#i’m gonna be honest idk what the original source is but i saw it on tiktok

[incorrectbensler]

Olivia: What are you doing? You could have been killed. You can’t just follow me into fire!

Elliot: You don’t want me to follow you into fire, then don’t run into fire!

[thruces]

endgame spoilers

i know i said i wasn’t gonna do this but ???

i have so many thoughts and feelings and i want somewhere to get them out so let’s dive right in shall we? (spoilers under the cut!) 

i firstly want to point out that most of this won’t be chronological since my thoughts are everywhere.

to say i have some thoughts is definitely understating it. there was a lot to take in throughout the movie but i feel as though i went in with high expectations and came out with something less than what was promised by the countless fan reactions and reviews. i wasn’t expecting what i got but there was a lot of good despite the bad. it’s also worth noting i ended up fainting out of stress and partial dehydration (from crying for nearly six hours straight) which is further proof that i’m an emotional wreck as well as a fool.

first off, tony’s death. – there was no real reason for him to die. he finally had the life he wanted and had to sacrifice that for the rest of the world. he never needed to redeem himself, he didn’t have to die to make up for anything but they still made him. he should’ve had steve’s ending. somehow steve rogers, the super solider who stated on a number of occasions that he didn’t want the domestic life, got it. tony stark, the man who wanted to step away from the battlefield and have a family was the one who died fighting. it hurt so much to watch a man who survived everything thrown at him, who lived through trauma, ptsd, anxiety attacks and tremendous loss only to finally get the life he deserved and have it all taken from him. what hurts even more is that strange knew what had to happen, it must’ve been so awful knowing what had to be done. the sadness in his eyes as he put his finger up was devastating. tony stark will always be my hero and i’m going to miss him so, so much.

expanding a little more on steve’s ending – it felt wrong. most of steve’s arc was centred around bucky and yet he chose to leave him. it was like the past two captain america movies became irrelevant and all that mattered was getting rid of steve in the simplest way. peggy had a whole life without him and he knew that but chose to go back and stay regardless? idk that just didn’t sit right with me.

onto thor – they did him so, so dirty. thor lost everything and suffered so much and they still just tried to play him off as comedic relief for most of the movie (although the fortnite scene was kinda funny) . the scene with banner in his house hurt me so much. to see the way he cared for him, the softness in his voice. he understood his trauma and was patient. the way he put his hand on his shoulder and wanted to be there for him was one of the best scenes in the film. he didn’t judge him harshly for letting himself go because he understood what it was like to go through trauma and loss in the way he had. it was genuinely one of the best scenes. thank u russos for the good thruce content.

in terms of the rest of the ragnarok crew – i was so happy to see korg again! my eyes lit up as soon as i saw him in his cute hawaiian shirt!  taika waititi is the source of my happiness and he should direct every mcu movie. i’m so happy val made an appearance too and becoming queen is exactly what she deserved, although i did kinda miss her deadpan attitude. overall the ragnarok gang was the biggest let down for me in terms of characterisation. the russos will never be able to do them justice. they used thor as comedic relief despite his trauma, banner’s arc was one of the worst ones in the movie (my love for him remains untouched though) and the other characters were pushed aside (although it’s completely understandable as the focus on this movie was the original avengers). additionally the hulk dab scene filled me with rage for reasons i can’t explain,, i just,, hated it so much,, more than anything else in the entire movie. 100 percent the worst line in the entire mcu,, ever,,

next up is nat’s death – in my op this was the best death in the film and although i love nat her death made the most sense. the way she was gentle and calm when she told clint to let go broke me and i felt so bad for him, go me it was definitely one of the most powerful scenes.

time to expand on banner’s arc bc it’s one of the biggest things i disliked. why the fuck did they think just getting rid of the hulk was the best thing to do? they’ve been developing the banner/hulk arc for years then deadass just got rid of him? it’s so sad bc the hulk developed a lot over the last three movies and now it’s just over? it’s esp sad when you think about the fact that a. the hulk was his own being and b. that this was barely addressed at all? the entire characterisation of banner during the movie was absolutely wack and i’m so mad they did him dirty. the two best banner scenes were the gauntlet scene and the thor scene and everything else was just,, bad. can they please just bring back cute tiny bruce who’s dorky and into science bc that’s the one i fell in love w/, not this weird hulk/bruce hybrid that marvel pulled outta their asses (that’s my hot take and you’re fine to disagree but i hate it sm)

i also wanna talk about thor and frigga real quick bc honestly? my heart never felt true pain until then. she was so calm and the entire scene broke my heart into pieces. ik thor got some closure but it still felt so awful to see him so heartbroken.

if i'm being honest i’m not really feeling the asguardians thing. dgmw i love them as separate units but to me it takes away the entire team dynamic of the guardians and i really hope it’s not a permanent thing. i also hope they get gamora back because it’s what peter deserves.

time to talk about the best part of the film – scott. my boy absolutely killed it. his character arc over the course of the movie was the best one. the balance between comedy and plot was perfect and the scene where he saw cassie grown up made me sob. i can’t fully express how much i love him as a character but i promise it’s a lot.

there’s a lot of stuff i missed out but these were my main thoughts after seeing the movie, hopefully i’ll pick up on more when i see it again on monday! if you wanna talk about any of these PLEASE message me because i’m really interested to hear other ppls opinions!

[unluckyxse7en-moving]

Can I ask a question? I have been wondering stuff about myself and in the panel where it says "before 'me' disappeared." it stuck out to me. I've never had a good grip on who I am and figured I had to build it. Idk hat that is. Nor do I expect you to answer that. My question is, could you explain it more?

Yes, absolutely, you’re totally welcome to ask! and idk how well I can explain it but I’ll do my best based on my current personal understanding and experience! obligatory disclaimer, many systems have unique experiences and it’s not always consistent or cut and dry from system to system, but if something about this does hit home I encourage you to look into researching it more as you feel comfortable! Also a heads up, I’m going to probably overexplain terms and concepts since I’m not sure what you do know, plus if someone else reading this isn’t familiar I figure that may help them too, so bear with me! ^^ (this got incredibly long and incredibly personal, I hope that’s ok! We’ve found hearing about personal experiences from others always helped give us a way to compare our experience better in ways that medical definitions don’t help with, so we got detailed in hopes it’ll be helpful to someone. heads up, there’s some references to feelings of unreality.)

Gonna try to put this under a cut since it got so long, let’s hope tumblr cooperates!

So admittedly, I was intrigued when you sent this line in, because while I’ve reread this comic a couple times before posting it, I didn’t remember writing a line exactly like that. As it turns out, the writing was meant to say “when ‘He’ disappeared” but it’s really oddly unclear whether it’s an H or an M at first glance compared to the rest of the script? If I’m honest I actually prefer your interpretation better, especially because the ambiguity lends more to the comic’s meaning in retrospect. I’m not gonna say something like ‘oh one of my alters must’ve done that on purpose’ because back then our handwriting was just an inconsistent mess in general and the most involvement we could probably credit to the alters was just one person tried to write that H in their handwriting when someone else was supposed to be writing it. But I thought that was an interesting case of serendipity so I couldn’t help pointing it out lmao 

 That said, I think your reading actually makes just as much sense in the context of the comic, and is a phenomenon I think I can readily explain that I have had a little experience with. Currently, my system setup is a little bit like an archeological dig. The alters that have surfaced the most, who have been the ones in charge of actions/words/emotional responses/etc, aka ‘fronted’, are all the ones who have formed in more recent years. The ones from years past are further back, and harder to access because we’ve developed a protective setup where the newer alters act as barricades to keep the older ones from being more exposed to trauma, or anything else they can’t handle. At its core, that’s what the function of a system is - to develop other alters who can handle situations more vulnerable parts can’t - but not all systems are built with an onion-layer setup like mine either, so just keep that in mind.

That said, since I’m built with an onion-layer setup, that means most of my system experience is based upon those older alters being shielded and walled up. When you add enough layers, we can’t dig them out again and for us that’s where most of our ‘disappearance’ comes in that we know of.  There’s another phenomenon that could cause the ‘disappearance’ effect but we’ll touch on that in a moment. In our case, we just eventually feel so distanced from who “I” was supposed to be, whoever that is. Very few of the ones who have been out in recent months are from older times. We’ve had a small handful who are from our high school years (we’re 25 now), and maybe caught a glimpse of alters older than that once or twice. We very rarely remember much of the time from that far back, and what we do remember feels incredibly detached. Almost more like we saw it in a first person pov movie rather than actually been there. We’ve gone through name changes a couple times by now, and I highly suspect that those name changes are further reflective of our archeological layers and who we decided to try to model our collective behavior around, to try to seem like one whole person. 

