#i watched the world become more feminist and i'm watching it now becoming less feminist in real fucking time

[gender-euphowrya]

it's incredible how we started taking feminism for granted like. we made a smidge of progress and everyone was like "i guess this is never going away and the next generations are going to keep on this legacy. let's wrap it up !'' and now we have girl math and buccal fat removal and tradwives and claims that no woman could compete with any man

[cuubism]

Hey just wanted to say you're not a killjoy at all, you're actually absolutely correct

Thank you, I wish I didn't have to be 😔 I wish we lived in a world where gender equality was so long solidified that we could make silly jokes like that and not have it inadvertently feed into real world misogyny. I could see a world where women's inequality was so far in the past that 'ugh i wish i could just have someone else pay for everything' could be a funny #relatable 'we all hate working' kind of joke because everyone understood we don't actually want dependency. But that's not this time period when so many people genuinely believe that a woman's place is only in the home, and when young women might see that joke and believe that giving up their independence is a good idea or that women fighting for the right to equality in employment was a mistake. It inadvertently feeds into the rising tide of misogyny and points people towards those "traditional values" influencers that really push the idea that women should (god i hate the phrase "women should") submit to men and that their only valid life path is being a wife and mother. Especially when algorithms tend to push people down alt-right rabbit holes, like, even my insta feed is full of trad wife fundamentalist christian content because I hate watch it and then the algo feeds me more 😂 that's on me really I should just block all those accounts.

I mean, I sympathize, I hate my job sometimes too, I think everyone would like to have a life where they didn't have to work 40+ hours a week and had more leisure time. Unfortunately we live in a world where money by and large equates to freedom. So my go to complaint isn't wow I wish I had no life choices and was dependent on a man for my livelihood! when I'm irritated about work 😂

A lot of the content made by younger women online recently seems kind of regressive in its approach to gender roles, "i can't do this i'm just a girlie" and so on (I'm aware it's a joke, but oftentimes stuff starts as a joke and then reaches people who don't see it as one), and I worry about us backsliding. I'm concerned by young women idealizing the Trad Wife lifestyle, not knowing their history and how dangerous a position it puts women in. I'm concerned by the 'stay at home girlfriend' trend, possibly MORE dangerous for how it lacks even the meager property and alimony protections of marriages. I'm concerned by the increasing gendered political divide and radicalization of young men, the way misogyny has become more and more virulent and loud and normalized over the past few years. The way women's rights are being rolled back with even more restrictions being pushed by the Right in an attempt to hold onto power and maintain their hierarchical worldview.

We need feminism more than ever right now, and additionally I think we all need to reclaim it from radfems and terfs. The word has become too associated with them, to the point I fear people are afraid to call themselves feminists for fear of it being misinterpreted, and I'm sick of it, why should terfs get to define it? Especially when our rights in society are all entwined. Reproductive rights--an issue that doesn't solely impact women but does disproportionately affect women--arises from the same root issue of fundamental bodily autonomy as does trans rights. Moreover the existence of trans and nonbinary people reinforces gender equality because if gender and sex are malleable, not fundamental and binary, then upon what basis is the oppression of women? How can one claim that women are less than men, or that women and men 'should' hold such and such roles when even the role of 'woman' or 'man' is not discrete. I hope terfs can come around to seeing that.

I don't believe in policing people's online activity unless it's like actually threatening hate speech, so I'm certainly not going to tell them they can't joke how they want. I just hope they think about why that's where their mind goes when they don't want to work, instead of wishing that society didn't work people to the bone, that people had more leisure time, that jobs were better and more meaningful etc. I hope they think about the women around the world who are still denied education and denied the right to work and forced to depend on their family or husband with no freedom or autonomy, and how much work it took women in the past to even get where we are, and how much there still is left to do.

[terra-feminarum]

Patriarchy is crumbling right now

There's a window of opportunity for patriarchy to collapse, right now. I argue it's actually collapsing as we speak.

Traditionally, patrilocality has been a huge part of patriarchy. When married, a woman moved in with the family of the husband. She now became the daughter-in-law, having the least power in the family unit despite being the one who actually secured the future of that family unit with children. The most tedious tasks were given to her, her voice didn't have much value. After all, she was a stranger among the family - the husband, his parents, his brothers who were loyal to each other, not her.

Nowadays women in many cultures are still considered to enter the husband's family to some degree, via sharing his family name. This tradition is crumbling as we speak and in many parts of the world women don't even consider moving in with the husband's family of origin. Couples get their own place, which is called ambilocality. This takes away power from the husband's family. The wife doesn't automatically become an underdog now. This is huge.

Ambilocal nuclear family is far from a feminist utopia, but I consider it a rupture in the fabric of patriarchal society. It is new. Power for men hasn't been built in it's structure, like it is in patrilocal systems. More and more nuclear families act in less and less patriarchal ways, even if the husband still can't do dishes and he still watches porn.

Another rupture is single parents. Many will go through divorce. Children can now live with both of their parents who live separately, or often, just their mother. I wish all mothers had a large community to support them and I ache for them for having to carry such a burden alone, but this is a step towards something else.

The patriarchal family structure is in shambles. In so many countries women have the right to own bank accounts, go to work, to decide where they live.

We are on the verge of women freeing themselves from the patriarchal family structure for good.

Let's not stop with nuclear family. Let's not wait for harsher times when many might revert to the old ways and just go live with their husband's family if money is tight or the society is unsafe.

Now it's the time to build something else, and we need to think something that is as stable as a family, the main social structure, the unit you are loyal to your whole life. We are taught women can't form relationships like that with each other, unless they're sexual in nature and that's the one exception which people will still consider less real than heterosexual marriage.

No, I'm not talking about lesbians or bi women but women in general. How would your ideal female-centered social structure look like?

A matrilocal family (daughters stay at home and husbands move in with her parents)? Another type of matrilocality where neither leaves their family of origin but men only visit the woman and men mainly help their sisters with their children? Women's lands where it would be the land itself that kept people together?

Something else? What would be the social glue to keep that structure together?

[understandingbimbos]

So. There's a few things I need to address. My documentation and study of bimbos began as a personal project. I only started a blog because I was putting a ridiculous amount of work and thought into this and figured it should be shared (and still, there's SO much I haven't shared yet...). And that's part of why this blog isn't so well managed, not consistent, and very informal. I write every post with the assumption whoever reading will have some familiarity with the fetish and that was kind of a mistake when dealing with subject matter as delicate as this and if I want to be able to attract literally any other audience. But the blog is here now so its kind of a moot point. I won't be rewriting posts. I want to kill myself every day, its astonishing I can write anything. Anyway, recently I discovered an adult performer named Celestina Blooms, in particular, this video:

We share a lot of the same thoughts. And her criticisms of BimboTok are a lot better articulated. Here are some of things she's said that stood out to me (paraphrased):

"As an actual political movement, the Gen Z bimbo isn't actually very helpful beyond being satire because there are contradictions."

"It makes no sense to be expected to have every single decision in your life, in every area of your life, be a form of activism."

"If you don't spend enough time watching all their videos to completely get the point it looks like they're satirizing the ideologies they're preaching."

