#i’ll probably make more of these cause they’re my lil brain rot

[sofiaruelle]

Meet us at the Bus Stop~!

# a d (/s for joja)

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers BLOODY BOUQUET Vol.8 Mukami Yuma [Track 2]

Original title: 漆黒の花片

Source: Diabolik Lovers Bloody Bouquet Vol. 8 Mukami Yuma [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Tatsuhisa Suzuki

Translator’s note: I really enjoy the different approach in this CD. In pretty much all the other Bloody Bouquet CDs, the guy is there when the MC accepts the bouquet and pricks her finger. :p It’s funny how she almost gets away with hiding it in this one, if it wasn’t for the random dizzy spell telling Yuma what’s up. It definitely is cute how he’s so desperate to save her though. It’s gonna hurt my heart to see (or hear, more accurately) him suffer next track. T _ T Our farmer Vampire deserves better than that. 

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5

Track 2: Jet Black Petals

You open the door and find the bouquet of flowers.

*Rustle rustle*

You prick yourself when picking them up.

*Rustle*

“ーー Oi, Sow! Where the fuck are ya...!?”

You quickly throw the flowers away and close the door again.

*Thud*

“...Sow!!”

You walk up to Yuma.

“...Ah! Che...There ya are, huh? Geez...Ya sure had some nerve leavin’ right after I was satisfied. ...You bitch! Whatcha doin’ here at the entrance?”

You nearly collapse but he catches you just in time.

*THUD*

“...!! Oi!! Why did you collapse...? Anemia? Honestly, you’re such a weaklin’...”

*Rustle rustle*

“Guess it can’t be helped. Just hold onto me for now. ...There.”

*Rustle*

“...Ah, the fuck’s this? Black petals? ...Are these from roses? How did those get here?”

You explain.

“Hm? ...Ahー The delivery from earlier were flowers? So, where are the black roses in question? I don’t see them anywhere.”

You admit to throwing them away.

“Haah!? Ya threw them away? Why would ya waste them like that? ...Black roses are kinda rare, ya know? Also, tossin’ a gift straight into the trash doesn’t sound like somethin’ ya’d do.”

You nearly lose your balance again.

*Rustle*

“...Oi!! What’s wrong!? ...Fuck! Guess I’ll just carry ya to the bed for now...Heave-ho.”

*Rustle*

“...Say, did I really suck that much of yer blood? Is that why you’re feelin’ like this now? ...My bad. I won’t go overboard again, so if ya could properly push me away next time...”

You shake your head.

“...Ah? Then what’s causin’ this? That’s ‘bout the only thing I can think oーー”

You apologize.

“...Haah? ...What do you mean with ‘I’m sorry’...?”

*Rustle*

“...!! Oi! ...She lost consciousness? ...Fuck!”

Yuma carries you away to the bedroom.

*TIMESKIP*

*Tick-tock・Tick-tock Tick-tock*

“...Haah. Is this really gonna end well for her? Several days have passed, but rather than gettin’ better, I feel like her condition is only worsenin’...”

*Rustle*

“The symptoms seem kinda off for it to be anemia...? And the way she’s sufferin’ just seems abnormal? ...She refuses to tell me anythin’ as well. We should probably go to the hospitaーー”

Yuma gets sudden dizzy spells.

“...Ugh...! ...It hurts...! The fuck’s goin’ on...!? There’s a voice...echoin’ through my head...Kuh...!”

( Alongside a loud ringing inside my ears, I could feel my brain get shaken up. The voice echoing through my mind suddenly spoke the following words: “The throns of the black roses have put a permanent curse on her. Her blood will gradually begin to rot, becoming a poison which torments the immortal. This process can no longer be stopped. There is only one way to survive, to continue having the person she loves feast upon her blood. If not, the curse will surely become the end of her.” 

