#that car saw me through some of the worst years of my life and took all my abuse. she would always start and get me from a to b

[burger-goblin]

can i get an f in the chat

just had to send my 21-year old car off to the retirement home and, since she was my first car, i'm feeling like a big ol baby about it

[st4rtar0t]

Describing your love trope with your future spouse as a writer

Pick a picture

MASTERLIST ☆ PAID SERVICES

LONG POST AHEAD!

Pictures belong to their rightful owners, I only own the content of this post.

Picture 1

Arranged blind date

I stared at my reflection, the dress clinging to my frame in a way that was both flattering and unfamiliar. It had been months since I’d worn anything other than sweatpants and old t-shirts. My heart pounded as I thought about the evening ahead. What had I let Emma talk me into?

“Trust me, y/n,” she had said, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “You deserve someone who treats you right. This guy is perfect for you.”

I wanted to believe her. After all, Emma knew me better than anyone. She had seen me through the worst of my relationship with Adam, watched as I shrank into myself, convinced I was unworthy of love and respect. She had been my rock when I finally walked away.

Now, she was determined to help me move on, even if it meant dragging me into the world of blind dates.

“You look stunning,” Emma said, stepping into my bedroom. Her smile was warm and reassuring. “And you’ll be fine. Just be yourself.”

I nodded, trying to steady my breathing. “What if he’s... I don’t know, another Adam?”

Emma shook her head firmly. “He’s not. Trust me. I’ve known him for years. He’s kind, funny, and he’s been through his own share of heartbreak. You two will understand each other.”

Taking a deep breath, I followed Emma out the door and into her car. As she drove, I gazed out the window, my mind a swirl of anxiety and hope. The city lights blurred past, a cacophony of life that felt distant and unreal.

We arrived at the restaurant, a cozy little place with warm lighting and the comforting aroma of home-cooked meals. Emma squeezed my hand. “He’s waiting at table five. Go on, I’ll be right here if you need me.”

I hesitated, then nodded. “Okay. Here goes nothing.”

As I approached table five, I saw him. He was looking down at his menu, but there was something about him that immediately put me at ease. He had an air of quiet confidence, and when he looked up and our eyes met, he smiled. It was a smile that reached his eyes, genuine and warm.

“y/n?” he asked, standing up and offering his hand.

I took it, surprised by how natural it felt. “Yes. And you must be Michael.”

He nodded, his grip gentle yet reassuring. “It’s really nice to meet you. Emma’s told me a lot about you.”

I laughed nervously, taking my seat. “All good things, I hope.”

“Only the best,” he said, his eyes twinkling with kindness. “She’s very fond of you.”

As we started talking, I found myself relaxing. Michael was easy to talk to, his sense of humor lightening the mood. He shared stories about his work as a graphic designer, his passion for painting, and his dog, Max, who sounded like a real character.

“So, Emma tells me you’re quite the photographer,” he said, his tone genuinely interested.

I blushed slightly. “I dabble. It’s just a hobby, really.”

“From what I hear, you’re pretty talented,” he replied. “Maybe you could show me some of your work sometime?”

I nodded, feeling a warmth spread through me that I hadn’t felt in a long time. “I’d like that.”

The evening passed in a blur of laughter and easy conversation. For the first time in what felt like forever, I was enjoying myself. Michael was attentive, respectful, and genuinely interested in what I had to say. It was a stark contrast to the indifference and criticism I had grown accustomed to with Adam.

As we said our goodbyes, Michael looked at me with a hopeful expression. “I had a great time tonight, y/n. Can we do this again sometime?”

I smiled, feeling a lightness in my heart. “I’d like that very much, Michael.”

As I walked back to Emma, who was waiting with a knowing smile, I realized something. Maybe, just maybe, I was ready to open my heart again. And maybe this time, I’d find the love and respect I truly deserved.

⁠—⁠☆

Emma hugged me as soon as I reached her. “See? Told you it would be fine.”

I hugged her back, gratitude welling up in my chest. “Thank you, Emma. For everything.”

She grinned. “That’s what friends are for.”

And for the first time in a long while, I felt hopeful about the future.

Picture 2

Friends to lovers

I stood outside y/n’s apartment, nervously shifting from one foot to the other. The city was quiet tonight, the streetlights casting a warm glow on the sidewalk. I had been here countless times, but tonight felt different. Tonight, everything was about to change.

Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door. Almost immediately, I heard her footsteps approaching. The door swung open, and there she was, her smile lighting up the entire hallway.

“Hey! Come on in,” she said, stepping aside to let me pass.

I walked in, my heart pounding in my chest. “Hey, y/n. Thanks for having me over.”

We settled on her couch, the same spot where we’d shared countless conversations, laughter, and even tears over the years. She handed me a cup of tea, her eyes sparkling with the warmth I had come to cherish.

“So, what’s up?” she asked, taking a sip of her own tea. “You sounded a bit urgent on the phone.”

I looked at her, really looked at her, and realized just how much she meant to me. Her kindness, her strength, her infectious laugh—all the little things that made her who she was. It hit me like a tidal wave. I was in love with her. I always have been.

“y/n, there’s something I need to tell you,” I began, my voice trembling slightly.

She set her cup down, her expression turning serious. “What is it? You know you can tell me anything.”

I took a deep breath, gathering my courage. “y/n, you’ve been my best friend for as long as I can remember. You’ve been there for me through everything, and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

She smiled, reaching out to squeeze my hand. “I am your best friend. I will always be there for you no matter what happens. Now tell me, what is bothering you?”

I swallowed hard, feeling the weight of the moment. “But that’s the thing. I don’t just see you as my best friend anymore. Somewhere along the way, my feelings changed. I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Her eyes widened, and for a moment, there was a silence that felt like an eternity. My heart was in my throat, fear and hope battling within me.

“oh…” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

I pressed on, needing her to understand. “I know this might come as a shock, and I don’t want to ruin what we have. But I had to tell you. I can’t keep pretending that what I feel for you is just friendship.”

Her eyes searched mine, and I saw tears forming. Panic surged through me. Had I made a terrible mistake?

But then she smiled, a radiant, beautiful smile that took my breath away. “I’ve been waiting for you to say that for so long.”

Relief washed over me like a flood. “You... you have?”

She nodded, tears spilling over her cheeks. “I’ve loved you for years. I was just too scared to tell you. I didn’t want to risk losing you.”

I reached out, brushing a tear from her cheek. “You’ll never lose me, y/n. You’re everything to me.”

She leaned into my touch, her eyes filled with love and vulnerability. “I love you.”

The words were like music to my ears. I pulled her into my arms, holding her tightly. “I love you too, y/n. More than you’ll ever know.”

We sat there, wrapped in each other’s embrace, the world outside fading away. All that mattered was this moment, the love we had finally confessed, and the promise of a future together.

As I held her, I realized something. Love had been right in front of me all along, in the form of my best friend. And now that I had found it, I was never letting go.

Picture 3

Opposites attract

I watched him from across the room, the way he moved with such effortless grace and confidence. The party was in full swing, laughter and chatter filling the air, but all I could focus on was Ethan. He was the epitome of extroversion, charming everyone around him with his easy smile and quick wit.

I, on the other hand, was more comfortable in the shadows, observing rather than participating. I preferred a good book to a loud party, a quiet evening at home to a night out on the town. Yet, here I was, drawn to someone who was my complete opposite in every way.

Ethan caught my eye and waved, making his way over to me. My heart skipped a beat, a mixture of excitement and nervousness swirling inside me.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said, his voice warm and inviting. “Why are you hiding over here all alone?”

I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “Just taking a break from all the excitement.”

He laughed, a rich, contagious sound. “You know, you’re the only person I know who comes to a party to take a break from it.”

I smiled, feeling a little more at ease. “Well, someone has to keep an eye on things from the sidelines.”

“Mind if I join you?” he asked, his eyes twinkling with that mischievous spark I was starting to adore.

“Sure,” I said, surprised by how much I wanted him to stay.

We sat down on the edge of the patio, the cool night air a welcome contrast to the warmth of the crowded house. For a moment, we just sat in comfortable silence, the sounds of the party fading into the background.

“You know, Y/N,” Ethan said, breaking the silence. “I’ve always admired how you can just... be. You don’t need all this noise and attention to feel happy.”

I looked at him, surprised by his honesty. “And I’ve always admired how you can light up a room just by walking into it. You make everything look so easy.”

He smiled, a softer, more genuine smile than I’d seen before. “It’s not always as easy as it looks. Sometimes, it feels like I’m just playing a role. But with you... I feel like I can be myself.”

My heart swelled at his words. “I feel the same way, Ethan. With you, I don’t feel like I have to hide.”

We continued talking, sharing pieces of ourselves we hadn’t revealed to anyone else. I told him about my love for painting, how it was my way of expressing emotions I couldn’t put into words. He opened up about his fear of being alone, how he surrounded himself with people to avoid facing his own insecurities.

As the night wore on, I found myself drawn to him in ways I hadn’t expected. Despite our differences, or maybe because of them, we fit together in a way that felt right. His outgoing nature balanced my introversion, his confidence bolstered my shyness, and his warmth melted my reservations.

Ethan reached out, taking my hand in his. His touch was gentle, yet it sent a jolt of electricity through me. “Y/N, I know we’re different, but I can’t help how I feel. Being with you makes me want to be better, to be more.”

I looked into his eyes, seeing the vulnerability and sincerity there. “I feel the same way, Ethan. You make me feel... alive, like anything is possible.”

He leaned in closer, his gaze never leaving mine. “So, what do you say we give this a try? Us, I mean. I know it won’t always be easy, but I think it could be something amazing.”

I smiled, my heart full of hope and excitement. “I’d like that, Ethan. I’d like that a lot.”

As he pulled me into a gentle embrace, I realized that sometimes, the most unexpected connections can be the most beautiful. Despite our differences, or maybe because of them, we were falling for each other, and I couldn’t wait to see where this journey would take us.

[babygorewhore]

Safety

Rafe Cameron x fem reader

After a night of horrors with your ex-boyfriend, Sarah finds you pregnant, beaten and bruised on the street. She takes you to Rafe, someone you used to have a crush on in high school and he swears to protect you and your baby girl. W.C almost 3k

Hiiiiii so I NEVER thought in a million years I’d write pregnancy but I was heavily inspired by the movie The Invisible Man! And this is also in honor of my princess, @oceandriveab who has officially made me obsessed with Dad!Rafe. I hope you love baby!!! Dividers by @xxbimbobunnyxx I’m also very nervous because I’ve never had a baby but I have been in an abusive relationship so I hope you find comfort!

Warnings! Reader’s ex boyfriend is abusive! Talks of abuse! Reader is briefly attacked by him! Brief violence! Fingering! Choking! Unprotected sex! Non graphic description of childbirth! Daddy kink! Angst! Hurt comfort! Happy ending!!

You sat on the concrete sidewalk, trembling as rain trickled on your body as you hugged your middle. Your baby shifted around in your stomach, recently finding out the gender a few weeks ago. It was a girl. You named her Jennifer after one of your favorite movies. “I won’t go back, baby…” you whispered to your rounded belly and started crying.

A voice called your name, getting your attention and you saw Sarah Cameron rushing towards you with concern in her dark eyes. “Hey, are you okay? What are you doing out here alone?” She gasped when she finally took in your appearance as you shifted on the ground.

Your clothes torn, bruises on your face, arms and even your stomach. “Oh god..did he-did your boyfriend do this to you?” You didn’t respond and she wrapped your arm around her shoulder. She helped you stand. “Here. Come on. I’ll take you to Rafe’s house.”

His name caught your attention as she helped you in the passenger seat. “Rafe? What about your house?”

“You know my brother. He’s always had a soft spot for you. You’ll be safe there. No arguments.” She sternly told you and you didn’t have the energy to argue.

You used to babysit Sarah and Wheezie while you were in school. You were over at their house all the time and you didn’t complain considering your crush on her older brother Rafe. But he was always too busy partying to notice you at the time and eventually you met your current boyfriend Jake.

It was the worst mistake of your life.

You arrived at Rafe’s large house, wincing as Sarah tried to help you out of the car but you tearfully spoke, “I can’t move.”

“Wait here. Don’t worry,” she rushed inside and you felt pangs of heartbreak. Here you were, being rescued by someone you used to care for. seconds later, you saw Rafe rushing out with her, jogging towards the car. He was still wearing his work clothes, dampening from the rain.

“Hey, come on,” Without warning, he scooped you in his arms bridal style and carried you in the house. His warm, strong embrace soothed your chilled body as he maneuvered through his living room and set you on the couch.

“There you go…good girl,” he mumbled under his breath, his eyes roaming over your injuries and ripped clothes. His jaw tightened when he noticed the bruises, especially on your protruding stomach. You placed your hand over it, feeling your baby kick underneath your palm.

“What happened? What the fuck did he do to you?” His question brought on more tears and you buried your head in your hands, shoulders shaking.

You felt palms on your arms as you sobbed.

“Can you-get her some clothes or something? She’s fucking freezing!” Rafe fussed at Sarah and gestured with his hand rapidly. “Get something of mine!”

“Um why don’t you do it?” Sarah hissed and Rafe gave her a death glare. “Fine.” She walked off as he gently tugged your hands off your face.

“I never liked that guy. Knew he was up to trouble and now he put his hands on you?” His blue gaze was murderous as he stared at your stomach.

“I didn’t think-I didn’t think he’d hurt her. I didn’t think he’d go that far.” You breathed rapidly and shrieked as thunder clapped across the sky, the loud sound reminded you of your boyfriend’s voice.

Time passed and you sat at the table with Sarah and Rafe. You wore one of his shirts, after taking a warm shower. It was loose around your torso and comfortable around your middle. Sarah also fixed you something to eat, anything to satisfy your needs considering Rafe’s clean diet.

Your hair was lightly damp, braided from Sarah’s nimble fingers and you stared off in the distance as they both watched you. Waiting for you to speak. But Rafe grew impatient.

“When I find him, I’ll kill him.” He said simply and you flinched. “You don’t have to worry about anything. You can stay here. Are you in pain? Are you-fuck I don’t know any pregnant girls-do you-“

“I didn’t know he switched my birth control pills.” You whispered, making Rafe’s mouth close. “I had been taking them secretly. He was obsessed with…trapping me with a baby. He figured I’d never be able to leave then. Jake controlled everything. What I did. What I said and eventually, she happened.” You look down at your stomach. “But if he didn’t like what I did, he would…” you trailed off.

“Hit you?” Sarah answered softly and you grimaced.

“Among other things.” Rafe stood out of his chair, making your head snap in his direction and he started to pace. “I ran from him this morning. He went crazy last night. I thought he wouldn’t stop. I didn’t know what he’d do and I couldn’t let him hurt her again.”

“He won’t.” Rafe growled. “No one is going to hurt you. Ever again. I’ll make sure of it. I’m seconds away from-“ He was breathing heavily but he seemed to swallow back his rage enough to calm down at the sight of your discomfort.

“Let’s get you to bed.” He doesn’t give you the option and he lifts you into his arms. Your feet dangle as he carries you up the stairs to his spare room.

Instead of setting you down, Rafe lays your body on the bed and adjusts the blankets over you. His hands ghosting over your stomach before he pulls them away. “If you need anything-yell for me-I’m right down the hall.” You nod silently and he hesitates, trying to search for something to say.

“He won’t hurt you again. I won’t let him.” He turns but you have a surge of emotions and grab his arm.

“Rafe. Will you stay with me? Just for tonight. Please, when I sleep alone-I dream about him and I can feel his fists on me,” Without a second thought, Rafe climbs into bed with you and his taller body tucks himself next to yours.

You didn’t speak but your eyes drifted closed. Exhaustion taking over your body and your head moved to rest on his shoulder. He stiffened briefly before his arm wrapped around you, hand cupping your waist.

Rafe helped you-well insisted that you tell the police about your ex-boyfriend. And you did, even gaining a restraining order. It was vital you did that for another important reason the longer you stayed away from him. A month in a half had passed, in the state of your pregnancy, you needed regular doctor appointments. Rafe also was insistent on you seeing the best in the city and he took you to all of them.

But for the most part, you hid away in the bedroom. Shame, guilt and terror keeping you a prisoner. Rafe hadn’t slept next with you since that first night even though you desperately craved it. Everything was a mess.

You were tired of being in here though. You missed your old self. Rafe did so much for you and you wanted somehow to repay him. You had an idea, you could cook something for him. A nice meal when he gets home from work. Straightening your back, you managed to walk down the stairs and to the kitchen.

As you fixed something to eat, you were then startled fifteen minutes later by a knock on the door. You assumed it was one of his sisters, the only two who knew you were there but you couldn’t have been more wrong when you opened the entrance.

It was Jake.

The dark look in his eye sent chills down your spine and you tried to slam the door shut but his strength easily overpowered yours. “It’s time to come home,” He whispers lowly and you shake your head.

“Never. Get out!” You screamed and tried to run but he reached for your hair. Yanking you back as you struggled, trying to grab whatever you could and stabilize yourself.

“You will never get away from me. You shouldn’t have run away like a fucking coward!” He bellowed and you clawed at him.

The attack was short lived as you felt his grip yanked off and you crumbled to the floor. You twisted to see Rafe slamming your ex to the wall, his fist pummeling into his face repeatedly. His expression was morphed into blind rage as your ex’s eyes, nose and mouth bled. You finally croaked, “Rafe! Stop!” He didn’t and you said it again louder, getting his attention.

He jerked his head towards you, nostrils flared from seeing your body on the ground. “Call the police.” He ordered and you pulled out your phone but you could still hear his threat as you called.

“If you ever mess with my girls again, I will fucking kill you. She and the baby belong here. With me. if I ever THINK I see you, I will kill you. Do you understand? You touch her and you fucking die.” You trembled as you waited for the police to arrive as Rafe held him down.

After his arrest and his removal from the home, you rushed towards Rafe, wrapping your arms around his waist. “I’m sorry-I had no idea he’d just show up. I was so scared this would happen-“ He quickly places a finger against your lips, stopping your tangent.

“Are you okay? Is the baby okay?” His hand drifted down but he stopped himself. He always did and this time you encouraged his hand to press against your belly.

He sharply inhaled as Jennifer kicked and you smiled. “She likes you,” You told him, your anxiety lessening as the moment went on.

“Did you really name her after Jennifer’s body?” Rafe asked, a playful tone in contrast to the earlier violence.

“It’s my favorite movie,” You laughed loudly. Rafe lowered his head.

“I like that sound. Haven’t heard it in a really long time.” His lips brushed against your forehead and you leaned into his touch.

“I thought he was going to kill me one day, Rafe. He’s gotten so close and when I saw him I was so scared.”

Rafe’s large hands cupped your face and he looked you directly in your watery eyes. “Listen to me, baby. I promised you he would never hurt you again and I meant it. I know he fucked you up but you don’t have to be scared here. You’re both safe with me. As long as you want.”

“I tried to cook for you and he showed up. I just wanted to do something nice for you,” You shrugged and looked away but he wasn’t having that.

“Stop. Stop worrying. It’s not good for you or the baby.” You smiled again and you leaned up, meaning to kiss his cheek but Rafe met your lips with his instead.

His deep kiss poured all his emotions, something he didn’t express with words and you met his pace with your hands cupping his sharp jawline. It had been so long since you’d genuinely kissed someone you cared about and you melted into his chest. Rafe’s hands dipped to pick you up, backing you both up to the living room where he had set up body pillows on the couch for you.

Your hands hold his neck as his feverish kiss consumes you, your back presses against the cushion as he hovers above you. Rafe pants and looks down at you with desperate eyes. “Princess-fuck I want you so bad but I don’t-“ You shake your head and pull him back down, sucking his bottom lip your legs separating as your panties dampen.

“I won’t hurt you?” He mumbles against your lips and you smile.

“No, baby. Never.” You promise him as he nods and peppers kisses on your neck, sucking the skin between the crook of your collarbone and shoulder.

His hands drift and he massages your swollen tits. “I fuckin love these, baby doll. You’re so pretty, making me hard all the time. Had to always take care of myself when I was alone.”

“Me too.” You whine and arch your back when he pulls down your shirt, circling his tongue around your nipple before sucking it.

“Yeah? You played with your wet pussy thinking about me, princess?” He mumbles against your chest and pays attention to the left one.

“Mhm, all the time. I wanted you to fuck me-“You confess and moan as he nips your sensitive tits.

“That’s my girl. But you’ll never have to go without again. You can fuck me whenever you want, suck me in with that pretty pussy.” Rafe pulls off your comfortable skirt and underwear, the soaked material tossed to the side as his thick fingers massage your clit. “You’re so wet for me, doll. Is this what you needed? Your mind emptied?”

You gasp and grip his shoulders as he slips two fingers inside you, curling them deep as the back of his hand continues bumping your clit. “Don’t tease me-please-“

Rafe can’t resist your pleas as he yanks off his belt, pants and shoves his boxers down. His cock slaps against his thigh as he pumps himself a few times, he brings your legs over his shoulders and slides in. “Fuckkk, you’re so fuckin tight, princess. I’m gonna plug you up with my cum, daddy’s gonna make you scream.”

You throw your head back as he pounds into you, the couch moves and your peak rises. A month of build up tension making you burst as you shriek as Rafe presses your legs even higher. Reaching a deeper spot in your cunt as you cream on his dick, his hand wraps around your neck as he fucks you through it.

“You look so pretty when you cum on my cock, princess. Never gonna let you go,” He groans and releases in you, his cum drips down his balls and pours from your cunt. You hiccup as he lets go of your throat, eyes fluttering as he continues to rock his hips.

Rafe moves your legs off his shoulders, pressing your knees together. “Not gonna let one drop escape. You are all mine, baby girl.”

You manage to let out a breathy, “Yes, daddy.” As a slight twinge of discomfort causes your back to ache, he sees it in your face and quickly adjusts himself. “You okay? Need me to help you?”

“Sorry, Rafe. I think she’s unhappy with me right now,” You laugh a little as he pulls his underwear back up and moves the pillow under your back. “That’s better,” You begin and your words leave you as Rafe dips down and presses a gentle kiss to your stomach.

“Can I talk to her?” You nod with wide eyes. Rafe clears his throat, his hands cupping your round belly.

“Uh, hey there. I know I’m not technically your father but I just want you to know that…I’m gonna take care of you and your mommy. Gonna fight all the bad guys, okay? I’m gonna be a better dad than my old man was.” His promise brings tears to your eyes and he leans up to cup your cheeks.

“I mean every fuckin word, baby. You never have to worry about that again.” You wrap your bare arms around him, your belly a slight barrier but he holds you tightly against him.

The last trimester of your pregnancy was decent with a few brutal moments. Your little girl growing in you made you feel constantly exhausted so you slept almost all the time. Rafe catered to your limits, taking it upon himself to create a temporary sleeping area in the living room because you couldn’t tolerate going upstairs. Your ex boyfriend was going to be in jail for a long time, bringing you a lot of relief enough to let you finally leave the house to go with Rafe. He went crazy with the baby supplies, going overboard but you loved his dedication.

He was also fiercely protective. He was willing to smack hands off your stomach if they weren’t wanted, or bark orders if you were feeling sick. Rafe loved reading to your daughter every night while you drifted asleep. He kept photos of the sonograms in his wallet and on his desk at work. And when your water broke, a week after your due date, he nearly panicked as he rushed you to the hospital.

While you were in labor, he was a little concerned you would snap the bones in his hands as you wailed and screamed. “I can’t do this!” You wept, sweat pooling down your face. “I swear to god, I’m never doing this again!” You yelled at him while you pushed.

“I know, baby but you can do it. She’s almost here, come on. You’re my strong girl, come on.” He coached and you squeezed his hand harder.

“If you ever get me pregnant-if I ever go through this again, I swear!” You promised in the middle of your agony before pushing harder and then the relief was immediate.

Your daughter was crying and then you both sobbed. The nurses placed her in your arms as you were speechless. She was perfect. Better than you could ever dream of. Rafe couldn’t hold it together as he was pressed against you. “That’s our girl…”You said in complete awe.

You extended her to Rafe and he cradled her gently, stroking her cheek. “Hi baby…I’m-“He choked on his words. “I’m your dad.”

It wasn’t a perfect story. It had a horrible beginning and you’d never be able to erase the memories of your past. But seeing Rafe with your child? You knew it was all worth it.

Tagging @marchsfreakshow @drewstarkeyslut @rafescurtainbangz @rafesthroatbaby @gri959 @voyeurmunson @starkeysprincess @rafeinterlude @redhead1180 @slvt4jamesmarch

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Wasteland, Baby

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

WC: 3.4k

TW: Mentions of Murders, mentions of suicide, discussion of suicide, trauma, emotional turmoil, death, arguing, abandonment issues, commitment issues, Angst, some fluff

A/N: Thanks for bearing with me as I try to get off the struggle bus y'all. here is the highly anticipated part 2 of Stick Season !

All the fear and the fire of the end of the world Happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl Happens great, happens sweet Happily, I'm unfazed here, too

It had been three years since you left the BAU and you had just turned down a job at the FBI from Erin Strauss. You never heard from her again. 

But you did attend her funeral in D.C a week later.

You didn’t alert any of the BAU that you were returning for her funeral, since you could only imagine the pain they were feeling. 

The plane ride was filled with thoughts of what life would have been like if you had rejoined the FBI. Maybe she wouldn't have died. Maybe she’d still be calling you and sending you email after email with job offers. 

