#i’ll take my crumbs of lore and be happy with it

[imaginespazzi]

Hi so like I was watching old videos of Paige and Azzi coz we don’t have contents the past few days 😭 anyways I just wanna share it to you since you’re my fave here and you understand our deluluness 😂 so here it is, I was watching Day In The Life of Paige and at 4:36 there’s a Pazzi picture at Paige’s desk in her room. There’s also one before that at the posters in the living room. I’ll take that crumbs. Gosh I just love them so much. And also the other night I watched the blog of one of Paige’s high school teammate and it’s the Hopkins Banquet after they won the State Championship and I was just watching it normally coz it’s the team and their families and I just screamed (quietly if this even makes sense) in my room when I saw Azzi there. I was not even expecting her. Like I’m sorry this is too long already but like I don’t think I’m gonna get over them anytime soon (and I’m not even complaining) 😂I just want what they have 🥺 I’m so happy for them that they met their person at a very young age. I hope they get to stay together forever.

Wait omg bestie, this is lore I didn't know actually. Guess I don't pay as much attention to detail as I originally thought I did. I love the little crumbs you can find through videos of them, it's like a little mystery we're all solving.

Do you potentially wanna send me the links for these though babes?

[fakish-audacity]

Okay beyond just that INCREDIBLE confession from Mr. O’Brien about our favorite halfling’s feelings, this was such a delicious episode of 4SD I’m so happy I decided to watch it live tonight instead of waiting!

The world building discussions and lore discussions from Matt and Aabria were so fun to listen to, especially with Aabria discussing the dunamancy and luxon elements that were revealed in episode 93 (92?). I was absolutely whisper-yelling “I am IN LOVE with you” to my computer screen during that. Because MMM I love me some dunamancy lore.

Also unpacking character arcs and choices, there were some really great tower questions pulled tonight AND amazing deep dive questions. I was genuinely hanging on to every word! The discussion on how real life affects game-play and story creation from both a player and a GM perspective was SOOO GOOD, especially intertwining culture or lack of culture!

Like when Matt was explaining some of the inspiration behind Ruidus and that aspect of eternally reflecting and warping elements of Exandria, and Aimee asking these amazing follow up questions UGH I love this show so much. Also I just love anything Moon Lore I will take any crumbs as if it were a feast.

Anyways this has just been me rambling to the void about 4-sided dive and critical role. So much more I could talk about but I’ll end it there LMAO.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hehe..... ari.......... i am already here...... knife and fork in hand............... gimme food gimme lore. how did you and mister sweetheart mister laios mister oblivious meet?????? was it a meet-cute, or a meet-ugly perhaps???? like an accidental meet-ugly????? he bumped into you and spilled his food all over you???? i could see that i think it would be qwfully cute actually:333 anyway hehehehe please indulge me i really wanna know more abt the two of you!!!! - @teddybeartoji

MICKEY . you work fast ……. i have to respect it…….. BUT WAHHHH THIS MADE MY BRAIN SPIN SO FAST :(((((((( sniffle . i love him. I HAVE MANY THOUGHTSS pls bear with me my sweet sunflower…….

here is a snack for you while you read :33 🥪 and a kiss on the cheek. mwah!!

OKAY SO . i’m very fond of the meet-ugly idea….. thank you for the free lore i’m a tiny pigeon eating crumbs straight from ur hand 🐦🐦 NO BC. it feels so fitting doesn’t it…… a pair of losers stumbling into each other’s lives………. we’re both at some adventurer’s restaurant stop and i trip over his foot and drop my plate of food . and he apologizes. and i’m like . ah . he’s cute. (puppydog effect 💔)………. and i end up joining his party somehow. i don’t think it’d take a lot of convincing tbh i’m susceptible to manipulation and peer pressure at any given moment 🙏🙏 maybe it’s like… right after the falin thing. and they’re desperate to fill up their party. and i’m just like . okay yeah. bc i wanna see the dragon + laios has bewitched me 😔😔

….. actually this got me thinking abt . what kind of adventurer i’d be …. and as much as i love & adore playing as the knight-esque sword guy when it comes to rpgs….. realistically i feel like i’d be a magic user …. or a bowman ….. or a rogue like chilchuck . a bard ??? 👀 maybe ????? ANYWAYYYY that’s not important i just think it’s fun 2 think abt :333 (which class do u think you’d be mickey 🎤🎤 i need to know!!!!)

AND THEN . yeah. i’m just….. crushing on him. i think. and the more i get to know him the more i’m like. i need him to be happy. i need him to succeed. i want to stay by his side . etcetc…… down horrendous in other words <///3 and he’s just so oblivious yk???? marcille and chilchuck get it immediately and they’re both like . my condolences. he’s happily married to monsterkind 😐😐

BUT LAIOS IS JUST . he’s just so caring….. yk……….. makes me food and pats my head and drapes a blanket over me when i get sleepy . ik i’ve already said it but!!!! i rlly do see arilaio as a black cat/golden retriever kinda deal…… w me being . very eepy all the time . a little grumpy. i just feel like that side of me would peek out around him bc he’s big and safe and warm :3 i’m normal abt him btw .

i’m already starting to get 2 into it so i’ll stop myself BUT. i do also wanna say!!!! this is . a yapper/yapper dynamic…….. bc i feel like we’re both good listeners. but also yap a horrific amount when it comes to smth we love 😭😭 yk how he is abt monsters….. i’d be the exact same way but like . w books. or games. or whatever. so it’s just him teaching me abt monsters while i look up at him w hearts in my eyes + me rambling abt smth or another while he gives me Intense Eye Contact and asks follow up questions <3333333 OK I’M DONE . he just. he is….. the way he is . which is perfect . 😔😔

anyway !!!!! THANK YOU SM FOR THE QUESTION MICKEY….. 🥺🥺🥺 you’re the sweetest little guy ever and i hope you know i love you <3 i hope you’re resting a lot and soaking up the sunlight!!!! and i hope you sleep so well tonight :3 i’m tucking you gently into bed as we speak!!! bringing you extra blankets and fluffy pillows and a big cup of jasmine tea <33333

this is literally arimickey + laios btw <333333

[fyodior]

*cough*…dearest flora, I’m on my knees begging you for more son!fedya (smut) thoughts…spare crumbs, please…

only bc u begged <3

CONTENT WARNING: this is mom/son incest. obvi very dark content. this (+ any other DC i write) has absolutely no reflection on my real life values or desires or anything at all. this is fiction. if you dont like it just block or unfollow and leave the mean comments to urself! ok thanks bye

*another disclaimer: every single sexual/“romantic” thing that occurred between reader and fyodor occurred after he turned 18

here’s a diff ask that asked some good questions i want to expand on hehe

yes fedya and reader have def done things before!! that was just the first time they’d had penetrative sex. i hc’ed that you’d basically done everything except penetrative - in my head it started out as first an innocent handjob, then blowjobs, and you’d eventually even fingered him and used dildos/other sex toys with him, in similar scenarios of the fic: calming him down (whether it was genuine anxiety/panic or otherwise) or just doing whatever to make your boy happy <3 after a while he begged you to let him finger you, eat you out, etc etc

and now i’ll kind of talk about the “lore” that i developed with my lovely friend faraday @verlaines-corner. it’s slightly insane but just hold on dslkfjklsdf

so in this AU, fyodor accidentally killed his dad, your husband, when his ability first developed when he was young. it was a complete and total freak accident, he had no idea about his ability, but obviously this took an incredible toll on both him and you. he required immense emotional support from you because you were the only one who knew without a doubt that he didn’t mean to do it (even his therapists were a little bit on the fence), and you in turn needed fyodor because he was all you had left of your little family. this was how the incredibly unhealthy, codependent relationship bloomed.

