#i wasn't even active in the fandom anymore not really

[lovvecherrymotion]

i guess i just need to talk it all out and try to make some sense of it. the GazettE are one of the most important bands in my life. they've brought me so many friends and so much happiness over the years. i was just 13 when i started listening to them and now i'm 27. they were such a huge part of my teenage years. they literally kept me going at some points of my life. their music saved my life.

i've always thought i'd get a chance to see them live one day - one of my biggest dreams was to experience flith in the beauty live at least once. and now i probably will never. and if i do, it won't be the same.

i can't believe reita is gone. just like that. he's gone. it feels like an old friend just passed away - someone i hadn't spoken to in years, but still thought of fondly. he was such a wonderful, talented human. i can't believe he's gone.

[aroaceleovaldez]

okay last one for the night but. honestly i really hate how the franchise has been using loyalty to Rick as a shield for so long. If Rick was involved in a project or not doesn't matter, especially not anymore.

ReadRiordan and the publishing for the franchise has been using this tactic for ages - they obscure if any writing related to the series wasn't written by Rick unless it's special circumstances. It's near impossible to find out who the ghostwriters are (Stephanie True Peters and Mary-Jane Knight). TSATS was promoted as the first time we got a non-Riordan (Rick or Haley) author working on one of the companion novels despite having seven already existing ghostwritten books in the series. The only reason Mark Oshiro was emphasized so heavily for TSATS was because they also work as a sensitivity reader for topics such as queer identity, and Rick had received backlash in the past for being a Straight Cis Old White Guy repeatedly falling into bad habits (that he hasn't broken out of) with certain characterizations that he kept doubling-down on or retconning into oblivion. The show emphasizes that Rick was involved, but the LA Times article brings into question exactly how much he was involved, and it doesn't even really matter either way. The ReadRiordan site actively avoids putting any writing credits on their articles (or art credits...) or anywhere on their site.

Practically the entire fandom unanimously agrees the musical - which had zero involvement from Rick - is the best adaptation of the series so far, including the TV show. Some of the best writing to come out of the series recently was the stuff ghostwritten by Stephanie True Peters (Camp Half-Blood Confidential, Camp Jupiter Classified, Nine from the Nine Worlds, etc). And yet when promotional stuff is posted about CHB:C, there's clearly coded language used to hide the fact that Rick himself didn't write it. Yes, that's how ghostwriters work, but at this point we should really stop pretending "Rick Riordan" isn't just a pen name for a group of authors like "Erin Hunter" and that Rick is actually writing everything in the series. I can easily look up and see which Animorphs books were ghostwritten, and who those authors were. I can find every "Erin Hunter" easily listed on official sites. And yet most people don't even know the Riordanverse franchise has ghostwriters at all.

And the franchise is still trying to use the "Tio/Uncle Rick" stuff. Author loyalty and marketing parasocial relationships isn't going to save the franchise when the author himself can't hold up his own original themes or even keep basic series bible details straight, and especially not if the editors are barely if at all doing their job. And please at least get a goddamn series bible by this point.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I (26, NB) dropped a long-term friend (23, not disclosing gender, I'll call them X) for being a proshipper, and now they're trying to get in the way of my other friendships.

A little more than a month ago, an old friend from when I was an itty bitty teen on the internet (we met when they were 12 and I was 15 or so) messaged me on twitter asking if we could share discord since they're more active on that platform, and they missed hanging out. Ok, no prob!! I missed talking to X and life was going kinda icky for me at the time. We exchanged discords and started talking more frequently, before we would talk through twitter dms maybe one day every few months, and we went from almost no contact to talking every single day. It was like being a teenager again; we still shared similar interests and we really fast clicked over old and new fandoms we were in. We talked about college and how they're starting to get the hang of their new job but needed support, talked about our family lives, etc., and in general I felt really comfortable and happy to be chatting again with someone I've known for so long. We were inseparable for weeks.

However... of course, as adults, and having known each other for YEARS, we started talking about fandom ships and fics we enjoyed. We didn't have the same taste in pairings, but that was okay. Until it wasn't anymore.

I shared my NSFW twitter with them, and they followed me. A few minutes later X told me, "I see you have "proship DNI in your bio, I just want to let you know that I am a pro-ship and enjoy some things in fandom that you might think is gross. I hope that's okay."

I was kind of weirded out, and told them that as long as they didn't like anything that would be criminal in real life, that's fine. They told me they *did* enjoy things in fiction that they "wouldn't condone in reality" and even though they "don't talk about it publicly" they still wanted me to know. For some reason. ?? Even though they KNOW that I have an irl history of abuse as a kid, they still told me this.

I was so fucking uncomfortable and really, really sad, and honestly I felt betrayed? I stepped away from my account for like, an hour before messaging them back and saying I didn't want to continue talking to them anymore. That I didn't know they were that kind of person and I'm not comfortable being their friend. I didn't read their response to me because I soft-blocked them.

While I was getting over that and trying to move on, a few days later I was talking to another mutual friend of ours when they asked if I was still friends with X. I got chills remembering how I broke off with them, and said no, we weren't talking anymore. That they were the kind of person that made me really uneasy and uncomfortable to be around. The mutual friend, I'll call R, said that X was "feeling kind of down about losing a friend recently" and talked about it in a discord server they share. X didn't mention my name but R wondered if it was me who dropped them since I was really touchy about boundaries online. I freaked out a little thinking about them talking about me, and asked what else they said, and R told me "not much, just that they felt sad but it was your choice in the end because you two were different" and I don't know why but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Were they trying to make people seem like I was the bad guy or something?? Idk.

I told R the reason why I stopped talking to X, and that X is a proshipper who likes things like inc*st and rape, and R wasn't as supportive as I thought he would be, saying that he understood how I felt but if X was being honest and open about their interests, it probably meant they trusted me and didn't want to "lie" to me. I don't understand how that's even relevant if X is a fucking proshipper. I don't want their trust in the first place if that's who they really are, and I felt betrayed that someone I knew for so long was hiding that for me until we were bonding again. R basically dropped it there and said "idk then" and I told him I was going to shut off my notifs for a bit. I really don't want to talk with him again right now especially since he didn't seem THAT bothered by X being a proshipper who's into really criminal shit.

Since then, friends of mine who are also friends with R (because he's a friend of X still, for some reason), haven't been replying to me as much anymore and I'm super sensitive to noticing these things, at first I told myself it was nothing, but there's an obvious decrease in our interactions. I can't help but think that X actually said bad stuff about me, and R didn't want me to know, or maybe X convinced R that I was a terrible person or something. I still haven't read X's reply to me because I genuinely do not want to interact with them ever again, but for the past few days I've been so angry and hurt by my other friend's actions that I can't help but want to blame them, since this all started when I left them.

AITA for dropping a friend because their interests made me SEVERELY uncomfortable? I don't know what to do.

What are these acronyms?

[thewinchestah]

"Good things come for those who wait" - Alastor x reader fic

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader

Tags: ,18+, Smut, NSFW, edging, BDSM, Alastor does what he wants, there's plot if you squint really hard, alastor in heat, breeding kink, Possesive! Alastor, Jealous!Alastor, Protective!Alastor, spanking,degradation kink, praise kink, Angst with a happy ending, fluff, I didn't proof read this, english isn't my first language, no beta we die like men here, etc etc etc

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Word Count: there's no point guys. I can't stop talking.

A/N: WOAH!! Hello everyone!! What the fuck?? I wasn't expecting my "debut fic" to blow up like that! Thank you so so much to everyone who took the time to read it and leave a comment! I'm truly flattered by your praise. So, I hope this sequel to "PREY" does it justice! (but it can also be read as a standalone). Let me know if you guys like it, and if you have anymore ideas/suggestions! I'm tagging everyone who asked me to, so if you want to be tagged on my next fics let me know! Without further due, here comes that mostrosity of a fic! Hope you like it <3! (UPDATE: PART 3 IS NOW UP!!)

Part I  | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Taglist: @smallershorteranduncut @markster666 @jyoongim @stygianoir  @pepperycookie @fraspent @aether-th3-enby 

It all started, as many things do, with a joke and a simple misunderstanding. Dying and instantly going to hell is not easy. Being in hell and not understanding why the FUCK you are in hell is confusing, frustrating and sometimes drawright ridiculous. There’s no guidebook for the hellish afterlife, and more often than not you felt lost at sea, drowning. Until you found your questionable lifeline, the Radio Demon. 

Somehow said demon clocked really early on that you were completely infatuated with him, but too scared to act on it. And oh, how he gave you enough reason to be infatuated, enough reason to be scared. Luring you into the most delicious trap, Alastor had claimed you as his. His to breed during the height of his heat, his to care for, his to inflict the most heavenly torture. 

Being caught up in the middle of the living myth that was the Radio Demon was a dangerous thing, you had been warned over and over again. So of course that you had to almost fuck everything up in the silliest way possible.

The obnoxious TV set, also known as Vox, had just started another round of his futile attempts to win Alastor’s attention by airing the most absurd reality tv character assassination ever. You would put money on the fact that the obsessive flat screen was a deceased TLC producer. Usually, any of his pompous i-hate-alastor-so-so-much!!! fits would be met with enthusiasm around the Hotel. Everyone would cramp in front of the TV and make fun of the entire ordeal. Even Alastor would tag along and make a private edition of his radio show while he counter-narrated that nonsense. It became a fun bonding activity for everyone involved, it was a nice thing. But there’s a reason why you can’t have nice things.