You had quickly stopped by the wake, the day before, to pay your respects, and give Strauss’ family your deepest condolences. It was painful, seeing someone you spoke to last week, stiff, lifeless, in a coffin where they will be for the rest of time. 

But the worst part was the burial. 

Blending in at a funeral has never been a strong suit of the BAU’s, except for you. You were calm, respectful, and blended in with the rest of the spectators. 

Until you looked across the circle and saw Aaron Hotchner looking directly at you. Whatever he had been feeling before, was quickly wiped away when you looked back at him, confirming his suspicions that you were here, in the graveyard. The look on his face was replaced with a more somber one as he redirected his attention back to the priest, but you knew you would be unable to just leave now that you had been spotted. 

Once she had been lowered into the ground, Hotch made his way towards you, catching his colleges interested. Where was he going? Who was he looking for?

“Y/n.” 

You smiled at him. It didn’t reach your eyes, but it wasn;t fake either. 

“It’s good to see you Hotch.” 

“I didn’t know you were going to be here today.” 

You nodded and looked over as the rest of the people migrated towards their cars to go to the reception afterwards. “I didn’t make it public information, considering I was planning on leaving after the ceremony. I’m just here to pay my respects Hotch.” 

“She called you.” 

“Yes she did.” 

“And she said you turned it down.” 

“I did.”

“Why.” 

“Hotch, please.” 

He took your elbow and pulled you away from the people, giving the two of you some semblance of privacy. 

“Will you at least think about it?” 

“What is there to think about Hotch? I don’t want to—” 

“I wish you wouldn’t lie to me. I know you miss it Y/n. I’m not just some colleague, and you know that.” 

You closed your eyes and pinched your brow. You knew coming to this funeral was a mistake. But some part of you, one that you had silenced for a very long time, was starting to break through. 

“We can talk later.” 

Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you

“I cannot believe you’re going back.” 

You sighed and continued to pack up everything you owned into boxes. You had only broken down the ones from a few years ago–that same part of you had saved them for whenever you had recognized you were ready to be back in Washington D.C. 

“Don’t ignore me. I thought you were done with hunting bad guys and certain doctors with glasses.” 

You slammed your hands on the table, causing Lucille to jump. 

“Sorry.” You muttered and slowly sunk to the ground, deciding it was just easier to sit on the ground and have a breakdown rather than talk it out. 

“I’m not going back for him…I’m going back for me. This…” You ran a hand through your hair. “This is n’t what I was meant to do, Luce. I’m not a teacher. I’m okay at it, but…I was meant to be in the field. Teaching is challenging, but not in the way I need. And fuck, I love my kids, you know that I do, but it’s just…”

“It’s not who you are.” She came and sat down next to you, taking your hand in hers. “I’m gonna miss you asshole.” 

You rested your head on her shoulder and squeezed her hand. “I’m going to miss you so much.” You whispered back to her. 

“You have to visit me. I’ll get lonely up here.” 

A smile spread across your face as a tear slowly tracked down your cheek. “ You have my permission to hunt me down and beat the shit out of me if I don’t.” 

“Oh don’t worry, I will.” 

All the things yet to come are the things that have passed Like the holding of hands, like the breaking of glass Like the bonfire that burns That all words in the fight fell to

Your desk stayed pretty empty for the first two weeks you were back—like you were terrified that if you got too comfortable, life would pull the rug right out from under you again and you’d have to leave. 

It was Garcia who first noticed this, watching as you’d pack everything up into your tote bag each night before you would go home. She didn’t say anything about it though, since you were not the same girl the BAU had grown to know. 

You were different, quieter. You spoke when you had something to add, or to correct somebody, but you never participated in the banter; you never stayed longer than absolutely necessary. If the group had decided to surprise you at your new apartment, they would find it covered in boxes—walls bare, fridge almost empty, only essentials like clothes and toothbrush unpacked. 

But you had never been better. Hotch had you start consulting side cases when you came back, a way to get you used to the routine of being back in the office, back in the FBI. You would consult up to three new cases a day, still helping with those that would call back a day or week later for updates or more help. They watched as you easily solved things in minutes, that might have taken the team hours. 

The first time Morgan called you ‘Girl Genius’ to your face, you punched him in the arm (admittedly a bit harshly). But he wasn’t wrong. You could feel the continuous excitement flowing through your veins; your muscles flexing as you settled back into the thing you were the best at. 

You were different, but better. 

Spencer noticed this too. He watched as you confidently answered every question thrown at you. He watched as you consulted on cases and noticed patterns he had missed. 

Spencer had missed you, badly. He knew he fucked up when he had left that night, needed to go and he spend the night away, thinking about his life; his future. Panic had flooded his body at the thought of you being the one forced to take care of him, forced to deal with his shit history and addictive personality and his annoying ass rambles. He didn’t want to subject you to that. 

But then he remembered the look on your face—the pure excitement and adoration at the thought of being able to spend every single minute of your life calling him yours. And once the panic had subsided, he felt that same joy. 

When he got back to the house, you weren’t there. 

You weren’t at work either. 

You had just vanished, and about a day later, all of your things had disappeared too. 

And Spencer was a fucking wreck. He was useless at work, and he spent so much time trying to find you, but Penelope wasn’t able to find a thing, and by the time she did, it had been months later, and you clearly didn’t want to be found. 

Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you

It didn’t help that seeing you again in Vermont made him want to melt on the spot. A great deal of relief washed over him, seeing you were alive and in front of him. But then he felt the anger rise in him. You had abandoned him, you had just disappeared without a second thought. 

Then he remembered the look on your face when he panicked about marrying you.

You had thought he didn’t want to marry you. 

You had no idea that he felt like he was the the problem, and if he told you know, it would just sound like a fucking excuse. 

Watching you walk back into the bullpen and set up at your desk was another slap in the face. It feels like nobody tells him anything, because they don’t. But then he realized that only Hotch knew about it because everyone froze on the spot seeing you sitting at your desk, working. 

At his desk, he would just watch you. On the plane, he would watch you. And he tried so hard to be nonchalant about it, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Your hair, your legs, your arms, your lips—he wanted to take your hand and never let you go, fusing your skin together so he could be with you always. 

He was in love with you. And he thought you would rather die than be seen with him again. 

If only he knew that you felt the same way—you loved him right back. 

And that day that we'll watch the death of the sun To the cloud and the cold and those jeans you have on And you'll gaze unafraid as they sob from the city roofs

After about three months, infinite pining, a few longing glances passed to one another, and incessant whining from Derek Morgan, you and Spencer Reid found yourselves together at coffee one morning. 

After about a month later, you found yourself back in his apartment, lips grazing his, not being able to tell where his body ended and yours started. 

Then, the next day, he told you he loved you. 

He didn’t see you for a whole week afterwards. 

But when he walked into work that monday, and you were sitting at your desk, completely unbothered, he took it upon himself to make you talk to him. 

No one else was around, except for Hotch. But his office door was closed, and Morgan wouldn’t be around for another ten minutes anyways. 

“Where the fuck have you been?” 

You turned around in your chair and glared at him. “Excuse me?” 

“You disappeared for a week, no word about where you were going, not even telling me you were leaving.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Not now Spence.” 

“I love you.” 

“What?” 

“I still love you.” 

Your jaw dropped. “Spencer…” 

“I’m dead serious Y/n. When you weren’t here after you spent the night, I lost my fucking mind. I thought I had lost you—again. And I wasn’t about to go through that again. I had fucked up once before and I—I thought you had realized you didn’t want to be with me anymore and you had left again.” 

You were silent as he rambled on. 

“When you left three years ago, I lost my fucking mind. I sat here, staring at your desk hoping you would materialize out of thin air just so that I could apologize to you. And then when you didn’t show up, I begged Penelope to tell me where you had run off to, so I could go and find you and beg for you to listen to me while I got on my hands and knees to beg for your forgiveness. You thought I didn’t want to marry you, but I was terrified because I thought you wouldn’t want to marry me. I mean I had just gotten sober, and I thought we were doing so well and then you brought up marriage and all I could think about was how it was another way for you to find out how much you could hate me and get sick of me since—” 

You had finally snapped out the shock you were feeling and placed your hand over his mouth. “Breathe.” 

Spencer shoved your hand off his mouth, but stayed silent, taking an over exaggerated breath to prove to you he did. 

“We can talk about this later.” 

“No.” Spencer shook his head. “We’re going to talk about this now. I want to talk about this now.” 

“Spencer…” 

“How do I know that you’re not going to just pack up and disappear again.” 

“Spencer seriously? I don’t—-”

“You don’t do that? Because we both know you do. You’ve done it twice now.”

“What do you want me to say Spence?” 

“That you still love me.” His voice was low, but his eyes were locked in on yours. “I need to know if you still love me.” 

Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you

The Next Week

Another Day, Another Psychopath Killer. 

Another way for you to throw yourself into the line of fire because you have always had a soft spot for teenagers. 

Someone was targeting suicidal teens, convincing them to end their own lives, merely making him complicit in their deaths. It had sent you (and JJ) reeling. Both of you had lost someone to suicide, and watching as this person preyed on vulnerable kids who deserved to live and be loved took a lot out of the both of you. 

You had a bad feeling about this case when it was first passed onto your desk, but it just got worse and worse as the week went on. If only you had figured out who it was sooner, you might have been able to save this one girl’s life. But sometimes life refuses to relent. 

The jet was silent on the way back, none of you wanting to speak and break the silence. 

Spencer sat next to you on the couch, offering a comforting presence, and nothing else. He knew you (and it bugged the shit out of you). Years of being with one another meant that he knew when you were upset, and he knew that you despised being touched while you were like this, but you hated being alone. 

It bugged you so much, but you weren’t going to say a damn thing because having him next to you while you sat and listened to your music and spiraled was exactly what you needed. 

He only offered his hand when the plane hit some turbulence, and your entire body began to shake unconsciously. It was between the two of you, and all he did was flip it, so the palm was upwards. It was an invitation that you could immediately ignore and refuse if you wanted to. 

But something in you caused your hand to drop next to his and lace your fingers through his. 

God was it so fucking warm, and soft. You wondered if he still used the lotion you had recommended to him all those years ago when he would complain to you about his hands being “gross” and “too dry”. He absolutely did. 

He managed to hide his smile when you took his hand, but he did give yours a soft squeeze, and continued to read his book, pretending that his insides weren’t aflame and his mind was anywhere but on the words in front of him. 

He didn’t turn a page for over four minutes once your hand was in his. 

And I love too that love soon might end Be known in its aching Shown in the shaking Lately of my wasteland, baby Be still, my indelible friend, you are unbreaking Though quaking, though crazy That's wasteland, baby

That Night

“Thank you.” 

It was the first thing you had said in over five hours, including the plane ride. Once the plane had landed, you and Spencer went back to his apartment, and the two of you had sat in his living room, in silence. He didn’t mind, as long as he could keep an eye on you. 

Your mind was far far away. It was back in college. Thinking about your friend and about the life you could have lived if she was still with you. 

Spencer had left a cup of tea next to you, your favorite, and sat on the couch. You were situated in the chair by the window, staring out into the night, watching as the rain drops raced down the window and as the lights blurred together. 

He was close enough to provide you with some comfort, but far enough away to let you have whatever space you needed.

“Spence?” 

He snapped out of his head, looking towards you. Your eyes were tired, and your body reflected the same type of exhaustion. 

“Sorry. What do you need?” 

“I—.” You interrupted yourself with a yawn, cursing under your breath. “Shit sorry. I should probably go..” 

“It’s okay if you stay.” 

You looked out the window then back at him. 

“I’m not just saying that to get you into my bed—oh my god that came out wrong, I just mean I don’t want you out in that weather and I don’t really like the idea of you being alone tonight, especially after this case because—” 

“Spencer.” 

“---yeah?” 

“I’ll stay.” 

“O-oh. Good. good…” He nodded. “I can uh, take the couch and you can have the bed.” 

You rolled your eyes and smiled slightl;y. “You’re a gentleman, Doctor Reid, but I’m not kicking you out of your bed.” 

“But I—”

“Spence.” 

He huffed, crossing his arms as you just laughed softly to yourself, amused. 

“Why don’t we both go get ready. Together.” 

“Together?” 

You nodded. “Yeah Spence.” 

“Okay.” 

Spencer stood up, and offered his hand to you. 

And for the second time today, you took it. 

When the stench of the sea and the absence of green Are the death of all things that are seen and unseen Are an end but the start of all things that are left to do

And maybe the two of you would never be together ever again. Maybe you would. 

But something about the way Spencer would make your favorite tea, 

or the way he would save you the crossword puzzle on his morning newspaper since he knew how much you loved to solve as much as you could without his help, 

or when he would leave you notes on your desk, making you feel like a giddy high schooler all over again, or when he felt like a good start to something new

or when he would kiss you good morning and good night, promising you he’d be there whenever you woke up

or when he slowly got rid of things in his apartment to create space for your things as you moved in slowly 

or whenever a case was particularly rough for the both of you and he wouldn’t pester you to talk to him about it, instead offering his hand for you to take, and squeezing it, letting you know he was there for you

or the way he would take you on small vacations up to Vermont so you could go see all of your friends and escape from the world of the FBI

or the way he would never storm out of the apartment after an argument, but still give you the space you needed so you could both decompress without getting at each other's throats

or when he whispered every thing he would do for you for the rest of your lives so help him god when he thought you were asleep in his arms

or how he would whispered ‘I love you’ to you as you passed by while you both were working

or when he would never let you run off in the middle of the night because you would panic about whether or not this was all a dream, and one day he would wake up and not love you anymore

or when he got down on one knee and proclaimed his undying love for you, hoping you’d promised to love him forever in the same way he loved you, wanting to be with you, wanting to be near you always

made you feel like everything might be okay after all. 

Wasteland, baby I'm in love, I'm in love with you

[augustvandyne]

Hi I wanted to ask if you would write a Lucy Chen imagine. Where the reader is also a police officer and gets hurt badly, so Lucy is very worried. Just fluff with a bit of angst.

Thank you very much.

ofc ofc ofc!

backup

Lucy could tell it was going to be bad by the shake of your voice on the radio. You’d shakily asked for backup, but it was too late.

You and Lucy hadn’t been riding together that day, and that was the worst decision Sergeant Grey had ever made.

You were assigned to a shop with yourself, while Lucy was with Tim.

She didn’t understand. She’d seen you twenty minutes ago, tops. But from there the two of you had went separate ways.

Her voice broke, “Tim,” as soon as your voice had disappeared, and with one look at the woman, he stepped on the gas.

Tim gave her the spiel, if she wasn’t able to handle it, she’d have to step aside until you were safely transported to the hospital, where Tim would take her right after this, along with the rest of the station.

To say the way you looked was bad, was an understatement. The sight of you had everyone speechless, even Nyla.

“Conscious, but unresponsive,” Nolan is able to get out over the lump in his throat.

The man you were obviously up against looked worse than you, if that’s even possible. He took a shot to the chest, and was DOA.

You, on the other hand, had taken several shots and several cuts. There were bruises starting to form along your body and blood pouring out of your cuts.

Bailey has to keep her tears from falling as she and her team load you onto a stretcher.

Lucy stands by the side the whole time, trying to keep her tears at bay, but she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t let a few slip.

Tim and the rest of the team escorted you to the hospital, following behind the ambulance that was going more than a few miles over the speed limit.

By the time Lucy had gotten to the hospital her face was red from rubbing her tears away and her hair was messy from her running her hands through it.

She’s out of the car and by your side before it’s even in park.

“Oh, my god,” Lucy can’t even look at you. She knows it isn’t her fault, but she can’t help but blame herself. She had a bad feeling the whole twenty minutes since she’d saw you, and she should’ve known. “Y/n, you’re gonna be okay. I’m gonna be here the whole time, okay? I’m not leaving until you’re sick of me.”

The nurses push you through, an O.R. already ready for you, as you are a loved face all over LA—the station, the community center, the hospital.

When the doors close, and Lucy can no longer follow, Tim is there to bring her into a tight hug.

He needed it just as bad as she did.

Lucy quite literally breaks down it his arms, and Tim isn’t sure what to do, so he just stays standing there with a broken Lucy in his arms until the rest of the team found the two of them.

The group went around hugging Lucy, which was greatly appreciated by her because she needed it, and that’s why everyone embraced her.

The two of you were at the height of your relationship, and so she was more in love with you than ever.

She was going to marry you, and she knew it, so she couldn’t let you die now.

Sergeant Grey granted Lucy a few days off to get you back up and on your feet, which she gratefully took.

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

By the time your surgery was done, not a single person had left the hospital.

Tim had tried to get Lucy to go to the cafeteria to eat with him, and to get her to go home to get some things for you and herself, but she wouldn’t even budge.

Nyla had brought her at least two cups of coffee, but Lucy had just let them sit. She was still in shock.

Tim sat on Lucy’s right, while Nyla sat on her left.

Those three were the three most important people in your life.

Lucy was the love of your life. The reason you kept going. You’d attended the academy together, but you were a year behind her, so she’d never really spoken to you. Maybe once or twice at the bar, but that was it.

Tim was your best friend. Any problems you had, you took right to him. On your off days, he’d take you to your favorite food truck and did whatever he could to cheer you up, because when you were sad, there was no light in any room.

Then there was Nyla. Your T.O., mentor, teacher, whatever you wanted to call her. She would never admit it, but you were her favorite. You’d won her over in the first week, and that was a Nyla Harper record.

So here were your three favorite people, all praying you’d make it through this surgery, and then make it through the night.

The nurse that comes out happens to be friends with Tim, so he is able to sweet talk her into letting the three of them come see you in the ICU.

Even though you aren’t awake, Lucy, Tim, and Nyla want to see that you are okay and breathing.

You looked better.

The cuts had bandages over them, and most of the dirt on your face had been washed off.

You’d only taken two actual shots to your body—your ankle and your shoulder. Any other shots had been caught by the vest. That was evident from the bruises formed on your chest.

One of your legs had been cut up pretty badly, and it had stitches. Lucy knew you’d be self conscious over the big gash that ran horizontal on your thigh.

Nyla lets out a loud sigh, her hands on her lower back as she stares at the ceiling to keep the tears from falling.

“Where was her goddamn backup?” Nyla lowers her guard for a second when a tear falls down her face.

“Nolan was on his way,” Tim keeps his jaw clenched, his hands in his pockets to keep himself from doing something he’d regret. “He said he was responding. I don’t— I don’t know. He—“

Lucy stands in the corner next to Nyla, afraid to speak.

Seeing Tim and Nyla so distraught has Lucy’s tears come back. Her heart breaks and drops to the ground all over again, and it definitely doesn’t feel good.

“God, if I’d have drove faster, maybe—“

“Don’t blame yourself,” Nyla takes a seat in the chair by your side, holding one of your hands in hers. “Don’t blame anyone. It’s no one’s fault but the man who did this.”

“I had a bad feeling,” Lucy has to bite her lip to keep herself from breaking down again.

“Lucy—“

“No,” Lucy scoffs. “I should have known.”

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

Lucy is still asleep by the time you wake up. Nyla and Tim agreed to take turns staying with Lucy until you were discharged from the hospital. Which would be in a few days.

You had a bit of internal bleeding, so the doctors want to keep you for a few days to watch over you.

Tim is in the cafeteria grabbing some air and coffee. The two of you were asleep, so he figured he could have at least ten minutes to himself.

You wake Lucy when you’re reaching for the water, your throat was uncomfortably dry.

Lucy is immediately grabbing the cup and pitcher and pouring you water.

“Lucy—“

“Don’t talk,” Lucy feels her eyes watering again.

“Then don’t cry,” You whisper. You try to reach out and wipe her tears, but it pains you due to the shot in your arm. “I think my arms broken.”

Lucy laughs, glad to have some relief after those last agonizing hours without you.

“You were shot in the foot and shoulder. Your shoulder is broken, baby, but you’ll be okay. You have a large cut on your right thigh, too. I’ll take you to physical therapy, and you’ll be as good as new, okay? Grey gave me the next week or so off, but if you need more time with me, I will stay off longer. You’ll be back soon enough—“

It takes everything in you to lean forward and kiss Lucy.

“It’s okay, Luce,” You smile. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Lucy’s features soften.

“Lay with me,” You insist.

“Are you sure you won’t break another bone moving over?”

“Lay with me,” You say more aggressive this time so Lucy knows you aren’t kidding.

“Okay, fine,” Lucy fits in the spot you open up for her, despite the pain it caused to open it, it was totally worth it. “Now, let me tell you about how I saw Tim crying.”

Tim decides to come in at that moment.

“Oh— you’re awake,” Tim’s brows raise.

“Come and sit,” You turn your head towards him as he sits in the chair beside your bed. “Lucy was just about to tell me about how big and bad Timmy was spotted crying.”

Tim rolls his eyes but listens anyways.

[cheegu3]

Enhypen - the glory (part 11, finale)

summary; after rejecting one of the most popular boys at your new school, you soon realised that you'd done the gravest mistake of your life; these weren't ordinary boys, and now they were set on making your life a living hell - heavily based on the kdrama with the same name

warnings; yandere themes, kidnapping, domestic violence, sexual assault accusation,

genre; yandere

wc; 10k

pairing; enha x f.m reader

note; longer note at the very end, thank you so much for reading and going on this journey with me for my full-length series, love u !!🤍🤍

masterlist

You remained frozen in your spot until the car's sound slowly disappeared. What broke you out of your trance was the raspy, struggling breaths that came from the floor a few meters away.

It took a long time to unglue your shoes from the hardwood floor; it felt like you were stuck to it and would stay like that forever, unable to move out of fear. When you eventually succeeded, you turned bit by bit to face Jake.

His sluggish eyes had never left you. They were begging silently for you to make a choice - save him or leave him?

It seemed like he had already guessed what you would choose. More fresh tears slowly slid down his paling skin and his eyes finally looked away when he started sniffling again. 

You watched him, feeling very conflicted on the inside. You wondered if he felt bad for everything he had done, if he would change if you saved him, or if he would continue the same way as before.

There was also some fear on your part. Why were you hesitating about a life? It was your bully, but it was still another person like you. Playing God wasn’t something that was right, was it?

So why did you want him to die? All you saw when looking at the writhing, pathetic struggling human on the floor was Jake; you couldn’t see another person who deserved to be saved, who was empathetic and kind and sweet.

And that scared you. What would Soobin think of you if you told him that? He had already expressed how he thought you were changing. This wasn’t like you. The old you would’ve rushed to call an ambulance, heart drumming in your chest with adrenaline and panic at the thought of someone dying in front of you and knowing you could’ve changed the outcome.

But the new you? Didn’t feel much when looking at him except for very small pity. He hadn’t even betrayed his friends yet he would get killed by them - the ones he probably cherished and trusted most. The worst part was how Jungwon hadn’t even hesitated. Nothing was behind those eyes when he delivered a killing blow to his best friend of years.

Just like the tears running down Jake’s face, you were aware of time running out. Then, you made a choice.

You walked out just in time to see the ambulance near in the distance - technically you hadn’t saved him, but you gave him and God the choice of whether to survive the trip to the hospital…or not.

You refused to change into a heartless person. That wasn’t who you were no matter how much they’d hurt you.

*******

You had three days to think of something. Three days was a very long time in a case like this, but also not enough time.

Standing out in the cold you watched the ambulance leave and took out your phone. No taxis would come out to that place especially not at that hour. So you did the only thing you could think of - call your dad.

‘’ Y/n! Oh, I was so worried about you. ‘’

You scoffed, ‘’ Yeah, right. I need you to do me a favor, it’s the least you can do after going behind my back. ‘’

‘’ Okay…what do you want me to do? ‘’

‘’ Come get me. I’m at Soobin’s cabin which is about an hour or two from the city. I’ll text you the address. ‘’

You hung up before hearing his answer. Being curt and stern would probably make him more likely to do it since he could feel you keeping a distance and being cold. Maybe he thought you’d soften if he followed through, but he couldn’t be more wrong.

Waiting for your dad took too long, so you hesitantly turned back towards the cabin again. You wanted to go back, bask in the warmth, and maybe even rest since you had rejected sleep many times during the long day. However, the closer you got to the cabin, the more your brain started showing the scenes that would await you if you entered; the blood and the memories accompanying it.

Before you had even made up your mind, your feet seemed to have dragged you to the door on their own. Taking a deep breath first, you then pressed down the handle and pushed it open.

You didn’t step in yet and your eyes had been squeezed shut. It was between the cold winter outside and the potential murder scene inside.

You opened your eyes. Instinctively they went to the pool on the floor, but you forced yourself to look away. The door was now locked and you went to the second floor, too uncomfortable to sleep on the first since that’s where the events unfolded. 

Then you waited; tossed and turned while waiting both for your dad and for your body to fall asleep. It was hard. The house was eerily quiet, to the point you could hear every single creak the wood made when the wind grazed the cabin. 

Eventually, the exhaustion won over the paranoia. Your head fell back against the soft mattress and you slept soundly, looking more peaceful than when awake, and you continued to do so until your dad found you.

Just like when you were a kid, you were carried to the car. You woke up due to the sound of the rain pattering against the roof, but quickly fell asleep again with a smile on your face as you thought of how happy it would’ve made Soobin if he knew you finally got some rest.

*******

You woke up the next day feeling restless and antsy. You felt like you had no one to turn to and get support from or conjure up a plan with. Right then it looked like you’d spend the three days becoming more and more mentally tortured as the time was running out.

