#i wasn’t going to but then it felt wrong without it

[lnlightning81]

Positive P2

Summary : Surprising Lando after a race with the results to your pregnancy test

Pairing/s: Lando Norris x Reader

Word Count:

Warning/s: Pregnancy, Talk of not being able to have kids

Watching Lando with kids has always been a beautiful sight. However, watching Lando with Mila and Athena was a totally different experience. There was a different connection watching the two of them. Normally, kids cried when they saw Lando because their hero was right in front of them, but with Mila and Athena, he was just ‘Lala’ and not Lando Norris. 

The video of Lando playing with Mila when she was just a little baby throwing his phone about the place had started to circulate your social media; it only made your baby fever start to grow.

You were due to meet Lando at the paddock as he had gone a little early for the media and you just wanted to lie in but it wasn’t until you felt ill that you messaged Lando asking if he had time to quickly come back to the hotel after stopping at the shop for something. To which he replied obviously still in that state of life where you could ask him to murder someone, and he would. 

There was very little chance you could actually be pregnant with not only you and Lando being extremely careful but with you being told that there was little chance of you ever getting pregnant throughout your life but with your baby fever and how you were feeling everything pointed towards that actually maybe coming true. 

Lando had wanted to wait and see the results but you knew that he couldn’t or he’d get fined so you forced him out of the hotel room telling him that he’d be the first person to know. Except he wouldn’t be. If the test came back positive, you had the perfect way to tell him. 

But when you saw that positive result that’s when you panicked, you never thought you’d actually see the day when that test actually came back positive after many years of being told it would never happen. 

Now, standing in the Mclaren motorhome, you still hadn't told Lando the results. You didn’t want to stress him out before a race. Never mind a race when he was starting on the front row with the chance of winning but you did tell Zak knowing the perfect way to tell him after a good or bad race and hopefully he’d be happy with the news. 

Lando finished P2 just as he started. No one was getting past Max Verstappen any time soon, so it was basically a win for him, and you knew he’d say that when asked about it. Zak waved you over, and you walked over to the pit wall standing behind him as he placed his headphones over your ears and pressed the radio button for Lando’s car. Nodding to you with a smile 

“Hey baby. That’s a positive P2” You hummed, hoping he’d catch on to what you were saying without Sky or F1TV or any other showings catching it. 

“Positive?” He asked with a frown. You could hear the frown on his face

“Wait? What are you doing on the radio?” Now very confused as to everything 

“Yep. Positive P2” You smiled

“Zak let me tell you your position for the day” You looked at Zak, who was smiling at you 

“Oh my god, Y/N. This is brilliant. I love you so much!” He exclaimed 

“I’ll see you at the podium baby” You gave Zak his headphones back 

“Got a podium to get to. Let’s go” He smiled, and you walked with him. Zak’s more than just the CEO to you and Lando. He was always a phone call away if anything went wrong or if you didn’t travel out to a race and couldn’t get a hold of Lando the next best person to call was Zak because he’d always answer. 

Zak would invite you, Lando, Oscar, and Lily out for food whenever he got the chance or would send you little gifts during Christmas or your birthday. He was kinda like a father figure to you both. Standing watching the podium next to Zak, you could see how big the smile on Lando’s face was compared to normal. 

Meeting Lando back in his driving room, you were instantly wrapped in a hug with his hands landing on your stomach as he kissed your neck from behind 

“I can’t believe it, baby. You’re serious, right? We’re going to have a baby? I got the message, right?” He asked, and you nodded 

“I’m very serious. We're going to have a baby. I’m so glad you got that message, though. I was a little worried you wouldn’t understand what I was saying” You smiled, turning in his arms as he kissed you properly this time. 

“Oh my god, a little baby. Oh love you’re parent’s. They’re gonna be so happy they’re getting a grandbaby” Lando was very excited as he basically jumped around the room like a little kid in a sweet shop. 

“If it’s okay with you, I don’t want to tell anyone for a few months” you whispered, sitting down on the couch in his driver's room. Lando looked over at you

“Whatever you want” He smiled, and you nodded 

“After being told I probably would never have kids, I don’t want to tell people. There’s a risk that everything might go wrong and I don’t want to tell everyone we’re having a kid to be reminded that actually we aren’t” You explained quietly and he wrapped you in a hug 

“Whatever you want to do we will do darling but I do know that I love you very much and whatever happens will never change my mind but we’ll do it together” He smiled kissing you around your face causing you to giggle from his stubble tickling your skin 

Tag List

@bearryyy

@thewannabewriter

@lozzamen3

@barcelonaloverf1life

@hiireadstuff

@mxdi0

@f1kenzzz

@evie-119

[pierregazly]

soft for you ꨄ lance stroll

lance stroll x reader

warnings: disgusting fluff, mention of crash [1018 words]

request: could i request 3 & 4 from the 🫶🏼 prompt list with lance? [3. SMILING during a kissss >>>>> and 4. the gaze that softens as soon as it lands on you.]

note: lance taking after his dad >>> relationships come before f1 >>> this is part of my 1.5k celebration! feel free to request away!!

He was pissed. Even without hearing his words, or knowing the whole situation, you could see it in his face. His eyebrows were pinched, the sarcastic roll of his eyes after every sentence that left his mouth, both stark examples of how genuinely angry Lance was.

It had been a nightmare of a season from the first race, anything that could go wrong, having gone wrong. You knew nothing you could say or do would truly change Lance’s perspective. The car wasn’t great, the strategy was poor, and little mistakes had begun piling up, the damage to his car worse and worse almost every race.

And the first race of the season you were able to attend? Another crash, another early end to Lance’s race. You couldn’t help the grimace that overtook your face as you watched him argue with one of the engineers, his hands flying up in the air in exasperation as another eye roll was visible from your spot across the room.

Multiple people were trying to avoid looking at the conversation currently taking place, not wanting to overstep or get anywhere near the line of fire once Lance finally made his exit from the room. You couldn’t help but stare at the situation, waiting for him to finally look up, to finally make eye contact with you.

It didn’t take him long to do so once he realized he had multiple eyes on him, his brown orbs locating your own just seconds later. His face, his mere gaze, softened almost immediately, any comment from his engineer going unheard and ignored as he simply nodded his head in response to whatever he was saying. You couldn’t help the small smile that began to form on your face as he walked towards you, leaving his mechanics and engineers to stew in their own anger and frustration.

Just another little thing you could always count on. He could be livid. He could be whipping his steering wheel across the room, or shouting at whoever would listen; but he would never allow it to enter your relationship. It was one thing you admired, one of so many things you loved about him. His career, his job, it was separate from your relationship and always had been.

He didn’t talk about racing when he was with you, didn’t talk about how poor the season was going or how miserable he was beginning to become. He would talk about it when you urged him to, not wanting him to bottle it up, not wanting him to feel as if you didn’t support him when he was at his worst. But he never let it effect your relationship, never let the anger mask his love for you, or the way he treated you.

Pulling you into his arms once he was close enough, you felt his chin rest gently on the crown of your head as a loud exhale left his body. His back muscles were tense, his body practically shaking in frustration as he squeezed you tighter, trying to take advantage of all the time he could get with you.

Pulling back, you watched the corners of his lips curve as he gazed down at you. Your grip on his bicep not letting up as you observed the influx of emotions cross his features. The defeat, the frustration, the misery; they were so prevalent at first, so raw as he tried to contain them. But before long, the emotions of devastation began to melt away. The small grin on his face not wavering as he looked down on you, practically delighted to see you, regardless of the outcome of his day.

“Bonjour, mon coeur. You look beautiful, as always,” he murmured.

Smiling up at him, you stood on your tiptoes so you could press a small kiss to his lips in gratitude for his words.

“Bonjour, my love. How are you? Are you okay? Are you sore? You’re very tense,” the onslaught of questions spewed from your lips, unable to contain them as you began looking him over.

The soft grip on your cheek was all you needed to glance back up into his eyes. A faint smile still graced his face as he gently ran his thumb across your cheek. A smile still graced his face as he leaned down to press his lips against yours, prompting your own lips to curve upwards as he did so. 

“I’m fine, mon coeur. A little sore, nothing I haven’t dealt with before. I just have to deal with some media, and probably some more yelling, and then we can get out of here, yeah? I can book us reservations for somewhere, or we can just get room service back at the hotel? Whatever you want.”

“Lance… if you want to talk about the race, we can. You don’t have to be so nonchalant about it, I know you’re not happy,” you said.

Shrugging his shoulders at you, his only response was to lean down and brush his lips against yours again, the curve of them still so prominent. The softness, the gentleness, the simple adoration so evident in his every action with you.

His lips touched yours before moving on to the tip of your nose, your cheeks, the skin below your ear; a smile gracing his lips with every kiss.

“I’m not happy, but not much I can do about it. I’m not going to let it determine my time with you, though. Work stays at work, no need to bring it back to the hotel with us. So, reservations, or hotel dinner?”

Before you could answer, Lance continued.

“Dinner in the hotel sounds like a good idea, I think. Room service and some reality television sounds like a good time to me, maybe cuddle up a little and ignore the world. What do you think?”

Pressing your lips against his with a large grin, your only response was a squeeze of his bicep and a nod of your head. If he wanted to escape the world and hold you all night? Well, all you could do was say ‘yes’. 

just wanted to write something soft/loving so i hope y'all love this!!! thank you everyone for participating in my follower celebration and being lovely!!!

[alexias-putellas]

girlfriend // l.wälti x reader

l.wälti x reader

based on this request! ft an oc so apologies if your name is actually ava 😅😅 it’s not a long one but i wanted to get something out for you all since i’m feeling a little better <3

-

you scowled into your glass, rolling your eyes at beth’s pathetic attempt at concealing her laughter. leah’s hand was on lia’s arm again and when the blonde smirked at you, you had half a mind to throw your glass at her stupid face.

“you wouldn’t feel like this if you just asked her out.” beth said and you whipped your head around to look at her.

“why would i ask her out?”

”why would you ask her out?” beth scoffed and you were almost offended at how stupid she made you sound. “maybe because you fancy her and she fancies you.”

“yeah,” you snorted, motioning to lia and leah again. “sure looks like it.”

“leah’s just pissing you off, you know that nothing’s going on with them.”

you rolled your eyes again. beth was right but that didn’t mean you had to like it. you’d seen the speculation from fans and whilst most of it was funny, some of it did bother you.

“here,” steph shoved a different drink into your hand as she dropped into the seat next to yours. “that’ll cheer you up.”

“ugh, i am not in a mood!”

both beth and steph gave you a look and you sighed, slumping back into your seat. suddenly drinking with the girls was a terrible idea. even more so when you looked back up to see lia and leah mere inches from each other.

“you know what? i think i’m gonna go,” you stood, gathering your things quickly, waving off the attempts at getting you to stay. “no, honestly, i’m pretty tired. i’ll see you both at training.”

you somehow managed to escape the pub without any more of a fuss and decided to forego your usual after-drinking meal and head straight home, your appetite suddenly lost.

ᡣ𐭩

how the girls managed to get you back into a pub a few days later you didn’t know. you must’ve said no a million times but yet there you were, glaring daggers at leah once again. who in your opinion was sitting far too close to lia. with a heaved sigh, you made your way over to the bar.

“the other one is a lot nicer.” someone said next to you and you hummed in confusion, glancing down at your drink before turning to them.

you found yourself face to face with a fairly attractive girl who couldn’t have been much older than you and you blushed under her intense gaze. “i’ve never actually tried it.”

“well we can’t have that,” she grinned at you before waving down a bartender. “i’m ava by the way.”

you just about managed to splutter out your own name before she was handing you a bottle, hitting the bottom of it slightly to encourage you to drink it.

she wasn’t wrong about the flavour. the one she’d ordered was a lot nice than the one you chose and you were quick to let her know.

had you been paying attention to your incredibly nosy teammates, you’d have noticed the way steph and beth were nudging each other and doing absolutely nothing to hide the fact that they were talking about you. of course that caught the attention of your other teammates and soon you had an audience.

but lia wasn’t happy. she watched with a frown as you laughed at something the stranger said, your head falling back as you gripped onto the bar so you wouldn’t fall.

the brunette’s eyes were stuck on the two of you and she grew a little giddy when it looked like the conversation had ended but for some reason you were bringing the stranger over to the table.

“hey guys, this is ava,” you said, guiding the stranger—ava to the only spare seats. “she’s actually a huge fan.”

you and ava ended up in the seats between lia and jen and much to the swiss woman’s dismay, ava was as kind and funny as she was pretty. and the other girls seemed to really like her.

ava was answering one of jordan’s questions when you felt something brush against your thigh. you glanced down, seeing lia’s hand resting on your chair.

it wasn’t long before it founds its way onto your thigh. if ava noticed she didn’t say anything.

after a few more drinks, one of the girls suggested that you all relocated to the club down the road. of course nobody had objections and as soon as you’d entered the building, you were being pulled up to dance by katie and you were quick to grab ava’s wrist, the three of you heading over to the crowded dance floor.

you briefly noticed some of the other girls dotted around but katie was twirling you before you could do anything.

you were thankful that the lights were able to hide your flushed face as ava caught you in her arms. you watched as she glanced behind her, her grip loosening ever so slightly. if you hadn’t had that last drink, you probably would’ve asked her what was wrong. but leah was handing you a shot and all was forgotten.

for a while anyway.

you soon found yourself dragging ava into the toilets and whilst you weren’t expecting anything to happen, you were still a little disappointed that nothing did.

“i think i’m gonna go.” ava said loudly as you washed your hands, looking at her with furrowed brows.

“why?”

“your girlfriend is scary.”

“lia’s not my girlfriend.”

ava’s eyebrow quirked and you felt your face flush again, the clear lights doing nothing in your favour. “funny that you knew who i was talking about.”

“seriously though, she’s not.”

“could’ve fooled me,” ava shrugged. “it’s clear that she wants to be and i’m guessing you feel the same.”

“oh my—what is happening right now?” you whispered to yourself, quickly drying your hands on your dress. “i thought we were going to hook up but now you’re trying to hook me up with lia.”

there was a flash of something on ava’s face but you caught it, eyes narrowing as she laughed somewhat nervously. “stranger things have happened in this club i imagine.”

“yeah, no—which one of them put you up to this?”

ava sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose. “leah and beth.”

“both of them? can’t say i’m surprised,” you shook your head. “well ava, it’s been a pleasure to meet you anyway and i’ve actually had a really good night.”

“me too,” ava nodded in agreement whilst glancing at the door behind you. “now go get your girl.”

whilst that was something you wanted to do, part of you also wanted to see just how far your friends would go to get you and lia together.

you waved ava off and managed to find the girls, frowning when they appeared to be gathering their stuff to leave. you could hear katie calling them boring as she downed the rest of her drink.

her arm was quickly thrown around your shoulder and you were yanked into her side. this didn’t go unnoticed by lia.

“oh my god, katie, you’re so heavy get off!” you whined as you somehow made it outside, desperately glancing at the other girls for help. “you’re not even that drunk, get off!”

katie laughed as you struggled to push her off but eventually managed it. you glared at her, shoving her forward and ignoring the quip of be careful from beth.

you noticed that lia wasn’t there and glanced behind you to see her walking slowly, head facing the ground. you stood still, waiting until she was near you before speaking. “hey are you okay?”

lia looked up like a deer caught in headlights as she registered that it was you. in your head, you were so lost in the thought of telling her how you felt that you hadn’t noticed her standing right in front of you until her lips were on yours.

you melted into the kiss, stomach fluttering as her thumbs gently rubbed along the skin of your cheeks. when lia pulled away, you frowned a little, not ready for the moment to end just yet.