Today the Hotel was mostly empty:, only you, Angel and a very on edge, sexually frustrated, irritated Alastor haunted its posh walls. Still, you and Angel carried on with the little tradition sitting side by side in front of the tv not knowing what to expect from today’s “My Strange Addiction - Alastor’s Version” episode. It was truly a laughable attempt of a character assassination, actors who could not act saying things like “Alastor isn’t even as bad as everyone says, his torture tactics are not that special either. My mom’s aunt was tortured by him and was going to work 10 hours later”, “i walked down the street today and alastor didn’t even try to kill me when he saw me crossing the street, he’s all talk” “i have video footage of the self-proclaimed cannibal eating a chocolate covered strawberry. He’s cannibalbaiting.”

“no self-respecting overlord would go out wearing those ridiculous out-of fashion clothes”. 

Angel was having the time of his life leading the daily Vox roast session, the spider was funny and you couldn’t hold the laughs. The camera cut to a close-up of Vox, babbling on about technology and the anti-Radio Demon speech you knew by heart at this point. As if on cue, Alastor entered the room. But the pair of you remained oblivious to his presence. 

“Toots, you totally should apply for this show! I mean it!. I’m sure Vox will buy literally anything you say. Anything! If you say Alastor likes to eat red nail polish cause it looks like blood he would believe it! You laughed at his words, what a ridiculous thing to say. You loved red nail polish, alastor drinking it because it looks like blood is absurd. “I mean, look at you!! Look at this face, these eyes!! This body!!!” Angel gave your thighs a playful slap. “If you say hell is actually cold using all that i would eat it right up. Vox will be too busy staring at your boobs to notice you dropping that even the oldest radio looks better than that fucking flat face”. The thought that you were the mind-numbing type of beautiful made you laugh. Sometimes you felt like your friends were being way too kind with the flattery about you. You were nothing special at all. It was nice of them to be kind to you, adapting to your new lifestyle was taking a visible tool, anyone could tell. Their efforts were honorable and sweet, but you just couldn’t let yourself believe what in your heart, you knew was a lie. A beautiful, comfortable lie, but still a lie. You weren’t much, you were just lucky. You started to laugh even harder, out of pure nervousness as your brain started to snowball into all the things you weren’t. 

“ Seriously Angel, you have the strangest ideas ever!” you tried to sound normal, putting up a confident facade. That helped, a lot. You had picked that up during your days with Alastor. 

Speaking of the devil, Alastor wasn’t amused by your little display. Standing on the corner of the room as you laughed, he made himself known by walking out of the room, in hurried steps. If it were anyone else, they wouldn’t think much of it. But you weren’t anyone else. You were Alastor’s. 

And that’s why he was seething with rage. His rut always drove him, an already unpredictable man, to the brink of true, pure instinctual insanity. He had to grip his marvelous constructed self control painfully hard. Since your paths crossed, the most chaotic part of his existence seemed in control, your pretty little body always ready to take him, your eyes always holding his gaze in a maddening  comfortable way, the way you would push your limits just for him. 

Only for him.

And the worst part was your softness when it was all done. Alastor would fuck you rentless, for hours, making you take all the mess of his most animalistic desires without a second thought. Both of you would be spent, bathing in the afterglow, room smelling like sex, and you would ask him if he needed anything. Him, that just fucked you so hard so won’t walk straight for a week, that feasted on the blood of the love bites he inflicted, him that covered you in a painting of bruises. 

How could he not want to just lock you inside his lavish room and give you all the rings of hell? to carve his name deep into your soul? to dote on you? to make him the only thing on your mind as he makes you his time and time again in the most sinful ways?

It was simple really, why he was shaking with anger: how you, who was his, was even thinking of being in the same vicinity of that scum of creation?  LAUGHING AT THIS ABSURD CONCEPT. Vox thinking of you was already a crime punishable by painful death, but Vox looking at you was heresy, and the entirety of hell would pay for his transgressions. 

As Alastor stormed off towards the Hotel’s large room corridors, he took several calming breaths. Losing control like this wouldn’t do anyone any favors. In the troubled waters of his mind, Alastor could only think of 3 things: you, fucking you and murdering someone.

 So he didn’t even realize your hurried steps trying to catch up with his long strides.

“Hey sugartits! Don’t take too long doing whatever you need to do! there’s a woman going live after the break saying she saw Alastor eating an entire packet of PAPER TOWELS!!! HAHA! This shit is too good to be true!” you heard angel scream.

Adding insult to injury, nice.

Trying desperately to reach your demon lover gait, you could only think about how bad you had messed up. Alastor was your only true respite in hell. He was a blessing in a mist of the worst humankind could offer. He made you feel hope, more than making you feel alive, he made you feel glad you’re dead. The Radio Demon felt like coming home. You just wanted to make it up to him. You could not lose this, lose him. You were not sure you would survive it. And who knew where you went after dying in hell? 

It doesn’t matter where you go after hell, it doesn’t matter at all if Alastor is not there. Your brain added to your inner monologue. True.

“Alastor! Wait” you shouted. He stops dead on his feet.

Finally, those long long legs of his do not make chasing after your love any easier.

“Alastor, I'm so so sorry. Angel gets way out of line sometimes and I was nervous” he is perfectly still, ears pinned back, listening. But doesn’t say anything back.

“Al I’m truly sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, at all. Look, let’s try to do something to make your day better. I know how hard this season is on you, I know you feel like you are losing contr-

Uh oh.

oh shit.

You used the two forbidden words together. The temperature in the room drops, Alastor snaps towards you. You feel something gripping your throat mercilessly, as you fall to the ground. Looking at the other end of the corridor Alastor has you on a leash of his magic. Eyes burning red, forehead marked “x” he grips your chains hard, pushing you towards him.

“That was a brilliant speech, little doe. Truly marvelous! I’m sure your television debut will be quite the show you were planning!”

His antlers were growing, his demon form showing itself as he becomes taller and taller over you. All bared teeth and flashing red eyes. This is what everyone warned you about. Don’t get in the Radio Demon’s way, he is dangerous and insane. You will regret it.

Hot. your brain thinks. He pulls your leash even tighter, and you feel wetness pooling on your core.

“Do you have any idea what I was about to do before I heard you so selflessly offer your services to that pathetic excuse of a demon?” Dragging you by the magic chains, his towering frame comes down to meet you at eye level. You can’t say anything back, your brain short circuits and goes AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

“You know better than leaving me waiting for an answer at this point, pet” He grips your face using his sharp claws,the pressure threatening to break skin. “But you seem so hellbent on being a bad girl today, I shouldn’t expect your usually good girl’s behavior, should I?”

You are, once again nothing but a doe caught in the headlights of his eyes

“One should always know better than expecting their fantasies to be true”

His sclera goes black, only the tiny blazing red radio dials devouring you as he stares so deep into you, you feel feverish. 

“But since we are already here. I. Will. Tell. You.” static picks up around the room and surrounds you both, the corridor is illuminated by an eerie green light. You start to kinda fear for your life, but Alastor has you completely hypnotized by the radio dials on his eyes. You shiver in anticipation. 

 “I was coming to ask you, to please, spare me a part of your day, away from you friends. Because the only thing on my mind has been you. Fucking you. Sinking my cock so deep into your tight, wet cunt it would mark your soul. Because you are the only one who can take me like this, who deserves being bred by me, who deserves every drop of my seed”

You feel the wetness on your panties grow until it runs down your thighs. There’s nothing right about this, but your dear Alastor showed you long ago how the concepts of right and wrong are meant to be skewed.

“But oh well, you seem to have your affections directed elsewhere…” he tsks at you using that delicious mocking tone. “But, you can’t blame a desperate man for trying” he goes from 100 to 0 really fast, his voice softens so much in a way that’s almost too heavy to hear after all that. Even with his demon form still very much present  “Do you still want to make my day better, pet?”

you are at a loss of words, but you manage to nod desperately. The anticipation of what he is going to do to you makes you giddy. 

He manhandles your leash until you are on your knees in front of him, tugging on the chains so you look up towards his crotch. He makes quick work of his pants, pulling his cock out. Hard, angry hot red coloured. Angry because of you, angry for you. 

“Open wide, little one” and without much more warning, Alastor is fucking your face, hard and fast. 

You position your arms behind your back as quickly as you can.  You know how hard it is for him to be touched when his rut is peaking. The overwhelming need for relief mixing with his ever present desire for control. This is about him asserting his dominance over you, making sure you don’t ever forget where you belong: In the warmth of his burning gaze, under him, on your knees, while he merciless fucks your throat into compliance. He’s taking it out on you, and you fucking love it.

He’s not saying anything, only growling like he’s about to murder someone. He grabs fistfuls of your velvety hair, but never leaves the white knuckle grip on your chains. You can only resist the urge of playing with your pussy while he thrusts so deep you feel his monster cock. hitting the back of your throat. This is about him, and you want to give him this so badly your cunt is throbbing with desire

Tears wet your cheeks, your lips around his cock are the definition of renaissance art to Alastor. He’s almost over the edge now, the head of his cock twitches on top of your tongue as a warning of his approaching orgasm. It’s hard, it’s hot, it’s fast and it’s angry.

Alastor cums, you swallow as much as you can, but he takes his cock out and spills everywhere, coating your hair,  your face. It’s so deliciously erotic Alastor can’t resist catching some of his cum and running his hands throughout your velvet locks, bathing you in his essence, marking you once more. There’s still a bit of cum on the tip of his claw, he feeds it to you, and your lips wrap around his fingers as you take as much of him you can take, gladly. 

“Oh how beautiful you are when you ruin yourself like this for me, my little doe” You look up at him with adoration and a lustful gaze, his eyes hold an equally lustful gaze and… something more. Something that you are sure will drive you insane. 