Che...Smells fishy. Under normal circumstances, I would have simply disregarded it as some shitty joke. It just sounds so unbelievable. However...those black roses which were delivered to us a few days ago, as well as her weakened state, I just couldn’t play it off as a lie. She might die at this rate...When I considered that, I was suddenly overcome by an intense feeling of fear. At the same time, anger welled up inside of me at once, upset at her for not telling me anything. Unable to keep standing around another second, I bolted towards the bedroom. )

Yuma bursts into the room.

*Thud*

“ーー The fuck’s this ‘bout, oi!?”

He rushes over to the bed.

*Rustle rustle*

“...Don’t be burdenin’ it all by yourself! Why didn’t you tell me anythin’...!?”

You flinch.

“That reaction...So you knew what those black roses did to ya, huh!?”

You explain to Yuma that it was written on a card that came with the bouquet.

“A card...?”

You tell him about the curse.

“A cursed message? ...Then why did ya keep quiet ‘bout somethin’ so important!? You hid the fact you were pricked by the thorn this whole time as weーー!”

You try and defend your decision. 

“Shut up! I don’t wanna hear yer lousy excuses!! Ya didn’t wanna bother me!? So what if ya die ‘cause of it, huh!? Havin’ ya die on me would affect me much more! ...Who do you think I am!?”

*THUD*

“...Can you not put faith in me? ...If it was Ruki, then maybe...Fuck!”

You apologize again.

“...Don’t apologize. Don’t be sayin’ sorry! That won’t lift the curse, will it!? ...We can still make it on time, right?”

*Rustle*

“Don’t move. I don’t plan on doin’ anythin’ horrible to you, really...You should know as well, right? Wasn’t it written on that card? Now that you’ve been affected by the poison, there’s only one way for ya to survive. Only through me suckin’ yer blood. ...Say, ya can no longer live on without my fangs, right? ...Perfect. Guess I just gotta do it then. I’ll break this curse somehow.”

You try and push him away.

*Rustle*

“Ugh...Ya don’t want my fangs? ...Don’t be fuckin’ ‘round! You’re mine, remember...!?”

*RIIIIIIP*

“Behave and lemme suck ya!”

Yuma bites you.

“Nn...Mmph...!?”

*Ba-dump*

“...Nnh...!? Kuh...! ...Haah! I-Is this...the poison...? Cough, cough...! ...They’re not playin’ ‘round, huh...? Haha...”

*Gulp*

“...Ugh...Haah, haah...Bring it on...I’ll blast that curse right outta ya.”

*Sluuuuurp*

“Haah, haah...! This stuff’s child’s play once ya get used to it. Ugh...”

*Sluuuuurp*

“Cough, cough...!”

*Rustle*

“...Shut up! Don’t get in my way!”

*Sluuuuurp*

“You’re actually acceptin’ my fangs, aren’t ya?”

*Gulp gulp*

“...Ugh...Fuck...Haah, haah...”

*Rustle*

“Don’t be runnin’...! Stop makin’ this even harder on me. ...Altho, I guess you’re already feelin’ a lil’ better if ya can fight back like that.”

You frown.

“...Ah? Should I not be worried? Am I breakin’ character? We proved it just now, no? Ya can survive if I suck yer blood. Haah...In that case...I’m obviously gonna save ya. Besides, we’re talkin’ ‘bout none other than your blood. I end up yearnin’ for it, even when I know it’s poison to me. I need it.” 

*Rustle*

“Come on, gimme yer hand.”

Yuma grabs hold of your wrist.

“Show me...Where did the thorn prick ya?”

*Rustle*

“Come on, which finger is it? If ya won’t tell me, I’ll just have to test them all out.”

You answer.

“...Such slender fingers. Mmh...”

*Sluuuuurp*

*Gulp*

“...Cough, cough...! ...Ah, did I hurt ya? But my bad, I can’t control my strength right now.”

*Sluuuuurp*

“Hang in there just a lil’ longer...Yer life’s on the line...Cough, cough...!”

You beg him to stop.

“...Shut up. I already said I wouldn’t stop, remember? Haah, haah, haah...Fuck. I can’t suck very well any more...Ugh...”

You get up from the bed.

