#i zone out a lot in public spaces especially when its crowded

[min-play]

learned what overwhelmed means

[fandomlovingfreak]

Glacial Passion (6/?)

Regulus Black/Reader

Rating: SFW, T+, NO LEMON

Trigger Warning: Arranged Marriage

Word Count: 1991

MasterList Link I AO3 Link I Wattpad Link

Summary: Glacial, cold, icy… all words that described Regulus Black’s grey eyes. Was there truly no emotion behind those eyes, or did a caring man exist beneath? Could she defrost those glacial eyes?

Disclaimer: Regulus Black (Walburga Black, Orion Black, and Sirius Black) is a character from Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling. Reader or y/n is not owned by Rowling. This work has not been created for profit or financial compensation, and is a transformative fair use work in accordance with Section 107 of the United States Copyright Act.

Notes: No real notes today! I hope you enjoy. This story took a “lighter tone” than I expected (at least I hadn’t expected it to, maybe you did ! aha!) but I actually like writing happier stories so I guess my brain just went “cowabummer bro, you’re writing some happy fiction even if you didn’t want to”

Enjoy

***

"Where are we going?" (y/n) asks. 

Regulus felt a bit relieved that (y/n) agreed to come along on his little surprise trip. After last night, which he now realized was a complete mistake, he wasn't sure that his wife would willingly agree to go out in public with him. Especially if he promised some sort of surprise.

She hadn't asked him any questions until they were walking outside, her arm tucked nicely within his. Like it was meant to be there.

"If I told you, it would ruin the surprise." Regulus glances over at his wife. She's got a deep frown on her face. It doesn't exactly mar her beautiful face, but it reminds him a bit too much of his mother's annoyed expression. "Just trust me."

Her little huff of annoyance he decides is enough of a response.

Regulus tries to think of Sirius's advice. Get to know (y/n), even the small things he personally thought were unnecessary to know about a person-- moot things about her. And in turn, be vulnerable enough to share small things back.

"So-- uh, (y/n)."

"Yes?" she looks at him with confusion in her eyes.

"I thought we ought to try and start fresh."

"Fresh?"

"I don't know how else to move from here if we don't have a clean slate."

"I hardly think that would work."

Merlin-- "(y/n)," he stops, halting her as well, "I said I would try to give you what you want. If you shut me down, there's no chance I can."

She gives him a look, "Regulus--"

"Listen," he inhales, collecting himself, "I'm not good at this. You'll have to be patient with me, but I'm willing to figure this out. And I probably won't--" He pauses, "I probably will mess up, a lot. But, please. Give me a chance."

(y/n) studies his face, "Okay."

"Okay?"

"I understand that I'm asking you to step outside of your comfort zone, and I appreciate that you're being open with me."

Regulus smiles, muttering, "Sirius was right." Under his breath.

"What?" (y/n) asks.

"Nothing." Regulus takes her hand in his, "this can be like our first date."

(y/n) smiles, amused, "this is silly--"

"I was serious last night that I will try."

"No pretending. You swear you will not pretend with me?"

"That's why I am asking that we start fresh. Give me a chance. I'm not good at this-- relationships. I need time and patience."

She seems to contemplate his words, "Okay. But--"

"Yes?"

(y/n) looks down at her feet for a moment before looking at him again, "If we're going to-- start over, it needs to be slower."

"Slower?" He frowns. What the devil is she talking about, slower?

"I mean," (y/n) purses her lips, "I mean that it has to feel like we're actually starting a new relationship."

Regulus chuckles, "you want me to court you?"

(y/n) smiles, "if those are the words you think describes what we are trying to do, then yes. I think I would like you to court me."

Now he feels silly making the suggestion because he has no idea what courting entails. He can barely flirt!

"I mean-- I can try."

(y/n) grins. He's at a loss for words. Not once in the time he's known her-- been married to her, has he seen her look this happy. Clearly, Sirius's advice was half-decent. For the first time since (y/n) walked down the aisle towards him, he felt something. Hopefully, the beginning of something great between them.

***

"You brought me to— the Eiffel tower?" (Y/n) looks up towards the cloudy sky.

Regulus flushes, "It's not just the Eiffel Tower."

(Y/n) laughs, "it looks like it's just the Eiffel Tower—"

"Just—"Regulus lets out a frustrated sound, "it's more than that." He pulls her towards one of the legs of the metal tower. He supposes that enough muggles are wandering around that they wouldn't notice the disappearance of the young couple. He pulls his wand out of thin air, tapping where the witch at the hotel told him to. The metal of the tower seems to melt and twist, magically revealing an entrance.

"What—"(y/n) grips his hand tighter, "I had no idea."

"Neither did I. It's called Caché à la Vue," Regulus grins, "c'mon, Mrs. Black."

They walk through the entrance, the metal contorting back into shape behind them.

In front of them, a bustling street moves around them. Wizards and Witches bustle around carrying cauldrons, brooms, and colorful bags holding other wizarding tools. A group of young girls rushes by, giggling in their blue Beauxbaton school uniforms. 

"Oh— it feels like Diagon Alley," (y/n) comments as she steps closer to him, her shoulder bumping his arm as she squeezes his hand.

Regulus nods, keeping her close as they walk further into the crowd.

"I didn't expect it to be like this," he glances at (y/n). She's looking around with interest at the many shops and people. 

"Let's go in here," she's pulling him towards a shop that smells of lavender and sage. The shop is small but comforting with its earthy color scheme and almost luminescent glow. 

"Oh wow," (y/n) detaches herself from him for the first time since crossing into Caché à la Vue. Regulus watches her poke around the shop, always keeping a two-foot distance from her.

(y/n) seems to notice the hovering, "Why are you-- being so weird?" She's got an amused smile on her face. Regulus tries to relax, stepping a foot closer.

"I'm just giving you space."

"Don't you want to look too?" (y/n) beckons him closer, reaching for his hand. He obliges his wife, letting her point out small trinkets and items. 

***

The busy street of Caché à la Vue frames Regulus as I sit across from him. Once we had explored nearly every shop on the busy street, Regulus had tugged me towards one of the little Bistros, mumbling about it being a recommendation or something of that sort. I didn't fight his insistence to stop and eat. I hadn't had much for breakfast or lunch back at the hotel.

The afternoon hadn't been awful. In fact, I was enjoying myself more than I expected. It only partly-- honestly, completely, had to do with the sudden changes in how Regulus and I interacted. He suddenly was more sociable and curious about who I was. Which was sort of confusing, but at this moment, I felt more confident in our marriage. That maybe we did have a chance to fall in love, or even just co-exist happily together. If co-existing was all that could come from this, then I wished it to be at least a peaceful union.

Yet, I want to know him as much as he seems to suddenly want to know me, so I ask questions about his childhood and his life. At first, he seems reserved to answer some of my inquiries, making me more curious about the information he is holding back from me. 

"So--" I set down my teacup, "how was it like growing up in Grimmauld Place?"

This seems to be another question he hesitates over as he stares down at his plate for a full thirty seconds, making me nervous.

"Do you want the truth?"

I stiffen. The tone of his voice has me wondering if it was a good question to ask after all, "I would if you don't mind answering."

Regulus takes another moment to collect his thoughts, "I don't really remember much before going to school. My parents are-- you can probably tell they are not the friendliest of people." The understatement of the century. "They weren't good parents, if I'm being honest."

"What do you mean?" I suddenly feel uncomfortable as I continue down this path.

"(y/n), maybe this isn't a conversation for public." Merlin, that only makes me want to press for more information, but the look on his face tells me all I need to know at this moment. He will tell me the truth, but if he's more comfortable doing so behind closed doors, who am I to push him for an answer right now?

"Is it that bad?" I do feel a bit sick over how he's reacting to this question.

He looks down at his hands before looking back at me. His eyes are back to the icy grey I know so well. "It's not great." I have to look away from his eyes. "Do you know I have an older brother?"

"But--" Regulus is the Heir? How could he have--?

"Sirius was disowned when he was sixteen, effectively passing the burden of the House of Black to me."

"Do you still-- are you still in contact with him--Sirius?"

"I am, but privately. Walburga wouldn't approve. She likes to think that Sirius never existed in the first place."

"That's horrible!" I couldn't imagine pretending one's child never existed-- "what did Sirius do?"

"He ran away after refusing-- well refusing to do what we have done, I suppose." I stare at Regulus, shocked.

"I mean, he didn't-- doesn't believe in the Pureblood idealogy."

I pause, reflecting for a moment on his words. Is he saying Sirius ran away when his parents tried to make a match between himself and some Pureblood girl?

"Are you saying he ran away from an arranged marriage?" Regulus nods.

Merlin's-- He was only sixteen? "Your parents, they really tried to-- he was so young--?"

Regulus nods, "Too young, I know." Not that I felt the ages we were are any more acceptable, but sixteen? He would've been in the middle of school! Just a kid!

"I can't blame him for running away--" I let the words slip without thinking, quickly feeling guilty for saying such a thing to the man I'm married to. The man I married for the same reason his brother left the exclusive circle we exist within. "No offense, of course--" 

Instead of looking offended or getting angry, how I expect, Regulus laughs. A real genuine laugh.

"It's not that funny, Regulus!" The words had just slipped out of my mouth before my brain processed my rudeness.

"You are exactly like Sirius. It's freakish." He grins.

"What does that mean?" I'm hopeful he's complimenting me.

Regulus takes my hand in his over the table, "You just remind me of him. Both of you are unapologetically yourselves. I envy that."

I want to tell him I'm nothing like his brother. Sirius was able to leave the life we grew up in. I clearly didn't have the balls to leave. But, I don't want to say that, not when we're getting along so well right now. 

"You can be unapologetically yourself, Regulus."

His smile is small as he looks down at our intertwined fingers, "I'm afraid I can't be. At least not publically."

"I can't exactly be publically myself either, especially now, but maybe in private, yeah? When it's just us."

He gently lifts my hand up to tenderly press a kiss to my knuckles. My breath hitches at the suddenness of his actions, and I feel suddenly warm. "When it's just us." His agreement, the tone of his voice when he agrees-- it's incredibly intimate.

Dumbly, I nod. Regulus smiles, kindness reaching his eyes and thawing out the ice they held earlier.

After a beat of silence, one I could not find words to fill, Regulus speaks. "Was there anything else you wanted to see?"

I find my voice, at last, saying I did not believe so. 

***

I felt delirious with desire watching her squirm after my lips left her knuckles. 

Something about (y/n) fascinated me and made me want her, all of her. I knew she felt the same way, even after the way our relationship started. I could tell by the way her lips parted and her breath hitched that she felt that spark between us. 

That spark gave me some hope that everything was going to turn out just fine.

[erekiosuncreativeideas]

The Part-Time Puppeteer - Chapter 06

<= Chapter 5

Summary : Lukas gets to have a heart-to-heart discussion with an absolute asshole. Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/23828971/chapters/81015496

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AAAAH I'M SORRY FOR THE TWO MONTHS HIATUS I HAD A WRITER BLOCK---

Anyway uuuh, new chapter, I have no idea if it's good or not but still, here it is. I did my best to offer you a longer chapter as a compensation, it's twice the length of the last one.

Happy reading ! Thank you for waiting all this time.

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Chapter 6 - “Oh. It’s you.”

The rest of the day had been… Quite blurry for the student. After coming back home, he had sat down at his desk, staring into space for… Minutes, hours, he hadn’t been able to tell. It was an understatement to say that he was in shock after what had happened. Even after everything, his mind couldn’t help but think this was just a joke, or that he had imagined the whole thing. But the script in his bag was a proof of the contrary. For a good while, the young man hadn’t found the courage to look back at it, as if it were some sort of cursed object, haunting him. But then, the Conductor’s words came back to him: “learn your text by tomorrow”. An order, a clear one, coming from one of his bosses. The student shivered as he remembered, soon bringing his hands to his face, massaging his closed, tired eyes. Oh, boy, why did he always get in that kind of situation… Even when he was a kid, he would often get dragged in things like this. He had thought this would get better as he grew up, but noooo, of fucking course it wouldn’t. Lukas let out a loud, long, exaggerated sigh, and stood up. He walked to his sofa bed all while dragging his feet and, once he was in front of it, it was like what was left of his energy left him. What a day . With another sigh, the student felt his body fall forward, and it wasn’t long before his face hit one of his pillows. Air was forced out of his lungs by the impact, though he did nothing but grunt in the fabric. Him? An actor? This couldn’t be right, this just… It wasn’t right. Sure, MJ was a jerk, but he still had the skills and the experience! In comparison, Lukas was just a law student- not a bad one, mind you, which only made it even more surprising to see him getting the role. It wasn’t like he had chosen the wrong scholar path, no, on the contrary, he was skilled in his major. But apparently, his bosses had seen something else deep inside that walking shell of anxiety… -“Uuuuugh...” his voice was low and tired. For a moment, he thought he was almost going to fall asleep like this, still wearing his clothes, but he reluctantly sat down. With a look full of weariness and unwillingness, the student’s attention went back to his bag, in which the script was. He didn’t want to learn the lines, and a single glance at his desk full of homework was a good way to understand why. But it seemed like his paycheck was now depending on it, as much as he would have preferred to remain a stagehand… -“Guess I don’t have a choice…” he mumbled, before moving his foot to reach for the bag, making it slide towards him, so he could open it. He supposed that he would be able to scribble down the answers to his homework during his lunch break… Or, at least, he hoped. And so, the young man spent the next two hours learning his lines, saying them out loud, so he could remember them. A good thing about his brain was that it learned pretty well from words and sounds. Thus, by saying them out loud, Lukas was pretty efficient in remembering them. Plus, truth to be told, those lines weren’t exactly as hard to learn as his law books… Not that it was a bad thing, far from it. At least, it made his job far easier. However, he wasn’t going to lie, there were a few parts that were harder to remember. Once he was done, the student hesitated on whether he should go to sleep (the reasonable option) or try to get some of his homework done. Sure, he was pretty tired, and the day had been filled by a lot of diverse emotions… But part of him knew he just wouldn’t be able to fall asleep knowing what awaited him the day after. He had always been very anxious, this was a secret to no one, and especially not himself… However, this whole thing was very new, and it made it all worse. And so… The student ended up staying up late until three in the morning, managing to get most of his homework done. One of the perks of being good at a subject was being fast. Of course, this would have given him much better results if he had worked on it seriously, without all the tiredness and all, but the context wasn’t really allowing him that.

Thus, Lukas packed up his college stuff for the next day and soon went to sleep for one very short night. Oh, well, not his first, far from it. Thankfully, he had a few sleeping meds he had kept from an old treatment, allowing him to fall asleep rather quick. However, this always came at a price- they made waking up a much more difficult moment, as his body was still very much under the influence of the medicine when that happened. And the next morning… Was no exception, especially since he only got to sleep for less than three hours. Fighting the urge to go back to sleep, Lukas managed to get up and prepare himself for college. New clothes, brushing his hair and teeth… It only took him a moment until he was ready to leave his small apartment. Oh, his face, however… It looked like it belonged to a rotten corpse, who had just come back to life… Somewhat. The trip to college was pretty ordinary, and so was his morning and afternoon, actually. He gave his teachers all the papers that were due, he aced one of his oral presentation despite looking like a dead man… No, really, this day was going well, which was surprising considering he was mostly surviving thanks to coffee and to the fear of collapsing in public. Yeah, no, he didn’t want any attention on him… Which was a funny thing to think about, because this was exactly what he was going to get with his new job! Once his classes were over, Lukas took the bus to his workplace, dread settling on his shoulders, heavier and heavier as the minutes passed. Oh, he didn’t want to get that role… Of course, he could tell his bosses, but there was a small part of him, deep down, that was curious about where this would lead him. Now, obviously, being a stagehand was a pretty classic job, one without risks… But this? While he was terrified of screwing up, especially since people would be looking at him… Yeah, there was something that prevented him from refusing this promotion. And, also, if that could piss MJ off, then it was a good bonus. The studio reception was calm compared to the day before and, for a moment, just a small moment, the student thought his shift was going to be nice. But ooh, no, he couldn’t have nice things- the moment he opened the door leading to the staff areas, he winced as many voices echoed around him. They were coming from all directions, through walls, doors too! It was a large cacophony in there, and people were running around, carrying stuff and bringing props for each shooting. Actions movies, dramas, comedies… Each type had its own part of the studio, but there was this central room linking them all together and, oh, this place was just a battlefield. Moving fast through the agitated crowd, Lukas tried to reach his accredited part of the studio- the children shows shootings. Avoiding props almost falling on his feet accidentally, sneaking between people carrying hot coffee, and bending down to avoid planks being carried around… He bumped into someone just before he got to open the door leading to his area. -“Oh, I- I’m sorry,” he stammered, quickly moving back, so he could apologize properly to the person he had bumped into. However, his eyes widened when he recognized the figure in front of him. Mike! The good twin. For a second, the latter’s face had alarmed him, as he thought he had bumped into MJ instead… But thankfully, while having the same face, the two brothers had very different hairstyles and fashion choices. The student let out a sigh- phew, he wasn’t sure he would have been ready for MJ’s bullshit right at the beginning of his shift. -“Oh, hey!” Mike seemed almost as surprised as he was, though his expression quickly changed to a warm, welcoming one: “Good to see you again- oh, wait, let’s, uh… Get inside,” he then mumbled, opening the door quickly so they both could leave the absolute war zone they were in. Lukas didn’t lose any time and followed the other like a shadow would, only getting the opportunity to sigh in relief as they found themselves in a much quieter place. Kinda ironic that the children shows part of the

studio was calmer than the staff hall... -“Hey,” he finally replied, now that the “battlefield” was behind them: “It’s good to see you too,” he answered trustfully, with a smile. He hadn’t seen the other since MJ’s outburst the day before, and getting the chance to meet him again was a good way of making Lukas’ day a little better and… Less chaotic. -“How are you?” he then asked, deciding to take a moment for a conversation with his only friend in the studio so far. Plus, he was… Worried. With what had happened the day before, and how MJ had thrown Mike’s puppet on the floor like it was nothing, he wanted to make sure everything was okay. -“Oh, I’m… Doing fine,” the other looked away with an awkward smile, which was an obvious sign that things had definitely happened yesterday. With how furious the actor had been when leaving the shooting, Lukas could very well imagine the latter taking his frustration on his brother. What an asshole. But, it was family business, and he couldn’t say anything about it, as a stranger. -“What about you?” Mike added quickly, visibly determined on changing the topic: “I heard you got the role, yesterday. Congrats!” The praise took the student by surprise, and he felt his cheeks reddening from the embarrassment. Oh, man, this was new, yeah… He wasn’t used to that kind of thing. His stance tensed up, and a sheepish smile took place on his lips. -“Oh, uh… Thanks,” he blurted out, and it was his turn to look away: “It’s… Really weird, I guess I’m just… Feeling a bit shocked, you know?” he turned his head back to his new friend and a nervous giggle escaped him. He was fidgeting, not really knowing how to respond to that. -“Ah, yeah, it’s your first time,” Mike nodded, remembering that Lukas had first been hired as a stagehand, not as an actor: “Don’t worry, children shows are the perfect way to start as a beginner. You know, with the public being less critical and all… I’m sure you’ll get used to it in no time.” The puppet maker was kind, trying to reassure Lukas and ease his anxiety. Too bad that his stage fight was skyrocketing since the moment he had stepped in the building again… Another nervous giggle left his lips, and he started to rub his arm, not knowing what to do with his hands. -“I suppose so…” he muttered, still smiling, though it looked less genuine: “It’s just that… I mean… Why me? I’m just a guy who wanted a part-time job. I’m not an actor, I don’t have any experience…” -“Well, from what I’ve heard, you were pretty good yesterday- oh, speaking about that…” Mike’s face darkened, as if he had just remember to mention something unpleasant: “I think you should… Avoid MJ, as much as you can, from now on. My brother, he’s… He didn’t take it well, I’m not gonna lie, and… I mean, you saw how he is with people, he’s not the best at being with others. Now, with what happened yesterday, I don’t think he’ll make your life any easier.” The student grimaced as he listened to his friend. Yeah… Yeah, he had seen that coming. With how livid MJ had been when leaving the set, it wasn’t surprising that the latter was going to make his shifts hell. God, he really hoped he would manage to avoid that jerk… -“Yeah, I… Kinda expected that,” he admitted, tilting his head to the side with a wince: “But, uh… Since he’s not part of the team anymore, I shouldn’t run too much into him… Right?” -“I wish I’d say yes, but…” Mike answered, his face showing conflict: “He has some other roles in the studio, and he might come see me now and then, so… Yeah. Be careful and do your best to avoid him. He’s not… The best person to be around when he’s like this.” “Oh, you mean all the time, then?” Lukas thought to himself, but kept his mouth shut. Not the best thing to say out loud, especially when it came to said person’s twin. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder why Mike was making so many efforts for someone that clearly didn’t deserve them… But, then again, he was a stranger, it wasn’t his place to say anything. -“Will do,” he assured his friend, before looking at his watch and- oh, shit, he was going to

be late. Apparently, it must have been visible from his expression, because the puppet maker let out a soft giggle: -“Oh, yeah, it’s time,” he looked up, as if he were trying to remember something: “Last time I saw the Conductor and DJ Grooves, they were in the conference room with some investors. You should go practice in the meantime… My workshop is open, if you want,” he offered with a shrug: “It’s a small room, but I’m normally the only one there, so if you wanna have some quiet, alone time to rehearse, well… I need to help the stagehands for some set repairs, so I won’t bother you.” The offer was a really nice attention, another one that did help to make Lukas’ day a little better. Considering his promotion, he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to help the other stagehands while waiting for his bosses, but… Well, practicing really wouldn’t hurt, especially considering how short his night had been. -“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” he gave Mike a warm smile, before pointing to a door on the other side of the room: “It’s this one, right?” he asked for confirmation. -“Yep, that’s the one! Just, uh… Please don’t touch anything, most of the puppets and costumes aren’t done, so they’re quite fragile.” Lukas assured him he wouldn’t, and even then, he didn’t have any reason to. At least, contrary to his friend’s twin, he knew how to respect someone’s work… And with that, the two waved to one another, before heading to opposite directions. The student walked to the door with a quick pace, wanting to get as much time as possible to practice. When he opened it, he was surprised to see that, yeah, the room was pretty small indeed, even smaller than what he had imagined. The place was full of puppets hanging from the ceiling, and the walls were covered in eccentric and colorful clothes. It was almost eye straining! Two out of the four corners of the rooms were used to stock supplies and different types of fabric, making the room even smaller than it originally was. Then, hidden in the third corner was a desk with a sewing machine on top of it. It looked like an old but durable one, the kind that would last years even if it was out-of-date. Other than that, the desk was full of smaller supplies, like needles, sewing threads, pens, pieces of paper, templates… It was like this room had no free space other than the center of it. Well, Lukas supposed this is where he would rehearse, then. Not like there were many other option… The young man closed the door behind him and made a few steps, his eyes looking all around him. He didn’t think it was possible to fit so many things in a single room, but, hey, he was wrong! He then shook his head- it was time to work. After clearing his throat, the student opened his bag and took the script out, flipping the pages up to the parts he had the most trouble remembering. Oh, jeez, he really was doing this, wasn’t he? This was so weird… But whatever paid his bills and his studies, he guessed. And so… He got to work. It was a lot easier to practice when there was no one around. No one to judge him, no one to mock him when he fucked up… Yeah, it made it all easier. Sure, he didn’t have any experience in it, but at least he had to admit it was pretty fun. Nonetheless, he still had no idea why the two directors chose him over an experienced actor like MJ… Like, of course he had noticed the latter was a huge asshole, but other than that, his acting skills were obvious. Maybe he was being used to give MJ a lesson…? This seemed like the most probable explanation. After all, MJ’s presence in the casting was supposed to bring attention to the show… And now, one of the most important roles had been given to a nobody instead. It didn’t seem like a good idea, marketing-wise. Law was his specialty, but that didn’t mean he was stupid when it came to other things. Lukas couldn’t believe he had been chosen for his “talents”, because he had none on that field. After a moment, he paused his practice, shutting his eyes and letting out an exaggerated sigh. Shit, this was distracting him. He couldn’t focus