Alastor notices the pooling mess underneath your tights, he knows how desperate you are for relief, but he still wants to self indulge on you. He’s certain you still don’t understand the reality of what he is feeling. Swiftly he topples you down the corridor’s carpet and places himself between your legs, his crawled finger tearing your lacy panties away. 

Then, he feasts on you like a starving man, and he might be, because you taste like the ambrosia of the gods and he can’t get enough of it. Of how you make a mess of yourself for him and there’s still something for him to take. You just taste so sweet, what a perfect meal your nectar makes. His wicked silver tongue polishes you, aided by your whispered sighs, his name moaned like a prayer on your lips. You are so so close, alastor sucks on your throbbing clit you are already seeing stars, all you need is a gentle push.

 Grinning like a devil, Alastor looks up, tilts his head, gives you the most wicked-and-douchey look in existence. He gets up, your leash dissipating into the air and walks away in perfect composure, like nothing happened. Nothing at all.

“Well, I think that’s my cue!!” he says in his usually chirpy tone. You just stay there, flabbergasted. “I just remembered I still have a lot to do today! Work never stops when you maintain a facility like this in tip-top condition!” Already halfway across the corridor, Alastor’s head turns towards you “Still want to make my day good my dear? Be a doll and clean this mess up, will you?” you just stare at him, too fucking stunned to speak. You can’t believe it. That fucking devil. He’s about to make the turn towards the elevator and disappear when his eyes flash red as he warns you “Oh! and don’t you dare make yourself cum without my permission. If you cum before I say so, you won’t be cumming for a week. Choose wisely!Let’s see who loses control first Ha Ha! This will be fun!”

 Alastor can be a psychopathic demon in heat, but before all that he still is a psychopathic demon who loves torture. 

And he just left you all hot and bothered. 

–

Alastor knew better than believing in such things as heaven or holiness. In fact, Alastor was positively sure nothing was sacred. The concept of sacredness was non-existent in his book.

But his skeptic mind danced on the edge of belief when he touched you. To be inside you felt heavenly, heavenly in a type of way that should not even be allowed in this place. The way your lush body burned underneath his wicked gaze was sacred.The way you always presented yourself to him, with selfless abandon was sacred. Somehow, someone allowed him, of all people, access to a soul he frankly didn’t understand what was doing in hell in the first place. He never was the better man. He was never giving that up.

In all of his nature, Alastor felt the most sinful pleasure in defiling your sacredness. He wanted nothing but to take the heavenly thing you were and taint it with his darkness. 

He was well acquainted to torture and had no shame in inflicting the most delicious and depraved type of it on you ,until all of your holiness was irrevocably marked by him, down to the core of your soul.  Of course Alastor didn’t buy your soul. He didn’t need to use those means to completely own you. He did it effortlessly, because you craved it. Because he craved it.

That’s why the thought of Vox even looking in your way was heretic, and not in a good way. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing you to Vox. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. Period. You were his.

 But adding that man into the equation just made everything more intolerable. The things he would do if he found out about you… Found out that not only you were his but how you could make someone feel. How precious and undeserving of anything less than good you were… 

You were made to be cherished and protected. Protected by him.

 In fact, it took all of the Radio Demon’s willpower to restrain from walking to the Vees building, and kill Vox for something he didn’t do. Because Alastor wouldn’t allow the thought to even cross his mind. All that, a messy display of his desperation and loss of control. Giving that prick the smug satisfaction of knowing somehow he got to him, in his last moments. 

Damn, his rut truly did make him on edge.

Suppressing his murderous thoughts, Alastor focused his mind into something he as actually good at: torture. Yours specifically. He still wanted to punish you for making him feel like this. He still wanted to make you understand.

And he just thought of the sweetest way to do it.

-

After cleaning up the mess on the corridor, and yourself (you did it all on autopilot, still trying to understand what the FUCK happened) you still had to give Angel a satisfaction about why you didn’t come back. You must’ve looked really miserable cause Angel just hugged you really tight and ordered you to bed. When in reality all of your efforts were now focused on masking your humiliating arousal. So you find yourself lying in your bed, trying not to think anything Radio Demon related. You’re totally not thinking about the way he looked at you while he fucked you. The way his eyes would search yours in a crowded room, winking playfully at you. An inside joke. A promise.The way you both playfully banter at the dinner table over silly things. You are also totally not thinking about how he takes you, how you love to hear him saying “good girl” to you after you push your limits again, only for him. Not thinking at all about how his cock fills you so perfectly, you truly feel empty without it. Who’s thinking about what hides behind his eyes when he his voice goes all soft in the middle of a rough fucking? Ha ha!! Definitely not you. 

You punch yourself with your pillow. 

C’mon don’t think thoughts of Alastor now…

You are so fucked, and not in a sexy way. The worst part is that you want to endure it, you want to be good for him. Your pussy is aching to be touched, your mind begging you to have thoughts of Alastor while your pussy is being touched. But right now you would give everything in this world to hear him praise you again. You know how hard his rut is on him… He already carries a lot alone, the Hotel, the doomsday clock of extermination ticking closer and closer everyday. Plus the other things… You know there’s something more, something that haunts his nights, but it’s not your place to ask. Hell, you are too scared to ask. You just hope, you just pray that when it happens you are beside him. You don’t ever expect the Radio Demon to ever ask for help, or open up. Or seek comfort. Oh, he’s anything but comfortable. But you like to think that in time, he would feel comfortable enough around you he could let something slip, a tiny detail to add to your “The Mystery of the Radio Demon” clue board. Something that would let you show him he doesn’t need to pick himself apart, carry all these burdens alone.

Great, you are doing amazing at the “not thinking any Alastor thoughts” game. 

You hug your pillow closer and look across you window as you start saying out loud a list of things you need to do around the Hotel. Maybe this will take your mind off the devil.

Tend to the Venus Fly traps of the gardens. (You could ask Nifty for the bugs)

Write the thank you letters to the new guests that agreed to help with hotel chores.

Tell charlie about your book club idea using cool flashcards 

It’s your turn to organize “Theme nights”, maybe Alastor would enjoy a “great gatsby” theme, right?

Great, Alastor again. You sighed. 

Suddenly a red note written with perfect penmanship flies next to your spot on the bed.

“My darling doe, I’m waiting for you in my chambers.

Don’t take your time, we have much to discuss.-

Yours, Alastor.

You take your time, though, to thank anyone who’s listening as you sprint towards Alastor’s lavish room. You feel dizzy, anticipation like butterflies in your stomach. You don’t have to knock more than once for him to let you in. 

He’s on the edge of the bed, looking like his normal self (as normal as it gets for Alastor)

The taps the spot next to him on the the bed

“Come here, you darling thing!”

you don’t waste a second, and as quickly as you are sitting on his bed, you are sitting on lap. Holding you close, in a vice like grip with one of his arms, Alastor starts talking 

“How was the rest of your day, my dear?” you open your mouth to start talking, you have so much to say to him. That you were a good girl, that you were ready to do anything to make up for laughing at Angel’s stupid idea of seducing Vox. You are ready to beg for your release. to ask how his day was. But you don’t get to utter a word. 

Alastor quickly and swiftly maneuvers you: now your feet are dangling from the bed, your ass and  legs sprawled out across his lap. A powerful arm locking you to him by the small of your back.

Holy fuck.

“Well my day was downright awful! You see I overheard my pretty pet laughing at the prospect of seducing one of my most infuriating enemies. I’m in the peak of my unforgiving rut ,and all I wanted was the shared pleasure of our bodies as I fuck the darling thing senseless!” he pinches the back of your thigh, hard. You blur out a soft, desperate sigh. 

“Of course, the good girl she is, she went begging for my forgiveness. I didn’t fully give it, of course. That was a harsh offense, what my little doe did. But I did have my fill with her” You try to spea-

Alastor audibly shushes you.

“I did leave her all hot and bothered after spilling my cum all over her maddening little body, of course. I contenplated murdering the bastard demon so he wouldn’t get a chance of even knowing about her existence and what she does to me. But I still suffered with the hellish need of fucking her into oblivion, and pondered a lot about divine justice. So, if I had to suffer this entire day because of her offenses I think it’s only right for that darling doe to get her fill of suffering and punishment hmmmm?

 You try to look back to his face, but you feel the familiar sensation of magic wrapping around your throat. The leash, you are so so fucked. You couldn’t be happier about it.

He tugs at the chain, so your skirt rides up and your ass is totally bare for him and your head is buried in one of his fluffy pillows. With a snap of his fingers your panties disintegrate.

You shiver at the thought of what’s happening next, a delicious sensation that flows across your back and ends up inside your cunt, beginning to turn into a wet mess. He’s gonna spank you like the bad girl you were. He’s not going to be gentle about it either. You can’t wait. It’s gonna hurt, it’s gonna sting, it will leave you bruised. It will be deliciously wicked, like all of Alastor’s punishments. 

You feel another surge of magic, behind the powerful green glow something materializes.

Your horsegirl days back on earth don’t let you down. You recognise it instantly. On his previous free hand he’s holding a riding crop. A big, leather pointed riding crop. 

He’s going to literally whip you into submission. You squirm inside his arm. You can’t fucking wait. You’ve made yourself come a few times after the thought of being literally tamed, broke by alastor. 

You whimper. Alastor’s laugh fills the room.

“So this is how this is going to go, pet. I’m going to whip you lovely ass like the ungrateful slut you are and you are going to thank me for it after every crack of the whip. I’m gonna do this as many times as I see fit. Until your ass is as red as my hair. Until you understand what you did. By the time I’m done you will be begging to be punished more. Are we clear?

You can’t look back at him, but you can feel how his red irises make your skin burn. You like to imagine that his eyes did the thing where they soften for a heartbeat, if you blink you miss it. Waiting for your permission, even now. You are able to muffle a “yes, oh please Alastor, yes”. 

