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sister-lucifer · 1 year

Note

can we get gross pervy dom toby content 🙏

Some Gross Pervy Dom Toby Content

Toby Rogers x Gender Neutral Reader

Genre: NSFW

Summary: There is really no plot to be summarized, Toby’s just a horndog and he chased you down. good fuckin luck

Content/Warnings: Dubcon/Noncon elements, implied stalking, horror elements, Toby being creepy, Toby smells you and touches you in the weirdest manner you can possibly imagine, NSFW with minimal (mostly implied) plot, no real sex happens just fucked up shit, no seriously this is nasty as fuck i’m getting put on a list for this

Like my writing? I take requests! NSFW or SFW for any fandoms in my bio (request rules + masterlist in pinned post)!

Also, please reblog! it’s free, takes two seconds, and really helps me out

Feedback is encouraged and appreciated:)

Not fully proofread! Let me know if you see any errors!

A/N: Just to avoid confusion, in my headcanon Toby has a stutter as well as but separate from his tourette’s; i’m writing his stutter, not his tics! thankies!

also READ THE FUCKING WARNINGS THIS ONE IS NASTY

Staring down the barrel of a loaded gun would fill you with less dread than staring up at the lanky boy who’s currently towering over you.

You don’t have to look at him to know there’s a twisted smile filled with crooked, chipped teeth spread across his face, hazel eyes scrunched at the corners as he grins like a madman. You don’t want to look at him, really, but you can’t stop yourself before you’re slowly craning your neck to see. Slowly his face comes into view, and it’s even more unsettling than you could prepare for.

His messy brown hair flicks up in all directions and partly obscures his eyes, and yet they seem to glow in the dim light of the sunset. One of his arms is above you, folded against the wall, while the other cages you into the corner. Besides his fingers drumming restlessly, he’s not moving, but his entire body is trembling with….excitement? His chest is heaving like he’s struggling to breathe, and the uncomfortable feeling of his warm exhale fanning over your face makes you shudder, and…oh god, is he drooling over you? Shit—

You press yourself hard against the wall, face burning hot against the cool air of the drafty abandoned building. Something tells you you shouldn’t take your eyes off of him for too long, but in your peripheral vision you can see through the broken windows. There’s nothing but trees in all directions, and the sky is rapidly darkening with each passing second. You’re watching any chance you had of escaping in the daylight slip from your fingers. Everything is becoming much too disorienting much too fast, thoughts racing and overlapping and screaming at you to do something, but you can’t. All at once you’re trying to figure out an escape plan, how to appease your captor for long enough to execute an escape plan, and how you even got here in the first place.

The last thing you remember is running from him, the branches of the thicket grabbing at your pants and arms as if trying to hold you back. You had no choice but to run into the old hospital, but now you’re wishing you’d simply kept going.

You must’ve moved too much for Toby’s liking, because he suddenly grabs onto your arm with a grip that feels strong enough to snap the bone in two. You yelp in pain, a second gloved hand quickly clamping over your mouth. The echo of your cry rings loud in your ears, and for a moment you wonder if it’ll ever go quiet again.

“You…you…” Toby stutters, and your eyes widen at the sound of his voice. You aren’t sure what you were expecting to hear, but he just sounds so…normal, like any other nineteen year old boy, except if it were anyone else in any other scenario a mere couple of syllables wouldn’t strike such fear into you.

“You ran a loooong t-time…” He scolds, but his grin doesn’t falter. He brings his hand away from your mouth to shake a finger at you, seemingly trusting you not to scream.

Not like it would matter. You made him chase you pretty far in.

In an instant his hands are on your waist, slipping under your shirt and eagerly grabbing at the soft flesh he finds beneath. You have to bite your tongue to hold back another yelp.

“Oh, ooohh but it w-was worth it!” Toby slurs with a drawl, “I’ve f-finally fooouund yooouu, aha…”

He sounds so proud of himself. Something about his tone is almost childish, deceivingly so. He truly thinks he’s done something amazing.

Your heart skips a beat when he suddenly freezes, face going void of all emotion, and you wonder if you’ve truly angered him. If you did, would that be the mistake that ended it all?

Fortunately, it seems he was just changing gears. You panic when you realize he’s leaning in towards you, but he moves past your face to practically bury his nose in your neck, taking a long and deep breath. He lets out a faint laugh as he breathes out, and it feels like a horrible sensation crawling down your spine. The only thing you can do is grab onto his arms, nails digging into the dirty and worn fabric of his hoodie. It’s practically caked with dried mud in some areas and you can feel the dry cracking beneath your hands.

“I m-missed your…your s-smell…” Toby whispers. You’re confused for a moment, and it takes a few seconds for it all to set in.

‘Missed?’

He’d…smelled you before?

He ‘missed’ you…

“I-I should have…should have visited m-more…I-I got ssso busy, b-but I didn’t forget you, I-I promise…”

He keeps talking, but it starts to fade out. Only a few words matter, anyways.

There’s an incredibly brief moment of clarity that flashes through your mind, a split second flicker of understanding that you hadn’t just been misplacing or losing things, that you weren’t imagining all those noises or shadows that you told yourself were childish things to be afraid of, and it nearly floods your brain before it disappears as quickly as it appeared. Maybe you purposefully pushed it out, at least for now. There was too much going on to process the past. If you were lucky enough to get out of this alive, you could reflect then.

You’re frozen for a few moments as Toby’s idle hands begin to wander, as they always do. He’s at least considerate enough to feel you up through your clothes, but that doesn’t stop you from sucking in a harsh breath through your teeth when he roughly gropes your ass. It forces you to push yourself into him as you try to get away from the aggressive grip. You can feel him laugh with his chest pressed flush against yours.

He takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around you, and it’s become painfully obvious that he’s much stronger than he looks. You’d never expect someone so skinny to be able to manhandle you like this.

He sways slowly from side to side as he holds you, one unsteady hand toying with your hair in a gesture that, on Toby’s end, seems as though it is meant to be sincere.

“Th-There’s so much I want t-to do to y— to do with y-you…so little time…” He goes on muttering to himself over something or other, but you can’t understand him as he trails off.

He seems preoccupied with his own thoughts, distracted enough that you begin to squirm. He doesn’t react, continuing to quietly rant about nothing while stroking your head. You struggle again, a bit bolder this time. Nothing.

Maybe you actually had a chance, you just had to slip away. Hell, maybe you’d get lucky and run the right way on the first try; for all you know you’re only a mile away from a highway, that could be your lifeline. You just had to slip away—

“Stop it! Stop doing that!”

…Easier said than done, it seems.

Hearing Toby yell, seemingly allowing a genuine flash of anger to overtake him as he slams you back against the wall, chills you to the core. He was unpredictable, bouncing back and forth between the extremes of whatever emotion he was feeling, making it impossible to plan around his potential actions.

His hand splays out across your chest to keep you pinned to the wall. He’s applying much more pressure than he needs to, and he knows it. His smile twitches as you struggle to recover from having the wind knocked out of you.

When he reaches back for his pocket, you expect him to pull out a weapon; maybe a knife, or even a small handgun you somehow hadn’t noticed.

But no. He returns with something much smaller, and your brows furrow in confusion as you struggle to make out the shape among the shadows that have quickly taken over your space.

“What’s t-the matter?” Toby asks, “Never seen a-a condom before?”

He snickers cruelly at the way your mouth hangs open in reply.

“Whaaaat? I-I’m trying to be nice…don’t be a bitch.”

“N…Nice?!” You choke out in reply, and this time Toby’s jaw drops.

“Oh, it does speak!” He exclaims with genuine excitement. “Good, good…s-so good…”

He holds the corner of the wrapper in his mouth so that his hand can be free to fumble with his belt. The sound of the buckle clanking as he slips it off makes your stomach flip. Your gaze flicks quickly back and forth from his pants back to his eyes, and he hasn’t stopped staring at you. You haven’t even seen him blink.

His tongue runs over his glistening teeth as he prepares to speak again:

“I h-hope you squeal for me, pretty thing…When we’re done here, I’m t-takin’ you with me…”

#creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta smut #creepypasta headcanon #gender neutral reader #tw dubcon #tw noncon #ticci toby x reader #ticci toby smut #ticci toby #toby rogers

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donutloverxo · 4 years

Text

Tainted

*gifs not mine*

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

Note - this is inspired by a hc @sweater-daddiesdumbdork once wrote me and gave me a frigging murder kink. Life ruiner😡😡

Dividers by @whimsicalrogers

Summary - Steve saves you and plans on never letting you go again.

Warnings - 18+ only, smut(m/f), kidnappings, being held hostage, murder, blood, non descriptive violence, captain kink, slight murder kink.

Pairing - Steve Rogers x reader

Word count - 6.8k

Masterlist is linked in the bio!

One of the most amazing thing about living with you was that Steve never had to come home to an empty house. He was now responsible for you, he’d have to shoot you a text message, he had gotten pretty good at texting, thanks to your guidance, or call you, he definitely liked calling and hearing your voice better. He’ll always be old school.

You’d get that slight waver in your voice as you tried to pretend that you weren’t sad, he could see your cute little pout through the phone. And while he would never want to cause you any sort of pain, knowing that you’d be waiting for him, that you’re missing him when he’s away, made him feel wanted.

That even someone like him deserved love and happiness and a safe, boring life. That may be there was a reason he died only to wake up again in a strange new world.

That wasn’t to say you didn’t come with your own set of challenges. You were messy if anything, leaving clutter everywhere and putting off doing your dishes and laundry for days. Maybe not the most practical but definitely the cutest roommate in the world.

He’d learn to put up with it because it was worth it. Maybe, he could even learn to 'let loose' a little as people always recommended to him.

At first, he couldn’t wait to ask you to marry him. He had even impulsively bought a ring with your birthstone, he knew you were obsessed with them and astrology and maybe even dark magic. But then you surprised him with a date to an old diner and introduced him as your boyfriend to your friends.

He liked your friends quite a lot, he couldn’t really understand what they were talking about half the time. From what he could tell - by their fascination with his muscles and all the touching and squeezing to his biceps, them wanting to hear about his life before the ice - it seemed that they liked him too.

But hearing you call him that, your guy, your boyfriend, your beau, as your friend Stacey had put it, he decided that he wasn’t quite ready to let go of this blissful courting period. He was rushing things.

He needed to live in the moment and just enjoy being your boyfriend for now, he had all the time in the world to wife you up - preferably not to late though.

He was so unbelievably happy, ecstatic to see you, to surprise you, his mission ending a week early he got home as soon as he could. He thought of maybe taking you to Vermont for the weekend, he had never been but Nat told him it’d be a nice little getaway and that you’d love it.

His wide smile slowly fade away as he looked at the state of his door - the latch broken. Forced entry. Somebody broke his door in. He pushed the door wide open and made his way in.

He knew what was to come next but he willed that thought away. Maybe you kicked it in yourself, maybe you forgot your keys. He kept telling himself that because he was terrified of thinking the alternative.

He stepped in as soon as he was able to shake himself out of his haze. Looking at the state of his, and your, apartment. A broken vase, and the coffee table smashed in.

Crouching down to take a closer look he saw some blood on the ceramic. Whoever did this to your home, better hope that it’s wasn’t yours.

