#i’m down horrendous for 2 of the dudes there; i respect 2 of the dudes’ humor and va talent a lot; and fulgur is like. my uncle.

[brisquad-unit-4402]

yeah

[hermannsthumb]

"newt isn’t sleazy and is also too busy wrestling with the ethics of hitting on his hot TA if the guy is 5 months older than him to even notice" pleeeease write this

Anonymous asked: "When I Kissed the Teacher" AU ft professor newt and his hot 5-month-older TA hermann

and coincidentally, this older one

Anonymous asked: i just rewatched mamma mia 2 and was wondering if i could request a "when i kissed the teacher" newmann fic?? love your writing!!!!!!

Ask And Ye Shall Receive. sorry ive been MIA 😔 concept from this post I made earlier this month. idk what class newt teaches that hermann would be qualified to TA for but just like, decide for yourselves

---------------------

Newt’s never been a list-making kind of guy, or--for that matter--even really a planning ahead kind of guy, but certain circumstances have thrown his life more out of wack than usual lately, and he kind of needs the stability the like of things like lists offer. Desperate times and everything. Or, at the very least, Newt is desperate. 

So Newt plans, and plots, and deliberates, and he even agonizes a little, but most of all, he makes a list.

On one half of the page, he writes pros. On the other, he writes cons. On top, he writes--what else?--Hermann.

The problem started in late August. Newt knew for months he was going to be assigned a teaching assistant come that semester--it was him, after all, who’d suggested it to the dean in the first place--but the Hermann Gottlieb of extensive, impressive, overachieving CV and overly-former cover letter was a far cry from Hermann Gottlieb in the flesh. Newt expected a dork, frankly. Someone too socially awkward to feel brave enough to thank someone for holding a door open for him. He expected a PhD student so eager to please he’d cater to Newt’s every whim, whether it was grading horrendous freshman lab reports or fetching him a sandwich from the commissary between class sections. 

They met for the first time at the campus coffee shop. Hermann was dressed in an oversized pair of slacks, a threadbare green sweatervest, and honest-to-God saddle shoes; the buttons of his Oxford were done up all the way, from the collar to the cuffs, and an ornate cane was settled against his thigh. His haircut was tragic. “Dr. Geiszler,” he said, all clipped and English, and held his hand out to Newt. “Hermann Gottlieb. It is a great pleasure to meet you. I’m an admirer of your work.”

"Sup,” Newt said, and tried to bump their fists together.

Newt knew he was in deep shit then. It wasn’t just because Hermann was gorgeous (which he was, in a sort of weird, frumpy, ripped-outta-1945 way), or that the scowl he proceeded to level Newt with made his soul wither and his heart race a little bit too fast, but both of those things in conjunction with a big one: Newt was, and is, so fucking love-starved. It’s an unfortunate byproduct of being made a professor when he was as young as he was and completing a PhD before he completed puberty. His early twenties should’ve been spent dyeing his hair terrible colors and adding to his already impressive tattoo collection and having questionable hookups with other young twentysomethings; unfortunately, the only young twentysomethings Newt ever seems to come across are his students, and he has a very strict code of ethics. Not to mention it wasn’t like he was getting any action before that as a weird, gangly teenager with peers several years his senior. He was bound to latch onto the first genius hottie who crossed his path who wasn’t trying to flirt their way into bumping that B- to a B+. And better yet, Hermann is five whole months his senior!

The shit only got deeper when the semester started. No, Hermann was not the sort to fetch Newt sandwiches, or coffee, or Aspirin from his office, nor was he the sort to handle the dreaded lab reports (at least not unless Newt handled them with him), and he definitely wasn’t eager to please. Newt, anyway. If anything the opposite was true: he seemed to actively derive enjoyment from undermining Newt at every turn.

“Wrong,” he’d mutter during class if Newt screwed something up in a lecture, or “No, Geiszler, you’re doing it wrong again,” or “How in the blazes did you get three bloody PhDs when you can’t even do simple addition?” and snatch Newt’s dry erase marker away to scrawl his own answers on the whiteboard. It was less like having a TA and more like having...well, a bitchy, annoying co-teacher. Or, God help Newt, a colleague. And boy, did he wave those five months over Newt’s head like a fucking flag. Newt was immature; inexperienced; clearly not as serious about his studies--his completed studies--as Hermann. Meanwhile Newt’s class (bright young twenty somethings, taller than Newt, cooler than Newt, with more friends than Newt) would giggle and snicker, and Hermann would look smug.

It drove Newt fucking batty.

It also made him, like, super turned on.

The two can co-exist. Apparently. Hermann Gottlieb is already helping Newt discover new and existing concepts; what a fucking excellent TA he is. Someone give that man a raise.

So Newt draws up a list, and he writes Pros, and he writes Cons, and he writes Hermann. The pros are regrettably easy to come up with, because Hermann is Hermann, and (bitchiness and undermining of Newt aside) it’s unfair how many he has. Hot. Stupid sexy accent. Stupidly smart. This is crossed out and replaced with so smart he makes me feel stupid (in a good way), because it seems like an important distinction. Glasses on chain. Mysterious. (In a tall, dark, and handsome way. Sort of. Average height--which is tall to Newt, pale, and handsome. He still scowls more than he talks, which makes him feel mysterious. In a Bronte sort of way. Newt can picture Hermann drawing a billowing cloak around his shoulders and stalking some desolate moor in the moonlight, though in this case maybe’s more of a puffy parka than a cloak.) In tiniest font of all is makes me laugh, because Hermann does, goddamn it, with his snide asides and cutting remarks and sarcasm, often not even directed at Newt when it’s just the two of them alone in Newt’s office at night.

The placement of “is my TA” on the chart is acting as a particular annoyance to Newt, entirely on account of the fact that he can think of several pros and cons for that as well, and he’s not sure whether to nestle it between dark eyelashes and once called me a moron in front of my class and I got a hard-on or beneath sweaters smell like sweat and mothballs, has annoying tic of clearing throat when lost in thought, and the dick wins 86% of our arguments. Sexy forbidden fling. Abuse of power. Is older than me so it's not as weird as it could be? I’m his boss. The school’s paying Hermann though, not Newt, and it’s not like he’s going to scurry off to the dean and demand Hermann’s funding slashed if Hermann turns him down (which he’d most likely do). But it still feels like a breach of ethics.

On the other hand, Hermann is exactly the sort of guy he’d try to pick up at a bar if he still did things like that. (Tenure, rather than giving Newt breathing space to kick back and relax a little, has only increased his obsession with his work, and now when he gets a Friday night free to himself he mostly switches crap on the TV and falls asleep with his cat on the couch.) It’s about the experience, the impossible task of seducing someone who--by all accounts--is too straight-laced and tight-buttoned to indulge in something that debase. They were always the best in bed. Tension, Newt knows, has to snap at some point.

He’d like to wrap Hermann’s personal piano wire around his thumb and bang away at the keys until it snaps, too. Ethics, Newt thinks (folding up the list and stuffing it out of sight), his ass.

Newt sacrifices a Friday night with his cat and Unsolved Mysteries in favor of working on a solution to his Hermann Problem. Swamped with work, he tells Hermann over the phone, it fucking sucks, dude, I could really use your help in my office, and Hermann grumbles, and snaps that Newt should learn to be better prepared for his own damn classes, but declares he’ll be on campus in half an hour and that Newt will be ordering him takeaway for dinner as an apology.

The door swings open at half past five. Hermann is bundled in that heavy parka and scarf (which, even for a Boston November, still looks a little too warm), and his hair is damp. “Is it raining?” Newt says, perhaps stupidly, because there’s not a single droplet of water anywhere else on Hermann’s body.

Hermann makes a face at him and pushes the door shut with his cane. “No,” he says, tersely.

“Then why...” Newt touches his own hair.

“I was taking a bloody bath,” Hermann snaps. “I don’t work on Fridays, as you well know, Newton.”

The use of his full first name stings Newt oddly even as the notion of Hermann luxuriating in a bathtub excites him. “That’s Dr. Geiszler,” Newt snaps back, because goddamn it, he’s Hermann’s boss, he deserves respect, and then mentally adds a small, depressing tally to the Cons half of the board. Ethics, ethics. 

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry, Dr. Geiszler,” Hermann says. He throws his scarf and coat viciously at the small couch in the corner of Newt’s office, then takes his usual seat across from Newt. “Well? Where are those papers it’s so crucial we grade?”

Hermann in a bathtub, Newt thinks. Hermann naked. Papers, Newt thinks. “Papers,” Newt says, and he shoves a stack at Hermann with twice as much force as he means to, causing several to flutter to the ground. “We need...to grade them,” he says. Hermann naked, in a bathtub, maybe some candles lit around him, some nice music on, daydreaming about that wretched professor he works for. Damn it. “I have a pen,” he says. “To grade.”

“What on earth are you saying?” Hermann says. “Be quiet. I can’t concentrate with your abominable prattling on.” Then he mumbles something that sounds like incessant, rips the top paper off the stack, and begins to slash at it in red ink. He doesn’t bother gathering the two from the ground.

Why did Newt invite him here, again?

Oh, right. He pushes his glasses up his nose and feigns casualness, pulling out another paper for himself to grade. “A bath,” he says. “Just to, uh, relax? Or...?”

Hermann narrows his eyes. “Or?”

Newt shrugs. “It’s Friday. Were you getting ready for a date or something?”

This time, Hermann’s mouth twists down into a frown. Almost suspicious. “Why do you care?” he says.

“I don’t,” Newt says quickly. “Just making small talk.” God, he could picture some stud of a computer science PhD candidate winning Hermann over with techno babble--or maybe one of his fellow students, ugh, maybe they made a study group together that meets Friday nights, and Hermann was getting all gussied up, goddamn handsome astrophysics grad students--

“I was relaxing,” Hermann says. “You must be aware at this point you cause me a great deal of stress, Dr. Geiszler, on a daily basis.”

“Oh,” Newt says.

He gives up on the small talk after that. Hermann’s promised takeout arrives--a small carton of pad thai--as does Newt’s--a large carton of the spiciest thing they had on the menu--and they eat in silence. They have about three-quarters of the papers to go when Hermann suddenly sits back in his seat with a groan and rubs at his eyes under his granny glasses. “Bugger,” he says. “I can’t fathom this one for the life of me. I’m too tired.”

“It’s getting kinda late,” Newt agrees. “Maybe we should--”

“It’s not that,” Hermann says. “I had a glass of wine earlier, and--oh, it doesn’t matter. Your students need to learn how to write in a way that’s actually bloody legible--it’s like chicken scratch.”

Newt hops up and leans over his shoulder, squinting down at the page. Hermann’s hair smells nice, like something floral, and his skin has a small hint of what could almost be cologne. Why is Hermann wearing cologne? “Okay, let me see it,” Newt says, struggling to keep from getting lightheaded at the close proximity to Hermann. “I’m used to that kind of shit.”

“No,” Hermann says, drawing the paper close to his chest. “I am perfectly capable of managing it on my own.”

“Dude,” Newt says, “let me look at it, seriously. Hermann--”

He manages to tug it away from him. The handwriting is pretty bad, but the math seems to be worse. “Didn’t they do the readings?” Newt mutters under his breath. “That’s not even the right equation for the diameter. I gave them a cheat sheet, man.” They’re junior year engineering students--they should know this shit.

“I know what the equation is,” Hermann snaps. “I can grade it on my own. Give it back.”

“I didn’t say you didn’t know,” Newt says, “I said this kid--”

“It’s the radius squared--”

“Hermann, dude,” Newt says, “I know you’re--”

And that’s when Hermann grabs him by his skinny tie and kisses him, hard. 

They stare at each other afterwards. Hermann’s eyes are as wide as saucers; his mouth is hanging open. Newt’s tie slips from his fingers, which then fall limp to his lap. “Holy shit,” Newt squeaks.

Hermann is gone with a swish of his parka and a loud clack of his cane. And with a stack of papers Newt still has to somehow get through. Figures.

Their next few classes together are subdued. Hermann doesn’t interject any of his biting commentary or corrections, or even offer critiques of Newt’s lack of professionalism (when in the past his skinny jeans were such an easy target), and when the period is over, he practically sprints from the classroom before he and Newt can be alone together for even a second. It’s fine by Newt. Whatever. Maybe Hermann can get over it over Thanksgiving break, and Newt can try to get over the memory of Hermann’s strong fingers tugging him down, Hermann’s floral shampoo, Hermann’s chapped, wide lips against his, the little grunt of shock Hermann made as he did it, like he couldn’t believe his own audacity...

It’s not likely.

It’s December, the last week before finals, and Newt’s in his office bundled up in a sweatshirt (because the heat never seems to fucking work in here), revising a draft of an exam, and dreading the thought of trudging home in the snow, when there’s suddenly a knock at his door. Anticipating some overeager freshman here outside of office hours, he doesn’t look up as he says “Come in.”

A familiar clearing of a throat.

Newt shoots straight up to his feet. He knocks a mug of coffee to the floor in the process. “Hermann,” he says. “Uh. Hi. What--what are you doing here?”

Hermann shuts the door behind him, then takes a careful step forward. He’s back in his big dumb coat and big long scarf. “I thought I ought to tell you myself first,” he says, primly. “I’ve submitted a request to the dean to be reassigned to another professor next semester. Our research interests are far more in line, and I don’t imagine our personalities shall clash as much.”

“Oh,” Newt says, pretending his heart isn't sinking in his chest like a hunk of lead. Was he that bad of a kisser? He feels like he deserves a second shot at it--he wasn’t ready last time, you know, he bets he’d really wow Hermann if he had a fair heads up. “Are.. are those the only reasons why?”

“No,” Hermann admits. “They’re not.”

He crosses the room, and corners Newt against his desk before Newt even realizes what’s happening. “They’re not,” he says again, then adds in a murmur (lifting one hand to brush his fingers against Newt’s hair), “Dr. Geiszler.”

Neither of them talk much, after that.

[skamamoroma]

hey do you mind summarizing what happens with martino and nico? i heard they broke up??? i’m just really curious how they changed s4. i don’t have netflix lol and don’t speak italin

Oh I can’t sleep so I’ll do my best - you need to watch yourself though! NOTE: I’m not fluent Italian so if I got anything wrong, please tell me! I had help in understanding it so I think I got most of it!

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS: don’t read!

- Nico keeps some pretty big stuff about his past to himself but effectively he had feelings for one of the Rose squad aka Sana’s brother’s friend, Luai

- Luai is gay (I think, not 100% on his actual sexuality) but this was NOT like the Og. They had an actual THING. Luai’s family took his sexuality VERY badly and things happened

- The fallout from it all is how we have Nico with us now. Luai was the one filming Nico for his piano video.

- Nico doesn’t tell any of this to Marti and he’s clearly frightened but he still cares a huge amount for the boys. They were clearly a huge part of his life. At a party, Marti sees Nico looking at Luai across the room and Nico walks off to the Rose squad to say hello and they look very close. Marti looks betrayed. He reads into everything. Marti ends up losing his temper with the Rose squad and a fight starts because of what he saw.

- Marti feels lied to. Nico continues to lie to him because he doesn’t know how to explain it. Marti doesn’t believe him and Marti asks Sana about it but she respects Nico not to say

- Marti leaves Nico. They don’t really break up as such. It’s a little hazy. It’s more Marti freaking out and being terrified of losing Nico. He full on has what can only be described as a LOW POINT 😂 and is a real mess. He’s clearly so scared of losing Nico and their communication breaks down. He doesn’t speak to him because he’s too proud and frightened. I mean, Nico is his family!