"They're kind of taking this thing and being like 'Hey! This thing is leftist because I'm leftist and I said so!' when the thing is still something very tied to a lot of systems of oppression."

"I think there's an issue with saying that being feminine is feminist."

"Because there are so many minors on TikTok they'll come across this trend and see the cute aesthetic and cute clothes, and for good measure, the ideologies a lot of them agree with and be like 'Fuck yes! Sign me up!' and before you know it they're dressing like a bimbo, calling themselves a 'bimbo', and all this stuff while not even being aware of this whole other world of bimbofication as a fetish and unknowingly calling attention to themselves."

She also brings up Pink Bimbo Academy in this video (not by name, and if you somehow see this Celestina, sorry for blowing up your spot!). I bring this up because PBA actually reached out to me like two weeks ago. We had an extremely brief conversation. He lost all interest as soon as he realized my blog isn't primarily about real life bimbos and, like Celestina, I don't believe bimbos are really a real life thing. This is the reason for my last text post (now pinned).

Up until this point I didn't realize Pink Bimbo Academy was a guy, or extremely weird. He's one of those bimbo enthusiasts that genuinely believes every woman should be a bimbo, unless they're trans that is, because according to him a bimbo can't have a penis or possess any "masculine" qualities. He seems to view bimbofication less as a fetish and more of a means to an end. To him, bimbos are the peak of femininity and bimbofication only helps women to become more of who they're "biologically" meant to be. He has entire rants against feminism up on his website and aspires to create an actual real-life bimbo finishing school, like he's a super villain or some shit, like the antagonist of every school-set bimbofication story come to life. And unfortunately, he's basically the resource for bimbofication online. I have to assume not everyone that follows his guides reads all his posts and FAQ but its more than disappointing to have a transphobe be one of the main vanguards of this fetish today.

Anyway, I can't recommend Celestina's video enough. Its a bit long but all worth watching and has made the prospect of writing this book exciting again. I would suggest this video of hers too:

Post-script: After over an hour of writing all of this I realized I actually did something extremely stupid here. Celestina follows me on here, possibly one of the first people to follow me. I kept wondering why one of her icons looked so familiar and it took me until literally just now to figure it out. I hope she doesn't mind the plug, because you all should follow her too!

@celestinablooms Twitter Instagram

[anhed-nia]

I just finished a barely-interrupted binge of all four seasons of this show, and now I hardly know what to do with myself. A while ago I began research for a project on true crime television, which brought me into contact with an unscripted show veteran who strongly recommended UnReal, a drama about a field producer on a Bachelor-like program who is both extremely good at her job, and extremely mentally ill. It was way better than whatever I expected. I don't watch a ton of TV--which is not a declaration of my superiority in any dimension, it's just that I need to spend most of my time on movies, and I'm kind of particular (not due to "good taste" necessarily, just particular). UnReal initially comes off like a regular old cable show--to me it looks more or less like a CW product or something, with no hint of auteurship like there is with Fargo or Better Call Saul or whatever else usually lures me to television--but the writing pulls absolutely zero punches and I could not take my eyes off it. There is an occasional lull where things are more predictably soapy and I'd think "OK, well that was nice while it lasted," and then as soon as my guard was down something legitimately shocking would happen and I'd be back in my seat, watching unblinkingly.

The show is based on actual experiences of co-creator Sarah Gertrude Shapiro, a one-time producer on The actual Bachelor, which I only found out after the fact but I was thinking all along, "This is so grotesque that I'm sure it (or something like it) really happens." UnReal's other mastermind is Marti Noxon, who has credits on a lot of dark and/or construably feminist shows that have met with more success (don't ask me, I thought Sharp Objects was OK and I've never been attracted to Buffy, I just can't handle anything Joss Whedon-flavored), and she seems to have a real knack for telling psychologically realistic stories of seriously disturbed women. Which I appreciate a lot. My main complaint about UnReal was just that I wanted MORE, of all of it. Parts of the core mythology are just so fascinating that I craved a deep dive into all the details and consequences that I guess was just not in the cards for something with a large cast and a ton of moving parts. I'll just have to luxuriate in the intrigue since this ended in 2018.

...On which note I'll say that I think UnReal is colored significantly by Trump-era anxiety in ways that are more and less obvious. The show's chief concerns are more generally about the contributions of reality TV and social media to a culture of widespread bullying, but there is definitely something more specific in there about living under the reign of an unapologetic rapist who validates and empowers rapists at large, and feeling like the only way to preserve yourself in that world is to become a predator yourself. But anyway, the one question that is still burning my brain is about the fact that some of the set dressing features Silver Saaremaeel and Kaya Saaremaeel's gothy webcomic Run Freak Run. Which I've never read, actually I specifically found out about it because of posters hanging on office walls in UnReal. I really want someone to tell me how a gothy webcomic made it into the scenery of a major Lifetime drama. My pathetic websleuthing skills have failed to turn up active accounts for either of the comic's creators, so if anyone has a line on this information, please let me know! Meanwhile, you can watch UnReal on Tubi, the king of streaming sites.

^^^ Run Freak Run

[roobylavender]

genuinely curious bcs everyone and their mother is obsessed w barbie, why do u hate it lol ?? like criticism wise u mentioned the director before but anything else beyond that ? ( i haven’t watched it yet so i have no opinion)

the most pressing issue is that mattel is very clearly using it as a test to gauge whether it can create a cinematic universe consisting of its other sub properties so the entire movie is essentially nothing more than a greedy cash grab (which yes you could say most mainstream movies are cash grabs but i would liken this to the marvel movies wherein it's clear that intellectual property is used to maximally capitalize on a piece of media until it makes the most profit imaginable) and this is exacerbated by the fact that the movie pretends to criticize mattel and the purpose of barbie wrt consumerism but like. the movie is literally produced by mattel lmao. like no criticism within a movie being produced by the criticized entity is actually going to consist of genuine and good faith criticism. and obv most people's response to that has been well surely you couldn't expect anything more than liberal feminism from a barbie movie and it's like yeah i couldn't but that doesn't make it any less evil. a corporation pretending to appear self aware about its contribution to consumerism all the while funneling money into a project that only further encourages consumerism at a clearly exponential rate is evil. and maybe it's a harsh assessment on my part but i seriously am judging people who pay to see this movie bc of that!