“Lovely.” 

crack.

He didn’t even gave you time to process. The whip lands hard on the back of your left thigh. You let out a scream.

“Well?” he asks impatiently as he waits for your “thank you”. Seeing the way the spot where the whip landed turn a lovely shade of scarlet isn’t helping him hold his resolve either.

You wanna do this right, you need this as much as he needs it.

“thank-”

crack. the whip lands on your right thigh, a little lower.

“tha-” 

crack.crack.

 He whips you even harder, cutting the wind as it lands twice on your left buttcheek. Only four cracks down and you are a whimpering mess. You wiggle instinctively on his lap, seeking some friction, some relief. It hurts so bad, but it feels so good. You don’t know if you can take more. You want it anyway. “thank you, thank you” you whimper. Tears wet your face, arousal wets your core adding to the mess from before he even started.

crack. crack.

 He mirrors his movements to your right buttcheek. “thank yo- Holy fuck Alastor”

one more hit, now hitting both of your buttcheks. 

“I’ve told you many times before pet, there’s nothing holy about what I do to you. I’m gonna break you and then breed you. I won’t give you a moment of respite. And maybe by the end, when your legs are shaking from holding that orgasm you have been desperately chasing since this afternoon, I will be merciful and let you find your release. And we will know who’s really losing control here”

How can he do this to you with only his voice? You are not sure you’ve ever been so aroused in your entire life. You’re so wet, you’re staining Alastor’s pants. As close as you will get to marking him.

There’s a draft coming from the forest of his room, it softly kisses your abused skin, making it sting. You want to see the state of your lower body so badly. The way you’re submitting to him right now, the most sweet form degradation possible. Your eyes are clouded with tears, that line between pain and pleasure being blurred in ways only someone like the Radio Demon could cross. He tugs on your leash, to attract your attention from the sinful, unholy sensations you are feeling so openly, back to him.

Alastor drags the leather point of the whip across your throbbing cunt, collecting the obscene amount of wetness there. “By the 7 rings of hell, what do you have here? Are you such a slut that you are creaming at being whipped into compliance? I could do this all night long. Your ass is already red with regret for your actions but I’m not sure you learned your lesson yet.”

crack. The whip this time lands on your juicy cunt. Your hips trash with the sensation, your demon lover’s name escaping your lips like a prayer.You forget to thank him this time, despite your best efforts. 

“Are you so big of an ungrateful brat that you want this sinful punishment to continue? Not even bothering to thank me, in hopes it will end sooner. You know what you are. Nothing but a hungry greedy whore for the Radio Demon” 

crack, crack. One hit on each cheek. “But I already knew that” and with that mocking tone Alastor lands a  masterful final hit on both of your cheeks. He does have a way of proving his point.

You are fucking sobbing now. Tears coat your cheeks, now a colour so vibrant as the rich scarlet the covers your ass. Alastor knows everything that makes you tick. He knows how close you are to cumming. Cumming for only his masterfully inflicted punishment and his voice. Incoherent whimpers leave your lips “please please please” and soft “ohh and aaah, alastor”

He tugs on your leash again, he knows your body like the palm of his hand, and that you are probably entering the mind numbing phase of the pain and the pleasure. But he still wants your undivided attention. He has whipped you into submission, he still needs to fuck you into submission. 

“And you even made the mess of yourself stain my pants! My god, you are pathetic. Delightfully pathetic” 

Alastor gently runs his clawed hands across your ass, the sharp edges making you hiss. He looks in adoration at the masterpiece he inflicted on you. Your ass and thighs a shade of scarlet to rival his hair, the wetness between your thighs a heavenly invitation. Beautiful. Sinful.  Sacred. He will never forget this, and he will make sure that you never forget it too.

“Now, now, we are done with this my little doe” his voice goes extra soft because you can’t see him with your face buried in a soft pillow. “you were so good for me, you always are” 

The softness and sweetness of his praise makes you sob even harder. It’s maddening. 

He gently maneuvers you further into the bed, making space for himself. 

“But now I’m painfully hard, and I still need to bury myself inside that tight throbbing cunt of yours, so deep it will mark. your. soul.” static picks up around you, a delicious omen of what is about to happen. 

Alastor positions himself behind you, immediately entering you and bottoming out. 

His first thrusts are sharp and deep, as to make his promise of marking yourself from the inside real. He pulls your chains so your scarlet ass is presenting itself to him like the most sinful gift. 

Alastor picks up that breakneck pace of fucking, common to him, specially during his rut. He fucks you like he hates you. As hard as he possibly can, to make you know that you are his and his only. That even thinking of someone else, even as a joke, will not be tolerated. You wanted all of him didn’t you? You’ve made that clear, with words, with actions, with the things your body endures for him. So he makes sure to give you that. 

Moans drip from your lips in a crescendo, you are screaming now, you don’t know how long you will last. It feels so good. That delayed gratification drowning you in maddening pleasure. 

“Who do you think is losing control here?” he asks after a painfully sharp thrust. “Me, or the mess of a slut underneath me? That is screaming my name loud enough for the entire pride ring to know how she loves being fucked like a common whore for the Radio Demon,hmm?” 

One hand pulls your leash upwards, the other your hips. He’s even deeper now, you can feel him in your core.

You don’t reply to the question even though you want to, even though you know the answer. 

“Again, since you like being bred like that so much you are not hearing me” he takes all of his cock out and enters you at once. “Who’s losing control here? Me, or my little plaything with the scarlet ass from being whipped into compliance like the pretty little brat she is?” 

You don’t forget to answer him now, you need to cum, desperately. You withheld your building orgasm  for an entire day, you wanted to be good for Alastor. You wanted to be able to take everything he gives you. The pleasure, the pain, the sinful, delicious depraved torture. “Me, I am!” you scream out. 

Alastor’s pace is becoming erratic, you feel the shadows of his growing antlers cover you.

“Again” he tugs at your collars. Another sharp, deep thrust. 

“Me, i’m losing control” 

“And what are you?” his voice is filled with static now, he’s close too.

“Yours! I’m yours Alastor, yours to fuck, to break, to punish” you cry out in sweet pain and pleasure. 

Another tug, Another painfully sharp thrust 

“I’m only yours Alastor” you finish. 

“Good. girl.” he spaces the words out between thrusts, knowing how you relish in them. 

“You can come now” 

Your orgasm comes crashing down. You grip the sheets like a maniac, your legs shaking so hard Alastor needs to hold them in place. You scream so loud you are sure they can hear you in heaven. You hope they can, so they know. So they know this man owns you. So they know you love him. 

Alastor is not far behind, your cunt tightening around him like a vice. He fucks you specially hard and deep know, delayed gratification hitting all at once. He cums so hard inside you, he’s sure he finally marked your soul. The feeling of his cock twitching and spilling inside you, adding to the indescriptible sensation. You are completely over the edge now, you feel weightless, free falling. 

You know Alastor will catch you.

“Ah! There she is” you open your eyes and feel a soft kiss on your cheek. You are lying on top of Alastor’s chest, he cuddles you gently, making lazy circles on your hipbone but still buried to the hilt inside you. He still plans to give you all of his cum, all he has during his rut,after all. 

“woah, that was… amazing” you say after a while.

“Well, I did whip and fuck you to the brink of insanity my dear. And you came so beautifully for me, you passed out. You’re such a sight pet. I will never forget it.” you blush at his words. You feel so happy. 

Alastor kisses your cheek again, and with a final thrust he leaves you with a obscenely wet noise. You are dripping with his cum, it’s running down your thighs, staining the sheets. 

You whimper in complaint. 

“Ah ,don’t be like that” he laughs, is a genuinely happy laugh. “There’s still plenty of where that came from, but I need my darling doe to rest first” he says. He’s lying you gently on the bed as he gets up. “Don’t leave” you whisper. 

He’s out of the bed anyways, and seems to be on his way to do something. You don’t care, you want him back here, holding you. You don't want him to ever let you go.

“Al, i’m truly sorry about today. You know that, right?” You know that I love you, right?  You want to say, but you are scared that confession is a little much for today. You see where he’s headed now. He opens the bathroom door.

“Don’t even think about it, my dear. It’s all water under the bridge” he says in his usual chirpy tone, louder than the noise of the bath running. “Now you just need to promise me that you will never even let the thought of that pathetic demon cross your mind, my love”

my love.

“And if he ever does, you will let me know. So I can fuck those wretched ideas out of your mind” Alastor is walking back to the bed now. He picks you up bridal style and carries you across the room. You can’t help the hiss that escape your lips as your irritated skin touches him. “I know, I know my dear. We will fix that right up. I can’t have my favourite doe hurting. We still have a long way to go until the end of my rut, dearest” you don’t reply, you are just happy. perfectly happy. You could hear Alastor’s voice for days without complaining. “But you did look so perfect with that scarlet ass on my lap. Crying from how much you love what I do to you. I hope you never forget that” 

You both reach the bathtub, he drops you with all the care in the world inside the water.

“I’m so proud of you. I truly am” the water is warm. The soap smells so nice. He lit candles too. You give in to the soothing sensations. You might have tuned out for a bit, cause you hear alastor calling your name so softly… He says it again, slow, soft, gentle, pleading. As to catch your attention, he has something important to say. “You know how precious you are to me, don’t you my little doe?” “yes” you respond, trying to fight the tears that begin to spill down your face ‘

“Oh my darling girl, why are you crying? There’s nothing to cry about. You are here, safe with me. As you will always be, as is your place.”

“Alastor I-I-” your heart swells, you want to say something. You want to say everything you are feeling. How consuming, in the best way possible, your feelings are for him.

