#i’m glad you’re doing well even though that sucks about your job sorry about that :(

[fitsinthepalm]

hey there alissa it’s been awhile!! how are you? lots of things to Catch up On in my world! the job i was just starting the last time we talked ended up fiRing me after 3 months because i called their maNager out for stealing tips from our tip share so. that’s fun! not the best first entry into the workforce but it’s ok. my eras tour show was so aMazing, and i actually ended up standing outside the stadium in pittsbUrgh which was really fun!! i also went on a major Family vacation (not saying where because i’ve talked about it on my main haha) and it was incredible. but enough about me, what’s new with you? what are your plans for this Fall? my fall is going to be filled with school, volleyball, and mIssing my sister as she just left for college :( see you sooN!

CORN MUFFIN ANON HI ❤️

[creelkobblelaufeyson69]

hiii! just wanna say i love your writing and wondered if you could please write a frank from abigail smut where after he's turned into a vampire and sucked abigail's blood, joey had ran away this time but then y/n comes in looking for frank without knowing he had actually already turned into a vampire and then they basically just fuck in the library lmao SORRY IF THIS REQ IS TOO LONG

I was having a shit day, so this is very refreshing to hear. Thank you🩵 And it’s definitely not too long!

Suck me

Warnings: smut

Tags: @thatchubbypillow

They had now just arrived to the library. They thought that they were the only one left, but they were proven wrong when they see Frank still alive. “I’m so glad you’re still alive. It would’ve been a shame if you’ve died” he says hiding the fact that he’s a vampire. “Yeah- I suppose. Are you okay?” They asked with concern in their voice

“Yes” he quickly figured out how to hide his fangs, and so he hid his fangs before they could see them. He turns around, and then smirks. “I’ve never felt better” he adds as he moves towards them. They don’t move from their spot, they stay there as if in a trance

They felt like something was off about him, but couldn’t figure out what that could be. It didn’t scare them off though. It lured them in as he was pinning them roughly against one of the bookshelves. They blushed and felt turned on by his roughness

He kisses them roughly on their lips as he rips off their clothes. He notices in the corner of his eye how much they needed him. He pulls apart, and then smirks. His fangs shown too, which makes them shocked. “Do you like em? I personally do” he says as he now takes off his clothes as well

“They fit you perfectly” they said, which makes him smirk. “You look so fucking hot as a vampire sir” they add, which makes him slam into them after making he had gotten rid of his clothes. Their wraps around his waist as he spent no time with letting them stretch out

He pounds into them roughly, which makes them be in so much pleasure at the moment. Their hands are grasping tightly onto his back, which makes him let out moans. He wondered if pain also turned them on as well. He puts his fangs away, and starts to leave bite marks on their neck

They moan as he leaves bite marks. He wanted to drain their blood right then, but he held his instincts back. “Frank” they moaned as he continues to bite them. He stops, and smirks. He was glad to know that they also enjoyed pain, so he scratched their face to the point that blood was drawn

They moaned as his tongue goes onto their cheek now. He shuts his eyes, and came from how good they tasted. His head arches back to let out moans, before going back to their cheek. They were definitely into this, and loved that he came because of their blood. They came now, which makes him stop

He draws blood on their shoulder with using his fangs. Their head stays arched back as his bloody fingers go into them. Moans echo throughout the library as he’s licking the blood off their shoulder and rubbing them the way they like. They moan his real name, which makes him amused

“You taste fucking amazing” he says as his eyes look up at them. He tugs their head to make them look at him. He smirks at the faces they make right now. “Taste it” he orders after he lets go of their hair. His finger goes onto their bleeding shoulder, and then close to their mouth

They listen, and even listen when he said to swallow it. They felt grossed out by this, but didn’t want to upset him. “Good job” he praises as he picks up his speed on their pussy. They came on his fingers, which makes him grin. He stops and then takes his fingers out of them

He tastes them, and realizes that they tasted delicious still. He wanted to tear them apart now, but had very good self control. He puts his clothes back on, and handed them his leather jacket to cover up. “Let’s get the fuck out of here” he says as they put the jacket on. He holds their hand as the two leave the place

[jujumin-translates]

[A3!] ★ Main Story | Act 15 - Painful RE:bake | Episode 9 - Bring on the Risk

Azami: …

Azami: (I knew it, this one’s bad in terms of compensation, too. Another bust.)

Azami: (Thanks to their advice, my follower count’s growin’ steadily, but the job offers I’ve been getting all suck.)

Azami: Ughh…

Sakyo: Oi, is this what I should use as skin care before going to bed?

Azami: Yeah, but… the hell’s gotten into you?

Sakyo: I’ve got a shoot tomorrow.

Azami: Really? Movie or drama?

Sakyo: Drama.

Sakyo: …I thought I’d also try my hand at film performances like Nanao’s doing. So I got into contact with Kamo from back when we did “Yin Yang Midnight” and he got me a part.

Sakyo: Well, it’s just as an extra, though.

Sakyo: It’s just two lines, but I’ll still be on screen, so I want to look as perfect as possible.

Azami: Skin care’s not somethin’ you can just do overnight, it’s somethin’ you’ve gotta do over ‘n over again on a regular basis.

Sakyo: …I know that.

Azami: Whatever, I’ll teach you some special care since there’s nothin’ else I can do.

Azami: Truthfully, spendin’ money on medical cosmetic treatments is the quickest ‘n easiest way to get it done.

Sakyo: That’d be a goddamn waste if it’s somethin’ you can get done with a normal routine.

Azami: I don’t wanna hear that comin’ from someone who doesn’t even keep up a routine.

Sakyo: Gh--.

Azami: --You can use this. It’s a real high-quality pack. And it’s expensive, so don’t waste it.

Sakyo: When you say expensive, just how expensive are we talking?

Azami: 3000 yen per pack.

Sakyo: And you just use this once…?

Azami: Obviously. 

Sakyo: Are you sure it can’t be used at least three times?

Azami: No. And you don’t got time to be choosy at this point, do you?

Sakyo: …--Right. I appreciate this.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

*Flashback*

Ibuki: A person’s face has like, a big impact on what people think of them, y’know? If you wanna get more followers, you can’t just do whatever you want.

Ibuki: Social media is rarely what you want it to be, and the world isn’t so nice that you can be found just by having good makeup skills.

*Flashback end*

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Azami: (I guess I don’t got time to be choosy at this point either, huh…)

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

*Shop bell rings*

Akira: --Sorry for making you wait. My meeting took longer than I thought it would.

Azami: Thanks for takin’ time outta your busy schedule.

Akira: No, no, I should be saying the same to you. I’ve been wondering what you’ve been up to, so I’m glad you reached out.

Akira: And thank you for taking that one hair and makeup class. …Anyway, the real issue at hand here is are we here to talk about you taking my part-time job offer this time?

Azami: I mean, I am interested in that, but today I wanted to talk about somethin’ a little different…

Azami: Right now, I’m tryin’ to polish my hair and makeup skills, and I wanna try doin’ somethin’ outside of my theater company, like a job or big challenge or somethin’.

Azami: I’d be happy to be a part-time assistant, but… Is there anythin’ else I can do to gain experience?

Akira: I see… By the way, I saw the name “ZAMI” on Inste.

Akira: I already thought you were great back when you were in middle school, but it really looks like you’ve grown a lot both in technique and sensitivity since then.

Akira: But I’ve been wondering. If you want to take on a big job, why don’t you put yourself forward more?

Azami: …

Akira: When it comes to hiring someone to do a job…

Akira: We don’t just hire people without knowing who they are. We only make offers after we’ve determined what kind of personality they have and what kind of beliefs and sensibilities they hold.

Akira: It’s really important to make people think, “I want to work with this person”.

Akira: Your work is interesting, Azami-kun, and it really conveys your sense of makeup, but I’m not getting any sense of your personality or beliefs.

Akira: For example… Why don’t you post pictures of your own face? And you’re also an actor, Azami-kun, and I think that’d be a strong weapon in its own right.

Azami: Well--...

Akira: I mean, I’m sure you have your reasons. Maybe you don’t want people to think of you as a child, or maybe you want people to judge you based solely on your makeup skills.

Akira: Exposure on social media isn’t all fun and games.

Akira: But there are plenty of kids your age-- such as other high schoolers, who are making it as pros now, right?

Akira: You’ve got rivals in the same generation as you who are doing better than you because they know how to use social media better than you, Azami-kun.

Azami: --.

Akira: If you don’t want to lose to them in the midst of all of this… Then I’ve got a big challenge for you right now.

Akira: …The truth is, I was the one who was given this offer. But I think it’d be more interesting if you did it, and I think you’d get a lot more out of it than I would.

Akira: If you can get good results by putting all of your sensibilities, beliefs, and personality into your work, I’m sure you’ll gain recognition as a hair and makeup artist.

Akira: However, it’s a big challenge where one wrong move could mean your image worsening and being at risk of receiving lots of backlash online, but… what do you think?

Azami: --Obviously I’m gonna do it.

Azami: The greater the risk, the greater the reward. If it’ll increase my recognition, it’ll help out Autumn Troupe too.

Azami: (That’s why… it’s just like Banri-san said. I’ve gotta go ahead and feel the pain. That’s what I want.)

Akira: Got it. Then I’ll do my best to support you all the way.

Akira: I’ve been hoping for something like this for you for a long time, Azami-kun. In return, you should give me a shoutout on your social media if you succeed.

Azami: Got it.

Azami: (...He sure is calculatin’, huh? Guess that’s what happens when you’re a freelancer.)

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

[elysia-nsimp]

Heyyyy buddy pal friend, *cough ( sorry ). I was wondering if you could write a poly fluff romantic scenario between overblot Azul and overblot Jamil with a male reader, preferably an interation between the trio. thx and here have a follow and a cookie 🍪

HIIII oh my gosh thanks for the follow and cookie !!

And thanks for your patience too, I know it’s been a WHILE since you sent me this ask. I kinda lost my twst spark for a bit there then was hit with the dreaded “ohhh what if my writing sucks”

Anyway I decided to not worry about that too much. This is mostly unedited because I just. REALLY wanted to get something out for you. I promise I didn’t forget! :’)

——

Contents: established relationships, polyamory!! Both Jamil and Azul are dating you as the reader, but not each other, mild Book 3/4 spoilers, reader uses he/him pronouns ! ^^

With both Azul and Jamil overblotting, it’s already a recipe for disaster.

Azul and Jamil aren’t all that different in some aspects. Both crave the power and control they lacked in their childhoods, and seek to stand over the rest as a result of that.

One thing they have in common for certain though, is their love for you! You were dating them both before this whole thing happened, and although they don’t get along that well, they’re both glad you’re happy with the relationship.

However…this does lead to them fighting over you when overblotted.

Both of them want your undying attention, although for slightly different reasons. Oh, what is a poor reader to do?

On one hand, Jamil’s over here like “praise me please!!! i want to be called a handsome young man!!!!!” while Azul wants cuddles because he is full of embarrassment and pain and suffering.

Poor you is stuck in the middle of them, metaphorically being tugged back and fourth between them.

Azul’s like, “Actually, handsome, I believe he will be spending his evening with me.”

While Jamil’s like “ACTUALLY I require him to be here with ME as my cheerleader while I run Scarabia!” (I’m afraid he can’t provide the pompoms though)

Despite their back and fourth, when you step in they both turn to you with no hesitation.

“Who do you choose, Yuu?” Azul looks almost desperate, silently begging you to pick him. Meanwhile, Jamil crosses his arms, convinced he’s already won.

“Do I have to choose?” you ask.

Utter silence from both of them. They glance at each other, then back to you.

“What do you mean, ‘do you have to choose?’” Jamil sounds almost taken aback by your question.

“What if I don’t want to pick?” you retort. “What if I choose both of you?”

After some mild side glares at each other from your partners, they agree that it’s a win-win! Jamil will put up with Azul and vice versa. You end up smooshed between two slightly agitated overblots. As you run your fingers through Azul’s hair, you tell Jamil how very handsome he is and tell him he’s done a good job, even if it didn’t work out in the end. This makes both of them very happy.

Their overblots both die down after a while, leaving you with your two partners asleep, one on your shoulder and one in your lap.

Congrats!! You’re a hero for being gay. /pos

——

I’m not gonna lie, I thought this was a really cute dynamic. Very fun to write, even if it wasn’t super long. Again thanks for waiting for so long while I got my stuff together lol

[emeraldbabygirl]

hey Willow. I THINK I'm holding up okay after the news...

I'm a bit worried that what if all my faves are horrible criminals or something, but i think it's always best to assume someone is a good person at first and then be disappointed later if they do smth bad. otherwise, I'd stress myself the fuck out. I'm already a massive overthinker.

seriously though, this was shocking. i feel super bad for the victim and i hope they can get justice.

...

anyways, i also do have a few more light hearted topics i want to talk about. I've heard approximately 11 absolute bangers in the last 7 days. I've developed a massive crush on jay from onepact bc he's a really good singer and also hot af. i can't listen to regret by lee gikwang without sobbing. I started college, this assignment I'm doing isn't as hard as i thought it would be tbh. also i went to cheesecake factory for the first time since i was like 14? i think?

so what've you been up to?

Yeah I like to hope and think everyone is a good person and..yeah, just every time I hear something like this whether it’s a celeb or not it just shocks me like idk how anyone could do something like that.

ANYWHO COLLEGE BOOOOO I HATE SCHOOL I SUCK AT IT. But I’m glad you’re furthering your education! What’s the year gonna look like for you as far as classes an big projects and things? This is your second year tho right? I haven’t been listening to a lot of music, just one specific xg song on repeat lol, you sent me a few of the songs maybe I should check them out. I don’t listen to xixers? or onepact really even tho seungmin but I might try and give them another listen. I’ve mostly been avoiding boy groups for some reason. I love cheesecake and kinda want to go to a Cheesecake Factory but I don’t think there are any in my state

As far as me? had a lot of bad days :( mental health and period shit and feeling sick the past month and this job is starting to go downhill I feel because of something but my sis and I went almost halfsies on a car from our great aunt and it was a good deal and I hope I can start driving in it and become more comfortable with driving so I can get my license. I’m scared of driving but I’m so tired and frustrated that I can’t take myself to work or go anywhere so I hope this new plan will work. Glad to hear you’re doing well. I missed talking to you, I’m sorry if my messages felt half assed :( I wanted to respond but I wasn’t always feeling the best when I did

[true-blue-sonic]

❓️ :)

❓ any WIP snippet you want!