He got up, directing his simmering rage towards his new mission. He didn’t panic, not yet, he couldn’t give himself that kind of luxury. His mind coming up with ten different to find you and make the bastards who did this pay.

NOBody can hurt the people he loves, especially his girl, and get away with it.

***

Your eyes fluttered open before scrunching shut to adjust to the harsh fluorescent light. You blinked, looking around you while squinting.

Some sort of empty grey room... a window to the side but it was dark outside. You dress sticking to your skin as your whole body was covered in a sheen of sweat.

Three men in a corner, one for them shouting at the others in a foreign language.

You felt a yip of pain radiating in your arms and then realised they were tied up behind you - strapped to a creaky chair.

You tried to shake free of them, by wiggling your wrists but then winced at the burn it caused, capturing the attention of your kidnappers.

One of them smiled at you, walking towards you.

“Finally awake, are we?” he asked in an abnormally chirpy way. “You were out for quiet some time. Did you sleep well?”

He squatted before you, you could see his face, his cold grey eyes betraying the warm smile that graced his lips. Many white scars littered over his jaw...

And then you remembered.

How you rushed home when you felt someone was following you. Locking the door, you tried to call Steve but couldn’t get through to him.

And then your stalker broke into your home. You tried to smash his head in with a vase but couldn’t really do any real damage. Everything was hazy after that. Maybe he drugged you - you couldn’t recall.

You exhaled shakily when you realised he was watching you both from the corner. You could never forget his dark hoodie and hair. Or fresh cut on his forehead. You had never so much as hurt a fly or even slapped anyone. How you managed to smash his head in you’ll never know.

You looked at the man before you again when you heard him calling out your name, his smile haltered for a moment as he looked back to your stalker.

“I’m sorry about that, he’s a rookie. He’ll be reprimanded soon enough. This wasn’t exactly our plan but we’ve decided to improvise.”

You tried to speak but with your throat and mouth dry and your mind in shock the words wouldn’t come out.

“Oh, that’s alright, don’t struggle. We don’t want anything to do with you, you’re just a normal plain Jane going about your life, aren’t you?”

You could only give him a weak nod, still trying your best to shake yourself free of your bounds without him noticing.

“That’s right. You haven’t done anything wrong, you don’t deserve to have anything bad happen to you, do you?”

You nodded again. Your breath hitched when he got closer to you, in your face, his hands planted on your bare thighs with your skirt pooled just below your hips.

“But we don’t always get what we deserve. You’re close to the Captain, that’s right Michael’s told me all about how taken he is with you. I mean... I never would’ve imagined Captain America would pick someone like you but to each their own,” he cupped your cheek, the cracks in his palm harsh against your soft skin.

“What do you want?” you asked, not looking away from him.

“I want justice. For things to be in the right order. You’ll have to suffer for it, but know that it’s for a good cause.”

“You’re wrong,” you shook your head, “he’ll come for me.”

“We’re counting on that,” he snickered.

You’re not sure what came over you, all you knew was that you wanted his disgusting hands off of you, “He’ll come for me, and then you’ll regret ever touching me.”

“Uh, I don’t know about this,” you pulled on a thread from your skirt with your right hand, your other hand in Steve’s as he held onto your waist, pulling you into his side. “It’ll be inside me?” you shuddered.

“Yes, but,” Bruce scratched his head, he was adorable like that. You never would’ve imagined him to be the hulk, a 'rage monster’. “it’s not as bad as you think. You won’t even feel it. All shield agents and Avengers have one. Except Thor, because that wouldn’t be of any use. The radius is only on earths surface. You would’ve thought that would be enough,” he chuckled.

You pressed your lips in a thin line, looking at the chip, smaller than an acrylic nail, watching Bruce load it up.

“I know it’s not ideal, doll. But I’ll feel much better knowing I can find you, in case something goes wrong.” He kissed your temple, as you braced yourself.

“Will it hurt?” you gulped as Bruce lined the shooter or gun, by the looks of it, to your forearm.

“Just a little. You’ll barely feel it.” He gave you a sympathetic smile.

“Look at me, pup,” Steve gripped your chin, moving your head till you looked into his blue eyes, he pressed his lips to yours, massaging your tongue with his to distract you.

“Mm,” you winced and moaned into his mouth when you felt the piercing pain. It was like getting a flu shot but you had never having been a huge fan of needles either.

He released his hold on you as Bruce worked on cleaning your the blood seeping through your pierced skin. “You did good.” Steve said.

“Do I get a sucker?” You asked Bruce and he chuckled - as if you were joking, you do not joke about candy, “No I really want one.”

“Let’s keep this between us.” Steve told you both.

“Of course,” Bruce nodded, “I can keep tracker dormant till we need it but are you sure?”

“I’m not sure who I can trust.” But he knew he could trust his teammates.

You sniffled, keeping your tears at bay because really something so little shouldn’t make you cry, rubbing your hand over your wounded bicep as Bruce handed you some gummy bears.

“They’re Tony’s. He leaves snacks everywhere, it’s annoying.”

“Thank you.” You blinked up at him and offered some to Steve.

You never thought you’d need it. Until now, you were sure your friends or your mother would notice that you’ve been gone and Steve will find out and track you down. You knew he would. He had to.

He frowned, his nails digging into your cheekbones, pluckering your lips, “Where’s all that confidence coming from?” he quirked a curious brow up, “He’ll walk right in and pay for everything he’s done,” he snorted.

“You’re way underprepared to take someone like him on,” shut up, shut up, shut up, why the fuck are you egging him on? “He’s strong, he’s a survivor.” Even without the serum, he survived an abusive household, being bullied, being sick, and you knew how protective he could be. To the point where it was downright irritating.

“We’ve got all the time in the world to prepare, you should be worrying about yourself,” he spat.

You had always been bold, even in the most inappropriate of situations. Like when you lectured a boy for over an hour on respecting boundaries for throwing spitballs at you, in kindergarten. Steve even said that he fell for that ‘spunk' in you.

‘Well-behaved women rarely make history’ your mother had told you.

And really, you liked that about yourself as well. You liked that you found a man that would encourage that side of you instead of calling you ‘difficult’ or ‘bossy’.

However, you immediately regretted everything you had said. Not because it was untrue, but because your captor took out a sharp pocket knife, a dark glint in his eyes.

“We only need you alive,” he said as you gulped, “I suppose, it wouldn’t matter if you’re missing a finger or two.”

You frantically shook your head, choking on a sob. “No,” you pleaded, “you’ll... he will find me and you will - ”

“Go to prison at best. It’s a risk we’re all willing to take,” he put the blunt end of the knife against your cheek, “We have to do something to kill the time.”

You couldn’t breath, your heart hammering in your chest, what if he doesn’t come for you? You won’t be able to do anything about it. It wasn’t like you could protect yourself, at least in this situation, all you could do was wait for him.

You shut your eyes, and braced yourself for the pain. Except... it never came, you simply heard someone fall down, some sort of clattering sound.

Upon opening your eyes you saw one of his friends face down before your in the corner, the other guy, your lovely stalker, drawing out his gun, looking at the only window to your left. You swore you a saw a glimpse of a flying disk knocking your stalker out.

The man before you cursed under his breath, “Get. Up. Come on!” he ordered.

“Yeah, if I could do that I probably would’ve,” you snarked, still trying to get your aching wrists free.

You barely even registered - who could only be your Captain - sneaking up behind him, snapping his neck with his hands in a matter of seconds. He collapsed on the ground and you could finally see Steve.

His clenched jaw and cold eyes softened up on seeing you, you couldn’t help but let out a sob as you realised you were going to be free.

“You’re okay, sweetheart, it’s okay,” he soothed you, kissing your forehead before swiftly free your hands.

You stood up on wobbly legs, holding onto his arms for support, “Steve,” you breathed out, “you came for me.”

“Of course I did,” he sighed, gently pushing your face against his chest as he hugged you close to him. “As if I’d ever abandon you,” he smoothed a hand over your back and decided to not dwell on your comment. This wasn’t about him, you were in shock.

“I was so scared,” you sniffled, “he said, he - ” you couldn’t even finish your sentence as you broke down in a fit of sobs and hiccups.

“You’re safe now,” he promised.

“You - did you kill him?” you pushed away from him to look up at his face so you could take him in.

You had never seen him in his uniform. Only ever seeing him on the news but he had his cowl on and a suit that was much more on brand for ‘Captain America’ than the darker one he had on now. It made him look bigger - if that was even possible. Bigger than the shield now strapped to his back.

His usually clean shaven face had the faintest shadow to it while his hair was slicked back. He looked beautiful, so soft and innocent, definitely not someone who’s capable of hurting anyone.

“He hurt you,” he replied, bringing your hand up to his lips and kissing your bruised wrists, “and so many others, he got what was coming to him.”

“You knew him?”

“Yes. He got away the last time we tried to catch him - but we don’t have to talk about that right now. Are you hurt anywhere else?”

You shook your head, “No, I’m just thirsty and I really want to lay down,” you murmured, resting your head on the star in the middle of his chest.

He pressed a hand to his ear, letting his team know that he had found you. You vaguely saw agents clad in black gear storm the room.

“We did a sweep of the place. No one else is here,” Natasha said. “How you doing?” and then frowned when you didn’t respond.

“She’s tired. It’s okay, love,” he kissed your temple, snaking a hand under your knees and picking you up with ease.

You weakly nodded, wrapping your hands around his neck, glad to be babied by him because you didn’t have the strength to stand.

“They didn’t give you anything to eat?” Nat scoffed as you shook your head.

“How long have I been here?” you looked at Steve, struggling to stay awake.

“A day and a half. We’ll get you fixed up,” he swore, carrying you towards the quinget.

“Where are we?” you nuzzled your nose against the rough kevlar of his suit.

“Bermuda,” he said.

“Oo, I’ve always wanted to come here... just maybe not like this,” you chuckled but Steve didn’t find it all that amusing. You cupped his cheek in your palm, hoping to maybe calm him down a bit before falling asleep.

***

You vaguely heard a familiar voice calling out your name, you’d recognise it anywhere, it was one of your favorites, one you’d known your entire life.

“Mom?” you muttered, opening your eyes and looking around the room to look for her. You smiled when you saw her sitting on a chair just beside your bed, the faint, annoying beeping told you that you were probably in a hospital.

“Hey there, honey,” she smiled back at you, her eyes misty as she pressed her lips to your cheek. “Do you have any idea how much you scared me?”

“I’m sorry,” you tried to sit up as she fluffed your pillow up to support you. “I was... um... kidnapped.” Saying it out loud made it feel so ridiculous. Never in your wildest dreams would you have thought.

“Yes, Steve filled us in on everything. So, Captain America, huh?” she raised her brows.

“Yeah,” you chuckled nervously. Doing a once over to your large, mostly white room to look for him. He wouldn’t just up and leave you, would he?

“How long has it been going on?” she asked.

“Um, three or four months?” you winced when you realised just how much trouble you were in.

“And, you live with him. Linda filled us in on everything. You’re quitting your job too now.”

“It’s - it’s not as bad as it sounds...”

“Never mind that, you need to rest. Then you won’t have to worry about all this. I’m taking you home with me. And you’re never coming back here again.”

“What? No! I still have over two years of school left.”

“You can do it online! You can find just as a good a job in Queens.”