Then you’d probably show up at the doorstep, no plan or defense; you’d surrender and hope for the best - that they’d let you and most importantly Soobin go, unharmed. 

Slowly you rolled out of bed. Like always when getting dressed, you avoided looking in the mirror and if you did, you never let your eyes drift to the ugly scars. If you did, it was almost like it triggered the pain all over again. Your arms would start to itch terribly, and you could feel the burning spreading like wildfire all throughout your body again.

The door opened and since you had put on your clothes already, you dared to look at the door through the mirror. You saw your dad peeking in, an ingenuine smile on his face. Then you caught a glimpse of yourself too, you looked so tired and like you’d been drained of life and happiness. You supposed it was true, you couldn’t wait for it all to be over, for you to finally get peace again.

‘’ Going to school today? ‘’

You were about to glare at him, but then your frowned forehead softened. You had nothing better to do anyway, so why not go? Would they actually go to school when they were busy holding a hostage at one of their houses? You doubted it. They had never cared much about education anyway.

You grunted at him and when he left you packed your backpack full of the books you had neglected. When you’d get to school, you feared that the teachers would question you about why your grades had been falling and why you didn’t do your homework.

Aware of the fact that exams were coming up soon you had considered studying with Soobin. The circumstances just never seemed right. New things, new burdens always seemed to pop up, leaving little room for ordinary things.

You left, walking past your dad wordlessly, and then ran to the bus, almost missing it by a few seconds. The universe must’ve really wanted you to go to school today. The bus was pretty much empty. You took a seat near the back of it and rested against the window.

The whole ride, you had your eyes closed, in between sleeping and being awake all the way until arriving at school. Pushing past the other students you managed to be one of the first ones out. You hurried to walk to the school, up the stairs, and finally to the classroom. The less people, the less anxiety.

Only when you sat down in your seat could you relax. Soon enough the room filled as more students streamed in and took their own seats. The spot where they sat were empty. You looked out to the corridor and didn’t see them there either, but who you did see however was Jiyun. 

She didn’t return your wave or smile. She just continued walking, her head down so she couldn’t see you.

You grimaced and felt very offended. Sure, you hadn’t expected to make a friend, but you had at least thought she’d be polite. What was even weirder was that as you kept following her with your eyes through the glass facing the hallway, she turned quite abruptly and walked right into your classroom.

You cowered back, cautious of her unpredictable and almost erratic behavior. Walking right up to you, she looked determined. She leaned in and whispered in your ear.

‘’ Come with me to the library. ‘’

Jiyun saw how your eyebrows raised, forehead frowning when you weren’t immediately convinced, ‘’ Why? ‘’

‘’ Just, please. Do me a favor! ‘’

You stood up and followed her reluctantly out of the classroom and into the library that was on the same floor. It was empty because all the students were waiting for the first class to start. Jiyun found your hand at some point and dragged you through the maze of the bookshelves.

Stopping at the corner at the very far end from the entrance, she finally turned to you. Something flashed across her face; guilt, sadness or was it pity?

Your gaze started flickering, ‘’ Jiyun, what are we doing here? ‘’

‘’ I’m sorry. ‘’ 

You watched in confusion as she started unbuttoning the first buttons of her shirt, she threw the fabric off of half of her shoulder with so much force it almost ripped. Then she pulled out her ponytail but not all the way, followed by smearing some of her makeup.

‘’ Jiyun? ‘’ your voice grew more concerned, more exasperated.

No response. She picked up a book and you gasped as she hit it hard against her face. You tried to pull it out of her hands and were instead met with a slap to your face.

‘’ I have to do this. ‘’

‘’ What…’’

You ignored her and tried to reach for the book again that she had managed to hit herself with more times since you were distracted by the stinging feeling on your cheek. Fear could be felt in the pit of your stomach as things were slowly starting to get pieced together.

Red marks had formed on her face now, sure to be big bruises in a day or two. When she noticed you moving towards her in the corner of her eye, she gave you an apologetic look before kicking you hard in your stomach. You fell over and groaned, clutching your stomach and gasping for air. 

‘’ Stand up. ‘’

You managed to get to a standing position with the help of the closest bookshelves that you could claw yourself up with. She looked completely disheveled when you turned to her. You were about to ask again - why are we here, why are you doing this? 

Before you could, she had already turned again, heading right for the hallway. You started to follow her but were left frozen in your spot. A loud shriek ripped from Jiyun’s throat. She fell to her knees in the middle of the hall and sobbed loudly.

People ran out of the classrooms wondering what all the noise was about and quickly the space had been filled to max capacity. One girl crouched down next to her while a teacher cleared a way to get through.

‘’ What happened? ‘’

‘’ She-sh, she hurt me! ‘’

You stared at her in bewilderment, until it turned to despair and you felt a stomach-dropping feeling when with a shaky hand she pointed at you. All heads turned to you, but you only had eyes for Jiyun on the floor.

Betrayal…again? However, can you really betray someone if you never had any loyalty to them?

The panic flared up inside your body. You took a few steps back towards the people, eyes wide and filled to the brim with tears. 

‘’ Y/n? What did she do? ‘’ the teacher said behind your turned back.

‘’ She hit me….she al-always bullies me and sometimes she, ‘’ Jiyun faked a hiccup in the middle of her even faker crying, ‘’ She touches…’’ her voice died out and it had the dramatic effect she must’ve hoped for.

The crowd gasped and next they murmured about how they had noticed how her clothes looked like they’d been roughly handled. You didn’t look at any of them. You knew they had already collectively decided to condemn you and believe Jiyun instead.

‘’ Y/n, is this true? ‘’

Your throat felt dry, too dry to even speak. You tried clearing it, but it almost caused you to feel like you couldn’t breathe and kickstart a panic attack so you shook your head. First gently and then more violently, almost until you got dizzy. 

‘’ Come with me to my office, ‘’ she sternly said.

You felt her hand wrap around your arm in a tough hold. You were dragged past the people whose words hurt you almost physically as well as mentally. After hearing all that they said, you ended up in the chair in front of her desk with an expressionless look on your face.

You felt empty. There was barely any room for anger; it was more of an acceptance that had come after the initial horror. It was them. They were behind this 100%, and it was what Jiyun had warned you of in the bathroom. 

You scoffed sarcastically. You never would’ve done that to another student, even if it meant them going even harder on you, even if it meant more burn marks. She had sold herself easily.

‘’ Is this funny to you, y/n? ‘’

It wasn’t the fact that you had slipped up and forgotten where you were and what situation you were in. It was more that you had hit rock bottom, who gives a fuck attitude? 

‘’ I’m going to have to call your parents. And, ‘’ she slid a pile of papers across the desk. 

‘’ You will be suspended immediately. Leave your badge and all other belongings at the check-in area. ‘’

You threw your head back, ‘’ Of course. ‘’

‘’ Excuse me? ‘’

‘’ You won’t even let me defend myself. It’s just guilty until proven innocent, hm? ‘’

‘’ We have received more reports from other students claiming to have witnessed similar events, ‘’ the teacher irritably shot back.

‘’ And let me guess, their names are Jungwon, Heeseung, Ni-ki, Sunoo, Jake, Sunghoon, and Jay, right? ‘’

Even with your eyes closed, the lack of response was a response in itself. You smiled while looking at the ceiling and crossed your arms nonchalantly. 

‘’ Well fuck you guys then. This has always been a shit and unfair school who have done nothing when it came to defending me. But you’re always so eager to please these kids born with silver spoons in their mouths, fucking hypocrites. ‘’

The teacher gasped and you heard the others in the room stand up to see who the disrespectful student was. You turned and didn’t look back. You meant every word you said and you had waited so long to say it.

They wanted this to crush you and sure, it had made you finally lose it. But for the future, if you won the fight this was a blessing in disguise. 

*******

After coming home, your dad bothered you with a lot of questions which you ignored completely. The door was slammed in his face like usual and he stared at the wood with regret and shame again, wondering why his daughter refused to talk to him even though he was trying so hard.

That night, you slept well. You cried yourself to sleep, letting everything you had been keeping in for who knows how long, just get out. It felt like a huge burden had been taken off your shoulders, you felt lighter and slept like a baby.

The next morning, you had a plan in mind - to see your mom at the hospital and then Yeonjun. You technically had two more days left but since you didn’t have a school to go to anymore and Yeena was unreachable, these were the two things you wanted to do the most.

The staff at the hospital gave you dirty looks when you told them your name and said why you were there. Walking past some while taking the elevator, you caught a few words here and there. They seemed to judge you, calling you a bad daughter for not visiting when your mom had been there for so long.

You didn’t care. It was a private hospital that treated snobby, rude, and probably at some times undeserving rich people. It was no wonder the staff would be similar. With a head held high, you stepped into the elevator and flashed them a smile. They turned away and looked uncomfortable.

‘’ Your mom’s room is on the 16th floor. In the VIP section. ‘’ you saw in the mirrors on the walls how they looked you up and down.

‘’ Did you pay for this? ‘’

‘’ No. ‘’

They didn’t ask any more questions and just led you to the room, leaving afterward to give you some privacy. Your mom looked more vibrant than the last time you had seen her.

Sitting on her bed, she was looking out of the window at the beautiful view. Her cheeks looked less hollow like she had gained some weight and her skin looked less pale.

‘’ Hi, mom. ‘’

Her head whipped around and her face lit up, ‘’ Y/n! I’ve been waiting for you. ‘’

You sat down on her bed and let her pull you into her arms. She kissed the top of your head and rubbed your back as if you were the one who was sick.

‘’ How have you been, honey? ‘’

‘’ It’s okay. Not much has changed since last time. ‘’

She looked concerned and you felt bad for letting a frown form on her warm face so you leaned into her touch and smiled comfortingly.

‘’ It’s fine mom, I’m doing well. ‘’

‘’ And Soobin? ‘’

You hesitated, ‘’ What about him? ‘’

‘’ Is he doing well? Last time I saw you two, you were hiding from someone. ‘’

‘’ He’s…fine too. They weren’t anyone important mom, stop worrying. ‘’ 

She nodded and leaned back. Her eyes were still set on the horizon outside, the big skyscrapers outside accompanying it.

‘’ I like it here, ‘’ your mom sighed contently, ‘’ But I want to go outside with my daughter. ‘’

Your smile turned sorrowful. ‘’ One day. One day soon we will do that. ‘’

Only a half-smile pulled at the corners of her lips.

‘’ Do you really think so, honey? ‘’

‘’ Of course, ‘’ a tear rolled down your cheek.

‘’ I would take you to that park near our old house, the one you used to play so much in. Do you remember it? ‘’

The sheets ruffled as you angled your head to look at her. The light shining through the windows made her look so much like an angel, just like it; she beamed with hope, love, and warmth.

‘’ I do. ‘’

‘’ You didn’t have many friends so mommy always played with you ‘’ she looked at you when the fond memory came to mind, ‘’ But what did I always tell you? ‘’

‘’ There’s nothing wrong with being alone in this world, ‘’ you whispered thickly, holding back more tears from spilling.

Although it was a sweet memory for your mom. You had always suppressed it because it always reminded you of the grim future that followed that moment. Nothing changed. Ever since birth you had, had few by your side. Never did you fit in, never did you have genuine friends. Never understood, never loved.

You buried your face into your mom’s hospital gown. She hummed and put her arm around you to bring you closer. You stayed like that for a while, just relaxing under her wings. 

When it was time to go, you looked back at her one last time and promised to visit soon with Soobin by your side. You hoped that the next time you’d see her would be the day of her discharge.

*******

You knocked on the door before you changed your mind and turned around. The sound almost made the silence after seem even more deafening than before. No movement could be heard on the other side so slowly you turned, ready to leave disappointed.

‘’ Y/n, is that you? ‘’ a weak voice mumbled, stopping you in your tracks.

You stared back at the door in disbelief. It had been so quiet that you were questioning if you’d imagined it or not.

‘’ Yeonjun? ‘’

The lock clicked and the door creaked open. It revealed Yeonjun who looked like he’d been through hell. Not only did he have dark circles under his eyes, disheveled hair and was wearing the same clothes he was when you saw him last; but, you could also see all the trash in the back. It looked like he had purposefully ruined his room.

Papers, books, clothes, all laid crumpled up or torn on the floor, right next to the bags of snacks and cans of drinks.

‘’ How- ‘’ you licked your lips, unsure of what to say. ‘’ How…are you doing? ‘’

He chuckled sarcastically, ‘’ What does it look like? ‘’

You chewed on your lips.

‘’ I’m sorry. About everything, and I should’ve come to check up on you sooner. ‘’

Yeonjun stared at you for some seconds in silence. Then he nodded, a fake smile ghosting over his lips briefly before he went back to looking sullen.

‘’ How’s Soobin? ‘’

He must’ve noticed your hesitance because his eyes suddenly widened, looking a lot more interested and lively than earlier. 

‘’ Has he hurt him? ‘’

‘’ Jungwon? No, I don’t think so, ‘’ you truthfully said.

‘’ Then what? ‘’

‘’ Soobin brought me to your cabin. I- um…came up with the idea to bring Jake there, luring him and making him give us some information. ‘’

He crossed his arms, making you speak faster in nervousness. 

‘’ Well, things went wrong. Jungwon stabbed Jake- ‘’ his mouth opened and his eyebrows twitched. ‘’ Then they took Soobin when they left and told me they’ll give me three days. ‘’

‘’ Before what? ‘’

‘’ Not really sure. I think they were threatening to hurt Soobin. ‘’

His tongue poked the inside of his cheek and you cowered away, ready to get yelled at. Again, he stayed quiet. It was a bit different from the first time you’d met him when he was confident and replied rapidly and sharply. Now he seemed to need some time to think over what to say.

Or calm himself. You finally dared to look at him after he was silent for a few minutes and to your horror, you noticed his hands were shaking. 

‘’ Yeon- ‘’

‘’ None of this would’ve happened if you just listened to me from the beginning. ‘’

You didn’t raise your voice even if you felt like his harsh words were unfair. There was some truth to them. You could’ve still been friends with Soobin without dragging him into the mess. He nagged you about how little you were sleeping, while he himself looked tired all the time. Yet, his face would light up any time he saw you and he was ready to drop everything to help you.

You didn’t deserve him. Hot tears filled your eyes, making Yeonjun turn blurry. You turned your head away in shame, ‘’ I’ll get him back, ‘’ you mumbled before walking away.

He didn’t stop you. It seemed like you were alone in the fight again. It was then and there that you made the rash decision. Your feet moved on their own, bringing you to another doorstep.

You rang the doorbell and waited. It took some time for the door to be answered. A lot of noises came from the other side but around three minutes passed before someone actually opened it.

A familiar face greeted you, ‘’ You’re here already? ‘’

You nodded, not having any energy to smile and certainly no energy to hear any mocking. Thankfully it was Sunoo who opened the door, with a curious Ni-ki standing just a step away.

‘’ Are you…okay? ‘’ the taller male asked. ‘’ You don’t look so good. ‘’

You were swaying from foot to foot, deeply affected by the conversation with Yeonjun. Your eyes barely grazed over the two boys, they kept wandering aimlessly.

‘’ Will you let him go if I come in? ‘’

‘’ Yes, ‘’ Ni-ki hurried to press out before Sunoo answered.

He moved to the side and you walked in, again without looking back. Hands reached for your jacket and you let them take it off without a fight. One, or both of them put their arms around you, you think it was Ni-ki, while Sunoo held your hand instead.

They lead you through the familiar living room and kitchen, finally ending up in the garden. At the end of the garden, Sunghoon stood by some rose bushes. He raised his eyebrow when he spotted the three of you, a smile tugging at his lips.

‘’ It hasn’t even been three days. ‘’

‘’ I know, ‘’ you weakly said, ‘’ When can I see Soobin? ‘’

‘’ I will take you to him now. ‘’

He turned and Ni-ki and Sunoo let go of you. Instead, you followed Sunghoon who seemed to disappear into the bushes when he took a step forward. You blinked in confusion, not sure what to do. A small scream erupted from you when you were tugged forward by the arm.

On the other side of the bush was an entrance to a bunker. You looked at Sunghoon who gladly boasted, ‘’ We all have a bunker in our backyards, in case enemies come. ‘’

You hummed, obediently climbing down first when he opened it for you. Of course the rich would be saved first in case of an emergency. You scoffed scornfully under your breath. 

It was a very big bunker that looked fit for a family like Jungwon’s. The first section was a long hallway and it had different doors which you assumed were bedrooms for every family member and more.

Sunghoon led you through the tight hall into an opening in the middle before the hallways continued. It was a leisure room; beanbags, a pool table, a boxing machine, and even a TV with controllers that Heeseung and Jay were playing with were there.

Jungwon sat a bit away from the other two, on a beanbag in the corner pressed against the wall. He watched them but didn’t engage and because his seat was facing the entrance to the hallway, he was the first to notice you coming.

He looked surprised. His eyebrows raised and his mouth opened when he stood up, ‘’ It hasn’t been three days. ‘’ he echoed what Sunghoon had said.

‘’ I know. I didn’t have anything to do, ‘’ you shrugged casually.

He must’ve thought you were stupid. Heeseung and Jay looked over their shoulders to glance at you briefly and then turned back almost instantly to their game. Jungwon however, crossed his arms and tilted his head, a frown had formed on his face.

‘’ You had nothing to do? That’s it? ‘’

You nodded, determined to pretend like you weren’t about to faint from the fear. It was best to act like you were completely nonchalant and unfazed by what you had witnessed him doing not that long ago.

His frown turned into a joyous smirk, ‘’ Did you go to school? ‘’

‘’ Yes. ‘’

Your head turned when Heeseung chuckled darkly. He didn’t turn around so you all watched his back, waiting for him to say something.

‘’ And? Did you have fun? ‘’ he drawled.

‘’ Yes, ‘’ you said, this time a bit more hesitant.

‘’ Were you expelled? ‘’ Jay chimed in.

You didn’t answer this time, but judging by their shared looks and smiles on their faces, they knew.

‘’ I’ll show you where you will sleep. ‘’

‘’ Sleep? ‘’

You stared after Jungwon who walked down the other hallway. He didn’t stop and say anything, he only turned once he had reached the end and opened a door. You ran there because he looked very impatient.

It was a small room, about the size of a prison cell. It was cozier than one though, with a proper bed and a desk but it didn’t have much else in it. Covers and blankets were on the bed. The walls were blank and empty, void of any personality. 

‘’ Why do I get my own room? ‘’

Jungwon seemed amused, ‘’ I guess it will take some while to release Soobin. In the meantime, you’ll be here, with us. ‘’

‘’ No! That was not part of the plan at all, ‘’ your voice got louder.

‘’ Maybe not yours. ‘’

He started stalking towards you, making the only space that was furthest away from him the bed. You crawled back on it, all the way until your back hit the wall. Your hands tried to push him away and even claw at his exposed forearms.

He was still indifferent, only looking down at you after having crawled on top with a dissatisfied look on his face. That same look - like you were just a disobedient child.

He groaned when your foot temporarily had some room to move and you pulled your leg up to knee him in between his legs. It didn’t really have the effect you wanted it to. Instead of pulling away, he knew what you were trying to do and fell forward, putting all of his weight on you instead.

You huffed as you tried to lift him off of you to get away but it was impossible, he didn’t move an inch. Into the crook of your neck, you felt his hot breath on your skin as he laughed. It was followed by a clicking sound and something cold and tight around your wrists.

You moved them but they weren’t able to move very far, something clinked when you pulled them too far away. When Jungwon finally drew away from you and laid on the bed, you realized he had handcuffed you to the bed. 

‘’ Jungwon! Uncuff me now you- bitch! ‘’ you growled at him.

He gave you one final look of cockiness and amusement before turning his back on you and ignoring your screams and insults. You kicked against the blankets like a little child and screamed your throat hoarse. 

‘’ No, no! Don’t you dare leave me here! ‘’

The only response you got was the sound of the door closing and the key turning in the lock. It stilled you completely. You stopped fighting and relaxed, knowing that energy should be saved for later.

Staring at the ceiling now you began to regret your decision. It was too impulsive and not at all thought through. You hadn’t even considered that they might stop you from leaving. You sighed and closed your eyes, which made your thoughts redirect to Soobin. Why wouldn’t they just let him go? When you imagined him confined to a small room like this somewhere down there, you almost started to cry out of guilt. Whatever they’d ask of you to let Soobin go, you’d do it, without a doubt.

*******

Sometime after laying there and just daydreaming about past memories and the future again, you fell asleep. When you woke up you had no idea what time it was since the room had no windows. 

You could hear noises coming from the wall next to your bed so you shuffled closer to it and put your ear against it. The sounds became clearer. Was that someone crying? 

‘’ Hello? ‘’

It became quiet. Then, you heard something moving on the other side. A voice made you jump in surprise, ‘’ Is that you? ‘’

‘’ Jake? ‘’ you breathed, ‘’ You-you’re alive? ‘’

He giggled, maybe detecting the small concern in your voice, ‘’ Yes, thanks to you. ‘’

You opened and closed your mouth a few times, not sure what to say. Jake continued talking to take the burden from you.

‘’ I got here yesterday after getting treated at the hospital. They said it wasn’t too bad. ‘’

‘’ Why would you come here after they stabbed you? ‘’

‘’ Well…I thought they had taken you. I wanted to help you, return the favor and stuff. ‘’

‘’ But it didn’t go well I’m guessing? ‘’

‘’ No. Clearly not, ‘’ he said jokingly, ‘’ They didn’t accept me back but thankfully they didn’t kill me either. ‘’

You weren’t sure why you asked the next question or why you even cared, but it was like he made you feel pity for him. Like this wasn’t the same guy that had bullied you.

‘’ Have they been giving you food? ‘’

Jake didn’t see it as you being kind and thoughtful, he thought you were concerned for your own health, ‘’ Yeah. They give us food if you’re worried about that. Water too. ‘’

You hummed, chewing on your lip. 

‘’ How will we get out? ‘’

‘’ I’m not sure we will, y/n. ‘’

Neither of you said anything after that. The words felt heavy; enough so that it sent both of you into deep thought. You stared at the ceiling again, there wasn’t much to do in there anyway.

Just then, someone knocked on your door. They didn’t listen for a response and you waited anxiously as it unlocked and was pushed open. Heeseung stepped in with a tray of food and a bottle of water.

Jay peeked in for a moment and then disappeared again, shortly being replaced by the face of Sunoo. You rolled over on your side, feeling horrendously like a zoo animal. 

‘’ Hey, princess. ‘’ 

Heeseung sat crosslegged by the bed and opened the water. Despite your body language protesting, he helped you sit upright and poured water into your mouth. Your eyes drifted from your bully to the tray of food he had placed on the bed.

He snickered when he noticed it and brought it forward. Taking some chopsticks he loaded food into your mouth which you gladly took even though you were dying on the inside from humiliation.

And that was it. Once the food was eaten and the water drunken, he left and locked the room again. You stared wide-eyed at the door after. Were they doing it on purpose? Limiting social interactions to use it as a tool? You would’ve thought they’d be eager to talk to you now that they had you all for themselves, out of sight of everyone else.

Like on the bus, you remained between sleeping and being conscious again; occasionally turning your head towards the wall where Jake was on the other side and then staring at the door.

The next time the door opened, you assumed it was nighttime. Jay had been the one tasked with giving you food and water instead of Heeseung, but you still saw Sunoo in the background. He came in fully and sat on the foot of the bed. His eyes carried compassion and guilt in them, which were trained on you the whole time you let Jay feed you.

‘’ What time is it? How long have I been here? ‘’

You tried initiating a conversation to test your theory of them purposefully avoiding talking to you for too long. Jay stopped his movements. He looked annoyed and almost glared at you.

‘’ Hours. ‘’

‘’ How many? ‘’

You were ignored. Not even begging silently to Sunoo helped you. He stood up which caught the attention of Heeseung and Sunghoon who had now also joined your room, although only in the doorway. 

At the sound of shuffling footsteps behind him, Jay’s head snapped around. Sunoo stared back, a fearful expression on his face as he met the slight glare his friend directed toward him.

Their temper had always been short when it came to Sunoo. No one got scolded or watched as closely as he did. He never contributed anything to plans, he was more dragged along and forced to submit.

‘’ Where are you going? ‘’ Heeseung’s low voice warned.

He felt uncomfortable under the spotlight. All of you had your eyes on him, watching him closely; inspecting him, maybe even judging him. A grimace took over his fear, he instead felt rather pathetic.

But at the same time, Sunoo had more reason to be afraid of them now. They had killed Jake for stepping out of line, and he was terrified they’d do the same to him.

‘’ I-I was just- ‘’

‘’ Just leave, ‘’ Sunghoon waved him off, and the almost disgusted scowl on his face was hard to miss.

You released the breath you didn’t know you’d been holding in when he turned back again. What did they want? And what were they going to do? Not knowing was somehow worse than if you knew they would hurt you next, at least then you could prepare. It reminded you of the gym, that first time they had pressed the hot iron against your skin.

You had no clue what would happen when you walked into that room, similar to how you’d felt when you walked into Jungwon’s house, and every single time they stepped into your room so far.

Do they want to talk this time, taunt you, just see you, make a deal, kiss you or is this the time they take it one step further? Those were anxious thoughts that always filled your head when almost all of them had gathered now. At this point, it almost immediately kicked your fight or flight in when you heard the lock turn; just like Pavlov’s dog, you had been trained to recognize the sound and your body reacted autonomously. 

