#i will be pulling 119 sets out of my ass

[lover-of-mine]

Buddie Countdown to Season 7:

119 days.

[fatesdeepdive]

Entry 119: Amen

We’ve reached the end.

Revelation Chapter 27: Hear My Cry

The shadow mist that flew out of Gunter flies into the big stone head on the wall. It comes to life, now possessed by Anankos. Corrin says that Anankos has been toying with them for too long. Anankos says it isn't wrong to manipulate humans, because they exist solely for the amusement of dragons. Anankos asks why he was left to suffer and die, why humans flourish while he is burried in a dead world, ignored and forgotten. It's because you destroyed Valla, dickhole.

Jokes aside, Anankos having a crisis about being forgotten isn't a bad idea. The concept of an ancient god, now no longer worshipped, angry about being forgotten is decent. Too bad it's relegated to a couple of throwaway lines.

Corrin answers Anankos by hitting him with a sword, because Corrin is an articulate speaker. This fails, because swords don't cut through giant stone statues generally. Anankos says that, because Corrin is part of his bloodline, he will make Corrin his vessel. Xander and Anakos rush in and get their asses handed to them by Anankos’s laser breath. Anankos also attacks Azura, because dancers are OP.

The legendary weapons randomly start glowing and Yato transforms into its true form, a flaming golden chainsaw sword called Omega Yato. AKA the legendary Fire Emblem.

This chapter uses the same map as the last one, with Anankos serving as the boss. There are Dragon Veins that can be used to make healing tiles. As an aside, I'd like to praise Anankos's design in this chapter. The decayed statue works well for a forgotten god and is visually unlike anything else in the series. The moments where the head rears out from the wall, revealing there's an eldritch monster wearing it, and the moments where the jaw of the mask breaks apart so Anankos can shoot lasers are creepy.

Anankos is a powerful enemy who has bullshit skills that negate stat drops, poison, statuses, Lethality, Counter, and damage after battle from Poison Strike and similar skills. It also halves damage from all weapons but Omega Yato, which is instead reduced by 25%, and reduces the damage from criticals and activation skills. This final battle is lactose intolerant. Fortunately, Xander and Takumi were strong enough to beat him down.

After being defeated, Anankos summons Garon to give him a power boost. Garon tells Anankos to fuse with him so they can rule together. Anankos laughs and eats Garon. The Nohrians are given a single line of mourning each. Anankos then brags about getting his power back. The stone mask cracks, revealing four red eyes. The monster body retracts into a hole. The palace explodes as Anankos's real form, a bigass dragon, flies away. Dragon Anankos summons a fucking black hole, which sucks in all of the rubble of the palace and eventually entire flying islands as he rears up to attack.

So, power scaling is kinda dumb, but Corrin and company don’t get sucked in, meaning they can casually shrug off the pull of a black hole. This makes Corrin arguably one of the strongest characters in Smash.

Revelation Endgame: Anankos

Takumi and Leo say that they can't possibly beat Anankos's dragon form. Xander said he never thought his final moments would be alongside a Hoshidan prince; Ryoma messes up the Legolas quote because he hasn't seen Return of the King. Ryoma says he'll meet his end on his feet. Corrin says to not give up and that they can win through teamwork!

The setting for this final chapter is cool. The black hole makes the sky change to a beautiful starry night, for some reason, with Anankos taking up half the map. Dragon Anankos is a pale dragon covered in spikes, with sharp black nails and rotting wings filled with holes. The dragon's head has no eyes; in his jaw, it holds a giant green orb covered in red eyes, which I assume is Anankos's soul. An excellent remix of Lost in Thoughts All Alone plays as the battle begins. Unfortunately, despite the game giving me dozens of different units, I was only allowed to bring a paltry 12.

There are a few enemies milling about in this chapter, but the main threat is Anankos. You first have to kill Anaknos’s two arms, which causes him to lower his head. Anankos hits like a truck. His attack animation has a tree grow out of his head as he shoots out an energy ball. It looks cool but I don't know what the significance is. I split up my army, with Takumi and Kenshi taking out the two hands, while Corrin took on the central head. Corrin was unable to fell the head in a single blow, so I resorted to callously throwing my units away through an endless parade of human wave tactics. Setsuna, of all people, managed to dodge a lethal dragon breath attack and kill Anankos with a counterattack.

Psyche! There’s a third form that is just the eye ball! This final form tore through my army. I sacrificed Takumi to get the eye weak and attacked with Corrin, who just barely failed to kill the god. I had Kenshi Galeforce boost back to the center and attack over Corrin’s shoulder with a shuriken. This didn’t work, but Corrin killed Anankos with a pair-up attack. If I felt like it, I could wax philosophically about friendship and bonds killing a god.

Anankos dies, the black hole disappears, and everyone celebrates. The game cuts to the throne room, where Azura crowns Corrin ruler of Valla as their siblings watch. Yay! Corrin is the ruler of a dead kingdom without any subjects! Corrin thanks Xander and Ryoma for donating land to rebuild Valla, but the fact remains, who the hell is going to live there? Also does the curse still exist?

Corrin pledges to believe in their people and works for their betterment. Everyone says Corrin will be a good ruler, as Gunter watches from a distance. Corrin and Azura meet by the lake. Corrin says Azura should be the leader, but she counters that they stopped Anankos and were chosen by Valla. Azura sings the song and Corrin speculates it's about them. Azura says Anankos wrote the song, so it could be used one day to save him by killing him. Corrin and Azura vow to write a new verse to the song, together.

In the final anime cutscene, Xander and Ryoma stand on a green hillside and vow to keep peace. Hinoka and Camilla say they will all be bound by this vow. Elise and Sakura say they're friends now. Takumi says he wishes it were that easy to forgive, but Leo says that healing can only begin with trust. Everyone turns to Corrin as the two kings swear to their people, countries, and Mary Sue sibling.

It sure is good that this ending fixes the massive economic issues in Nohr that force the country to result to raids on neighboring countries for supplies and also fixes the lingering resentment Hoshidans feel over the decades of constant slaughter of civilians at the hands of Garon!

I don’t know who my MVP was because I accidentally skipped the credits. Let’s say Kenshi.

Closing Thoughts

Revelation is a bit of a mess. There are things I like. The idea of a golden ending where everyone unites is cool. Mikoto and Sumeragi coming back as ghosts is interesting. Gunter was a good villain, even if the writing regarding Scarlet’s murder was haphazard. Valla at least looks amazing.

But, I can’t deny this route has heavy, heavy flaws. The first half of the route is mostly retreading the other two, with characters reduced to single lines of dialogue and major plot points tossed aside, and feels like filler. It picks up once the gang gets to Valla, only to grind to a halt with the Anthony arc. The idea of new lore and ancient secrets is appealing, but that isn’t really given. All of the depth to Anankos’s character is relegated to DLC chapters and Valla is a boring country, free from any culture or depth. The ad-hoc worldbuilding and dumb character decisions return from Conquest, but at the same time, Corrin being a decent character returns from Birthright.

The reliance on gimmick maps is far more common than in the other routes, and while I do appreciate attempting to make maps unique, many of them are just annoying to play. The game gives you an absolutely massive army, but never gives you a chance to use this bigger army.

Revelation exists to give a happy ending where everyone lives, a route where you can recruit dozens of soldiers and customize your army as much as you want. And it succeeds at being that. But, as this epic finale, this ultimate battle against the ultimate villain, it falls woefully short. And as a result, I think it’s my least favorite of the three routes.

I’m not done yet with Fire Emblem Fates. I still have a few more DLC chapters, most notably the Heirs of Fate Xenologues, and would like to end this blog with my honest thoughts on every character. But, for now, let’s close the book on this chapter of Fates.

[papergirllife]

Lee Jeno

'You ease Jeno's frustrations during a late night recording session."

Warnings : unprotected sex, cockwarming, generally quite fluffy.

Word count : 1.8k

You were in your pajamas at 1 a.m. in the morning, still in the company because your boyfriend is trying to record the best version of his verse in the recording booth a few feet away, his black denim jacket draped across your chest to shield you from the cold.

You were going through your own lyrics, making a few changes here and there to make sure the flow of the song suits you, working in a low volume to avoid disturbing Jeno, who was already getting antsy from this certain verse.

When you were done, you placed the pencil on the desk and got up from your seat, walking to the booth where Jeno had his handsome face in a frown.

“You okay, Jeno? Aren’t you cold in here?” you asked as you took his jacket off of you, draping it back onto his broad shoulders.

“I'm feeling fine, you should use it,” Jeno said shortly before he takes it off, putting it onto you again.

“But you're just in a tank, and you have to perform on stages very soon, you can't catch a cold,” you argued before trying to take it off once more, only to be stopped by Jeno’s hands.

“I'm fine, you're the one who's sensitive to the cold, I don't want you to get sick because of me, I didn't ask for you to be here with me, and still you showered and came back here to be with me, I'm sorry for eating up our time, I know I promised to have a night in with you,” Jeno said with a sad tinge to his usually cheerful eyes before reaching out for you, embracing you into his warmth.

“I know how important this comeback is for you, I wanted to stay here with you because I'm stubborn and that's on me, not you,” you said before turning your body to tuck yourself closer into Jeno, giving his bicep a quick peck before burying your head into his neck, the familiar scent of cologne filling your lungs.

Jeno let's out a chuckle at this odd but familiar action, you started doing this since the day Jeno had started working out on his arms more, every little thing he does you’d always be proud of it, which is why you're so different from everyone else, Jeno feels safe with you, the fact that the both of you absolutely adore each other irks his members out, but he doesn’t care, not when he only has eyes for you.

“I love you,” Jeno said without hesitation, it's always been like this for the two of you, saying these three words whenever you felt like it, communication between the two of you has always been good, though it hasn't always been like this.

There was a time at the beginning of the relationship where Jeno only knew how to show his love through actions, fearing that it may seem too pushy if he constantly speaks up about his emotions, being a guy and all, but your reassurance of loving to hear everything he has to say, as well as those doe eyes of yours that always have a hundred percent focus on him, had given him a sense of comfort, and so he now speaks whatever that comes to mind when he's with you, most often 'I love yous', it could be in the morning when you wake up, or moments like this where there are uncertainties in his head, you’re his rock.

“I love you too, Jeno,” you said it back before pulling away slightly to kiss him, pulling him closer again by looping your hands around his nape, playing with the strands of hair there as you bit on his bottom lip gently before feeling a sudden grip on your hip, a gasp falling from your lips just to give Jeno the opportunity to dominate the kiss, getting you right where he wanted you to be, under his control.

Jeno tasted like the chocolate mint balls he was having just now, a mixture of sweet chocolate and invigorating mint clouding your senses, the taste so addictive that you licked at his tongue just to taste more, but soon Jeno pulled away, noticing that you were running out of breath, your forehead lolled against his, a sign that he was all too familiar with.

“Slow down, baby, what's got you so worked up?” Jeno asked as he peppers kisses down your neck sloppily, he knows he can't mark you without your manager lecturing you, so he'll just have to manoeuvre himself to the valley of your breasts, popping open the buttons of your pajamas to reveal that you've worn a set that had no padding, the tips of your nipples would've been obvious it weren't for how loose your shirt was.

“Remember the last time we fucked in here? You had a writer’s block for stronger and 119, I want to be your muse again, Jen,” you reminded him as you trailed your hand at the hem of his tank, palming his abs that you go crazy over, you must be the luckiest girl ever, to find a guy who’s as hot as he’s talented in his career, not to mention the sinful things he does with those dancer hips.

Jeno chuckled at that fond memory, recalling Jaemin’s horrid expression when he found the two of you in such a state.

“You do know that this is ANL right?” gesturing at the lyrics on the stand.

“Which is a highly suggestive yet quite a fluffy song, we have to set the mood in order for you to actually gain some inspiration, no?” you said before you pulled off his shirt, throwing it somewhere behind you.

“Greedy aren't you?” Jeno said as he tips your chin higher to get a good look at you in the dim lights, admiring your swollen lips and the lust in your eyes, all because of him.

“Well, you can't pen my name down for these songs, the least you can do is give me a good fuck to remember it by,” you said with those seductive eyes of yours looking into his hooded ones before reaching down his pants, a jolt from his cock at your freezing hands.

“Whatever my baby wants, whatever she gets am I right?” Jeno said before manoeuvring you to your back facing his, letting your ass feel his hard on.

You placed your hands on the stool that Jeno previously sat in, arching your back for him to easily access the situation.

Jeno pulls your sweats and panties down hanging them onto the stand, you purse your lips at the sight, hoping that none of your arousal gets onto the surface, but before you could make up your mind whether to tell Jeno to place your clothing somewhere else, Jeno had spread your folds with two fingers, a hand coming up to swipe at your slit teasingly before pinching your clit lightly in between his thumb and index finger, combing a moan out of you, legs jolting at the sudden pleasure, you were always sensitive there.

“Fuck, baby, I barely touched you and you’re dripping wet, didn't know you were this worked up,” Jeno said by your ear, his voice a few octaves lower.

Jeno enters two fingers in one go, making you buckle your knees at the sudden intrusion, not expecting it so soon, the feeling of his rough finger pads reaching deep into you, searching for that one spot, and when he found it, it felt like the first taste of heaven, a whimper falling from your lips as you held onto the stool harder, preparing for what's to come.

Jeno thrusted his fingers in a moderate pace before sliding in a third, making a scissoring motion to open you up for his large cock.

When he deemed that you were wet enough, Jeno shoved his pants and boxers down to his knees, impatient for the warmth in between your legs.

Jeno positioned himself at your entrance, pushing in an inch before slamming himself into you.

“Fuck, Jeno!” you could feel how full you were now, and how he fits perfectly inside you, his tip dangerously close to your sweet spot, you just need him to move.

“Jeno, you can move now, please,” you begged, breathless as your mind is still registering the feeling of this euphoria.

Jeno clenches his jaw in concentration before pulling out of your sweet pussy slightly, before thrusting back in, starting a quick and shallow pace, the way your warm walls were clenching onto him was making him lightheaded from the immense pleasure, but he knows he has to get his shit together if he wants to actually finish up recording tonight.

Jeno grips onto your hips as he builds up his pace, pistoning his dick inside of you hard and fast as he hears your screams of pleasure, the sound echoing in this small booth, encouraging him to go faster as he gets addicted to this sweet melody.

You held onto the stool for your dear life as you felt the knot in your abdomen slowly unwinding, a sign that you’re nearing your edge.

“I'm gonna cum, Jen, cum with me, please,” you said before purposely clenching onto his dick.

“Fuck, baby, I’m not gonna last any longer if you keep doing that,” Jeno said in one breath, before focusing back onto chasing both your highs, a hand moving to your breasts to pinch your nipples with the perfect amount of pain, he knows how much of a pain slut you are for him, and that was exactly what pushed you over the edge.

You felt your body convulsing as you orgasmed, the knot snapping free as the screams of Jeno’s name tumble from your lips as you let Jeno continue.

Jeno came only a few sloppy thrusts, after you, biting onto your shoulder as he came, giving a few hard thrusts to ride out both your highs, and just so he could bury his cum inside you, letting both your juices mix.

When both of you were done, Jeno moved your limp body expertly on top of his as he took a seat onto the stool, him still inside of you, your head tucked by his left shoulder, picking up where he had left off just now.

“You're right baby, you really are my muse,” Jeno said before humming a tune, then correcting some errors on the sheet.

“Well, good to know I was helpful, now if you'll excuse me, I need to clean up,” you said before trying to get up.

Jeno's left hand grips onto your hips, restricting you from leaving.

“Stay for a bit, I'm finishing up soon, then I'll clean you up, I'm sure you’re too tired to walk now, get some rest,” Jeno said as he pats your head gently, something he does that oddly lulls you to sleep.

“Okay, just don't overwork yourself,” you said before drifting off to sleep on your boyfriend’s shoulder, your very own human pillow.

[armysantiny]

Reckless - DSC

Pairing: Sicheng (Winwin) x female reader || WayV

Genre: fluff, angst, comfort

Includes: motocross racer reader, tournaments, established relationship, crashes, head injury, broken arm, Mark mention, news headline, hospital visit, overnight stay, falling unconscious, concussion, Renjun mention, Donghyuck mention, Jeno mention, hot chocolate, eating breakfast together, teasing, domestic fluff

Word count: 3.31k

Warning: hospital, injury, concussion, broken arm

Rating: 12

Networks:@kwritersworld, @kdiarynet, @kpopscape, @ultkpopnetwork, @kpopficsnetwork, @kpopcontentcreatorsclub, @k-dinernet, @lovesick-net, @whipped-kpop-creators, @prism-nw, @k-library, @neoswitchnet, @nct-writers, @nctcreations

Tagging: @teeztheflag, @intokook, @cherry-hyejin

Summary: : After ending her tournament on a high, y/n takes Sicheng to the practice track for a few spins on her bike. Opting to watch her instead, he warns y/n not to injure herself; she does need to rest after her race. Promising to try and be as careful as she can, y/n takes her bike on a few laps of the track. When she takes her eyes off the track for just a moment, she sends the bike and herself flying into the ground.

An: My first collab fic! (I’m kinda ehh about this tho-)

Champagne, cameras, crowds; winning the national championship - y/n had done it. As she ran into Sicheng’s arms in front of the cameras, he spun her around. Setting his girlfriend down, he pulled her in for a soft kiss. A kiss that held a thousand meanings; longing, congratulations, you did it, I’m proud of you, well done, y/n. Pulling away and seeing the stars in each other’s eyes, the couple stayed like that, the cameras capturing their moment - as if they were the only ones in the world at that moment.

“Shall we get out of here? I think I’ve seen enough cameras to last a lifetime.”

Sicheng couldn’t describe just how proud he was of y/n; seeing her win a tournament after she had returned from a dip in motivation felt like a scene out of a drama. Except it wasn’t a drama: this was y/n, this was real. His hand intertwined with hers, the couple walked through the streets of Seoul and simply enjoyed each other’s company. As they stopped to cross the street, a cheeky grin made its way onto his face as he quickly pressed a kiss to y/n’s cheek. When she looked to Sicheng, he turned away immediately, a bashful series of giggles falling from him as he walked across the crosswalk with y/n. With the blush on her face dying down, y/n scoffed to herself, shaking her head. Gosh, he was endearing. 

