#i wrote this in like. less than 3 hours! all 2k of it! very exciting!

[allsassnoclass]

Hazel!! Congrats on 500 followers!! For the prompts how about "things you said when you were scared" for one of the michael pairings? -taylor

@jbhmalumm this is absolutely not what you were thinking of but it’s spooky season and I had fun with this one!

ot4: things you said when you were scared

“I hate you all so much,” Michael whines between big, gasping breaths.  His shoulders are tense up to his ears, one hand fisted in the back of Ashton’s shirt with white knuckles and the other trapped around Luke’s hand like a vice, elbows glued to his side so they both stay close while the four of them shuffle along, Calum bringing up the rear.  Lights flash overhead, making it difficult to see the details around them, and he’s not sure that any of them heard him over the cacophony of droning tones, piercing noises, and distant screams that surround them.

Something hits his ankles, making him yelp and jump away.  Before he can look down to see what it was, a zombie lurches forward from the shadows with a terrifying roar.

Michael screams, probably for the fiftieth time tonight.  It won’t be his last.

“Oh my God,” Luke says, curling into him more like he’s short enough to hide his face in Michael’s shoulder.  At least he’s getting freaked out, too.  Michael can see Calum laughing at them as he side-steps the leering zombie.

“Come on, Mike, you’re the one who suggested this!” Ashton says, twisting slightly to peer back at him with a smile.  The blacklight flashing above them makes the whites of his eyes and shiny teeth stand out, turning him into one of the other-worldly creatures populating the maze.  Maybe he should put on a costume and join them, since he seems to be enjoying himself so much.

“I wasn’t serious,” he moans, moving forward only because Ashton does, every muscle in his body telling him that he should retreat.

Of course, that’s not how this works.  The point of the haunted house is to go through it, not to backtrack and run into the other groups.

“It’s Halloween!  Get into the spirit!” Calum calls.  Another zombie takes advantage of Michael’s brief moment of distraction to jump out from behind a filing cabinet, banging their first on it and making Michael skitter away, accidentally pulling Luke with him.  Ashton grabs the hood of his sweatshirt and reels him back to his side.

“Look at the makeup on that one!” he says, admiring the grotesque slash across the zombie’s nose and the peeling, bloody skin surrounding it’s eye.  It yells again and Michael whimpers, pushing Ashton forward just in time for an animatronic window to fly open and a robot zombie to lean out.

This place is going to give him a heart attack.  There’s entirely too much going on, from the flickering lights to the school bell to the echoes of the electricity and boiling concoctions of the science lab.

This haunted house is structured as a high school, which is already terrifying enough, but the story goes that a science experiment went wrong and now everyone inside is a zombie, the entire place trashed.  It’s a cheesy story, but Michael didn’t expect the sensory overload, nor all of the actors to have such impeccable timing on when to jump out of the shadows and scare him shitless.

“Get to class!” one of them yells, dressed as a hall monitor but with a lot more blood.  Michael squeezes closer to Ashton, like he can physically protect him even though the actors aren’t allowed to touch them.  His heart is beating fast in his ribcage, ready for the next jumpscare, and it’s unnerving when they pass by a row of lockers to find a zombie student standing there and staring at them instead, eyes following them out.

“I hate this,” he repeats.  Luke nods against his shoulder.

“There can’t be too much left,” Ashton assures him, right as a cheerleader holding a cut-off arm scampers up, asking if they’ve seen her boyfriend Ricky, blood dribbling down her chin onto her orange uniform.  It distracts him enough that the football player charging at them with a roar makes him shriek, pressure building behind his eyes until he harshly wills it away.

The football player sweeps the cheerleader down the hall and out of sight, both of them laughing.  He’s glad someone is having fun.

“Wow,” Ashton says, shielding him from another animatronic locker opening, a zombie leaning out, then right back in.  They press on through the library, then to the cafeteria, where a lazy-eyed lunch lady stirs something red and lumpy in a pot while bugs cover her other food.  Michael shuffles past her only to feel something tiny land on his head, like rain.

“What the fuck!”  he shreks, letting go of Ashton to brush his hair, spine tingling at the thought of bugs in it, or maybe they’re under his shirt now, crawling and–

“It’s just rice!” Calum says, corralling him and Luke forward.  “A machine dropped rice on you.  See?”

He holds out his hand for Michael to look, but the lunch lady yells at them to grab their food or keep moving, and Michael’s feet carry him back to Ashton and into the locker room.

No zombies jump out at them from the bathroom stall like he’s expecting, so by the time the coach suddenly appears around the corner and starts yelling at them to get to practice, Michael is coiled tighter than a spring.

“I hate this,” he moans, the coach yelling through his megaphone that if they don’t get to the gym, they’ll be running laps all night.  “I have enough nightmares about highschool as it is.”

Calum pats him on the shoulder, having moved closer to Luke so they’re more of a group than a line now.  Michael feels better having all of them pressed around him, with Ashton as their fearless defender, leading the charge.

The makeshift gym is decked out for prom, with streamers and balloons clearly marking their path around the dance floor.  Multi-colored lights occasionally glint off the disco ball hanging in the center, and distorted, offkey music plays from the speakers at a deafening volume.

It’s playing “Zombie” by the Cranberries.  The creators of this haunted house must be proud of themselves.

A lone figure in a Prom King crown dances in the center, holding the torso of his date and nothing else.  There are various body parts strewn across his dancing space, and Michael knows that they’re just mannequins, some of them fairly obvious ones, but it’s difficult to remember with the bad lighting and smears of what look like blood on the floor.

He’s so focused on the prom king that he doesn’t notice the queen until she’s two feet away, asking him to dance with a manic smile that highlights the cuts on her mouth and gashes on her hands.

“Get me out of here!” Michael whines at Ashton, pushing his back.  “I don’t want to dance, I want to leave!  Let me leave!”

“Okay, okay!” Ashton says soothingly, steadily making his way towards the door while the queen follows, still asking for a dance.  Michael doesn’t know if he can handle another room of this, but thankfully the next door spits them outside, cool October air caressing his face.  Ashton leads them away from the door, where the remnants of the distorted Cranberries song are leaking out, and they find a spot under a light on the main concourse, surrounded by other patrons milling about and deciding which of the houses they want to go to next.

If any of the random actors floating around right now try to scare him, Michael might end up punching them on reflex, so they’d better stay away.

“Wow,” Luke says, still pressed close to Michael’s side.  “That was more intense than I thought a zombie high school would be.”

“It’s rated on the upper end for the scare factor,” Calum says, pulling out the brochure they picked up at the front gate.  “Mr. Cleaver’s Bloodshed and CarnEVIL are both supposedly scarier, but that’s all.”

“That was so cool!” Ashton says, sliding an arm around Calum’s shoulders.  “They used the sensory stuff so well, and the makeup was awesome!”

“I liked the secretary at the beginning,” Luke says.  “She was nice.”

Michael blinks at him.

“She said if we didn’t go to class she’d suspend us, then gestured to a zombie hung upside down on the wall,” he says slowly.  Luke nods.

“Yeah.  Like I said, nice.”