*Creaaaak*

“...!! Oi, whatcha doin’...!?”

You suddenly dash away.

“Ah...!? O-Oi...!! Hold it right there...!!”

You leave the room.

“...Kuh!!”

*Rustle rustle*

“Fuck...My body won’t listen to me...But if I don’t catch her, she will...! Ugh...”

Yuma starts limping after you.

( ...She would surely leave me. I banished those words to the very back of my mind. Because I was scared that the moment I voice them out loud, they would become reality. Fearーー Such emotions should have long left me when I turned into a Vampire. I don’t want to lose something or someone again. With that desire, I chased after her. )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[tutubola-moved-on]

Hi I like music and I kind of go wayyy too deep into the TPN soundtrack and I think it's about time I start throwing my thoughts out there before they spiral too much

Disclaimer!!! This is not a complete analysis at all, just a few thoughts on each of the songs. I'll probably revisit some of them in future parts if I ever do those aha anyways enjoy

(Part 1/?): 63194, Emma's Sorrow, Emma's Determination, 22194, Norman's Lament, The Promise Between Humans and Demons, Jailbreak and Isabella's Lullaby.

(manga spoilers)

I've done a lil smth smth on Main Theme 2 already and its my favourite song like ever aha this is a cry for help

here you go people

but now anyways fr

63194 (Season 1)

Wouldn't have started with this one cuz I'm still figuring it out but it was the first one that came up when I pressed shuffle

Let's just go straight to the point so we can move on. The first time we hear 63194 is in episode 2, when Norman is talking to Ray about their plan in the forest (or, as I like to call it, "boat scene"). It reaches its climax when Norman starts talking about how he'll use himself to ensure the escape plan will work.

And then it's only used again in episode 8, if I'm not mistaken, after Isabella tells them about Norman's shipment, thus foreshadowing him refusing to escape and using his "death" as a tool to help the others escape.

But alsooo the song is Emma's theme, so there's definitely some sort of meaning other than foreshadowing Norman's shipment. That's for later though cuz I'll have to think more. The beginning does sound a lot like Strauss' Metamorphosen, a piece symbolising how German culture was destroyed during WW2. Not sure what to do with that info for now.

If you'd like a little extra stuff, I also tried connecting the pieces to the Doctrine of Affections, a... thing some Baroque composers wrote that connected music keys to feelings. (I found many sources but I used this one).

63194 is in C Minor, which is described as "innocently sad" (although another source said "sweet but sad") and "lovesick." I think innocence really describes Emma, Ray, and Norman in general, as kids who never did anything wrong but were thrown into the wrong world. Innocently sad would be their conversations in boat scene. They're talking about life or death, it's not something kids should have to deal with.

But again, it's hopeful. Norman wants to create a boat made out of mud---he wants to save everyone---and he really believes it'll work. So although sad, it's also sweet. It's a light at the end of the tunnel, and also just an act of kindness. As for "lovesick," that would just describe Ray and Emma's inevitable longing for Norman after he was gone. Which brings us to...

Emma's Sorrow (エマの悲しみ) (Season 1)

The two times I remember Emma's Sorrow played was 1) When they first talked to Don and Gilda about the house and 2) During the infirmary flashback scene.

The Doctrine of Affections describes E Minor as "grief and longing." In the infirmary flashback scene that obviously not only shows how Norman longs for that time when they didn't know anything and everything was light and happy but also, once again, foreshadows Emma eventually having to grieve him.

Especially because they don't play the staccato part (short quick notes) that's in the original version. Instead, the strings are always present. In staccato, the music gets pretty,,, lowkey? because the instruments can't exactly "show off," whereas the legato (long/connected notes) really shows the true importance and impact each individual instrument has on the song. Considering how the strings (specifically the violins) in the soundtrack could symbolise Norman, it's showing how Norman is not just another guy who's in their group and planning the escape, but an actual friend they'll lose and who'll leave a significant emptiness behind. Not only brain power wise, but just.. you know he's a human being and it's gonna hurt either way.