you went out of your way to do anything and everything that would make fyodor happy to keep him from feeling the debilitating guilt of killing his dad and your husband, which fyodor slowly realized he very easily could take advantage of. that’s where the reader’s “obliviousness” comes from. it’s not that you’re a fucking idiot, you just have devoted so much of your life to keeping him happy, and he manipulated you into doing so. and the way you ended up coping with your grief was tunneling all of your feelings into protecting and taking care of fyodor.

so when it came to him asking for sexual favors, you were obviously uneasy at first, but it also felt like. just another day, just another task that would make him smile and in some weird twisted way had become a fucked up coping mechanism for you. in short all of this is just an insane trauma bond that spiraled into incest <3

now i know you guys came here for smutty thoughts and not just my unnecessary world building so i’ll provide some of that as well 💀

fyodor loves eating you out. so fucking much. he loves sneaking into your bed and between your legs at night so he can dip his tongue into your cunt and taste you, deep into your hole so he can feel the way you clench around his tongue. he can’t help but feel like every single part of you was made just for him, to feed him, and that obviously included your pussy. it made sense that your juices were one of his favorite things to drink, because again. you were made for him

speaking of drinking. this goes without fuckin saying but he loves nursing more than fucking anything on this planet. he loves being curled up in your lap as you hug him close, suckling on your hard nipple as he whines and whimpers, pawing at and kneading your other tit. this isn’t even sexual for you because he’s done it his whole life. he never grew out of the need for that type of closeness, that type of mother son intimacy. and when he sleeps with you at night, it’s not uncommon for you to have to pry him off your boob after he’s fallen asleep and slip some sort of pacifier in his mouth to not wake him up and upset him, because sometimes the only way he can drift off is by suckling.

once he gets that first taste of fucking you, he goes fucking crazy about it and wants to have sex ALL the time. all he can ever think about is how it felt to have your pussy wrapped tight and pulsing around his throbbing cock, he would beg for you to let him fuck you all the time. you’ll just be on the couch reading a book with your legs spread, either on your stomach or your back, as you let him fuck your hole as many times as he wants, as much while satiate him and keep him happy.

anyway. those are my thoughts on son!fedya. teehee

[wrecking-man]

Komi 342: Knight

Final thoughts:

I’d first like to start off by stating I really wish I could go into chapters like this completely blind to give a more authentic(?) reaction, but unfortunately (well, in this case it’s unfortunate), I am honor-bound to the task of helping moderate the (unofficial, of course) Komi-san discord server... And since I check in on the channels where discussions about the manga are had... I kind of have a general idea what happens before I even open the chapter.

Where to start...? Well... This chapter was a bit sad, honestly speaking. I really feel for Kishi. I want her to be happy, damn it!!! She just wants to be Komi’s knight! That’s so cute and wholesome! She’s a good girl!

I am beyond grateful for all of the Kishi lore bestowed upon us by Oda on this day. As a Kishi enjoyer, I assure you that I am eating it all up and leaving not a crumb to go to waste. Not only the lore, but we were even given so many good facial expressions! We really had a Kishi banquet this chapter and I am not at all one to complain about that. Seemingly the next chapter is no different in that regard.

The lore. We’re given a few hints at Kishi’s upbringing. First of all, she’s been trained in various forms of combat since she was young (how young though???)... Kendo, judo, karate, and fencing... How fucking awesome is that?! She can even ride a horse. Well, that one is not too surprising considering knights rode horses... At least some of them did...

Oh, and she’s also part of the volleyball team on top of all that... I wanna see her play. Does she have to take off her armor to play? I’d imagine so. Is her armor real? Would it puncture the ball? Or is it purely aesthetic?

There’s still a few puzzle pieces missing here and there, but hopefully we’ll get those filled in at a later date.

At any rate though, it looks like my theory from a while back about her having bones prone to fracturing/breaking was incorrect. Well that’s good though. I’m glad to be wrong about that. I guess she just simply likes wearing armor because she wants to be a knight... Komi’s knight... Sigh...

Komi doesn’t want Kishi to get hurt while protecting her... Of course she doesn’t... Komi is such a sweetie. They’re all so wholesome and cute and sweet. I love them all... Ahem...

Poor Kishi though. Komi asks her to stop protecting her, but being Komi’s knight and bodyguard is all she seems to want to do. That’s like her purpose in life at the moment.

Let her do it, Komi! C’mon!! To be honest, she does need Kishi’s help considering how down horrendous Yamai is. Not to mention the cultists would also feel emboldened once they realize Kishi isn’t protecting Komi anymore...

So much can go wrong if Kishi were to just stop. Tadano may well end up buried in the mountains after all...

Speaking of Tadano. On a lighter note, Kishi has recognized him as Komi’s knight! Heck yes! Respect paid.

Anyways, the chapter was good... Really good... But I can’t help but pine for the next chapter where this... issue(?)... gets resolved. Or at least I hope it will be resolved next chapter. I’m actually going into this next one with far less of a clue what happens in it since it came out while I was busy with work.

I know I said I would do 343 today as well if it were already out... and it is... but I’m tired, so I’m gonna sleep early instead.

I’ll do it when I wake up since I don’t have to work tonight. Or at least I’ll try to. It may still take several hours after me waking up because, well... I’m bad at keeping a schedule like that. ADHD and all.

[scrawnytreedemon]

Shit I’ve Been Winding Up For A Long Time Now But Am Very Aware Will Probably Hold No Relevance Should I Actually Go Into This More--

This is about Bhunivelze.

I.

You know, when I was chilling out, on my bed, that evening on that half term in early June, deciding to check up on ClementJ64′s FF retrospective because-- Hey! It’s been awhile, I wonder if he’s got around to doing the final bit of the FFXIII saga --You know, I was there, chilling, just for a laff. Just a laff.

The rest of that week was spent spiralling into a hyperfixation I absolutely did not anticipate in any way, shape, or form, because the way they introduced that character was “wwhdhfjjhHJDFJKHKJHW H A T??”

That retrospective and a good amount of wiki-scrounging is all I have as a basis for this. This is not a coherent character analysis-- Though I might tag it as that for ease of access. This is not, by any means, the thoughts of someone deeply familiar with FFXIII on the whole beyond plot synopses and overarching themes.

I don’t think I’m brave enough for that.

Reading the vast yet surface-deep lore on those wiki pages on my birthday while in a delirious state of mind was enough to make me somewhat nauseous.

Do you think I’m going to go through all of that in real time?

(Someday, someday.)

Ugh, I don’t know how to begin, but let us, I guess. I’d recommend you read this church-mime-demiurge’s FF Wiki page if you want the same level of base-knowledge I had, and maybe the aformentioned retrospective if you want the experience, because I don’t think I have the wherewithal to get into all of that from the bottom-up.

I am also, so, so fucking sorry for any remaining FFXIII fans in advance. There is like, a good chance I may be butchering the characterisation completely, so bear with me here.

With that... we begin?

Where do we even start with this guy?

How on earth to you begin to explain the absolute monolith you’ve constructed from crumbs of a Guy, some material no doubt spliced in from the Pale King, Sephiroth, y o u r  o w n  G o d  O C and other characters, and the mountains of religious trauma you carry around at all times that is probably the only reason you’ve been able to latch on as hard as you did?

I’m going to try.

What gets me, in summary, about Bhunivelze is how he’s a prime example of how love and concern can become deadly forces if in the wrong hands. His first acquainting with human emotion was by deceiving and possessing Hope, reverting his body to a teenage state, and planning to live among humanity through him. He sees human sorrow and suffering, and decides that, to End This(because it must be ended, you see) he’s going to destroy all the souls of the deceased that make up the Chaos that’s been eating this world for the past five-hundred years so they all forget and Are Happy. :).

