#i will. miss her very much

[burger-goblin]

can i get an f in the chat

just had to send my 21-year old car off to the retirement home and, since she was my first car, i'm feeling like a big ol baby about it

[watchingwisteria]

listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded psychopath happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Sublime Equine.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[nonasbirthday]

i still can't believe there are folks who say "well GTN is annoying but you just have to get through it and then the other books aren't like that so you'll be fine."

personally i have been chasing the high of GTN ever since i first closed the book

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 247

Danny grumbles, going limp as the Spirit plucked him up, holding him out like some sort of stray cat. Their golden eyes stared across him, white hair shimmering and bloodied feathers rustling as they tilted their head. 

“You sure he’s not somehow ours?” Bludhaven asks again, setting him down once more to circle. Amity laughs, wild hair the color of wheat fluttering in a non-existent breeze and portal pulsing like a heart as she rests a hand on his head. 

“Well darlin’, I am asking if you would be open to adopting,” the Spirit laughs, the sound as familiar as the birds outside his window in the mornings. “Well, I suppose I could always ask your dear sister Arkham-” 

“No no, I would be honored,” Bludhaven smiled a literally sharp grin, something mischievous and violent about it in a way Danny was slowly growing used to. “I’m just- look at the little ghostling! He looks like he could be from ours! My hair, your eyes… he’s just missing markings…” 

“Markings he’ll get once you give me an answer darlin’...”

“OH- Yes, of course! Sorry, I got whelmed there.” 

“You have been stalking your vigilante a bit too much there Blud.” 

[tomatoart]

my take on the tropical summer miku!

[soupdreamer]

hey brennan what the fuck

[expelliarmus]

[skeleton-squid-boy]

ever think about twelve being so sick of losing people, especially losing people because of their belief in him as a hero, like amy. so he strips off that mask and shows how cold and calculating he is willing to be with lives and he chooses a face that shows his age and stops hiding his danger behind a charming smile or a bow tie. he does it as a kindness, so Clara knows what she's getting into. and she does. and she gets into it anyway. and it makes him even more desperate not to lose her. so he breaks all of his own rules, everything he stood for because just once he didn't want to have to lose someone. he went to the end of space and time the long way round, he beat death and he betrayed the home he spent his life searching for to try save her. for once he chose what he wanted, her, over the universe.

and after all that, all he managed to do was make it so she lost him instead.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

resident evil village but ethan actually has rose with him this time and its a game changer

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡

[oblique-lane]

more mercenary analysis, whichever merc you want <3

Not a mercenary but... Okay!

Let's dissect Pauling

Always so collected, responsible and efficient. The one who is not afraid to get her hands dirty for the sake of a goal, and her performance is always one hundred percent. What could possibly be not cool about her?

Well, maybe the fact that this all is, in fact, an act. Of course it is.

I'm not saying her determination and dedication to her job aren't sincere decisions of her heart, she really enjoys it and shines in her work. It's just a matter of WHY and WHAT she's doing it for. And on what scale.

For her, her job is EVERYTHING. Eagerly working 364 days a year with barely any rest, masochistically putting herself in so much danger, blindly following the boss's instructions, not even hesitating to kill people standing on the way...

Wow, there's gotta be something going on here.

Well, obviously the Administrator plays A HUGE role in this situation. Why would Pauling trust her so much? Referring to the comics, Pauling trusted her wholeheartedly on whatever the Administrator was planning, even though she didn't know what it was. This blind following that vaguely resembles nothing less than a weird somewhat child-to-a-mother attachment. It's just a Boss, just a job, why?

Because that's what it is. Mother issues. Very apparent.

We don't know anything about Pauling's past, so there's where the headcanons begin:

I'm assuming her birth mother was very neglectful and dismissing, never acknowledged her daughter's accomplishments and struggles. No matter how hard Pauling tried to become "worthy" in her eyes, it seemed to be never enough, as if she didn't even exist at all. Maybe her mother was a substance addict or something and their household wasn't safe and stable, so Pauling had to become an adult early and run away from home as a teenager and find a job to get by.

(I assume that because I believe there was a mention in the canon lore that Ms.Pauling had been working for the Administrator for long long years (don't remember exactly), indicating that she started working when she was still a minor).

So, being taken under the Administrators wing, her young wounded brain found a substitute for a very thing she was lacking, subconsciously clinging onto the Administrator as a newly mother figure, in order to "get it right this time".

Administrators Strictness, responsibility and demandingness were the most favorite qualities of a person of authority in Pauling's eyes, in contrast to the laziness, unaccountability and indifference of the environment in which she grew up. She could finally strive.

This time she would show the mother figure that she's worthy, she's important and irreplaceable; she exists. She would prove that no amount of hardship is too much for her if it means approval for the Administrator.

And the Administrator kind-of-sort-of gave Pauling this pseudo-love in return, encouraging her to sacrifice herself even more for their work. Which is at the very least unfair, and at most just predatory. Administrators "love" was conditional, in contrast with when the real motherly love Pauling unknowingly expected. Administrator was too immature for a mother figure, too much in power for a partner or a friend, yet too close for a formal boss. What is this!? Something not nice.

The Administrator doesn't love Pauling for Pauling, she loves her working qualities. And thus, Paulings subconscious guess was confirmed that "I'm only important when I'm doing the job. I AM the job."