Michael doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he turns back to Ashton and Calum and watches them read the descriptions of the other houses on the property.  The longer he’s outside in the fresh air, with gentle sounds of people milling about rather than the deafening soundtrack of the zombie high school, the slower his heartbeat gets.  He takes a few deep breaths, then shimmies his shoulders a little, trying to dispel some of the tension that built up for however long they were inside.

“Michael, what do you want to do next?” Ashton asks, looking up from the brochure.  “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’m still going to jump out of my skin,” he says.  Ashton frowns, and Calum steps up to Michael’s side, putting an arm around his waist underneath the one Luke already has there.

“Do you want to stay out here?” Ashton asks.  “We could find one of the food vendors and take a breather.”

Michael shakes his head.

“We’re here, we might as well get scared.”

“Yeah, but it’s supposed to be fun,” Calum says.  “If you’re not having fun, we can take a break and figure out a different plan.”

“I did have fun!” he protests.

Ashton frowns harder.

“You said you hated it the whole time, then pushed me out the door at the end.”

Michael opens his mouth to protest, then closes it, then opens it again.

“Okay, but that’s because high school was scary enough as it is.  They didn’t need to add the zombies.”

Luke snorts, then bites his lip.

“What’s so funny?” Michael asks, already smiling.  Luke’s laughter is contagious.  All of their laughter is, really.  It’s part of why Michael thinks they work as a unit.

“Sorry it’s just–last week you said that high school was amazing because it’s where you met us, and now you’re saying it was a nightmare.  Just admit that you got freaked out by a girl asking you to dance.”

“I–Wh–I didn’t get freaked out!  She wanted to eat my brains!” he protests, looking to Calum and Ashton for help, even though he knows he’s not going to get any.

“Maybe it’s a good thing we skipped prom,” Calum says, squeezing him closer, “if this is how you react to being asked to dance.”

“That’s not what happened!”

“Damn, Michael,” Ashton says, shaking his head sadly.  “I thought all those times dancing around the kitchen late at night meant something to you.”

“They do!” he says.

“Would you even still love us if we were zombies?” Luke asks, mock-offended.  Michael buries his head in his hands and groans.

“Shut up, Luke!”

“He’s dodging the question!”

“You mean you wouldn’t still love us?”

“Betrayal!  Heartbreak!”

“Oh my God, you guys!” he says, turning to face them.  “Of course I’d still love you!  There, are you happy?”

“Yep!” Ashton says, popping the “p.”

“We’d still love you, too,” Luke says, pressing a loud kiss to Michael’s cheek.  Micheal squirms, but doesn’t pull away.

“Come on, which one are we doing next?” he asks, peering at the brochure in Ashton’s hand.

“There’s a vampire one,” Calum says.  “You like vampires.”

“I do like vampires,” Michael replies, thinking about the Halloween where they all dressed up as one.  Some guys are meant to be sexy blood-sucking creatures, and his guys are three of them.

“We’ll do the vampire one, then!” Ashton says, clapping his hands together for emphasis.  “We can regroup again after.  Sound good?”

They all nod, but Michael knows that Ashton is really asking him.  He smiles, and Ashton beams back.

“Wonderful.  This way!”

He leads the way to the line snaking around outside the vampire castle, slowly inching forward as groups are let inside.  Michael spots a few actors prowling around the line, looking for people to scare, but he shakes off his shiver.

Surrounded by his boys, with their laughter and conversation to distract him, he has nothing to be afraid of.

[hexisqueer]

saudade

a/n: WELL. im back! *confetti pops out*. i mean, kinda hehe, apologies im absolutely swamped with school and my degrading mental health :). n e way, this is LONG, because i’ve missed writing a lot <3  wrote this for @sykuui, this is long overdue babe tw: verbal and (probably) physical abuse, kuroo just being a gigantic dick, dont come after me pls ily, cheating, swearing word count: 2K (word vomit ;-;) pairing: kuroo x gn!reader genre: angst (if it’s not very good, pls forgiveness, internet person)

What keeps you up at night?

Gentle snores, his soft hair brushing your arm, muffled breaths reminding you that the world knew not of the Kuroo that slept by you at night, unburdened by the worldly dilemmas. For just a few hours every night, he was yours, through and through, in your arms while the clouds drifted across the jet black sky with no destination, and the moment seemed to freeze.

Love, love for Tetsuro, is what kept you up, and it would never have once crossed your naïve mind that love is what would break you, keeping you up, not for the love you felt, but the love that was torn from you.

Simple signs would not tell you what happened, it came crashing down on you all too quick, for he was proficient at hiding it, behind his caring smiles and affectionate touches. His love wasn’t as pure as yours, he did not yearn for you as you did for him, and it showed, eventually enough. The cracks in the relationship built up gradually, slowly but prominently, too wide for either to bandage up alone, and that is how you found yourselves; alone.

He did try to provide for the both of you as best he could, being the sole income earner, and it didn’t always end well when you expressed that maybe he was too occupied by his office for your liking, unable to care for you as he once did throughout high school, when he was attentive to you no matter when you beckoned.

“Tetsuro, welcome home!” You’ve had a long day and not nearly enough time with your husband, deprived of his peppering kisses and gentle strokes of your hair. You get neither, receiving just a simple grunt, and it is clear he has had a grueling time as well. “Dinner is ready when you want it.” He nods slightly, not making eye contact with you yet, his hair appearing even less groomed than usual. You stand on your tip toes to kiss his forehead, but he shoves you away, harder than playful, glaring at you.

Maybe it’s just weariness, but he makes no attempt to apologize. You blink back the sting of tears, walking towards the kitchen to serve the food that you had learnt to make for him. He’s just tired. I’m sure he didn’t mean to push me away. That was the first tear, in the loosely woven fabric that was your relationship, that began as high school sweethearts but was now, you realized only later, becoming too stifling for Tetsuro.

The steam rose of the bowl of rice and curry, curling around your jawline as you carried it to the tall figure seated at the table, with his head in his palms. “Do you want to talk now, baby?” Your question is only answered with another sound of fatigue. You seat yourself beside him, curling your arms around his bicep, watching him lift the spoon to his mouth, trying to make him comfortable. You wanted to show him that you’d be there when he wanted to share his exhaustion with you, never occurring to you that maybe, it was exhaustion of you that plagued Tetsuro’s mind.

“Y/n, can you please be quiet for once?” It was barely a whisper; you weren’t sure if you heard him right.

“Huh?”

“Just shut up for once, god.” The tears stung again. What was with him today? He seemed genuinely mad, but you didn’t know what you had done to make him behave like this.

Little did you know, it wasn’t actually you, but the idea of you. Kuroo had grown to be frustrated with his daily routine, tired that every day was the same, that his life had lost that spark it had when he peaked in high school, your presence monotonous and the marriage empty. He didn’t want it.

“Tetsuro, why would you-?” His hand swiped out, knocking the bowl off the table, a gasp erupting from your mouth. In that moment, all you can think about is to get as far away from him as possible. There is an uncharacteristic bitterness in his eyes, directed towards you as you lie in his line of vision. You flinch as he raises his hand to run fingers through his hair. Without a second thought, he spits his frustration out at you.