This is an odd one: I have a draft for a short Soulmate AU story in my folder, haha. The idea there is that people have heterochromatic eyes, with one colour being of their own and one being that of their soulmate. Except Espio's got two golden eyes... and thus he Has No Soulmate, very drama, much suck, he pretends it doesn't affect him so much. So I hope you enjoy this ^-^

~~~~

With a glower Espio stares at his reflection in the mirror, washing his face and studying his eyes. His two eyes, with no difference in colour between them; both a golden yellow, both honeyed and marvelled at by many interested in him and neither matched by any of those people.

“It might not mean anything, really,” Vector had assured him with a bright smile, his one orange and one brown eye kind and fond. “Some people never find their soulmates, but they do find someone else, and they are happy together. And some people do find their soulmate, and they find they don’t like the loss of freedom and break up, and they are happy too. Some people have the same as you, no soulmate at all, and they either never find anyone or do find someone and are also happy. And some people-“

“Yes, I get it,” Espio had interrupted, bristling more than he would have liked himself to.

“I’m just saying you don’t seem to be very open for the idea of falling in love in the first place, Es.”

“Indeed I am not.”

“Well, maybe you should be. It’s wonderful, to be in love.” And that had been the final end of the discussion, and it still makes Espio hiss when he thinks about it. He does not even want a dumb soulmate; it can only be stifling and irking and taking away his attention from his job and tasks he considers so much more important...

That had been his stance on things ever since learning about the prospect of soulmates in the first place, at least, and though the thought the universe does not even have a soulmate out there for him stings, during lonely nights and quiet days he is content.

Or so he always said.

“Thanks for coming too, Espio,” Sonic beams at him, before his half-emerald, half-jade gaze drops down to his chilidog-sauce-covered fingers the chameleon is staring at as well and he quickly licks it away with a giggle as Espio grimaces. “Sorry, heh. But I hadn’t even had time to ask you how you are doing so far! Having fun at the party?”

With a nod Espio hums. The Blue Blur’s birthday party had been quite a struggle to plan out; not because of any unwillingness on everyone’s parts, but because the speedy hedgehog is simply that adept at finding out what they are doing on any other day, plus being plenty fast and capable of showing up in unexpected places within seconds on top. “I am glad the planning went well,” the chameleon thus says. “And that you are having fun, as well. It is your party, after all.”

“I’m having a blast! And I had no idea you guys had anything in store!” Sonic beams back at him. “Heh, and even Eggman showed up to wish me a happy birthday- a good day, really.”

“Hm hm.” Surely Eggman did not show up only for that alone, and Espio suppresses a frown at the memories of being frozen in time, short as it had lasted- well, to be fair, it had not lasted any time at all within the timeless void Eggman had banished everyone to. But Sonic saved the day as usual, and thus he can only be happy.

Eyes already firmly trained on another unattended chilidog on the table Sonic shoots him a little smile from the corner of his mouth. “You’re sitting quite alone here.”

“Don’t I always,” Espio retorts back; sure, he is isolating himself quite a bit once Vector’s and Charmy’s shenanigans stopped being fun and started being irking, but he reasons the Blue Blur knows that about him by now.

“Why don’t you try mingling with some of the others guests who are less likely to drive you nuts?”

“Like whom.”

“Ah- hmm-“ Narrowed bi-coloured green eyes trail over the grassy field they had planned the surprise in, Espio’s normal golden gaze following it. Everyone is chatting and mingling, clearly having fun... “Hm! Do you know Silver?” Sonic speaks up, and the chameleon shrugs at the unfamiliarity of the name.

“I do not believe we have met, no.”

“He’s a buddy of mine too! Met him a while ago, fought each other, went on some adventures, sparred in that white void just now, he’s great.”

“That sounds lovely,” Espio deadpans back.

“Yup!! Heh, I think he is isolating himself as well, actually. Says he doesn’t really know what to do with so many people around.”

“That sounds like me, then.”

With a little grin Sonic bounces away. “He’s over in the little forest over there, if you want to look for him. And if you do see him, tell him I said hi!”

“Yes, of course. Have a good day, Sonic.”

“Will do bye!!” And with that the speedster dashes away, unassuming chilidog getting snatched and people laughing and singing Happy Birthday in the distance as Espio shakes his head. Sonic truly can be too enthusiastic for his own good at times... and he does not even want to meet with some new person. Probably also someone with heterochromic eyes, with the promise of a soulmate in one, someone who will pity him for the fact he has no such thing, he notes bitterly to himself before he can help it... before he shakes his head with a grunt. He is above all that, after all, and no matter what this Silver thinks of him and his two completely normal golden eyes it is not his problem. And besides, maybe this Silver is a calm, even-tempered, laid-back and pleasantly quiet person-

Actually, Espio interrupts himself in that train of thought, that seems to be almost impossible if this Silver is also friends with Sonic.

Sighing deeply the chameleon gets up, stretching himself out and rubbing one eye. It is nice, to sit here in the sun; but stretching his legs and going on a walk sounds nice as well. Not to mention Sonic will pester him about talking to Silver... If he just goes to that little forest for a walk he can say he at least tried to meet that person and missed him, and if he does come across him he can keep it at useless small talk and other such nonsense before making his escape. Yes, Espio nods, setting a brisk pace towards the swaying trees in the distance. No matter which scenario, it’ll be exactly the way he likes it.

Finding himself in the small forest before long – more a glorified collection of trees than a real forest – Espio permits a small smile to form on his face. With the foliage blocking most of the noises from the birthday party in the distance he can focus on the sounds of nature around him: the birdsong and the rustling of leaves in the wind and-

Something akin to a crash, and a loud one at that.

Freezing up Espio lets his fingers trail over the kunai always hidden in his glove cuffs, listening intently to the noises around him. An animal, most likely, or a robot, unfortunately not that unlikely, or-

“Ow! Owwwww.”

...A child?

“Silver, you've got to be more careful,” a voice rings out inbetween the trees a bit distantly, the chameleon’s tail flicking as he inches closer with something stirring in his chest he can’t exactly place. “You can’t keep getting yourself stuck in bushes, that’s just dumb. And they’ll laugh at you if they find out."

Brow furrowing at the hint of sadness intermixing the disappointed tone Espio scuffles to the place he can hear the voice from, peeking past a handful of bushes at the source... which is a small grey hedgehog hopelessly entangled in a bush, the two long quills flowing from his back and getting tugged at uselessly by... hands adorned with cyan circles? “Okay, so this is a bit of a situation,” the child - or rather teenager, because he's not that small - speaks again, grunting as he twists his head around; with the awkward way he is sitting Espio can’t even see what his face looks like. “So maybe-“

“Excuse me,” the chameleon interrupts, aiming to step up to the anthro- and stiffening as a growl resounds and the child begins fussing and squirming instead with the same odd cyan colour rising up all around him. “Wait- sorry! I do not mean you harm, I wish to help you-"

“Who are you!” the anthro snaps at him... rather clumsily, considering Espio can barely see a hint of his face staring up at him.

“My name is Espio, and I presume you are Silver, and now stop twisting like that before you get any brambles stuck in your face next,” Espio retorts, unexpectedly forceful; but he has plenty of experience with Charmy and his shenanigans, and thus he knows very well how to be firm with someone. “I wish to help you, but you need to sit still.”

A huff resounding the other fusses some more, but it pipes down soon enough, the realisation he is hopelessly stuck presumably having struck him. “...Okay. But if you hurt me-!"

“I have no intention to, what with you being a friend of Sonic and all.” Carefully sitting next to him Espio lets his fingers trail over the thick branches wrapped around grey quills, a little smile forming on his face at the way two tiny ears perk up.

“Oh, you know Sonic too?”

“Indeed I do,” Espio hums back, touching his lips with a deep frown replacing the little grin; he hardly smiles, so why... Shaking that thought away he quickly hums, grabbing his kunai after all and carefully moving to cut through the tinier twigs and twines first. “Indeed, he is a companion of the Chaotix Detective Agency which I am a part of as well. We helped plan his birthday party- though I do not recall inviting you.”

A laugh which makes the odd feeling in his chest stir up only more resounds, light and amused. “I mean, I wasn’t invited, actually! I don’t know what happened. One moment I’m just hanging out by myself, and the next I’m in some sort of white void in a ruined city-“ the other’s voice hitches just barely at that, but before Espio can question what it means it recovers- “and then Sonic comes up to me and asks for my Emerald. That was all really suspicious, so I fought him!! And then I lost.”

“Oh,” Espio hums back, his tail giving a twitch with something he cannot place.

“Which is too bad, but it was epic. And then he fought that purple monster thing, and then we were all back here, and t h e n he asked me to stay for his birthday and celebrate as well. So I guess I’m here now.”

“I... see.” Face having long assumed a rather amused frown at the slightly-hectic recalling of events Espio hums and smiles, untangling the other’s quills slowly from the bramble bush and checking one final time if the other truly is free. “Well met, Silver, and my condolences for losing your spar. You’re free now.”

“Thanks- oh, thank you!!” Scrambling up the child flies into the air, shaking out his pelt with a delighted little whoop as Espio stares up at him with quickly-growing confusion. Just what is that cyan around him?! “You’re awesome, Espio!” Silver beams, turning around with a bright smile sent his way- but before the chameleon can respond to ask about the odd colour his eyes fall on the hedgehog’s face, and his words die on his tongue as his body goes a ghostly cold.

Because Silver has the exact same eyes as he does.

[smilesstardust]

“I’m sorry, I seem to have missed where I asked for that” can I see this line? so excited for when this fic comes out!!

Hi! I’m so glad you sent me this one, the scene was one of the first things I wrote for this AU! It’s actually where this AU starts in my head, Ava’s first day with the Gaffney dance company!

She could do this.

Ava took a deep breath as she looked up at the Gaffney Theatre. The building was far too modern for her tastes, all harsh edges and sharp corners, though she did appreciate the glass. It reminded her of the Royal Opera House in London, a home she was unlikely to be going back to any time soon.

She pulled her bag tighter over her shoulder and walked on in.

The reception was all cool tones of white and pale blue, but still managed to feel comfortable and inviting. The main desk was staffed by an older woman, who was stood tall behind it as she rolled her eyes at the red haired man in front of her.

"Can I help you?" The woman asked Ava, noticing her hovering.

"I’m Ava Bekker. I’m supposed to start work here today as a choreographer?" She said, approaching the desk.

"Hi, I’m Will." The man introduced himself shaking her hand a little too enthusiastically for her taste. "I’m the company’s resident doctor. I think it’s so cool you’re here, I-"

"Artistic director is on his way down." The woman told Ava, cutting him off. "Don’t you have a patient or something?" She raised an eyebrow at Will, causing him to hurry off through a set of double doors behind the desk, leaving Ava stood alone.

"You can take a seat over there while you wait." She nodded towards a set of couches.

"Thank you." Ava tried to smile politely, swallowing her nerves. "I didn’t catch your name?"

The woman exhaled sharply, letting out a slight hum, which Ava couldn’t tell if it was good or bad. "Probably because I didn’t throw it. Trudy, but most folks around here just call me Platt."

"Well, thank you Trudy." Ava said, taking a seat.

Ava sat in silence for a few minutes, until Trudy spoke again. "So, how did they rope you in to filling the choreographer job? It’s been a few years since the last guy left."

"I had to retire from performing." Ava didn’t want to mention the accident, didn’t want to have to explain what happened. "I was contacted and offered the job, and I didn’t have a reason to say no."

"Ava Bekker, that’s why I know your name. I read about your injury. Tough break." She sighed sympathetically. Despite Ava doing her best not to bring up the injury, her unfairly gained reputation preceded her. Years of hard work and dedication disregarded all because she had been dropped on her face. Which was hardly her fault, since her ex had been her emergency replacement partner for one night and apparently hadn’t been able to stand being alone in the same room as her long enough to rehearse before they went on stage. Not even for one of the most important performances of her career. Her final performance, as it had turned out.

Ava didn’t respond, though it didn’t seem like Trudy expected her to. There wasn’t a lot that could be said. She’d got hurt and it had ended her career. It sucked, but nobody wanted to hear her admit that. She was simply supposed to move on with her life and forget about it as much as she could.

Ava wasn’t waiting for long before a sour looking man walked out of the same double doors Will had left through. His hair was a mess and his eyes had what looked like permanent large bags under them, suggesting sleeping was something he didn’t do much of. He had a sour look on his face as he greeted Trudy, before walking over to Ava.

Despite his tired appearance, he seemed young for an artistic director. Probably not much older than Ava herself. He introduced himself sharply as Connor Rhodes, and gestured for her to follow him.

He took her on a tour of the building, walking faster than the pace she could comfortably keep up with. He only spoke to point out certain rooms, not engaging with her at all unless she asked a question.

"And this is your office." He said, stopping at a sparsely furnished room, just containing a desk and chair. "Mine is next door. Class starts in ten minutes. I’ve been doing all of the choreographer’s work since the last one left, so you’re going to shadow me for the next few days before taking over."

She opened her mouth to ask about scheduling, when Connor cut her off. "Look, I’m not trying to be rude but I don’t expect you to be here long. Basically none of the creative staff we’ve had over the years have stayed more than a season, if they even lasted that long, and we’re a lot different than the ballet company you came from. Very few of our dancers are classically trained, or were even professionally trained before they joined us. We’re a lot less uptight than the english royal ballet company and way more experimental so I don’t know how well you’ll fit."

Ava didn’t really know how to react, and had to bite back her first urge to correct him on the name of the Royal Ballet. "Gee, if only I had done research into this company before making the life altering decision to move halfway around the world and take the job." She deadpanned after a moment, folding her arms pointedly at him.

"I don’t need a choreographer, I’ve been doing the job alongside mine fine for years now. And even if I did want someone to come in, you would not have been my first choice. I don’t think you being our choreographer is a good idea, or even something that’s going to stick anywhere close to long term." He paused. "However, the board hired you anyway and I’m not about to pick a fight with them. But I’m not going to let you change what makes us special and I’m definitely not going to go easy on you or hold your hand and explain what you should already know."

She was slightly taken aback. "I’m sorry, I seem to have missed where I asked for that?" She choked.

"First sentence that came up when I searched your name told me all I needed to know. I know you’ve never done this before. The whole point of you being here is so I don’t have the work of three people on my plate, which means I’m not going to be doing any of your work for you." He told her. Ava was slightly relieved that his only issue with her ability to do the job was her lack of experience and nothing to do with incorrect assumptions about her mental capacity following her injury.

"I don’t expect you to do my job for me. I haven’t been a choreographer before but I have choreographed routines, taught classes and staged performances. The environment and role might be different but I do know what I’m doing." She assured him. "Now can we get to work?"

Connor huffed in response. "Fine. Class is in studio three." He said, walking off down the hall in the direction they had come from.

From this list

[yanderelovlies]

✨Galaxy Anon ✨ here!

Thanks viví for understanding and no problem! Glad to hear that. You deserve the happiness.

I know, I get maybe the artstyle maybe not your cup of tea but that hard? I thought nick looked cute with his new outfit. True. Probably just didn’t like the artstyle and new outfits for some but dear lord overdramatic much?

Yes and even then sometimes they make you feel stupid that you don’t understand it. Yeah like sorry I suck at this subject but I’m trying. But sometimes I don’t blame the teachers since I was so paranoid even the nice ones I had a hard time even asking since I was so scared.

I get that but sometimes it isn’t your fault. You have the right to say no and they shouldn’t make you feel bad about it. I had to learn that and I still struggle with it but know sometimes it’s okay. Well I feel welcomed so I think you’re doing a good job at it.

No worries and yeah I don’t want people to know who I am unless I trust them and I mean when I’m very sure since I was a stupid kid back then and did some things that could’ve actually gotten me hurt. Makes sense at least you have some wall of privacy now. Was there one that made you laugh? Ooh please do one day I love to heat them that sounds interesting especially in her field of work.

I get that. Once I get attached it’s hard for me to break off a bad friendship or deal with a lose of one when we both drift apart. Yeah I get that especially now fearing to put yourself out there okay to get hurt again…it’s a terrible feeling and has messed with me for years. Are they trying to be friends with you again or trying to hurt you again? No worries I will anyway so you don’t have to worry if I left this blog again. Viví you’re too sweet stop it you’re making my teeth rot! I don’t usually get dressed up but I’m wearing my best outfit for that gotta look good! Get my good side lol.

You deserve all the happiness in the world 100% facts.

I don't get either. Don't get me wrong there is somethings that feels a bit off, but I don't think it was worth an uproar. I just hope Sauce and those working on the game remember to take care of themselves. The deserve all the rest they can get.