Not only that, but the harmonies itself in Emma's Sorrow once the strings really do come in are really incomplete. Like, the piano part seems to be all over the place, but it comes together because of the strings. Norman was the one who brought Emma and Ray together, in a way, and isn't Emma and Ray clashing exactly what Shirai wanted when he sent Norman away? Yea...

And Emma's Sorrow is, of course, parallel to:

Emma's Determination (エマの決定) (Season 1)

Yea no I'm still gathering thoughts on that one. The ascending bass contrasting the descending bass in Emma's Sorrow is pretty cool, though. It plays when Don is going off about how he wants to be strong after punching Ray and Norman and it's in F# Minor, so "passionate resentment." Connect both and Don really is ready to change the world. He got slapped with this very very bad reality and naturally he's angry and he's sad and he wants to do anything in his power to save people.

But back to Norman.

(hi future me here. oh my god why am i only talking about norman this was not the route this was originally going to take im so sorry i swear there's more to this post than just norman brain rot 22194 is the last norman one)

22194 (Season 1) and Norman's Lament (ノーマンの嘆き) (Season 2)

22194 is in B Minor, so "patience" and "walking towards fate." That's pretty self explanatory considering how he, and I quote, "chose death." Yea. G Minor would be "uneasiness of the future," and once again, pretty self explanatory (The whole Lambda seizures thing and I'm The Only One Who Can Save The Humans Syndrome. Normy worries too much :/)

Comparing both is pretty fun, too. It's the same melody but in different keys and instruments and thus just give off different feelings. While 22194 is full of instruments and harmonies and is clearly structured, Norman's Lament is just. Empty. It's like it's trying to stay true to 22194, so the Norman from before, but at the end of every musical sentence it just drifts off. You can see parts of 22194 in there, but it's not the same. At all.

There's also no harmony. He wants to do everything himself, and discards all his bonds and friends for that. So sad. Stop him.

All that while 22194 is rich and beautiful and oh my god i love that song so much and it's just showing how Norman was a lot more lively and layered and human when he allowed people to come into his life (the harmonies) and listened to those people instead of just locking himself up and doing everything himself.

So in conclusion cuz I ramble a lot, 22194 is about GF Norman, who hadn't gone through all those things that turned him "evil," who trusted his friends and believed everything had a good, ethic solution. Norman's Lament is about Lambda/post-Lambda Norman, who had gone through a whole lot, and was now in a downwards spiral and had left everything behind to become God or whatever, but was also in denial that he had changed in the first place.

does this make sense no idea i'm typing this while sleep deprived and high on bread and i failed english this quarter

but that aside

The Promise Between Humans and Demons (人間と鬼の約束)(Season 2)

I love this song!!!!!! So much!!!!!!!!! I love the percussion, it's used so well. And I love the way the song builds up and adds more and more instruments until it eventually reaches a climax, like the growing tension between the humans and the demons during the war that snowballed and snowballed and eventually caused both sides to resort to the Promise.

And when the song comes down you can hear a very short "first draft" ish version of Isabella's Lullaby.

It's as if yes, all this mess went down and the demons and humans made this huge promise that completely changed the world and affected an entire society but then far far away from the Seven Walls and the Promise and oblivious of the Ratri Clan and the demons were these two tiny tiny children just singing a song and living happily. And those children---and that song---were the foundation for the entire revolution that ended with the Promise. Wow.

And it's in D Major, D Major is "Triumphant." The song itself sounds triumphant, and yes the Promise was gross but it was a nice little hello kitty band aid over the mess that was the world before it.

What was truly triumphant, though, was the kids' escape, which happened to the same melodic theme, albeit in a different key. Which leads me to...

Prison Break (脱獄) (Season 1)

Oh my God. I love this song.