Capital G God here hasn’t been present for the vast part of human history because he’s hidden himself away from Everything due to paranoia from killing his own mother and throwing her body into the Cosmic Basement, THEN creating the beings that would come to create humanity and OTHER beings because he didn’t have the keys to the cosmic basement. And also he believes death is a thing because she’d’ve somehow cursed all things to pass(including him) out of Spite.

Which explains why he’s so fucking averse to it and anything to do with it.

Bhunivelze, to put it lightly, is Shit at stepping into others’ shoes and Getting their experiences-- All the FalCie in FFXIII are, but him especially. It’s clear(again, in the f u c k i n g JP--) that he makes attempts to sympathise with them and does what he can to help, but it’s with such a loftiness and a complete inability to Understand why anyone would want grief, The Worst Fucking Experience In Existence, and even less why they’d be willing to Go Up Against Him And HisThe New Perfect World just for it-- And what would it matter, anyway, forgetting their loved ones. It’s not like you can grieve lost memories, right?

Right.

It reminds me of when at the end of the story of Job in the Bible, where, after putting this man through hell on earth, God rewards Job by giving him ten new children to make up for the ones that he lost. I. And that’s fucked! Nothing can replace the sheer uniqueness of each individual person you loved so dearly! But if you were a nigh-omnipotent deity high and mighty, with a cursory, almost mechanical knowledge on the functionings of the human psyche, that would seem adequete; enough.

Bhunivelze is doing that on a cosmic level.

I now want to get onto the romance: that being, his affections for Lightning. I don’t know how much I’m going to say, but it’ll probably be alot. It’s something that hits very close to home.

There is this... thing, within certain branches of Christianity, perhaps even in those of various Abrahamic faiths, where God’s love is posited to be the love-- The ultimate, most-fulfilling, all-encompassing love you could ever imagine --Because, well, he is love, so the story goes, and so often the best way to convey that is through the imagery of...

Marriage.

Giving up yourself so completely, to serve, to be the Bride; to be bound by him for all eternity; and for there to be no higher bliss than this.

This angle is pushed on young girls and women the most; from the mere parallels to the woman’s role in marriage, all the way down to downright-horrifying ultra-Evangelical purity pacts. With men, God is your dad, your best bud and confidant, your boss, your king, your this, your that, and the ‘marriage‘ as it were is relegated to a sort of half-thought; a metaphor.

For me, God was an attempt at all that, and my arranged groom.

(It was almost incestuous; was incestuous, that my own Divine Father would reach for my hand in marriage.)

Bhunivelze experiences Emotions™ for the first time through Hope, experiences Hope’s sheer overwhelming admiration for Lighting(whether there were any baby-crush feelings mixed in, I can’t say), and promptly falls into a nigh-romantic obsession with Lightning, deciding that she will be Etro(his all-but daughter)’s replacement, will be his Goddess of Death to-be-- He even calls her as such, before the final boss-battle--

...In the JP.

What happened in localisation, probably due to a number of factors, all the way back in early 2014, was that everything emotionally challenging about Bhunivelze was scraped off, like it was extra fat, and tossed aside, leaving us with the bland, clichéd shell of a foe-god we’ve seen time and time again. And I mean everything. I mean his very love for humanity; the fact his ploy was, in his eyes, to save them. Because if they’d left that all on, then it would raise the question of even if there was such a seemingly pure, all-knowing, loving being hell-bent on setting things “straight,“ would they truly be unquestionable? Would we have the right to fight for our humanity in the face of the Creator of the Universe?

To reject a love so personal?

That’s what gets me about FFXIII’s tackling of God, no matter how hackneyed and poorly-executed. It’s personal.

It’s from a feminine experience.

I know that terming is... vague, and problematic, but the way Christianity and much of the video game industry handle femininity itself is weird and problematic, so as it stands, I’ll have to simplify it. Apologies.

What sets FFXIII’s Let’s Kill God™ plot aside from most JRPG Let’s Kill God™ plots is that with our protagonist being a woman, and one who is very in touch with her femininity alongside her sheer strength; often, in these stories, God is reduced to Yet Another Foe, expected or unexpected, and you are tasked with taking him down unquestioningly for the Good of Mankind-- You will fight God, because you are right to, and you will go man-to-man-to-however-many-men you decide to bring along for the bloodbath.

And that just, doesn’t speak to me.

Even as an Extian.

Especially as an Extian. And an AFAB one with a deeply complicated experience with my gender, at that.

Leaving Christianity was painful. Questioning God was painful. Coming to terms with the fact that I had been mentally, emotionally, and spiritually traumatised under the guise of All-Encompassing Love was so, so fucking painful. I had been taught since I was five years old to devote myself to him, spent my life desperate to feel something, anything, to stay connected because I just, I never could Feel It on a deeper level, never could Give Up Myself, all I was, couldn’t Die A Spiritual Death And Be Reborn As His Eager Vessel, thus deeming myself to be worthless and a broken vessel for years and years on end... And for all that to have been... Nothing.

Lightning is hollowed out, the shards of her dead sister ripped from her in-stasis, leaving her emotionally numb for the majority of the game, Bhunivelze sweeps it under the rug, pretends he’ll perform a miracle and return Serah to life in exchange for her compliance, then sends her on her way to do his work, all the while knowing he’s going to pull said-rug from under her and elevate her such dizzying heights in the aftermath--

That he’ll deny her humanity.

Sand down all the rough edges that make her her, and polish her up afterwards, gild her as he is gilded, make her a Goddess.

And he’ll do it all because he loves her.

You can’t fight God like you can everything else. To fight It is the fight Existence Itself; FFXIII even conveys that by making Bhunivelze’s model part of the arena; it’s baked into the fabric of the game, no matter how minute.

While Lightning Returns is far from perfect in its execution of this concept, and that in itself makes me wince, not even taking into account the horribly botched excuse for a localisation Bhunivelze endured, it speaks to me more than anything else I’ve seen so far.

And it’s helped uncover some things within me. Helped me untangle them, just a little more.

So, yeah. I have alot of Thoughts on Bhunivelze, I want to share them, and I’m kinda really sad I have no one but my currently-absent friend Vee to share them with. I could get into alot more, like his very Fucked relationship with familial bonds, and how Lightning’s role as saviour so deeply parallels the overwhelming panic and never-ending guilt of Evangelical proselytisation, but I think I’ll leave those for another time.

In short, Bhunivelze is the epitome of Divine Love gone deeply wrong; on all fronts.

And if all of that isn’t enough to intrigue you, then, in Vee’s words, Lightning and Velze are literally canon endgame Sefikura lmaOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--

[sheikah]

Hello! I'm sorry to ask this, but can you explain what spoilers you mean and the thing with Darklina? I just read the first book in the series; only managed to finish it because of The Darkling - love him. But I stopped reading the series/world after that one. So I'm a bit unsure if you mean spoilers regarding the books or the show? I'm a little late to the part. Reason for asking as an anon is because I got blocked by another when I asked a question about The Darkling...

Wow, someone blocked you for asking a question about the Darkling? I honestly don’t know how some people get through life being this sensitive haha... Relatively speaking he’s far from the worst villain out there??? 

Anyway, sorry it took so long to answer this. I wanted to get some distance from the spoilers so my answer wouldn’t be so emotional haha. Spoilers for ROW under the cut. Also, since you say you’ve just read the first book, I’ll be making brief mention of key plot moments from Siege and Storm and Ruin and Rising as well, so those would be spoiled for you, anon!

We don’t have all of Rule of Wolves yet, obviously, but people with early review copies posted photographs of pages on Twitter, and I’ll link them below

From those pages, we can gather the following:

The Darkling (as we know from the ending of King of Scars) has returned in Yuri’s body but basically looks and sounds like his old self.