They do! Though I did have this teacher in high school was she seemed like she would have been over it, but was eager to help make sure her students passed she just had resting bitch face lol.

I have to remind myself too, and I'm getting better at it though sometimes I can't help it. I'm glad you feel welcomed cause that's one of two goals 💕.

Oh God me too I had unrestricted internet access. I thought I knew all and nothing would happen. Oops lol. As for funny stories from my mom mmm honestly I would have to ask her I have the memory of goldfish 👀.

Well, I originally broke off the friendship because they are very...toxic. It also didn't help that one person in the group made it seem like I was a problem even though I just wanted to hang out. Now only one of them tries to hang out, but I don't have it in me anymore. I'm tired of "being a problem" so I don't really respond and hope they just leave alone. Also I bet you look fantastic in whatever you wear so flaunt 💅✨️💕

[dragonmasterhiccup]

Danny didn’t know what to say. All she knew was what her mind was telling her, and what her mind was telling her is that she was right. But Hiccup still had some good points… No. She was- she was right.

“Well- because… because you were trying to get me to trust you! ‘Cause if I trusted you, you wouldn’t have to keep an eye on me to make sure I didn’t leave!”

“Well that sucks to be you then, doesn’t it?! You can only complain about that such much until it’s overused, like get over it already! You’re Chief, so suck it up and do your d*** job! And for the record, you suck at your job! You and your master manipulation should’ve never been made Chief. Y’know, if I was Spitelout, I’d hate you too! And don’t say that I didn’t ’hit the mark,’ because I did, you just don’t like being called out.”

“Don’t lie to me! I’ve found you out, you are a liar and manipulative b*****d. I’m not as stupid and naive like you thought I was.”

She scoffed. “Yeah, whatever, you have a fantastic f***ing day.”

———

She’d be lying if she said the guilt didn’t kick in a few hours later, when the anger finally went away.

Hiccup was right, and she knew that now, and she also knew that she had said some very hurtful stuff.

He was just trying to keep her safe. And she had taken that for granted and called him a liar.

Her first thought was to go to Valka, because she wasn’t trying to manipulate her either, she had just wanted to help.

After explaining the situation, Valka had told her that she should probably apologize, because she did, in fact, say some offensive things, things that were way out of line, even for her.

She ended up waiting until night, writing a letter and slipping it under his door before he returned home.

The letter wrote,

‘Hey Hiccup,

It’s Danny. I just wanted to say that I am sorry, and I wrote you a note because I didn’t think you would want to talk to me. I know I said some stuff that I really shouldn’t have, and that it was probably very messed up. Even though I was angry, it doesn’t excuse my behavior. I guess if you want to come talk to me tomorrow, you can. Other than training I’ll probably be at home.’

And with that, she returned home for the night.

He stopped, fists clenched, back straight, as she continued to yell and insult him.

He squeezed his eyes shut, glad that his back was still to her, because he didn't want her to see how much her words had hurt him.

Every single insult felt like a stab, like old injuries opening back up.

Turning his face slightly, he uttered a quiet, "Toothless? Let's go, bud." before walking out of the stables entirely.

Toothless, head down, looked at Danny with disappointment, before letting out a low whine and following Hiccup out the door.

----------------

The rest of the day, he went through in almost a haze.

He still managed to be productive, he settled a couple of disputes, but ended up spending the majority of his day in the forge, hammering out his frustration.

He could only hide in there for so long, though, as he still had a council meeting to attend, and he had to check in with Gothi and the others to get inventory of what supplies they needed from the traders.

Long after sundown, he stumbled home, exhausted. Leaning on Toothless for support, he managed to get inside and closed the door, not seeing the paper on the floor.

His leg was sore, so he went straight to his bed and immediately laid himself down, removing his prosthetic and massaging what was left of his leg.

It was Toothless who had noticed the single paper on the floor of the hut, and he tilted his head as he investigated it.

Sniffing at it, the dragons eyes widened, knowing exactly who this note was from.

Sticking a claw through the paper, he raised himself in his hind legs and wobbled over to Hiccup, who had just finished removing his armor.

"Huh? What is it, bud?" Eyeing the paper, Hiccup reached out and grabbed it, turning it around to see what was on it. "Oh. It's...it's from Danny."

Toothless grunted and lowered himself back to all fours, watching Hiccup as he read the note.

------------------

The following afternoon, Hiccup paced in front of his mom's hut.

Toothless laid in the grass behind him, chewing on a fallen log.

He hadn't been sure what to make of Danny's note last night, after everything she'd said to him in anger. But, it looked genuine enough, and he wanted to give her a chance, though he hoped he wouldn't be faced with more insults.

Taking a deep breath, he braced himself, knocking on the door.

When the door opened, he swallowed before speaking. "H-hey, I uh, I got your note...do you--do you have some time to talk?"

[1d1195]

I’m SO ready to read what you have in store for both Honey and the academic rivals!! I just know that it will be SO GOOD! And you’re so real for loving the jealousy aspect lol I LOVE reading about it but irl I will literally GAG and not in a good way HAHA

I’m sorry you’re not feeling too well rn :( it’s suck so much to constantly feel like that and it’s even worse when it amplified with one’s cycle! It’s hell for so many reasons! I’m so sorry you’re going through it :( I hope that you’re able to feel a bit better and have been able to do things that make you smile!!!

You’re so kind for even remembering!My midterms went pretty well actually! I did better than I expected which is crazy considering I haven’t been all there lol my weekend has also been a bit busy but I’m a nice way! Went out for a birthday thing for a friend so my social battery has been running a bit low but I enjoyed it which is fine! How was yours?! Hope you got in some rest after a busy week! You are always deserving of it!

Btw idk exactly when you start the new school year but IM WISHING YOU THE BEST OF LUCK WITH IT!! I have no doubt that your teaching abilities are just amazing and I know you’ll be able to have a great year! Remember that you’re doing your best and that is always enough, please take care of yourself!

The Jump tie back idea was NOT STUPID!! Bestie it was my fave moment in the last part! It just proved how even when they weren’t in each others lives they are so intertwined that even the universe was trying to make them come back to each other/not forgot their bond!! While this isn’t a soulmate au, THIS IS VERY SOULMATE CODED AND IDGAF IT WAS SO CUTE AND PERFECT FOR THEM!!! Such a lovely story and you never miss!!

OMG ITS ALREADY BEEN A YEAR😭😭😭OUR ANNIVERSARY 😭😭😭 WDYM ITS BEEN A YEAR?! It feels like a lot of time has passed yet at the same time it doesn’t feel that long?? Idk lol i seriously should be thanking YOU! You’re so kind to everyone on here and you create such wonderful stories that you share with us! And thank you for being so easy and fun to talk to. It doesn’t matter whether you’re telling me simple things or opening a bit of your heart, it’s always so lovely getting to talk you! You have no idea how insanely wonderful you are, thank you for being such an amazing person and pen pal! Love you lots!!!💗💗-💜

I had like two other stories outlined but I think they're going to go on the back burner from now. There's enough of an outline that they can wait really till whenever. I am excited about them though! I think Honey will be really adorable overall (even if I'm writing some pretty mean parts right now). Academic rivals I think won't be a ton of parts and I think it will kind of jump into the middle of their story, but I think that will be really grumpy/sunshine of them 🤭

It's okay, really. I guess it's "nice" I'm consistent. I can pretty much time when I'm going to feel kinda low. I think I hide it pretty well--not sure that's a good thing but it is what it is. I've got to do a lot of grocery shopping and meal prep today which I'm kinda dreading. Just want to keep writing 😭

I'm not surprised you did well! Based on how you study and worry about your classes I assume you're an amazing student. Like probably top of your class? We vibe like that and I always felt the same way. It takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice--but I'm glad you had a good weekend! Even if your social battery was drained.

My weekend was fine. Went for a few walks and just been writing my little heart out. I did get to rest. I wish I had read more this summer but that's okay. Hopefully I can use all the books I didn't read as a reminder to myself to take time during the school year to do something I like and need to do for me.

You're very sweet, I'm definitely going to try and find more balance--I did a pretty good job last year but some months get crazy. May/June is usually craziest (obvi) but that's a while from now so I'm not going to worry about it much until then.

AHHHH! That's so sweet. I'm glad it didn't come off stupid. I really felt conflicted by how lame it might have sounded. I think it helped that I never mentioned Harry knowing about it until that moment. 🤭

You're going to make me cry 😭 I'm really glad I came back to tumblr. Even if it's a little crazy now and things are different, I think about how I was feeling between 2018-2022 and how different I feel now. It is really nice to have a place where I can vent and chat even if it's a bit anonymously. I feel like you guys know me a lot better than a lot of my friends. But yeah. I love you SO MUCH! 💕 Thank you for being a part of my blog 💕

xoxo

[bisluthq]

I generally just infodump about Taylor Swift in my submission, but I actually need some advice (or literally just to vent).

So, about a month ago I moved from Grade 10 (high school) to Grade 11 (college) and obviously it's been an adjustment period, but I'm starting to get used to things.

The problem is, like a week after I expressed to my best friend that I'd felt like our friend group (including her) were sort of just tolerating my presence, she texted me this LONG text basically saying that she's been trying to find the right way to say things, and that she really cares about me, doesn't want to hurt my feelings, how I haven't done anything wrong, but she's going through some shit and is really struggling mentally at the moment, and basically needs some space, and feels like she can't be there for me in the way I deserve.

I cried when I saw it, but I understood (and still do understand) where she was coming from, and was very supportive of what she'd said in my follow up messages. But since then, every time I've seen her at school she's been with out other friend, even though she said she'd expressed this to other people.

Me, her, and the other friend all share a maths class, and they've stopped sitting with me. The first time it happened, she texted me that night and was like, "fuck were you here today? I'm so sorry."

And to be quite honest, I'm upset, but I sort of feel like I shouldn't be. She's done everything "right", and done her best to make it clear I haven't done anything, but it still feels a little targeted, especially since when I told her about feeling ignored she was like, "I really think for your sake you need to get out more/talk to more people" but even that was phrased as nicely as possible.

It's all just a mind-fuck, and I don't what to do. I've just been hanging out with some other people I'm a little less close to and it’s been great, but she's my best friend and I hate not talking to her, even if I get why.

I think transition periods (middle to secondary; secondary to college; college to uni; uni to workplaces) often come with these sorts of complicated friend situations and it absolutely does suck. I think you’re justified in feeling a bit ticked off and it is - imho - a little bit personal (which is okay). By the sound of it, she wants to craft a bit of a new identity and strike outside her established comfort zone and you’d prefer to stay close and keep the status quo. That’s an impasse. I’d recommend trying to make some new friends and getting out your comfort zone too. You and her might reconnect in time, or maybe you’re growing in separate directions. That’s definitely sad but it’s a part of life. I’d focus on making new friends at college and your extramurals/part-time job. Be proactive. The people you like from college but aren’t close to - why not invite them to do something together? You aren’t close now but you might become close and it’s a chance to spread your wings and make new friends (which seems to be what she wants to do too). Neither of you are at fault - this is a really hard but normal thing to go through.

I had a similar situation actually partway into uni so not even during a life transition but basically a friend told me a similar thing. It was right after my ex and I broke up and I was sorta leaning on being very sociable and she and I had been friends since school and anyway I kept asking her if she wants to hang out and eventually she said to me that she feels we’re growing apart and should take some space from each other. Her and I actually went on to do the same postgrad course and we’ve hung out again but we’ve never been THAT close and yes it hurt a lot (her message was ruder than your friend’s btw) but eh she was probably right like we were growing in different directions and the close friendship was running its natural course. Didn’t make it hurt less but I wish her well and I’m glad I did manage to make a bunch of new friends at uni - many of whom are lifelong friends - which I probably wouldn’t have done if she hadn’t sorta given me that push and carried on focusing on like her and our other school friend and mutual friends with my ex.

allow yourself to hurt and mourn a bit but also go out and be sociable and make new friends imo!

[roseintheclouds97]

Hello, it’s Eris again.

I’ve done a lot of thinking and I wanted to give you a proper apology. The way I left was really shitty. REALLY shitty. And I hate it and felt so guilty and I did it anyway bc well…I don’t want to call myself a shitty person bc I’m not. I just see that I have a lot of things I need to work on when it comes to friendships and running away…

I’m sure you noticed how often I’d try to run from my twin and I even often told you how I hated how I’d make friends online and then they’d leave with no explanation and ghost me despite me getting so attached. And now I went and did the same thing to you. In fact I spent so much time thinking about it I suddenly remembered you are not the first friend I’ve made online that I ran away from and just decided to leave out of nowhere and it sucks bc I’ll never be able to apologize to those girls. Or even comprehend why I do run away so suddenly despite knowing firsthand the pain it causes.

But I can apologize to you. I’m sorry. I don’t ask for forgiveness. But I do want to express my regret because you’re such a lovely girl and you didn’t deserve to just be left out in the cold like that and I AM sorry. Idk there’s some trauma there I need to work on to figure out why I do it. But I just wanted to apologize for it because it’s not your fault and it’s nothing you said or did. I truly did enjoy every one of our conversations and I’m sooo glad we talked as long as we did. You were there for me through my aunt’s cancer when I had no one else to talk to and when I was being dumb about my twin or ranting about life or the universe or whatever the fuck came to our minds. And I know it wasn’t one sided. We both were able to just vent and express ourselves and I’m really truly grateful because you are an amazing friend and a beautiful, intelligent young woman with so much potential.

So despite my shitty exit I wanted to remind you that you are an incredible woman and I hope me leaving hasn’t deterred you in anyway. Do NOT give up or istg- don’t let your father or mother or smelly ass ugly ass pilot or even the loser who couldn’t take a confession from you or shady people who shouldn’t be getting married get in your way.

I know it doesn’t seem like you’ve made any progress but throughout our time talking I watched you become more and more confident and bold and daring and give less and less fucks about the toxic people draining you and I’m so proud of you. You have to give yourself credit. You might be changing slowly but you ARE changing and you are trying and fighting tooth and nail and I hope you can acknowledge that bad bitch part of you that still thrives despite the shitty conditions you’re put in.

I don’t care if you want to be a flight attendant or win a pageant or move to Bora Bora and sell coconuts. You stick to your dreams and you keep fighting, girl. Bc fuck you’re incredible! And it would be a damn shame if you told me all that you have and you did nothing to continue writing your story. This is only chapter one bitch! Get to writing! There’s still so much to tap into.

I’m doing better :) mentally, I mean. I have my bad days but I started taking these stress gummies and they help a LOT which maybe means I need anxiety meds but for now gummies it is. I’m motivated, I’m happy again. I’m relaxed most days. I’m exercising and I bought myself new clothes. I’m going to go to that 5sos concert and have a good ass time. You’ll be happy to know I haven’t fought with my twin at all and I’ve had three dreams of him(wow! New record 🤩) and two of them were about meeting him so who knows 👀 won’t get my hopes up though bc been there done that.

Oh and I put my two weeks notice in today! I’m happy to quit and move on and yeah school will be hard but mentally I’m happier there than clocking in at a shit job that drains me. But we do it bc we have to. Bc it’s a temporary stepping stone so remember that, okay? We need money so we work but it’s not forever!

I’m not on here but I wanted to again apologize and idk I hope you’re doing well and I felt like you deserved another less rushed apology even if it’s still vague and shitty. I’m always rooting for you regardless of my shitty coping mechanisms 🥹

Idk if any of this makes sense or if it makes it worse. I just wanted to say I’m sorry again. Best <3

I know you probably won’t see this, but I hope you have a happy new year. 🎊

There’s a lot I wish I could say to you and tell you about these past few months. I thought I’d give replying to your last message a try.

At first I didn’t know how to feel. I’ve been abandoned too many times to count at this point, so while it hurt, it was kind of expected. I don’t really have any friends right now either and the new ones I tried to make during training ended up being pretty fake.

Still very much alone but I’m learning to be okay with that. I’d rather be alone than surrounded by people who only use me.

Can’t say some of the bad decisions haven’t continued but it’s been a rough couple of months so you can’t completely blame me. Lost my grandma. Hate my job (yeah I’m a flight attendant). Two people disappeared with no notice (one of them being you). But I’m hoping next year is gonna be much better. I do have plans that I hope to follow through with.