“Y/n, I’ve had a long fucking day, and I don’t need you to make it even worse with your constant questioning.” The chair slides back with a scrape, not unlike the scrape of his words against your soul. There is, and always has been, an insecurity bubbling away in you that maybe you aren’t good enough for Tetsuro, maybe he deserves better, maybe you are too overwhelming for the calm male that now stands enraged in front of you.

“You need to learn to shut the fuck up sometimes, because no one wants to listen to your endless whining. I get it, you need constant reassurance that you’re the perfect partner, but I couldn’t be fucking bothered. And you sure aren’t perfect with how clingy you’re being right now. So shut up, and leave me alone.”

Kuroo knocks over a jug of water on his way out, slamming the door over the sound of it shattering as your sobs rack through your body, dry but hard enough to hurt.

Being furious wasn’t a thought that occurred to you, and whether this was his fault made no difference, because it was yourself you blamed when you found him the next day, with his secretary, the bento lunch you had packed him, to resolve the night’s arguments, spilled over the wooden floor, much like the shattered pieces of your heart.

What broke you, was that there was no chase; Tetsuro didn’t come after you, didn’t try to convince you to stay, didn’t try to explain that this was a mistake, didn’t even try to salvage a nine-year long relationship that he tossed out the window of his high-rise office building, not a single second glance back at the spouse that had supported him through his struggles, through thick and through thin, comforting him when things got tough, consoling him as he lost matches, lost money, lost old friends.

Gratitude wasn’t something he had ever considered. You were always there after all, there to ensure that he was happy, that he was content with his unchanging life, the responsibility of being his unpredictable little spark of excitement weighing down on you.

You were gone that night, with hurriedly packed bags, worn out spirit and tears streaming down your face, sparkling as they dripping onto the marbled floor, sparkling like the diamond of your wedding ring that you left behind on the counter top, with one last admiring glance. It was worth a lot, but not enough for what you were being put through. And recognition of that fact is what liberated you, to start your own life, without a Kuroo Tetsuro.

What keeps you up at night?

Y/n. Bubbling laughter and affectionate aura. Everything that was gone, that now made Kuroo’s life… empty; as empty as he had left the relationship, as empty as the void that was once filled with y/n’s warm smiles, that he now attempted to fill with anyone who would throw themselves at him.

A different face to wake up to everyday, but none of them yours, the only one he longed to see, heart aching as though it might burst out of his chest to find its rightful place with you.

The day after you left, he had had no idea that his life would crumble without you, the backbone around which he organized his life, the foundation for his happiness. He knew it was unfair to put the expectation of his functioning on you, but he did it anyway, and without you, he couldn’t wrap his head around the concept that was independence.

“Tetsuro”, his seventh secretary in two months waltzed into the room, carrying a stack of files, discovering him with his head in his hands, glaring up at the one who dared use the name that you had so loving adorned upon him, the word only perfect on your tongue. “Do you want me to spend the night again? You seem tense.”

Kuroo growled, at the audacity they had, suggesting that they were even worth attempting to comfort him like you did. With a swipe of his hands, he knocked the files off the table, standing up to spit his frustrations out at the secretary.

But one glance at the look of apprehension on their face made him buckle, reminding him of the very last night he spent with you, broken jug, bowl of curried rice upside down on the floor. You; cowering from him, frightened of what he would do to you, flinching as he raised his hand.

Dry choking sobs left his mouth, you were afraid of him, the person you had loved more than life itself, given up everything to make happy, and he had never even uttered a word of gratefulness.

Realization engulfed him, leaving him on his knees. He hadn’t shown you how much he loved you, forgetting or simply just ignoring you.

No wonder you were gone, because what was there to stay for, in the dead-end life that you lived, without a loving husband or self-contentment? What had he done? Why had you stayed for so long?

Why had you stayed up all those nights for him?

Tetsuro never could forget about you, the absence of you gnawing away at him, slowly taking over his life. The final straw that broke him irreparably was you, at the national volleyball match that you attended, not for him, but as a sports reporter, beaming in pride in your professional outfit.

Your independence is what did it, because if you could live without him, it mean you would never return. And why should you, after everything he had done, why should you when you had finally found yourself, why should you when there was nothing to return to?

His eyes followed you around, trying to take in as much of you as he could. Interviewing people, smiling at them, the warm smile that was once only for him. Suddenly, your eyes locked, and he froze, standing close enough to see the hurt swim in yours as you lay them upon him, and the moment was over just as quickly as it began.

“Hajime!” What? Why were you yelling out his name, jumping into his arms, fondly glancing up at him with that adoring look, completely forgetting about the one man that had been missing you for so long? Why weren’t you running back to him instantly? Did you not love him?

But Kuroo knew the truth.

You did love him, just, not anymore. He had lost you the second he took you for granted. And he wanted to yell that he would never do it again, come back to him, please just stay with him, he will always love you.

He couldn’t. The beam reaching from end to end of your glowing face, words bubbling over as Iwaizumi held you close, it was too bright to interrupt. The sparkle in your eyes not unlike the diamond that sparkled on your wedding ring, the one he still kept in his pocket, in hope that you would one day, return to him, forgive him, love him again. But-

Kuroo knew that he didn’t keep you up at night anymore.

[burningdarkfire]

tagged by @saturdaysky​, thank you! always very happy to talk about writing 🤠

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

36 on ao3, with many others left in the past on livejournal or ffnet

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

162k. it’s kind of a shame it doesn’t have the majority of my pre-2011 output as i never ported over my top four or five longest fics. i would’ve loved to see some genuine lifetime totals!

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

9 on ao3 (critrole, nier, hetalia, overwatch, trc, voltron, no. 6, star wars, tiger & bunny). if you expand trc to include anything clamp and throw in code geass then that covers everything i’ve ever published, though homestuck is by far the fandom i have the most WIPs for despite never finishing a single one and deserves a shoutout

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

take my hand / take my whole life too: critrole, 9k, how essek and caleb’s relationship evolves through touch

blue sky, warm sun: critrole, 3.5k, six mornings caleb wakes with essek

dark night, bright stars: critrole, 3k, six nights caleb spends with essek

kitty love: star wars, 1.5k, kylo ren forms a bond with hux’s cat millicent

the walls kept tumbling down: critrole, 2k, caleb spontaneously visits essek after a hard day

commentary and further answers are below the cut!

spots 1-3 on the list are gladly accepted, given that i also think they’re some of my best and most broadly-appealing shadowgast. kitty love gets its spot despite being pure, pointless crack because it’s for a huge fandom, which is fine and fun but i don’t have a lot of personal attachment to it

the walls kept tumbling down is a surprise! it was a self-indulgent “i want a fic exactly like this to fix my mood and instead of digging through the internet for one i’ll just make one up” that i only worked on for a couple of days. i’m glad it clicked for other people!