A darkness/blight much like the Fold is spreading and killing. Nikolai and Zoya need the Darkling’s help with combatting it because of his magical power/past experience with merzost.

In the early parts of the book they keep him prisoner in a cell flooded with sunlight to prevent him from summoning shadows.

At some point during the story they trust him enough to release him. They bargain with him. He will help them in exchange for a meeting with Alina Starkov. Bear in mind that prior to this Alina would have assumed him dead.

They are concerned by this request but they agree. In the Darkling’s POV he muses that he needs to meet with her to “get his power back” or something. Not sure how this make sense since Alina lost her own powers. 

Anyway, so far, none of the above bothers me at all. But then...

When they meet with Alina it’s one of the most bizarre and OOC encounters I could imagine. Mal is there, and the Darkling randomly, out of nowhere, comments on how they’re related and Mal is like “lol we all hate our relatives amirite???”

Alina’s reaction to seeing the Darkling again is... no reaction at all. She doesn’t seem shocked, happy, upset, nothing. This man who loomed so large in her life and her destiny, this man she was forced to murder in Ruin and Rising... is BACK FROM THE DEAD, and everyone is just sitting around like it’s afternoon tea.

The Darkling looks at her and comments that she looks different. Here is the first thing to really and truly pisses me off: Alina says the reason she looks different is because she’s happy now and “[he] never really saw her that way.” As in, Alina was never once happy around the Darkling. If you just read Shadow and Bone, you know this is obviously not even remotely true. But it isn’t treated like a lie from Alina in the narrative. It’s treated like the truth the big, bad Darkling deserves to hear from her. 

Eventually they come to an agreement and the Darkling agrees to help at the cost of his own life. [Here is where I want to interject something. I’ve seen a lot of people insinuate that Darkling stans are upset because Leigh killed the villain of her story. In other words, they’re suggesting that we’re stupid for being upset because obviously villains die. I just want to say for the record that I 100% expected the Darkling to die in Rule of Wolves. That is not the issue here.]

Before the Darkling sacrifices himself (something that is, at least, somewhat framed as a selfless act to save Grisha and Ravkans), some truly odd writing from Leigh. First, he tells a whole bunch of people his real name. No one asked??? He just tells everyone. A lot of Darklinas are angry because prior to this, his name was a secret only known by Alina. It was something they shared, an intimacy, and it was significant because in “Demon in the Wood,” the Darkling’s backstory, we see the target his true name put on his back all his life, and that Baghra cautioned him to tell no one. So him telling Alina was a gesture of trust. Him telling everyone destroys that.

The second weird thing about the death scene is that he basically screams something along the lines of, “I’m not sorry.” Again, this feels so weird. Like deliberate spite from Leigh. Making sure not to redeem him before killing him off.

So I don’t know all the magical/lore details, but when the Darkling sacrifices himself it is in some ritual where his body is pierced and mutilated by a bunch of magical tree branches??? Supposedly he will continue to exist this way in some sort of eternal super-hell where he just suffers in pain without dying forever, all to keep the darkness from spreading. Zoya and Nikolai bear witness.

This last part is the part that upsets me the most, more than anything else I guess. So later, at the end of the book, Zoya is with Genya and Alina. Zoya reveals that she’s been having nightmares wherein she sees things from the Darkling’s point of view--destryoing Novokribirsk, etc. She realizes how easy it could be to lose yourself with the kind of power the Darkling--and now Zoya herself--possesses. She wonders if he really deserves this eternal and unimaginable suffering and torture. Zoya proposes letting him out to mercy kill him. Genya and Alina are doubtful, but even Genya is swayed before Alina is. And this is the heart of the issue for me. Zoya, who loathes the Darkling more than anyone, is the one having mercy and taking pity on him, while Alina is utterly apathetic to his suffering. Alina, who wept openly over his body and held him as he died. Alina, who honored his last wishes and saw to it that he had a funeral of honor alongside what the people believed to be a literal saint in Ruin and Rising. Alina, who struggled with wanting and feeling for him all the way to the end of the trilogy, whose last word in the trilogy was his name. Alina, who had compassion for the animals she had to kill for the amplifiers. That is Alina Starkov. But the Alina Starkov in Rule of Wolves is completely unaffected when this man she seemingly used to love is being tortured literally forever. She couldn’t care less. And so all of this together feels like a deliberate slight to Darklinas, and that’s why we’re angry. 

Anyway, Alina eventually agrees that the Darkling can be freed and killed, so Zoya says they’re going to replace the Darkling with the relic heart of a saint or something, and hire Kaz to steal it. So SOC3 is coming.

We did get one tiny crumb of Darklina. In the Darkling’s POV, he admits to himself that the real reason he wants to see Alina again is because “with her, he was human again.” He also ponders on why she was always able to defeat him and best him, and thinks that it’s because of something more than her stubbornness and bravery: “something he knew the name of a hundred lifetimes ago.” Most people are interpreting this as him finally admitting to himself that he loved her. It’s something!

Pics for reference.

[ask-demon-prosciutto]

2 Years of ask-demon-prosciutto

((Well, it’s this blog’s 2 year anniversary. Probably not something to really celebrate considering how little content I’ve made, but that’s not why I’m posting about it. I’m talking about it because I want to make this milestone a comeback after all these months of dicking around. I’ve been planning this for quite a while, actually. I can’t remember how long I have, though maybe it’ll come to me later on (I’ve been up for an unnecessarily long time at the time of writing this). And now, the day that I planned would mark my return has come. And with new-ish beginnings come some pretty hefty changes. I of course didn’t get as much as I wanted to done, but it’s better than me holding onto an ask for several months just to give a shitty text response I suppose!

Okay, actually onto the updates:

General Changes

First off, we have completely new profile picture! I made this back in November, so I can safely say I’ve at least been working on this whole reboot since then! But yeah, I think this blog’s been LONG overdue for some new avatar flesh, especially considering...

Prosciutto Got a Redesign!

I’ve been teasing this for a while now, but now you guys get to see it in full, not only in the pinned post, but also... Here!

...I will admit he hasn’t changed as much as I wanted him to, but I’m still happy with how he turned out. I hope you guys are as well!

And for the record, I’m going to try to make new reference sheets like this for everyone else later on. I wanted to before today, but well... You know me (I was also occupied with other drawings).

New Pinned Post

I got a whole-ass new pinned post now! It features some new artwork, my inbox status, the Carrd, and some other things I’ll bring up down below. If you missed something important, you can probably find it in that post.

Carrd Updates

The Carrd’s gotten a pretty heft update since I last edited it! Changes include:

+Pretty much all of the text got rewritten or edited. Some sections were changed more than others.

+The Carrd overall now has a new aesthetic: The white/purple gradient was replaced with an orange/dark red one, a purple border was added, and the header image was changed to the new pfp + its size has been increased.

+Characters pages got a slight aesthetic overhaul too. Symbols corresponding to each character-minus Microorganism Pros- were added besides their names, and their subtitles/epithets were made bigger. The white dividers that went under each name were also removed because today I discovered that Carrds have a limited number of elements you can use if you don’t have their membership. Fun! I managed to free up some space, though they probably won’t be coming back knowing that there will be more elements needed as I introduce more characters.

+Also regarding characters, Illuso has been added to the roster of characters you can ask! With that, he has his own page now where you can gather come lore crumbs tm.

+Removed the tag guide page because I didn’t think it was necessary. Most of the tags have their meaning in parenthesis and/or are self-explantory. I also needed the element space, as discussed above. If people want it, however, I’ll bring the tag guide back, though it won’t be on the Carrd.

Speaking of that conflict regarding the limited elements, I’m considering moving everything over to a website now that I know of this. The Carrd I currently have is really beefy, and it’s only going to get even more stuffed as time goes on. I don’t think I’ll be able to fit everything I want to put on there, which is why I’m looking to find a good website maker, preferably one that doesn’t limit how much content you can put on one. I’ll be taking any suggestions given for the time being.

