#i’m making an exception to my semi-hiatus

[magz]

If you’re a poor person, especially a person of color or racial minority, in the U.K. - since the Queen dying is going to cause a spike in fascist activity and used as an excuse to make things harder for the poor:

add your pay links to this post and any other ways to help you

[tryhoney]

so i was thinking about how i’ve read so many good fics over the last few months of joining this fandom and that i needed to archive them somehow for when i want to reread them. and also share them with all of you!

i’m really exposing myself here but these all have an explicit rating (with one m rated exception). it’s really all i read unless someone recs me something with a lower rating. just a warning to anyone who isnt into that!

the first five are my all time favorite larry fics, but after that they aren’t in any particular order. i'll be updating this as i find more i want to add.

♡

Hiding Place by anonymous (365k words) - Louis never wanted a soulmate, didn’t really care for the whole Bonding thing at all, really. Enter Harry Styles, who’s wanted to be Bonded for as long as he could remember. With one fateful meeting in an X Factor bathroom, Louis gets a dagger on his arm and the realization that just because Harry is his soulmate doesn’t mean it’s mutual. From the X Factor house to Madison Square Garden, from the Fountain Studios stage to stadiums across the world, Louis has to learn to love without losing himself completely, because someday his best friend will Bond to someone and replace Louis as the center of his universe. Meanwhile, Harry begins to think that maybe fate doesn’t actually know what it’s doing after all, because his other half has clearly been right in front of him the whole time. All he has to do now is convince Louis to give them a chance. Or, the canon compliant Harry and Louis love story from the very beginning, where the only difference is that the love between them is literally written on their skin, and there’s only so much they can hide.

And Then a Bit by infinitelymint (159k words) - “We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.” Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts. (aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)

my heart is breathing for this moment in time by usedtothebeach (160k words) - When Louis first saw Harry at the 2010 X Factor Auditions, he thought he was watching a peculiarly special stranger. But Harry has known Louis ever since he was five years old. Because Louis has a rare genetic disorder that causes him to Time Travel to important moments in his past and in his future - and to Harry, always to Harry. When they're put into a band together, it seems like everything Harry has been waiting and wishing for has finally come true.  Except for the small fact that Louis doesn't know that Harry is in love with him- that Harry's always been in love with him. Fate, it would seem, is just getting started. A story about growing up and growing together, and the impossible love that makes it all worthwhile. 

The Greatest Thing by infinitelymint (164k words) - “What’s that on your finger?” Louis asks, his voice higher than usual, slightly panicked as though he’s realised something that Harry hasn’t even begun to comprehend. Harry looks down on his right hand then, sees nothing and moves on to the left, and—Oh. A ring.Or, Harry and Louis haven’t spoken since the band broke up when a dangerous combination of Niall Horan, tequila, and an ordained Elvis impersonator means that the two of them have to embark on their biggest publicity stunt to date - together. (aka the semi-canon accidentally married in Vegas fic that has been seven years in the making)

You'll Breathe Me In (You Won't Release) by LoadedGunn (95k words) - His first driving lesson with Louis takes place on a Saturday. Harry stumbles out through the front gate in thrown-on baggy jeans and his ratty Ramones shirt, sees Louis leaning casually against the car, and his knees nearly give out.  Apparently "not another surly teacher" meant a drop dead gorgeous twenty-something scruffy guy with shaggy brown hair and cheekbones sharp enough to chop a salad with. Clearly, Robin's trying to get Harry killed at seventeen. Or, the AU where Louis is a 25-year-old driving instructor and Harry is a 17-year-old virgin who's really awful at seduction, except for the time he gets Louis to fall for him and fuck him senseless and take him on kinky adventures.

Sail Across Me by iwillpaintasongforlou (22k words) - Harry is a prince that is about to be forced into marriage against his will and running away to sea seems like a much better option. Louis is the captain of the infamous pirate ship The Rogue and he has a thing for helping defenseless creatures. Especially when they're as pretty as this one.

Loving You Is Free by littlelouishiccups (68k words) - Louis is a workaholic record label CEO who hasn't been on a date in nearly a year. Niall and Liam make an account for him on a sugar dating website as a joke. And then Louis meets Harry.

let's talk about making love by istajmaal (25k words) - “That’s my name, baby, I’m Louis.” The voice on the phone inhales sharply, then says, “Gonna take my cock now, princess?” Harry lets out a high-pitched mhmm and shudders as he pulls his fingers out of his hole, groping for the vibrator. “Nice to meet you,” he says, feeling a bit dizzy with how hard his untouched cock is. Louis is just a simple phone sex line operator, but to Harry, he's Daddy.

babydoll blues by devilinmybrain (112k words) -  Louis is a high profile, filthy rich label executive who has the world at his feet - a music god.. Harry is the sugar baby trying to make a name for himself singing in shady bars and hanging off the arm of Louis' biggest rival. What Louis wants, Louis gets. But what if the game gets too hot and hits a little too close to the heart?