“Erika” was a girl who behaved one way. “Erin” was someone who behaved another way. and “Cleo” has been our current blueprint for who we’re supposed to be on the outside when being incognito. And what’s interesting is that you mentioned feeling like you had to ‘build’ yourself, because while it’s not so precise or in our control, we’ve approached it much the same way. For each name change it was like different models. out with the old model and in with the new, now introducing Cleo v2.0, with these personality patches and old bugs fixed. Around the time we changed to Erin, we had firmly decided we wanted to put our ‘old self’ behind us and improve ourselves. We had come out of toxic experiences eyes open, and we were terrified of reflecting that internalized toxicity outward. So we took ourselves to the metaphorical workshop, and spent many many years scrutinizing who ‘Erika’ was under a microscope for our faults, our flaws, what made us work that way, so that we could iron out the kinks when introducing ‘Erin’. As we took ‘Erin’ for test runs in college, we would find different flaws and faults that needed fixing, so once we’d accumulated a comprehensive list of those we took Erin in for workshopping and shortly after we dropped out of college, out came Cleo. Our entire life experience from the outside has been a long-running fixer-upper project, and for a while we were proud of ourselves to see the long strides in improvements we’d made upon “myself”, for being so quick to see our flaws and find ways to manage them. 

But what was really happening under the hood was, we weren’t actually changing as an individual, cohesive person.  We were adapting and forming new alters, or at the very least reassigning them based on who handled what better - so if we had become sick of our short temper, we swapped that alter out so that what normally caused them to respond, would instead elicit someone less volatile and slower to anger. If one of us froze up at the sight of blood, they would be swapped out of the front for someone who had no problems with it. This is why we ended up onion-layering ultimately, to lower the risk of the other alters being in front at poorly timed moments.

So tl;dr for us, a lot of our ‘Disappearance’ of our selves was us trading them out or hiding them away, and most likely encouraging a state of alter dormancy - when alters become inactive for long periods of time. (for some of us we describe it like sleeping - I think it tires us out on a physical level if one alter is active too long, it probably works certain parts of the brain more depending on the alter, but that’s all speculation.)

Backtracking a little - there is another experience that would cause a more definite and permanent ‘Disappearance’ effect. We haven’t experienced it since coming out as a system to ourselves. But we’re pretty sure we experienced it once, or twice, way back when. It’s formally known as Fusion. Fusion is what happens when two or more alters end up “physically” (for lack of a better word) merging together. They cannot separate, and they become an entirely different alter. The new alter often has some elements of their components in terms of personality traits and memories, but also isn’t a complete merging of everything. Memories and emotional attachments can often get lost in the process. This is where the other Disappearance can occur.

We know it happened to us at least once. Somewhere around middle or high school, for no apparent reason, we had developed an acute awareness and fear of Amnesia, and the identity death that would inevitably come with it. We were always scared, what if we hit our head and lost our memory? What would we remember, if anything? Would we get it back? Media always dramatizes amnesia, where amnesiac characters have some twinge, some spark, where they get drawn to things super important to them from before the memory loss. Would that happen to us? What if it didn’t? What if we never remembered the things that mattered so dearly to us? Would we even be the same person anymore?

If you compare that to the concept of fusion, it’s almost uncomfortably spot on. But we had no idea about systems or fusion back then. Which can only mean we had experienced a fusion, and somehow that caused a disturbance in the system that led to that latent fear to hang over our heads, along with the constant feelings of unreality and dreaming that followed us all through high school.

But somewhere along the line, just as suddenly as that fear developed, it just. Dissipated. It’s still a terrifying concept for us. But we no longer obsess over it like we did back then. We also suspect that’s probably related to another fusion of sorts. We have no clue who they were, or who they are now though. 

So to tie it all back in, in the comic the ‘Me/He’ disappearing would be parallel to an alter going dormant, or possibly fusing. The characters the protagonist and Tormenter are built around were originally part of a storyline of two separate identities that ended up ‘fusing’ to form a different whole, and while I can’t say the comic is faithful to the scientific or actual experience in a system, since I didn’t know about it at the time, I’m pretty sure it was based on what I had picked up on in my subconscious, so that’s the implications there, inaccurate representation though they may be.  I have heard from a few sources that fusion is often the result of a necessary function, to help protect or help an alter that can no longer function or cope the way they have been by creating a new alter that can cope better, so with this understanding, and the direction of the comic, it makes a sort of sense. 

These are my thoughts in regards to your question about ‘disappearance’ in the context of the comic based on my personal experiences, I hope it helped! Feel free to ask more or send in followup questions or statements, hopefully now that I’ve given a lot of context I won’t be quite so long-winded haha

[space-kitten-606]

Hello most amazing admin in the world! Can we have a Saeyoung with an mc who can create stars? Like maybe she's a demigod or a fairy or something, but just tries to hide it

asgfjhsalkjflk No way in hell I deserve that title, especially after making you wait for so long! I’m honestly super sorry. Tbh honest I think no one in this fandom is as slow with answering request as I am >.

Okay, so story time:

when I first saw this request, I knew that no way in hell this was just gonna be some HCs. Like?? Idk if that just came to your mind randomly or if you’ve had this idea for a while, but it is genious and I’m so flattered you send it to me of all people because AAAHHHHHH!! It’s perfect. So I was thinking about it. And thinking. And I typed something out, just to delete it again and to try something else. I had so many ideas coming and going but nothing really stuck with me. And then. Finally. Something came to me. 

So uhh….as per usual, I took a lot of freedom with this and everything is probably a little different than you’ve originally imagined it, but I hope you enjoy the endproduct anyway!!! I can just say I had lots of fun writing it! 

A universe of our own

The night put the world into a silent slumber, leaving the outside along with the inside of the bunker in complete darkness. There was no sound, no movement, as a bright flash lit up the open living room, suddenly bringing a myriad of colours into existence. Talented fingers moving through the floating source, moving shimmering particles around. The movements were precise, each one learned over years of trying and failing, of creating and destroying. One wrong movement, and all that work and time would’ve been for nothing. A round stone looking object floated through the shimmering substance. You gently pushed it in the right direction. Slowly, it was on its way, crashing into a similar object. It might look destructive at first glance, but was a necessity for moving things forward. You smiled at the spectacle unfolding in front of your eyes. It took you a while, and you were so close to giving up, but things finally began to take shape. Literally.

“Mc?”, a sleepy voice pulled you away from your happy thoughts. Frantically, you tried to make the shining particles disappear, but it was to no avail. Your fiancee was already stumbling to your side, his eyes filled with wonder.

“How do you do that?!”, Saeyoung whispered, only barely able to contain his excitement. “It looks like a tiny galaxy! Can you teach me??”

You didn’t say anything for a moment, trying to think of something you could say without making it sound too weird. It was not like you could give him a logical explanation that would make sense with the knowledge he already had.

“…what happens if I do this?”, he wondered out loud, immediately after swishing his hand right through the middle. Despite knowing that it wouldn’t do anything you couldn’t help but let out a small yelp. The space enthusiast didn’t pay any attention to it though, voicing his disappointment about not sharing your abilities instead. After looking at it for a few seconds he tried again, but, just like before, nothing happened. Pouting, he let out a quiet huff.

Still not having made up your mind how to explain it to him you mumbled: “Just go back to bed. I’ll tell you what this is about tomorrow, okay?”

A soft smile graced your lips, as you placed a tender kiss on his red locks.

“Oh no, missy. I’ve noticed you wiggling out of my embrace in the middle of the night since you first moved in! Do you really think I’m gonna let you go this easily?”, he laughed. Due to his excitement, his voice kept getting louder while he was talking. The longer he was talking the more you got scared he might wake up Saeran in the process. In an attempt to remind him to keep it down you moved your hand in a silencing motion, accidentally triggering a meteor shower in the little galaxy still floating in front of you.

Trying to get a better look on what’s happening now, Saeyoung moved to sit in front of you, his hands resting on your knees.

He looked like a child looking at an incredibly colourful decorated shop window, the stars and shiny particles reflecting in his golden eyes. You’d love to watch him mesmerized by the play of colours and shapes floating in an endless rhythm forever, but at the same time you were scared of what would happen next. It reminded you of yourself as a child under your blanket at night, having conjured a place in the vast universe for the very first time. You knew you couldn’t leave him without an answer for much longer. And by now, it was also way too late to play it off as a silly dream.