Discord

I’m working on setting up a Discord for this blog and as a sort of hub for other JJBA ask blogs out there! It’s mostly complete; I just wanna find a bot that can be used for auto-assigning roles first. It’ll put the invite link in the pinned post + make a separate post once I’m ready to open it up.

Scrapped Art/WIP Showcase

Remember when I promised this last year and then never actually did it? Well, it’s finally here! It’s also in the new pinned post in case you can’t find this post. Do keep in mind that it isn’t complete at the time of writing this though; I still gotta find some old sketchbook sketches that I never took pictures of.

More Activity?

I can’t guarantee this since I’m still the same old same old, but I’ll try my best to become more active! Y’all will also have to keep in mind that I got all sorts of other projects on my mind, and as of writing, something personal will be coming up soon for me, and it may affect my motivation depending on the outcome. Again, I’ll try my best to be more responsive, though it may come at the cost of the art’s quality...

Wow, this has been a long post. Well, it’s great to be on here for real and see you all again. And again, thanks for sticking around despite all my tomfoolery; it really means a lot to me. <3

[the-green-april]

I was enabled by the discord so here’s my exhaustive post on tog recommended reading. All the authors linked have a style that I enjoy in general, but I’ll add some rambles about my favourite works

Noteinabottle with All the Blue in the World won’t do, without you. Did you want plot? Because this serves you a feast in lore, plans within plans that keep you on the edge of your seat and an exquisite Khunbam characterization that will make you sad- and happy-cry! Also hollow moons (.tension™️)

Macrauchenia with On crumb cakes and clapperboards. The only thing cuter than a good coffeeshop au? Coffeeshop and actors au! It’s funny, it’s sweet, it warms my heart in a cold zoom-lit winter and I love it. Also where the current leaves us (au where Khun gets pushed instead of Bam) and sugar,spice but mostly nice (a drabble collection for Khunbam week)

Enheduanna with wild geese. I’m always a slut for a well-written historical au, and this one has such a unique, rich world it settles the story into, to then hit you over the head with an amazing character piece

allurfavesaretrans with and I’ll find your lips in the streetlights, in which Khun ends up in Bam’s shirt and consecutively probably also in his pants. Also all their other one-shots for ALL THE PINING. Sparks joy

Khunfounded my love❤️ with 1)The thing with feathers, an AU where everyone has a bird form they can shift into. It’s such a unique premise plus excellent character scenes plus a thrilling plot that keeps you hooked every chapter. 2) Welcome Home aka the college/apartment au which is just- all the good vibes. It’s soft and fluffy and funny, it’s a heartwarming Khunbam story but also gives the side characters room to shine, and it has lesbians#blessed. 3) The Cave in you, a Bam character study/ hurt|comfort that rips out my whole heart and stitches it back together.

Khuns with I’ll write this into a story of us. It’s an adorable Modern au, and their writing style infuses this sort of subtle magic into everyday life. Honestly always a joy to read!

Aikotters, unchallenged queen of a hundred AUs, with Someone out there loves you, if you’re prepared to have your spine ripped out of your body. This is So much angst, but it’s delivered through such well fleshed-out, realistic character writing I’ll always come back for more. Also a knot in red string (a kitsune au). Just in general the amount of thought put into worldbuilding and nuanced character writing will never cease to amaze me!

Feyren with monsters. Hauntingly beautiful phrasing and heartbreaking characterization! Also Stay (i forgot the title for a while and referred to it in my mind as ‘last tango in hill house’. Khunbam and friends have to take cover at a horror movie mansion and communicate about their emotions. 10/10)

Smokeandwaves with- honestly everything. There’s such a unique flow to their writing that will make you wheeze with laughter at some of the honest to god best written comedy scenes I’ve ever read, tear up at the exquisitely delivered raw feelings and then tear your hair out because all of it not only fits, but builds and expands upon the canon characterizations. But the must-reads imo are 1) Motion for its Khunbam characterization and dynamic. They’re not perfect and genuinely suck at communication a lot of the time but that’s what makes their relationship feel so much more alive and touching. And 2) Human, because it’s such a well thought-out, gut-wrenchingly good character study that I‘m fully prepared to disregard siu‘s version of Khun’s backstory, whenever that comes.

[dogin8]

Hello dogin! Another question for you today! Who are your top 5 favorite dsmp characters?

AYO!!! This is a genuinely tough question because I love them all so damn much

I think the number one spot would have to go to c!Tommy or c!Tubbo because I know the most about them specifically and have been able to get invested in their arcs the most out of anyone!

2 I think I might pick Fundy, he's been around from the very very beginning, he's the son of the old president that died and a lot of his stuff is genuinely so tragic and I love it, ALSO OMG I WAS SO IN LOVE WITH THE CONCEPT OF HIM SAYING "If I can't make them laugh I'll make them cry" (Btw the delivery on this line was fucking amazing) BUT HE ACTUALLY LIKE... WENT AWAY FOR A YEAR AND HEALED, Fundy processing his emotions by distancing himself my beloved

3 I might start fucking around and saying Connoreatspants, he's only ever canonically droppes banger lines, mans has done nothing wrong and like, firstly he fucked about and canonised my HC that he's immortal which I'm so fukn happy abt, secondly he's kind of a blank slate when it comes to lore so I can write whatever I damn want about him and thirdly cc!Connor realises his viewers might not want to see dsmp lore so he never streams it, meaning out of the people who don't have POVs we have Dream, Schlatt and Connor, which is amazing if you compare how the other two turned out

4 I think I might actually say Niki or Jack Manifold (yes I'm intentionally saying multiple people so I get to talk about how much I like more than 5 of the characters hehehe), Niki's lore is honestly really good and pretty underrated imo, I love her whole underground city and how jn her loneliness the city that was meant to be so welcoming and full of life slowly became her prison (her canonically having night terrors and not accepting that ghostbur exists is such a cool touch) and also Jack Manifold because he's got some really cool fukn stuff going on, his whole mourning tommy stream? amazing, his reaction to Tommy coming back? amazing, the stream where he broke down all of his lore and character motivations was so cool and I'm really hyped to see more of it (Also like, still not over him beating phil in a 1v1 during tftsmp)

5 (I've decided I'm gonna do more than 5, I've already done more but I'm gonna do even more more) Honestly hot take but Schlatt, Loved how much of a scumbag he was, the guy did not hide the fact that he was evil, but also as you know my opinions about his death scene GODSS the character seemed to be a 1 dimensional dictatorial villain (Which was really good to be fair, his acting really was amazing) until right at the end when suddenly there was insane amounts of depth that had been there all along he'd just been hiding it really well

6 Quackity, Quackity the girlboss my beloved, his character is the exact opposite of connor, he's the most complicated fucker on the planet and he's so involved, like every arc has a hint of Quackity's influence and I love that for him, Joke character(I don't actually think he was, but he is perceived as one) turned significant my beloved

7 Ponk, AHHHH I LOVE PONK, what a legend, Mans has red contacts to trick the egg, he has a whole wealthy ancestor plotline that I need more crumbs for!!! also that moment when he was considering what the server needed and he looked over to Schlatt's grave?? PERFECTTR SO GOOD, his whole toxic and awful relationship with Sam is so amazingly written and I love it

8 Purpled Bedwars, he's cool as fuck, that is all

[reversecreek]

clicks onto the dash wearing kitten heels n coyly holding my bang....... hi. me again. it took me so long to select a gif to use on cricket’s intro n i settled on this one bc he looks so unsure abt his smile n it’s rly his essence <3 u can find his pinterest board here n his (work in progress) spotify playlist here. hmu to plot!!! 