‘’ Hey. ‘’

You raised your hung head and looked at Jay. The two of you seemed to try and read what was on the other’s mind, but you had no luck.

‘’ Do you not want to see Soobin? ‘’

A humorless scoff left your dry lips, ‘’ He’s not dead yet? ‘’

His eyebrow raised, your reaction was quite unexpected. You sounded exhausted, almost like you had given up already. It was a shame, they hadn’t even toyed that much with you yet.

‘’ Do you wish he were? ‘’

‘’ No, ‘’ you firmly pressed out through clenched teeth.

‘’ Then you better be on your best behavior, ‘’ he smirked before standing up.

You watched through the corner of your eye how he walked away with the others and relaxed when the sound of the door closing echoed. 

You began to think less and less that they would let either of you go. Despite their fathers being close, Soobin’s dad wouldn’t have anything to say if his son came in between his boss and the company’s future. 

Time was running out in all ways. The election was fast approaching, on top of all the other things that were burdens for you. 

*******

A lot of time had passed until you opened your eyes again. You assumed you had been sleeping because you couldn’t remember what you had daydreamed about. What had woken you up was a lot of noise on the outside.

The more you were waking up and shaking the grogginess off, the louder and clearer the sounds became. They were shouting and you could hear thuds, sounds of furniture moving and banging.

You sat up straight. Footsteps approached your door. With your heart in your throat, you stared and waited. It went quiet, then the lock slowly clicked; with a creak, it was pushed open. You almost pressed your eyes shut out of fear but didn’t have time.

‘’ Yeonjun? ‘’

‘’ Hey. Sorry I was late, ‘’ he casually said, ‘’ Sunoo told me where you were. ‘’

You were about to say something else when a stranger pushed past him. More people poured in, shining their bright lights at you so it took some time to adjust to it. You heard what sounded like a radio, and your head snapped up.

‘’ You’re here to help me? ‘’ you choked out.

They looked down at you with polite smiles. One of them helped uncuff you and get you on your feet. You followed them wordlessly out of the room. When they led you past Jake’s room you couldn’t help but glance in.

He was sitting up on his bed and people were helping him too. He saw you and grinned widely, looking like a little puppy.

‘’ Soobin? ‘’ you looked back at Yeonjun who was following you.

‘’ He’s safe. He was in one of the rooms near the entrance, ‘’ he assured you.

The area you had been in just a few hours ago was completely destroyed. The TV had fallen and the chairs and tables on the other side had been knocked over. 

‘’ Where are they? ‘’

Yeonjun couldn’t hold back the smirk that spread on his face, ‘’ You’ll see. ‘’

You frowned and climbed up the ladder, wondering what he was talking about. As soon as you were out, you had your answer. All six of them were being led away in handcuffs by police officers in the same uniform as the ones escorting you out.

Your group waited for your bullies to leave so you let your eyes wander while standing there. It didn’t seem like there had been an altercation above the bunker so they must have all been below ground. 

Next, you turned and your heart almost stopped. Two people stared back at you, both equally as taken back and so moved by seeing you that they had tears in their eyes. You ran over there, straight into his arms.

‘’ Are you okay? ‘’ you mumbled into his chest.

He sniffled and laughed. You only cried harder, knowing how much you had missed hearing that laugh.

‘’ Yes, I’m okay. Are you? ‘’ he pulled away to look at you, and seemingly satisfied he pulled you in to hug you even tighter.

‘’ Hey, asshole. When is it my turn? ‘’

Soobin rubbed the back of his neck and you saw his cheeks turn red before he released you. Yena had never looked that animated before. She was beaming and had even let the tears drop shamelessly. 

You returned her smile and hugged her carefully. Her hold around you tightened and you felt her chest heave. You rubbed her back soothingly and cried too, mostly because you felt sorry that hadn’t believed her.

You both pulled back after some time and wiped your tears. She genuinely looked like she loved you. You felt like you had to say it, ‘’ I’m so sorry, Yena. ‘’

Her eyes narrowed, ‘’ No! Do not apologize. ‘’

You laughed and accepted defeat because she genuinely looked really angry like she wanted to punch you for even uttering those words or thinking them. 

A hand touched your arm. You turned around, knowing who it was already. A shy Jake greeted you, his anxious eyes darting to Yena and Soobin several times.

‘’ Hi, ‘’ he sheepishly said.

‘’ Hi. ‘’

‘’ I just, um- ‘’ he looked really uncomfortable so you gave him a reassuring smile which seemed to relax him a little bit. 

‘’ I want to apologize for everything. ‘’

You blinked at him.

‘’ What? ‘’ you all three said in unison. 

‘’ Well…I don’t want to blame the others. But I think being in that environment with really bad people influenced me. I’m not perfect, which is why I want to apologize so hopefully I can change, and become better.’’

‘’ I- oh, that’s nice. Thank you. ‘’

He nodded and laughed a bit awkwardly. Trying to move past you he was stopped as you pulled on his sleeve. You weren’t sure if you were making a mistake you’d come to regret. However, you said it anyway,

‘’ We can keep in touch if you want. ‘’

Now it was his time to blink at you in bewilderment, ‘’ What? Are you sure? ‘’

‘’ Yeah. I might move away from the city anyway. ‘’

You handed him your phone which he stared at for a few seconds before he seemed to snap out of it. He gave it back and this time he had a genuine smile on his face as he left. Yena and Soobin immediately ran up to you.

‘’ Are you crazy? Why would you do that? ‘’

‘’ I don’t know, ‘’ you groaned, ‘’ Trying to give people a second chance? ‘’

Soobin shook his head, ‘’ What would you do without me? ‘’

You laughed loudly and hugged him again. Pressed against his chest, you soon pulled away slightly to look up at him.

‘’ Soobin? ‘’

‘’ Yeah- ‘’

His words were knocked right out of his mouth as you stood on tiptoe to press your lips against his. Yena squealed with joy and gasped when she noticed. There was so much love, so much desperation and yearning in that kiss you had waited so long for. When you both looked at each other, he was glowing with happiness, he could feel what you were trying to tell him.

*******

Yeonjun had explained it about a thousand times since you left Jungwon’s house that night. However many times he kept doing it, it was still surreal to you and Soobin. What he had done once you left was quite simple, but not something any of you had thought about before.

He went to social media and the press. Turned out your bullies thought you’d never go online with it all because it was too big of a thing, they probably only thought that if you did that you would write some letter exposing the bullying. Those that released letters like that never gained much attention, they were always buried under the other hundreds of letters.

And if they thought you’d attempt to go on social media with the scandals of the company abusing their staff and being corrupt; they assumed you would post it, and they’d track you down before it gained traction.

Yeonjun was smarter than that. He went anonymous and made sure he couldn’t be traced at all. With his hacking, he released the most important files - the photos, texts, and evidence that were the most important. He had organized them when you all thought he was locked up in his room because he was distressed. No, that had only motivated him further, pushing him to his limits to get revenge for his friend.

It took a lot of time for it to get attention on social media, so he copied and sent it to every news outlet he had done research on that wasn’t connected to the company. Naturally, they freaked out. They tried looking everywhere for Yeonjun, but he wasn’t at home.

It was crazy, something out of a movie almost. You felt so lucky that it took off online the way that it did because it was a bit of a luck game. Some must’ve tried the same things you did, but it never got highlighted.

You suppose this was the universe’s way of giving back to you after so much pain and misery. All the fighting, tears, and work for the revenge you so badly wanted to get; had not been in vain.

You leaned your head back against the seat in the car after Yeonjun had retold his story again. He said that the evidence led to a warrant for their arrest and that they were being detained while they investigated.

*******

The sounds of heels clacking against the marble floor echoed down the hallway. You already knew who they might be, the mothers of your bullies. So you made a run for it, scared that they would confront you.

Escaping into one of the corridors to the side that led to smaller courtrooms, you pressed yourself against the wall while holding your breath. The heels went past you and then disappeared completely. 

Soon, you started to hear two voices. It sounded like an older male and…You leaned closer, the voice became clearer. It was your lawyer that you had recently hired in case your bullies or the company tried to get back at you. In hushed voices, they angrily conversed.

‘’ You said you could wrap this up. ‘’

Your lawyer released a short, tired sigh and you could almost picture him rubbing his nose out of frustration.

‘’ I would’ve been able to if they didn’t take it to the media. With everyone’s eyes on us, I can’t do much, people have protested! You’ll have to accept the punishment. ‘’

Silence filled the area for a short period. Then a low hum sounded from the older male. You suspected he was from Jay’s dad’s company from what they were saying. It meant that your lawyer was affiliated with them. You rolled your eyes - of course, your luck would have it that way. 

But at the same time, it didn’t seem to matter. The lawyer couldn’t soften the blow of the angry citizens and keyboard warriors at home, nor could they dodge the bullets of the workers’ unions that demanded a punishment. Jungwon wouldn’t get quite the same punishment the company would, so maybe they were talking about that and not why you were there today.

‘’ And the girls? ‘’

You straightened up and swallowed thickly, almost choking on air when you were mentioned. 

‘’ I’m not sure what will happen to her. She hasn’t asked for the case to be reopened. ‘’

Your eyebrows knit together. Reopened? They weren’t talking about you. Who were they talking about? Shuffling closer to the voices as they became even more cautiously hushed, you hoped that they would explain it further or at least say enough for you to decipher it yourself.

‘’ I probably won’t have to worry about that then. We paid them a great deal. ‘’

‘’ And even if she went through with it, she wouldn’t have gotten much justice, ‘’ your lawyer filled in.

You waited with bated breath for them to continue, but a long time passed with neither of them saying anything. Then you heard the sound of shoes moving and you hurried to turn the corner, your heart beating loudly in your chest.

‘’ Miss? ‘’

You froze. Turning around, you could only assume you looked like a deer caught in headlights. It was evident that you had heard something you weren’t supposed to. Your lawyer stepped away from the older male and put a hand hovering against the small of your back to make you move.

The two of you walked back to the courtroom, and immediately after retaking your seats outside it, he questioned you.

‘’ What were you doing? ‘’

You bit your tongue, ‘’ I was just resting and I…accidentally heard you. ‘’

He hummed and put his arm to rest behind you on the bench. It served its purpose. Intimidated, words slipped out of your mouth without him having said much.

‘’ I-I didn’t hear much. I swear! ‘’

He looked disappointed, but also amused; a small smile played on his lips. He leaned in and this time it felt much more intimate. 

‘’ Are you going to tell anyone? ‘’

‘’ No, ‘’ you shook your head vehemently, ‘’ But…who were you talking about? ‘’

‘’ Sunghoon and Jay. ‘’

Your eyes widened and he looked equally surprised when studying your face and seeing that you had no idea what he was talking about.

‘’ Didn’t you get the files? ‘’

‘’ Yes? ‘’ you said in a small voice.

Maybe Yeonjun had left that detail out.

‘’ The reason they were at the police station was to pick up a report that was filed against them by their former girlfriends. ‘’

‘’ Why? ‘’ 

You had a bad feeling in your stomach, and you could’ve probably guessed right then and there what it was about. It was just hard to imagine those two in particular doing something so heinous, so evil.

Then again - they were friends with Jungwon, the devil himself and evil reincarnated. You supposed it takes one to know one and they were all bad in one way or another.

Your lawyer licked his lips, glanced back to see if anyone else was around, and then casually whispered, ‘’ Domestic violence. ‘’

‘’ Wha- ‘’ you felt at loss for words.

‘’ It was dismissed, naturally because of their connections. They had photos and texts but it was all swept under the rug. ‘’

‘’ How is that even possible? ‘’

‘’ Money is power, miss. ‘’ he looked away, but his smirk was still visible, ‘’ It can do anything you want it to. ‘’

‘’ That’s immoral. ‘’ you angrily burst out, quite loudly.

Immediately a hand found its way to your thigh, warning you to keep your voice down. 

‘’ That’s life, ‘’ he bit back.

His attention was turned to the front again, firmly letting you know he was done talking. You almost felt like a kid around him, despite your ages not being that far apart. You obeyed him, but with a sour taste in your mouth, he reminded you of someone.

‘’ The break is over. Court is in session again. ‘’

People moved into the courtroom. You kept your head down, but could almost predict that Jungwon and his lawyer brushed past you in that moment. When the last few people went in, the guards closed the doors and the sound of it echoed in the silence.

‘’ What do you think the ruling will be? ‘’

He ticked his tongue. You were sure he already had an answer despite not giving it right away. Maybe he was sparing you the pain for a bit longer.

‘’ I think it won’t be a harsh punishment. ‘’

‘’ But, he will go to prison, right? ‘’ he didn’t answer, ‘’ Right? ‘’

‘’ There’s nothing I can do to change it, miss, ‘’ he explained calmly, ‘’ The others were already just put on probation for the kidnapping charges. This is how it works with Chaebol families. ‘’

‘’ He killed someone! ‘’

He glared at you, and your voice quietened down a bit. However, It didn’t do much to quieten the anger you felt inside.

‘’ They will claim it’s involuntary manslaughter, maybe even spin it into negligent homicide. ‘’

‘’ Manslaughter? That must be prison time. ‘’

‘’ Most of the time, you can pay a fine, especially when you’re a first-time offender and a rich, well-known person like Mr. Yang. ‘’

You sighed and your whole body slumped down in the seat. Doubling over you buried your face in your hands and almost tore out pieces of your hair.

‘’ I don’t understand… ‘’ you mumbled to yourself, over and over.

Your lawyer looked at you with pity. But he was quiet. From time to time he went from looking at you with concern, to checking his watch curiously. 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed before the door finally opened again. The people were unusually quiet, so you almost missed them passing by. You only noticed when heaps of shoes passed by right in front of your field of view.

‘’ Y/n, the trial is over. ‘’

Slowly you raised your head, ‘’ What was the verdict? ‘’

‘’ I’ll go check. Stay here. ‘’

He stood up and pushed past the stream of people. Close to the entrance, he stopped by what looked like Jungwon’s lawyer from where you were sitting. A visible grin spread on the man’s face, and when your lawyer turned to you, you already knew you wouldn’t be happy with the news.

‘’ No jail? ‘’ you said defeatedly.

He sighed, ‘’ No jail. He just has to pay millions in fines. ‘’

‘’ That’s nothing to a guy like him. ‘’

‘’ At least he and the other guys have been suspended. Are you still going to go to that school? ‘’

You hadn’t thought about that since you yourself got suspended. What you wanted most maybe seemed like something out of a fantasy - to run away to the countryside and finish school there with Soobin, away from the city and the places that only brought forth bad memories.

Your dad would most likely never accept that. But you had considered cutting all ties with him anyway, so it didn’t really matter. If you didn’t live too far out, you could still go and visit your mom every weekend and walk around at the places you actually liked.

‘’ I would suggest you move, miss. ‘’

‘’ Why? ‘’

‘’ Although they have been disciplined and they no longer have the same power they used to because of the company having fallen apart, it doesn’t mean they won’t give up on you. ‘’

‘’ I think they will now. They have lost a lot. ‘’

‘’ Take my advice. I’ll stay in touch, ‘’ he said and then stood up.

You gave him a rather sad smile, but it still carried a lot of gratitude and had more lightness to it than the previous fake ones you had given him in the beginning. You supposed this was as much justice as you and the other victims would get. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

More and more people passed by, unnoticed by you. Remaining glued to the bench you kept thinking over your future. 

*******

6 months later

You shared your thoughts with Soobin about what you wished life after the storm would look like. As always he fought hard to make your wishes come true. He brought you out to his aunt’s house in the countryside and promised you shelter there for as long as you needed.

Going back to the city hadn’t happened many times. Mostly because after you had moved out there, tragedy had struck the peace, disrupting it once again. You almost burst into tears any time you thought of your mom. They had called, telling you that she had passed away. The timing was suspicious, to say the least. Soobin had been there to comfort you after everything; after the confirmation, the funeral, and whenever you felt like your heart was breaking.

But, you knew your mom was at peace now. The crying had become less frequent when you realized this. Free from feeling like a burden on her family, and free from the hold your bullies had over her.

Maybe you could’ve seen it coming. That if you fought back, they’d remove your mom like a piece from a chessboard. 

All in all, you had started to feel happy. You took everything day by day, and gradually it got easier. The stress you had felt from living in the city, constantly harassed and bullied by them, and also under surveillance had disappeared. You felt lighter, looked more radiant. Looking back at it you’d been living in constant survival mode. Therefore it felt a bit weird that you were free now.

You and Soobin were sitting on the train for your first trip into the city in a long time. Summer was fast approaching. As you stopped seeing your bullies, the scars gradually stopped itching. You didn’t care about the stares you’d get when out in public, you freely wore short-sleeved shirts. Soobin was always there to hold your hand or distract you by saying stupid stuff whispered into your ear when he saw them.

And when you turned to him, everyone else disappeared.

*******

*******

taglist; @peaceout97blog-blog, @ayadikreino, @beoms-sugar, @keikeu, @sunghoonnsupremacy, @lilyalone, @sweet-kisses-and-bloody-screams, @eunchaesmileyface, @nunugget, @seunns, @nshmrarki, @huening-ly, @espyluvsyou, @yncel, @loserwithnofriends, @enha-stan, @binchanluvrr, @ariek-divad, @obsessed1with1straykids, @yizhoutv, @taeyongzodiactwinkiri, @w3bqrl, @elleashn, @nuriicata, @yevene, @manasasugarbaby09, @jend3uki

*******

Hey my loves, if you made it this far woww ur crazy bc this is really my longest chapter and written thing on this blog I think I’ve ever done??!! 

Now, this chapter might be confusing or disappointing which is why I’m here to explain it to ease at least some of y’all’s minds (I hope)

First Jake - yes, I did ‘’ revive ‘’ him lol, or decide to not kill him even tho I had planned otherwise, after everyone’s opinions changed. It’s honestly super interesting to see how people’s opinions can change just like that, because of one chapter, one scene and & perspective change, super cool!! Some of you will probably believe he’ll have a full character redemption arc and some still hate him and alwaysa will, never believing a guy like him will change.

Yena, now Yena’s interesting. I always struggled with her character. Do I make her actually betray y/n or not? Do I make her die (bc yes I was very adamant on one of them dying, even Yeonjun was considered, after heroically saving his brother and the girl he liked, he’d die thinking of his friend LMAOO). In the end I settled on her warming up to y/n which I personally found was pretty sweet since before meeting her she was literally a copy of her brother - cold, dark and mean.

Also, at the end I did reveal a pretty big thing abt Sunghoon & Jay. I know the placement is weird and so is the random scene where I bring Jiyun in (maybe?) in all honesty I had forgotten abt her lol and I had also forgotten abt the dirty secrets those two were hiding. That’s why it got crammed in at the end bc I already had my set scenes I wanted to write.

The conclusion might frustrate some, I get that. My simplest explanation is that they were in reality just a bunch of high schoolers. They weren’t some evil masterminds and I think that makes it more realistic. They were spoiled kids who expected their parents to clean up after them every time and thought they were untouchable that’s why the taunted y/n and Soobin by handing them the evidence right in their hands. DUMB !!! In the end though, the punishments they got didn’t make it as ‘’ easy ‘’ as them finding her and the whole thing going down at the end did.

I do believe she got a happy ending even tho it definitely didn’t seem like it with her mom dying and her barely getting any justice lol. But I guess again, it’s a matter of perspective. What she wanted most maybe wasn’t revenge, but freedom that she had always craved. Plus, their jealous assess probably see it as revenge bc she got swept off her feet by Choi Soobin himself.

I love open endings, although this was only a ‘’ semi-open ‘’ ending. Maybe some of you think, like I pitched at the end that they will try to follow her and not give up. Others, would think they’d let her go no matter how painful it’d be - could they perhaps find a new obsession in the city instead?

And also I would say that although my masterlist says ‘’ heavily inspired by ‘’ I only think it ended up being a little inspired by but yeah can’t change it now lol so sorry if u were expecting my girl to pull off such moves like the mc did in the glory.

If you read this far (again) I love you, & even if you didn’t read this whole chapter bc it’s a LOT or you still felt the ending was poopie bc I’m a student who rushes things - thank you, from the bottom of my heart ! I’m excited to see what new projects I will want to do <333

[railingsofsorrow]

do you need me?

[spencer reid x reader]

summary: the one where emily's death takes a toll on you. based on the prompt “don't come over, I can handle it.” from this prompt list.

pairing: s.reid x gn!reader

w.c: 3.5K

warnings/content: mentions of skipping meals; grief; mourning the loss of a friend; jemily (implied); blood; non-graphic descriptions of violence; character death (mentioned/not the MCs); addiction; intoxication; survivor's guilt; crying; unhealthy coping mechanisms; this is... heavy, be aware.

A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! I wish that we all have an amazing 2024. here's the blurb you voted for. hurt/comfort at its best <3

navi

masterpost

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❝ it did not kill me and it did not make me stronger. it simply was and always will be scorched upon my heart. ❞

— d.j

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You don't know who took Emily's death the hardest. Pain is not something that can be measured or compared, people deal with it in different ways. Some are quieter in their grieving, others are loud. And although each one of your teammates knows how to compartmentalize their feelings, there was a fog in their eyes, a heaviness in their shoulders more than usual. Things you could relate well after all that has happened. You wish you didn't. You wished all of that was just a strange and far-off memory.

JJ was different — you noticed it during one of your night outs.

Penelope had forced everyone to hang out after a case, to relax. It had been a few months after what happened to Emily and the team was still... sore. Rightfully so.

Hotch and Rossi left earlier, leaving you, Derek, Spencer, Penelope and JJ at the bar. The only ones who weren't intoxicated were you and Spencer. You were pretty sure the conversation Penelope and Derek were having in their own little world was not PG-13, anyway.

“Do you think she's alright?”

Spencer asked, casting a look towards JJ. It's been half an hour she was nursing a glass of water — you had purposely brought her this one since she'd lost count of her shots —, staring at it with her stare unfocused.

“She will be.” You had said and when he told you he was leaving, you asked if he wanted a ride home. You hadn't drank anything but orange juice. He refused it, hugged you and, before he left, he demanded that you'd let him know once you got home.

You ended up being JJ's designated driver that night.

It was when you first saw a crack through the mask she had put on. Emily and JJ shared a deep bond. You knew their friendship wasn't just friendship, even before Emily had revealed to you that she had feelings for the blonde a while back. When Emily was gone, you saw how JJ took it hard. Not that everyone else didn't as well, but the love from each person in the team carried for Emily was different from the love JJ had for her.

Between the gibberish she was mumbling in the passenger seat of your car, she let escape a faint “I miss her”. Her voice cracked and your heart ached.

“D’ you think...” She muttered as you were helping her into her bed. “D'you think she miss— a hiccup — misses us?”

You refrained from saying that dead people cannot miss anything. Instead, you waited for her to fall asleep, placed a cup of water and aspirin on her bedside table before leaving her apartment.

She pretended nothing happened in the next day and you did the same.

You thought JJ had it worst, until Spencer showed up at your door at 3 a.m craving for something he hadn't touched in three years.

Again, pain is not comparable. One does not hurts more than another; people deal with their hardships in life differently, even if they have gone through the same life-changing event.

Some let it show, others just know how to hide it better. You no longer knew if you were the former or the latter through the eyes of your friends.

The current case you were working on had rendered you mentally exhausted. A victim had been taken hostage and for two days you tried to negotiate with the unsub, but to no avail. You almost had it. Almost. When you thought you had succeeded in releasing the woman, she was shot right in front of you.

She died in your arms and there was nothing that you could have done to prevent.

Or was there?

There was nothing that you could have done. You have heard that before. Countless of times. People tried to inject that into your head as a way to make you feel better. And they have their best intentions, you do not doubt it. But it was no use if you couldn't bring yourself to believe these words.

This was just one of those days, when you didn't know how to cope with that overbearing sadness that crippled your mind.

There was nothing that you could have done. There was nothing that you could have done. There was nothing that you could have done. There was nothing that you could have done. There was nothing that you could have—

“Hey.”

You flinched, startled at the voice. As you came back to reality, Spencer turned up in front of you.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.” His face twitched into a grimace.

You cleared your throat, placing your stuff in your bag. You were so distracted that you didn't realise you had been holding the bloodied shirt you were wearing in the morning; you shoved it inside carelessly. I'm gonna burn it.

“You didn't,” you said. “What's up? I thought you had left already.”

Spencer leaned on the door, fingers playing with the strap of his satchel as he waited for you to leave the room. He followed you to the corridor, an unspoken silence that said a million things. His fidgety hands weren't just mindlessly stimming, he was nervous.

Everyone else seemed to have left, meaning the bullpen was fairly empty. You wondered how long you stayed frozen reminiscing as the minutes went by.

“I was waiting for you.” He responded as soon as the elevator doors closed.

You turned to him with widened eyes. “Why? I'm sorry I kept you waiting—”

Spencer quickly waved you off, “It's alright.” He gave you a soft smile. The one you felt warm inside. “I just wanted to know if you were okay.”

Oh.

“Of course I am.” You replied and you really hoped the tight smile you gave him was convincing enough for him to not question further. You weren't sure if you'd be able to not crumble down completely if he asked again.

“Are you sure?”

Damn, Spencer.

Yes, everything is good. I just need to get home, take a shower and have a good night sleep without interruptions.