when you get to the actual movie though my most severe criticism of it would be that it entrenches itself deeply in a bioessentialist gender binary. like idk if you've noticed all of the posts from people like wow girls are dressing up again and wearing pink and being encouraged to do girly things isn't that so amazing! it's like that infamous tumblr post that says liberal feminism discourse eventually circles back to what sounds like let men be masculine let women be feminine etc etc. the movie basically tries to create this metaphor via barbieland wherein the kens are the dismissed minority adjacent to what women are in the real world, in a satirical attempt to convey that feminism should not actually be about female dominance (what they purport barbie has come to represent) but about equality of the sexes and equality in the ability to pursue whatever you want to (hence a barbie does not have to conform to unattainable standards of success for women and a ken does not have to merely exist for the sake of barbie). which i will admit does have the potential to be a good message as far as liberal feminist movies will go, and there is a scene towards the end with barbie and ken where this is explained that happens to be one of two scenes i actually liked in the whole movie. but the problem is that the movie does an utterly shit job of actually building up to it, and it still ultimately sticks to and makes guiding posts of traditional notions of gender insofar as kens being masculine and barbies being feminine. the last few minutes of the movie involve barbie becoming a real woman bc she no longer wants to simply be an idea, so in her final scene she goes to a gynecologist bc she now has a vagina (something she did not have prior). and again like i'm not expecting a barbie movie of all things to have revolutionary takes on gender but i simply think the messaging is severely undermined when you're relying strictly on the gender binary to carry your storytelling. to the point that i believe all of the transphobic backlash to the movie is not only a consequence of people's own transphobia but also of the movie's inability to have anything but an utterly shallow take on feminism entrenched in the gender binary that merely believes we can learn by switching places with each other

and i mean on top of having shallow messaging it's simply.. not a well built movie lmao. the plot progression is haphazard and inconsistent due to an inability to flesh out either barbieland or the real world. america ferrera is the hero of the story bc her monologue about what women are expected to be by society is able to break the brainwashing spell over the barbies who have found themselves subservient to a ken takeover in barbieland once ken learns about patriarchy in the real world. but america ferrera is never actually developed as a character. we have one brief montage to indicate she has a poor relationship with her daughter bc she has always loved barbies whereas her daughter hasn't (the daughter also lectures barbie about how she's a fascist who encourages capitalism and consumerism. lol) but that relationship is never actually developed or dissected. we go from them seemingly not getting along to suddenly being the best of friends bc they go back to barbieland with barbie and decide to help her fix things and america's inspirational monologue brings her daughter around to barbie as a concept. it's just.. utterly silly. like not even in a good way silly, it's just stupid

and it frustrates me bc i do think there was a lot of potential to do something with the mother-daughter relationship esp considering its importance to the ending thesis of the movie in a scene between ruth handler and barbie (the other scene in the movie i actually enjoyed). like i would have been okay with a movie that acknowledged barbie was an influential media property for older women who had grown accustomed to nurturing baby dolls as children in preparation for motherhood, while acknowledging that barbie was no longer necessarily the same symbol of empowerment for modern generations of women bc of how the feminist movement has progressed and evolved. it's why i honestly think the movie should have been about the mother and daughter exclusively. like i don't even think barbieland should have existed nor barbies and kens been real characters bc it took away so much from conveying a message with even a drop of integrity. america's eventual monologue is so universal and lifeless and bland that it appeals exactly to the kind of crowd who are now making tiktoks and reels that the barbie movie is important for teaching people about feminism. like ok. sure. fuck you to intersectional feminism or anything grounded in the realities of anyone else other than white women whose only concern is not being able to conform to standards of success in the real world (and the ironic thing is the movie even makes an aside that margot robbie is the wrong person to cast to convey such a message, but like. what am i supposed to do with that. it accomplishes nothing)

i said as much on twt but i simply think there is no point to try to make a movie critiquing the scope of barbie when the answer is still ultimately barbie. a critique of barbie has to end in something other than barbie and when your movie is being produced by mattel that will never actually happen. which i do think can branch off into conversations about intellectual property and how creators are largely restricted from ever expanding upon properties they loved as children bc their ownership by media entities restricts creative output from the start (see: cape comics!). but i don't even think this is a matter of greta gerwig being restricted. she genuinely believes in this shtick bc she's always believed in it. her feminism starts and stops at white feminism and the smattered in visibility of minorities to feel like she is doing her part as an ally, when ultimately, she is doing nothing. lady bird and little women are not as offensive in this regard (albeit you may remember the latter movie has a very brief moment where marmy speaks to a nameless black woman as a moment of token recognition) bc their primary focus is not feminism and bc they are either constrained by autobiography or adaptation. it's great speaking either to what she knows or to what the author of a book knows. barbie is a movie about feminism, so it works best to reveal how utterly out of her depth greta gerwig is in that area as she tries to apply herself everywhere and fails. when people say it's better for straight white women to stick to what they know rather than rush to represent everyone in their work, they're right. there's no use in representing that which you will never live nor understand. and if people do identify with greta gerwig's brand of feminism, then i think it says a lot about how shallow their feminism actually is

[papirouge]

The message you got about conservative men being closeted gay/bisexual came right on time because I've been thinking about it lately lol.

I always suspect these trad men when they talk too much about a woman's role and constantly criticize women, on top of the homophobia like atp i know it'll be a matter of time when something related to his sexuality will come out... Remember that scrote who gave that speech saying women were wasting their time with their careers and should become housewives and have children instead? And how some gay men started exposing him saying he had a "gay past"? I believe many of these men are lowkey jealous of women and have a hatred of them bc we are "allowed" to be with men and they can't... Like the way many of these men are obssesed with feminity and think any woman not shaving or wearing pants or prioritizing work is masculine.. If there's a group of men obssesed with hyper feminity is gay men, that's why they like those hyper femenine pop stars like Lana del Rey, I just feel these conservative men wish they could be one of the lolita stay at home gf coquette girlies lol.

That's also why I think it's funny when these conservative guys make fun of leftist men for wearing nail polish or being feminist or being pro-lgbt and imply they're gay. These men are not the ones having scandals for being closeted gay lol it's always the right wingers. At least leftist men don't have issues accepting their sexuality - you'll in fact find guys trying to hide their heterosexuality to be trans inclusive like the guys who say their pansexual bc they like "cis women, trans men and afab nonbinaries." lol And many times conservative men have been found to be closeted it's rarely through something more "innocent" like holding a man's hand, it's always something like participating in a gay orgy, or being with a prostituted man (or boy 🤢) or watching trans porn (even though they denounce porn and say it makes men less manly... One has to laugh).

Controversial take, but there's nothing less revolutionary or subversive in male gayness. Homosexuality is the peak of male narcissism and this tracks back to the dawn of time. Greeks & romans were huge male homosexuality apologetic societies. And *pikachu face* they were also patriarchal and pedophiles. Funny how those are often linked.

History is just repeating itself. Conservatives are actually consistent in trying to get back in their old way of those old times. Those maga/redpiller account with greek statue are such glaring giveaways.... lol

I think conservatism is pretty coherent with a form of patriarchal misogynist homosexuality.

I'm not surprised by those stories of closeted gays caught in 'extreme' situations, I guess that's what unchecked & unhealed sexual frustration will do to you

Yeah I remember that moid and talked about him here lol I think tiktokers dug out some statements he previously made where he said back in highschool he had a crush on one of his teammates or coach?? His Instagram is pretty zeisty too👀 There's something definitely fishy with him..his speech screamed like some major copium. Something tells me that since he struggled with his sexuality, he now wants to impose the same sexual control onto women. He's definitely not one of those people who "recovered" from homosexuality

And you know what? I think everyone would benefit having more sexual continence, but dude messed up by compelling women (and only women) to do the opposite and jumpinto marriage and childbearing. He wants to control women into motherhood which is absolutely irresponsible.