“why haven’t we done that before?” lia asked quietly.

“i’m not sure,” you whispered, glancing down at her lips. “but we should definitely do it again. and maybe some more tomorrow.”

and when lia’s lips met yours for another kiss, you made a mental note to profusely thank beth and leah for their annoyingly useful nosiness.

[leaderwonim]

unconditional love. ✧ park sunghoon x fem!reader genre: bittersweet fluff, coming of age angst

you liked park sunghoon, you truly did. he was kind, intelligent, and had that soft introverted persona on the outside.

when you got to know him, he became the most funny and loudest person to ever exist, which had your heart doing backflips.

it wasn’t him that was the issue. it was you. you always had commitment issues, never being able to settle down because of your past pulling you behind. i mean—how could anyone ever like you? you felt as thought you were too loud, too annoying, too irritable, just too much.

despite your brain constantly bringing you down, park sunghoon loved you. he loved every single piece of you, the way you’d blow your perfect hair out of your face as you concentrated on the textbook in front of you, the way your eyebrows would furrow when you didn’t quite catch a question or answer, the way you’d prop your head onto your knees as a way to comfort yourself.

god, park sunghoon swore you were the one. he didn’t care that his friends warned him about your earned title of being a ghoster when it came to relationships, he didn’t care that it felt like he was constantly putting in more effort than you.

as long as he’s got you, he doesn’t care. so how did the two of you end up in this situation?

“i don’t get it,” sunghoon frowns, “what did i do wrong?”

“you didn’t do anything wrong,” you say exasperatedly, “in fact, you were perfect sunghoon. you were everything i wanted and more—it’s just me.”

park sunghoon hated the classic it’s me not you excuse when it came to situations like these. but because it’s you, he lets it slide, even though he already feels the tears coming.

“i don’t want to hurt you any longer, hoonie. you have to understand i’m ending this because i care about you too much to put you through hell.”

sunghoon solemnly nods, knowing whatever he’ll say won’t change anything, that it’s already too late and you’ve already made up your mind.

it’s cruel, he thinks. life. how it could be so depressing and meekly all at once.

it wasn’t until a year later that sunghoon and you crossed paths again. you two were now sophomores in college, and had even attended the same university.

you had gotten a boyfriend, finally deciding to settle down after maturing and realizing how much of a piece of shit you were to all the boys at your high school.

his name was heeseung and he had treated you like a princess, reminding you of how sunghoon used to treat you back in senior year.

now here you were, sitting on one of the university steps with your head hung low. your parents had given you the call about them divorcing, right in the middle of your sophomore year. you were miles away, and was heartbroken knowing your family was splitting in two without you being there physically to support them.

“hey, you okay?”

you knew that voice better than anyone.

“hoon?” you sniffle. “i’m sorry—why am i even calling you that.”

“it’s okay.” he reassures you, patting your back as he takes a seat. “what’s wrong?”

“parents are getting divorce,” you scoff. “guess thats karma for all the things i put you through.”

“don’t say that.” sunghoon gently wipes away your tears, frowning when he sees more appear.

“you shouldn’t even be comforting me, i treated you like shit sunghoon, i got a new boyfriend right after i said i couldn’t settle down with you.”

“who cares?” sunghoon says, and for the first time, you don’t see the romantic love he used to have in his eyes for you. “we’re young! of course you’re going to find other people.”

you’re in awe at the maturity sunghoon is displaying. you knew it took a lot of courage for him to do so.

“why are you being so nice, sunghoon?”

“the world is already cruel, yn.” sunghoon sighs. “so therefore, i won’t be.”

and although his words won’t stop the divorce of your parents or the sadness filling your chest, it makes you feel a tad bit lighter, knowing that you had someone like park sunghoon in your life.

[girlboypersonthingy]

Could you maybe write a Sally Face One Shot, where Sal developed a huge crush on reader. But he thinks she doesn’t feel the same way. So he writes a love letter in which he puts no hope in, but then she actually tells him she does feel the same.

Does that even make any sense?😭

Yes…it makes sense and I’m weeping over this omggggg 😭😭😭 bruh this had me screaming and kicking in bed as I wrote it omfgggggg. Sal is pretty smart so I know this mf would write some pretty, thought out, poetic type shit

Notes: gn!reader, established friendship, friends to lovers trope

TW: none, just so fucking sappy and fluffy

Sal x reader- Sincerely Sally 💌

Dear (Y/N),

I want to start by telling you that you’re an amazing friend. I’m beyond grateful we’ve met. You’ve always made me feel so comfortable, so wanted, so important. No words could ever truly explain my feelings for you or the thoughts behind them, but I’m going to try.

Since we met, I’ve seen nothing but good in you and I think you’ve made me good, too. You make me feel good. You make me a better person. I don’t know who I’d be without you, but I know who I want to be now.

I want to be the one on your arm when we walk into a room.

I want to be the one you wake up to every morning and fall asleep next to every night.

I want to kiss you every time we say ‘good bye’ and every time we say ‘hello’ again.

I want to be the one you point to with a smile and say ‘him’ when talking to others.

I want to be the one to hold you when you cry.

I want to be the one to hug you when you’re excited.

I want to go every where you go.

I want to slow dance with you.

I want to head bang with you.

I want to paint with you.

I want to sing to you.

I want to hold you.

I want you.

I love you.

I’m in love with you.

And I’m sorry.

Sincerely,

Sally <3

Sal felt like a total loser while sneaking over to your place, which was just down the street from Todd’s house, and slipping the letter in your mailbox. He felt like he could puke just from writing the letter, there’s no way he could ever say these things to your face. He couldn’t help but hesitate, staring at the mailbox as his heart beat rapidly in his chest. ‘They’re going to hate me. I’m gonna ruin everything. What the hell am I doing?’ Sal thinks to himself, staying frozen in place for a good few minutes as thousands of thoughts race through his mind, shaky hands stuffed in his hoodie pockets.

He jumps a bit when he notices the light in your bedroom flick on through your window. He ducks his head and turns to leave, not wanting to get caught lurking around your house in the middle of the night. As he rushes back home, the panic begins to set in because now he realizes he left it…he left the letter behind. It was done. No turning back. He felt sick to his stomach and like he was already grieving the loss of your friendship.

Sal tip toes back in the house, praying neither Neil nor Todd would catch him sneaking in so late and ask questions. He trudges to his room, shedding his clothes before flopping onto his bed. Sal lays on his side and after taking his prosthetic off, stares at the wall for hours thinking about all the ways this could go wrong, all the ways you could reject him, every excuse and lie he could use later to act like it wasn’t even serious, like it was a dumb joke or something. Finally, after his brain had tortured him enough, he drifts off to sleep just before the sun begins to rise.

~next morning~

‘Holy shit…’ You think as you hold the piece of lined note book paper in your shaky hands. “No way…no way!” A giddy smile grows on your face as you clumsily drop all the other mail you had in your hands, besides Sal’s letter, on the ground and take off running for him. It was early in the morning and you were in pajamas still but nothing could stop you now. His house was not far at all and you were too excited not to immediately run to him and profess your love for him.

You and Sal had been friends almost as long as he has with Larry and Todd. You’ve slowly fallen in love with him just as hard as he has with you- the issue is that you are both dummies and think the other person sees you as a friend and a friend only. You’d find yourself dreaming of Sal, not knowing he was dreaming of you too. You’d absentmindedly doodle his name on piece of paper and blush, he’d find a strand of your hair on his shirt and smile so big under his mask. You two have been pining for so long but both so afraid to wreck the relationship you already have. Eventually, Sal felt like he couldn’t get anything done, couldn’t focus on his studies or the ghosts or even eating throughout the day. His brain was full, flooded even, with thoughts of you. He just had to get it out, he had to say it to you now or he would be haunted by it forever. Unbeknownst to Sal…you felt the exact same way.

Bouncing up to his doorstep with an uncontrollable smile on your face, cheeks aching and turning red, you knock on the door and ball your fists up out of excitement. Finally, Todd answers the door, smiling at you before greeting you. “(Y/N)! What are you doing here so early? We-“ “Sal! I-I’m sorry. I need to talk to Sal.” You interrupt, your crazy smile making Todd chuckle softly just as Neil comes up behind him. “Morning, (Y/N)! Sal isn’t up yet. He’s still-“

You weren’t trying to be rude, you adored Todd and Neil but you were currently completely 100% hyperfixated on the sleeping blue haired poet behind the door at the end of the hall way and you just had to see him immediately. “I-I’m sorry…” You laugh softly as you push past them, sprinting for his door, gripping the knob excitedly before swinging the door open. The sound of the door swinging back against the door frame stirs Sally from his sleep, making him groan and glance over at the doorway. Before he can react to you being in his bedroom, in your pajamas still with bed head and an adorable love sick smile on your face, you’re jumping into his blankets with arms wide open. As you practically belly flop on top of him, he huffs softly then chuckles, groggily blinking at you.

“Uh…morning…” He mumbles just before you place the folded love letter on his chest, giving him a small smirk. His eyes open wider now, his prosthetic eye not in its usual socket. Sal scrambles nervously to sit up more, his breath hitching in his throat. He was so half asleep for a moment there, he had forgotten all about the letter he planted in your mailbox last night. “Oh I uh….yeah uh-uhm-“ Sal can’t seem to move his mouth correctly, can’t focus his brain on the words he wants to say. And he just breaks down even more when he realizes you’re in his bed, still in pajamas with the cutest messiest bed head. He can’t deal with the cuteness and his gnawing anxiety…So you speak up instead.

“I love you too.” You smile sweetly before pulling yourself up closer to his scarred face and rubbing your nose against his. Sal lets out a whiny little hum as he lets his nervous hands very slowly move up to rest on your back, smiling like a sappy dork as he hugs you softly. He’s not sure what exactly he was expecting to happen after giving you that letter but this is most definitely the best case scenario. “Let’s just…fucking kiss already.” You say with a cheeky smile, eyes half lidded as you lean in closer. Sal sucks in a breath before letting his eyes close along with yours, pursing his lips out as his hands move up your arms and to your cheeks. His big palms caress your face so perfectly, his thumbs sliding back and forth over your skin as you lock lips, gently moving your mouths together as soft sighs leave both of you.

As his hands pull your face closer, your hands wander up and down his bare arms, legs tangled up in his blankets along with him now, you couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh against his lips. “I’m glad you finally told me…that letter was so beautiful.” You whisper, lips gently ghosting against his now. Sal keeps his eyes closed but smiles brightly. “I wrote 153 of those letters.” He confesses, face burning bright red. “No you didn’t.” You scoff, looking down at him, finding this fact hilarious and also adorable and flattering.

“Oh yes he did!” Todd and Neil are leaning in the open doorway. Oops…you got so excited you didn’t shut the door behind you when you ran in. “Proof!” Neil laughs out loudly as he points to Sal’s trash can in the corner of the room, overflowing with balled up pieces of paper. You laugh as you look over, Neil and Todd laughing along with you. Sal drapes an arm over his face, trying to hold back his flustered smile and embarrassed expression. “Stoopppp.” He complains before you’re standing and playfully glaring at the two boys in the doorway. “That’s enough teasing. Shoo!” You grin at Todd before shutting the door on them and turning back to Sal.

“153, huh? Wow. That’s some dedication, lover boy.” You climb back into his bed, sitting cross legged beside him. “Why didn’t you just tell me in person, Sal? Would’ve been way easier.” You scoot closer to him and run your fingers through his tangled hair. “Uh, I totally disagree. I nearly had a panic attack just putting that letter in your mailbox and then having to walk away from it.” A laugh rings out from you as you toss your head back. “Ha! So, What? You’re afraid to say you love me but not afraid of ghosts or demons or cults?” You taunt him before leaning over to rest your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes for a second. “You’re strange. And I love that about you.” You rest there with him for a moment before a fantastic idea hits you, making you sit up and gasp excitedly.

“Can I read the other ones too?!” Before Sal can answer, you’ve jumped up and ran to the rejected pile of love letters in the corner. “No! (Y/N)! No no nononononono!” Sal jumps up and runs to tackle you, his face blushing so red from his ears and down his neck. You laugh loudly as he wraps his arms around your waist and tries to pull you away from all the other embarrassing things he wrote and considered saying to you. “They’re…in the trash…for a reason!” He laughs and huffs as you you push forward, trying to reach even just one crumpled up piece of paper. “Pleeaaassseeeee?” You plead but your strength leaves you as Sal tickles you and has you cackling on the ground instantly.

And the next 10 minutes are spent wrestling with him on the floor of his bedroom while laughing like drunk idiots and occasionally pressing a kiss to the other’s lips. Eventually, you do get ahold of a few of the discarded love letter drafts and they are either like Shakespeare poetry type shit, or so fucking dorky and corny, full of puns and shit. Larry probably tried to help him with that one lol

[lilyisclueless]

When they realize they’re in love - Geto Suguru

How I imagine the boys get hit with the realization that they love you. This one is for Suguru, but I eventually will do the others <3

Pairing: Geto Suguru x reader

Tags: Fluff, mentions of/implied depression

It was a few months ago when it all started. You came to him randomly one day, greeting him with a soft knock on his door before he allowed you in. He remembers almost ignoring the quiet tap tap tap but couldn’t bring himself to when he heard your angelic, timid voice. It was so unlike you to be so nervous, and despite the turmoil he was going through, he was worried.

You walked through his doors, nervously shuffling your feet as you avoided his gaze. You seemed so nervous, and he had no idea what until your words took him by surprise.

“Can… Can we cuddle? I’ve been feeling bad lately and I don’t know… if it’s okay, of course.”

How could he have refused you back then? With your cheeks a little red and shyly glancing up at him? And when he asked why him, why not Satoru, you scoffed, as if he offended you by the mere suggestion. Then you told him that you felt safe with him, and you knew he wouldn’t tease you about it or hold it against you, and he couldn’t argue with that.

It quickly became routine for the two of you to cuddle throughout the day. Any time the both of you weren’t on a mission, you were in his arms. At first, he thought he would be bothered by it, but you never spoke. You never made light conversation. The two of you enjoyed each other's company in a silent embrace. And while he was only doing it for you, a part of him needed it too after everything.

He tried not to think about it too much.

Then came the nightmares. You told him lately you’ve been having nightmares, and asked if you could stay with him. Again, how could he say no? You were on par with Satoru when it came to importance, the two of you one half to make him whole - he, himself, just an empty husk.

That was an immediate change. The first time he had you wrapped in his arms, softly breathing into his collarbone while he rested his face on the top of your hair, breathing in your sweet shampoo, it was over. He was grateful you felt the same since you came to his room on your own accord every night without him ever having to ask. Not that he would have, which is all the more reason to be grateful for you.

Part of him had been worried for you. You never spoke about what was wrong. You held yourself well, never seeming like anything was going on. Unlike him, who he felt was obvious he was falling apart by the dark circles under his eyes. You made everything more bearable, but it didn’t fix it.