Everything is good.

You don't know how many times you repeated that until he walked alongside you to the parking lot.

Arriving home was all that you needed to let your armour aside. God you were so tired. You didn't even reach your bedroom before the tears came like a waterfall. Falling into your couch, with no strength to stand, you finally stopped fighting against the sadness and let it lead you for the time being.

It's hard trying to be strong all the time, isn't it? Not admitting you need someone to be there for you because you only know how to be there for people. You tell them it's going to be okay. You let them be vulnerable. You say it's okay to not be okay.

Why can't you treat yourself the same way you treat the people around you?

You count every raindrop falling down your window, it helps you focus on reality. It was grounding and a few minutes later you have stopped sobbing your heart out.

It was raining hard outside. When you open the window, the cold slips right in and you stay there, enjoying the wind pushing your hair back.

You dial a familiar number tonight. And you don't hang up after two rings. You think about doing it in the fourth, but the person picks up, apologizing before they say hello.

It actually makes your lips twitch slightly. You don't smile, but you feel like doing it after crying so hard.

“Spencer.” You say through the phone interrupting his incessant apologies for taking too long to answer, your brows creasing after you hear how strange your voice is. “You don't have to apologize. I was the one who called you at one a.m. Why are you even awake?”

“I was reading. Lost track of time. I— have you been crying?” Well, shit. Too much for thinking he wouldn't notice through the phone.

“Why do you ask?” You ask rather pathetically. Why did you call him? Why did you bother Spencer at one a.m when he could be sleeping? You should feel sorry for yourself. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called—”

“I was thinking about you.”

Your breath hitches. You close the window and sit back on the floor and you feel like crying again, you don't know why. Maybe it's his voice. Maybe it's the fact that he makes you feel everything that you're allowed to feel.

He takes your silence as his cue to continue. “I know how much you love thunderstorms so I...” he trails off as if he's uncertain about what he will say. “I remembered you.”

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Spencer could take pride in saying he knew you better than anyone else.

He recognised the sound of your voice was different when your were excited about a particular topic and when you were discussing a case at work. He knew you brushed your hair behind your ear when you felt shy, but the same action could happen when you were uncomfortable. It heavily depended on the situation.

He was aware of your odd behaviour by the way you kept on touching your index finger throughout the day. The week, actually. Spencer could tell you were bothered by something, he could tell you were deeply upset. You skipped breakfast and you never had lunch with them. Not that past week.

And judging by the dark circles around your eyes, you weren't sleeping well either.

He saw himself in you a month back.

See, Spencer was the kind of person who didn't like being vulnerable around anyone. If anything, he mastered the act of not communicating his feelings, he just expected them to disappear, which didn't happen but he was getting better at understanding that.

After Emily's passing, the only one he opened up to was you. And it was the hardest and best choice he ever made. You made him feel seen. It was so easy to talk to you about anything that he didn't notice until a few days ago that you were a very good listener. Not that he didn't notice that before, no, it was not that. But you just listened. You comforted. You held.

Spencer was really concerned about your coping mechanisms, because he knew he didn't have the most healthy ways of dealing with things. He hoped you were better than him. He hoped you didn't let it build up until you were suffocating.

So when you called him, he wasn't lying when he said he was thinking of you. His lie laid on the reading part, he was trying to fall asleep but his concern was keeping him up.

I'm here for you too. He wanted to say. Please, let me be here for you.

“I know how much you love thunderstorms so I...” He sat down on the bed, shifting until he found a comfortable position. “I remembered you.” This is what he started with.

Your ragged breathing through the line cut off his rational thinking. So you have been crying.

He called your name softly.

“Hi. I'm here.” You say, forcing out an exhale.

“Talk to me.” He pleads.

He hears a faint sniffle, “I'm here, Spencer.”

No, you're not. You're far away.

“I'm here too. You know that right?”

“It's been a hard week.” You admit through your shaky voice. “I just needed to hear your voice.” You cut him off quickly. “I know that I saw you a few hours ago, but I—”

“Do you need me?” He was the one who cut you off this time. He couldn't bear you explaining the reason you called. You could call him as many times as you wanted. Every five minutes, every second. He wanted to tell you he missed you when your shift was over for the day even if he spent the entire day by your side, and that you never ever could bother him because he cherished your company. He wanted you close. And he just wanted you to be okay now.

“... It's one a.m, Spence.” There is some shifting through the line, sounds like you were moving around. “I— I can handle it. It's fine.”

“Do you need me?” He repeats, shuffling out of his room to the living room. He couldn't care less that it was one a.m. He found his coat hanged and didn't wait for your answer to put it on. Really, Spencer should have done it sooner.

He's half way on tying his left shoe when you breath out in resignation. Your voice much closer to his ear as if you were telling him a secret you should be ashamed of. “Yes. Yes, I need you.”

He let out a hum, standing up to grab his car keys and sprinted out of his home to go to yours.

“I'll be there in ten.”

You lived twenty minutes away from him, but he'd make in ten. He wanted to see you. More than anything, he wanted to tell you everything that you hadn't heard when you were too busy comforting people instead of yourself.

He stops short before knocking on your door, deciding on sending you a text to let you know he was there so you wouldn't be startled at the noise. He didn't get to click send as the door was yanked open. Your bloodshot eyes and swollen lips are the first thing he sees.

“Hi.” He says, slipping his phone into his pocket. As soon as he did that, your arms envelope his shoulders which caused him to let out a sound of surprise, but he quickly recover and wraps his own arms around you, squeezing your shaky body against his. “Hi.” He utters into the croak of your neck, his hand trailing up and down on your back gently. “I'm wet because of the rain,” he apologises halfheartedly. “Sorry.”

The laugh he hears through your sobs might just have made his day.

He was cold immediately after you slips out of his arms. You pull him inside your place and shut the door, claiming you would be back with a towel despite his protests that he didn't need it.

Spencer lost count of how many times he visited your place. He knew every corner of your apartment, every place you left books that you keep losing when you didn't found them on the shelves, every painting and drawing you had on the walls. The ones he happily convinced you to put on because you made them and they were beautiful, you just didn't believe it.

The two of you spent long hours on your couch, either reading a book and saying your favourite quotes out loud or just watching bad movies and TV shows to pass the time.

He'd ramble on and on about the inconsistencies of any plot and you'd engage in his refutations until you'd disagree and some bantering ensued.

“Here.” Spencer turns around to see you offering a towel for him to dry off. The middle of your forehead furrows slightly, he feels the need to smooth it out himself but he refrains from doing so. “It's dangerous to drive when the weather it's like this. I'm sorry that I made you come all the way here for nothing.”

“Nothing?” He shakes his head as if it's the most absurd thing you've ever said. “You're not nothing.” He accepts the towel and what he recognizes is a jumper of his he must have forgotten a while ago.

When he's completely dry, he walks to the kitchen where you had ventured off to make some tea.

Two mugs are placed on the kitchen counter, the smell of camomile slowly filling the room. You are lost in your thoughts again, mixing the honey in your tea with a spoon for forty-three minutes, your gaze unfocused. Lost.

His fingerstips trails down your wrist to your hand, proceeding to take one of your hands in his, thumb running across your palm. “Can you please look at me?” He requests softly, head tilting until you have no choice but to meet his eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“It” are a lot of things. But he doesn't know if you feel comfortable enough to talk about all of them tonight. He'll just follow your lead and respect your time.

“I don't want you to see me like this.”

He feels your fingers tighten around his hand and he squeezes back as a form of reassurance.

“Like what?” He can't help but ask. Vulnerable? Human?

“Weak.”

“You could never be weak in my eyes.”

This time, he does smooth down the frown between your brows with his thumb, surprised that you don't reject his touch but welcome it by leaning into his hand.

Neither of you drink the tea. Instead, you move back to the living room, settling down on your couch. You end up cuddling, which wasn't strange because you have done it many times before. Now it just feels more intimate. His hold never strayed from yours. This time, he listened. He comforted. And he held you.

“I'm used to blood, we see it all the time.” you carry on, speaking directly to his chest as he looks down at you. “But I... My hands. There was just so much of it and I couldn't, I couldn't save her.” Your fingers play with the straps of his jumper to distract yourself.

There was nothing that you could have done.

“She knows you did everything you could.” Spencer reassures. He was well aware that you weren't just talking about the victim that you had lost today. “Wherever she is right now...” He lifts a hand to cup your face stroking your cheek with the utmost care in the world. “She knows.”

Your bloodshot eyes study him carefully, searching for any indication that could make you not trust anything he just said. He knew how hard it was to believe that you had no fault in the loss of a friend. Maybe if we had gotten there sooner... Maybe if we had figured everything out sooner...

A little bird told him once that you can't dwell on the past for long or else you'll be stuck in it. And those words — your words — helped on his healing process. He hoped he did the same to you now.

You were laying on his chest, one of your hands positioned right where his heart laid as your other arm involved his middle. His arm wrapped around you as his fingers were trailing up and down your back in the way he knew calmed you down. Spencer felt the most rested he hasn't felt in months and he wasn't even sleeping.

“Tell me if I'm making you uncomfortable.”

He shook his head in response, finding that statement completely absurd because it was not possible for you to make him feel uncomfortable. He's not a fan of PDA, but he found that he didn't mind it with you. So he lowered down on the couch, moving your body with his to be more comfortable, lips grazing your temple in a soft kiss.

“You're not.” He says brushing your hair away from your neck. Your eyes were shut and he could feel your breathing evening out. “Try to sleep a little.” He let out in a whisper to not disturb your peacefulness. He knew you needed it.

“Don't go.” You croak out, tucking your nose in the croak of his neck, breathing into him.

The corner of his lips quirk up. “I'll be here when you wake up.” He promises as thunder rolled outside. Fluttering his eyes shut when you have finally dozed off, he ignores the warnings in his head about sleeping on the couch and how bad it is for one's neck.

No, he could deal with that tomorrow. For now, he would just hold you.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

❝ all I know of strength, I have learnt from breaking. ❞

— sahiba

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

taglist: @lilyviolets

[darling-i-read-it]

Harrington's Sister

Billy Hargrove x Harrington!fem!reader

Word Count: 5.6k

Warnings: fighting (blood, stitching), reader and billy sneaking around and making out lol, lots of smoking, drinking, parties, lots of drunk characters running around 

Author’s Note: If you recognize this one you probably read ‘Harrington’ in 2020! This is the updated version of that and also the longest thing I’ve posted on this blog too date! What can I say, my love for Billy possesses me and takes over. 

Disclaimer: While this is set during season 2, I don’t condone Billy’s actions in that season in the slightest. He’s an asshole and racist and has done inexcusable things. Whenever I write for him I am writing for a version of him that could’ve been better had the world around him been expanded more! 

Original Request: by anon, hello! I love all of your recent content and I was wondering if you could write a billy hargrove x harrington!reader? something like they’re in a make out session and they get caught? or literally anything if you’re not comfortable with that. thank you x

(not my gif)

You leaned against Steve’s car, looking down at your wristwatch. He was late. Again. You had homework to do and the longer he took the longer you would be up working. You weren’t willing to pull an all-nighter before the test you had tomorrow in first period. 

You looked around the bustling crowd of people for your older brother. He was only older by 10 months. The Harrington’s ‘two kids and done’ rule was over within two years, which prompted you and Steve to be so close in age. 

You pushed yourself off the side of his car and wondered if Nancy had left yet. She was probably with Steve if she hadn’t. You might be able to find him, or at least get a ride from her. You had a grueling ethics essay that needed your attention and you knew that if the motivation went away you wouldn’t be able to retain it soon enough to get it done. 

You started to look through the parking lot, filled with high schoolers who couldn’t drive for the life of them, for Nancy’s car. You didn’t dare enter the roadways with everyone leaving. You slithered between some parked cars and ran right into Billy Hargrove who was opening up the driver's door to his camaro. 

“Woah there,” he said out of reflex, holding his hands to stop your momentum. Your breath hitched from the distraction. You were surprised to see him still around. Usually he was the first out of the parking lot, his car screeching as it made sharp turns. 

“Sorry,” you breathed out. You tried to go around him but his car door was still in the way. 

“Have you seen Max?” he asked. He knew you were often around his sister, or at least Steve was. 

“No. Have you seen Steve?” 

“No,” he grumbled. He looked above your head. You weren’t sure if he was looking for his sister or your brother but you didn’t move out of his way. “I’m supposed to take her to the arcade.” He wasn’t sure why he was telling you this. Perhaps it was because you were so off limits that he couldn’t help but be fond of you. Maybe it was because you were the only person in front of him who could listen. It was probably because you were in similar predicaments. 

“Yeah well I have to do homework and Steve has the car keys,” you responded. He met your eyes. “If you see him will you yell at him?” 

“I always do sweetheart.” You pursed your lips and pushed past him, trying to ignore the heat rising to your face. Billy Hargrove was the worst kind of guy. Steve hated him and you didn’t blame him. He was an asshole to everyone around him and a delinquent in the most traditional form. 

But you couldn’t help but feel some sort of attraction towards him. It was likely rooted in the hatred Steve had for him, the natural urge to defy your older brother. You avoided him as best you could because you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist him for longer than you could stand him. 

You saw Steve standing beside Nancy’s car and you ran up to him, shaking off the small interaction for nothing more than it was. Small. 

-

Billy wouldn’t say he went out of his way to see you but he did park right next to Steve’s car for a reason. When you approached it at the end of the school day he was already there, waiting, a cigarette dancing between his fingers. 

“Where’s Harrington?” Billy questioned. You went to open the passenger door to ignore this conversation but of course it was locked. 

“I’m Harrington,” you argued. You turned around. There was no getting out of this one. 

“Steve,” he corrected. He gestured with his two fingers back at the school. “Caught up with Wheeler again?” “Getting things from his locker. At least told me he would be longer today.” Billy pushed himself off the side of his car gently, not wanting to leave any kind of scruff on it. You were so close just by the sheer nature of the car’s being parked beside each other. You swallowed hard. 

“Max skipped today,” he said, voice low. “I could take you back if you don’t wanna wait.”

“Now why would you do that?” you questioned. You crossed your arms defensively. You hoped that putting some more space between you two would make it easier to deny him. 

“Out of the kindness of my heart.”

“You have a heart?”

“You’re welcome to come check for a pulse.” You narrowed your eyes at him, a sly smile playing on your face. You were close enough to touch him and though you knew you shouldn’t, you wanted to make him think you were bolder than you were. You put your hand flat on his chest. He had his red shirt half unbuttoned. You were touching his skin with your fingers spread out. You made a face like you were thinking, contemplating the heart within him. 

“Feels faint. You should get that checked out Hargrove.” He was looking at you with eyes filled with something you couldn’t quite place. Lust? Adoration? Thrill? 

“You probably got a better grade in bio than I did. I’ll take your word for it.” You looked behind him, trying to find Steve among the crowd of dissipating students. “What harm will it do?” he asked, like he could read your mind. 

You met his eyes again. 

“You got a piece of paper?” 

He went and shuffled through his dashboard for something to write on. He found a napkin and you pulled a pen out of your bag. 

Found another ride

Sister

You put the napkin underneath the windshield wipers. Then you got in the passenger seat of Billy Hargrove’s car. You could smell the cologne he wore everyday, like he had spilled it on the carpet and it never came out. When he started the car music erupted from the speakers, Van Halen you were fairly sure. He pulled out of the parking spot, almost hitting someone, and then screeched through the lot to the exit. 

You tried to hide the thrill in your chest. You shouldn’t be this excited to be in his car, to be on the other end of watching him leave the school. You were victim to something every other girl in the near vicinity was - feeling a pull towards the bad boy. You wanted to be better or at least be different but he had this routine locked down. He knew exactly what he was doing when he turned the music down to look at you. You wondered if the eyes he was making were part of his line, to reel you in. 

“Which way am I turning?” he questioned, lowly. You pointed up towards the next street. 

“Right. Then the second left.” He nodded. He took the turn too sharply. Despite his recklessness, you felt safe in the car with him. It’s like his own belief that he was invincible had worn off on you. “Thank you for taking me.” You had no real need to be home sooner. You would’ve been fine waiting for Steve. But you found you were better now that you were with Billy. 

“No problem sweetheart.” 

You drove in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes. You were surprised to find him not throwing out line after line. Maybe this was his thing. Make you want him more than he wanted you so that giving in felt like his choice. He had the music turned up more, tapping on the steering wheel. 

“Right up here.” There was an ease in the air that was only encouraged by the slight summer air from the windows. Billy rolled his down a bit to get the airflow. The sunrays were burning up your thighs. You squirmed, trying to get them out of the direct light. “That house.” 

You knew the drive was gonna be short but you still found yourself wishing you had led him elsewhere. Some sort of long route to have a reason to stay with him. He pulled up in front of your house, looking up at it. 

You followed his gaze, trying to see it how he would. 

There was a gentle silence. 

“You wanna go get something to ea-”

“Yes,” you finished. You had seen that charming smile on his face, one that he gave when he knew he got what he wanted. He reached in front of you and grabbed a cigarette pack out of the front compartment. He pushed one out with his finger and placed it between his teeth. 

“You know your brother probably wouldn’t want you in my car.”

“I think I’m a big girl who can make decisions for herself. Don’t you?” The smile grew, all teeth. He had raised his eyebrow slightly, like he was assessing the situation and knew how it would end. 

“Let’s get something to eat.”

He had never turned off the car. He pushed down on the gas. 

-

Something about Billy was so easy. The foundation of your relationship had been built on secrecy, which made it so alluring. Maybe the two of you were just destined to continue some sort of doomed circle of attraction. Whatever the reason, you weren’t about to let go. 

Billy and you stuck to sneaking around after school, ignoring each other during it. You would often pretend to have a study group, which was believable. You would also make up some story about sleeping over at a friends, which was less so, but you saved that for special occasions. 

Sneaking around with Billy was the most scandalous thing you had done. You were willing to bet it wasn’t the most scandalous thing he had done. But for some reason he stuck around, never giving you a hint of wanting to be somewhere else. 

The inside of the Camaro had become a comfort. You started to know the grooves of the car, the way the passenger door stuck or the dim lighting of the overhead bulbs. 

You pushed the rearview mirror back so that you could see your face. You fixed your hair, messy from an afternoon well spent. Billy snuck a hand onto your thigh. You eyed him evenly.

“Down boy,” you whispered.

He scoffed, his tongue coming out in his smile. He removed his hand obediently but not after a pat. You adjusted the seat you were in so it wasn’t reclining anymore. You looked back at yourself in the mirror, surprised to see you were grinning. It was like you couldn’t help it. 

You glanced out the window out of habit. You were parked on the side of a highway ten miles outside of Hawkins. You knew there were almost no chances of Steve finding you out here, but the adrenaline of the almost kept you looking. 

“Harrington isn’t gonna find us out here. Relax princess.” You gave him a narrow look. “Steve isn’t gonna find us out here.” You nodded once and relaxed back into your seat. He placed a toothpick between his teeth. 

“You never know. He likes to be spontaneous.” 

Billy was so used to sneaking around. Usually it was with girls he didn’t want to be seen with. It was rooted in selfish reasons, almost every time. Almost. He found that sneaking around with you was more exhilarating. Was it because of Steve or had Billy Hargrove actually found himself in love? 

The mere thought made him want to pull away from the situation but he stayed, too stubborn to fight even himself. 

“Would it be so bad if he caught us?” Billy asked. You placed your elbow on the dash between you, holding your chin in your hand. 

“He’d kill you,” you whispered. He looked up at you, the smile on his face creeping wider. 

“I’d like to see him try,” he whispered back, a surprising amount of sincerity in his voice. 

-

“You sure you don’t need a ride today?” Steve was following close behind you. You were weaving through the crowd of rushing students. 

“I’m sure. Thank you though.” If you weren’t so wound up in the heat of the relationship you might’ve still had Steve take you back a couple times a week. Most of the time you were skipping the last period with Billy or you had him taking you home before Steve ever left the school. 

It had been almost a month that you and Billy had been sneaking around. Nancy wasn’t really cutting it anymore, in the way of excuses. She was your friend but she was also your brothers girlfriend so you couldn’t exactly confide in her where you were spending all of your hopeless afternoons. 

You emerged into the parking lot. You both stopped. 

“Where are you going today?”

“Study group.”

“For which class?”

“Chemistry.” He narrowed his eyes on you.

“With who?” 

“Steve I don’t appreciate this line of questioning.” He searched your face for a weakness. You had none. “Tell mom I’ll be back before dinner.” You could tell he wanted to argue but had nothing to back himself up with. “Goodbye Steve.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You wound me. Goodbye Steve.” 

“Are you still going to the party tonight at Thompsons?” 

“Yeah. I’ll be back in plenty of time for that,” you promised. He nodded once, suspiciously. 

He started to back up and ran right into someone. With his flurry of apologies you were able to sneak away. You walked around the back of the school, searching in your bag for the cigarette you had stolen from Billy that morning. You found it after a moment. You fought with your lighter for a moment before placing it between your lips and landing between buildings next to the racetrack. 

Billy was already there. 

“Where’d you get that?” he asked, gesturing to your lips. You took it between your fingers to leave a chaste kiss on his mouth. 

“Found it in my boyfriend's car.” 

“Shouldn’t be dating a guy that smokes. Bad for you,” he hummed, taking it from you. “How was your day sweetheart?” You shrugged. 

“I’m skipping PE next time. I’d rather be caught dead than in that locker room again.”

“You girls have it easy. You can feign a broken nail.”

“Don’t be a douche.” You took your cigarette back. “You act like you ever come to PE.”

“Basketball counts towards my PE elective,” he promised. “I spend plenty of time in the locker rooms.” You raised an eyebrow. 

“Slightly suggestive Hargrove. What are you doing in the locker room that long?” He rolled his eyes. 

“We’re even now.” You nodded once. He approached you and you slung your hands over his shoulders. Smoke emerged from behind him, trailing from the cig. He leaned forward and kissed you. You were addicted to kissing him. He permanently tasted like beer and bad decisions. You wondered lazily if the nicotine on his lips added to your dependency. “You comin to the party tonight?”

“Yup,” you promised. You hadn’t gotten to see Billy break Steve’s keg record in person yet and the sheer idea of it got you excited. When he kissed you again he was smiling. His hands wandered from your hips at the sound of your moan against his lips. 

“I just need to grab something from the locker room.” 

Your eyes shot straight open at the sound of a familiar voice coming down the alley. You pushed Billy off of you, leaving you against the wall heaving, a cigarette still burning between your fingers. 

Steve was at the end of the alley, Nancy trailing behind him. She had a firm grip on her bookbag and at the sight of you her jaw set. You could barely even look at Steve but for the sake of everyone, you met his eyes. His eyes fueled immediately with anger. 

“What the fuck are you doing here with my sister Hargrove?” he demanded. Billy was looking ridiculously guilty, the red from your kisses still on his face. 

“I think you know what I was doing here with your sister Harrington.” 

Steve stomped forward in anger, eager to put his fists to use. You rushed between them, putting your hand against Billy’s chest and facing Steve. 

“Steve, calm down.” 

“Is this where you’ve been going every afternoon? You haven’t been studying at all. You’ve been with Billy Hargrove?” A defeated look went over your face. Steve shook his head in betrayal. “Why would you lie to me?” 

“Because I knew you’d react like this!” 

“Because you were making out with Billy Hargrove!” he repeated. 

“I can make my own decisions!” “Clearly not good ones!” Nancy grabbed Steve’s arm, pulling him gently backwards. He didn’t shake her off. 

“Let it go Harrington,” Billy said. Steve lurched forward and Billy walked in front of you, blocking you. You grabbed his shoulder, pulling him backwards. 

“Alright alright,” you muttered. “You need to go cool off Steve.” 

“She’s right,” Nancy said. She looked at Steve with an even gaze. 

“I’ll see you at the party?” you questioned, eager to have this confrontation end. Steve had a hard look on his face, clearly not wanting to exit this conversation. He didn’t answer which was an answer. You’d see him at the party. Steve kept his gaze on Billy until Nancy forced him to turn around. 

The tension dissipated when he left. 

“Jesus,” you muttered. 

“Told you it wouldn’t be that bad.” You hit his shoulder, rolling your eyes. He scoffed, feigning hurt. He threw an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to him by bending his elbow towards your neck. “I get you for a couple more hours then?”

“Seems like it,” you said optimistically. 

“Let’s go get ready for that party then, hm sweetheart?” 

-

You had been to parties before but you only ever went with Steve. You would usually lose him right after you arrived but end up having to drive him home before midnight. He always swore not to get drunk which absolutely meant he was sure to. 

Going with Billy was different. He took you back to his place, somewhere you had never been before. He had you climb in through the window of his room, laughing as he hoisted you up. You threw clothes at him, knowing you weren’t about to wear your school clothes out. He had nothing in the way of girl clothes but helped you sneak into his step moms room when she and his dad went out. 

“Your mom only has mom clothes,” you said, going through her coat hangers. 

“Step-mom,” he corrected. He was looking in the mirror of her vanity, adjusting his hair. You reached into the back, something that felt like it hadn’t been touched since they moved in. You pulled out a dress, though you weren’t sure it was gonna fit. You hummed, wondering if you could find a pair of scissors to make it work. He came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you from behind. He put his head on your shoulder. 

“What about this one?” you asked, holding the fabric in your hands. “I could make it a crop top or maybe a short dress. Some sort of jacket…” you hummed in consideration. 