- Marti is taken to Dr Spera by the boys and Elia calls Sana to help Marti understand. Marti is 100% heartbroken. Sobbing and genuinely his face broke me

- Marti moves in with Filo (scenes of hilarity!) and feels sorry for himself like a total ass. He is clearly freaking out because he believes Nico doesn’t want him, is going to leave him...

- Sana finds out that Nico has zero interest in Luai and that Luai is engaged! But he’s frightened to make it too known after what happened in the past. She tells Marti

- Gio and the boys tell Marti to stop being a dick. Marti says things are really tough and he feels like he’s going insane as Nico is being difficult and Gio (yes dude) tells him that Marti knew that things wouldn’t always be easy and that Nico tries so hard and basically tells him they love each other and to stop being idiots

- At Silvia’s birthday, Gio decides they should play a game of hide and seek and Gio chooses Nico as the searcher. Up until this point, Marti and Nico aren’t speaking and are sharing all these long puppy dog looks. Marti continues to be a dick about it all aka he’s frightened and feels he’s messed stuff up. The entire gang end up helping Gio to look them both in a bedroom. Marti is literally under the bed 😂 calls them all bastards. Typical Marti stuff. Nico asks if he can come under too and then we’re robbed of that scene 😫

- They’re back together, even if they weren’t necessarily broken up... just apart and, well, being idiots. It’s Marti’s birthday and they’re at the beach. Nico BUYS HIM A RED JUMPER (don’t think I didn’t notice that shit) and they banter and Marti says they need to be honest with each other and Nico says he will answer absolutely anything so Marti asks him a few questions about his past. Marti, like an idiot, spoils his own surprise birthday and they kiss which is seen by a fisherman who shouts homophobic bile

- Marti screams at him, calls him a dickhead, goes off on one and Nico calms him down, reminds him they don’t give in to people like that and to focus on the here and now. They have the sweetest cosiest cuddle and Marti asks if he can still throw the fisherman in the sea. Nico tells him no and smiles because Marti is an idiot but he’s his idiot and they’re both idiots together

It’s a LOT of mess and they’re genuinely given a LOT of time... and Marti has even more! But, for me, although it is messy, it works. Personally, I think all Evaks have the same experiences we just don’t get to see it. We do here and they both are in the wrong in different ways but both come with a LOT of complexity and a LOT of things that can make a relationship a challenge but through the entire thing, you can feel how much they adore each other. Marti is legit BROKEN by the whole thing and his own idiocy.

I love them both endlessly and I genuinely enjoyed seeing them tested. I trust Ludo with them. He knows Marti WELL. Marti has never been only sweet and gentle. He has always been spikey with a temper and blunt honesty. He can be a little jealous and manipulative. He can snap and can be insensitive. But he’s also incredibly brave and kind and loving and patient. He’s funny and loves with is whole heart. He’s sarcastic as hell, he calls you names out of affection, he’s horrendously literal... he’s VERY complex. But Nico also isn’t at all simple. Season 2 left them reaching a common ground and realising their love and we watched Marti realise he considers Nico his family and learning compassion. Here... that’s threatened to be taken away from him but all because of his own fear of being left and abandoned... he kind of orchestrates it himself 😂 albeit not helped by Nico keeping things from Marti and lying... again, out of fear that he’d perhaps mess things up if Marti knew. The whole thing is just fuelled by fear of losing the other!

The way they chose to test them, you can only do that with couples whose grounding is well established and I hope when you watch it you enjoy it! 💙

[acloudkat]

Gossip Girl 2.0

So. . . I was unsure of whether I was going to talk about this or not but… in the end, here we are!

I shall be talking about the Gossip Girl Reboot.

Now quick disclaimer and mild *excuse you* to HBO, please find ways to make your content accessible to Europe because there are those of us that are interested and unfortunately your "Max" service is US only and honestly i see no reasonable logic behind it. Therefore my means of getting access to this content shall not be discussed.

Extra disclaimer, there will be spoilers. Doi.

Now I am a big die hard fan of the original GG series and despite the outdated (to today’s standards) comparisons and slang, some of the topics hold up even today. For anyone curious or questioning my opinion, based on my generation, I am mildly in the middle as a Zelenial at 23. I did not grow up with GG, I learned about it when I was 14 but watched it for the first time when I was 19. Since, I have watched it up to 14-17 times; more than 10 for sure. So you can do with that as you please. The main reason I mention this is due to some articles and comments pointing out that maybe it’s a “Gen Z only media” or that “Millennials are just bitter cause it’s not theirs”. Keeping that in mind I will be as per usual showing the ups and downs of the show (so far and later on) from my own personal perspective.

After watching ep 1. (& now 2 which will be in a separate post after this) I have a few questions, comments AND concerns. So let’s get into those shall we :)

So let's do a little round up of our characters.

We have newcomer Zoya Lott that is moving to NYC on a Constance scholarship! But little did anyone in the show know, it was all a plot to get to be with her *half sister*. WHAT?! So the tldl on that is that Zoya and our other main character, Julien Calloway, share a mom! Mom, that i quote "left Julien's dad for Zoya's dad and the dads hate each other" because of which hate, they had absolutely forbidden their daughters from communicating. One thing led to another, a friend request was sent and this is basically the parent trap. . . . but for the kids. . .and they're aware of it cause they made it. . . I suppose? The parents haven't really been mentioned to matter in their plan, however, they do keep bringing up their middle names as "Zoya Jane and Julien Elizabeth" as clues left by their mother? Now some rumours around the web have connected the names to the Pride and Prejudice novels and while that would be extremely Gossip Girl-esque to do, and I am entirely up for that, hell yea!!! I'm wondering if it's as simple as... their mother's name was Elizabeth Jane... but maybe GG will be the one to discover that secret first? Other than that, Zoya is very much a very trusting "innocent type" character that probably has more past than we know about so it will be quite interesting to see how that elaborates going further into the series.

Then there is self-made influencer Julien Calloway. She is the new version of queen at Constance but as stated, they "don't do the patriarchy anymore". While she appears all smiles and kindness, personally i feel as if JC is kind of fake? She has things she cares about yes, but the moment someone or something interferes with her followers and her social standing or Obie (more on him later)

"the gloves come off and the claws come out" - Serena Van der Woodsen

When it comes to Julien I am honestly more curious to see who she is once you take away the followers and the media. Will she be an actual person or just a shallow obsessed spoiled brat? I just hope it won't be the typical story of "have to be perfect and have to have everyone like me because my mom left" ie. has mommy issues. That is how that cliche goes after all. So I am greatly hoping that's not going to be it for this one.

Obie Bergmann! We get introduced to Obie as Julien's boyfriend. Throughout ep 1, the things we learn about Obie are that he is basically the richest in the group, and lives in Dumbo. (irony from original GG for anyone that can guess it). He appears like a super nice and kind dude, a supportive boyfriend, kind of bland and tired of the relationship but the main thing that bothers me about him so far is his impossible to ignore "white guilt syndrome". For anyone unaware, "white guilt" is "remorse or shame felt by a white person with respect to racial inequality and injustice". While it's not a bad thing trying to make up for the in-equality in the world, here's hoping that's not his entire character cus that would get old quick.

Then we have the bestie, Audrey Hope. Audrey. . . is cold but to the point. Very analysing and observing. Definitely the type of character that would take all the info first and decide what to do after. I both like and am confused by her? Her cold mannerisms are quite enjoyable among the masses of drama and emotion I won't lie. However, i do predict a juicy threesome between her, boyfriend Aki and one Max Wolfe. Honestly, I am highly interested in how their relationship evolves.

Aki Menzies is kind of a mystery as of the moment. As to be expected with just 1 episode, we won't know too much about all the characters. He is the very supportive boyfriend that tries to keep the peace between everyone.

Max Wolfe on the other hand appears like the much more flamboyant version of Chuck Bass, if Chuck Bass had a supportive family environment and no limits on who he's dating. That's more or less for him but kuddos for his 0 hesitation to basically have a pic of his dick sent to everyone. I will never not find that hilarious. But again, between these three is my prediction for some juicy interactions. Cause to be fully honest, the chemistry is undeniable.

Monet de Haan. Ah. She is honestly the savage that we need around here. She is the control and the power behind Julien's brand honestly. I am curious how come she helps Julien with her brand rather than have her own? If we go off anything said in the episode, she is more feared than adored so maybe that's why? But Monet honey, fear can also have a following, just . . a different one.

And then there's Luna La, "The stylist" while we don't know much about her, some of her one liners are actively giving me life. Her and Monet are definitely a package deal and i wonder if there is juicier gossip there that we don't know yet.

Lastly, we have our new Gossip Girl. Young teacher, Kate Keller. I won't lie, i did not see us knowing who GG is from the get go. I am however wondering whether this will drag her down to the level of highschoolers (besides the fact that she looks younger than some of them xD) Something that is bothering me in the reboot however, is that technically, characters that represent adults, spying on minors??? Like they even make the point that "i shouldn't have these, i should be in jail" in regards to having almost naked pictures of the kids. Like it's not really okay??? In the original yea no one knew who GG was but they always knew it was someone their age. The teachers didn't care at those times. But they do now and I am not fully sure how okay it is.

And of course, the extras like some of the other teachers behind GG and the parents. We however, don't know too much about them as of now so we shall see soon. If any new characters are introduced they will be addressed but for now, onto the episode!

The half sisters plot is definitely interesting so I would love to know where the whole middle names thing will go. The story line I'm most interested in at the moment however is between Audrey, Max and Aki. I want to see that unwind into something horrendous but then beautiful! It has so much potential in my opinion. In terms of character development however i want to see who Julien is without all of her fame and followers. When the focus is not the media and the attention. I want to see that Julien.

The first episode definitely introduced us to a lot of things at once so far that is my take on them. I'm sure that in the future both the teachers and parents will be a bigger part but one thing is abundantly clear. Unlike the OGGG, there won't be more than maybe 2-3 seasons depending on the ages of the students. The teachers won't follow them onto college will they? Or will things drastically change along the way? It was rather amusing seeing them talk about all the old characters however, and reference the OG Gossip Girl. I am vaguely offended that they categorised twitter as "a glorified chatroom for memes for people over 30". Like dude. . . that hit me hard. I am happy that FB was never even mentioned as existing tho! Cause let's be honest that is not the "hip" thing anymore. But the rules they put down at the party definitely made my head spin. Had to listen to them twice to even get what was happening.

But that's probably enough of me babbling on about this xD If you want to find this on an apparently dying type of media, here's my blog post about it as well lol: https://acloudkat.wordpress.com/?p=960

[thereddeadredeemed]

An Ironwood meta that just randomly popped into my head.

So I’ve been skimming over a lot of the observations on RWBY from @bionic-jedi and aside from the glurge of absolutely adorable Nuts ‘n Dolts stuff (Which I appreciate, I ship it now), the part that really got my attention was all the shit going down around Ironwood. I don’t watch the show anymore, not that I hated it or anything I just sorta lost interest in the show itself, decided it ultimately wasn’t really for me and mainly just enjoy it through fanart and shipping now, but from what I gathered from bionic-jedi’s Let’s Watch Ironwood sounds absolutely fascinating in all the ways that I don’t think was intentional by the CRWBY but is still pretty awesome that it’s there.

Forgive me if I get the details wrong since I haven’t kept up with the show and all my info is coming second hand from @bionic-jedi​, but from I could gather Ironwood comes across as a man who:

- Is an experienced veteran fighter who individually is very badass with a proven tactical record on the battlefield

- Has the natural charisma to instill genuine loyalty and belief in his cause into his subordinates (To paraphrase Mass Effect 3 for a bit, you can pay a man to fight, you can pay him to charge up a hill, but no amount of money in the world will ever convince a man to believe in you), and does possess a genuine care for the troops under his command

- Will nonetheless still engage in abusive behavior if a subordinate is not performing in a way he believes is proper for their duty (Yeah I would consider forcibly hacking a sapient being to count as that)

- Carries around a very cool badass revolver as a signature weapon 

- While brilliant tactically, possess horrible long term strategic assessment skills that if allowed to be acted upon could have/did end in disaster

You know what that sounds like? Ironwood is almost a perfect RWBY equivalent for George R. Patton (with maybe a bit of Bernard Montgomery thrown in).

Like, I think that the CRWBY may have accidentally written a scenario that asks “What if Patton was the Supreme Commander of the Western Front instead of Eisenhower?” And the results are an absolute clusterfuck unfolding in real time, but I feel I gotta clarify this.

Patton is one of America’s most celebrated and respected generals, and for good reason. Dude was a badass with a keen sense of armor tactics and mobile warfare that proved repeatedly that he could beat the Germans at their own game. His personal bravery could also never be called into question, having proven his mettle in direct combat during both the Hunt for Pancho Villa and WW1, as well as putting his own life in danger being very close to the front lines numerous times during WW2, one time even riding a tank into a German-occupied village to inspire his men. He also did genuinely care for the lives of his men, only ever seen openly weeping when mourning for the lives of his fallen soldiers, treating his wounded troops with the highest respect, and properly giving praise when they did a good job.

For all of Ironwood’s faults, his own mettle is certainly not into question given he suffered such grievous injuries that half his body is now cybernetics, and the man for sure knows how to fight and fight well, so that’s one similarity with Patton. He has also inspired real loyalty in Winter and the Ace Operatives, and in turn he does seem to actually care for them, and he had no real reason to give Yang a new prosthetic arm (and rather quickly fast tracking her an incredibly advanced one at that), so he’s not completely heartless or devoid of empathy. 

However, Patton was a man focused on the tactical short term in lieu of long term strategic planning, and possessed with some horrendous character flaws that bit him in the ass on several occasions. One of them being the, even by the standards of the 40′s, deplorable manner in which he treated soldiers wracked with what we in the modern day would diagnose as PTSD. The man flat out did not believe PTSD was a real thing, thinking of it as cowardice and...you know what? I’m just gonna let the Wikipedia quotes say it all, I bolded some choice quotes for convenience:

Private Charles H. Kuhl, of L Company, U.S. 26th Infantry Regiment, reported to an aid station of C Company, 1st Medical Battalion, on 2 August 1943. Kuhl, who had been in the U.S. Army for eight months, had been attached to the 1st Infantry Division since 2 June 1943. He was diagnosed with "exhaustion," a diagnosis he had been given three times since the start of the campaign. From the aid station, he was evacuated to a medical company and given sodium amytal. Notes in his medical chart indicated "psychoneurosis anxiety state, moderately severe (soldier has been twice before in hospital within ten days. He can't take it at the front, evidently. He is repeatedly returned.)" Kuhl was transferred from the aid station to the 15th Evacuation Hospital near Nicosia for further evaluation.

Patton arrived at the hospital the same day, accompanied by a number of medical officers, as part of his tour of the U.S. II Corps troops. He spoke to some patients in the hospital, commending the physically wounded. He then approached Kuhl, who did not appear to be physically injured. Kuhl was sitting slouched on a stool midway through a tent ward filled with injured soldiers. When Patton asked Kuhl where he was hurt, Kuhl reportedly shrugged and replied that he was "nervous" rather than wounded, adding, "I guess I can't take it." Patton "immediately flared up,” slapped Kuhl across the chin with his gloves, then grabbed him by the collar and dragged him to the tent entrance. He shoved him out of the tent with a kick to his backside. Yelling "Don't admit this son of a bitch," Patton demanded that Kuhl be sent back to the front, adding, "You hear me, you gutless bastard? You're going back to the front."