At least until one night, when he thought he would have an overnight mission. He rarely did those anymore because he worried for you (and he selfishly didn’t want to sleep without you either). He managed to get through the mission a lot faster than he thought, and he came to the dorms a little before midnight. You claim that you can’t sleep without him, so he was surprised to find you snuggled up in bed and resting peacefully.

He decided he didn’t want to disturb you and left to go back to his quiet room that still smelled strongly of you. It felt so empty without you, but who was he to disturb you when you finally were able to sleep on your own? He knew eventually you would, and so he got a very, very restless sleep that night.

It wasn’t until earlier this morning he was hit with a strange realization. You’ve been lying.

It wasn’t serious or anything. You greeted him happily, surprised to see him, and told him that you missed him last night, then casually spoke about how you could barely sleep without him. You seemed pretty peaceful last night to him. You could’ve easily woken up later through the night, it wasn’t like he stood there watching you. However, maybe it was just his gut, or maybe he was just a suspicious person in general, but something told him to question you further.

He asked when you fell asleep, and you said you didn’t get any sleep until way past midnight.

He wasn’t mad necessarily. Just… confused? Perplexed? Because why lie? He later asked Shoko about your nightmares, because while you didn’t tell him things, he knew you talked to Shoko. She had no idea what he was talking about. To be fair, maybe you just didn’t talk to her either, but he highly doubted it.

So now here the two of you are, silently enjoying each other again while he tries to decipher your actions. When the two of you first started cuddling, you had been the little spoon. Somewhere along the way, you claimed that being the big spoon made you feel better. That having him lay across your chest made you feel safe, but getting to hold him and run your fingers through his hair made you feel a little less weak. Like you were protecting him. He didn’t argue with your logic, happy to oblige to anything you wanted.

So that’s how the two of you are currently; you resting against the headboard of his bed with him draped on top of you. Usually, you’d be lying on the bed with his face resting against your collarbone, but today you were in a sitting position and he was laying on his back with hush head on your lap. He was staring up at you, trying to figure you out, while you lazily ran your fingers through his hair. You’re reading a book, but you glance over it to peer down at him.

“Something on your mind?” You ask, gently pushing a strand of his hair out of his face and down with the rest of his hair.

“You don’t have nightmares, do you?” He blurts out. He didn’t mean to ask that, a part of him that he tried to ignore was scared it would all end.

You froze, your hand going stiff against his face. You stare down at him with big doe eyes, and he wonders if you would try to deny it. After a moment, you close the book you’re reading and set it aside with a sigh.

“No I don’t…”

Just like he thought. So why? Why did you tell him those excuses? It wasn’t like he was mad, but why? Before he could ask, you beat him to it.

“Please don’t be mad, I just… you’ve seemed so tired. So… gone. And anytime I tried to talk to you about it, you shut me out. And I had a feeling that I’d I asked if you needed a hug, you’d say no… so I told you I needed it instead.”

It all clicked then. He remembers the way you constantly tried to check on him. How he would always brush off your concerns, tell you ‘I’m fine’ and wave you away. It wasn’t long after that you came to him with a bad day.

It makes sense now. The way you never seemed sad. The reason why you asked to be a big spoon. How you only talked when he talked. Why you always brought his favorite snacks, and always cleaned up after - because you knew he was too depressed to keep his room clean.

You told him keeping it clean made you feel better. You told him doing laundry took your mind off things. You said you liked to cuddle in a well-made bed. It suddenly all clicked into place.

You weren’t trying to feel better and keep your mind off things. You've been taking care of him, and you had somehow convinced him that he was taking care of you.

You had been rambling for a moment now, and he vaguely heard you try to explain yourself and apologize, asking him to please not be mad. His heart was pounding so loudly that he could barely understand what you were saying. All he knew was that you looked so pretty like that; feeling guilty that you tricked him just so you could take care of him. Not because he asked. Not because you needed to. Because you wanted to. He could feel a strong prickling sensation at the corner of his eyes, his heart squeezing in his chest while the sensation of butterflies overtook his stomach - something he hadn’t felt before.

He quickly picks himself up from your lap, and you weakly protest against it, afraid that he is mad at you. Instead, he flips himself over so he is no longer on his back but instead his chest facing you. He grabs your waist, gently but firmly yanking you down into a lying position. You yelp his name in surprise, but he ignores you to instead bury his face into the nook of your shoulder. He wraps his arms around you, and he squeezes you tightly for a moment. Your arms linger above him, almost like you’re suddenly afraid to touch him.

“Can we keep doing this?” He asks, and he hates the way his voice almost cracks. He knows you could probably feel the slowly growing wetness seeping through your shirt, unable to stop the tears he’s been denying for so long. He doesn’t know why he suddenly feels so small, so broken. He knows he’s been this way for a while, but he never allowed himself to feel it like this.

Then your arms were around him again, running a comforting hand up and down his back. He accepts that it’s for him this time, and suddenly it feels so much more significant. He’s always appreciated you doing this deep down, but now? Now it feels almost healing.

“Of course. For as long as you need, Suguru. You’re not alone,” you whisper softly to him. You bury your face into his hair, and his heart leaps when you press a fleeting kiss to his soft strands.

“…And if I need you forever?” He was hesitant to say that. He’s not sure if he’s always felt this way and his emotions have just been clouding his feelings, or if the realization of how much you care about him made them suddenly appear, but saying that made it feel a little too real.

Because, fuck, he loves you.

You were quiet for a moment, and he was okay with that. Even if you didn’t care about him the way he realized he cared about you, that was fine. As long as you were near. You squeeze him a little tighter.

“I can only hope,” you mumble into his hair, and he can’t help the weak smile against your shoulder.

Maybe he would be okay. When he is, he’s going to ask you on a date.

[definedareasofuncertainty]

hi frienddd❤️ (im totally gonna spam your ask box but feel free to choose whichever lyric you wanna use)

guilty as sin

messy top lip kiss , how i long for our trysts

without ever touching his skin , how can i be guilty as sin

Also for @galvanizedfriend who asked for these lyrics too

-

She wasn’t doing anything wrong.

In fact, she wasn’t even doing anything. It wasn’t as if she had acted upon any of the… interesting ideas her brain had decided to come up with to torment her late at night. She would chalk it all up to some temporary insanity and, honestly, given the amount of trauma and stress she had gone through ever since she had literally died and come back as a creature of nightmares… it wasn’t as if she could be blamed.

Right?

Caroline held back a sigh, slumping in her chair as she gripped tight onto the table, careful not to break it in her frustration. She could leave. She should leave. Except… she had decided being home all alone was too dangerous given the directions her mind had started to wander, and she could really use the distraction of being around other people.

If only the person she was trying to distract herself from hadn’t decided on a night out as well.

Klaus was shooting pool, out of all things. His siblings playing against him. It seemed almost unreal watching these creatures who seemed to be older than time squabbling and bickering. But what looked very real was Klaus’ backside every time he leaned towards the table.

She bit her lowerlip, her traitorous eyes refusing to look away. God. This was getting ridiculous.

Awful, despicable men who ran her (now ex) boyfriend out of town should not have perfect shoulder-to-waist ratio. Their shirts should not cling to their biceps like that. And they most definitely weren’t allowed to have curls like an angel’s falling over their forehead like that.

She watched as he threw some barb or another after a perfect shot, transfixed. And her gaze must have been burning holes into his back, because he turned around, searching her. And curving his lips into the most sinful smirk when he caught her staring.

Caroline bit down a groan.

He was awful. Terrible. Disgusting. She had to remember that.

Even if Tyler was off to god knows where with god knows who. Even if he had broken up with her through a phone call. Even if her bed felt far too empty and lonely and cold. And even if her mind had become particularly creative and convincing and really, what would a thousand years of experience even feel like?

And maybe, if she just went there once to get this itching done with, she could get this out of her head and move on and-

Nope. Not going there.

She forced herself to close her eyes, even as her breath quickened, images pouring in her brain in flashes of kisses and entangled limbs and the overwhelming scent of him. And-

Caroline opened her eyes to find Klaus sitting across from her at her table, a knowing smile on his lips.

“Good evening, love.”

[darkjimxn]

Chapter 5: Dodgeball

Summary: Elitist Academy is exactly what it sounds like: an academy that focuses on teaching students from elite classes of the magic community. When Y/N is thrown into the academy to learn alongside 8 men, she realises she’ll have to learn to work with them, whether she likes it or not.

Pairing: Reader x OT7 (Choose Your Own)

Genre: Magic School au, mystery, angst

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: domestic abuse, additional warnings might be added as story progresses

A/N: Exams are finally over, so here's an update. Hope you enjoy!

Taglist: @florabloomgirly @shawtylilsalty

Your gaze stayed fixed on the man before you, hunched over as he cradled his bruised jaw with one hand. Was this what Principal Park had meant when he had said the Academy wasn’t entirely safe? You had assumed that he had been referring to secret abductions in the middle of the night or underlying schemes being formulated in the shadows. 

Not outright attacks being done in the centre of the main hall while the morning’s sunlight still shone brightly. 

You paused as the sound of expensive dress shoes striking against the marble floor echoed around the hall, each step slow and confident to reveal someone entering through the same doors the guy a few metres away from you had stumbled through just a few seconds earlier. 

You would have ignored whoever it was and walked over to the guy still crouched on the floor, but at the last second your gaze caught onto a few strands of dark purple, causing your head to snap towards him in shock.

Jimin’s brother paused at the doorway, scanning the main hall nonchalantly with those familiar occult red eyes. Even without the dimly lit atmosphere and dark shadows he seemed just as menacing as he had last night. The only difference was that now you could just barely pick up on an underlying anger lurking behind the nonchalant facade. 

His gaze flickered to you for a moment, taking in your standing form beside the Tree of Life, before it ultimately fell on the guy on the floor. 

At the sight of Jimin’s brother the guy pushed himself off the ground quickly with wide eyes and hands hovering upwards in a sign of surrender. 

Wait… was he the one that was doing this?

As if to answer your question, Jimin’s brother walked over to him and grabbed his collar with a gloved hand, dragging him with it until he slammed him against the nearest wall. 

The main hall began to fill with students from the dining hall, all of whom seemed curious, and clearly entertained, by the current state of events. They all made sure to give the two a wide area of space though, evidently making sure they wouldn’t get involved. 

Typical. 

You didn’t know if you wanted to get involved either. There was that feeling back in your chest, the one of elation whenever you watched men fight each other; whenever they decided to inflict pain on their own rather than on you. You knew it was wrong to feel that way, your hate didn’t blind you that much, but you still couldn’t seem to help yourself.

Come on, don’t be a monster Y/N, you thought with a sigh. 

You forced yourself to take a step towards the two, opening your mouth to reluctantly stop whatever was going on, but then paused as you suddenly recognised who Jimin’s brother had pinned to the wall. 

Wasn’t that the guy that had bullied Seokjin yesterday? What was his name… Jihoon?

“Look man,” Jihoon said, hands still up in surrender as Jimin’s brother held his collar, “I don’t understand what I did! Please just let me go, I’ll do whatever you want!”

“Oh?” Jimin’s brother grinned, a devilish glint in his eyes that did not match his calm tone, “not so tough now, are we?”

His gaze dropped to the bruise on Jihoon’s jaw, which was now turning an ugly shade of purple, “that’s disappointing, I was expecting a good fight.”

You watched Jihoon cower a bit when his gaze raised to meet his once again, “you want me to leave you alone?”

“Y-yes,” Jihoon answered, so quickly that you almost felt bad for him. Jimin’s brother nodded slowly, clearly relishing in his fear.

“Okay, but only on one condition.”

Jimin’s brother leaned forward to whisper something in his ear, but to your surprise, Jihoon seemed to freak out at the action. His head immediately jerked backwards, causing it to hit against the wall behind him roughly. A pained groan escaped his lips. 

You narrowed your gaze at the excessive reaction. You knew Jihoon was a coward the second you had caught him preying on Seokjin, but still… Jimin’s brother had only leaned forward. Was Jihoon really that scared of him?

Jimin’s brother ignored the reaction, waiting for him to stop groaning over his head, before he leaned forward once again and whispered something near his ear. You felt everyone strain their ears to try and listen to his words, but they were spoken much too low for anyone, including you, to hear. 

His words elicited another reaction from Jihoon, but this time it was more of a shocked response than a frightened one. 

“You what?!” He said incredulously, his hands dropping to his sides.

But one withering glare from Jimin’s brother suddenly had him nodding instantly, “wait- okay! Okay, I swear!”

“Great,” Jimin’s brother grinned with fake amusement for a moment before it dropped.

“Now get lost.”

Jihoon scrambled away from him the second he was freed, half running through the front doors of the academy. It was almost comical the way Hannah, the blonde foreigner that had been with him yesterday, ran after him while calling his name. The two definitely made for an interesting pair, you’ll give them that much. 

You looked back at Jimin’s brother, only to find him already walking out of the hall without another word. His expression was far from the amused cocky bastard from last night, this time filled with hidden rage that you questioned. You distantly wondered what Jihoon could have possibly done to make him so angry. 

“Cheonsa,” a voice behind you stated suddenly.

You turned around to find an unfamiliar girl standing next to you, dressed in the same Elitist Academy uniform as your own. Similar to Hannah she was also a foreigner, but her dark brown hair was pulled into short braids under her maroon cap while her light brown skin stood out against her cream-coloured collar. 

“Sorry, what?” You asked, unsure of what she had just said.

While the students that had stayed to watch the spectacle began making their way to their classes, she just continued to stand beside you and stare at the door in which Jimin’s brother had disappeared behind, “the guy that just practically beat up Jihoon, his name is Park Cheonsa.”

“Cheonsa?” You repeated, tilting your head slightly, “that’s an… odd name.”

The word itself translated to ‘angel,’ but you’d never actually heard anyone use it as a name before. The irony of someone like him being named angel was also not lost on you. 

“He’s the principal’s son, which is why he can get away with acting out like that. I’d be careful around him if I were you.”

You almost snorted, but held yourself back at the last minute so that you didn’t come off as rude. Everyone in this academy had rich parents that allowed them to act however they wanted, it was practically a requirement in order to get into the school. 

Still, it was sweet of her to give you a warning anyway.

You gave her a smile, “thanks for the warning… I guess. What’s your name?”

“Oh right!” She breathed with an embarrassed smile, “I almost forgot, I’m Amelia!”

“Y/N,” you offered, “it’s nice to meet you, Amelia.”

“It’s nice to meet you too Y/N, you’re really nice,” she said, then added shyly, “it’s been kind of hard to find nice people in this Academy.”

You regarded her for a moment, contemplating her words. She must have been from one of the more lower class families. In a place where everyone was rich, the students treated each other based on how rich their families were. So while Amelia was far from worrying about when her next meal would be, she and the students like her were probably taking the brunt of the bullying in this place. 

It was a sad truth, one that had you sympathising with her. 

“People can be real jerks, I totally get it,” you agreed, offering her another smile, “but if it means anything, you can always consider me a friend. Only if you’d like to, of course.”

To your surprise, Amelia frowned, “that’s very kind of you, but… if you’re seen with me, won’t they start targeting you as well? I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

You couldn’t help but smile, a light chuckle escaping your lips before you could stop yourself, “you don’t have to worry about that, I’ll be fine.”