* alex wolff, cis male + he/him | you know cricket donahue, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of their life, on and off? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to should have known better by sufjan stevens like, a million times this year, which slipping on wet leaves to photograph a tree struck alight by lightning, delivering a tedtalk to your own reflection to hype yourself up to buy groceries, hiding your hands inside of your sleeves in case you grew an impromptu megan fox thumb overnight thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 1st, so they’re a libra, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her )

HISTORY:

cricket ws born to a couple tht lived in lilac ridge. their trailer was tucked closest to the woods n always fell under the shade. it was like the leaves wanted to pretend they were a perpetual hanging cloud on the family n that was kind of fitting. their only reason fr having him in the first place was a kind of shrugged like........... we’re under the income bracket we’d get child benefits so why not! may as well try it to rake in some extra cash! needless to say they didn’t rly think it thru or anticipate all of the responsibilities tht came w children n wound up seeing him as an extremely large burden n boy didn’t he know it!

(child neglect & abuse tw) i’ll try to keep this part vague n brief but things were Not Good for cricket growing up. people in lilac ridge didn’t like his parents n it was for a gd reason. he remembers foggy things. being little n wandering around combing the grass with a stick to search for wrappers to suck on bc he was hungry. feeling uneasy when the front door opened. finding out his name was cricket bc the insects used to crawl into their trailer thru the vents n his parents liked to squish them into the carpet -- his mum told him as much once. i think this says a lot. to excessively trim the fat of the story he wound up entering the system at around 8 after his latest and most serious hospital visit. his parents hd to deal w the authorities n last he heard they bounced to evade charges.

(anxiety & violence & trauma tw) cricket sustained a few lifelong injuries from his time in lilac ridge. his knee didn’t heal right which meant he had (n still has to this day) a limp n he’s partially deaf in one ear. he’s always been an incredibly insecure n anxious person so this mde him rly self conscious going into a strange n new environment tht wld b difficult fr any kid to adjust to, nvm w these added worries. he jst felt like something weird to ogle at honestly. he probably wld have felt like that no matter where he was or what he looked like. he cld be in a huge hall of 200 people all wearing the same uniform n he’d still feel like the odd one out. needless to say this didn’t rly help him make friends

cricket’s coping mechanisms were romanticising the things tht other people found ugly or embarrassing or painfully ordinary. he liked it when the rain hit clunky drops against school windows n forbid everyone from playing outside bc he could feel the vibrations through the rubber soles of his shoes n it was a little bit like hearing all of the world at once fr just a moment. he liked medieval fantasy lore about stout gnomes w crumbs in their beards n cheeks red from ale. he liked fallen nests with the remnants of hatched eggs still dirty from the branches n soil they’d hit on the way down. he liked the way the sunlight leaked thru the leaves of the trees in the woods and how, when he sat very still, he could tune into the ringing that was always in his ear n pretend it was coming from the same place, that light thru the leaves, that the angels were trying to talk to him.

he spent a lot of time in the red room at his high skl (i’m begging u this is not a 50 shades reference) (after googling i jst realised it’s called a darkroom bt i’m leaving this fr the sake of sexy bimbo authenticity) n felt quite at home in there. he borrowed a camera whenever he cld (maybe he did yearbook) n photography became his way of immortalising the world as the romanticised version he wanted it to be. his memories were bad bt his photos were beautiful. maybe if he took enough they’d paste over n bleed into each other. maybe bad cld be replaced w beautiful if he tried his very best.

he got placed into fostering w a family once bt apparently didn’t meet the vibe check of their tastes so he wound up returning to the group home he’d initially been placed in. overall this is where he grew up n he aged out the system rather than getting adopted. there was a sense of floundering/isolation/not feeling gd enough in tht bt cricket made do the best he knew how. 

that said there were some gd points! (shocking i kno bc his life hs been so fking bleak so far bt please it’s ok........) (is it?) (🤔). basically he interned as an assistant at this local photography studio during high skl working under this kind of whimsical yet endearing old man. suspected wizard possibly in cricket’s eyes, as an avid fantasy genre reader. for one of his bdays said old man / his boss bought him his very own film camera n cricket cried bc he’d never been bought a bday gift. this ws rly embarrassing bc this old man didn’t know how to emote n neither did cricket so he ws jst sort of sat wiping his eyes n sniffling saying he wasn’t crying as the old man pretended to suddenly clean his lenses. when cricket graduated he offered him a full time position there. they do like. wedding photographs n family portraits n all kinds of things...... pay isn’t huge bt it’s something n he Loves taking photos so it’s sexy <3

PERSONALITY:

SUCH an anxious person it’s actually unreal. overthinks absolutely everything he’s ever said. one morning he might hv put green socks on n for the rest of the day he’s nervously looking around like omggggggg they’re all looking at my socks probably thinking im a little green sock boy thinking i’m a fool n a jester this is all everyone’s probably thinking about i hv to hide my green socks..... even tho literally no-one cares

once saw a girl eating a chicken wing n in his head was like ok she likes chicken good future gift idea..... n turned up at her house with an entire rotisserie chicken

probably thinks WAY too hard abt what to write in bday cards n googles like generic ideas that he can use.... u open a card from cricket n it always says smthn weird like “Warmest wishes and love on your birthday and always!” or “You deserve everything happy. Wishing you that all year long!” tht he got off google

nervously fiddles w things a lot. literally anything. his hair. the cuffs of his sleeves. a thread on his bag. u name it

struggles w eye contact sometimes............ it’s like. he wants to talk to ppl n make friends bt he’s honestly so bad at it. he’s fumbling thru life like a nervous headless chicken

ALWAYS has his camera on him. like always. will tke a photo of u bc he thinks u look nice then be like im so sorry im so sorry...... bowing his head shakily holding his camera bc he doesn’t even kno what possessed him he jst thought it’d be a nice photograph bt boundaries exist. probably breathes very heavily over this later in his room panicking thinking he nw seems like hannibal lecter

probably more confident online bc he has time to think abt what he says more.......... i can see him hving a group of online friends tht he’s more confident w. honestly he’s pretty witty at heart he jst has a hard time verbalising things so ppl overlook him sometimes bt once u get to know him more / he’s more comfy he can b a funny little man.....

loves photographs where he cuts something out of them. loves missing spaces n voids. thinks it’s a rly interesting concept when something that isn’t there becomes the focus of a photograph where everything else is. probably loses his mind fr a collage like a front row 1d stan. likes experimenting w light n perception. pretty artistic honestly hs probably made a stop motion film in the past bc that’s just an extended form of photography in his mind bt i doubt he showed anyone

ummm...... very sweet bt like. he reminds me a lot of this quote. “he had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise.” feel like tht sums him up quite nicely

WANTED CONNECTIONS

someone he met at a wedding: cricket probably ws forced to photograph a wedding fr his boss one time n it cld b interesting as a place to meet from that....... like. i can imagine either it being rly awkward maybe he accidentally spilled a drink on ur muse n was stuttering rly apologetic n it ws just a train wreck. or mayb they took pity on him or even (in a shocking turn of events) a shine to him n invited him to drink n dance. omgggg the thought of cricket trying to dance makes me wna die n probably mkes cricket wna hyperventilate bt idk maybe he went wild n let loose. mayb they wound up damaging the camera somehow. mayb they had to scramble to get another one n ur muse covered the cost n it was a strange late night excursion tht cricket thought about a lot since. cricket probably vowed to pay them bk somehow no matter what. idk. we can work things out. lots of diff options here. doesn’t have to b a wedding either can b any event tht required a photographer

ppl he went to school w: pretty self explanatory i suppose...... maybe they were frm completely different worlds..... mayb ur muse was popular n cricket was definitely not but they got paired fr an assignment n had to work on a project together....... mayb cricket asked ur muse on a date one time n it was completely embarrassing bc he didn’t realise they had a bf n it haunts cricket at night still bc he’s rly dramatic.... mayb ur muse felt sry fr him n ate lunch w him n inducted him into their group like a lost puppy finding a home.... world’s our oyster

neighbours from his brief time at lilac ridge: not to reference taylor swift but i’m gna reference taylor swift n say we cld do a seven inspired plot here. sighs a little..... then sighs a lot. he was here ages 0-8 so idk. we cld work out childhood plots perhaps....