on his lines. His acting skills, if he had any, were affected by it. It was like something was entering his mind from one side only to disappear through another. Memorizing the words was harder than he had thought it would be the day before, and he couldn’t help but grunt in frustration. Fuck, he knew he was able to remember those lines, he had learned much more complex texts before! This script was simple, so the young man put the blame on his short night of sleep. Furthermore, it was hard to memorize something only by starting the day before… He was about to start again when he heard the door opening behind him, cutting him short. The student turned to the direction of the noise, expecting to see Mike’s face and… Well, in a way, he kinda did. Except it wasn’t Mike. It was MJ, the evil twin. “Oh, fuck me,” he thought, paling up. For fuck’s sake, right after Mike told him to avoid his brother! Was it a joke or something?! Before he even got the chance to speak, MJ’s expression changed from a neutral one to one of utter disgust. Yeah, clearly, the other had expected to see his twin, but… Nope, Lukas had been the one in the room. “Lesson learned, never going back in that workshop alone,” the student told himself, though it was way too late to do anything about it. -“Oh. It’s you,” the actor spat, this time not trying to keep his nice mask on like he had been when they had met the day before: “The fuck are you doing here?” The celebrity’s eyes were glaring at him, all while examining him from top to bottom. It was… Very unpleasant, to be stared at this way. And being talked to like that? Yeah, no, Lukas was perhaps a shy person, but he didn’t want to let anyone walk all over him, especially not an asshole like MJ. Usually, he tended to flee conflict, but today was different. He was way too tired to deal with this shit. -“Yes , hello to you too,” he muttered as an answer, quickly putting his attention back to the script: “Your brother’s not here, but he told me I could use the room in the meantime.” Apparently, his tone didn’t please the actor, whose eyes narrowed in response: -“No kidding, I can see my brother’s not here, dumbass,” he shrugged and rolled his eyes: “I’m not blind.” Oooh, the insult didn’t fall on deaf ears, and it really rubbed Lukas the wrong way. He turned to the celebrity again, this time returning the latter’s glare: -“Well, good for you, I guess,” the student spoke louder than his previous mutter. His annoyance was much more visible, though he still remained polite: “If you’re looking for Mike, he’s with the stagehands.” -“Didn’t ask,” the actor retorted harshly. The other’s eyes then fell on the script, and his expression darkened. Well, shit, this couldn’t be good- and, just like Lukas had predicted, it wasn’t. MJ’s look of hatred was soon replaced by a mocking yet salty expression, one that the student really didn’t like. -“Aw, am I interrupting something?” the celebrity taunted him, leaning against the door frame as a smirk took place on his lips. -“Actually, yes. You are,” Lukas’ patience was running out. God, he wanted to punch that guy so bad… Well, not like he would ever do that, he wasn’t that kind of person. Still, the urge was there. In response to his honest words, the actor scoffed loudly, rolling his eyes again. God, that fucking asshole… -“What, don’t tell me you honestly think you have what it takes!” MJ’s tone had changed from a mocking one to a harsher, meaner one: “You have no idea how to play a role- lemme guess, you never had any theater courses before, hm?” At Lukas’ silence, the celebrity snickered bitterly: -“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’re just a nobody, a guy who happened to be there at the right time. But you, an actor? Don’t make me laugh. You don’t know shit about acting.” Okay, now that was enough. Politeness was nice and all, but with this guy? No, nu-huh, nope, not happening. In an instant, Lukas’ attempts at remaining civil were thrown away through a window. No one could talk to him like that, and not even his anxiety was

going to silence him. -“Oh, I don’t know shit about acting, that’s right,” he talked back, his tone much more aggressive: “But at least I know how to be a decent person.” -“Excuse me?” MJ’s face showed a mix of bewilderment and fury, probably because no one ever confronted him like this in the past: “I didn’t steal someone else’s job!” -“Hah, that’s rich!” the student scoffed, raising his arms with a scandalized expression: “You lost your job! I didn’t do anything!” his voice echoed in the room as his anger intensified: “If you weren’t such an asshole, maybe you’d have kept your place in the-” However, the student didn’t even get the time to finish his sentence. The celebrity had dashed towards him, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, bringing their face close as an intimidating gesture: -“Watch your fucking mouth,” was the warning he got from the other, whose eyes were fixed on his: “There are so many things I could do to make your life a living Hell. I have a lot of strings I can pull, and if I were you, I wouldn’t risk that,” the actor’s voice had got lower, like a murmur, a clear threat directed to him. But Lukas was just getting so fucking tired of it. Enough was enough. He grabbed the celebrity’s hand and pulled it away, forcing the latter to let go of him. -“So, let me get this straight: you want to destroy me because I pointed out how much of a jerk you were to everyone? And you still think you’re the decent person out of us two? You might want to rethink that, buddy.” The response he got was yet another glare, though this time there was no spiky answer. “Of course I’m right, asshole, can’t say anything back, now, can you?” he thought to himself, pride swelling inside him. Man, this was perhaps the first argument he ever won… Holy shit, yeah, it was- and he didn’t even stutter! Maybe he needed to be tired more often- yeah, no, that wasn’t a good idea. Air was forced out of his lungs as he was pushed away, though despite the fear of being punched, it never came. The look of pure hatred he was getting from MJ was almost burning him and, for a moment, he really thought he would get attacked- being someone who had never fought anyone, he wasn’t really confident about his abilities to fight back. But all MJ did was to step back to the door, a furious expression written all over his face: -“You wanna play that game with me?” he spat: “Fine. But mark my words, stagehand, I will win.” And not even giving Lukas the time to retort anything, the actor stormed off the room and slammed the door behind him. It screamed “ I am mad, and I want everyone to know that”. Lukas, however, did not give a single fuck about it. Perhaps it was the tiredness speaking (and it was), but if the other wanted to fight, then Lukas would be ready. Well, he probably wouldn’t in hindsight, once his mind cleared up… But at the moment, the young man’s anger was making him blind to many aspects. One of them being that MJ was a famous person who was indeed capable of destroying him, and making him fail his studies with just the right calls. But this wasn’t something Lukas would realize before calming down. And only then, he would ask himself “why the hell couldn’t I keep my mouth shut like usual?!” Until that moment… The student kept rehearsing, though his anger prevented him from actually anything. Today was going to be a long day…

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Hopefully Lukas won't have too much trouble with this jerk of an actor :)c (who I love with all my heart)

=> Chapter 7

[flutteringdreams-matw]

Out of Time (9)

First/Last

Read on AO3

Word Count: 4248

Previously: After realizing there's three possible outcomes of a looming battle with Dan, Danny asks Valerie, Dani and Vlad for their help.

Now: The calm before the storm. Aka things are about to hit the fan.

Link to the next chapter will be in the replies once posted. As always - please let me know what you think!

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"Danny- you in here?" Jazz asked, opening her brother's door tentatively. To her surprise, she saw both Danny and Phantom in the room, both looking sombre and upset. She frowned slightly, looking between the two like a hawk. "Are you okay?"

Danny's eyes briefly flashed green as Phantom disappeared, smiling at his sister. "Yeah," he replied softly. His blue eyes watched her as she crossed her arms determinedly.

"Good, cause we're ready for you." Jazz observed Danny closely as he stood up straighter, a quiet reservation embodying him. She frowned as she examined him again. "You sure you're okay? We can postpone-"

"No," Danny said tiredly. "We really can't." He walked over to his sister, ignoring her suspecting gaze as he gave her a hug. Jazz bristled in surprise, but quickly returned it. "Love you," he murmured into her shoulder.

"I love you too," she replied, pulling away from the hug. She poked his nose affectionately, making the younger teen scramble away with a scowl. "Now come on, you're needed Ghost Boy."

With a devious smirk, Danny transformed and grabbed his sister by her arms. He turned them both intangible and flew up to the Ops Center. He dropped Jazz unceremoniously to the ground as he turned tangible again.

"Ugh! Danny!" Jazz protested, shivering slightly. "Give me warning next time!"

Danny chuckled, floating in the air as he watched Jazz try and recover. "You're the one who said they were ready. Where's that Ghost Getter attitude?" he teased.

Jazz glared half-heartedly at her brother before sighing. "C'mon," she said, gesturing to the crowded Ops Center.

Both Fenton children made their way into the room, weaving through many of Frostbite's subjects as they attempted to reach their parents. Maddie, Jack, Sam and Tucker were crowded around one of the screens. Jack saw them first.

"Kids! There you are!" he boomed, causing Sam and Tucker to jump in surprise. "Vladdy's on the T.V."

Danny exchanged frowns with his sister as they moved the screen. Vlad was sitting at his desk in the Mayor's office, looking stoic and political as the T.V. station ran a banner underneath him labelling it as a mayoral address.

"Citizens of Amity Park," Vlad began. Danny rolled his eyes at the condescending tone his arch-enemy used. "As you've been aware, local hero Danny Phantom has held a large dome of energy around our beloved town for the past four days. After a brief meeting with Phantom this afternoon, we now have true confirmation of what is afoot."

Maddie turned to her son, frowning in disapproval. "You went to Vlad?"

Danny shrugged. "He needed to know what was going on. The last thing we want is him making a story up and it causes people to get hurt." He turned back to the press conference.

"There is a dangerous ghost making its way through the Ghost Zone," Vlad continued. "Dangerous enough to cause many ghosts to take refuge here in our world. Phantom has put up this shield in order to protect our town from harm." Vlad folded his hands together, looking very grim. "However, this ghost has challenged our resident ghost and has thus threatened the safety of this town. Tomorrow, these two will clash somewhere in our world, with Phantom unsure of how much protection he can give us.

"The Fentons and I have created a contingency plan in case Phantom's shield is compromised, however it is very likely that this will rival our run in with the Ghost King last year. Unfortunately, it is too late to evacuate the town. Rest assured that your safety is our number one priority. We are asking you to stay indoors until we determine that it is safe to return to our normal lives. I must implore you all to be careful – the only warning we'll have is if this shield goes down.

"As for Danny Phantom – if you're watching this: Good Luck."

Vlad faded from the screen as Lance Thunder started his analysis on what he just heard. Danny let out a breath as he turned to his parents. "We ready to figure out a plan?"

Jack gave his son a reassuring smile. "You bet kiddo," he told him, leading the way to a large round table. Ethelwulf, Frostbite and Clockwork all sat waiting for them, with many more white yeti ghosts standing behind them. Frostbite grinned readily as he saw Danny approach, while Ethelwulf looked him over searchingly.

Danny ignored them, instead floated above the table and waited for his friends and family to take a seat. Green eyes found the large fold out map of Amity Park with various pieces placed strategically across it. A small frown appeared across his face as he saw the large amount of pieces outside of the shield.

"We still have about 10 hours before Dan attacks," Maddie said, snapping Danny out of his musings. He floated back, giving her his full attention. Maddie pointed to the large group that was furthest away. "Our intel shows that Dan is East of the town gathering his army." She gestured to the rest of the town. "Danny's shield will hold for a bit, but our main priority should be getting the Fenton shield up and running. Once that's up, it should cover the entire town – the only problem is we still can't isolate Dan's ecto-signature from Danny's."

"The good news is between Frostbite and his people, we're able to scan all the ghosts hiding in Amity Park," Jack told the crowd. "This way, the shield will still be able to protect the ghosts and the town from Dan's wrath."

Danny nodded, agreeing with the line of thought so far. "And you'll keep working on the shield?" His parents nodded. His frown deepened as he surveyed the plans now on the table. "We need to keep him out of the city at all costs." Danny moved closer to the table, pointing to a large structure on the map. "Until we get the Fenton shield up, we'll have to be divided." Maddie glanced at her son nervously, but stepped back as he started to take more command at the table. "We'll split up in two teams. Ethelwulf, Frostbite; you both stay here. With Ethelwulf's shield around the Fenton Portal, it's the safest point in all this. If anything goes down, you're the best people to defend it." He traced the outer layer of the map with index finger. "The Red Hunter, Danielle and Plasmius will be at the shield holding back the shadow army. If these things are anything like Vlad's copies, then there's going to be a lot of them."

Maddie and Jack exchanged surprised looks before addressing their son. "Are you sure you can trust Plasmius?" Jack asked him. "Or the Red Hunter for that matter? She did trap you and Danielle a few weeks back."

Danny didn't look up from the map, concentrating hard on his next point when he answered. "We've had truces before," he explained. "It's fine. Besides we'll need all the help we can get."

Frostbite cleared his throat. "My fellow Far Frozen brothers will also protect the town," the yeti ghost told the group in front of them, garnering murmurs of agreement throughout the crowd. "If any of the shadows make it in, we'll be ready Great One."

"Thanks Frostbite," Danny said gratefully, flashing his friend a smile. It quickly disappeared as he continued. "Unfortunately, I think that'll happen sooner rather than later." He turned his gaze to his parents. "No matter what Vlad's said during that press conference, we're going to need people to clear the streets and provide cover if needed."

Maddie stroked her chin in thought. "I think we still have time to reach out to the Ghost Emergency Response team," she said. Seeing the look of confusion on her son's face she elaborated. "We reached out to a few people after the Ghost King attack to help with evacuation efforts in the event we couldn't get to them in time. They'll be able to use some public spaces to get people to safety in a pinch. Plus, this was set up before Vlad was mayor; we don't have to go through him for his approval."

Danny eyed his Mom suspiciously at her tart tone but nodded his consent. "Okay, let's do that," he said. His eyes darted across the map in front of him, before he paused and sighed heavily. "I don't think there's any way I can keep the shield up and fight Dan."

"Especially if you're going to be an idiot and go off alone," Tucker said. Danny scowled at him. "What? We can see your self-sacrificing shtick from a mile away dude."

"Not exactly what I meant," Danny shot back, green eyes running over the map avoiding everyone's gaze. "I'm using my base powers to keep the shield up. If something's attacking it - the best place to keep it up around the town is to be right on it."

"Making you a sitting duck," Ethelwulf finished, yellow eyes scanning the map with quick precision. "Which is what Dan is counting on; he tested your abilities in your last battle. He'll wait until you're distracted before striking."

"Which is where Jazz and I come in," Sam jumped in, moving closer to the table and pointed to various sections of the town. "We can provide cover some extra cover on you from the highest points of the city." She pointed out four large buildings. "If we station ourselves up there, we can hit the ones that close in on Danny's position."

Danny stiffened slightly at the suggestion, eying the pieces outside of the shield again and the other two buildings that Sam had suggested. He let out a breath before looking up at his family and friends. "We'll need more than just you two. Mom, Dad, Jazz and Sam will be on these four buildings," Danny grabbed four mini pieces that indicated their side of the battle and placed them on the map. "Tucker, you'll be at FentonWorks working on the shield and be our eyes while we're out there. Apart from my parents, you're the only one who can work on those calculations." He moved another piece. "I'll be at the top of the shield, keeping it up until the Fenton shield is ready. Then we can regroup here and think about our next phase of attack."

"And if your shield goes down before the Fenton one is ready?" Sam asked sceptically.

Danny floated above the table, looking grim. "Then we fight," he said simply. He floated above the crowd, his face reserved as he surveyed the crowded ops center. "This won't be easy," he told the crowd. "In a different time, he destroyed the entire world. I want to say we'll make it… but there's no guarantee that we'd be back. If we fail – our worlds as we know them are doomed." The half-ghost crossed his arms. "Dan isn't invincible. If we work together, we can bring him down. Who's with me?"

A loud roar of approval echoed through the ops center from the members of the Far Frozen. Danny scanned the crowd and found Clockwork, regarding him curiously with his red eyes. Time seemed to slow as their eyes met, Clockwork searching for an answer from the young ghost. Clockwork gave Danny a brief nod of approval before Danny floated back to the ground toward his friends and family.

Danny waited until the ghosts left the Ops Center before taking a vacant seat and transforming back into Danny Fenton. Tired eyes scanned the table again, looking at the small pieces and the map with reservation. "If this doesn't work…"

"It will," Maddie told him sternly, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It'll be fine." Danny couldn't tell if she was trying to reassure herself as well.

"If there's anything this year has shown us, it's how to kick ghost butt as a family," Jack added confidently.

"Dad's right," Jazz told him, coming around Danny's other side, giving him a big hug. "Dan may have the power, but we have the numbers and heart. Remember that, okay?" Both Fenton parents joined the hug at their daughter's words.

Danny smiled softly. "I'll remember," he said. His family released the boy from the hug, smiling. He took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. "This will work."

Maddie kissed the top of his head affectionately. "Get some rest sweetheart. We'll see you off in the morning." With that, the three Fentons exited the Ops Center, leaving Danny, Sam and Tucker alone.

Tucker walked over to the table, nudging Sam along the way and sat next to his best friend. "That was kinda weird…right? I mean… in a good way?"

Danny chuckled. "A bit, yeah." Sam finally moved to Danny's other side at the table, watching him intently. "This is the first time my parents are involved in such a big ghost attack and know all the stakes going in. It's made it easier….. but also so much harder."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

Danny shook his head, smiling softly. "It doesn't matter. I'm just glad we're on the same side for once." He pulled out a small pouch from his pocket, putting it onto the table. His logo reflected the light from the Ops Center above him. "Can one of you ask Ethelwulf about these? Vlad gave them to me."

"I'm pretty sure that's a red flag and should be thrown out," Sam said, narrowing her eyes at the pouch.

Danny shrugged. "He said they're Ecto-Enhancers – something to help give my powers an energy boost. While I don't trust Vlad with a ten foot pole, I think he's actually trying to help. I'd ask my parents, but Mom's been acting strange about me interacting with Vlad. I don't think she knows anything, but she definitely suspects."

"Hence Ethelwulf," Tucker finished, watching Danny confirm with a nod. Tucker stared at the pouch as a few ideas raced across his brain. "Apart from Ethelwulf, Plasmius is the only other person who knows about half-ghosts on a molecular level. Maybe these will help us separate the two of you."

"If there's one time for his creepy clone experiments to come in handy, it's now" Danny replied with a grimace.

"Gross," Tucker said. He reached over, grabbing the pouch of Ecto-Enhancers and waved them in the air. "I'll get started on this – hopefully we can get that shield up before morning." Tucker stood, giving Sam an exaggerated look before moving quickly to the stairs. "Sam, make sure this one doesn't do something stupid without me. I am the brains of this operation"

Danny chuckled at the joke. "Don't let it get to your head, techie."

Sam shook her head at their antics. "No promises," she said slyly as Danny made a noise in protest. Sam caught Tucker's equally sly smile as he made his way downstairs, realizing suddenly that he left her alone with Danny on purpose; she nearly groaned in annoyance.

"Jerk," Danny muttered in amusement. He rose slowly, gripping the table to hold himself up. His arms shook as he looked over the plans again, blue eyes darting back to the large amount of pieces on the ground.

Sam frowned worriedly. "You're exhausted," she stated.

Danny nodded. "We really need that shield," he told her wearily. "If these numbers are right then I'm going to be putting all my energy into defending the town."

"What you really need is sleep." Sam replied sharply. Danny ignored her and continued to glance at the figures on the table. "When was the last time you actually rested without those time visions?"

Danny shrugged, turning his face away. "Few days maybe," he replied. He traced the outer layer of the map toward the top of the shield, frowning in thought.

Sam sighed, standing up and put her hand on his shoulder. Danny's body relaxed slightly at her touch but remained focus on the map in front of him. "You need to rest," she said softly. "You've been heading straight for Dan ever since he escaped. Not to mention, you've been flying around and using your powers quite a bit today. Isn't it time to take it easy?" Danny only hummed at the suggestion. Sam sighed again, bracing herself against the table as she looked out in the other direction. A few moments passed, neither one speaking as they stood in the Ops Center. Finally, Sam let out a long breath, steeling her resolve. "About earlier…"

"You were right," Danny told her, cutting Sam off before she had a chance to continue. He glanced at her quickly before his eyes returned to the map. "Before. This isn't just some ghost fight."

Sam frowned, confused at his reserved demeanour. "You told me you weren't afraid anymore," she accused softly.

"I'm not."

Sam turned to him abruptly, violet eyes flashing dangerously. "So why are you holding back now? What changed in a few hours?"

Danny sighed tiredly, his black hair covering his face from her view. When he finally spoke, it was so quiet it made the hairs on the back of Sam's neck stand up. "If we make it through this, then we'll talk."

Sam blinked before nudging him hard with her shoulder. "When we make it through this, I'll be waiting. You hear me? When." They stood quietly, Sam's last remark hanging in the air as Danny made no attempt to answer. She nudged him again. "Danny, when you make it back. Not if."

Danny raised his head slowly, smiling as he looked at her. Sam's eyes widened slightly at the changing emotions across his face. "Yeah," he agreed softly. "You're right." He turned away as Sam looked at him, concerned. "I think I'm gonna head downstairs."

Sam frowned; something didn't feel right. "You're not going to sneak off on our own are you?" she asked searchingly.

Danny shook his head and brushed her off. "Nah – you'll miss me too much," he replied lightly. She wasn't convinced.

With a small wave, he took off down the stairs. Sam watched him go, still frowning as she tried to figure out his sudden change of mood.

:-=-:

"A little early for an adventure, isn't it Halfling?"

Danny didn't turn from his position on the Ops Center, opting to look at the stars through the green shield around the town with a small smile. There were still a few hours before dawn and apart from the ghosts throughout the house, everyone was asleep. "Not an adventure if I'm still here."

Ethelwulf chuckled as he walked up beside the seated young ghost. "True, but you are your ghost self on a rooftop, alone, right before we do battle with that monster. Forgive me for thinking you were sneaking off without telling us."

Danny shook his head. "I couldn't sleep," he admitted. "Stargazing helps me clear my head." They looked at the stars in silence, Ethelwulf waiting for Danny to continue. Eventually, Danny sighed, standing up to face the black wolf ghost beside him. "I keep seeing various parts of how today will play out," he said dismally. "Regardless of how much planning we do, it doesn't seem like we're going to win."

Ethelwulf opened his mouth, but a voice beat him to it.

"What have I told you before, Great One?" Frostbite floated toward them, an eyebrow raised questionably at the younger. "About fears and battles?"

"I'm not afraid of Dan," Danny told them confidently. "I'm not facing him on my own so we have more of a chance than I would normally. But…" Danny looked up at the stars again, frowning. "In order to win, we need to know his plan. With these time visions, I think I have some idea of… how he thinks."

Frostbite and Ethelwulf exchanged confused looks. "Isn't that a good thing?" Ethelwulf asked him.

"If I'm right… then it's not a good thing," Danny replied seriously. He rubbed the back of his head. "It means that our plan doesn't account for him exploiting our weaknesses – which he'll definitely do. Dan has nothing to lose, meaning he's more dangerous than ever. He doesn't care."

Ethelwulf let out a soft "Oh," as he realized what the boy was trying to say. He lowered his head close to Danny's face, big yellow eyes looking into worried green. "Danny," he said gently. "Going into battle thinking you'll lose means you've already lost. The things that you need to fight for? That makes you more dangerous too."

Danny smiled sadly. "I want to believe that. More than anything."

Ethelwulf nodded. "Then do." Ethelwulf looked him over, frowning. "Though you're not completely healed from yesterday; are you sure you'll be alright on top of that shield?"

Danny nodded. "I'm good. The faster we get that shield up, the faster I can recover and kick his sorry butt out of existence. How's that going anyway?"

Ethelwulf sighed. "Tucker gave me the Ecto-Enhancers; Plasmius seems to know quite a bit about your ecto-signature Halfling. We were able to identify more of a distinction between the ecto-signature we have of you and his. It seems like the key here is your mid-morph sample – but until you're able to recover, I believe it's unwise for us to take that sample. Though, now that we know what we're looking for, we might be able to manipulate the shield enough for us to put it up. These Ecto-Enhancers should be safe if you wish to use them."

Danny nodded in confirmation. "Good to know – probably best to leave them here for now. Last thing I want is for Dan to get a hold of them." Danny looked away, making Frostbite and Ethelwulf tense slightly. "If anyone can figure out that mid-morph sample, it'll be Tucker. He's been working with my parents for so long and knows my powers pretty well. Will you-"

"Don't worry," Frostbite assured. "We'll make sure your family is safe. No one will get through."

Danny smiled gratefully, looking up at the stars again. "Thank you," he said simply. They were quiet for a few minutes, before Danny closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "Clockwork," he called as he opened his eyes and faced his two friends.

Clockwork's spinning clock appeared promptly behind Frostbite, the latter shuffling aside for the Time Master to materialize. Once appeared, Clockwork brought his staff toward the ground, a grim smile directed at Danny.

"I think I finally understand," Danny said quietly. "When you told me that acting on the knowledge of time was a burden."

Clockwork inclined his head in acknowledgement. "I believe so," he said simply. "I'd ask you what now, but judging from that response, I can only guess."