You let out a sigh. You didn’t have anything to lose anymore, right? Focusing your mind on what you wanted to do, you slowly moved your hand around, tilting the tiny speck of space a little. There, some colourful nebulas came into sight. Saeyoung gasped lightly, as he carefully tried to touch them again. You giggled softly, and touched them at the exact point he had pointed at earlier, changing the shape with no effort.

“Is this…is this real?”, he asked, his gaze trying to catch yours. His voice was a lot quieter now, the first excitement finally ebbing away and making space for genuine curiosity.

You nodded in response but didn’t dare to look at him. Out of your peripheral vision you could see him tilt his head, as he tried to get a better look at your face.

“This is amazing, Mc. It’s like…like your own little galaxy. Did you make this?”

“Yes. I- This is mine. And it’s real. Like…it’s somewhere in the universe.” You could feel your heart racing in your chest. A strange sense of fear got a hold on you, though you couldn’t figure out what exactly made you worry.

“The same we’re in?”

You shrugged at that. “I’m not sure. It’s far away from what humans have discovered yet, though. That’s all I know.”

“So there are other universes?”, he questioned. “Are they like ours? Is there…life?”

“There are other universes, yes, but I don’t know if there’s any life there. It’s possible, very much so, but I can only speak for what I managed to do so far and, to be frank, it’s nothing but wasteland yet.”

Saeyoung nodded, lost in thought. He prompted you to tilt the view between your palms into several directions, looking at it from every angle.

“Can you speed up the developments? Or do they have to happen naturally?”, he mumbled, more to himself but you, but you answered anyway.

“Only a little. I can make different sources collide. I can change their placement. But I have to be very careful. If I move them too quickly, I may destroy them.”

Again, he nodded. While he kept looking at your work, you told him how you first figured out you were able to do this. How, for most of your childhood you thought you had but a very colourful fantasy and how you parents thought that was all there was to it. You didn’t have a real explanation to what this was, or how you did this. It was just a part of you.

“If I had known how right I was when I called you a goddess.”, he laughed, looking at you with endless pride. “You know, even if you don’t know much about it, I’d love to explore this with you. Only if you let me, of course.”

You felt a weight fall off your shoulders you didn’t know was there. How could you even think for a second that he’d react any different. Unaware of doing so, you let out a relieved giggle. Maybe with his help, you’d be able to do more than just a little pushing around. With your abilities and his knowledge there was no way this wouldn’t work. You didn’t know what was your goal yet, but you’d figure that out soon enough.

Carefully not to trigger something, you reached out to his face and looked into his golden eyes. Their warmth made your heart swell and excitement for what’s to come was filling you from the inside.

“Let’s make this a universe of our own.”

[maisietheyellowlab]

My Dog Breed Selection Process

Yesterday I got this message from an anon:

“I saw your getting a Koolie!! Nice!! They're such pretty dogs. And actually if you don't mind I have a question for you? Feel free to not answer. But you have a lab and are getting a koolie, two different breeds obviously, so do you have any tips for someone trying to find a breed? It'll be my first purebred dog and going to the shelter is hard enough because all the dogs are so cute so how do you narrow down the list for the perfect dog? Idk if you had a list - but how'd you decide on a koolie?”

and I quickly realized this was gonna be a long post, so here it is. This whole thing:

This is the general procedure that brought me to my breed choices:

First come up with a list of “must haves” “nice to haves” and “must not haves” for the type of dog you want (size, coat type, shedding, energy level, trainability,..) (as @katieisstilltumbling / @winedogs already pointed out in the original ask).

Be very honest with yourself and consider that while the dog has to be a good fit for you, you have to be a good fit for the dog as well!

Then go through a list of dog breeds and/or take a few “what’s the right breed for you” type quizzes OR if you really like a dog sport check out the breeds that usually do well in that sport (e.g. mushing: Huskies, Alaskan Malamutes,..)

→ see which of those you like and check their breed descriptions

→ check blogs, forums, videos, fb groups of owners and breeders of that breed, see if you still like what you see

→ if there are any events where you might be able to meet the breed irl (dog shows, trials, breed meet ups…) go there and talk to owners! (this step is not always possible but it’s very helpful if you can do it!)

→ check if the dogs of that breed fit your “must haves” and “must not haves”

→ look up breeders

→ contact a breeder, ask about the breed, their dogs, what kind of owner they like for their dogs, ask if you can meet them and their dogs

→ when you meet irl, see if you like the breeder and their dogs

→ if you’re now sure you want a dog of that breed, tell the breeder you’re interested in getting a puppy from their upcoming litter

→ be patient and respectful

→ get puppy

→ done!

So, here’s an example of my personal breed-selection journey:

Dog breed selection process 1 - Labrador Retriever:

The first step at all was trying to think of the dog breeds I'm generally drawn to/think they're cute and looking them up, checking out youtube videos where owners talk in depth about the breed and being real honest with myself if the breed would fit into my lifestyle. For example, I always liked Cocker Spaniels, Golden Retrievers, Border Collies, Labs and Dalmatians.

Second step was going thru breed lists online and checking them out, trying to see if there's more breeds I like, but maybe haven't seen or heard of before.

Third thing I did, was take some Dog Breed Selector quizzes online, to see if I'd like any of the dogs that would come up as recommended to me. Ofc this is not to be take too seriously, bc you can be a perfect home for a border collie, but the quiz results won't match you to Border Collies, just because you didn't tick the box that said »I have an enormous yard.«

So at that point I had somewhat of an idea what I would want in a dog, and I had a list of traits in my mind that I applied to my top ~10 breeds.

It was something like this:

Must haves:

Medium size

Tolerates cold&hot weather

Easy coat maintenance

Easy to train --> biddable or will to please

Medium/high energy

Suitable for hikes&canine sports

Playful

Good around older children

Good for first time owners

Not very sensitive

Okay with being left alone for a few hours regularly/not prone to separation anxiety

Good with people and dogs

Average lifespan longer than 10 years/as long as possible

Breeder in my country

Cute!

Nice to haves:

Doesn’t shed a lot

More of a quiet type of dog

Litter in the next 6 months

Likes water

Longer than average lifespan

Must not haves:

Guards people/property

Very large or very small

Prone to health issues

Very independent

Very sensitive

High maintenance coat

Prone to DA or HA

Pure working line

Ideas: Australian Shepherd, Toller, Border Collie, Golden Retriever, Labrador Retriever, Brittany

I started looking for breeders of those breeds in my area and looked through all the websites I could find. I looked at their dogs, their breeding practices, the offspring and of course, litter plans.

At that point I felt like a balanced Aussie might be the way to go, so I contacted and met up with a breeder. Turns out we didn't really click and the way that she described the breed and her personal requirements for her puppies' owners left me feeling very overwhelmed, so I decided agains getting a dog of hers. I looked at some other breeders websites, but the more I researched the more I also started realizing that an Aussie might not the the best choice for me any the household I was living in at that time.

So here I learned a very important lesson. Not only do you have to find a suitable dog, you also have to find a suitable breeder. A responsible breeder will stay in contact with you for the res tof the dog's life, try to point you in the right direction, will be a source of help regarding the dog's development, health and training, so you need like them and they need to like you back. So I added another bullet point to my puppy search list:

a breeder that is helpful, friendly, nice to be around

Dog breed 1, try 1: Aussie →  not a good fit.

I eventually narrowed my selection down to Goldens and Labs, because they were generally easier for first time owners than the rest of the breeds, less prone to sensitivity and there were announced litters in the next few months.

In the end I went for a Lab, because they seemed a little more sturdy and had slightly less health issues, as far as my research showed. Then I contacted two breeders, I think, and I went with the one that felt more right. Oh and also, I thought the parents of the litter looked better, bc that's honestly a big factor too. You're gonna live with this dog for 10+ years, why not choose the one that fits your criteria as much as possible.

So that was it, this is how I chose Maisie's breeder. She's great, helped me a LOT during the first few months when I needed it most, and we're still in touch, I visit her every year. It feels like she's my aunt or smth, she's really nice.

Dog breed 1, try 2: Lab → WIN :D

Dog breed selection process 2 - Australian Koolie:

The second time around I approached the breed selection a little differently, since I had already met more breeds of dogs irl by then and also had an idea of what I’d like in a second dog from experience with Maisie. A part of my decision to go for a herding dog came from what I want to do with them - I want to try more canine sports that include jumping, so a dog with a lighter build and more will to please. That kind of dog will enjoy those activities more and be able to do them more safely than Maisie.