I think you’re the last person I could hold a grudge against because we are very similar and I understand why you did what you did because I’ve been in your shoes before. So If you ever decide to reach out again I have a buddy pass with your name on it to take you to Korea or wherever you want to go. I’m literally just one flight away if you decide to open your heart to friends again 🩵

[ambitionsource]

AMBITION “Living Memory” [ 4.11 ]♮PART 1, half 2

INT. CHEY APARTMENT - KITCHEN - DAY

Nigel is grabbing a quick lunch before his afternoon class, taking the peace of most of his family being out in the middle of the day to catch up on some reading. So he isn’t expecting his father to step back into the kitchen, lifting his eyes from his book.

For a moment, the two stare at each other, not sure what to say. Then, Ernesto fills the silence.

Ernesto: Another job just came up over in Queens. So will be heading over there soon. [ off his nod ] What are you reading?

Nigel holds up the book so he can see the title. Titus Andronicus. Ernesto hums.

Ernesto: That is a good one. Heavy, though. Nigel: Yeah. You’re the one who raised me on Romeo & Juliet. Ernesto: True. Perhaps I am guilty as charged.

That manages to earn the smallest of smiles from Nigel. It definitely is a bit easier to breathe around his dad, who has shared his appreciation for literature and always seemed to “get” him.

Even if his reaction to his ambitions wasn’t the most encouraging either. Ernesto chooses to try to address that, clearing his throat.

Ernesto: It’s been very quiet around here. Since that… big conversation. Your mom is quite upset. Nigel: Is she? That makes two of us. Ernesto: The things that were said… there wasn’t any ill intent, Nigel. You know that we both are very proud of you, and all your passions.

Actually, Nigel thought he knew that, but now it all feels up in the air. That’s precisely the problem. Words are just words, after all… and if someone hears the wrong ones more than the right…

Ernesto: It was just surprising. You didn’t bring it up to us with much time to consider it. Nigel: When exactly was I supposed to? How much time would you have needed? A day? A week? My whole life? Because based on what mom said, sounds like she would’ve been ready… never. Ernesto: That’s not true. That’s not how she feels. Nigel: Well, that’s what I heard. And she’s not the one standing here trying to convince me otherwise, so doesn’t that kind of speak for itself?

Ernesto frowns, but he can’t argue against that. The fact is, Nigel is more like Liezel than he realizes -- both of them are quiet, and a bit stubborn when they feel they’re in the right, and absolutely hate confrontation.

Ernesto: We just want what’s best for you, Nigel. It takes a bit of time to figure out what that is. Nigel: Cool. Glad what I want seems to be a big factor in that equation.

Ernesto sighs. Not getting anywhere. Not that it really matters -- he knows this isn’t really about him. It’s up to Nigel and Liezel to work it out. All he can do is try to smooth out the ruffled feathers.

Right now, not going so well. Nigel heads into the living room and grabs his backpack from the couch.

Nigel: I’m sorry, dad. I’m sorry… that this sucks, and that I’m not doing it right. That I’m not being what you guys want me to be. Ernesto: That isn’t how we feel. It’s not how I feel.

But he can’t speak for Liezel, and that’s what stings the most.

Nigel: Well, thanks. But now I’ve gotta go to class.

You know, at the school he doesn’t want to be at anymore. He steps out without waiting for a response, Ernesto rubbing his face once he’s alone.

INT. CHEY APARTMENT - EXTERIOR HALLWAY - DAY

Nigel exhales a weighted sigh of his own, leaning back against the apartment door. The apartment he’ll probably never leave, trapped in the limitations of his own talent and the expectations of his mother. Perpetual disappointment, potential unfulfilled, destined to always be second string and three steps behind the curve.

Is this all he has left to look forward to? Is this really the rest of his life?

Nigel pushes off the door and starts down the hallway, as the eclectic backing instrumental kicks up --

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “23” as performed by Wallice || Performed by Nigel Chey

Nigel launches into the off-beat soliloquy with gusto, emotion leaking through despite his flat, unaffected delivery. The song is somewhat mocking in tone, but there’s a real insecurity underneath, a youthful desperation that goes deeper than poorly fitting universities. He sings directly towards the camera as he moves down the hall, arriving at the stairwell.

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING - STAIRWELL - DAY

He plods through the remainder of the first verse as he descends the flights of stairs to the lobby, glimpsing the banal existences of other residents as he passes the doorways. Kids blowing off school with the conviction that there’s nothing more important in life than what they’d rather do right now; women juggling babies on their hips that they couldn’t seem to care less about. Lonely elderly folk with no one to share company with, toddling back to the lonely apartments they’ve inhabited for decades.

All different phases of stuck, stunted by the reality of life.

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING - LOBBY - DAY

Nigel makes it into the lobby in the build-up to the first chorus, backing up against the main doors and letting the musical confession claw out of his throat.

I’m terrified of the future Scared that I’ll still be a loser!

Then he falls backwards through the doors --

EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - DAY

And bursts into the chorus as he traverses through his neighborhood. Passing by more folks looking disillusioned with life, each of them including Nigel suddenly accompanied by a little rain cloud over their heads. So overshadowed by what isn’t working, the things that are haunting them, that they can’t see the sun right above them.

Nigel rolls through the high-energy chorus, daydreaming about a future where he maybe he just gives up. Skips all the pain of figuring things out, marries his badass successful partner and plays trophy husband instead. Having dreams doesn’t seem to be working out for him otherwise.

He reaches the subway entrance and jogs down the steps…

INT. SUBWAY CAR - MOVING - DAY

Just as the raucous guitar solo takes over, accenting the mundane chaos of the train ride into Manhattan. Nigel is packed into the center of it all, ironic rain cloud still over his head, staring dead at the camera as he sways with the uneven rhythm of the subway. All the other passengers mimic his empty expression, going through the motions just the same.

EXT. NEW YORK STREETS - DAY

Nigel is back above ground as he slips into the second verse, this one vulnerable than the first. He’s heading towards NYU campus with his hands stuffed in his pockets, dragging his feet the whole way there. Riffing off how he imagines his parents must feel about him, what they dread is going to be his inevitable future if he screws everything up.

Art school dropout at 21, Disappointed my mom, did it just for fun

He doesn’t want to throw everything out of whack. He doesn’t want to let them down. But as he stares up at the NYU buildings looming over him, promising three more years of contorting into a box he doesn’t quite fit, he just can’t stomach it. He shakes his head and turns the other way.

Had to choose between being broke and bored So I cut my losses and I left New York

EXT. CENTRAL PARK - SHAKESPEARE GARDEN - DAY

So he finds solace in his favorite space, retreating to the familiar comforts of the Shakespeare Garden. This is where he truly starts to crack, the frustration and fear of how everything is spinning out a powerful adversary against his wiser instincts.

Don’t know why I feel so dumb The best of my years are yet to come

But at this point in their lives, when everyone keeps saying you have to have it all figured out, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everything feels like the end of the world, and the possibility that there’s better things waiting on the other side feels like a cruel trick to gamble on.

EXT. CENTRAL PARK - BOW BRIDGE - DAY

Nigel finishes up the performance while traipsing through the park, repeating the chorus to its conclusion. As the guitar noise fills the soundscape again, he stops in the middle of the bow bridge, dangling his lanyard over the side while he looks down at his reflection in the water.

He doesn’t like what he sees, on a number of fronts. It just isn’t right. He fussily removes an NYU keychain from his key ring, giving it a dissatisfied scowl.

I just can't wait to be all grown up and 23 And tell me what is wrong with me

Reflection frowning back up at him, he throws the keychain away, abruptly cutting off the music as it hits the water. Disrupting his image in a series of ripples as it disappears under the surface, sinking into the darkness.

Grace, pre-lap: Will you please just tell me what’s wrong?

INT. KENNETH’S BEDROOM - FLASHBACK - DAY

Grace is over in her boyfriend’s room, decorated with all the trappings of a typical nineties teenage boy. He’s got some country and punk band posters on the wall, along with taped up baseball cards and mementos from their high school. On a shelf by the door, medals and trophies sit on display from football and baseball alike -- though they don’t seem to get much attention from him.

Right now, Grace is hovering underneath the shelf, arms crossed and feeling equally ignored. Another trophy in his collection, whether he’s always happy about that or not. Because for now, he’s intent on ignoring her, reclined on his bed and absentmindedly tossing a baseball into the air. Pointedly pretending she isn’t there.

Although so much of their romance has been a whirlwind, dreamlike and heart-racing and deep, this is an angle that Grace hasn’t yet figured out how to crack. These odd times where Kenneth seems to morph, to lose his natural charm and become something else. Moody, uncommunicative, cold. So unlike the thoughtful, sunny guy she knows -- the one she’s fallen in love with.

She knows she can be equally reserved, just by nature, but she’s trying. At least she’s trying to communicate and let him in. When he gets like this, it feels like talking to a wall.

Grace: I’m trying to help you, you know. Kenneth: Huh. Don’t remember when I asked for help. Grace: You’ve been in a terrible mood since this weekend. Every time I try to talk it through, you just totally shut me down. If I can do anything to help, I will, but I can’t do that unless you tell me what’s wrong. Kenneth: [ with a scoff ] Yeah, right.

Okay, seriously, what is his deal? She came all the way over here, snuck out to do so since her parents don’t let her visit (on the record) when his parents are out of town, and he’s just going to treat her like this?

Kenneth: I didn’t ask you to come over here. You did that on your own. Grace: Yeah, I did. Because I’m worried about you. But if you’re just going to snipe at me like this, then yeah, maybe I’ll just go -- Kenneth: Ugh, no! Don’t get like that, damn.

As if she’s being the unreasonable one. Grace huffs, eyeing him sharply as he pushes upright to sit on the edge of his bed.

Grace: Then what is your issue? Kenneth: You wouldn’t get it, okay? It doesn’t mean anything to you. Grace: Try me. Kenneth: I’m honestly surprised you don’t already fucking know, since I’ve told you more than once. The game on Friday, the one where we lost by a fucking landslide? That I screwed up? Grace: It wasn’t your fault. It’s a team sport. Maybe the other team was just better. Kenneth: Wow, thanks. You’re so supportive. Grace: I wasn’t -- what I’m saying is -- Kenneth: [ cutting her off ] The point is, we absolutely bit it. And that’s bad shit, because like I told you -- if you cared to listen to anything I say -- the scouts from A&M were there. This was my chance to show them what I’ve got, and they saw me play the biggest loss of my career instead. Grace: … well, there will be other games. Kenneth: Ha, tell that to my fucking dad! You should’ve heard him when we got home. Grace: They scout more than once, right? So when they come back -- Kenneth: Ugh, are you stupid? Do you hear anything I’m saying?! [ getting to his feet ] I screwed up! It’s over for me! I had one shot, and I just had to go and --

He growls and throws the baseball as hard as he can into his laundry basket, a true fastball in such short distance. It has enough power on it to bang the wall behind the basket, causing Grace to flinch.

Even so, she feels for him. She knows the pressure his dad puts on him, how hard he works to be perfect on and off the field. She can empathize with that.

Grace: I’m sorry. I’m sorry it didn’t go as planned. Like I said, there will be other opportunities. A&M would be insane not to want you on their team. Kenneth: Well, tell them that. You can follow my dad on the march right now -- where do you think he and my mama went this afternoon? [ with a snarl ] He’s doing everything he can to grease the right palms so I still have a shot. Grace: You’ll get on your own merit, I know it. You don’t need his help. Kenneth: You don’t know shit, Grace. Stop talking about shit you don’t know.

Well, if being kind isn’t going to work, what is she possibly supposed to do? She holds her arms out in surrender.

Grace: Okay, well, what do you want from me? I’m trying to be supportive -- Kenneth: You’re not doing a great job. Grace: Then tell me what you want. Tell me what you need me to do, and I’ll do it. But if you don’t tell me -- Kenneth: Oh, just stop. Stop lying! Grace: How the hell am I lying? Kenneth: Because we both know that ain’t true. You won’t do anything. We already know there are plenty of things you won’t do.

Grace shakes her head, totally bewildered. Kenneth seems to grow more frustrated at her innocent confusion, pacing slightly and clenching his fists at his sides.

Kenneth: And that just makes it worse. The way you act like you never know what I’m talking about. C’mon, Grace, just cut it out and be real with me. Grace: I don’t know what you’re talking about. What? Kenneth: I’m talking about the fact that you are so fucking frigid! That’s how I know you wouldn’t do “anything” -- because you haven’t. [ with a huff ] I mean, how many times have I told you I wanna be with you, that I’m dying to have you --

Oh, so this is about sex. Sex, and how apparently, she won’t put out. It’s clearly not the first time they’ve discussed it, either, because Grace visibly grows more reserved.

Grace: I don’t get what that has to do with anything. I’ve told you, I just don’t know if I’m ready. Kenneth: No, what you don’t know is whether you love me. If you actually feel about me the way I feel about you. Grace: That is not true. We do plenty of other stuff -- Kenneth: No, it is. It’s obvious. Because when I’m with you, I feel crazy. I feel like I’m on fire, and even just being near you makes me want to kiss you. I’m so in love with you, it’s driving me insane, and it’s all I can do to control myself around you. I want you that badly. But it’s never that way with you. I know it’s not the same. Grace: You don’t know how I feel, clearly, because none of that is true. It’s not that I -- it’s different for me. You’re a guy, you don’t get the pressure -- Kenneth: [ with a bark of a laugh ] Believe me, I know plenty about pressure. Pressure is my whole fucking life. You know that. Grace: It’s not the same. You keep jumping topics -- Kenneth: But I get it. I already know I’m lucky to be with you, that you chose me -- fact is, I wouldn’t want to have sex with me either. I wouldn’t want anything to do with me. It’s about time you figured that out.

Grace hates when he gets like this, when he talks about himself this way. Parroting the things his father tells him, grinding his own self-worth into the dirt. It’s worse than the cold silence, because it hurts her too. It hurts to hear him speak so poorly of the person she loves so much.

Grace: Ken, stop. That’s not true. Kenneth: I’m not good enough for you. We both always knew it. It was just a matter of time. [ cracking ] I’m not good enough for anything, so it’s fitting. I’m a failure, and a waste of space, and can’t do anything right. I’m destined to be that way forever. So just… quit while you’re ahead, all right? Go give it to someone who deserves it. Grace: Kenneth --

She closes the distance between them and touches his arm, turning him to face her. At first, he reacts without thinking, smacking her hand away. But she doesn’t shy away, having gotten used to his thoughtless physical movements -- a side effect of defensive play, she figures -- and pushes past it.

She takes his face in her hands and pulls him into a kiss, allowing that to say what words apparently can’t. Speaking a language he can understand.

It works. He kisses her back instinctively, automatically, as hungrily as he claims being around her makes him feel. Once they break apart, Grace continues to hold him close, waiting for him to meet her eyes.

Grace: You are not a failure. You are not a waste of space. Kenneth: But -- Grace: No. You’re not. You’re good. You are good enough. For everything, but especially for me.

She gives him another kiss, which he eagerly accepts. This one deeper, heavier, than the last. When they manage to pull apart again, Grace holds his gaze… then lowers her hands to start unzipping his jeans.

Kenneth: Grace… Grace: You are good enough. You deserve this. You deserve me. [ with a shaky exhale ] Let me show you how much.

He’s right, after all -- she does want him, even if she’s better trained at hiding it for the sake of Southern decorum. If she’s waiting for the right time, or whatever, what better moment is there than now? When she can make it mean something -- when it can prove just how much she loves him?

If it’ll make him happy, if it’ll fix his broken edges, she’ll do it. 

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Giving Him Something He Can Feel” as performed by En Vogue || Performed by Yindra Amino, Tabitha Flores, Ronica Lewis, Madisyn May, Kimmy Price, and Aleena Sayyid

She doesn’t have to ask twice, considering it’s been what Kenneth has been begging for. He doesn’t hesitate once she signals the willingness, pulling her into another loaded kiss. He nudges her back onto his bed and climbs on top of her, letting her remove his t-shirt.

Grace closes her eyes as he starts to kiss down her neck, losing herself in the moment. Convincing herself it’s right, that it’s what they need -- because it’s love.

As the girl-group harmonies of En Vogue float in… transitioning to a newer mix of voices…

INT. JUPITER RECORDS - RECORDING STUDIO - DAY

The major nineties hit serves as the mixing base for the final girl-group tests, the producers and label executives combining different varieties of the remaining six girls to seek that perfect bombshell combination of five. They isolate certain voices, test their ranges, and pull them in and out of the formation to have them listen to the others -- dreading that they’ll be the one who doesn’t fit.

It’s also a chance to pit them against one another, as they have certain girls sing the same parts nearly back to back. Yindra is highly aware of this as the process unfolds, after the way she’s already been set up against Aleena -- the latter of whom won’t even look at Yindra as the exercise goes on.

She especially feels this with Ronica, who is asked to sing basically every single line that Yindra is, sometimes one right after the other. She’s always known they were the closest direct competition for one another, given their vocal qualities and strength, only now it is being rubbed directly in their faces. At one point, they both record riffs at the same time, looking one another dead in the eye as they sing.

Feeling the pressure, Yindra doesn’t back down. She takes her riff solo to absolutely eviscerate Ronica’s more measured stylizations, belting her heart out and showing off her range. It might even be too much, objectively speaking, but Yindra is desperate. She’ll do whatever it takes to leave her mark -- even if it means humiliating her competition in front of everyone else.