But Alastor is always 10 steps ahead. 

“I know, I know darling” he kisses your hand “I feel it too.” he says. It feels like a confession, it sounds like a confession. The look on his eyes is the one of that mystery that hides there every time his voice in the midst of your passion. 

When you,know you know. your mind reiterates. 

“Let me help you dry those tears. Save them for another day” He holds your face and kiss your lips. “The only thing you need to worry about right now is resting and recovering that luscious body of yours, as well as your brilliant, witty mind”

He hands you a sparkly fancy pink soap, and gets up to find the softest sponge he has stored. 

“Now, I hope you like the smell of these candles, cause I’m not letting you out of my sight for at least the next four days!” 

Alastor continues to chat away sweet nothings as he helps you bathe. Maybe it will take a while for the Radio Demon to say those 4 words out loud. He has enough reason for that, inside that beautiful, complicated mind of his. His actions always speak louder than words, your relationship was proof of that. 

Until then, you will always have sacred moments in crowded rooms, you will always have jokes that only the both of you understand. He will always keep sweeping you off your feet in the most deliciously wicked ways possible. 

Right now, you have him by your side after everything that happened, you have his heart too. You are sure of that. So you don’t mind waiting for him.

Good things come for those who wait.

[wachtelspinat]

i can't help but feel like my drawing days are kind of over. not entirely, i'll still be drawing from time to time. and deffo not because i want to. but i'm having this exact same feeling since mid 2022, since i was really struggling with my elective period, i kind of disconnected with art there and never truly found my way back. on top of everything that came after - moving, starting a job and working to be good at it which leaves such little room for other things because i can't handle my life well - there is just so much horrible shit going on. and i'm having a hard time comprehending it.

a part of me also feels very stupid for drawing one thing for almost 4 years now constantly, but another part of me knows "hey, but this makes you happy". it's a constant battle in my head because online spaces are like school grounds, and i don't actually wanna stand in the corner as that one kid that just can't shut up about that one character. but then again all i ever did was drawing fanart so... what does it. who gives a shit. be cringe and be free alright. but it kinda feels so hollow, esp. when you're at it for so long. a lot of mutuals move on. some are not even active anymore anywhere. and i wonder what happened. plus a huge chunk of the tone of the fandom has changed. also with the source material getting butchered so hard (since the release of ow2) it just kills the fun. playing this game used to be fun. playing this game was one thing that helped me getting through the last meters of university. it's like watching the downfall of the simpsons again without making the comparison too set in stone, just... this thing that used to be decent and nice and watching it getting ruined in real time (broken promises about pve, the recent gameplay changes?? the lore was fucked up from the start but they kind of tried, now it's just skins for 20+ dollars) while still having feelings for the characters is shit. anyway...

i recently went through a big folder of stuff i'd drawn at the age of 12-15 and there were so many fucked up but cool monster and cyborgs designs and just silly stupid stuff and all i could think of was that i felt so distanced from it, like i don't even know i think this is normal? because a lot of time has passed and a lot has happened and i knew i've drawn all this but i wasn't able to locate the person who did in my present me now and... it's just so normal that things move constantly forward but i feel like i missed huge chunks and passed a few stops and now i'm kind of lost.

i don't even know what i'm trying to say here anymore. i just feel sad because it feels like sth is slipping out of my grasp or sth has changed tremendously and i don't know how to make damage control.

i keep trying tho, i try to draw once a week at least. it's just like as soon as i take a step back and look at it i don't feel it at all. gonna continue tho, until it makes sense again i hope.

[serene-faerie]

I didn't want to post this kind of discourse, but it's something that I genuinely can't ignore anymore.

It's no secret that the Silm fandom has a lot of problems with its standards for female characters. I've noticed that a lot of heroic female characters like Lúthien, Elwing, and Idril tend to be criticized and bashed on quite a bit.

But I've also noticed that there are three female characters that hardly anyone bashes. In fact, some fans actively like to pit these characters against other female characters by making them the hype-men of the Fëanorians.

(I apologize to any mutuals who happen to be Fëanorian fans. And this isn't to say that these female characters are terrible because they're connected to the Fëanorians, but these are just my observations. I still think they're wonderful characters on their own.)

First is Nerdanel, the wife of Fëanor and the mother of his sons. And with the Fëanorians being so popular in the fandom, of course she would be an automatic favorite. It also helps that she doesn't play a huge role in the events of the First Age, which gives fans the freedom to interpret her character however they wish. And despite the fact that she and Fëanor are separated following the Darkening of Valinor, Nerdanel still remains a favorite among Fëanorian fans.

Next is Aredhel. She's not only besties with Celegorm, but she happens to be the mother of Maeglin, the creep that fandom loves to woobify. People also sympathize with her for her tragic death, understandably so. However, there are people who will claim that she would've wanted Celegorm to rape Lúthien as revenge for her abduction by Eöl, never mind that neither Aredhel nor Lúthien even knew each other. Some fans will also have her sympathize with Maeglin for causing the fall of Gondolin, ignoring the fact that Maeglin betrayed the city because he felt entitled to Idril, Aredhel's own niece, and that he actively tried to rape her during the city's fall.

The third one is Haleth. I've noticed that Fëanorian fans really like to ship her with Caranthir, mostly because he helped the Haladin fight off a bunch of attacking Orcs. This is despite the fact that Haleth wasn't interested in living on Caranthir's lands as a vassal. Instead, she took her people to Brethil and lived freely in the domain of Elu Thingol. Nevertheless, people like to compare her and Caranthir to Aegnor and Andreth, sometimes making fun of them for their tragic separation and claiming that neither Haleth nor Caranthir would be as "foolish" as them.

What do these three women have in common? They have a connection/interaction with the Fëanorians at some point in their lives. So these women are just used to uplift the Fëanorians to the detriment of other female characters- particularly the creeps like Celegorm and Maeglin.

Which, in my opinion, is a huge disservice to their characters.

All of this is to say that Aredhel, Nerdanel, and Haleth deserve better than to be reduced to Fëanorian hype-men. And Lúthien, Elwing, and Idril deserve a lot better than to be pitted against other female characters.

[tickety-boooo]

S1 final camera angle

Ok I literally JUST woke up for the day and this is what was in my brain: the gomens brainrot runs deep. I have to write it out and I shall from the coziness of my bed on a rainy morning :D This is gonna be a longish one!

Been thinking about this thanks to @vidavalor's post. As a fandom we know that Crowley and Aziraphale always position themselves the same way: Zira on the left, Crowley on the right (from our pov).

But wait! What about that final scene at the Ritz? It ends with a zoom-out of the two continuing their conversation: From Behind.

Why did they film this perspective? It's odd given that the rest of the scene is shot from the other direction. It breaks the 180-Degree-Rule, which is a "rule" in filming that prevents confusion for the viewer about where the characters are and what the action is in the scene. If there's an imaginary line between two characters, the camera cannot pass over that line when filming because then the pov changes.

This zoom-out is an example of a "Reverse Cut", it's literally the opposite of what we've seen for the rest of the scene. So why? They could have zoomed out from the table in the other direction, maybe sending the camera through the window for a cool effect.

This is shot this way on purpose. This is like a private viewing for the audience. We aren't in the audience's position anymore, we're in Crowley and Aziraphale's position. The two continue their conversation, which we cannot hear, so it's still a private moment for them even though we're getting a glimpse of it. I have to go back and watch again to really find examples but I think this is the scene that confirms the idea that when in private, Crowley and Aziraphale break their position rule (whether through them physically moving, or by way of the camera and how the scene is filmed), implying that it is something they do for public appearance. Like with this scene, they're still obviously sitting down and in the same place, but now the audience is welcomed into their pov for a moment. We are now part of the positioning outwards to others.

@vidavalor wrote about a footstool near the couch in the bookshop that would put Crowley on the left (in our pov), and that's one of the earliest scenes in the show between the two of them where they are completely in private. Here are some more examples I can think of off the top of my head/ what gifs I could find to use xD

Calling out specifically any time they're in the car; Aziraphale never drives, so Crowley is ALWAYS on the left (our pov), and it's always a private moment between them, no one else around. Look at the scene where they arrive at the hospital and how they get out of the car. They both specifically walk to re-position themselves on the "proper" side. (I can't find a gif of the whole bit but this scene here:)

This scene also has a brief bit where they switch positions again; they're reminiscing about a personal memory, 1941 and the magic show (even though the audience wasn't aware of it yet before s2).

Actually the whole bit at the hospital is very involved with camera angles (it would merit its own post at some point for sure.)

Calling out the Wall Slam™ Crowley on the left, Aziraphale on the right, UNTIL they are interrupted by someone else and the scene is no longer private, and the camera flips position for the rest of the scene.

Also Rome. Oysters. This one's odd, there are two very brief reverse cuts in this scene.

And lastly, this key shot of them going to their respective offices. This one stands out to me because it's not a "private" moment between them, but it shows that their "public" position matches how they have to arrive at Heaven and Hell. Aziraphale and Crowley actively go out of their way to position themselves relative to one another in public in such a way to face Heaven and Hell. And in this shot, we get to be a part of their pov. We get to be on their side.

[anxious-witch]

I wasn't sure if I was gonna make a post because I drifted in and out of fandom in the recent weeks, but considering the amount of edits and meta analysis I did immediately after watching the show, I really wanted to say something.

I don't get into shows often and I don't remember the last time I got into a show that was so new and so active. Partially bc I am aware of cancelations and partially because by the time I find enough will to watch a show, it's definitely not new anymore.

Dead Boy Detectives was different. I think I watched it a week after it came out and it absolutely blew me away, how much effort, detail and care was put into this show. As someone who (ocassionally) writes myself and who spent 4 years in art hs where we had to analyze movies and series from storytelling perspective, this show had one of the best written storylines and characters arcs I have seen in years.