It symbolises the kids breaking ties with Isabella and how many obstacles were in the way (not only was she their mom; their only mom who had cared for them for their entire lives, but she was also their enemy and did everything she could to prevent them from escaping). The second the brass comes in with the theme (around 0:53) it sounds like it's struggling to play it fully. In this case, Isabella, once the singing parts, would have lost her voice after being outwitted by the children (keep in mind the song starts playing after they've already reached the wall). After all, the song starts with a voice that seems to get more and more desperate before it's overrun by instruments, thus losing its power.

So she's trying to control them and get them back, but they won't let her. They're going to break free. So you have the melodic theme playing with significant breaks, until eventually it all goes silent. Why? Because they escaped. Isabella completely lost contact with them, they're free. And then you get the same melodic theme in The Promise Between Humans and Demons.

But the theme isn't played full. It's not played to the extent that they play it in TPBDAH, instead there's a lot of just "blank space" with no melody above it: that's where the children will write their melody---their story; a story independent from the Promise that shaped their lives thus far.

AGH.

I need a break but I'll be back

Isabella's Lullaby (イサベラの唄)

OK OK Continuing on Isabella I love how Sarah Alainn sings like she's crying. I really recommend this if you want to go deep on Isabella's Lullaby, they pretty much said everything I had to say. I don't go on youtube like ever and that might as well be one of my favourite videos LOL anyways

I also really recommend listening to the no vocal/piano solo version, the harmonies are so beautiful. And the more you listen to it the more you hear, there's always something new. The violins especially oh I love the way Takahiro Obata uses violins. Honourable mention to Nat King Ballade (ナットキングバラード) and Each Thought (それぞれの想い) (idk if thats the english name for it,,,, i've seen it as "Their Own Thoughts" too)

WELL THEN. What a ride. I'll go to sleep now. If anything is incoherent or u just wanna talk then send me askies or a dm smth idk aha i like music but i hate grammar :P

[theblackbirdsgemimagines]

Ramble away, cause I feel the twisted head rot, I kinda wanna see what you think about our bois. ~ a pocket sized dragon hops in excitement.

A POCKET SIZED DWAGOOOOOONNNN 😭💞💞💞 That’s so BLESSED, and tysm omg, I’m very glad to just spill out my barking on every boy, bc yEAH THE BRAIN ROT SKDHAKDB

THE BRAIN ROT IS SO REAL LOL

Everything I breathe ends up relating to TWST in some way, like at this point just let me take my friends, cousins, and pets, and of course Lulu and Seb, and I will have 1. A Gottdamned Harem, 2. So Many Children, and 3. NEVER WANT TO LEAVE. Kwfhskdhjwek

Ok this is gonna be long bc I gotta cover all my boys, so rip lol.

Dorm Leads:

Riddle

GOD, my Fucking Baby, my CHILD, my SWEET BABY BOY, I’M 👁💧👄💧👁

I would die for him, beetch, he is PRECIOUS ♥️

He reminds me of how I feel Ciel would behave if S/O took the place as Sebastian’s contracee, too, so like 🥺 Lots of feels 😭

Is Son, I have adopted him now. If you mistreat him, don’t ever speak to me or my son ever again. I’ll FIGHT his MOM, don’t TEST me. I’m his new mom now. His BIRD mom. So proud of him, he’s like...one of the few that’s actually shown growth in canon after his overblot kshdkadjs

Leona

👁💧👄💧👁

.....I am a Mere Simp....

Ya’ll.... I swearh to ghOD I simped hard for Scar back when I was a wee thing, I did NOT expect to simp for him AGAIN LATER IN LIFE, what the FUCK aidhskdhskdj

Like shit bitch, damn, you may not be king of Afterglow honey, but you can be king of my heart if you wAnt to bb....