Must haves:

Medium size, lighter build

Tolerates cold&hot weather

Easy coat maintenance

Will to please

Medium/high energy

Suitable for hikes&canine sports

Suitable for jumpy sports

Playful

Okay if sensitive, would prefer less sensitive tho

Okay with being alone for a few hours if needed

Good with people and dogs

Isn’t bothered by obnoxious Lab behavior very much

Average lifespan longer than 10 years/as long as possible

Working/ working x mixed line

Cute

Breeder in Europe

A helpful, friendly breeder

Nice to haves:

Doesn’t shed a lot

Not noise sensitive

Not very sensitive in general

More of a quiet type of dog

Litter in the next 6 months (hahahahhaha I’ve been waiting for a little over 2 years at this point)

Likes water

Likes snow

Likes toys and food as rewards

Longer than average lifespan

Must not haves:

Guards people/property

Very large or very small

Prone to health issues

Very independent

High maintenance coat

Prone to DA or HA

Pure show line

Ideas: Aussie, Border Collie, Rough Collie, English Springer Spaniel, Welsh Springer Spaniel, Toller, Koolie

I’d met enough Aussies by that point to realize they weren’t exactly what I wanted in a dog, but I still really liked Border Collies. This time around I wasn’t intimidated by higher energy level anymore, but I was still a bit worried about sensitivity and the fact that most BCs I’ve met low key hated Maisie. There were a few who liked her, but many didn’t so I kept looking for a better fit (I thought it wouldn’t be fair for the new dog to be stressed by Maisie just existing and being herself..it wouldn’t be fair to either). I was considering Tollers too, but there weren’t any litters announced at all, and I knew of literally one breeders, so I kept on looking. I had a hard time with finding Rough Collies without extreme show coat and had trouble finding non extremely showy Springers around here as well.

I think I found out about Koolies when I was going through herding dogs, and it was a new breed I’ve never heard of or seen before. They were rarely included bc I was mostly looking at very generic lists I think. I read the description, watched a few videos and really really liked them. They had all the traits of aussies and BCs I liked, but weren’t as sensitive as BCs generally are or as prone to guarding as Aussies tend to be. I found two breeders in driving distance, contacted both, one was kinda weird with replies and said she doesn’t want to sell pups outside her country, but the other breeder was very nice and helpful in her replies and that’s how I started talking to the breeder of my future puppy! I met her and two of her dogs about two years ago and loooved them. They also aced the “can tolerate a playful (obnoxious) Maisie” test, the main thing BCs struggled with.

So unfortunately I couldn’t get a puppy from the two litters that were born in 2017 and 2018 bc my life circumstances weren’t suitable for a puppy at the time, but now I am READY and basically just waiting for the puppy to be born sometime this year.

Dog breed 2, try 1: Koolie → win!

[tango-uniformed]

Attica! Attica!

This sucks but I like Attica as a neurotic republican politician. Idk how to write Leon being mute or whatever I just gave him a stutter bc...communication. Also I dearly wanted Serena to have a solid place in the cast so I was like, what the hell, she can be on Attica’s staff. Idk if she should have an important position like campaign manager or something but rn she’s just an assistant. Also since this is Attica’s POV Serena is less funny and Leon is idk more caring than he actually is bc she perceives them that way (Serena is actually funny and Leon is actually a dick)

Its funny because I’m pretty sure Attica is going to be the “good guy” on the protagonists side and help them and Milo is going to end up being a terrifying source of trouble for everyone. Also I was like ok and rolled the ethnicity dice and was like the Kings can be Chinese and the surname King was changed by their grandfather from Qing when their family really started grabbing power, and then was like ok Serena’s adopted but she’s of Iranian origin (guess that means Danny is too)

$$$$$

Attica King averaged 4 hours of sleep a night. And that was if she was lucky.

Looking at twitter was giving her heart palpitations, but what was she supposed to do, 5 weeks before the Midterm elections? Her numbers guy said that her district would re-elect her by a large margin-- it was red. It had always been red. It wasn’t like that hippie freak who was running against her had a chance in hell. People in Indiana loved her. People in DC though, where she spent considerably more of her time, hated her guts. The vitriol and fake news that journalists were spewing about her online proved that much.

“I’m gonna kill somebody,” Attica said. It was 7 am. She had already been to the gym, showered, sensibly done her hair and make-up, and put on the kind of suit that said ‘listen to me you dummy’. She brandished her phone at her Chief of Staff. “Do you see what they’re saying about me, Leon? They act like I’m some kind of younger, smarter, Chinese female version of Stalin all because they can’t bully me into voting for their stupid gun regulations. People are out there blowing each other up with their minds! What the fuck am I supposed to do, help get rid of guns and leave every sucker who can’t do magic defenseless?”

Leonard, Attica’s Chief of Staff and younger brother, shrugged helplessly. She liked to think of him as the RFK to her JFK. Without the whole getting shot in the head thing. “G-get off twitter,” he said. He was not partaking in the breakfast that Attica’s assistant picked up for the team. Something about the breakfast pastries and espresso made him bitch about how unhealthy it all was. Leon opted to bring a protein shake instead, which worked out for him. At 6 feet tall and weighing over 200 pounds of muscle, he was often mistaken for her bodyguard if he wasn’t dressed up. He kept his black hair shorn close to his head, which didn’t help either. It made him look like he was the type to rip people apart with his bare hands. “You’re obsessing.”

“Where the fuck is Myers?” she asked. “He’s my communications director. Shouldn’t he be out here, I don’t know, directing? Putting an end to all this fake bullshit.” Attica looked at her phone again, pulling up a particularly offensive tweet. “‘ King is unhinged and desperate, putting the needs of lobbyists in front of the needs of her constituents.’--and this is posted with that terrible picture of me, that unflattering close-up where I had pollen in my eyes so they looked red.” She was gripping her phone so tightly that her knuckles went white. “Now whose fault was that? I didn’t have my eye-drops.”

The only other staff member present, Attica’s personal assistant of 3 years, went bug eyed. This was magnified by her thick lensed glasses. She put up her hands defensively and almost dropped the armful of manila folders she was holding. “That’s not my fault, that picture was from when I took some personal time off.”

“That was when you were vacationing in the mental hospital again and I had to rely on a temp for two weeks and was completely up shit creek without you, Serena, so yes it was completely your fault.”

Serena was in her mid 20’s and pretty in a frazzled, underfed, nerdy way. She had only been hired because she was Iranian or something and Attica had been afraid she looked racist after making some allegedly offensive comments while supporting the President’s drone strikes in the Middle East. As it turned out, Serena was brilliant and had graduated from Notre Dame with a degree in Political Science, an inexplicable Chemistry minor, and a desire to work on the Hill. The only reason Attica hadn’t appointed her to a more important position at this point was due to her unfortunate tendency to eat handfuls of pills whenever life got too stressful.

Attica quickly cycled back to the matter at hand. She poured some coffee, which she knew would only make her keep vibrating. It was her 3rd cup of the day. She felt like a hummingbird. “What am I going to do about these people degrading me online?”

From where he sat on the couch, Leon leaned over to out his face in his hands. Dramatic bitch. “For the last time, remember the first amendment.”

“R-r-remember the f-f-first amendment,” Attica repeated in a high pitched child’s voice, mocking him. She chugged the rest of her coffee and caught Serena staring at her like she had lost her mind. At this rate she was going to going to have a heart attack before she turned 40. “Grandfather would have sent someone after those motherfuckers with a crowbar.”

“G-Grandfather was a monster.”

He was right. But being monstrous was just more effective. Who was that old dead guy who said it was better to be feared than loved? Napoleon?

Attica kept looking at her phone. Too bad people didn’t seem to fear her yet. She could feel the blood pounding in her face. When she was angry, her skin turned very red, blotchy and unattractive. It couldn’t be helped. And what she was reading made her angry. Half of what she was mentioned in was negative. And half of those were violent, threats against her. “Here,” she said, landing on an egregious one. “‘King’s giant tits once again distracting everyone from her cloven hooves lol’. I want this person dragged into the street and shot.”

“Jesus C-Christ, c-c-calm down.” The muscles in Leon’s face tightened. He was gritting his teeth.

“Ma’am, maybe you should put your phone away,” said Serena.

Attica kept reading. “‘The NRA owns King but how would she like it if she got used as target practice’. ‘If I saw (pretend this is an at sign)AtticaKingIN in real life I would punch that bitch in the face.’” She began to breathe faster. Were these people from Indiana? Would they vote? Did they actually hate her? Who were these people? “‘King is part of the GOP gestapo’. ‘(at)AtticaKingIN doesn’t care about gun violence in her own state, vote her out!’ ‘I hate that dumb cunt (at)AtticaKingIN she needs to shut her mouth or suck my dick’. ‘I--”

Leon stood up, snatched Attica’s phone out of her hands, then held it above her head where she couldn’t reach it. Attica punched him in the chest but her brother was a wall of muscle and didn’t seem to feel it.