Somehow, they ended up at the race track not that far from their shared apartment, and y/n was already eying the practice bikes they kept in the shed. Sicheng knew that look in her eyes all too well, and it already seemed like a bad idea in his head. Didn’t y/n just come back from a race tournament? It wasn’t that he wanted her away from what made her happy, but he missed her dearly. A little quiet time together before she hit the tracks again would be more than ideal.

“Baby...you only just returned home today, I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to get back in your gear tomorrow.” An effort to persuade y/n was made, but it wasn’t strong enough, because with nothing more than a pout, some aegyo and ‘please baby~’, Sicheng’s resolve crumbled. He was whipped for y/n, and it showed. A lot. With a sigh, he ruffled her hair and nodded, a smile finding its way onto his face. Giggling, y/n kissed her boyfriend on the cheek and took her long coat off, asking Sicheng to hold it as she went over to the garage. Picking out a bike that she used frequently, y/n changed into gear and pushed the bike out to the track.

As Sicheng took a seat by a bench, his phone rang whilst he was watching y/n, making sure that was safe. Looking at the caller, he chuckled to himself. 

“Mark! How are you?” The younger male across the line was bouncing with excitement, the news article on his computer. Being the couple’s mutual younger friend, he was practically treated like a little brother.

“Hyung! Oh my gosh - have you seen the article?! Your relationship is viral!” He exclaimed, the article in question running with the headline; ‘Motocross champion in a loving relationship. How long has this been going on?’. As far as tabloid news articles went, it was definitely a much kinder title than what could’ve been developed. Listening to Mark ramble on while y/n drove a few laps around the track, Sicheng burst out laughing at Mark’s impression of some of their friends. And this caught y/n’s attention, for better or for worse. To her detriment, y/n turned her head towards her boyfriend as she approached a corner, however, she failed to control her bike. Before the professional racer knew what was going on, she was sent flying off of her bike and into the metal chairs - that had been stacked up and stored under a shelter -  her bike getting caught on the barriers. The sound of the crash itself was by no means quiet, as multiple chairs collapsed and fell on top of y/n.

As the crash happened, Sicheng’s gaze was ripped from the sky towards the fallen bike, and soon the chairs. A panicked horror fell on his face and he immediately hung up on the younger friend, running down towards the track and to the mess of chairs that had covered y/n.

“Y/n! Oh dear God… I told you to be careful!” His heart dropped out of his chest when y/n  didn’t respond for a few seconds - although it felt like an eternity - and Sicheng feared the worst. As the adrenaline flooded his veins, the 23-year-old started pulling the chairs away, discarding them every-which-way as he tried to find y/n. Once a majority of the chairs were out of the way, he pulled her to his chest, cradling her unconscious - but thankfully alive - body. Hands still trembling, he fumbled with his phone as he dialled 119. His voice trembled as he described his situation, a shaky sigh of relief when help was confirmed. Putting the call on speaker and leaving it next to him, Sicheng held y/n’s face in his hands. 

He didn’t like this. He didn’t like any of it.

He hated seeing her like this.

The tremble in his voice turned to whimpers as he ran his hand through her hair. But something felt off. Pulling his hand away, a stifled cry fell from him when his hand came back stained red. Blood. Y/N was bleeding from the back of her head. How hard did she hit her head..? Sicheng’s eyes warmed with tears as he brushed his girlfriend’s hair out of her face, a thumb tracing over her shut eyes. Soon, he could feel the tears drip down his face and he made no attempt to wipe them away, simply letting them stain his cheeks. If only he hadn’t distracted her, then she wouldn’t be unconscious. Then y/n wouldn’t be laying in his arms, bleeding from her head.

The sound of sirens brought the 23-year-old back to reality and Sicheng raised an arm up to grab the paramedics’ attention. Surrounded by paramedics, they brought y/n onto a stretcher and into the ambulance that had accompanied them. Still trembling as he tried to explain what had just happened, Sicheng was brought to the ambulance afterwards and given a glass of water to drink as the doors closed and they were driven to the hospital. His leg bounced as he grew more and more panicked, eyes blurring up with tears again as he looked over to y/n. The irony was painful, and it still didn’t register to Sicheng that only a few hours ago y/n was awake and joking around with him.

A few hours later, Sicheng was sitting in y/n’s room, on a chair close to her bed. Her hand enclosed in his, he rubbed his thumb over her palm subconsciously while he replayed the crash in his head over and over again. Getting up to walk off the anxiety, he turned to the door when he heard a series of knocks. Walking to open the door, he was met by a panicking Mark, who looked like he’d seen a ghost. Seeing y/n laid on the bed, his face fell. Lying unconscious in a hospital bed didn’t suit the motocross racer at all. He looked at Sicheng and his eyes said more than he could ever say with words. A hand on the older male’s shoulder, Mark sighed before he spoke.

“Hyung, why don’t we go outside for a bit? Y/n’s still going to be right here.” He suggested, hoping that Sicheng would agree and go to the courtyard with him. Fresh air would do them both some good. Nodding, Sicheng exhaled and grabbed his coat, which had been draped over the chair he was sitting on. With one last look at y/n, the older of the two opened the hospital room door and they left the room, making their way to the courtyard.

Handing Sicheng an iced caramel latte, Mark sat down on the bench and took a sip of his own drink. Neither of them knew what to say, but they both knew that they had to stay positive about it. Sicheng was the first to bring his attention away from the floor, looking at Mark.

“Do you think she’ll actually take a break after she recovers?” He asked, his features softening.

“She definitely won’t want to, but Noona really should take a break. A few weeks away from her bikes won’t kill her.” The brunet responded, a conviction in his voice. Y/n was brave, but sometimes too reckless for her own good and today proved that effortlessly. They both had a lingering feeling that they’d have to force y/n to take a break.  Staying like that for the meantime, both were lost in thought until Mark’s phone rang; he was needed back in his apartment. Renjun was seconds from beating Donghyuck up and Jeno did not want to be the one in between it. Although, he did agree to film if anything did happen. 

“Hyung, I’m sorry - I gotta go. Renjun’s going to beat Hyuck’s ass-”

“Go on, and send me the video later.” Sicheng chuckled, patting Mark’s shoulder in the reassurance that he’d be okay. A quick goodbye, and soon Mark was making his way out of the hospital, getting a taxi and heading to his shared apartment before he would be greeted by a screaming Donghyuck. Watching the younger male leave with an amused smile, Sicheng hummed to himself before he figured it was time he headed back to y/n.

Returning to his girlfriend’s hospital room, he sat back in his chair, his hand holding hers once again. The sun had started setting outside as his eyes felt heavy, and Sicheng could tell he’d most likely end up spending the night in the hospital. Pulling his chair closer to y/n’s bedside, he laid his head on the mattress, facing his girlfriend as he let the urge to sleep take over. A nurse who happened to be passing by peeked inside the room and smiled gently, almost parent-like. Going into the storage room, they picked out a pillow and blanket for Sicheng as he slept through the night shift.

By morning light, the sunlight had just started to fall on y/n’s face, and the motocross racer’s skin glowed in the early morning rays. Eyes opening with a low groan, she looked around at her surroundings, a brow raised in confusion. Why exactly was she in the hospital? Wasn’t she riding her motorbike when- oh right…

She crashed. Headfirst. That was why she was lying in a hospital bed, dazed and with a throbbing headache. Wonderful. A soft smile on her face when she saw Sicheng asleep, y/n sat herself up - albeit slowly and with a lot of effort - and reached forward to lace her fingers through his hair. Stopping when the sleeping brunet started opening his eyes, y/n’s hand stayed in her boyfriend’s hair. Yawning as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, Sicheng’s eyes formed into an ‘ㅇ’ when he noticed the pillow and blanket.

“Oh? One of the nurses must have-” words getting caught in his throat when he ran his hands through his hair and ended up feeling y/n’s own hand in his hair. Turning to face y/n in hopes that he wasn’t simply just imagining things, his eyes almost didn’t process what he was seeing until Y/N smiled, amused by the shock on his face. It was cute, she had to admit.

“Y-y/n, you’re…”

“Awake?” She answered, her voice a tad hoarse.  Reacting immediately and pulling her into a hug, Sicheng exhaled, content with staying like that for a few minutes - in hope that y/n being awake wasn’t a dream. Releasing her from the hug, Sicheng held her hands in his, stars in his eyes.

“How, how do you feel?... You scared me, you know?” Sicheng asked, peacefully admiring how his girlfriend looked in the morning - despite the bandages, IV and cute but unruly bed hair. Throat still dry, y/n shrugged.

“My head’s killing me, that’s for sure. Uh - what, what did the doctors say?” She asked, curious as to exactly how bad her injury was. The way Sicheng grimaced before answering wasn’t helping either. Preparing for the worst, y/n braced herself for the news. What if she couldn’t ride bikes again from that point on? Her career couldn’t be over that quick-

“Well, you got a pretty bad concussion, and they want to see if you’ve broken anything.” Sicheng explained with a sigh, indicating her elevated arm. Y/n had gotten away with concussions before - it was nothing new. Workplace incidents, that sort of thing. But if she had broken a bone, there was no way she’d be allowed to go anywhere near a motorbike until she was fully healed. Which would be a minimum of a month off the tracks, at least.

“I hope it isn’t broken.”

Getting the x-ray done was the easy bit; keeping her arm in place, letting the doctors do what they had to do, simple. It was the waiting for the results that was the hard part. Although it was only a few hours, y/n’s train of thought wasn’t letting up. The worry was eating away at her. Distracting herself by staring out of the window, even that was proving to be of little help. Biting at her lip as she went through what she’d do in the event that she did break her arm, y/n hadn’t noticed the nurse walking up to her bedside until Sicheng had repeatedly tapped her leg, an amused grin on his face after he had gotten a cup of water for the both of them. Shaking her head and turning to the nurse, y/n waited for the news.

“How bad is it?” Y/n asked, a blend of hesitation and hope in her voice.

“You’re quite lucky, Miss L/n, you had a pretty nasty crash. Apart from your concussion, you’ve sustained a mild fracture in your right arm.” The nurse answered, a polite smile on their face as they broke the news as best they could. As y/n took in the news that she’d ended up with a broken arm, she exhaled, thanking the nurse for letting her know. There was a pause in the room as the couple were left alone, an amused realisation and chuckle coming from the professional bike racer.

“Well, isn’t that wonderful?”

Holding y/n’s free hand as the couple left the hospital, Sicheng reached over and ruffled his injured girlfriend’s hair, a grin on his face at y/n shaking his hand off with a sulky downturn to her lips. They’d been on the phone with her manager, and it was confirmed that she’d be taking the required time off to recover, and an extra two weeks to actually take some time away from the track. Lips pursed as she observed her arm sling, y/n turned to her boyfriend - who had been calling a cab while she was zoned out in her own world. If she was going to be taking time off, the idea of spending as much of that time with Sicheng was quite appealing, to say the least.

“Sicheng, can you stay the night? I wanna spend more time with you,”

“Sure~ I’m free for next week. I’m all yours y/n-ah~” 

Entering the apartment together, y/n sighed, taking a seat on the sofa and resting her head as she stared up at the ceiling. Hanging up his coat, Sicheng joined her, taking the same position and giggling when y/n turned to him in confusion. She knew why she was staring at the uninteresting ceiling, but why did he have to? His giggles turning into snickers, Sicheng excused himself into the kitchen before y/n could ask the question that was on her mind. Returning to the living room with two mugs of hot chocolate in hand, Sicheng set y/n’s down and took a sip of his own, an amused grin remaining on his face. Still more or less not in the mood to talk, y/n leaned over and pressed a kiss to her boyfriend’s cheek as she picked up the other mug with her unbandaged hand. The couple stayed like that, enjoying their drinks and the silence. 

As the evening drew closer, and both y/n and Sicheng were feeling their eyelids grew heavy, a yawn from the motocross racer in the room signaled to them both that it would be best for the couple to get some sleep. 

“Baby, I don’t know about you, but I’m seconds away from passing out on this sofa,” Y/n joked as she pulled herself up and helped Sicheng to his feet. Wincing a tad when her ankle collided with the corner of the table, y/n rolled her eyes with a shake of her head and a smile when Sicheng started giggling.

“Y/n-ah, are - are you okay?”

“Well, I’m glad you’re entertained,” y/n sassed, walking into their bedroom with Sicheng trailing after, a grin still on his face, “I’m fine, just so you know~” 

The next day, y/n had woken up with a groan. Although she had spent ten minutes trying to find the best way to sleep, she had tossed and turned - and now her arm was starting to ache. Pushing herself to sit up and get out of bed, y/n tried managing as best she could, gently massaging her arm every so often. She’d take some painkillers after she ate breakfast. Heading to the kitchen to try and make herself something to eat, y/n stopped and looked down, a flustered smile on her face as she turned to see Sicheng with his head buried in her shoulders.

“Good morning you~ could I interest you in some breakfast~?” Y/n laughed, kissing the still half asleep man’s cheek. Muttering something about making it himself, Sicheng unwinded his hands and dragged his feet around the kitchen floor as he made himself something to eat, his girlfriend watching him as she leaned against the dining table, sipping on a fruit smoothie.

“How do you manage to get up so early? I’m exhausted.” Sicheng asked, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Prone to working afternoons himself, waking up early morning was definitely something he wasn’t used to. Giggling as she ate, y/n shrugged, a playful smile on her face. Waking up early was the norm for the motocross racer; arriving at the tracks at unforgiving times to practice.

“Oh I don’t know~? Motocross perhaps?” She asked, teasing the man in front of her. His unamused face turning into a smile that screamed ‘I love her so much’, Sicheng rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he watched the pleased grin on y/n’s face.

“Y/n-ah, do you know how much I love you?”

“Do I?”

“I- come here you-” Walking over to y/n and pulling her out of the chair and into his arms, the couple stood there for a moment, lost in each other's eyes...Until y/n started wincing.

“Baby? What’s wrong? Did, did I hurt you, I’m so-” Sicheng pouted in concern as he started checking y/n’s arm, looking back up in confusion when she started laughing. “What? What is it?”

“Got you~”

“Y/n! You scared me! Seriously, you’ve got to be less reckless next time” 

“Love you too baby~”

[yuta-nakamots]

119 - n.jm

Pairing - Jaemin x Reader

Genre - Horror/Thriller, Angst

Warnings - Cheating, familial problems, character death, mentions of sex (though no descriptions of it), blood, violence, public humiliation (not in a nsfw way), yandere tendencies

Summary - Misfortune is all around you though you were never the true victim of it until now with Jaemin by your side. Will you make it through these troubles or die trying? Will you be killed or become the killer?

Word Count - 4.1k

Written for the #NeoHalloween writing festival hosted by @nct-writers​. Check out the masterlist here.

To say that your life was rough would be just about an understatement. As a third-year student in university, you had already moved out on your own and had begun supporting yourself. Though your family was wealthy, it didn’t mean that everything in your life was handed to you on a silver platter because not everything that glitters is gold.

Your mother, who used to be a strong businesswoman who started up her own brand, was left heartbroken and devastated when she found out your father and seemingly loving husband had been having an affair for the past two years. She turned to alcohol and drugs in order to forget her sorrows and give her relief if only for a short while. You didn’t know what happened to your father after he moved out, only that he was happy with the woman he had been cheating with.

It soon became an addiction and you tried your best to save her. You scheduled and brought her into therapy appointments and followed her doctor’s orders to keep a close eye on her, but there’s only so much a college student can do. Your younger brother wasn’t helping at all either.

Chenle, only a year younger than you, has had his eyes set on taking over your mother’s business ever since he realized that special treatment he got at school from others when they heard his last name. He fed into your mother’s addictions and would reverse all the progress you made with her. “Don’t you want her money? She’s not in any state to get back in the business world so let’s just take what she has and run.” Chenle told you one night after you had finally succeeded at putting your mother to bed.

You looked at Chenle, appalled that he would even dare to say such a thing, even more at the fact that he had been thinking about this for so long. “We’re her children,” you reminded him, “she will share it with us as she wishes and she can make a comeback if you just stopped making things worse.”

“Me? Making things worse?” Chenle scoffed, mocking his disbelief. “I’m only helping things along. The faster she stops breathing, the faster we’ll get her money and I’ll get her business.” You could only shake your head at him as you pulled him out of your mother’s bedroom that now seemed much too large for her frail self. “Think about it, we can take over and split it fifty-fifty and the media would love us for it. ‘Zhong children take over their mother’s business after her passing in honor of her legacy’. Come on, can’t you see it?”

You felt nauseous at the images Chenle was painting in your mind and you knew there was only so much more of this that you could handle before you reached your own breaking point.

That’s why you brought your mother into a care home when you and Chenle were supposed to be at school. He wouldn’t know where you took her and you chose to pay for it using the money in your own bank account, though admittedly most of it was your mother’s money. Your parents had already bought you your own apartment when you first entered college, in case you wanted more independence though your mother’s condition is what stopped you from leaving. But the same day you left her at the care home was the same day you finally moved in.

As long as your mother was away from Chenle and you went in to check on her daily, everything would be fine, so you thought. You had even met your neighbor and he helped you move in. He was your age, even attended the same school, and went by the name of Jaemin.  

Ever since your first year in college, your life had already been filled with issues from your own family on top of the already heavy workload from classes, leaving you little to no room for a social life. You weren’t an outcast, but you definitely weren’t popular. People usually didn’t spare you a second glance unless they knew the lineage you came from which is why you suddenly felt small under the eyes that were staring into you.

Looking up as you took your seat in economics, you saw the familiar face of your neighbor, Jaemin, as he smiled down at you. As you settled into your seat, he slipped into the one next to you before leaning over and whispering a ‘good morning’ in your ear. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find him attractive.

Within just a week of having known Jaemin, he had already become one of your closest friends, which came as a surprise since he was also one of the most popular boys on campus. But that didn’t stop him from walking home with you after both of you were done for the day. “A princess should never be left to walk on her own.” Jaemin insisted. “Who knows what dangers could be out there, waiting to attack her?” He pondered animatedly as he linked his arm with yours as you started your journey back to your apartment complex.