“No! I’m not coming,” you whined.

“Well, you’re not living with a man you barely know either.”

You were interrupted by a knock on the door. A doctor entering, apologising for disturbing you and Steve right behind her. He still hadn’t changed out of his suit.

He stood at the end of your bed, squeezing your foot to let you know he was there for you as your mother glared daggers at him.

“Looks like you’re doing good. Blood sugars back to normal as well...” the doctor said, “You’re free to go home.”

“Really?” you smiled. So done with everything. Sleeping in your own bed sounded like heaven.

“Yes, let us know if you need anything.” She looked over your chart again and then left.

“Good then, you can come home now.”

“No! I’m going to my apartment in Manhattan, the one I share with Steve.” You rolled your eyes. Pleading Steve to back you up with your eyes.

He cleared his throat, “Um, ma'am, you can come stay with us, if you like.”

He held your mothers gaze, to let her know that he was serious and earnest.

He knew he wasn’t perfect by any means. He had a million flaws and cuts that ran deeper than anybody would ever know but he always thought, or maybe arrogantly assumed, that if nothing else he was someone ‘you take home to mama’ as Clint had once put it. He thought that your parents, like most, would like him. That he’d easily get their blessing to be with their daughter. He was known to be America’s golden boy after all.

But your mother had ripped him a new one as soon as she saw him. Accusing him of abusing his power to woo you. That you were here because of him. That he’s not worthy of you.

And all he could do was stand there and take it because everything she had said was the truth. He didn’t deserve you, you were captured and possibly traumatised because of him.

At the same time, he couldn’t just let you go. Not till he gets to the bottom of who had hurt you and makes sure that you’re safe from now on.

“No, thank you.” She scoffed, looking back at you and shaking her head. “What are you doing with your life?”

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes but being with Steve definitely isn’t one,” you looked over to him, he looked just as tired as you, “I just want to go home. My home with Steve.”

“Fine, I’ve always let you make your own decisions.” she sighed, finally giving in.

“And I’ve never disappointed you.”

“That’s debatable,” she snorted, “I’ll come check on you tomorrow then. Maybe send me your address. You know? Something you should’ve done months ago.” She returned to glaring at Steve.

“I’ve only been living with him for a month!” you tried to defend yourself.

***

“I can take off my own clothes, Stevie,” you giggled, him kneeling before you to help you out of the sweets the med bay gave you. Your dress was dirty and ragged now. “I really liked that dress though. I don’t have many like it. You think we can get it back?”

“Maybe, I’ll see what I can do, doll,” he kissed your bare thigh before rolling your panties down your legs.

“You’re kinda dirty too,” you remarked, sniffing him. He didn’t smell bad, as if Steve would ever smell bad to you. Just a bit of gunpowder, like that of firecrackers, a bit pungent instead of his normal piney and woodsy scent.

“Thank you,” he deadpanned before cracking a smile, “I was just excited to see you. Or I would’ve showered before coming home and then I didn’t get a chance to.”

He worked on unbuttoning your shirt He insisted on you getting a button up instead of a t-shirt considering how sore your arms were from being toed up for so long. Tied up... like an animal.

“Hey,” you whispered softly, caressing his cheek, “come back to me.”

“Sorry, I’m just... I don’t know,” he shook his head. He couldn’t let you know the guilt and despair he felt, you’d end up comforting him instead of the other way around. “It’s just been a long day.”

“Yeah. Still can’t believe any of this was real.” Running your hands up and down his suit, the feel of the material almost soothing to touch. “You wanna shower with me?”

“Don’t know, doll. That showers pretty small.”

He did have a pretty generous salary but opted to live in a more modest apartment, he never took more than he needed anyway, with a small shower. Not too small, but definitely not big enough for you both.

“We’ll make do, come on. I’ll make you squeaky clean.”

He took over ten minutes to get rid of the suit. You watched intently as he removed more latches than you could count.

“Is it bulletproof?” you wanted to know.

“Yes. But probably not as good as a vest. I’ve never been shot so I wouldn’t know.” He answered, taking off his undershirt.

“It’s funny because I always thought y’all were naked under there,” you chuckled, and then your jaw dropped as he took off his briefs.

You had never seen his cock while it was soft before. He was always more than excited when you got to him. It was amazing how pretty he looked either way.

“You and so many other people,” he almost shuddered at the thought of having been asked the same question so many times.

After making sure the water was hot enough, you both stood under it.

You took some of the lavender wash you had bought from lush, squeezing it on your sponge. Steve, bless him, was amazing at so many things. Shopping - it seemed was not one of them. All he had in his bathroom was a bar of soap, one toothbrush and a vintage straight razor.

Which just won’t do for you, so you took it upon yourself to stock the whole place up with your favorite stuff. The lavender being Steve’s favorite, you remembered how flustered you got when he told you that you smelled good. And then tried to explain that you always smell good while turning redder than a tomato.

You did his front, asking him to bent his neck a bit so you could wash his hair because he was almost a foot taller than you. You were about to do his legs, you’d take any excuse to feel up his thick thighs but he told you he’d do the rest himself.

Taking the sponge from you, he ran it under some water, working on cleaning you thoroughly. Under your arms, your breasts, your stomach, between your legs and then your legs.

You were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen - he knew that since the moment he had met you. But something about washing you up like that felt so intimate even though there was nothing erotic about it.

After washing you thoroughly he wrapped you up in a towel, “My cute lil' burrito,” he booped your nose.

You puffed your cheeks out, you weren’t sure if you liked that nickname. Observing just how gentle he was with you, helping you into a cotton nightie, as opposed to drying himself off hastily and carelessly before pulling some sweats and briefs on.

“Don’t wear a shirt,” you pleaded, he looked amazing shirtless, but that wasn’t the only reason, you really liked feeling his skin on hours, pressing kissing on his perfect, smooth, golden skin, ”pretty please.” Right now, he’d give you anything you wanted and you intended on milking that as much as you can.

“Alright, doll,” he replied, pulling you up in his arms again as if you were his bride, as you giggled so sweetly, “now, what would you like to eat? No take out, it has to be healthy. And remember my culinary skills are limited,” he said, carrying you to the living room and putting you on the couch as he started working in the kitchen.

“Stevie, I’m not hungry. Well, that’s not true, I’d like some ice cream,” fluttering your lashes at him, “Mint chocolate chip? I’m pretty sure we have some.”

“Of course, puppy,” you smiled, at the prospect of getting a sweet treat and the nickname, “as soon as you eat something.” He added and you huffed in annoyance.

He whipped up a sandwich for you, two for him because he was starving, some peach iced tea so you wouldn’t eat his ear off while complaining.

You only picked at your food, giving more than half of it to him. You truly didn’t feel like eating, instead craving some cuddles with him.

You tried striking up a conversation with him multiple times. Not because you didn’t like silence. You did when it came to him, you could go hours without talking and it would feel so serene and perfect. You never had to talk just for the sake of it when you were with him.

But you had come to read Steve pretty well. He seemed distant and closed off. The air around you both thick with tension. You tried to ease it while telling him about how brave you were while quitting and didn’t cry at all, how Tony dropped by and was apparently stalking you - which was a bad idea because it seemed to make him angry, clench his jaw tight, his brows furrowed as he placed your plates in the sink.

Unsure if you had done something wrong or were mean to Tony, who was technically his boss, you twiddled with your fingers, “Um... I - I’m sorry,” you stuttered, trying to hold back tears. Spending the night at your mom’s house sounded like the better choice now.

“Hm?” he looked back at you, he could do the dishes tomorrow, “what for?”

“I shouldn’t have been snarky with Tony. I know he’s your boss and all that but he’s kinda cocky... And I got really mad when I found out he did like a ‘background check' on me. I mean I get why he would but still. I can apologize to him.”

“No no,” he shook his head, kneeling before you, taking your hands in his, “you misunderstood, love. I’m not mad at you, I could never REALLY be mad at you. It’s Tony I’m angry with, he went behind my back, ambushed you at work.”

“To be fair, you did the same when you asked me out,” you snickered as a blush crept up his neck.

“Right.” He finally cracked a genuine smile placing feather light kisses on your knuckles and the to the bandages on your hands.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” you asked, running your hands through his hair, scratching his scalp lightly with your nails.

“It’s probably better if we don’t talk about it,” he said, laying his head on your lap. Your slight scratching massaging his never-resting head.

“I think we should. My mom said I don’t know you. And to some extent, she is right. I don’t. Maybe I’m just imagining things but... sometimes it feels like you’re holding back.”

He gathered enough courage to look up at you, your almond shaped eyes looking down at his and he knew that he could talk to you about anything. He did. But there will always be that little voice that tells him that he shouldn’t. He would only trouble you.

“Don’t you pride yourself on being honest?” you caressed his scratchy cheek.

He snorted. He really was dense enough to think he was the perfect son-in-law package.

“I just, the way you looked at me, when I killed that man, I’m afraid that you’re scared of me now. That’s the last thing I want. It’s my worst nightmare really.” He leant into your touch.

“Steve, that wasn’t because I’m scare of you. It was because I’m fond of you. You were so strong and brave and you saved me. I liked being the damsel in distress more than I thought,” He chuckled at that, his doubts a bit relieved, “that’s... not all though.” You murmured.

“What is it?” he wanted to know.

“You, um, the fact that you would do that for me... it’s just. I never thought anyone would love me that much.”

“I only regret doing it in front of you. I’m sorry you had to see that or go through any of that.”

“I’m not a child, Steve,” you rolled your eyes.

“Of course not, but you’re you. You’re pure and an angel. I - I’m tainted - tainted by blood, tainted by war - ”

“Steve, that’s not true. You’re not, you’re the pure-est person I know. War and - that doesn’t define you.”

“You wouldn’t feel that way if you knew about all the things I have done, sweetheart.” The sweet nickname he had for you, which now he used in a patronising tone, “I let my best friend die. And I couldn’t do anything about it.”

“What’re you talking about?” you frowned. You heard about Bucky from him and your history textbooks but you don’t remember reading anything like that.

“It’s... something I’m not ready to get into.” He put his forehead on your knee. He knew you loved him but there was only so much baggage you would be willing to accept.

“Okay. You can take your time and tell me if and when you’re ready, baby.” You went back to idly playing with his, “But I need you to know that I love you. Nothing you could ever say will change that. To think that... for a second I thought that you wouldn’t come for me.”

He snapped his head back up, “What?”

“I thought, that you’d be busy with your mission. You wouldn’t even find out I was missing or... you just wouldn’t care enough to come yourself. I mean, I knew you would come, obviously. But you have other more important work...”

“No,” he shook his head, “How could you ever think anything's more important to me than you and your life?”

“Yeah, I was being stupid.”

“You can be a bit silly sometimes, doll.” He nuzzled your tummy, making you giggle. “I’m never letting you out of my sight again. I was so scared I’d never see you again,” he confessed against your nightgown.

“That’d be a bit hard to do. Keeping an eye on me like that. But if it means I get to spend more time with you then I’m down.”

You convinced Steve to let you have some ice cream. He only let you have half a scope, telling you that you’d have trouble sleeping otherwise.

“I’ve been sleeping for most of the last two days.” You tried to argue but it was hard to change his mind once he had it set on something.