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i always try to respond to comments, although sometimes a week or two pass by before i can find the energy to sit down and do it

admittedly comments have gone unanswered during months or years when i’m not writing fic and then it feels too awkward to a) go back and respond, and b) respond to any further comments on the fic even if they come in when i’m active. so instead those comments haunt my ao3 inbox forever (oops)

i do appreciate every single one though, and there are some comments that i go back to read if i need a pick-me-up just because they were so nice 😊

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i’ll link my no. 6 fic forgive me because it still dominates my top fics in terms of hits despite being 387 words long. i wrote it in 2011 in less than half an hour, if i’m remembering correctly, and there are a few clever bits in it that i’m still quite proud of

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

i don’t usually write or read “pure” crossovers but i do like fusion AUs where characters from one work are imported into the setting of another work

but it’s fandom-dependent. critrole has been an outlier in that i can count on one hand the number of AU fics i’ve read and liked enough to remember. some of my favourite canon-adjacent fics veer off wildly, but they’ve still got their roots in the universe

i’ve published 17 critrole fics myself and they’re all canon-adjacent. i’m only now working on my first fusion-type AU 🤷‍♂️

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

i have one distinct memory of receiving criticism on a fic. in hindsight, it was constructive and pretty fair, but i was a young teen and so it still haunts me

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

i do!! and i’m excited about it because it’s fairly new to me!

i write to the characters, and what kind of relationship i think they’d have, but it’s probably true that my interests tend towards certain relationship dynamics

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i’m aware of!

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, actually! this was about about a decade ago so sadly the details have been lost in the haziness of memory and the inaccessibility of ffnet. i tried to dig it up last night but couldn’t find it again 😔

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i don’t ... think so? my current roommate and i tried co-writing when we were teenagers but none of that got published. it’s possible i’m forgetting something from my livejournal/early tumblr days because i remember doing a lot of ask games and challenges with other writers and fandom friends

now i’m just an introvert who avoids invites to discords because i feel like i simply Do Not Have Time so 🤡 not sure it’s anywhere on the horizon

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

i used to have shipping walls and pairing lists until 2015 or so but i have since accepted that i am changeable like the wind. my interests come and go!

i am a multi-shipper though as a general rule. i’ve never had such a loyalty to a pairing that it would bother me to pair one half with someone else, and i also don’t care at all whether or not a ship is canon. it’s just about what’s interesting!

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i’ve had remarkably sequential focus for my critrole fics and finished nearly every idea i’ve had so far. however, this ACME AU is testing me lol and i’ve spent so much time on it that my list of other ideas to write is only getting longer and longer. nothing is abandoned yet, because not much else has even been started, but i am starting to sweat a little

15) What are your writing strengths?

i love my writing style! i value simplicity and clarity: no flowery descriptions, easy words, few similes, little variance in sentence structures, etc. it can vary, based on my mood or the characters i’m writing, but i like doing more with less

i’ve spent years working at my own style and it is so satisfying to read something i wrote in 2011 and feel how familiar it still is while being able to pick out what i would change

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

recently, it’s been plot. if it can’t be conveyed by 2-4 characters talking to each other then i don’t know how to do it anymore 😭 i’m most invested in emotional resolutions, but it’s probably a good idea to have things happen sometimes!

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i really do not enjoy this when it’s used as a “character quirk”. this includes nicknames, common phrases even if they are spoken that way in canon, and .. everything, really, that’s in a different language

i’ve spent a lot of time in spaces where it seemed widely agreed that doing so was not welcome, and i’ve had considerable fandom “culture shock” reading critrole fics. there are plenty of reasons to have caleb speaking “zemnian” or to emphasize his accent, and those reasons don’t need to be lofty or deep, but i do think there should be a reason beyond “haha this guy says ja instead of yeah”

i promise, absolutely pinky swear, that i don’t judge anyone on an individual basis for doing this. it seems to be a deep-seated fandom trend in this case and i just wish it wasn’t

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

tsubasa reservoir chronicle (trc) all the way back in 2010. tsubasa, my beloved, how you changed my life 💕

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

i like different ones for different reasons, but the top contender might be such is the endlessness for nier automata. it’s a vampire/werewolf enemies-to-lovers fusion AU where i put 2b and 9s in an original universe of mine that i wrote about a lot when i was a teenager

i feel like i did a spectacular job of adapting the universe for nier and i thought i conveyed a lot about the world in a relatively short number of words (the entire fic is just under 5k). i’ve considered more than once that i should use this version of the universe going forward because i enjoy it so much!

-

thanks again for the tag, sky, and i’ll leave this open to anyone else who wants to try as i think most of my mutuals have already been included. don’t be shy about tagging me in your answer if you take my open invite as i love reading these! 💖

[hyucksong]

vengeance. pt.2| lee taeyong

summary: You survived, somehow. And you were planning on getting your vengeance. You’d be taking down the company from the inside -- and no one could stop you. (cont. of mafiahacker!taeyong blurb)

warning: cursing, violence, angst, blood

word count: 2k

   A splintering headache graced your consciousness; accompanied by indescribable pain shooting down every nerve in your battered body. With a low groan, you brought a hand up to your face, cracking your jaw loudly. As you pulled your hand away, you noticed blood covering your knuckles and bruises trailing down your arm. 

   Aside from the hangover-like headache and the tangible bruises and cuts, there was a deep hurt that encapsulated your heart and memories. “Damn,” You muttered, “This feels like the worse hangover ever.” With a sigh, you sat up, resting your tired arms on your knees that were pulled up close to your body.

    Scanning the area, you were surprised to see no guards around, or any living thing. A sudden rattling from a nearby trashcan forced a flinch from your body, but the small raccoon that ran from about it spread a smile across your face. 

   “So they leave without checking if their target it actually dead?” You hoisted yourself up, dusting off the dirt and dry flaking blood from your clothes. “Totally professional.” A loud sigh left your lips as you felt around your pockets and felt your keys and wallet. “Dumbasses.” Was all you said before walking out of the back of the building towards the parking lot, and eventually towards your small apartment.

   The keys fell into the bowl with a clink, the sound instilled a familiarity that calmed you as you mulled over the happenings of earlier that night. The single digital clock in your surprisingly tidy apartment beeped to signal the arrival of a new hour, 3:00 am. You paid no mind however, and instead shuffled your feet to your bathroom to inspect the damage done to your body, and most importantly your face. 

   After a mere few seconds of looking, you noticed the chip that was implanted behind your ear by the company must’ve short-circuited, since the area was irritated by a small but stinging burn. You clicked your tongue and touched the various cuts on your face, a strong anger taking over your senses.

   The company wanted to wipe you out for not killing a kid -- how fucked was that? They forced your closest friends to watch you die or die themselves. They hurt not only you, but they hurt what meant most to you. Your heart clenched as the image of Taeyong smiling at you came up, sending your emotions into a frenzy. You rubbed your face with your hands and turned on the shower, getting ready to clean up before devising a plan to bite the sons of bitches where it most hurt them:

   From the Inside.

-

   The Inside was both a literal and tangible place while also being an idiom -- there was a place, or more so group, called the ‘Inside’, consisting of the company’s best field workers and hackers; generally just the best personnel. You were one of the best, yes, but you were never part of this, “Inside”, you were more an all-rounder for all areas of the company that concerned disguise. But the delicious taste of vengeance coated your bloody tongue as you were consumed with the want to take down this bitch of a company; SM. You slept with a smirk on your face, hoping that the company would like what you were going to give them; they could even consider it a ‘going-away’ gift. From you. 