It was also within a week that it took Chenle to confront you. There he stood, in front of your apartment unit as you and Jaemin stepped out of the elevator. “What did you do with her?” Chenle demanded.

“What do you mean?” You questioned, faking cluelessness as came to stand in front of him, leaving Jaemin at his own unit.

Chenle rolled his eyes. “You know damn well what I mean. Where’s mom and what did you do with her?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You remarked dismissively as you unlocked your door.

“She’s living with you isn’t she?” Chenle sneered, barging into your apartment the second your door was unlocked.

“Go ahead, search all you want. You won’t find her here.” You took off your shoes inside the doorway before depositing your belongings in your room while listening to Chenle romp around in the background. Once you had finished unpacking your bag, you stepped out of your room, closing the door behind you, your brother still going on his little rampage. “Can you tone down the temper tantrum? I’m going to get a noise complaint from the-”

Your sentence was cut off as he pinned you against the wall, his hands holding you by your shoulders as your back slammed into the hard surface. “From who? Who will you get a noise complaint from?” His eyes bore into yours as his grip only tightened. “You know damn well that we own this apartment complex so a single noise complaint doesn’t mean jack shit.”

You raised your hand to slap him, his attitude was simply annoying, but he was faster. Chenle quickly had both of your wrists in one hand as he brought his face closer to yours. “Stop being such a bitch and tell me where she is.”

“You know I won’t do that.” Chenle let out a groan of frustration, his free hand running through his hair before it came straight for your throat. You yelped in shock as he started to apply pressure, slowly limiting your oxygen intake.

“If you’re not going to help me, then maybe I should just kill you. Right here, right now.”

“You would never.” You choked out.

“Oh yeah? What makes you say that?” He sneered, enjoying the pitiful state he had you in.

“I’m your fucking sister, Chenle.”

“That doesn’t mean anything to me. If I let you live, you’ll only take more of what is rightfully mine. If you die, I can take over everything on my own and never have to deal with your annoying ass-”

Just as quickly as you started seeing spots in your vision, they were gone, the pressure on your throat was relieved and you keeled over, finally able to take gulps of air. You weren’t given much time to recover, the yells from your brother down the hallway pulling you out of your haze as he fought with another person on top of him. “Who the fuck are you?” Chenle exclaimed.

“Her boyfriend,” the person said, the deep voice easily recognizable, “don’t you dare hurt her ever again, or else it will be you getting killed instead.”

“You talk as if you have the power to do so.” Chenle retorted, only angering his attacker further.

They landed a square punch on his jaw before pulling a book off the shelf next to them and slamming it into his head, effectively knocking Chenle out. “Jaemin, what are you doing?” You yell, running in to stop him from doing any further damage.

“I heard him hurting you, princess. I can’t just let him get away with it.” He explained, pouting at you as if your brother was not lying unconscious under him. “I saved your life didn’t I?”

“God,-fuck, Jaemin, just get off of him.” You yanked him to his feet before attempting to pull Chenle up onto your back.

“Oh? What is my pretty girl doing now?” Jaemin asked, a sadistic smile appearing on his face.

“Getting him to a hospital because I can’t have my brother dying in my own apartment you sick fuck.”

Jaemin chuckled before responding while taking Chenle from your arms and carrying him on his own. “He won't die, he’ll just be knocked out for a bit.”

“And how would you know that?” You ask as you guide Jaemin out the front door, trying your best not to panic as you map out the way to your car and to the hospital.

“Experience.”

Jaemin’s answer should have troubled you but it was the least of your worries once you were nearly speeding on your way to the hospital, wanting to make sure Chenle was okay. You brought him into the ER drive-in and you and Jaemin watched as the staff wheeled him away on a stretcher. You stayed to answer a few questions, claiming that it was a case of self-defense out on the streets and you had come across it on your way home with your, self-proclaimed, boyfriend, before heading out once all the information was sorted.

“So, Chenle Zhong...he’s your brother?” Jaemin started as both of you were getting back into your car. You nodded as you started the engine and put on your seatbelt. “Which means...Sarah Zhong, The Sarah Zhong is your mother?” Again, you nodded as you shifted the car into gear and pulled out from the ER drop-off zone. “So he was in your apartment, about to kill you because he didn’t know where his own mother went?”

“There’s a lot more to it than that, but let’s just get home first and I’ll explain everything to you then, okay?” Jaemin let out a grunt to acknowledge you as he placed a hand on your thigh and went to check his phone. “But first, actually, what’s up with you suddenly becoming my boyfriend? First with Chenle and now at the hospital?”

“Isn’t that what I am?” Jaemin asked, his voice sickly sweet.

“You are a boy and you are my friend, but that does not make you my boyfriend, Jaemin.”

He sighed next to you. “What if I asked you right now? What if I asked, right now, ‘y/n Zhong, will you be my girlfriend’? What would your answer be?” You drove in silence, your mind going blank. “I know you find me attractive.” He interjected before letting it go silent once again. “Look, it’s not like you have any other choice or else-”

“‘Or else’ what?” You interrupted. “Tell me, why do I not have a choice here? Why are you forcing me to be your girlfriend?”

Jaemin gently squeezed your thigh upon noticing your hands were shaking on the wheel. “You pretty brother will probably press charges against me and if you don’t want your family to get exposed, the best way to do so would be following the alibi we set out for ourselves.”

Coming to a stop at a red light, you leaned forward and rested your forehead against the top of the steering wheel. “Fuck.” Jaemin was absolutely right. “Fuck” you yelled, this time startling the boy next to you.

Jaemin remained quiet as you sat hunched over before quietly mumbling “green” to let you know the light had changed colors. You drove through the intersection, feeling something in your life shift, and so began your relationship with Jaemin.

You had explained everything to Jaemin that day once you arrived back at your apartment complex, from your father’s affair up until now with Chenle having confronted you earlier in the evening. You had also broken down in tears and asked Jaemin to stay the night with you, which he gladly agreed to do, not that it would have been much trouble for him anyways since he lives next door.

A fake sense of calm consumed you in the following month. You and Jaemin entered a sort of honeymoon phase in your semi-fake relationship while your mother’s health continued to improve and Chenle made his recovery. You don’t know how he did it, but Jaemin had managed to doctor up some footage, making it look as if Chenle had been mugged just outside of the complex, and two figures, assumed to be you and Jaemin, came into view and helped him into a car nearby before driving off.

The investigators didn’t stay around much longer after that, closing the case as if it were as easy as a hit and run. You knew Chenle would be furious with you and you lived every day in fear of him turning up unannounced, ready to take your life again. Being with Jaemin made you feel safe, oddly enough, even with all the red flags he had thrown your way. From knocking Chenle out to the fixed footage and even the way he had the proper cleaning supplies to wipe any evidence of Chenle having been in your apartment.

Jaemin showed you love more intensely than any of your past relationships that sometimes you had to remind yourself why you were doing this. The way he kissed you was absolutely enrapturing, the way he caressed every part of you so gently sent butterflies through your body. He had even made love to you a few times, all while confessing his adoration for you. He held your hand and let you wear his clothing, acting as a model boyfriend that any girl would wish to have.

Being with Jaemin wasn’t all that great though. He teased you, sometimes even publicly embarrassed you, though he chalked it up to being his way of showing his affection. Today was the worst of all. You had stayed up trying to finish a paper for econ, but you just couldn’t get the words to flow and ended up bullshitting nearly all of it. Jaemin had known all of this, yet he volunteered your essay to share during class when your professor had asked for any names. “Ah yes, Ms. Zhong, it would be a pleasure to hear your writing.” He said as he stepped down from the podium.

“Jaemin, I fucking swear to god-” You whispered through a fake smile.

“It’s okay princess, you got this. You’re smart, I know you are.” He encouraged through a genuine smile though the intentions behind it were less so.

As you stood up on the podium, you cleared your throat while holding your sad excuse for a research paper. “I wrote my essay on the stock market and investments, and how we shouldn’t buy into such things as all these numbers are digital and cannot be withdrawn into physical money.”

“With all due respect, Ms. Zhong, your paper sounds absolutely wonderful but the topic of this research paper was on how politics affect economies worldwide.” Your professor informed you.

You paused, feeling hot chills pass over you. “Uh, yes, that’s what my essay is on. I just meant that I had chosen to write about it from a more fundamental scale.”

“Oh, yes, of course!” Your professor exclaimed, clasping his hands together. “Please, do continue in that case, I’m terribly sorry for interrupting.”

“So, like I was saying,” you began again, glancing over at Jaemin, only for him to shoot you a smile, “we should not buy into the stock market since it is all digital and wealth is not promised.” Your presentation went on like this for the next few minutes, occasionally looking at Jaemin whenever you wanted to finish and step off the podium, but his gaze changed immediately whenever you took a step towards the edge and it forced you to stay up there, talking around in circles, confusing yourself. “This is why prices are so inflated with what our past presidents have done in the economy-”

“Thank you, Ms. Zhong. I do believe it is time we moved on to the next paper.” Your professor advised, much to your relief as he gave you a look of pity and condolence while allowing you to step down before he resumed his position at the front of the class.

You were on the edge of tears as you sat back down next to Jaemin and you swatted his hand away from you when he tried to wrap an arm around you as if to comfort you. You felt your phone vibrating in your bag as Jaemin texted you but you didn’t even bother checking it, choosing to zone out while staring at the white walls of the lecture hall instead.

After your professor excused the class for the day, you made a beeline for the apartments, not even caring that you still had one more class. Jaemin called out for you and ran after you but you thanked whatever divine being above that blessed you by letting Jeno, his best friend, pull him off to their shared biology class.

Had you been a little more attentive, maybe you would’ve noticed the near carbon copy of your car parked at the end of the garage as you pulled out. But you didn’t, only seeking your mother’s comfort as you drove off to the care home since it had indeed been a week since you had last visited and you promised that you would come at least once a week.

When you arrived at the care home and passed through the main lobby, greeting the staff working as you were a familiar face among them, one of them stopped you. “Ms. Zhong! Sorry to stop you, but a person by the name of Chenle Zhong came by to pick up your mother. We didn’t know if this was something you had arranged or not but he had all the credentials and your mother seemed to recognize him enough so we let her go.”

You froze in absolute shock and panic. “What do you mean you let her go? You left her with some stranger that you don’t even know?”

“We’re truly sorry, but he did have all the paperwork to prove his relation to you and your mother so there was nothing we could do.” The worker said, speaking quickly in hopes of ceasing your anger.

You took a couple of deep breaths before looking around, noticing all the eyes on you. “How much did he pay?” Silence. “I said, how much did he pay?” You yelled.

“$150,000.” The woman behind the front desk spoke up. You knew it, you fucking knew it would happen but now there was nothing left to do except wait for Chenle to show up.

You don’t know what came over you but something compelled you to enter Jaemin’s apartment instead of yours once you returned to the apartments so you went along with it, dropping your bag at the foot of his bed before lying down and falling asleep as you waited for him to finish at school.

Your sleep was a black dreamless sleep and you woke with a jolt, your heart pounding, not knowing what time it was nor why you woke up in this state. You looked out of the window, noting that it was now dark out, meaning that you had probably slept for at least an hour or two, which answered your first immediate question. The answer to the second came when you finally registered the yelling coming from next door. Next door...your apartment.

Scrambling out of Jaemin’s bed, you didn’t even bother putting on your shoes, bursting in through your front door and running down the main hallway towards the living room, the source of all the noise, to find a bloodied Jaemin on top of an equally, if not more, bloodied Chenle, the weapon in question lying a few feet away from them, the warm red liquid slowly dripping from the blade of the kitchen knife onto your beige carpet. “Jaemin, what the fuck are you doing?!” Both boys paused at the sound of your voice.

“Oh, my sweet girl, I had come home to wait for you after you had run away but instead he came to me. I knew all about how he had bought you mother so I figured, why not give him injuries that will cost another $150,000?” His face smiling at you with the bloodied fingerprints plastered on his pale skin was a sight you knew you’d never forget.

You slowly stepped towards them, your brain working at speeds beyond your comprehension. “Jaemin, how did you know about my mother? I had only just come from there so unless Chenle told you...” you paused to look over at your brother, who shook his head before coughing up some blood, spitting some in a glob at Jaemin.

Jaemin cooed at Chenle as he wiped the blood off his face before running that same hand through Chenle’s hair, locking his fingers into it and yanking Chenle’s head back at a painful angle. Chenle yelled out in pain, his cries muffled when Jaemin pulled a blanket off your couch and stuffed it into Chenle’s mouth. “You see, princess, I had their security circuit pulled even before you told me about your family’s misfortune.”

“Wha- but how...why?...” You struggled to grasp at all the information being connected in your head.

“Your cheating father had an affair with not only your mother and mine as well.” He looked between you and Chenle, enjoying the shock that was mirrored in both of your expressions. “That’s right, my mother is the mistress who stole away your father. However, he is the man who broke apart my family too when she ran away with him, leaving me with my abusive asshole of a dad.”

You continued moving closer and kneeled down once you were in front of Jaemin, bringing yourself to eye level with him, even if the smell of blood was making you feel like passing out. “I figured that by killing one of you, I could force you stupid Zhongs to get back together and bring my mother back to me. But I couldn’t bring myself to pull the trigger, not when I’ve fallen so madly in love with you...which leaves me with him.”

Jaemin lunged for the knife next to you only to find that you picked it up much faster than he did. You stood up and backed away from them with the knife as Chenle attempted to shove Jaemin off of him, but Jaemin was stronger though not by much. “Princess, please do both of us a favor. He tried to kill you and he’s shown how little you mean to him. Do you really think he’d share everything equally with you?” Your eyes darted between both of theirs. “Don’t you wish for my happiness? After all the love I’ve given to you?”

Your gaze locked with Chenle’s who was shaking due to the overexertion of his body. “Does the pretty boy have something to say?” Jaemin cooed as he pulled the blanket out of Chenle’s mouth.

“It’s me or him, y/n. Me or him.”

“Alright, that’s enough.” Jaemin said before pouncing back on Chenle, both his hands wrapping around Chenle’s pale neck.

You threw the knife, hoping for it to reach its target. It did, and you watched as his body stilled and went limp right in front of your eyes, the blade pierced through his heart. It was honestly a lucky throw but regardless, the blood on the knife was because of you.

You are the killer now.

[imaginetrahs]

5. I don’t know who that is. Sorry.

Third

Monday came faster than Solana wanted it to.

After Friday the rest of her weekend went by in a blur. Saturday and Sunday were spent with family since there wasn't much of that since she came home from camp.

Solana had just finished getting dressed, reluctantly, and made her way towards the kitchen. Jamal was sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal. Solana knew that he would text her later about his stomach hurting from the milk, he's lactose intolerant but she didn't say anything.

"Hey, do you want a ride." Solana grabbed her bookbag from its spot by the door and slipped on her sandals.

Jamal shook his head, "I'm gonna walk with the crew. But I'll see you at lunch?" He placed his bowl in the sink and grabbed his bag too. Both of the Turner kids walked out of the house and Solana locked the door behind them. Their dad was respected because of his business but they could never be too sure.

"Yes sir." Solana walked to her car while Jamal started walking down the street toward school. "Please be safe J."

"Girl, you know I'm always safe." He turned around walking backwards and popped his collar. "They need to watch out for me cause I'm dangerous."

Because Jamal was turned around not watching where he was going, he backed into a fire hydrant and fell back. Solana rolled her eyes and got in her car, she pulled out and made her way to pick up Braelyn and Raziya.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

"Who's your first period?" Solana, Braelyn and Raziya were still sitting in the car waiting for the first bell to ring. Each girl had their phone in their hand looking at their class schedule.

"I have Bloomberg." Solana glanced at the other girls as they groaned in protest.

"Fucking lucky." Raziya sighed out. "I have Ms. Roberts."

Solana and Braelyn let out collectives 'ooohs'. They both understood Raziya's frustration seeing as they both had her last year for English class and she was not an easy teacher.

"Well I have Ms. Carter and I'm okay with it because she's pretty chill." Braelyn opened her door and slid out along with Solana and Raziya.

Walking through the parking Solana noticed the familiar cherry red convertible parked across the street with its owner sitting in the driver seat. She tried not to make eye contact but it was hard when she could feel him staring at her.

"He's basically burning a hole in your face." Solana groaned kept walking. She was still upset about Friday but she wasn't pressed about it.

"I know." The three girls sat at one of the tables in front of the school. They continued to talk about their classes and what teachers they didn't like.

"So are you like over Oscar." Braelyn set her phone down on the table and looked at Solana. Braelyn knew that she wasn't, she just wanted to hear her say it.

"I don't know who that is." Solana shrugged her shoulders and continued her people watching. Across the way she noticed her brother and his friends sitting at a table, they must've been waiting for Cesar.

Raziya rolled her eyes, "Lana for real."

"Well technically we were never together for me to 'be over him' but I just think what he did was stupid as fuck and if he didn't want to hang with me he could've just told me that. Instead he blew me off for another girl without a call or text." Solana took her bag off and laid her head on it. "So I don't know, but I do know boys are stupid."

"Except me though, right?" Solana rolled her head to the right and seen Cesar standing there with a smirk on his face.

"No, especially you." Solana joked to him and got up to hug him. "I'm just kidding Ceas. How you been?"

He nodded his head and shrugged simultaneously. "I've been better. But hey my brother wants to talk to you."

Solana shook her head 'no' and sat back in her seat. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to Oscar right now because it would ruin her whole day and it barely started.

Cesar's phone dinged and glanced at it. He had a text from his brother. "He said if you don't go over there then he'll come over here, your choice."

Solana sighed as loud as she could and dragged her feet across the street. She could hear her friends plus Cesar laughing behind her.

Solana opened the red door and flung herself into the passenger seat while slamming the door. She slouched into the seat and crossed her arms across her chest, glaring out of the windshield.

"Yo chill out with slammin' my shit!" Oscars eyebrows knitted in frustration. First Solana wasn't answering his texts and now she's here slamming his car door.