“Seriously, A, you need to c-calm down,” he told her. Attica punched him again. “I don’t want to know about the threats anyone’s making towards you, it’s upsetting. At 9, that lobbyist who works for Madeline C-Caligaris--”

“Do you want some xanax?” Serena interrupted.

Attica spun around to glare at her. She was aware of how flushed she must look. It was just...she cared so much about what people thought about her. “No,” she said coldly, but breathing heavily. She brushed a strand of hair away from her face. Imagine if Grandfather could see her now. After all, he had wanted Leon to head the family business. Hell, before he died, the old man had even expressed regret for treating their youngest..brother, Milo, like a stray dog. But never her. And Attica had tried so hard for all those years and slaved away just to get his validation… “Do you need a xanax, Serena?”

“I do now,” muttered Serena.

Attica tried to grab her phone one more time, then gave up and sat down.

It wasn’t even 7:15.

She took a deep breath to clear her head. “Ok. Tell me about this lobbyist. Calligaris-- that’s the Proverge exec, right?”

Leon nodded curtly. He put his sister’s phone in his breast pocket and sat down next to her. With a sudden rush of urgency, Attica realized that all he had wanted to do was protect her. How had their roles switched like that? When they were little she constantly made herself torment the kids who picked on him for the way he talked. After 30 years he barely even stuttered anymore. “C-can I get those files from Foster v Proverge, please?” Serena leafed through her armful of papers and presented him with the relevant ones. “Thanks. You read this, A?”

“Let’s work under the assumption that I didn’t.” She had been too busy talking to her numbers guy about the polls the previous night to actually look into anything that would affect her policies.

“Proverge wants to build a factory in your district. Magic distillation for use in their products. 200 new jobs. They c-can’t get approval in Indiana anymore-- they c-can’t get approval from most places these days because of all the lawsuits. People protest.”

Attica rolled her eyes. Liberals. “What lawsuits?”

“From the early 2000’s. Proverge distillation factories in Georgia, Tennessee, and Michigan all attempted to c-cover up widespread negative variant medical symptoms that affected workers who were exposed to thauma-slurry being distilled unsafely.” Leon flipped a few pages of the file. “Mostly c-cosmetic. But there were c-claims that the exposure to the slurry also lead to violent psychological problems and some c-clearly unsafe environmental effects.”

People were so whiny. Attica shrugged. “200 new jobs is more important than a couple honest mistakes the company made. I want to make this happen-- an announcement about job creation could really push my numbers in the polls. If protests become a problem, I’ll just send in the cops to clean them up.” She paused. “Or, I’ll send in Milo.”

Leon looked at her like he was trying to peerinto her soul or something. His broad, honest face was genuinely concerned. What did he see in her face? Did he see the will to do whatever she had to? “He’s g-g-getting worse. You c-can’t keep doing that.”

“The fuck I can.”

“He’s not listening to me anymore.” Leon’s face twisted up. Out of the whole family, he was the only one who treated Milo as more than he was. He allowed their deviant half brother to terrorize everyone as he pleased, just because he felt sorry for the bastard. “He’s go-g-going to screw up.”

The thing about Milo, was that someone had to be holding his leash.

“He’s fine,” Attica said with finality. “Maybe if he fucks up bad enough, he’ll actually learn his lesson.”

Leon stood up, handed her phone back, and walked out of the room without saying another word.

“Are you talking about your creepy little brother again?” asked Serena. She was scurrying around, straightening up the breakfast pastries and exuding her nervous energy. “He makes me uncomfortable.”

Attica massaged her forehead. “Me too,” she said. “Can you get in touch with the Proverge people and make sure they’re on their way?”

“On it.”

She could feel a headache coming on. But getting the credit for creating 200 new jobs... it was worth it. It was even worth dealing with Milo. It was worth it. She could be proud of herself. It was worth it. It would all be worth it.

Wouldn’t it?

[keshetchai]

Question, do you have any thoughts on demonolatry? It is a path I am seriously considering and slowly researching. I'm still working my way through the book The Devil and the Jews, but what I've read so far plus what I've been coming across in my demonolatry research (Hebrew is a source language for many texts) plus still being very ignorant of Jewish traditions over all has me cautious. I feel comfortable in demonolatry but don't want to trespass/appropriate something I have no right to.

Oh goodness, I have….different takes on my gut reaction/answers. I’ll divide them into mini-answers!

Answer #1: [The most generalist answer about cultural appropriation]

If the source language for a variety of texts in something is in a language you don’t understand, and isn’t a heritage language for you, then chances are high it would be appropriative for you to adopt this kind of practice. This might not always be a hard and fast rule, but like…it’s a pretty sure bet in this case that a bunch of Gentiles who made a practice using misinterpreted and perverted Hebrew texts for their own needs and then continued on for several decades or centuries is just going to get you an end result of cultural appropriation/cultural perversion.

Answer #2: [The issue of Jewish appropriation & western Orientalism]

I honestly don’t know much about demonolatry, but from what I can tell it’s another spin on western occultism which was and is, at its core, appropriative of Judaism as an “exotic” flavor to be added as Gentiles saw fit. The whole “seal of Solomon” thing being appropriation by occultists is part and parcel with this kind of stuff, and it’s really really weirdly orientalist. The use of a holy language in Judaism (Hebrew) for this stuff is just….really trying to make it more “magic” seeming.

I mean some of these occult texts are what, 1500-1600’s? When you realize Jews were expelled from Spain in 1492, and the inquisition continued to try and make sure that converso Jews didn’t revert to their heritage faith – I mean it’s just more of the same obsession with perceived connection between non-Christian (read: Jewish and Muslim) ties to demons and devil worship/working.

But then there’s later stuff, from what I can tell it’s like a chunk of stuff 1500-1600 and then again after the 1700’s a period 1800 - Today (at least the bulk of this stuff is before or after the Enlightenment period in Western Europe) and…. Surprise surprise, a bunch of white guys being obsessed with the magical secret demon rituals of the “exotic orient” is undeniably connected to gross European colonial/imperialist attitudes. Another generalization: stuff written by dead white guys about the “orient” or “near eastern” practices in the occult arts are full of shit.

Thing is – fear of cultural appropriation aside – is any of this NOT fully enmeshed in orientalist imperialist western attitudes? And is any of it going to hold up to any kind of academic-historical-archaeological scrutiny?

Answer #3: [The issue of “All religions have stuff we can’t prove, but some religions have more complete mishmash based on conflated facts and made up stuff that ignores academic study on the originating culture(s) than others.” AKA the Academics of Appropriation]

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh. If the PDF I found on my google search of the term is a real source on the demonolatry issue, then it just lumps a gazillion different devils/Angels/spirits/goddesses/gods/whatever that are all occurring over the span of what is in reality probably 2-3,000 years. They have nothing to do with each other in many cases! Like a “devil” that has an Arabic name naturally occurs much later in time than a really early babylonian type language spirit because of the timeline of when those languages began and developed. I’m also probably the wrong person to ask - the very mention of “Lucifer’ makes my eyes want to roll out of my head because anyone who ascribes that to a demonic-figure misunderstood that it was a criticism of a Babylonian King, and had zero to do with any kind of supernatural figure.

I don’t particularly know much about Mesopotamian/Fertile Crescent/Near Eastern/Levantine paganism but I do know an archaeological/art history scholar who does study the prehistoric/ancient near east and I just deeply truly feel like the emphasis on near eastern paganism is mostly about 19th century Orientalism. I’m going to guess that a majority of the stuff discussed by demonolatry is riddled with factual errors, misunderstandings, and conflations that come out of ignorance of the region, time periods, and religious practices that took place.

I try to be respectful of the fact that different people find solace in different kinds of religions, but I won’t lie - I found myself deeply dissatisfied with the whiteness, appropriation, and bad scholarship I found across pretty much all modern pagan variants some time ago. Like it’s not just not cohesive/disorganized, it also just…doesn’t have any grounding in the actual historical reality of these beings/spirits in the faith origins any of them come from? I find most people in paganism/neo paganism are really interested in only very specific texts. Like they’ll read someone’s (European) grimoire from the 1600’s but won’t pour over Sumerian archaeological digs and academic papers on Hittite worship - because the point is not really these ancient/prehistoric paganisms but the *idea* of them - the orientalist *concept* of the ancient near east. like why does everyone talk about the meaning of the color of the candle you use for an ancient (whoever) entity when candles….hadn’t even been invented yet? I’m pretty sure that spirit doesn’t care because wax/dipped (dyed & COLORED) candles weren’t a Thing Then. You know? the rituals mentioning pillar candles for something that was worshipped in like 3000 BCE just isn’t based in any actual practice of the time because they didn’t have that then. It’s a tiny detail, but you could expand that to almost anything you wanted.