You were sure word must have gotten out by now about who you were. Whether it was regarding your ability or the identity of your parents, either piece of information would be more than enough to protect you from any kind of bullying. 

“Besides,” you continued, giving her a dramatic frown, “I don’t even have any friends. You’re really going to let me die of loneliness?”

Amelia just laughed, shaking her head at you, “I didn’t realise your life was on the line here. In that case, how can I say no?”

With a smile, you checked the time on your phone, noticing that your class was about to start soon, “I have class right now, so I need to get going. Maybe we can meet up during break?”

“Really?” Amelia said, almost in surprise, as her expression brightened at the offer, “of course, I would love to!” 

You nodded, “great, I’ll see you later in that case.”

You started to turn around, feeling bad that you couldn’t stay and talk to her for longer since you knew being late to class wasn’t going to do your grades any favours, but was stopped when Amelia suddenly placed her hand on your shoulder at the last second, as if she had needed to work up the courage to do it. 

“Hey, listen…” She started hesitantly, “before you go, I just wanted you to know that I’ll stand up for you if people start treating you badly because of me. I’m not the type to just watch a friend suffer silently.”

You smiled at her thoughtfulness. Obviously it was too early to tell, but you had a feeling that Amelia was going to become a pretty close friend after today. Or maybe that was just something you wanted to happen and you were projecting. Either way, you had no issues with getting closer to the sweet girl standing before you. 

-

-

-

“You’re joking right?”

Namjoon stared at you incredulously, his eyes narrowing in that way that always seemed to make whoever his target was at that moment feel like they had a baseball for a brain. Hell, it used to make you feel like the dumbest person on Earth until you finally stopped letting it get to you. 

You were sitting in the same History of Magic 101 class as yesterday, except the size of the class had evidently decreased. Instead, the lecture hall was now only filled with 8 other students, male students, aside from yourself, just as Principal Park had explained. 

“The ability to control magic was completely absent during the Mesozoic era,” Namjoon continued to insist, crossing his arms over his chest. 

You sat back in your chair, mimicking his action with a raised brow, “tell that to the dinosaur bones that were recently discovered to have traces of magic in them.”

He scoffed, “humans are the only species with the ability to influence magic, so how could this ability have existed when humans didn’t?” 

Making sure to keep your gaze on Namjoon, you focused on your peripheral vision to study Ms. Kari, who was standing on the podium. To your delight, you noticed her hands placed frustratedly on her hips as she gave both you and Namjoon a look mixed with exhaustion and irritation. 

“And how do you know dinosaurs couldn’t control magic back then?” You questioned, focusing back on the man sitting a few seats away from you to goad him further, “it would explain the traces of magic found in their bones.”

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Cheonsa throw his head back in a muted groan before propping himself forward on his hands with a sigh. The rest of the class looked back and forth between the two of you, whether invested in the debate or confused by it you didn’t know. 

“The magic in their bones could have come from anywhere!” He argued, “it could have been absorbed from their surroundings or simply remnants of life magic from when they were still alive! Today’s animals lack the ability to influence magic, therefore it’s likely that the dinosaurs were the same.”

“Not necessarily,” you shot back, “perhaps dinosaurs became extinct due to their ability to influence magic while animals today survive only because they cannot? You ever heard of selective pressures, Namjoon?”

“Then what about-”

“This is the fourth time you both have broken into an argument after I asked a simple question to the class,” Ms. Kari finally spoke, interrupting Namjoon with a scowl, “I understand that you two seem to already have extensive knowledge on the class material, but these outbursts are disrupting my teaching.”

“If they don’t stop, I will have to start taking more severe action,” she threatened, making sure to look both you and Namjoon in the eye, “is that understood?”

Namjoon gave you one last look before turning to face Ms. Kari once again, “yes, Ms. Kari.”

“It won’t happen again,” you added.

But you lied.

It was definitely going to happen again. 

If Principal Park wasn’t going to switch your cohort, then you were just going to have to take matters into your own hands. See, if you were to keep causing disruptions in class, Ms. Kari would eventually have to take it up with the Principal. And since Principal Park would have to take action, but can’t kick you out of the school, he would have no other choice but to switch your class. He’d probably switch you to private tutoring, which you were no stranger to. 

All you had to do was argue with Namjoon a few times per class, which was beyond easy considering Namjoon’s unlimited ego and his constant need to prove himself right all the time. 

If everything went as planned you’d be out of here by the end of the week. 

But until then, you’d have to survive your classes the way they were at the moment. 

So you did.

The rest of the class went smoothly for the most part, aside from a couple more small arguments you started between yourself and Namjoon, until the bell rang and everyone began making their way to the next class.

You walked into the women’s dressing room, making sure to lock it before beginning to change out of your uniform. Your next class was physical education, which required you to slip into your academy-issued gym clothes. The gym uniform consisted of a white, fitted short-sleeve t-shirt that had been tailored to your exact specifications and loose red shorts that ended just below your mid-thigh. You decided to also pull on the matching red zip-up sweater, with the gold emblem printed on the lapel unlike the formal uniform, wishing that it would protect you from more than just a chilly breeze. 

You fixed your hair up into a ponytail as you walked out of the dressing room and started making your way out of the academy. The physical education class was to be held in the field in front of the school, so you stepped onto the grass reluctantly while scanning the area. 

The guys had already arrived, each of them wearing the same uniform you were while lounging around or just casually chatting with one another as they waited for the Professor to arrive. Some had opted to wear the sweater while others had chosen to discard theirs haphazardly at the edge of the field. 

You chose to stand off to the side, unable to stop yourself from sulking a bit at not having anyone to talk to. It sucked to be in a class full of men, but you reminded yourself that you just had to wait it out for one week. Then, hopefully, your plan would grant you some form of peace.

Too in your thoughts, you didn’t notice Yoongi had walked up to you until he was standing right beside you with his arms crossed over his chest. He stood for a moment, completely unnoticed by you until he suddenly spoke. 

“Stop that.”

You turned to him, gaze unintentionally falling on the black patch covering his left eye. It came as a surprise to you that he had approached you and started up a conversation considering he didn’t seem like the type to enjoy talking to others. 

“Stop what?” You replied, turning your face away to study the field once again. 

“You’re practically burning holes through everyone’s head with your glare,” he commented, “stop it, it’s annoying.”

You scoffed. What was up with this guy and always trying to tell you what to do? Maybe Jungkook was right and he really was some creep that was into that or something.

“If it bothers you so much, you can always just go away,” you said.

You could feel his gaze boring into the side of your head, making you shift uncomfortably before you turned to glare at him. He only titled his head slightly.

“You know,” he started, “Namjoon told us about your obvious hate towards our gender. Care to explain the reasoning behind such strong feelings?”

“No.”

He narrowed his eye, opening his mouth to probably prod you further, but to your relief you noticed the Professor stepping onto the field. 

He was a tall guy, maybe one of the tallest men you’d ever seen, and dressed in a dark grey tracksuit and black dress shoes. The zip of his jacket was pulled down halfway to reveal a white collared shirt and a neatly-made maroon tie. Everything about him seemed neat. His dark brown hair was trimmed and brushed tidily to the side while his gleaming black framed glasses sat on the bridge of his nose.

Without another glance towards Yoongi, you made your way towards the Professor alongside the other guys. You all formed a ring around him, waiting for him to start the class.

“This is Physical Education 101,” he said gruffly, “I’m Professor Son, but you will only refer to me as sir. Is that understood?”

“Yes sir!” You all exclaimed, and you couldn’t help but feel like you had joined the military.

“Now I know what most of your old high school Phys Ed classes must have looked like,” he said, eyeing each and every one of you, “they were seen as a break from studying, usually a period to waste time and have fun.”

“But from now on you can forget those days, because moving forward this class will take everything out of you. It will be merciless, just like the real world, so you’ll learn to suck it up, and hopefully, by the end of it, you’ll make something of yourselves.”

Mr. Son rested a hand over his hip as the other stroked his chin in thought. 

“Since today’s your first day, I’ve decided we’ll play a game of dodgeball,” he said. Then, as if a thought just occurred to him, he suddenly began to laugh, “hope you survive enough for your next class.”

There was something… scary about his laugh. While Cheonsa’s laugh had sounded like a warning, his just sounded cruel. But you were only playing dodgeball, how bad could it be?

When he finally let his laugh subside, Mr. Son waved a hand around, “now get into two teams, you’re old enough to do it on your own.”

At his words, everyone hurried to place themselves into a group as quickly as possible. Mr. Son was clearly one of the mean teachers, and no one wanted to get on the bad side of a teacher that already had it out for you. 

Since none of the guys really knew each other that well, the groups formed pretty much based on how close to each other everyone was standing. In a matter of seconds, groups of four students had formed on either side of you.

The only issue was that you had been standing mostly in the middle of the two, making you hesitate for a moment. With the groups already being equal, and you standing directly in the middle of them, you didn’t know which one you were meant to go into. But under Mr. Son’s scrutinising eye, you quickly shuffled over to the group on the right, barely paying attention to who was in that team. 

You unintentionally ended up standing next to Jungkook, who gave you a grin. He was one of the guys who had decided to discard the zip-up sweater and instead wore only the white, short-sleeve shirt with his red shorts. Under the sunlight you could make out an athletic, but toned, body, the thin material doing a poor job of hiding his prominent muscles. 

“You have a good eye, Y/N,” he said as Mr. Son turned away from the groups, “you’ve skillfully chosen the winning team, congratulations.”

Your gaze strayed from him to study the rest of the group. It was annoying that you had ended up in the same group as Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi, and of course Jungkook. But then again, joining the other group would have meant being teammates with Taehyung, Hoseok, Seokjin, and Cheonsa, who were equally annoying. Basically it was a lose-lose situation either way. 

To your left Hoseok, who was on the other team, snorted, but his expression was humorous, “sorry, what was that? Did you say the losing team? Because if so you’d be right.”

“In your dreams maybe,” Jungkook laughed, only for Mr. Son to roll his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, leave the trash talking for the actual game,” he said as he brought out his wand and directed it towards the centre of the field. A neat line of dodgeballs appeared from thin air, bright red and soft-looking under the sun.

“Though we’ll see how much you’ll feel like talking soon enough. Now get in position.”

The two teams immediately separated, walking to either side of the field before crouching over the white line outlining its edge. You opted to crouch beside Jimin, who gave you a quick thumbs up before refocusing on the dodgeballs in the centre of the field. 

Even though you didn’t care much about winning a stupid game of dodgeball, you couldn’t help but study the other team anyway. Hoseok seemed the most into it as he called out suggestions to the rest of his team for reaching the dodgeballs before everyone else, while Cheonsa just rolled his eyes at the effort. Beside him Taehyung seemed just as apathetic, but he seemed to at least be a little less apparent about it. Seokjin, on the other hand, seemed like he wanted to be anywhere except here. 

The difference in attitude between Hoseok and his team was almost laughable. 

The nine of you watched Professor Son walk alongside the sidelines of the field until he paused beside the line of dodgeballs. He brought out his phone, seemingly checking something, before he faced you all once again. 

“The game begins at the sound of the whistle,” he announced, earning him a few nods. 

“Three,” he began to count, “two”

“One.”

Mr. Son suddenly brought his wand upwards, flicking his wrist so that it rounded into a circle in the air. Not even half a second later the sound of a shrill whistle cut through the silence, as clearly as if someone had blown into one right beside your ear. 

“Begin!”

[getcozylove]

note: a yandere butcher has been on my mind but idk if i executed it properly though but anyways enjoyy

summery: you recently got hired at a meat shop seems harmless right?

cw: dead bodies, violence, cannibalism, you get threatened, blood, knives and implied murder just dark stuff in general so if you can't handle those stuff pls don't read <3

You recently got hired from a meat shop, and the owner was nice enough to give it to you without any background checks or anything. Maybe a bit concerning, but the paycheck shuts your mouth immediately, that much money for such a little amount of work was almost non-existent anywhere. Sure, the job can be a bit gross and gory at times, but who are you to complain? After all, everything was going smoothly until one of your colleagues told you to get them some meat from the basement. You picked up a bag and headed up the stairs before missing a step and dropping it all on the floor. You picked up the contents, but with further inspection, you noticed something... A HUMAN HAND!? You took a step back and started gagging, taking in the realization that all the meat you’ve seen sold has been human all along. “W-what the fuck is this place?” Your whole body was shaking, and your stomach was churning in all the wrong ways. The urge to puke was unbearable. Then the door clicked, and footsteps followed. Your blood ran cold. "Hey, what took you so long—?” The guy pauses, analyzing the situation before speaking. “Found out, huh?” he rummaged through the bag before pulling something out. A head. He hands it to you almost like he's handing you a present; you jerk back in response. “Y-your insane!” You look at the head, taking a closer look before recognizing it immediately. “Remember him?” The guy smiles almost taunting you. “That pig always had his grimy hands on you, now he's dealt with like one.” He grabbed other bags before dropping them as well, exposing more bodies. “All of them did,” you backed away even more, being hysterical and not being able to process this information. They were all friends or past partners, some were even family. “You made our customers eat them!?” he says almost instinctively, “those dirty pigs deserved to be eaten by those pathetic beings we call customers.” He walks up forward you, almost cornering you before whispering in your ear, “They seemed to like it too, no? We are the best meat shop in town after all.” You felt conflicted, he wasn’t lying. Customers complimented the meat all the time, and it was definitely the best in town, but that just made everything feel even worse. Your eyes just started to burn in tears. You didn’t know what to do... What were you supposed to do? Now you were just sobbing with this cannibal murder comforting you, it was gross. His blooded gloves holding you close, making your clothes damp, the potent smell of meat and sweat, his whispers of affirmations. All of it was disgusting because you could feel the blade pressed against your back.

[blushydrangea]

25 with planymphia? 🥺🖤

blossoming romance writing prompts: 25. finding comfort in their scent.

Jane knew something was wrong when she closed the door behind her. Everything seemed to be in place, yes, but she trusted her gut feeling when it came to Nymphia.

It wasn’t unusual for their shared apartment to be quiet whenever her girlfriend was left alone — infrequent, but not unusual. Nymphia sometimes chose silence even with her, after a draining day of work or maybe because her thoughts were too loud and she needed to put them in order before coming back to Jane. She would still look for her then and curl on her lap like a cat, answering all conversation starters with hums then nudging Jane’s arm for her to shut up, too.

A silent apartment shouldn’t be enough to worry, yet she still took off her shoes faster than her regular pace, clicking her tongue impatiently when she missed the coat hanger by half an inch and had to pick her jacket up from the floor.

“I’m home!”

Nymphia’s reply of “Jane?” came from their bedroom, and she found herself sprinting there within seconds. There were tears hidden in Nymphia’s voice, a slight extra whine she would recognize in her sleep coming from her girl, and it made Jane nervous. Her girlfriend wasn’t not a crybaby, tears came more naturally to her than they ever could to Jane, but she usually had a good reason to cry.

She found Nymphia on the bed, 80% of her pretty face covered by the red hoodie she had on, one that belonged to Jane and was a personal favorite of hers. Further inspection also showed Nymphia had stolen the blanket Jane wrapped around herself every night, because her girlfriend kept hogging the covers. It was pressed to her chest as if it were a plushie.