Solana turned to him in mock sympathy. She placed her hand over her chest, "I'm sorry, let me just-", she opened the door and slammed it again.

Oscar clenched and unclenched his jaw, not wanting to lose his cool towards her. He watched her type on her phone instead of paying attention to him.

Oscar snatched the phone from Solana's hand and put it in pocket closest to the driver door. "Tell me how you feel Sol." He shifted his body towards her direction and threw his arm across the back of the car seat.

"You're an asshole." She looked at him with a stoic face. "Instead of just telling me you didn't want to hang out, you stood me up and I had to hang with my brother. Not that I mind because I love my brother, and we actually had a lot of fun, it's just you could've sent a text. And then you ditched me for Amaya, of all people."

"Are you jealous?" Oscar smirked her way.

"Of Amaya?" Solana screwed her face up and laughed wholeheartedly. "Yeah right. She's slept with literally every guy in our grade, you're just another one that got added and checked off her list. Don't feel too special."

Solana heard the bell for first period ring and grabbed the door handle to get out. "We're not together so I'm not mad, but don't invite me to hang out if you're just gonna bail." She shut the door with a shrug and made her way to class.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Lunch time came and to say Solana was happy was an understatement. She had two more classes to go to, being on block schedule was a gift. Solana walked through the countless bodies in the hallway to her locker. She grabbed her sketch pad for her double art class, instead of having to come all the way back to this side of the school.

Solana closed and locker her locker and made her way to the cafeteria. Her phone buzzed in her hand and she glanced at it to see a text from Oscar.

Spooky 👻

I'm picking you up later

11:25 AM

Mamas 🖤

No you're not

11:30 AM

Solana grabbed a lunch tray and went through the lunch line like every other person. She decided between the lesser evils of lunch food and went with a chicken salad. Another text came through and Siri read it in her AirPods.

Spooky 👻

Let me make it up to you

11:35 AM

Mamas 🖤

It's a little too late for that don't you think 🙂

11:36 AM

Spooky 👻

Be ready by 6

11:38 AM

Mamas 🖤

Say I do agree to this...

What am I supposed to wear?

11:40 AM

Solana walked out of the cafeteria to the outside tables and found her brother and his friends plus Braelyn and Raziya.

"Hey you's guys." Solana sat between her brother and Ruby, hugging his head. Like all of Jamals friends, Ruby had a special place in her heart, a close second to Cesar. She loved them all in her own little way.

Spooky 👻

Whatever you want baby

11:47 AM

You look good in everything

11:47 AM

Solana smirked at her phone at what Oscar said. She didn't want to toot her own horn but, he wasn't wrong.

Mamas 🖤

Whatever 🙄

11:50 AM

I'll see you later

11:51 AM

Jamal glanced over his sisters shoulder, along with Ruby, to see her texting Oscar. Neither of them said anything but glanced at each other, knowing that she could be used in their plan to talk to Oscar.

"Who you texting Sol." Raziya leaned on her hand grinning at Solana. Braelyn tilted her head at Solana and glanced to Raziya.

"Yeah, she was pretty smiley over there wasn't she Ziy?" Solana rolled her eyes with the other gazed at her, waiting for an answer.

"Don't start." Solana shot her hand out in a 'stop' motion. "Don't start."

Braelyn and Raziya threw their hands up in surrender. "Ok, fine."

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Liked by Braezy, Shawtylowe, Spooky, JuliusCaesar, Rubennn, SwaggieJ, Monsay and 389 others

Sonshine senior year is mine 🤪

103 comments

Braezy period best 💕 15 likes

         Sonshine this year is ours sis @Shawtylowe

SwaggieJ Period sis 20 likes

    Sonshine jamal get tf 😂

Amilli 👻

     Sonshine blocked

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Liked by Sonshine, Braezy, Amilli, Sadeyez, Eazy and 438 others

Shawtylowe do I need school or does school need me 🤔

98 comments

Sonshine period cause shit is bogus 100 likes

               Shawtylowe ain't it 😩

Eazy I need you

      Shawtylowe dude get tf ☹️

Latrelle answer my dms

      Shawtylowe eww 🤮

Shawtylowe @Amilli bitch stop liking my shit

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Liked by Sonshine, Shawtylowe, SwaggieJ, Mario and 428 others

Braezy glad it's my last year ☺️ enjoy this outfit because after this it's sweats and hoodies 🙂

119 comments

Sonshine ong 😭

Shawtylowe you're so cute 😩💕 78 likes

       Braezy thank you baby 💕

Mario hey

        Braezy bye

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Liked by Latrelle, Mario, Yourboyfriend and 365 others

Amilli I had him now you can have him back 😇

172 comments

Shawtylowe you want to beat yo ass again

           Amilli you didn't beat me the first time so...

                  Shawtylowe you're a bird 🦆 leave my friend and he man alone or imma fuck you up ong 💁🏽‍♀️ 115 likes

                        Sonshine Ziy chill 😂

Latrelle get at me ma

        Amilli 🤪😘

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I can't fucking stand that bitch. Raziya text the groupchat. After lunch everyone went to their respective classes. Since most of the school followed the four girls, the drama was already spreading and it was only the first day.

Amaya was the type of girl that craved drama and attention. Her name was always in something and someone always got dragged down with her. The girls were friends with Amaya, once upon a time, but then things changed. Amaya was caught up in being better than everyone, but it happens.

Solana sat in art class, the only class she really cared for. She loved art in all forms, getting this class double was amazing for her. Not to mention her teacher was one of her favorites.

There were a little less than ten minutes left of class and Solana didn't want to leave. Her leaving meant she would have to hang with Oscar, and she didn't really want to.

When the bell rang to go home, Solana took her time leaving. Lately she hasn't been able to have any 'me time' so she took this time to. Her life was hectic right now between; cheer, seeing a man that is older than her, and school starting up, she wasn't sure she'd be able to handle it.

Solana's phone dinged in her back pocket, she pulled it out and seen a text from Jamal.

J-man 🏈

My stomach hurts

3:15 PM

Can you take me home

3:16 PM

"I fucking knew it."

[duhragonball]

Positive

I’m gonna record some stuff for posterity, since I’ve been feeling kind of down and I want to focus on some things that have gone right lately.

First, I managed to win a Crazyhouse chess match against my hated rival, Lichess.org AI level 6.  I started trying to get serious about getting good at chess a few years ago, which eventually led me to lichess.org, which offers some variant games like Crazyhouse, where you can use captured pieces for your own.   The AI has eight levels and I decided to just start at 1 and work my way up, but around... late 2018?  I got to level 6 and it’s been kicking my ass ever since.    I think my record is like 5-3742.  

Friday night, I actually won, which is a big deal in itself, but more astonishingly, I beat it in 17 moves.  Here they are below.

1. d4 d5 2. Nf3 { D02 Queen's Pawn Game: Zukertort Variation } Bf5 3. e4 dxe4 4. Ne5 Nd7 5. Bb5 c6 6. Bxc6 bxc6 7. P@b7 Rb8 8. Nxc6 P@f3 9. gxf3 B@g2 10. Rg1 exf3 11. Nxd8 P@e2 12. Qd2 g6 13. P@c7 Bg7 14. c8=Q Rxc8 15. bxc8=Q Ne5 16. Q@a4+ P@d7 17. Nc6# { White wins by checkmate. } 1-0

I tend to write off my wins as flukes--sooner or later the AI has to make a mistake--but usually Level 6 beats me in less than 20 moves.    It had gotten to the point where I was more worried about surviving to move 21 than even hoping to win.    Full disclosure: I use the takeback function to undo serious blunders, so it’s not like I pulled this upset off in one go.    Still, I managed to put this together.  

I think this is mainly because I started reading Chess for Dummies again and there’s a part where it says that you really shouldn’t start out by moving the same piece over and over.    Instead, you should more a different piece each turn.    That forces you to think a little harder about each turn, and you won’t get stuck in a situation where you waste moves on retreats.    I’ve been making that mistake a lot lately, having like a knight or a queen running around the board, trying to avoid getting captured, and all that accomplishes is to let the AI develop their side of the board, until I run out of places to run.  

So I took this advice to heart and it paid off in a big way.   I’m sure it won’t go quite as well next time, but I’m wondering if this one mistake was holding me back this whole time.   Either way, I’m just pleased that I read something in a book and managed to apply it successfully to the thing I was trying to learn.   I can see a light at the end of the AI Level 6 tunnel.

Second, I made my first omelet last night.    I bought eggs, and thought, you know what, let’s try to make an omelet.    It’s not even that hard, it’s just that I never got serious about it.    Every time I scramble eggs I think about how easy it would be to just... not scramble them and fold it over, but I never could figure out when to do that, and I’d just break down and scramble them, because I know how to do that.   So last night I decided to look it up and make sure I knew what to do.    All I had to put in them was some Swiss cheese, but it turned out great.    Today I went to the store and got diced ham and chopped onions and shredded cheese, and I probably put too much in, but it was excellent.   

My eventual goal here is to get proficient enough to attempt the recipe printed in Way of the House Husband v.3, because it looks fancy but how hard could it be?  

Looking at this page again, I guess what I really need to do is work on steps 1-3, which involve cooking the filling first.    Otherwise, I’m pretty close already.

Third, Dangerous Tekkers retained the IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championships yesterday.   

Look at these distinguished gentlemen, and their beautiful IWGP championship belts.  Also, a bowl of Zima, because they’re a sponsor.   

I really thought they were in trouble, but they managed to steal a win, and that’s what matters.   Big night for Suzuki-gun in general, but I’m most proud of Taichi and Zack Sabre Junior for extending their glorious reign.    Nothing but respect for my champions.  Go back to the end of the line, Golden Ace.   Speaking of Golden Aces...

Fourth, I’ve updated my damn weinerfic yesterday.    I’ll crosspost to Tumblr eventually, but my goal was to get stuff on AO3 this month, and I figured crossposting would slow me down.    So if you read my fanfic and you made it this far down the list, Luffa’s updated to Chapter 126.

I’ve talked about this before, but I got real bad about writing scenes without assembling them into discrete chapters, which has left me with a large backlog of material that I needed to edit and post before I could move on.    My goal for 2020 was to clear that backlog completely.    I thought the wind was at my back when I got Chapters 119-134 assembled, but editing and formatting has been a real slog this month.    Now that 126 is live, I think I’ve gotten through the worst of it, but we’ll see.   

To be honest, this whole process hasn’t been that bad.   I’m well on my way to the goal I set for the year.    It just seems to feel a lot tougher than it should.   I had lofty dreams of tackling some other projects this year, but I just don’t have the motivation, and I need to put whatever I do have into this one thing. 

And that’s the reason I wanted to write this post.   I feel like a jerk because things aren’t going as smoothly as I want them to, but the progress is still being made.   I keep looking forward, and despairing at how much further I have to go, but I need to glance backward once in a while, and appreciate how night and straight my wake is.  

I get frustrated a lot.    When I first started writing this thing, I was self-conscious about the early chapters because the real meat wouldn’t be until later, and I didn’t think the early stuff would impress anyone as standalone material.   Now I worry that it’s too damn big, and people will be turned off by the sheer size, and never get far enough in to see what I’m doing in the late game.    Or they will read that far in, only to find that I jumped the shark at some point.    I gotta get out of that mindset.    It’s bullshit and I know it’s bullshit, and I know that I know it’s bullshit, but it still pops up in my head sometimes.    The goal is to get the entire story finished.   Whether or not it gets popular is a sideshow.    I can promote the fic when I turn 50 and I’ve got nothing better to do.  This time is for writing and editing and publishing.   And right now, I’m getting it done.    That’s what’s important.   

Also, making that gangster omelet.   One step at a time.

[mineofilms]

2020… My Life… Everything Else Is Just Blurry…

Where to begin… I have been a type 2 diabetic since 2013. I got diabetes from excessive partying/drinking, originally. I continued to behave like this till June 2020. Granted, I wasn’t going as hard, in general, over the years, but each year and hardship I found myself going back to those old vices more frequently.

When the pandemic struck SWFL my drinking went up about 400%. No joke. I trained 4 days on and drank the other 3 days, hard. I did that from March to late June.

I caught Covid-19 around June 26th. By July 11th I needed to be hospitalized for Diabetic Ketoacidosis (where the body produces excess blood acids; ketones. This occurs when there isn't enough insulin in the body. It can be triggered by infection or other illness.) & Pancreatitis (inflammation of the pancreas. It happens when digestive enzymes start digesting the pancreas itself.) I was in ICU for 36 hours and in the hospital for 5 days. I lost 21 lbs over that time.

3 days after I got home from the hospital, Macular Edema (blood vessels in the retina burst and bleed into the eyes), set in. That took about a month to heal only for Diabetic Retinopathy (those same blood vessels that burst heal and are inflamed).

Usually requires anti-inflammatory shots into the eye ball and laser surgery to burn away some of the excess scar tissue. These cost thousands of dollars without insurance, which I do not have. I have read that they can heal on their own, but it takes about 8-12 months. I am in month 4.

However, I actually cannot confirm if that statement about them healing on their own is actually true or not. Some notes in journals say yes while other, more creditable sites, say no. One must get treatment.

Now let me be clear that Covid-19 did not cause my Diabetic Ketoacidosis & Pancreatitis. My lack of proper care for my diabetes caused these. I was already in the yellow and when I got Covid-19 it just put me in the RED. I now, at this point, required medical care or I would die. Those are the facts about me getting Covid-19, my Diabetic Ketoacidosis & Pancreatitis…

Flash-Forward to now… I got my blood sugars down to near normal (high) levels. This means my blood sugar is still high, but for me, I used to walk around at 400. 500-600 is diabetic coma. 80-120 is considered normal. I walk around between 130-230, currently, fasted.

I have not had a drink since June 26th. I will never drink again. I can’t.

1) Alcohol has thoroughly ruined my adult life in all sorts of areas besides this. It got me sick to begin with among, other, things.

2) If I drink I could be back in the hospital with Diabetic Ketoacidosis & Pancreatitis, again.

3) I made a deal with GOD. If I have to live through this (I prayed to die that night) that I would never drink again.

What kind of dick lies to GOD lol? A decade ago I would have… I hated everything about the concept of GOD. Now, I have come to terms that if there is or there isn’t; it doesn’t matter. I value me, my beliefs. Why not carry myself with that respect. I do not need to tell or share my beliefs with others. I care not for such things.

I am solely worried about my mental, physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual health.

I did not quit drinking because of addiction issues or any of that business. I made the choice because if I didn’t my pancreas would fail and I would be dead in a few months. That is how bad my pancreas was… I do not see myself as someone that is doing all this for attention. I have barely even made mention of this whole story on my social media. I have told people in direct messages, but I do not post everything that is happening in my life on social media.

Granted this Tumblr account is considered social media, but I do not use it for that purpose. It is strictly for my BLOG entries. I do not follow people on Tumblr. I post, get my URL and share it that way. Its not in your face on Facebook or anything, but one can click the link and go read about the crazy things in my head.

Taking care of my mental, physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual health is a full time job in and of itself. Now, currently I cannot work. I can only drive during the day. I cannot see well enough to drive at night.

I have other medical issues stemming from this and it is quite the laundry list. However, I think I gave you all enough to think about.

I am back in great shape now. Since I quit drinking and got back from the hospital I went from 119 to 163 lbs. I have not been this big since 2012. Right before I believe my Diabetic State started. My strength is coming back with a vengeance too. I am putting up more weight than I have in nearly a decade.

I have had to make serious and big changes to EVERYTHING in my life.

My computer is now changed from dual 22 inch monitors to one 46 inch monitor. I have to make changes like this just to see well enough to do some things on the computer.

I am still very blind. My vision has decent days and some days I cannot see much of anything. I cannot see my phone without a magnifying glass. I just got my eyes looked at several times cause my power keeps shifting and now my current glasses setup does not exactly help much. My computer glasses are ok for this, but my normal bifocals are pretty useless.

However; I do feel like I can write a little bit more now. I have a few blogs I want to write and then go right back into the novel. This might be the only realistic possibility of me being able to work to earn my keep. Normal 9-5, Monday-Friday are out of the question, indefinitely.

Not only am I not well enough for the grind, physically. My mental health is very questionable. I have had issues for years now. I have had about 20 jobs in 15 years. I have done a real number on my mental health over the years. Always trying to do more, work harder than the next person so I can make that “good money” that some always throw in my face. I did the work. I put in the time, but only to be messed with. Yes, I have that sort of mental issue.

One tries to mess with me. Mess with the positive shit I am doing. I lose my head pretty quick. I have repeatedly demonstrated over the course of my life that I have no restraint at all when it comes to that feeling of being seriously fucked with and have them look at you like; “What are you gonna do about it?”

Well that is it… I always do something about it. Even when I know I shouldn’t. It is my worst impulsive trait that I cannot get a handle on. Ever since I was a kid. I wanna say. It started when I was 11 or so.

I have made huge strides in changing my life, my thinking and how I fit into the scheme of things. I have become more an introvert than an extrovert. Even before the pandemic I was going out less and less. Doing things less and less. It got to a point to where I only went out when I could drink and/or the band was playing. I was already becoming less social. So this is nothing overly drastic about that UNLESS you count Facebook activity.

I have not advertised much on my Facebook and for good reasons… I posted about my 6 months of sobriety and the responses I got were all about, pressing on and “the struggle.”

I pulled it down. There was no struggle here. I am not a keep on keepin’ on mannnnnn… Type of Personality… No… I quit drinking so I can live another 10-15, hopefully more, years.  I just went through a friend dying from literally drinking himself to death. I know what people go through with their addiction struggles. I have my own reservations about how I feel about said subject matter.

Needless to say I did not appreciate how people view me on Facebook. I no longer post blogs their either. I post here on tumblr and put a link on my Facebook if anyone wants to read. That is about it.

I know people do not read more than a handful of sentences that ends with a weird hashtag or snapchat handle. I get it. It is also my fault because I have not told the Facebook wall/timeline of my mental and medical conditions and struggles. I reserve those conversations to be personal.

So if you want to know stuff, then let us get personal. Pretty much that simple. I do not do FAKE FRIENDS…

I try to be transparent. In the past it was easy, but now everyone has an opinion that they call facts. I do not know how many people I blocked on Facebook for being so damn ignorant or attention seeking.