“Whatever you want. I’m sure she won’t miss it.”

He grabbed you some scissors and you made it your own, satisfied that you were able to go out in it. Then you were back in his car, the music far too loud, and the night air coming in through the cracked windows. By the time you arrived at the Thompsons residence the party had already started. You could hear the music from the car and could see the half drunk people loitering around the deck. Billy got out of the car, surveying the area, and was immediately noticed by one of the basketball players you didn’t recognize. 

You followed him inside, his hand remaining in yours as he dragged you along through the crowd. You kept crashing into people but he kept your hands together, dependent on your touch. You emerged near the punch bowl that was almost certainly not punch. 

“We should’ve pregamed,” you muttered. The smile that came over his face was mischievous and alluring. He had opted only to wear his black leather jacket to the party, not bothering with a shirt underneath. The amount of people there required you to be so close you were almost touching, not that you minded. 

“I’ll drink enough to say we did,” he promised. He leaned over, giving you a sloppy kiss that tasted like whatever was in this punch. You hummed, melting into his touch. He held you up with a hand on your hip. 

When he pulled away he was already dragging you outside. You emerged through the sliding glass doors. You were surprised at the burst of cold air, despite the fact that there were maybe more people out there than there had been inside. It was like the entire senior class was here. 

“Hey Hargrove!” one of the basketball players called. You thought maybe his name was Travis but you weren't sure enough to call out to him. You knew it started with a T. “We’ve been saving this one for you!” Travis slapped the metal keg on the ground. You scoffed, looking at it in dismay. You would have one hell of a headache in the morning after that. Billy whistled at the sight of it. He let go of your hand and you couldn’t hear his voice over the people trying to talk to him. You crossed your arms, watching with curious eyes as someone made the deliberation on who would get to lift him up over it. 

You shook your head in amazement. Billy looked back at you, a reckless smile on his face. You raised your eyebrows at his gaze. He gestured to the keg. 

“Show me how it’s done!” you called. The smile on his face grew. The cockiness of it edged at the lines of his lips. He looked ridiculously good. 

He let two people lift him over it. 

You had practically forgotten about Steve. It seemed like he was a whole other universe of issues. Right now it was just you and Billy and the hundred other seniors that were around. There were not many thoughts going through your head as you watched Billy, the pull towards him suddenly undeniable. 

“Where’d you get that outfit?” 

Steve broke your thoughts. You turned to find him standing beside you. You hadn’t even noticed him approaching.

“None of your business.”

“Mom’s pissed. She made you dinner.”

“Don’t act like you don’t skip dinner all the time.” Your voice would’ve been a mutter had it not been so loud. People had started chanting, counting down, screaming Billy’s name. 

“You’re making a mistake!” Steve called over everyone. “He’s not a good guy!” 

“Some could say you aren’t either!” 

It was a slightly low blow, making him think about the things he had said and done just last year. 

“He won’t change!” Steve argued. 

They put Billy down, cheering followed. 

“Keg King prevails!” someone yelled, slapping him on the back. Billy wiped his face aggressively, yelling along with them. He turned around, completely blind to Steve, and kissed you as hard as could. You could still taste the beer on his lips, his breath aching of it. The cheering continued, only intensified at the kiss. 

You could’ve sat there forever if Steve hadn’t pulled him off you by the shoulder. 

Billy, hyped on adrenaline, turned to face your brother. He still had a hand on you but quickly let go when he noticed who had pulled him away. He puffed his chest. 

“You gonna tell me to stay away from your sister Harrington?” 

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m gonna tell you.” You became aware that most people were watching this unfold. Their eyes hadn’t left Billy. He seemed to do one entertaining thing after the next. 

“Why don’t you make me?” 

“Okay guys-” you started but was cut off by Steve throwing a punch. You gasped, not expecting actual violence to ensue. Billy, always eager to use his fists, didn’t hesitate to fight back. He pushed Steve against the sliding glass door, shattering it. Your eyes went wide, unsure how to even handle this. 

People were cheering and groaning on Steve’s behalf. 

Steve scrambled up, throwing his whole body at Billy. 

“I’m not drunk enough for this,” you muttered. You rushed to follow them as they took the fight in the house. You hadn’t been here for ten minutes before you were sure the police would be called. 

Billy staggered, throwing a punch that missed. Steve grabbed a lamp off the counter and hit him with it. 

“Okay! Okay that’s enough!” You pushed through the people, trying to get in between them. Before you could Billy hit Steve with a china plate that was on display in the corner of the room. You winced, watching your brother crumble against the kitchen counter. You threw yourself between them, pushing Billy back. He had a crazed adrenaline pumping look in his eyes. 

You shoved him back, gently and then turned back to Steve who was struggling to stand. You found Nancy in the crowd, who heard the commotion. She was drunk, you could tell in her eyes, but not enough to not understand what was going on. She helped you help Steve up. 

“It’s time to go home,” you said, evenly. Nancy wasn’t sober enough to drive. “I’ll call you a cab or something.” 

“I’ll make him wait outside and think about his actions,” Nancy muttered. The event cleared her head quickly. “I’ve got it.” 

“No, no, you don’t get to leave here with him. He’s not good for you!” Steve exclaimed. 

“Steve, I can make my own decisions!” You turned to Nancy. “You got him?” She nodded, swallowing hard. He had a cut down his forehead but it looks superficial. Plus, if anyone was capable, it was Nancy Wheeler. 

“But-” Steve started.

“You can’t protect me forever,” you said, cutting him off. He met your eyes and pursed his lips. “Go home.” 

“You too.” 

He followed Nancy out. When you turned around Billy was breathing hard. He was being spoken to in all directions. You turned back to him and noticed that the lamp had gotten the side of his head good. His hair was starting to turn red on the left side of his head. 

You were going to speak when you heard someone scream. 

“Police!” 

You breathed out sharply. You weren’t prepared for this much excitement. You grabbed Billy’s arm who in turn, led you out the back. Everyone was running and you could barely see him in the dark with his black leather jacket on. He jumped the neighbors fence without a second thought. You followed close behind until you returned back to the car where you had come from. You had parked down the street a bit, which ended up being your saving grace in the night. You could see the police lights back at the house, not even a block away. 

Billy unlocked the car. 

“You are not driving,” you exclaimed, voice sharp. 

“I’m fine,” he responded, voice rushed. 

“You are the opposite of fine,” you grumbled, grabbing the keys from him. “Passenger seat.” He didn’t move. “Now!” You weren’t sure if it was the pain or the alcohol but he listened to you. He got into the passenger seat of the camaro. You started the car, cursing gently as it revved. You backed up and pulled away in the opposite direction from the Thompsons.

The music turned on naturally but it was a silent rumble to the heavy breathing you both were exhaling. 

It took five minutes for either of you to speak. 

“We need to get your head looked at,” you said, now that you were able to see and think straight. He nodded. 

“I’ve got a first aid kit in the back.” 

“Why do you have a first aid kit in the back?” 

“You’d be surprised how often this happens.”

“You used to stitching yourself up?” “I find bandaids work just fine.” You rolled your eyes. You didn’t want to go back to your house, knowing it’s likely where Nancy took Steve. You hoped they had made it home safe and weren’t victims of the police raid. You didn’t want to take Billy back to his place, knowing you had stolen his step moms shirt and unsure how they would react to finding him like this. 

You pulled over onto the side of the highway. It was only 10. It wasn’t completely deserted but the traffic had eased enough for you to be comfortable pulling aside. You climbed into the backseat, rummaging around his jackets. You found the first aid kit and then returned to the driver's seat. Billy was breathing evenly. You found a ghost of a smile on his face. 

You opened up the kit and placed it on your lap before looking back up at him. 

“Stay still,” you muttered. He did as he was told. You moved his hair aside to find the actual wound. He was bleeding from his noise from a punch but that didn’t look broken, just bruised. It was the open wound that worried you. You seethed. It didn’t look deep but it didn’t look good. 

“You good sweetheart?” You rolled your eyes. 

“Yeah I’m fine.” You looked down at the kit and grabbed some wet wipes, trying to clear the blood away. He winced. 

“How are you doin sweetheart?” you teased. He scoffed. 

“I’m alright,” he promised. You worked in silence for a moment. 

“You didn’t have to do that.” 

“Yes I did. He wanted a fight. He got one.” You couldn’t deny the truth in his statement. Steve would’ve fought him eventually. “And I won.” He turned his head to meet your eyes. “I get to keep you.” You flushed, narrowing your eyes at him. 

“What makes you think I wanna keep you? Now that we aren’t sneaking around anymore?” 

“You're covered in my blood,” he muttered. Your hands were stained with it. You hadn’t even noticed.

“Point taken.” You cleared your throat. “It doesn’t need stitches. You got lucky.”

“Can’t say the same for Steve.” You suddenly thought of the sound of the plates hitting Steve’s head. You winced on his behalf. He adjusted himself. “I need a shower.”

“You want me to take you home?” 

“No. Don’t wanna face my dad quite yet.”

“Well we can’t go back to my house. Steve is almost surely there.” 

“Then we’ll stay here till we know my dad’s asleep,” he muttered. You nodded and eased in your chair. There was a beat of silence. 

“No one’s ever done anything like that for me before Hargrove.” 

“I like being the first,” he muttered. His hair was fucked up and he had dried blood on his face and bags under his eyes but you had never been more attracted to him. 

“Poor Tammy Thompson. She’s got a broken backdoor, the police and broken lamps,” you whispered. You hadn’t realized your voice had gone down but it felt appropriate for the vibe of the moment. 

“Shouldn’t have had kegs there,” he shrugged. You smiled. 

“Fair.” You saw his eyes drooping in exhaustion. You held your chin in your hand. He had rested his head against the back of his seat. “I think I wanna keep you,” you whispered. He smiled weakly. 

“Good to hear.” You leaned forward, kissing him chastley, to which he responded easily. You placed your hand gently on his cheek, trailing down his skin. He shuddered against your touch. 

You rested your forehead against his. 

You met each other's eyes and a guilty smile played on his lips.

“What?” you whispered, giggling. 

“Nothing,” he promised. “Nothing.” 

Billy Hargrove had fallen in love. But he had no intention of telling you that. Not quite yet.

[yourfavoritewitchbitch]

Evermore - Steve's Ending

Series Summary: It's been 7 years since the love of your life left you behind for his career. When he decides to come back, is it too late to start anew? Will you decide to start over or realize what's been right in front of you this whole time?

Just a small note: Thank you all for sticking around with me on this small journey! Enjoy!

Masterlist found here!

18+ Only! MDNI!

Warnings: Reader is referred to as "Peach". AFAB reader. Tad bit if angst at the beginning, mostly fluff. SMUT. Unprotected P in V. Creampie.

Word Count: 6k

You turned the car around to head over to a house you knew fairly well. You’d been here a couple of times since he had moved Wayne out of Forest Hills.

The black sedan he’d rented sat in the drive as you pulled in behind it, shutting the ignition off and taking a deep breath. You sat there a few moments trying to gather yourself.

You slowly moved from the driver’s seat, as your feet that currently felt like chunks of lead, carried you up the drive. You took the steps one by one until you were face to face with the door.

You hesitantly lifted your fist, knocking three quick times, holding your breath in the process.

Muffled voices came through, he was standing before you as the door swung open. Bright eyes, but a little surprised to see you.

“Peach.” He breathed out.

“Hi Eddie.” You smiled, genuinely. Deep down he knew why you were here. “Can I come in?”

“Sure, sure.” He nodded, moving out of the way for you to enter.

You followed him into the kitchen. “Want something to drink?”

“No, I’m good. Come, sit with me.” He took the chair across from you, bracing for the worst.

“Eddie, I just came to tell you that our kiss wasn’t a mistake, but it made me realize that I should have closed that chapter of my life when you left me. I need to move forward, so should you.” You watched his whole demeanor deflate.

“You shattered my heart, and I was waiting for a different version of you to come back home. We're in such different places in our lives now. I… I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. It’s not like I wasn’t expecting it, Peach. But uh… You’ll be seeing me around. I’m not leaving Hawkins. I’m staying with Wayne for a while. Taking some steps to stay sober.”

“Eddie, that’s great. I’m so proud of you!” beaming at him. God he was going to miss that.

“Yeah, already smoothed it over with the boys.”

You both grew silent. Unsure of what to say next.

“Peach, it's ok. I shouldn't have been expecting you to drop everything and pick up where we left off like everything was fine. I can't tell we’ve both changed.” His eyes told a different story, but you didn't say as much.

“So, I guess I'll be seeing you around Hawkins. Come by the Hideout sometime. Maybe you can show these kids you can still rock.” You grinned as he laughed.

“Sure! I'll do that.” His smile grew, but you were unsure if he'd actually take you up on the offer.

“Well, I've got to get going.”

“I'll, uh… walk you out.”

You both stood, him leading the way opening the door as you began to descend the stairs.

“Hey Peach, maybe when you are ready to love someone again, don’t look so far, huh?”

You looked at him, brows pinched in confusion.

“What are you talking about Eddie?”

“You’ve always been oblivious when it comes to him.” Letting out a hearty chuckle. “Bye Peach. I’ll see ya’ around.”

You’ve always been oblivious when it comes to him.

Those words tumbled around in your head as you drove back home.

You didn't want to accept the fact that Eddie saw something you hadn't yet admitted to yourself.

A few days have passed since your conversation with Eddie. You felt you were in a better place, feeling lighter and finally allowing yourself to move on gaining the closure you finally needed.

Steve and Robin weren't entirely convinced. You outwardly seemed fine, but they hovered and watched to make sure you didn't shrink inside yourself.

It was Robin who suggested it.

“Why don't we have a sleepover? Just the three of us like old times?” She blurted out as you all met for lunch one afternoon.

“Who'd watch Maddie?” Steve asked. He didn't want to impose on anyone knowing she usually stayed with either of you if he was busy.

“I'm sure Vickie won't mind. Maddie loves her. Peach, you in?” Looking toward you, wide eyes seemingly begging.

“Why not?” You shrugged.

She couldn't contain the grin that spread across her face as she reached over and hugged you.

“Yes! I'll bring a couple of movies and we can make some popcorn. Could even bring my old sleeping bag. Camp out in the living room all night…”

“I'm stopping you right there Rob.” Steve cut her off before her rambling really picked up. “I’m not 18 anymore. My back and body aren't going to lay on the floor all night.”

You laughed out as she threw a fry at him.

“Party pooper.”

“Daddy, I wan see Peach! I wan go with you and Bobby!” Maddie was protesting from the back seat as he drove over to drop her off with Vickie for the night.

“It's for adults only tonight. You stay at Peach's all the time it's daddy and Bobby's turn. Right? It's not fair you get to have all the fun.” He watched through the rearview as her scrunched brows softened as she thought over his words.

“Just for one night Daddy!” She finally settled down.

“Right, baby. One night.” He let out a small laugh, smiling to himself knowing how much she loves you as she finally busied herself with looking out the window.

He pulled into Robin's, helping Maddie from her seat as she made a beeline for the door. Knocking excitedly, not giving Steve a second glance when Robin opened it.

“Hey bug! Vickie's in the kitchen getting some yummy snacks together.” She said, bending down to greet her.

She stood, meeting Steve carrying all of Maddie's overnight gear.

“Hey Dingus!” She said, taking her small Baby Bop backpack from him.

“Ready to go?” He placed the rest of her stuff on the couch.

“Uh… about that.” He snapped his head toward her. “Don't get mad, but I'm not going.” She anxiously smiled, trying to deflect, holding up her hands.

“This was your idea, Robin! What do you mean you aren't going?” He huffed, placing his hands on his hips.

“And this was also my idea. You can go have a nice night. Look,” she produced a couple of rentals. “You can watch a couple of movies and talk about your feelings. Perfect! And you'll have all night to do…things. Whatever you get up to.”

She grinned wide, proud of herself and her foolproof plan as she looked back at his very unamused frown.

“Steve, just listen to me. She turned Eddie down and it's so painfully obvious to everyone but you two. You're both idiots. Just talk to her! Tell her how you feel! I'm tired of seeing you mope around.”

“I do not mope, and I just don't think I should bring it up right now.” He sighed, already exasperated.

“When's the right time, Steve? You've had 7 years to make a move. You know where she stands with Eddie. It's now or never!”

She grabbed his hand, pulling him toward and out the door.

“Now go!” Shoving the VHS tapes into his chest.

“Have fun!” Slamming the door in his face, not letting him argue or protest.

“Shit.” He breathed out, knowing she was right.

You'd gotten the house ready. Grabbing extra blankets for the living room, in case Robin held you to actually staying in there all night.

It would be good for you to spend time with them.

You totally hadn't been ignoring Steve because you were trying to hide from him and your rather obvious feelings, right?

After Eddie's comment it had you questioning everything. You and Steve were best friends, he wasn't in love with you. Was he?

Your inner crisis had to wait as you heard the front door open.

The hugs that lasted a little longer, the soft touches and sweet looks… fuck.

“Peach?” Steve called out.

“In the kitchen! I'm making your favorite by the way.” You called back, as he came into view.

“Hi.” He grinned, waving as he entered, sitting his overnight bag down on the counter.

“Hi. Where's Rob?” You looked past him, expecting her to follow in behind.

“Uh, she's not feeling well.” He placed his hands into his pockets, shrugging. “Guess it's just us tonight.”

“And that's a bad thing? You look like someone kicked your puppy.” You eyed him warily.

“No, I just didn't want you to be disappointed. S’all.” Shrugging again as he took a seat at the bar, noticing the way his cheeks blushed slightly. Steve was so painfully pretty. The way his shirt was tight over his chest and biceps when he leaned his arms on the counter, had you staring just a little too long.

“Why would I be disappointed? You're my best friend Steve. I love spending time with you.” You smiled, and turned back to the stove, trying to hide the way that your own cheeks heated at your thoughts.

“Steve, are you okay?” Knocking him from his current train of thought.

Best friend. Best friend. Best friend. He didn't need any reminders. His head and heart were both at odds with themselves already. And you were standing there looking absolutely beautiful in just a hoodie and some old shorts, his hoodie. Fuck.

“Hmmm, yeah. I'm fine. Need some help?” He smiled, trying to hide any hint of discomfort.

You put him to work chopping some veggies for a salad. It was easy with him. The way you both moved so fluid around the kitchen. Easing around each other because you've done it a million times before.

Steve was relaxing a little more as you chatted and got the rest of the food prepared but you could tell something was still bothering him.

“Hey Stevie,” catching his attention with a cupcake you pulled from a covered dish on the counter. “Want to ruin our appetites with dessert first?”

“Yes, please. God, I love your cupcakes.” He went to take it, but you pulled it back just out of reach, making him frown with his perfect pouty lips on display. Perfectly pouty and kissable lips.

You slowly peeled the liner from the spongy cake, as he watched you intently.

“You can have one, once you tell me what's bugging you.” You took a bite, with an over exaggerated hum of satisfaction. “Mmmm, so good.”

Frosting was left behind on your lip, that you quickly licked away, he couldn't help but watch the way your mouth moved. It was so unfair the way you were torturing him without even knowing it.

You, on the other hand, were completely aware of the way he was currently licking his own lips watching you.

“Here, have a bite you pouty baby.” Relenting and pushing the cake up toward him.

Instead of letting him take a bite, you shoved it a little upward. Frosting now dotting the end of his nose and top lip, he put his hands on his hips as you flew into a fit of giggles.

“Oh, yeah okay. Laugh it up.” Tongue in his cheek, trying not to give himself away. It was good to hear your laughter. Opposed to the tears you'd been shedding the last couple of times he's seen you.

He turned, dragging his finger through the frosting of another cake and holding it up.

“Paybacks a bitch, Peach.” Wiggling it toward you.

“No, Steve. No.” You started to back up but were caught in the corner of the counter. Nowhere to run as he advanced toward you.

He quickly grabbed the wrist that was still holding onto the chocolatey cake so you couldn't use it against him, as you tried to push him away, but his arms were longer than yours, hand pressed to his chest, still protesting. Easily maneuvering, he plopped the frosting at the end of your nose.

“There now we're even.” His laughter rang out, but he didn't make an attempt to pull away just yet wondering if you were going to try to keep this little game going.

You smiled, watching the way his eyes crinkled with his big, bright grin but then it suddenly felt too hot in the small space. His chest expands with each breath, warm beneath your fingers. All too aware when his laughter faded, and you were left staring at each other.

“Steve?” You asked, almost breathless.

“Yeah?” He searched your eyes for an answer. Anything to give him the go ahead.

“You can let go of my wrist now.”

“Right, sorry.” He let go, but you still felt his lingering warmth. He'd touched you countless times before but this felt different.

You reached for the napkins beside you, wiping the frosting from your nose. He stood there watching you until you pressed the napkin to his face, wiping the remnants from him as well. He exhaled a little loudly, as if he had been holding his breath.

He backed up, but you grabbed his forearm, holding his gaze, his caramel, mossy lined eyes staring back at you curiously.

You didn't realize the moment you inched forward, but your feet and body seemed to be moving on their own accord.

“Steve?” Inching forward still.

“Yeah?” He swallowed, eyes darting down to your lips and back up.

“Do… you want to kiss me?” Coming out a little raspy.

“Do you want me to kiss you?” He asked, hesitantly reaching his hands up to rest on your hips.

Your hand travels to his cheek, stubble prominent from the day scratching at your palm as your thumb barely traces his bottom lip. Hearing his breath hitch sends you into overdrive.

His fingertips find the exposed skin at your side as your (his) hoodie rides up, gripping just a little harder onto your plush, warm skin.

You're telling yourself to stop, but the back of your mind is telling you to dive, to fall headfirst because he'll be there to catch you, no matter what happens.

Your nose finally grazes his, chests pressing together. You close your eyes, lips grazing his as you speak.

“Is this what you want?”

His only answer is closing the small distance between you.

The moment your lips meet it feels like they tell you how it's supposed to feel in all those fairytales and movies. All those stories could never prepare you for the reality of it. Like it was always meant to be.

It was warm sunshine on your skin after winter’s long embrace. Heating you from the inside out.

His lips are softer than you expected, faintly tasting of the cherry Chapstick he always keeps in the car, as your lips mold perfectly to his.

He gently tilts his head, nose pushed into your cheek. He’s pulling your hips into his, tongue grazing your bottom lip, a silent plea as you grant him the access he so desperately craves.

He's dreamt of this very moment more times than he would like to admit.

He's hoping, praying it isn't a dream he's going to wake up from at any moment. He's barely had a taste and can't get enough. He'll never have enough of you.

His mind's racing, your lips, tongue, the way you taste. It's all he can think about.

Your tongues glide along one another, as your hand reaches the nape of his neck, trying to pull him closer as he backs you up into the counter.

Your kiss gets a little more needy, pulling at each other.

Pushing his hips into yours, his hard length presses into your lower stomach as he swallows another wanton moan drawn from you.

He surprises you when his hands suddenly wander to your ass kneading a moment before hauling you up quickly to sit on the counter making you break away from him with a loud squeak, hanging onto his neck.

He easily slots himself between your parted thighs bringing his forehead to yours, gently squeezing the plush of your hips, then moving to rest his hands on each of your thighs. Thumbs rubbing softly across your bare skin, just skimming under the fabric of your thin shorts.

His eyes were blown wide, as he stared down at you. The caramel mossy irises now just a small ring, rimmed around the almost black pools full of lust mixed with adoration.

“Is… is this, okay?” He asks, giving you an out.

“Yeah, Stevie. It's better than okay.” You rake your fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his face.

“I.." "we" you both began.

Laughing at the absurdity of it all. This was Steve, your best friend for the better part of your lives but it was suddenly a little stifling.

You felt bashful under his gaze. Cheeks heating at the possibilities of what might come next.

You wanted him. All of him. Knowing right then and there that one night would never be enough with him.

Grabbing the front of his shirt, you pulled him forward with ease as your lips meet once more. The timidness long gone; you were both greedy. In dire need of more.

Your hands grasp the fabric in your hold, as his begin to roam. Up past your thighs, landing on your hips once more. Trailing up a little further under the hoodie, his fingers found your exposed waist. The soft touch sending goosebumps across your flesh and a little spark to your core making you release a breathy moan that made him grin into your kiss, knowing just his touch could pull those sweet little sounds from you.

His thumb grazed the underside of your breast, making you keen into his touch, craving more, rolling your hips forward looking for a little friction.

Realizing you weren't wearing a bra underneath, he groans, pulling away slightly as if asking for permission, searching your face for any hesitation. You nod quickly, unable to hide your desperation.

His lips found your jaw as his large hand engulfed you fully under your shirt, kneading you softly before his thumb grazes over your nipple causing it to peak stiffly under his touch.

“Fuck, Steve.” You whine out, pushing your chest further into his palm, your head falling back, exposing more of your throat to him.

His lips find a sweet spot right below your jaw, sucking lightly before soothing it with his hot tongue.

You slowly move your hand down his chest and abdomen, hesitating just a moment before you find the outline of his stiff cock beneath his jeans. He hisses lowly as you palm him, breath hitching, hips bucking on their own, as he stops his current ministrations.

“Peach, I… fuck…” his forehead meets yours, arm curling around your waist, pulling you toward him as your core finally meets him.

You roll your hips into his, clit catching on the denim through the fabric that separates you so cruelly, wrapping your legs around his lithe waist holding him there as you moan in unison.