You both brushed your teeth together and he stared at you as you went about your night-time skincare routine.

Cleanse, serum, moisturize, sleep mask.

All he did was wash his face and he still looked fucking perfect.

He stayed true to his word, sticking by your side to the point where you had to kick him outside to have some privacy to pee in peace. He was right there waiting for you when you opened the door.

Finally, you were in your cosy bed. Light’s off and cuddled tight with your boyfriend. Your stuffed unicorn and your Captain America plushie to your other side.

With your legs tangled together, you rubbed your feet up and down his legs. Which were unfortunately covered with his sweats.

“Steve,” you whined.

“Yes?”

“Take off these damn pants. They’re hurting my skin. So friggin' prickly.”

“Sorry, doll. I know how precious your skin is.” He sounded like he was mocking you but he followed, pushing his pants away.

“Good?” he asked holding you close to him again.

“Mm-hm,” you hummed against his naked chest. “Let’s sleep like this everyday, please.”

“Sure.” He replied. He liked being a ‘human furnace' for you.

He wasn’t going to fall asleep. Not after everything that happened. He hadn’t slept well in the past week but he was afraid that if he’d shut his eyes for a single moment and you’d be gone. This time, he wouldn’t be lucky enough to find you.

He hadn’t been to crunch or even prayed in a while. Losing his faith a long time ago after all the terrible things he had seen. But he had prayed when he came back found his home to be wreck. He prayed that you’d come back to him because there were some things he just could not control. Nobody could.

After a while he lowly whispered your name. “Are you awake?” he asked.

It was silly but he missed you. Even though you were laying right next to him in his arms - the safest place you could be.

“Yeah. I can’t sleep. Even though I’m so tired.” You yawned. “You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“You sure?” You snorted. “You’re not a good liar, Steven.”

“Can I ask you something? And you can say no if you want I won’t mind.”

“Sure, shoot.”

“Can I, um, have you? I just need to feel you, sweetheart. After everything – I need to know you’re really here.” he was cut off by your lips crashing on his.

You winced when your teeth clamped together but he soothed your upper lip by nipping at it with his tongue.

“Steve,” you panted as he broke awake, shifting under the sheets and pushing the helm of your gown up.

He placed quick open mouthed kisses all over your thighs, over your stretch marks, spreading your thighs further to accommodate his broad shoulders, he made sure to check in with you again.

All you did was push his head towards your heat, begging him to eat your pussy - as if he needed to be told twice.

Swirling and spreading your glistening juices of arousal around your weeping lips, he dove in for his prize. Drawing patterns on your bundle of nerves before sucking at it harshly, he plunged his tongue inside. Lacing his fingers with yours and pinning your hands down by your hips.

You kept desperately pushing your hips up, wanting more. Arching your back up and holding onto his hands tightly as he lightly grazed his teeth over your clit.

“Say my name, sweetheart,” he demanded against your heat, the vibrations sending jolts of pleasure up your spine.

Your orgasm washing over you in waves, electrifying every nerve in your body as you clamped your legs around his head, holding onto him.

He kept lapping you up through it, taking everything you’d give him.

He loved worshipping you - spending as much time as he could between your legs - because you were his goddess but right now, he just needed to feel you.

He climbed up the bed, hovering over you, he pushed two thick fingers inside you mouth till the second knuckle.

“Get them nice and wet, doll.” He instructed.

You moaned around him, making loud suckling noises, “Yesh, Captain,” it came out muffled, what with your mouth full.

“Captain?” he smirked. You had only ever called him that as a joke, he never knew being called that in a salacious way could stroke a fire inside him. Making him them painfully hard in the confines of his tight briefs. He pulled his fingers out of you, pushing his hand down till it was between your legs. Nudging your entrance with them.

“Sorry, it slipped out.” You were too unabashed to feel guilty.

He scoffed, “Say it again.”

Pushing his fingers inside you. Pumping them at a fast pace before you even had a second to think. It was desperate and fast so unlike how it is usually between you both. He needed to be inside you but your needs would always come before his.

“Captain,” you mewled, chewing on your lower lip and holding onto his face. You couldn’t see him clearly in the dark but you still need to look at him. “I told them my Captain would come for me. And you did...” he swallowed your screams with his mouth as you clenched around his fingers.

“That’s right,” he groaned, sucking your slick off of his fingers, “I’ll always protect you. I’ll do anything for you.”

Shaky fingers working on taking his cock out of the hard confines of his uncomfortable underwear. He didn’t waste a single second before sinking inside you, as deep as he could. He moaned into your neck, “So fucking tight, doll. Like you were made for me,” he bit your neck.

Drawing his hips back he thrusted inside you, brushing against your g-spot, making you keen.

He stopped immediately, propping himself up on his elbows he looked down at your hooded eyes. “You alright, sweetheart?”

You nodded, “Yes, it’s just so good,” as if to prove it you clenched around his length, to make him feel all of you just as he was doing to you.

He groaned at that, his balls already tightening, aching for release, “What’s the safe word?”

“Mm... buttercream.”

“That’s right, good girl,” he cooed as you whimpered at his praise as he withdrew his hips again, loving you in a slow soft way.

Pushing your gown up till it was above your breasts - he didn’t really have the patience to properly take it off. He sucked a spot just above your breast, so you’d remember his love every time you looked at it. Your nipples pebbled and goose bumps painted your skin, with your cunt tight around him he knew you were close.

Wrapping his mouth around one bud, He pulled and pinched at the other. He stopped his ministrations, he needed to look at you as you climaxed. To know that you needed him at least half as much as he needed you.

Your face scrunched up as you met your bliss, your nails drawing blood from shoulders - not that he cared in the slightest.

His hips retracting and thrusting as he lost all sense of rhythm and finesse chasing his end as you laid boneless beneath him. He kept fucking into you, filling you to the brim.

He heaved above you, making sure not to collapse on top of you. Reluctantly he pulled himself out of you.

Pulling you close to him, his lips pressed up against the crown of your head, he whispered sweet nothings to you. “My brave girl.” He kissed the tip of your nose. “You’re so strong, sweetheart.”

“Stronger than the hulk?”

“Yes, definitely,” he replied, tracing the bandages wrapped around your wrists. “Now try to get some sleep.”

“Oh, I’ll sleep alright. Thanks to you.” You giggled.

***

tags will be in the reblog.

this was my longest fic!i know it wasnt the best conclusion to something i drew outover 4 chapters but its the best i could do. sorry for weird format tumblrs mad i had too much fun lol. comments and reblogs are really appreciated!!

#the donut series #steve rogers x reader #chris evans x reader #steve x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers x you #marvel x reader #avengers x reader #berry writes

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sidehowriting · 5 years

Text

Love Isn’t Always Enough

Masterlist in bio! (It is not up to date, 2 stories are not on there but I just reblogged them so they shouldn’t be too far down. I’ll update my masterlist soon!)

A/N: So I basically wrote this right after I saw Endgame because I love pain and angst apparently. Its for @barnesrogersvstheworld 4k Challenge Challenge!

Prompt: We should get back inside

Pairings: Thor x Reader

Summary: You see Thor for the first time in years

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: ENDGAME SPOILERS, swears, alcohol consumption, Thor wearing finger less gloves (I hate them)

Italics are flashbacks

“C’mon, Nyx.” You gave the leash a little tug, pulling your dog along. The little black corgidor wanted to stop and smell every single flower, but with the impending storm you wanted to get back inside. “C’mon, you silly pup.” She finally complied with your request and started following you again.

You kept up a brisk pace back to your place, little dog at your heels. As you rounded the corner you saw someone standing in the middle of the sidewalk. He looked out of place. Long, raggedy hair, sunglasses despite the sun not being out, hands covered in fingerless gloves. Tacky. His face seemed to brighten up as you approached, and you could recognize the smile anywhere.

“Thor?” You slowly walked up to him. “Thor?”

“Hello! Yes!” He waved awkwardly at you. “Yes! Y/N! It’s me, Thor.”

“What?” Little Nyx was interested in Thor. She pulled at her leash, trying to get closer. “What are you doing here?” You held on firmly to keep the pup closer.

“Well,” he started picking at his gloves. “It has been awhile.”

“Almost five years.” You didn’t miss a beat.

“Yes, almost five years.” Even though you couldn’t see his eyes, you knew he wasn’t looking directly at you. He kept his head down, staring at his fingers. “I thought… maybe… I could come and see you.”

“Oh.” You were confused. Why would he show up after so many years of nothing? Just silence.

The rain you were trying to avoid started. Drops of water falling onto you and your dog. You picked the pup up, trying to keep her more covered. If she got too wet, she’d shake and drench you and everything around her. And she would have that wet dog smell. “We should get back inside.” You quickened your pace to your house, calling over your shoulder, “You’re welcomed to come in with us.”

He followed without question, closing the door once you were inside. You unhooked Nyx, setting her down. She gave a little shake, sniffed Thor’s feet, then trotted off into the house. Apparently no longer caring about your visitor.

“This weather isn’t your doing, is it?” You hung up the leash and took off your shoes.

His laugh was small and forced. “No, not this time." He looked around your little house, taking it all in. "I didn't think you'd be one to get a dog. You said you were more of a cat person."

"Technically I didn't get her," you said, making your way to the kitchen. “Can I get you something? Water? Coffee?” You gave him a glare before adding, “Beer?”

You didn’t miss the flinch of his body or the grimace on his lips. “No. I’m good. Thank you.”

“That’s a surprise,” you muttered to yourself. You entered the kitchen, grabbing yourself a cup for water. Thor followed, his footsteps heavier than what you remembered.

“I know,” he started as you filled your glass of water, “you have every right to be upset. I don’t blame you.”

“Well that’s a relief,” you snapped. “Glad I’m not to blame for you choosing alcohol over me.”

“I know,” he repeated, taking his sunglasses off. “I had lost people-“

“I did too, Thor!” You were almost yelling now. “I lost people too. It wasn’t just you. And every time I wanted to talk to you about it you shut me out. Every time I tried to help you heal you went straight for the beer.”

You had just finished helping more of the Asgardians move into their new homes. They were small, quaint, very different from the beautiful planet. It was hard to adjust but at the end of the day, everyone was together and had a roof over their heads.

Thor had sworn up and down that he just had a few things to do and he would be right out to help you. That was nearly six hours ago. The day’s work was done, and you had done it all by yourself… again.

Stepping into the small cottage you now called home with the God you groaned. The amount of beer cans on the floor seemed to have doubled since this morning when you left. Seems the King of Asgard spent his day drinking himself stupid.

“Thor!” You called, kicking cans as you went. “Thor!”

“Y/N! There you are!” He stumbled out of the small living room, beer in hand. “I was starting to think you got lost.”

“I’ve been working all day, Thor,” You huffed, kicking cans as you walked.

“I thought you went to the store. We’re almost out of beer.”

You pushed past him, going to the kitchen. After all the moving you were ravished. “You were supposed to join me, you know,” you yelled, looking through the fridge. The majority was taken up by alcohol. But food, actual filling food to have a meal with, was scarce. Closing the fridge in defeat you grabbed an open bag of chips that was on the counter. Perhaps you should have gone to the store.

He followed you in, collapsing into a chair. “Was I? I’m sorry. I must have forgotten.”