And it didn't stop at that! Color symbolism, little hints and easter eggs, height comparison that changed based on character's mental state, the acting just....everything was so carefully done. I don't remember the last time I picked up on sm things to analyze in a show.

Knowing we'll never get a second season of that breaks my heart. Especially because, as briefly intense as I was in the fandom, I saw so many talented and kind people in it. So many fantastic analyses, gifs, fanart, fics etc. I do hope they keep going, despite the show being canceled.

I know we are all feeling disheartened, and we all wanted a season 2, but the best I can offer is the same thing I used to comfort myself-characters and the story are ours now. And we can tell that story in however many ways we want. If they won't give us the conclusion, fandom can make it, 100 times over.

The fact that the show is so well loved that is at all possible speaks volumes already. That is someghing even Netflix cannot take away

[naughtybg3confessions]

The blog is on hiatus- oh no!

Why?

It is with a heavy heart that I must admit, this blog does not really reflect my interests anymore. BG3 will always have a special place in my heart, but my hyperfixation has faded, and what was once a labor of love has become just a labor. I have a lot going on in my life, and my energy needs to be focused on real life now instead. This experience has been interesting, and I'm happy so many people had so much fun with it- friendships were forged, laughs were had, self discoveries were made- all fun stuff! And I will always cherish that part of it, and appreciate all the support and enthusiasm my followers had in keeping this a positive and compassionate community space.

What will happen with the blog now?

For now, the blog is going to be inactive indefinitely. There is a slight chance I will resume my duties someday, but I doubt it. I am open to a worthy successor I could hand the torch off to- if someone wants to become admin of this blog, I might consider that. If someone wants to start their own blog from scratch, I'm happy to donate my screenshot files to give them a head start. I would also consider giving them the unposted confessions I have left, although I'm not sure if you all would be comfortable with them being posted on a different blog? I'm also happy to give pointers and insight on what works and doesn't work with running a blog like this. If someone is interested, feel free to dm @bananastarion . If no one wants to take the helm, I might post the remaining confessions in text form just so they still get to be seen.

What about the discord community?

Since that takes less effort to run, the discord community will remain, but it will remain private.

And with that, I'm sorry to ruin the fun out of the blue like this, it definitely wasn't an easy decision to make. I'm sorry I never got around to implementing all the plans and activities I had in store for you. But this is the right decision for me. I hope we can respect and understand that. So long folks, even if this blog doesn't continue, the spirit of it remains burning bright in all of you throughout the fandom. Keep on being yourselves and let that freak flag fly. The blog will remain as an archive for a little slice of time when people from all around the world came together to uh... come together.

And with that I say, so long and thanks for all the confessions. <3

[myfandomrealitea]

That post you made about Harry Potter and how to not financially support and fund the franchise and put more money in Joanne's pockets felt like a lie because I swear I got the impression that even that wasn't allowed when the whole thing started

To be clear; I stopped. Completely. I compartmentalized it all and just stopped interacting with anything Harry Potter online whatsoever. But I always wished it would be fine to still be able to do certain fandom things without supporting her, but people were saying that even using the tag or reading the fanfiction or making fanart was still supporting the ip and not letting it die completely as a topic on the internet was indirectly putting money in her pockets.

It wasn't until I came across a post from a queer woman from somewhere in the global south with heavy OCD and intrusive thoughts or something like that, commenting on how hostile of a thing it became for someone of her affliction; the way people were treating it like do or die. Pointing out that no matter how much trans people and allys cut off their support of her, she has other large means of income that we won't be able to touch, and there will still always be transphobic homophobic Harry Potter fans that will continue to support her actively, putting that money in her pockets. Another thing she mentioned was the treatment of Harry Potter and Joannes bigotry in contrast to the treatment of FNAF and the creators bigotry. And lastly something about the USAmericanized nature of it? I don't really remember that part but I think I understood it at the time I read it (maybe it was something about all the other countries the IP is popular in who are probably more conservative and unaware or caring of the issues with her who will still put money in her pockets, or maybe it was something about American fans fixating and posing the support of her as the ultimate battlefield of Trans Rights to other queer and trans individuals trying to be quiet fans who are facing Much Worse in their countries)

Anyways after that I briefly started reading ao3 fanfic again, just put a filter for anything before 2019 or so, and then my interest more gently fizzled out.

I can't remember what my point is anymore, maybe just to bring these arguments to your attention(also I am not arguing against the financial boycott or ending of support for this woman through her ip).

Harry Potter will never stop earning money. That's just the flat reality of it; I mean, look at the likes of Elvis and the original Sherlock Holmes books and every other 'dead' media that's still earning money. Short of making Harry Potter an illegal piece of media, yes, there will still always be a number of people giving her money.

The goal is to give her less money. To turn Harry Potter from a prominent, profitable cashcow into a defunct piece of media that only select groups are still clinging to. To make it so that JK Rowling has to choose between paying her bills and funding anti-trans movements.

When something stops bringing in a certain amount of profit, studios start looking elsewhere. When a cashcow starts drying up, they stop trying to milk it as hard. Which in turn means less productions for JK Rowling to collect her pocketmoney from.

What would you rather; JK Rowling getting $100,000 or JK Rowling only getting $10,000?

Something is better than nothing. Damage reduction is better than open exposure. If everyone just rolled over and gave up because "things will keep happening anyway" the world will literally be a rancid, fetid wasteland of bigotry and violence.

I'd much rather watch JK Rowling fizzle out into a bitter old wench sustained only by the dogged support of other stubborn bigots than watch people willingly disregard and condone bigotry because its "easier" and "she'll be a bigot anyway."

I'd much rather JK Rowling only have $10,000 to donate to shitty movements over $72,000. Shitty movements can do a lot less with a lot less money.

[didalexiabreakupwitholgayet]

Hey! What do you think of this? https://x.com/ankarapina/status/1781796327107579986?s=46&t=TM02JkXw_k67T8T7luEbTg

Mariona had such a bad game and this picture makes it look worse. It just seems like she doesn't care anymore because she's not coming back next year..........

okay, anon, listen. i'm not trying to criticize you or this twitter user per se, but everyone needs to take a collective breath.

i've been a fan of barça when we used to lose a lot more frequently. and you know what? it wasn't the end of the world back then, and it will not be the end of the world now. we pick ourselves up, we learn from our mistakes, and we move on.

but what we don't do is throw active players under the bus and question their motivations for no reason. the world of futfem/woso is really small and 10 years from now, when these players are long retired, what remains are the relationships. these are professional players who can give their all on the pitch. sometimes that just isn't good enough on a the day. or sometimes they just play like shit! but that doesn't mean that they shouldn't act cordial and professional and friendly with their colleagues and friends, not to mention exes and current gfs!

here's the picture at issue. i don't see much of a difference between this and the frido/aitana pic during the world cup after sweden's heartbreaking loss (frido literally postponed her surgery so that she could play the world cup! that's how much it meant to her)

erin cuthbert is mario's ex. and frido and aitana are besties. do i question either of their motivations on the pitch for being part of the losing team? hell no! these are grown ass women who know how to be professional on and off the pitch.

i mean heck even aitana was hugging and chatting with cat macario after the match today.

as much as i love our fandom, one thing i find really distasteful is the propensity for a small but vocal segment of this fandom to throw players under the bus for the dumbest of reasons. it's like grow the f up.

finally, i've been following mariona for a number of years now. her entire career has been up and down with injuries, but the one thing i don't question is her motivation and love for the club. /end rant

[merakiui]

MERA!!!! I have no one else to ramble/rant about this to since I fear it's a pretty uncommon experience, but have you ever read a wonderful piece of work by someone who unfortunately ended up deactivating/leaving most socials? ;ª;

There's this one darker Tweels fic called "Aphotic" currently listed on ao3 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/27124492/chapters/66236443 link for good measure)- which if im not sure if you've ever read, but oh. My. God. It's such a great fic that really hits the spot for darker content of the tweels. The characterization of Jade and Floyd are absolutely my favorite in this fic as they're just *incredibly* mean to the reader but in a tasteful way. Bonus points also go to how the author wrote the mc(reader) as well, everyone in this fic is just equally fucked up and reading through this story is just one incredible rocky ride..there are only two surviving chapters and one of the two is Floyd focused, but I don't wanna spoil the main plot of the fic for anyone that may be interested in reading just please take the warning that when I say the tweels are mean, they are MEAN..

unfortunately the fic is not only unfinished but as I mentioned earlier, in a devastating turn of events the author of the series completely deactivated D: they were also on tumblr once I think they went by twstedworks? But there's no longer any way to see any of their works on this platform anymore which is just so unfortunate,, I get an intense feeling of past-felt-fomo knowing I wasn't able to see any of their other stuff while they were an active writer knowing that they seemed to be active in 2020(?) Which was a time I wasn't really reading any written works for twst... but regardless of whatever reason they chose to leave the platform I do hope they're doing well now.

I'm sad that I'll never be able to see the jade centric part of Aphotic, or be able to see any of their previous dribbles or works since they've all been completely wiped. I have followed good yan/dark twst writers and blogs in the past that have deactivated or moved on for whatever personal reason in the past but it does really suck in this case not being able to at least, in the slightest , have been able to experience other stuff this author may have wrote which im sure was delightful orz...