Danny sighed again. "I need you all to promise me something," the half-ghost started, getting the attention of all three spectres on the roof. "If I….. If I stop responding on coms…..or if I go down…please don't come looking for me until my shield falls. Keep my family and friends away from it too."

The boy's request hung in the silence that followed.

"I've seen some….. things," Danny continued, green eyes pleading for them to agree. "I don't know if they're true – but I might have to make decisions out there that go against the plan to protect Amity- To protect my friends and family. I need to know that they're safe behind this shield. It's the only way I'll….Please – keep them from coming after me."

Clockwork looked at Ethelwulf and Frostbite's shocked faces as he floated past them, red eyes glued to the determined, pleading face of a fifteen year old half-ghost that started this. "I said once," Clockwork started, "That I'm inclined to trust your judgement. Through all those twists and turns of time, my view on that has never wavered Danny Phantom." Clockwork put a hand on Danny's shoulder. "Time has asked so much of someone so young – this is the least I can do."

"Are you sure this is wise, Time Master?" Frostbite asked worriedly. "The Great One is still not healed. If he goes in alone –"

"Frostbite is right," Ethelwulf said, cutting the Far Frozen leader off. "Danny, this is ill-advised. You just said you're not fighting him alone – why do you want to prevent us from helping you in your time of need?"

"We have a plan right?" Danny asked, an eyebrow raised. "No matter what happens to me, we need to make sure it gets followed. We're more likely to succeed that way. If my shield is still up, I'm okay - I'm still alive. The last thing I want is for Dan to use anyone I love as bait."

The two wolf-like ghosts looked at each other and sighed, defeated.

"I will protect them with my life Great One," Frostbite told him earnestly.

Danny turned to Ethelwulf, who sighed deeply. Yellow eyes met green once more. "You are truly remarkable, Halfling," he said proudly. Danny's eyes widened in surprise. "I will honour your wishes – however if your shield falls, I will come after you myself. I will not let you die."

Danny smiled, looking at each of the ghosts directly before nodding. "Alright, then let's-" Danny's knees buckled slightly, cutting his train of thought off as he grimaced in pain. Frostbite and Clockwork moved toward the boy. Ethelwulf winced, swearing under his breath.

"Something attacked my shield," Ethelwulf said.

"Mine too," Danny ground out as he recovered. He looked up in thought, frowning as his eyes scanned the shield. He closed his eyes, trying to find where the attack on the shield came from before sighing. He turned to Frostbite and Ethelwulf. "If I'm not back in half an hour, wake everyone else up."

"This has to be a trap," Ethelwulf said. "Danny, you shouldn't go up there alone."

"He did say he wanted to divide my attention," Danny replied bitterly. "Probably, but I don't want to chance the shield. Ethelwulf, check on the one around the portal. I'll have my Fenton Phone with me – Frostbite, head to the control station and we'll stay in contact. I'll be gone thirty minutes tops. If I'm not back, tell my family…" he paused, looking conflicted for the first time on the rooftop. "Tell them… to defend Amity. To get the Fenton Shield up and running. To…to be careful. I'll be back as soon as I can." Without warning, Danny leapt into the air and teleported somewhere outside of the shield.

Clockwork sighed, breaking Frostbite and Ethelwulf out of their surprised stupors. "Frostbite," he called. "You heard him, get to the control panel. Ethelwulf, check on that shield. The faster we do that, the faster one of you can go after him."

Frostbite and Ethelwulf exchanged confused glances. "I thought you said you trusted his judgement?" Ethelwulf asked suspiciously.

Clockwork looked at the shield above. "I do," he replied simply, a small frown on his face. "That does not mean I have to like it."

:-=-:

Danny held his hand to the shield, concentrating on finding the point that was attacked earlier. It's too quiet Danny thought, eyes darting from side to side looking for a threat. "Frostbite?"

"I'm here, Great One," Frostbite's voice came through the Fenton Phone urgently.

"Anything?"

"No. All clear on the radars."

Danny frowned, more unease rising from within him. "Yeah, here too," he said, standing, on top of the shield. It was holding strong; if anything attacked while he was up here, it would hold. He looked down and saw the mass of black surrounding the town, faint dim auras outlining each of the shadows that Dan created. Danny swallowed nervously as he lost count. "I'm headed back now," he said evenly, attempting to mask his concern.

"I'll await your arrival."

As the line went dead, Danny gasped as his ghost sense came alive, the icy cold sending a small shiver down his spine. He tensed, left hand alighting in green as he readied for an attack, the right going back toward his Fenton Phone. He barely had time to react as a large amount of ecto-energy surrounded his senses. He cried out in pain as it subsided, falling onto the shield in a heap. He barely managed to see a pair of white boots before the world faded to black.

:-=-:

"Sam, wake up," Jazz said urgently, shaking the girl awake. Sam rolled over, squinting slightly at the person who dared disturbed her slumber. "Sam, come on." Jazz shook her again.

Sam blinked before she recognized the urgency in her voice. "Is it time?" she asked, sitting up quickly and rubbed her eyes.

"Sam, Danny's missing."

Whatever tiredness she was felt left Sam instantly. "What?!"

Jazz sat back with a worried frown on the bed, her red hair glowing slightly from the light in the hallway. "Frostbite said he went to check the shield and was supposed to be back an hour ago." Her teal eyes met Sam's violet ones. "Danny told them he was coming back – then the line went dead. Ethelwulf went looking for him, but they couldn't find him."

"Was there anything on the radar?" Sam asked, grabbing both her time medallion and the violet jumpsuit as she hastily put them on.

Jazz shook her head. "No – but Frostbite said Danny just disappeared. No teleportation or anything, just… gone. Like he was never up there; we're meeting downstairs to create a game plan."

Sam nodded, putting on her last glove. "Okay, I'll meet you down in a few minutes."

Jazz gave her a nod in confirmation. "Good, I'll go check on Dad then. He probably got an hour or so of sleep before Frostbite woke Mom." Jazz headed out of her room, a worried frown still across her face as she raced down the hall.

Sam let out a shaky breath as Jazz left. Her eyes drifted to the small clock on the bedside table - 4 am. Two hours before dawn. Two hours before the fight of their lives. Two hours to find Danny.

[astrolovecosmos]

Uranus in the Houses: Individualism

Uranus in the 1st: I’m sure you’d imagine quite the quirky and interesting person with this placement. While this certainly can be true, there is something about questioning identity. Uranus indicates a “higher mind”, innovation, moments of discovery. Identity is not fluid, not easily lost, and not obscure BUT they may fall into re-discovering themselves over and over again. Individuality is tightly connected to expression and intellect somehow. Seeking change in how they represent themselves may be something they crave or do naturally. There is something special about exploring all facets of the self. 

Uranus in the 2nd: Individuality in how they view self-worth or approach security may manifest. Being inventive and original in practical, sensual, physical ways is another way to look at this placement. “Unique ways to make money” is the trademark of this position but there is much more to this house than money and possessions. Uranus in this House may show their uniqueness in how they spend money or what they buy but they also show their individuality through the physical realm and this can mean many things. This is one to own a “conversation starter” whether it is in their fashion choices or home decor. Having an unconventional approach to what a society deems as “practical” may happen. There is something special about physically living, valuing, and really existing on a different level. 

Uranus in the 3rd: “Eccentric communicator” is the label many put on this placement. So yes, individuality is certainly seen in how they crack jokes, spur up debates, and bring up odd, political, or even taboo subjects. Here we see that “higher mind” showing social intuition and observation. They approach the realm of socialization, learning, and expressing differently. They are very eager to learn about others and about the world around them. The way they learn could show individuality and uniqueness. In their earlier years they may have stood out a lot among peers, especially in a classroom setting. There is something special about living in the realm of ideas and sharing for them. 

Uranus in the 4th: Unconventional family life or domestic life can pop up with this placement. In terms of individuality this comes from freedom to be themselves apart from a family or tight community. Deep-seeded Influence upon them, comfort, attachments, and roots - these things shape them into a sculpture different than others with their same upbringing. This doesn’t just mean the black sheep in the family, this can mean the odd one out in a school, church, or organization. Being “different” doesn’t always mean being an outcast or something negative. With the 4th being a house about safety and comfort, they may find their individuality or express it best when being disruptive towards that comfort/security. There is something special about constantly stepping out of their comfort zone. 

Uranus in the 5th: That individuality shines through the bright 5th House in expression and creativity. Unique fashion sense ✓, has combined quirkiness with flair ✓, unforgettable party goer ✓, original artist  ✓. Don’t forget being an “individualist” when it comes to romance. Uranus at times can make someone with this position highly independent and doesn’t want to be in any relationship that threatens their individuality or freedom. Uranus isn’t necessarily known for self-focus but it can be known for separation and a focus on what makes you, you. With that focus comes a theme of rushing into relationships with like-minded people but then still trying hard to protect their differences and freedom to express. There can be a tug-of-war in love. Really individuality sometimes shows the most or is solidified through how they are different from their lovers yet still find common ground. It shows through their art. It shows through their speeches. It shows through their big ideas. It shows through their celebrations. There is something special about never losing yourself while still connecting with another. 

Uranus in the 6th: Don’t sleep on this placement! Sure we could talk about unconventional healing and maybe being a healer is one way they stand out. Uncommon illnesses and accidents are tied to this but let’s talk about other areas of the 6th. Other environments that their uniqueness can show and breathe in. Here is someone who stands out in their everyday routine, in their work space, and in their habits. They can be innovative and original, breaking away from the normal humdrum of everyday life. Uranus in the 6th can be a strength for teamwork and altruism. They know how to change a negative or toxic environment or routine into something liberating. They may serve others by helping them break free, start anew, or giving them the knowledge they need to better their situation. Despite Uranus sometimes being looked at as a planet about disruption, chaos, “being apart” - in this house Uranus intelligently approaches inefficiency, which many times could be due to a lack of cooperation or understanding. There’s something special about how they can bring people together but also push them apart, whichever equals an improvement. 

Uranus in the 7th: Independence can be both a gift and a struggle in love for this individual. Sacrificing freedom and individuality will never, ever happen. On the surface many have pinned this placement as one showing commitment issues. But let’s look at this as individuality in how we connect with others on a whole. Throw out gender roles, societal expectations for marriage or even friendship, rework master and apprentice. Individuality comes in how they treat others. Their expectations and “roles” in their relationships. An enemy? A rival? They likely don’t think of them how you may typically think of an “enemy”. Respect, equality, and give and take are all approached in a way that allows them to not be bound by how you perceive them and even how you care for them. There is something special about their harmony, their connections, their vibrations with others. 

Uranus in the 8th: Individuality is a precious thing shared with others. There is a desire for absolute acceptance and understanding in their closest relationships or within intimacy. Sharing the mind may make them feel more vulnerable than sharing anything else. A great desire to understand the taboo, the occult, the mysterious, metaphysics, life and death exist here. Their individuality can be kept in a darker place only to be shared with a few. On some level this could make someone seem a conformist, basic, etc. But don’t confuse this with the secrets and hidden attributes of the 12th House. Sometimes this can be more literal in that what makes them special is a darkness in their past. How they deal with pain or negativity can stand out. Also the taboo or occult may be an area they feel most comfortable in expressing their true self. Sometimes  throw out the average cabbage picture - this may also be the occultist in your community, not afraid to show their spell books or rave about their love for true crime documentaries and podcasts (which honestly isn’t that unusual but I’m trying to give you a visual the best I can). The 8th House with its dark and heavy reputation, I don’t want anyone thinking the darkness in their life is the only thing that makes them “special”. Rather that trauma could have been uncommon. The way they understand the darkness and unpredictability of the world is more of the emphasis I want to make. 

Uranus in the 9th: They stand out in their beliefs, morals, or possibly education. Truth and lies play a role in what makes them “unique”. There could be a tendency of bolstering up their individuality, possibly at a young age or when feeling insecure. When secure, when fulfilled, when they have an open mind and are actively learning they show their uniqueness, especially the uniqueness in what they believe in truthfully, openly, proudly. Uranus drives this individual to make a statement in their beliefs or non-beliefs even. This can be presented in so many positive or negative ways. Finding meaning in one’s life is also part of this house. They may stand out the most in the lengths they go to find meaning. From the tamer backpacking across Europe to find themselves, to exploring different religions, to more erratic actions and choices of completely abandoning a long-standing career for something very different or even giving up everything they own to help others may happen. There is something special in how they see a different way to think, believe, and in a way be. 

Uranus in the 10th: We can’t ignore that they are going to seem “different” or “special” somehow in the public sphere. Before we talk about fame, know there is a lot about connecting with and belonging to society with this placement. The way they think about or approach society could be unique. The way they fit into society can be unconventional as well. They pay attention to the collective, can tap into it. That intellectual side of the planet can drive them to analyze and understand the collective, law, society, social issues. I would say that standing out in your career or having your individualism show here is a prominent manifestation, especially in parts of the world where career are everything to a society. There’s something special about standing out in the crowd, in the boardroom, in the industry.

Uranus in the 11th: This placement is known to hang around rebels and outliers. This is part of their individuality, befriending those on the fringe of society or the norm. The way they fit into groups and organizations is unique. They may stand out as a leader in a club or friend group. They may be the glue among friends too. The way they view fellowship and approach it is likely unconventional. When it comes to the collective, much like the 10th house position they too can tap into it. The 10th sees trends in what society values and within laws and reputation while the 11th taps into social trends, new ideas, sees where society is headed on a larger scale or with the big picture. They can have goals that are on a different wavelength than most. They dream big and originally. This house can be about extending the self to others. With Uranus we can see someone who does this in an humanitarian way, highly social way, or maybe  intellectually focused way. There is something special about giving and taking from the group. 

Uranus in the 12th: Known for hidden individuality that wants to bubble to the surface. “Associated with past revolution and upheaval” according to Judy Hall. Individuality is shown best when they have confidence and pride in their uniqueness. It is also shown best when they rebel against the norm. Here can be a powerful position for the “rebel”, “anarchist”, or “innovator”. Their individuality can also shine through by helping others in a large way, through humanitarian deeds. Eccentricities will be both their weakness and strength. At times the emotional heaviness of the house can make them feel unstable and insecure about their differences, other times they can tap into their inner genius, trendsetter, and visionary. There is something special about just being different. 

[lokiondisneyplus]

Over five popular seasons, the story lines of “Better Call Saul” have unfolded across nail salons, fried-chicken joints and other strip-mall staples of American life.

When new episodes begin premiering next year, though, the locations that give the “Breaking Bad” spinoff its texture could be reined in or done away with altogether. The culprit? The novel coronavirus, which is limiting where the New Mexico-set AMC show can film, potentially altering both its style and substance.

“Like a lot of other people, we’re going to have to be very creative in where and how we shoot,” said Mark Johnson, the veteran producer who oversees the Vince Gilligan hit, whose writers just began collaborating on the series’s sixth season. “A lot of places just won’t let you in.”

Across the entertainment industry, casts and crew are beginning to return to work after a five-month hiatus. In states with loosened restrictions, such as Georgia and New York, production is starting to crank up under tight controls that alter how sets operate. Instead of crew members freely mingling, they’re being divided into “pods" that limit how production departments such as wardrobe or lighting can associate. Covid-19 officers monitor the health of the cast and crew to determine who is allowed on set. “Zones” dictate where those cast and crew can go.

These changes might seem technical, but they hint at the far-reaching effects the virus will have on final screen products. Interviews with 12 executives, writers, agents and producers across the Hollywood spectrum suggest a dramatically transformed world of entertainment. Until a vaccine comes along, they say, covid-19 will change what Americans watch as dramatically as it has where they work, shop and learn. Forget the new normal — movies and TV are about to encounter the new austerity.

Crowd scenes are a no-go. Real-world locations will be limited. On-screen romance will be less common, sometimes restricted to actors who have off-screen relationships. And independent films — that tantalizing side dish in the U.S. entertainment meal — could be heavily scaled back.

“A lot of people believe this is just about getting back to work,” said Mark Gill, a producer and former head of Warner Independent Pictures, the studio unit responsible for independent hits such as “Slumdog Millionaire” and “Good Night, and Good Luck.” “They don’t realize the massive cultural impact we’re about to face.”

For most of its history, Hollywood created entertainment based on a simple premise: Shuttle in large numbers of people and move them around at will. That’s certainly true of crews. But it especially applies to extras, the low-paid day laborers who pack sets and off-camera holding areas in order to create dense crowd scenes — and, in turn, lend the work real-world atmosphere.

Such scenes have of course been part of some of the most memorable moments in Hollywood history. From “Ben-Hur” to “Braveheart,” on-screen entertainment has become indelible thanks to hundreds of people you’ve never heard of packing tiny spaces, then moving as one when the cameras roll.

Yet the virus has essentially made these hires impossible. Many don’t want to risk their health for a $100 paycheck and remote shot at background glory, and producers don’t want to take on the liability even if they did. “Braveheart" used about 1,600 extras, many from the Irish Army reserves. Experts say the movie couldn’t come close to being shot today.

“Those of us in the entertainment business are not used to being told ‘no’‚” said Lucas Foster, a longtime Hollywood producer who counts the 2005 romantic-action hit “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” and last year’s Oscar-decorated blockbuster “Ford v Ferrari” among his credits. “And when it comes to things like crowds, there’s going to be a lot of no.”

Foster understands the challenges personally — he’s one of the first producers to have made a movie in the age of covid-19.

In March, the Los Angeles resident was in Australia, several weeks into preproduction on a new version of “Children of the Corn” when the pandemic began to spread. Millions of dollars had already been committed to the movie, adapted from the same Stephen King story that yielded the 1984 cult hit. So rather than shut down, he decided to proceed — cautiously. Foster created a production bubble, consulted doctors regularly, procured large amounts of tests, and engaged in elaborate workarounds in realms like crowd scenes.

He said it worked, but with major accommodations.

“I had to figure out how to do a crowd with no more than a few people at the same time. And with very specific camera angles. And by taking actors who would normally be close together and making them not close together,” Foster said. “In the end, I’d get the scene I needed but it looked different than it would have before the pandemic.” (Computer-generated crowds, he and other producers say, only work for more distant shots; anything requiring close-ups needs the real thing.)

It helped, he noted, that many of his actors were children, who are believed less susceptible to the effects of the virus, and that much of the movie was shot in cornfields and other vast outdoor spaces, a luxury not all films have.

Producers say the added cost required to implement all the safeguards could also result in a lower-end finished product. Films and TV shows achieve their level of shine through an endless period of refinement, with actors and directors often attempt 10 or more takes of a scene. With everything now going longer — and thus costing more — they may not have the luxury.

One producer of multiple studio hits said he expects the number of takes to drop significantly as the virus balloons budgets. He also expected a diminution in night scenes, which tend to be more involved and expensive than day scenes. He said some productions will be able to make the switch, but not all will be as lucky.

Also unlucky, say Hollywood veterans: movies where characters seek to get lucky. Many insiders say romantic scenes will be a major challenge in movies. Two agents separately reported they had high-profile clients who told them they wouldn’t shoot love scenes during the pandemic.

“I think every agency right now is looking down their client list to see which actors have spouses who are also actors, because then we could try to get them cast, too,” said one of the agents, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized by their company to speak to the news media. “I’m joking. Sort of.”

The added wrinkle is even if the actors trust each other in real life, many of their characters would still have to take precautions on screen.

“How do you send two characters on a first dinner date when people aren’t really going on first dinner dates?” said a creator of romantic comedies who asked not to be identified because they did not want to be seen as criticizing colleagues who are attempting new projects. “You can send them on a socially distant walk, I guess.”

Writers say that leads to a broader dilemma: how much to incorporate the pandemic into their stories. On one hand, they say they don’t want to pretend the virus doesn’t exist. But acknowledging it poses its own challenges.

“Do you really want your stars wearing masks because that’s what characters would do? Do you want to have people engaging with each other in groups no larger than six? Do you want to write stories where everyone is at a safe distance?” said Mark Heyman, the co-writer of “Black Swan” and “The Skeleton Twins” and creator of the CBS All-Access historical drama “Strange Angel.” “Because a lot of those things won’t be very much fun to watch.”

Yet if creators aren’t willing to do that, he said, it could lead to those shows or movies getting shelved out of a fear that audiences will judge them inauthentic.

Heyman was working on a series set in a high school for Netflix when the lockdowns began. That project has now been put on pause. “It’s not easy to make a show about high school,” he said, “when there is no high school.”

To avoid reminding viewers of the pandemic, creators may take an approach that will lead to an unusual trend.

“I think over the next few years you’re going to see a lot more movies set in the past,” Foster said. “Even movies written for the present will be changed. They’ll make it the ’90s because then you don’t have to deal with these questions. And then you can just put in some cool ’90s music, so everybody wins.”

A few creators have gone the other way, leaning in to the pandemic.

Writers on Apple TV Plus’s “The Morning Show,” set at a news program, have torn up existing scripts to make the pandemic a part of the story line, according to a person familiar with the show who was not authorized to speak about it publicly. But with a lag time of months between shooting and airing, experts say that creators also risk looking out of date by the time episodes release to the public.

Sensing an opportunity, horror filmmakers have also tried to embrace current events.

“The horror genre is very suited to the pandemic and lockdowns — we’re always trying to create a feeling of being trapped anyway,” said the horror filmmaker Nathan Crooker.

When quarantines hit this spring, Crooker gathered nine noted horror filmmakers and had them shoot an anthology film — short fictional movies connected by the larger virus theme — and titled it “Isolation.” He required filmmakers to use only the materials and people they were in lockdown with, even prohibiting Zoom and other technologies.

“I think we’re going to get a very cool effect that mirrors what people are going through,” Crooker said of his work. “But I don’t know that every movie that gets made would want to look like that.”

One consequence of the virus could turn out to be the movies that don’t get made at all.

Some of the most beloved films of the past two decades, from “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” to “Whiplash,” “Little Miss Sunshine” to “Fruitvale Station,” were independently financed. But before rolling cameras, independent productions require insurance policies to protect them from workplace lawsuits, along with completion bonds, in which a guarantor assures they will step in with funds to finish the movie if production is halted.

Experts say no company will cover covid-19 with either policy, effectively preventing production.

“Covid is an absolute disaster for the independent-film industry,” said Sky Moore, a partner in the corporate entertainment department of the Los Angeles law firm Greenberg Glusker who has spent several decades putting together film financing deals. “The lifeblood of independent-film financing is loans, and loans need insurance. Now you have this massive hole in the middle of all of it.”

Moore believes the toll will be vast.

“I think 50 percent of the independent industry goes away,” he said.

(Movies financed by large studios do not buy these policies; Netflix or Disney would just absorb a shutdown or lawsuit as the cost of doing business.)

Even if they can work around the insurance issues, many independent films won’t get made because they simply won’t have the money. “It’s already hard to get funding for a lot of these movies,” said Shaun MacGillivray, a producer who makes large-scale independent documentaries. “And now you’re telling investors the budget is going to be 30 percent higher?”

The independent-film world is trying to push ahead, slowly. The Sundance Film Festival, the epicenter of the indie-film business, where companies like Hulu and Netflix sometimes pay more than $10 million for an independently financed movie, will hold a partially physical, partially virtual edition in January, albeit at just about half the length.

“We are reminded daily of the power of what is made newly visible to us, the importance of what we look at,” Tabitha Jackson, the director of the festival, said in a letter to staff this summer explaining why the festival needed to go on. “My hope for this edition of the Sundance Film Festival is that through a multiplicity of perspectives held by artists and audiences in their various communities we will also come to feel the power of where we look from.” Left unspoken: What happens in 2022, when the well runs dry because new movies can’t be insured and produced?

Whatever entertainment can get made, experts say, will have a more hermetic look. Even television shows, once shot heavily on sets, now often rely on the authenticity of locations; a police procedural feels like it does because detectives are popping into pizza places and apartment buildings.

“We don’t want everything to be a chamber piece,” said Johnson, the “Better Call Saul” executive producer. “But if many shows look different, I think that’s okay, because the world looks different.”

Then, considering the challenge further, he added, “And if that doesn’t work, then at least our show has a lot of deserts and open roads.”

[hancfubuki]

character analysis;

SAKURA FUTABA

alright, lads. those who know me or followed me on my previous blog know that i LOVE to do this. i need to clarify that i study psychology, so these analysis is coming from a professional point of view ( which i do mostly to reinforce my essays because like, teachers love to make us analyse movies and characters lol ) and solidify my characters as my passion is giving a feeling to them of ACTUAL human beings. 

now, i have seen many headcanons of futaba being autistic but, yet again, from a psychological perspective i don’t see it, and i’m gonna explain why. ( however if you headcanon her as autistic is completely valid. this is a personal analysis and perspective ).

if you have a character analysis request let me know and i’ll be more than glad to do it!!