“Like you’ve done the past couple month.” You shoved a handful of stale chips into your mouth. “All you do is drink.”

“I’ve done more than that,” he countered, gesturing to you with his beer can.

You shook your head. “No, you haven’t. You haven’t done anything since Thanos-”

“Don’t!” He cut you off, voice rising. “Don’t. I… I killed Thanos. I sliced off his head.”

“I know you’re hurting, Thor. I know. I lost family too. You’re not alone in this.”

He started to laugh but instead of jubilation, it sounded pained. Like that of a broken man. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Y/N. I’m not hurting. I told Thanos he would die and then I killed him.” He tossed his head back, finishing his beer in one gulp. “I’m not hurting.”

“Fine!" You felt yourself snapping. Weeks of pent up frustration and hurt bubbling over. "Then I am! I’m devastated, Thor. I lost my family. My friends. I need you,” you begged, putting the bag of chips back down on the counter. “I need you.”

“You have me,” he said softly. He got up and walked over to you. Cupping your face, he kissed your lips gently. The smell of the alcohol buring your nose and the taste bitter on your tongue. “You have me.” His smile didn’t light up his face or meet his eyes. Reaching around you, he slipped his hand inside the fridge and pulled out another can of beer.

“If I do,” you whispered, hearing the crack of the can opening, “then put the beer down.”

He laughed again, nervous and unsure. “What? Why would I do that?” He pulled away from you, holding the can of alcohol close to him.

Tears were forming in your eyes. You knew how broken Thor was. You could see it. Feel it. Everyone could. And you wanted to help him. You loved him so much you would do whatever you could to fix him. Help him heal.

But you yourself were already broken from the fight. From losing everything to Thanos. And you needed to take care of yourself too. You needed a shoulder to cry on. Needed someone to help you pick up your own pieces.

“I can’t stand here and watch you drink yourself stupid.” You shook your head. “I can’t.”

“I’m not, my darling.” He came at you again, arms open wide. “I love you.”

You wiped away the tears as they fell. “I love you too, Thor.”

He pulled you close, warm body an instant comfort for you. You melted immediately, clinging to him. “You don’t have to cry,” he whispered into your hair. He kissed your forehead like he used to. “Everything is going to be alright.”

“Prove it.” Your voice was barely above a whisper. “Dump the beer out.” You tilted your head up, catching his eyes. The familiar twinkle no longer present. All you saw was sadness and pain. If he wasn’t willing to fix himself, you couldn’t force him.

“Y/N, I… I love you, my queen.”

You kissed his cheek. “I know. But love isn’t enough sometimes. I’m sorry, Thor.”

You didn’t turn back as you walked out, no matter how many times you heard him call out.

“You were right,” he said, sitting down at your kitchen table. “You were right I was hurting, and I couldn’t handle it, so I just drank and ate and tried to forget.”

“Glad you finally realized that.” You sat down across from him.

“It’s taken some time, but after having a good talk with my mother-”

“Your mother?” You distinctly remembered Frigga dying. “Are you sure you’re not drunk?”

“It’s a long story. But I was able to see my mother again and talking to her has really helped me heal and move on.”

“Good. I’m really happy for you, Thor.” You meant it. Over the years you were apart you had this sinking feeling that Thor was spiraling. You didn’t want that for him. He deserved the world. But knowing that he was able to find peace was a comfort for you.

His smile was real this time. One you hadn’t seen in years. “Thank you, Y/N. I’m just sorry it took so long to happen. I know you were hurting too, and I should have been there to help you as I should have let you help me.”

“It’s alright,” you whispered, running your finger along the lip of your glass.

"It's not though. I thought I had lost everyone, but I hadn't. I still had you. Until I fucked it up with all the drinking and avoidance. It was then that I realized I truly lost it all."

"I can't lie, I was really hurt. For a while." You folded your arms across your body. "It felt like you just threw away five years within what, three months, four? I wanted to blame you. I did, for a while. I hated you. But that wasn’t fair of me. You were hurting too, and you didn’t know how to handle it so then I blamed myself for leaving. I should have stayed and been more supportive. Tried ever harder to help. But that would have just made us both miserable.”

Thor reached across the table for your hand. Sighing, you leaned forward and gave it to him, fingertips running over his gloves. "I know I'm not the same man I was before-"

"I'll say, since when do you wear these cheap fingerless gloves?" You teased. His normal, adorable smile crossed his lips once again making your stomach flip.

"They keep my hands warm. It gets cold in New Asgard." His eyes sparkled brightly. He was the same lovable goofball you fell so hard for.

"I guess that's okay," you teased making his grin spread wider.

"I know I'm not the same," he repeated, squeezing your hands. "But I still love you. And I'll do whatever it takes to win you back."

"Thor…" You pulled your hand away from his. "I'm sorry."

"Is it my appearance?" He rushed. "I can change that. I'll do whatever I can."

You shook your head. "No, Thor, I don't care that you've put on some weight. You're just as handsome as I remember. That has nothing to do with it."

"Tell me what I have to do to win you back," he begged, reaching for your hand again. "Please, Y/N. I've gone mad without you by my side. You're my queen. Let me be your king."

"Thor, its…" Nyx interrupted as she barged into the kitchen, running around and barking. Her little tail flailing side to side.

"Y/N?" You heard a voice as the front door opened. "You home?"

"Yes, hun! In the kitchen!" You stood up to greet your boyfriend as he entered. The little dog also excited, jumping and barking.

"Hello." He quickly kissed your lips before picking up the dog. "And hello to you too!"

Even with his face covered in hair, Thor's shocked expression couldn't be missed. "Thor, this is my boyfriend, Ryan. Ryan, Thor."

Setting Nyx back on the ground, Ryan stepped over to Thor. "It's an honor to meet you!" Thor rose from his chair and shook Ryan's hand. "You're my favorite Avenger!"

"Why, thank you," Thor said modestly. "You're very kind."

"What do I owe the pleasure of having the literal God of Thunder in my kitchen?”

“I ran into him while walking Nyx,” you said, answering for Thor. “It’s been awhile since we saw each other, and I invited him in to talk.” You didn’t keep your past relationship with Thor a secret. It was quite impossible as it was the talk of the internet for some time. Everyone loved seeing you and the God of Thunder being happy and cute together.

“Would you like to stay for lunch?” Ryan asked, still beaming from meeting an Avenger. “We would love to have you.”

Thor waved him off. “No, no, I can't, I'm afraid. In Fact, I really should be getting back.” Thor started crossing the kitchen to leave. “Thank you, though.”

“I’ll walk you out,” you said quickly, feeling bad Thor had to find out you moved on this way.

“That’s quite alright, I can see myself out.” He said another goodbye to your boyfriend before heading out. You were hot on his heels, calling after him.

As he opened the front door and stepped outside you finally managed to grab his arm and stop him. “Thor, please. Wait.” He paused, turning his attention back to you. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to find out like this.”

“I should be the one who is sorry. If I had known you’d… you’d moved on I never would have come.”

The sky was still dark from the storm, rumbles of thunder could be heard in the distance. But the rain itself had stopped. "I'm glad you did stop by. I have missed you, Thor. And I'm happy to see you doing better."

“I am, my darling.” He took your hand in his, bringing it slowly to his lips. His beard tickled the tender flesh; his lips just as soft as you remembered. “And I’m glad you’ve found someone who makes you happy.”

“Thor…”

“I won’t bother you anymore.” He kissed your hand once more. Lingering just a bit longer than the first time. You’d known him for years. You could tell he was heartbroken. And as he walked away you knew, just like before, you couldn’t fix it.

Tags: @dsakita @lancsnerd @xxloki81xx @teddybeardoctorr

#attie's challenge challenge #thor x reader #thor angst #thor endgame #thor x you #thor fic

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iron--spider · 5 years

Text

So I’ve got a LOT of ideas for what I’m gonna work on after ‘Dear Mr. Fantasy.’ A rundown:

OPTION A: HUNGER GAMES AU

Tony is a legendary winner of a Hunger Games twenty years ago. He’s a burnt out, drunk mentor that’s tired of watching these kids go to their deaths. He has no one. Nothing. Being forced to train Peter after he volunteers for Ned gives Tony a reason to live again, and a reason to link up with the resistance to make sure Peter survives this ordeal at all costs.

OPTION B: FREQUENCY AU

Tony died in 2017. In 2027, a still-mourning Peter manages to connect with Tony through a piece of old tech—and the Tony he connects with is in the past, two days before his death. Peter decides to seize the opportunity to change the past, so Tony will have a future.

OPTION C: BIO DAD AU

Tony had an affair with Mary Parker before he knew she was married, and seven months later she comes back by and informs him that she’s pregnant (and it’s his) but she’s going to be staying with her husband. He doesn’t have much interest, though he does make sure the baby is born safe and healthy. Unfortunately, Mary and Richard die in a car accident, which sends Peter to his biological father, as per Mary’s will.

This would most likely be a series of moments as Peter is growing up. That would be the easiest way for me to tackle it. I’d definitely significantly change canon, but I don’t think I’d choose to do something entirely cohesive because it would take me 800 years to write it and it would never end. But it would be Tony slowly figuring out how to be a good dad. How having a son he adores would change his outward image, and how it would help him overcome his own insecurities and fears of becoming like his own father. Peter would still become Spider-Man, and he’d try to hide it from his father, much to Tony’s chagrin.

OPTION D: THE DISAPPEARANCE OF PETER PARKER

May is on a business trip, and Tony wakes up one morning to a weird phone call from her saying she can’t reach Peter. That his phone is doing something strange, saying it’s disconnected. Tony says he’ll handle it. He calls Peter’s phone a couple times, hears the same message. He pings it, gets nothing. Then he uses his tech to search New York for Peter’s signature. There’s nothing. He searches the whole globe in a panic, and he gets NOTHING. Friday tells Tony there is no trace of Peter Parker left on their planet. No trace of him in the known universe.

What follows is a mystery that finds Tony following the threads of Peter’s movements from the previous day, including Spiderfans on twitter tracking his location to a rundown mental hospital on Roosevelt Island. Then Tony finds some graffiti that changes everything.

OPTION E: DARK PETER

Peter Parker has lost so much, that when Tony dies in Endgame, it’s his final straw. Something inside him breaks. He pushes everyone away, he leaves home, and he continues to be Spider-Man, but veers more towards the vigilante route. He becomes more and more reckless. He doesn’t care how much he hurts people. And he starts to kill people. He nearly dies, over and over, and every day more of himself is chipped away.

Someone decides that this is unacceptable. And that someone decides to bring Tony back from the dead to help Peter become himself again, and to give Iron Man back to the world and his family. But who is this someone? And did they choose the wrong person to help them in their death deal?

OPTION F: FFH SPECULATION

Peter is fighting Mysterio near the end of FFH. Mysterio conjures terrible things, such as MJ suffering, Ned being tortured, May screaming for help. His whole class in peril.

But then there’s Tony.

“Peter, help me. Pete, I can’t—I don’t know where I am, I need you, I need help, kid, please, please—”

And Peter can’t help take it. That’s when he deals the final blow to take Mysterio down. The vision disappears, still pleading with him.

Once Mysterio is in custody, Peter asks how he did it. How he was able to conjure Tony, since he was the only one Peter saw that’s actually dead.