All That I Could Never Lose by chelseafrew (145k words) - One Direction takes on "The X-Factor" with a twist: Harry Styles was born blind.

You Were My New Dream by princesshalo ( 49k words, M RATED!! its a tangled au hellloooo) -  Prince Harry has spent the majority of his life trapped within the castle walls, forced to hide from the kingdom he never asked to be born into. He doesn’t want to be the next King of Eroda, because according to his father, kings don’t wear dresses, paint their nails, or braid flowers into their magical hair. And Harry happens to love those things about himself, almost as much as he thinks he could love the new combat instructor his father has summoned to mold him into a more acceptable man, just in time for his impending coronation.

(don't forget) where you belong by rippedgloves (39k words) - the one where Louis wakes up from a coma and doesn't remember Harry.

i'm fearless with my heart by dontletmedown (26k words) - What do you do when your heart is in one place and your brain that's trying to keep you sane is only holding on by a thin thread? [The one where a young Louis is naive and fearless with his heart when he meets a very married Harry. He possibly doesn't stand a chance.]

i’d burn this city down to show you the light by you_explode (24k words) -Harry's a sheltered rich kid and Louis's a punk with a heart of gold. They meet when Louis breaks into Harry's house, Harry obtains an instant and all-encompassing crush, and they spend the summer falling into a whirlwind romance.

One More Time Again by anonymous (232k words) - Harry looks down to where Louis is cradling his hand between his own. Louis' hands are slender, the bones delicate, the nails bitten short. The 2-8 on the backs of his fingers is gone, but the faded scar from a skateboarding mishap in Year 7 is still there. Harry's hand is awkward, knobby-boned and naked, no rings, no tattoos. It's too big for his wrist and his wrist too big for his arm. Yet it still somehow fits in Louis' in the painfully perfect way it always did .He blinks back the sting in his eyes. On the morning of his second sold-out performance at Madison Square Garden, Harry wakes up to find that he's sixteen years old, on The X Factor, and that he has a chance to make things right. A canon-compliant fix-it fic (sort of).

Take Our Bodies Higher by littlelouishiccups (21k words) - Harry wasn’t often caught off guard at his job anymore. He called different men Sir, Master, or Daddy for work almost every week, but he’d never been told he was a good boy in a voice quite like that. In which Harry is a phone sex operator and Louis dials a wrong number.

The Tiny Little Bungalow by pointerbrother (119k words) - “She wants us to move in with her and - and her kids, of course. ”Louis blinks harder. “Wait - what?!” He can’t fathom it. They’ve only been dating for five months or summat. “And you agreed to this?! Without even running it by me?!” “Yes,” Troy sighs, eyes wide and apologetic, stature provocatively calm in contrast to Louis’ jittery one, “and I knew you’d have a reaction like this one, but there’s really nothing I can tell you other than… well, that I’ve said yes already and since you’re only fifteen you’re coming with me. And… that I’m sorry to uproot you like this, lad.  But… yeah. I don’t know what more to say.” “Wait,” Louis can’t hardly breathe, “wait - hang on, does - does this mean that-” His dad nods. “Yes. We’re moving to Holmes Chapel.” or Fifteen-year-old Louis Tomlinson gets reluctantly uprooted from his Doncaster-life when his dad decides to move in with his new girlfriend Anne and her two kids. Speaking of the kids, one of them is this curly-haired bloke who's just a little too pretty for both his own and Louis' good.

Went Down In Flames by hazzatomlinson (27k words) - Louis was in an absolutely shit storm. He had let it go on for too long. Let it go too far. But he had a plan. And tonight, said plan was going down. He was going to tell the boys he was proposing this weekend. ‘Harry’ would turn him down, albeit gently, and Louis would play the heartbroken boyfriend. He’d gotten this far. All he had to do was lock himself in his bedroom and cry a little. He’d been in a few plays growing up. Piece of cake.Except. It didn’t go that way. Of course, it didn’t. Because the universe, the beautiful chaotic bitch that she was, just had to have an actual Harry Styles and he just had to be Niall’s best friend.