Maybe that’s harsh of me? But like personally I deeply dislike this kind of stuff because I find it just as intellectually dishonest as many organized faiths can be, except these people tend to publicly emphasize their ancient spirituality/faith predates “xyz”. But if you can avoid Hebrew entirely, avoid Jewish-Hebraic entities AND Islamic AND Zoroastrian entities and are just focusing on like….worship of things from ancient religions which just don’t exist anymore? I mean, I guess? Like just don’t….use anything that at all uses or borrows from Hebrew/Judaism/Tanach (or the Christian Bible). That might help avoid Jewish appropriation but won’t get rid of the orientalist lens issue.

Anyways….

Last Answer: [The: “I have a Mom of Color” aka “the comedic kinda” answer]

NOPE NOPE NO NAH NU UH sure appropriation is bad but do you know what is ALSO BAD????? Inviting spirits into your life that have their own motives and powers and minds!!!!! NOPE.

Why would any spirit deign to work with your ass for free? THEY WOULDN’T! What makes u think they’re gonna let you set the price for their services? THEY WON’T! You also can’t work with someone else’s spirits, you have to work with your own!

Idk man I was forbidden from playing at seances as a child, my momma literally told me to never summon anything because you don’t know how powerful it is and whether or not it wants to hurt you I compulsively throw spilled salt over my shoulder to blind any devils behind me, I have a hand of hamsa amulet by my door, I grow sage at my windowsill, I have literally been trained my whole lil Mexican life to avoid the devil even though my mom explicitly does not believe in hell or an actual literal devil.

Honest we don’t believe in the devil but JUST IN CASE…..

So uh tl;dr:

1.) yes. It’s got appropriative elements 2.) and Orientalism/racism 3.) also I don’t even know if any of the sources I found actually are true of the origins of these entities in any historical or academic sense which is a large part of why I think it’s rooted in Orientalism/fetishizing of the near east 4.). I’m like ethically (ethnically?) obligated to tell you demons are Bad News and My Momma Says I Have to Go if Someone Uses so much as a Oujia Board, Right Now, Immediately, She is Calling Me for Dinner Probably. (I mean I can’t stop you and have met satanists/lucifer worshippers and wasn’t scared of them personally, and I don’t even believe in “The Devil,” but also I ain’t white.)

Thanks for asking though! Sorry if I seem….idk unfair? I think these criticisms I’ve made can be applied to a LOT of things, which is why I apply them also to any modern paganism strain.

[hongbubs]

@cinnamonsnow sent me an ask thing so prepare for a loooong Haikyuu (AsaDai and Yamaguchi) rant

AKA OHH BOYYYY BUCKLE UP DDDDDDD:

001 -AsaDai

When I started shipping it if I did: Like how many episodes did it take for Asahi to appear? That’s when :D

My thoughts: HAPPY HAPPY FEELINGZ ALL AROUND T.T I ship this ship to the ends of the world and back and it’s both my second favorite pairing for Daichi and Asahi. Because my first favorite pairing for BOTH Daichi and Asahi is AsaDaiSuga and I would die for all of these boys.

What makes me happy about them: That they exist??? Okay, so basically I love how insanely and completely Daichi trusts Asahi and how much he relies on him. Like how there seems to be 0 doubts in his head about Asahi backing him up and holding his ground in his stead and of course we mostly see that during games, but since this is a sports anime games are pretty good parallels for their everyday relationship. Asahi is a safety net for Daichi and when at the beginning he was trying so hard to get him to come back, I believe that was as much for himself as it was for the team - like for Daichi to function as well as a captain as he does, he needs to know that Asahi is there having his back, mentally and sometimes physically. Re: when he had to leave bc of his injury. Daichi puts on the bravest and strongest and most driven front for his team but we know that sometimes hes afraid and has doubts and I believe Asahi is amongst the few that are aware of that and are able to give some strength back to him.

As for Asahi, well, it goes without saying that when you are constantly viewed as one thing while being totally different (re: big scary guy vs actual baby kitten), when you constantly doubt yourself and try your damned hardest to overcome those doubts and fears, having someone trusting you and treasuring you unconditionally can save your life. I believe that Daichi loving and cherishing Asahi (either as just a friend or a lover) is a constant source of confidence and willpower for him, especially since he clearly looks up to Daichi in a way. (As does everyone and rightfully so).

TL;DR: It makes me happier than anything how SUPPORTIVE they are for each other, how much they can mutually rely on each other and overall how everything in their relationship seems to be built on mutual and unquestioned trust and love and respect, which in turn makes them both stronger as individuals.

What makes me sad about them: I’ve seen in mentioned multiple times that Daichi goes to Tokyo and Asahi doesn’t?!?!? And I don’t want them to separate?!?! :((((((((  Also the lack of AsaDai random interaction content : DDD

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: THE FACT THAT THE TAG HAS ABOUT 50 FICS?!? Like honestly I’m not gonna get annoyed because characterisation is the freedom of the artist, but I personally don’t enjoy reading about Asahi as this fragile and shy and insecure quasi-princess character. Sure he is mentally fragile sometimes and he gets shy and insecure sometimes, but he is also a strong-minded person, an ace of all positions, and he fights to overcome his fear of challenge and failure so hard. Don’t erase that part of him. Similarly, I don’t really like overconfident and insensitive Daichi either.

Things I look for in fanfic: basically existence? Xd mutual support and love and lots of caring for each other and just silly boys in love :D but then again I look for that in all fics soooo yeah.

Who I’d be comfortable with them ending up with, if not each other: basically all 4 of the 3rd years (so them and Sugawara and Shimizu) I’d love and support and cherish if they ended up together in any pairing. Other than that I haven’t given it much thought yet I guess? I just want them to be happy T.T

My happily ever after for them: I want Daichi to eventually get a job where he can keep on being a leader/teacher, maybe even a coach later, and before that, play in a uni team for a while maybe too… but I guess I can’t see either of them as Big City Men running around with briefcases. Maybe join one of those neighborhood volleyball teams together for fun… I’d love for Asahi to have his own little something, like a flower shop or a little craft store something equally pretty and cheesy, and Daichi helps out when he’s not coaching/teaching and its the ultimate soothing bliss for him, just arranging bouquets with Asahi, not really talking just being together, enjoying the quiet and the flowers and the company… and living like that until they’re both 200….

Who is the big spoon/little spoon: generally Daichi is the big spoon because even though Asahi is bigger, Daichi is just one of those people BORN TO BE the big spoon. Perfect husband spoon material… but then there would of course be times when he’d just curl up and let Asahi envelope him in warmth and safety and peace.

What is their favorite non-sexual activity: lots of outdoor activities, like hiking and biking and camping? Things where you don’t have to talk a lot to enjoy it, but if you want to, you can have the deepest/ most open conversations without feeling embarrassed. They’d go on these 1 night camping trips, hike somewhere with their stuff on their backs, discover little hidden streams or views from mountaintop, collect wood, build a little fire in front of the tent, watch the stars, talk about memories and future plans, dreams and fears, without having to feel awkward about being honest and vulnerable.

002 - Yamaguchi Tadashi

How I feel about this character: I WILL PROTECT AND LOVE HIM UNTIL THE DAY I DIE AND THEN MY GHOST WILL FLOAT AROUND WHISPERING INTO PEOPLE’S EARS: LOVE YAMAGUCHI

All the people I ship romantically with this character: There isn’t actually that many… YamaYachi is super sweet and lovely, and TsukkiYama is also sweet in its own extremely codependent and childish way :)) I haven’t honestly seen many Yamaguchi ships but basically anyone would be luck af to have Yamaguchi so, yeah.

My non-romantic OTP about this character: I LOVE LOVE LOVE how Shimada teaches him and helps him and believes in him and cheers for him, I love their relationship so muchhhhhhhhhhhhh also I generally see him and Tsukki as a BROTP rather than a couple but yeah that’s a whole different story :))

My unpopular opinion about this character: He is one of the strongest willed characters imo, because he’s technically the least talented and he gets nervous and misses a lot at first but instead of just quitting he struggles to keep up with the team. I was like that once (except I was not simply the least talented I basically sucked xdd) and tho I loved volleyball, I just quit because I hated staying while knowing that I’m the least useful member of the team. Idk what counts as an unpopular opinion since I haven’t read that many posts about him, but it’s certainly a very important one for me.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: the whole stadium cheering and shouting his name as he gets 10 consecutive no-touch ace points in? :D Oikawa saying that he’s great at serving? Tsukki hugging him and telling him how important his friendship is to him and how much he cares about him? Like, i know i know that THEY BOTH KNOW IT and like tsukki doesn’t have to SAY it for Yamaguchi to know, but I still want him to xd oooops that’s not one thing xd

My OTP: uhhh idkkkk as i said i havent seen that many pairings but out of the ones i saw its the TsukkiYama BROTP. Like if i had to choose one relationship with him and someone else that i love more than the others.