And Mysterio says: “I’m not sure what you’re talking about. I didn’t conjure Tony Stark.”

***

It’s possible that all of these will be written, I just don’t know when. What are you guys more interested in? What floats your boat? Tell me in replies and reblogs!

#endgame spoilers #ffh spoilers #iron dad #tony stark #peter parker #my fic ideas

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cynicallystiles · 6 years

Text

Full Stop

Disclaimer: Gif originally posted by me.

Author: @cynicallystiles

Request: @itrocksmysocks - Song-based fic from the song “Punto y Aparte” by Morat.

Warning: Fluff, angst, slight mention of sex, and a breakup.

Notes: Soooo sorry this took so long. I’ve been trying to write when I have motivation so it didn’t turn out like shit. But, obviously, I’m not very motivated often. There will be a part two as requested, hopefully in a few days! Please COMMENT/REBLOG if you enjoy!

Pairing: Shawn Mendes x Reader

Masterlist in Bio

Words: 7,510

"Eyes, look your last! Arms, take your last embrace!" You hear Shawn speak his lines perfectly, if not a little bit over-dramatically. His voice comes from somewhere to your right, though you couldn't be sure because you had to keep your eyes closed and your arms crossed over your chest as if you were dead.

The air around you seems to change as he pauses for dramatic effect before his next line. "And lips, O you kiss the doors of breath..." his voice was right next to you now and honestly you were a little bit nervous. To have your first kiss not only be in front of a ton of people but to not even be able to react when the boy kisses you? Oh, it was a cruel joke.

"Seal with a righteous kiss..." You could feel his lips hovering just above yours hesitantly. "Y/n?"

You peek one eye open to see his face mere inches from yours. "Yes?" You whisper urgently because he's taking way too long.

"Sorry," he whispers back. "I just wanted you to see me when I kiss you." You barely have time to react as he leans down and places a sweet peck to your lips. You scrunch your eyes closed, trying to ignore your heart furiously beating in your chest.

He continues on with his lines, drinking the poison and 'dying.' You rise to a sitting position and continue through the play. Eventually, you find Shawn on the ground with a goblet in his hands. You say your lines as anxiety-free as possible, but that was a hard task considering now you had to kiss him while his eyes were closed.

"I will kiss thy lips," you project as you sit on your knees, cradling Shawn's limp body in your lap. "Haply some poison yet doth hang on them..." you caress his cheek, and you think you see him inhale sharply. "To make for with a restorative."

You lean your head down and your lips brush against his gently before you press them together firmly. After about a second, you pull back and lick your lips. "Thy lips are warm," you deliver your line as sadly as possible.

But when you look down, you see the slight smirk on Shawn's face and you barely manage to hide the grin that pulls at your lips. You continue the scene, 'stabbing' yourself and falling 'dead' on top of Shawn dramatically. Shawn almost burst out laughing at how heavily you fell onto him, and you wanted to laugh at him laughing.

The play ends and the two of you stand in the middle of the cast holding hands as you bow. The crowd cheers rather loudly and Shawn shoves you out in front of him to bow on your own. You do so and the crowd cheers louder, so you grip Shawn by his hand and pull him in front of you to bow by himself as you clap.

He turns to look at you over his shoulder with a broad grin and reaches his hand out to you. You blush furiously as you take it and intertwine your fingers before doing one final bow. When you both come back up, you throw your arms around his neck excitedly. Shawn doesn't react at first, too surprised by your sudden action. But he quickly recovers and wraps his arms around your waist before picking you up and spinning you around.

The two of you giggle uncontrollably as he sets you down and you run backstage to get changed out of your costumes. It was the end of the year play for the studio that the two of you took acting lessons at together. You'd been best friends since you were little, and doing these plays together gave you even more reason to always be with each other. The two of you were now 14 and in ninth grade and you were pretty certain that nothing would ever change between you two.

You finish changing and meet Shawn out in the lobby of the theater with your bag. Both of your parents agreed that you could spend the night at Shawn's after the play since the two of you were inseparable. It was becoming something of a tradition. Last year, he played Prince Charming while you were Cinderella. The two of you agreed that you'd just fake the onstage kiss for that one. But for Romeo and Juliet, it was important that it look as real as possible.

The two of you hopped in the back of Shawn's parents' car and they drove to his house. All the while, the two of you were in the back being uncharacteristically quiet. Street lamps that passed by shone snippets of light on Shawn's face as he looked out the window. When he turns and sees you looking at him, his cheeks tint pink and he grins broadly at you.

You return the grin at his goofy, yet cute smile. Even before he got his braces off, his smile was one of your favorite things about him. As soon as the car was in the driveway, you hopped out and raced inside up to Shawn's room. He passes the doorway to go to the bathroom to change into his pajamas and you changed in his room.

Just as you've pulled the T-shirt over your head, there's a timid knock on the door. You run over and fling it open so Shawn can enter as you flop your back onto his bed. He laughs while he goes to his desk chair, picking up his black guitar along the way. You flip over onto your stomach and rummage through your backpack as he strums the strings.

You finally fish out your book and roll back over onto your back as you hold it in the air above you to read. "Hey, y/n?" Shawn catches your attention and you tilt your head back to look at him upside down.

"Yeah?" Your eyes glance back at the book you were still holding in the air as you waited for his response.

His legs swivel the chair while he plucks a few experimental strings. "What song should I cover for my next video?" He let his eyes finally wander from the strings over to you on the bed. "Are you reading while I'm talking to you?"

"No..." you say distractedly.

"Then what did I ask you?" He chuckles.

Your eyes skim another line of your book and your heart swells with the words on the page. "You asked if you should get a haircut," you say plainly. "You definitely should."

"Y/n!" He whines playfully.

A giggle falls from your lips as you close the book and turn over to face him properly. "I'm just kidding! Geez." You sit upright, letting your legs dangle off of the bed. "You asked what song you should cover for your next video, duh."

"And your answer?" He prompts you as he sets his guitar back in its stand.

You shrug, picking up your book and opening it in your lap. "You should cover whatever you wanna cover, Shawn. Why am I always picking out your songs?" As your eyes go back to reading, Shawn stands up and snatches the book from your lap. "Hey-"

"You're always picking them out because you're my best friend and I like what you pick." He closes the book dramatically and looks at the cover. "What is this, anyway?"

Getting to your feet, you cross the small distance to Shawn. "It's a book of poetry if you must know," you reply as you reach out to take it back. He quickly moves it out of your reach above his head.

"You're such a sap," he laughs. "Why don't you just read romance novels like everyone else?" He stretches his arm higher as you jump to try and reach the book.

You let out a huff as you cross your arms momentarily. "Not all poetry is about love, genius." You hop again and barely manage to grip the corner of the book.

"Oh, yeah? Then, what is poetry about?" He challenges.

Your hand pulls on the book, and Shawn pulls back harder causing you to stumble forward. His other hand steadies you by your waist and he looks down at you intently as he waits. "It's about life."

"Life, huh?" He breathes out. You're chest to chest and you begin to breathe shallowly.

You nod, swallowing to ease the sudden dryness in your throat. "It's about life and the things that happen to you in it..." you murmur. He tilts his head as if to ask you to go on, so you do. You roll your eyes to cover the heat flushing your cheeks. "There are some poems about love...but also about loss and how to keep going when it's hard."

He slowly lowers his hand and the two of you clutch the book in between you. "Why would you wanna read sad poetry?"

"I don't know..." You shrug. "Because when they put it out there for everyone to read...it's not sad anymore, it's just beautiful."

You look down and scrunch your lips to one side nervously before rolling them together. When you look back up, Shawn has a look that you don't recognize on his features. He opens his mouth to speak when you hear his mom's voice from downstairs. "Midnight is in five minutes!! Come downstairs to watch the fireworks!"

He jumps and you pull the book from him while tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. You clear your throat as you toss it on the bed. "Don't wanna miss the fireworks." You walk around Shawn and out of the tense atmosphere of his room. He slowly follows you downstairs, a few steps behind.

"Aww," his mom coos. "You two look adorable in your matching pajamas! I'm so glad you made those last year! Here...stand together so I can get a picture."

She motions for you to scoot closer. Shawn stands next to you and wraps his arm around your shoulders. You wrap yours around his waist while putting your other hand up in a 'peace' sign. He slightly leans into you and does the same with his other hand.

"Oh, come on. Smile, you two. You look like someone died," his dad chips in.

Fighting the fluttering feeling in your chest, you pull your features into a broad smile. You glance at Shawn as he does the same, his smile always looking better than yours no matter the circumstances. You feel his hand squeeze your shoulder and all the weirdness from before fades away.

The camera clicks and the flash goes off, momentarily blinding the both of you. When you take a look at it, you're not completely appalled by it. Shawn looks as cute as he always does in his dark blue, plaid pajama pants. Your T-shirts are white with both of your names written on the front in colorful lettering.

After grabbing some soda, the two of you head out onto the porch to watch the sky for the fireworks happening soon. You both rest your arms on the railing as you clutch your cups. It's pretty cold, and neither of you wore jackets out because it was only supposed to be a few minutes.

"Hey, Shawn," you break the silence with an unsure tone.

He takes a sip of his soda before answering, "Yeah?"

"Why...why did you have me open my eyes for the kiss in the play?" The question had been picking at the back of your mind since it happened and you figured you'd just ask.

He straightens up a little bit and turns his head to look at you. "Because it was your first kiss and I know that you would've wanted to at least be able to see who was kissing you first."

"How do you know that?" You narrow your eyes at him skeptically.

Shawn shrugs and a tiny grin appears on his lips as he looks into your eyes. "Because I know you."

You blink a couple times, unsure of how to respond to that. "Well, thanks. I mean, that doesn't count as my first kiss anyway...but thanks for the thought." You decide to play it cool. You kind of did count it, only because it was Shawn. But, you didn't want to let him know that.

"O-oh, it doesn't?" Shawn clears his throat as he straightens his back a little bit more.

Your brows quirk together quickly and you straighten up to face him. "Not really," you chuckle nervously. He looks down at his slipper-clad feet before setting his cup on the rail. "I mean, I just figured you didn't count it either since it was acting. You're gonna be kissing all kinds of girls when you're in movies someday."

"Yeah...yeah, I guess you're right," he says softly as he toes a chunk of snow off the porch. "I never really thought about it that way." He grows quiet and you can see the deep pink taking over his cheeks.

"Shawn," you say, a sudden and crazy idea popping into your head. He looks up from the ground at you shyly. "Can I ask you a favor?"

A soft smile returns to his lips. "Yeah. You can ask me anything," he replies honestly.

"Will you kiss me at midnight?" You blurt out quickly for fear that you'd get too scared to ask.

His eyebrows practically shoot up to his hairline. "Will I what??" He laughs incredulously.

"You heard what I said." You frown at his reaction because it wasn't at all what you were expecting. He continues chuckling and you just cross your arms and turn back to the rail murmuring, "It wasn't that funny."

He immediately stops laughing, seeing that he's hurt your feelings. "Oh, come on y/n. I didn't mean it like that, it's just..." You fix your eyes on the cup in your hands and he gently lays his hand on your forearm. "Hey, look at me."

"Why?" You deadpan. "So you can laugh in my face again?" Inside you hear the countdown starting at a minute. 59, 58, 57...