Here's Your Perfect by brightgolden (54k words) - All finesse tossed aside, Harry yanks the envelope from Miss Eden’s hand. He hears her laugh, bright and cheerful as he tears into the envelope. His eyes skipping over the complimentary paragraph congratulating him for being assigned, settling into the centre of the letter - the name of his future mate.And suddenly, Harry feels there isn’t enough air in this world for him to inhale as he recites the name in his mind. Louis Tomlinson.ORIn the world where mates are assigned to everyone and deposited to their door when an agreeable partner is found for them, Alpha Louis has recently been given his. However, he is nothing like the type of alpha that the omega academy prepares Harry for.

burn to ash by bethaboo (116k words) - Harry is sitting there, so fucking casual, and Louis realizes in a split second he was not ready. When Harry walked out in Detroit and never looked back, he was a boy verging on a man, still only twenty years old, but there's a man in his place now. Hard and resolute, yes, but still, for the first time in a long time, Louis can kind of see the old Harry in him. The soft, directness of his gaze, the hesitant smile he gives to Lou, the way he wrings his ridiculously large hands in his lap.He's a little bit the eager sixteen year old puppy dog again, his innocence and sweetness resurrected miraculously, and Louis freezes in place. He was prepared to face the asshole Harry. He was prepared to meet a whole new Harry.Louis is not prepared to meet one of the old incarnations of Harry, and it absolutely tears him up.Or the fic where Harry spirals out of control, the band breaks up, and then he shows back up, five years later.

Pretty Please (With Sugar On Top) by angelichl (114k words) - Harry is a sugar baby omega who cons rich alphas for a living. Louis is a rich alpha with too much self-control.

[hyunnows]

IN THE CARDS | LEE FELIX

“… the stars in the sky who decided love was not in the cards for you.”

PAIRING(s) | Felix x reader

THEMES | angst, unrequited love, high school juniors!au, I think that’s all :>

WORD COUNT: 1.23k+

RATING | pg

NOTE | surprise! no- I’m not off hiatus yet. Unfortunately my laptop is still out of order and I hate writing on my phone but I really wanted to post something ✦ angsty ✦ so here we are T^T anyway I hope you enjoy and I hope I can get back here soon! Have a great day/night! Also feel free to ignore this new layout, or give feedback whether you like it or not, ty <3

SKZ M.LIST

You’d liked Felix since the third week of school when you two were freshmen. Now, years later, you still harbored the same feelings for him, except much stronger. Throughout your freshmen, sophomore, and now junior years, you’d grown closer to him. You two’s friend groups often ran into each other and combined, making the two of you semi familiar friends. You’d even hung out a few times together.

Of course you never acted on it. You were too shy to do anything about your schoolgirl crush. In fact, you were sure it would fade eventually, which was why whenever Areum—your best friend—would bring up your “mystery boy”, you’d always do your best to conceal his identity. You just knew she’d try to play Cupid, and you just weren’t ready to be embarrassed like that.

But recently, you'd heard him talking about a girl. One his and your friends apparently knew considerably well, and one he hung out with “sort of often”, as he’d described it. Yet he always seemed hesitant to talk about it, especially when you were around.

Trying to solve the mystery, your friends had come up with a few theories. One being that there wasn’t a girl in the group and he just wanted to throw them off. Another being it was a newer girl who’d recently transferred and taken a liking to your social circles. And the last one being that he had a crush on you.

Your friends were oblivious to your feelings for him, yes, but that didn’t stop them from seeing some sort of chemistry between the two of you. Their main pieces of evidence included that Felix always preferred to sit on your side of the table at lunch, that he could be caught looking your way a few times a day.

So when you saw him looking a bit nervous and glancing around you, you couldn’t help but think that maybe he’d grown some feelings for you over the time you’d known each other.

Twiddling his thumbs, he’d waited for your friends to clear out from the hall quietly asking you to stay behind so he could speak with you privately.

When your friends heard him ask you to stay behind, they all winked and giggled like middle schoolers, nudging you and bouncing their brows. Even if you didn’t want Felix to have a crush on you, they’d have you pretty convinced he was going to ask you out with their borderline ridiculous behavior.

Still playing with his hands and shifting side to side as he waits for you to approach him. Adrenaline pumps through your veins, and you try not to look too eager to hear what he needs to say. “What did you need to talk to me about?”

“Well you know how our friend groups have been mixing up a lot the past three years, and we’ve all grown kinda close. It’s only natural that someone would end up liking someone else, right?” He rants, trying not to stumble over his words or say too much more than he needs to. You nod at his question, doing your best not to smile stupidly at his cute antics and urging him to continue talking. “Well, I was just hoping that maybe…”

You hold your breath in anticipation, your hands you’re hiding behind your back clinging to each other with excitement. It’s actually happening, he’s as asking you out—

“Maybe you could ask Areum to meet me behind the sakura trees in the field later today. Oh, but don’t tell her its me she’s meeting, I want it to be a surprise, so just say she’s meeting you. Unless you don’t want to, because I can ask someone else—“ his voice rings in your ears, any other words he utters blending together into an incoherent mess.