Reminder to readers and consumers of fanfic on here to always show support and motivation to your favorite writers!! You never know when you'll never get the chance to read anything from them ever again :( and thank you esp Mera for being one of my favorite twst blogs of all time on here!! Your interpretations of the tweels have always been my favorite from any blog and the way you choose to write these characters in general never disappoints ✨️

If this does get answered, being as this is my first ever formal ask, may I be 🪆 anon? Or 🍮🥄 if that's taken ^_^

Hi hiii, 🍮🥄 anon!!! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

I know that experience... >_< it's happened to some of the stories/authors I followed. It's always so sad when writers deactivate/leave the platform or fandom/etc, but everyone has their reasons. I can only be grateful I was able to behold such enjoyable works!!! :D "Aphotic" sounds like such an interesting story!! I love mean tweels. <3 I'll have to check it out!

I think I've read some writings from twsted-works before they deactivated! It was so long ago (before I even had a tumblr account), but I remember adoring the way they wrote Octavinelle. I hope they're doing well wherever they are!!

And you're so right!!! It's always important to show support and love to artists, creators, writers, etc! Most, if not all, writers love to receive feedback on their work. Even something like a keyboard smash or a dozen heart emojis is very flattering to us because it shows us that you've enjoyed the work. Whether you show that enjoyment by commenting, liking, reblogging, or sending an ask on here, it's always lovely to spread appreciation for the hard work and time that goes into crafting wonderful stories!!! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

Thank you so much for your sweet words!! I'm just happy to be able to write and share stories!! It's a huge honor you would consider me one of your favorite twst blogs. I'm beyond flattered!!!! ♥️✨

[senanatheskenana]

Sorry if this is weird but I haven't seen anything like this before but could you maybe do some sort of headcanon for genshin characters with a s/o that had a cryptic pregnancy. Like they leave for one day or come home after a couple hours and s/o is just like "yeah I didn't know" while holding a newborn. Again sorry if it's weird

Sure, this sounds super interesting! Also sorry if this took a while i haven't been as active recently but ill try to get more into the fandom soon <3

(Ill only be doing the male character since the nature of this would be a little hard to plan out for the female characters, hope that's ok)

Genshin Men Reacting to Cryptic Pregnancies

Kaeya

Kaeya looks at you like you're crazy. He legitimately believes that you've just picked up some newborn orphan to baby-trap him without getting pregnant.

Well, at least that's what he believed until he saw what the tiny child looked like up close.

There was no room to deny that the child looked strikingly similar to him; dark blue hair and tan skin. The only difference between them was that this tiny baby had your eyes.

And as his tiny fingers grab the air in front of Kaeya, he becomes increasingly aware of what has happened.

You were pregnant for nine months. You gave birth.

And he wasn't even there when you did- he was drinking like his social life depended on it at the tavern.

"I'm a terrible husband," he laughs, incredulous of himself.

He couldn't turn such a child away, even if he wanted no children. It would be obvious who had fathered one of the two blue-haired people in Mondstadt.

Diluc

Diluc is at a loss for words.

He doesn't doubt you, he's known you so deeply that he can see in your eyes and in your body that you've been through something.

So when you hold the tiny infant out towards him, he carefully takes her into his arms as if she were a treasure so valuable he could not bear the idea of tarnishing it.

He presses her warmly against his chest and looks at you in such a way that you know he is not at all upset with you. In fact, he then looks away and places a triad of light pecks on her short red hair.

"I wish i had known" he says ruefully- and for a moment your heart sinks as though you think he was disappointed in such an outcome.

"If i had known sooner, we could have prepared a nursery"

Venti

Venti isn't quite sure whether he wants to run away from you or towards you.

It wasn't that he didn't like you anymore, or that he didn't want children.

He simply worried that he would not be a good parent, staying late into the night in bars playing music and over-drinking. He could see those days flying away from him in the eyes of the child.

But still, he could not harbour resentment for such a young, uncomprehending thing. Something that depended on him so greatly- far greater than any normal mortal had ever depended on him as an archon.

No, to him this was special.

He thought about it. Yes, his days of drinking every day were behind him. But something new would soon replace them. He traded wine for a son who loved him like no other would.

Venti surely had never planned on this, had he known you were pregnant he would have tried harder to break his ugly habit of day drinking.

But what is done is done, he thinks.

Now he just had to raise a child. How hard could it be?

Albedo

He sums it up as a curiosity, rather than sentimentality. He admits that yes he loves you, but this thing, surely he was only keeping it alive- feeding it, burping it, changing it- to satiate his curiosity of how it came to be in the first place.

Firstly, he was under the impression that he was infertile, let alone thinking you were pregnant. It simply wasn't something he accounted for.

But you see it differently to him. You can see that what Albedo is denying as intrigue was really paternal love. You weren't quite sure whether he was trying to deny it, to keep the child at arm's length, or whether he was just dense. That wasn't something anyone had really associated with Albedo.

He supposes that, in a way, the baby was rather cute. It abstained from taking on many of his attributes, which he found himself thankful for. If he was honest, the baby was more similar to you in appearance. The only thing he theorised may be a piece of him showing was the fact that the child seemingly could not take their eyes off of their surroundings.

Its a gradually thing, a feeling that develops over weeks of caring for it. What started out as wonder at how it happened slowly melded into the realisation that he no longer cared, and the point was that it did happen, and he was content with that answer for once.

Xiao

Xiao very nearly drops off the earth after you show him the child. It could not be his- or yours- he's sure he would have been able to sense the pregnancy if you were.

The weeks after are filled with worry and Xiao's absence. He sits atop the roof of Wangshu Inn, looking out at the city in the distance, wondering if you and, by extension, 'your' child is still there.

He's desperate to take another glance, to put his guilt to bed, to prove to himself that the child could not be his. He's also terrified it could prove the opposite, leaving Xiao in more guilt than before and with more responsibilities.

Xiao may have never seen you again had it not been for Zhongl's insistence that he appear to him. With you sat beside him.

At first glance, he comes to realise that it is undeniable that the child is his. He could feel it, stronger than any feeling he had ever felt before. He felt his heart clench painfully inside of his chest as though it were crying for the moments they had wasted.

But he still can't bring himself to touch his child, too afraid to stain it with his sins.

He cries against you that night, sobbing apologies into your shoulder and muttering promises to his son.

Tartaglia

Bro straight up does not even question it. He's heard of such things before and he's so sure and secure in your relationship that the idea that it isn't his or yours doesn't even cross his mind.

If he's honest, its obviously his. The ginger hair was a big hint.

Ajax is honestly incredibly happy- he's always wanted a family of his own and he feels as if this was a gift from the archons. A child that no one outside of him and you know exists yet. He's aware of how good a position that is given how high his place in the fatui is.

He cannot resist telling his family, asking them to keep if close to their chest for the baby's sake.

He didn't get the chance to look after you during the pregnancy, so he's making up for it now. He won't let you do anything in the first few months.

"Stay here gorgeous, I'll feed her!", "You worked so hard you deserve an hour where you aren't looking after our child", and "I just found the CUTEST little outfit in the boutique- look!" are all common things to hear now.

He hasn't brought it up yet, but he really, really wants another one. One that he can help you with during the pregnancy and anticipate.

Zhongli

I feel as though there is no way for you to be pregnant and have him not know at some point.

In fact, he tries to hint it to you in the beginning and later outright asks you if you're pregnant. When you deny it, he's astoundingly patient, waiting for you to realise it yourself.

He understands that it must be absurd to hear that you were pregnant when you have no symptoms of it.

So he makes it a point to always be close by, or to have someone (usually Xiao) keep an eye on you.

It's just an average walk through Liyue Harbour when you drop to the floor and groan in pain. Your husband is immediately there to steady you, offering his strong hand for you to crush.

People gather around you both in concern, encircling you like you were some spectacle. Zhongli tells them to step away, and as people start to realise the gravity a green-haired doctor slips past the crowd.

You give birth in the street, never realising you were pregnant before leaving the house.

Kaedehara Kazuha

Kazuha has always been fairly good at going with the flow and this was no exception.

If he was honest, he knows that even if it wasn't related to you both, and you just picked it up off the street he would never refuse it.

He does his best to accept things and help you with things after, to make sure you heal well.

He's never cared for a child, let alone his own but he's willing to try his best in doing so.

And he's an outrageously good father given he had no time to prepare.

He fashions a baby bed on the crux, sleeping with the baby on his chest every night before finishing it.

It's you who finds out that your child will only sleep when sung to, after Kazuha has been doing so for the first few weeks.

Kazuha hadn't expected this but he has to admit that having a child has made him feel at home in every place as long as it is with you.

Thoma

Immediately Thoma panics. Though not for the reason you expect.

"Now I have to give short notice when asking for paternity leave"

Of course, he doesn't make it your fault, he's aware it's half of both of you.

When the Kamisato siblings find out, Ayaka is extremely excited. Thoma is given paid paternity leave, and Ayaka gets to coo at your tiny baby, marvelling at how it managed to occur.

Thoma is a wonderful father and he always volunteers to get up in the night for feeds and changes.

Fatherhood suits him well <3

He may have one moment of apprehension about the pregnancy, briefly questioning whether you had really given birth.

Before he reigns himself back in and realises that he knows you would never do something like that.

Arrataki Itto

Cue five minutes of pure silence while he tries to understand what you just said <3.

Bro didn't even know that was possible, like no way.

But at the same time, he understands that you wouldn't joke about this sort of thing. Plus the baby has horns just like her father.

He's in a state of shock for a few hours, a dumb expression painted on as he sits down cradling the baby oni.

And then finally he responds.

"Wait so this is like mine? I have to keep it and like look after it and stuff?"

Gorou

Gorou could smell something different with you from the beginning but with nothing to go on he didn't press it.

And at some point he just stopped noticing it, there was no reason to assume when he saw no real change in your behaviour.

Until he sees two resistance members charging towards him and beckoning him to follow them as they run off once more.