Corpsmen picked up Kuhl and brought him to a ward tent, where it was discovered he had a temperature of 102.2 °F (39.0 °C); and was later diagnosed with malarial parasites. Speaking later of the incident, Kuhl noted "at the time it happened, [Patton] was pretty well worn out  ... I think he was suffering a little battle fatigue himself." Kuhl wrote to his parents about the incident, but asked them to "just forget about it." That night, Patton recorded the incident in his diary: "[I met] the only errant coward I have ever seen in this Army. Companies should deal with such men, and if they shirk their duty, they should be tried for cowardice and shot."

Private Paul G. Bennett, 21, of C Battery, U.S. 17th Field Artillery Regiment, was a four-year veteran of the U.S. Army, and had served in the division since March 1943. Records show he had no medical history until 6 August 1943, when a friend was wounded in combat. According to a report, he "could not sleep and was nervous." Bennett was brought to the 93rd Evacuation Hospital. In addition to having a fever, he exhibited symptoms of dehydration, including fatigue, confusion, and listlessness. His request to return to his unit was turned down by medical officers. A medical officer describing Bennett's condition

And yet another incident like this:

Private Paul G. Bennett, 21, of C Battery, U.S. 17th Field Artillery Regiment, was a four-year veteran of the U.S. Army, and had served in the division since March 1943. Records show he had no medical history until 6 August 1943, when a friend was wounded in combat. According to a report, he "could not sleep and was nervous." Bennett was brought to the 93rd Evacuation Hospital. In addition to having a fever, he exhibited symptoms of dehydration, including fatigue, confusion, and listlessness. His request to return to his unit was turned down by medical officers. A medical officer describing Bennett's condition

The shells going over him bothered him. The next day he was worried about his buddy and became more nervous. He was sent down to the rear echelon by a battery aid man and there the medical aid man gave him some tranquilizers that made him sleep, but still he was nervous and disturbed. On the next day the medical officer ordered him to be evacuated, although the boy begged not to be evacuated because he did not want to leave his unit.

On 10 August, Patton entered the receiving tent of the hospital, speaking to the injured there. Patton approached Bennett, who was huddled and shivering, and asked what the trouble was. "It's my nerves," Bennett responded. "I can't stand the shelling anymore." Patton reportedly became enraged at him, slapping him across the face. He began yelling: "Your nerves, hell, you are just a goddamned coward. Shut up that goddamned crying. I won't have these brave men who have been shot at seeing this yellow bastard sitting here crying." Patton then reportedly slapped Bennett again, knocking his helmet liner off, and ordered the receiving officer, Major Charles B. Etter, not to admit him. Patton then threatened Bennett, "You're going back to the front lines and you may get shot and killed, but you're going to fight. If you don't, I'll stand you up against a wall and have a firing squad kill you on purpose. In fact, I ought to shoot you myself, you goddamned whimpering coward." Upon saying this, Patton pulled out his pistol threateningly, prompting the hospital's commander, Colonel Donald E. Currier, to physically separate the two. Patton left the tent, yelling to medical officers to send Bennett back to the front lines.

As he toured the remainder of the hospital, Patton continued discussing Bennett's condition with Currier. Patton stated, "I can't help it, it makes my blood boil to think of a yellow bastard being babied," and "I won't have those cowardly bastards hanging around our hospitals. We'll probably have to shoot them some time anyway, or we'll raise a breed of morons."

There were serious cries for Patton to get sacked after theses incidents, his reputation and job only saved because Eisenhower knew his tactical command abilities were simply too valuable to give up and so was only temporarily relieved of duty instead. Point I’m trying to make here is that while Patton could definitely hold sympathy and understanding for his men, it was contingent on them acting in a way he believed was properly honoring their duty. If they erred from his ideals of a how a proper soldier behaved, he could lapse into some seriously abusive behavior disturbingly quickly.

I can’t be the only one that sees some parallels between this and Ironwood hacking Penny am I? A man who cares for his troops but as soon as Penny acted in a way he deemed to be out of line, immediately sought to violate her autonomy and rights as a sapient being to force her back into line and back into his ideals of how a proper soldier should behave. Perhaps he wasn’t as violently physically aggressive about it as Patton, but arguably what Ironwood did was ethically much worse than slapping the shit out of and threatening people.

Patton also wasn’t the type to worry about the long term consequences of his actions. Before he died in a car accident shortly after WW2 he was unceremoniously sacked from his job after making one too many aggressive comments towards the Soviet Union, potentially nudging towards a potential Operation Unthinkable, and carelessly allowing former Nazis back into political power. Both of these were unthinkably horrible for obvious reasons.

There is one key difference between Patton and Ironwood however. Eisenhower was keenly aware of Patton’s potential shortcomings and he was kept on a leash and out of the highest levers of power, thus preventing him from ever being in a position where his worst traits would allow him to truly fuck up. Ironwood however I feel got Peter Principle’d hardcore and was promoted way above his level of competence (Always a risk for men who gain a reputation as “fightin’ generals”, see: John Bell Hood), where his positive qualities of personal physical bravery, combat skill and tactical leadership is wasted and his worst qualities of hyper-focus on short sighted tactical victories over long term strategic goals, paranoia and distrust leading to an excessive need for control, and moral cowardice are allowed to flourish.

And we see the consequences of it. He may have started with solid pragmatic ideas, but his insanely one-track minded obsession with short term strategic goals like making sure he has control over the Winter Maiden is costing him big long term strategically by burning bridges with potentially valuable allies and isolating himself and his command. Valuable time and resources that could have been spent coordinating forces against Salem wasted on various shenanigans involving Penny, RWBY and JN_R. Especially devastating given that Atlas is the only industrialized military power worth a damn in this world and isn’t reliant on mostly independent and unorganized Hunters and Huntresses (individually skilled but too few in number and takes far too long to train each one to reliably stop a Grimm invasion), and he’s just wasting the resources of the world power best able to hold the line against the Grimm.

Next part is a bit of a non-sequitur and really long so I put it in between the dotted lines if y’all ain’t interested and want to skip on over to the relevant Ironwood parts.

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Getting a feel for the strategic situation in Atlas, I get a strong sense that what Atlas needs more than anything else right now is a Dwight D. Eisenhower. Eisenhower the the exact man needed to lead the Western allies, and I can’t see anyone else doing as realistically as good a job as he did, this is a hill I’ll die on. It wouldn’t look like it at first, the man had never once commanded a unit in battle (a fact that made many of his “actually seen combat” rivals bitter), and his softer, more easy going disposition would seem at odds with the alpha-male take charge image cultivated by men like Patton and Montgomery that would be stereotypically expected of a general, much less a Supreme Commander. 

However, that calm exterior hid a man with a sharp eye on the necessary strategic goals needed for victory, expert resource and personnel management skills, the humility to listen to his subordinates and admit his own mistakes, and most importantly, both the smooth negotiating skills and the iron will necessary to deal with larger than life figures.

The western allies were made up of many different nations and factions and filled to the brim with what I would call (to put it lightly) strong personalities. This was an organization that involved: 

- Franklin D. Roosevelt

- Winston Churchill

- Charles De Gaulle

- Bernard Montgomery

- The aforementioned Patton

- Occasional dealings with Stalin even

All of them larger than life personalities, all of them strong willed and possessed of their own ideas of how to win the war as well as their own political/personal motives, and all of them vying for dominance in the strategic decision making of the Western Allies. It was like herding a clowder of cats, but all the cats had frggin tanks and bombs. Eisenhower actually managed to cut through the bullshit and resist all the arm twisting and actually got all the different countries, armies and leaders together to act upon a united plan. He did this while still being able to control his subordinates worst impulses and (mostly) was able to resist the shitty plans put up and embrace the good ones (for the most part, Montgomery did manage to convince him to approve of Operation Market Garden, and it was the last major German victory of the war mostly due to Monty’s mishandling). Tactical battle ability was largely irrelevant for Eisenhower’s role, and his ability to see the big picture clearly and being able to maneuver through the internal politics meant everything to his success as a Supreme Commander.

If Eisenhower or an Eisenhower-esque figure was in charge of Atlas during this latest season, you’d probably get a drastically different turn of events. An Eisenhower would not be so quick to drastic action as Ironwood was. An Eisenhower would probably sit down with their subordinates, hear out all their arguments for why or why shouldn’t a specific action be taken, then calmly consider their actions. An Eisenhower would probably then say “Working with an enemy agent to hack into the Winter Maiden is a dumb idea” and proceed to create plans on how to coordinate all available forces in Remnant to best fend off Salem.

Atlas as a whole doesn’t really strike me as the type of organization that would raise an Eisenhower though. Militaries are always offshoots of the cultures that create them, and I don’t believe it to be a coincidence that a Supreme Commander like Eisenhower would be American. The country was literally founded on democratic ideals and it was enshrined very early into its history that the military would always be subordinate to the civilian government. This precedent makes it necessary that anyone that rises high enough in the military must be able to respect a strong civilian presence and be able to work with both internal and external politics. Any general that rises high enough must be half-general half-politician by necessity (there’s a reason why former military often do have successful political careers after retiring from service, including the aforementioned Eisenhower who eventually became the 34th President of the United States).

Atlas just doesn’t strike me as having that same sort of cultural framework. If anything the Atlas military strikes me as having a cultural framework closer to WW2 Germany where tactical efficiency and high tech weaponry/tools is prized above all else, often at the cost of long term strategic goal setting. Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan never set realistic goals for themselves and predictably got steamrolled eventually. Occasionally you’ll get an online thread asking “What if Germany/Japan had smart top leadership during WW2?” But that’s a trick question. A WW2 Germany/Japan with sensible leadership...just isn’t WW2 Germany/Japan at all, it was intrinsic to the identity and character of those nations in that time period. Similarly, I just don’t see an Atlas military that sees a potential Eisenhower in their ranks and thinks to promote them to High Command as opposed to just shuffling them off as an aide to some random officer and never consider them for higher promotion. An organization that prizes short term tactical victory over long term strategic goals just isn’t the type of organization to do that.

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Thing is though, I think just from what I gathered, Ironwood just shot up to be my favorite RWBY character because of how frigging fascinatingly horrible he is. He’s not an entirely awful person (at least not at first), but his own paranoia and fear combined with his habit of confusing short term tactical advantage with long term strategic goals leads him down the path of utterly despicable actions while convincing himself that it’s all for the greater good. All while being an idiot and wasting the legitimate game-changer resources of having an actual army when everyone else is still dicking around with hunters and huntresses as their only defense.

Smart money is he’s gonna die, it seems to be where he’s heading. If CRWBY’s writing staff has some serious cajones however, it’d be really cool if they pulled a Catra on him and see how low they can make him sink before making him hit rock bottom, realize his mistakes and force him to work hard for a redemption arc. I dunno, maybe I’m giving him too much slack but I actually do feel for him a little bit. The dude was clearly an alright guy that had the world fall down on him and just wasn’t suited for the massive responsibility that circumstances forced on his shoulders. He’s still a soldier that genuinely wants to protect Atlas, he’s just too short sighted to see how his actions just aren’t what Atlas is gonna need in the long term. Maybe a harsh talking to by Glinda would do him some good (I still ship IronWitch don’t @ me). I dunno, I just think that a redemption arc would be a lot harder to write than just killing him off, and thus would be that much more satisfying to see it pulled off right like what Noelle Stevenson did with Catra’s character in She-Ra.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Hol Horse

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

So last year I thought it was a good idea to try and review all of the enemy Stand users in Stardust Crusaders in a totally random order. The results were… mixed. Some of them I think came out okay, but others? Not so much. One of them was just an entire backhanded attack against some guy who decided to say “No one likes your analyses” because I think ProJared was a creep. It was, quite frankly, a mess, and I never bothered to revisit it and never thought I would, even though I still hadn’t covered the glorious, wonderful human being who is Hol Horse.

Well, now, after playing Heritage for the Future and All-Star Battle as well as just becoming a bit more knowledgeable on JJBA, I’ve decided to not only give Hol Horse his dues, but also at least briefly go back over or cover the other Stand users and give them a rating or an updated rating, as the case may be. So buckle in, this is gonna be a long one, and it’s all gonna start with everyone’s favorite incompetent henchman.

Hol Horse is probably one of the most amazing characters Araki has ever created. Hol Horse is in possession of a powerful Stand, The Emperor, which is literally a magical gun that fires bullets he can control the trajectory of. By all accounts, Hol Horse should be the single most dangerous foe that the Crusaders face, more than even Vanilla Ice. This guy should be able to shoot them all dead without a second thought! There’s just one tiny little caveat:

Hol Horse is a fucking moron.

This man is cowardly, incompetent, and just the punching bag of cruel misfortune as all his plans constantly go awry and he is constantly knocked on his ass. And yet, Hol Horse is still the most beloved enemy Stand User of Stardust Crusaders, and it’s not hard to see why. Because despite all of his bumbling, Hol Horse just oozes a sort of cool you just don’t see every day.

(For best results, listen to this the whole time while reading the following).

Motivation/Goals: Hol Horse is one of the few henchmen of DIO who is motivated purely by his own greed… at least, at first. Eventually he has his ass handed to him one too many times, and he decides to try and assassinate DIO. This goes about as well as you’d expect, and Hol Horse – not just part of it, the ENTIRE Horse – is so scared out of his mind that he decides, yep, loyalty to DIO is the way to go! It doesn’t work out, but hey, he tried, right?

Performance: Imami Williams gives Hol Horse that raspy, American charm he needs in the anime adaptation. With his voice and the animation combined, we get to see our favorite smarmy sharpshooter who can’t shoot for shit shoot his shot and miss every time, and it is simply glorious.

Final Fate: Hol Horse kidnaps Boingo and forces him to work with him to finally get his revenge! With the prophetic skills of Thoth and the raw damage that can be done with Emperor, there’s no way they could lose! And yet, as is always the case with Thoth, things go horrendously awry and Hol Horse, despite having the ability to control the trajectory of his bullets, ends up shooting himself and knocking him out of part 3 for good.

Best Scene: Really, just the entirety of the episodes where he teams up with Boingo, especially when he tries holding up Polnareff. Considering what comes after and what came before it, it’s just the dose of lighthearted fun needed before you watch all of your favorite characters get brutally murdered by DIO and Vanilla Ice,. 

Best Quote: There is only one line it could be, and it’s Hol Horse’s response to Thoth’s suggestion he kick a woman in the neck: “Listen, Boingo... I am the nicest man in the world. I have girlfriends everywhere. I might lie to a woman, but I'll never hit them! It doesn't matter how ugly they are! Because I respect women!”

That’s right, everyone. Hol Horse drinks Respect Women Juice.

Final Thoughts & Score: Hol Horse is simply astounding. The character is such a colossal screwup that he shouldn’t be as good as he is… yet he is. The dude is gifted with the most incredible power imaginable, and yet somehow he is never able to do a goddamn thing with that power! You control where the bullets go, dude! How can you not hit anything?! It’s interesting how his cowardice and lack of motivation makes him a perfect representation of the inverted Emperor tarot card, but hey, tarot motifs are par for the course with the Stand users.