For now, it seems to have the desired effect. The producers seem impressed after their riff-off, and Ronica looks a bit perturbed… as well as sheepish for being outshone. The other girls are clearly abuzz about it as well, whispering to one another. Yindra beams as she’s moved to a different part of the formation, accepting a nod of approval from Tabitha for her good showing.

But once the moment passes, the fierce bite of competition ebbing, Yindra feels weirder about it. She glances at Ronica, then looks away in embarrassment of her own.

INT. TURNER ACADEMY - THEATER - DAY

Meanwhile, Zay is in the midst of trying to decide what to do for his talent slot at the transfer gala, pacing the stage. He’s dressed for rehearsal, but it doesn’t seem like he’s done much actual dancing. He’s more so just brainstorming, thinking out loud, occasionally doing a light spin for no reason in particular because when he moves his body is just made to dance.

Zay: I could throw together another whole routine. Or maybe even just do my audition performance again -- I wonder how many times someone has done that -- but to be honest, I don’t really wanna bare my soul out there like that in front of everyone. Not that I couldn’t do it, but once was enough for a semester. Not to mention if I did do that, and then I didn’t get announced as a finalist, that would be enough humiliation to last a lifetime I think.

As it turns out, he’s not just talking into the ether. Charlie is there with him, standing down by the lip of the stage rather than on it. He’s supposed to be helping Zay come up with an idea, seeing as he respects his tastes (mostly) and he’ll be there to see him pull it off anyway.

Only Charlie isn’t doing a great job of that. Even though he’s usually a good listener, he’s zoned out this afternoon, mind elsewhere while Zay rambles on stage.

Zay: If I’m being frank, I think I’m just going to forgo dance all together at this point. Like, all of us know why we’re there. We’ve watched each other dance all year. It’s redundant. You’d hope that most of them would realize I’m already leagues better than they’ll ever be, so I don’t think I need to like rub salt in that wound. But what to do otherwise, well…

Zay trails off when he turns to face the front, catching a better look at Charlie. Noticing he’s uncharacteristically tuned out; eyeing the melancholy expression he’s let slip back onto his face. Although he was able to come off neutral enough when they ran into each other at Chubbies, spending more time together makes the cracks in his facade more obvious. Like by spending even a few more minutes in his company, Zay is holding him up to the light, able to assess all of his less-than-perfect features.

Chubbies didn’t seem like the right place to ask. It wasn’t the right time. But now it’s just the two of them, and Zay has a valid reason to nudge… it feels weird to think about, to contemplate peeling back the lid of the Pandora’s Box between them when they’ve spent so long at an emotional distance…

But it’s Charlie. It’s Charlie, and Zay knows that if he saw him with a similar expression, he’d ask him about it in a heartbeat.

And if there’s anything he can do, for whatever it is, he wants to do it. So Zay clears his throat, starting to saunter back towards the edge of the stage.

Zay: You know --

Charlie jumps slightly, pulled out of his thoughts by the more direct address. He looks up at Zay and quickly plasters on a smile, as if he wasn’t just a million miles away in his own head.

Zay: I know it’s been a while, but I would still consider myself a pretty decent study in the field of Charlie Gardner. And as someone who knows you’re usually a very eager and engaged collaborator, I can’t help but notice you’re a bit… out of sorts.

Charlie shrugs, still maintaining the practiced smile. So convincing.

Charlie: What do you mean? Zay: Dude, you’re like a thousand miles away. Metaphorically, that is. Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather have that than you literally that far away, in like France or whatever, but the distance is still felt. Charlie: I don’t… I don’t know what you mean. I’m all good. What were you thinking about for your performance, again? Zay: Ah, classic Chuckles maneuver -- innocent diversion. Which it’s nice that you want to pretend to care about this, but if it were genuine, you would’ve been paying attention like two minutes ago.

Damn… it really is something to be known so well. Charlie scoffs, trying to shrug off the commentary, but it’s pretty difficult when he has him so pegged. Years of friendship don’t just evaporate.

Zay raises his hands in surrender.

Zay: I’m not saying that you have to talk about it -- if there’s anything to talk about. If you’re telling the truth, and there isn’t, okay, no biggie. What I am saying is that if there’s something going on, I’m down to hear about it.

He arrives at the front of the stage, plopping down into a sitting position on the edge and letting his legs dangle. He’s much closer to Charlie this way, only a couple of inches taller and much more effective at looking him in the eyes. Charlie tries to hold his gaze, to prove he’s fine…

But then Zay tilts his head, narrowing his eyes suspiciously, and he cracks. He laughs quietly in spite of himself at first, looking away and pretending the flush in his cheeks isn’t there. Zay cracks a light smile, but doesn’t rush him, patiently waiting for if he decides to share.

So… after a moment, Charlie sighs, nodding in defeat.

Charlie: It’s… you know that thing I was doing the night of your audition? Why I left early? [ off his nod ] Well… um -- that “plan” was telling my mom.

He doesn’t have to say what. All levity from moments before is gone in an instant. Zay grows serious, jaw dropping open.

Zay: Holy shit. No way. Charlie, bleakly: Way. So… that happened. [ with a sheepish laugh ] And you know how I said that it went fine? I lied. It… did not go great.

Charlie laughs again, mostly because if he doesn’t he thinks he might choke on it. Saying it out loud makes it sting more, somehow, like acknowledging it makes it more real.

Zay understands. Because he knows how big a deal this is, how much importance this moment held in Charlie’s mind. He honestly wasn’t sure it would ever happen. Now that it has, and apparently did not go well -- not that he’s surprised, as he’s always had zero faith in Eleanor and her capacity for compassion…

No wonder he’s so subdued. Zay hops down from the stage so they’re at the same height, looking at him with an empathetic frown.

Zay: Shit, Charlie.

Charlie nods, keeping his eyes on his shoes. Mainly to hide the way his face is twisting up, how much he’s working to keep it together. As if Zay can’t tell anyway.

Zay wants to make it better. He wishes he could do something, find some way to make Eleanor’s judgment or the sting of her cruelty hold less power. He wishes he could carry it himself, so that it wouldn’t have to weigh Charlie down any more than it already has for years, even when it was just a threat rather than a reality. Especially now, when he’s been riding such a high, with a newfound confidence and shine that has been impossible to ignore since he got back.

Zay wants to touch him. To comfort him the way he used to, hold him close and share his warmth and give him something to lean on. Being there for him in a way that feels almost dangerously natural, even more so now given that he’s no longer hiding from his own complicated feelings. He nearly does, his hand instinctively reaching out to close the distance between them.

But he can’t. This isn’t about him, or what he wants. It would be selfish, and probably unwise, to bridge that gap when Charlie is so vulnerable. Even if he could just pass it off as friendship, as platonic camaraderie, he’d know damn well in his heart that wasn’t the case.

So Zay stops short, letting his hand come to rest on the stage between them instead.

He still wants to help, though, in whatever minor way he possibly can. He searches for an alternative.

Zay: Look, man. We don’t have to do this right now. My whole stupid -- let’s just forget about it. We can go do whatever, something you wanna do. It’s chill.

Charlie lifts his head to meet his eyes. Despite the thickness to his voice and the gloss in his eyes, when he responds, a bit of fond amusement bleeds through.

Charlie: You seriously think that you blowing off an important opportunity is going to make me feel better?

His number one fan? Be so serious. Zay shrugs, offering no good explanation, but he doesn’t know what else to say. He’s all out of things to give, and he really would give anything to make this hurt less. It’s all he has, and if Charlie needed it, he would let him have it. Easy.

But no. That won’t be necessary. Charlie scoffs out another weak laugh and shakes his head, swiping at his eyes quickly as he pulls himself back together.

Charlie: It’s okay. I’m okay, really. Is it ideal, no, but it is what it is.

It hurts, but it won’t shatter him. He’s not as fragile as he was just a few years ago. He exhales a deep breath, Zay watching him sympathetically.

Zay: I mean it, though. I know you were nice enough to accept my invitation, but you really do not have to go through with this shit just for me if you’re not up for it. I get it. Charlie: No. No, I want to come. And it’s good. The distraction is nice, honestly. I think I just didn’t -- it was harder when you didn’t know, because I didn’t want to like, burden you with it -- Zay: It’s not. A burden. You know you can always talk to me about stuff. Especially this. Charlie: … yeah. Yeah, I know. It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you. I just didn’t want to like, make a big deal or anything when you’ve got all this important stuff to work on. But now that you do know, I think… I’ll be able to focus better. Won’t feel as weird, hiding this big thing from you.

Speaking of, they should get back into it. Charlie shakes his arms to shake off the heaviness and suggests they start from scratch, pushing himself up onto the stage. Before he can go too far, Zay reaches out after him and takes his forearm, instantly getting his attention.

Zay: Again, just so we’re clear. If you need to talk about it, I’m here.

Charlie absorbs that -- the sincere declaration, and the warmth of his fingers on his skin. Then he nods, offering a smile that feels lighter than the forced ones from before.

INT. CHARLIE’S APARTMENT - LUCAS’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Dylan and Asher are helping Lucas put together his outfit for the funeral tomorrow, assessing his nicest clothing spread out on his bed. It’s just a big wash of grey and black, so they’re off to a strong start.

Asher: This might actually be easier than I thought.

Riley comes to join them, asking if Grace and Jack were able to negotiate with the funeral home to land on a good schedule. Lucas claims they texted him the schedule, passing his phone to Dylan so they can take a look for themselves.

Whatever Riley sees, it’s not good news. She frowns.

Riley: Shit. Asher: What? Riley: The start time -- it’s like right before I go on for the matinee. I was hoping to at least make part of it --

She wanted to be there the whole time. For all of them. She’s evidently distressed about this news, but Lucas doesn’t seem concerned.

Dylan: It’s no big deal, Riley. The whole thing is last-minute anyway, it’s not like you’d be expected to change plans. Asher: Least of all for Kenneth. Riley: I know, but -- Lucas: Riley, it’s fine. Seriously. You don’t need to be there -- fuck, I wouldn’t be there if I could get away with it.

His reassurances are genuine, but they don’t make Riley feel any better. She bites back her emotion and lets them go back to discussing proper funeral attire.

INT. GLOBAL BEAT - OFFICES - DAY

As the work day is winding down, Josh returns to his desk from the coffee dispenser just as JUSTIN MILLER and Melissa are wrapping up their last meeting of the day. They exit Justin’s office with another YOUNG STARLET (18) in tow, bright-eyed and gorgeous.

In fact, she could be a near dead-ringer for Maya. Josh has to do a double-take, thinking for a second she’s returned, but this girl is just like a carbon copy. As they walk her to the elevator, Justin takes care to introduce her to Josh.

Justin: Oh, Joshie, check this out -- meet Lindsay, our next great find. Josh: Hi, I’m Josh. Young Starlet: Nice to meet you.

They shake hands, Josh polite as always.

Melissa: Josh is the one who keeps the ship running around here. We owe him everything. Justin: No kidding. You’ll learn that quick, friend. And Josh, meet the next big thing. I’m telling you.

He pats Lindsay’s shoulders bracingly, just like he used to with Maya. Almost as if she’s a has-been, or never was, and they’re onto searching for the next instant hit-maker.

Josh says nothing as they walk away and continue chatting, but the resemblance feels striking and he can’t shake the weirdness of it. He’s never paid much attention to the kind of clients Justin and Melissa rope in before, but if he thinks about it, they do seem to have an eye for young, attractive bombshells.

Even so, none of them were Maya Hart. None of them had the talent, or the spark, that she so obviously brought to the table. So it feels even more bizarre that they’re scouting out new talent already, and acting as though her pause is just par for the course.

Like they’re wasting it. Yet again. Once he’s confirmed they’re out of sight, Josh sits back down at his desk and pulls out his phone, pulling up the email he’s had drafted for days. All of his notes on the songs in Maya’s portfolio, locked and loaded and ready to send her way.

He knows she ignored his voicemail. He knows she’s probably over him, working hard on her own stuff, and he should take the hint. But this industry is built on bold moves, and it’s killing him to sit on it and the sense that something isn’t quite right…

Jade, pre-lap: Are you actually seeing this right now?

INT. YINDRA’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

JADE BEAMON and Yindra are on a video call with Nigel, the three of them poring over the list of nicknames the label has sent Yindra for if she decides to be the one to take the name swap. Based on their reactions, it’s not a promising start.

Jade: “Drea.” That’s not even part of your name. Nigel: Yindrea? Jade: “Yi Yi.” Nigel: Sounds like Ariana Grande record scratching. Yindra: That’s “yuh,” Nige. Jade: More like sounds Kanye adjacent, which is a big no. Nigel: “Yincé.” Is that just Beyoncé lite?

Case in point, Yindra’s name is simply not built for cutesy nicknames. She paces the room and rubs her temples, trying to block them from her memory.

Jade: “Yinnie.” Nigel: That’s kind of cute. Jade: Yeah, if you’re Yinnie Youse and you work at Yisneyland. Yindra: The bad nicknames are not the issue. Nigel: I’d say they’re part of the issue. Jade: A decent 20%, at least. Yindra: Okay, yes, they’re terrible. But that’s not the point. The nicknames are irrelevant. It’s the principle that I can’t stand.

She resents being encouraged to change who she is -- let alone on the premise that her name isn’t Euro-centric enough to pass. Never has she once cared about that, and she isn’t about to start now.

Yindra: One of the reasons I wanted to go into this industry was to be what I wanted to see. I know how important Destiny’s Child was for me, seeing talented women who looked and sounded like me. If I change those things about me, the things that apparently others deem unconventional… then what am I even doing? What career am I building?

If she’s going to get her start, she wants to be her when she does it. Others may be fine bending to get their break, but that’s not who she is. She can’t stomach it.

Nigel: I hear you. I think you’re right. Jade: Me too. So maybe you just need to tell this other girl that and stand your ground.

Yindra doesn’t seem comfortable with that either. She already feels like an asshole for how she behaved during the last vocal session, even if it objectively worked in her favor. It’s dumb, but this whole thing feels like a trap -- like she’s going to be marking herself as a problem either way.

Yindra: I care about this, but I also don’t want to be the girl starting fights and getting on people’s bad sides before the group is even formed. I don’t want to make that reputation for myself. And the thing is, I like Aleena. She seems chill. I don’t want to make an enemy where I could desperately use an ally.

So the solution is… who knows. She doesn’t know. She knows what she wants, but she isn’t necessarily brave enough yet to assert it -- and she’s dreading the moment Aleena beats her to it and backs her into a corner she’ll have to battle her way out of. And it sucks to be assuming the worst in people, because so far in this industry, she hasn’t been shown she can bet otherwise.

Even so, as challenging as this all is, it’s easier than some of the stuff going on in New York right now. Yindra changes the subject, asking Nigel how things are going for him. Based on how he grows reticent and dodges the question, it’s obvious he hasn’t told either of them about what’s going on with his family -- or his pie-in-the-sky ambition to transfer either.

Thankfully, he has a convenient topic to redirect to that’s far more pressing.

Nigel: Could be worse. Believe me, I know this shit isn’t fun, Yindra, but there are much worse emotional places you could be right now.

INT. FUNERAL HOME - ENTRANCE HALL - DAY

But not everyone is so fortunate. The day of the funeral has arrived, Grace dutifully standing vigil at the door to greet guests as they enter. ERIC MATTHEWS is present as well, taking on the task of helping to hand out programs for the service.

If Grace is feeling mixed emotions about the whole thing, she does a great job of concealing it, passing for grieving but gracious widow with practiced precision.

INT. FUNERAL HOME - BACK HALLWAY - DAY

For as well as she’s doing, Lucas is the opposite. He’s dressed for the part, but the more guests and former friends of Kenneth arrive and file in for the service, the less steady he becomes. He tried to stay cool, to use his typical aloof approach, but it’s failing him. He’s breaking into a cold sweat, and his hands are starting to shake even as he balls them into fists. Guests keep trying to get a glimpse of him around the corner as they shuffle into the main parlor.

Kenneth isn’t there, but it’s also like he’s all around them. All these people here, so mournful and fondly memorializing the man who made his life a living hell.

That, and he’s never been good at being in the spotlight. It’s like he’s suddenly a kid again, the anxiety and stress of the moment hitting him like a ton of bricks just as Grace steps in to check if he’s feeling ready to go into the service.

Lucas, hastily: I’m gonna be sick.

He darts away from the group and stumbles down the hall towards the bathroom. Asher rushes after him without a second thought, Dylan not far behind. But he does double back to offer reassurance to Grace.

Dylan: We’ll take care of it. Don’t worry. He’ll be okay.

Even as he says it, he doesn’t sound convinced of it himself. Grace manages a nod, concern in her features, but she isn’t sure what else there is to do. The show must go on, whether they like it or not.

Isa has other ideas. They watch this whole scene unfold, and they know Dylan and Asher aren’t going to be able to cure him. Not this kind of grief; not this level of trauma. It’s going to take a force of nature, one of the only things they’ve ever known that can ground Lucas James Friar.

Ducking around the corner, Isa pulls out their phone.

INT. NYU - DRESSING ROOM - DAY

Riley is just finishing up her make-up for Ghost, looking pretty but begrudging as she does the final touches. She’s going through the motions, but today of all days, her heart is just not in it.