Their eyes met, Nymphia’s chocolate color dimmed with flicks of red from crying, her whole face puffy. Jane wrapped her arms around her and kissed the tip of her pink nose, satisfied when it made her girlfriend's tense body relax in her embrace.

She kissed her more, of course, how could she not? A gentle kiss pressed to her forehead after pushing her yellow bangs aside, followed by a peck to her lips and two kisses to her cheeks. Jane would have kissed her for hours, it was actually her plan after coming home from work, except Nymphia’s smile was faltering and she looked ready to talk.

“Can you tell me what happened, baby?” Jane asked in the softest tone she could measure, pulling Nymphia to sit fully on her lap. She watched her girl make herself smaller inside the hoodie and hide her face on her chest, inhaling deeply.

“My mom and I got into a pretty big fight on the phone…” she started, hot tears wetting Jane's uniform shirt. She didn't care. “It was my fault, of course. I can't expect an old lady to change her ways, it's me who should be patient and–��� 

“And you are,” Jane interrupted. “Your mom knows that, baby girl. She knows how much you care for her no matter the fights.”

Nymphia stayed on crying, so all Jane did was rub circles on her back and control her tongue. She found herself mere seconds away from telling her that crying over it would not fix a fight, and all she had to do was to wait it out until the next day, when she could message her mother and settle things for once.

If it were anyone else, Jane would have given that advice already, and probably would’ve felt pretty good about herself at that. Not with Nymphia, though, not the sweet, anxious soul she had. She felt things too intensely, couldn't handle not being able to instantly work through a tough situation. Jane had to be patient with her.

“I just wish I didn't lose my temper,” she whispered in a shaky voice after minutes of silence. Jane chuckled when Nymphia pulled a face, thankfully earning her another chuckle in return.

“Well, do you think you can fix it next time? Like, talk to her without losing your mind?” Jane asked in a playful tone.

A soft nod was her response. “There you go, baby. You just gotta wait for the next time you talk.”

Nymphia nodded again, and she took her hand in hers. 

“So, when are you gonna apologize for stealing my favorite hoodie and my blanket?”

The silly accusation made Nymphia laugh out loud, shrugging apologetically in spite of her smile. “M’sorry, they just… You weren’t here and they smell like you, so they make me feel a little bit better.”

If her heart skipped a beat at the adorable confession, it wasn’t anyone’s business. And if she blushed at the thought of her girlfriend needing her this badly, at least she could bury her face in Nymphia’s hair so it wasn’t visible.

“I can cover you in my scent now, if you’ll let me,” she replied quickly and wiggled her eyebrows, her second nature of keeping things unserious kicking in.

Nymphia kicked her leg as Jane’s hands flew to her waist, but when she spoke again, her voice gave away the laughter.

“Evil.”

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

I HAD RANDOM THOUGHT I WANT YOU TO EXPAND ON!! This came outta nowhere but won’t leave: imagine if you somehow casually made a joke about babies/ pregnancy (or just mentioned it for some reason) and Tan laughs and jokes it off like it’s nothing and then carries on, and you’re just so suddenly hurt by it?? And so you’re either snapping at him, leaving the room or harshly moving away from him/ not wanting to touch him anymore?? And you’re both confused and you’re hurt and he’s like “oh SHIT FUCK I GOTTA FIX THIS” idk how much sense this is making but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN (and that’s how you finally admit to Tan that you’ve been having baby fever, ahhhhh!!)

ME?? YAY I FEEL SO SPECIAL. did this on my phone, so apologies for bad punctuation. also your argument one is in my drafts xx

TANGERINE NOT REACTING WELL TO YOUR COMMENT ABOUT FUTURE BABIES.

omg?!? like you’ve been wanting to integrate it into convos but you don’t wanna scare him. so yes like mentioned, you point out something cute and baby related. maybe you’re at the shop, and you walk around the clothing section and ‘happen’ to stumble upon the baby section

you’d point out how cute and tiny the little baby clothes are, and how you can’t wait to buy some?? or how you can’t imagine holding something so small. and he’s like “bit of a long way off” and laughs (but not in a patronising way, like a nervous, awkward laugh) and he’s moving the trolley to get out of the section (bc gotta get lots of stuff and doesn’t want to be wasting time??) and you don’t know what to say, and it kinda feels like a gut punch. bc that’s how he feels, and you feel the opposite

so you go quiet for the rest of the time in the shop and in the car you’re quiet. AND to make it extra angsty you have your knees tilted towards the door! tan asks if you’re okay, and what’s the matter etcetc. you say how it’s nothing. you feel hurt but you don’t want him to know, maybe you feel silly for being so upset about a small throw away comment

AND YES LIKE MENTIONED you avoid him a little bit and there’s a bit of friction bc you’re being distant and snappy and moody??

and you’re confused why you feel so hurt about the comment. and he’s also confused by your sudden coldness towards him

and he’s trying to rack his brain to figure out why you’re so upset and what’s got you feeling that way. but he comes up empty. so then he retraces steps to the moment you went off on him. and then he realises his little comment at the shop may have set you off

so he kinda corners you bc he wants you to talk to him without you walking off or shutting him down. and he’s like “you’re upset about how I reacted to that baby comment, right?”

and you take a few moments and then nod

he’s like “and you’ve been off with me because you want a baby, and what I said wasn’t what you wanted to hear?” he’s got you all figured out

edit —

and bc he’s a communication king, he wants to patch things over and he’s like “I thought you were playing around. I didn’t know that’s how you really felt” and he says how in the past when you’ve mentioned baby fever, they’ve always been really passing lighthearted comments. so he thought it was the same again

and so you say how you’ve had baby fever, and it’s been a lot different to all the other times. it’s lasted longer and been more intense etc

so he’s like “would you like a baby?” and he’s trying to get to the point but in a gentle reassuring way. like he’s trying to solve the problem

so you say something like “yes. but the timing is not right and if you don’t then neither do I”

and he’s a cutie and he says something about how he’ll make time or that there’s never a right or wrong time etc blah blah. or he wants a baby if you’re the mother

OHHHMYGODD MAYBE!!?? the reason you’ve been even more upset about it is bc you already found out that you are pregnant!??? but haven’t told him yet!!!???!!! so you’re even more upset that he seemed to be against it. but maybe the hormones scrambled your brain so you felt like his comment was that of betrayal

[ivantillz]

find me;

ivantill, 4.1k, inspired by this post by @ivanttakethis Ivan returns - alive - after round 6 despite all odds but something is different about him. Wrong. Till is on his own to figure out what happened and how to fix it.

Till didn’t know how to describe what he was feeling – that wasn’t quite true; he had an idea. He was numb. He thought he’d been numb, before, but after watching Ivan die… now he knew what true numbness felt like.

He might not have expressed it enough, looking back. Just how much he appreciated having Ivan around. Maybe, he hadn’t even known yet how terribly empty this place would feel without him.

And now he would never get to tell him. He would never even get to talk to him again.

It was over, and frankly Till was too tired to keep fighting. It didn’t matter. His next opponent was Luka and he wasn’t naive enough to think he could win.

Strangely, he felt an odd sense of calm alongside the numbness. He was ready to go. He was ready to see if the aliens were truthful about this one thing, at least. Was there much of anything after death or just eternal darkness?

Nothingness?

Maybe that really would be better. To feel nothing. Be nothing.

Till heard a familiar bell; it was dinnertime. He curled up tighter, hugging his knees and closed his eyes. He wasn’t hungry.

-

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep when he was finally jostled awake. He blinked, once, twice, eyes having a hard time adjusting to the brightness of day.

When he lifted his head, he was met with the face of a girl about his age, dark hair and dark eyes. Unassuming. He was pretty sure he’d seen her around once or twice. They’d never talked.

“I thought you might, um.” She was wringing her hands nervously. Till shouldn’t care. He had given up caring about anything, especially whatever she was struggling to tell him.

He sniffed. “If you have nothing to say, please go away.” He just wanted to go back to sleep. Sleeping was the only time he didn’t feel completely hopeless. At least in his dreams, he wasn’t alone.

“I know we haven’t talked much or anything,” she continued, speaking just a little too fast, “but I thought you might want to see this. You, um. You were close to him, right?”

She didn’t say his name. She didn’t need to.

Till didn’t even bother answering. He just blankly stared at her. Apparently, that was answer enough.

“You really need come see this,” she said again, this time with more urgency.

Till frowned. He should just ignore her. He didn’t want to entertain whatever game she was playing.

“I’m serious,” she was fidgeting again. “Please.”

He could’ve ignored her, but he didn’t. Even now, he supposed his curiosity had a way of getting the better of him. Standing up, he winced when his back cracked and his knees popped.

She smartly didn’t say anything and just led the way. Till followed slowly. It was only when she stopped abruptly that he finally looked up, barely avoiding running into her.

“Hey,” he barked. “Watch it!”

She stepped to the side, opening her mouth, probably to retort, but he couldn’t hear anything over the rushing in his ears.

There, in the middle of a small crowd, was Ivan.

He didn’t even know what to focus on first – his hair, brushed back with a small clip on the side to keep it out of his face. His clothes, pure white and pristine. The smile on his face, warm and sweet.

But none of that mattered, really. Nothing mattered but the fact Ivan was here.

Ivan was alive.

Till didn’t even wait to see if the girl had anything else to say; he rushed past her and joined the crowd, pushing people out of the way. Some of them glared at him, some yelled, but he didn’t care.

He needed to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. He needed to know Ivan was real.

When he finally reached the center of the crowd, he let out a shaky breath and just stared. Ivan was really there, standing right in front of him with a confused tilt of his head and an unnervingly polite smile.

Then Ivan opened his mouth and asked possibly the dumbest question he could:

“Are you okay?”

Till felt anger rush to the forefront of his many conflicting emotions, red hot and burning. “Am I okay?” he repeated in disbelief, and suddenly grabbed the collar of Ivan’s shirt. Ivan blinked, but didn’t move to stop him. “You seriously think you can do all that and then just ask me if I’m okay?”

Ivan stared back at him with a familiar blankness before suddenly he was smiling, soft and kind, “I’m sorry,” he said, and Till couldn’t remember ever hearing him apologize, before. “I don’t know what I did but I assure you I didn’t meant to upset you.”

He reached up and gently touched Till’s hands, still clutching his collar.

“If you would let go, maybe we can go somewhere private and talk.”

Till blinked, once, twice, before suddenly letting go like he’d been burned, his hands curling into fists at his sides “You don’t know what you did?” he repeated, slowly, icily. “Is this some kind of sick joke to you?”

His heart was thumping in his chest too fast, too hard. He felt like he was struggling to breathe.

“I really don’t,” Ivan replied softly. It was unnerving, hearing him talk like that. “But I’m assuming I did something to hurt you, and if I did, I really am sorry.”

Till bristled, fists tightening. He could feel something wet in both palms of his hands; blood, maybe, from where his nails were digging too deep.

“You really don’t remember?” he asked, terrified of the answer.

Ivan smiled again; it was too sweet. “I’m afraid I don’t.”

“Okay.” Till swallowed, forced his hands to relax at his sides. “Okay.”

Without waiting for any kind of response, he turned and ran.

-

For a while, he isolated himself and just tried to figure out what had happened. Maybe some kind of head trauma? That would’ve explained the memory loss, maybe, but Ivan was acting like a completely different person.

Before he had seen Ivan again - before he had gotten confirmation he was still alive - he had gone over all the things he wanted to say to him, good and bad.

Now he couldn’t bring himself to say any of it. He avoided even crossing paths with Ivan for the first few days but then he realized something:

Ivan was avoiding him too. Not on purpose, it seemed, but somehow that realization was even more terrifying.

He used to do anything to get his attention - steal his things just to return them, start trivial fights, ask him to teach him about music (he never paid attention). Now he barely looked in his direction most days, too distracted with the handful of other contestants who were seemingly glued to his side.

Before, he hadn’t had any friends. Not for a lacking of trying - many people wanted to be friends with Ivan - but he had never even bothered trying to act interested.

Eventually they had stopped trying, of course, but now that had changed. It was like people could smell he was different, and they were right.

To make matters even worse, Till had overheard a few of Ivan’s conversations with some of the contestants. He wasn’t sure if Ivan meant it but when they would flirt, fluttering their eyelashes, pouting a little, Ivan would seem interested, smiling coyly.

That was possibly the most obvious sign something was very, very wrong.

Ivan didn’t do friends - not beyond what championship he had been able to forge with Till and Mizi, possibly Sua (before) - but he certainly hadn’t flirted with others.

He hadn’t even flirted with Till prior to their round, despite seemingly having some kind of feelings for him. Or maybe he had, but in unconventional ways. He certainly hadn’t been obvious about it.

(He wanted to talk to him - the real Ivan - understand what he really felt, but now he couldn’t. The Ivan of now apparently felt nothing for him.)

Could a head trauma do that? Till wasn’t educated in that kind of stuff; some of the others were, the way he was interested in music, but even they hadn’t had many chances to explore it with their limited resources. So when he asked, they simply apologized and said, honestly, “I don’t know. Maybe?”

He was grateful for the honesty but it had brought him no closer to figuring out what was going on, or how to reverse it (if that was even possible. He really hoped it was possible.)

-

Till finally reached a breaking point after Ivan won round 7.

(Since nobody had expected him to survive, and it was unprecedented, they had decided to add two new contestants to the lineup; one to go up against Till and one to go up against Ivan, extending the season to 9 rounds overall. The finale would make history as - for the first time - three contestants would go up against each other at once. Till really didn’t care about dissecting what that meant for them, in the future.)

Obviously he was glad he had won - he had been watching the broadcast with bated breath - but he had won by singing a new piece. Till felt an odd sense of comfort, hearing his voice again (maybe the only thing that hadn’t changed) but then he had started to pay closer attention to the lyrics.

And it was wrong. All wrong. Since when did Ivan sing of birds flying through clear blue skies, free and fearless? Of requited love, sweet and true?

It might’ve been his voice, but those weren’t his words. Something was wrong. Ivan was here, but he wasn’t.

Then finally Till made a realization. It was a working theory, of course, but at least it was a start.

-

It started with Till watching Ivan even closer (something he didn’t think was possible). He started to slowly notice other details that were wrong.

Just little things. Things that might not have been noticeable to other people. Like the way Ivan’s laugh was a little off (slightly too high-pitched compared to before). The way his eyes were brighter, now, but somehow lacking life at the same time.

Till realized he reminded him of a doll. Too happy. Too polite. Even Mizi - sweet as she was - hadn’t been nearly as perfect. It was unnerving.

Once - still testing his theory - Till had even spilled his soup on him during dinnertime. Just to see. Ivan had barely spared him a glance, a polite smile. “Don’t worry,” he had said before disappearing to change.

He returned with another white shirt. Laughed with everyone else at a joke that was objectively not funny.

That was when Till was certain he was on the right track. They had done something to him. It wasn’t surprising, in a way. They had experimented on Till many times before, after all, but this was different. This was Ivan; the pride and joy of the season.

It was risky to mess with him, but he supposed if it was that or his death, the aliens had weighed their options and decided this was the better outcome.

And truthfully, it had worked out for them. Ivan had gotten even more support than ever after his latest round; brands were lining up to work with him, he had a new interview being published almost every week.