I also think the obsession of Conservatives with Epstein super weird. Sure his "suicide" was suspect but it's very suspicious to see them act like he and his list were the only pedo network in the world. Same with Balenciaga. I hate how sensational headlines made people lose focus and forgot that this isssue is more culturally pervasive How many of the ppl who clutched their pearls are the tragic Balenciaga campaigns watch #teen porn? or entertain anime lolicon/cute japanese girl fetish? shame grown women for looking old and not forever looking like prepubescent girls? Balenciaga wouldn't have done that campaign is they didn't feel like society was ready to accept it. It thankfully didn't, but it's time for everyone to acknowledge this decision didn't happen out of a vacuum. Society is being groomed into sexual & moral degeneracy, and many of the people who went off at Balenciaga are actually part of the problem.

I'll never forget how conservatives almost unanimously defended Andrew Tate because sex trafficking & rape is apparently okay as long as the victims are not children somehow🤡

[youaremysunshine-court]

In lieu of the season finale, I'd like to talk about something that has been pointed out to me multiple times (specifically by cishet males). I'd like to preface this by saying this isn't a criticism because I'm pretty sure it's intentional (and if it's unintentional, the show should work on either dialling it back or making it a plot point). But I want to talk about feminism and the empowerment of women in WoT.

Don't get mad just yet, I'm on your side!

Just a few times I've seen men shown as less powerful than women, or "weaker":

Logain in Tar Valon: he comes in, he's all big and bold and sasses the Amyrlin Seat, and then at a few words from her, he crumples. He's led away in tears, kicking and screaming, not great for his honor...

Rand in the Blight: saying it was meant to be Egwene, even though canonically the Dragon can only be male. And moiraine not refuting that.

The Aes Sedai: come on, the White Tower is a huge threat to any male, like they have Warders that they can bond (non-consensually in the books) and the trainees who'll eventually become Warders, but otherwise its completely female-run.

The Seanchan: look at that boat from episode 8. The men were clearly just there as guard dogs, and it was the d*mane that held all the power.

Every single ruler: has an Aes Sedai whispering in their ear. That's a lot of power for women to hold. Are you starting to see a pattern? Good.

Min and Dana(sp?) : both shown as strong women who take no shit from men, who can clearly hold their own. They look cool, they act cool, they may be "barmaids" but they can and will kick your ass. (Yes, she was a darkfriend. She was cool before we found that out.)

Moiraine: she has a man who follows her around like a puppy and never questions her. He appears to be around for her to order around, and to protect her and that's about it. (Shh, no moiraine bashing here, that's how the world was built)

Lan: when he does get his own story, it's falling in love with a powerful woman who (as far as we know) doesn't need anyone. (Yes, his arc expands later, but let's focus on this season.) She makes all the moves in the relationship, and yet he's the one spouting his feelings for her, asking her to stay the night, etc. (We love the Lan speech! It's adorable and the first time I read it I cried)

Now, take all those instances and swap the genders. Thank you. Doesn't it look a lot like our modern world, when you swap the genders? Yeah. Makes you wonder why so many of my friends and YouTubers* online are spitting mad about women being in power. And yet they don't bat an eye when they see it in the real world.

*the amount of videos I've watched that are like oh warders can't fuck each other, oh women have so much power, oh there aren't any sexualised prostitutes (cough cough witcher), oh women are shown as human beings not objects... sorry, I'm a little mad about this.

Now I don't know if this was a conscious choice that the people in charge made. And I cannot tell you whether it's a good or bad thing, because I, as a book fan, am terribly biased. And also you have critical thinking skills for a reason. You come to your own conclusions.

All I can say is, if people are feeling uncomfortable at the amount of power imbalance. If people think that women are abusing their power in certain situations (as we shall see very soon). If people are wondering why men aren't given the "respect they deserve" and why they're "crying" and "having feelings", then I would like to ask how they missed it all in the books. Women had just as much power in the books, maybe more.

But now that the show has explored that facet just the slightest bit, people are up in arms about it being feminist and modern and catering to women. Okay then, sorry to burst your bubble but the real world is patriarchal and backward and catering to men. So if the power imbalance in WoT makes you uncomfortable, why doesn't the power imbalance in the real world make you uncomfortable?

[sokos]

Hey Soko!

Why do you think there is a strong solidarity among men? I noticed this before and wondered why men don't call other men out. I don't see women as a whole doing this for each other. I feel like there's no solidarity from my experience at least. Like if a man wrongs me, it seems hard to find support from my friends, they tend to play devil's advocate unless I was wronged by another woman, then they're supportive.

I'm sorry if this is basic feminism 101. I'm from a conservative community so I'm new to feminism as a whole.

Thank you in advance :)

I think the reason why men always have each other’s backs is because they’re aware of their privilege and status in the world and they want to maintain it. They know that if they start calling out the sexism of the other men, first their own sexism will come to light too, and they will start to lose the privilege they’re so used to having. Opressors must support each other to keep their superiority over the opressed group, if more and more men start becoming less misogynistic and realizing the power women have, they would lose all the benefits that come with being seen as the superior class.

There’s also this theory that says heterosexual male culture is homoerotic in nature. Because although they feel attracted to female bodies, the only thing they expect from women is sex, submission and devotion, because most of them don’t see women as human. And how can you be attracted to someone you don’t even value? Meanwhile they do everything to impress other men, even hookup culture in men is created to impress their male friends with the number of women they’ve slept with. Or for example men who have great shredded bodies are always bragging about it to their male friends, you see their instagram pages and all the comments are from men hyping them up, not from straight women who find them attractive. Unlike women who are made to fit beauty standards to please men, men fit their own beauty standards to please other men and to keep portraying the superiority of masculinity, a man fitting society’s standards only benefits them and other men. They may only have sex with women and this is what makes them straight, however the people they respect, admire, form deep bonds with, who are always trying to gain respect from, are usually all male. Why? because society always thaught them that men were superior in all ways, they were thaught that men were always logical and the ones with respectable opinions. They were always thaught to stand up for each other because they were always right.

Recently i found out that a friend of mine had gotten in trouble with her boyfriend because he didn’t defend her against lowkey sexist comments. These sexist comments weren’t so obvious but you could still tell, her boyfriend who usually plays the part of “nice guy / feminist ally” and he constantly talked badly about the man who insulted her, but when they made those comments he preferred to ignore them and found a way in which the men were right. One of my ex male friends said he hated a group of men at our school because they were misogynist but once they started making sexist jokes with him, he preferred to laugh at them instead of calling them out and telling them their behavior was wrong so these men would accept him. I’m sure there are plenty of stories similar to this one, men always prefer to side with men they hate than with women they love.

If you ask yourself why men always defend each other, you must also ask yourself why women usually tear each other down.

The answer is simple, it’s the same as above. Usually women are socialized to put men above themselves, to respect men, to think that they’re inferior and men are always right, and most especially to think that they’re not worthy if men don’t like them. So women start to compete with each other for the attention of men, sometimes going out of their ways to do it. No matter their sexual orientation, it is natural.