   When you woke up the next morning, you immediately set your plan into motion, knowing that this would take a year at least. Not only did you have to infiltrate the company, you also had to give yourself a whole new identity, which honestly wouldn’t be hard with your level of expertise, but you’d also have to gain the trust of the president of the company to make it into the Inside. There you could have full-time access to the control panels for the security of the company. This would let you go virtually unsuspected and undetectable to cameras, including those to the presidents office. From there you could kill him however you wanted, and trust me did you have ideas. 

   Yes, there were probably shorter ways, but none of them would be as clean and satisfactory as infiltrating from the deepest artery of SM. Grabbing your keys determinedly, you walked out the cozy apartment preparing to go out for a vast shopping spree for new clothes, makeup, a new apartment, and a whole new self. You were willing to spend any expense to get this job done, and you undeniably excited to watch the Jenga tower of the company fall as you took a block from its unstable base. 

-

   The boys were not part of the Inside, they were part of the NCT division. They specialized, generally, in international relations, whereas other divisions specialized in professional thievery or assassinations. Taeyong was the only member part of the Inside since all hackers were unless they were just starting out. Though you longed to see the boys, you knew you wouldn’t see them just wandering around the company floors. 

   You walked into the company on the last day of your sixth month, adorned by your new persona. The once bubbly and extroverted girl the company previously knew was now a cold and robotic individual who was a calculating as they came. You were still doing quite mundane things around the company, like finances and supply checks -- they were boring but necessary predecessors to your end goal. 

   You at at your desk, keeping your uptight personality through a stick-straight posture. You hair was flat-ironed with long bangs that covered your eyebrows, which helped hide your expressions. Your coldness kept people from getting close to you, and while you missed the human contact, you grew used to the loneliness. 

   “Wow, kid. You sure are a natural at this stuff. It’s like you’ve done this all before.” Your supervisor chimed, smiling at you. You suppressed a grin and looked her straight in the eyes, maintaining uncomfortably tense eye contact. “Thank you. The praise is unneeded but very much appreciated.” The high-up shifted awkwardly and quickly nodded before leaving your cubicle. You smirked at your spotless acting.

    “Mrs.Kim Sooyoung, please come up to meeting room five on floor three. Immediately.” You got up quickly and made your way to the said room that was announced over the intercom system. You responded to your new alias just as quick as your own name. You passed by a large mirror on the way, and you briefly glanced at your unrecognizable reflection. Your glasses,contouring and cool-toned makeup shaped a new face; your personality, living space, body language -- all was tailored to Ms.Kim Sooyoung, not L/N Y/N.

   You made your way into the meeting room, almost gasping when you saw the familiar faces of your old friends. You tried hard to skip over the abyss-like eyes of Taeyong, but you couldn’t help it. You rested for a moment on him, drinking in his tired but nonetheless flawless appearance. His eyes seemed to only flick over your face, not sparing you even a second. You internally huffed, knowing that it was better like this. You sat far away from the boys, but the burn of their stare still pained you. However, you wrote on your clipboard, ignoring the curious gazes.

   Chenle, however, ignored this unapproachable-ness and rolled his chair over to you with a childish smile that melted your heart. “You’re the new negotiation specialist, right? You look like it.” He laughed. “I’m Chenle, I’m part of the NCT Dream Division. I’m training to be a disguise specialist like --” He stopped himself, the room growing tense. You clenched your jaw as sadness crept through his expression. “Uh, never mind. Um, what’s your name?”

   You let out an annoyed sigh and turned to him with cold eyes. “Kim Sooyoung.” He waited for the rest of your introduction, but there was none left. Your voice threw him off from his anger, why did you sound so familiar? Your voice was knocking at the innermost parts of his memories. He brushed it off with an awkward smile however, but not before the whole room got the same thoughts. You cursed inwardly at yourself for not changing the tone of your voice. 

   Taeyong’s heart sped up at the sound of your first words; you said Kim Sooyoung, but you sounded so much like the hole in his heart. He shook his head and even rolled his eyes, trying to take his attention off of you, but he couldn’t keep his gaze from shifting back to you every once in a while. The tension didn’t release until the click of a doorknob caught everyone’s attention. Taeyong watched as your stiff body stood up and bowed at ninety degrees at the CEO and President of SM. He scoffed, the Y/N he knew and loved would never do that -- she hated the man.  

   “Mr.CEO, nice to meet you. I’m Kim Sooyoung of the Trades department. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Your voice rang off the walls. It was the only sound in the room. Mr.Sooman only nodded before sitting down in his creaky seat at the head of the table. “I know. You’ve been causing quite a stir, you know. Your negotiation skills are like no other. You’ve managed to get us some new supplies for much less than what they would’ve been. 

   “Thank you for the praise, Mr.Sooman.”

   “You’re welcome. This was why I called you to a meeting. I think your work is spectacular and I would love to promote you to a higher position for a talented division.” He motioned to the boys. “The men here are part of the --”

   “The NCT Division. I know. They consist of 21 members, all in separate sub-divisions of NCT Dream, NCT 127, inactive NCT U; the original, and the Chinese division of WayV.” The president chuckled and quirked an eyebrow at you. You pushed your sliding glasses up, the light shifting and bouncing off of them.

   “I did my research.” 

   “There’s no point in snooping. It’s annoying. What did you look into us for, anyway? Any reason other than because you’re annoying?” Your head whipped towards the sound of the hoarse voice. You met the sharp gaze of Taeyong. You narrowed your eyes at him. “Everyone knows of the divisions. This is a mafia company, after all. Everyone who joins knows. It’s not just a trade enterprise. Please,” You scoffed before continuing, “The only annoying thing here is you and your nagging voice. I’d appreciate it if you’d shut it.” The dead silence of the room made you panic, you definitely over-stepped your boundaries. His dark eyes never left yours.

   “You’re much more sharp-tongued than I previously thought. I’m glad I made this decision.” You cleared your throat and fixed your posture, turning away from Taeyong. “What would that decision be, sir?” He smirked and put his chin on his folded hands. “Well, you’ll be the negotiation specialist of the NCT Division.”

   You mentally cheered, knowing that your plan was drifting down the right river. But you reminded yourself that you had to keep your image. “And why would I want that?” You countered. You heard Taeyong mutter ‘ungrateful bitch’, and ignored the stab it gave your heart.

   “The NCT Division is the best one there is. It’d do you good to accept it.” The threateing voice of Mr.Sooman sent unwelcomed shivers down your spine, and you weakly nodded at his forceful tone. “Yes sir. I’m sorry.” He huffed and stood up.

   “That was all. I’ll leave the rest for Taeyong and the others. They’ll teach you the ropes. Dooyoung is the Negotiations leader, and you’ll shadow him for a while until you’re completely debriefed on how things run. I’ll be taking my leave now.” He left briskly and walked out, the door shutting loudly. 