I know I do not do attention seeking things. When I write it is with intention to say something. I would say 1600+ words on these subjects merits a little more than “attention seeking” behavior…

Things are looking up. I have done soooooooooo much. With so very little and make it look like I have a lot and that everything is fine. No. God Damnit… Everything is not fine. I am kicking ass trying to make something fine but not everything. Everything will never be FINE… Not ever. However, I can strive for it. I can continue to put in that work and just ignore the dumb shit. Which I am becoming pretty good at. I am still me. I am still blunt. If I rough feathers that is just my way of getting those people away from me.

Goodbye 2020… You will never be forgotten and your mark has definitely been left…

2020… My Life… Everything Else Is Just Blurry… By David-Angelo Mineo Words 1,738  12/30/2020

[shreddedleopard]

Decided to post AQR on AO3 too ...

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 進撃の巨人 | Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan (Movies) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Levi Characters: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss, Levi, Eren Yeager, Hange Zoë, Mikasa Ackerman, Connie Springer, Jean Kirstein, Sasha Blouse Additional Tags: RivaHisu, Canon Universe, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Feels, Post-Time Skip, Reiss-Ackerman Bond, Ackerman Bond, Royal Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss, Pregnancy, Secret Relationship Summary:

When Historia realises she must become pregnant to delay the plans of the Paradis Government, she is left with the impossible choice of selecting the father of her future child. There are many possible candidates, however Historia knows that there is only one set of genes which will give her child the very best chances of survival. The only problem is, will he consent to it?

Notes:

Important information for you to be aware of before you begin:

+This is a Levihisu fic - despite this, I would invite all shippers to read - I didn't realise I shipped them until I wrote this, either!

+This work was originally posted and is updated on Fanfiction.net, where it is currently at Arc 4. The version posted here is a re-edited, tidied up version.

+I have tried my absolute best to write AQR to run alongside the Manga; there are elements that I've tweaked from canon (timescales, for example) but right now, as of Chapter 119, I don't think there are any plot points which could be seen as diverging hugely from the realms of canon possibility (don't get me wrong, the events of the story are highly, HIGHLY unlikely to be anything like Yam's reveals to us in the Manga, but what I'm saying is they technically COULD be possible.)

+Following on from the above, this story WILL contain manga spoilers right up to the latest chapters - I highly recommend you don't read this unless you're familiar with these, one so that you're not spoiled, and two so that it makes a bit more sense!

ARC 1: REQUEST

ARC 2: FULFILLMENT

ARC 3: THE FORGE

ARC 4: DELIVERANCE

ARC 1: REQUEST

'An act of asking politely, formally or officially for something.'

CHAPTER 1: A Visitor at the Orphanage

Levi pulled his hood tighter around his sullen features and swept quietly along the path to the old farmhouse. There was a faint light drifting through the window, but the usual chatter of young, excitable voices was absent in the late evening air.

He reached the door and gave two swift knocks, before glancing behind him. He was alone still; good.

A moment later, the door cracked ajar, and one pale blue iris met his pale grey through the gap.

"Oh, Captain!" Historia pulled the door open the rest of the way to reveal her short figure, clothed in a plain dress more fitting of a lowly maid than royalty. "Hange told me to expect you."

"Good." Levi swept passed her into the hallway without invitation.

Historia closed the door softly and lead Levi through into the large dining area of the farmhouse. She gestured to one of the many worn, wooden chairs set at the table at the centre of the room. Levi sat, finally removing his hood.

"Tea?" Historia asked.

Levi inclined his head. "Are all of the brats asleep now? Or are we likely to be interrupted?" He raised an eyebrow at Historia, who rolled her eyes but smiled good-naturedly despite Levi's curt words. "They're all asleep. We're good. I'll make us a pot." With that, she disappeared into the adjoining kitchen.

Levi gave an inaudible 'tch' at her eye-roll; her confidence around him these days was far from the nervous demeanour of that honey-haired girl he had threatened in the dining room of a farmhouse not too dissimilar to this those four years ago. He was reminded of the playful punch to his arm she had given not so long after becoming Queen, and her daring him to retaliate. She had been right – what could he do about it, really? He may have once been her Captain and she his subordinate, but she was now his Queen. Check mate.

"I'm surprised you don't have people to make tea for you these days, Your Majesty." He made sure the sarcasm in his voice was especially evident. She may be the Queen, but he was still as difficult as he had ever been. Some things would never change.

Historia popped her head around the door frame, tea leaves in hand. "Surely you know me better that that, Captain? After all these years, and all that tea I brewed you when you helped me open this place!" She gave a soft chuckle before returning to her task. "Keep your voice down. What's the nature of this shady late evening visit, anyway?"

It was Levi's turn to roll his eyes this time. "I forgot how much you enjoy playing woman of the people." He paused, waiting for her retort from the other room. When none came, he continued. "We've uncovered information regarding the situation with Zeke, and the plans for your, ah … future."

Historia returned to the table, a tray of tea in her hands and a frown painted across her pretty features. "What sort of information? From who?"

Levi took a cup in his fingers from the tray she set down, avoiding the dainty handle, as was his way. He sipped quietly, before raising his eyes to meet Historia's across the table. "Premier Zackley and The government don't trust Zeke, and particularly this new-found secretive relationship with Eren." Levi sighed. "Honestly, I can't say I blame them completely; he certainly wouldn't be my first choice of ally." He placed the cup down and knitted his fingers together, elbows on the table.

Historia nodded her head and took a sip of her tea. "Go on, Captain."

"They grow very nervous. They dislike the fact that Zeke is a not a pawn in this game they can easily control. They do, however, have options to change this …" Levi glanced at Historia, trying to gauge her reaction, looking for any sign she understood where this conversation was heading.

"They want control over the Beast Titan. I imagine they'd also like to know a bit more about this 'secret plan' of Zeke's," Historia pointed out. She frowned. "The easiest way to achieve this, I think, would be to have a titan under their control consume Zeke, thus inheriting his power and memories …" She glanced back at The Captain, clearly looking for confirmation.

"So you're not just a pretty face then, Your Majesty. You've been paying attention." Levi sat back in his chair, and simply regarded the young woman before him for a moment.

It was now Historia's turn to give a small 'tsk' of annoyance. "Of course. It's my duty, isn't it?" Her eyes blazed fiercely across the table at the Captain. "So where do I fit into this?"

Levi raised his eyebrows at her. "Surely you know that answer?"

Historia hesitated, her dainty blond eyebrows knitted together in consideration. Suddenly, her eyes widened with realisation. "They want to replicate Zeke's circumstances exactly, using someone from Paradis. They need royal blood … My royal blood. Just like Eren said. They ... want me to transform into a Titan, and consume Zeke...?"

Levi nodded. "They've come back to that idea. Except they want to do it sooner, rather than later, so that everything is done to their terms rather than Zeke's. They think if we wait, he could betray us and use this secret plan for his own gains." He watched Historia gaze down into her now empty tea cup.

"I see." A small frown spread across her features. "So what would you have me do, Captain?" She lifted her eyes to his once again.

"I would not 'have' you do anything, Historia." Levi tried to keep his expression unreadable and his face flat. "Gone are the days where I can coerce you into doing what I believe is the right thing, as you once pointed out to me."

Historia gave a small laugh at that. "I think 'coerce' is putting it lightly, when you decided your hands around my throat were the best approach to 'coerce' me into becoming Queen."

Levi dismissed her last comment with a small flick of his hand, feeling the very faintest trace of guilt at his previous, very physical, methods with the girl. "Either way, this is your decision to make as Queen. Except, if you don't wish to become a Titan and consume Zeke, I honestly don't think a simple 'No' would do it. If they have to do it by force, I imagine they'd have no problem, considering the level of threat they believe Zeke to be."

"I don't particularly want to become a Titan Shifter, if I'm honest."

That is probably the understatement of the century, Levi thought, eyeing Historia's apparently calm exterior disbelievingly. He wondered whether she had always suspected this day might come.

"Do you think Zeke is a threat? Do you trust him?" She asked, her blue eyes searching his.

Levi sighed. "Do I trust him? Absolutely not. Do I think he's a threat? Potentially." He paused, turning his cup in its saucer absent-mindedly. "But do I think turning him into Titan food out of fear is the right thing to do?" He glanced at Historia, and for a second was sure he caught a glimmer of fear in the girl's eyes. "No, it's not. It's a knee-jerk reaction. And we are forgetting one very important element in all of this."

"Eren." Historia murmured.

"Yes. And while I confess that Jaeger can be an idiot at times - reckless and hot headed - I truly believe that his intentions are for the benefit of Paradis, and his comrades. I don't believe he would agree to go along with any detrimental plan Zeke may throw his way, and I don't believe, either, that he could be brainwashed or otherwise persuaded to change this. His will is too strong when he knows what he wants. He's too much of a titan sized pain in the ass, quite frankly." Levi put his head in his hands, suddenly reminded of the headache that the head strong Jaeger had personally caused him over the years. Yet it was somehow because of everything that they had been through together, that Levi still felt that he could trust Eren.

There was a small chuckle from across the table.

Levi looked up "What?"

"Nothing, Captain. It's just – you seem to be speaking from personal experience." Historia chuckled again.

"Hmph."Levi sat back and folded his arms.

"So, you think we're better off letting Zeke continue with his plan?" Historia was thoughtful. "Just go along with it? Because you trust Eren?"

"Erwin trusted Eren, and I trusted Erwin." Levi raised a hand to his temple. "I think, what we need, is time. I don't know what the right answer is, but I know turning you into a titan right now and consuming Zeke is not it."

Historia nodded, slowly. "Agreed, then. But you said saying 'No' is not going to cut it, right?" She folded her arms. "So how can I stop the government from physically forcing this on to me? What, are you going to be my personal body guard? I know you're Humanity's Strongest, Captain, but there's one hell of a lot more MPs than you."

Levi rolled his eyes. "Please. As though I'd have the time to hang out in some farmhouse drinking tea all day." He suddenly lent forward, his fingers steepled. "We've got to be smarter than that, Historia. We don't want them to think we're purposefully delaying their plans. How do you suppose we might do that?"

Historia raised an eyebrow quizzically. "I've no idea, Captain, but I feel as though you might be about to enlighten me?"

Levi tilted his head slightly, wondering how to best phrase what he needed to tell her next. He'd never been very good at this shit. "You're very important to the success of Paradis, Historia. The people love you. You're also the last of the Royal bloodline who is completely, undoubtedly loyal to this island. The government would never risk harming you ... or your offspring."

The Captain sat before Historia quietly, eyebrows raised, hoping that the emphasis placed on his last words would sink in.

"My … offspring?" Historia repeated back quietly. Suddenly, she snapped her head up to meet Levi's expectant gaze. "Wait, what? You want me to get pregnant!?"

[pghbabesonbikes]

Frigid Bitch 2019 Results

Frigid Bitch - back for year 6!

Continuing tradition as probably the biggest ladies/non-binary bike race in the universe with over 100 riders, this year’s Frigid Bitch expanded with first-time-ever-offered pre-registration and MORE PODIUMS. Held at Threadbare Cider in Spring Garden, at 10am on Saturday, February 16th, 2019, racers started flooding in to stock up on gear, check out the competition, and pick up their maps & manifests.

As always, there is a one hour window for racers to frantically plan their routes, forge alliances, and make friends. A few local ladies’ racing teams showed up in force, and some veteran Frigid Bitch ride-or-die gangs side-eyed up their matching kits and focused efficiency with determined fuck-it, let’s-do-this attitudes. New racers met riding partners on-site, and a handful of volunteers showed up to take in the crowd before heading out to their no-longer-secret positions.

A quarter to go-time, everyone was hustled outside to unlock their steeds and gear up for the start line.

THE CHECKPOINTS

Grandview Overlook Every year, for the out-of-towners, suburb queens, commuters who never stray from the beaten track - there’s always one checkpoint that everybody knows how to get to. Not that we’d make it easy! Pittsburgh’s famous overlook is a slag up Mt Washington, and with the main thru way closed, racers had to either bump it up via shattered sidewalks, or find away around. Volunteers were ready with a toast at the top!

Fineview Overlook In a city of hills and bridges you’re gonna have a lot of overlooks … Grandview’s much lesser known cousin on the Northside had racers figuring out how to find their way above the ballfield. Anyone who actually followed the map to this checkpoint found themselves climbing one of the toughest Dirty Dozen Hills….oh, did we do that? Whoops!

Herr’s Island Keep following the map in the other direction, and it’d take you down Rialto St (another Dirty Dozen Hill! Who drew this?!) and across the 30th St Bridge to Herr’s Island, haven of local crew teams and isolated Pgh elite. Everyone knows it’s there; most cyclists have zero reason to ever trek over. On the far end of the island, through some woods & down some steps to a gravel lot in a crumbling wall, volunteers were waiting with a camp fire to check off numbers of the racers who hiked-a-bike or threw down and hustled on foot.

5 Points Speaking of hike-a-biking, the furthest checkpoint from the start was tucked away in Pgh’s mountain biking mecca, Frick Park. There’s only one spot in the woods where 5 trails spike together in a star formations, colloquially known as…. FIVE POINTS!!! Entering the trail from Beechwood Blvd in Squirrel Hill, anyone who made it this far had to off-road their ride down dirt paths and over exposed roots. But hey, there was hot chocolate at the bottom! 

Murray Hill Not far from 5 points, Murray Hill Ave gave everyone the opportunity to experience off- roading on a one of the most quintessential Pgh urban this-is-actually-still-a-road terrains (second only to massive potholes): brutally steep cobbles!

Iron Eden Metal Works Oh, but there were potholes. Snaking the back way up & down bombed-out Sassafras St, nestled in the shadows of the Bloomfield Bridge, lies a two-tiered & strange-looking structure. ~By night!~ a times-past underground venue in the woods, ~by day!~ a rustbelt relic: Iron Eden!

Bonus checkpoint feature:  ~ * g l a m o u r   s h o t s * ~

The Hot Metal Bridge It’s a classic. Need we say more?  

The Boob Mausoleum Probably the most infamous tomb in the Allegheny Cemetery, the WHITE mausoleum features a bafflingly intense commitment to full-blown Egyptian theme&decor. Stationed just outside the crypt’s brass-cast pillar-flanked doors, 2 ~prominent~ sphinxes stand guard over the venerable (?) White family portal. Stationed just outside the sphinxes….Frigid Bitch BEACH PARTY!!

Mohawk St Finally, last in line but top of the list as far as checkpoint shenanigans go; bomb down Fifth Ave from Pitt campus and right before you hit the Birmingham Bridge, there’s a set of city steps that ascend into the woods of West Oakland. They spit out at Landslide Community Farms and a pink jersey barrier where volunteers waited with a camp fire* and a case of PBR. They’d set up a beer chute along the top of the stairs and stood in suspense while racers ran up the steps, not taking the bait. Finally, the vet bitch gang of Alex K, Katherine J and Frankie M threw their bikes over their shoulders, rushed the chute, grabbed a beer, cracked it with their teeth and chugged on the way up.

*if you missed the campfire, it’s because the fire dept showed up to put it out. See? Shenanigans!

Once the clock struck 2, everyone had 1 hour to race back to Threadbare. Bikes were slammed into the temp parking, road shoes clacked across the parking lot, the doors were thrown over and spoke card numbers hollered at the waiting table-side officials.

P A R T Y   T I M E

Pizza was eaten, cider was drunk, war stories were exchanged! Multi-year Bitch Queen Elise R regaled audiences with a story that started as a complaint that she couldn’t run any red lights on the North Side because there were too many cops around, then perked up with details about bombing down towards an intersection from Mohawk, where a white SUV veered into the corner of the intersection, blocking traffic for Elise & her crew to blast their way through, waved them past and yelled “YEAH FRIGID BITCH!!!”

Podiums

For the first time, the Frigid Bitch podium split into multiple categories. Singlespeed, Mountain Bike, Masters, and Out-Of-Town were added in addition to the all-encompassing Women & Nonbinary Open Field. Check back next year; more are comin!