But there’s something charming to how pathetic Hol Horse is. He’s always plying second banana, he’s a dirty coward who turns tail and runs when things aren’t looking good for him, he never wins a single battle, he didn’t even kill the one guy it seemed like he killed… but throughout it all he still has this sort of smarmy charisma to him that makes him impossible to hate. It’s no wonder this guy has girls all over the world, because he is a world-class charmer. There’s also how Hol Horse is just a character who really, really lives by his own personal philosophy – that is to say, he always likes to be #2, never going into a fight without backup. It’s kind of refreshing to see him always stick by this, even to his own detriment; it’s hard to hate a man who’s principled to that degree. And, of course, this man respects women. Good on him.

It helps that Hol Horse’s inexplicable popularity has led to him getting his time to shine in outside media. Heritage for the Future has two versions of him, his regular form and one that partners him with Boingo, and in skilled hands his Emperor finally gets to live up to its deadly potential. And he’s no slouch in his return appearance in All-Star Battle, and what’s more impressive is in that game he is part of the base roster while Joseph and Iggy, two of the main heroes, are relegated to DLC! You heard me right: the bumbling cowboy who did not win a single fight or even come close to it and spent a lot of time shooting himself managed to beat out out two iconic heroes from the same part onto the roster! Horsey Man must be doing something right.

As this video shows, Hol Horse is one of the most influential characters in the JJBA franchise, having helped to shape the franchise going forward and helped to inspire the traits that made beloved characters like Guido Mista, Gyro Zeppeli, and Yoshikage Kira as legendary as they are. Hell, Hol Horse is just so awesome he almost got to be a protagonist, but Araki decided that Horsey was too similar to my favorite big-titty Frenchman, Polnareff. This means Hol Horse never got his time to shine as a hero, and so stayed a villain til the end… but hey, can he really be that sad if he gets a 10/10 on Psycho Analysis?

Actually, maybe he wouldn’t like that. He likes to play second fiddle to others, after all. But I guess that’s just the curse with these JoJo villains who want to not stand out; they always end up being the best and most memorable characters.

Anyway, now that we’ve got the best of the best out of the way, it’s time for...

Psycho Analysis: DIO’s Other Henchmen

I’m just gonna give my brief thoughts on these guys. Most of them are pretty one-note oneshots, but there are a few who rise above that and manage to be something else entirely. These guys were a learning experience for Araki, and his enemy Stand users of the week definitely improved with later parts, with Vento Aureo really cranking it up to 11. 

But for now, we’re stuck with these guys.

Gray Fly: I actually stand by my opinion from my original review of him; he’s nothing incredibly memorable, but he’s a solid start to the adventure and he is directly responsible for diverting the journey onto the course it ended up going on. Without him, things would have likely played out far differently. A 5/10 is still a good score for him.

Fake Captain Tenille: He actually gets bumped down to a 2/10, due to my changes in how things are scored. He’s not amusing enough to be in the “So bad it’s good” category of the other 3s, he’s just really lame and forgettable, and he still somehow manages to lose when he has the advantage. What a dweeb.

Forever: If you think the monkey boat fight is dropping in score, you’re mistaken. Forever remains at an 8/10 for being such a delightfully weird curveball that helps set the tone for the franchise to follow.

Devo: One of the weirder playable character choices from Heritage for the Future, and certainly not one I like too much; he’s also a random event that is pretty useful in All-Star Battle’s online campaign, so that’s a good mark for him. If nothing else, he gave a good showing of Polnareff’s skills when under pressure, so… yeah. I think a 5/10 is good enough.

Rubber Soul: This review I regret because I was backhandedly responding to that guy who weirdly decided to bring up my distaste for ProJared in a review of Arabia Fats and Kenny G. I do mostly stand by what I said; Rubber Soul is one of the more amusing minor foes, if only because of his ridiculous performance as Kakyoin. Still, it really sucks he was just a clone character in Heritage for the Future… put he gets points for  having the iconic cherry-licking as a taunt. 6/10 is where he remains.

J. Geil: Again, my opinion hasn’t changed: J. Geil is a mountain of wasted potential, but at the very least he makes for a good antagonist for his brief appearance and hey, he’s the one who helped bring us the beautiful hunk of man that is Hol Horse, so I’d feel bad giving him less than a 7/10.

Nena: I honestly think Nena is one of the most boring Stand users of the part, which is sad because her episode gives Joseph the spotlight. She’s just really gross and uninteresting, and you’ll likely forget her after her episode is over. 2/10.

ZZ: ZZ is not particularly great, and his design is just there to be a joke, but it’s hard to totally hate a guy who manages to roll references to Christine, Duel, and the album cover for Eliminator by his namesake into one. I think he’s more of a 4/10, but probably on the higher end there. He’s not great, but he has enough going for him to keep me from hating him.

Enya: So if I thought that J. Geil was a waste of potential, I feel this even more so for his mother Enya. Despite being hyped up as this big, intimidating right-hand woman to DIO early on, she gets one appearance where her Stand is defeated by Star Platinum pulling a power out his ass and then is unceremoniously killed by Steely Dan of all people. I will give her this: her interactions with Polnareff are absolutely hilarious. But when all you have going for is some jokes, don’t be surprised when you end up with a 6/10, which you’re pretty much only getting because even despite the mountains of wasted potential you’re really not that bad.

She do be looking hot in the OVA tho.

Steely Dan: My opinion is unchanged; he’s a solid 7/10 oneshot douchebag. Nothing more, nothing less. His level in the PS1 game seriously blows, though.

Arabia Fats: I was too hard on this guy. While I meant everything I said, and his episode is boring filler, does it really make him a bottom of the barrel all-time worst villain? No. It just makes him a crappy joke character. 2/10.

Mannish Boy: I regret not getting to this guy last time, because aside from Forever he’s probably one of the most insane Stand user of the part, seeing as he is an infant. Like, he’s just an evil baby who can kill people in their dreams. And he gets defeated by being force fed his own crap. Much like Forever, it’s fun to speculate where exactly DIO found this guy; did he just go to a nursery and start jabbing babies with the Stand arrow? Did he meet this guy at a Cairo night club? What exactly is Mannish Boy’s origin? He’s just so utterly and hilariously inexplicable. He’s definitely a 7/10; he doesn’t quite have the shock factor that Forever did before him, but let’s not pretend an evil talking baby Stand user isn’t one hell of a weird twist.

Cameo: This guy really lives up to his name; his Stand is the one that gets the most screentime, with the actual Stand user being relegated to a – you guessed it – cameo appearance at the end of the fight. Thankfully, his Stand is an enjoyable take on jerkass genies and gives a pretty sad and disturbing episode that not only features my man Polnareff, but also marks the point where Avdol returns and brings “Hell 2 U!” I think he deserves at least a 7/10, even if this is mainly for Judgment. Still, a Stand is a representation of the user’s soul, so I think it works out.

Here’s the Stand:

And here’s the man behind it:

Midler: Midler is one of the single most interesting characters from the pre-Egypt half of Stardust Crusaders, and is the point where Stand users really started to get interesting. Her Stand, High Priestess, has a really funky and unique design, and her battle serves as the final roadblock before the Crusaders arrive in Egypt. Despite never appearing onscreen, with only her unconscious body being shown at the end of the fight in a way that obscures her, she got to appear in Heritage for the Future with an awesome sexy belly dancer design and a badass moveset that makes her a really fun character to play as. Taking everything into account, I think she just barely scrapes into the bottom of the 8/10 pool, though really this is mainly for her playable appearance.

N’Doul: My opinions really haven’t changed on him. He’s still an 8/10.

Oingo & Boingo: These guys are, in a word, hilarious. In between the grueling, brutal fight with N’Doul and the later fights in the part, these guys bring some much needed levity to the proceedings. Oingo gets an entire episode where he just completely bumbles about as he attempts to impersonate Jotaro to assassinate the Crusaders, failing at every turn and only managing to blow himself up in the end. Boingo fares a little better, eventually getting roped in to Hol Horse’s scheme to get some revenge, which leads to one of the funniest episodes of the entire series as Hol Horse and Oingo hold up Polnareff. I think they collectively get an 8/10 for being two of the funniest Stand users in the part. They even get their own unique end credits in the anime (with Hol Horse joining in on the fun when he teams up with Boingo)!

Anubis: Again, my opinion is unchanged, though I must say him having technically three playable appearances in Heritage for the Future does make me have at least a little more fondness for him. Black Polnareff, Chaka, and Khan are all amusing characters to play as and all have some awesome theme music. Introducing the concept of Stands being able to exist independently of their Original user is pretty neat, as well as the idea of a Stand that can switch users like it does. 7/10 is still what I’d give it, but I think that it’s pretty telling that this is probably the “weakest” character in the Egypt arcs in terms of being a villain, and yet he’s still pretty cool.

Mariah: Completely unchanged. She still deserves an 8/10, because her episode is hilarious, her playable appearance in Heritage for the Future is a blast, and she’s just really frikkin’ hot. I’m not gonna lie, she’s probably my second favorite enemy Stand user out of the Egyptian ones. I may or may not want her to step on me.

Alessi: I’m going to be honest here: Alessi is my favorite of the Egyptian Stand users. He’s an ax crazy coward with pedophile undertones who is just an utterly demented and sick individual with a seriously intriguing Stand that de-ages its victims. It’s a damn shame he never crossed paths with Joseph and de-aged him, but when he’s just such a hilarious and hateable lunatic with an incredibly fun playable appearance in Heritage for the Future (complete with awesomely creepy theme music!) it’s hard for me to give Alessi anything less than a 9/10. Attaboy!

Daniel J. D’Arby: My opinion is honestly unchanged, but I think I’d bump him down to an 8/10.

Pet Shop: Again, unchanged really. It’s hard to give a character as busted as he is in Heritage for the Future anything less than a 9/10 any way you slice it.

Telence T. D’Arby: Opinion unchanged, 8/10. I don’t have much else to say here, besides Xander Mobus rocks.

Kenny G: See Arabia Fats above. I got irrationally mad over a dumb joke character. He’s not going above a 2/10, but he’s not worth really getting mad about.

Vanilla Ice: I still think he’s the only enemy Stand user besides Hol Horse who deserves his 10/10. My opinion of him remains unchanged, but I would like to say he’s easily one of my favorite characters to play as in All-Star Battle.

Nukesaku: Ok, he’s not an enemy Stand user, he’s just some weird vampire… zombie… thing. Still, I feel he’s at least worth briefly mentioning, if only because he’s probably the only easily-defeated joke villain Araki did from the first three parts who is particularly memorable. Wired Beck and Doobie are really not all that memorable, but Nukesaku at least elicits a few chuckles – he even gets cameos in Heritage for the Future as well as getting to be a stage hazard in All-Star Battle. For what he is, I think he deserves a 5/10.

And with all these enemies taken care of, that just leaves one more Stand user to talk about.. one whose Psycho Analysis has been sitting in my drafts for a year now...

[sprinkledonion-blog]

Another real long “I don’t like Bumbleby” post (Part 1)

So this one was a long time coming. I kept postponing it, polishing it, making it look the nicest I could, but it’s finally here. And it’s quite long. Let’s just, uh, start.

The first thing I wanna say is, I watched RWBY without interacting with the FNDM, just at the start of this year. I didn’t know what Bumbleby was, nor its impact in the overall FNDM. I was blissfully unaware of what was going on, so I dived in with a clean, open mind.

First impressions and development (or the lack thereof)

I didn’t think about Bumbleby. For those who know me, I ship characters VERY easily and I don’t really care if it’s a gay, het, lesbian ship, I can and I WILL ship them. I shipped Ruby and Penny like crazy. Ruby and Emerald made my heart jump. Jaune and Ren looked insanely cute together, and Sun and Weiss had very nice potential. And in V2, in the Burning the Candle episode, when Yang had a heartfelt conversation with Blake, and hugged her, I was like “oh?”. It was the first time I had seen Yang this vulnerable, and while I really ignored her through the first volume, this scene made me realize she was more than it meets the eye. And she chose to be vulnerable… with Blake. Oh?

Then Blacksun happened. Oh.

I didn’t like Blacksun. I still don’t like it. It’s predictable and boring for my tastes. But it has a privilege Bumbleby doesn’t: development. 

I will never understand this choice. Barb said it was planned from the beginning. The question is, then: why didn’t y’all spend time developing Bumbleby? Bees will tell me it was developed, but I’ll suggest y’all to take off your rose-colored glasses and revise those interactions. I totally understand the warm, fuzzy feeling when your ship talk, even look at each other (my ships are 99% rareships so I take what I can get), but deep down you know reality isn’t like that. I’ve seen the 40-minute essay about Bumbleby; yes, you can attribute to every interaction a romantic feeling, but I can do the exact same with Jaune and Ren, and fans will roll their eyes at me and tell me it isn’t like that. The only remotely romantic interaction was the whole Burning the Candle episode. It was a nice episode. 

“But Onion”, y’all will say, “are you going to ignore V3 onwards? The plot completely ties Blake and Yang together”. Same as Blake and Sun. Yes, Yang lost an arm for Blake, and yes, she feels betrayed and everything, but… why should I think it’s romantic? Blacksun is being developed at the same time, following common romance tropes that apply to the rest of canon ships, so why should I think it’s any different? Yang could have lost an arm for Weiss and I have no doubt she’d have felt the same. (I also think Weiss would have called her and checked on her every day, until Yang even heard her in dreams.) 

That brings me to my second point. Let’s trust Barb, it was planned from the beginning. Then what was Blacksun supposed to be? “It makes the point that romantic relationships don’t always work and sometimes it’s better to stay as friends.” Valid point, but… Blake? Sun? Why did you keep at it? Blake, why did you kiss him on the cheek? That’s misleading, for the audience I mean (Sun already knows the script). When I friendzoned guys, and when the girls I know friendzoned guys, absolutely none of them kissed the dude on the cheek. The most they did was give a pat on the back or shoulder. Let me know if it’s an American thing to kiss guys you friendzone, because maybe it’s the cultural barrier that keeps me from understanding “yes, they’re friends and nothing more!”. 

And yes, I know Sun told Neptune it was never about that. What was it about then, Sun? Were you trying to get Weiss’ attention by making her jealous? Were you trying to get Blake to paid for the food? I don’t buy that Sun explicitly flirted with her just to be friends. Else I’m an alien and it’s my second day on Earth, or Sun tried to convince himself to feel less pain. Or who knows? Maybe he really was flirting with her to be friends. Maybe he flirted with Neptune too. Writers, give us proper answers. And no, FNDM, filling in the story holes with “show don’t tell, there’s a logical explanation for it” is still fanon and doesn’t count as canon. Show don’t tell is a rule, not an excuse.

Anyways, after the whole coming and going, Sun finally leaves the scene for Bumbleby to thrive on sudden romantic interactions, which are a little late at most. It’s confusing. Yang never felt jealous when Blake showed attraction to Sun. They didn’t choose to clearly spend time together, at least with the “we’re partners” excuse. I’ll delve into this point later, but for now: we had Blacksun, suddenly we have Bumbleby, and we’re supposed to have been cheering for them the whole time. Uhm, was this supposed to be a plot twist? 

Okay, I may be biased on this one, but listen to me. I don’t like this kind of plot twist. Oh, we have a heterosexual couple… OR SO YOU THOUGHT! THE TRUTH IS THAT THE LESBIANS ARE CANON! WE’VE TRICKED YOU, WHAT MADMEN WE ARE!