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG POST. I’LL TRY TO MAKE IT AS SHORT AS POSSIBLE BUT I KNOW BEFOREHAND IT IS FOR SURE GONNA BE LONG. 

breaking down the character i can see clear signals of depression, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, hikikomori syndrome and selective mutism; this last one is commonly mistaken with the autistic spectrum because the common knowledge is associating the non-verbal behavior with the autistic spectrum or cases of schizophrenia, but in fact, this condition is not only applicable to those disorders. in real life, some people have been diagnosed with autism when in fact they suffer selective mutism, so it’s better to actually understand the root of the disorder before jumping to conclusions and giving an actual diagnosis. 

let’s start with a short definition of each condition:

MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER: this condition affects negatively on the way a patient feels, thinks or acts. it causes severe feelings of sadness and in the majority of the cases loss of interest in activities that were formerly enjoyed. this also has an effect on the patient’s behavior and can also lead to physical problems. 

( SOCIAL ) ANXIETY DISORDER: a pretty common condition ( there are studies that say that nearly 30% of the adult population suffer from this disorder ). this is actually a normal reaction of the brain when it senses excessive fear or stress, it alerts our brain of possible danger and sometimes it can escalate and turn into panic attacks. 

AGORAPHOBIA: derives from the anxiety disorder. it is the fear of open, big spaces that can handle large crowds. usually the patient’s affected with this phobia feel fear mostly because they anticipate situations like using public transportation, standing in line, etc. it causes an immense fear that leads to panic attacks because they feel trapped, helpless or embarrassed. in some cases, this phobia starts because of previous panic attacks, so the patient will try to avoid those places and if something triggers that feeling, the phobia is going to act up.

HIKIKOMORI SYNDROME: this is a japanese culture-bound syndrome. it affects mostly young people in japan. they live isolated from the world, most of them locked down on their parent’s house ( some of the cases might communicate ONLY with their relatives. in the most severe cases they won’t speak to anyone at all ). this lock down can last days, months or years and it is heavily influenced by the internet and technology, as the it is their only escape. 

SELECTIVE MUTISM: also derives from anxiety disorder. the patient is unable to speak in CERTAIN social situations. it usually starts on childhood but it also affects adults. contrary to its name the person does not refuse to speak, they don’t have a choice as they are truly UNABLE to speak. certain people triggers panic on them and this causes the talking to be impossible, as it is an anxiety disorder, the person will anticipate situation as well that cause distress. however, despite of this trigger the people that suffer from this condition is able to speak freely to close family circles and friends as they don’t really trigger a freeze response on them. mostly this fear comes from the expectation the other person might have on them, and this provokes the anxiety causing a great difficulty responding or initiating verbal communication.

moving to her personality and background, from the very first moment we notice the anxiety coming from her, she is only able to communicate behind a screen and with an alias as she does not really completely trusts the phantom thieves. why do i think she has selective mutism instead of being under the autistic spectrum? easy, when you start the game you can notice sojiro constantly getting calls ( and we realize later on they were from futaba ). meaning that she is able to bond properly with him, sojiro even explains later on the game that she didn’t eat nor talk for a long time and little by little he was regaining her trust to let her know that she wasn’t alone. still, you can notice sojiro’s guilt as he is not able to take her out of the house and he is happy that at least she is eating but still you can see the traces of the depression and anxiety on her personality.

futaba explains her desire to die, a common thought that derives from depression as the people that suffer this condition usually see life as meaningless. she doesn’t want to be seen either, so she covers her face and any trace that could easily identify her because yet again, she needs trust to speak normally to another person, besides she has this constant fear of being judged which shows her anxiety. 

also a very important point is that people with this affections ( anxiety and selective mutism ) is that they might come off as RUDE or BLUNT ( something we notice on futaba ), because they are well, socially inept. however, as soon as she starts spending more time with the thieves she starts acting more relaxed and it’s when she starts showing her cheerful, childish side. i truly believe that these conditions started from her childhood, because as it is stated on her story line, she grew up being a lonely child. kids would just ignore her because she was considered a genius, her mother was never home and she started believing that her mother cared more about her research than being with her, this plus the lack of friendships and her mother’s dead only developed a severe anxiety disorder that later on was going to evolve in the conditions i explained previously. 

the thieves indeed help her to slowly start her process of overcoming her fears, and it shows that initially she didn’t really got along well with all of them, especially makoto because makoto has a more mature vibe than the others and this would only intimidate her and made it hard to actually catch her attention because most of the subjects makoto would bring were considered boring for futaba. remember that social anxiety causes that, you are not going to bond with everyone and only trust can lead to a relationship of reciprocate interest. 

overall, we can see how throughout the game she starts doing better. she creates a list with joker that allows her to conquer her own fears and well, after all everything is a process that takes years. she still relies a lot on the internet, but now she has real interaction and friends, but still when joker is about to leave she thinks about the possibility of them no talking to her anymore because akira is actually the glue in the group. of course thankfully it didn’t go that way, and they remained closed even after their leader left ( it’s canon on P5D don’t touch me ). akira is such an important figure for her as well, he has a lot to do with her improvement and i sense ADMIRATION coming from her, because akira is everything she would never dare to be. however the best chemistry she has among her friends are ryuji and yusuke, as they are easygoing, eccentric people and it’s easier to pick up trust on their personalities, as well as morgana as she shows a deep love for cats. ann, makoto and haru are the completely opposite of what futaba is yet the friendship still work because they take up on the big sis role for her. makoto is extremely mature so she actually helps her to find her boundaries, ann might have caused an issue on her self-esteem at some point but she also is someone she admires because futaba realized that she is not only looks, instead, she is an actual warrior who deals with a lot of things, and haru is the fluff ball that actually spoils her. all the different personalities among the group helps futaba towards her rehabilitation ( i’m sorry, i had to LMAO ). 

an important aspect is sojiro, HE DOESN’T PRESSURE HER INTO ANYTHING, he knows and understand what she is going through and he let her be because he is aware that HE CANNOT CHANGE HER. change and getting better is a personal decision, and of course a person needs support but you can’t actually do it for them. honestly, sojiro is a GREAT paternal figure and he deserves all the love he gets because he is so caring and understanding that he contributes to her growing. also the balance in the group of friends is really important for a person who suffers from severe anxiety disorders because it allows them to interact and explore things that are out of their comfort zone, and this is the case with the thieves. they are so different yet so similar that it is easy for her to understand how despite having a similar background it affects everyone differently, leading her to open up her mind a little and allowing her to understand that the change lies within her.

in summary, we can notice a big change on futaba, she is more comfortable outside and with people and she eventually will be over her traumas. remember that she is still growing up and she has a lot to go through, there will be good and bad times, probably future traumas that might affect her anxiety but that’s what i love about her character, it’s not about “getting cured of the conditions” is learning to live with them because they are apart of you. and this is what the character development on my futaba portrayal will go, it will be her accepting her anxiety and realizing that anxiety doesn’t control her but instead finding balance. 

[clovertrails]

Finding a new trail

Leaving my front door, I turned left, walking south. After a few intersections, I hit Mosholu Avenue, a commercial street whose name derives from the Algonquin word for “smooth stones” or “small stones.” Oddly, the river that does run through Riverdale, which likely created the “smooth stones” which the word mosholu describes, is named Tibbetts Creek, after a European settler. It’s kind of odd to name a commercial avenue after a geographic feature of a river, no? But perhaps that could be read in a hopeful manner—to think of the urban commercial avenue as a river incarnate, a life-giving force through the town.

At Mosholu, I turned right (west, toward the river), following the avenue as it rounded corner, passing the local Tudor-style NYPL branch. Past the Riverdale Neighborhood House, a quaint colonial building with a pool and playground that looks vaguely hospitable for a certain kind of respectable citizen. Past the weedy baseball field, past the playground, mostly empty during the pandemic, but sometimes with a gaggle of teenage guys, chilling.

I usually crossed the street at this point and walked up a sidewalk to a curious little park that exists as an island amidst a crisscrossing web of highways. I walked up the street mostly because I didn’t feel like crossing the six-lane avenue just yet. Wanted secluded lanes that would allow me to keep to myself.

The park consists of a hilltop, a green island that just peeps over a loop-de-loop of highways, another one of Robert Moses’ concrete graffiti scrawls over the landscape of the Bronx. There’s a dog park in the middle that’s sort of falling apart; I’ve never seen anyone using it, dog or human. Mostly there are a lot of benches, facing outward and inward.

I kept walking, down garden-style, five-story, red brick apartments. Turned onto a quiet residential road with suburban single-family houses. No sidewalks, just gravelly weedy transitional spaces between grass and pavement.

I remember the gates first. I didn’t yet know it was a school; all I saw was a gate and behind it, trimmed lawns rolling up to a genteel brick building. A gated compound, vast flat fields, lacrosse fields, parking lots – of course, a private school. I followed the road as it sloped downward, hugging the edge of the prep school. There is something so sinister about a totally manicured lawn. How much labor, how much capital, do you need, to sustain this ugly face of control? Walking alongside the compound, I thought of all the iterations of this sort of gated, fenced-in, land – estates, kingdoms, plantations. 

At the end of the hill, the road spilled into nondescript dirt space. From a handful of cars, I gathered that it was a parking lot. The air changed, becoming cooler, denser. Ahead, the gravel met a chain-link fence tagged with the NYC Parks logo, a green maple leaf. This was a park? An old traffic cone and squashed cardboard boxes lay fallen against the fence. If you were walking quickly, or even driving, you would miss it entirely. My mind flashed to other Hudson parks I knew – Riverside Park, Riverbank State Park, Fort Tryon, Inwood. But this one was new, never previously encountered on a map or in person.

It seemed out of nowhere, a glen of hickory and oak, between mansions and railroads. No surprise, my mind flashed back to the gated private school that I had just passed. It was not lost on me that the serendipity of slipping into this trail occurred next to a private school with a 50K tuition in one of the richest neighborhoods in this zip code. Technically, this is a public park, but it is geographically located for the wealthy elite.

Not knowing what was inside this park, or how far it extended, I entered. Dusty paths, tall hickory and oak, flush with undergrowth. I followed a dirt trail and saw the glimmers of sunlight through the kaleidoscopic canopy of trees. I soon found the chain-link fence that formed the eastern perimeter of this park, and glimpsed the water beyond, drinking in its murmuring waves. Wandering more, I came across a dried-up gully, with a fallen tree trunk spanning its width. The top of the trunk had eroded into a temptingly flat surface. Certainly passable, if one had the guts to try. I walked five steps forward, paused, and retreated. Too old.

One thing to know is that the trees there were very tall. They do not rival the California redwoods, but the distance between the bushy undergrowth and the swaying canopy overhead felt vast. The treetops were so tall that they caught all the river wind, swirling it amongst their branches, so that I, a small ant standing below, heard the roar of the wind more so than felt its touch on my skin.

In the immediate vicinity of my body, there was the peace and quiet of overgrown trails and mossy trunks, but several leagues upward (what does a league measure? I do not know, but it feels like the right word), the treetops were in a great upheaval—maple, oak, hickory, all mingling—caught up in the wind, swaying and fluttering in one uplift.

The trail itself is fairly narrow, walk about 15 meters one way and you will see the faint outlines of a chain-link fences. On the riverside, you’ll catch sight of the railroads ahead, and on the roadside, the outlines of secluded houses, lights of vehicles driving by.

But this place, it felt like a little gem, one that, momentarily, was all my own. I knew that if I pulled up Google Maps, I would find this trail on the maps, and that if I searched it online, I would find the NYC Parks page for this trail, explaining in byte-form. The zoning, the planning committee, the pushback, et cetera. But it would say nothing about how it felt, walking through desolate suburban streets and posh gated lawns to then discover, without notice, relief. A windy green corridor, tucked by the river, rushing, still, roaring, quiet—all at once. 

I returned to the trail the next day, and the day after that. I found my legs craving, turning toward the park. One day during dinner, my mom inquired after where I went walking that day, and I mentioned that I went to Riverdale Park, by the river. They were puzzled – where?

Is it by the train station, my mom asked. By the train station, I sometimes see a little trail there and wonder what it is, she said, referring to the Riverdale Metro North station that services the Hudson Line, connecting Grand Central in midtown to Poughkeepsie up north in the valley.

No, I shake my head, no, thinking that she was referring to the pathetic concrete strip accessible to pedestrians by the train station. It’s basically a 15 meter long sidewalk with a single bench and overflowing trash cans where you might sit down and look over the Hudson. It’s certainly something, at least, but one cannot feel antsy, gazing upon the vast sweep of the Hudson while hemmed in by these arbitrary fences for “viewing.”  

Mine was a place that I had resisted placing on a map; it was this little gem of a shady glen pocketed into the outskirts of a suburb. It’s further south of here, next to Wave Hill, I said. You walked there? My dad asked, incredulous. Yes, I walked, I said, hiding my pride in my nonchalance. It’s only like twenty minutes.

Of course, my parents did not understand. They keep to their established routes – to the train station, to the field, to the grocery store. Whatever trail that my mom was referring to was not it. Besides, the trail was quite far from the train station – at least half a mile or so south of it.

I showed them the trail on Google Maps, pointing out the green rectangular patch. Ah, we have never been there, they mused. A week or so later, Saturday afternoon, instead of taking the car to the beach on Long Island, as is our tradition, we drove over to the trail. They were astonished when they arrived at the dirt entrance of the park.  A secret! They exclaimed. They’ve been keeping this a secret! Five years and we had no idea this place existed. Who would have known? So out of the way. Who was keeping this secret??

I chuckled at their astonishment, their indignation, that they had only now discovered this place. Part of my reaction is a weariness of knowing my parents calcified habits. They have lived in New York City for almost a decade now but still – my dad especially – are still suburban in their bones. Their favorite store remains Costco, where they shop at least once a week, despite having been empty nesters for more than a few years now. During the weekends, they drive up north to the suburbs to go hiking more often than they drive south to Manhattan for entertainment. The most urban that they venture is to the local Asian neighborhoods – Chinatown, Flushing, Elmhurst, for shopping and eating.

But their indignant exclamation, they’ve been keeping this secret! lingers with me and evinces, I think, a kernel of truth. If you zoom out from where I’m standing, in this little park in Riverdale, and run your eyes down the western length of New York City, you will see green hugging most of the coastline, corresponding to the richest zip codes in Manhattan. I think about the other, far larger and more famous park, Van Cortlandt Park, that sits next to the 242nd street subway station and attracts more populous crowds of Black, Latinx, Asian, and white residents, picnicking, playing baseball, soccer, flying kites, working out. Of course, Van Cortlandt has far more acreage and resources to avail itself to such recreation, but the park is well-trodden and busy, evidenced not only by the multitude of bodies but also the glass shards that depressingly litter its trails. Most of all, I guess, Van Cortlandt is unmissable, obvious, in plain sight. 

On the other hand, the trail running through Riverdale Park is sequestered away, on the margins with a nondescript entrance and overgrown signage. This trail offers the illusory feeling of having discovered it by yourself, a feeling of privacy within a public space. And within this privacy, unexpected and lively things emerge. But how might relishing the serendipitous joys of stumbling into one’s own world of green manifest not the sublimity of nature (or the self, touched by nature), but rather the hoarding of wealth, in its material and immaterial forms, across private and public lines? How might we deem both of these to be true and think of them together?  Things to keep thinking about…

[brajeshupadhyay]

PARIS — As the two women sat in deck chairs enjoying the last rays of sunshine near the Canal de l’Ourcq in Paris on Sunday evening, nearby loudspeakers jolted them with a reminder that they were in a new mask-mandatory zone. “You’ve got your mask?” Safiya Zenag, unmasked, asked her friend, who replied: “No, I didn’t bring it. I hate wearing it.” Faced with a recent resurgence of coronavirus cases, officials have made mask wearing mandatory in widening areas of Paris and other cities across the country, pleading with the French not to let down their guard and jeopardize the hard-won gains made against the virus during a two-month lockdown this spring. The signs of a new wave of infection emerged over the summer as people began resuming much of their pre-coronavirus lives, traveling across France and socializing in cafes, restaurants and parks. Many, especially the young, have visibly relaxed their vigilance and have not followed rules on mask wearing or social distancing. In recent days, France has recorded about 3,000 new infections every day, roughly double the figure at the beginning of the month, and the authorities are investigating an increasing number of clusters. But 30 percent of the new infections are in young adults, ages 15 to 44, according to a recent report. Since they are less likely to develop serious forms of the illness, deaths and the number of patients in intensive care remain at a fraction of what they were at the height of the pandemic. Still, officials are not taking any chances. “The indicators are bad, the signals are worrying and the situation is deteriorating,” Jérôme Salomon, the French health ministry director, told the radio station France Inter last week. “The fate of the epidemic is in our hands.” Mr. Salomon warned that the virus would continue to circulate and that people would have to adjust their behavior. “We have to live with it,’’ he said. France suffered 30,400 deaths from the virus — one of the world’s worst tolls — and experienced an economically devastating lockdown from mid-March to mid-May. Thanks to the lockdown, however, France succeeded in stopping the spread of the virus and lifted most restrictions at the start of summer. Philippe Juvin, the head of the emergency department at the Georges Pompidou European Hospital in Paris, said he was not surprised by the rise in cases. “You lock down people during two months, putting a stop to infections,” he said. “Once people are again allowed to go outside, it is not surprising that infection quickly resumes.” The course of the pandemic in Europe has followed a somewhat similar trend, with Spain also reporting new local clusters. But important disparities exist among countries. In the past week, as France reported 20,000 new cases, Italy reported 7,000, and Britain, 3,000, according to data collected by The New York Times. Mircea Sofonea, an epidemiologist at the French University of Montpellier, said today’s situation had “nothing to do in terms of imminent health risk” with the situation that preceded the European lockdowns because the number of hospitalized coronavirus patients and deaths remains very low. In France, the daily number of deaths has hovered around 15 in the past week. By contrast, at the height of the epidemic in March and April, hundreds died every day in France, with the toll sometimes rising into four digits. In April, intensive care units were at 140 percent capacity; only 7 percent were occupied about 10 days ago. Mr. Sofonea said all European countries were expecting a rebound of the epidemic in the fall, when people who have been away on vacation come back to work and when social interaction resumes. The French authorities fear that the rising number of infections in young people, many of whom are asymptomatic, may contribute to the spread of the virus to older, more vulnerable people. “Young people felt a little more invincible,” said Olivier George, a 36-year-old baker. “That’s probably what made them the most affected group.” Across the continent, crowds of young people are flocking to illegal parties organized in outdoor areas, regardless of the risk of infection. While the number of new cases in France has been rising steadily, it is difficult to draw comparisons with earlier stages in the epidemic. The number of tests being carried out across France has increased to about 600,000 a week — or about six times the numbers performed during the height of the epidemic. At that time, France suffered from severe shortages of test kits, making it impossible for many suspected of having Covid-19 to get tested. Raphaëlle Escande, 23, a business school student, said she fell ill in March with symptoms of the disease, including the loss of smell, a sore throat and fever. “That lasted three weeks,’’ she said. “I stayed home because you couldn’t get tested.’’ The Coronavirus Outbreak › Frequently Asked Questions Updated August 17, 2020 Why does standing six feet away from others help? The coronavirus spreads primarily through droplets from your mouth and nose, especially when you cough or sneeze. The C.D.C., one of the organizations using that measure, bases its recommendation of six feet on the idea that most large droplets that people expel when they cough or sneeze will fall to the ground within six feet. But six feet has never been a magic number that guarantees complete protection. Sneezes, for instance, can launch droplets a lot farther than six feet, according to a recent study. It’s a rule of thumb: You should be safest standing six feet apart outside, especially when it’s windy. But keep a mask on at all times, even when you think you’re far enough apart. I have antibodies. Am I now immune? As of right now, that seems likely, for at least several months. There have been frightening accounts of people suffering what seems to be a second bout of Covid-19. But experts say these patients may have a drawn-out course of infection, with the virus taking a slow toll weeks to months after initial exposure. People infected with the coronavirus typically produce immune molecules called antibodies, which are protective proteins made in response to an infection. These antibodies may last in the body only two to three months, which may seem worrisome, but that’s perfectly normal after an acute infection subsides, said Dr. Michael Mina, an immunologist at Harvard University. It may be possible to get the coronavirus again, but it’s highly unlikely that it would be possible in a short window of time from initial infection or make people sicker the second time. I’m a small-business owner. Can I get relief? The stimulus bills enacted in March offer help for the millions of American small businesses. Those eligible for aid are businesses and nonprofit organizations with fewer than 500 workers, including sole proprietorships, independent contractors and freelancers. Some larger companies in some industries are also eligible. The help being offered, which is being managed by the Small Business Administration, includes the Paycheck Protection Program and the Economic Injury Disaster Loan program. But lots of folks have not yet seen payouts. Even those who have received help are confused: The rules are draconian, and some are stuck sitting on money they don’t know how to use. Many small-business owners are getting less than they expected or not hearing anything at all. What are my rights if I am worried about going back to work? What is school going to look like in September? It is unlikely that many schools will return to a normal schedule this fall, requiring the grind of online learning, makeshift child care and stunted workdays to continue. California’s two largest public school districts — Los Angeles and San Diego — said on July 13, that instruction will be remote-only in the fall, citing concerns that surging coronavirus infections in their areas pose too dire a risk for students and teachers. Together, the two districts enroll some 825,000 students. They are the largest in the country so far to abandon plans for even a partial physical return to classrooms when they reopen in August. For other districts, the solution won’t be an all-or-nothing approach. Many systems, including the nation’s largest, New York City, are devising hybrid plans that involve spending some days in classrooms and other days online. There’s no national policy on this yet, so check with your municipal school system regularly to see what is happening in your community. France’s scientific council, a government body that advises President Emmanuel Macron on the coronavirus crisis, said in a report in late July that “the balance is fragile, and we can change course at any time to a less-controlled scenario.” The council warned that a second wave was “highly possible” in the fall, given the current trend. The sharp rise in cases has led the government to declare Paris and the region of Marseille as high-risk zones, effectively granting the local authorities power to impose new measures aimed at containing the spread of the disease. In Paris, mask wearing had been limited to public transportation and indoor establishments, as it was in the rest of the country. But the requirement was extended to crowded outdoor areas about a week ago, and further expanded across many more swathes of the city over the weekend. Prime Minister Jean Castex warned last week that the country had been going “the wrong way” for the past few weeks, and said he wanted “to extend as far as possible the obligation to wear masks in public spaces.” The government’s reliance on face masks as a main weapon in its fight against the virus amounts to an about-face in its strategy. Early in the epidemic, faced with severe shortages of masks, the government said they were useless against the virus — contradicting its own longstanding public health policies. “I didn’t find them coherent at all,’’ said Laura Castel, 31, a high school teacher. “In the beginning, it was, ‘Don’t wear masks, they’re not necessary.’ But that’s because we just didn’t have masks, in my opinion.’’ Now that France has more than sufficient supplies of masks, Ms. Castel said, the government was “singing a new tune.’’ Perhaps because of the government’s contradictory messages on masks, people were slow to start wearing them in newly mask-mandatory zones in Paris. Along stretches of the Seine over the weekend, only about half of pedestrians had their faces covered. The police will be enforcing the measures — which will be in place for at least a month — with a fine of 135 euros, or $159. In addition to masks and tests, France now has other tools that were unavailable at the start of the epidemic, including contact-tracing teams and a contact-tracing smartphone application — though neither have been fully tested yet. As the French learn how to live with the virus, health officials have adapted by quickly moving to extinguish local outbreaks and tightening restrictions as needed. The goal is to prevent local clusters from spiraling out of control and pushing France again into a national lockdown. Anthony Rasoloarimanana, 40, a travel agent who was walking under the elevated metro tracks of Boulevard de la Chapelle in northern Paris, a new mask-mandatory zone, said he was worried that the recent period of resurgence was similar to the one just before the lockdown in March. “Have the sacrifices we’ve made over several months been for nothing?” he said of the lockdown. “That would be terrible.” Théophile Larcher contributed reporting from Paris. Monika Pronczuk contributed reporting from Brussels. The post Beaten Back, the Coronavirus Regains Strength in France appeared first on Shri Times News. from WordPress https://ift.tt/3g0JpqQ

http://sansaartimes.blogspot.com/2020/08/beaten-back-coronavirus-regains.html

[yvkkao-blog]

Blackboard Prompts

One lump post - might be in other parts of the daybook, but should all be here:

#1:

I have answered this in other entries, but the image that I had of London was one of a fantasy. London is a place where supernatural things happen. It is the setting for books and films. It must be a fantastical place, near mythical. That rather contrasted with the things people would tell me about the weather and the food in London, but I found things like the London fog charming. It gave me a visual of a city draped in a perpetual shroud of mystery. That being said, I knew virtually nothing about London beyond what I know of any big city. I have traveled quite a bit, and big cities often share some things in common, such as public transit, noise, and crowds.