Men also know there is power in packs, they know that if women united against them we would outnumber them, they know they need women to stay opressed so they can keep their privileges. So they start creating in-fights between women, you see the mean girl trope everywhere in media. When I was in high school all the girls were nice to me and we always supported each other, there wasn’t much gossip or back stabbing, but all I saw in series and movies were about how awful women were with each other and how mean girls would tear you down when they could. Don’t get me wrong, this does happen and sadly women do tear each other down but it’s not as common as the media wants you to think. The worst thing is when a woman gets betrayed by another and she starts thinking all women are the same and says something along the lines “I will only have male friends from now on, they’re actually nice to you and there’s no drama around them like with girls” as in men weren’t responsible for most violent crime in the world, as if those nice men weren’t being misogynistic behind their backs. But of course everyone believes the opposite and spreads these theories, because they know women united are dangerous and could beat them, they need women to hate each other to maintain their power. Basically like this article says: “As women come to consider being prized by men their ultimate source of strength, worth, achievement and identity, they are compelled to battle other women for the prize.”

Here is a video that helped me understand the reasons why women tear each other down and I encourage you to watch it:

There is a quote I found while researching that says:

“As nobody can do more mischief to a woman than a woman, perhaps one might reverse the maxim and say, nobody can do more good” - Elizabeth Holland

So although we are used to throw other women under the bus, imagine what could happen if we use all that energy to lift other women up and all the amazing things that would happen if all women united against our common opressor that it’s men and we fought for our freedom together. There is only one thing we must learn from men, and that is standing up for each other and always support the opinions of each other even if we don’t like the woman who is portraying that opinion. Of course it doesn’t mean we have to support women who do or say bad things just because they’re women, but our first instinct shouldn’t be putting other women down just because they’re women. This solidarity and class consciousness between women is what feminism is trying to achieve.

Also i'm sorry you went through that with your friends and I hope you can find better friends soon. I assure you there's plenty of good and supporting women out there! I hope my answer helps you.

[toomuchbroadwayquotes]

This might be ignored,its a long read, but if you want to have your forces restored on feminism my dead feminists i really wanted to share something that is making me tear up every 5 seconds.

As some of you might now, in my country (Brasil) we currently have a situation where our "president" is a misogynist (said he had a bunch of boys, they he went weak and have a daughter that's a "small" example for yall), homophobic ( said he would beat the gay out of his son if he ever "got it"), racist ( talking about killing native Indians and saying slaverism was a choice yadayada) anyways, just a piece of crap, we call him Bozo, like the clown. Well ever since his election we have been feeling so down (I'm sure my American friends can share the feeling). We are the country that kills more transexual people on the world. And it's not even illegal here, that would put into perspective. So, all this are real, serious problems, but bear with me as I get I little... naive maybe?. Well we had 20 seasons of BigBrother over here (Or BBB, Adding the Brasil at the end) and the show is on "the liberals tv channel, all the conservatives try to boycott it yadda yadda ") . But this season is just a gem. I feel like a revolution is happening and (I'm crying rn) I can't even put into words. Its gonna sound ridiculous, but you have to understand that 1) TV is a huge part of our culture, and is 100% connected with politics for us. 2)This show has been silencing woman, making men do anything they want without consequences and put woman as simple objects for their enjoyment. And somehow every year we wouldcomplain about how that was the reflection of our country. Something like this year edition NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE.

Our LGBT movies, Theather and books are being censoreds right now. Our country is on the verge of becoming a conservative doom.

The secretary of health system said :abstinence of sex is the best way to avoid DSTs and pregnancies. THATS HOW DEEP IN SHIT WE ARE. And we feel voiceless. Is like they are the majority you know?

Is like, you know when Katniss made every distric rebel by leading an example on the hunger games? Is THAT KIND OF SHIT. So, firsts things first:

I will introduce you the leaders of our current feminist movement

First, Thelma, she is not just ya regular powerful black queen. She is a doctor, with a bunch of degrees on stuff I can't even pronounce,she is specialized on anesthesia and she is a resident like those bad ass ones in grey's anatomy. She she is A BOSS. She is strong, and even though she is not 100% familiar with the feminism in "theory" she lives it in practice with out even knowing it ( now she knows, cause the other two are teaching her!) I want to make clear that on this reality show, the majority of the public has always been racist, and black people normally are eliminated first, yes it sucks and is one of the reasons I stopped watching a long time ago, as most of us millenials, but thank God we came back. She isn't going ANYWHERE CUZ WE ARE NOT LETTING THAT HAPPEN.

The second one is Marcela, every since the first we saw her she said loud and clear:I AM A FEMINIST, she is also a Doctor. She calls her self doctor unicorn, she is an OB/GYN and choose her career because she wanted to fully support her transexual brother /yess/, she is also expert on female sexuality and give classes about it, think Carina Deluca. She also takes care of sexual abuse victims. Oh yeah, she is bisexual as well. And everyone is shipping her with the next one btw.

Now our last warrior: Gizelly, She is a Lawyer, and she advocates for woman, she has suffered all the types of abuse from her ex husband and after all the trauma, she decided no one would do that to her again. Feminist, we call her the hurricane, she just shoots fire and defends any woman that is being belittled.

What happened was, some guys decided they would "seduce"any woman who was in a relationship outside the reality show, so they would look bad, and be eliminated easily. Wellx those 3 heard that, and they just couldn't get quiet. They went and tell all the girls about it. Some of them didn't believe them, the guys said they were CRAZY, and were LYING (what a shock)

The confrontation scene:

So one of them said: If I am lying, I will be eliminated this round. If I'm back, then you are the lier. So, regular reality show stuff right?

Here are some things you should know: Marcela, the leader ( as she was the one with the initiatives) was anonymous when she first got on the show, and 13 days later, she had 2 MILLION FOLLOWERS. Every feminist, every LGBT+ and ally on this country just woke up ya know?. We were all mad as hell that they were being treated as liars, but, and that's a HUGE but, the guy mentioned earlier was against one that was even worse. He was touching inappropriately the girls while they were completely DRUNK at the parties ( they wouldn't remember later), he was the one who actually made said plan mentioned before, but they didn't knew at the house because he was a completely different person when he was alone with the guys. A complete scumbag, he mocked and made fun of every woman on the house because of their looks etc. Sooo, all those millions of feminists watching were like : "do we take the biggest jerk and make the girls think we think they are lying or ?" Well, we decided to take the bigger toxic monster first, and left the other one for the next. But we had a special card. Every year, after the show starts, they put a glass house in the middle of a mall, with 4 candidates inside, we vote for 2 of them to be on the actual show yada yada. What happened was:people started showing off by the mall, with posters, begging for whomever got in the house to :"PLEASE TELL THE GIRLS EVERYONE BELIEVE THEM. THAT THEY ARE NOT LYING. THAT THEY HAVE MILLIONS OF SUPPORTERS. THAT HE ONLY CAME BACK BECAUSE THE OTHER WAS WORSE ETC"