Get it? My problem isn’t that Blacksun isn’t canon. My problem is that the writers are using a wlw relationship as a tool, a surprise, manipulating and tricking the audience. It doesn’t feel genuine--it feels like they just wanted to cause controversy--or sell. At the end of the day, Bumbleby is way more popular than Blacksun, and a big part of the FNDM came for the bees. Don’t y’all ever wonder why voice actors don’t talk as much about other characters, or Ruby herself? The main main character? 

Let’s bee honest: at this point in time, the biggest thing keeping RWBY afloat is Bumbleby.

“And what’s the problem with all that?”, bees may ask. “What’s wrong with feeding us some good bees?” Ship whatever you want, y’all. But I don’t like getting ships shoved down my throat and treated as peak LGBT+ representation when it didn’t get the time and treatment it deserved. Not all that glitters is gold, guys. (Especially Yang.)

Racism

Oh boy.

Racism is quite the great deal in Remnant… at least that’s what the show tells us. It doesn’t show it. No, Velvet doesn’t need to get stones thrown at her to show us discrimination. But, you know… if there was discrimination, I don’t think she would be in Beacon in the first place. Or that Leonardo would be the headmaster of Haven… Adam Taurus, pack your things and go home; there’s no faunus discrimination worth the fight. (Wait! Don’t go yet, you still have work to do.)

What does racism has to do with Bumbleby?, you may ask. Well, it’s Blake’s main plot. I think it has a lot to do with Bumbleby… but uh, it seems I was wrong. Yang isn’t interested in it, so I guess it’s just Blake’s problem. Until uh, Adam makes a scene, but that doesn’t have much to do with the fact he’s a faunus. It’s still pretty distasteful of a human to kill a faunus, but I’ll tackle that point a bit later.

Blake’s faunity? is very important to her. If she’s an important person to Yang, why doesn’t Yang show interest in it? She didn’t even defend Velvet, even though she could have punched Cardin in the face. She sits around sighing “It must be hard to be a faunus” and annoys Blake with a lighter. This only shows me Yang doesn’t care about Blake’s identity, and not in a good way. 

I know, I know, I take the faunus issue to heart. It must be because I’m a person of color. I could talk hours and hours about the horrendous execution of faunus racism (reinforcing stereotypes, horrible analogies and really unfortunate implications), but I’ll limit myself to Blake for now.

Yang doesn’t care. She’s not one bit interested in reading faunus’ history, in asking Blake about her experiences, in thinking how she could help as a human. She’s like those people who say “I’m blind to race” as if it were a good thing. Yeah, you don’t discriminate, but you dismiss other people’s culture and background. It’s part of who we are. Some of us will take it better, some of us worse, but acknowledging Blake’s identity in this case could do wonders. That way Yang could show interest in her as a person, her motives to fight, her struggle. 

But she didn’t. In fact, she did quite the contrary.

Bonus: I’ve recently seen a… hysterical headcanon. As it turns out, some bees were excited at the idea of Blake getting branded and Yang going berserk, later saving all the faunus in the mine. It was supposedly justified by “faunus needed a reason to respect her” and of course, Bumbleby angst. Do I need to point out the White Savior trope and how blatantly racist and harmful it is? Do I really need to? Considering faunus are supposed to represent the civil rights movement? Especially knowing Adam’s previous treatment? If faunus were explicitly Black, this would be… well, this is a disaster, but it gets swept under the rug. As a woman of color, this headcanon just makes me want to cry.

I think I’ll have to divide it into two parts so it doesn’t get too heavy. Part 2 is here. 

[illegiblewords]

hm-- i'm going to be the obvious one and suggest lahabrea (or hades, whichever someone hasn't already sent!)

YOU’RE IN LUCK, NEITHER HAS BEEN SENT!

LAHABREA

First impression: Wow what a boring villain, very 2-D with shitty dialogue and bland motives wearing the all black spooky-like. And we are supposed to be very impressed and intimidated just like Hydaelyn. When is Heavensward?

Impression now: My friends I have 180′d and now love this poor sad loser to pieces. Emet-Selch revealing that no, Lahabrea really has been being a lameass this entire time and why the hell did we take him seriously when he had such horrendous decision-making throughout was the beginning. Seriously, I basically yelled laughing when the “crowning moment of idiocy” line happened. Because until that point the models for Ascian behavior were Mr. I-laugh-at-explosions-and-yell-about-Zodiark Lahabrea, Sir I-don’t-talk-much-but-when-I-do-it’s-about-Zodiark-and-balance Elidibus, a certain I-hate-all-these-people-because-Zodiark-likes-them-better-WAITAHOTCHICK Nabriales, Ms. I-fucked-up-and-will-never-live-it-down-so-no-longer-show-my-emotions Igeyorhm, and a couple of oneliners. None of whom have seemed overly self-aware. The second that line came out of Hades’ mouth, it became clear that YES we can judge them all and NO this is not some kind of standard Ascian behavior we should just accept. None of them have to act that way. They’re just weirdos.

Then Shadowbringers happened and there was a period of “wait how did Amaurot’s top orator turn into the Lahabrea we know” and learning that Lahabrea was weak because he kept body hopping despite knowing it was damaging him.

Aaaaand at Gamescom, bless Oda and Yoshida, they gave the single smoothest fix and I am eternally grateful. Workaholic Lahabrea is a gift. He probably doesn’t even know what he’s saying most of the time and is just trying to give the impression he knows what he’s about before dropping a monster and running off.

But then combining all the info and playing detective with past scenes he’s actually really sad. Still lame and stupid funny at times but also sad as hell when dots get connected. At this point I figure he’s motivated by guilt complexes, denial-flavored-tempering, and fear of both falling asleep because nightmares and how much blood will rest directly on him if he fails. Because I think I remember seeing that Zodiark was his idea. And literally everyone except for him, Hades, and Elidibus died in connection with that.

I think he’s a Stepford smiler in the sense that internally he is deeply, deeply fucked but he distracts himself in how ridiculous a lot of the FFXIV situations are and laughing at the resulting blow-ups. Space-dragon-ghost-explodes-out-of-the-moon-to-wreak-havoc is a hell of a thing for the history books. I also think he probably knows or assumes people don’t like him and that he deserves it. I also think that while the other two Unsundered get frustrated with him, he’s probably also been hiding the level of fucked up he still is from them in a lot of ways and they assume to varying degrees that he’s being irrational, hot-headed, arrogant, and stubborn with it. I think in actuality he’s somewhat aware but is semi-deliberately hurting himself and alternately doesn’t think he has a right to stop or is horrified by how much less capable he is after spending thousands of years essentially hurting himself through body hopping and overwork. Reprimanding him probably doesn’t work because he already has a lot of reason to detest himself. I also think he probably tries really hard not to think about himself on a personal level because once he falls into that pit he’s not getting out easily, so there’s a solid amount of repression going on too.

I could go on. He is a sad clown to me who tries to cover up how tired he is by vomiting five syllable words.

Favorite moment

See, there’s funniest moment and there’s most interesting moment. His intro at the Thousand Maws of Toto-Rak makes me giggle a lot now. Most interesting to me is possibly his exchange with Elidibus after Nabriales’ death or when he shows up late to a meeting and discreetly tries to explain why he should be allowed to work again. 

Idea for a story

:[ I don’t know if I can do it because I am still very happily committed to my Hades/WoL sequel, but following the story Stalemate I did I could see a situation with that specific WoL checking the Eye post-Shinryu and freeing Lahabrea. Very scenario-specific and all but I have some ideas about that.

Unpopular opinion

Idk if unpopular so much as different?

I’ve seen a lot of Lahabrea variants that I think are really cool and interesting! Some are very serious and dignified. Some are intimidatingly hot-tempered. But for me, part of what I find intriguing are the ways he doesn’t quite add up with the persona he’s trying to portray. I also really like small, cute human elements in characters that let you fall in love with them a little. This goes even for characters I find reprehensible because IMO it’s important to take both the endearing and the appalling together when forming opinions. It’s still fiction and I don’t think it translates to “if you like a character who committed murder then you like murder” or anything. I do think though that if the audience steps back and has to say point blank whether they think the character is a good person, a bad person, or somewhere in-between (regardless of liking them) that kind of thing becomes important.

I can understand why people would write off the iffy early writing to just spin Lahabrea as a highly respectable, unflappable, untouchable dude. I definitely still enjoy stories where he’s written that way. It’s just not so much how I read him haha. I think he tries to be that but there’s a lot of comedy and tragedy going on with him internally that hits hard when embraced. And I think being assumed as immune to any kind of vulnerability or real connection would probably fuck with him a lot too. Before the Ascian we know, he was considered one of the most exemplary citizens of Amaurot. It would be weird imo if he was completely isolated even then, and seeing how he got from Point A to Point B has a ton of pathos potential.

I also like him a lot despite thinking Thancred is absolutely justified in hating his guts, but it doesn’t come up as much with me so I could see there being some ???

Favorite relationship

XD I just did a WoL/Lahabrea shipfic personal challenge so naturally that influences me a bit so far as shipping goes. That said I am a multishipper. I could see him with either of the Unsundered being interesting. I’ve seen some cute stuff with Igeyorhm too but have less strong of an opinion there currently. Non-shipping I think he’s probably closest to Elidibus, has a sort of testy relationship with Hades but they ultimately do care about each other, and possibly has some level of closeness with Igeyorhm too. I also think that Nabriales dislikes Lahabrea more than Lahabrea dislikes him and that can cause some interesting problems.

Probably in-general I’m just very here for dysfunctional Unsundered trio.

Favorite headcanon

The workaholic thing and the self-destructive thing are technically both canon. His being lame specifically because of being tired all the time I think is probably it because the rest just follows for me haha.

As a smaller, more mundane headcanon I think Lahabrea is a super ugly sleeper most of the time. Probably drools.

Will do a post for Hades too and tag it but need to do other stuff for a bit! BUT THANK YOU!

[drivingsideways]

Hyena, not very coherent thoughts after finishing it at 2 am last night! (spoilers)

-the last stretch (episodes 12-16) was kinda stretchy and boring for me. I found the whole murder/ take down the bad guys plot a whole lot overdone, and unsatisfying, emotionally.  The comedy bits- again fell flat for me- esp that horrendous bit where Geum Ja and Hee Jae pose as a couple to get some evidence for the case they’re solving. The only thing good about that arc was the “hyena pack” that forms around Hee Jae/ Geum Ja. 

- Hee Jae’s character arc from ep-1 through the end comes through beautifully, though. I’d written earlier that I was getting tired of him being kinda dumb? But now I get that it was really about a dude going from a privileged ass to being still a privileged ass, but more self aware about it, and I really enjoyed him. He slowly transforms into somebody that Geum Ja can respect  and trust , and I love that it’s a male character who has to really work for that, for once, than the other way around. (It also helps that Ju Ji Hoon is like, hmm, let’s say, easy on the eyes)

- Geum Ja’s character arc, on the other hand- hmmm. I’m not going to say she was “shafted” toward the end, but yeah, I would have expected something MORE, something that really packed a punch emotionally. We still get those moments- with Hee Jae, with Ji-Eun and Boo Hyeon-Ah- but stuff like the abusive father arc doesn’t really end satisfyingly. We barely get like a 2 minute scene between her and the abusive dad (compared to the long scenes between Hee Jae and his mentor/boss/father figure and also his biological father). However, though her character arc is partially unsatisfying, she’s still one of the best written female characters I’ve seen of late, and oh god, a real relief when compared to some other shows I’ve watched of late (SoPJ and TKEM)

-But what really kept me invested in the show, and bingeing on it, was tbh, the slow burn romance between Geum Ja and Hee Jae, and boy DID THE SHOW DELIVER. I hear the show was written by a first time writer (Kim Roo-Ri), and like, the relationship was a drug made specifically for me being injected into my veins. Writer/director/actors ALL came through to make one of the most deliciously intimate romances I’ve seen recently. Honestly, DELIRIOUS about them.

- I don’t feel the need for a second season, mostly because I suspect that it would be more of this legal drama thing that I feel they’re not very good at, but uh, I suppose I would also tune in just for my babes?

So yeah, definitely 8/10 would recommend. 2 points off for the mediocre plotting + last stretch, and not giving me enough of the Kim Min Joo/Geum Ja/Ha Hyae- Won female power throuple of my dreams. 

[monkey-network]

Onizuka, The Showbiz Pedo Punisher (the Idol Kidnap Arc)

Great Teacher Onizuka is both one of my favorite manga of all time and one of the most shamelessly horny men you might meet. He’s an ass and fake ass man, nosebleeds at the sight of hot bods, hell the initial reason for becoming a teacher was to potentially score with hot milfs in the area. I say initially because he realizes that the school system and traditional education in general is horse shit so he found that being the guiding key for kids and adults of the school to change their life around was a much suitable avenue for him. He’s still perverted to be sure, but he no doubt draws a line. What do I mean by this? Well if I may, like before, I wanted to spin a tale of one of my favorite arcs of GTO: Paradise Lost just because. Spoilers for anyone interested. First I’ll see to set the stage.

Natsu Ooishi is an up-and-coming actress, known to be on television, commercials, magazines, and exhibition shows like the Tokyo Auto Show where we first meet her. She’s also a student on Onizuka’s class among other teen celebrities and while she's rarely in his class, another student filled her in on Onizuka’s legacy as a teacher so far. Getting to brass tax, she requests something heavy things of him.

She makes it clear that many eyes are on her and while Onizuka is hesitant with the hasty idea, especially when he has to pull off the kidnapping tomorrow, he has little time to refuse before she hands him a gift not long after taking off. The gift in question?

More on this later

Onizuka goes along with her wish. After pretending to be a cop to pull over Ooishi’s agent to then knock him the fuck out, the kidnapping is underway. Ooishi disguises herself and the two take a train to Kyoto while news immediately spreads of her disappearance. Onizuka is indifferent throughout the trip, concerned about why she wanted this as chapter 2 & 3 of this arc expresses Eikichi’s intuition that something’s up with her, especially with this conversation:

Ooishi: “If I died, would people be sad? [...] What if that actress was only pretty on the outside?”

I wanna skip a bit ahead to them at the beach. Ooishi is having fun while Onizuka stands as serious as he’s been all that day. Things die down when she shares that booked a hotel room for the both of them. Onizuka, stern as he’s ever been, stops her. And like always, he sets things straight with her: 

Onizuka: “You’re forcing yourself. This ain’t something you should bear with. Not when you’re actually scared as hell. Truth is, you don’t want to, right? To have sex for your job, or with me. You don’t gotta act all grown up, ya know. If you hate somethin’ then come out and say it...”

To pull back the curtain, Natsu’s kidnapping was a means to escape the unfortunate business of Hollywood. To escape the predatory business of it. Enter Morinoshin Itou, 40 yr old general tv producer where he gave Ooishi got the starring role. In exchange, he openly “checks” her out. I’m talking extreme sexual harrassment, full on groping, “measuring”, and Fujisawa as always doesn’t shy away from making Itou look as disgusting as possible without making him literally look like a caricature creep or make things come off as too tasteless. At the same time, Ooishi essentially feels the need to take it in the efforts to maintain the gig while her agency is in on the fuckery; basically telling her to suck it up for the team. This has gone on for about two months until a week before the “kidnapping.”

Itou “invites” her to his weekend complex to “spend the night”, getting the okay from the agency with the ultimatum that if she refuses, he’ll never hire from them again. The agency basically sold her off to the bitch boy and her entire career is being put on the line thanks to them. So that’s where she turned to Onizuka.