I’m not expecting much of the food or the people, to be honest, but that is because I have a lot of respect for hospitality customs in America. People are often friendly and open to conversation. The food quality is dependent on the place, but usually, big cities have better food options and more diversity. This is not my first trip to Europe, so I have some idea of what to expect. I have not, however, ever been to London, so I might be surprised. I have doubts, though. I fully expect it to be as beautiful as I’ve always imagined, but my faith in people and food is not as rose-tinted. At last, though, I will be able to say that I have been to London, and I cannot wait.

#2:

My experience flying to London was odd, yet typical—an interesting contradiction, which is amusing to me in recollection. I arrived far earlier than I need to at the Pitt County airport, and I felt bad for several reasons. It was nice to meet everyone again, but I can never sleep before a big trip, especially before a plane ride. This is deliberate. I need to be able to sleep on a plane, or the discomfort drives me insane (as do the pressure changes). Usually, I try to sleep for the majority of any plane ride, from boarding through landing. However, TVs were invented, and not only that, everyone gets one on a plane. To commemorate the occasion, I admit that I watched a good deal of British-based TV/film on the way to London. It was a long enough plane ride that I had time to watch TV and catch up on sleep. It was probably one of my more comfortable long plane rides, so I have no real complaints.

As for the first day in London, the first day is always hard to acclimate to. I try to adjust to the new time zone as soon as possible whenever I go anywhere. The first day is always difficult (yes, it bears repeating). People are tired, hot, hungry, overburdened, lost, and overwhelmed in general. I did like getting out to see some of London that first day, however. I want to learn the transportation system as quickly as possible, but I’m not worried. The London Tube is much easier to navigate, from what I’m seeing, than the Metro in Italy (or most other cities). It’s quite time-consuming, I’ve noted. I try to factor in travel time when I’m planning excursions, and this might cut into my plans somewhat. We’ll see how things go.

#3:

I have to say, my initial perception of London has not really changed, even over this past week. Maybe I am jaded from an excess of travel experiences, but I have not really been shocked by anything. I wasn’t even surprised about the scaffolding mummy that is currently Big Ben, the clock tower, and part of Parliament. The same has happened anytime I have gone anywhere; it becomes a familiar frustration and feeling of resignation after a time. You cannot change your timing to such a large degree, so maybe if I ever get the chance to come back to London, something else will be in the midst of restoration.

I have been a bit disappointed by British tea, I will admit. I can be a bit of a tea snob, but I grew up with strong Chinese teas. I entertained the myth that British tea is without peer, but mainly, it seems to be unmatched in expense. At least the pastries are good, and I got a huge kick out of trying London cuisine that I have read about in books, such as meat pies and British biscuits. I think the thing about London that is superb is the architecture, the buildings and structures of old. I would never want to live in a castle—too many steps, and that’s not a mindset that will ever change for me—but I love to tour through them. Seeing a castle in the middle of a modern city never fails to make me feel like I’m standing in a fantasy land. It’s so much fun, and there is history, and more, in every stone. I want to see as many castles, museums, and art as I can.

#4:

I once got into a discussion about “natural” vs. “supernatural” vs. “hyper-natural,” and I loved that topic because the words themselves have certain connotations, and nothing is easy. For me, I make the distinction between natural and supernatural as reality versus fantasy. I try to be honest with myself and to keep separate libraries about the real world and the fantastical narratives. Nature is natural. A magnificent waterfall pouring over a cliff. A bird building a nest. These things usually happen without human contrivance. When not reading fantasy books, I often think of human designs as unnatural. We often appreciate those human constructions just as much. Things like Stonehenge and the Great Wall are precious to us because they are not naturally occurring spaces.

I looked at the London Eye, and it is incredible, but it is the unnatural mimicking something natural. If we want a “bird’s eye view” of London, well, we can’t fly, but humans can build things that will accomplish supernatural goals. We create folklore legends to explain things that defy explanation. Supernatural is something not natural but more than human. I love discussing supernatural tales, learning about where they came from and why they came about. Science often takes away some of the mystery, which can be riveting in and of itself but boring if you like narratives.

#5:

I miss air conditioning. I knew to expect it, but AC might be the sole reason I never want to live anywhere other than the U.S. That lack never gets easier to bear (unless it’s not summer). If I were to create a monster in a novel, it would be wreathed in flames and too hot to bear to be around. It would also probably be from a swamp—with roots from living in a floodplains area, but such is inspiration. I don’t think I would feel bad about acknowledging these things, either.

As for things that have gotten easier, getting to and from the Tube, and the buses, has gotten easier. It is such a common mode of transportation here that it is beginning to feel natural. I’ve only used one taxi, and that was near day two. I miss my car, though. The Underground is terribly loud, stuffy, and generally uncomfortable. I have come to associate travel with discomfort, which makes me think of Richard and Door. They can’t fly like Peter Pan. Even though Door can open doors, they often have to get around the mundane way. It’s nice to come home to creature comforts after a long time away.

#6:

The “monsters” in the novels came as no surprise to me, particularly with A Monster Calls. Ursula le Guinn and Lloyd Alexander, to name a couple, did something very similar in their writing, although I must admit that Ness’s monster was far more three-dimensional as a character, which I approved of. I love narratives and studying narrative structures, but sometimes this makes things predictable, which is also usually fine. Twisting a trope on its ear must be done right. I most enjoyed reading about the conceptions of monsters from “Monster Theory” and then applying those constructions back to our readings. That gave everything more depth, and I loved burrowing into the history, the culture, and the folklore surrounding these “monsters.”

Since I prefer the fantasy genre almost exclusively to read, I often think of going to see plays as a special treat. The play might have the same text, but the company might interpret it in startlingly different ways. I laughed so hard during A Midsummer Night’s Dream; that has always been my favorite Shakespeare play. It was shocking, and it was glorious. The “monsters” were rather more difficult to pin down in those four plays, however. I can make several arguments, but it often boils down to human nature. The same could be said for the poetry anthology. Poetry interpretation is not my strong suit. I prefer to look at syntactical strategies rather than semantic interpretation. A lyric poem is a beautiful thing, and I know that I want the poems in my anthology to make me smile whenever I hear them. Cacophonous discord can be hard to appreciate without the right context.

Time is trickling away, and there is still so much to see and do. It is hard not to be able to read to my heart’s content when traveling, but I know it is important to do all you can when visiting a new place you may never return to again.

#7:

Synthesis for Essay:

I have learned/decided that I want to dedicate myself to the study of narratives. This was not necessarily a new revelation, but the work we have done here has helped to cement the decision. Experiencing London as we read novels and other materials—often featuring London—has been a novel experience, as it were. For my synthesis essay, I plan to use narrative as my theme. I will draw in the study of our readings and class discussion and try to make connections to multiculturalism, children’s literature, poetry, and folklore. Since our readings have covered that spectrum, the difficult part may be bringing in my experiences around London. I want to discuss the bridge between fantasy and reality, and reading fantasy while standing in a real London location might be the perfect time to do so.

I have learned a lot, and I value trying new things. I would like that to be reflected in the essay. I think it is important to be familiar with the place you are trying to write about and/or include in your writing, but more than that, I treasure the little moments when something incomprehensible happens. When the bus breaks down, when the giant raven eats your sandwich, things like that. Those are the moments that make life unique and exciting. The setting is spectacular, but the people and other things in it define those moments. That’s why I think that level of attention to detail is so important in a book, even a novel that is trying to teach an overarching life lesson or twelve. Sometimes, it is the small things that happen along the way that are the most memorable.

My essay will probably include snippets from my daybook entries and speculation on narrative themes and structures. Everything has a story. Everything is a story. The plays we’ve been to, the novels we’ve read, the poetry we’ve shared, and even the London Dungeon—those all are narratives or use narratives. As participants and observers, we make connections and try to delve deeper into these connections. These, too, create some wonderful moments, and I hope that my synthesis essay will properly convey my appreciation for studying narrative using multiculturalism, poetry, children’s lit, and folklore as frameworks.

#8:

Things I will miss in/about London List:

-stunning architecture

-the Thames

-Chinatown

-museums

-parks and gardens

-King’s Cross Station

Things I will not miss in/about London List:

-London Underground and the Tube

-city noises and smells

-lack of AC

-crowds

Some of these things might seem like they clash, but I have my reasons. Why will I miss King’s Cross Station and not the rest of the Underground? Simple. King’s Cross is a hub, and you can go to many other places from there. The Tube lines tend to be more limited, and they’re packed and stuffy. Similarly, I won’t miss the city noises, smells, and crowds of pushy people. I have had to wear ear plugs every time I so much as set foot outside the flat, and the cacophony of people noises makes me want to jump out of my skin. I hate being crowded. I will miss all of the beautiful gardens and parks and historical structures, though. I love how beautiful those are. And I will miss the museums. I think if a city has a museum, it really has something that people should want to come in droves to see, and they’re often splendid buildings.

I will NOT miss the heat. I need my air conditioning, and that’s that. I did love the Thames and Chinatown. The sound of the water is always a balm, and I can never get enough authentic Chinese food. Most of all, I will probably miss interacting with people. I am a bit of a recluse, so getting to spend time with people beyond the classroom is always welcome.

#9:

I’m packing many, many, MANY photos and memories. This has been a unique experience for me. I usually travel with family members. The last time I went on a trip with peers was more than a decade ago. I had forgotten how much fun it could be. Those photos and videos might not be physically in my travel backpack, but I had resolved not to get too many souvenirs this time. In the past, I have been careful to get at least one present for my loved ones, something special. However, we’re all grown now, and we don’t need anything random. We’re all more interested in putting money towards the next big trip. Consequently, I have only a few keepsakes.

What will forever be in my London suitcase is my London suitcase, as it were. I have a travel backpack that goes on every big trip with me, and it is vital to keeping my stuff where I can keep an eye on it. However, I will be toting home a couple of very nice scarves and some books. I will not be toting home a couple dozen protein bars. We always travel with rations, but I’ve never noticed this tactic doing anything except encouraging us to eat out (avoidance). I will be different, of course. I’ve learned and done so much in London, and I think this will have a huge effect on my as a student. I now know what I want to do for research. I keep mentioning this, but it is important to me. And I want to come back to London someday. That might be the best endorsement I can offer. I will always treasure the memories, the people I traveled with, and the things we did. Those cannot be replicated, and I’m eager to share my tales of adventures when I get home.

[ladylynse]

Here’s an old, partial Danny Phantom fic I’d started at one point. Post-Phantom Planet

“Man,” Danny groaned, “sometimes I just wish no one else knew my secret!” It wasn’t a secret anymore, of course. The entire world knew. But things would be easier if they didn’t. Wouldn’t they? Maybe not, given how literally Desiree grants wishes.

Whoever thought being rich and famous would be great had clearly never experienced a taste of either. Danny Fenton had, at different times, experienced both. At first, being rich had seemed like a dream come true, but it hadn’t taken him—or anyone else in his family, for that matter—long to realize that he’d been happier before it had happened. They’d had the good fortune to be able to leave the life of the rich behind—and, with it, their mansion next to Vlad Masters’ home, thankfully—and resume their normal lives again, all the wiser for their experience.

Being famous was something that had happened exclusively to Danny. For all that he wasn’t the genius in the family, he was the one who had ghost powers. He was Danny Phantom. He was Amity Park’s hero. Well, he was now that he was no longer Public Enemy Number One. And, since the fiasco with the Disasteroid, he was the acknowledged hero worldwide.

He hadn’t wanted that recognition, exactly. He’d have been happy just to get his parents off his back. He hadn’t needed statues of him to be built in every capital city of the world. That was just embarrassing, he’d thought. Yes, he’d saved everyone, but he’d had help, and anyone—well, except for maybe Vlad, who would have done so only for his own purposes—would have saved everyone if they’d been able to simply because they’d had the opportunity. He hadn’t done anything special.

But he was being hailed as a hero nonetheless, and with that, he got a lot of unwanted attention.

Things had been simpler, really, back when his ghost powers had been a secret from all but a select few. Danny Phantom was still famous in Amity Park, and he was either hunted by ghost hunters, his parents included, or hounded by fans, but he could leave all that behind. He could step out of the limelight. A quick change in an empty room, darkened alley, abandoned building, what have you, and he could return to being plain old Danny Fenton. Just a kid, a loser, the lowest of the low on Casper High’s social food chain and the favourite punching bag of one Dash Baxter.

Okay, so maybe being plain old Danny Fenton had had its downsides, too, but he’d never been mobbed by people or followed by the media or anything when he wasn’t Phantom. And, heck, the time Amorpho had shown up, they’d both learned the value of anonymity. He’d loved being able to leave the spotlight behind.

That wasn’t possible now.

The whole world knew his secret. Not just his best friends, Sam and Tucker, and his sister, Jazz, along with a variety of his enemies, Vlad included. It had its benefits, of course. His parents didn’t hunt him anymore, and they’d accepted him. Valerie had even apologized to him for hunting him down, too. Dash didn’t try to shove him into lockers anymore. His teachers would let him write make-up tests if a ghost attacked and he had to leave during the middle of an exam, and they were more lenient on homework due dates for him, too, so he was doing better in school.

The best part, though, was that he and Sam were together now. And it meant Tucker had stopped making cracks about them being lovebirds, for the most part. But he wasn’t clueless anymore, and he knew how much Sam meant to him, how much she’d always meant to him, and it was even easier than he’d thought to overlook Paulina and any of the other girls who had tried to get a date with him after his secret had been revealed.

The fact that Vlad was gone, stuck on the Disasteroid and floating somewhere in space, didn’t hurt anything, either. The rest of the ghosts still plagued Amity Park since his parents had fixed the Fenton Ghost Portal, but at least they didn’t try to capture anyone (except for him, especially in Skulker’s case). Danny couldn’t help but wonder if it was out of boredom—along with a desire to escape the Ghost Zone, of course. But for all that a bunch of the local ghosts kept trying to push the limits, they hadn’t tried ganging up on him and he hadn’t had to deal with anyone really, really strong. The fact that everyone knew his secret, that it was no longer something that the ghosts could hold over his head and taunt him with, meant the dynamic had shifted a bit.

But it was the other shift, the fact that Danny Fenton was just as famous as Danny Phantom, that Danny was having trouble getting used to. And it had been, what, three months? He hadn’t had any peace. Any.

The media trailed him wherever he was. People stared at him, even kids he’d known all his life. His parents had gotten an unlisted number, but it had gotten out somehow, and the phone kept ringing off the hook. His dad was threatening to get rid of the phone altogether if it didn’t stop. He had to keep switching cell phone numbers, too. And the letters. He’d gotten letters requesting help from people in different countries, for goodness sakes! He wasn’t even sure how they’d gotten his address.

He’d had to close his email account for the same reason, as well as the one he’d opened to replace it, and it hadn’t taken him long to realize that people were using every form of communication they could to get in touch with him.

They weren’t going to move. He should be thankful for that. But he’d heard his parents mention it, if only wistfully. While the attention wasn’t focused on them, they weren’t spared from it, either, and neither was Jazz.

It was getting to the point where Danny would actually be quite happy to go and visit Aunt Alicia for a few weeks. It might be Tucker’s worst nightmare, but right now, he’d welcome escaping technology. He would miss running water and indoor plumbing a lot more than electricity, but at least it would be difficult for them to follow him, wouldn’t it?

Probably not. Back when he’d only been famous as Phantom, Danny had realized that some of the media people were really determined. And crazy. Admirable, he supposed, but annoying for him, since too many of them seemed to see him as their newest ‘story’. Now? Now, it was just ten times worse. A hundred, even.

His mom was still talking about home schooling them, too. Invisibility and intangibility—and flight, when it came down to it—really helped to get away from the press, but the constant attention wasn’t easy, and it was even wearing on Jazz. She didn’t show it much, but Danny could see it.

The pile of broken pencils in the garbage can beside the desk in her room made that pretty clear, too.

At least his parents had managed to hold off the Guys in White. They were probably the main reason Danny hadn’t been shipped off and locked away in some government facility to be studied for the unique specimen he was. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that the Guys in White hadn’t given up, that they weren’t just waiting until everything died down a bit, until they could find some loophole that would tie his parents’ hands and let them spirit him away….

He wasn’t safe anymore. He’d never really been safe safe, not since the accident, but he’d been marginally safer when his secret had been, well, a secret. The Guys in White were determined, after all, and had become increasingly competent. Him being half-human wasn’t enough to stop them from seeing him as a ghost to be dissected and studied, nothing more than an unfeeling and exceedingly unique specimen. If he’d had any doubts, they’d all been banished by the way he’d been chased down when his secret had first been revealed to the world during the incident with the Reality Gauntlet.

Then, he’d been able to turn the clock back, in a way. He’d remodelled reality, let it resemble what it was supposed to, the way things had been before Freakshow had escaped and used the Reality Gauntlet in the first place. He’d taken away the memories of the entire nightmarish incident from everyone except those who had known beforehand. Everything had gone back to normal, or, at least, what had become normal. It had been a relief.

He didn’t have any such solace now, though he couldn’t say he regretted not having to keep a secret from his parents.

There was a meteor shower tonight, so at least he didn’t have to wonder which ghost was likely to show up. Desiree never missed anything like this. She had an annoying habit of managing to turn up at little kids’ birthday parties, too, he’d found. She was easy enough to deal with, but she always managed to wreak a little bit of havoc before he caught her. And tonight, well, she could be anywhere.

That was why he was out early; only the first stars were starting to show up. He was invisible, of course. That was the only way he could go anywhere without being followed these days. This time last year, he probably would have taken a bit of time to enjoy studying the night sky. Once he caught Desiree, the only ones who could’ve stopped him would’ve been his parents, or maybe Valerie, unless one of his ghostly enemies had decided to show up.

A quick patrol meant Desiree was still managing to keep ahead of him. The first few shooting stars streaked across the sky, and Danny started his rounds again, looking for a party of some sort. Desiree was more likely to go to a larger crowd of people than to pick off strag—

“Ghost boy!”

Danny blinked. He wasn’t flying over Casper High anymore, and he didn’t need his ghost sense going off to tell him why. As it was, he was holding Paulina. Drifting lazily above her backyard. Danny put her down on the grass. “Paulina,” he said slowly, “you know I’m dating Sam….” Paulina wasn’t the only one who had persisted in calling him ‘ghost boy’, but she was one of the few girls Sam hadn’t been able to scare off. Danny had the uncomfortable feeling that Paulina saw this as a challenge, and she was stubborn enough not to back down. This just proved it. Again.

Paulina Sanchez pulled a face. “Danny,” she purred, “just for one night, don’t you think—?”

“For the last time, no, Paulina,” Danny said. He turned around to see a smirking Desiree. He was surprised she was still here, actually, but he supposed she was waiting for Paulina to make another wish. He could guess what it was.

He let his hands glow green as he rose in the air to face Desiree. “It wasn’t very smart to let her wish me here, you know,” he said. “You’re just making my job easier.”

Desiree laughed. “I grant them as I hear them, Phantom.”

Danny frowned. “No, you don’t. You twist them. That’s what you do. Make monster trucks actual monster trucks and all that.” He glanced back down at Paulina. “What’d you wish for?” he asked, suddenly wary.

“Oh, the usual boring drivel,” Desiree answered. “To spend the night in your arms and that sort of thing. You’re confined here until dawn, if you’re wondering, while I’m out granting wishes.” Her smile grew suddenly. “Have fun.”

“Hey!” Danny yelled, sending an ectoblast after her. She might not have had a lot of time to grant wishes, but she still looked a bit too strong to be easily caught in the thermos, even if he wished her in there. “You can’t do that!”

Another laugh. “I already have.”

Danny sent another ectoblast in her direction and flew towards her. Desiree hadn’t trapped him in a cage, after all. She couldn’t seriously expect—

Danny groaned and twisted around in the air to right himself after the impact. He’d hit…something, and had only barely managed to dodge his own ectoblast, which had been reflected back at him by that same something. “What’d you do,” he asked, rubbing his nose, “put up an invisible ghost shield that only works on me?”

Desiree, who was three feet away and somehow out of his reach, smirked again. “Height restriction’s twenty feet,” she said.

“My parents can get me out of here, you know,” he warned her.

Desiree shrugged. “It won’t matter what form you’re in. You’re not leaving that yard until the sun comes up, even through the Ghost Zone. You might as well enjoy yourself.”

“Enjoy myself?” Danny repeated. “Sam’s going to kill me even if I don’t land all night!” This was one benefit with Desiree; he could sometimes distract her with conversation, so long as he watched what he said. It wasn’t much different than letting Technus get caught up in one of his rants, really. It bought him time.

Of course, he still had no idea what to wish for to get out of this.

Then again, maybe he didn’t have to. Danny smiled. He’d fought Desiree often enough that he’d realized he could sometimes exploit a loophole in one of her wishes, sort of like she could take a general wish and turn it into a nightmare. He didn’t know the exact terms of this one, but he was pretty sure it would work.

Desiree noticed his smile and crossed her arms. “You aren’t getting out of this one until your time’s up,” she said.

“I can make Paulina regret her words,” he said. “She’ll kick me out. I’ll catch up with you in five minutes.”

“I’ll save you the trouble,” Desiree said. “You can’t go invisible or intangible, as per your friend’s instructions. She didn’t want to lose her hold on you.”

Great. That probably meant that even if he did manage to get out of the yard, he’d be bogged down by everyone else he was trying to avoid. “Hey, wait!” he yelled as Desiree started off again. “I’m not done talking to you yet.”

A laugh. “I’m done with you,” came the reply. “Can’t you hear all the wishes people are making, Phantom? It’s glorious.”

It was also resulting in, from what he could see, things like three-headed dragons and wild horses and—who the heck would wish for a fifty-foot snake? Okay, so he couldn’t understand the dragon, either. He suspected the horses were a result of a little girl wishing for a pony or two, though. Stupid traditions of wishing on shooting stars….

“I wish,” Danny yelled, causing Desiree to stop and look back at him again, “I wish…. Man, sometimes I just wish no one else knew my secret!” He wouldn’t be in this position if Paulina didn’t know he was Fenton and Phantom. Well, he might be in this position as Phantom, but if he’d snuck away and Fenton turned up, he’d be out on the street in no time. Before she’d found out he was the ghost boy, the only time Paulina had had time for him was when she’d wanted something.

Desiree had an incredulous look on her face, and she flew closer to him again. “Really?” she asked.

Danny suddenly had a very, very bad feeling. “Um…no?”

He’d asked Clockwork if he could have a do-over of the events that followed the Disasteroid and had been refused. He hadn’t thought to ask Desiree before. Well, yes, he had, but he’d ruled that out. Desiree couldn’t pull something like that off. As far as he knew, it was out of her power range.

Danny looked at Desiree’s enlarged form and swallowed.

Her usual power range, anyway.

Now that he thought about it, it probably wasn’t. If he hadn’t revealed himself in front of the TV cameras, the people who knew his secret would be considerably fewer. And Desiree could handle wiping the memories of a handful of people. She’d done it when she’d erased Sam from his life, after all.

Oh, crud. Why had he ever opened his mouth? He knew better than to make careless wishes in front of Desiree. And he knew he could’ve said something a heck of a lot more harmless.

Unfortunately, there was ‘knowing’ and there was ‘doing’.

“I, uh, take it back? I wish I hadn’t made that wish?”

Desiree laughed. “Doesn’t work like that,” she said. “So you have wished it, so shall it be!”

As the wave of power rolled towards Danny, he closed his eyes and flinched away, knowing things were going to be a whole lot worse when he opened them again.

2XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Yoo-hoo! Ghost boy!”

Danny cracked open one eye. Desiree was gone, but that wasn’t a surprise. With both eyes open again, he tentatively put a hand forward and found that he was still bound to Paulina’s yard. Great. That hadn’t changed, either.