Leona: *smiles once, even if it’s smugly*

Me: *WEEPING* Look at hiiiiiiim!! My sunshine booooooy! 😭

Does this make me a furry

Probably

I am too Simp to Care Anymore

I HESITATED TO GET ATTACHED BC THIS BOY LOOKS LIKE A FUCKIN WOMANIZER IF I EVER SAW ONE, BUT HE DRINKS HIS RESPECT WOMEN JUICE EVERY SINGLE MORNING AND I WAS A GONNER SNDJAJDHSJ

FUCK

Call me a Herbivore again, bully me //SLAPPED

Azul

He secretly a lil shit sometimes, but tha’s ok, it’s mostly in a silly way, especially post overblot~ UvU

The sweetest bby everytime I read fanposts on him, like god, ah 💜💜💜 WHOMST COULD BULLY SUCH A CUTE CHUBBY OCTOBABY I’LL FIGHT ALL OF EM!! A sweetheart 10/10 would be his friend 💗 Not making contracts with him tho, lol

...ok maybe SOME after his overblot, but they’re able to be easily reversed now, so it’s way more chill andhsjdj

Kalim

FUCK!!!! F U C K!!!! BABYYYYYYY!!!! BABY!!!! I HAVE ADOPTED HIM IF YOU TOUCH HIM YOU D I E

He is literally so sweet, anytime anyone was like “you’re so nice it’s annoying” I WAS READY TO COME FLYING IN TO BITCH SLAP THEM LIKE AJDHSKDHSJ (even if I also loved them lol)

Like NO you are WRONG whfksjd

He has also grown so much, and I am proud ♥️🧡

Vil

Jesus Christ, canon Vil is Hurting Meeeeee ajdhskdhsj

My fave fanon Vil is the one that recognizes all different types of beauty, though~ uvu and is v encouraging to anyone that may be struggling with self hatred 💜

Canon: Vil is pretty~.

Me: Wow, wtf???? He IS so pretty... How rude I didn’t think you were serious! Wow him??? Pretty??? Wow??? Wow...

Idia

I’m not sure yet, as I haven’t seen him very often, but of the few times that I have: BIG same, huge mood, and Me FUCKING Too, goddamn akdhakdj

Idia is my Anxiety and Anime Nerd personified tbh lol

What Ortho is to him are what all my comfort characters are to me, honestly.

Like what would you like bby, you want that singing voice?? Ok here comes a synthesizer just special for you~. Ily, mwah~ u3u 💕

Malleus

HEAVY BREATHING

Ok maybe it’s just the lack of story/info out on him yet, but I don’t currently simp as hard for him compared to Leona, I’ll admit jajdkajd

BUT BOY HOWDEY DO I EVER STILL S I M P...

He Is Baby... And I Lob Him....

I am going to smooch those horns and forehead crown of beautiful scales 🖤🖤🖤 I am going to do it!!!! Here I go!!!

HE CAN HAVE ALL THE ICE CREAM AND TAMAGATCHI DATES HE WANTS I’M- 😭

This man is too precious for words, and I have so much childhood nostelgia to ‘enchanted’ woods, and being in the mountains, so he has Old Fae Friend vibes to me~🖤

DRAGON FORM DRAGON FORM DRAGON FORM DRAGON FORM DRAGON F-

Ngl I ship him and Leona a lil bit lol

No, not just bc that makes a poly with my two faves easier, but that is a bonus factor jadhajdj

Vice Dorm Heads:

Trey

Oh my god, the Daddy to my Mommy with all these newly adopted lil kids of ours, ya know??? What a wholesome sweetie and funny lil shit jahdksdh~

I love him, I would gladly make tarts with, AND for him 💚💚💚

The kind of boi who I’d ship HARD with anyone he started dating bc My God it would warm my heart So Much 💞💞

Ruggie (unofficial but may as well be at this point lol)

He took a while to grow on me kadhskdhsj

But I think he’d be a sweet, if a trouble-maker of a friend to have~.

Dank you for taking care of my sweet lion bby, honey, I’m sure Farrena is a sweetheart, but boi I hope he gets his shit together to fix up where Ruggie lives 😭

I think if I met his granny, I’d CRY jadhajsh 💗💗

Leech Twins (?)

Idk if they’re vice leaders, but who cares lol

THESE are the older Big Brothers in every sense of the word. (My canon ages most everyone up just a bit, save for Riddle, Ace, Deuce, Kalim, Jamil, Cheka, and anyone already 20+)

The ANNOYING older big brothers, lol.