All those glances, the nervousness, the giddiness and whispers between his friends and blushed cheeks when you were around… they weren’t directed at you.

It’s only now you realize, he wasn’t looking at you, he was looking at Areum

He wasn’t nervous or shy or excited because you were around, it was because Areum was with you.

The whispers and flustered expressions, they were because he liked her.

Not you.

Her.

You knew your best friend was pretty, and smart, and funny, and kind… just like you were. But she was all of that, and more. She was any guy’s dream girl and you’d never envied that more than you do right now.

But you pick up your slack jaw, blinking away the tears that were trying to well up in your eyes and smiling as brightly as you can muster. Clasping your hands together, you squeal with excitement, jumping around with false joy. “Oh my god, you have a crush on her? That’s so cute! You two would be such a great couple! Yes, of course I’ll tell her! What time?”

At least you had time to prepare for the scene you’re about to witness when four o’clock rolls around and you watch your best friend approach the sakura field with a face full of confusion. You watch him nervously pick up the flowers he’d bought her and take a deep breath—all while he was hiding behind a tree and trying to collect himself.

When he finally emerges from his hiding spot, a sheepish smile on his face as Areum turns to him with a raised brow, trying to do anything other than wish you were in her place right now. Oh, what you would give to have Felix look at you the way he looks at her—like she alone was responsible for keeping the world turning and making sure the sun rose everyday. What you would do for just a taste of the affection he reaches for her hand with, the gentleness he places the flowers in her grip with,

You barely hear her answer to his long, well rehearsed yet still raw and genuine confession, your ears clogged with the sound of your own pulse and uneven breathing, You swear the shattering in your chest is more than just your emotions—it’s too painful to not be physical too.

When you walk into the halls the next day, you can only blame yourself for the happy new couple holding hands by your locker.

And when he stops you by the wrist to thank you for your help, you hide the bitterness in your tone as well as you can, muttering a soft, “Don’t mention it.”

Truly, you never want them to as long as you live, because you never want to be reminded that you’re the reason they ended up together. You introduced them, asked them to hang out with you in hopes of having your love requited. You’re the one who never opened up about their crush, or did anything about it for that matter.

And when Areum joins in, a bright smile on her perfect face as she thanks you for helping them get together, you really do mean it when you say with the most gentle tone you’ve ever used, “Don’t thank me, please,” Your faux smile hiding the pain in your eyes as theirs lock with nothing but love for the other.

But in the end, you did this to yourself, and have nobody else to blame besides someone the stars in the sky who decided love was not in the cards for you.

NAVI

[actualbabe]

i was. womdering if you had more schnick content. perhaps a. fic. or an except of a fic.

please help i just discovered there is indeed a tiny little fanbase for these two and i am DESPERATE for contents

hi there! i am on a permanent hiatus of writing fanfic. i have a handful of schmidt/nick and/or gay new girl ideas that are mostly just digital scribbles in random google docs, but i'm afraid they'll be sealed away as i enjoy my fanfic retirement

that said, here's a lil something from the vault :)

Happy Pride!

---

“Oh, I can come back,” Nick offers, already taking a step back towards the door.

“What? No!” Jess protests, waving him forward towards the bed even as Cece groans in dismay. “How'd I get so lucky? My bro and my hoe!”

Nick hadn't meant to walk in on them together, Cece just happens to be an ever-present presence at the loft ever since she and Jess finally sealed the deal. They've been practically attached at the hip ever since Valentine's day, with Schmidt rapidly fluctuating from making douchey comments attempting to insert himself into their sex life, dismay over his lost shot with Cece (however improbable), irritation over the mounting threat of female domination of the loft, and wise cracks about the logistics of a dual-bang relationship. Winston rapidly went through the five stages of grief upon discovery of their secret relationship, that is if those stages were Shock, Arousal, Anger, Bargaining, and Acceptance. (This was also conflated with finding the two of them semi-nude in the back of his car following a multi-hour musical sing-a-long, so perhaps he wasn't in the best place for such a revelation).

Nick knew before it even had officially begun, thanks to a drunken heart-to-heart slash dual-coming-out on the bathroom floor circa 5am on New Year's Day. He'd been a pretty pathetic sight, a jumbled mix of gay denial and reeling over the discovery that he was hopelessly in love with his best friend after watching said best friend makeout with some random dude who must be a horrible, terrible, no good, awful guy, even though Nick doesn't know a thing about him. Jess just wanted to pee, but she's always been quick to comfort people when they're mid-crisis. She's a good person like that. To date she is also significantly more successful at navigating and acting on best friend romance.

Hence his arrival. He stands before the lesbian council of Jess and Cece, pointedly staring away from any potential errogenous zones currently covered by layers of bedding.