He looked down to see Paulina waving at him and couldn’t help but wonder if anything had changed. Maybe Desiree had been bluffing after all. About being able to un-wish a wish, at least. She probably hadn’t been kidding about putting a cap on how high he could fly or anything like that, though. He wasn’t that lucky.

He sighed and drifted back to the ground. “Paulina, I can’t—”

“Oh, you remember me!” He suddenly found himself enfolded in a hug. “I knew you would!”

“Uh, Paulina?” Danny said, trying—and failing—to phase through her arms to get out of her death grip. “Why didn’t you think I’d know who you were?” Maybe Desiree hadn’t been bluffing after all.

Paulina smiled at him. “We never have been properly introduced,” she said.

Danny swallowed. Okay, Desiree hadn’t been bluffing. But he didn’t really want to find out what Paulina meant by ‘properly introduced’. This time last year, yes, he probably would’ve been overjoyed. Now?

Now, he had to get out of here before Sam really had a reason to kill him.

[creamypudding]

Preview chapter

I am getting closer to finishing this AkuRoku fic. I am so excited. Only two - maybe three chapters left, depending on how it all goes.

Because I am so excited I will share the first chapter with you guys here.

Please enjoy, and I hope to have the whole thing finished and begin uploading to AO3 within the next month or two :)

The Two Penguins

Chapter 1 - Magnetism

Axel snapped his suspenders in place, brushed hands down his torso and gave the waistcoat a firm tug to smooth out any wrinkles. He pulled an errant strand of hair off his white dress shirt, and made sure his sleeves were securely rolled up to the elbows.

He winked at himself in the bathroom mirror, clicked his tongue and with that left to start his shift.

“Sup Morrise! Wasn’t expecting to see you behind the stick today,” Axel greeted as he let himself behind the solid oak bar which stood like an island, in the middle of the large room.

A stout man in his late fifties, dressed much the same garb as Axel, gave him an acknowledging nod. “I wasn’t expecting to be called in today either. Nancy's come down with shingles, poor girl. Me n' Drew will be swapping on and off for a while.”

“Poor Nance. She was complaining about being sore the last couple of days.” Axel busied himself with inspecting the back bar, making sure everything he would need was in stock.

“Girl’s had it tough. Too much stress if ya ask me.” Morrise finished polishing glasses and gave the countertop a once over before the bar opened for the afternoon.

“Can't be this job. It's pretty chill,” Axel observed.

Morrise made a sound of disagreement. “Not everyone's as laid back as you.”

Axel shrugged. “I'm gonna open up. Bars stocked and ready.”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

Axel left the bar and headed for the large double doors, with 'Organization 13’ fancifully etched into the glass facing out onto the street. The bar looked a lot more posh than it actually was. The owner, Marluxia, had a hair-brained idea that if a place looked top end it would keep the riff-raff out.

Axel had been working at the bar for eight months so far and hadn't witnessed any real trouble, so he supposed there might be some method to Marluxia's madness.

He unbarred the doors, opening them wide to the mid-afternoon spring air.  He did his normal duty of putting out the daily chalkboard sign, listing the night’s events, and any specials they had on, and went back inside to await the steady flow of patrons.

Axel had his regulars. Mostly grizzly old men who had been in the blue-collar workforce for too many years and looked forward to only two things in life; having a cold drink after work, and retiring.

There were also a few retires who enjoyed the quietude the bar had to offer during the waning daylight hours. Organization 13 was pretty quiet during the daylight hours. Clinking of glasses accented the quiet murmurs of the patrons. The odd chuckle might erupt from someone as guards eroded with the consumption of alcohol.

All in all it always felt like a nice slide into Axel's shift, because as the sun slipped below the horizon and the lights came on in the bar - no matter how dim - the day crowd dissipated and the nightlife flocked in to seek fun and excitement.

The place came alive as the hours ticked away. Regulars and passers-by came in. Drinks were ordered by the tray-full. Some over-exuberant patron would order a round on the house to celebrate a special occasion, and Axel always came up with the goods.

On quieter nights he performed special tricks he had picked up and spent hours on refining.  He could toss shakers in front, behind, and make them land perfectly after a flight through the air.

When he wasn't displaying his showmanship he was busy tending to his side of the bar. He kept it meticulously clean, sweeping up all spills and saving his patrons from the horror of landing elbows and hands in sticky liquid. He discarded all rubbish which accumulated over the course of the evening, maintained a steady supply of clean glasses in all their varied forms, and made sure the alcohol was always at the ready.

He watched a Hen’s night come and go, as well as a promotion celebration.

Everything went perfectly. The dance floor was electric, the live band was pulling out crowd pleasers, and everyone seemed to be having a great time.

It wasn't late yet, by anyone's standards, but Axel definitely felt like he had been at it for long enough to warrant himself a little break.

“Morrise, I'm taking five,” he let the other man know, before discarding his apron and ducking out from behind the bar.

He went to the staff washroom to quickly freshen up. As much as he loved his job he did find it exhausting work, especially on nights when parties were booked.

Heading back out into the ocean of noise he took the opportunity of viewing the lively atmosphere around himself. He got so focused on work that he zoned out what was happening beyond his island for the most part.

Axel let the music seep into his bones for a moment and danced his way back to the bar. He could spot some familiar faces on the dancefloor. Organization 13 was renowned in the neighborhood for its great live band selection, which drew a lot of avid fans of whatever band was playing, but also lovers of good dance music to come out and play.

As Axel shimmied his way towards his job, the sea of people on the dancefloor parted enough for Axel's eye to be caught on something white on the corner of the room dancing with wild abandon.

The lights hit and illuminated the dancing figure, reflecting and completely dazzling Axel into a standstill.

Most people Axel witnessed dancing in public had self-restraint due to social expectations and being too shockingly self conscious. But not this guy, judging by the flailing arms and the wide berth fellow dancers were giving him.

It brought a smile to Axel's face to see such uninhibited joy. He was stuck by a sudden urge to dance his way over there and join in, but that impulse was thwarted as he glanced over to the bar and saw Morrise inundated by a large crowd.

Axel sighed and quickly made his way to his post, while keeping one eye on the figure on the dancefloor. But he soon lost sight as the sea of people closed around, swallowing the dancer up completely.

Not that it mattered. As soon as Axel got behind the bar his mind switched off all extraneous noise, and he became fully focused on serving customers.

The influx of drink orders kept him occupied for a solid ten minutes. He stirred, shook, mixed and poured. He refilled, made suggestions, and tidied up. And once the influx had been dealt with he relaxed again.

“How's things on your end?” Axel said as he met his co-worker in the space between their respective sides.

“Good, but looks like I'm running low on garnishes. I'm gonna go grab some from the kitchen. You need anything?”

“Nah.”

Morrise nodded and let himself out of the bar to go fetch the ingredients.

Axel looked over his patrons. Everyone looked content and the bar, on both sides seemed clean, so Axel gave himself permission to switch off for a moment.

Eyes and thought returned to the dancefloor, where he hoped to find the crazy dancer.

The crowd had thinned out, the music had mellowed somewhat, in keeping with the neighborhood’s noise pollution restrictions. Axel couldn't find who he was looking for.

He pouted, slightly disappointed. It didn't really matter. The guy was probably straight as hell, with a super super cute girlfriend whom he'd never leave. Not that Axel was out for a relationship. Work came first, but he did like impressing guys and then taking them home at the end of his shift. Axel figured with moves like what he saw the guy would have been fun in bed too.

Axel sighed and mindlessly wiped down the already clean benchtops. He'd just have to dream about it in the shower when he got home. But then something white caught on his periphery. Head snapped to attention. He gave a fleeting smirk as the guy slowly meandered over to the bar.

Well - he was probably walking at a normal pace but it felt way too slow to Axel. He was dying for a closer look and a chat. Axel tried his best to stare in the most inconspicuous way possible, but it became increasingly difficult. The closer his target got the more Axel liked what he saw -

Wildly spiked hair, which probably would have looked ridiculous on anyone else. But as it stood, it gave the guy a rather cool appearance, accentuated by the wholly unique clothes he was sporting. Axel had never seen anything like it, and he had been privy to some very weird and unique outfits, especially whenever there was a retro night at the bar.

But this look was neither dated nor futuristic. It felt completely on trend, but was something he'd never seen before. Baggy pants, with belts for accent, with matching vest - all white, and just a splash of red at the lapels, and some black trims for contrast.

Matching bracers, wristbands and some superfluous chains were attached.

The closer he got the more certain Axel knew that someone like that couldn't possibly be straight. Smirk turned to a big, friendly smile as the guy got close enough to make Axel sure that he was going to the bar for a drink.

“Good evening. What can I interest you in?” He gestured to the back bar with one hand, and ran the other down the side of his body. Subtle enough with years of practice, so as not to freak out straight people, but obvious enough to clue in those who were looking for that kind of thing.

“Ah -” gorgeous blue eyes scanned the back bar. “Just a water, thanks.”

Damn. That was rather disappointing - on multiple fronts. “Thirsty work - all that dancing.” He grabbed a glass, gave it a twirl and filled it at the filtered tap. He produced a coaster and planted it, plus the glass, down in front of his extremely sexy patron.

“Yeah, it is,” came a chuckle, followed by a light rosing of cheeks.

Axel could feel himself getting hard. That voice, that face. Sexy and cute, all at once. He really wanted him. Maybe he had been too subtle? This guy seemed to radiate innocence, so Axel leaned forward a little as he spoke, “Could I interest you in anything else?”

Between gulps of water he said, “I don't really drink - or have money to spend on drinks. So I'll just finish this and I won't waste any of your time.”

Axel received an angelic smile.

Internal groan reverberated around his head. He was about to break one of his personal rules -. “Would you be interested in letting me introduce you to some drinks and unique flavors?” Axel quirked his eyebrows in a highly suggestible manner. “It's all on me,” he clarified.

“Oh no. I couldn't.”

“You'd be helping me out. I've been working on some new drinks I'd like to trial run on someone who's a bit adventurous. You seem like the kind of guy who'd be up for something interesting.” Axel hoped he wasn't delivering that in an overtly sleazy way. The more he looked at the guy before him the more his brain switched off and his sex drive was taking over. He really needed to keep it in check, but damn those eyes, that smile, and gorgeous innocence. Axel wanted to introduce him to a world of sinful delights. Alcohol being just one of them.

He was proud of himself for not saying that out loud.

“Well - I don't mind, I guess. If it’ll help.”

Axel cheered on the inside. “Yeah, it would. Name’s Axel, by the way,” he extended his hand over the bar.

“Roxas. Nice to meet you,” he said shaking Axel's hand, firmly.

This guy even had a sexy name. Axel tried it out, “Roxas.” It brought a smile to his face. He liked saying it. “That’s a nice name. Is it from anywhere?”

Another chuckle, “No, just my parent’s crazy imagination.” He finished his glass of water.

“Another?”

“Yes please. What about your name?”

Axel refilled and handed the glass back. “My parents are massive heavy metal fans.” “Oh, so you’re named after Axel from -

“Yeah, lame, I know,” Axel cut off and gave a small scoff. He liked his name, but wasn’t the biggest fan of the association.

“No, I think that’s awesome. Way better than being called William.” Roxas went to chug away at his drink.

Axel laughed. “Never thought of it like that.”

It seemed to please Roxas, as his smile grew wider. “Do you like heavy metal?”

“I grew up listening to a lot of it. My parents dragged me along to all kinds of tours. Kind of sick of it, to be honest.”

Yet another chuckle. Axel could get used to that sound.

“A real shame when parents ruin shit for their kids.”

Axel nodded. “Man, tell me about it. I’m just lucky they didn't totally kill it for me. I still like rock - but more punk and glam.”

“Oh yeah? Me too!” Roxas’ face lit up with excitement. “It’s why I’m here. I’ve been dying to see Unsaid Velvet but could never get to any of their gigs.”

“Congrats for making it.”

That big grin. It almost slayed Axel. Eager eyes looked back towards the small stage in awe, before swinging back around.

“I’m shocked they’re even playing in a small bar like this.”

“Ah, well Marly, the owner - he used to go to school with the drummer. So he pulled the ‘I was your friend when no one thought you were cool’ card.”

That really got Roxas laughing with delight. “Epic! Still waiting for any of my old school mates to get famous. So far it’s been pretty disappointing.”

“It ever occur to you that maybe you’re the one who’s supposed to get famous?” Axel winked.

Roxas seemed to seriously consider it for a moment. “Hmm. Maybe you have a point.”

“What’s your get famous plan? Everyone's got one.” Axel leaned on elbows. He was thoroughly enjoying their banter.

“Well -” shifty eyes darted hither and thither before he stretched over and breathed into Axel's ear, “You tell me yours first.” He pulled away again. Axel returned the shifty look and leaned in, closing the distance. The guy smelled good. Axel whispers back, “Why? You wanna steal it?”

They leaned back from one another, but only slightly, remaining almost nose to nose. Roxas squinted, and Axel also narrowed his eyes, looking back dangerously.

Anyone else and Axel would have thought this would quickly devolve into a bar fight. But squint grew more pronounced as a brilliant smile exploded.

“No. I just need to make sure yours is different from mine,” Roxas laughed, throwing himself back and sitting upright.

Axel grinned back, “Well my plan is to own a punk themed bar. It’s gonna be so good and amazing that everyone will have heard of it. All the most famous bands will beg me to come play there. I’ll have VIP rooms and waiting lists to get in, which will be booked out five months in advance. That’s how good it’ll be.”

Roxas was like sunshine personified as he said, “That’s great.”

“Now tell me yours,” he pressed.

Roxas leaned in again, starting the whole shifty eye dance once more. He motioned for Axel to lean closer.

Axel obliged, quite happy to keep smelling him.

Voice was low, vibrating against Axel's ear, “My plan is to own a punk bar.”

They pulled apart. Axel’s eyes and mouth went wide. Roxas began laughing so hard he clutched at his stomach.

“You thief!” Axel played at mock-indignation before he broke into a grin. “But c’mon. Tell me. For real.”

Roxas managed to stop laughing, and wiped a tear from his eye. “Okay, okay. My plan’s to make really cool outfits, and to get so famous that celebrities will be clamouring to wear my stuff.”

“Oh, you - did you make what you’re wearing? ‘Cause it’s real cool.”

Roxas looked a little bit proud, but Axel could also see a blush creeping across cheeks.

“Yeah, I did.”

“Can I help you get famous by getting you to make something for me?”

“Yeah, of course. For a cost, of course.”

“Of course,” Axel nodded solemnly.

“I’ve got a website for custom orders.” Roxas stood up and fished around one of his multitude of pockets. He produced a business card, and handed it over. It didn’t contain much aside from a web address.

“Cool, I’ll check it out.” Axel pocketed it. So far things were going really well. “So what about some drinks, Roxas. I’m gonna help you get famous by sporting your clothes. But you gotta help me out by letting me make you drinks. My bar’s gonna have awesome drinks, and awesome music. And maybe even awesome fashion. You can sell your clothes from my venue. I’ll even be generous with the lease I’ll charge you.”

Roxas laughed. “Thanks for the offer. I don’t really have a favorite drink. I don’t really do alcohol that much. All I’ve had is wine, and I know I don’t like that.”

“The world is so much larger than wine, Roxas. But I bet I could find a wine you might enjoy, if you let me figure out what tastes appeal to you. I can build you your own unique flavor map.”

“Flavor map?” Roxas seemed intrigued.

“Yeah, I’ll make you a bunch of different things and you tell me what you like and don’t like about them. And then I’ll be able to nail the perfect drink for you.”

“All right. Sounds fun. I’m game.”

“Excellent! Let’s find out what excites you.” He winked for good measure and turned to the backbar, grabbing the things he’d need.

Whilst looking after his other patrons, Axel worked through different flavor profiles whenever he came over to Roxas. The bitter drink made Roxas’ face scrunch up. Axel got a gag at the coffee drink, and no response at all to a palate cleanser.

After some time Roxas began looking a bit woozy, swaying on his bar stool.

“How're you holding up there, champ?”

“ 'm good. Was that last one anything? Tasted like nothing. Not even water.” Roxas squinted at his glass of water which Axel had been refilling every time. He grabbed it and downed the glass, which made him hiccup. Slurring, he said, “Now that’s a drink. You're really good at making 'em, Ax.”

Axel found Roxas’ drunken state adorable. “That’s the first praise you’ve given me. And it doesn’t feel right. Even a moron can turn on a tap.”

“Well you’re a very good moron,” he stated, while studying his empty glass.

Axel chuckled, “Right, no more for you, Roxas.” Mouth flapped open, as if to protest, but then Roxas started giggling instead. “Yeah. Maybe you’re right.” He began laughing harder and swayed precariously.

Axel, being no stranger to what he was about to do, quickly leapt over the bar and caught Roxas as he slid off his seat. “Woah there. Lemmie find you a chair with a backrest.”

“You dun have to. Dun wanna be a bother,” Roxas muttered into Axel’s chest and fingers found perch on suspenders.

“No bother. I got you into this mess. Least I can do is look after you.” Axel pried fingers off his clothes, turned Roxas around and kept a firm grip around his waist. “Let's get you over to the lounge area. You think you can manage stairs?”

“I'm matter of stairs. Lemmie at 'em!” Roxas lurched forward, dragging Axel along with him.

Axel didn’t bother to correct Roxas. He could be a ‘matter of stairs’ if he so wished. He instead focused on getting back in control of his charge, and steering them towards the stairs, which lead up to the loft.

“I know you said you didn't drink, but I didn't expect you to be such a lightweight.”

“Who're you callin’ light, ya - meatloaf.” Roxas craned his neck and gave Axel a pouting glare.

Axel chuckled. “I take full responsibility. I should have filled you up on bar snacks in between the drinks.”

“Ya should have. I haven't eaten in like all day.” Roxas woefully clutched his stomach as they started ascending the staircase.

“What? You haven't? Why not?” Axel felt alarmed. He couldn't live without eating something every few hours.

“Too busy movin’. Dun know where anything good to eat is.”

“You new to town?”

“Mmhmm,” Roxas nodded as he took one shaky step after the other.

“Well you've come to the right place. Organization 13’s famous for its gorgonzola fries. I'll order you some when we get up there.”

“Food?”

“Yeah, food.”

Roxas picked up his pace, much to Axel's amusement and they were at the top landing moments later. It was a fairly spacious area, more well lit than downstairs. There were several lounges, small round coffee tables and a few pool tables as well, where patrons could chill out when they had enough of all the dancing.

Axel guided Roxas down onto one of the lounges. Small body slumped down with a sigh of relief.

Axel waved down Camilla, a wait staff who was currently collecting glasses off the various lounge area tables.

“Hey Axel. You still here? You're normally out by now.”

“I've made a friend who I've gotta look after.” He pointed at Roxas, whose head was lolling about woefully.

“Aww, sweetie. Did the bad man do this to you?” She asked in a pitying voice.

Head snapped up to look at her, and he shook it rapidly, but then moaned in agony and stopped the motion. Hands went to head. “No, I did this to myself,” he said while squishing his cheeks together.

Axel thought he'd die if Roxas got any cuter. He looked away. “Can you get us some fries, a bowl of nachos, and some chicken wings?”

“Sure. Want me to take it outta your wage?”

Axel nodded, picked up some glasses which had been stashed on the floor, and stacked them on Camilla’s tray.

“Thanks,” she smiled, and Axel returned it.

Camilla went down the stairs and Axel eased down beside Roxas. “I'll get some food into you in a bit, and you’ll feel better.”

“Thanks,” Roxas mumbled. He slumped against Axel’s shoulder and seconds later was sound asleep.

Axel laughed quietly to himself. This guy was too much. He looked down at Roxas’ slumbering form and brushed at hair. Roxas didn't so much as flinch.

Axel leaned his head back and let his eyes slide shut. He lightly dozed until Camilla returned with bowls and plates.

“Wake up, you two,” she sang.

Axel roused Roxas from his sleep. Bleary eyes looked at him and Roxas scowled in confusion. “What’s going on?”

“Hey. I’m Axel, remember? I got you drunk but I said I'd look after you, and - ta-da!” He waved his hand towards the food.

All mistrust faded from sight. “Awesome!” Roxas sat up and got stuck into the dishes.

Axel followed suite and they ate in relative silence, with the exception of Roxas singing praise of the food, and Axel concurred from time to time.

“Ah man, that’s so much better,” Roxas patted his stomach and leaned back against the cushioned surface when everything had been demolished.

“Everything's better on a full stomach.” Axel wiped his hands clean on some moist towelettes and smiled at Roxas.

“You can say that again. But shit, I need to take a leak.”

Axel pointed towards the washroom doors to their left, and Roxas was off like a shot, leaving Axel to his thoughts. He wasn't sure if tonight would eventuate in him getting laid, but he accepted that even if he wasn't, he still had a very amusing evening.

Roxas returned after a short time. He grabbed Axel's hand, pulling him to his feet and lead the way downstairs.

“What's happening?”

“I feel like dancing,” Roxas shot back with a grand smile.

Axel chuckled, “I re-energized your batteries?”

“Yup. You don't mind right? You'll dance with me, yeah?”

“Yeah. I just gotta get out of my work uniform first, okay?”

Roxas nodded. “I'll be on the dancefloor, warming up. Come find me.”

“Definitely,” Axel grinned. He wouldn't miss the chance to grind up against that sweet stuff. He left for the staff area and quickly undressed. He pulled on his leather pants and red satin button-down shirt, leaving the top three buttons undone. Then he hung up his work uniform with one hand, and with the other wiped his face clean with a wet wipe.

He checked himself out in the mirror briefly, making sure he was looking as irresistible as possible, and headed back out to see if he could score tonight.

Axel found Roxas without any trouble. His clothes and moves were like a beacon and Axel was positively drawn to it. He came up from behind and slid arms around Roxas’ mid section, causing the other man to turn around to look at him. “I'm back. Miss me?”

Big smile fell slightly with surprise. “Your face,” hand went up to cup Axel’s cheek, where he thumbed over one of the tattoos.

Axel couldn't stop the grin. It worked every time. “I cover up for work - but I'm not on the clock anymore.”

Roxas’ smile returned and hands slid over Axel’s torso, a very welcomed gesture. They swayed together, slow at first, finding their rhythm. Pace picked up and then they started dancing together in earnest. Hips ground together, hands moved, slid and held. Sweat beaded. And if they moved apart for a while to do their solo moves they always came back together after, finding now familiar handle holds.

Axel couldn't get enough of Roxas. He drank up the sight of him rocking out, but still felt completely parched. His need for the other man was only satisfied once he could hold him. So Axel made the most of it when they came together again. He ran hands under vest, stroking at sides. He imagined taking off Roxas’ clothes, one layer at a time and slowly exploring all that he found.

One thing was for certain - Roxas was definitely not straight. He didn't shy away from Axel's roaming touches. Not even when Axel pulled the bold move of cupping Roxas’ backside with both hands. Axel loved the feel of him. Something about Roxas’ clothes made his body feel firm, lean and glorious to the touch.

Axel was having a hard time keeping his erection from grinding up against Roxas’ hip. He had to stop himself from doing just that on purpose, especially as their dancing became more fevered. And just as Axel thought things couldn't get any hotter between them, Roxas wound arms around his hips, pushing them both tightly together. Axel was certain he could feel a firm heat rub against him through fabric.

One of Roxas’ hands snaked its way up Axel's back and into his hair, and then face was pushed up against the exposed part of Axel's chest. God, how Axel wanted to fuck Roxas right then and there. He buried his face in Roxas’ hair, smelling the fruity freshness and a hint of sweetness of whatever hair product Roxas used. Axel thought it suited the man perfectly. He let out a rumble of approval in the back of his throat.

It made Roxas look up, which saw them nose to nose. Their pace had reduced markedly at some point, leaving them swaying to a song all their own, staring into each other's eyes.

Axel smiled down at him in a sultry manner. Roxas was far more wide eyed, searching for something undefined. But both their eyes trailed over parting lips. Roxas’ hand twitched in Axel's hair and seconds later exerted gentle downward pressure on him. Axel obliged and leaned down a fraction, whilst Roxas leaned up a little. Eyes slid shut and lips came into contact, grazing as heads tilted into more accommodating positions for what was about to go down.

The song they had been dancing to suddenly ended.

“We’ll be taking a quick break and then we’ll be back to bang out some more tunes for you folks,” the lead singer announced.

It broke the magic spell they had both been caught up in. Roxas pulled away completely, clearing his throat and straightened up his clothes from where Axel's hands had caused materials to bunch up.