So when her phone buzzes with a text on the countertop, it feels like a message from more than just Isa.

“Funeral about to start, Lucas NOT doing well”

“I know ur about to go on, and this might not mean shit, but if I can pull an SOS on his behalf this is going to be the time”

Honestly, hearing it from them is about as crystal clear as it could be. Lucas would never ask Riley to put him first, or tell him how bad it really is when she has something else going on. He wouldn’t do that to her, but Isa can. Isa has no reason to lie, in either direction, and they know Lucas almost as well as Riley.

If they’re sounding the call, then they mean it. Lucas needs her. If there’s any time where he deserves to be put first, this may very well be it.

And Riley knew that. She’s known that the whole time, has felt it in her gut and been dragging her feet along doing what’s expected of her instead this entire time. She knows how important this is, how hard this whole thing is for Lucas, and wants nothing more than to be there with him to survive it. Despite her “professional” obligations, that was never a question for her.

So as she looks at her reflection in the mirror, dolled up for a show and just a step away from being in costume and launching into another rote performance, all she can think is one thing.

What the hell is she doing there?

And just like that, she makes her decision. Riley takes action, removing her mic pack and starting to gather her things. The other girls in the production notice her shift in behavior, none more so than Imogen, who stares at her.

Imogen: Um, what do you think you’re doing? You’re going to be called for places in like two minutes. Riley: Nope, I’m not. You said you studied your lines, right? Well, congratulations, you get the chance to prove it.

Riley marches over and hands her the mic pack.

Riley: You’re on, understudy. Break a leg.

Imogen is so stunned, she for once doesn’t have a pithy remark ready to go. Riley doesn’t wait for one, grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. By the time she makes it to the door, one of the other girls manages to speak up.

Cast Member: Where are you going? Riley: I can’t be here. I have to go. [ assertive ] Family emergency.

And she isn’t going to wait for permission. She leaves the ladies in shocked silence, Imogen only rallying when she realizes she is literally going to be onstage leading the show in mere minutes.

INT. NYU - BACKSTAGE HALLWAY - DAY

Riley runs into Evan as he’s on his way to the wings, the two of them twirling around one another. It only takes a second to see that Evan is all dressed for curtain, and Riley is very clearly not.

Evan: Whoa, whoa, where are you going? Stage is that way. [ looking her over ] And aren’t you forgetting something? Riley: I’m not going on. I have to go. Evan: Wait, what? Riley: Don’t worry, Imogen is already getting ready. She’ll be great. And if Hill has questions or blows a gasket, please tell her I’m sorry. I’ll touch base with her tomorrow and explain everything. But I can’t be here right now. Evan, bewildered: But -- Riley: I have to go. Lucas needs me.

That’s all she says. It’s all she has time for. She starts to jog away without further explanation, only pausing when Evan calls after her in disbelief.

Evan: Riley -- ! Riley: I’m sorry, Evan. You’ll be amazing, though, like always. I know it. Break a leg.

She offers him a sincere smile, then dashes down the hall and out of sight. No hesitation to leave him, and their entire production, behind. Evan stares after her, totally dumbstruck.

He’s only pulled out of it when a stagehand pokes their head through the doors, claiming they’re getting into places. With that, the show must go on… but he does look back over his shoulder as he pushes through the doors, still processing that Riley is throwing everything aside like that.

Just because of Lucas.

Rachel, pre-lap: I’m only saying all of this because I care about you. I wouldn’t if I didn’t think it was necessary.

INT. GRACE’S BEDROOM - FLASHBACK - NIGHT

Rachel is over at Grace’s, the two of them hanging out in her room. But “hanging out” feels too casual, because based on their posture this evening, they’re not having an easy-breezy conversation. Grace is definitely on defense, Kenneth’s oversized letterman jacket around her shoulders and arms crossed tightly over her chest as Rachel makes her case.

Rachel: But this is getting… I mean, Gracie, this is nuts. Grace: I don’t know what you mean. Rachel: Come on. Since when do you give one solitary shit about Texas A&M? Grace: It’s a great school. There’s no reason not to go there. Rachel: Lots of schools are great schools. But what I know is that until summer, when Kenneth enrolled there, you had never once mentioned it. But now that he’s spent a semester there and is on football scholarship, you suddenly have it as your top choice?

Grace huffs, shuffling uncomfortably.

Rachel: What happened to California? You were talking non-stop about that creative writing program at Berkeley. Hell, I helped you edit your portfolio. You spent so much time on it, and it was fucking good. What happened to all that? Grace: I decided to be realistic. We know I’m not going to get in there. Rachel: No, we do not. Who says? Grace: My parents will be happier with this anyway. Me not going so far away. And I won’t have to leave the horses -- Rachel: Oh my God, Grace, please be serious. You know it’s not about any of that. You know this is about Kenneth, and your codependent as hell relationship. He wants you to stay here with him. Grace: That’s not true.

Only her delivery is far from convincing. So she tries to deflect instead, bristling.

Grace: Is this the only reason you wanted to come over tonight? To grill me from some random high horse you just suddenly adopted? Rather than, I don’t know, hanging out since we haven’t gotten to spend much time together in like, weeks? Rachel: No kidding! You tell me! How do you think it felt to have our English teacher ask me about your college plans, kindly informing me of your apparent decision to go for A&M, when you’re supposed to be my best friend? And gee, I wonder why we haven’t hung out in ages -- maybe because every single millisecond of your free time is spent at A&M glommed onto your bland, cocky boyfriend? Grace: I can’t believe you’re saying all of this to me! As if you weren’t the one who set us up in the first place! As if you didn’t encourage and encourage me to get out there, to give Ken a chance -- Rachel: I just wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to experience things, to get out of your shell. I didn’t expect him to want to date you. Grace: … wow. Okay. Rachel: And then when he did, I thought, okay. Great. This’ll be great for you, a confidence booster. A chance to prove hey, you are so much more than you let yourself believe. And for a while, it was. For a while, I was all for it. But if I had known you two would become inseparable and this borderline toxic, follow-your-man fifties bullshit, I never would’ve done it. Biggest mistake of my life, for real! Grace: Well, sorry to disappoint you. Sorry that I fell in love. Sorry that a boy dared to love me back, and have it mean something. Rachel: [ with an eye roll ] Oh, puh-lease… Grace: Sorry that I’m not also a fucking slut who can’t see any man as longer than a one-time plaything!

Woof. Grace wanted the focus off of her, and she took whatever weapon she had at her disposal -- with massive impact. Rachel blinks, taking the hit hard, staring at her best friend like she doesn’t even recognize her.

Suppose practically swimming in the embrace of Kenneth’s jacket, whoever she knows and loves is hidden away.

But like hell is Rachel going to let her hurt show. She scoffs and blinks back the tears, steeling her expression and holding Grace’s glare.

Rachel: You know, I thought we had it all figured out. I thought you and I were gonna get out of this state, and we were gonna be something. Whatever you wanna call it, I thought we were one in the same. Kindred spirits, or whatever. [ looking her over ] Obviously, I was wrong.

Grace wants to cry, overwhelmed and defensive and terrified of the doubt creeping up her spine at Rachel’s words. She doesn’t understand; she just doesn’t get it. She doesn’t know Kenneth -- not the way she does.

And if she can’t see that, then suppose she doesn’t really know her either.

Grace: Yeah. I guess you were.

Terrific. A tear slips down Rachel’s cheeks, but she doesn’t bother to swipe it away. She isn’t going to give it that much power. Instead, she grits her teeth, making sure to look Grace dead in the eye as she walks away.

Rachel: Good luck, letting Kenneth determine the rest of your life. Hope all that love is worth it. Have a fucking blast at A&M playing shadow.

She whips around and storms out of her room, slamming the door behind her. Grace jumps at the sound, which feels even louder in the empty room she left behind… she wraps herself tighter in the letterman jacket, burrowing deeper into whatever comfort she can glean from it.

Digging into the belief that she’s making the right choice.

INT. L.A. APARTMENT - MAYA’S BEDROOM - DAY

Back in the present, Maya is seeking a similar sense of comfort. She’s bundled up in her comforter, using her laptop to look through old videos of her performing. As far back as when she was a kid, less refined yet just as full of bravado and volume, but even as recent as her years at Adams.

She seems so enthusiastic in all of them, filled with the joy of performing regardless of what other bullshit was going on in the meantime. Fairweather friends, abandoning fathers, near-miss suicides -- none of that can touch her when she’s allowed to sing, when she gets to put on a show. When she’s in performer mode, she’s invincible.

It was only a year ago that she was there, but it feels like a lifetime. That easy confidence and instant joy feels so foreign, like her memory has been wiped and she doesn’t know how to access it. It’s been on shaky ground since she came to L.A., and she’s been trading bits of it away in pursuit of whatever it was that was supposed to matter more than anything.

And then in one night, Justin took it all like it was nothing. Just another day in the business.

Maya’s cheeks are flushed, her eyes taking on that uncomfortable teary feeling again. She grits her teeth and shuts her laptop, cutting off her younger self unceremoniously. She climbs out of her blanket cocoon, suddenly feeling suffocated.

As the sultry, melancholic synths ease in…

EXT. LOS ANGELES STREETS - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “In L.A.” as performed by Fame - The Musical Original Off-Broadway Cast || Performed by Maya Hart

Fittingly, as the certified A class Carmen Diaz, Maya finds herself singing her devastating second-act soliloquy as she wanders the sunlit streets of Los Angeles in a desperate search for fresh air to breathe. Much like the original rendition, Maya has discovered the promises and allure of fame and Hollywood aren’t all that they seemed, even for someone as savvy and strategic as her. 

She starts off quiet, unsure, almost like a murmur and distinctly un-Maya. A reflection of how out of sorts she feels, how out of control things are and how removed she feels from her voice.

EXT. ECHO PARK LAKE - DAY

After the first chorus, we arrive in Echo Park for the second verse. Maya walks the pathway around the iconic lake with her head down and arms crossed, on defense even though the joggers, college kids, and dogwalkers are hardly a threat.

After the booze and the coke, the visions of the blue Pacific After the two-hundredth time I told him he was “just terrific”

She makes her way down to the lake, looking into the murky water. Her reflection stares back at her, feeling unfamiliar, just as she starts to recount the things about being here that have left the strongest scars.

I woke up one late afternoon and couldn’t tell quite where I was Leftover taste in my mouth and with a morning after buzz

As she continues, getting deeper into the memories she’s been working for weeks to repress, her voice grows gradually in volume but also frenzy. While her vocals are emotive, they lack their usual discipline. These lines aren’t coming from a well-trained star performer -- they’re slipping out from the scared girl underneath, the one who has rarely needed to sing.

EXT. LOS ANGELES HIGH SCHOOL - DAY

Maya continues her walk, passing by a local high school. She’s basically invisible to the students here, lost in their own worlds, so she has to dodge to avoid being knocked into by a crowd of enthusiastic pals just getting out for the school day.

She looks over her shoulder after them, eyes welling up.

You try to stop the thought from coming but it never ends You think about how far you are from home and friends

She keeps walking, the lyrics becoming more strained as they fight to get out of her -- until she stops still at the end of the block, staring up at a towering advertisement plastered onto the side of one of the office buildings like a billboard.

One of her. One of the last ones she approved with Melissa and Justin before “Haute Stuff” dropped, the single that was never hers to begin with. Where she’s looking perfectly plastic, hot as hell but devoid of substance, the perfect bubblegum pop Barbie doll just begging to be played with.

Maya’s face is full of disgust, an almost visceral revulsion.

Don’t look in the mirror to see what you’ve become!

EXT. LOS ANGELES STREETS - DAY

The despair can’t be contained anymore. It practically bleeds out of Maya as she barrels through the remainder of the performance. It’s still unpolished, and raw, and far from her usual level of excellence, but God is it powerful. It’s spilling out of the deepest corners of her soul -- the loss of her ambition, her dreams, her sense of security. Her sense of self.

So smile when they say it’s only a dream And you’ll get what is coming to you

All swept away by the glitz of L.A., where all your dreams come true.

Maya finishes belting out the last blockbuster set of lines…

EXT. LARCHMONT - DAY

Then dwindles into the final lyric as she arrives back outside her building. But she can’t bring herself to go back inside -- there doesn’t feel like a need to. It’s not home. This place can’t be home anymore.

Instead, she leans back against the brick and slides down into a sitting position. As the music peters out, she wraps her arms around her knees and tucks her head against them, smaller than she’s ever been.

INT. SVORSKI’S COFFEE - DAY

Nigel steps into the coffee shop, surprised when he finds Vanessa waiting by the counter. They exchange awkward smiles, the former questioning what she’s doing there. He doesn’t think of her as a regular here.

Vanessa: Definitely not. But most of my usuals are over by Turner, and right now…

She’s kind of avoiding the place as long as she can hack it until this stupid gala thing is over. One more night! Unfortunately, that means higher risk of running into Zay, but she’ll take that chance.

Nigel: Oh, yeah. Sorry about that, by the way. Vanessa: So Zay’s telling everyone? Nigel: Actually, not really. He told Riley, and she told Lucas because she tells him everything even though he doesn’t care and probably won’t remember seventy percent of it. But I think Asher was there when she did, which meant it took less than twenty-four hours for Dylan to know, and at that point it becomes kind of impossible to track the thread within our group. Jade told me, for the record, not that it matters. Vanessa: Cool. That’s just swell. Nigel: If it helps, though, I don’t think anyone like… feels any type of way about it. Other than sorry it didn’t work out. As in, we love Zay, but we like you too. It’s just a bummer for everyone.

That is nice to hear, honestly. Part of the biggest anxiety Vanessa was nursing about the whole thing was the loss of the friendships she was starting to make beyond Zay -- which maybe says something in it of itself. She shrugs.

Vanessa: No need to take sides, really. Wasn’t exactly anyone’s fault. It just… didn’t work. Like you said.

But whatever. She’d rather talk about anything else. She changes the subject.

Vanessa: How did talking to your parents about London go? Did you tell them?

Speaking of things we’d rather not talk about… based on how Nigel’s expression dims, and he hesitates, the answer is obviously “not well.” And since Vanessa is one of the only people who knew Nigel was considering it, it seems clear that he hasn’t had the chance to really unpack it with anyone.

After a beat, Vanessa holds up a hand.

Vanessa: First things first. You need coffee.

INT. FUNERAL HOME - BATHROOM - DAY

Asher has talked Lucas back from the ledge, at least enough that he’s no longer crouched in front of the toilet in case he vomits. Lucas splashes cold water on his face while Asher hands him a paper towel.

Asher: Okay? Lucas: Better. [ a lie, but whatever ] I’m sorry. I don’t know -- I’m being so fucking stupid -- Asher: Lucas, it’s fine. Totally understandable. But you’re gonna be fine, too.

Lucas does not look convinced, and still looks a bit ill, but he doesn’t have much of a choice but to pull it together. He just has to get through the next few hours.

Once he’s dabbed his face dry, Asher leads him through one more calming breath. If he has to hold it all afternoon long to survive, so be it.

INT. FUNERAL HOME - BACK HALLWAY - DAY

Dylan is doing his best to reassure Grace that Lucas will be fine, but it’s not going well.

Grace: He didn’t want to do this. I only felt like we should -- if he can’t, then he shouldn’t -- Dylan: He’s going to do his best. He doesn’t want you to do this alone. And we’ll do everything we can to help.

But what if it’s not enough? Grace struggles to express just that, uncertainly stumbling over her words -- like mother, like son -- but Dylan’s outlook brightens significantly moments later when he spots something behind Grace over her shoulder.

Dylan: I think our odds just got a lot better.

Grace turns to look, following his line of sight.

Riley. She made it, just a few steps behind Isa as they lead her back into the hallway where they’ve been taking shelter. She’s changed out of her pre-show clothes and into an elegant semi-formal black dress, while her stage make-up and hair did her the favor of looking polished.

She outpaces Isa once she spots Lucas, finally emerging from the bathroom with Asher. She breezes past Dylan and Grace and rushes to meet him, colliding with him in the middle of the hall. Lucas is genuinely shocked to see her, like he can’t believe his eyes -- but the relief in his voice is palpable.

Lucas: [ voice cracking ] Riley? Riley: Yeah. Yeah, I’m here.

Her touch proves it, the two of them gripping each other’s arms to stay steady. Lucas shakes his head, even more out of breath than before.

Lucas: What -- what are you doing here? Your show -- Riley: Shh, it’s fine. Everything’s handled. You worked in show business long enough, surely you remember what understudies are for? Trust me, mine is thrilled.

Lucas is so overwhelmed, he doesn’t have it in him to argue. And selfishly, the solace of her presence is so immediate, so soothing, he wouldn’t let it go for anything right now. He lets Riley take his shaky hands, squeezing them tightly.

Riley: I’m exactly where I need to be. Now we just have to get through this. Which you will. Lucas: Okay. Yeah, okay. Riley: Just a couple hours. You’ve faced way harder things before. And I’m right here. I’m with you.

There’s nowhere else she’d rather be. Lucas nods, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead against hers. Finding the grounding comfort of being close to her just for a moment, before they have to face it for real.

Honestly, Riley’s surprise appearance is a relief to just about everyone. Grace exhales a breath, while Isa smiles to themselves at the fast impact Riley has on Lucas.