But Till wouldn’t be so easily satisfied. Even if this Ivan was easier to deal with. Even if he smiled more. Till missed tussling and rolling around in the grass with him. He even missed the times Ivan would steal his things just to return them a few days later.

He missed Ivan, his friend, and possibly something more, one day. He still wasn’t sure; wouldn’t be until they could actually talk about what had happened on that stage. But either way, he would find a way to snap him out of this.

-

Easier said than done. Now it was hard to even get a moment alone with Ivan, seeing as he was always surrounded by people.

Finally Till did what he had to do (and he wasn’t exactly proud of it): he pretended to be hurt, and Ivan - this new version of him, at least - couldn’t resist the bait. He helped him to his room and stood there, seemingly unsure of what to do next. Till pretended to massage his ankle.

“Thank you,” he said, and a part of him meant it.

Whether or not this was the Ivan he knew, he still didn’t like him looking so lost. It was jarring, compared to the easy confidence he usually carried himself with. Before and after. The confidence had always been the one consistent thing across both versions of him, although it had certainly manifested in different ways.

Ivan smiled then, looking more sure of himself. That smile - bright and full as it was - still didn’t manage to quite reach his eyes. Till knew this was it. He had to take this chance and find out a way to reverse whatever they had done to him, if that was possible.

(It had to be; he didn’t know what he would do if it wasn’t.)

For now he just had to keep him here with him, separated from all the others.

“Can you sit with me for a second?” he asked, and Ivan didn’t even hesitate before joining him on the bed that felt more like a concrete slab with a blanket over it.

He even sat politely, hands together in his lap, back a perfectly straight line. He was still smiling. “Did you need anything else?”

Till hesitated for a moment, mentally scrambling for an excuse to keep him here longer. “My ankle really hurts,” he blurted, “even worse than before.” He paused, biting his lip, still thinking. Then he thought of it, the perfect excuse. “Could you maybe look at it?”

“I’m not sure I’d be able to tell you anything,” he replied despite already moving to the floor. Till watched, heart pounding in his chest, as Ivan gently touched his ankle, lifting his foot a little.

He should’ve prepared a bit more, maybe, because his ankle was perfectly fine. No bruising, no cuts. Still he winced, frowning. “It’s sore,” he said, pointing to a random spot. “Around here.”

Ivan nodded, softly running his fingers over the spot with pursed lips.

Till knew he should’ve been thinking more, formulating a plan. He couldn’t just keep Ivan here forever looking at his ankle, and he was no closer to finding out what the aliens had done (or how to reverse it.)

Until he saw it:

A ring, perfectly discreet, around Ivan’s finger. It wasn’t quite silver but an odd hue that nearly blended into the color of Ivan’s skin. Like he - or someone - hadn’t wanted others to notice it.

Till felt his heart beating a little faster. There was no way, right? Surely it couldn’t have been that easy. All these weeks - all this pain - had been caused by a ring?

“Your finger,” he said, voice thick. He hoped Ivan wouldn’t notice; he didn’t, seemingly, still focused on Till’s ankle. “Where did you get that ring?”

Now Ivan looked up. For a long moment he just stared before finally he blinked, once, glancing down at the ring around his finger. “It was a gift.”

Till nodded slowly. “From who?”

“I - ” Ivan stopped, eyebrows furrowing as he idly spun the ring around his finger. “I don’t quite remember, it seems.”

Till knew this was it. He was onto something. He slid off the bed to join Ivan on the floor; Ivan gasped, just a quick breath, gesturing at his ankle with eyes full of concern. Till didn’t know if it was real - his concern. He didn’t know what was real anymore but in this moment he liked to believe it was, as unfounded as it was.

“I’m okay,” he assured him. “I just, can I - ” How did he ask for this, he wasn’t really sure. Finally he gave up and just grabbed Ivan’s hand.

Ivan let him, even as his eyebrows furrowed again, watching as Till gently turned his hand in a few different directions. It was a simple ring, no stone or decorations. It was loose enough for Ivan to spin it around his finger with ease, but too tight to fall off by any accident.

“Do you mind…?” he asked as his fingertips brushed the ring. Surely it wouldn’t be so easy, but it was still worth a try.

Ivan blinked; there was something lost in his gaze, almost like he wasn’t quite seeing. Then suddenly he was pushing Till back with enough force he yelped as his back hit the edge of his bed.

“Don’t touch me,” he said, icily, as he stood and turned toward the door.

It was all wrong. The Ivan that had been, here, for the last few weeks would’ve never reacted like that. So aggressive and cold. That was when Till knew there was no other option: that ring had to go. Whatever was going on, it was clear the aliens had put in some kind of safety measure to keep Ivan from letting anyone take it off.

Whether or not it would magically fix everything was unimportant. It was a start, at least. Till scrambled back to his feet and grabbed Ivan by the arm, yanking as hard as he could. Ivan stumbled, for just a second, but it was enough for Till to get the upper hand he needed.

He spun them around and pushed Ivan onto his bed; he fell with a huff. Before he could fully recover, Till was on top of him, pinning his arms down by his sides. Ivan had always been stronger than him but thankfully with the element of surprise and whatever adrenaline was coursing through his veins it seemed he had managed to subdue him.

“What are you doing?” Ivan asked; his voice no longer had that icy coolness to it, but he was obviously still not happy.

Till squeezed his wrists, hard. “I know you don’t remember me or - or what happened,” flashes of that night on the stage, painful and sharp, played through his mind, “but I know you cared about me and I don’t know if you knew at the time how much I cared about you too.”

Ivan just stared up at him, unblinking. Till took a shaky breath.

“I wish I had let you known, before that night.” His eyes burned but he forced the urge to cry back, swallowing thickly. He needed to focus right now. “Maybe if you had, you wouldn’t have done what you did. Maybe we could’ve found another way. You had always been the smartest out of any of us. If anyone could’ve done it, it was you.”

Ivan finally blinked, his mouth pressing together into a thin line. Till couldn’t spend too long wondering if any of this was getting through to him. He just had to keep talking.

“Instead you felt like the only way to save me was through sacrificing yourself, and - ” It was too late; his eyes watered, blurring his vision just a little. “I was so mad at you, at first. I was so angry I was sick. You - ” Till paused, shaking his head, hard. “You had no right to do that. To decide for me what I needed.”

He paused, took another shaky breath. Ivan still didn’t say anything.

“I missed you so much, Ivan,” his voice wavered with each word. “I thought I was never going to see you again and I was so numb. I realized I cared about you, more than I ever realized and - and you weren’t even here for me when I needed you the most.” He sniffed, squeezing his wrists even tighter. “You selfish asshole.”

Finally Ivan opened his mouth to say something. His eyes looked shiny, glistening. Till didn’t even bother waiting to see what he had to say; he surged down and slammed their lips together so hard their teeth clanked together, sending a jolt of pain through his jaw.

Ivan made a small noise in the back of his throat. Surprise, maybe. Till used the moment to let go of his wrist and feel for the ring; as soon as he found it, he yanked it off without hesitation and threw it across the room. He heard the distant clattering and then Ivan was kissing him back with fervor, taking his face in his hands.

Till felt something warm in his chest - hope - as he shifted, deepening the kiss. He was almost afraid to stop, afraid that he’d been wrong and nothing would be changed. Afraid he was kissing a stranger, not the Ivan he knew and desperately needed back.

But finally he had no choice; he pulled back and stared down at Ivan, eyes half-lidded, mouth wet and swollen from the aggressive kissing.

“Please,” he whispered. “Please say something.”

Ivan blinked, some clarity seeming to return to his eyes. His tongue poked out, licking at the corner of his mouth where there was just the smallest spot of blood, probably Till’s fault.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and for a moment Till felt the world stop. He had failed. But then Ivan’s hands were at his sides, holding on gently. “I never even considered how you would feel.”

Till sniffed, waited. Didn’t want to get his hopes up too much.

“I can’t even lie and say I thought you wouldn’t care.” Ivan smiled, a small thing. It was nothing like the fake smiles he’d been giving for weeks now. “Because you’re you, and you care more than you let on.”

He didn’t even realize he was shaking until Ivan smoothed a hand down his back, trying to calm him.

“But one of us had to die up there, didn’t they?” Ivan’s hand stopped, low on his back. He let out a soft sigh. “And it couldn’t be you. I couldn’t let that happen.”

Till swallowed around the lump in his throat, almost too big to breathe. “You kissed me,” he said. It wasn’t an accusation, just a quiet acknowledgment. “You asshole, you kissed me and then left me here to try and pick up all the pieces by myself.”

He wasn’t really angry.

“And you just kissed me,” Ivan said, slowly. “Good way to distract me, hm?”

Till couldn’t do this. He couldn’t let things go unsaid between them, not after everything. What if something happened again? What if this was his only chance?

“I did use it as a distraction,” he admitted, but then, “I’d been thinking about it for a while.”

Ivan’s hand twitched against his back. “You had this plan for that long?”

“No,” Till answered truthfully before leaning down a little; their noses were only a couple inches from touching. “You should’ve told me, Ivan. Given me a chance to decide what I really wanted.”

Ivan stared back at him, unwavering. “You wouldn’t have chosen me,” he said with a confidence that sent a pang through Till’s chest, and maybe he would’ve been right, once upon a time, but things were so different now.

They could never go back and change the past, as much as Till wanted to, but the least he could do was be honest with himself moving forward.

“Maybe not back then,” he admitted, because he wasn’t fond of lying and it felt important to be honest here. “But I’m not the person I was back then, am I?”

Ivan gazed up at him with an intensity that made him shiver. “No,” he agreed. “I suppose you aren’t. Because you never would’ve gone through this much trouble for me, before.”

“I always cared about you, Ivan,” he replied, softening his voice, needing him to hear it. “I think I just didn’t know how much.”

Ivan opened his mouth, closed it. Till didn’t know what he was going to say, but that was okay. He wouldn’t push it. They had a lot to figure out over the next few hours - like how they were going to hide Ivan breaking through whatever the aliens had done to him, or if they even could hide it because Till didn’t want to risk putting the ring back on, or even where they stood as friends or more - but for now none of that mattered.

Ivan was back, he was here with him, gazing up at him like he used to, when he used to think Till was never looking (and he wasn’t, most of the time, but not all the time.) And Till knew he would do anything to ensure he never left him again.

[luveline]

I'm sorry to send you such a loaded question, but as a young adult, how do you stay motivated and... I don't know, do the things you have to do? Ever since I left high school, I've felt that it's hard to commit to anything, especially the things I have to commit to in order to have a future, because everything seems so monotonous and uninteresting and stressful to me; because I feel like I'm not capable of doing anything, of being competent.

Anyways, I love your blog. Your writings are one of the few things that make me happy on the worst days xx

that’s okay! I’m gonna try and answer you clearly !! cw for suicide mention

So first I want to say that I’m really sorry you feel this way! It’s quite a heart ache to feel uninspired or uninterested, or worse to feel like you’re not capable of doing things everyone else is doing. You deserve to wake up and feel happy and confident in yourself and your abilities! And I want to say I’m sorry in advance if this is not quite the answer you’re asking me for!

so, when I was around 18/19 (and well beyond those years, but this was when I was very done and defeated and, you know, crying myself sick every night if I wasn’t just laying in bed) I was in university, but I didn’t finish the year at campus, and I had to go home. I’m not sure if this is something I should be saying because it’s so personal but I just want to sort of be honest with you cos I don’t want you to think you’re alone in that feeling. But anyways I had to go home, I was really lonely and I just felt like I couldn’t do what everyone else was doing, like there was something wrong with me. I couldn’t cope with the kitchen, I couldn’t use the bathroom there, I didn’t know how to turn the heating on, couldn’t talk to people, couldn’t navigate the bus by myself, and I felt so pathetically stupid, I had such low self esteem for myself that I felt like I should kill myself just because I was so useless —I didn’t WANT to understand these things. I just didn’t want to do anything. And the reason I’m mentioning it is because while I don’t think it’s okay to assume these things of you, I want to emphasise that there can be a common link between feeling like you aren’t capable and a mental health issue! Of course, you can feel quite useless without that though, so not telling you that that’s definitely what you have going on but more wanting to say that if you think it might be useful, you can have a look at mental health issues and perhaps see if you’re relating to them. But beyond that, hopefully on the way to answering your question, is how I managed to feel more capable and how I now find motivation to do things I have to do.

I sort of had to do a reset, or a sabbatical! I’ve always been an upset person unfortunately, and I had a long few months where I didn’t do anything at all. I’m really, really fortunate that my mother let me stay at home while this was happening however reluctant she was, I can’t imagine really what I would’ve done or what could’ve happened to me if she didn’t let me stay there. I always thought about how she could’ve just turned me out and she probably wanted to, because for months I stayed in bed. I didn’t talk to anybody, deleted all my social media, and I stewed in how much I hated myself for not being any good at anything. I felt soooo stupid and so alone, and I probably cried myself to sleep every night wondering about my life and if I’d ever have the motivation to go on. There are still times now where I am intensely upset and unsure about things and what I’m capable of, but the difference between then and now, and the reason for my motivation I think, was that I was able to foster a need for something? I’m really so sorry if this sounds like total total nonsense, but I needed something. I wanted so badly for someone to “save me” from my not being able to do things, I spent a lot of time thinking about that. Like, how I could be saved. And then I strung out the middle man without realising I was doing it! It is very hard to go from having no motivation and no sense of self ability to then being confident, but I do think you can do it! I needed someone to get me a job and I ended up doing it myself, I needed someone to be gentle with me when I was sad so I started speaking to myself with a more kind inner voice and seeing myself as someone who didn’t need to be perfect to be good.

There was lots of bits of advice I tried to take on. Not all of it is kind to myself, some of it is though!! Like, for example, there’s a sort of parody of it now that says “I think you’re thinking about yourself too much” but one of the ways I stopped hating myself and instead started to believe I could do things and achieve was by thinking about the level of self obsession I was feeling to constantly think of myself. And I promise I’m not trying to say something hurtful to you, I absolutely don’t believe you’re self obsessed, but you’re also not incapable!! In a slightly more annoying take on your feelings, why can’t you do it if everyone else can? You absolutely can! I personally believe sweetheart that you can do everything I can, but you need more support, or you need to be fostered with some love. You are not incapable, you are not incompetent, you are a smart, kind, and important person. There is nobody else like you on the entire planet and I’m better for it that you’re here.