   “Well, looks like you’re with us now.” You gathered your things and walked towards Dooyoung, who gave you a tight-lipped smile. “Please teach me well, Mr. --”

   “Dooyoung. Just call me Dooyoung. I’ll take you to the offices, so please follow close behind.” You nodded and started out the door, but not before looking at Taeyong and watching how his eyes trailed over you painfully. Your throat dried up and your heart twisted. 

   You found yourself not paying attention to Dooyoung as you repeatedly reminded yourself that you were here to take down SM; there was no way to go back to how things were with Taeyong. 

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 3...

[sweethazzababy]

Puppy Love

♡Harry surprises you with a puppy after a very stressful week of exams♡

Warnings: so. much. fluff. (literally) possible grammar/spelling mistakes lol it’s like 3 in the morning

Word Count: 2k 

A/N: Hey guys! This one is extremely cute and it makes me wish a cute guy would get me a puppy lol thank you for all of the support!! Enjoy :)

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Opening up the door to your apartment building you huff, annoyed at the day you just went through. Your head is pounding extremely hard from the stress of trying to memorize what felt like a million vocab terms. The exam you just painfully sat through, is just one of the exams that you studied massively for this week. And the result? Failure. You just have that gut feeling after finishing it, that you did indeed fail and all you need is a hug from your favorite person in the entire world. Harry.

You step into the elevator, leaning your head against the cool wall to hopefully ease the pounding in your head. Once you get to your floor, you drag your feet towards your apartment and groan in frustration when you can’t find your key digging through your bag. Finally, you find it at the very bottom of your bag and roll your eyes at how disorganized you are. You swear you’re losing your mind. Opening the door and walking inside you notice it’s strangely quiet.

“Harry?” You yell, your voice bouncing off the walls. No answer. You saw his car in the parking lot, but maybe he’s just taking a nap. After all of the hours he puts in writing and recording, his exhaustion has been extremely noticeable. You both have been working your asses off, you for your exams and his for his next album. After his debut was such a success, the pressures to create a second album that’s even better, is weighing him down. He shouldn’t be worried though; his fans are incredible and so loyal. Anything he puts out they’ll love.

You put your heavy bag down on the counter, relieving your shoulder from the aching that your textbooks caused. Once you hit the couch, you’re so tempted to close your eyes and sleep for an eternity. Each night you feel like you’ve been getting less and less hours of sleep.

Before you drift off, your eyes fall on a toy laying on the ground, right by the foot of the loveseat. Your eyebrows pull together, confusion swarming your head. It looks like a chew toy, and you just stare at it wondering why on earth there is a chew toy in your apartment. You don’t have any pets, although you’ve always wanted one. The thought of a little puppy or kitten running around warms your heart. You never had a pet growing up, and all you wanted was one to cherish as your own.

Reluctantly, you get up from the coziness of your couch and pick the chew toy up inspecting it. It has definitely been used, and at this point millions of questions are swirling around your brain. You squeeze it, and it squeaks quite loudly and you chuckle to yourself at the sound.

“Harry?” You yell again, but he is nowhere to be seen. You walk to your bedroom, and notice the door is closed which you don’t remember closing it when you left. Harry must be sleeping, he hates sleeping with it open. You try to open it as quietly as you can, not wanting the obnoxious creaking to wake him up.

As soon as you open the door, Harry immediately looks up as if you startled him. His face is flushed, his green irises as bright as ever.

“Babe, I thought you were sleeping.” You chuckle, walking over into his arms as he wraps them around the small of your back.

“No, I actually had a pretty busy day today…but aside from that how was your exam darlin’?” He’s speaking faster than normal and he seems frazzled but you brush it off. Harry smiles down at the pout on your face and you wish he didn’t bring up the memory.

“Ugh, don’t even talk about it. I definitely failed, and my life is definitely over. Not to mention, I have three more stupid exams to get through.” You mumble into his chest, hiding your face. All you want is to snuggle up with your boyfriend and avoid your problems. Harry’s hands run up and down your back soothingly, kissing the top of your head.

“I’m sorry love, but your life is definitely not over.” You lift your head from the softness of his chest to see him frowning.

“Mmmm, I think yes.” You argue, but then all of the sudden you remember the odd object you found in your living room.

“Wait, Harry do you mind explaining why I found a dog toy in our living room?” You ask, and immediately his eyes widen.

“Dammit!” Harry exclaims, a smirk growing on his face. Your eyebrows furrow even more at his reaction, and you’re just staring at him extremely muddled.

“Come here, wanna show you somethin’.” Harry grasps your hand, leading you out of the bedroom. You just look at him still questioning his odd behavior. He’s still smirking, his dimples as prominent as ever. He leads you over to the balcony door, but stops his tracks abruptly.

“Harry, what the hell is going on?” You ask dumbfounded. He just laughs at you, making you even more frustrated.

“Babe, close your eyes for me.” He says, completely amused. Excitement starts to course through you, because the anticipation on his face is intensely obvious. He’s biting his lip and fiddling with his rings, a tell tale sign that he’s nervous about something. You close your eyes, and feel him take your hand again as he opens the door, the fresh breeze hitting your face. You step out onto the balcony, eyes still closed.

“Harryyyy.” You complain impatiently. You hear him walk a few feet away from you, still refusing to say anything.

“Okay. Open.” He finally says, and you can practically hear his smile. Opening your eyes, they land on the tiny creature being cradled in Harry’s arms. Gasping, your hands slap to cover your mouth, eyes wide.

“Oh my gosh, Harry!” You exlaim, beaming at the sight and slightly jumping as joy radiates throughout your body. A tiny puppy is resting in his arms, cuddling into his chest. “Oh my God! Harry!”

You’re completely and utterly speechless and at a loss for words other than “oh my God” and you feel your jaw start to ache from smiling so wide.

“Surprise!” Harry cheered, his arms opening wide and his eyes twinkling with excitement. All of the sudden, you feel a burn and your eyes start to water.

“Harry…” You whisper, looking into his eyes fondly. You look down at the adorable creature in his arms, and reach out to take it from him. Harry lets go of the puppy as you gently lift it up and cradle it into your own arms the softness of its fur grazing against your arms.

“It’s a girl, and I haven’t got a name yet. I want you to choose it because after all, she is yours.” Harry says, lifting his hand to pet behind her soft ears. You gaze up at Harry, a lone tear slipping from the corner of your eye, your entire body feels so overwhelmed with joy.

“She’s absolutely beautiful Harry, I-I can’t believe you got me a puppy…I don’t even know what to say…” You exasperate, staring down at awe. At this very moment, you don’t think you could be in love with someone as much as you with the man standing in front of you. “I love you so much, thank you.”

“I know you’ve been working extremely hard for these exams and I figured a puppy would help with stress, and I thought you could use a companion for when I’m not around. Especially with touring and stuff.” A few more tears prick at the corners of your eyes, Harry’s thoughtfulness making your heart tingle as he looks at you holding your puppy with such adoration.

Harry wipes away your tears gently, caressing your cheek. “Love, don’t cry this is a happy moment!” He chuckles, dramatically flailing his arms with a beaming smile.