My crossover ship:… SO MANY FANDOMS TO CHOOSE FROMMMMMM but just. Limiting it to the few animes I’ve been watching recently (Shingeki no Kyojin amd Free)… he reminds me of Marco, kinda, so maybe Jean/Yamaguchi… AND ALSO CONSIDER: SMALL FRECKLED ANGEL YAMAGUCHI AND GIANT SOFT ANGEL MAKOTO. ALL THE ANGELS ALL THE SOFT.

One headcanon fact: one stolen (from @topftopf ’s BokuAkaKuuroTsukki series, aka the If You Read One Haikyuu Fic Series Then Make It This One as i like to call it): Yamaguchi grows out his hair, gets some tattoos and a bike, and he’s basically The Dream Guy. Hottest, Sweetest, Nicest, COOLEST by all standards. Get yourself a Yamaguchi.  And one original: sometimes when he just Cant Deal™ with Tsukki’s shit, he’d go to Yachi and BICH freely about how his best friend is insufferable because Yachi will always listen to him but would never say it back to anyone or hold it against Tsukki and Yamaguchi is always careful around others since everyone talks shit about Tsukki and he wants them all to see and love him as he does, rather than how Tsukki wants to seem. This later develops into free bitching sessions with the two of them where they can let out all their frustration about other people that they’d never say out loud to anyone else. (Like Yachi about her mom, or stupid first year boys that keep obnoxiously trying to flirt with her…)

[neytinintransit]

the o.g. six-two-six (tbc.)

“gonna be a short one because not n’uff time and nothing too profound happened”

- Me

---

I have a confession. During my travels, I really did not have n’uff time to write out these long-winded rambles about the shit I was doing everyday. Instead of cooping myself up in some cafe or room for 2 hours a trip to cook up some moody soul-talk (taipeing in taipei amirite), I chose to stack up on experiences. Most these words you’re reading were spun from the tips of my fingers in sunny California, but I did write little footnotes to capture the important parts. I knew I wouldn’t be able to rely on my memory bank to accurately share my experiences- Eric and I killed of too many of our braincells for that type of work. 

That quote up top is word-for-word all I had down for Taipei, and originally, that’s what this post was going to be about. Just some hyped-up, elongated Instagram post with not-so-clever captions. Four weeks out and looking back, I think I want to steer the post in a slightly different direction. Instead, I wanted to focus on this concept of brotherhood. I do have a brother that I care for and love very much, but this is for another type of brotha. That’s right, Eric, this one’s for you- think of it as some amped-up, bromantic version of the Adventures of Erthan Slohng. You know that thing where you start syncing up with someone if you spend too much time with them? Well that happened to us a lot, but I’ll save that for later. 

After landing in Taiwan, I managed to use the remnants of my broken Chinese to get us to our Airbnb. Surprisingly, the place we booked in Taiwan ended up being the nicest place we stayed at throughout our entire trip. Skipping over the fact that I’m wearing a tank-top hoodie and wiping my sweat with my shirt, you’ll notice the wide, spacious bedroom we had. Not pictured but also a positive addition to the dopeness of the location was the living room, kitchen, and in-house washer-dryer. 

Luckily, we landed with plans set to meet up with some friends that were working in Taipei for the summer. Before that, though, Eric and I decided to put a little rocking to the large bed we were blessed with. You guessed it: intense, hardcore ab workouts. After sharing my summer goals with Eric, he pulled out this little ab-workout app and set it to max-difficulty. That was probably the first and last time we worked out that entire trip, but I promise you I felt it in my core long enough to justify all the food we ate in the following weeks. 

To negate the whole workout, we had our friends take us out to grab some bomb munchies at the night markets nearby. Luckily, the spot we booked out was in the Zhongshan district, which was pretty central and close to Taipei 101. In a few minutes, I was able to down a solid dinner and some more. Unfortunately, my phone was dying so I couldn’t take too many pictures, but my man Eric here was able to capture this little gem.

It’s a sausage wrapped in another sausage. Like a turducken, but sausage style. Of all things, leave it up to Eric to pick out something like this. No lie, that shit was dank. Looking at that monstrosity of a hotdog makes me crave one right now. Among other things, we had some good egg tart (蛋挞), stinky tofu (臭豆腐), and 驴肉饭 (sorry idk the english translation but it’s some braised pork over rice thing that I love). We then skipped on home and food coma’d shortly after.

Besides being a place where the number one attraction revolves around eating everything (in)edible, Taiwan is apparently also known for its sulfuric hot springs scattered throughout the mountains. As per recommendation of the (now) homie James Chen, Eric and I made a trip up to Xinbeitou (新北投), where a majority of the major communal hot springs are located. Even though we weren’t far into our trip, travel took a lot out of us, and some communal bathing in a 100°F tub of relaxation did not sound like something to pass up on (though I was reluctant to make a public display of the disaster of a belly I grew over the trip). Looking back, we probably could’ve used a hot spring treatment or two at all of our destinations.

As you can see from the not-so-inconspicuous bead of sweat on Eric’s forehead, these springs were hot. You can see the steam, and the place was littered with large, red “DO NOT FALL” signs. On top of that, the whole place smelled of sulfur, since sulfur is the source of the spring’s healing factors. Just in case you didn’t know, sulfur is also what makes your farts smell bad.

Since Xinbeitou is a spot where both tourists and locals go to bathe and relax, the whole area is modeled as a sort of exhibit about the history of hot springs and how they this and that and that and this and ye. Eric and I probably fall into the bucket of basic tourists that travel for the gram and don’t really dig deep into the culture of each place because we’re only there for a few days; but hey, at least we’re in that bucket together. And we do try, sometimes. After exploring whatever there was to explore, we set a goal to find a hot spring to hop into. Unfortunately, we managed to time our trip during some Taiwanese holiday, so most of the hot springs were closed. We walked past a few of the ones we read about that had good reviews, but those were the ones you had to go in with a birthday suit. Luckily, we stumbled across Millennium Hot Springs on the way back. Even though we prepared (for once!) and wore swim trunks, they still made us purchase speedos for the hot springs. It’s probably how they make all their money, since the entrance fee was pretty cheap. I was pretty reluctant at first, but we reasoned out the purchase as a little souvenir, which means that I now own a much-too-tight, way-too-small speedo that I hopefully won’t ever have a reason to wear again. Before we went in, Eric snapped this photo of me in the little dojo/museum/gallery section of the hot spring:

To be honest, I thought it was a pretty shitty photo, but Eric wouldn’t stop raving about how “badass I looked in my dojo,” so I’m putting it here in his honor. I got you broseff.

As expected, the majority of the population was made up of older, retired locals who probably came here to relax and pass time. And to our surprise, the community was very kind and trustworthy. When we went in, one of the old men told us that it was fine to leave all of our belongings in one of the open cubbies, and then encouraged us to hurry into the hot springs before we ran out of time. You’d expect a few naive tourists to be easy targets in a highly touristed spot with plenty of locals, and to be honest, I was extremely skeptical. But like the idiots we are, we left ALLLLLL our shit there. I mean, we still kept an eye on it while we were in the springs, but it was still all our shit. And when we got out, it was still there. The old man said he had been watching over it, and he was glad we were able to enjoy our time there.

Rewinding it back to the important part, sitting in that spring was really something else. You’d think that you’d feel just as nice if you cranked up the hot water in a bathtub and slipped in, but trust me- there’s something intangible about the sense of comfort and warmth you get from the hot springs. Man, if only I had my camera out to snap a few photos of Eric’s face when he was relaxing in the water. It’s a different level in relaxation. In fact, there were exactly three levels, increasing in temperature the further up you went. I think the top pool hit around 104°F, which apparently isn’t even that hot to the locals. You’re supposed to spend a little bit of time in the previous spring before moving up to get your body acclimated to the temperature, but I legit saw some people hop right in. They also had a cold pool for people who wanted to bring their body temperature back to a more stable state. Eric and I loved hopping between the hot and cold springs. It’s sort of like going between the jacuzzi and pool back in the day when we had those pool parties. 