So, last night was elimination day, the worst one got out with 80% elimination A victory for us (there were 4 people on this run, and one of them is a Black guy, fat, older than everyone else, and by history, he would obviously be the first eliminated but he was the one with LESS VOTES. AGAIN THIS IS UNPRECEDENTED IN OUR COUNTRY SPECIALLY SINC THE FOURTH PERSON COMPETING IS A CARISMATIC YOUNG KOREAN MAGICIAN YOUTUBER WITH A NETWORTH OF MILLIONS, BUT THE BLACK GUY WAS LESS VOTED THAN HIM, GUYS I CAN'T STOP WRITING IN CAPS.The second worst one tho, comeback celebrating, saying he knew he was right. Singing victory. The girls were crashed. No one understood and they all started crying and talking about how it was a reflection of our country, but that they wouldn't change their ideals etc. (Again, they didn't knew everything trash bag number one did, cuz he did it in secret so they thought it was an answer)... well, 2am, the couple from the glass house got in. And they told them. They said everything. How the public loves them, and the why the other one got out first, and how we knew they were saying the truth. This part is just a sweet ending for y'all. They then proceeded to get all the woman in one bedroom and talked and talked, they even explained to the ones who had some deep patriarchal mindset and were believing the boys up until that point, they had conversations about feminism, about not accepting to be treated that way, they cried, they were so relieved, it's silly because is a reality show, but last night everyone felt like we were supported. Like, people got our backs! People agree that we wont take that bullshit anymore. In other editions those guys would be the handsome guys that all the girls would die to be with, you know? But know they are the villains. It happened. The girls are not the crazy ones. They are not the powerless wones. They were the STRONG ONES forming OPINIONS, moving the big pieces on the board.

I can't even talk about how this will impact on many young girls, especially with all those girls having such strong stories you know? Today is a reality show but whatch us on the booting vote! Watch us at the March's. Just watch us. I'm telling y'all. Brasil is gonna turn this shit upside down.

Anyways here is a little clip of when our guardian Angel Dan, told the girls that they should trust Marcela's word

The relief the felt, we all felt. Having your word taken seriously after being called crazy and lier...

( even the production of the show tryied to deny the guys plan was real before the videos started pouring up, and they had to take back after saying on national television that Marcela was lying. Because that was the standard)

[themtmshow]

hey I'm a teenage girl and I'm just getting into this show and I feel like I'm not understanding how big it is/was? is there any modern day comparison you can make to help me understand? thanks! I love your blog!

First of all, I’m very sorry for the delay in answering you. Secondly, I’m so glad you like my blog and the show! I hope you are still enjoying both. And thirdly, I’m posting under a cut because this got ridiculously long, for which I apologize. I tried to give you a concise answer, I really did, but the question deserved so much more. If you hate reading long things, just ignore all my stuff and only read the quotes, which are blocked off. That should give you a pretty good idea anyway.

Your question is really good, but it’s a little tricky for me to answer, because I wasn’t actually alive when the show was first on the air. It’s also hard to answer because I assume you’re talking about the show’s cultural impact, and it’s sort of impossible to know what current show or movie is going to have that kind of impact 40 years from now.

But I think I would have to compare it to Wonder Woman. One of the reasons Wonder Woman is considered so important is that it had such a strong and well-rounded female protagonist, whose narrative revolves around her personal journey and not that of a man. It’s also  the first really successful superhero movie about a woman, and that’s not a genre where you see very many female main characters, so the movie is sort of groundbreaking in that way. The Mary Tyler Moore Show is similar because, as far as I know, it was the first time a working woman was portrayed on television as the lead of her own sitcom, which was quite revolutionary. And Mary herself is really important because although she wasn’t perfect, she was a strong, mature, rounded female character who carried her own story - not unlike Diana Prince.

Here’s a quote about Wonder Woman from an article by Carrie Witmer:

The thing that matters most about “Wonder Woman” is the portrayal of Wonder Woman/Diana Prince herself. Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman is a fully realized character. She’s emotional, confident, yet also insecure. She has hope and she has fear. She can love and lust and she can feel sadness and joy. She’s not just a beautiful face or hot body kicking ass.

Compare that to this quote about The Mary Tyler Moore Show, from a blog post by Erika Schmidt:

The Mary Tyler Moore Show was about a woman in her thirties living her life. Not within the context of her perfect marriage, or her continued wacky attempts to sneak into her husband’s show, or her quirky adventures as a mom/witch. It was, comparatively speaking, real. She worked, she dated. She threw terrible parties. Her friendships were of obvious and incalculable value. She was graceful, clumsy, timid, brave. She developed before our eyes. Mary Richards can’t be described in one sentence. And that is the point. That is what makes her a feminine icon.

The Wonder Woman comparison does break down a bit for a couple reasons: One, The Mary Tyler Moore Show actually drew a lot of heat from the feminist movement at the time, because people didn’t think it was going far enough. I haven’t seen any criticism of that sort about Wonder Woman, which doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, but it doesn’t seem to be as common. Two, Wonder Woman is a movie set in World War 1, and The Mary Tyler Moore Show is a sitcom set in the decade in which it originally aired. So it’s not a good comparison in terms of format.

I don’t actually watch that many TV shows, but one of the few shows I do enjoy is Brooklyn Nine-Nine. B99 is a sitcom set in the workplace that regularly brings up social issues in a sort of low-key, subtle way, and that’s also what The Mary Tyler Moore Show did. The Mary Tyler Moore Show brought up issues like equal pay and birth control, whereas Brooklyn Nine-Nine brings up things like transphobia and racial profiling, but on either show, it’s rarely done in a way that makes the issue the focus of the episode. And that can be very powerful.

Here’s a quote from an article about Brooklyn Nine-Nine by Alyssa Rosenberg:

“Brooklyn Nine-Nine” has always been unusual in the series’ ability to find unpredictable routes into a wide range of issues in contemporary policing. In four seasons, it’s tackled everything from the New York Police Department’s history of racism and homophobia, to the abuse of internal affairs investigations, to how different city agencies work together, to how overzealousness can influence even a good cop’s judgement.

Compare that to this quote from an article about The Mary Tyler Moore Show by Alexis Sottile:

Over the course of the show’s seven seasons, Mary evolved with the times, tackling infidelity, birth control, sex, job promotions and the general human condition with the same mix of pluckiness, aplomb and oh-shit-do-I-really-have-to-do-this that made her an accessible role model for the new woman – and a sympathetic character for those that were scared of this new breed.

I’ll give a specific example: In season 3, there’s a brief reference to Mary taking the birth control pill. It was just a tiny snippet of dialogue, but it helped shift societal opinions on women being sexually active outside of marriage, which was still very controversial in the 70s’. The book “Mary and Lou and Rhoda and Ted” by Jennifer Keishin Armstrong includes this quote (p. 172) by Treva Silverman, who was one of the head writers on the show:

Mary was a “nice girl,” in quotation marks… If Mary was taking the Pill, it gave the stamp of approval for sexuality.

Treva Silverman, in case you didn’t know, is a woman. And that’s another huge impact the show had: It actively sought out female writers at a time when there was still a huge stigma against women in television production. (Here’s a good article about that.)