sickening simp: i mean.............. cricket probably gets crushes on ppl so easily like just. anyone who’s the slightest bit nice to him.................. he’s a disgrace. ok i take it back. bt also please get it together freak............... i didn’t say that. he’d probably b extra nice to this person n try n pay close attention to things they liked so he cld get them little gifts. just a bit embarrassing n lovestruck bless his heart. wldn’t expect anything back tho honestly that just isn’t something he tends to do.

let’s go gays: cricket’s bi but he probably was rly in his head abt liking boys n tried to sort of squash it internally during his younger yrs...... i think he’s more comfy w it now MAYBE idk bt back then i picture him having a friend tht ws kind of like. similarly loserish as him perhaps (no offence to ur muse potentially filling this plot or cricket bt let’s face the facts) n they’d hang out n play games a lot n one time it jst kind of happened n he was like............. *struts in looking around sharply* What going on here? except not. bc it’s cricket. more like *shambles in looking around anxiously* What’s, uh... What’s... the happenings? S--... I’m sorry. (immediate apology for saying what’s the happenings bc nobody talks like that n it was an impulsive panic bc he didn’t know what else to say)

those who grew up in the system w him: maybe at the group home or i’d also like the family that fostered him n said sayonara. honestly i imagine the parents just thought he ws a bit too much of a handful / had too much baggage which is rly quite merciless n terrible but. if u think that aligns w ur muses home situation hmu......

um. can’t think of more bt just anything honestly. jst go wild.......

[silverselfshippingchaos]

[dorky-self-shipper] 🎫 here’s a gush pass :3 feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other selfshippers

Oh, my friend!!! Ahhh thank you so much for sending this in!! I have been a bit iffy because some things in my life have been piling up, but!!! I am so excited to dig into this!!! I really need a good gushing session haha!

Today's target for gushing hours with your girl Ash is none other than Yaag Rosch!

This ended up being pretty long, and is a mix of lore, screaming, keyboard smashes, his gorgeous design, and more screaming.

Saying that this man lives in my head rent free is an understatement. He is all I think about it. Honestly, I think it's funny considering Yaag's role in FF13. He's only around in the first game, and shows up in like five cutscenes.

Also. We get crumbs of him in the novels. More on that later. Back to the game.

All he does is "hey yall suck" "your lives don't matter" "uhh i need to kill you guys" "oh wait no i'm not evil" "*dies*"

But!!! He's very cool!! His character is so interesting to me. He's so driven to do whatever it takes, but beneath his actions, there's always an edge of hesitation. He seems like he comes off as so sure of himself, but... I'm not sure about that. Now, I can't say anything for sure because the writers hate him, I really liked those few moments where we get to see his actual thoughts.

For example, "Do you think we want to Purge our own people?!" And things like that where you see him question his orders. I feel like there's a lot of underlying hatred, distrust, and overall fear of the system.

Also, his development from "They aren't people, they're targets." to "I'll trust in your humanity." Gets me every single time.

Also don't get me started on his "if this is my punishment... i accept it." when he's bleeding line.

I am here to gush, not analyze. But both are happening anyway.

I feel as though he puts a lot of thought into what he says and how he acts, and I really do admire that.

For context, Lieutenant Colonel Yaag Rosch is this military higher-up guy. I remember seeing him for the first time and my jaw simply dropping. I know that these games have a history with hot villains. After all, I am an FF7 fan. I have seen the SOLDIERS, I have seen the Turks, I've seen Rufus. They're all hot.

There. I said it.

This intro scene gave us some damn good food. Like??? The silver hair??? The ponytail??? The scar on his forehead??? The overly dramatic speech about how the protagonists need to be eliminated??AJKLFNAWKJFNAWKLJFNWILEN.

(Also, I'm beginning to see the resemblance he has to Felix. I am a very predictable woman, aren't I?)

I am actually going to scream. He’s so handsome!!! His jaw!! His eyes are such a pretty color too!!! I wanna give him a kiss ahhh!! Especially on his forehead scar!!! He's so... woah.

Also, he has a really, really nice voice. Like??? WOW. I want this man to like. narrate my life. Here, lemme find some clips of him talking.

Here. Enjoy.

This one is a fan favorite as well.

It's not a Rick roll. I promise.

..... Unless?

Anyways, as time went on, I realized that he's actually such a deep and interesting character?? He gets done dirty by the writers and the game, but the potential he has makes me so excited!! There's so much material to work off of!!! Truly one of the more interesting villains the trilogy has to offer. Honestly, it's kind of difficult going through the second game knowing that he isn't there.

However, it's also difficult going through the second game because I??? Can't beat?? The goddamn boss fight??? I'm also playing on easy mode. I didn't struggle this much during the first game either. What the hell, Ash.

Back to the actual topic.

I'm gonna start off with his design before we delve into s/i lore and fun tidbits.

(His coat is so cool... Do you think he'd let me wear it? I'd probably waddle around in it because he's pretty tall and I. I am not.

He's around 6'2 (around almost 188 cm..? I think?), but take into account his boots too. Which means that normally he's slightly taller. That means that he's about a foot taller than me. That means that I'm pretty much the perfect height to bury my face in his chest. *screams*)

Talk about a kickass design. He's really cool to look at. Not only, uhm, *blushes*, but because of how cool his outfit is too! It does a really good job of portraying that "heyyy i'm super importtanntttt" energy that he has. He carries himself like he's the shit. And you know what? He is.

He's pretty professional. Minus the times he gets kinda pissed. The novels say, and I quote,

"They said he was the most straitlaced man in PSICOM - if you put serious and stubborn in a military uniform, you'd get Colonel Rosch."

And yeah. That basically sums it up.

Also, there's this scene where he gets all pissed and pulls out his sword and I'm over here like *insert debby ryan hair thing here*. I'm telling you, it's always the sword boys that get me. I'm sure you've noticed that by now. I don't know what it is but. It's a thing.

Oh!!! Oh!!! Speaking of the *tucks hair behind ear*, there's this one scene where he's chasing the protagonists. And he goes, "Clever, aren't you?"

*SCREAMS*

That scene is truly a masterpiece. Thank you for the good food, Squeenix. I remember having to take a moment to just pause and regather myself. Actually, I had to do that the first time I saw him too-

I wasn't alone at the time when he was introduced so I was just silently like "ohmygodhellosir ajrfnaklwenjklwenjklrn" but oh my GOODNESS.

My s/i works with him! She's pretty much his right hand woman. She always has reports and intel on all their missions ready to go! I find it cute how well they work together, be it for mission-related matters, or just when they're relaxing together.

Just like pretty much all of my other s/is, she's a raging academic and total nerd. In the first game, they basically live on this human paradise called Cocoon. It ends up not being so great because the gods want to murder humanity but anyways! Education is pretty much free and you can study whatever you're passionate about. That's why she has studied just so many things.

She's not exactly the type who aspired to join the military, but alas! Things happened. I like to think of it as a "heyyyy y'all needed my help once and then once turned to twice and twice to thrice and then i never left" type thing.

Oh, and then she fell in love with Yaag while she was there.

Her cheery attitude is a direct opposite to his, but they're also able to have some very serious conversations with each other. I love their dynamic so much! Also, he can get a bit softer when he's opening up to her and,,, Soft Yaag??? Hoo boy.