“Have you told him that you’re gay?” Jess asks, her hands folded over her stomach and on top of the comforter delicately tucked around her midsection. Cece, looking terribly inconvenienced, flops back into the pile of pillows beside her girlfriend.

“Psh, yeah,” Nick scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest and pulling a face. “I’ll just tell Schmidt I’m gay. Yeah, right.” 

Jess looks puzzled. “Um, exactly?”

Nick sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Jess, come on. I need some kind of plan here. A scheme.” He looks up at the ceiling, rubbing at his chin in thought. “Maybe I’ll get a skywriter. No, too expensive. Oh! I’ll write it on a little piece of paper, and then I’ll tie that to a bird’s leg, and then I’ll send the brid through his window-”

“You’re making this way too complicated,” Cece says, cutting off his rather brilliant brainstorming process. “Just tell him that you like him.”

“That I like him?” Nick scoffs. “What is this, Middle School?”

“Fine.” Cece rolls her eyes. “Tell him you want to suck his dick.”

Both he and Jess reel back in mild disgust at Cece's statement. Yeah, he does technically want that, wants it maybe a little bit too much, but that doesn’t mean he wants to hear it out loud. Or stated so plainly by Cece, who is still very much undressed (albeit tucked carefully and strategically beneath the floral blanket) and lying in Jess’ bed. 

“And you say that I’m the immature one.” Cece rolls her eyes again. “Honestly, you’re only making this harder on yourself. Just tell him.”

“I have.”

Jess gives him a knowing look.

“Okay, I haven’t told him. But he knows. I know he knows.” 

Jess and Cece glance at each other skeptically, doing that weird thing where they communicate via telepathy and minute twitches of their eyes.

“Look, it’s a guy thing, okay? You wouldn’t get it.”

Cece looks up at the ceiling, fully unimpressed and looking rather fed up with this conversation. “You know what? I’m okay with that.”

“Just use your words, Nick.” Jess smiles encouragingly at him. 

Nick lets out a sigh.

“Now if you’ll excuse me,” Cece says, shifting back towards Jess to press her lips to the corner of her jaw as the comforter begins to slip dangerously down the length of her bare shoulder. “I have some very pressing business to attend to with my girlfriend.”

Jess giggles and Nick suppresses his gag reflex. “You two are disgusting, I hope you know that.”

“Duly noted,” Cece comments, her head traveling lower down the slope of Jess’ neck.

“But what about me?” he protests, still feeling entirely unresolved.

“Goodbye, Nick,” Jess reiterates, shooing him out the door as she tilts her head back to give Cece better access to her throat.

---

The following afternoon while Nick’s shaving, he develops and finalizes his plan of attack. The next time that Schmidt goes to Fredo-kiss him, he’s going to grab onto either side of his face and haul him into it. Just like that. Easy. Simple. Most importantly: no words needed.

Nick Miller is a man of many talents: zombie novel author, expert handyman, thrifty consumer. That said, being good at feelings is not exactly one of his strong suits. He has grown to accept this for himself after a lot of personal growth and self reflection. Mostly resignation. Almost entirely resignation.

He scrapes the razor over the last patch of skin on his jaw before rinsing it in the sink. He leans over to splash water over his freshly-shaven jaw to wash off the remains of shaving cream from his face before standing up to look himself in the mirror, nodding resolutely at his reflection. It’s a foolproof plan. 

---

Or at least, it would have been a foolproof plan. 

Instead, after years of blatantly ignoring Nick numerous pleas, Schmidt seems to have suddenly decided to stop Fredo-kissing him entirely. It is, quite frankly, absolutely ridiculous. After weeks of frustration go by without even the slightest peck to the cheek, Nick feels like he might just lose his mind. Nick goes to extreme lengths in an attempt to solicit such attempts from Schmidt, all without success. He even stoops so low as to compliment Schmidt’s choice of wardrobe, which just draws an raised eyebrow of amusement from Jess and a look of bewildered confusion from Winston, but Schmidt just shakes it off and accuses Nick of trying to poke fun at his expense, which under any other circumstance would be the correct answer, and Nick storms away to his room to mull over yet another failed attempt.

Dammit, how hard is it to get someone to kiss you?

Nick’s in the middle of his ongoing internal strife over the whole situation when things go topsy-turvy in the form of Jess tackling him for no good reason during their pickup football game, leaving him writhing on the ground in agony while Schmidt stands over him in his stupidly tight leggings spouting absolute nonsense as Jess fusses over his prone body and Winston looks thoroughly amused about the whole situation. It is, frankly, entirely unfair. 