That’s why she gave him the condoms, if she were to have slept with anyone, it would be someone she’d find trust in herself. So jumping back to Onizuka and Natsu on the Beach, the latter crying because of all the bullshit she’s kept hidden. Things get good Onizuka gains a smile, ensuring her that he’ll set things straight with the producer and the agency. Cut to the witching hour where Natsu goes back to the agency where they set her up with the producer from before. She obliges and leaves to find Onizuka waiting. Onizuka puts on a wig and a soul patch, and the two head for a throwdown. 

This is where Goblin Pro. steps in...

At Itou’s complex, Natsu shows up and he invites her in. Itou has everything set up, and by everything, I mean the cameras he’s set at many angles of his bedroom. Counter measures to threaten the actresses he sleeps with that might plan on ratting him out. Ooishi gets comfortable, and Itou throws her onto the bed. Unintentionally exposing him and the agency’s entire plan of extorting young actresses to sleep with him in exchange for acting gigs, she expresses that she recorded everything to her new boss. Enter Onizuka with a fucking chainsaw.

Disguised as Ooishi’s new agency president, he shakedowns Itou’s entire scheme. With a cop friend outside to threaten Itou with charges of obscenity, he destroys the dick’s camera system while getting photos of them thanks to Natsu’s camera glasses that got the recording of Itou exposing his plan. All while giving us one of the most cathartic pages in the respective chapter where he says this as he generally grips his whole face.

Onizuka is much a pervert himself, but he no doubt draws a line. If you ever read this yourself know that Onizuka has tried to do some pervy things, but never to such a disgusting extent and Fujisawa makes it clear that while Onizuka can be questionable, especially to westerners, there are people like Itou that gladly do far worse. Since the beginning of the series, Onizuka is never ashamed of who he is and what he likes, but he always understood objectifying women like this is a severe low regardless of who they might be. Be it abusive boyfriends or pedophile creeps in power, Onizuka will make it his life’s work to avenge the victims and make the abusers’ lives an utter nightmare. Not only does Onizuka bust this dude’s operation, gives the man a pussy haircut with the chainsaw, blackmails him 4 times to give her a acting role in a show, goes to the agency to set the record straight, gets Natsu a better actual agency to work under, he lucks out against the yakuza boss that has a hand in the showbiz. In the end, thanks to Onizuka, Ooishi gets to live out her dream with her purity intact.

For me, this arc well established how Onizuka is well enough a bonafide man. Dude will happily go above and beyond to help those in need, especially those who go through something as horrendous and scarring as sexual harassment. He’s probably one of the only horny on main characters suplexes creeps for a living. While the things he does to win are generally unconventional enough to feel impossible, that’s what makes Onizuka such an ideal and likable character. He’s somebody some find problematic, but he proves time and time again why he’s the greatest at what he does. He stomps on the impossible to give his students a better chance at life, all while generally staying true to himself. Don’t know what else to say,

He’s the Best

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

things that are exhausting in the new Overwatch Competitive:

when people queue for a role, and REFUSE to do it, it’s not like the old days when another could sub in for the tank or the healer if they’re throwing. Now you’re trapped in a match with what you hipe is some beligerent kid (and not a 40 something dbag) on the team REFUSIG to heal, or tank or dps. But moving about the map so they don’t get kicked for inactivity.

You can’t leave or YOU get hit with a miniban, and a points docking.

------

In the last match, the player who went Lucio (FOUR) and the one that went Ana/then Baptiste (SPECIAL) were an absolute fucking nightmare.

They would NOT heal, the team was being slaughtered. 

When we begged them to heal, SPECIAL said “I’m not your fucking personal doctor, there’s health packs around the map you fucks” etc. And the Lucio was just, you know, telling us to stop annoying them, right?

Well, the next thing anyone knows, when the match Chat is informed BOTH healers are throwing and to report them. Normal enough, these guys aren’t even TRYING to pretend they’re playing. 

They’re not ina group, by the way, just two individuals who decided to be assholes together

-----------

The next thing we know, FOUR and SPECIAL start cry-typing into the MAtch Chat:

What do you mean?

we’re doing the right thing?

etc.

Then there was this confusingly long paragraph, all in lower case sobbing at the other team about how (specific team member osiris) was like, being racist or something over the headsets. You know, the one thing that the opposing team can’t verify... because each team has their own match voice chats.

Well, apart from the fact it was complete bullshit, because that player wasn’t in voice chat, and was typing their responses because they didn’t have a mic... it was just, startling to see someone who was very clearly a white male aussie dude ~20-25ish and hopefully not more, playing the ‘I’ve been called racial slurs’ card.

For one, what the FUCK. For two, it deligitimises everyone who actually asks for assistance with the issue?

Also, as the team is begging the other team to help report the throwers//match saboteurs, because we can’t win, we can’t leave, and they’re harassing everyone over team chat and voice chat...

FOUR pipes up with this ALL CAPS RANT about being called the n-word, and how it was offensive to him, and so on and so on. It literally looked like something you’d find on like reddit or 4chan, for dudes ‘practicing to be SJWs’ on other sites, to start shit (you know the posts). 

The entire team is frantically trying to live and make it a respectable amount into the map so it won’t feel so horrific to lose this way, and these guys are acting like the world’s saddest, most put-upon creatures in the WORLD in match chat.

Apart from being highly pathetic, to the point of embarrassment, it was just generally awful. Like... why would you spend all that time queuing for a certain role then refuse to play it? Let your teammates die so you can like, ride on walls on the opposite end of the map, or get killshots at the expense of your team’s lives, or just start drama.

When asked why they did it, if they felt shame for making the team lose, by another member of the random assortment of players...  FOUR replied along the lines of “Next time you leave the house your mum’s spam purse will be on my mouth” which was, possibly the most horrendous way I have EVER heard of ANYONE saying ‘I’mma fuck yo momma’/

and one of them, maybe FOUR again, said they were delighted we would lose, it made them feel good.

>I should point out that, after the initial crytyping incident, I muted written and audio chat for SPECIAL, so I have no idea f they were still fucking about.

------

But it’s like ????????????????

Then there’s other games when you have excellent everything, except the damage players always go both snipers. And never change. Or choose something ludicrous for the map you’re on, and a hero that would only work if you changed the entire team composition...

Then they rant in chat or over the headsets for the longest time, about their ‘trash team’ and how ‘no one heals’ but it’s like, Buddy you have run your ass into the enemy team and died immediately 16 times because you can’t play very well why won’t you switch? or Hey we’re like 5 v 2 here and I am not turning around to leave the only tank on teh field contesting the payload to come heal your useless ass all the way on the other side of the map (sniper) no matter how many times you spam for healing.

My least favourite DPS are the ones standing riiiiight next to a healthpack, but they won’t use it, because you (the healer) need to come to them. Or the ones who think you should stand on teh roof and put your shield down over and over and over to protect them and their bad aim, like... 

------------

The new system was designed to make things fair, so we actually played comp with 2 healers / 2 Damage Players / 2 Tanks.

And that’s a great concept!

But consider: 

+When someone drops out, or two someones drop out mid-match because you lost a round, and then the match won’t let an alternate player in. So it’s 6 vs 4 or less. Once was the only person left on my team, and the other team had a full 6; because a 5 stack left, and it didn’t cancel the match. And it kept trying to throw me for inactivity when I was trying to stealthily snipe a few of the (highly amused) enemy team on the payload... as a mercy. LMAO

+When no one in a certain slot will do their job and the team is being slaughtered, there’s no way to do anything about it. You can’t switch to that type and take over. You’re fucked.

+Some people are just... born assholes. There’s actually a really good song about it, “Were you born an asshole, or did you work at it your whole life?  Either way, turned out fine. ‘Cause you’re an aaaaaaaasshole tonight!” This would backfire. 

The grease-lined pit of hell that is being trapped in bronze tier. Was silver, when I first tried a few hundred levels back, that was fine, but you get a run of bad games, teammates who won’t work, etc. and they demote you. There’s no way OUT and therefore the chance you end up with teammates like the aforementioned, is like 500% higher. 

Still, next match I hope for a win. But it was like... why did you queue all this time to be an asshole about it? lmao

[shattered-catalyst]

So this  isnt for anything other than just to say what happened just so I feel heard and I can explain why I cant be as energetic and socially active on here. Its not a callout post or to be reblogged/shared by people. Its not to get anyone in trouble or to cause any reaction. It’s just for me to let it out and reclaim this space again. Its been a year since it happened and I guess I’m just still noticing how badly it has impacted my PTSD. How much its changed me as a person both online and off, and this isnt a woe as me thing either this is just me feeling a need to be heard and explain my own behavior over the year and also to make one simple request of you guys: no matter what you do, always treat your rp partners as people first and writers second.

Because I feel myself becoming bitter and that isnt who I am and I dont want to be someone like that. Or like this. I want to be me again

The person who did this wont be named mainly because they dont deserve it and yall dont need to know. Their behavior when I confronted them more than cements the impression that they dont see any harm in what they said and how they reacted. And again this isnt about them though In A Way I suppose it is? it takes two to tango but it takes one to encourage someone to kill themselves.

This is going to be long because I need to inform on the activity that lead up to this  because it didnt just happen over night- though in a way it did. But you need a better picture of this person because apparently they present a really great face that only a few of us see the manipulative and toxic side of.

This person was always very judgemental and hyper critical. I witnessed a lot of very negative and toxic behavior from them but I was naive and just hoped they would mature as they grew older and gained more independence. I thought it was just a toxic friend group and that perhaps she would recognize her self destructive and immature behavior and grow from it. 

My first red flag should have been when they accused me of being their ex girlfriend SOLELY because I was living in PA. I hate to break it to yall, but PA is a big ass state and has a lot of comic book loving ladies. Thankfully I have never met this person IRL and I hope I never do.

They tried to pull me into making fun of other muns on discord, including mocking sensitive pictures from a mun’s personal blog. I blatantly said it wasnt okay and made me uncomfortable and she continued laughing and making jokes about it with her friend group on discord. She kept trying to pull me into it no matter how often I tried to change the subject.

Her group of friends also did this thing where one of them would go interact with a mun an they would take screenshots of the convo and share it with the group and mock the mun they were interacting with. Whether it be their presentation of character/grahics/writing style/ etc.

The other red flags I ignored? How much she complained and mocked other muns and compared them to me; if anyone did anything or said anything she disagreed with it was an instant blow up. She took EVERYTHING personally including other people writing the same characters she did, having differing headcanons, not knowng obscure details about canon, etc.

She once tried to make fun of a new writing partner I had who was writing the same character, and I had to break it to her that this new person could write in her first language if she wanted to; im being very vague but let me just say if you and your character have the same first language and you want to write in it then its completely WRONG for a white mun to try and make fun of you for it.

She once suggested I had stolen pictures off her pinterest when she sent me a moodboard request for my character. Jokes on her I didnt even know she HAD a pinterest and I had gotten all my pictures from the ‘green aesthetic’ tag on tumblr. Which I told her but she kept pushing the idea on me I had stolen them. I of course dismissed this and put it on the back burner despite the alarm bells going off.

This hyper critical and paranoid behavior continues with everything from other canon blogs making similar head canons/ vaguely similar graphics/ to fanfiction authors having similar head canons/plot ideas.

My penname Citrus? I didnt want one. I didnt want it. She demanded I have a pen name and if not she was going to call me Cat. Now as yall know I dont like being enmeshed with my muse so I keep myself separate from them. I didnt like being called Cat and I told her that explicitly. She kept doing it. So I had to make a pen name because she refused to respect my boundaries.

When the Deadpool movie came out she DEMANDED I change my FC to reflect the movie Despite Not Changing Hers to reflect her own characters new look - which might i add is fat erasure. It was clear then that the rules and standards she held other people to didnt apply to herself. I was labeled problematic for not giving into her demands to change FCs (which I have a literal logical reason for not changing and im not explaining that here)

So I shouldve left. Long story short I didnt because every friendship I’d been in until around this time had been abusive and toxic. I thought this was all normal behavior for people to have and I was convinced I was just being critical of someone elses opinions/ insensitive etc. Thanks to my colleagues in graduate school and to several of you on here I learned that ‘hey dumbass friends dont treat your ass like this’.

Im leaving a lot out about the shit she did/said to me but those snippets give you an idea of things.

Leading up she decided to leave fandom and asked we didnt talk about marvel I said cool okay and didnt talk about marvel with her. If I did I would ask first if she was okay if we talked about one small aspect I thought might excite her/ she would like to know about but it wasnt often that happened because she began ghosting me. Hard. She stopped replying to me at all over discord when I would try and talk to her how we used to about our lives. She didnt answer any asks for munday or character development, in fact she blatantly ignored me.

I checked in a couple times with her to make sure I hadnt done anything to make her uncomfortable and she said no. May I emphasize she said no here. Im emphasizing it right now. She said no. She said everything was fine. So when I was like hey dude this is super triggering for me can you send me like a hi every once in awhile just so I can know we’re okay because its super triggering for me. Yall know what she did? She ‘lmao’-ed. she thought that was hecka funny. Yeah triggering ‘Citrus’ is hilarious isnt it? No it isnt and I shouldve cut her ass off right then and there.

Heres where shit gets confusing: she kept fucking talking about marvel to me. Id get messages at random times about marvel and then silence for weeks. I vividly remember during this period I was cleaning the museum vault and she kept messaging me about her marvel fc’s and how she wouldnt get a plotline and how characters were wrong etc.

I remember being REALLY confused because she had said NO MARVEL. But here she was bitching at me about marvel. In fact thats all she did when she did talk to me. Which was only like three or four times during the ghosting time period. She’d bitch about marvel and then vanish.

Shed make claims about not watching her dash and thats why she never responded to me/ interacted with me. She’d say she wasnt talkng to anyone while I see her on the dash TALKING TO PEOPLE and Id like to point out Ive told her I would be fine ending anything as long as she let me know.

but she followed me on every blog and throughout this time period she made and followed me on numerous ones. She kept reaching out sporadically to bitch about her fcs/how horrible marvel was/ and thats it. 

It was extremely confusing because if someone doesnt want to talk to me I assume they will; 1. unfollow 2. block 3. say goodbye 4. ghost and stay ghosted.

Not cycle through behavior rapidly. I asked her a few times if we were good and that I was confused and I got another ‘lmao’ reaction so I assumed we were good. At this point I still have no idea what was going on/ what message I was supposed to be receiving other than confusion.

So following this is heavily suicide tw and I encourage you not to read this part and to scroll down until the suicide tw is over which is highlighted in bold- if you’re triggered by that because I care about those who follow my blog.

So thats when this shit happened. I had tried reaching out to her on a different fandom platform to try and maintain the friendship. Because she said numerous times that we were friends. So like I reached out thinking maybe she just didnt want a marvel blog period.  It wasnt too long after that that she suicide baited me.

I was in a really bad place and had been for awhile and when I posted about how the only thing holding me on was the new comic coming out and specifically said “im seriously suicidal and this comic is the only thing giving me hope #idk what to do anymore ”. I was surprised when she liked the post.

I was three steps into a four step plan. I had everything but the method planned out and was just waffling along with that. Because yknow its complicated and you do it you make it count amiright. Right. I was in a fucked up place. I had just realized I was gay, I was horrendously depressed, I was in considerable physical pain, I was working 70 hours a week, my OCD was at an all time high and the only thing that kept me on this earth was a fucking comic book. You hold onto what you need to yknow?