You look up at him through your lashes, he looks as wrecked as you feel, and he hasn't even touched you where you need him the most.

His eyes are closed tightly, brow pinched, and lips parted, releasing a shaky exhale.

“Steve?” You ask.

“Hmmm? Yeah?” Finally looking at you.

“Bedroom?” You smile, tucking your bottom lip between your teeth.

“Yes. Fuck, please.” He nodded, helping you down from the counter. Your body pressed tightly to his as you slid down.

He grinned that soft, lopsided smile as you took his hand in yours pulling him out of the kitchen. He held onto you tightly as you raced up the stairs, giggling like a couple of horny teens.

Pushing your bedroom door open, you swallowed the lump that seemed to be stuck in your throat, as he hesitated at the threshold. An invitation to your bedroom meant more than just sleeping over as friends.

There was a line drawn that you were about to cross. It would mean something more, be something more.

Kissing him had been toeing the line, this would be jumping headfirst.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" He asked whether for you or him you weren't sure.

"I'm sure. I want you, Steve. I… I need you.”

He crossed the threshold, kicking the door shut behind as he entered. Closing the small distance between you in just a few short strides.

One arm snaked around your back, the other palm to your cheek, fingers extending into your hair.

He pulled your face close, nose gliding down the slope of yours as your forehead met his. You moved your hands, one to his bicep and the other on top of the hand that held your cheek.

"Say it again, please." His lips grazed your top lip as he spoke. Wanting to take your mouth fully but he needed to hear those words once more. Making sure it's what you want. Confirming you want this just as badly as he does.

"Steve, I want you. I want all of you.”

That was all it took. His lips met yours once more. A searing kiss but had you begging for more. It was sloppy, teeth and tongues clashing.

He moved forward into your space, your hips meeting his. Taking the hint, you started to walk backwards toward the bed all the while, your lips massaged across his.

When you reach the edge of the bed, he guides you back to lay down. Caging you in. Slotting himself between your thighs as he pressed his clothed length where you need it the most, rolling his hips slightly.

He suddenly stops, body a little rigid and huffs out a small laugh fanning out across your face.

“What? What is it?” Searching his features, a little dopey smile as he pinched his nose.

"Fuck. I uh…," he giggled then. "I don't have a condom; not like I've had any action in… oh I don't know. How old is Maddie, again?"

You lightly smacked his arm and laughed out as well.

It was so sweet, watching him struggle with the words but you weren't any better off.

You looked at him, all innocent eyes when you spoke.

“Thank God for birth control, right? I'm on the pill Steve. You can even cum in me, if you want.”

His dick throbbed with your words, as he buried his head into your neck and groaned.

“You can't say shit like that. I'm already so fucking hard.”

“I know, I can tell. Now take your clothes off.” Nipping lightly at his jaw.

In one swift motion, he sits back on his heels, pulling his shirt over his head. You can't help but admire his bronzed body, still kissed by the summer sun. You've seen him shirtless plenty of times, but it was like seeing him for the first time in a new light.

Your eyes follow the hair from his chest down to the top of his jeans.

“Your turn.” He smirks, as he helps you sit up, taking it upon himself to find the hem of his hoodie and pull it up slowly over your body.

The moment you can't see, hoodie up over your eyes, your chest is exposed. You hear his breath hitch just a moment before you feel his lips latch to your pert nipple. So caught off guard, you barely wrenched the fabric off of your head letting out an obscenely loud moan as he lays you back on the mattress.

“Fuck, Steve.” Your hands find his hair and tugs as he moves to the other, swirling his tongue over you. His hand glides down your soft stomach slipping past the top of your shorts.

You suck in a breath, as his fingers brush past your clit, delving between your already soaked folds making your back arch off the bed with a whine.

His mouth leaves you with a pop.

“You're soaked, honey.” He grins, pulling his hand away, placing his lips back across your chest.

“Tease,” you cry out as he smiles against your skin.

He pulls back once more, hooking his fingers into your shorts, pulling them down and tossing them somewhere across the room. He takes a moment to appreciate you. Eyes not sure where to land.

“You're so beautiful, Peach.” He hums, getting up to pull his own pants off. He unbuttons them, locking eyes with yours, pushing them and his boxers down in one swift motion.

You knew he was big, but all those rumors from high school were true, he was huge. Your mouth hung open just a little, as you watched him spit into his palm bringing it back down to tug on his stiff cock. He was long and thick, curving slightly upward. His ruddy tip leaking a pearly bead of precum, as his thumb glides over the top smearing it back down his length.

“Fuck, Steve.” The sight has your cunt clenching around nothing, aching to be filled.

He crawls back over you, pushing your thighs apart, so he can see your pussy on full display for him. Your folds glisten with your slick, making his cock kick up at the sight before him.

“All that for me? Fuck… Peach, I'm going to be honest with you. I need to feel you, I need to be inside of you but I'm probably not going to last.”

You giggle at his confession, endearing as it was.

“It's okay, I need you too. Please, just fuck me, Steve.”

Your words, your body, everything has such an effect on him. He's afraid as soon as he gets in he's going to blow his load right then and there.

He leaned in to kiss you once more. Less feverish, less needy. Languidly his lips move against yours. Tongues intertwined, tasting and taking from each other all you were willing to give.

He was leaned up on one arm by your head, reaching between you both, fingers dancing across your slit before pushing through your folds, easing into your entrance.

Your head flew back at the sudden intrusion, mouth going slack, as he began to circle your clit with his thumb pumping his fingers slightly.

“So fucking tight, I… fuck. I need you.”

He pulled his fingers away, taking hold of himself and slid it in between your folds. Bumping your clit, once, twice, three times, moaning out his name. He could die a happy man hearing you so breathless for him just for him.

He lined himself up with your entrance. The tip slightly breaching, already feeling like he's going to split you open.

He pressed in, inch by inch, already keening into him from the feeling of his girth breaching your walls, filling you completely. You moaned into each other's mouths. No longer kissing, exchanging short, labored breaths.

Your eyes were closed, relishing in the stretch, the slight burn trying to accommodate him as he bottomed out.

"Steve," you breathed out.

"Mmmm, yeah?" Almost too gone in the feeling of you.

"You can move." You giggled, as he groaned again.

"Yeah, just… I need just a minute." He breathed out, a little ragged. Trying to compose himself.

You let out a small giggle as you nodded.

"Don't, I can feel you moving when you laugh. You're clenching me.”

"Sorry, Stevie." You kissed his forehead, at the same time he moved his hips, withdrawing almost all the way before sheathing himself back in, burying himself completely.

Whatever you were about to say, died on your lips as you gasped, the feeling knocking the breath from you.

He set a pace that had you both moaning. You gripped his shoulders to ground yourself in the feeling of him.

"Oh God, Steve. Y'… You feel so good." He wasn't rushing, his pace near languid. You could feel every ridge and vein moving within your walls.

He hummed in response.

"You feel so much better than I could have imagined. So fucking tight, so fucking warm."

"You thought about this alot, hmm?" You quipped.

"Yeah, yeah. I have." He kissed your lips once more. A peck before slightly picking up the pace.

In and out. In and out. The heat in your belly started to pool. He was stimulating that spot within you with each pass, as your cunt fluttered around him.

“Fuck, are… are you close?” He hissed out, hips starting to lose their rhythm.

“Yeah, but I know you are too. Cum in me Steve.”

Your words hurdled him over the edge. His lower stomach tightened as he began to spill within you. Thick ropes of his cum painted your walls. A few more languid thrusts, he stilled. Falling forward, chests pressed impossibly close. He let his head fall in the juncture of your neck.

You reached up, fingers playing with his hair lightly at the nape of his neck.

“I'm so sorry. You… I thought you might be closer. It's just been so long, and you felt so fucking good.” Coming out a little muffled, lips pressed to your skin.

“Steve,” you pressed on his chest, “it's okay.”

“No, no. It's not. Can I taste you? I just want you to feel good too.” Sitting up, his face lit up at the prospect.

“Yeah, but you just came…”

“It's ok baby, just lay back. I'll take care of you.” His lips curled into a devilish smirk, as he finally pulled out his softening cock. His spend leaking slowly out of you, onto the sheets below.

“God, you're a mess baby.”

He pulled your legs apart, pushing himself onto the mattress, face so close to where you wanted him. His broad palm held one thigh, as he began trailing light kisses to the other.

“Please, don't tease me.” You whined, as his tongue licked a broad strip up your folds, the tip circling your clit, effectively cutting you off.

“Oh fuck, Steveeeee.” You whined out, hips bucking up, as he pushed you back down, pinning you in place.

His lips sucked your clit harshly, tongue swirling over the bundle of nerves setting you a blaze, humming as you tugged his tousled locks.

His finger circled your entrance, a mixture of his cum and your arousal making it easy to slip his finger in, pulling it back and quickly adding another.

He began pumping, then curling upward to reach that spot that would have you seeing stars in no time.

“Oh, Steve.” Breathless, as you brought your hands up to your breasts pinching your nipples. It didn't go unnoticed, as he groaned watching you.

“Fuck, your perfect,” he murmured into your pussy. Quickly pressing his tongue back to you moving rapidly, fingers continuing their assault against your frontal wall.

“Right… right there. Don't stop!” He kept the pace, lifting his eyes to watch you come undone.

Your eyes fluttered closed, brows pinched tight with concentration. You were so close now.

A few more licks and fingertips brushing that perfect spot, you gasped out. It felt like you were on fire from the inside out. It was pure bliss as those fireworks flew behind your eyes.

“That's it, baby. Come on my fingers. Come f’me.”

He worked you through it, until you had to push his mouth away.

He slowly crawled up to lay beside you as you tried to slow your heavy breathing, opening your eyes to him grinning wide, a sheen of arousal still coated his chin before he wiped it away with the back of his hand.

“Hi,” turning onto your side to face him as he does the same.

“Hi. Was… was that, ok?” He asked a little sheepishly.

“That was amazing, Stevie.” You giggled. “You might have to work on your stamina a little.”

He grabbed a pillow and threw it at you, laughing out, hauling you into his chest. The laughter subsided as you stared up at him, hand splayed over his heart.

“Peach, I hope this isn't a one-time thing… Fuck.” He rolled over on his back, covering his face with his hands, as he groaned. You could tell he was at odds with himself.

Reaching up, you tugged his wrist lightly.

“Hey, look at me. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here. With you. You… don't regret it, do you?” Sinking into yourself at the thought.

“God no. I… I just… I'm in love with you. I think I've always been in love with you. I don't think I can go back to the way things were… if this… if you…” He closed his eyes, letting out a heavy sigh, ready for a letdown.

“I know, Stevie. I want this. I want us. You, me and Maddie. I can't imagine my life without you. I love you, Steve Harrington. I'm sorry it took me this long to realize it.”

His raised up, eyes softening at your admission. Hand coming to cradle your head, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Nodding, as your lips meet.

After what felt like hours of talking, he slowly fucked you into the mattress. The urgency was no longer there, and you were free to explore each other slowly.

Whispering “I love yous”, kissing, touching. Seemingly making up for lost time.

He watched you fall apart beneath him as his cock split you open, spilling inside of you once more soon after.

As you laid beside each other, coming down from your highs, he whispered in the dark.

“Can I keep you?”

Your answer came with a kiss, wanting nothing more than to always be his.

You finally pulled yourselves away from bed, thoroughly spent. Showering together and then making it back down to the kitchen for cold spaghetti, long forgotten between confessions and a love drunk haze. You made sure he got a cupcake this time.

With full bellies and full hearts, you snuggled in close to him. Pressed into his side with your head on his chest.

You were happy, with a man that you were undoubtedly in love with, jumping in headfirst.

The sun brought soft kisses in between the sheets, reluctantly untangling yourselves knowing that Robin would be dropping Maddie by soon.

You sipped coffee together and cuddled close on the couch before making breakfast. It all came so naturally for the both of you.

He couldn't keep his hands off of you. Soft touches to your lower back as he passed by. Squeezing softly at your hips as he came up behind you, pressing his lips to your temple and you couldn't get enough.

The door opened just as you were about to sit down for your meal, tiny feet running quickly through the house.

“Peachhhhh! Daddyyyy!” Maddie yelled, bounding into the kitchen. Bright eyes and chubby cheeks, as she ran straight over to you.

“Hey baby!” Hugging her tightly to your chest as you picked her up. “Did you have a good time with Bobby?”

“Yeah, she let me stay up til’ late an… an then we eat popcorn, but I missed you.” She threw her small arms around your neck.

“Hey!” Robin walked in, throwing Steve a sideways glance.

He just grinned and took a sip of coffee, looking down at his cup as his cheeks heated, turning the slightest shade of pink.

“Well?” She asked, already knowing the answer with his flustered appearance.

“Uh, yeah, Rob. We uh… finally had that talk.” He said, leaning back on the counter, smirking toward you.

“Well, we are going to talk all about this. Not right now of course. Oh my God. I can't believe you finally did it! Steve, you look really happy, and I can tell by that grin you got la…” Slapping a hand over her mouth, realizing what she almost said in front of tiny ears.

“I mean you got… lasagna… Yeah.”

“Nice save, Rob.” You snorted, sitting Maddie down as she ran over to Steve. “He did get spaghetti though.”

“Is that… is that supposed to be code for something?” She looked confused between the two of you. “You know what, never mind. I'm leaving. I'll call later. Bye Maddie!” She called over her shoulder.

You turned, grabbing your coffee and looked over to Steve and Maddie chatting away in the corner. She was telling him all about her night, with big enthusiastic giggles.

Her big hazel eyes and fluffy morning hair, mirroring his perfectly.

He was so focused on her, face lit up with every little detail he didn't notice the way you were staring at them.

A little teary eyed, you were so full of happiness as you watched them. Ready to start a new journey with these people you loved.

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

Suspicious.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Reader.

Gaz and you were friends during your childhood and teenage years, such a surprise when you find him out of the building where you're working.

PT2

Warning: spelling and grammatical errors, maybe is not good enough but I had the idea stuck in my head. Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

You were late, just at the worst time your car decided to not work, the bus was late too, the subway was having electric problems, you were running through the town, you changed your clothes in a public bathroom close to the building where you will be working.

You're wearing black, you have a gun and pocket knives, some tissues and more, just in case something goes wrong, suddenly, someone collided with you.

- Fuck! Look where you're going asshole!

You started to pick your notebooks, laptop, ipad, cellphone and all the stuff you had on your hands without looking at the stranger who decided to make your day more difficult.

- Y/N?

That voice...

You looked up, is he...? No, there's no way but... Those brown eyes, that black hair, that smile... He kneeled down to help you without leaving eye contact, you're still shocked, you could expect anyone else but him.

- Garrick? Kyle Garrick?

- Yeah! The legend.

You laughed, both stood up and he handed you all the rest of your things.

- Oh my god! Years without seeing or knowing something about you man!

- I Know, I was going to say the same!

- Look at you! Oh lord! You look amazing, you look pretty much better than I remember.

- I always was attractive, I'm just like the Wine, Y/n

- ha-ha! If you say so!

- Where you were going?

You realized you were going somewhere and you were going late.

- holy shit! I have to... Oh... I actually... This is where I was going.

You pointed at the building in front of you, Kyle looked at you and then the building.

- Do you work here?

- Ah... Yeah! I... I do, home office but today they asked me to come, it's an emergency or something.

- What's your job here Y/n?

- oh, you know, I always was a nerd, computers, operative system, security and technologies.

- oh right! I remember my grades at the end of school were magically fixed, thanks to you!

- Yes, my first time hacking something, the system at school, was really funny!

You were so happy to see Kyle, you and him were good friends when you were young, you remember the afternoons after school wasting time at the park, or the lake, parties with your brother's friends, Kyle and you always causing troubles, always side by side, life was good.

- What about you Garrick, I lost your steps after our last summer...

- I joined the army. I shouldn't say it loud but I'm working right now actually

- Ohh, well...You always loved the adrenaline...

- I know, it made me well, I'm working all the time and sometimes I want to take a break but... I love my job, I can't complain.

-Same, ahhh I... I still remember that last summer, you know?

You're not lying, you remember every moment of that last summer, you remember the last time you saw him, things stayed in the air, you wanted to talk about what happened But welcome back to reality, your smartwatch alarm remembered that you needed to run.

- Fuck, fuck... Sorry, Kyle has been a nice moment and I would love to keep talking but I have to go, ok? I'll see you... Around I hope!

- For sure...

You didn't give him time to finish, you ran to the building, nobody paid attention to you, no one noticed the cameras stopped to work, and no one asked you to show your credentials. You took the elevator to the penultimate floor. As soon as you arrived you walked directly to the first door, "Security systems", as you supposed, there's a numeric keypad block.

Easy, you already have that information, you hacked a part of the system. «5-8-9-6-2-7» «access granted».

You took a seat and started to work, all the information from this company was now in your hands inside an external hard drive. You made a call.

- Sir, I have the information you requested, send the money and my transport.

- Well done darling, the transport is on the way. Go to the building's roof, you will find a parachute, use it... Oh! And don't forget to do the other thing, a car will be waiting for you near to the park.

You've been doing this for years, you're a hacker, working in a private company "les hiboux" (the owls). You don't care about the information You're taking, you only care about the payment.

You never had troubles, but, as today you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, troubles were on the way.

Kyle was actually saying the truth, he was working, him and the boys were trying to find the person who had been hacking and selling important information, he was still waiting for someone suspicious.

- Gaz. Who was that?

- Just an old friend Soap. Focus.

- Well, your friend works in that building, casually works with the security...

- I know, I heard it too Ghost.

-And Is the only one who got inside since we arrived.

- Yes, so what?

- Gaz... What if your friend is the person we're trying to capture?

The Captain's question woke Up Kyle's curiosity, he started to repeat inside his head every second of the conversation, you weren't wearing clothes for a job In a company like that, you brought a lot of things with you, every pocket in your clothes looked suspiciously full of stuff, you didn't know where exactly the building was located, you weren't specific about your job in the place. Everything was suspicious.

Kyle finally realized, you're definitely suspicious, he ran inside the building.

- Kyle! Wait!

- Cap, you're right, we have to capture now!

Each one started to work on his part of the plan, Kyle was on the elevator, when he arrived at the floor he only saw you coming out of the room, you had a bottle on your hand, he knew perfectly what it was, a Molotov.

- Y/N Put that thing down, now!

You looked at him, panicked, you really weren't expecting Kyle pointing at you with a gun. You threw the Molotov away, specifically to the security room and ran, Kyle was running behind you.

- Captain, evacuate everybody! There's fire!

- Copy! Soap, come with me, Ghost do you have visibility?

- on the way!

- Good visibility, the target it's running to the roof, I request permission to shoot.

- Do it if it's necessary, Gaz, go for the target, we don't want to hurt or kill it!

- Copy!

You ran and opened the door, you locked it with the first object you saw close to you, and as your boss promised, a parachute was waiting for you, you were putting it on you when you heard someone trying to open the door, you were distracted looking at the door when a Bullet passed close enough to your cheek, cutting you.

«Y/N! Open the fuckin' door, they will shoot you, I can protect you, open it, let's talk about this! For the old times!»

- I'm so sorry Kyle, this is my Job and is more important than what happened in the past.

Bullets were running in every direction, they didn't want to hurt you, but you know if you stay and don't complete the task, you will be dead before the sunset.

«Y/N! Please! We can fix this! Do it, for that last summer kiss!»

You were now ready to jump... Kyle opened the door, now he's in front of you, you stopped, for a second that memory of your kiss popped up, a thousand of "what if" invaded you, you considered to stay, two other men appeared behind Kyle. No, you will not lose your head just for an old summer love, the sirens of the fire truck, alarms, and the ringtone of your phone brought you back.

- Bye, Kyle Garrick.

You simply jumped, Kyle ran trying to catch you, but the only thing he did, was see your parachute opening and taking you away. Price and Soap appeared at his side, now all of them are watching you landing not so far, you're running trying to lose yourself in the traffic.

- won't go further, let's go guys!

Kyle didn't even know how he went back to the streets, one second he was on the roof and the next one he was running on the streets looking for you, the world was spinning faster, how could you? Kyle was feeling sick, his friend from childhood and teenage years was now a criminal, his first love, was now escaping from him.

[musings-of-a-20-something]

last weekend

the first time I saw you I could only think to myself it's actually happening, I'm meeting her. and wow, she's short. after an hour I was still shocked. it's actually happening, i'm meeting her. but new thoughts appeared. her eyes. she's a whole new beauty in person. god she's funny. 

i watched you change in front of me. you  joked, saying i had seen you naked a hundred times before, whats one more. maybe you knew that no scar or blemish could make me leave you. you got into bed after that and placed yourself right next to me. you fit perfectly. 

we watched one of my favorite shows that night. I shouldn't say we. you did. I watched you, because in that moment, in the little time I knew I probably had with you, i knew it would be a waste to look at anything but you.

i didn't sleep that night. not because the bed was uncomfortable or because you snored or anything i had ever experienced before those moments with you. instead, i was plagued by the thought of waking you from your sleep. it frightened me. you looked so at peace the thought of destroying that was worse than anything my mind could imagine. i wonder how no one before me had thought that.

you left for work the next morning, and all I could think about was your return. what would I think about next. i could hardly wait to see you. i made your bed, in the meantime. and i wrote about you. you always said you loved my writing.

i heard that front door open and my heart leapt from my chest. i realized that you were back, truly. that I'd get to lay my eyes on you again.

the second you walked through that door everything changed.

maybe it was in my mind, but the excitement that was brimming through my eyes was shining through yours like spotlights made from sapphires. I had loved your eyes for years, but in that moment, nothing could ever replace them. I had thought that I wanted nothing more than pretty cars and a daughter in life but that split second changed everything, there was one more thing i knew i needed. i would have traded every possession i had, if just to feel your eyes on my soul for another moment. i've spent time trying to think of how I would describe it. normally, your eyes remind me of waves of a cold ocean, crashing against cliffs of dark stone. the white crests of the waves along the sea and the clash of everything was serene and frightening in a way a lover could understand.  and i think that's what they are like.

but there is nothing that could ever describe them in that moment. i think seeing your eyes in that moment will feel the same as seeing my newborn child for the first time. i wish i could tell you, could explain it to you. so that you knew why i was different after that. i hugged you and you went to shower, my mind not in the same room as it had been ten minutes before.

you took me to some of your favorite places after that. we went to goodwill and you pulled a pair of corduroy pants off the rack, "i think these would look nice on you." you said it so nonchalantly, as if you didn't think those words could mean anything to me. i bought those pants without ever looking at the size.

we went to a bookstore next. i was reminded of the authors you had recommended to me when i asked months prior. osamu dazai and fyodor dostoevsky. i told myself i get a library card when i returned home, if just to find a trace of you there. you told me you hated me at least four times in that bookstore. we laughed every time.

you asked me what i wanted to eat, i told you i wasn't sure. you looked at me with those eyes and we decided on your favorite food truck, hibachi. i made a fool of myself eating soup that was too hot. you looked at me and told me it didn't taste good anyway.

we got back to your place and you colored while i laid next to you. there was something about it, the innocence. someone who had seen me nude, someone who had seen my worst moments, my saddest days. you gave up on that drawing and fell asleep next to me again. i fell asleep faster that night.

in the morning you had to go to work early. you were about to leave and i wasn't sure what to do. you moved for the door and i told you that when you came home, i might not be there. we both knew i had a long drive. we hugged and i placed a kiss on your forehead. you left without a second word and i knew.

i left a few hours later, after making your bed of course. leaving was hard. i smiled the whole way home, state borders i had crossed just a day prior welcomed me back. you texted me when you got off work, thanking me for hanging out with you. i didn't know how to tell you i would have hung out with you for the rest of my life.

its been a week since then and we talk less. i don't know if its one of your episodes or if i am paying the cost of what happened. i've finished a book by dazai. it was odd, finding you on every page. not at all how i thought it would be though. i've been practicing my cursive, so that i may write letters to you. i think you might like that, maybe. maybe it would be enough for you to come back.

[inkedobsidian]

~ imposter syndrome ~

prompt: #58 “ This isn't who I am.” summary: Y/N catches a glimpse of Jin-Man's past life pairing: Jeong Jin-Man x Reader warnings: scars, ptsd, murder word count: 939 a/n: Hi, it's been a while :) Sorry I've been gone for so long I'm hoping to be back but we'll see how I get on! Love you all if you're still here <3 Request Status is in my account bio :) Master-List - Prompts

Y/N hadn't really been in their lives for long but she became a staple in the Jeong household. It had only been a year but the first year was always going to be the worst. When Ji-An was not interacting with Jin-Man she would at least acknowledge and take comfort in Y/N. It started from just a visit once a week to overnight visits to doing the school runs but Y/N wouldn't change a thing. She had grown too attached to both of them at how similar yet contrasting their personalities could be.

This was another night where Y/N had picked up Ji-An and they had decided to go do something together, Y/N was glad that Jin-Man trusted her to be alone with Ji-An. She gave him a quick message that they'd be home an hour or two later and she had to fight the smile of just how ‘domestic’ it felt.

Jin-Man used the time Y/N had Ji-An to be in the basement or working out, he also enjoyed how ‘domestic’ it felt even if he would never let it show. He realized he must have let a bit too much time slip away when he saw the headlights from Y/N’s car pull into the driveway while he was midway through a workout. Although he trusted Y/N that didn’t mean he’d told her everything.