“I know, I-I’m just so happy, I’ve always wanted a puppy…” You trail off, looking down at the adorable ball cuddling into you.

“Hello sweet pea…” You lift the puppy up in front of you, speaking to her sweetly in your baby voice.

“She’s a pomsky, her dad is a Husky and her mom is a Pomeranian. She is jus’ too cute, I couldn’t resist.” Harry smiles, pulling you and your puppy into his arms kissing your forehead.

Her fur is white, spotted with a light and reddish brown near her ears and her icy blue eyes. And you swear you have never seen a puppy quite as beautiful as this one.

“Aren’t you a little angel?” You coo, speaking to the puppy with love laced through your tone. As soon as you say it, your eyes light up at the perfect name. “Angel…her name is Angel. Also, to name her after Only Angel.”

You gaze up at Harry again looking for approval and he grins widely, his green irises sparkling with crinkles at the corners of his eyes.

“I like it, but don’t get jealous if I tell the press that I wrote it about a puppy rather than you.” Harry jokes. 

“I can assure you I won’t get jealous of a puppy Harry, don’t be silly.” You shake your head at his ridiculous remark.

“You’re right, that would be silly.” He agrees, laughing at the lighthearted banter between you two. 

“I love you.” Harry graciously declares, leaning down to lock his lips with yours. Softly, he moves his lips against yours and slowly his tongue comes in contact. Still cradling Angel against you, your hand finds its way to his cheek, your thumb grazing against the softness of his skin. You feel him smile into you, and you can’t help but smile too as you’re embraced with so much love at the moment. His hand rests on your cheek as well, the coolness of his rings contrasting with the warmth radiating from the heat of your skin sending shivers down your spine. Harry hesitantly stops, and parts his lips from yours and you groan in return wanting more of him.

“Now, now, we have a child to take care off! What awful parents we would be if we jus’ neglected her by makin’ love all the time!” Harry teases, and you dramatically roll your eyes.

“You’re a dork.” You giggle, shaking your head. Harry pouts, puffing out his bottom lip knowing how much that drives you crazy wanting him to kiss you.

“How ‘bout we go inside now, I’m sure Angel doesn’t want to be out here any longer, especially with your false remarks.” Harry retorts trying to put on his most stern expression and you burst in laughter at how easily offended he gets when you tease him.

Walking inside, you let Angel down and her little paws start to prance around your living room sniffing every possible thing she can find. Standing and watching, a small smile spreads across your lips and your heart tingles not being able to take your eyes off of her. You’re already so in love.

“Oh no…I’m already bein’ replaced.” Harry notices you stare lovingly at your new puppy as if she’s grabbing all the attention. You snort at Harry’s dramatic remark, amused at the envy emitting from him. “This is going to be an issue.” Harry is standing next to you, his fingers picking at his pink lips as he glances at you and back at Angel. Slowly, a smirk forms as he teases even more.

“Jealous of a puppy Harry? Huh?” You giggle, taunting and poking at his side. He flinches trying to hide the small smirk on his face. “You are such a drama queen.” He scoffs at your statement making you giggle even more at his theatrical expressions.

“Hey! It doesn’t do well for my narcassism when I don’t get all of the attention.” You roll your eyes jokingly at his famous line that he established while he was on his tour. Harry steps to wrap his arms around your waist from behind, slowly pebbling kisses from your shoulder, all the way up your neck to your ear.

“I love you.” You soothe, closing your eyes as you lean your head back against him.

“I love you.” He replies, kissing your cheek. “Is your life still over?”

You didn’t even realize that the thought of that stupid exam you took completely vanished from your thoughts. “Mmmm...depends..” You trail off continuing your back-and-forth banter.

“Heyyyy…” Harry whines, immediately tickling your sides making you spasm out of his grip. 

“Stop!” You laugh, brushing his hand away. 

“Now, where is that stupid chew toy that you were not supposed to see earlier?” 

[newlifenewdeath]

Munday Meme

Name: Aesa / Leila

Pronouns: She / Her

Selectivity: I always say I’m semi, but when it comes to following people first I’m always kinda picky.

Favorite animal: Oh, hmmmm I’m gonna fall back on my classic answer: cheetahs!

Favorite muse you’ve had so far ever: Ever? Honestly I’ve gotta say right now it feels like Lola. She’s fun to write as and people are liking the way I write her, and the game hasn’t even released yet. I’ll give honorable mentions to a couple of OCs I rped a while back, a Marvel gal named Trinity and a DC lad named Castor. I miss them to bits.

Muse you kinda wanna pick up: Um, well since I added a verse for the game and have been replaying it and its spin off recently I have to say one of the main trio from inFamous: Second Son. I’ve always wanted to rp as Delsin but I love Fetch ad Eugene just as much. I’m kinda gravitating towards Fetch though when I toy with the idea, even though I’d love to write any of them.

Most identifiable fictional character: This one’s very difficult. Very, very difficult because as I am right now, I’m not sure I can think of anyone that really comes close to being like me. I know when I was younger I identified a lot with Jim Hawkins from Treasure Planet, y’know I was living with just my mom for so long and rarely saw my dad, I wanted to be a good daughter but got caught up in daydreaming all the time. Nowadays though... I’m just not sure.

What color your aura is/think it is: It’s probably a really deep violet, a blue-leaning sort of purple.

Personality stuff you agree with (astrology, mbti, Hogwarts house, etc be as specific as you want!): I may not understand a lot of astrology stuff but my sun sign, Taurus, I 100% am on board with. Y’know, until people are being ridiculous and reducing my sign to “oh I’m always hungry”. I don’t actually care for my Hogwarts House anymore because with the introduction of Ilvermorny it solved the problem I had for so long with Hogwarts’ sorting situation. With them I was always toeing the line between Ravenclaw and Slytherin, both are very mentally-inclind houses and I fit them both. Now I just stick with Horned Serpent at Ilvermorny because their entire premise is about importance placed on one’s mind.

Do you think you’re a good driver: Sure would like to know, if only my anxiety would let me breathe when I get behind the wheel. c:

Favorite minor discourse (pinapple on pizza, what color is the dress, etc): Idk I don’t relly get into the petty discourse that gets super popular. Maybe I can say I love mint ice cream? Like I know there’s a swath of people that think it tastes like toothpaste. They’re wrong, of course.

Favorite vine and/or meme: I don’t really... have favorites. Like I wasn’t really into vine when it was alive and I mean, I just don’t think about memes that much to have a particular favorite? I’m a bland human being, I guess.

Why did you choose this muse: This’ll be a two parter since I have two muses. Lola came about first, as soon as we got the teaser image for Afterparty I was excited beyond belief. I loved Oxenfree and played the shit out of it when it hit ps4. (I’d even have the platinum if I hadn’t fucked up on my last playthrough, oops). And the Night School tumblr posts periodic things with character and concept art, and eventually the first trailer dropped and I lost my shit. I immediately fell if love with Lola and Milo, and I decided awhile back to try and make a different multi blog with Lola, Alex from Oxenfree, and Mae from Night in the Woods. It was a sideblog with a pretty niche audience so things were quiet there. It wasnt until DBH happened that gears really started turning.