WELL APPARENTLY NOT

Because this person who doesnt read her dash? This person who doesnt want to talk about anything? Liked that post where I specifically stated I was suicidal and sent me a discord message saying “dont have hope”.

Thats all it said “dont have hope”

Now I know what youre thinking but hold on because it gets worse.

I said something about being confused I dont really remember because I was pretty out of it. I do remember she kept going on about how horrible the comic would be and that it would be a piece of trash. I remember telling her I was really numb and in a bad place and couldnt feel anything. I remember her sending me screencaps and continuing to go ON AND ON about how it wasn’t worth reading.

I remember with gross intensity how someone who said they were my friend was taking away the only thing that was keeping me alive.

I dont remember how the conversation ends. I called out of work for the next three days. I was catatonically depressed and unable to really move. I didnt eat either. I went to internship, work, and school in a state of dissociation.

 I took screencaps of everything and set them aside for later. IDK what I was going to use them for but I set them in a folder on my desktop, looking back I regret what I did next; because I deleted them. I deleted them because I thought maybe she had been manic or drunk and hadn’t realized the scope of what was happening. I wanted to talk to her about it and clear things up because I believed in her. I believed there was no way she would be so callous as to do that on purpose. No way would someone try and get someone they called a friend to kill themselves. So I deleted the screencaps and my post on tumblr. I deleted all evidence to protect her and I encourage you all never to fucking do that even if you think that person misunderstood the gravity of your situation. Because if you’re wrong no ones going to believe you.

I remember shifting between intense depression and total denial.

I spent the rest of that month in and out of intense dissociative states when I wasnt in class or working with my clients.  During the middle of October my sister sent me pictures of a litter of puppies and I was like ‘well, i really need to either kill myself or make sure i dont’. I spent a few days continuing to waffle with that decision but then i remembered my mom cosigned my loans and I cant leave her with that debt because fuck we cant even afford my funeral to begin with. So I adopted a dog, I named him Julio to remind me to keep living and he finally came to me on halloween.

He was the only reason I left bed on my days off. I tried not to think about it but I did.  

I continued to spiral with heavier dissociative episodes and vivid nightmares about it.

SUICIDE TW OVER

I waited until Christmas to ask her to clarify the situation and let her know I no longer felt comfortable writing with her. I reminded her what happened and told her to check her discord if she wanted to see for herself etc.

She sent two long asks of combative, emotionally abusive, and gaslighting accusations. The first thing she did was say I needed to provide evidence if I went around making accusations like that. Then she cascaded into how I always talked about marvel *points up to where i explained what happened earlier*.  She tried gaslighting me like a champion and tried turning me into a horrible person the only problem is everything she was accusing me of doing was the shit she was doing to me. Everything. 

Even if I was bad at any time I had given her numerous chances to tell me I was overstepping a boundary- she always said no. I gave her numerous times to unfollow me if she wasnt interested in interacting with me- she never did. In fact I had unfollowed her that month because of her behavior towards me and she hadnt even noticed.

I let her know I could tell she was angry,  and that I didnt take receipts of private conversations because I believed in settling things like adults, and that if she ever wanted any proof it was all in her discord anyway. I let her know she could contact me to apologize but otherwise I didnt want her on any of my blogs and I told her the first thing she should have done wasnt demand receipts but she should have asked if I was okay. Its a real reflection of where her priorities were when she demands evidence rather than checks to see if a writing partner is okay.

Even if I did something horrible it doesnt warrant someone trying to get me to end my life. 

I was notified she put a post on her blog apologizing to her followers for being a bad friend and that she was a horrible person and ofc everyone was like ‘noooo youre perfect’ and its like ya thats not for me who hasnt followed her in months- thats to save face.

Her friends blogs kept visiting my profile and going through the month where this happened.

Everything she did and said was to save face. Her blog and her reputation are the only thing she cared about. She has never approached me to apologize or anything of the sort and I doubt she ever will. I would hope she would never do this again and I hope she has grown as a person since. That her life is better and her mother is okay, that shes happy and learning. 

 I know by posting this I will never receive an apology- then again i never expected one to begin with. I could go through all the trouble of restoring the deleted files but to be honest it isnt worth it because theres no room in my life for that type of toxicity.

Since this happened I:

I have stronger episodes of depression and dissociation since.

My PTSD has increased and I have week long spikes in anxiety attacks, depression and decreased self worth if I even see her around the rpc despite being blocked, blacklisted on xkit etc.

Have more difficulty completing basic self care tasks due to an increase in depression and a decrease in self worth.

I have nightmares about this event and her to this day a year later.

I cannot interact with the RPC how I once did as I fear seeing her on my dash or any sort of information getting back to her about me.

It took me half a year to see the character she wrote as as safe again and for awhile I couldnt even look at him without experiencing an anxiety attack.

I keep having nightmares. Its been a year and I still have nightmares about this.

I find myself having more difficulties connecting with people online especially on this blog. I’m constantly on edge when interacting with people and I feel spikes of anxiety at the merest thought of someone talking about me to her.

I find myself unable to have confidence as a writer or creator online because I have been reminder of the cement wall between oc characters and their canon counterparts.

I cannot go out and just follow anyone and be friendly and trusting with them anymore, even with people I already know. In the back of my mind is a constant reminder of how she and her friends used to check up on people and pretend to write with them/ interact with them just to take screenshots of conversations to share with the group. I have become a paranoid little bitch in the past year is what Im saying. like theres 0 need for that shit.

I blocked most of the people she interacted with simply to save myself from being triggered by her blogs/ mentions of her and that isnt fair to those people.

I remember the photo incident and how people derived such joy from mocking someones body. I can think of so many incidents of them making fun of others and I remember how that could be happening about me rn, and I wonder if anyone would stick up for me like I did for the other mun.

 I hope by posting this I can try and return to the person I was before this happened. I can try and not be so bitter and reach out again to others. That somehow I can continue working on making tumblr a safe place for me again and not a PTSD laced minefield.

I would like to remind this isnt a callout and I request if you know who this is about you dont say anything to them. This isnt for them. They have NEVER reached out to apologize for their actions. They have NEVER checked to see if I was okay after that. They have NEVER shown any remorse for encouraging me to kill myself and while I hope they’ve grown from the situation and will never do it again I doubt I will ever get closure from such an event. But i DO hope by writing this I can take this place back.

Consider this my first step towards bringing this up to a therapist.

 Consider this another step to me taking this blog back and feeling safer here; and maybe just maybe Ill make up a cool pen name for myself and own that shit.

If you’ve read this far thank you for your patience with me, and I request you always treat your writing partners like the people that they are. 

This post is not intended or written to leave this blog and therefore I request you not reblog it or share segments of it with ANYONE. If I find you have shared anything on here without my explicit permission I will block you.

‘Citrus’

[advernia]

i’m amazed that i’ve been active for at least a couple days straight??? is it the effect of lesser fe3h playtimes + the silly coworker writing challenge at the workplace??? oh well ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

since i remembered i was trying to make work commentary a thing here, more rambling / author’s notes under the cut!

jul 6th // ikerev

push your way through the cracks is the first edgar/mc i’ve written here and while i’ve mentioned there that edgar is my fav out of the cast, i fear that i’ll probably take me a very long time to write another one bc... he’s my favorite. i noticed i have the tendency not to write much (or have finished works) about ships i really, really like despite... you know, liking them. hopefully not - shipping aside, i like exploring the characterizations of enigmatic types like edgar.

about the fic, i pretty much like it save for the second part bc i think i could’ve done something more with it - not exactly change the setting, but expounded a little further on it. i don’t know, it feels lacking somehow in comparison to the first two.

there are a lot of flower-related descriptions tossed here and there, but i think i succeeded in not being so purple prose-y? hopefully! this was pretty descriptive, i guess.

with this edgar fic present, that means i have 2 more red army doods to write about, namely zero & jonah. i was really aiming to make edgar the last one tho haha.

jul 12th // ikerev

weave me into your web is canon based, specifically pt. 24 of sirius’ route where they say ‘goodbye’. note those quotation marks.

i think i wrote this after a discussion i had with a friend about sirius & his route - she read some posts commenting on the route and she wanted a nearby opinion. we got into an agreement: while we do find sirius to be indeed husbando material, his route would’ve risked nothing if they gave him more / emphasized his flaws. his flaws, not mc’s, gosh. 

no, seriously. in my opinion, mc fretting so much about being immature sort of blinds her from the little things that prove sirius is not so composed as he appears to be. it gets even worse when she realizes she’s fallen in love with him, and while i enjoy the black army going kira-kira rabu support team + seth being hopeless suitor, i’m going 50/50 on mc. she’s written to be indeed very single-minded come the war phase and while that’s not necessarily bad since she gets to broaden her perspective as she always does, i think i would’ve appreciated it if she came to most of the realizations on her own by reflecting on them based on how the events around her are progressing; and not simply by sirius / someone else pointing it out for her. no wonder she’d think she’s immature in comparison - it also irks me a bit that she keeps on fretting about her feelings for sirius. this is what i’d be sad to see again in other routes: the romance overthrowing the potential / present character development. 

side note: i understand that in relationships with a notable age gap, maturity / perceived maturity can be a problem - i just wished that the route downplayed on this bc honestly, there are other things more interesting to explore than that angle, like, say; isn’t she from another culture or world or something????????? will those differences affect our potential relationship??????????????

on sirius himself, i recall reading on reddit that one person didn’t pick up ikerev for the reason that the cast is too perfect. that’s a fair opinion. i think i can relate this to sirius himself: while throughout the route you do see some flaws in him, he’s still overall the dude you’d write home about + that dude you’d dream introducing to your parents complete with that suave voice (thank u junichi suwabe). no, i’m not saying that he has to have some unlikable or quirky trait / wangsty backstory, it’s just that in my opinion he’s desirable but not exactly relatable. let him struggle, let me see him rise up from it. show me his humanity. there’s the scene with him and lancelot, but i want more. tho him being afraid of being alone is what i find extremely relatable and endearing about him, very nice. otherwise... well, maybe i have to reread the route again or smth.

anyway. the fic emphasizes actually on his character trait of self-control / restraint. did u know too much is bad for u??? it can reflect that since you hold yourself back too much, it could mean that you’re masking your true feelings, for example. there are various psychological studies on that. *stares at sirius* hMMM.

i took care to be quite descriptive on that kiss scene and at the same time, not to be so emotional on it bc it’s still sirius lol - i believe he’s not one to lose himself completely to his emotions, but he’s not that afraid to succumb to some of it - especially if he actually wants to feel them.

... this turned out to be a rant portion rather than a fic commentary now didn’t it

aug 24 // ikerev (i’m seeing a pattern here)

a beginner’s guide to waltz was seriously just some formatting experiment, then it blew up to something larger. i actually like it tho, it’s cute.

writing oliver is actually fun, not bc of the reason that i can be rude. he is rude, but he’s not like that for just the sake of being so. as seen with blanc, it’s probably a result of habit. why exactly he chose to be verbally aggressive is something i’d like to know in his route.

i have no idea how the relationship shift is portrayed either, but i do hope it’s a mortifying revelation on mc’s part lol. like, lookie here, that little kid with his wee shorts and pretty hat that you hang out with all the time and don’t care about acting so ladylike around was that hot hunk who saved you before! oliver’s so amused and never letting her live it down.

for the line ‘i’m not interested in asking you about a decision you’ve made since you arrived here’: the decision mentioned is mc’s promise not to fall in love & to go home. i think oliver would be one of those routes where he falls for her but wants her to go home anyway, but the difference in his route is that he’s very adamant to make her leave. maybe thinking along the lines of ‘i don’t want you to end up like me’ or something. idk. idk what i’m trying to type at this point, lol.

just some random thought, but i do hope ikerev artist tcg someday draws mc in the game outfits / hairstyles bc she’s actually rly pretty. the description of mc’s outfits / fashion of part 4 of the fic was out of me just staring at the my closet portion of the game. don’t ask - i like the hc of oliver & mc having elegant wardrobes / fashion sense, and since i’m too lazy to check up 19th century london fashion trends...

sep 28 // collar x malice

haunted by something still alive was the result of me thinking about guns. don’t ask me either. maybe it’s also a result of me wanting to write something else that isn’t from my horrendous drafts folder lol.

these were actually nice drabble practices, and the first one i clearly had i mind was shiraishi’s. i honestly think it would be fitting, probably around the start of the route where they haven’t got to know each other so well.

from there on i tried to do the drabbles in the route order i did when i played the game, which was mineo - sasazuka - okazaki - shiraishi - yanagi. but tbh when i was writing it became shiraishi - mineo - yanagi - sasazuka - yanagi again - okazaki, lol. i rewrote yanagi’s and okazaki’s three times.

subtitles have their respective mathematical operations on it - i find it kind of cool and funny that those are their symbols (amnesia had the card suits), but when you do think of it properly, it does relate to their characters.

... never forget that hoshino ichika is canonically good with guns.

sep 28 // ikerev

in absence of glass slippers as stated was a part of one of my first ikerev drafts. still a draft until now, but the portion i posted is one of the ‘finished’ sections of the fic.

i don’t headcanon mc as a respectable lady from a equally respectable house or her being a well-off girl, but i like the concept of her being a self-taught lady of society aka she learned stuff like manners, dancing, and etc. out of curiosity or for more practical reasons like fitting in. 19th century london is still the victorian era, so social class and propriety was still a thing.

her taking off her shoes to practice dancing with ray is a sort of a challenge, actually... his measure of improvement will be based on the times that he steps on her feet / how many blisters her feet would gain by the end of the session, lolol - that’s why she says that stepping on a rock is the least of her problems. pretty hardcore, isn’t she?

thus the title actually - glass slippers (mary janes actually) are pretty delicate, but don’t you think a lady’s foot is much more delicate?

with ray’s fic up, i’ve officially written a piece for all of the black army men! nice.

sep 29 // ikerev

neither heaven or hell is holy shit, an mc-centered fic! hella rad - i was half thinking to classify it as a drabble, but since i decided that drabbles are pieces that i may get back on, i kept it as a full fic instead since i’m happy with how it turned out.

all of my screamings are in the tags, so i don’t have much to add besides that lol. however, the writing here is pretty different, and that’s because i was trying to do a three sentence fic challenge kind of thing. buuuuut it became three paragraphs with three lengthy sentences instead lol.

also, there’s some stuff highlighting mc’s london-er/english-ness. washing powder is the british term for laundry soap. 19th century roofs for royals were usually panels, and wooden beams for commoners. different as chalk and cheese is a british expression. i’m certainly not british but i just like emphasizing the fact that mc is of another culture/world, thus there should be differences in how she perceives things / her mannerisms & actions / her way of speech. i’ve been conscious of that in all of my fics involving her.

actually, i do make it a point to watch her way of speaking. i really like the polite way of speaking of 19th century britain (and also of today), so i try to integrate that despite the fact that i’m not british myself lol. it’s hard to fully convey it, but i try with hoping that it doesn’t seem too off. i should probably look for more references to practice it.

this was a very spontaneous piece with actually minor editing involved, and i’m pretty proud of how it turned out.

[grapecaseschoices]

17, 26, and 27 for the salty ask. (idk if we're supposed to pick the books too but just in case: bloodbound, ame, or trr)

You don’t have to! But I’m going to make the effort of leaning toward those books (even though I didn’t really finish AME 1. But not really, I didn’t. lol.)