I apologise profusely if I’m projecting too much on you, I’m not trying to say you must feel exactly as I did years ago, but I think your ask really is important and I really want to give you an answer to your question because I know I felt exactly the same at some point. Working toward a future self I didn’t even like or believe in was boring. Nothing in me wanted to work hard or study or continue because I didn’t look forward to achievement.

sorry this is all so long! Hopefully this last bit is the actual advice you might be able to use. Beyond that wisdom about trying not to dedicate too much time to thinking of myself, there are lots of “rules” I tend to live by, in order to just keep going forward. For starters, you deserve to have fun. You deserve good food, nice clothes (not showy though you deserve those too, but nice sturdy clothing), a warm safe house, and you need to work for it! We defo deserve to work less for things but I keep going and trying to better myself because I know I need to do this in order to be comfortable. This will sound out of left field, because the focus of the book is not strictly motivation, but there’s a graphic novel called my lesbian experience with loneliness by Nagata Kabi that has stuck with me because she has this same sort of view as to feeling like she’s stuck in monotony, and there’s one bit in particular where she talks about doing things for yourself you might not do, I.e making sure you have underwear and socks that are clean and whole. I grew up poor and I’m not super rich now either, but since I read that, one of my priorities is having whole and clean underwear, and that did help me find the motivation to work or to study. We need to function in a way to maintain good standards for ourselves, and even if you have boxes of clean socks, there might be something in your life you can think about working toward! I throw away underwear or any clothes that don’t fit me right, and I don’t feel guilty about it when I would’ve before because I know that feeling well dressed is good for your heart. Does that make sense? To give yourself a good standard of life, you have to keep going. As well as that, another way I stay motivated to go on which I’ve talked about before maybe (not that I expect you to have read this) is my writing. I’m motivated sometimes to do things I have to if only because I need free time to think deeply about the things I want to think about. Also I love writing more than pretty much anything, even if most writers will look at what I’m doing and laugh or wonder why I’d dedicate so much time to some things in particular, because I love it. If I can make sure my rent is paid every month, that’s a promise I have a room to sit in every night where I can write whatever story I want! Another motivation is my ability to give bits of myself? It sounds ridiculous because I don’t genuinely believe I’m giving myself to people but to try and be a positive part of someone life is a good place to start if you feel purposeless. My relationships with my sisters are a tether for me and I’ve tried so hard and so much to make these relationships count, as well as with long distance friends, and recently ish I got back into contact with friends I couldn’t maintain relationships with when I was feeling down, and now my life feels very changed. I don’t live solely for myself, (though it’s okay if you do, because its hard and sometimes a lot of pressure to live for and around others) so that gives my life more purpose, and gives me more reason to do things I have to do. I also desperately enjoy this blog !!

I’m genuinely so sorry if this is all useless. I’ve been typing this answer since like 1:05 and it’s much later now, but it’s because it’s hard to describe to you the things that give motivation, because I know deep down how impossible it feels when you have none. I don’t expect you to read this and think aw jade you’ve solved it I’m fine now actually, I just hope that one thing in here can lend you an idea as to what to do next. If you’re struggling to go on, there are lots of options available to you in the UK such as the SHOUT text line for stress, depression, and eating disorders. They’re free to text and anonymous! I don’t think there’s one answer to giving yourself purpose, it is a very hard life and I don’t blame you for feeling incapable or bored or worried or anything you’re feeling, but I do for sure know you can do this, because I can do it, if that makes sense. Like I bet we’re extremely different people on account of uniqueness but also bet we have so many similarities!! And I certainly don’t mind guessing that you’re a loving, caring, person who deserves to feel more fulfilled. It’s my recommendation that you try to understand why you’re not feeling your best right now, that you talk to someone if you can, that you have some faith in yourself, and that you treat yourself with the same love and patience as you would any other person experiencing burnout! again I’m so so sorry if this is all rubbish. I’m forcing myself to stop now. So sorry if it doesn’t make sense or if half of this is completely unrelated to what you’re asking. I love you and I hope you feel better, genuinely truly ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Can I please ask for a yandere Poseidon with kianna komori

Like in this scenario she participated in Ragnarok without telling him

And while fighting her opponent she looked at them with this expression:

An expression that Poseidon never expected to come from her

And as

black butterfly started to emerge from her skin

And kill her opponent by poisoning them and watching them die and

The rest is up to you

By the way I did some adjustments to her character so I would appreciate it if you read it

I hope what I've done will improve her character

-Poseidon was gripping the sides of his stone chair to the point of shattering it, rage quickly taking over his body, as he watched you walk out to fight next for humanity.

-You little rascal, you sure liked to surprise him, don’t you? But he needed to get to you, not wanting you to get hurt, glaring daggers at your opponent, who was laughing, thinking you were just a weak little girl, as you didn’t look dangerous.

-Poseidon wasn’t upset with you, oh no- as you could do no wrong in his eyes, you just did things like this for attention, he was sure of it. Your opponent on the other hand, wasn’t going to walk away from this, as he had already pointed his weapon at you, threatening you.

-You then stunned not only Poseidon, but everyone else as well as your head tilted back just slightly, and an almost wicked smirk appeared on your lips.

-You looked so deranged, like you were practically feral, causing your opponent to freeze, not expecting the sudden, drastic change in your demeanor.

-Poseidon froze as well, he had never seen such a look on your beautiful face like that before!

-You lifted your hands and from the palms, black butterflies seemed to emerge from nowhere, creating a small swarm of about 100 of them, that slowly encircled your opponent who tried to attack, but his sword just seemed to go through the butterflies, like they weren’t really there, making him panic.

-Poseidon leaned against the landing he was on, watching with amusement, you were just full of surprises today weren’t you? He had no idea you could do something like this.

-The butterflies started getting closer to your opponent, enveloping him, covering his body, muffling his screams as they seemed to disintegrate into ash, revealing his charged and crumbling body underneath, the effects of the potent poison your butterflies were made of.

-Many were stunned but also terrified of what you were able to do, and Poseidon was impressed, seeing you so strong! He knew that you weren’t really much of a fighter, choosing to watch more than anything, but he felt a bit more at ease, knowing that you could take care of yourself if he wasn’t around.

-When he met you backstage, you were expecting him to yell at you for doing something so reckless like fighting in Ragnarok, but when he embraced you, pressing a kiss to your temple, telling you that he was proud of you, you couldn’t help but smile softly, enjoying the warm feeling in your chest at his praise.

-Your ‘punishment’ was to sit on Poseidon’s lap for the next fight, so you couldn’t run off and do something reckless again. You weren’t really complaining, mainly because he had ordered some cakes as well, which you were enjoying.

[samgirl98]

Mending a Family 36/?

Prev | Next

Sorry, didn't notice I hadn't uploaded this chapter to Tumblr yet. So here it is, late, but here

The New Year’s had come and gone. Jason had spent it with this family, including Roy, Raven, and Lian. They had watched the ball drop and celebrated the beginning of a new year. Danny had confirmed he wanted to stay in school, and Jason was almost finished with his car. Jazz had gotten better at sparring, and Ellie was getting bigger every day.

Life was good.

So why was Jason so depressed?

He tried to hide it from his family, but he didn’t think he was doing a good job if the subtle glances and frowns were anything to go by.

Jason stared at the clock. The green numbers read 1:13. He sighed and went back to staring at the ceiling. He felt a chill go down his body and added another blanket. Jason knew a part of his depression was his fire core being at odds with the cold weather, but he knew it wasn’t the whole reason.

Jason closed his eyes, hoping to fall asleep. He tried to ignore the heavy feeling on his chest. It felt suffocating. Time passed by, and he still couldn’t go to sleep. He sat up and looked at the time again. It was 1:49.

Jason decided to get out of bed. He shivered. Didn’t he have the heater on? Jason went to the kitchen and put water for tea. He stared at the distance, his mind empty, his emotions a maelstrom.

He was brought back to the present by the sound of the whistling kettle. He quickly took it off the stove. Jason stared toward the bedrooms, hoping he hadn’t woken anyone up. After a few seconds of silence, he sat down with his tea.

Jason stared at his tea, and, eventually, it cooled down.

Suddenly, Jason stood up. He had to get out. He had to…he had to go somewhere. He left a note to Jazz in case she woke up and found him gone, took a burner phone, transformed, and flew. Jason had a few hours before he had to take Danny to school.

Jason flew invisibly, not paying attention to where he was going. Eventually, he hit the border between the US and Canada. He sat on top of a tree overlooking a highway with a brown sign in the shape of Wisconsin welcoming him.

Finally, away from his family, he let his feelings loose. There was no one here who could sense his emotions, who could ask him what was wrong. That’s what he needed.

Tears trailed on his face, leaving steam as they evaporated.

Jason looked up. The stars were shining. He could never see a night sky like this in Gotham. Danny would love this. Maybe he should stay up one of these nights with his son and watch the night sky slowly change as it turned to day. With his ice core, Danny would fall for it.

Jason reached up toward the sky, his hand blocking the stars.

“Dad,” he whispered. Jason gasped at the sudden pain in his chest. It felt like something was breaking.

He hurt so badly. He missed his old family so much. Sobs started wracking through his body before they turned into screams. He wanted his son to meet his uncles and aunts. He wanted his new family to laugh, and cry, and scream with his old one.

Jason wanted his dad to see Danny and to love him. Jason wanted his father’s love.

He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

Jason would lose his son and his new family if he returned to his old family. They would see him as unfit and take what he had built away from him.

But, Ancients, it hurt to be away from one family. It hurt having to choose.

A despondent chirp left his lips. It wasn’t one of a parent looking for their child. It was a child calling for their parent. A chirp that fell on deaf ears.

____

Bruce groaned at the ringing phone.

He had just gotten into bed from a long night at patrol, and the last thing he wanted was to talk to anyone. But it was his private phone. A phone only his children would call. Without looking, he answered.

“Hello?”

No one answered. Bruce looked at the number; he didn’t recognize it.

“Who is this,” he growled. No one but his children and Alfred should have this number.

A breath hitched. Bruce sat up. He recognized it. By God, he knew it should be impossible to recognize anyone by just a hitched breath, but he did.

“Jay lad,” he breathed out.

Are you hurt? He wanted to ask. Where are you? He wanted to demand; I’ll get you.

There was a voice in the back of his head that sounded like Alfred told him not to.

“Dad,” Jason said, then there was a dial tone.

“No, no, no, no, no,” Bruce chanted as he called the number.

“The number you are trying to reach is no longer available.”

No! He had just had Jason on the phone, and now, now. He was gone again. Bruce raised his arm, ready to throw the phone. He stopped himself at the last moment.

Bruce had never given Jason the number, but his son somehow had gotten it. It was his only way to get in contact with Jason. Not to mention that he needed it for his other children.

This was a good sign, though. Jason had reached out to him. He hadn’t said more than one word to him, but he had called. Bruce had to cling to the hope that his son would return to him. He had to.

Bruce couldn’t go back to sleep. His thoughts were full of dark curls and a mischievous smile. He heard a sweet laugh echoing through his room. It was haunting.

Jason made it back home an hour before having to wake up Danny. He stood at his son’s doorway, looking at his peaceful face.

How could he have been so stupid to jeopardize his son’s safety just because he was feeling down?

Jason held on to him for a few minutes when his son woke up.

“Is everything okay, dad?”

“Everything is fine, chum. Everything is perfect.”

In the middle of the Wisconsin wilderness, a burnt phone was left smoldering on the snowy ground.

@itsberrydreemurstuff @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @skulld3mort-1fan @theauthorandtheartist @emergentpanda-blog @jaggedheart11 @fisticuffsatapplebees @booberrylizard @fantasticbluebirdfan @thegatorsgooseoose @cyrwrites @kjoboo91 @crystallicedart @amaramizuki666 @spekulatiusmuffin @meira-3919 @kilasmess @bubblemixer @lexdamo @wonderland-daisy @mj-arts-n-stuff @amyheart19 @dolfay @the-church-grimm @undead-essence @aph-mable @lizisipancardo @purrloin77 @writer-extraodinaire @charlietheepic7 @sinfulloccultist @nootherusernameworked @coruscateselene @chaoticchange @itsberrydreemurstuff @gmkelz11 @feral-bunny31 @paroovian @thatonegaybitch68 @d4ydr34min9 @overtherose @fandomwandererer @vipower001 @thordottir45 @blackrabbitt3t @rosecinnamonbun @bianca-hooks123 @epilepticnerd @dat1angel @consouling @flamingenchiladadragon @all-mights-asscheeks @ender-reader @fuyu-bitch @ravenswife

[justanamesstuff]

Chapter 8

Seasons

Matty Healy x f!reader A/N: two more chapters and we're done with this story...craaazy! as i've said i'm not too sure about this chapter but i hope you like it guys. Keep in mind that this story originally writed it during 2020/2021..I've made A LOT of changes but the core of the story is one. Anyway, let me knowww <3 Warnings: ANGSTTTT, mention of disease, typos. Word count: 4 K

MASTERLIST TAGLIST

< Chapter 7

Matty firstly felt the coldness of the morning before opening his eyes. Weather was all over the place, like his mind. Summer was around the corner, but the skies around England stayed grey and the wind cold. 

He moved, side to side, in the bed, groaning, because his head was pounding so hard. Why he drank so much the night before? A flash of images flew in front of his eyes.

He sat on his bed quickly, desperately. Matty felt dizzy, so he had to close his eyes again. The singer cringed at the memories. 

As fast as he sat up, Matty moved around looking for his phone. It wasn’t there to be found. The sheets engulfed him like a snake, making him end up on the floor with a big noise. That didn’t help his other achings.

Matty continued searching.

His phone was under the bed after all. Why the fucking device always ended up there? 

He unlocked it and his first impulse was to call Y/n. Matty anxiously waited, hoping she answered. She didn’t. The frontman looked at the time, it was almost lunchtime. How much did he sleep?

He dialled again.

The call ended up quicker than before. He tried again with the same result. Matty continued trying and trying, none stop. She was obviously avoiding him, he understood. Matty finally declined.

He just sat on the floor, staring at his phone on his right hand. He was sure she hated him by that point. 

It wasn’t like he thought he didn’t deserve her treatment, but Matty couldn’t think about it. He couldn’t picture Y/n not wanting to talk to him any more. Again, he deserved it, although it hurt his heart too much. Y/n was the love of his life, but first, it was his best friend, and he hurt her pretty much. Again.

Why did he keep hurting her when he promised not to? Why no matter how much he tried to be good he still managed to do wrong to her? He fucking deserved the treatment. 

Matty fidgeted with the phone in his hand. Should he call her again? She wasn’t going to answer. He didn’t seem it possible. 

What happened last night? Everyone was beyond angry or pissed with him. Matty was sure of that. He was angry at himself. He drove past the line by way too far. 

For what he could remember –which wasn’t that much–, Ross was disappointed, George ignored his bullshit completely –just for now–, Adam was furious and Y/n was another world to be explored. Her face would linger in his mind forever. The surprise, the pain, her sadness.

 He couldn’t help himself to think what Tom thought about it. What happened with Y/n and Tom after they left? They would probably be at Y/n’s flat, talking about her foolish best friend...or ex-best friend? 

Y/n was going to forgive him? He needed to know. He needed to talk to her. Pushed by the thought, he dialled again. The voice mail answered this time, and a couple of minutes later George opened Matty’s room door.

“Stop.” G said with a look that expressed more than his words, Matty analysed his friend’s face.

“What?” he placed his phone to his ear again. Fucking voice mail.

“That.” the drummer pointed to his phone and Matty understood right away.

“I need to talk to her.”

G didn’t hesitate saying, “She doesn’t want to talk to you right now.”

“I can picture why. But- I need to talk to her!” Matty whined.

“And tell her exactly what?” George said getting angry at Matty. The frontman looked at his friend without saying anything for a solid minute.

“That I’m sorry.” he looked down, embarrassed. George scoffed at his answer.

“You have to say way more than sorry to her...if you want her to forgive you,” he stated.

“I know. But- I need to talk to her.” Matty repeated like a broken record. 

“No.”

“You are not her.”

“But...she just texted and told me.”

A warmth woke up Matty’s body. “What?” he exclaimed. G said nothing. “Why is she telling you stuff? Why can’t she speak-?”