Her motives and beliefs tend to align a bit more with the Cavalry branch, but i feel as though she fits in better with PSICOM. Also, the book describes the soldiers to be a bunch of dumbass dorks and just the thought of her smiling and cracking jokes with all of Yaag's men make me super happy.

Oh and she gets a cool uniform too! Because I said so.

Now, they've known each other for years by the time the end of the first game rolls around. They're happy together, maybe even engaged! It can go one of two ways here. He either dies or he doesn't.

I like adhering really closely to canon with my ships (*laughs in genesis angst*) but I also think it would be a blast if he were to survive.

In the novels after his death, some recordings of his are found. It's basically him talking about how the government sucks from the inside. A character finds these and reveals them to the public to get rid of the old government and an invite a newer one that actually cares about the people. However, it's never quite stated how he got those recordings. And that's where Ash steps in.

She brings them to his attention and helps him out, but then returns to live with the rest of the remaining soldiers in that camp they set up in the second novel. They all look up to her as a leader-type, which I find is really funny because she doesn't exactly have the qualifications? She worked with PSICOM, but was never exactly a soldier. But hey, it's right after the world (quite literally) fell apart, I don't think that anybody cares about that.

Also, there's another chapter where Snow ends up visiting, and she has a friendly chat with him!!! She helped out the protagonists a little bit near the end of the first game, so they have a slight idea of who each other are, but that doesn't exactly change the fact that she fell under the category of villain for a lot of it, despite not actually being a bad person. I also think that their dynamic would be fun. Snow also just makes me really happy LMAO.

I think that this version of Ash is really fun just because of how much the experience hardens her? She spends a lot of time grieving. Also!!! Whether or not she makes a cameo in 13-2 (maybe near the ruins early game?) is totallllyyyy up to you hehe! I think it would be neat for her to talk to the protagonists of that game, especially since Yaag was the one who orchestrated the Purge and at the ruins, there's a huge monument of the names of people who were killed there.

Also, whether or not she has a son here is up to you. I like to think of all my ideas all happening in alternate timelines so everything I want can happen without stepping on other events? I imagine their child to have Yaag's pretty silver hair with Ash's brown eyes.

Also, 13-2 is about time travel so like. The protagonists meeting their child in the future when he's all grown up? Good stuff.

But hey, in the main timeline she's alone after Yaag's death. She helps the other characters. I also think that in time, she does work for the Academy? I mentioned that she's pretty nerdy earlier, so that definitely helps out. She's super cool!!! Such a badass!!!

Now, on the flipside of things, what if he survived? Then what happens? shameless self promo

Yaag still has those recordings, and they do still reach Captain Rygdea. They both live in the small village that the remnants of PSICOM created. It's a sweet life. Are fankids a thing in their future? Yeah, probably.

I feel like Yaag would be a really good dad. I headcanon that he has a very strong relationship with his own father as well. He's caring and stern, but also knows when to turn down the serious scale. The novels also say that he likes kids!?!?!? I know I've screamed about this point like 24892 times on my blog. But.

It's so cute??? Who would expect this super serious and mean man who quite literally says that the protagonists aren't people, they're targets to like children of all things???? It really is my favorite thing ever just because of how cute it is. I also have a few tiny cousins in my family, so him playing with them makes me very soft too.

("Would you please stop tugging on my hair- Ash, this is not a laughing matter!" "Oh, but it so is.")

I think that detail really helps hint at him having a more gentle side? And I adore that.

Also, I mentioned how Snow pays a visit to the PSICOM camp after the events of the first game? I think that would be very interesting with Yaag there because before Yaag dies in canon, Snow says, "Stay alive. We'll see you when it's over."

And now he finally gets to see him. The conversation would get surprisingly deep and definitely dive into Yaag's motives and real thoughts about his actions in the game. I really enjoy the few interactions those two have in the game.

Anyways, now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's dig into the meat and potatoes of this ship.

In 13-2, they get a separate dlc side story just to themselves. Because I said so. I'm not sure how the plot of this works, but it's basically them exploring Gran Pulse together. Maybe to map things out? Maybe to get better acquainted with the world they thought was a hell their whole lives? Maybe there's some sort of big mission they have to do? We'll figure it out.

Basically, it's a whole side story of them exploring and kicking monster ass together. The combat is regular 13 combat.

Yaag has his sword along with some explosives (we see him carry some grenades at the end when he blew himself up). And Ash also has a sword because I like swords.

In the game, usually only l'Cie, or magic god slaves, can use magic. However, after the fal'Cie (magic gods) go poof at the end of the end of the first game, some normal humans can use magic? It makes no sense and exists only for plot convenience, but I'm not complaining because it makes my plot easier too.

My point is, Ash can use magic! Because A) she's quirky mage material B) we need a balanced team C) Every single version of Ash so far has been a mage. D) I like magic a lot. Would be my go-to as well.

Also, if you're interested in how they work in battle, roles divide up very nicely between them.

Yaag has: -Commando (physical attacks) -Sentinel (beefy tanks) -Sabuteur (debuffing enemies)

Ash has: -Ravager (magic goes brrr) -Medic (i think you know) -Synergist (buffing allies) -Commando (physical attacks)

Maybe Yaag could get medic too to balance off the load in battle? They're a blast in combat because they really do compliment each other.

Anyways, back to the adventure.

It's the two of them traveling around. The main focus of it is their conversations as they travel. There's a lot of fun banter. Ya know how like when you're walking around in Naughty Dog games and your characters are just chatting? Yeah. That.

Their conversations are super random and they cover pretty much every single topic ever. They go from really serious to them just being stupid. I love their friendly banter.

Also, when they set up camp and are about to sleep, we get to see sleepy Yaag in action. And do you know what that means?

It means we get to see Yaag with his hair done a bit looser, maybe even down!!! Yaag with his hair down is all I want to see. It's what we deserve. It's what we need. The day that I see Yaag with his hair down is the day i achieve true happiness LMAO.

It's what we need.

Ash playing with his hair??? Yes, I most definitely think so.

Oh and there is totally a "Yaag, I'm cold." "Allow me to help remedy that. *pulls her closer*" type moment because they're cute like that.

All in all, their travels are really fun. Maybe somewhere around there they run into the protagonists? Either from the first game or the second game. I think that would be a fun mess.

I feel like Yaag can show a softer side of him around her and that makes me really happy. He deserves to be happy and I love him very much.

I think about him all the time, and just the thought of him holding me makes me so happy. He really is just adorable.

Before I wrap this up, I have a few more things I want to speak about! Firstly, allow me to share one of my favorite pictures of him because oh. my. god.

*screams*

The urge to backhug him!!! Ahh!!! He's so cute!!!! I just wanna hold him aelajflanef.

One of my favorite pre-relationship moments from them is this one time where Yaag is pretty down in the dumps, and Ash is talking to him about it and offering her advice. And as she talks, she gently places a hand over his (they're seated side by side btw). He looks up at her in shock, and she takes back her hand is like, "O-oh! I'm so sorry, I should've asked first, I just thought tha-"

And then he just snatches her hand back and gently holds it. You can see the tips of his ears burning red haha! I think that they're pretty cute ajfwnjklef

She always tries her best to take care of him, too! He needs a hug, and she is more than happy to provide. She always tries to remind him to eat his meals on time and such, even if she can be questionable at following her own advice at times. She can also be a bit of a tease sometimes, so he can get pretty annoyed (not really, he thinks it's cute) sometimes.

However, he also does his best to take care of her. Would he pull the "that's an order." card after she refuses to rest, pulling several late-nighters for work? Yeah. Probably. He's very caring, even if he can come off as very serious and scary sometimes.

To wrap things up, I love Yaag Rosch.

Thank you for your time.