17.  Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

I feel I’ve said this before, so forgive me if this is repetitive:

1) I would have books like TE and TRR and ES where the LI treatment are meant to be equal and it is meant to be an ensemble. Actually, be such.

2) I would allow Hana’s storylines to be actually about Hana. I would remove the Drake and Maxwell aspects entirely. I would remove the need for MC (in some respects. In certain moments, I could see why she would want her there). If we’re going to include these characters, it would be in how they relate to Hana.

How Hana and Liam and Maxwell (and even to an extent, Drake) never addressed the varying effects of family expectations/pressure and living up to that is beyond me.

I wouldn’t necessarily remove Hana was ‘perfect at everything’. I would talk more about the costs of it. I wouldn’t have that in diamond scenes. Connected to that, I would have more of her struggling with the costs of it. How it applies to her day to day wants / as well as her growth into the person she wants to be. Like, I am putting this in the POV of her marrying MC, but she is a co-duchess. It could be easily be seen as her skills being a benefit. Both on paper and practically. However, Hana mentioned fears that I feel were barely addressed – about connecting to the people. That is something that could have been handled as equally hers and the MC (bc I feel that is a storyline they should have focused more on period). Like moments that focused on how Hana would handle it, moments that focused on just the MC, but also moments where they collaborated / supported each other in their insecurities.

Speaking of. It would’ve been great if that moment of Hana helping her dad had been Hana helping herself. Applying her skills to her duchy. It would’ve been a longer arc. Instead of a flash in a can (or whatever that saying is.) 

Not to say that she couldn’t have helped her dad. I am of two ways re: Hana and her parents: 1) She doesn’t need to owe them shit and if she were to choose to forgive them it should have been more about her doing it for her own growth, her own peace, her own spirituality. Instead of her ‘proving to them’ (and if they were going to go that way, I wish they’d addressed how parents like that can still engender that need even when you’re independent). 2) If they were settled into the route of them forming some type of relationship (because children / people wanting to do that with those who hurt them is valid), they should have handled it better. I think first by actually handling it, lol. Like everything with Hana it often felt like it was an afterthought. 

3) Lily … a part of me wants to be like ‘deserved better’. I think in certain ways Lily was a rather well-crafted character but in a lot of ways she suffers from what most characters who aren’t the main dude (especially if this character is a female, a person of color, or both). Lily had interests and heartache. She had her opinion and was allowed to dissent from MC as well other characters. She set the pace of her dynamic with MC (if you chose a romantic opinion). She was allowed to upset (to an extent) and show fear and be bad ass. She had her interests and she had her style. She is who she is. And as a fictional woman of color that is BIG (heck, some choices white dudes can’t even say that much).

That being said, I feel like things happened to her and we didn’t always get to be a part of that. And I felt it was unfair to her storyline, the worldbuilding, and her dynamic with MC (romantic or not. Sorry haters, these two are ride or die friendship the extent of Ron and Harry. Platonic or otherwise Lily is her Life Partner). This can be broken down into two parts - that needed to be changed.

Things happened to her. Other than choosing to stay with Jax (and I wish we had gotten to see more of it) and coming to help toward the end. Her break up happened to her. Turning into a vampire. Happened to her. Lily did make choices, as mentioned. However, we didn’t get to see the result of them and they often seemed to come out of a Bigger Event that wasn’t really her choice at all. I guess in away, it felt clouded. (I need to ponder this more).

Though, I feel my issue from that comes from wanting more of her perspective. I feel, sometimes, the events in Lily life have the shadowing of other characters wants or just their presence in general. People say they wish Lily could have left the threesome scene, but why couldn’t have Jax? I could be remembering wrong. There is an option to do both or just Jax. However, was there an option to choose Lily only? Why was the moment turned sexual? Why couldn’t it have been MCs best friend in the world was going through a lot and they just hanged? Same with her moments with Kamilah (a training that happened off-screen. Why? I have seen others say this and I agree. It would have been informative to see more about the growth of a baby vampire). It was all about how much she’s learning from Kamilah and how cool Kamilah is. How about more on Lily as a student and Lily as a baby vampire. I’m not saying that they did horrendously awful. I just feel they could have done better. 

Also, they could have done with Lily and MCs sexual scenes NOT  happening after something Intense and/or Painful was going on. Admittedly, I didn’t catch on it at first. But it was kind of weird. (Also, as much as I love Lily calling the relationship shots. I hope they can get to talk about making their romance more romantical. Instead of just friends with benefits.) 

26. Most shippable character?

Characters of color. 

In BB and TRR: Lily and Liam. I have the most Liam ships out of TRR.

27.  Least shippable character?

White Men whose storylines needlessly take over the storyline / spotlight from other characters. 

aka Drake. LOL. (Though I do ship Driam). But I mean in the sense that I would probably never do a Drake run. 

Thank you for asking @onesocialpiranha!!

Salty Ask.

[chainsawb0y]

*BURSTS DOWN DOOR* So a little birdie told me you like Batman. I want names of favorite characters, reasons why you like them, and favorite episodes/comics. GO, I WON'T HESITATE!!!!

y e s i will ABSOLUTELY tell you all my Fun Batman Opinions (specifically TAS because That’s The Best DCA Stuff imo) !! There’s gonna be a lot because I forgot how much I liked writing about Batman TAS

Top characters (in no order bc they’re all p good) (also whoops i put best eps in with some characters ayy)Mr Freeze: Sheerly cause of what Paul Dini did with his story in the TAS. I absolutely adore how they managed to turn Mr Freeze from a One Hit Joke to a real, indepth dude with a legitimate motive and a heartbreaking story. This ties into one of my fave episodes: Heart of Ice because it makes me cry. Every time I watch that episode that little bit at the end just makes me bawl. It’s such a beautiful episode and the muuusiicc.... h

Harley Quinn: she’s just??? amazing??? i love her??? she is adorable I’m sorry. I like how she’s written in the TAS because she can be that giggly cute girl BUT she can also ACTUALLY DEVISE A PLAN AND CARRY IT OUT!!!!! Like. Fave comic/episode with her is Mad Love (because of the whole ‘Harley pulls a plan off better and actually nearly nails the Bat) and also Harlequinaide because she even makes jokes about what people think about her, eg: “Joke’s on you, I’m not even a real blonde!” like oh my god h oney i love you? There are so many more reasons that she’s amazing too eg: the fact that she became a fan favourite character from her sheer existance in the animated series and the TAS comics. Like, she was immediately So Good that she’s one of the main dc villains now I find that just??? great??? also harley & ivy > harley & joker sorry i love both ships but i favour the least problematic and bad :’ )

Harvey Dent/Two Face: I used to crush on him when I was writing this huge paper on the DCAU when I was younger. I legit did. I just really like the emotional depth that’s put in Two Face (part 1 & 2). Like, in general, the emotive motive in this series is really good. Mostly though, the reason I like him so much is because of Almost Got ‘Im. And also the first Hugo Strange ep with “GET OUTTA MY FACE CLOWN!”“Which one?”and the actual look of “oh my fucking god you bitch” face that harv gives the joker ok :’)))

Baby Doll: Her episodes 1. Fucking Hurt me and 2. give me big feels cause I have horrendous babyface and its extremely frustrating to feel babied all the time just because of how i look :’)anyways I really do love her story, the similarities to child stars that were around at the time and the general messages it carries across, y’know, treat people with respect, celebrities are people too, don’t judge based on appearance etc. I just.... really like what they did with her. I like how her whole thing isn’t “IM EVIL CAUSE I WANT TO BE!” its “I’m evil because I’ve been fucked around since I was a kid, I’ve had my career fucked with because people don’t see me past my disability, I’m pissed off and now I want revenge in the form of an exploding cake filled with dynamite” 

Joker: Because of both how he’s written and also because Mark Hamill Is A Good. There’s nothing like, good about him. He’s terrible. But he also makes me laugh a lot but I think most of that comes from the voice work and the writing. He’s a stinky clown but he’s like, written so well that he’s especially stinky but also you still can’t help but.... kinda like him??? 

Favourite Episodes:

Mad Love: It was such a faithful adaptation of the comic. Like, it legitimately just felt like someone had put the comic on screen and just dubbed it or something. It’s just................ good episode :’ ) one thing I wasn’t super into tho was the redesigns for Batman And Robin like oof ow the edges are sharp

Feat of Clay p2: I’m a huge animation nerd so the constant turning from one role to another while Clayface is freaking the fuck out was just absolutely hypnotic to watch. The animation was so smooth and so pretty I just couldn’t stop myself watching it like 10 times over again.

Baby Doll: see above :’ ) also Alan Young. 

Almost Got ‘Im: The premise of all the villains playing poker together was amazing. Whoever just thought “hey, lets just have like, 5 bad guys shoot the shit and play poker together and see what happens” needs like $100. The character interaction was hilarious, with the call backs to previous episodes like with Ivy poisoning Harvey. 

Trial: Same thing about villains interacting but moreso on the moral compass questioning. the whole “who is the real villain” thing especially. The viewpoint of Batman being the cause of these villains existing being brought into light is something that’s a legitimate question that whole episode but the justification Bats gives with the whole “You would have been bad in other ways if I wasn’t around” is actually a really good point to observe and it... just makes me like that ep ykno

with the comics it’s the usual, Mad Love, Killing Joke. I feel bad because I’ve consumed more animated media because I get overwhelmed by large amounts of text sometimes :’’’ )))

tbh theres probably waaaaaay more to this list but i was gonna make a point of rewatching all of TAS anyways !!

[sapphicbookclub]

Author Spotlight - Erin Jones

Today I’m excited to spotlight Erin Jones, the author of Truth Weekend. Check out her post for some great writing tips which I’m sure you’ll find useful!

Guest Post by Erin Jones: How To Write The Gayest Story In Your Heart

Though I would not recommend 2016 to my worst enemy (okay maybe one) it’s the year I hunkered down on my writing regime and in January 2017 I published my first novella, or novelette according to the ol’ Google, Truth Weekend! With equal parts sass, gay, and angst, Truth Weekend is a novelette told in vignettes about two rival women who escape for a weekend to make a college short film under the condition of sharing every secret, insecurity, and dark thought they’ve ever had. In a tale of sexuality, destruction, and truth, Skye and Rosemary discover what happens when you expose the darkest parts of yourself.

So to usher in 2018, The Year of The Queer, I wanted to break down how to write the gayest story possible in just three easy steps. Let’s go!

STEP 1: Throw out the idea that your story has to be groundbreaking, to warrant being written

So often, marginalized groups and communities are told that the only stories of ours worth telling are of the ones that paved the way. The rule breakers, the heroes, the ones that risked their lives. I appreciate those stories and they should be treated with the utmost respect and importance, but we need more. You don’t have to tell the story of the best gay that ever lived. The weight of the entire lgbt community is not solely on you.

Think about little lesbian Linda with green hair who makes pottery in her basement and is not very good at wizarding. Her story is significant if you want it to be. Bring Linda over here with her crusty clay hands and her horrendous form when slinging that wand around. She cute.

In a nutshell, dare to be horrible. Your first draft is going to be cringey, but that is what rewriting and editing is for. Sit down today, even if it’s only for thirty minutes, and write what’s true and ugly and everything that you’ve always wanted to say. Everything you’ve been scared to think. Everything you wish you could read. Its starts here.

STEP 2: Relish in queer intimacy

Oh no, this hotel room only has one bed! Gee I guess we should share it. And cuddle. AND confess our undying love.

In this gay and age, I for one am sick of subtext and our love being portrayed as merely pornographic or something that we’ll grow out of. I know, writing is a daunting task in and of itself with built in pressures and stigmas, so adding gay characters or themes may seem like even more of an anxiety parade, but I promise you there is someone who needs to get lost in your story and grand escapism is a marvelous coping mechanism.

Here’s another writing exercise: What is gay culture? Can you describe it? Give me a few examples or moments.

Last week I was riding in the car with my friend who is also bisexual and it was so nice to just cut to the chase about our feelings as two bi women. We expressed things that we may have moderated with our friends or people who aren’t bi so we don’t enforce a stereotype, because we’re constantly afraid we’re giving people the “wrong idea” about bisexuality. Then race came up and boy howdy did I have a lot to say about being black and bisexual.

See, it’s little scenes like this that I want to see in the world. You don’t have to hit your audience over the head with it. Or you can if you want to and your whole novel could take place in Pridelandia. It’s your book, dude.

Fear is going to creep in about seven times a day during the writing process and it can’t be stopped. You just have to unabashedly write the story you have in your heart no matter how vanilla or kinky. Normalization is a powerful thing.  

Wax poetic about the adorable guy at the library with wire frame glasses and obscene hands. Write about how your character can’t tell if her crush is a lesbian or just a hipster. Have an entire internal monologue or external soliloquy at a public pool about how you can’t tell if this person is flirting with you or it’s just in your head. What about a group of gay friends that have no desire to date each other? What about collecting an lgbt rainbow in the group? Or the mysterious case of someone in the friend group coming out every six months, because without even realizing it, we all seem to clump together. Just check my friend circle. It happens!

STEP 3: Be the gay you want to see in the world

If you’ve always wanted to read a story about XYZ, then write it! When you get the courage to tell people about your awesome story, there’s going to be that ass-basket that smiles and goes “Oh so it’s basically [insert popular book or movie here].” Ignore them. It’s not like that story because no one can tell your story like you. Everything on the page goes through your filter and is colored by your life experiences.

You’re not naïve if you want to write cute fluffy stories or an ideal. Not all lgbt lit has to be gritty or sad to be “realistic” or well written. It’s beyond okay if you write characters that just happen to be gay and have conflicts and successes that have nothing to do with their sexual orientation. Write about old gays, deaf gays, gays in wonderland, gays who stick their ankles in cabinets for science.

Here’s my favorite writing exercise for getting ideas in the page: Take the time to compile a list of all the things (gay and otherwise) that you love in a story visually, emotionally, and character wise.

If someone said “hey this book has xyz,” what are the things you would throw down good money to see in one place? This list could also be themes you would like to explore like: obsession, the loss of innocence, grief, preservation of youth, loneliness, the desire to escape, self-sabotage, ect. Whatever you’re interested in delving into and ripping apart.

I’ve always had a guilty pleasure for those wild teen movies where all the girls have kool-aid dyed hair and are out of their minds: stealing their weight in booze, self-piercing their everythings, burning money, and mixing Viagra with cocaine that they’ll snort at prom. But I’ve always wondered what happened to that girl and what happened to the artistic popular chick that was always at her neck with insults that’ll stick with you for the rest of your life. Thus, Truth Weekend (the novella and now the screenplay!) became the deconstruction and exploration of these strong personalities and all the complexities of your early 20s when there’s this societal push to be wise beyond our years, but also to be the ingénue. Through this I got to delve into the paranoia driven notion that you have to achieve everything right now or else you’re an unproductive failure and if you accomplish all that you’ve worked for at a later age it’s no longer as special.

To sum it up, just go balls to the wall. Throw your metaphorical word balls to the nearest wall. Or the farthest wall. And slowly work this list into your story. If you want to see it on the shelf or on the screen you have to sit down today and write.

Those are all my tips! I hope this helped or at least made you laugh. You can check out Truth Weekend here and follow my progress in writing the screenplay adaptation on my YouTube channel where I also post sketches and other writing videos.  My writing tumblr is @erinthewriter and my regular tumblr is @feelsandmermaids.

Happy Holidays, now go write!