Dylan approaches and pats Riley on the shoulders, both as a welcome and a subtle nudge that it’s time to go. The service is about to start. When Lucas steps back from her, he meets Dylan’s eyes, who raises his eyebrows at him.

Ready?

Lucas takes a deep breath, still shaky but holding it together. He looks to Riley again, who gives him a warm smile. He intertwines their hands and grips it like an anchor, then gives Dylan a nod.

Grace leads the way back to the entrance hall, Isa following behind. Then Lucas and Riley, taking the march one step at a time; Dylan and Asher bring up the rear, the former throwing his arm around the latter and hugging him close.

INT. GLOBAL BEAT - OFFICES - DAY

Another quiet morning at the office. No sign of Justin or Melissa, but that’s not out of the ordinary. It’s just Josh, the other assistants typing away, and his thoughts.

Still no Maya. At this point, he wonders if she’s ever going to come back. Did he make it weird with his voicemail, and now she’s avoiding him? Did he overstep? Or worse, is she having doubts? Given the direction Melissa and Justin are taking her, putting her in a plastic shoebox of bland pop, he can’t say he’d blame her if she was.

So maybe it’s worth it to speak his truth. At least give her the ammunition to take her work further, the stuff that’s already good, even if he doesn’t get his name on the credits. Not like it would be the first time…

But if it helps her do more of her own stuff, showing her true range, then that’s worth it. That’s a legacy he’d want his fingerprints on, invisible as they may or may not be. Maybe she just needs a little bit of feedback or encouragement, since Justin and Melissa are clearly so busy spread across other clients. Whether she includes him, or ever speaks to him again, so be it.

As long as she keeps making killer music, he can live with that.

Before he can second-guess his instincts, Josh pulls up his drafts and opens the notes email to Maya, crafting a new leading message.

INT. L.A. APARTMENT - MAYA’S BEDROOM - DAY

Maya has at least managed to stay out of bed, hair still unkempt and far from her stylish best. She’s at her desk, struggling to force herself to eat so as to not make her lingering perpetual nausea any worse.

She’s hesitant when her phone lights up on her nightstand, not sure she wants to see who it is. What a grim change of pace, considering she used to get a burst of energy every time a new opportunity could potentially be gracing her phone. Now, she finds herself dreading what she may have to stuff down and avoid.

When she sees it’s from Josh, at first she’s wary, but then she sees the subject line. “Demo Notes.”

Curiosity winning out, she opens the email and gets to her feet, anxiously pacing as she reads through it.

“Hey,

If I made things weird again somehow, I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you this when I caught you in the office, but I haven’t managed to see you recently. Anyway, I listened to your demos, and they’re really good. There’s some serious stuff here. At the risk of being an arrogant asshole and overstepping again, I jotted down some thoughts I had while listening.

If you wanna do anything with them, by all means, go for it. A peace offering.

See you soon?”

Josh wasn’t kidding. He took time with these notes, evidently having deeply listened and thought about her demos. He took the time to listen at all, which is more than she’s been getting the last few months.

More than that, he’s talking to her. Just her. No mention of Justin, or Melissa -- and based on what she knows about him, his intentions are legit. He’s pathetically awkward, and a terrible actor. If he was trying to fish for his bosses, that would come through no matter how hard he tried.

He’s reaching out because he cares.

Struck with a sense of urgency, the overwhelming desire not to be trapped in isolation anymore, Maya finds herself frantically opening her text messages.

INT. GLOBAL BEAT - OFFICES - DAY

Whatever he was expecting after his olive branch, Josh is not anticipating such a fast response. He’s surprised when his phone buzzes within minutes, even more so when Maya’s contact lights up his screen. He opens it immediately, sitting up straighter.

“Lunch today?”

Josh stares at the message, then glances over his shoulder towards Justin and Melissa’s office. No one’s around to see…

He starts to type his reply.

Nigel, pre-lap: To be fair, I don’t know what I was expecting.

INT. SVORSKI’S COFFEE - DAY

He and Vanessa have taken a table in the corner, and Nigel has just finished giving her the rundown of how unideal his pitch to his parents went.

Vanessa: Ouch. Yeah… I can imagine the comment about Zay was a deep cut. Nigel: Definitely wasn’t my favorite critical commentary to receive, no. Unfortunately, that’s a common casualty of being his friend. Vanessa: Oh, even with my comparatively brief experience, I got that. Nigel: It’s not like it’s intentional or anything. And like I said, I had to adjust to that fast. I don’t hold it against him. But… sometimes it sucks. Constantly being in someone’s shadow. Especially when you love them. Vanessa: Mm. It’s that bigass head of his. It’s really good at soaking up all the sunshine.

Sorry, he can’t help it that he’s so legendary! Anyway, they’d both rather not focus on that angle of it, so it’s easy enough to push past it. Vanessa redirects to the actual core of the issue rather than the details of what was said -- his parents. Nigel nods.

Nigel: But yeah. Obviously did not go how I hoped. In fact, I can’t imagine how it could’ve gone any worse. Vanessa: Oh, come on, don’t say that. They could’ve disowned you, or threatened to pull you out of school entirely. It can always be worse. Nigel: That’s very comforting and inspiring, thank you. Vanessa: That’s what I’m here for. Master of emotional warm and fuzzies, didn’t you know this about me?

Nigel can’t help but smile at that, albeit weakly. He may not know Vanessa that well, all things considered, but he at least knows that much is a heaping dose of sarcasm. Then he shrugs.

Nigel: I don’t know. I guess I just thought… I mean, it’s not like my parents are hardcore art lovers. My dad is into lit and stuff, but… they’ve always been chill about the acting thing. So I guess some part of me just though, okay, they’ll have to think about it some, but they’ll be cool with it. They’ll want me to be happy. And their reaction was just so… not that. Vanessa: Not what you anticipated. Nigel: No. So maybe that was my mistake. I set myself up from the start. Vanessa: It’s nice you even had that illusion, though. That speaks more highly of them than you realize. Me, I know any time I bring up my “dreams” or whatever, I’m guaranteed to get an eye roll from my parents, if not an earful about it. Nigel: Yikes. Sorry. Vanessa: Yeah, my pops is not a fan of the dance thing. To say the least. Suffice to say, I get unsupportive parents. [ a beat ] I just wonder if that’s actually what’s going on.

Nigel raises his eyebrows. Skeptical, but also hoping she has something impactful to say. That there’s any way to change the gloom that’s settled over them.

Nigel: I’m listening. Vanessa: Like, don’t take my word for it, since I’m just extrapolating. I wasn’t there, you were, and I don’t really know you like that to get all psychoanalytical on your family. But… I mean, you said just now that you figured they’d have to think about it, even if they were gonna have a good reaction. Nigel: Yeah… Vanessa: Part of you clearly knows that they weren’t going to be all rosy and happy about it right off the bat. You just got lost in the heat of the moment, in the pressure of saying it at all, that you forgot to keep some of your armor on. Because trust me, I know, if you’re not properly suited up, rejection hurts like a motherfucker. It totally blindsides you, makes any other sort of logical thought in the moment impossible.

There’s a reason she’s so guarded, as a general rule. Feels safer that way, albeit lonelier. And that’s not what she’s suggesting Nigel emulate, but looking back, she’s just trying to find where he left room for expectations to fall so short of reality.

Vanessa: Like, if you knew it was gonna take some time, how are things now? What does your mom think now? Nigel: … I don’t know. We haven’t said much to each other about it. [ a beat ] About anything, really, lately.

That’s a feeling Vanessa knows too. She gives him a sympathetic look.

Vanessa: Remember that I don’t know your business, so take this with a grain of salt. But I think it might be worth talking to them about it one more time. They’ve had time, so give them the chance to say their piece now. Nigel: I wouldn’t even know what to say. Vanessa: You don’t have to say anything. This time, they have to speak up. All you have to do is listen, and decide for yourself if you can vibe with it. Wherever they’ve landed. Just go into it with your eyes wide open and armor well fitted this time.

It wouldn’t be worth it with her parents, since they’ve been a lost cause for ages now. But she doesn’t get the sense Nigel’s family is the same way. It’s not going to be comfortable, or maybe end up perfectly tied up with a bow, but better to give it one last shot than accept a fate of fractured trust for the rest of his life.

Speaking of complicated families…

INT. GRACE’S BATHROOM - FLASHBACK - NIGHT

Months have passed, now placing us firmly in Grace’s freshman year of college. Winter break to be exact, so it has already been a full semester of collegiate activity and fun.

Perhaps a little too much fun. Grace is pale and grim as she paces the tiny bathroom in her childhood home, now wrapped in a cozy crewneck from Texas A&M University. But no matter how comfortable it may be, it can’t insulate her from the reality blow she’s about to receive.

She checks her wristwatch, then reluctantly reaches towards the sink and retrieves a small piece of plastic. A pregnancy test.

A pregnancy test that reads positive.

Grace would be sick, if she was capable of feeling anything at all. She’s numb from shock, staring down at the test with a blank expression and absolutely no idea what to do.

Kenneth, pre-lap: What the hell is going on, Grace?

INT. KINSLEY FAMILY FARM - STABLES - FLASHBACK - DAY

It’s the last few days of winter break, and the world outside the wooden shell of the barn is frigid cold, even for Texas. Grace is bundled up in a coat as she cares for the horses that afternoon, using all of her focus to tend to them and have every excuse not to look at her boyfriend.

Kenneth is less bundled up, only sporting a sweatshirt from A&M -- he’s always ran hot. And he’s feeling especially so right now, frustration bubbling up as he tries to get Grace to speak to him. For whatever reason, she’s just started icing him out, and he has no clue why.

A fact that evidently does not please him. It makes him angrier to have her do it right in front of him, for him to be addressing her and her to go on as if he’s not even there.

Kenneth: You’re seriously not going to talk to me? You’re fucking pissed at me, and you won’t even have the decency to tell me why? Grace, quietly: I’m not mad at you. Kenneth: Then what the hell is wrong with you? Grace: Nothing. I’m fine.

Bullshit. But at least she’s finally biting. Kenneth doesn’t let it go, stepping closer.

Kenneth: You haven’t talked to me since Christmas Eve. You won’t take my calls. Seriously, what did I do that’s so terrible? [ with a huff ] And if you’re gonna dump me, is this really how you’re gonna do it? You ain’t even gonna look me in the eyes and tell me to fuck off? Grace: I don’t want to dump you. Kenneth: You know what you do to me, don’t you? You drive me crazy. It makes me crazy, how much I love you. I can’t deal when things are like this -- when you’re a thousand miles away. I want you -- I need you to talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.

Grace wants to. Part of her does, but the rest of her that’s gripped with fear is stronger. So she stays silent, making sure Judy gets her fill of oats.

Once again rebuffed, and not understanding why, Kenneth snaps.

Kenneth: Jesus, Grace! This is ridiculous. [ a beat ] You found someone else. You found another guy, didn’t you? Grace: What? No. That’s -- Kenneth: I saw the way Jake was looking at you at the finals party. I swear, he is always trying to step on my shit. He’s mad he’s not quarterback, and then he sees that I’ve got the most beautiful girl on campus, and he just -- but he succeeded, didn’t he? He got what he wanted. Grace: No, Ken. Kenneth: Then why won’t you talk to me? Why can’t you look me in the eyes and say it to my face? [ impatient ] Grace --

He marches forward and takes her arm, tugging her in his direction to face him. She recoils and slips from his grasp, putting a few paces between them. But he manages to yank the truth out of her anyway.

Kenneth: Why can’t you just -- Grace: I’m pregnant!

The stable goes silent. Kenneth stares at her, dumbstruck; Grace can’t stare at him, dropping her humiliated gaze to the floor.

Kenneth: What? Grace: You wanted to know. That’s it. I’m pregnant.

She can say it all she wants, it won’t make it any easier to process. Kenneth shakes his head lightly, as if that’ll make the bomb un-detonate. When he manages to speak, it’s in a stunned murmur.

Kenneth: Are you serious? Grace: Yes. Kenneth: How long have you known? When did you -- ? Grace: Last week. [ a beat ] My period didn’t come. During Christmas. Kenneth: Fu -- you’re sure? Grace: [ resisting the urge to snap ] Yeah, I’m pretty sure.

Kenneth chokes out an exhale, spinning away from her and pressing his hands behind his head. He screws his eyes shut, fighting the wave of panic washing over him. Grace watches his every move, uncertain…

Then he knots his hands in his hair, letting out a profound cuss.

Kenneth: Holy shit!

Yeah, sounds about right. Grace makes herself smaller, crossing her arms.

Grace: Yeah. I know. Kenneth: Fuck. How the fuck did this happen? We didn’t -- we always use protection -- Grace: I know. I don’t know. Kenneth: What the hell are we going to do? [ turning to face her ] What did you do wrong?

Um, excuse me? Grace scowls, cheeks flushing.

Grace: What did I do? Um, I think you would know. Kenneth: Yeah, but -- but I wear a condom. I used protection. Grace: Well, it didn’t fucking work. Kenneth: Don’t talk to me like that. [ stammering ] You could’ve -- I kept telling you to get on the pill -- Grace: And I told you exactly why I couldn’t. You think my parents would ever let me do that? My dad still pretends to get out the shotgun every time you come over. And I could never do it behind their backs, I’m still on their insurance. Kenneth: There were ways. We could’ve gotten it -- Grace: Not safe ways. I said all this, and told you all this, but you said it was okay. You wanted to do it anyway. Kenneth: Because I love you! Because I wanted to be with my girl! I didn’t think --

No one ever thinks it’s going to happen to them until it does. Yet, here they are, party of two and counting.

For now, at least.

Kenneth: And what, were you just never going to tell me? If I hadn’t marched over here and made you talk, what were you gonna do then? [ rubbing his temples ] God, what are we gonna do now? Grace: Take care of it.

She says it calmly, despite the quiver in her voice. Like she’s already made up her mind. Kenneth locks eyes with her, absorbing that… and realizing what she’s implying.

Kenneth: Are you crazy? You can’t do that. Grace: I already figured out how. There’s a Planned Parenthood in Austin. I’ll go on the drive back to A&M, since it’s on the way. Kenneth: You -- you can’t. You cannot fucking do that. Do you hear what you’re saying? Grace: I don’t have any other choice. Kenneth: Any other choice than murder? How are you going to live with that? And -- fuck, what if people find out? Grace, shaky: They won’t. Kenneth: What if our parents find out? Grace, my parents will fucking murder me if they learn you got an abortion. If you killed -- Grace: Well, what’s the alternative?! Please, enlighten me, Ken. Show me what better choice there is, because I’m one-hundred percent sure you’re not ready to be a father.

Damn right, but that doesn’t help the stress at all. Kenneth presses his palms to his eyes, but the room keeps spinning anyway.

Kenneth: It’s all over. My life is over. This is going to fuck up everything. Grace: Exactly. I don’t want that to happen. That’s why I’m going to take care of it. Kenneth: No. No, Grace, you can’t. You can’t do this to -- to our -- Grace: To our what? You’re not the one who’s going to have to carry it. You realize that, right?

Kenneth passes her as he frantically paces, palms sweaty and feeling light-headed. Grace is tearing up.

Grace: I get that it’s fucked up. I get that I’m going to have to live with it for the rest of my life. But what’s the alternative, Ken? Be serious. I’m nineteen. I don’t want to be a mom -- I don’t want a fucking baby!

And they both know Kenneth doesn’t want one either, despite what Southern societal pressures might be weighing on their shoulders. So she’s going to do something about it, before both of them end up in a situation they know they’ll regret.

Still, the dread of the implications behind her choice is so visceral it’s near paralyzing. It keeps Kenneth fighting back even when he doesn’t know what for, when the other choice he’s indirectly advocating for is also a dead-end.

Kenneth: Grace, don’t do this. Listen to me. You cannot do this -- Grace: Sorry, but I don’t think it’s actually your choice.

In an instant, under enormous stress, something in Kenneth snaps.

Kenneth: Like hell it’s my fucking choice! It’s my baby!

Grace stares at him, bewildered at his outburst. She doesn’t understand why he’s fighting so hard, when she knows logically the alternative will be worse for both of them. What is he holding on so tightly for?

Grace: I’m doing this for both of us. You don’t want this, Ken. Neither do I. Kenneth: You don’t get to tell me what I want or don’t want. And you’re not going to send us both to Hell for your selfish choice. I’m not letting you take me down with you. Grace: What are you even talking about? Do you hear yourself?! Kenneth: You aren’t fucking listening to me. Grace: You can’t really think -- Kenneth: Goddamn it, Grace, would you just fucking LISTEN TO ME?

In a fit of rage, Kenneth reaches out for the first thing he can grab, ripping it off the wall and throwing it as hard as he can. It flies past Grace, causing her to duck away, and crashes against the door of one of the horse stalls, shattering into dozens of pieces.

Once Grace regains her bearings, she looks over at where the object landed, expression riddled with horror.

Her horseshoe. One of her most prized possessions, now shattered into oblivion across the ground.

Kenneth threw it away like it was nothing. Like it held no importance -- or maybe precisely because it did. It’s impossible to tell, especially now that the heat of the moment has passed and he looks as mortified as she does. He meets her eyes.

Kenneth: Grace. I’m sorry.

She can’t look away from him, heart pounding, even as she starts to back away. When he tries to close the distance between them, she scrambles further apart.

Kenneth: Let’s just talk about this --

Then she’s running. Full speed, down the slope of the stables and out into the cold embrace of the farmland in winter. Kenneth curses, stumbling after her.

Kenneth: Grace. GRACE!

He huffs out another “fuck” and kicks at the nearest beam, causing the horses to bray in fear.

EXT. KINSLEY FAMILY FARM - FLASHBACK - DAY

Grace runs as fast as her legs will carry her, not daring to look back. Not even sure what she’s running from after a certain point, but positive from the fear in her bones and the desperation coursing through her veins that she has to get away.

She blinks back any tears that surface, allowing the brisk winter chill to dry them away.