Tying your worth to what you DO instead of what you are is a huge dangerous existential rout one could choose. But she never really knew her importance outside of her skills, so she wouldn't know.

Now imagine how actually painful that character arc was for her, when the Administrator proved herself to be unreliable and secretive, and when Pauling started to question her intentions for the first time.

"... Because I trusted you!"

"Then why are you questioning me now?"

It wasn't even the real conversation between them, just Pauling's mind torturing her.

It reminded me of the crisis of a 4-year-old when they realise that their parents aren't perfect; they don't know anything and they CAN hurt you.This shattering illusion of almighty love. When a child stops believing that the "harsh love" their mother treats them with is simply an abuse.

Wouldn't it be terrifying to realise in your 20s thar despite running for "the mother's approval" all your life, you will never truly get it. If your mother failed to provide it to you at such a young age, nothing will truly substitute that, especially now, when you're an adult, no one will love your inner child the way it was supposed to be loved.

Unless you yourself decide to take that role.

...

Realistically speaking, it's not nearly that sever with Pauling! She's happy in the environment she's in, there's lots of interests for her to explore (Guns, fights, killin'!) So many adventures every day! Even if Pauling has her inner suffering, it's not that bad aa I describe it. Her mother problems may actually be an advantage, a reason she is such a good and caring boss for the mercenaries.

I'm just edgying things down for the sake of the clearer analysis. But still...

If the Administrator will be gone and Pauling loses her life-dedicated job... What will be left? Who is Pauling once Mann Co is no more? Can she answer that?

References:

– A video that helped me better understand the Good Girl mask:

– "Lise Bourbeau's 5 soul wounds model: Injustice"

[lasshoe]

this just put the fear of god in me bc i deadass thought this was a still of rebecca welton

[ubepan]

mithrun thought of his lover as someone who's "untrustworthy". he looked down at her too, if this is anything to go by

she's a naga for ALL panels she's in with mithrun--you'd think if he wanted her to feel real, she'd atleast have been a doppelganger or something but she's been a chimera for most of the times we've seen her. mithrun's been dungeon lord for 5 years of his life, and his supposed lover has been a chimera for . probably all of it.

also consider: kabru is spinning the narrative about mithrun's time as a dungeon lord into something Laios can comprehend. i think that's critical. kabru says “his life in the dungeon couldn't have been happier” and i think he's being literal. there's little happiness in living in a lie, and personally—mithrun's expression here is pretty telling

is this anything

[astralstarlight]

“You love me, right?” 

He watches your movements stop. 

Ran doesn’t do this. The eldest Haitani brother always shows up self-assured; every bone in his body reminding him that he’s right and if he’s not right, then he’ll simply make it right. And yet, he can’t help but swallow past the dryness in his throat as he asks you the question. He’s Ran Haitani. The same Ran who’s bleary eyed and still in his suit, sitting with his elbows on your shared kitchen countertop on a Tuesday night, but for some reason, he can’t seem to meet your eyes. 

This is what he’s always done – shown up late and let you care for him, breathing life back into his tired bones. It’s a cycle that never seemed to end, even now that you were both adults. He cares for you too, obviously. He’d burn the world down for you or run away with you and never look back, if you asked him to. His fingers twitch. Maybe not the second option. But you were something else to care for now, another worry added to his list that used to only consist of Rindou Haitani. 

You turn from your chopping board to face him warily. Maybe he’s asking this to tease you. Maybe he’s worried. Ran’s shaking his foot, head pointedly turned away to face the windows instead of you. 

Do you know that if you deny him or brush him aside, he’ll fall apart? Do you know that he’s absolutely ready to spend the rest of his life coming home to you? 

“Yeah, I love you.” You’ve neglected your dinner preparations now, choosing to lean over the countertop to look at him. The water simmers steadily behind you in the pot. “What’s this all about then?” 

There’s a smile in your voice, he knows it before he even meets your gaze. He turns his head and there it is: your lips curving upwards in amusement. It’s your eyes that betray a flicker of worry. Ran sighs in relief. 

“It’s nothing.” He says quickly, pushing off from his seat and wandering around your form to check on the now boiling water. To his dismay, you follow him, peeking over his shoulder as well. You’re close enough that he can feel your warmth just behind him. Maybe he should kiss you. 

“Are you jealous again?” Your question leaves him stunned, a tilt of your head lets him know you're teasing him.

“No.” A pause. “Should I be?” 

You do it first, kissing his cheek and nudging him out of the way with your hip. You’re braver than him. It’s something he realised a long time ago, but something that keeps appearing in his thoughts everyday. He wants to be brave too. But what he really does is instead is stand next to you in a frozen position, waiting for your answer. 

“Never.” There’s that smile on your face again, a cheeky one, even as you’re looking up at him to make sure he’s really listening. “I’d choose you every day.” 

“Good.” Although his heart stutters at the comment, he’s glad that his words stay calm. “There’s no one better than me.” 

Ran acts on his thoughts this time, wrapping his arms around your middle loosely. Another pause, and then he’s resting his chin on top of your head, a satisfied huff leaving him as you don’t push him away. 

This type of lifestyle has always been a pipe dream really. But it’s real now, and you’re still here after all these years so he must be doing something right. His hand reaches into his pocket, running his fingers over a small, velvet box. 

One day, much later, he’ll be brave and maybe even surprise you. But for now, he’s contented with coming home to you. 

[yrdnzz]

remembering