The fleeting touch of Roxas’ lips against his own ghosted, and made him crave so much more. Axel's heart hammered away with thrilling excitement. It couldn't end there.

“Roxas, you wanna-”

“I've gotta go home. It's way late. Thanks for everything tonight, Axel. I really appreciate it,” came the whirlwind of words. Roxas gave a grand smile, waved enthusiastically, and pushed past Axel, uttering a, “Bye,” as he went.

Axel was left reeling, and by the time his wits returned enough to think about chasing after Roxas - so he could finish asking him over to his place - the crowd had closed in around him, making pursuit impossible.

Axel was left catching a glimpse of white racing through the doors to the outside world.

Fuck!

He left for his own home, all alone. His dance with Roxas was playing on a continual loop and wouldn't go away. Axel found himself under the spray of his hot shower, tending to his need. He brought himself to his knees as he stimulated his sad backside. How he wishes it was Roxas doing this to him instead.

I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. Please look forward to more in the not so distant future :)

[purplemonkeyemi]

exit, or, how i spent 2 evenings

Okay. I love writing my thoughts down. I used to do it all the time in my mid-teens, but life being as it is, I didn’t even dream of keeping that up. I don’t really know entirely why I’m writing this all down, but, I have a lot of free time and maybe one day I’ll find it amusing. I do think it’s important to discipline oneself to at least get one’s thoughts in order about things. So, this was my latest, intentional, grappling with a piece of art.

So, why “Exit”? Why did I spend, what, 3 hours or so watching about 15 different performances, in about 20 different videos, of one song from U2’s 2017 Joshua Tree tour? I’m not sure. And that’s probably why I did it. In hindsight, I feel like that’s the point in the U2 concert a couple weeks ago that I could have yelled at my husband, “Just shoot heroin in my arm next time!”… but, really, I think that had started about 8 songs earlier. Whatever the reason, I have not been able to get that performance out of my mind. I was admittedly enraptured by Bono as a performer that night, but this was different. And I couldn’t get it out of my head, like a ghost, or a shadow. Or a koan that I have to solve. I needed to interpret it to exorcise myself of it.

In a burst of girlish enthusiasm the other day, I decided I was going to find all of the high quality videos from the tour of Exit that I could find and watch them until I understood that performance. By this time I had figured out enough of my personal fascination with it—it’s very theatrical and it relies on several layers of “acting.” [I guess this requires a brief diversion into my general fascination with performers who become other people, including characters of themselves, especially relating to stage names.] BEGIN DIVERSION: Obviously, Bono is a stage name, one he’s carried for nearly (or exactly as?) long as he’s been in U2, over 40 years; it’s what everyone calls him, even his wife. But Bono, stage-Bono, like stage-the Edge, stage-Adam, and stage-Larry, like all musical artists, are, really, actors putting on a stage show. Each night, the same “costumes,” same lines, same set, same characters—they have to “be” themselves. A concert is an eleborate play. Sure, there’s some ad-lib, adapting for different audiences, etc. But those guys are “concert” versions of themselves for those 3 hours. Using Bono again, I’m 100% sure that stage-Bono, as earnest and genuine as he appears up there, is not the same Bono that his wife Ali lives with. Is the Bono that appears in public the same as Bono-at-home? Who knows, but I imagine unlikely. I can’t imagine how larger-than-life people maintain any sense of identity. I’m fascinated by all four members in this regard because they got together as 14/15 year olds and were rock gods by 20. What does that do to a person? :END DIVERSION So, one element: the performer—immersed in a multi-layered act which ends in a character created to protect himself from the darkness of the song (citation--one of several interviews I read). Bono as a real, everyday, married-with-kids-human, performing “Bono” for the audience (as much as he appears in-the-moment, and, often, utterly possessed by frenzied “in the zone”-ness), who is additionally portraying a character-- the Shadow Man—who exists only for this one song on this one tour. It’s an act, on an act, (conceivably on an act. I can’t imagine how public figures with alternate names maintain their sense of self after decades..). I bring this up, because the layers of the performance affect the interpretation. Next element: political commentary in which the song is set The lead-in to Exit (as well as the time-allowed for a significant costume change, it is theater after all), is a brief excerpt of an old television show. An enigmatic charlatan comes to an old West town claiming the only way to protect oneself and one’s home is to a build a wall. Another character calls him a liar, and the charlatan says he is the only one who can save them. Sounds familiar, right? Oh yeah, the charlatan’s name is Trump. An excellent find on the part of whoever unearthed it. Next element: song lyrics. I include them below. The song is about a wise, esoteric holy man who starts with good intentions, becomes obsessed with this idea of “the hands of love” and goes crazy (I can’t remember the details. Again, from an interview.)

And on this tour, there are two additional lyrical bits inserted at the end, which I’ll just do from memory. First, I believe, is a poem excerpt, “Where you’ve come from is gone, where you are is no good, and where you’re going was never really there.” Then a purposefully used version of “Eeeny Meeny Miny Moe,” chosen explicitly for its occasional racist uses (again, according to an interview, somewhere).

Final element: the stage—regular stage front, and a catwalk. I think the only way for me to do this is to annotate the lyrics. It should also be noted that variations occurred. BEGIN DIGRESSION: Watching this performance so many times from different concerts, it was obvious what was scripted. What was also obvious from this experiment, interviews, general observations, and such, is that during performances Bono exists in a very altered state of mind, becomes subject to his otherworldly soul, and turns into a performance artist, making choices (or being led by) based on said otherworldly soul. Clearly he can see through the haze, handling technical issues and such, but, from time to time, he seems to exist purely in the moment and interprets at will. Short version: each performance was a little different because Bono is a very free, uninhibited, one-of-a-kind spirit, especially on stage. It’s part of what makes him a fascinating human. :END DIGRESSION

So, let’s start interpreting this thing. I would like to note that, like interpreting literature, this does not always assume authorial intent. I imagine that artists of all types work as much by intuition as by purpose. Whether some of the choices made for this particular piece were logical or intuitive are irrelevant. “You know he got the cure But then he went astray He used to stay awake To drive the dreams he had away. He wanted to believe In the hands of love.”

-- Shadow Man walks with a slow saunter and swagger (rather than Bono’s charismatic, confident stride) to the mic stand; there’s some hand motions here, most importantly on “hands of love,” he rubs them together in front of his chest. Shadow Man is beginning his journey. He is intrigued, a little haunted, but earnest. He stands still at the mic stand. Sometimes, instead of sharply grabbing the mic, he pulls it, like an arrow, into his chest, in some sort of symbolic gesture. Then begins his descent. BEGIN DIGRESSION: I am/was really fascinated with how Bono interacted/interacts with his mic stand. It’s extremely physical, intimate, and borders on sexually aggressive (imagine Mad Men’s Don Draper and how he speaks to women). He stands very close, sings with his mouth basically on the mic, and takes the wireless mic with excessive force. This observation is one of performance and physical use of space. A similar energy also emerged with him and the camera.

I often try to figure out if stage/screen presence and charisma are tied to body language (conscious or unconscious); in Bono’s case, absolutely. His physical presence was inextricable from his bearing, demeanor, and his use of space/physicality. I think some of it is the learned artifice of a seasoned performer, while some of it, perhaps some of the mic dynamic, is natural and intangible charisma. I bring this up partly because Shadow Man does not have the same physical presence Bono did in the rest of the numbers—through purposeful artifice. This is a distinct character. :END DIGRESSION “His head it felt heavy As he came across the land A dog started cryin' Like a broken-hearted man At the howling wind”

--- Shadow Man begins his descent into darkness and confusion, portrayed by movement around the mic stand (yes, somewhat reminiscent of a stripper. I’ll address the song’s occasional increased sexuality in the next verse), visually representing a vortex. Now we get away from the stationary mic…

 “He went deeper into black Deeper into white. He could see the stars shine Like nails in the night.

 A hand in the pocket Fingering the steel The pistol weighed heavy And his heart he could feel was beating. Oh my love, oh my love” 

--- Shadow Man touches violence and approaches his breakdown in the frenzied beat and lighting; also, in about half of the performances, this also has very sexualized choreography and vocalizations (ours did not), which I don’t need to detail; now, I don’t know for sure, but I’m fairly certain this is part of Shadow Man’s characterization. It could also be just “In the moment” performance-artist Bono taking over his body. But since it happened as many times as it didn’t, I think it’s purposeful and thus requires reckoning. The Shadow Man has progressed another step away from himself. “So hands that build Can also pull down. The hands of love.”

-- Shadow Man walks across the stage to the catwalk, where, on repeated refrains of “hands of love” he clearly has some conversion experience as conveyed by the choreography (AKA, basically just Bono going crazy, as he does do from time to time), also occasionally sexualized. This is Shadow Man’s transformation from which he emerges as a demagogue, using his mystical fascination as a tool to control rather than build or heal. After this, Shadow Man saunters dramatically down the catwalk, exhorting the crowd to put out their hands (or put their hands to the screen, as if he were a politician of TV evangelist). Of course, the audience does extend their hands—because, of course, it’s the appropriate thing to do when a rockstar tells you to. Except, this isn’t Bono, this is the Shadow Man. This is where the performance layer comes in. The audience is taken for a ride, just like the Shadow Man’s dupes are. U2’s audience becomes the Shadow Man’s audience. This is blatantly analogous to how the “dupes” who support the man who wants to build a wall respond to and believe that charlatan (remember the video this number was introduced by). The “hands of love” could just as easily be the hands of power. They both can build up or tear down, as the lyrics state. Of course, this US presidential administration is tearing down, and this song (among others, of course) is a rebuke. Also, it’s important to note that Bono’s a charlatan too, as all performers are to a greater or lesser degree (performing Shadow Man, and performing himself as a rockstar, of course).  One could also add that he acts as a contrast to the Shadow Man, someone who has the ear of the people who tries to build up, to use his power, and hands, well. It’s perfectly constructed meta-commentary.

Next, Shadow Man gives his impassioned, broken-voiced, “Where you’ve come from is gone, and where you are is no good, and where you’re going was never really there” speech to his (U2’s) audience (all still with their hands out, as instructed). This sounds like, to me, the emotional appeal of the political right, or used on the political right. Shadow Man sounds, again, like a televangelist…or a politician. Then he approaches the camera arm, usually right up in it (sexually aggressive again), to give a crescendoing rendition of Eeny Meeny Miny Moe—working himself and the audience into a frenzy the louder, faster, and more frantic he gets. Remember, this snippet was included for its racist uses (though the traditional lyrics are used) and that the Shadow Man is a demagogue. Now he’s learned to manipulate his followers, and he’s led them to the realm of hate. (Hmmm…) The followers again are implored to put their hands “against the screen.” In one performance (perhaps the earliest one I found?) they’re even reminded to send him ten dollars, like a huckster, televangelist, or a politician. There’s a price for being swept up by the Shadow Man. The music then abruptly ends, and, during most of the performances, this happens as the Shadow Man is starting to saunter back towards the stage, and the moment it ends, he turns arounds (or stays forward, it varies), looking malicious of victorious (or is it Bono, with a look of condemnation?). Following this, Shadow Man strips of his jacket (if after one of the sexualized performances, this is still “in character” and it’s done sexually, like a striptease). Then he’s Bono again, who takes off the hat and moves into the next song as himself. Did I mention that the jacket covers a beautiful black vest embroidered (in black) of part of the US Constitution? Analyze that one. The narrative arc and political metaphor is clear and beautifully portrayed as a theatrical performance art piece, scripted yet also subject to the whims of (or forces acting upon) the artist.

It’s weird, and gorgeous, and bizarre. It’s far too layered to absorb in the moment. And I really enjoyed watching it, in various permutations, over a dozen times. When I could afford it, I remember seeing local community plays and musical repeatedly so I could see the subtle differences between performances. This was just like that. In this one Bono had to switch out his mic and remove/replace his earpieces right before the frenzied climax, interrupting the flow and breaking character, or in that one a verse was spoken more than sung, or in this one this choreography was a little different, etc. etc. Theater is alive and this piece of it caught me and would not let me go. Maybe now it will.

[pinarworks]

Back to its Owners: Queering of Istiklal Avenue İstanbul is a true metropole in all senses of the term. It was the capital of three mega empires: Roman, Byzantine and Ottoman; it’s no doubt a city for which a lot of blood was spilt. It’s the the ultimate destination for all internal migration, and a major hub for external immigrants too. Twentieth-century Anatolian folklore even claims that “the earth and rocks are golden.’’ It’s the symbol of the Turkish Dream, the place “to make it”. From students who come to study at universities to labourers who come to earn a living, or people simply looking for a better future. Built upon culture over culture, İstanbul is a Pandora’s box with many stories to spill. And like every megacity, it has been sculpted, altered and transformed by the people inheriting it and their ideologies; ideologies which are as effective as chisels in giving shape to not only thoughts and behaviour but to buildings, districts, parks and streets. One of the most frequently altered districts of the city is Beyoğlu and its befittingly named İstiklal Avenue. İstiklal means “liberation” in Turkish, a direct reference to the İstiklal War (War of Independence) which marked the end of Allied occupation and the collapse of the Ottoman Empire. The previous names of the avenue were Cadde-i Kebir and Rue de Pera, the latter reflecting the increasing European domination over the city in the final years of the Ottoman Empire. Like I said before, this is how streets are sculpted. In this modern Turkey, İstiklal was planned as a tourist centre and a locus for social life with cafes, bars, movie theatres and concert venues. It has been largely successful at being home to a very mixed crowd: students, artists, lovers and of course tourists who hope snap an orientalist miniature of the country in one convenient stroll. Today, İstiklal Avenue is still very popular but with a twist. AKPs quarter of a century long tenure over the city asserted that it will reclaim public spaces for conservative inhabitants of İstanbul who were excluded by the secular elite. In many cases this reclamation was done by police brutality, the intensification of neoliberal policies and a never-ending cycle of gentrification. İstiklal Street has long been among the flagship projects of AKP in the cultural war between two ideologies. It also became the ground zero of AKP’s strict security measures taken after the Gezi Protests of 2013 and the reaction against the failed coup attempt of 2016. There are still special police forces walking around with guns, extra security checks scattered along and military vehicles parked at certain points or just driving at large. The street is now closed to any march or protest including Pride, March 8 Women’s Night Walk, Mayday and the Saturday Mothers sit-in. These repressive measures, combined with the ongoing gentrification and the renewed tax regulations for businesses, encouraged certain residents to relocate to the “still secular’’ Kadıköy district on the Asian side. It’s important to examine the secular part of the country’s cultural, psychological and emotional investment in Istiklal. Losing it to AKP also means losing it to “invaders”, this belief is often vocalised through racist statements against resident Syrians and Arab tourists. Since modernism is pro-West and anti-Middle-East, in secular Turkey, the changing demographics of the street is alarming for that group. Granted, certain AKP policies made it difficult for small businesses to survive here, not to mention the permanent presence of the police after the 2014-2017 bombings. But the expression “Istiklal is over’’ İstiklal bitti is now so commonly used that it has effectively become a proverb. These complaints function as dog-whistle terms to conceal anti-Arab/anti-Afghan/anti-refugee sentiments. The racialised Islamophobia which is deeply attached to this narrative is one of the principal reasons for the white Turk exodus to Kadıköy. The visibility of the Syrian community aroused the indignation of the Turkish “progressive” left during the new year celebrations. Most of these leftist communities were so ill-informed that they referred to Syria’s independence flag as the “FSA flag”. The recent outburst of racism following the election of opposition CHP mayor İmamoğlu has also rung alarm bells about a culture of racism among Turkey’s secular elites. But you see, there are many layers to a city. Most of the time it is communities who get the least credit that carry most of the burden in giving life to a neighbourhood. Secular middle-class consumers scooped the cream and the crust of the avenue while subaltern communities laboured daily to infuse it with a unique spirit. In the case of Istiklal, this is the queer population, the workers at the bars, immigrants from other cities or countries who moved here for survival in the truest sense of the word. It is these vulnerable groups who paid the heaviest price for gentrification, the increased police presence and the neoliberal reconstruction of the district. In fact, these people live through all the consequences of the ideological ping pong while the privileged found other places to gentrify and transform according to their taste. Beyoğlu has always been a key district for the LGBTQI+ community since the late ’80s. In contrast with the conservatism of rural areas, for many queer immigrants, these spaces offered the chance of being invisible from the judging gaze of small towns. Though never fully safe, Beyoğlu has been a survival space for these communities. It’s functioned as a home for them, and the many “firsts’’ of the community happened here. First clubs, first protests, first organizations and the very first pride march took place here. There was always an undercurrent of a counter-movement which though invisible, actually prepared İstiklal Caddesi for what it is today; a street famous for its ‘’diverse/colourful’’ voices. If you can walk in a swimsuit on the streets today without much of a shock from the people, you owe it to this community. So it’s only predictable, once the middle-class consumers of Beyoğlu moved to Kadıköy to continue having fun and gentrifying the hell out of the place, we see the real transformers in action. The recent blooming of various queer parties and other events organized in venues previously considered “heterosexual’’, the increase in the number of gender non-conforming DJs playing at straight places as well as the new queer venues and bars opening in the “mainstream’’ parts of the district, reveal how much this city owes to them. Without the efforts and the stubborn existence of this community, Beyoğlu might have been buried as the centre of diversity and would have long transformed into a tourist-only, shopping centre. The censorship, bans and all that pressure, is of course hard on these communities who have to constantly find ways of surviving in the city. But as one of the most politically aware and active communities of Istanbul, the LGBTQI+ community is all about creativity when it comes to surviving. Pride March has been officially banned here since 2015 and it’s unclear if it will ever be legal again. But even this decision was countered with an act of political creativity when the Pride committee released a press statement in 2016, declaring that they are “now spreading/disbanding’’ to every little corner of the city. Nowadays they are percolating into once all-straight places, through music and parties. Of course, queer spaces have existed in Beyoğlu since the beginning but their entrance into the mainstream without having to blend in or keeping a low profile, is relatively new. Once, the queer community had to hang out in zones they had carved out for themselves to keep safe. Now we have openly queer bars, right in the centre of the city where every gender is welcome as long as there is respect and no discrimination. Şahika Teras, for instance, is run by a trans woman named Üzüm Derin Solak and is located at Nevizade, the hotspot of Beyoğlu’s nightlife, hosting two of the oldest and most loved bars of Beyoğlu for the indie/electronic music lovers, punks and dance-heads: Peyote and Gizli Bahçe. Then there’s Ziba, a bar which is known for its queer heavy audience. Located at the same street with Ziba, Anahit Sahne a live venue that hosts regular queer parties led by DJ collective Queerwaves and a very popular drag lip-sync show called Dudakların Cengi. A trans woman DJ, Şevval Kılıç who has been DJing for a long time in various events and bars around İstanbul, tells me that behind this increasing visibility of queer people and places in İstiklal Street is the fact that “the privileged have left for Kadıköy and so the district is once again left to its original inhabitants: Queers’’. Along with Kurdish bars and street musicians, all these people came here to seek refuge from their native towns, to make like-minded friends and create communities. Beyoğlu is characterized with entertainment and tourism by every administration, but there has always been a backdrop to this “stage’’. Back streets of Beyoğlu as its famously represented in Turkish movies, mainstream media and the common narrative of the mainstream politics, is an underground that hosts underdogs. A “ degenerate’’ world, full of “freaks” such as transvestites, prostitutes, beggars, refugees. A stereotyping of “the dark side of the city’’: a dark side for sure, for the ones who can’t see. “Cities are unpredictable’’ says writer Teju Cole in his book Open City; “Once you give up insisting on stereotypes, you can really start to see’’. Seeing beyond one’s sight is often difficult especially in project-streets like İstiklal which are designed to hide the unwanted with either a secular Western facade or AKP’s money-drawing-shopping-star-project-district. In both cases, the real makers of the city are sacrificed in the name of formal, structural change. Like sweeping “waste’’ under the rug, both regulations only tend to polish the surface of the city, and those who are uncomfortable by these changes but are privileged enough to relocate are able to leave it without giving up much of a fight. Similar to Julia Kristeva’s abject concept, the unwanted, the disgusting, the primitive, all those who don’t fit in the perfectly designed, functioning body of the dominant culture; here in the form of İstiklal Street, are repressed. But they always come back, because they are the real transformers of the city. They resist regulations and push comfort zones until they have to transform and extend beyond stereotyping. And what is resistance, if not this? http://www.mangalmedia.net/english//back-to-its-owners-queering-of-istiklal-avenue

originally published in Spex.de in German https://spex.de/istiklal-caddesi-in-istanbul-14-kilometer-ideologie/

[lethaderr-blog]

Even with only one day in , you can cover a lot of ground.

One day in isn’t nearly enough, but isn’t that the case for most cities? Don’t worry, spending one day in is better than not going there at all. You can actually see quite a few tourist attractions, even with only 24 hours in the city. In our case, we visited for the first time from a cruise ship. Our sailing aboard Holland America Line’s Nieuw Statendam stopped for a day at the cruise port. This meant that we didn’t even have the opportunity to spend one day in – we actually only had about nine hours!

Whether you’re taking a day trip to , stopping in from a cruise ship, or you get to spend the night in the city, there are plenty of things to see and do there. With a short period of time, you won’t be an expert in the city by any stretch of the imagination, but you’ll get a good taste for it. I’m sure you’ll be left wanting more, just like we were.

I wasn’t even expecting to like as much as I did. I figured that I’d like the smaller towns in better than the bigger cities. However, was such a lovely surprise. The city was very quiet at the end of July, especially for the height of the tourist season. Perhaps many locals were on holidays at this time. Even if you visit during high season, don’t expect any major crowds. That can’t be said for most cities in Europe! Next, is such a clean city. I didn’t see any garbage around, and most properties and gardens were perfectly groomed.

The Best Things to Do in in a Day

Now, let’s get to all of the things to do in . If you’re looking for what to do in in a day, this is the article for you. Even though I’ll be writing from the perspective of someone traveling from a cruise ship, this can be applied to anyone visiting the city. Justin and I participated in one cruise ship excursion that you can easily book through the cruise ship. Otherwise, I’ll provide the details for you to plan this sort this tour activity independently.

In addition, I’ll write about attractions, ideas for coffee and lunch, sightseeing opportunities, and everything else that you can easily do within eight hours. Lastly, I’ll provide some alternative activities if you have 24 hours in (or 2 days in , or 3 days in ). These are the things we’d like to do when we return someday.

Take an Bike

If you only have one day in (and it’s your first time in the city), you’ll want to check out the best of the best. There won’t nearly be enough time for everything, but it’s a great opportunity to see the highlights and leave you longing to return. Justin and I embarked on an bike tour right from our cruise ship, Holland America Line’s Nieuw Statendam. We booked the tour, “Biking in – 3 Hours.” Here’s the official tour description:

Bike along car-free paths, parks, hidden back streets and the fjord. Discover the major sites in a fun and relaxed manner. Enjoy stops for pictures. The guides reveal the stories behind the monuments, such as the medieval castle, the Royal Palace and the world famous Frogner Sculpture Park. Note: Minimum age is 12.

Not traveling from a cruise ship? Of course, you can still take a bike tour in . You can book the exact same bike tour in that we took on your own. You won’t need to bring anything on the tour, other than a rain jacket, proper footwear (regular running shoes will do), and your smartphone or DSLR camera to take photos at each stop. Your tour guide will provide you with a bicycle, fitted properly to your height, as well as a helmet, if you choose to wear one. Many of the bicycles have baskets in the back to store your belongings.

Here are the stops on our bike tour, which you’re welcome to visit on your own. I do recommend having a guide so you can learn about the history and present day happenings in . If biking is not your style, you should take a small group walking tour in , or even consider booking the hop-on hop-off sightseeing bus to get around town.

Akershus Fortress

Our verandah cabin on the Nieuw Statendam faced the Akershus Fortress, so we had a perfect view of this structure right from the cruise ship. Once we met our tour guide at the dock, we walked through the Akershus Fortress (also known as Akershus Castle) on the way to the bike shop. Anyone can visit this historic site as it’s free and open to the public from 06:00 – 21:00 every day.

The Akershus Fortress is a medieval castle built in 1299 under King Håkon V. It was a residence for the royal family, and it also protected them. The castle sits in a strategic spot high up on a hill, and it’s withstood a number of sieges over the years. Over time, the fortress was used as a military base, a prison, and today it is a museum. Feel free to wander around the castle grounds or visit the Fortress Visitor Centre to inquire about guided tours in the summer.