INT. FUNERAL HOME - MONTAGE - DAY

Grace’s eyes remain dry in the present, expression skillfully schooled and delicately somber as the funeral gets underway. A brief montage reflects the passage of the afternoon into evening, Christian rites being done in honor of Kenneth’s extended family.

Interwoven throughout, guests of all sorts give little voluntary speeches at the podium. Gushing about how much they loved Kenneth Friar, what a guiding light and stalwart force he was in their communities. Filled with genuine grief, full of fond reminiscent memories to share.

Grace and Lucas remain quiet. They let everyone else fill the time, listening silently but not willing -- or able -- to step up and share any memories of their own. For now, this absence goes unnoticed.

Lucas continues to look a bit nauseous, particularly every time young men from the Quincy football team praise Kenneth for his paternal wisdom and support. But he gets through it. He remains steady, surviving the bulk of the funeral without incident.

In no small part thanks to Riley, who stays faithful by his side the entire time. He keeps his hand locked with hers, using it as an anchor to ground him to the present.

EXT. NORTH HOLLYWOOD PARK - DAY

Josh’s hands are interlocked with his own, fingers twisting anxiously as he paces the park in his neighborhood. He’s waiting by a bench where he agreed to meet up with Maya, rehearsing what he thinks he’ll need to say in his head to make his case about her artistic direction before convincing himself he’s being an idiot and scrapping it out loud.

He’s saved from his own spiral when Maya arrives, making her way down the sidewalk towards him. He tells himself to pull it together and not at least act like a freak when she’s in front of him, managing to conjure up a somewhat convincing laid-back smile as she approaches.

Maya is about as stable, far from her usual starry sheen. She’s gone to the effort to dress closer to her usual style rather than sweatpants, but it’s still leagues from her standard. The only reason Josh doesn’t notice is because he’s too caught up in his own head.

Josh: Hi. Hey. Maya: Hi. Thanks for agreeing to meet here.

Instead of in Hollywood near Global Beat, which is where Josh initially assumed they’d get together. But Maya very quickly made it clear she did not want to be in that neighborhood. Considering she’s willing to chat with him at all, he was happy to oblige.

Josh: No worries. It’s my scene over here, after all, so. No biggie. Maya: Right.

Right… well. Now that they’re both there… Josh’s mental gymnastics does him no good, because he stumbles into the conversation about as haphazardly as one could.

Josh: So. Your demos. I know I probably overstepped and rubbed my big, egotistical producer hands all over it, so I’m more than open to hearing your clapbacks. If we argue about it and do nothing else, that’s all good. I just wanted to make sure you at least saw my thoughts. [ off her silence ] Just ‘cause -- like I said, they’re good. You’ve really got something beyond just like, “Haute Stuff,” you know? I figured if you saw that I put in the effort, you’d get that they’re worth --

Maya’s silence becomes more understandable the longer he rambles. It was defensive, the last ditch fight to keep it together, because the moment sound does escape her it’s certainly not confident clapping back. 

In an instant, she’s crying. And once she starts, then it’s even worse, because the utter mortification of crying in front of anyone, Josh Matthews especially, is damning enough. She brings a hand up to her face to try to hide it, to cover it any way she can, but it’s no use.

Josh blinks, totally caught off-guard. What the hell did he say? What could he have possibly done if Maya is tearing up? He’s horrible with comforting people as it is, particularly criers, and now he’s gone and made this niece-shaped frenemy turn on the waterworks.

Josh: Shit. Are you -- I’m sorry, whatever I did --

Maya shakes her head. It’s not him. God, based on what he just said, he could not be further from the problem.

Then she’s sobbing, closing the space between them and pulling him into a hug.

Josh has no idea what’s going on. He has no idea what to do, or how a lunch meeting went south so quickly, or how on Earth he ended up with Maya Hart crying into his sweater and holding onto his torso like a life preserver. There is no version of reality where he would’ve predicted this is how things would go.

But what he does know is Maya needs him. If she of all people is broken down this badly, showing her cards so easily, it has to be for good reason. And he knows if Riley were in a situation like that, he’d want her to be in the best, safest company she could find.

So that’s all there is to do. That’s all that matters. Josh opts to put the music aside, rolling with the punches and doing his best to comfort her in spite of the awkwardness. He lightly returns the hug and pats her back.

Josh: Hey. Hey… it’s gonna be okay. You’re good. It’s okay.

He really has no idea. Maya hugs tighter and only cries harder.

The two of them are just another everyday spectacle, lost in the land that made a business out of it.

END OF PART 1.

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[sungbeam]

Sorry I think I actually went into a comatose state once the Holiday teaser ver pics came out

Suffice to say that I will be investing in these albums 🫡

Also lemme just talk abt the fact that we’ll technically get 9 different versions of the same album technically 😀

But the color grading of the holiday version is SOOOOOO nice like damnnn AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN UHHHHH THE GLITTER VER ✨GLITTER GLITTER GLITTER TWIRLS TWIRLS TWIRLS TOGETHER FOREVER ITS LINDA AND HEATHERRR✨ IS SOOOOO PRETTY LIKE TF ESP YOUNGHOON’S HAIR LIKE LORDDDDDD

AND YES SO TRUE IT PROBABLY TAKES ME LIKE AN HOUR TO WRITE A FULL ASK AND IT’S SO UPSETTING TO ME REAHHHHH

The Boys is also way lowkey scary so yeah you’re right 😭 AND YEAH THE ACTOR THAT PLAYED HOMELANDER WAS LIKE… TOO GOOD AT HIS JOB 💀💀 ALSO I saw what you meant about marvel invasion cause ummm what is up with that reader insert plot armour type beat character 💀💀💀 like I saw her scene on twt and not only does it look bad but I was like HUH??? Characters that are so OP are fkn ejdwjjrkekf TOO MUCH LMAO

And I am once again sooo excited for Rhapsody Anonymous even though I saw you were struggling a bit writing it but I think it’ll really pay off 🥹🫶

I’m so glad that you did take some time off for yourself to ground yourself when you felt overwhelmed and I’m really glad that it helped you as well!! Take care of yourself above all else! 🥺💖

Also! Random Q&A time!

1. What’s your fav type of bread

2. What’s the cringiest thing you’ve ever put up on social media (optional answer 💀)

3. Have you ever been in love 🫣

4. WHO WAS YOUR FIRST CARTOON CHARACTER CRUSH YOU CAN’T LIE TO ME IK YOU HAD ONE (REQUIRED, MUST ANSWER, NOT OPTIONAL 😤☝️)

I got like 2/4 of these from teen vogue so don’t @ me ok 😔💔

- So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you. (Paulo Coehlo)

Love always, 🌷 anon

NO CUZ SAME???!(!(!) like I literally was supposed to wrote the day the present concept came out and i couldn't think abt anything else for the rest of the day :l BRO THATS WHAT IM SAYING ?? ist making MONEY MOVES this comeback 😭😭😭 pulling out all the stops to suck the money from our wallets ksnfkemdk I'll need to drop out of college if I were to get even one per concept 😭😭😭

HELP NO CUZ THE COLORS FROM THE PRESENT VER ARE SOOOOOO VIBRANT AND BEAUTIFUL???? THEY WERE SO SO PRETTY. and omg CHOI CHANHEE WAS MADE FOR THE GLITTER VERSION 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️ someone said *im spinnin like a ballerinaaaa* LMAO have u seen the clips from the zeneration behind lol chanhee and kevin on the POLES !!! so iconic tbh i think it was for savior?? not too sure

ur so right anthony starr (?)/homelander plays his role FAR TOO WELL O_O he freaks me tf OUT w that smile omg sknfkendk all his scenes put a shiver down my spine and i haven't even properly watched the series 😭

bro secret invasion threw me for a mfkn loop 😭 idk if you've watched the whole thing but KEVIN FEIGE WE NEED TO TALK ABT UR CHOICES FOR MISS MARIA HILL WE NEED TO TALK S I R. i actually really like the title sequence for it tho i thought it was so masterfully done like for some reason i really liked it in particular 😭💀

ahhhh thanks !!! 🤧🤧 hopefully u like what I've done for it LMFAOOOO it's been a struggle up in here, but it's prob gonna come out to be longer than the estimated word count 🤣🤣 i am not doing very good at keeping it under 20k

omg random q+a 😃

brioche !!! tho i think i have more opinions abt cheese than bread 😭 wheat works too LMAO

uhhhhh 💀 the things i posted way back when r more embarrassing/"u idiot"/"u bitch" type things, but ig i can say all of the over filtered pics 😭😭 i cry every time i think of that try hard bathing suit post i did once it was awful

uhhhh if being in love counts as being in love w white rice then yes 🤩🤩 idk dude lol i don't think i've met anyone yet whom i have really felt so strong an emotion for as sad as it sounds, but i am patient

HELP ME KDFKLEMDK CUZ .... Apparently when i was 1 or 2, i had a SICKENING crush on jimmy neutron 🧍🏻‍♀️ but after that it was probably zayn from lego ninjago, i don't make the rules LMAO i am a nerd-lover through and through !!!

NOW UR TURN GO !!! 😼😼 LMAO no worries i think it was cute and fun !!

— "'If you are intolerable, let me be the one to tolerate you.'" - T. J. Reid 💖

[hisfearlesshaz]

hii!! i’m the american anon that wants to move to italy! thank you so much for your input! i saw that you’ve also lived in the Netherlands and that’s a place i’ve also been recently considering as well!! could you tell me a bit about what it’s like to live there? i’ve heard that there’s a bit of a housing shortage as well in Amsterdam recently! do you think it’s difficult to get a job there if you aren’t from there? i also love how people seem to bike everywhere!! i’ve been studying italian for a few weeks because it’s definitely still one of my top choices. my plan is to move to the uk, then eventually make my way over to italy or the netherlands. i feel like that would be a little bit easier for me. did you like living in italy or the netherlands better? i think there will always be cons about every country you go to, but i think i would take the cons of italy, the netherlands, and the uk over the cons of the united states any day lol. thank you!!!! ❤️

Hi!! Glad to help hahah :)))

So! I actually lived in Belgium, not the Netherlands, but I LOVED it. Best six months of my life and I’m not even joking hahaha. I’ve been to the Netherlands and it’s basically the same except for the size because Belgium is reeeeally small. About the size of Maryland but with double the population. The train sister is quite good so you can reach every “big” city in 1h (there are like 3 big cities, so it’s not that hard really hahaha). I lived in Ghent which is in Flanders so they speak Flemish and Dutch (they’re kinda similar but don’t tell anyone I said that) and some also speak French. The weird thing about Belgium is that they have three official languages (French, Dutch, German) depending on the region but as I said to Gina it doesn’t really matter as everyone speaks English. Can’t have a damn private conversation in public ever even though you’re in a foreign country 😂

Belgium is like the less cool sister of the Netherlands but I think it’s very underrated!!!!! They’re very open and welcoming and progressive. Everyone bikes there as well 😂 you have to pay attention because bikes RULE and if you’re on foot you have to stop to let them through (which is absurd to me, being Italian, bc here you see a few bikes and THEY stop lol). Anyway the housing “crisis” is common in both countries, I think. Maybe a bit better in Belgium? Not sure though, sorry 🤷

As for job opportunities, I think it’s easier than in other places (now I’m talking about both countries). They’re very international, and obv it depends on what kind of job you’re looking for an show qualified you are but overall I think there’s a good job offer (my professor once told me that the province I was in had an employment rate of 80% in people aged 20-60). Again, idk anything specific about the Netherlands but I know more than one person that moved there and found a job quite easily compared to Italy.

Now! Moving on to Italy ;))

I can’t say I want to keep living here, honestly. The south is left behind, work is hard to find unless you’re somewhat specialised, the cost of living is levitating and the government sucks. However, we have a history of unstable governments so who knows how long it will last hahah

There are some new awful waves of homo/transphobia and hate crimes + being an ex fascist country that never truly went away completely. However it’s full of people that fucking hate fascists and nazis and manifest their disapproval regarding right wing parties (that are currently governing) and policies. I have to admit that I’m not that much into politics because I’m tiiiiiired of it being always the same shit if not worse and I think this is a widespread feeling (less and less people care and vote so this obviously makes everything get worse 💀).

The transportation is good only in big cities and between them, really. I lived 50km away from uni and it took me TWO HOURS with at least two different means of transportation. Now that I live in the city, though, I can go wherever I want very easily even though I’m in the outskirts. Milan (which is where I live and study haha) is beautiful, but very busy and definitely not the most beautiful city in the country. I like living here though, you have everything you need and more + the cultural scene is quite active and there are always events of any kind. I have to say it’s a bit more clean than, for example, Rome. It’s called the economical capital of Italy so as you can imagine finding a job here is easier than in other places. Many people from the south actually migrate up north to have better job opportunities (which means that the south keeps lagging behind etc etc and it SUCKS because the south is sooo beautiful and the living conditions could be so much better if we had a good government that knew how to handle stuff to use the resources we have ☹️).

So, Milan is good for work and stuff but people are definì less welcoming than the rest of Italy. Everyone is always busy lol. However (it’s fucking sad to say but it’s true) I’m pretty sure that since you’re American and not from somewhere in Africa, South America or Asia.. people would treat better. There’s still this kind of myth about the American dream, you know? I think it’s the remains of our ancestors migrating to America to have better life opportunities (only to be treated as garbage like they threat immigrants here 💀 sometimes I can’t believe how fucking stupid and plainly ignorant some people can be).

I think I also have to mention that Italian bureaucracy is fucking awful. Like. For real. The worst thing ever. It takes ages for the smallest, stupidest things, you still need to do a lot of stuff in person and not online and in general it doesn’t work really well. I have no idea how it works in the rest of the world but I know that it’s been like 9 months since a relative of mine passed away and we’re still waiting for the succession to be done. To make another example: to have the passport you have to take an appointment and the first free slots are usually after at least three months. Then you need to go to that specific place which must be in your province of residence and it takes like 10 mins to sign the docs and let them take them your fingerprints and THEN you wait like two more weeks for it to be ready to be picked up. I swear it’s so!!!!! Frustrating!!!!!!

Now that I read back what I wrote I realised that it doesn’t sound really positive 😂🥲 maybe it’s bc as I said I want to move so I tend to take into consideration all those things that make me wanna go abroad.. Anyway in conclusion I kinda agree with the other anon that messaged Gina. It’s a beautiful place but more like for holidays than for living. In my opinion.

I think that going to the UK is obviously a good choice, but I’m not sure it’s gonna be that easy to go live in the continent afterwards, after the brexit mess and all that. It’s fucked up, really. It was sooo easy before that :((

I think the best option (but, like, I’m no one to tell you what’s best, obviously jdjdjs) is would be to go the the Netherlands or Belgium and from there moving wherever you want. I think it would be way easier since they’re parte of the UE etc. + as I said like ten times they’re very very nice places to live in :))

This has gotten very very long and I’m sorry haha 😅 can you tell I have something to do that I really don’t want to do? Anyway if you have more questions or other stuff you’re curious about feel free to ask!!!

[hollandorks]

SHELBYYY HAHAHA

yes! camp ended july and a lot happened between me getting covid and the end of camp, but those are many stories for another time! it was exhausting but i miss it in my bones, my body absolutely misses it too and it’s coming out in poor sleep and worsening periods and i just can’t wait to get back out there again</3

and yes, this is my last year!! i graduate in the spring, and i have to start applying for jobs with usfs next month for a position in spring/summer which is CRAZY to think about how close i am to being a full-fledged adult and i hate it LMAO it’s such a weird feeling and kind of (extremely) daunting

and 3 beach vacations??? DESERVED! different beaches or same, and with the same person/people or different? and YAY for less work but same pay!! what do you do again? i remember something about a medical office of some point and working with your mom….?

anyway. still haven’t caught up on motn2 (cannot remember the title for the life of me rn LMAO my brain is fried) and it’ll happen sometime SOON but i’m just not prepared for it to take over my life again HAHAHAH but i miss talking to you and screaming to (at) you and i want to talk to you more and more because i MISSSSS YOU

hope you’re doing well now! love u dearly and i’m hoping your day has been going well❤️❤️❤️

Aw I love that you miss it so much 🥺 glad you had a good time!!! Feel free to randomly drop by with camp stories whenever, I love them! Also sorry that your body misses it and has decided to punish you 😂 that sucks

Wow your last year!! That's exciting!! I totally get it though, I graduated 4 ish years ago and it's still daunting tbh like am I really an adult?? Are we sure???

Yeah 3 beach vacations!! The first was my first trip with my husband's entire family (his parents, his siblings, their spouses, and our niece) to Florida--even though we've been together for almost 12 years we've never vacationed with whole family. The second trip was 3 weeks after that with my mom's whole side of the family (20+ people) for a family reunion! We went to the beach we always go to (it's in South Carolina 3 ish hours from where I live). The next beach trip was two weeks after that, our annual trip with my mom, aunt, and grandparents--we booked that one before the family reunion was planned & we couldn't get a refund so we went anyways!

I work at an allergy doctor's office with my mom yep! I do administrative work. So I for one thing run our social media etc (very easy), I'm in charge of specialty medications (scheduling patients and filing with insurance), and I work at our front desk/ reception on Saturday mornings now! And fill in as necessary.

By the time you get to the sequel maybe I'll be done and you can binge!! I look forward to hearing your thoughts whenever you do read it 👀

Hope you're doing well too and not too stressed by school etc!! ❤️ I'm great other than my looming wisdom teeth surgery but whatever, life is good otherwise 😂