His hand pulls more firmly and you let your body face him. "I promise, I was not laughing at what you asked." He holds his pinky up silently waiting for you to believe him. You heave a sigh as you take his pinky with yours.

"Then, what were you laughing at?"

"You just...caught me off-guard," he slightly chuckles again. You squeeze your pinky around his and he continues. "Why do you want me to kiss you at midnight?" 36, 35, 34...

You shrug, still not meeting his eyes. "I thought you sounded disappointed that I didn't count our stage one." You summon all your courage to look at him. "I thought maybe...you wanted me to count you as my first." 13, 12, 11...

He doesn't respond right away and you assume that means you were wrong about his tone earlier. 5, 4, 3... "I do." Your eyes widen and before you know what's happening, Shawn is leaning down to bring his lips to yours.

Your eyes close instinctively, this time knowing he's about to kiss you. You feel his lips ghost over yours shyly and you tilt your head upward toward him. His breath fans your lips just before you feel them press against yours. You inhale slowly as your heart pounds in your chest.

You vaguely hear the fireworks go off above you, but it's hard to say for sure with how loud the blood is rushing in your ears. His lips are soft and delicate while he keeps them pursed against yours for a few more moments. You find yourself leaning further into him just as he pulls away, a nervous smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

When your eyes flutter open, you see a kind of shyness you've never seen in him before. "Uh...um," he stutters before swallowing quickly. "Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year, Shawn," you giggle. "Thanks...for, uh, you know...being my first kiss." You clear your throat as if it would make your heart stop pounding in it.

One corner of his mouth pulls up. "You're welcome." After a moment, he quickly adds, "And thank you, too! Because...you know, being my first kiss and all." He shrugs awkwardly and you laugh.

"You...are welcome," you reply softly. You blink slowly before tipping your head slightly to the side. "About the song you should cover..."

He looks lost for a second before he shakes his head while remembering. "Oh. Never mind about that. I've got one in mind now." His eyes gaze into yours and your eyebrows furrow together intrigued.

"Are you gonna tell me?" You question. He shrugs with a mischievous glint in his eye as you realize that you're still holding pinkies. You release yours and let your hand go to the pocket of your matching pajama pants. "We should get inside...it's really cold."

Shawn's eyes widen when he sees you slightly shivering. "Right!" He grabs your cups and ushers you inside where he wraps a thick blanket around you. "You should come over when I record the next song. That way you can give me your opinion..."

"Sure, sounds fun," you answer automatically, thinking nothing of it as you watch his parents dance to a song that's come on the radio. Beside you, Shawn watches your face and how your eyes follow the movements of his parents wondrously. Your eyes almost close completely when you grin broadly at how goofy they were acting and Shawn gets lost in the sound of your laugh that follows.

A couple of weeks later, you head over to Shawn's house after school just like you said you would. The door is unlocked when you get there and you call out into the house, "Hello? Shawn! I'm here!!" You close it and head upstairs to his room.

The door is cracked and you hear a racket coming from inside. You carefully push the door open and stand there as you take in the scene. Shawn is frantically running around his room picking up dirty clothes and throwing them in his hamper, straightening random things along the way. You clear your throat loudly.

"Ah!" Shawn spins around, almost falling over his book bag. You stifle a laugh as you watch him regain his balance. "Y/n! When did you get here?" He finishes putting the dirty clothes away and sits in his desk chair quickly.

You enter and sit on the edge of his bed. "Just now..." your eyebrows scrunch together at his weird behavior and you scoff. "What is up with you? You never clean your room," you point out.

"That," he says as he claps his hands together, "is not important right now." He stands up from the chair and pulls you off the bed by your hands. "What is important is that I play the song with you before I record it so you just sit here..." He gently pushes you into the desk chair and swivels you by your knees to face the stool he plays on.

Shawn sits on the stool facing you as he adjusts the beanie on his head. "Shawn. Seriously, why are you acting like you took Adderall?" You chuckle as you relax back in the chair.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Sorry...I'm just really nervous about what I'm about to do. So, just," he sighs as he rubs his palms up and down his thighs anxiously, "Don't laugh at me, okay?"

"Promise," you respond immediately serious at his tone and mannerisms. You sit up and nod at him to play for you while you listen. He smiles timidly and picks up his guitar, resting it on his lap while he takes a couple of deep breaths.

Slowly, he begins playing the strings to a familiar song that you hear on the radio all the time. It's one of your favorites, actually. Wanted by Hunter Hayes. You smile softly as Shawn continues to sing. After the first couple of lines, he gains the confidence to look up from the guitar to you as he sings.

You bop your foot along and quietly hum the lyrics. By the second chorus, you're singing along fully with him. Shawn smiles as he sings to you, not expecting you to sing back to him. Truthfully, you were a pretty good singer because of being in choir since you were little. But, that wasn't really what you wanted to do with your life. The two of your voices mix together in perfect harmony as Shawn strums the last of the notes.

Grinning broadly, you clap. "That was so good, Shawn!! You should definitely record it and put it up on YouTube," you encourage him. He blushes slightly as he sets the guitar back in its stand and his hands go back to resting on his knees.

"Thanks," he chuckles as he catches his breath. "You were great, too! I didn't expect you to sing along."

He smiles at you incredulously as you shrug. "Ah, I couldn't help it! You sounded so good and I love the song..." you trail off as you look at him and see his smile has faded. "I'm sorry, did I ruin it?" You giggle.

"What? No!" He quickly disagrees.

"Then, why do you look like I just ruined it?"

He shakes his head and stands up. "You didn't ruin it. I'm just...preparing myself for what comes after the song," he admits.

"Oh, and what comes after?" You ask curiously. Shawn's mouth opens to speak but he closes it again. "You're worrying me. Did you take something?" You tease.

He narrows his eyes at you menacingly but his lips quirk into a reluctant grin. "I'm not on anything. But, I think may be in something."

"...like your room? Or this house?" You ask with a chuckle.

Shawn walks over to you without warning and pulls you up to stand by your hands. You can see by the movements of his chest that he's breathing very deeply as he looks into your eyes. He inhales one more time before closing his eyes and leaning forward to bring his lips to yours.

Your eyes close and you feel his soft lips press into yours, just like they did on New Year's Eve. He carefully brings his hands to hold you by your waist and you rest yours on his chest. You tilt your head and your lips move against his at a different angle. His fingertips sink into your waist slightly before he presses his lips into yours a little more firmly before breaking away from you.

You breathe out slowly, unsure of what just happened. Your eyebrows are raised and you keep your eyes closed while you wait for the dizzy feeling to go away. "Well, you didn't pull away..." Shawn breathes out and his words fan your lips.

"Why did you do that?" You whisper with your eyes still closed.

He clears his throat. "Because I like you. Like, I like like you. I'm in like with you," he rambles on and you chuckle. "And...I think you're in like with me too."

You just barely manage to gain control of your body and force your head to tilt up and down once. The movement is almost imperceptible to Shawn, so you speak as well. "You...would be right. Yeah."

"Awesome," he breathes out and you can hear the smile in his tone. You let your eyes flutter open and find his hazel brown eyes gazing right into yours. "Y/n...will you be my girlfriend?" He whispers, the shyness returning.

A smile takes over your lips as you nod fully this time. "Yeah. Yeah, I will." He lets out a relieved chuckle as he snakes his arms around your waist and you let yours slide around the back of his neck.

Things after that afternoon changed. You were no longer allowed to spend the night at each other's houses (understandably). The two of you were always holding hands in between classes and stealing kisses at hockey games. Shawn took you to a movie for your 15th birthday and you didn't really watch much of it. You thought that things were gonna be perfect like this forever.

But, they weren't. You saw a little bit less of Shawn when he went on tour with Magcon with other Viners after he gained a whole lot of followers very quickly and was an opening act for Austin Mahone on his tour. Then, some manager discovered him and flew him to a real-life record label. Everything was happening so fast, you don't even remember Shawn saying that he wanted to switch his dream from being an actor to a singer.

You had things going on for yourself though. By your 16th birthday, you had won a couple of poetry contests and one of your poems was even published in a literary magazine. Although, your big news was kind of overshadowed by Shawn's new that he was officially a signed singer. You saw even less of him as he worked to release his EP in the summer.

While you were really proud of him, you had to admit that you were feeling kind of lonely. Yes, he was your first real boyfriend, but no amount of American movies and TV shows could've prepared you for what to do when your boyfriend slowly becomes a pop star. You were just hoping that things with Shawn would be normal enough for the two of you to get through 11th grade together.

And they were. Slightly. He still came to school with you. But, he dropped out of all his extra-curriculars to work on his first full-length album. In August for his 16th birthday, you made him promise to take the whole day off so you could spend it together. He kept his promise and the two of you went out to eat and a movie.

Afterward, you found a nice secluded place where you could park your car and lay on the hood to look at the stars. Shawn lays with his back on the windshield, one arm resting behind his head as he curls the other around you.

"This is so nice," you say nuzzling closer into his chest.

He kisses the top of your head and pulls you into him as well. "I know. I feel like we haven't had a chance to be alone in a while," he chuckles. You don't answer, just quietly savoring this moment with him. "I know that's mostly my fault. I'm sorry I've been so busy-"

"Shhh," you cut him off as you sit up and look down at him. "I don't wanna talk about you being busy. Because right now..." You trail off as you slowly start to peel off your jean jacket. "You are completely and absolutely free."

Shawn leans up on his elbows. "Uh...y/n, what are you doing?" He chuckles nervously. You finish taking off your jacket and set it on the hood next to you before straddling him.

"Do you not want to?" You ask nervously as your hands rest on his chest. He shifts slightly beneath you.

"No. I mean yes! I mean-" he swallows as he takes your hands in his. "I want to. I just figured you'd want it to be more special than this," he admits.

You chuckle as you take his jaw in your hands and lean down to kiss him sweetly. "Anytime and anywhere is special," you whisper against his lips. "As long as it's with you."

His lips curl into a smile against yours as he grips your hips with both hands. He kisses you back eagerly before leaning back suddenly. "Wait, I don't have anything." He looks at you worriedly and you let your head fall forward a bit as you giggle.

"I didn't want to assume or anything, but..." you reach into your back pocket to retrieve the little square package. "I was kind of hoping."

He looks at you incredulously as he brings one hand to the back of your neck. "You're the most amazing girl I've ever met," he confesses as he pulls your lips back down to his.

That was your first time together. After that, he was so much more touchy and clingy. But, you loved every single second of it. You loved every single time you got to hang out with Shawn outside of school because those times were few and far between.

As he continued to work on his album, you took up piano lessons and learned fast. You even began dabbling in songwriting. You were pretty good at it. About a month before your 17th birthday, you had called Shawn to tell him about a songwriting competition where the winner would get a chance to help write a song for Selena Gomez's next album.

"Babe! You'll never guess what happened. I have the most exciting news!" You squealed into the phone.

He replied just as excitedly, almost as if he didn't even hear what you said. "I have big news too! Come over in an hour and I'll tell you all about it!" You opened your mouth to respond but the line had already gone dead.

An hour later, you found yourself at Shawn's house heading up to his room. You knock and he opens the door with the biggest grin on his face. He pulls you into a tight hug before ushering you inside. Just as he's about to close the door you hear his dad's voice from somewhere in the house, "NO CLOSED DOORS!"