Fixed/Singlespeed 1. Alexandra Korshin 2. Rachel Thompson

Masters 1. Louanna Bailey 2. Frankie Montenegro 3. Kelly Haderly 4. Monica VanDieran 5. Jen Damon 6. Suz Falvey

7. Christa Ross 8. Stacie Truszkowski 9. Barbara Jensen 10. Sarah Crawford 11. Simone Riddle 12. Suzanne Kinsky 13. Athena Marsh 14. Cynthia Billisits 15. Suzie Silver 16. Heather Mccracken 17. Jolynn Gibson 18. Kelli Jones 19. Dorothy Voelker

Mountain Bike 1. Suz Falvey 2. Vincent Zeng 3. Nikki Turner

Out Of Town 1. Jane Hodge 2. Caitlin Woodson 3. Sara Khalil Open Field Results! 1. Elise Rowe #10 2. Shaena Ulissi #18 3. Caryn Willis #73 4. Anna Bieberdorf #114 5. Katie Webber-Plank #93 6. Julie Grove #91

7. Louanna Baily #15 8. Lydia Yoder #50 9. Lindsay Dill #28 10. Alyssa Crawford #62

11. Jessie Appleman #87 12. Ania Jaroszewicz #6 13. Amy Wincek #111 14. Emily Palmer #54 15. LaurynStalter #79 16. Mary-Wren Ritchie #86 17. Alexandra Korshin #69 18. Frankie Montenegro #44 19. Katharine Jordan #78 20. Lan Tran #89 21. Naomi Anderson #107 22. Alexandria Shewczyk #29 23. Jaime Martina #26

24. Megan Andrews #43 25. Cansu Ozen #39 26. Sara Horsey #75 27. Shequaya Bailey #7 28. Kelly Haderly #84 29. Megan Sybeldon #46 30. Allison Glick #104 31. Acadia Klain #37 32. Robyn Brewer #34 33. Anna Barensfeld #52 34. Kelsey Kradel #83 35. Monica VanDieren #4

36. Jen Damon #80 37. Suz Falvey #88 38. Christa Ross #82 39. StacieTruszkowski #102 40. Greta Daniels #60 41. Elizabeth Salesky #33 42. Barbara Jensen #41 43. Sara Madden #92 44. Vanessa Jameson #110 45. Jane Hodge #112 46. Sarah Crawford #90 47. Rachel Dingfelder #59

48. Mary Kate Minnick #27 49. Caitlin Woodson #13 50. Simone Riddle #64 51. Sara Khalil #94 52. Suzanne Kinsky #71 53. Taylor Wescott #35 54. Kathleen Blackburn #49 55. Athena Marsh #57 56. Riesa Lirette #14 57. Vincent Zeng #32 58. Anna Faber #47 59. Erin Potts #51 60. Molly Orzechowski #666 61. Jenna DeVivo #23 62. Laura Watson #99 63. Ngani Ndimbie #108 64. Rachel Thompson #113 65. Alexandra Falk #81 66. Cynthia Billisits #48

67. Sarah Martin #97 68. Laura Everhart #53 69. Bonnie Weibel #61 70. Mary Jackson #65 71. Leah Nicolich #103 72. Charlie Eddington #106 73. Catherine Armbruster #42 74. Paula Zamora #16 75. Ramona Stanley #38 76. Morgan Sulik #21 77. Anusha Simha #119 78. Yvette Aban #58 79. Hwa Han #63 80. Sarah Scherk #101 81. Hayes Indigo #1

82. Milo Spiders #100 83. Jenna Geiman #22 84. Hannah Berg #31 85. Suzie Silver #56 86. Julie Mallis #36 87. Morgan Tunstall #30 88. Heather McCracken #45 89. Shannon Frishkorn #115 90. Jamie Parke #66 91. Kate Bechak #105 92. Jaclyn Sternick #74 93. Jolynn Gibson #40 94. Maureen Duncan #9 95. Kelli Jones #12 96. Sarah Pearman #96 97. Lauren McKenna #17 98. Jennifer Ross #20 99. Kimberly Garrett #98 100. Chen Li #55 101. Rachel Shockey #25 102. NickyTurner #95 103. HEather McClain #109 104. Emily Voelker #24 105. Nicole Toney #68 106. Jenny Bender #67 107. Shelby Schmidt #72 108. Dorothy Voelker #19 109. Elizabeth LeDonne #77

Prizes

Were there enough prizes to go around? Were people bugging the f out over how awesome they were? We’ll let these photos speak for themselves.

The Best Part

The Frigid Bitch has always been a race to promote empowerment in the cycling community, to show that underrepresented groups of people can kick just as much ass as the status quo, and to support organizations that in turn provide for  others in need. To that end, funds raised via registration fees and anonymous pledges have always been given to the Greater Pittsburgh Women’s Center & Shelter. Over the past year, another organization has provided immeasurable support for the founders of the Frigid Bitch in their hour of need. This year’s race raised $730 for the Women’s Shelter and $400 for the Women’s Law Project. It couldn’t be done without the support of our racers & our community.

THANK YOU for another great year! To all of our sponsors, who are solely responsible for the joy fest you just witnessed above! To all my lovely volunteers, without whom this race would never get off the ground, and who pull out all the stops to make this the funnest goddamn alleycat in the whole universe. Thank you to my photographers, without you no one would ever know how fucking awesome this event is! Thank you to my little brother, who always finds the time to churn out another amazing race flyer! THANK YOU TO MY TEAM OF LADIES who helped me throw this race! Without you, Frigid Bitch #5 would have been the last of its kind! Thank you Di-ay, Elise #1 & Elise #2, Kat, Mattie, & Kaylin! Thank you Pittsburgh for being the only city I’d ever wish to be from! I’LL BE BACK!

SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!

[milkandhoneyoongi]

lucky (hoseok imagine)

request: Hey! I really like your writing and was wondering if you’d be able to do a Hobi imagine where you get injured trying to learn a dance for your anniversary?

a/n: this is a sweet one and i enjoyed writing it so much... i know nothing about dance so i just left out some details about the choreography itself hahahhah enjoy

please please please send me a request here (i have none in my inbox that i have not written) and view my old imagines here

genre: angst / fluff

word count: 966 words

warnings: injury, curse word

        You had been staying out later, but that was all Hoseok knew. He didn’t know why, but in fairness, it was because he hadn’t asked. Not that you would have told him anyway, it was a surprise.

A few weeks out from your anniversary you had considered a number of gifts to give your dear Hobi, but no physical possession called your name. You thought back to when Hoseok had subtly mentioned that he’d love to see you dance after you mentioned you used to when you were in school and suddenly your anniversary gift came into fruition.

You had begun to work, quite literally, your ass off, trying desperately to learn his favorite choreography in time for your special day. Anticipating how difficult it would be, however, was not your strong suit, and about a week into training in a gym you realized you might never get it. Your natural reaction, of course, was to work even harder at it, dead set on learning the routine for him.

Arguably not your smartest idea.

It was the night before your anniversary when your body lost it. You had been working so hard to learn this dance for you, and it had gone in your favor at first, but when you didn’t land one of the jumps and found your torso thrown forward from the energy and you found yourself splayed on the ground with the most intense pain in your back you had ever felt.

Recognizing the throbbing pain to likely be the result of a muscular strain as opposed to a spinal fracture, you found yourself letting out a sharp breath of some warped kind of relief. However, when you tried to stand you realized that certainly was not an option, and for a moment you remained in your position on the ground, but figured your only way out was calling Hobi and telling him what happened.

“Jagi?” He answered on the second ring. It was almost as though he could sense something was wrong, a rise to his tone that revealed the ebbing of nerves in his throat.

“Hoseok…” You tried to control your breathing, not wanting to reveal the extent of the pain you were in. “I think I need your help.”

“Where are you?”

“It’s kind of a long story.”

“Well then make it shorter,” he gasped desperately, nervous that you were hiding something big from him. Or something small, for that matter. If you were hurt, he needed to know. “Do I need to call 119?”

“No,” you nearly laughed. He cared so much about you it made your heart flutter. “I was trying to learn a dance for you as your anniversary present and it was going really well but I didn’t land one of the jumps and I really hurt my back,” you murmured, knowing he would hang onto every word despite how quickly you let them fall from your tongue.

He sighed but you could hear the panic rising in his voice. “Where are you?”

You gave him the address of your dance studio you had been training in and he told you he’d be there in five minutes before he hung up. Continuing your attempts to stand up despite knowing it was a terrible idea, you began to scope out the degree of your injury. You were an athlete once, and you knew that muscles shouldn’t feel like this.

“Y/N tell me you aren’t trying to stand up right now.” You looked up to see the worried face of your boyfriend as he hurried over to you, dropping to a crouch by your side. “Where does it hurt? How bad on a scale of one to ten?”

“It’s my back, Hobi.” He cursed under his breath and you sighed. He was upset, and you hated seeing him upset. “I’m sorry.”

“Y/N don’t,” he shook his head, looking to you and brushing your hair from your face. “You know I’m not mad. You were doing this for me, and getting hurt was an accident. Now we just have to get you better.” You smiled as he pressed a sweet kiss to your forehead. “I don’t want to hurt you, but we gotta get you home.”

“Do what you must, my prince,” you smiled, feeling embarrassed and wanting to be in your apartment cuddled into Hoseok’s arms more than anything. He tucked one arm under your bent legs and the other behind your shoulders, pulling you to his chest and then rising to his feet. Sparks of pain emanated from your strained muscle and you let out a groan of pain. “I’m okay,” you quickly soothed his worries. “I’m okay.”

“Jagi, I’m so sorry,” he murmured, leaning down to leave a kiss your hair.

“It is… let’s say it’s nobody’s fault?” He nodded, letting out a laugh. He sat you down in the passenger seat, taking off his sweatshirt and bundling it into a makeshift pillow to provide cushioning between you and the seat. The soft gesture made your heart melt and you suddenly found yourself wracked with guilt. “Hobi, I don’t have a gift for you!”

“Jagi, I don’t care,” he sighed, “I just need to be with you. And then after you get better we can take it slow and learn something together.” You nodded, still upset. “I promise, Y/N. I don’t have a gift for you either, it fell through.”

“Really?” You turned to him, hopeful.

He bit his lip, “No. But we can pretend I don’t have one and then someone can come by tonight and leave some randomly thoughtful gift on our doorstep.” You laughed, the action sending another shooting pain down your back. “No more laughing for you, young one!”

You smiled, wondering to yourself how you got so lucky.

[datauthorress]

Ashes of Night [Chapter 3: Meet the Family]

Pairing: Arthur Morgan/Original Female Character

Summary: A young college student stumbles upon a man from the past, right in her very apartment. The man doesn't know why he's suddenly 119 years in the future, but maybe this is a second chance at a better life.

Warnings: familial abuse (sibling abuse) and one protective cowboy.

Over the course of the next few days, Arthur Morgan learned about the 21st century and mannerisms, even trending topics and the such. He learned about technology and Shelby explained how technology worked, including a cell phone and a computer. She was patient with him, teaching him about what happened in the 119 years since 1899, and he was quite a fast learner. In addiction, they asked each other questions about their lives and Shelby answered questions that she was comfortable with.

She was 25-years old, and was a professional author in the horror genre, and a college student, working towards a four year degree in Photography. Despite her attitude towards him, Arthur realized Shelby had multiple mental disorders, including Anxiety, Depression and sometimes, Insomnia. She had also been recently diagnosed with a small form of PTSD, due to an attack when someone tried to mug her while she was in New York a few months ago. Arthur wasn't quite sure how all the disorders worked, and with the facts and stories he had told Shelby, she was certain he had PTSD as well, though they couldn't prove it until he saw a psychologist.

Shelby had to explain to Arthur that her Anxiety can make her feel so many things at once; worry about so many little things, and even cry over them. Arthur had asked what could be done to help someone through an anxiety or panic attack, and she gave him some tips, in case she were ever to have one while he was around. Her cat was a registered 'Emotional Support' Animal and she was working on getting a Service Dog, whom she would be getting in the next month or so.

Arthur still had some trouble taking everything in, but Shelby promised him it would all be easier once he had been in the future for much longer. Arthur told her what he was comfortable with, and even showed her his artwork in his journal, which Shelby had commented happily. Shelby, besides being an author and photographer, was an artist and a painter on the side, and said she would take him to a painting class in South Bend sometime.

Sunday came too fast, too soon and Shelby was dreading going there and having to deal with her sister. She had three siblings, a younger sister and was the middle child in a set of triplets, with Seth being the oldest and Shepherd being the youngest. The three were fraternal twins, to which Shepherd and Seth only had some similar features.

She had made two dozen of chocolate chip cookies for her family, knowing her sister would just bribe her for cookies and then turn around and treat her like absolute garbage. Arthur didn't have siblings, so he didn't know just how bad their rivalry was. Shelby was a peacekeeper, Mia was a complete trouble maker and tended to get into drugs with her ass-hat of a boyfriend.

Shelby was completely dreading and more when they pulled into the driveway of their parents' house. Shelby was dressed casually, wearing a pair of black skinny jeans and a black t-shirt with her famous red and black plaid shirt, which Arthur noticed was her favorite shirt. She almost always wore it over something. Arthur was dressed like her, dark blue jeans that showed off his long legs and a blue plaid shirt and his black hat.

Shelby turned off the vehicle and pulled the keys out, grabbing her shoulder purse and the container of cookies from the back seat. She and Arthur stepped out of the car, just as an older woman came out of the front of the two-story house.

“Hi, baby!” the woman greeted as she hugged her eldest daughter.

“Hey mama.” Shelby said with a smile, hugging her mother back. “Mom, this is Arthur Morgan. He's my new roommate.”

“Pleased to meetcha, ma'am.” Arthur said politely, tipping his hat at her.

“Oh my, it's a pleasure to meet you as well, Mr. Morgan.” the older woman smiled. “Come inside!”

The three of them went inside the house, where Shelby took off her boots and set them by the door, Arthur following suit. He took off his hat as well and hung it up by the other hats on the coat rack. Shelby introduced Arthur to her father and brothers, who immediately took an interest in the cowboy.

“Where are you from, Mr. Morgan?” Allen asked, shaking Arthur's hand.

“Texas, born and raised.” Arthur replied with a nod, going with the story that he and Shelby agreed on.

“Texas, huh? I heard it's pretty hot out there.” Allen said.

“It is, 's that dry heat.” Arthur nodded.

“So, how did you meet my daughter?” Allen asked, to which Shelby rolled her eyes.

“Dad, you can ask him more questions later.” Shelby sighed, placing the container of cookies on the breakfast bar.

“Well, can we offer you anything, Mr. Morgan? Water, soda, a beer perhaps?”

“A beer would be mighty nice, Mr. Hartford.” Arthur replied.

“If you get drunk, I'm leaving you in the truck to sleep.” Shelby said, giving a light pat to Arthur's bicep. “Where's Maria?”

“Outside, playing with Parker. Go see her, sis.”

Shelby grumbled underneath her breath and told Arthur she'd be back in a few, then opened the sliding glass door that led to a decent sized backyard. Maria, who was two years younger than Shelby, was just walking up the steps with her white Peekinese, Parker. She paused when she saw her older sister. “Hey,” she said.

“Hey.” Shelby said.

“So, how are you doing?” Maria asked.

“I'm okay, getting ready for fall semester.” Shelby replied. “You?”

“Just working.” Maria replied, and glanced through the glass door, seeing their father speaking to Arthur. “That's your boyfriend, huh?”

“No, just a friend.” Shelby corrected, shaking her head.

“You sure? How'd someone so hot get into contact with you?”

Shelby felt her stomach churn. This is the reason she didn't want to deal with her sister 99 percent of the time. She kept a blank expression, taking a deep breath before exhaling. “Friends, nothing more.” she repeated, before walking back inside. She brushed past Arthur, who noticed her hands were trembling slightly. He didn't say anything, and watched as she sat down on the couch, and smiled when a small, white dog jumped onto her lap, licking her face.

He knew something wasn't right, and he already had a hunch.

With beef and noodles, there was mashed potatoes, salad and a fruit salad. Desert was Shelby's chocolate chip cookies, and Maria brought a chocolate pie, while Shepherd brought an excellent cake that he made from scratch. He was going to school to be a professional baker and planned on opening his own shop. They sat outside on the large deck, having the umbrella up to block out the sun. Arthur and Shelby sat next to each other on one side, while Shepherd sat on the other side of Arthur and Maria sat on the end next to Shelby, with Seth on the other end and Maria's boyfriend and their parents on the other side.

Shelby hardly spoke, letting her parents ask Arthur questions. She poked at her food for a few minutes, before she began eating. She began to notice Maria leaning over, her hand disappearing underneath the wooden table and then she felt her began to pinch her, hard, right through her jeans. Shelby jolted from the pinches and moved away from Maria, but the youngest sibling found a way to keep pinching her, whether it was with her toes or fingers.

Arthur's deep, baritone laugh brought Shelby out of her thoughts and she felt her face flush upon hearing it. She loved the sound of it.

“Ow! Stop pinching me, Shelby!”

Shelby jumped in her seat, startled when Maria exclaimed out, holding her thigh in fake pain. “I'm not even near you...” Shelby muttered.

“Girls, please don't start.” Suzanna, their mother, sighed.

Shelby went quiet once more, finishing her food faster than everyone else. She informed that she was going to put her plate up, then go to the bathroom. She did just that and did her business in the bathroom, washing her hands afterwards. She had examined her thigh, seeing the already forming bruises on her pale skin. She only shook her head and started to open the door, when it swung in forcefully and hit her right in the nose. She staggered backwards, holding her nose and winced when fingers dug into her short locks painfully, tugging.

“Seriously, what does Arthur see in you?” Maria sneered, digging the nails of her other hand into Shelby's shoulder painfully. “You're nothing but a lowlife, scum of the earth. Mom said that you nearly died during birth. You should've.”

Shelby opened her mouth to speak, to defend herself, but Maria's fist came barreling towards her, hitting her right in the face. It happened quite a few times, and once she was satisfied, Maria tossed Shelby onto the floor, letting her suffer from a bleeding nose.

“I'll always been the favorite. You know that, so quit trying to make everyone else look bad.” she scoffed, before leaving the bathroom.

It took Shelby a few minutes before she got up, beginning to clean up the mess. Some blood dripped onto her black shirt, but it was easy to hide, so she wiped it up as best as possible. After a couple more minutes, she heard a knock on the door, and Arthur's voice.

“Ya 'right in there, Shelby? Yer sister said somethin' about a bloody nose.”

“I'm fine.” she replied, spitting out blood into the sink.

“Ya don' sound fine.” the man said and opened the door, startled when he saw the lower half of her face covered in streaks of blood. “Jesus, wha' the hell happened?”

“Maria happened, Arthur.” Shelby sighed, muffled by the tissue.

“C'mere. Lemme see that nose....” he said, pulling the tissue away from her nose. He could see light bruising beginning to form around her nose, and even around her left eye. “She hit ya? Over what?” he asked, grabbing a fresh tissue and holding it to her nose.

“It's always been like this.” Shelby muttered, looking down at the floor as Arthur held a hand on her shoulder, keeping her still. “She's always wanted the attention. She's jealous of my success, and miserable that she's stuck with a dead-end job because she's lazy and got kicked out of school because of her grades.”

“And she abuses ya because of that? I reckon that's jus' stupidity.” Arthur shook his head.

Shelby shrugged, and Arthur found himself hating the way she just dismissed it. No sibling should abuse the other just because of the other's success. It was wrong. It was vile. Shelby had been patient with him, though she did get annoyed at times, but she never once got snappy with him, or tried to insult him or hit him. He hadn't been here a week yet, and he found himself wanting to protect the young woman who took his life in her hands, teaching him about the ways of the 21st century and helping him through it, instead of letting him rot.

Shelby sniffled, bringing the older man out of his thoughts. He pulled the tissue away from her nose, examining it. “Looks like the blood stopped.” he said, tossing the tissue in the trash. He grabbed another one and got it wet, before he gently wiped the blood away from her face.

“I'm fine, Arthur.” she said quietly.

“Don' give me that.” Arthur scoffed. “Ya want me t' say somethin'?”