Because lemme tell you, I kinda wanted to not like Detroit: BH. I’d watched playthroughs of Beyond Two Souls and heard a lot of good stuff about Heavy Rain’s story. For some reason though I just wasn’t feeling the promotional stuff for DBH. I only decided to check out the playthrough I finished watching because I really love and trust the Youtuber who made it. I didn’t know shit going into except that there were androids and I’d seen glimpses of Kara before. So of course Jesse fucking Williams is in it and sweeps me off my god damn feet. I think I made it through what would amount to a couple of hours of gameplay (broken into parts ofc) before deciding to uproot Lola from her old blog and buddy her up with Markus.

Favorite rp memory: Hmmm. It’s a lot less actual roleplaying and more, I guess more of the acceptance. A few years back, right around the time Agents of SHIELD first aired, I made an OC I actually mentioned up above, Trinity Duvall. I was toying with the idea of making a super powered character that wasn’t necessarily a cape-and-costume kind of gal, because I was like... 17 and had no experience with the original comics or anything other than mainstream superhero stuff at the time. I decided I wanted her powers to not be her own, but tied to a stone that landed inside a meteorite, and that the stone would actually have the soul of an alien being tied to it. It’s a little complicated so I on’t go into details, but I felt at the time like I was taking a gamble. I wrte a couple oneshots about her, applied to a forum rp with her, and eventually ended up doing private rp stories with someone I met through that forum. Never once did I have to change her, she was just welcomed right away. And coming off a shitty run of luck with the first site I’d rped on? It was the confidence boost I really needed.

Favorite thing you’ve written, in rp or not: It might sound a little silly, but I’ve mentioned Defiance on her a couple times so why not. The one story I’m most proud of writing is actually on FF.N, it’s called Fragility. It’s a short oneshot, not even 2k words. At the time I was trying to just write as often as possible even if I hated what I wrote afterwards, but this one... It provides an ending for a character the show kinda leaves in the void. A man comes home from space to find out the whole world has changed, an entire war has left the Earth terraformed with humans and aliens living together. He ends up finding out his wife’s still alive but oops, he’s actually not the real Gordon he’s just an alien that was implanted with Gordon’s memories. Every now and then I go back and read that little story and every time I do I still feel proud.

A line/lyrics/quote/etc you like or that means a lot to you: Nothing really jumped out as a favorite, so I went looking and found this passage I rather like from Phillip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy:  “There’s plenty of folk as’d like to have a lion as a dæmon and they end up with a poodle. And till they learn to be satisfied with what they are, they’re going to be fretful about it. Waste of feeling, that is.”

Give a shout-out to someone: @softestmood has been my best friend for the past year now, and they’ve made me feel loved even when I felt I was worthless. I feel like I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t met Rae, and I’ll always be thankful for that <3

Tagged by: ghost tagged by @oraculideluna, anoter sweetheart~

Tagging: @flawedcodinq @justmachincs @disciplinarynovel

[moriganshaw]

Indie Author Adventures #19

Helloooo and happy Revenge of the Fifth day to you! (What? You're just now realizing I'm a geek? Really? 😉🤓) Here we are again on our weekly post about all things indie - or at least a few random indie thoughts.🧐 Each week I share some of the wins, challenges, and tricks I've learned (and am learning) along this indie-author journey -- and hopefully, it will help someone out there on theirs! So, let's jump in. This Past Week This past week has been chock-full of #WriterProblems... well, one in particular... I'm sure you're familiar with it... Too Many Ideas & Not Enough Time Yep, I'm suffering bad from it. But... let's be honest here, that's a good problem to have, right? I mean sure, it's frustrating, annoying, and can lead to overwhelm and the dreaded procrastination that impersonates 'being busy'... but still, I'd much rather have too many ideas, than too few. This is also a leading problem that multi-passionate entrepreneurs face. All. The. Time. And since I am both an entrepreneur and a writer... DOUBLE WHAMMY! 👹 For those who don't know, I run a tech business, doing everything from web development, hosting, and more for both local clients, and the much larger 'division' of my biz focuses on indie authors.  (Author's Mojo). And... woooo do I have something fun and awesome coming up for you all with Author's Mojo!  I'm excited!!!  I can't talk much about it quite yet... but it will be launching very soon and I'll be sharing it out with all my friends who want to participate. But - my real love and passion - even more than tech - is writing. And while the tech-biz helps pay the bills (a necessary evil)... I find myself almost in withdrawal during the busy times when I don't have as many hours to devote to my writing. It's a conundrum for sure... and it makes me a wee bit cranky, I must admit. Truly though, the only thing we can do during those times is WHAT WE CAN DO. How many times have you made plans for what you were going to get done in a day... and then get to the end of that day, worn out, exhausted, and only half way (if you're lucky) through the list of things you KNEW you were going to be able to get done? Sound familiar, anyone? Yeah - we all do it. And a little spoiler alert... as you get older... that can sometimes get worse. In my head I am still in my twenties... but my body vehemently disagrees with that notion, and rebels frequently when I try to force the issue. 😉 So -- here's how I deal with it. And this may make perfect sense to you... or it may sound like a load of rubbish -- either is okay, we all have our own methods and ways that work for us. I go back to the start. To the basics. To the absolute foundation of my goals. My Priorities. Because, let's be very clear here... sometimes our goals and our true soul-deep priorities do NOT line up.  And that's where we get into trouble. And that's what contributes to the stress, strife, angst, feelings-of-failure, overwhelm, etc. Here's how I do it: Step 1 -- I write down my TRUE priorities.  My son, my health, my spirituality, what my heart TRULY wants... NOT what I "should" want based on what everyone else's opinions are, or what society deems as what I am "supposed" to do. Step 2 -- I write down everything I want to do. All the projects. All the random ideas. All of it. Step 3 -- I compare.  Is everything I wrote down on that "want-to-do" list in alignment with my actual priorities? It's important to sometimes take a step back and get really, super clear on what it is that is truly important to you, and then look at those things you say you want to do, to have, to be... and examine them... are they really what YOU want... or are they what you think is EXPECTED? That's great - but how do I apply that to all the different books I know I want to write?! It's pretty similar actually. Look at all the book projects you have that you want to get written. Then look over that list of your priorities. Do any of those book ideas resonate with your priorities?  Do any of them FEEL better/fun/more relevant than the others? Yeah - it sounds kinda' "woo-woo" I know... but it works for me.  If you choose your projects based on what lines up with your priorities - you'll find it is MUCH easier to get "into the flow" of it, and much less apt to cause you stress, overwhelm, resentment and all that negativity. But - of course - that's just my two-cents! 😉🤪 What I Accomplished Masterclass workshop on Wordpress / Elementor Pro Scheduled posts for the month for biz Compared Mac Dictate and Dragon Naturally Speaking -- (🐲 was the big winner, btw!) 2 newsletters 2 blog posts 3 websites Facebook Live Author tech coaching class 2k words written (not ideal... but better than 0!) Big Takeaway Get clear -- really clear -- on what you want, and you'll find a lot of the "to do's" were really someone else's "Should do"... then smile and gleefully dump it from your list! Read the full article