And that's when he finds you, sat low against the wall of a hut, sweaty and tearstained.

And then he hones in on the babe tucked between your arms and chest.

And then the guilt hits him. He could have known this might be the case, surely he should have made you leave just until he was sure of the outcome.

"I- I forced you into battle... And-and you were pregnant."

Kamisato Ayato

Ayato is very sure that you would never lie to him but he knows that the circumstances will be suspicious to many and that those who doubt may spread rumours given your unmarried status.

He loves you and he'd sooner die than have people spread vicious lies about you like you were some harlot.

But he really can't bear the idea of giving up your son.

So he bites the bullet and he, you, and Ayaka make a public appearance when you both introduce your child and the godmother, Ayaka <3.

People talked about you both but he couldn't care less when he had something so beautiful to look forward to now.

Tighnari

Tighnari is also there to watch you suddenly give birth. However he remains calm, easing your pain with herbs and scents.

He kisses your forehead and squeezes your hand to reassure you of how well you're doing.

He has never had experience with one in person but he knows of them, and he takes the subsequent weeks observing you and the baby, all while caring for you both.

He hadn't expected a child so soon but he had desire for a whole family someday so he took it in stride.

He takes great pleasure telling Collei, knowing how excited she would be.

Cyno

Cyno feels his whole heart thump when he comes home from a week of work away from you to see you in a chair, rocking a baby back and forth.

"Are you babysitting for a friend, sweetheart?"

You jump as if you didn't hear him enter and then relax when your eyes find him in the doorway.

"Not quite," you murmur as you play with the baby's tiny hand/

He grows curious and gingerly steps closer until he is beside you, looking down at the child.

He'd recognise that hair anywhere. And those eyes.

He felt as though he was looking back at himself from his past.

Instinctively he reaches out to gently caress the small face that peers up at him.

And then he looks back at you as if asking for an explanation. How did this happen? Surely, he would have realised you were pregnant.

Scaramouche

No. He's unwilling to even entertain the idea that you were pregnant with his child, to begin with. He was sure he was infertile. there was no way this thing was his.

And its that simple to him, you think. He leaves and you never meet again.

What you don't know is that Scaramouche, now Wanderer, is none the wiser to your existence, and the child you share.

Sorry, that's quite a sombre ending. I would like to mention that with Scara, he would ultimately return to you if he knew you <3

[angelshizuka]

I actually think Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss being so called "problematic" (though, what tf does that word even mean anymore, with the way it's being used for literally anything someone personally doesn't like) is exactly why I love it so much.

Modern media has gotten way too "pure" and "wholesome" for my liking. I mean, I like it from time to time, but I'm sick of it being shoved down my throat as the only meal option. Because god in heaven forbid characters have flaws and arcs anymore. Nowadays they're expected to always have been good little beans from the start, with nothing to learn, because they're already right and everyone else is just wrong. Even villains, the characters we are supposed to enjoy hating, now commit some of the mildest crimes imaginable, because godforbid evil characters are shown doing evil things.

It's all thanks to the kind of people who act like showing fictional characters "committing a crime" in a fictional world is the literal same thing as that crime actually being committed in the real world... I need people to tell me they know the difference between those two things, common sense can't be THAT dead... right??

This is also one of the reasons I'm so happy these shows are for mature audiences, because the "think of the kids" arguments can finally fuck off and there's no need to "dumb things down for the kids" (despite kids who grew up decades ago being able to handle it just fine). Either you're mature enough for these shows or you're not, but it's not our problem if your media literacy hasn't matured beyond kindergarten.

Like, I grew up with movies that showed the villain literally burning down an entire city, because he had a boner for a woman who didn't want him. Or heck, when they had the balls to show the main character literally killing the co-lead's mother, because of his own bigotry. (A cookie for the people who know which movies I'm talking about!) Modern "kids media" could never.

The best way I can describe HH and HB is the fandom of a 2000s show, so like the best of both worlds. With a bit of modernization sprinkled in, because yes, I can acknowledge the 2000s wasn't perfect either. I just feel like these shows really know what tropes to ditch and which ones to keep. As someone who grew up with shows in that era and has been active in online fandoms since the mid 2000s, it just makes it right up my alley.

And considering Viv is barely a year older than me, this doesn't suprise me. I also think it's why she understands her fandom so well, because she's literally been on the fandom side of this sorta thing.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/750262778392133632/i-was-watching-a-video-on-the-rise-of-the-brave?source=share

I really don't like this kind of videos, and it's not so much because I'm actively engaged in fandom, but because the creators that make them always make everything sound like it's something stupid that only idiots would be interested in.

A while ago, I used to be subscribed to Sarah Z, but unsubscribed because all her videos about fandom were some kind of mockery of it and of the people who participated in it. Every single video sounded like "Oooh, and look at these basement dwellers! So stupid for having interests I deem to be cringy! Let's all laugh and point at them!"

Like, dude, you make your livelihood by posting videos about other people on the internet. Your "career" is the modern version of a rag mag, and you still need additional writers and the unpaid labor of others (because when it comes to old fandom lore, they source the information they spit back out from write-ups people wrote for fun, not paying them a dime even if they're making thousands of dollars from it). You don't get to act like a hardened intellectual because in your free time you prefer listening to podcasts rather than writing stories featuring copyrighted characters.

Let's get a grip, here.

--

Sarah thinks that because she got over mystrade once she wasn't 14 anymore, the rest of us should stop having fun.

[utilitycaster]

no d20 spoilers here since i know you know the gist of the drama but the fact that both kipperlilly (and the ratgrinders as a whole) and laudna are sending the their respective fandoms into meltdowns is FASCINATING to me!!! Especially happening at roughly the same time

I am now officially caught up and. not to brag but, called it re: the Rat Grinders, huh, except it's even more stupid. Like. The "but they're literally minors?" argument sort of falls apart given that they're the same age as the Bad Kids, and are actively trying to kill them, the "but redemption" argument doesn't mean shit since at no point did they make any forays towards redemption and indeed sicced a bunch of dragons on the Bad Kids, and so we're left with nothing but an impotent desire to not have a sick-ass battle in the finale of a D20 Campaign. And, perhaps, an uncomfortable realization that they are not unlike the Rat Grinders and the narrative said "lmao yeah you suck".

Laudna's shit? not that different actually. Like there's a lot of reasons why the arguments defending her are bullshit but the biggest one is that the "Laudna has never done anything wrong ever in her life and Imogen is her tether" crowd have painted themselves into a delightfully tiny little corner and they can't hide it anymore. Like, okay, so, is Laudna in control of her actions? Because if so she just attacked Orym in the middle of the night. Is she not? Because if so why hasn't she made the efforts that Chetney and FCG and Imogen (at least sometimes) did to address that? If the issue is trauma why is hers more valid than that of others? If it's abuse tell me how you feel about Caleb, Fjord, Beau, and Percy? Why is Orym shutting down the conversation when he says the Vanguard killed his family but Laudna's not doing the same when she tells Ashton not to speak to her of loneliness and Chetney not to speak to her of loss when she doesn't have a monopoly on either?

Why is it Bells Hells' job to endlessly accomodate Laudna and why are so many people suddenly talking about Bells Hells as an abstract 7-headed entity that didn't deal with Laudna's problems when those same people (if they were around at the time of the gnarlrock airing, and many of them weren't) were like "NO THEY SHOULD MAKE UP AS FAST AS POSSIBLE AND IMOGEN IS A BITCH BECAUSE LAUDNA DIDN'T MEAN IT." Why wasn't it an issue for them when Laudna's ranting about her time in Issylra and how hard it was got shut down by Imogen kissing her because that's why it didn't stay in the spotlight. Why wasn't it an issue for them when Imogen said "if you need her, that's my answer"? Why is it Orym or "Bells Hells" in the abstract who never spent time on Laudna's trauma after months if not years of throwing a fit any time someone (often me) (not always though) pointed out how much Imogen and Laudna were shoving under the rug and not dealing with? What does it say that you can't even expect Laudna's partner to be the one supporting her through this- it has to be Orym? Why doesn't Laudna have any responsibility here? At minimum she could have spoken up about the sword at at least two if not three junctures and she didn't.

There's a lot of things I hold in contempt, and after the obvious things like bigotry, two I really detest are hypocrisy and dereliction of responsibility. It's been extremely telling with both the D20 and CR discourse that people do not like seeing the story and the fandom say "hey actually you need to take responsibility for your actions, you only get redemption if you work for it, and if you leave a room hoping someone will follow you without saying that's what you want? Don't be surprised if no one does." The reason everyone was preparing to stop Laudna was because she was, in every action and decision, showing herself to be a person in need of being stopped. Can you describe this perfect balance of gentleness in which she's never pushed too hard but she does talk about her trauma and work through it and in doing so leaves Delilah? Have you demanded any other member of Bells Hells be granted that same gentleness and patience and kindness or do you think Orym should get over his grief because it's inconvenient to your arguments.

Just as the Rat Grinders show the narrative saying "being an entitled, resentful, jealous person who hurts others from jealousy makes you an easy tool to be manipulated into cruelty and you need to deal with that," I think Laudna shows the narrative (and certainly the fandom) saying "you do have an obligation to deal with your trauma, especially if it causes you to hurt others, and you can ask for help but you can't just sit on your ass waiting for someone else to initiate the process for you" as well as "if you do hurt people because of your trauma they may be angry with you, this may shape how they see you, and they are justified in that because you hurt them" and I think people in both fandoms hate being told that because I think a lot of the people sparking the discourse really do think that you can shield yourself from criticism over your hurtful actions by claiming trauma or neurodivergence or mental illness or whatever and it's like, no, you do still suck, you just also had sucky things happen to you as well.