The show actually motivated lots of women to enter the field of television, and not just the women they hired to write for the show. Mary Richards was a very inspiring figure. Here’s a quote from TV journalist Katie Couric:

I don’t think I’d have this job if it weren’t for Mary Richards, and I mean that. They say if you can’t see it, you can’t be it, and when I saw Mary Richards make it on her own, driving that Mustang to that TV station in Minneapolis, I was in junior high, I thought, “Wow, I can have a career too.”

Oprah Winfrey, who was the first ever female African American billionaire, credits Mary Tyler Moore with having “more influence on [her] career than any other single person or force.” And “Mary and Lou and Rhoda and Ted” includes this quote from her (p. 283):

[The Mary Tyler Moore Show] was a light in my life, and Mary was a trailblazer for my generation. She’s the reason I wanted my own production company.

Even beyond the world of television and journalism, women were inspired. Here’s a quote from former First Lady Michelle Obama:

She was one of the few single working women depicted on television at the time. She wasn’t married. She wasn’t looking to get married… I was probably 10 or 11 when I saw that, and sort of started thinking, “You know what? Marriage is an option. Having a family is an option. And going to school and getting your education and building your career is another really viable option that can lead to happiness and fulfillment.”

And here’s a quote from another of the shows’ writers, Sybil Adelman Sage:

Before Mary Tyler Moore, it was acceptable to be a secretary, but not to be unmarried. Suddenly it was fine to be unmarried, and we were reaching for better jobs. Along with that blue beret, the rules had been thrown in the air. The show was arguably the most transformative sitcom in television history, forever changing how women were perceived.

Another notable, although less talked-about, influence the show had is that it revolutionized the sitcom format in general.  If you’ve ever seen a realistic, character-driven comedy show with a strong cast of secondary characters, then you can thank The Mary Tyler Moore Show for making that format so popular. You can see that influence today in shows like The Office, Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock, The Mindy Project, Friends, and probably any other sitcom you can think of. (Here’s a good article about that.) I actually can’t think of a good modern-day comparison here because every sitcom I don’t know of anything that is visibly changing the television landscape as much as The Mary Tyler Moore show did in its time.

Here’s a quote from an article written by Jerry Buck as the show was entering its 4th season:

“The Mary Tyler Moore Show” took 20 years of pointless, insipid television situation comedy and spun it on its heels. The Moore show, going into its fourth year on CBS, pioneered reality comedy and the establishment of clearly defined and motivated secondary characters.

And according to this quote from a more recent article by Todd VanDerWerff:

Like [The Dick Van Dyke Show], Mary Tyler Moore would derive much of its comedy from its characters, rather than its punchlines. Where Moore went beyond Van Dyke came in just how thoroughly it embraced that template… [This] method of sitcom writing would, over time, become the dominant one. Even the least sophisticated sitcoms on TV now must at least pay lip-service to character complexity.

Another impact that the show had, and continues to have, is that it makes people happy. It’s just a really nice, positive, feel-good show. And that can be really important too. Here’s a quote from fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi:

[Mary Richards] proved to us again and again that if you put yourself into your world in the right way, if you pay attention to your own story, you can find the right people and the right place and be happy… The Mary Tyler Moore Show was one of the first examples of someone choosing her own family that we saw on television.

Honestly, I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface here. In case you’re not totally exhausted from reading all this and you’d like to read more on the subject, I’ve gone back through my blog and added an “impact” tag for you to look through if you’re interested. I should warn you that some of the posts reference specific episodes and that might be spoilers for you depending on where you’re at in the series.

Thanks again for your excellent question! If you have more questions or if you just want to chat, my askbox and private messaging system are always open for that.

[sagebodisattva]

MGTOW and Nihilism

Welcome, followers of MGTOW. Before we begin, just real briefly, for those who are watching this video and are unaware of what MGTOW is, the acronym stands for Men Going Their Own Way, and is the title for a movement by and for men. A few samples of definitions mined from the internet include:

“M.G.T.O.W., Men Going Their Own Way, is a statement of self-ownership, where the modern man preserves and protects his own sovereignty above all else. It is the manifestation of one word: “No”. Ejecting silly preconceptions and cultural definitions of what a “man” is. Looking to no one else for social cues. Refusing to bow, serve and kneel for the opportunity to be treated like a disposable utility. And, living according to his own best interests in a world which would rather he didn’t. MGTOW asserts that only you have the right to decide what your goals in life should be. It is saying that, as a man, I will not surrender my will to the social expectations of women and society, because both have become hostile against masculinity. MGTOW often talk about seeking “independence” from western and/or consumer culture, and a few MGTOW try to live that sort of Zen existence. Most of those who embrace the term have a deep hostility towards and/or profound distrust of feminists and women in general. Many MGTOW refuse to date “western women” and some try to avoid women altogether.”

Well, before we go any further, it should be noted that, just by being a MGTOW, you are a nihilist, plain and simple. And before you get all up in arms, relax, this is a good thing, and I mean this in a good way. After all, you are watching a video by the Meta Sage, and you could say that the Meta Sage channel is the flagship station of nihilism on the internet today. So, this isn't a disparaging title aimed to degrade you, nor is it indicative of a characterization that you are either depressed, violent, lazy, immoral or apathetic, but, meant just as a label that is reflective of a matter of truth and fact. Nihilism is a philosophical doctrine that suggests the negation of one or more reputedly meaningful aspects of life. MGTOW itself is a cornucopia of negations of normative meanings and values that are usually associated with the average life. Tossing out the investments into dating, sexual relations, marriage, child bearing, societal expectations, social and cultural traditions, and the disposal of all aspirations to emulate the role of a specific gender archetype, are all value subtraction equations, no matter how you slice it.

So, you have arrived at this point; so are you gonna live up to the name of MGTOW and really be a man that goes his own way, or are you gonna remain bitter and resentful of women and get stuck on moaning about it. If your aim is to be an activist and spend the rest of your life screaming from a rooftop about the inequities of women, it can't really be said that you have gone your own way. By doing this, you are still giving women power and importance by way of investing value judgements into their behavior, which continually provokes taxing anger and indignation, which, thereof, serves as validation by way of negative attention. Remember, negative attention is still attention. And eventually it gets to the point where, thou dost protest too much.

Are you really ready to move on from these values you have subtracted, or is this all just an elaborate ploy to continually sustain a platform on which to complain about women? If you consider yourself MGTOW, then you identify as such because, either you are a product of the so called “incels”; that is, a group of men who call themselves involuntary celibate, (which is just a round about way of saying, you can't get a girlfriend,) or, you are a man that has had girlfriends or a wife, but has been somehow royally screwed over by one. Either way, it's time to use all that time and energy you would normally waste on trying to jump through hoops for a female, or in complaining about a female, towards your spiritual growth. In other words, it's time to actually go your own way. And when I say "spiritual growth", I don't mean religion, or any other vague supernatural notion concerning a soul, or the divine, but rather, am more referring to what was implied earlier from the definitions of MGTOW, to seek to live, and know, a Zen experience of life.