And then, to makes things even worse, Jess insists on hauling him off to see her lesbian lady doctor friend, where Nick is then unfairly subjected to further prodding of both his tender body and newfound sexual orientation, which are two blows to his manhood that he did not need on a Saturday morning, thank you very much. 

To cap off the whole experience, Jess’ lesbian doctor friend thinks he might have cancer, so that’s fucking fantastic. 

---

Like most things, Nick copes with his possible cancer diagnosis by getting unreasonably drunk. He does a lot of moping, still high on painkillers and a bit too crossfaded to be completely coherent and gets in an argument with Jess about funerals and doing worthwhile things in your life that ends with her getting upset and him feeling guilty and frustrated, a feeling that only doubles down when he glances across the bar and sees Schmidt talking to Cece.

Winston sings him a sad song and Schmidt attempts to rap and under normal circumstances both of these things would be subject to ridicule and/or douchebag jar-able offenses, but Nick is both drunk and sad enough to appreciate the attempts to cheer him up and honor his memory. Cece tops them all with an actual rap like something right out of a Fruity Pebbles commercial, earning applause from the three guys and a slightly-sloppy kiss from Jess. 

---

Flash forward several hours and an ill-fated attempt to splash in the ocean later, and they're at the beach, Jess and Cece huddled close together beneath their coats and Winston passed out in the backseat of his piece of shit car. Nick sits further out from them and stares out at the waves, mulling over his thoughts when Schmidt appears at his side.

“This seat taken?”

“All yours.”

For a few minutes there’s nothing but the sound of the waves crashing on the shore. It feels appropriately moody, and although Nick’s a little pissed at Jess for convincing him to run into the freezing water buck-ass naked, he does appreciate her choice of scenery for his cinematic moment.

“You know what I’m thinking about?”

“What, Schmitty?”

“That now I've finally gotten to see your manhood, even if it was too cold out to showcase its full glory.”

“I can’t believe you.” Nick shoves at his shoulder in annoyed disbelief, and Schmidt sways at the contact. “That’s what you're thinking about now? I’m your best friend, and I’m fucking going through something here, man-”

“I know, I know.” Schmidt shakes his head in mock shame, still staring out at the distant ocean, and Nick resists the urge to smack him upside the head or tackle him to the ground to rub his face in the sand. Of all the ways for Schmidt to see his penis for the first time, even with all that ridiculousness of Jess and his weird obsession over the strength of their friendship. After everything that has happened since then it almost feels like ages ago.

“Then why would you say that?”

“I don't know why.”

“Why would anyone say that?”

Schmidt shrugs. He turns back to look at Nick again. There’s something complicated hidden in the shadows of his eyes, and it makes that awful feeling in Nick’s chest well up and multiply. Nick can feel the words he’s been trying to say for months, hell, years, sticking in his throat, just beneath the ticking time bomb in his neck. He opens his mouth to say something, only to shut it a few seconds afterwards when nothing comes out. Another wave crashes over the sand, flowing up over the shore and leaving the ghost of white sea foam in its wake before it's soaked down into the wet sand. 

Staring out over the reflection of the moon on the water, Nick thinks about what Jess said, about not doing things and about regret. He thinks about how brave she is, about the way she looks at Cece and how it lights up her whole face. He thinks about his future if he really does have cancer: about lying in a hospital bed in Chicago far away from his friends, and how his whole body would ache with the longing to be with them one last time before he kicked the bucket. He thinks about his ma crying at his funeral, about his dad trying to pull a slip-and-fall scam at the funeral home, about Jamie telling his future kids about their Uncle Nicky who they never got to meet.

He thinks about Schmidt, about leaving him behind without being brave enough to finally put the words to what he feels for him. He thinks about how selfish his own love is, about how he hates to put himself on the line and how he takes and takes and takes from people like Schmidt and like Jess who only know how to give. He thinks about how he doesn’t deserve the love that Schmidt gives him, and about how Schmidt keeps handing it to him on a silver platter anyways.

Schmidt is still silently watching the water. The evening sea breeze has ruffled his hair slightly, and there’s a stray curl that falls over his forehead, pulled out of place with a casualness that feels as though Schmidt may have planned for it to happen just so. There’s a shade of stubble on his jaw, a barely-there shadow that’s only really visible because Schmidt’s skin is so pale and his hair is so dark in contrast. His lower lip is slightly swollen from him nervously worrying it all night, and Nick so desperately wants to bite into it with his own teeth.

“Hey, Schmitty?”

His head turns on a swivel. “Yeah?” 

Schmidt’s dark eyes meet Nick’s own, swimming with the same fear that Nick feels building in his own chest. Nick takes a resolute breath.

“I fucking love you, man.”

He smiles, and oh god that’s fucking pity in his eyes, isn’t it? “I love you too, man.”