“No, just....leave it be for now.” Shelby sighed, sniffling again.

After a moment, he agreed and got her cleaned up, then they both left the bathroom and headed downstairs. Shepherd and Seth had begun cleaning up dinner, talking among themselves.

“You okay, honey?” Suzanna asked.

“I'm fine, mom.” Shelby nodded, going to sit on the couch. The smaller dog, a chihuahua, jumped onto her lap and immediately rolled over for belly rubs.

Arthur walked over to the coat rack and grabbed his hat off of it, before walking over to Shelby. “Here.” he said, plopping the hat onto her head gently. “Hold that fer me.”

Shelby was startled when Arthur plopped the hat onto her head and she looked up at him from under the hat, before she flushed and looked down quickly, hiding underneath the hat.

Suzanna laughed. “It looks good on you, sis!”

“Shut up.” Shelby mumbled, embarrassed.

After the dishes were done and everything was cleaned up, it was time for desert. Nearly everyone took a cookie, except for Maria, who claimed her cookies were better and also insulted Shepherd's cake, which made him glare at her.

“Maria, please....” Shelby said quietly.

“Please, what?” Maria snapped. “And take that hat off, you look dumb as fuck with it on.”

Shelby's hands shook and her face flushed as tears formed in her eyes. She hid her face underneath the black hat, clutching it as her shoulders trembled. Arthur could see tears sliding down her cheeks and his heart ached for the sweet, young woman. His eyebrows scrunched, and his blue eyes narrowed. He wasn't holding back anymore.

“I think ya outta leave, miss.” Arthur spoke, directing his suggestion to Maria.

“Excuse me?” Maria blinked.

Arthur's broad arm went around Shelby's trembling shoulders, bringing her against his side, as if to protect her from the world around them. Shelby was surprised, and glanced up at the older man from under the hat.

“Ya heard me.” Arthur said. “Why ya gotta abuse yer sister? Huh? She's done nothin' wrong to ya, except maybe a few names here and there. She's a sweet girl, unlike yourself.”

“Excuse me?!” Maria exclaimed.

“I haven't known Shelby for that long, but she's a brilliant young woman.” Arthur said, his grip tightening on her shoulder slightly, though not painful in any way. “And if yer jealous of her success, then why don' ya just make yer own success, instead of abusing yer sister for hers. I can't stand siblings who abuse each other for stupid reasons, and ya, miss, are one of those siblings.”

“H-how dare you-?!”

“Maria, just leave.” Suzanna said, angry. “You've done enough. Also, get rid of that shitty boyfriend you have. He's just dragging you under.”

Maria stared at everyone for a long moment before she burst into loud crying and left the house, her boyfriend tailing after her. Arthur sighed, looking down at Shelby who was staring at him in awe. “Aw, don' look at me like that, Shelby. Friends gotta stick up fer each other.” he said, reaching up to wipe her tears away with his thumb.

The rest of the night went by smoothly and around 10 PM, Shelby decided it was time to leave and gave her family hugs, before she and Arthur went back to the apartment. Arthur hadn't asked for his hat back, letting her wear it. Once they were in the apartment, Shelby took her shoes off, hanging her purse and keys up by the door.

“Look, I'm sorry fer embarrassin'-” Arthur began.

He was interrupted when the young woman turned towards him and her arms were going around his middle, pressing against his chest in a gentle, but firm hug. Arthur was startled for a moment, before he relaxed and placed an arm around her shoulders and the other around her head, rubbing the back of her head almost affectionately.

“Thank you, Arthur.” Shelby said softly, pressing her face into his shirt.

“Don' mention it, kid.” he said, rubbing the back of her head.

[lunaamatista]

Tokyo Ghoul Live Action

I got to watch the Tokyo Ghoul movie yesterday at a local cinema, a bit of a rarity in my country! I wanted to write a few of my thoughts and observations (mostly the latter) before I forget anything.

A few things might have been touched upon in @makyun ’s own writeup, so I suggest checking hers out as well. 

The movie spans chapters 1-28, right up to the Anteiku crew leaving the scene of Kureo’s death. Chapter 29, the final chapter of volume 3 where Amon reminisces about his time with Kureo, is not included. 

Extremely spoilery spoilers ahead.

I will not make a linear summary of the movie, but this does go heavily into spoilers. Unless you a) can't watch it b) won't watch it c) don't mind spoilers, I recommend skipping the first section.

My sister and her boyfriend watched the movie with me, so I was able to discuss with people who don’t know the series.

Thoughts on events and changes

The movie starts out with a narration about what ghouls are and how they became a threat to Tokyo, and how the CCG came to be. It sounds like a very much like a narration of the past. No mention of OEK, Washuus, or RC cells (I think?). 

RC cells, kagunes, kakuhous, quinques, aren’t explained at all because there’s a sense of normalcy about them. (My sister called kagunes “quinques,” actually.) Ghoul regeneration is subtly explained by Touka just by saying to fight without fear because it’s possible.

I though the film did much better than the manga at showcasing just how cunning an investigator Mado was, and how good Amon was at following his lead. 

To go further in depth, when killing (Fueguchi) Asaki, whose kagune we get to see on screen, Amon cracks open his hands with a rock (thankfully offscreened) and retrieves his wedding ring, which serves to Mado/Amon to figure he has a wife (Mado refuses to say a "wife" and corrects the term with "aging companion" or something). Their only lead is a thread of a woman's dress, for which they track down its selling place and retrieve their security tapes. Ryouko is pinned down as a main suspect due to being out at midnight to visit Asaki's grave, confirmed a ghoul when seeing her ring, and speculated to have a child due to the dress she purchased being XS. 

As such, the scene with Kaneki and Touka going to the CCG is completely gone, and Hinami isn't identified as “the girl with clover clothing” either.

It’s made very clear that Hinami running away from Anteiku was a trap set up by Mado. 

Amon fights head on and is very work oriented. There’s the rock scene mentioned above, but also him getting his hands dirty to dig Asaki’s grave, and saying he had eaten kitsune (udon?) just because it was quick when he goes out for dinner with Kusaba. Kusaba sort of apologizes for taking his time by ordering fresh fried tempura and Amon said he would try it next time. ;v;

Kaneki is also already suspected to be a ghoul - at Hinami's request, he goes leave coffee beans at Asaki's grave, and because Ryouko had been spotted at that place, Kusaba was keeping watch. He helps Amon dig up Asaki's grave, and is pulled along investigations because he was the only one who had seen Kaneki. So Amon knows of the existence of an eyepatch ghoul, but it isn't certain whether he's aware he's the one he's fighting once their confrontation comes.

The scene with Nishiki, Hide, and Kaneki happens inside the University, in a sort of basement that’s used as a club room. I wonder how they could ever explain that... Hide still tries to hold Nishiki back. Once he uses a kagune, Kaneki is clearly stronger than Nishiki, but he eventually defeats him with wits before Touka arrives (with Yomo!). As a side note here, I thought it was really interesting how Nishiki uses his kagune very naturally for things such as elevating himself into a platform instead of using the stairs. Also, the strength of a ghoul's body is shown here with Kaneki's first attacks without a kagune, rather than with Kaneki trying to stab himself.

Speaking of that scene, Kaneki did try to eat Hide and licked his face or something. Rize also did this once Kaneki had been injured. There was a scene with eye liking somewhere but I can’t remember who that was. Both scenes did a good job of showing a ghoul's unrestrained hunger.

When trying to eat Hide, Kaneki sees his reflection as Rize instead of as himself. 

In Kaneki's and Amon's fight, Kaneki comes back to his senses by himself after seeing his reflection in a pool of blood...

And regarding that scene, Amon isn't wearing an eyepatch, but a drop/tear of blood from Kaneki's kakugan eye does fall directly from Kaneki's eye onto Amon's eyelid, where he does wear the eyepatch after the fight with Kaneki. Make what you will out of that.

Easter eggs + random observations

Hide's famous ugly drawing does make it into the movie, but in a different scene (also, I started crying, don't ask).

Hajime's scene as a small child is in, but he doesn't have his ID tag.

CCG investigators have a small pin they wear on their lapels like they do in the manga, but the design looks more like a circle with wings than the small button-like one in the manga.

Amon does have the cross. You can see the lighter beads/chain, but the cross itself is hard to spot as it's black. As a side note, my sister is a jeweler and said it might be hematite. It is identical in design to the one in chapter 134. As my sister showed me at home, a hematite cross is apparently a thing we own. Other candidates: tungsten/wolfram, but not particularly popular in jewelry; rhodium, apparently a pain in the ass to work with; obsidian, but very frail and would be rare outside of the Americas.

While I did say Hinami wasn't associated with clovers by the CCG, I believe her headband had them.

There is a flashback of Kaneki with his mother. He was a very cute child. When his mother dies, there are flowers inside the casket (I can’t remember, but they might have been daisies).

The reference to The Metamorphosis is in. When Kaneki is realizing he can't eat human food, a bug is seen in place of Kaneki's shadow right before his kakugan activates.

Hinami is reading Demian instead of Monochrome Rainbow.

Sister's observations on literary references: Kaneki mentions Dear Kafka to Rize before the scene with The Metamorphosis is in. Kaneki remarks on Hinami reading Hesse before explaining the analogy of the egg and the world to her. (Basically, my sister is saying the references were so in your face you were supposed to spot them.)

Amon visits Kureo's grave to leave lilies. Ryouko (probably) had planted a lily bud too where Asaki's grave was located.

On the Mado grave, Kureo is stated to have died at 41, Kasuka at 33. Given the timeline of events, I believe this makes Kasuka around two years older. Forget it, I tried to make sense of that here. Also, Akira would've been 21 at this point.

Visual effects + more random observations

Rize is ten times more beautiful moving on screen than you can see on the still shots.

I'll have you know Kaneki bit a sandwich vertically instead of horizontally. (That might be normal somewhere, just not for me.)

Amon drives a very unthreatening looking black SUV, which gets completely wrecked.

The CCG has very interesting, stark white, training/sparring rooms. We are blessed with the sight of training Amon.

The masks look more fitting to real life than the ones in the manga, and Touka's showed signs of wear.

Anteiku looked like a very real, upscale coffee shop, with the kind of cute coffee-related signs you'd usually see in one.

Kagunes seem to be alive and pulsing. Rize's/Kaneki's is kind of scaly and the scales sometimes move with a kind of shiver/twitch. Nishiki's feels very amphibious. Asaki's is a pretty terrifying spine-looking thing (stating the obvious here) with sharp blades on its sides and end. Ryouko's looks like raw muscles/tendons. (Hinami's, of course, are both). Touka's is pretty interesting - a solid wing that shoots off shards. It looks like red candy.

Quinques come in a beautiful black suitcase and expand from the handle. When out of the suitcase, they produce a sort of mechanical buzz.

Doujima 1/2 can activate three spinning sections (two spin in one direction, the middle one in the opposite), but it mostly seems to work with the raw strength of whoever's wielding it to deliver strong blows, as it doesn't have sharp elements to cut. Just how strong was Harima?

We don’t get to hear about Shinohara, Arima, or Juuzou, who I believe had shown up / been mentioned in the first volumes.

Overall thoughts 

The movie is 119 minutes long, but I really enjoyed it movie overall and I feel it's worth the time, even if you're a pretty picky viewer. I found the way the events developed to be very well resolved as an adaptation, and despite instances where the CGI does seem to go slightly down in quality, it wasn't distracting at all. 

A thing to keep in mind is that Japanese (specifically, live action) acting and cinematography is somewhat different than what you’d expect from Hollywood or European art films, so I just suggest letting yourself get immersed in it instead of getting caught in these subtleties. 

As a manga reader, it felt a bit slow paced to me, but as fresh viewers, my sister and her boyfriend thought it was very good at packing the exact amount of information needed, and thus it didn't feel slow to them. My sister also said the first half is excellent and has the feeling of the Japanese horror stories I've made her read. I am pretty used to gore in the story, but neither of us thought felt it was there as shock factor alone and she said it was sufficient to make you buy into the horror of the situation. All in all, all three of us really enjoyed it. /o/

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #119 - Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Spoilers Below

Have I Seen It Before: Yes.

Did I Like It Then: Yes.

Do I Remember It: Yes.

Did I See It In Theaters: No

Edit: At the time of writing this I did not see the film in theaters, but have recently.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #565.

Format: DVD

1) Starting this comedy/noir film off with what appears to be an animated cartoon from the 40s is a good way of establishing tone for a few reasons. First of all it tells us what kind of toons Roger and company are. The kind that star in short after short after short like Mickey Mouse or Bugs Bunny, as opposed to say the Care Bears (it was the 80s, so I’m going with that example) who had a TV Show and a movie. It also introduces us to Roger, Baby Herman, the idea of ACME in cartoons, and Maroon studios. Also the film’s excellence in slapstick is there from the get go.

2) But as soon as the cartoon is over, we’re in the “real” world. This film has a slight bit of edge to it that I wildly appreciate. Not like Martin Scorsese edge, but come on. This is a film starring animated characters that has swearing, murder, sexual innuendo galore, and an alcoholic main character. For example in the original version of the film (now edited out): after Baby Herman walks under the skirt of a female employee on set, his finger is extended upward and has some liquid on it. That is VERY adult but will go over the heads of children.

3) According to IMDb:

Joel Silver's cameo as the director of the Baby Herman cartoon was a prank on Disney chief Michael Eisner by Robert Zemeckis and Steven Spielberg. Eisner and Silver hated each other from their days at Paramount Pictures in the early '80s, particularly after the difficulties involved in making 48 Hrs. (1982). Silver shaved off his beard, paid his own expenses, and kept his name out of all initial cast sheets. When Eisner was told, after the movie was complete, who was playing the director - Silver was nearly unrecognizable - he reportedly shrugged and said, "He was pretty good."

4) Bob Hoskins as Eddie Valiant.

Eddie is a wildly interesting character. He’s a former goofball who has kept his sharp tongue for wiseass remarks and being a pain in the ass, which is always appreciated by me. His conflict is incredibly interesting (more on that later) and he’s just a great character to follow around in this world.

Bob Hoskins is perfect for this role. I’ll go into detail on this later but his interactions with the cartoon characters look easy when they’re not, and Hoskins is able to balance the sourpuss aspect of Eddie’s personality with the wiseass, heartache, alcoholism, and former goofball in a complete package.

According to IMDb:

On the Special Edition DVD, Robert Zemeckis recounts that he had stated in a newspaper interview that Bill Murray was his and producer Steven Spielberg's original choice for the role of Eddie Valiant, but neither could get in contact with him in time. Bill Murray, in turn, has stated that when he read the interview he was in a public place, but he still screamed his lungs out, because he would have definitely accepted the role.

I think Hoskins can’t be replaced though.

5) This film is more of a noir film than an animated fantasy. You have your archetypes like RK Maroon begin the big money slime, Judge Doom is the shady government official, and Jessica Rabbit it the femme fatale. This is felt in every aspect of the film, from the cinematography right down to Alan Silvestri’s wonderful music.

6) Remember how I said Eddie had a great conflict?

Angelo [bar patron who Eddie flipped out on]: “What’s his problem?”

Dolores [Eddie’s sort-of-girlfriend and bar owner]: “Toon killed his brother.”

Like that is such a strange idea, a murderous toon, and it provides such great conflict for Eddie. A conflict which we see laid out before us when the camera takes the time to look at all the stuff on his and Teddy’s desk. You SEE that Eddie is in pain, and without a flashback you see the guy he used to be when his brother was around. The fun goofball who liked working Toontown and helpings toons out. To go from that to where he is now takes a lot of heartbreak.

7) I love that the password to get into the Ink & Paint Club is, “Walt sent me.”

8) Daffy and Donald Duck.

This is the first (and to date only) time cartoon characters owned by Warner Brothers and Disney have appeared in a film together. Since the film was being made by Disney, WB only allowed to have their characters show up if the major characters had the same amount of screen time as the Disney characters. That’s why Donald/Daffy and later Mickey/Bugs always share the screen together.

As a kid THIS was my favorite part of the film! The crossover aspect. Getting to see characters interact who normally don’t. AND they got the official actors at the time to voice them. Mel Blanc voices all his Looney Tunes characters, Tony Anselmo is Donald, and Wayne Allwine is Mickey Mouse. These aren’t cheap cameos, these are the genuine articles and that’s amazing!

9) There are also some appearances by non-Disney/non-WB characters, such as Betty Boop.

I think the inclusion of Betty is a nice way to pay respect to the early days of studio animation, and her original voice actress was still alive at the time so she got a chance to reprise the character.

10) Jessica Rabbit.

Before anything else, I would just like to point out that Jessica’s proportions are PURPOSEFULLY impossible. I think that this is done to play into the idea of her being a femme fatale, but more so even to critique some of the ridiculous bodies animated female characters have (but that last part may just be wishful thinking on my part). Kathleen Turner unfortunately does not get credit for her voiceover work as Jessica, which is a shame because she gives the character so much of her heart and intrigue. When she’s just the femme fatale Jessica’s a bit of a stereotype but by the end of the film she becomes truly interesting to me because she doesn’t just fill that role. There’s also a fan theory about Jessica I’m totally onboard with, but more on that later.

11) Robert Zemeckis’ films are marked for their incredible special effects, and Who Framed Roger Rabbit is no exception. Ask yourself: every time an animated character opens a door, or moves a desk, or splashes water, or bumps into a lamp, or (in the case of Jessica) pulls Eddie close to them by his tie and then lets him go, how did they do that on set? Because they had to! CGI is not a factor in this film. The animation is done by drawing over the film that was shot in the traditional fashion, but everything else had to be done practically on set. It’s so subtle and so natural that I marvel at it every time.

12) Okay, I love the theory that Jessica Rabbit is asexual. If you want to read the full post click the link above but here are the basic points of argument:

She’s in love with a rabbit because he makes her laugh.

She uses her body to get things she wants from people, but outside of that doesn’t she interest in anybody.

Her line, “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.”

Her line, “You don’t know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.”

The only thing that really contradicts the theory is that later in the movie Eddie says to Jessica that Roger is a better lover than a driver, to which she replies, “You better believe it buster.” But I can easily see that as her defending his loving husband side instead of any sexual prowess.