He was almost covered but the door opened too quickly as Ji-An sprinted inside to put something in the kitchen. He knew she’s seen it but there wasn’t anything he could say in the moment. However, even though he was standing there like some massive bomb had gone off Y/N had walked nonchalantly towards the kitchen with the bags she was holding.

She did see them, she just didn’t care. It was none of her business at the end of the day she was just here to help an uncle take care of his niece while they were in a difficult time. Jin-Man moved towards the door slowly as if he was trying not to spook a deer and walked quickly towards the car the minute he was out the frame of the door.

He could hear voices from inside the living room and could catch slivers of the conversation as Y/N and Ji-An simply talked about each item as they put them away. With every passing second Jin-Man was itching with a strange sense of fight or flight, in this seemingly ordinary scenario. He felt like he was standing there for about 5 minutes before he finally heard Y/N walking back towards the car for the last of the bags. She knew he’d be waiting so she asked Ji-An to stay inside.

“You wanna help with the rest of the bags?” She speaks so casually it throws him off, not that he shows it again. He just stays in silence looking in her eyes intently, trying to see if he can understand what she’s feeling. Is she scared now? Is she scared of him? After a couple of moments of silence, it was finally enough.

“Do you want me to ask about them because it doesn’t matter to me, but if it does to you I can ask,” Y/N spoke softly and carefully, she’d not known them long but she knew what got them here and she wasn’t even expecting him to open up to her at all. Once again all he could do was stare for a second longer until he saw the light shift behind her head. The door was still open and Ji-An had moved into the hallway to see out the front door towards them.

“This isn’t who I am,” His voice echoed in her ears as Y/N tried to understand what he meant until she saw where he was looking and she spun around to see Ji-An waving at them both. She took a moment to wave back and when Y/N spun back Jin-Man was now looking directly at her, the eye contact almost made her shudder, “I don’t know how to care for her and you do it so well. I don’t want you to be afraid of me.”

“I’m not afraid of you Jin-Man, I can tell what kind of man you are and that’s enough for me,” There was a pause just after she spoke. Y/N took a step closer to him so that there was barely space between them then she turned to grab the rest of the shopping bags, just as she stood up she whispered in his ear “Plus it doesn’t take a genius to realize what actually happened in that morgue from Ji-An’s story.”

Jin-Man’s face finally reacted in emotion as his eyes went wide. He realized that Ji-An had told Y/N about all of that and that Y/N had figured that it was him that saved Ji-An. She figured that out from the story told from the point of view of a 7-year-old, impressive. Y/N took a step back so there was finally breathing room between them, he wished she hadn’t thought.

“Will you stay for dinner?” His voice slightly waivered for the first time since they’d met. Now it was Y/N’s turn to stare at him, let him sit in his emotions as she watched his flickering eyes. Then finally she dropped the stone face and let a slightly cocky smile brace her lips.

“Who did you think was cooking?” She replied as she finally turned and walked back into the house leaving a trail of light laughter behind her as she left. He just stood there for a moment and thought, maybe this could be who he is.

[swiss-mrs]

RPF

just an absolute crack fantasy I thought of while I danced around my room to my groovy playlist

Joe Quinn x Black!Reader

Catching Joe's attention at a club during Disco Night!

Ok, girlies, I know my mom wasn't the only one who introduced me to funk 😤

Now, Joe's taste in music is the timeless, groovy kind, so you know he takes the opportunity to go to "Disco Night! themed attire suggested"

He goes with a couple of mates, including Jamie Bower.

When the night is in full swing, he notices you getting hyped up by some people around you.

You are on the opposite side of the club, but since you were on a raised platform and he was up higher, a more private platform with tables, he got a perfect view of you.

The colorful strobe lights danced across your glowing skin and glittery outfit. Now that we saw you, it was hard to miss you. How has he not seen you earlier?

He couldn't quite hear you, but he could tell you were belting out every lyric to "I'm Every Woman" by Chaka Khan.

You were fully in character, totally carefree, having the time of your life.

You appear to be with two other girls, both playing the part of your background singers.

You'd turned your little platform into a stage. The few people around you on the dance floor were facing you and your friends, cheering you on. Their cheers only seemed to inflate your "stage presence".

Seeing you makes Joe chuckle. You're cute.

Jamie is the one who urges him to get closer to you, but he stays back for the entire night just watching you every chance he got.

You didn't seem to run out of energy. You knew every song. You were totally in your element.

Your little stank face when the opening bass thumps of "Tell Me Somethin' Good" came through the speakers was adorable.

Your dramatic, 'seductive' shoulder dance to "Careless Whisper" was adorable.

The sassy persona you took on with your friends during "It's Raining Men" was adorable.

Everything about you had the man hooked.

A part of him wanted to be a part of you.

The other part of him, though, was in his head about his celebrity status.

His recent blow-up following Stranger Things made him nervous to interact with new people.

It has been over a year since season 4 premiered, but the adoring crowd only grew and didn't seem to be doing down any time soon.

What if you already knew who he was?

That would make things a little awkward, right?

Suddenly, he was no longer just a guy at a club. He was "Joseph Quinn". Not just Joe.

Before he knows it, the clock strikes 2, and the club is closing.

He's not nearly as wasted as he thought he'd be, but he still was able to enjoy his night, nonetheless.

He turned his head for only a second when someone addressed him during their farewells, but in that second, he'd lost sight of you in the crowd.

He'd be lying if he'd say his heart didn't drop with disappointment.

You every see like a really hot person at an airport, passing by you on the street, or in a car next to you?

This was that moment for Joe.

He wanted to know you, get your name, maybe your number, but you disappeared into thin air.

Phantom Crossed Paths.

He headed down the tall staircase with the remaining few of his mates and made his way outside with them.

They were all chatting it up, turning the corner of the building to the parking lot just adjacent. That's when he noticed you for a second time, immediately.

You were still with your friends, talking enthusiastically with each other next to a car.

A few fellow club goers would compliment you in passing as they made it to their respective vehicles.

Joe started to get a bit clamy.

Should he shoot his shot?

Why not? What's the worst that could happen?

You'd either say no thanks to a stranger in the club parking lot or you'd ask him for a picture or something.

Fuck it.

He abandons his mates, who shouted questions after him, but he just dismissed them with a "be right back"

He walks right up to you and your two friends.

You were in the middle of laughing at something with that beautiful smile of yours.

"Pardon me." He catches your attention immediately. You had a shocked and slightly confused look on your face. His formal tone took you off guard.

As soon as your eyes land on him, Joe's done for. You were looking right at him.

It felt weird. He'd just spent the last several hours watching you in third person, like a movie, yet here you are, seeing him.

"Hi." You say with a small, polite smile.

"Hi, uh, sorry. I probably should've thought of what to say before I came up to you." He chuckles.

Your brows furrow, and you let out a breathy laugh, "Come up to me?"

"Yeah, sorry. I couldn't help but notice how beautiful you are, and I just wanted to shoot my shot before it's too late."

Your brows skyrocket, and you look him up and down shamelessly. "You are shooting a shot with me? Are you sure?" You ask in disbelief.

Joe chuckles, "I'm sure. Experiencing your joy from afar just wasn't good enough for me." He loosely gestures to the club building. "I want to get to know you up close." At this moment in time, he has no idea what he was saying. He was just hoping, whatever it was, was working.

You scoff in shock, a small smile playing on your lips as you look up at him with doe eyes.

"She only quiet cause she thinks you're cute. The answer is yes. You can have her number." One of your friends butt in from behind you.

You whip your head around to glare at her, giving a silence "Shit the fuck up" look

Joe grins widely and takes out his phone.

He's already got his contacts pulled up and ready to go by the time you turn back.

"If you really do think I'm cute, well you do me the honors?"

There's a slight bit of hesitation for giving out your number to a stranger, but he's cute, so what the heck.

He looks down at the new contact. He says your name with ease and a smile on his face, "A beautiful name for a beautiful face."

The way your name rolled off his tongue made you smile. "And you are, stranger?" You ask him.

It's his turn to be shocked. His brows raise, and his eyes widen. You don't know him?

You take the shock as him not realizing he didn't properly introduce himself.

His shocked face is adorable.

"Joe. My name's Joe."

You smile and nod, repeating his name. "That'll be easy to remember"

He nods with a big smile, "I'll, uh, Can I call you later?"

You quickly turn into a shy school girl, twisting side to side with your hands behind you with a shy smile. You nod. "I look forward to it, Joe."

He smiles impossibly wider, nodding and walking backward towards his awaiting mates. "Talk to you later!" He turns to jog back over to his buddies.

You could tell they were teasing and cheering him on, but the voices of your own teasing friends turned you around.

"My baby got hit on by an actually cute guy!" The same friend who interrupted earlier chimes in.

"Oh my GOD, bitch. Do you know who that was?" you other friend asked

you look at her confused, "You do?"

"The guy I was fangirling over! Eddie from Stranger Things?! I've been trying to get you to watch it for forever, and you still haven't!"

Your eyes widen in realization.

"I told you I don't want to pay for Netflix just to watch one show!"

"I can't believe he wanted my number?!"

"Bitch, stfu. Your hot af. Of course, he wanted your number!"

Literal death by surprise.

He definitely calls you that same night when he gets back to his hotel.

You confess that you didn't know him at first (and still don't know much about him), but your friend did spill the beans about him being a popular actor.

He's up front with you and let's you know that he's not in town for long as he's doing promo stuff all over the place, but he lets it be known that he doesn't want to just hit and quit.

You two bond over music.

He sets up a private date for you two to go on later that week.

You're not one for small talk, and thank God neither is he.

On your date, you guys talk about some many different topics.

You may not know either other's favorite color, but you do know each other's stance on the current state of the internet and celebrity/stan culture.

On top of your pretty face, Joe finds himself entranced by your mind and inner beauty.

Even after he leaves town, you'll definitely be staying in contact.

*rapidly wiggling my eyebrows* guurrrrrlllllll 💅💅

[hesawifebeaterdanusethegun]

Part Four of my as yet untitled Dark City Doctor Schreber fic! Idk why I keep posting these but maybe some of you will enjoy them :3

Part One

Part Two

            It was hard to believe that Kat had only worked at Doctor Schreber’s office for about three weeks. It felt like she’d been there for years. Things were going well for her lately. She had a great new job, she could pay her rent and afford to eat on one paycheck, and she was even able to start paying down her debts. And her boss wasn’t a creep, she couldn’t forget about that. Finally working for someone who seemed to actually respect her as a person had changed her for the better, and it showed in her outlook.

            Before she’d gotten this job, life hadn’t always been kind to her. She had no family, no friends to speak of, in the City or anywhere else. She was on her own. Usually she liked it that way, being on her own was what she knew, just getting by without the help of anyone else was how she lived. She’d been proud of making it on her own for the time that she had, before that last job threw it all in the gutter.

            She had been walking absentmindedly for a few minutes, her mind wandering through these thoughts as easily as she wound through the streets of the City she’d grown up in. She was lost in though when a man stepped in front of her, blocking her way out of the alley she’d been walking down. He was tall, heavyset but not fat, wearing a long duster coat and sporting a black fedora on his head.

            “Where do you think you’re goin’ little lady?” He grinned, revealing a gold tooth on the right side of his mouth. He smelled as if he hadn’t bathed in several days and in that time had gone a bit overboard on the liquor, though these details she wouldn’t remember later to relay to the police, her panic sending her into fight or flight. Or freeze apparently because that’s all she’d done so far during this encounter. He slid behind her, an arm around her neck, and led her backwards into the shadow of the alley.

            “I was just gonna rob ya, but now I think I’ll have a little fun while I’m at it.” He chuckled as she felt the blade of a small knife at her throat. She panicked at this, slamming her body backward into the man, throwing him off balance and freeing herself from his grip. She turned, kicking him hard in the groin before running away as fast as she could (faster than she thought she could, for that matter). She heard him grunt and hit the ground as she ran. She hoped she’d left the bastard with at least a nasty bruise for his trouble, she’d realize later she’d also left him her bag as a consolation prize, but at least she’d gotten away safely.

She was closer to work than she was home, so she went there, it was the only place she could think of to go, hoping the Doctor would be there. She didn’t want to be alone right now. The elevator attendant eyed her strangely as he pulled the lever to take them to the third floor.

“Bit late for you to be here isn’t it?” he asked.

“Yeah.” She replied shortly before giving a nervous laugh. They’d arrived at the third floor. She got out of the car and thanked him.

“Well have a good night, little lady,” he said before disappearing into the floor.

His words sent a fresh wave of panic through her and she slid to the floor, back to the wall, while she attempted to catch her breath. The doctor must have heard the elevator door clanging on its way down, as he appeared at the door of his lab a moment later. He looked around, confused and a little worried as to who might be visiting him at this hour, expecting the worst.

Then he saw Kat, hunched over with her back against the wall. He rushed over to her, kneeling in front of her.

“Katherine, can you hear me?” a bit of panic tinged his voice as he spoke. He took her hands in his, they were cold. She was breathing rapidly and he felt as if he could hear her heart hammering. She was in shock. He gently helped her up and led her to the room where they’d conducted that first interview, helping her to sit down on the overstuffed leather couch and wrapping a blanket he’d found in his lab around her back. He pulled his chair up close and checked her pulse, it was slowing.

“Katherine, can you hear me?” he repeated after he’d situated her as comfortably as he could. She slowly looked up at him as if seeing him for the first time. She nodded.

“I can hear you,” she stated flatly, tiredly.

“Katherine, what happened?” he asked.

“I’m sorry, Doctor, I just… I didn’t know where else to go,” her voice was choked as if she were holding back a sob. “I just didn’t want to be alone.”

Gently he coaxed the story of what happened from her, his anger growing over what she’d been through that night. He wouldn’t let this happen again. Once she’d calmed down he called the police. About a half hour later two officers finally showed up to take her account of what happened. He stayed with her while they questioned her, his hand on her shoulder and a protective eye on her.

After the ordeal was over and the police report filed, they found themselves alone again.

“I’m so sorry about this, Doctor, I’ll just-”

“Daniel.”

“I’m sorry?”             “You can call me Daniel, Katherine.”

“I guess this means you should call me Kat,” she responded with a small smile.

Part Four Section One

[impala-dreamer]

Tourniquet - Chapter Ten (Finale)

 Supernatural Dean x Reader Series Told Backwards

~Y/N has been by Dean’s side through his worst days, always there if he needs her, forever just a call away. Love is impossible to fight and more impossible to live with. Just a side character in his epic life, Y/N would give anything just to give Dean a moment’s peace.~

Please see MASTERLIST for full info/warnings/chapter links.

Impala-Dreamer’s Masterlist  ~  Patreon  ~ Published Works ~ Get A Custom Story

At First Sight 

There was a field behind the junkyard, a wide-open space not yet overtaken by rusted car skeletons and twisted metal. The grass grew high above her head, and in the spring, bluebells and tiny purple flowers bloomed, peppering the space with joyful color. 

She first saw him there, peeking at her through the tall grass. He was taller than the weeds, so much taller than she was; older too, by a few years, it seemed. But he was beautiful and she knew it. 

She’d seen beautiful people in her nearly eight years on earth- her mother who had just died, and her younger sister who went with her. She’d seen mountains covered in autumn mist; country roads slicked with rain. She’d felt the sun in the desert; tracked a rainbow across the sky. There were so many pretty things in the world that she was just learning to appreciate, but she’d never seen something like him before. 

She’d never seen green eyes that glowed golden in the sunlight, cheeks sparkled with freckles, hair a soft brown somewhere between straw and bark.

When he spoke, her cheeks heated up. When he grabbed her hand through the grass, her stomach flipped. 

“What’s your name?” he asked, pulling her into a run through the brush. 

“Y/N!” She laughed as he tugged her along, running so fast he nearly lifted her off her feet. 

The sky was perfectly blue, not a cloud to be seen. 

He looked back over his shoulder, face haloed by the June sun. 

“I’m Dean,” he said with a smile. 

They ran to the edge of the property, stopping short of where they weren’t allowed to go. There was a stream that hugged the line, a shallow creek, not more than ankle deep and wide enough for Dean to straddle with his bowed legs. He put one foot on either side and reached for her hand. 

“Come on, it’s fun.” 

Y/N hesitated, watching from the left bank. 

“Daddy says I’m not to go past the water,” she explained, looking back toward the house. They were far enough away that the rickety roof wasn’t visible, but she knew the woods, she’d grown up running through Bobby’s legs, hiding in the car graveyard, lying in the warm grass. 

Dean craned his neck to look around her. He shrugged. “Don’t see your dad anywhere.” Again, he reached for her and smiled. “I won’t tell if you don’t.” 

Nervously, she took his hand and Dean helped her down into the riverbed. She toed off her grass-stained white Keds and chewed her lip. 

“You sure you won’t get me in no trouble?” 

He laughed sweetly and lifted a finger to his chest. “Cross my heart and hope to die!” He placed an X on his thread-worn tee and she gave in. 

Her toes skirted the water and Dean helped her step over it. 

“You shouldn’t hope to die,” she warned. “The ghosts might hear and come get you.” 

They hopped to the other side and perched on a big rock, just wide enough for two children to sit on together. Their shoulders bumped and Y/N’s stomach twisted up funny again. 

“Ain’t no ghosts here,” he assured her. “My dad would know. He’s the best hunter there is.” 

Y/N squinted up at him, unsure. 

“Besides,” Dean went on, bending to pick up a pebble near his foot. “You think Bobby would let his place be haunted? Bobby knows everythin’ about everythin’. No way he’d let some nasty ghost bother us. You’re safe.” 

She crossed her arms over her chest, hugging her fear. “You sure, Dean?” 

He tossed the pebble into the stream and a ripple pulsed over the surface. 

“I’m sure.” Dean threw his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. “I’ll protect you. I promise.” 

She didn’t know why, but she believed him. There was something about him that seemed magical, like he was a superhero or something. She sighed against him and put her head on his shoulder. 

They sat and watched the water for a while. Now and then a leaf would float by, or a few tadpoles would appear. It was quiet and peaceful and the wind was warm. 

When the daylight began to fade, they left the stream behind and stepped into the grass again. He held her hand and swatted away the weeds, making a path for them. 

“Are you stayin’ up in the house?” she asked, hoping he wasn’t leaving anytime soon. It was boring being alone even though she found things to do, but with her dad off on a job, it had been just her and Uncle Bobby for a few weeks. 

“Yeah. Just a few days. Gonna head to Kentucky next.” 

“I’ve never been there.” 

Dean shrugged. “It’s OK.” 

The grass gave way to gravel and Dean let her hand go once they could see the house in the distance. 

“Have you been here a while?” he asked, sneakers kicking up dust as he shuffled beside her, hands jammed into his pockets. 

She exhaled sadly and nodded. “Yeah. My mom just…and… and Jackie, my sister. They…”

Dean paused and turned, looking down at her and leaning on a broken Oldsmobile. “Mine too,” he said softly. “I mean, my mom- she uh- well, it was a long time ago.” He kicked at a stone and it rolled a few feet away. 

“I’m sorry.” 

He smiled gently. “It gets better after a while, ya know..” 

Tears prickled her eyes, her bottom lip trembled. “Does it really?” 

Dean looked away, pretending to count the row of cars to their right. “No,” he whispered. “Not really.” 

An ache pulsed in her chest and she felt sorry for him, for both of them. She could see the tears in his eyes as surely as she felt her own, and she slipped her tiny hand in his, squeezing tight. 

“We’ll be OK, Dean,” she said, trying her best to believe it. “You’ll see.” 

Sniffling hard, he beat back the tears and took a breath. 

“Hey, you smell that?” 

Confused, she took a deep breath and her stomach growled loudly. “Burgers?” 

He grinned. “Burgers!”

They ran through the junkyard, carefully maneuvering through the jagged steel and dodging each other as dusk settled over Sioux Falls. 

She didn’t know why, but she felt like he was it. He was the thing that would keep her going, the friend she needed right then, get her through the pain and the confusion. 

The boy with the green eyes. 

Tourniquet Tags:

@prettyinplaid94 @winharry @muhahaha303  @cookiechipdough @ladysparkles78

2024 Forever Tags (Always Open! Send an Ask!)

@babysimpala @beardburnsupersoldiers @chenshemesh1 @cosicas-cuquis @deans-baby-momma @deanwinchesterswitch @feelmyroarrrr @foxyjwls007 @hobby27 @impalaspixie @jackles010378 @kazsrm67@k-slla @leigh70 @lyarr24 @nancymcl @peachy-vans @pizzagirlxnsfwx @rachiem4-blog @sexyvixen7 @the-wounded-healer05 

[ereardon]

Gas Station Tears [Bob Floyd x Reader]

Pairing: Bob Floyd x Reader

WC: 1K

Warning: Cursing, breakup

A/N: Loosely based on my own experience crying at a gas station while eating a hot dog after a break up. Unfortunately there was no Bob there to save me, but I did meet my now-husband a month later so everything happens for a reason!

Three weeks. That’s all the time it took to fall for Bob Floyd. 

It’s also about all the time it took you to ruin things. 

You met by chance, at the worst possible time. Your boyfriend of two years had called one humid August day, out of the blue, and ended it, knowing full well you had the roundtrip airline tickets in your literal hands, ready to get on a plane to see him in New York in less than a week. You begged and you pleaded and you even threatened to go and win him back. But your father talked you out of it. Said that he didn’t deserve you. That once a man has made up his mind, that was it. There was no changing it. 

Why would you want to go? he asked. 

You sobbed. He’s the love of my life. 

You were wrong. And not for the first time. 

The next few days were a daze. Food began to taste like battery acid, so you stopped eating. Your clothes fit baggier, your under eyes grew heavy. Your family worried. Your best friend slept in your bed so many nights in a row she had to borrow clothes after she ran out. Finally, after five days of moping, you sent her home. She left you in an empty house with a freezer full of Ben and Jerry’s, and a box of broken picture frames collecting dust on top of memories frozen in time.  

But you were alone, and you knew it. 

So it was entirely chance the day you drove up to the local gas station, a small one out of the way that you didn’t typically frequent. You needed gas and a hot dog, your ultimate comfort food. You didn’t even realize until you saw the cashier's face – an equal mix of shock and horror and discomfort – that you had started to cry again while trying to pay for it with change from your wallet. He slid the change back to you. 

“On the house honey.” 

It only made you cry more. You stepped out into the humid San Diego night and unlocked your truck, turning the key only to find that the piece of shit stuttered to a stall after two seconds. 

“Fuck,” you whispered, placing the hot dog down in the console. “Not today.” 

You slumped in the worn leather seat, head tipped forward, door still flung open, and tried to turn the key again, the old Ford rumbling below you and then cutting out just as your hopes were rising to crescendo. 

“Fuck!” This time you yelled it. 

The sound of a throat clearing made you jump. You turned to see a tall, dark sandy haired man standing a foot or so away from your open door. He was wearing a pair of wire glasses, and had a slight flush on his lightly tanned skin. And despite the fact that it was only the two of you in the quickly darkening gas station parking lot, you didn’t feel threatened. He exuded a sense of calm and safety. An authoritative aura that you couldn’t put your finger on. “I’m sorry, ma’am, couldn’t help but overhear. Do you need some help?”

A string of anger sat on your lips, about to erupt, but instead you found yourself dissolving into tears again. The man hesitated before stepping closer, his arm resting on the open door frame. 

“Ma’am? Are you OK?”

“I’m not old,” you hiccuped through the tears. 

He gave you a soft, but bright, smile. He looked like he was biting back a laugh. “Yeah, I gathered.” 

“So what’s with the ma’am?”

He shrugged. “Force of habit. I can call you something else if you’d prefer.” 

“Y/N,” you said softly. 

“OK then, Y/N,” he responded gently. “I’m Bob.” 

“Know anything about cars, Bob?”

He smiled again. “I’m thinking I can be of service.” 

By the time he was finished he was sweaty and covered in a thin layer of black grime. You sat back with your feet on the dash as he popped the hood, rooted around, rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to reveal sinuous muscles. At one point you remembered the hot dog in the console, one of the main reasons for this fated gas station trip, and started to eat it just as Bob rounded the corner of the door to ask you a question. He stuttered as he watched you put the end of the hot dog and bun in your mouth, unable to make eye contact until you had finished your meal. 

Thirty minutes later, you turned the key to start and the engine roared to life. You slapped the dashboard in disbelief. “Thank God, Dixie, you fucking bitch.” You heard Bob chuckle behind you.

Bob smiled at you, his hands in his pockets. “Glad to help, ma’am.” The last word came out in a light taunt and you smirked back at him. 

It had grown late, the fluorescent lights of the gas station the only thing illuminating the two of you. Bob turned to go and you called out to him. “Wait.” He turned, a small glimmer of hope lighting his chocolatey eyes. “At least let me buy you dinner for your trouble.” 

“Oh it was no trouble,” he replied, but he didn’t make a move to leave. 

“Please?” You wanted to see him again. “Unless, your girlfriend would protest.” Right away you had scoped out his bare ring finger. 

Bob shook his head and let out a light chuckle. “No, uh, I don’t have a girlfriend.” 

You smiled. “Then it’s settled. I owe you dinner.” 

His face lit up. You traded numbers, and less than an hour later you got a call from him. Calling, he said, was the polite thing to do. His voice was husky on the phone and despite the fact that you had asked him out as payment for his mechanic services he had already chosen a restaurant and offered a time and day for the date. 

You fell a little in love with him then and there.