You are not the first ones to renounce women, only the most recent ones. A man's struggle to find a suitable woman as a companion is nothing new. The inequities of women is not something new either. Granted, the modern western world seems to have gone berserk with many of these courtship issues, but this is mainly due to the explosion of a very shallow materialistic western culture coupled with overpopulation and the subsequent massive influx of mediocrity. Yes, women far outnumber men, and so most of the decent men out there are already taken; coupled up with compatible women and are currently in relationships. Of the small pool of men that are left, some are gay, some are in prison, some are homeless, and what remains are either the cads, that is to say, a few cavalier males, that are usually very confident with themselves and therefor unobtainable and unwilling to be pinned down, which makes them a very desirable albeit unrealistic ideal for a woman, the so called hidden fruit, so to speak, or the common average insecure desperate man that women generally don't want, but usually end up settling for; ie the bulk of what's out there. And of this bulk, the ones with the money or career get the girl, and then usually a subsequent knife in the back, aka, cheated on, divorced, child custody battle, paying alimony and child support, and the rest of the bulk get nothing, aka, Involuntary celibacy.

All of this, and yet somehow, we are still overpopulated. Go figure. And don't tell me that we're not overpopulated because of a fallacy of scarcity, or because we can fit the entire population of the world into the state of Texas... that isn't the point. The point is, the more you have of something, the less valuable it becomes. The significance and importance of the contributions of individuals are undermined by an over flooding of individuals, which drives down the value of individuality. Too much of anything isn't healthy, and humans are not excluded from this truth... of which, is also why I would encourage MGTOW's to dig even deeper into philosophy and to check out anti-natalism, which is not too far of a stones throw from your current positional mindset. You see, I'm waiting to see the fourth wave of feminism, wherein women reject procreation... but honestly, I don't think they have the balls for that.

But anyway, MGTOW man, now that you are not tied up in chasing the meaningless mundane pursuit of conquering a woman; of which, doesn't lead to enlightenment, and will, given enough time, only lead to having babies, which will seriously jeopardize your pursuit of an awakening, because having a child is almost always indicative of passing on the buck; why not use your newly found freedom to investigate the inner connectivity of reality with the mind?

This is what all people should be investigating: the secrets concerning the source of attention, instead of wasting all our time being desire whores and value junkies. Honestly, I enjoy people's disillusionment. I enjoy it, not because I enjoy people's suffering, which is how your average sheeple of righteous indignation would like to portray it as, but because disillusionment is what ultimately leads a sheeple to a place where he or she can finally have an opportunity to possibly discover the truth of awareness. In order to arrive in such a place, often a feeling of disappointment resulting from the discovery that something is not as good as one believed it to be, is required. Whether it be a disillusionment due to let downs associated with school, politics, religion, work, justice, fairness, the opposite sex, or expectations of success in some field of interest, doesn't matter... the seeds for a possible enlightenment could potentially be planted, depending on whether or not this disillusionment leads to nihilism, or to a wounded ego that is gonna play the victim because it still deep down desires what it is disappointed in, and is just bruised from rejection. I root for the former.

Hey, I have an idea. Instead of getting a gun and shooting up a school, a movie theater or a nightclub, drop the value of the investment into that which is facilitating your malcontent disposition, and instead, meditate. Instead of spending all day as a keyboard Rambo, posting diatribes on online message boards, explore the inner connectivity of reality and the mind. Instead of indulging in the poignancy and resentment that comes with the territory of playing the victim, take responsibility for your reality and incorporate a little existential nihilism in your life. Don't swear off women as a means of protest, swear them off and then close that chapter of your life. Truly let go of the value you have placed on the gratification you receive from female companionship, courtship, sexual relations, union and family.

MGTOW is a good thing. It's an excellent beginning, but there is still much more work to be done. There is more conditioning to unlearn, and more attachments to let go of. It doesn't end with women. Welcome to nihilism, where you will deconstruct every attachment, every convention and every expectation. For you MGTOWers that are curious to find out a little more about nihilism, I recommend searching through my video library to find out some more useful information, for this is one of the only places where you will find the subject treated honestly and not demonized or maligned with a negative connotation.

[roaminginspiration]

I'm going to make it clear that I'm not with any ship I prefer independent Kara, but you really like what they're doing on the show with her snatching her feminist stance from the first season, it would not be better if they waited for Mon-El to be at same level as Kara and make a relationship of equals instead of this so anti-feminist? Maybe you ignore me but I had to ask

Hello anon,

Thanks for your ask. 

I think you’re confusing independent and single. Being in a relationship doesn’t exclude being independent, as it means making your own decisions and owning up to your opinion. To me, in retrospect, Kara was less independent in season 1 than she is now in season 2.

She spent a whole season secretly pining for a man who was committed to a romantic relationship without ever really moving on. Kara kept gravitating around him, and he let her; and ke kept gravitating around her in a way that she could never really move on.

Also, romances aside, Kara was very much dependent to Alex and Cat. Remember all those times Kara sought advice or even support from either or one of them. After Cat left, Kara lost her mentor, and as such, had to learn to trust her own judgment and make choices without waiting on anybody’s input first.

Kara is now in a relationship with Mon-El but she is more independent that she ever was in season 1 and this is what their bickering/arguments let on. Even after just getting together with him, she didn’t let herself influenced by Mon-El’s suspicions towards Jeremiah, and when she eventually did, it wasnt because she wanted to please her boyfriend but because she realized that her father’s behavior was off. 

As for Mon-El not being at her level, I will skip the part about how love looks beyond flaws and prejudices because it’s cheesy and I will go straight to the message that the writers want to relay. It is about acceptance: accepting that people with their differences can offer as much as anybody else. Mon-El is far from perfect but he’s still a good person who just needed a little push to reveal it. That is how we, as an audience, have watched Kara transition from mentoree to mentor. She made some mistakes along the way (2x05 for example) and achieved successes (2x09 when she inspired him to want to become a superhero) and this new role has been a whole journey to developing a new side of Kara. 

This is when you realize, that by ‘changing’ Mon-El, she changed too; she became this strong, independent and determined woman who cannot be stopped. And see what happened in the last episode: when Snapper fired her, she didn’t turn to James or Cat to get her job back -like she had at the beginning of the season- because she has become this confident woman who is aware that making difficult decisions can often come with severe consequences. And this was one of them. Sure she was sad but she wasn’t unsettled like her world had just crumbled, which is why she said “being Supergirl and having you is enough”, not because her life revolves around her boyfriend but because she’s thinking like an adult who looks at things clearly and with emotional distance and that is because she’s gained so much confidence that she knows she will find another job, eventually. In this season, Kara has built herself solid bearings (and yes, Mon-El is her romantic one just like Alex is another one of them) that she can keep sight of whenever a situation goes rocky. 

Mon-El isn’t her everything (as the word dependent would suggest), he is one of the things that matter in her life and that she can turn to when she needs it. And that is what being in a relationship means, it means choosing to lean on another person, to listen to their opinion and trust their judgment or choosing not to follow it if you disagree.

Which is exactly what Kara has been doing with Mon-El and even more than when she was that single (indeed), unconfident girl who ran to Cat, James or Alex every time she felt things diverted from their normal/usual path.

Sorry for the rant, but I hope it will help you get a glimpse of my perspective. :)