13) Another thing that supports the asexual Jessica theme is that instead of her doing anything sexual with Marvin Acme, she plays Patty Cake with him. Like literally, patty cake.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

That is a joke I did not understand as a child.

14) I haven’t talked too much about Roger’s voice actor yet, Charles Fleischer.

During filming, Charles Fleischer delivered Roger Rabbit's lines off camera in full Roger costume including rabbit ears, yellow gloves and orange cover-alls. During breaks when he was in costume, other staff at the studios would see him and make comments about the poor caliber of the effects in the "rabbit movie".

Fleischer’s voice IS Roger in so many ways. All he can do to deliver Roger’s heart is speak, and Fleischer’s performance in this film is not to be underwritten because it is amazing. It is full with such life, such heart, and a surprising amount of honesty. It works brilliantly.

15) You have to keep your eyes open for the little innuendos in this film. For example, when Eddie meets Jessica at the crime scene he quickly peeks down at her boobs. This is the first time I’ve ever noticed that and I’ve seen this film a lot.

16) Christopher Lloyd as Judge Doom.

Director Robert Zemeckis had worked with Lloyd on their most iconic film Back to the Future (where Lloyd played Doc Brown), and now Lloyd gets to show off his villainous side. He is wonderfully and gleefully evil, showing no remorse and has a cartoon like quality which makes the bad guy work wonderfully in the role. He’s just threatening enough but also just funny enough. And Lloyd never phones it in once. It’s a fantastic performance through and through.

16.5) Can we talk about how this judge just murdered a cartoon shoe for no other reason than to show that he could and no one stopped him. Like, is the shoe technically a prop and so it doesn’t count as murder? Because that thing seems more alive than a prop!

17) So I talked about Roger’s voice actor but not much about Roger as a character yet.

Roger is a pure cartoon character, and I mean that in a sort of literal sense. He’s not tainted by greed or hatred, he is pure joy and humor. A bit of a dunce but he trusts people and WANTS to see the best in them. His entire purpose in life is to make people life and that feeds every decision he makes. It’s a wonderful cartoon counterpart to Hoskins as Eddie.

18) Hoskins’ interactions with Roger is where he shines. Because remember, Hoskins was not on set with Rogers. He was looking at an empty space which would be drawn in latter. But when you watch the film he’s never looking through the space. He’s miming it excellently, he is looking AT an animated character who isn’t even there yet. It’s amazing and the key reason he excels in the role.

19) I never caught this line before.

Roger [asking Eddie for help]: “You know there’s no justice for toons anymore.”

So toons are sort of a disenfranchised minority. That’s an interesting concept. If there’s a sequel maybe they’ll play with it.

20) According to IMDb:

When Eddie takes Roger Rabbit into the back room at the bar where Dolores works to cut apart the hand-cuffs, the lamp from ceiling is bumped and swinging. Lots of extra work was needed to make the shadows match between the actual room shots and the animation. Today, "Bump the Lamp" is a term used by many Disney employees to refer to going that extra mile on an effect just to make it a little more special, even though most audience members will never notice it.

21) @theforceisstronginthegirl, this is for you:

(GIF originally posted by @i-am-the-wallflower)

Nothing sums up Roger more than the fact that he can only get out of those handcuffs when it’s funny. It feeds into how Roger entertains all the guys at the tavern because they’re down on their luck, even though they could turn him over to Doom for a ton of cash (but they don’t). He believes in the power of laughter.

22)

Judge Doom [upon observing the record on the record player]: “‘The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down’. Quite a looney selection for a bunch of drunken reprobates.”

“The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down” is the theme to the Looney Tunes shorts.

23) The rest of the bar scene is filled with so many great cartoon gags. The fact that Judge Doom is able to lure Roger out by having him respond to, “Shave and a haircut,” is great. But a subtler reference is how Eddie gets Roger to drink the alcohol and loose control (thereby freeing himself from Doom). They go back and forth where Eddie wants Roger to drink the drink but Roger doesn’t want it, but when Eddie says Roger DOESN’T want the drink Roger says he wants it just to continue the conflict. Sound familiar?

24) Benny the cab is another fun original character added to the film, and he’s the same voice over actor as Roger!

25) I find this hysterical.

Benny [right before they’re going to hit a car]: “Pull the lever!”

Eddie: “Which one?”

Roger: “Which one?”

Benny: “‘WHICH ONE?’!?”

26) I am so ashamed of myself that I never caught the Back to the Future reference this film makes! Benny is driving down an alleyway and the evil weasels are driving straight towards him, and one of the weasels declares, “I’m gonna ram him!” Well in Back to the Future (also directed by Robert Zemeckis) Biff Tannen is about do the same thing to Marty McFly and says the EXACT same line as we get the EXACT same shot of his car!

I love that.

27) Me too Roger, me too.

Roger [expecting another cartoon to play in the movie theater but it’s a news reel]: “I hate the news.”

28) When we were introduced to Roger in the opening cartoon, I was trying to dissect what made him a unique cartoon character. Like Donald has his temper tantrums, Bugs Bunny is a wise guy, and Roger I’ve discovered likes to go on tangents. Like someone will tell him to do something and he’ll talk for five minutes about how well he’ll do it even when no one is around to listen. I like that.

29) The animated bullets Eddie uses in the gun given to him by Yosemite Sam are very much in the style of Chuck Jones and I can appreciate that.

30) It’s pretty fun watching for all the animated characters the filmmakers inserted into Toontown.

31) Droopy Dog is another cartoon character who shows up despite not being owned by Disney or WB. This meant he got to show up again later in an animated Roger Rabbit cartoon.

32) When Eddie is in a Toontown bathroom there’s writing on the wall that says, “For a Good Time Call Alyson ‘Wonderland’,” but then there’s no phone number. The theatrical release DID have a phone number but it was Michael Eisner’s home phone (I think) so it was edited out for the home video release.

33) What could possibly top Donald Duck & Daffy Duck dueling pianos?

I love everything about this. But it also gets to another agreement between WB & Disney: Disney did not want any of their characters doing anything to harm Eddie, so that’s why when he gets the “spare” from Mickey & Bugs (it’s a spare tire but he thought it was a parachute) it is BUGS who gives it to him!

Honestly it’d be awesome if Disney and WB could make more crossover cartoons. That would be pretty awesome.

34) File this one under jokes I didn’t get as a kid:

35) So Judge Doom’s end goal, his whole villainous plan, is to construct...a freeway? God, if it weren’t for the twist coming up that would’ve been so stupid.

36) Eddie’s comedy routine is great. It shows Bob Hoskins’ skill at slapstick and goofball and is just a joy to watch. Also we get this fun line:

Eddie: I'm through with taking falls / And bouncing off the walls / Without that gun, I'd have some fun / I'd kick you in the...

[bottle falls on his head]

Roger: Nose!

Head Weasel: Nose? That don't rhyme with "walls."

Eddie: No, but this does. [kicks Head Weasel in the balls, propelling him into a vat of Dip]

37) Doom is a toon!

This is a nice twist in the film that you can totally see was setup if you’re looking for it. Christopher Lloyd is able to play Doom with an even bigger sense of cartoony evil, and it means his end goal of a freeway isn’t so stupid after all.

38) The train that hits the dip machine at the end has a bunch of window. If you go through it frame by frame, each window depicts someone being murdered. Fun fun fun.

39) According to IMDb:

The opening track on the Sting album "...Nothing Like the Sun", the song "The Lazarus Heart" was originally written as the movie's musical finale, at an early stage of the movie's production when the book's tragic ending, where Roger is killed in the crossfire during the final duel, was still in the script. When the studio ordered its default ending to be used at the film's end, in which Roger is alive at the end of the duel, however, the song was deleted from the script and ended up on Sting's album instead.

40) I like that the film ends not only with the classic, “That’s All Folks,” but also Tinkerbell to let us know this was special.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit is awesome. It’s fun, funny, gives us interesting characters, has effects which stand the test of time even 29 years later, and is just a wonderful ride. Hoskins’ performance and the animation are the true standouts here, but that is not to discredit any of the other amazing aspects of the film. A true joy to watch all the way through.

[lostrosza-blog]

Feelings and entries

1-12-2017 I only had part of a biscuit today! I'm starting to see that my hair is falling out now... I can't touch my hair without it falling out. This reminds me of the last few months of senior year in high school when I couldn't even run my hands threw it without pulling quite a lot of strands. 1-18-2017 Today I weighed 122.2 pounds... I hadn't lost anything or gained anything... I still felt so good. A lot better than I have for a while. Closer to perfection. I can see the bones in my hands and my collar bones are sticking out. I can start to see my chest bones too. My rib cage is still a work-in-progress but it's getting there. If I lay down, my rib cage and hip bones stick out a little bit. I felt super accomplished. I did so well today until 4 pm... I hate myself for binging. I wanted to purge so bad but it usually takes a long time. I also binged on pizza, which would have been almost impossible to purge since it clumps. I didn't even drink water with each bite. I was so hungry though... I cried... That's the second time this week that I've cried or been super close to crying from being so hungry. This weekend, I binged on rice. I didn't even realize I was hungry until I saw food. As I was eating the rice, it was like I couldn't shove it in my mouth fast enough. It doesn't even make sense. Even after the binge from tonight, I still felt cold. What is happening?? I don't understand. And I don't want Ana, but I need Ana. I'm trying to get rid of her. But I'll never get rid of her if I keep on eating. I hope if I gain weight from the binge, it goes away fast. I had 32 pounds left to go today but I fucked it up by eating. I hate myself. 1-24-2017 Today I am 119 pounds, 2 pounds lighter than yesterday. It feels so good. At this rate, I'm losing about 2 pounds a day. If I keep this up, I could probably be around 111 by Friday! There are really no words for my excitement... I can't really see my progress though. I step on the scale 4 times just to make sure that I'm seeing the number correctly because I don't believe it. I notice that my weight has dropped, but it's not enough.... Not my legs, thighs, hips, stomach, arms, hands, Ribcage, back, chest bones, collar bones. They aren't enough. I wonder when they are going to be bony enough, perfect... I wonder when the voice inside my head will go away. My thoughts are very conflicted and confusing. I want to be perfect so bad. But I know that what I am doing isn't healthy. I understand that. And I want help. But I don't. How could I even explain to someone? I have tried. I told my boyfriend, two roomies, and one guy friend. But they all don't understand. They seem to get this look when they look at me like I'm damaged. I won't deny that I am, but it's degrading. And the voice in my head questions me whenever I mention this situation to anyone. I am a little bit scared. I stay up at night, just scared that one moment, my heart may just stop. A lot lately, it feels pressure and sometimes It feels like someone is squeezing my heart. But I can't stop. It's funny. People think that you can just pull yourself out of ED all by yourself. It's not like that. They say, "just eat" (which is actually quite insulting by the way). It doesn't work like that. I wish it did. I don't wanna feel cold, get sick so easily, get migraines, feel nauseous, weak, lightheaded, faint, fatigued all the time. As much , if not more than I want these physicasualties of the war in my head to go away, I crave them. If I don't feel cold, get headaches, have sunken eyes, etc... Where are my signs that I'm winning, achieving something, getting closer to perfection? It's not good enough. I want to sleep normally again. My thoughts of anxiety keep me up. "It's really cold. What will the scale say tomorrow? Will I be lighter? How much will I lose tomorrow? What will tomorrow look like? Will my Ribcage and hip bones finally start to stick out tomorrow like I want? Will I get a headache or faint tomorrow? My heart hurts again. I hope it doesn't just stop. When will I be perfect and lovable to someone? Will I genuinely hate myself tomorrow? Will I feel like killing myself tomorrow? How much more sick do I have to get? When will all of this stop?" That's just a brief dialog on how my thoughts go at night. I worry and hold my heart a lot. Sometimes it gets hard to breath. I hate not knowing what is going to happen. So it keeps me up. I'm almost afraid sometimes that if I fall asleep, my heart will just stop. Whenever I gain fear though, it's only lost within minutes or seconds with my other anxieties about numbers. If I do fall asleep though, I'm only woken up several times during the night. I don't know what else to say, except I'm tired... 1-25-2017 Woke up today at 4 am. Worst pain ever. I was shaking so much, it was more like trembling, the most intense beyond imagination pain and nausea in my stomach, hot flashes to the point of sweating, heart beats faster than if I had run nonstop for an hour, couldn't breathe, faint and weak (I thought I was gonna collapse)... All signs that I'm winning. Ate too much today though... Five hundred calories... Sadness. Gonna make myself burn 1,000 calories tomorrow and the next day. 1-27-2017 Keep on feeling dizzy and struggling to keep myself standing, but I never collapse/faint. I can hardly focus anymore. Heart is not well. I hope it doesn't give up. I can't stop. Everyday gets worse. Not sure how to stop. And stupid bitch keeps being controlling, rude, and disrespectful. I want to punch her in the throat. I hate her. And I wish that stupid ass dudes who I hardly even know would stop hitting on me and trying to flirt with me. It's annoying af, especially when they touch me period. I'm fucking done. Good fucking bye. -Later- Need to start working on legs tomorrow and all week so that I can get a thigh gap and so the outsides near the hips aren't so round. I just hope that through that, I don't gain muscle weight. Decided to go strictly vegan and gluten free until next Saturday... Just so weight loss is even more rapid. I need to lose sugar too, but with the exception of honey which is less calories for my rice cakes. I'll set up a plan in both of my intake and exercise log in books so I don't forget. Maybe will write reminders on my hand too. Purging early through lax as soon as possible when schedule allows. Just realizing right now, my hands have gotten tiny! Yay. :) they look dry though, but tiny, perfect. 1-28-2017 This morning I looked at my stomach and hip bones. My stomach was really flat and my hip bones were really sticking out. Perfection. I hate myself for eating. I want to die. Officially going to go strictly vegan and gluten free for a week or fucking forever and see how much I lose. Going to exercise more and lax officially tomorrow. Strictly 200 calories a day or less than that's . No more than that. I am scared to step on the scale tomorrow. I hate myself so much. Maybe if I did things right... Perfect. Maybe I'd actually like myself and want to live and people would like me. Wtf was I thinking when I told the 3 people that I told, that I have an eating problem?? I don't. I'm to fat to have an eating problem. I'm fucking crazy I guess. I want to cry. I'm alone. I'm such a disappointment. So disgusting. Can't even fucking please myself. Every time I even make one mistake, no one wants to talk to me I want to die. 1-30-2017 My weight dropped over 2 pounds in one day which was really good. Today I was 119.4. Hoping for less tomorrow. Want to make it to 115 or lower by the end of the week. Yesterday was a complete success in fasting. Today I only had 1 apple sauce, I half Apple, 2 slice of an orange, and a small bite of a cake today. I'm pretty sure that is under 100 calories so I'm very happy. Not sure how restrictions are going to be tomorrow. Depending on tomorrow's weight, I want to employ the apple rule, where you cut an apple into 8 slices and eat 2 at every mealtime and 2 for a snack. This will trick my body into thinking that I eat regularly, thus suppressing hunger. Other than that, there is always salted ice and peppermint tea, which also suppresses hunger. Maybe I could put a tiny bit of honey or cinnamon on the apple for flavor. If I can do that tomorrow, that's only 50 calories. I originally planned on 2 rice cakes and an apple sauce for tomorrow, but I think that I can restrict 1 more day. Just until I get to the 116-117 range. Then a rice cake or 2 with 30 calories of honey would be ok, but it's not now. Complete fasting is absolutely euphoric. There are no words to explain the happiness it is to accomplish an entire day of absolutely no eating. I've come close many times, but I think I will continue more. It is extremely easy now. 1-31-2017 Today I weighed 116.8 pounds which is good progress. In one on this time, I have lost almost 18 pounds. I can't wait until I'm 100-105 pounds. That will be pretty easy in consideration that restricting is getting easier now. It's 11:30 AM and I have only eaten 4 slices of an apple with a tiny bit of honey and 4 small bites of Tzatziki chicken. I wish I could scream. When people notice, they try to figure me out. Nothing is wrong with me. It's just that sometimes I don't eat... I'm fine. I swear, I've never been better. They tell me that I need to eat. They tell me that I can't just go without eating. Then they continue to tell me what to eat. Sometimes, they try and educate me on the health risks, but my fear of my health is only replaced after a few seconds or minutes by what tomorrow is going to look like. They don't understand. I have gone so many days without eating almost anything at all. And I feel fine. I love it. My mind is at peace when I do everything right, perfect. I don't need food. I don't understand or recognize food or hunger anymore. I don't understand how someone could eat 3 meals a day... It just confuses me. That's a ton of food. I was working in the dining hall/cafeteria today. The staff cook who is the boss wanted me to come up with a sauce to go with shredded chicken to go in a wrap. I had a hard time figuring one out. I've trained my mind to not even think about food. Then as I was prepping the wraps that were for students, the cook staffs were trying to figure out what to make for the next meal. They were even trying to figure out meals for the weekend. This confused me. I didn't understand how they could be so obsessed with food. And even before I even went up to the dining hall, my instructor told me to grab some food, a banana in particular when I got up there. She had told me that I need to eat yesterday. I understand that she wants me to eat, maybe she's worried, but I can't "just eat." I just can't. And I wish people would stop saying that to me because it's like I can't just reply "I can't." Then they'd ask me a lot of uncomfortable questions and then I'd have to feed them a bunch of bullshit lies which would make me feel bad. They wouldn't understand even if I told the truth. They'd look at me like I'm damaged. Then they'd worry and I don't want anyone to worry about me. 2-2-2017 Yesterday I got medically separated from school for an eating disorder. I don't know what to do with myself. Mom took me straight to the ER in the hospital. I am an in-patient now. I'm in one of the highest levels of the building. The room is alright. Actually pretty nice and clean. Not sure if I'm in a specific ward for ED. I don't know the number today. I don't know. Ana is angry. With me. I got close, but my whale self failed. How am I Anorexic and still my CNA and nurses are tinier than me?? The nurse is bringing up food and drinks for me to have. She sits there until I'm done. She made me have orange juice this morning. Estimated 120 calories. Too much. Whale self.

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