The ones that hug you to death (Floyd), or use you for an arm rest (Jade), and specifically Do the thing you asked/told them NOT to Do.

This is fine with me tho, I’m an only child, please give me the experience of annoying older brothers lol 💙💚

Jamil

I used to hate you bby, I’m so sorry akdhskdhs

I’ve adopted him now, and I’m v proud he’s trying, but making clear what his boundaries are, and trying to come out of a shell he was made to be in for so long 😭

AND HIS DANCING IS SICK LIKE HONESTLY I’M SUCH A PROUD MOM 💗💗💗

Rook

God. FUCKING Rook, lol.

IDK IF I SHOULD TRUST YOU, but I also kinda wanna be your friend akdhakdjs

HE CONCERNS ME but he also seems nice and v sweet sometimes, lmao

Blz don’t stalk me tho 😬

STOP SHOOTING YOUR ARROWS AROUND SCHOOL YOU BLOODY HEATHEN FRENCH PRISS, YOU ARE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE

Also, if he DARES hunt cute animals around me, especially BIRDS, I am going to GRIP him jahdkahdsk

He’s like if Lord Druitt was a Little More Nice and a Little Bit Less Creepy ajdhak

Lilia:

GOD.

I LOVE THIS FUCKING GRANDPA.

I. FUCKING. LOVE. THIS FUCKING. GRANDPA.

I absolutely hc him as nonbinary w/masc pronouns, I absoLUTELY do.

I adore him, I love him, I haven’t gotten a squish (hardcore desire to be someone’s friend, lol) this hard for a character since AngelDust, I-

Pwease be nonbinary friends with me, Lilia 🥺

THE ONLY PERSON HERE SHORTER THAN ME, BUT I’LL TAKE IT AJDHAKDHJS

Anyone know Corpse and how he plays Among Us? That’s how I see Lilia playing his video games with friends and I JUST I JUST I J U S T

The Spencer to your Carly.

He and Crowley are free to compete as Dad with me too like honestly kshdkadjjs

He’ll always be granpa tho uvu 💚💖🖤

Extras:

Ace

God, the Fucking Annoying Middle Brother that pranks you ALL THE DAMN TIME, but I love him andhakdhsk

Deuce

THE BROTHER THAT WILL BEAT UP YOUR BULLIES 💙💙💙 SWEET BABY BOY

The Josh to Ace’s Drake. The Cody to Ace’s Zack. The Freddie to your Carly and Ace’s Sam.

If he and Ace started dating, tho, I would CRY.

But regardless who they end up dating, it’ll be slow burn friends to lovers, and literally the most adorable shit to watch EVER 💞💞💞😭

Cater

Seems Like A Womanizer But Actually Drinks His Reapect Women Juice And We Stan That 🧡

Can always count on him to help tou get the best Magicram shots, bless you Cater 🧡🧡

Also rly wanna be his friend, ngl 😭 Even IF he pranks me a lot kadhakdhsj

Jack:

H E AV Y BR EA T H IN G

Ngl my feelings for him are in the air IDK IF I WANNA SMOOCH OR NOT YET I JUST KNOW I LOB HIM HE GOODEST BESTEST BOY 💛💛💛😭

If all three Savannaclaw bois got in a cuddle pile with me, I would Not Be Mad

How can I give this boy love, tell me and I will Do It

Gift him all the cacti’s he WANTS💛

God he drinks that respecc women juice bright and early on his run every morning, you KNOW he does 💛💛💛

I wawnt to pet his ears an tail an fwuffy wolf form 😭

I WAWNT TO SEE THE BOY SMILE AND BE HAPPY 💞💞💞

Sebek

CHILL CHILL CHILL CHILL CH-

He is a v devoted guard tho, we love to see it UvU

I don’t have more info on him hekdhskdj but his fanmade content seems v v sweet~ 💚

Silver

HE ATTRACTS BIRDS AND I CRY ABOUT IT PLEASE BE MY FRIEND AND TEACH ME HOW 🥺🥺🥺

Him being raised by Lilia and Malleus literally gives me so much Fucking Seratonin....... God 💞💕💗💗💞💞💗💗💕💞

Ortho

IS BABY????? IS BABY!!!!!! I’M LOVE HIM I’M ADOPTING HIM IS BABYYYYYYY 💙💙💙💙💙

Cheka:

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

He is so FUCKING CUTE what the FUCK!