“No.” Nick shakes his head, feels his hands tremble. “I mean it.”

His expression twists, and Schmidt ducks his head slightly to break their eye contact. “Nick-” 

“Oh, for the love of-”

Without any further waffling, Nick throws his hand around the back of Schmidt’s neck and hauls him in for a kiss, mashing their mouths together before he has a chance to realize how deeply fucking stupid he is.

After a few seconds, just long enough for Nick to reconsider his every decision over the past three months and also be halfway thankful that he’s dying because then at least he won’t have to live with the consequences of this moment, Schmidt’s hand brushes up against his cheek, and Schmidt tilts his head slightly, parting his lips enough to turn the kiss from middle-school awkwardness into something real, and it sends a fucking shockwave through Nick’s whole system. Nick greedily returns the kiss, tightens his grip on the collar of Schmidt’s shirt and presses himself forward, chasing the foreign-familar feel of Schmidt’s lips on his own.

They hold the kiss until it becomes awkward again, after which Schmdit pulls away to take a shuddering breath. Nick lets him go, but maintains the touch of his hand on Schmidt’s broad shoulder, trying to keep himself grounded. Schmidt blinks once, then twice, then a third time before looking at Nick’s face. His gaze darts back and forth between his lips and his eyes with a perplexed look, trying to puzzle out what just happened.

“‘M gay,” Nick mutters, suddenly feeling extremely self-aware of his own stupidity. 

Schmidt lets out an exhale that might be the ghost of a laugh. “Okay.”

Nick nods resolutely. Then he leans in again, and the genuine press of Schmidt’s lips to his own is starting to become familiar, which sends a whole new thrill through him, especially when Schmidt wraps one of his arms around his neck, pulling him closer as he opens his mouth against Nick’s, deepening the kiss into something dizzying while Nick just falls into it, no longer attempting to keep his wits about him. He lets himself get lost in it, in the feel of Schmidt’s heartbeat against his own and the assured way Schmidt kisses, half confidence and half practice, and he could fucking get used to this.

“So,” Schmidt finally says when they pull apart. His voice is rough and his lips are kiss-swollen, and Nick doesn’t hold back his impulse to rub his thumb over Schmidt’s lower lip. “You love me.”

Nick laughs a little, suddenly nervous. “Yeah.” 

Schmdit grins. “I feel like I’ve been telling you that I love you for years.”

“I mean, me too.” Nick shrugs. “In my own way.”

Impossibly, Schmidt’s grin widens even further. “Yeah.” He ducks his head, blushing. “I know.”

---

Nick doesn’t have cancer. The doctor tells him a lot of other things that he should probably be listening to, but all that Nick hears is that he doesn’t have cancer, and it bounces around in his head until it crashes into the fact that Schmdit loves him.

He tells them the good news and Schmidt kisses him again, and Nick lets him until Winston makes a wolf-whistle, prompting Nick to shove Schmidt off, dimly aware that the look of overwhelming relief and joy on Schmidt’s face mirrors his own. Jess just laughs and Cece rolls her eyes fondly, and Nick scratches nervously at the back of his neck, sheepishly staring down at his boots.

On the walk home Nick holds Schmidt’s hand, and the intimacy of it overwhelms him. It strikes Nick as funny, because they’ve done far more serious things, hell, roughly six hours ago he’d felt up the hard line of Schmidt’s dick in his jeans while kissing him, with tongue and everything. But despite it all, he can’t help the heat that rises to his face at the simple contact of Schmidt’s fingers threaded through his own.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees that Schmidt is grinning at him, looking like a kid on Christmas.

It’s nice.

[everlastiingiimmortals]

>HSR Multimuse & OC Roleplay Blog. >Indie. >Selective/Mutuals-only. >Crossover/OC/Duplicate friendly. >written by Willow | Soleil. (she/they | 21+ | EST)

An RP blog ft. Jing Yuan, Dr. Ratio, and Stelle from Honkai Star Rail, as well as multiple fandom and fandomless OCs. Please read the rules before following; dark content is present on this blog!

Personal Blogs DNI!

Note: Semi-hiatus until May 6. [x]

Mobile links below (desktop links available on the sidebar of the blog):

> Roster | Verses | Headcanons | Memes | Tags | Relations

Wishlist | Crush Check | Dynamics Interest | Perm. Inbox Call

>Drafts: 9 | Inbox: 10 | Queue: 0

Rules under the cut for easy viewing: [Updated 03.28.2024 (m/d/y)]

Intro.

Howdy, I’m Willow or Soleil! You'll see that I use Tabasa from END ROLL as my faceclaim. As I'm a full-time undergrad student, my activity is irregular, but I tend to stay fairly present even if it's just as a lurker. My Discord is available for chatting, but I will only give it out to trusted individuals.