Christiania Torv

Christiania Torv is a historic city square in the old city center of . The square is most famous for its fountain with the statue of a hand pointing to the ground. This is the birthplace of modern . After a fire destroyed most of the city in 1624, the Danish-Norwegian King Christian IV rebuilt the city and named it after himself. The statue signifies that he pointed to this spot and declared that the new city would exist there.

When gained independence in 1814, the city of Christiania became its capital. In 1925, it was renamed back to . Today, this historic square is a wonderful gathering place with shops and patios. It wasn’t busy or bustling when we visited on a rainy weekday morning, but I can imagine that this town square is very popular on sunny weekends.

Rådhusplassen

Next, we rode our bikes to Rådhusplassen, a town square between City Hall and the fjord. It used to be a road, but it’s now a pedestrian zone and recreational space. You’ll find several classic sculptures in Rådhusplassen that were designed to contrast the modern buildings around it. There are also many flower beds and scenery of the waterfront to admire.

National Theatre

The National Theatre of , designed by architect Henrik Bull, has showcased stage productions and performances since 1899. There are statues of Henrik Ibsen and Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson, two famous Norwegian writers, on either side of its entrance. The theatre has featured Ibsen’s plays every year since its opening, and also hosts the International Ibsen Festival.

The Royal Palace (Det Kongelige Slott)

At the end of Karl Johans Gate and on a hill overlooking the city, you’ll find the Royal Palace (known in Norwegian as Det Kongelige Slott or Slottet). It’s a very large and stately building surrounded by the Palace Park and the Palace Square out front. The palace was completed in 1849 and was the residence of King Charles III, the ruler of and Sweden. It is currently the official residence of the Norwegian monarch, HM King Harald V and HM Queen Sonja.

You can take public tours of the Royal Palace and there are guided tours in the summer. The palace is protected by Hans Majestet Kongens Garde (His Majesty The King’s Guard, or the Royal Guards). You can watch the changing of the guards ceremony daily at 1:30pm. We learned a little bit about the history of and its monarchy from our informative guide on our bike tour. While we didn’t go inside the palace this time around, I’d like to do that upon our return to in the future.

Frogner Park and Vigeland Sculptures

Frogner Park is most famous for its sculpture installation by Gustav Vigeland, and it’s one of the most popular tourist attractions. The Vigeland sculpture park is free and open to the public (24 hours a day, 365 days a year), and it tops the list of things to do in . Even if you only have one day in , you must make the trip to Frogner Park to see Vigeland’s statues and sculptures.

Vigeland Park is the largest sculpture park in the world where a single artist created every single work of art. Gustav Vigeland made over 200 bronze, granite and cast iron sculptures for this permanent art installation. He also designed the architectural layout of the park itself. The sculptures are naked human figures, depicting a variety of poses, emotions, and situations that range from realistic to completely surreal. Not only is it one of the top attractions, but it’s one of the most popular in all of . If you’re seeking what to do in , you won’t be disappointed by the Vigeland sculpture installation in Frogner Park.

When you enter Frogner Park, you’ll see bright and beautiful flower beds all around, including roses and other colorful flowering plants. When we visited at the end of July, the flowers were all in bloom. Then, you’ll discover Vigeland’s statues, his life’s work. If you’re looking for what to see in , this is one of the highlights of the city.

Vigeland Park: The Bridge

The Bridge at Vigeland Park has 58 bronze sculptures dating back to 1925-1933. These are some of the first sculptures mounted at the park back in the 1940s. There are women, men, and children of all ages, playing on energetic themes. “The Angry Boy” is one of the most famous statues within the park, and you’ll find him on the bridge.

Vigeland Sculpture Park: The Fountain

Beyond a rose garden, you’ll reach The Fountain, one of Vigeland’s earliest sculptures and a focal point of the park. In the middle, giant men hold a saucer as water cascades all around them. There are also people intertwined with trees, representing the relationship between humans and nature.

Vigeland Park: The Monolith

Next, you’ll reach another primary focus of Vigeland sculpture park, The Monolith. It’s at the highest point of the park, and it’s carved out of one solid stone block. It stands 17 meters tall and features 121 human figures intertwined and spiraling upwards. There are men, women, and children at the top. This sculpture could represent our longing for spirituality or a portrayal of resurrection.

Tjuvholmen & Aker Brygge

We rode our bikes through quiet city streets to the neighborhoods of Tjuvholmen and Aker Brygge. Our small group stopped first in Tjuvholmen, breezing past several art galleries and unique architectural spaces. You could spend all day in Tjuvholmen discovering art at the Astrup Fearnley Museet, the Tjuvholmen sculpture park, and even its parking garage (there’s a giant decoration of a foot stomping through the ceiling called “One foot in the grave”).

We stopped at the end of the pier where we learned that many locals like to swim in the waters there. In fact, we saw a man strip down to his swimsuit and dive in the water, even though it was a rainy and cool day. Our guide explained that the water is often much warmer than the air temperature.

Aker Brygge is a region by the waterfront with many restaurants stretching along a large boardwalk. You can enjoy a meal or a glass of wine on one of many patios with beautiful scenery all around. There’s always lots of activity in this space with many tourists and locals going for a stroll by the water.

Rådhuset (City Hall)

’s City Hall building was built in the stark, Brutalist architectural style. On December 10th each year, the Nobel Peace Prize ceremony is hosted at City Hall (December 10th is the anniversary of Alfred Nobel’s death).

Lunch and Coffee Options

At this point, our bike tour came to an end. After taking the tour, it remains my top choice for excursions from a cruise ship or otherwise. By riding bikes around the city, we were able to explore what to do in efficiently by covering a lot of ground. Also, the tour was only three hours long, which left us with lots of time to keep exploring. You can see a lot in in one day! I also recommend breaking up your activities with a meal in the middle. Take a bike ride in the morning, stop for lunch, and head back out in the afternoon before the cruise ship departs.

Back on the Ship

The most cost effective lunch option if you’re visiting on a cruise is to dine back on the ship. It’s all included in the cost of the cruise. Justin and I went back on board the Nieuw Statendam for a quick bite at the Lido Market. Everything tastes so fresh and delicious, and the meals are prepared to order before your eyes.

The Fragrance of the Heart

If you’re looking for dining options near the cruise port, my top choice is the vegetarian cafe, The Fragrance of the Heart. I stopped there for coffee, but wished that I had more room in my stomach for a meal or a dessert. There are many vegan and gluten-free options at The Fragrance of the Heart. The man working there was so nice and welcoming, and I was surprised to learn that he recently visited Toronto and Justin’s home city, Etobicoke. It’s a small world!

Exploring on Foot

For the rest of the afternoon, I set out to explore on foot. There are many attractions and sights near the cruise ship terminal. It’s easy to walk all over within a couple of hours. If there’s somewhere you’d like to visit that isn’t within walking distance, their public transit system and buses are quite good and easy to navigate. Here is some sightseeing and things to do in that you can see simply by walking around.

Karl Johans Gate

Karl Johans Gate is the main city street in , named after King Charles III John (King Charles XIV John in Sweden). The Royal Palace sits at one end of King Johans Gate, and there are many other attractions and shops all along this street. You can see unique fountains, buildings, Central Station, the National Theater building, and more. There are also many restaurants, clubs, bars, and cafes in this lively area of the city.

Palace Park (Slottsparken)

Since we only briefly stopped at the Royal Palace on our bike tour, I decided to walk back up to the Royal Palace to visit the Palace Park. If you visit around 1:30pm, you can watch the changing of the guards ceremony, too. The Palace Park is a very green area of the city. I also admired a public art installation within the park itself, too. If you’re a fan of sculptures and public art, you’ll love to visit as there are so many all over the city. Even with only one day in , I recommend exploring the Royal Palace and the Palace Park as much as you can.

Quiet Neighborhoods and City Streets

If you have the chance, wander down the quiet side streets in . Observe the intricate details on the colorful homes in local neighborhoods. There really weren’t any other people around in the middle of the day, and it felt very safe to me. We caught some glimpses of these houses and streets on our bike tour, but I wanted to wander down some more streets after walking through the Palace Park. It’s a great little detour if you have the chance.

Street Art at the Ship Terminal

I’m always on the lookout for street art on my travels. There’s actually quite a bit of street art and murals right at the cruise ship terminal. If you take a walk along the pier and keep walking by the water near the Akershus Fortress, you’ll see lots of colorful art on the walls and buildings. It’s nice that there’s such a great collection all in one place.

2 or 3 Days in ? Here are More Attractions

All of the activities, attractions, and tours that I listed above will surely keep you busy throughout your stay in , whether you have one day in or even only a handful of hours. If you have 2 days in or even 3 days in , there’s plenty more to see and do. Here are some things to do in if you have more time. They’re definitely on our list for when we return.

Viking Ship Museum

’s Viking Ship Museum contains well preserved Viking ships that date back to the 9th century. You can see some of the world’s best preserved Viking ships. These ships also served as parts of burial mounds for their wealthy owners. Uncovering these ships has revealed skeletons and artifacts from the past.

The Fram Museum

The Fram Museum displays the world’s strongest wooden vessel, the polar ship called Fram. Visitors can go on board the ship for a tour to its various rooms, including cabins and the engine room. It’s a great way to explore ’s history of polar explorers and expeditions.

Nobel Peace Center

The Noble Peace Center is a space dedicated to winners of the Nobel Peace Prize. There’s a permanent display with details of Peace Prize laureates’ work and lives. There are also several other rotating exhibitions revolving around themes of people, nature, war, and climate.

Holmenkollen Ski Museum

If you love everything relating to skiing, the Holmenkollen Ski Museum will top this list of things to do in . You can learn about 4000 years of skiing history through the museum’s exhibitions and displays. Beyond the ski museum, the main attraction here is the Holmenkollen ski jump tower.

University Botanical Garden

Part of the Natural History Museum of the University of , the Botanical Garden is a peaceful and beautiful space within the city. Since 1814, the Botanical Garden showcases plant diversity and conservation through several different garden displays and greenhouses. There’s the Rock Garden, the Herb Garden, the Aromatic Garden, The Arboretum, and even a Viking Garden.

Where to Stay in

While we didn’t spend the night in as we visited from a cruise ship, there are lots of excellent choices for accommodations near the city center. While staying at an Airbnb apartment is a great choice, I’d compare those prices to hotels in that might offer just as much bang for your buck. The Radisson Blu Plaza Hotel offers a luxurious stay in an excellent location, just steps from Central Station. If you’re traveling on a budget, the Citybox provides a comfortable stay in a fantastic location (minus a few of the frills).

.kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap {background:rgba(206, 249, 248, 1);padding:20px 20px 20px 20px;border-width:0px 0px 0px 0px;} .kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap:hover {border-color:rgba(238, 238, 238, 1);background:rgba(206, 249, 248, 1);} .kt-blocks-info-box-media {color: 0px 0px 0px;padding:10px 10px 10px 10px;} .kt-blocks-info-box-media-container {margin:0px 15px 0px 15px;} .kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap:hover .kt-blocks-info-box-media {color:#444;background:transparent;border-color:#444444;} .kt-blocks-info-box-title {color: 0px 0px 0px;margin:5px 0px 10px 0px;} .kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap:hover .kt-blocks-info-box-title {color:#444;} .kt-blocks-info-box-text {color:#444;} .kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap:hover .kt-blocks-info-box-text {color:#444;} .kt-blocks-info-box-learnmore {color: 0px 0px 0px;padding:4px 8px 4px 8px;margin:10px 0px 10px 0px;} .kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap:hover .kt-blocks-info-box-learnmore {color: <div id="" class="wp-block-kadence-infobox"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-link-wrap kt-blocks-info-box-media-align-top kt-info-halign-center"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media-container"><div class="kt-blocks-info-box-media kt-info-media-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-container kt-info-icon-animate-none"><div class="kadence-info-box-icon-inner-container"><span style="display:block;justify-content:center;align-items:center" class="kt-info-svg-icon kt-info-svg-icon-fas_camera"><svg style="display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle" viewbox="0 0 512 512" height="80" width="80" fill="currentColor" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><path d="M512 144v288c0 26.5-21.5 48-48 48H48c-26.5 0-48-21.5-48-48V144c0-26.5 21.5-48 48-48h88l12.3-32.9c7-18.7 24.9-31.1 44.9-31.1h125.5c20 0 37.9 12.4 44.9 31.1L376 96h88c26.5 0 48 21.5 48 48zM376 288c0-66.2-53.8-120-120-120s-120 53.8-120 120 53.8 120 120 120 120-53.8 120-120zm-32 0c0 48.5-39.5 88-88 88s-88-39.5-88-88 39.5-88 88-88 88 39.5 88 88z"><div class="kt-infobox-textcontent"><h4 class="kt-blocks-info-box-title">Want to see more photos of ?<p class="kt-blocks-info-box-text">You can see all of our travel photography in one place at our travel photos page. You can also buy prints, housewares and more by clicking the “buy” button by any picture.<div class="kt-blocks-info-box-learnmore-wrap"><a class="kt-blocks-info-box-learnmore" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" href="http://go.redirectingat.com/?id=125747X1586856&xs=1&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftravelphotos.justinpluslauren.com%2F%2F-2019%2F&sref=rss">Learn More <p> is a city that’s easy to fall in love with: it’s clean, quiet, and there are lots of opportunities for sightseeing. There are still lots of museums and attractions on my bucket list, so I know that we’ll be back to in the future. <ul class="wp-block-gallery columns-3"><li class="blocks-gallery-item"><figure><img src="https://justinpluslauren.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/-1-Day-Pinterest3-683x1024.jpg" alt="One Day in : The Best Things to Do in in a Day from a Ship data-id="18711" data-link="https://justinpluslauren.com/?attachment_id=18711" class="wp-image-18711" srcset="https://justinpluslauren.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/-1-Day-Pinterest3-683x1024.jpg 683w, https://justinpluslauren.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/-1-Day-Pinterest3-200x300.jpg 200w, https://justinpluslauren.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/-1-Day-Pinterest3.jpg 735w" sizes="(max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px" /><li class="blocks-gallery-item"><figure><img src="https://justinpluslauren.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/-1-Day-Pinterest2-683x1024.jpg" alt="One Day in : The Best Things to Do in in a Day from a Ship data-id="18710" data-link="https://justinpluslauren.com/?attachment_id=18710" class="wp-image-18710" srcset="https://justinpluslauren.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/-1-Day-Pinterest2-683x1024.jpg 683w, https://justinpluslauren.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/-1-Day-Pinterest2-200x300.jpg 200w, https://justinpluslauren.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/-1-Day-Pinterest2.jpg 735w" sizes="(max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px" /><li class="blocks-gallery-item"><figure><img src="https://justinpluslauren.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/-1-Day-Pinterest1-683x1024.jpg" alt="One Day in : The Best Things to Do in in a Day from a Ship data-id="18709" data-link="https://justinpluslauren.com/?attachment_id=18709" class="wp-image-18709" srcset="https://justinpluslauren.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/-1-Day-Pinterest1-683x1024.jpg 683w, https://justinpluslauren.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/-1-Day-Pinterest1-200x300.jpg 200w, https://justinpluslauren.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/-1-Day-Pinterest1.jpg 735w" sizes="(max-width: 683px) 100vw, 683px" /> <p><em>This post contains affiliate links. If you click one of them, I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. <h4>Do you enjoy biking and tours when you travel, or would you rather explore on your own? <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://justinpluslauren.com/one-day-in-oslo-norway/">One Day in : The Best Things to Do in in a Day from a Ship appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://justinpluslauren.com">Justin Plus Lauren.

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Beaten Back, the Coronavirus Regains Strength in France

PARIS — As the two women sat in deck chairs enjoying the last rays of sunshine near the Canal de l’Ourcq in Paris on Sunday evening, nearby loudspeakers jolted them with a reminder that they were in a new mask-mandatory zone.

“You’ve got your mask?” Safiya Zenag, unmasked, asked her friend, who replied: “No, I didn’t bring it. I hate wearing it.”

Faced with a recent resurgence of coronavirus cases, officials have made mask wearing mandatory in widening areas of Paris and other cities across the country, pleading with the French not to let down their guard and jeopardize the hard-won gains made against the virus during a two-month lockdown this spring.

The signs of a new wave of infection emerged over the summer as people began resuming much of their pre-coronavirus lives, traveling across France and socializing in cafes, restaurants and parks. Many, especially the young, have visibly relaxed their vigilance and have not followed rules on mask wearing or social distancing.

In recent days, France has recorded about 3,000 new infections every day, roughly double the figure at the beginning of the month, and the authorities are investigating an increasing number of clusters.

But 30 percent of the new infections are in young adults, ages 15 to 44, according to a recent report. Since they are less likely to develop serious forms of the illness, deaths and the number of patients in intensive care remain at a fraction of what they were at the height of the pandemic. Still, officials are not taking any chances.

“The indicators are bad, the signals are worrying and the situation is deteriorating,” Jérôme Salomon, the French health ministry director, told the radio station France Inter last week. “The fate of the epidemic is in our hands.”

Mr. Salomon warned that the virus would continue to circulate and that people would have to adjust their behavior. “We have to live with it,’’ he said.

France suffered 30,400 deaths from the virus — one of the world’s worst tolls — and experienced an economically devastating lockdown from mid-March to mid-May. Thanks to the lockdown, however, France succeeded in stopping the spread of the virus and lifted most restrictions at the start of summer.

Philippe Juvin, the head of the emergency department at the Georges Pompidou European Hospital in Paris, said he was not surprised by the rise in cases.

“You lock down people during two months, putting a stop to infections,” he said. “Once people are again allowed to go outside, it is not surprising that infection quickly resumes.”

The course of the pandemic in Europe has followed a somewhat similar trend, with Spain also reporting new local clusters. But important disparities exist among countries. In the past week, as France reported 20,000 new cases, Italy reported 7,000, and Britain, 3,000, according to data collected by The New York Times.

Mircea Sofonea, an epidemiologist at the French University of Montpellier, said today’s situation had “nothing to do in terms of imminent health risk” with the situation that preceded the European lockdowns because the number of hospitalized coronavirus patients and deaths remains very low.

In France, the daily number of deaths has hovered around 15 in the past week. By contrast, at the height of the epidemic in March and April, hundreds died every day in France, with the toll sometimes rising into four digits.

In April, intensive care units were at 140 percent capacity; only 7 percent were occupied about 10 days ago.

Mr. Sofonea said all European countries were expecting a rebound of the epidemic in the fall, when people who have been away on vacation come back to work and when social interaction resumes.

The French authorities fear that the rising number of infections in young people, many of whom are asymptomatic, may contribute to the spread of the virus to older, more vulnerable people.

“Young people felt a little more invincible,” said Olivier George, a 36-year-old baker. “That’s probably what made them the most affected group.”

Across the continent, crowds of young people are flocking to illegal parties organized in outdoor areas, regardless of the risk of infection.

While the number of new cases in France has been rising steadily, it is difficult to draw comparisons with earlier stages in the epidemic.

The number of tests being carried out across France has increased to about 600,000 a week — or about six times the numbers performed during the height of the epidemic. At that time, France suffered from severe shortages of test kits, making it impossible for many suspected of having Covid-19 to get tested.

Raphaëlle Escande, 23, a business school student, said she fell ill in March with symptoms of the disease, including the loss of smell, a sore throat and fever. “That lasted three weeks,’’ she said. “I stayed home because you couldn’t get tested.’’

The Coronavirus Outbreak ›

Frequently Asked Questions

Updated August 17, 2020

Why does standing six feet away from others help?

The coronavirus spreads primarily through droplets from your mouth and nose, especially when you cough or sneeze. The C.D.C., one of the organizations using that measure, bases its recommendation of six feet on the idea that most large droplets that people expel when they cough or sneeze will fall to the ground within six feet. But six feet has never been a magic number that guarantees complete protection. Sneezes, for instance, can launch droplets a lot farther than six feet, according to a recent study. It’s a rule of thumb: You should be safest standing six feet apart outside, especially when it’s windy. But keep a mask on at all times, even when you think you’re far enough apart.

I have antibodies. Am I now immune?

As of right now, that seems likely, for at least several months. There have been frightening accounts of people suffering what seems to be a second bout of Covid-19. But experts say these patients may have a drawn-out course of infection, with the virus taking a slow toll weeks to months after initial exposure. People infected with the coronavirus typically produce immune molecules called antibodies, which are protective proteins made in response to an infection. These antibodies may last in the body only two to three months, which may seem worrisome, but that’s perfectly normal after an acute infection subsides, said Dr. Michael Mina, an immunologist at Harvard University. It may be possible to get the coronavirus again, but it’s highly unlikely that it would be possible in a short window of time from initial infection or make people sicker the second time.

I’m a small-business owner. Can I get relief?

The stimulus bills enacted in March offer help for the millions of American small businesses. Those eligible for aid are businesses and nonprofit organizations with fewer than 500 workers, including sole proprietorships, independent contractors and freelancers. Some larger companies in some industries are also eligible. The help being offered, which is being managed by the Small Business Administration, includes the Paycheck Protection Program and the Economic Injury Disaster Loan program. But lots of folks have not yet seen payouts. Even those who have received help are confused: The rules are draconian, and some are stuck sitting on money they don’t know how to use. Many small-business owners are getting less than they expected or not hearing anything at all.

What are my rights if I am worried about going back to work?

What is school going to look like in September?

It is unlikely that many schools will return to a normal schedule this fall, requiring the grind of online learning, makeshift child care and stunted workdays to continue. California’s two largest public school districts — Los Angeles and San Diego — said on July 13, that instruction will be remote-only in the fall, citing concerns that surging coronavirus infections in their areas pose too dire a risk for students and teachers. Together, the two districts enroll some 825,000 students. They are the largest in the country so far to abandon plans for even a partial physical return to classrooms when they reopen in August. For other districts, the solution won’t be an all-or-nothing approach. Many systems, including the nation’s largest, New York City, are devising hybrid plans that involve spending some days in classrooms and other days online. There’s no national policy on this yet, so check with your municipal school system regularly to see what is happening in your community.

France’s scientific council, a government body that advises President Emmanuel Macron on the coronavirus crisis, said in a report in late July that “the balance is fragile, and we can change course at any time to a less-controlled scenario.”

The council warned that a second wave was “highly possible” in the fall, given the current trend.

The sharp rise in cases has led the government to declare Paris and the region of Marseille as high-risk zones, effectively granting the local authorities power to impose new measures aimed at containing the spread of the disease.

In Paris, mask wearing had been limited to public transportation and indoor establishments, as it was in the rest of the country. But the requirement was extended to crowded outdoor areas about a week ago, and further expanded across many more swathes of the city over the weekend.

Prime Minister Jean Castex warned last week that the country had been going “the wrong way” for the past few weeks, and said he wanted “to extend as far as possible the obligation to wear masks in public spaces.”

The government’s reliance on face masks as a main weapon in its fight against the virus amounts to an about-face in its strategy. Early in the epidemic, faced with severe shortages of masks, the government said they were useless against the virus — contradicting its own longstanding public health policies.

“I didn’t find them coherent at all,’’ said Laura Castel, 31, a high school teacher. “In the beginning, it was, ‘Don’t wear masks, they’re not necessary.’ But that’s because we just didn’t have masks, in my opinion.’’

Now that France has more than sufficient supplies of masks, Ms. Castel said, the government was “singing a new tune.’’

Perhaps because of the government’s contradictory messages on masks, people were slow to start wearing them in newly mask-mandatory zones in Paris. Along stretches of the Seine over the weekend, only about half of pedestrians had their faces covered.

The police will be enforcing the measures — which will be in place for at least a month — with a fine of 135 euros, or $159.

In addition to masks and tests, France now has other tools that were unavailable at the start of the epidemic, including contact-tracing teams and a contact-tracing smartphone application — though neither have been fully tested yet.

As the French learn how to live with the virus, health officials have adapted by quickly moving to extinguish local outbreaks and tightening restrictions as needed. The goal is to prevent local clusters from spiraling out of control and pushing France again into a national lockdown.

Anthony Rasoloarimanana, 40, a travel agent who was walking under the elevated metro tracks of Boulevard de la Chapelle in northern Paris, a new mask-mandatory zone, said he was worried that the recent period of resurgence was similar to the one just before the lockdown in March.

“Have the sacrifices we’ve made over several months been for nothing?” he said of the lockdown. “That would be terrible.”

Théophile Larcher contributed reporting from Paris. Monika Pronczuk contributed reporting from Brussels.

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