Leonaaaaaaa... 🥺 Your NEPHEWWWWW 😭

I might steal him from Farrena tbh, lIKE MY CHILD NOW~ 🧡🧡

I just sob and hug him every time I see him honestly 😭

Teachers:

Dire Crowley

Ohhhhhh god oh god oh god

Be my dad. Please. Be my dad. PLEASE be my dad. Ya’ll think I’m joking, I’m not. Please adopt me. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

This man as a father gives me so much dopamine and oxytocin and seratonin??? I have been weeping for WEEKS, please adopt me, Sir

Fathers with zero braincells being wrapped around a daughter’s little finger makes me so weak, and I am just here with Daddy Issues like ajdhakdhsj BLEASE ADOPT ME MISTER BIRD MAN

Crewel

Ew.

Forgive me, I haven’t seen much content with him in it/that could be considered wholesome, bUT JADHWKDJSJ

UncoMFORTABLE

Please keep the kink talk out of the classroom, S I R

Call me puppy one more time, see what happens, I’m not scared to fight a teacher akdhakdhsj

Trein

The Dad Figure that tries to be the stern part to Crowley’s blumbering kahdkqrhsjdj

Don’t feel as much attachment to him emotionally, but I like him~

Just let me pet your cat sometimes and give you holiday presents, and we’re cool~ ♥️

Vargas

Found the womanizer //SMACKED

And of course, I can’t forget Grim~!

He’s grown on me, and if anything happens to him I will kill everyone in the room, and then myself 😭

I will pet and snuggle and hold him all he wants and feed him all the tuna his heart desires uvu 💙

[movafuka]

BrainDump 03192019

I don't remember what this page was really supposed to be about but right now it seems like a great outlet for a 27 year old lady who has a tornado of thoughts splitting her head in a million fragments.  There seems to be a lot of things I want right now but hardly a thread of organization between them. I get glimmers of clarity where it feels like the path is clear and I’m able to take a deep breath but in an instant it disappears with a spark of anxiety and jolts me back into my familiar tizzy. 

I guess I could go about making lists..break them down into 

- Things I want

and 

-Things that I feel like I’m supposed to want

That’s part of where my confusion lies.

I feel pressure to be running around the world, having a *cool* job, having a six pack, a semi serious relationship with an attractive partner, an apartment, time in my day to meditate, exercise, take vitamins, write, read. I’m at a point where I’m beginning to realize that my desire for all of these things all at once is probably derived from intaking so much social media. It’s no secret that people only share the absolute best moments of their lives on their feeds. My brain can process that. The issue at hand is seeing roughly 700 peoples best moments of their lives displayed daily that causes you to have a fucking mental breakdown. So many heightened, glorified moments with images of cute dogs, weddings, travels, cool jobs---no one has it all..and my cute little tiny brain can't compute it.

I need a break from social media. facebook, instagram, youtube.

I’d love for my spare time to be spent ranting into the abyss like this. 

End of thought.

New thought:

Some Goals or things I’d enjoy:

-Woodworking; building garden beds -Volunteering; non-profit or even at Zenger or with the Noble Rot rooftop guy -I’d love to fucking work for Ecotrust but it looks like they're hiring for different positions now -A trip to see some friends in NY -Practice a lil bit of yoga -I’d fucking love to learn how to bake bread -Start therapy and hopefully shorten this list a little... -Create a more poignant blog of my own curiosities -Americorps? -It would also be really wonderful to get a certificate in grant writing..or GIS

I’ll come back to this later..but my head feels a little lighter

thanks,

hzr