You giggle as Shawn pulls the door back open wide. He perches on the edge of his bed and you take your place in his desk chair. "So..." you clasp your hands in your lap excitedly. "Do you want to share your news first or should I?"

"I guess I'll go first since it's kind of a lot," he proposes. "I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it all. Um," he continues before he clears his throat. "Okay. So I wanted you to be the first to know that my album is finished!"

You shoot up out of your chair at his news. "Oh my god, Shawn! That's wonderful!" You laugh excitedly as you pull him up to his feet for a hug. "I'm so proud of you," you murmur into his neck while his hand rubs up and down your back. You pull back so you can see his face. "So, I actually have some similar-"

"Wait, that's not the only news I had..." he admits.

Your eyebrows scrunch together as you sit down. "It's not?" He walks over and sits down on the stool where he used to record all his YouTube videos.

"I also have a gig lined up for the summer," he slowly confesses.

"Oh, that's great! What is it?"

He inhales deeply before releasing it. "It's being the opening act for Taylor Swift's 1989 Tour!" He grins happily. Your eyebrows raise as your mouth parts slightly, unsure of what to say.

"Wow," you breathe out. "So...you're gonna be gone all summer." Your eyes fall to your lap as an aching feeling seeps into your heart.

Shawn gets up and kneels in front of you while he takes your hands. "Hey...don't be sad. Please? Then I'm gonna be sad," he chuckles.

You nod as you look back to him. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," he pleads. "I'll be back to finish school and graduate with you! It's just one summer. I know we can make it work." He squeezes your hands comfortingly.

"You're right...I'm really happy for you. I'm just gonna miss you is all." You smile sadly as you look at your intertwined fingers in your lap.

He thinks for a moment before standing up slowly. "Tell you what..." he goes back to his stool and picks up his guitar. "I'm gonna play you a song that's on the album that was inspired by you."

"You really wrote me a song?" You crack a tiny smile as you look at him.

He nods proudly. "A few actually, but this one is specifically to make you feel better when I'm gone." He grins at you broadly. "But, don't tell anyone. Technically, I'm not supposed to share it until the album comes out next week."

"Promise, I won't tell a soul," you giggle.

"Good," he states. "Now, scoot over here," he demands.

You laugh as you use your feet to scoot the chair all the way over to right in front of him. "Better?"

"Much!" He leans over his guitar and kisses you on the cheek before he begins strumming the guitar. You listen as he begins singing an achingly beautiful song he called Never Be Alone. By the time he finishes the song, your eyes have started watering.

"Babe, that was really beautiful." You smile sadly as you dab at your eyes to make sure no tears have dripped.

He sets the guitar back in its stand and cups your cheeks. "I'm gonna call you every chance I get, and before you know it...I'll be back for school." Shawn smiles reassuringly at you before leaning down and softly pressing his lips to yours.

Your heart is so full of your feelings for him that you forget to tell him that you won that competition. For a week in the summer, you were gonna get to stay in L.A. to write a song with Selena Gomez.

Summer came and Shawn left for Taylor's tour. About a month after, you were touching down in L.A. to work with Selena Gomez on her next single. In the month since he left, Shawn had managed to call you at least once a week. Though you thought it would be much more often.

You were in the studio one day, throwing ideas around with Selena and some other writers getting absolutely nowhere. "Guys, my brain is fried. Maybe we should order lunch and take a break," Selena suggests.

"I second that. All I had this morning was water," you chuckle tiredly.

Selena claps her hands. "Great! Let's get pizza and then we'll be back at it reenergized!" She orders enough for your small group and they get to talking while you wait.

You don't hear much of their conversation as you keep checking your phone for texts from Shawn. Selena swipes the phone from your hand. "Hey!"

"Ooo! Who's Shawn?? And why have you been opening and closing his contact for the past fifteen minutes?" She giggles mischievously.

You grab it back from her politely and put it back in your pocket. "He's my boyfriend," you admit and a blush creeps up your neck. "He's on tour and he said he would text me this morning but hasn't yet," you explain.

"On tour? Is he a musician?" Selena questions.

You smile softly, loving the chance to brag about him. "Yeah! He, um...he's actually opening for Taylor in her North America concerts."

"No way! Hold on, I'm looking him up..." she replies, already on her phone. "Damn, y/n! He's a cutie! I don't know how you keep your hands to yourself around him..."

You laugh loudly. "I literally can't!" You let your laugh die down a bit before adding on, "I mean I could, but why would I want to?"

Selena stops mid-giggle and stares at you like you've just invented electricity. "What did you just say?"

"What?"

She sits up excitedly in her chair. "What you just said! About keeping your hands to yourself! That'd be a great lyric!"

"Oh! I said..." you pause trying to remember your exact phrasing. "I think I said, 'I mean I could, but why would I want to'."

"We're onto something," Selena mumbles as you all get back to writing before the pizzas even arrive.

You successfully finish the song before heading back to Canada. The rest of the summer was kind of dull compared to hanging out with Selena Gomez but you made the best of it. Shawn wasn't able to call or text as often as he promised he would. But, that didn't really matter by the time he got back because you were excited to see him again.

While his parents went to pick him up from the airport, they said you could stay at the house with his little sister as a surprise. You had gotten some balloons and made a cake to celebrate the end of his first tour and also him being home.

His parents come through the front door with his suitcases while he's still getting his guitar from the trunk. "Here let me help you with that, Mrs. Mendes!" You say excitedly as you take a suitcase and set it by the stairs.

"Thanks, sweetie." She takes a deep breath as she looks around. "You really outdid yourself! Shawn's gonna love it." She smiles warmly at you as she squeezes your shoulder.

"Mom! Dad!" Shawn calls out absentmindedly as he enters the house. "I think I may have lost my charger-" his words cease as he looks up to see the decorations and you standing there.

You reach into your pocket and pull out a handful of confetti before throwing it into the air to shower down over Shawn. "SURPRISE!!" You giggle excitedly as you throw your arms around his shoulders.

"Oh, wow," he breathes out as he drops his guitar case to hug you back slightly. "You really didn't have to do all this."

You let go of him so you can properly take in his appearance. He looks slightly different than the last time you FaceTimed, but still his cute self. "Oh! It was nothing, really." You grin happily as Shawn's eyes continue to dart between the decorations and the cake and you.

"Well...let me take my stuff up to my room and then we can catch up," He clears his throat weirdly before turning to head up the stairs.

You look at his parents nervously. "Is he okay?"

"I'm sure he's just a little jet-lagged, honey," his mom assures you. You nod as you force a smile onto your face. Something in your gut didn't feel right from the way that Shawn was acting.

A little while later after everyone has had a piece of the cake, you notice Shawn lingering by the door. When you make eye contact, he nods toward the door before heading outside onto the porch. You close the door behind you and sit next to him on the top step.

"What's going on?" You chuckle as you nudge his shoulder with yours. "You love when I make a cake with my mom's recipe."

His shoulders rise and fall as he breathes deeply. "No. I love the cake," he forces a small smile as he glances at you before training his stare back onto the sidewalk. "I just, uh...I just wrote a couple songs while I was on tour and wanted to get your opinion on one."

"Oh!" You scoff playfully as your brows crease. "Why didn't you just say so? I'm sure they're great," you assure him as he pulls out his phone and headphones.

You place the buds in your ears and let him press play. A slow piano melody begins to play, and it immediately tugs at your heartstrings. You glance over at Shawn who's still looking down to his lap. The lyrics to a song called Running Low start and you sway slightly as you listen.

The further into the song you get, the more your movements slow to a stop. You find yourself staring hard at the pavement of the sidewalk as you feel tears prick your eyes. As the song ends, you take out the earbuds and hand them back to Shawn.

"Wow," you whisper as you sniffle a little bit. "That was, um," you pause before letting out a chuckle as you finish, "sad, to be honest. That was really sad, babe."

He nods slowly, still unable to meet your eyes. "Yeah," he clears his throat. "It was just something that was rattling around in my head..."

A feeling of heaviness spreads throughout your body and it feels like you swallowed concrete. "What, um," you swallow as your throat becomes increasingly dry, "is everything okay?"

"No," he says barely audible. Your breath immediately hitches in your throat and it's becoming increasingly hard to breathe. "No, it's not."

You try to remain calm as your mind jumps to every single worst case scenario. "What's wrong? You can tell me anything, babe..."

"I know," he sighs deeply. "But, we have to stop seeing each other." Just like that, the breath is pulled from your lungs and you’re struggling to stop your hands from shaking. He said it quickly, like ripping off a band-aid.

You wanted to ask questions. But you knew that if you did, your voice would break and you didn't want him to hear you like that. You try and force air into your lungs as you stand up slowly. "I'll see you at school," you whisper as you go down the steps and head to your car.

Shawn stands and follows you quickly. "Y/n!" He grabs your hand and you pause, waiting to hear what he has to say without looking at him. "You understand what I said, right?"

"Yeah," you choke out as you roll your eyes slightly while the tears build in them. "You're breaking up with me. Anything else?" You kept your tone small and quiet so you wouldn't sound like how you felt inside. Like every piece of your heart was shattering.

He tugs on your hand a little bit, but you remain facing away from him. "Anything else?" He questions in confusion. "Y/n, I just broke up with you and that's all you have to say?" He asks, slightly hurt.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know! Something!" His voice rises slightly. "We dated for over two and a half years. We...shared most of our firsts together. I just expected you to be a little more affected than this.."

You turn around slowly and stare at him. The tears that were building up had overflowed and your mascara was smudging at the corners where you had scrunched your eyes. Your bottom lip trembles as you pry your hand away from his.

"Is this affected enough for you?" You ask plainly. As you wipe the slick tears from your cheeks you sigh heavily. "Guess I can add first heartbreak to that list of stuff we shared, huh?" You chuckle coldly as your sadness fizzles into anger because it's an easier emotion to deal with. "Were you just doing this to see how I'd react?" You ask disbelievingly.

Shawn's eyes widen. "What? No! I would never do that to you, y/n..." You nod along to his words sarcastically, as if you could believe anything that came out of his mouth anymore. "You just deserve more time dedicated to you than I can give you. I mean I barely talked to you all summer and I feel terrible about it-"

You interrupt him angrily. "So you just break up with me instead of trying to make it work?? This is our last year of school together and you're giving up! You're a quitter, Shawn!"

"No! That is not it," he replies sternly. You cross your arms and raise an eyebrow challengingly. "I'm gonna be going on a lot of tours as my career takes off, y/n. Most longer, and more hectic than this one. It'll just get harder to make time for you and I don't want you to feel like I don't love you!"

You throw your hands up exasperatedly. "Great. So you figured you'd just move up that timetable and make me feel like you don't love me now. That's the perfect logic," you lament.

"I do love you, y/n-"

"No." You shake your head as you turn and walk to your car. As you open the driver's side, you look at Shawn over the hood of your car. "No, you don't. At least not enough to try and make it work. Not enough to believe that we could've made it."

He opens his mouth to respond, but you get into your car and slam the door. The tears are back at the brim of your eyes as you buckle your seatbelt and start your car. You look out the passenger window and see that Shawn as walked up closer to the car. A scoff escapes your lips as you pull away from the curb, leaving Shawn in your rearview mirror.

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