G interrupted his next words, “Because I don’t fuck her life all the time.”

“I don’t-”

“You know you do.” George exclaimed.

“Fuck you, George!” Matty shouted, standing from the floor. 

As fast as he managed to stand in both of his feet, he reached for new clothes so he could change after a quick shower. He had slept on his last nightclothes, he stank badly.

“What are you even doing?” the drummer asked, fearing his mate decided to storm off and run towards Y/n’s flat.

“I’m going to shower.”

“Why?” G inquired.

“Because I stink!”

“Don’t you even think about it.” G warned him, while Matty left his room going to the bathroom.

“Think about what?” the singer turned around.

G knew him better than believe his acting.“You know exactly what. She doesn’t want to see you at all.”

“I’m-”

“You’re not going to do anything, Matty.”

“I need to see her, to explain, to talk...I can’t-” he said desperately.

“You have to give her time.”

“You’re not her father!”

“I’m not. I’m her and your best friend. I don’t think it is a good idea for either of you to talk right now.”

Matty felt his eyes tingling with tears. “I don’t want to lose her.” Matty sadly admitted.

“I know, I kind of understand you. But- Hear me, please.” G dared to move closer, placing his hands on Matty’s shoulders. “You fucked it up pretty big last night. She is really hurt, and she didn’t even want me there.” George let him know a little bit more, just trying to make his best friend understand the situation.

“She doesn't want you? Fuck!” 

“Yeah, so...please stop calling her and don’t go. Wait for her to come around, okay?” Matty nodded, swallowing thick.

“Am I going to lose her?”

“I don’t know, Matty. You have to think about the risks of what you did last night before actually doing anything.” 

Matty only managed to detached his body from under G’s hands, entering the bathroom. 

He had to wait for her times. 

Once and for all he had to stop being the selfish dick he was. Y/n was the love of his life, his entire life almost since the moment he saw her stood for herself. She was worth the wait no matter if he died waiting. 

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The morning after the gathering at the boy’s house, Y/n woke up in the middle of her living room. Her back hurting like a b*tch, her neck very sore. She could feel the mascara that adorned her cheeks and the mess on her hair.

Although, nothing of her exterior could match what she was feeling.

Her entire body was cold due to the low temperatures, but not even sleeping without covers made her so stone cold as the pain in her heart.

She tried standing up slowly, her bones cracking at every move. Y/n reached for her phone on the coffee table. It was 10 am. Y/n didn’t believe she slept a single second because the weight in her eyes and the achings around her body were a sing of a tiredness she didn’t linked to a good night sleep.

Y/n unlocked the little device, no messages far from George and Adam asking how she was and some from the group chat before she and Tom arrived at the boy’s house. 

Tom

She already missed him. She opened their chat, readint the last messages about him apicking her up and loving words. Her heart sank on her chest. Y/n wanted him there to hold her and make the sadness go away. 

Y/n tried to call him one time, he didn’t answer. He probably was still asleep or avoiding her. Y/n didn’t want to be one of those people, but she looked at his last connection, he turned them off. 

Y/n moved around searching for a comfy place on her couch, chossing at the end the place she remember Tom sat on the night before. She curled in a little ball and started crying again. She needed his warmth around her, his contagious happiness. 

Tom was so right about her. She avoided her feelings for so long so when she had to face them, she had to face them all at once. That was painful so she preferred seeking the comfort of Tom in that case, who in reality was in excuse to not feel, to not go though her pain. He was so right about her..

She unlocked her phone again. She replied to George’s text with an emoji without expression and seconds after he was calling her.

“Hi.” she answered with a low voice.

“Hi, darlin’.” he said sweetly. 

“How are you?” she coughed trying to clear her voice.

“Fine, you?”

Her eyes watered again saying, “I don’t know.”

Y/n listened how G took in a sharp breathe. “Are you with Tom?” 

“No, he dropped me off last night and then he left…after we fought.” she told him.

“What happened?”

“I’m not so sure.”

“Did you guys bro-?”

“I don’t know. I mean, not officially but kind of.” Y/n started to cry a little.

“Oh, darling.” 

“It’s- I don’t know. I don’t know what to do or feel, G.” she whipped some tears from her face.

“Do you want me to go there?”

“No,no.” Y/n pushed her body up as if she could stop him even though he was kilometres away. “I- Don’t take it the wrong way but...I don’t want to see anybody right now.”

“It’s totally fine, love. Although, if you need anything let me know okay?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Do you wanna talk about last night?”

“Which part?” Y/n scoffed. “It feels like it wasn’t just one night, y’know?”

“Yeah, I can imagine.”

“I told Tom I used to have feelings for Matty.” she muttered out.

“Why?”

“I’m not sure. He asked about Matty and I- And I just told him.”

“What did he said?”

“Not so much, firstly he got angry...and then he was like done with the situation. He said he loved me, but then he left me.” Y/n chocked on a cry.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go there? I can promise you to make myself almost invisible. You know I can do that.” George offered again.

“I really appreciate it, but no thanks, G. I need to sleep and be alone for a little.”

“Okay. Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Good. Well, take care! I love you and I’m here if you need me.”

“I know…I love you so much.”

“You should date me, I’m less dramatical.” Gmade her laugh a little.

“Oh god, I don’t believe that…not even for a second!”

“Rude!”

“Bye, George.”

“Bye, Y/n/n.”

Y/n left her phone on the coffee table. She could feel the tiredness coming back. As she told George she needed to sleep and be alone. Y/n needed to wallow in her sadness for a little.

She believed she managed to sleep for an hour before her phone went off. Thinking the person calling was George she reached for it quickly, but she got disappointed pretty fast when the person’s ID was ‘Matty’. Y/n just looked at the screen, wondering if she wanted to answer or not. She was sure she didn’t want to talk to him.

He hung up, but then Y/n saw how he called her again and again. Every time she just declined the call. At the 10th call, she texted George asking him to make Matty stop.

Some part of her, deep deep down, wanted to answer and scream at him. Y/n wanted to shout and also asked him so many questions. Why he did it? Why he fucked her life so easily? 

Another big question was about what in fact he asked her last night. What does that question meant? Y/n really tried to think about it, but not even one idea that came to her mind made sense. Because as a friend, as her best friend, it was everything so childish. Also, the tint of his voice sounded so deeply wounded. No matter how much he had hurt her, she still worried about his feelings. Y/n felt stupid.

Y/n couldn’t even start to think that he had some feeling beyond friends. Like, two months ago he was deeply in love with another girl, and he never ever gave Y/n a single reason to think that he liked her excluding the first states of their relationship and little moments here and there. Was she so deeply into her own feelings and making herself believe that he didn’t want her when in fact was the opposite? ‘No,no, it was impossible. Was it?’  

With the events from the night before and the unknown state of her relationship with George, she didn’t want to go down that road. Because going there meant that all of what happened was about two stupid and so self-centred people, hurting others because they tried to maintain something that bloomed to be so much more, but they got scared, and they avoided it. Matty and her avoid talking because they feared losing each other when in fact they were doing exactly that.

Trying to distracted her mind, Y/n found herself reaching for the little device for the hundred time. She wondered about calling Tom. He said he was going to reach later or something like that. Maybe, she had to give him time. She knew that the relationship was over, the solo thought of that made her cry again. Why she loved the wrong man? Was he the wrong man? Weren’t they, Matty and Y/n, so perfectly bad for each other?

Three years with so many mixed feelings. Everything bad thing that happened, every fight, the people they hurt…everything because they couldn’t be enoughly grownups and face the fucking point. All with the stupid excuse that they didn’t because they wanted to maintain a friendship. 

They were toxic and they were stupid. Y/n knew that they had to talk but at the moment she wasn’t ready to even looked at his face. She wasn’t ready to the real talk they were going to have this time. Y/N knew that was going to happen soon but for the time being she needed her time alone.

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Two weeks later…

The weeks after the dinner were odd, strange, rare, uncomfortable to the top. The boys didn’t say much to Matty, that was even worse for him than them shouting how stupid he was. Meaning they were more than disappointed with him. 

George, Ross, and Adam treated Matty the necessary not more, not less. Even though he knew Adam was the angriest and he wanted to punch Matty, scream how stupid he was and more. The guitarist told him not to do it, but Matty never listened. The frontman acted like a child you tell not to eat grass and you’re 100% sure they are going to do exactly that. He somehow knew the consequences of his actions, he knew what he could do to hurt Y/n, to piss the boys, he knew and even though he continued with it. Adam was right to be angry.

The problem Adam had is all the promotion he had to do with Matty for the next album. Jamie and the label thought that it was a good idea to control Matty during interviews. Adam wanted bad to decline but everything was arranged and he wasn’t going to disappoint their management, the band, and everything he stood for just because Matty was a complete idiot. He would maintain the distances and just let Matty talk as it was planned. Simple. Or that was he thought.

Matty, on the other hand, was beyond anxious. Having to do interviews and speak about the record and the process when everything going on at the minute and the fact that he didn’t know anything about Y/n was driving him insane. 

He wanted to ask about her many times, but he was sure no one was going to tell him a single word. Matty couldn’t say there were sides, even though it felt like they were taking Y/n’s side in a way. He didn’t blame them, Matty would probably do the same. 

……………………………………..

Adam tried to do his job the best he could but at the same time, every interview felt like a never ending conversation. Sitting beside Matty, hearing him talk so normally and carefree boiled Adam’s blood. He loved his friend to pieces this time was something else. The guitarist acknowledged it wasn’t exactly his problem -in fact, it wasn’t, just Matty and Y/n’s- but he involved himself in some way. 

Adam’s prayer came quicker than he expected. One morning during a quiet time, a call interrupted his entire life. 

His girlfriend’s mother was in a bad medical condition and she was not only asking for him to be there, she was even demanding it. Adam being the good and generous man he was accepted at the same time he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs since he had to find a replacement. Ross and George were at the other side of the sea working on side projects. The idea of finding a personal assistant crossed his mind but with such short notice he didn’t had time to find one. He had to speak with Jaime and face the situation.

When the call ended, a repeated question filled his mind ‘what should I do?’ 

He pulled from his short hair thinking. Maybe, he could call George and beg him or Ross. No, he knew they were really busy and compromised with the work they had been doing. 

Suddenly another name was pushed into his front lobe. 

No, he couldn’t do that to her. Even though he was in a hurry, as soon as he could find someone he would be travelling to his hometown, to his girlfriend who needed him. He must found someone trustful and that one was Y/n. She knew how to manage Matty like no one else.

Maybe, he could just call Y/n and asked her. Tell her what he was avoiding Matty as much as possible while still doing his job. He felt selfish, although the situation was demanding him a quick solution. He didn’t lose anything to just try.

After staring at his phone for three solid minutes, he dialled Y/n’s number. He hoped she answered it. He prayed she answered but after a couple of seconds, the line died. Fuck.

Adam tried again and again, but every time she declined. Probably she thought that Matty was calling or something like that. He texted her instead.

‘Y/n, I’m Adam. I really need to talk to you. It’s kind of urgent.’

Five minutes later, Adam’s phone was ringing.

“Hi.” he said, breathless like if he just ran a marathon.

“Hi, what happened? Are you okay? Is he okay?” she asked fast and worried.

“Yeah, yeah. We’re okay, nothing happened.”

“Fuck, Adam! You scared the shit out of me!” Y/n exclaimed.

“I’m sorry.”

“Well, what was all the urge about?” 

“Okay, first, please know that if I had someone else to ask this to,  I would…please believe me.“ he explained.

“You’re scaring me again, Hann.” 

“Sorry, I just don’t know how to say, to ask this…and I know you’re going to hate me but please, I need this favour.”

“Please, said something clear to me because I’m so fucking lost.” 

“Here’s the thing. Carli’s mother is in a bad state and I have to be there, Y/n.“

"I'm so sorry to hear that Hann...but what does that have to do with me?

Hann took a big breath before just asking, “I need you to replace me as some type of personal assistant to keep Matty under control during interviews.” Y/n remained silent, making Adam panic. “Please, believe me…I tried to think about another good substitute but no one is better than you or knows him better.”

“Your compliments won’t work, Adam.” Y/n voice was sharp as a knife.

“I’m not trying to. I’m being honest with you.” she sighed.

“You know I can’t. Not right now.”

“I know you can. Hear me out.” He said when she protested. “I’m 100% sure that you’re not fine and with everything that happened you have absolutely the right to say no. Although, I’m 200% sure that you’re the most qualified person to deal with his stupid ass, and you’re such a professional, Y/n. I’ve been doing this interviews with him for two weeks and I almost didn’t talk to him. You can do it, and I know I’m being selfish…Carli needs me.” Adam’s state ended with a sob falling from his mouth.

“It’s too soon, Hann.”

“Yes, but…”

“How is he?” she inquired suddenly.

“I’m not so sure, I didn’t talk too much because he- “he started to say.

“He’s your best friend” Y/n stated.

“How could you defended him, after- Sorry, not my place. I- He’s bad, he’s moody and trying to focus on work, but it’s difficult. I know he wants to ask about you, but he’s retaining himself as much as he can.” 

“When am I supposed to be there if I accept?” Y/n asked defeated.

“Next interview is in three days. BBC radio 1.”

“For how long?”

“Probably until the end of the month.”

“Shit.”

“I’m so deeply sorry, Y/n!”

“Stop, I understand. I’m just doing this for you and Carli, okay?

“Yes, yes. I’m deeply thankful with you! I own you a big one.”

“So, I don’t have to be too much time with him?”

“No, if you don’t want to. You know the job, and I suppose Jaime, the management team, are going to tell you more details. I’m going to call him right away after we hung up, okay?”

“Fuck, I don’t know what I’m doing but…okay.”

Hann felt guilt filling his chest, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I know that I can walk away any moment I want.”

“Yes, that would cause a big mess but yeah.”

“And I’ll talk to him and clear this just a bit. I’m not ready to actually talk about what happened but just letting him know that I need to do my job and this time he can’t mess with me.”

“Yeah, I totally agree.”

“Fine. Then, arrange all this and let me know, ya’?”

“Yes. Thank you so much, Y/n!”

“Don’t worry. Please hug Carli for me and I’m here if you need anything else.”

“I will, I promised. I’ll return it somehow.”

“Don’t mention it, Hann.”

“So…how are you?” Adam asked.

“I don’t know really. These weeks have been…a lot.”

“I can only imagine.”

“Tom and I broke up.”

“Shit Y/n, I’m so sorry.”

“Yes..”

“Do you want me to punch Matty for ya’ before I go?” he offered.

“No, for now, let him be.”

“That’s a big risk.”

“Yeah,” she said sadly. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, worried but fine.”

“I get it.”

“Well, I gotta go now. I’ll send you the details, and again thank you so much!”

“Shut up, Hann. Go and support your family.” 

“Bye, Y/n.” Adam said, and she just hung up.

Adam ended the call with his soul aching a little. He didn’t know if he was making the right move, or he was making everything worst. He would have to wait and pray.

Y/n on the other hand was unbothered. Which was rare due to all she had to face. Getting the job was a big opportunity for her, but being close to Matty after everything was too much.

During those weeks she felt kind of death inside, at the same time she waited. For what? She wasn’t sure.

Nothing was sure and for the time being, she would focus on her work. On being the professional that Hann described, and she knew she was. 

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Chapter 8 >