Part-way through our bath, it started raining. The contrast between the hot spring water and the cool rain also felt unreal. It was like taking that first bite into that perfect pizookie you ordered at BJs, fresh out of the oven. Anyway, both the rain and the fact that Millennium was closing was a clear sign for us to pack our bags (which were still there!!!) and leave.

If you know me well-enough, meaning somewhere in between the stranger and the best friend, you’ll know that I love large bodies of water. Even though it was raining, Eric and I decided to move from one pool to another, slightly bigger pool. We headed up to Tamsui, a coastal region of Taipei with a pretty massive boardwalk and a number of small shops and street vendors nearby. The whole place was mad cute, and the views were nice. 

You can’t really see it, but the ocean was even more beautiful in the rain. There’s something about large bodies of water that place me in a sort of meditative state. And while I was off, deep in thought about whether or not I should trust the cuttlefish vendor selling fried snacks on the sidewalk, Eric was doing this:

Also, doesn’t he look kind of weird here: 

Cuttlefish was a little sketch, but nonetheless, I purchased and devoured a generous amount only to regret it a few hours later. Since we had our fair share of snacking and exploration, we figured that the next logical move was obviously to hit up another night market and eat some more. And that’s exactly what we did.

We went to the Shihlin district, which supposedly housed one of the bigger night markets in Taipei. A few eventful things happened that night: Eric got another one of those sausage things, I had so many egg tarts that I lost count, and Eric tried his first durian that was way over-priced and totally not worth it. But it was still low-key worth it, since I got him to understand a bit more of what I grew up with. Here’s my pug-ass face biting into the $10 dolla piece of gold:

After eating our fill, our better judgment took us to this hotpot joint. The line was pretty long, but the food was mad cheap. It was like Boiling Point, but legit in all the ways Boiling Point wasn’t. If you can ignore Eric’s massive swol and focus on the pot, you’ll know what I mean:

And with that, we finally decided we were at our limit and headed home for the night. Here’s Eric regretting his decisions:

I’m not sure if I mentioned this, but when we were in Japan, I met Eric’s friends Lucy and Yi who also happened to be on a post-grad Asia trip. After leaving Japan, they were both signed up for this teaching program in Taiwan, and their stay in Taipei happened to overlap with ours. Surprisingly, one of my friends from home was also at the same program. One thing I’ve learned from traveling through the past few years is that circles do run incredibly small. There was even a time in Barcelona where I ran into a few high school friends in the middle of the beach. If you’ve ever been to a crowded beach in Barcelona during the summer, you’ll understand how crazy that is.

Anyway, Eric and I couldn’t really pass up on so many familiar faces, so we made sure to slot them into our plans. I forgot the name of the school, but the campus was pretty spacious and scenic. Lucy and Yi seemed happy, but my friend mentioned that she felt like a bit of a prisoner there. I was really worried for her, but I was glad to find out later that the rest of the program went pretty well. Partway through my conversation with her, one of her roommates urged us to climb up to the rooftop with her. And you know how I am with rooftops.

Needless to say, the view was breath-taking. After talking a bit more, we said our goodbyes and headed off on our way. 

Taiwan summer-time heat is hot. Being the smart travelers we are, Eric and I completely disregarded this fact and decided to walk to the nearest subway stop even though it was over half an hour away. I remember moments I genuinely believed that we wouldn’t make it. It reminded me a bit of the time where Eric and I went on the “Bridge to Nowhere” hike in California. Shit was rough.

In case you were wondering, we did make it. And of course, what came next was a necessity for anybody who steps foot in Taipei: some BOMBASS 鼎泰丰 (Ding Tai Feng) from its hometown. For those of you who don’t know, Ding Tai Feng is a relatively famous restaurant that originated in Taiwan, and they’re known for soup dumplings:

We ordered about six or seven orders of the soup dumps and some beef noods soup before topping it all off with some milk tea from 春水堂, the O.G. creator of boba itself. Here’s a poorly shot photo of the well made drank:

In Taiwan, you’re not allowed to bring opened drinks or food onto public transportation. Since Eric and I clearly prioritized our boba above all else, we decided to do some quick shopping in the area before moving onto our next destination. Staying true to the theme of this post, I decided to purchase a Mickey shirt from Uniqlo to match Eric’s current outfit. All cringe and bromance aside, it was a good thing I purchased a second shirt. What came next was an hour-long, humid, summer-heated hike up Elephant mountain, and anyone who knows me knows how much I sweat. 

Out of everything we did in Asia, hiking always felt incredibly rewarding. It was more than the panoramic view you got once you hit the top (which by no means was anything short of amazing). Even though it was definitely unsanitary, we played with a number of stray dogs that, like all dogs, seemed to long for human interaction (and food). We joked about how we’d probably end up as cicada food every time these invisible bugs filled the otherwise rigid silence of the forest with the sharp, deafening sounds of their hiss. And, when we had a moment to breathe, we spoke about how this would be the last time in a while that we’d be able to take a trip like this. We were living without obligation, free to go wherever and do whatever we wanted. Free-spirited. I think that’s what they call it.

For me, that feeling was so wonderfully liberating, and it is one that will always remain embedded in the person I am. Nowadays, whenever Eric and I catch up, the nine-to-five (or in my case, eleven-to-seven) life rarely ever carries any excitement, but we always light up when we talk about our next adventure. If I ever do pack up my bags and wander somewhere, you best bet Eric’s the first person I’m taking along with me.

After wrapping up our photoshoot at the peak, we made our way over to Taipei 101. There, we met up with Michelle Yeh for dinner before going out for the night. One thing I learned from traveling in college is that it’s crazy how international my classmates were. From Europe to Asia, I was pretty much always able to find a friend in the city I was in. I wonder if that statement still holds true, or if the bulk of them are, like me, off in SF/NYC working their shiny new office jobs.

After dinner, we met up with James and Co. for a night out. The rest of the night wasn’t too eventful- just kind of weird. Somehow, Eric knew a promoter that was able to get us into Omni, one of the most popular clubs in Taipei which apparently doubled as a church on Sundays. Yep- after a Saturday night of drinking and dancing, the club kicks everyone out, cleans up, and opens the doors for Jesus. It was probably a combination of crab girl (lol), the crowd we were with, and that particular night we were out, but Omni was mad OK. It was our last night in Taiwan, though, so we tried to make the best of it and stayed out until the club was practically empty.

There were many things Eric and I overlooked when planning this trip. One of these many things included the discrepancy between checkout and flight times. For Taiwan, we were intelligent enough to book an Airbnb with an early checkout time and a flight that departed at night. That left a full day of crawling and walking around the city with our fifty-pound bags.

Welcome to suitcase hell*. If you look closely at our faces, you can tell that we’re absolutely ravaged. I don’t know if I made it clear before, but summer in Taiwan (and most of Asia) is hot. Add about half your body weight, a list of errands that took us all over Taipei, and a predisposition to sweating profusely, and you’ve got yourself a pretty rough day. 

The first leg of our trial had us trek back up to the international school. Long story short, I had to drop off a sim card for Brenda before leaving because she felt a bit trapped and had no consistent way of contacting the outside world. Next, we had to trip down to the southern of Taipei to return this metrocard that I borrowed from James. Now that I’m writing all this out, I guess a good number of these errands were because of me. Whoops.

<Draw a map of the journey so people get the pain>

Though painful, we did have some pretty interesting experiences while running around city. On the way up to Brenda, we somehow ended up in this abandoned underground mall. In these wide-open basements, there were several dance teams rehearsing and training- it looked like a scene out of some movie. I feel like if I ever lived in Taiwan, I would definitely find some way to get involved in this scene. After making all that distance with weight on our backs, we were starving. Luckily, we stumbled upon the most famous 卤肉饭 joint in the city and ended up eating three large bowls each. Finally, we accidentally stumbled upon this gem right here:

You know that thing about how you start syncing up with someone if you’re around them too often? Well if you hadn’t already noticed, Eric and I are once again matching, but this time it was unintentional. We definitely experienced turbulence, but the trip would not have been nearly as fun and fulfilling without him (and all the stupid shit we laughed at). The memories I have from this trip will probably be some of the happiest of my life, and I’m glad I was able to share it with him.

(tbt to high school).

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past few months of “adulthood,” it’s that making and maintaining close relationships becomes much more difficult as you age. Even though we’re living pretty different lives in different cities across the country, I’m still able consider Eric as one of my closest friends, and I’m grateful for that. 

* We later discovered that the host would have been fine with us leaving our bags at the place, but we were already in too deep to turn back.