1. VERY Crossover and OC friendly! Duplicates are welcome, too!

2. I am mutuals only, though I’m fairly lax on who I follow/follow back. The reason for me being mutuals only is that I heavily favor accessibility; if I can’t read your carrd/theme, I will softblock or hardblock you to avoid interaction. If I don’t see our rules and preferences meshing well, I’ll hardblock to avoid any conflict! Feel free to softblock/hardblock me as well if that’s the case on your end too, but if there’s a specific issue you have please come talk to me! I’m super friendly, I promise, and I’d prefer to come to a mutual agreement!

3. Please take a look at each muses’s bio for more details on their ship status! I am very open to multiship and shipping in general; so long as our muses have chemistry, I’ll likely vibe. That being said, some muses might have restrictions based on their character or sexuality, so it’s best to look at each muse. Please also take a look at the relations tab for other restrictions, such as potential exclusives. 3a. I’m open to having you as a main if we RP a lot or talk extensively about our muses OOC! Exclusives are rare and more circumstantial based on friendship or dynamic; I do not default to limiting my ships. Of course, I respect others' rules on exclusivity. 3b. I am a dark/toxic dynamic enthusiast, and shipping to me does not necessarily connote a healthy romance for that reason. I will of course require discussions for that kind of thing, but note that I'm absolutely not opposed to the occasional dead dove, or even (noncanon) drabbles, asks, or threads where my muses are killed or worse in those scenarios.

4. I openly encourage and am very comfortable with duplicates. I am also very willing to have duplicates interact, particularly for Stelle! I think there's a lot of very fun potential to be explored there. Due to the inherent multiversal nature of HSR, as a general rule my HSR muses are aware of the multiverse (except Gepard, because of Belobog's isolation from the galaxies) and will react accordingly. You will not see any (again, bar Gepard) surprised by another version of themself. 4a. Please check this post for more information.

5. I will not answer asks if I feel that they interfere with plot. Obviously, I’m not inclined to answer asks that make me uncomfortable. This includes Magic Anons. I will not participate in these, so please do not send them to me.

6. I will also not pressure myself to answer every single ask I receive or commit to every starter. I delete asks, a lot, especially if they're spontaneous/unprompted. This is nothing against you if I don’t respond to your ask; my motivation can be rather fleeting and unpredictable, and though I love unprompted asks I sometimes struggle to maintain the motivation to answer them. I will absolutely let you know if I feel I need to drop a thread. 6a. If you don’t specify which muse you want me to answer for in an ask, I may not answer it.

7. Mun is of age, HOWEVER I will not be roleplaying anything explicitly smut-related on Tumblr (though sexual HC memes might be shared for my adult muses depending on my mood). Some things might get a little spicy, but at most I will fade to black. Gore and other disturbing scenarios are more than okay. Angst is tasty. That being said, see the next rule:

8. I’ll do my best to tag potentially triggering topics, but if something comes up that I haven’t tagged properly, do let me know! I tag as #trigger tw and #trigger cw.

9. Respect my muses’ power. I do play some very powerful characters, including gods. I will not metagame nor godmod, and all I ask is that you do the same; that being said, pushing my muses can have consequences, especially for the most dangerous ones.

10. Communication is key! Please talk to me for anything, whether it be potential plots, current ones, headcanons, active threads, etc etc. If you have questions or concerns, please please reach out.

11. As a selective blog, I won’t be roleplaying with non-roleplay/personal blogs! Sorry! If you’re a personal blog and you don’t have an RP dedicated sideblog, please do not interact with my posts. I will block personal blogs that reblog my content on sight.

[medicallymercury]

About Time - Casualty Hiatus Thoughts - Part 1/?

I used to include real life updates in my episode reviews. I think I’m ill and it’s really bad timing for like a bunch of stuff I need to get done over the next two weeks so I’m mainly writing this to try and make myself feel less like a deflated balloon. I guess I miss Casualty now? But also I don’t really want it back because I really don’t trust that I’ll like where it goes next. I have things I really should be doing but instead I'm typing this up and finding a way to look at AO3 on my Switch Lite.

I feel like I’ve been putting off typing this up for two reasons. One, it’s a lot of energy to put my Casualty thoughts into semi-coherent words, especially in between writing stuff for uni, because in my head my Casualty thoughts are mostly just “I’m so nauseous about the pretend paramedics”. Two, my thoughts are almost exclusively about the paramedics, specifically mostly about Teddy, and for some reason I’m worried about coming across obsessive? BREAKING NEWS: Autistic Person Is Obsessive About Special Interest, More At Ten! Like, yeah, I do sound like Teddy is all I think about, because he kind of is all I think about lately. I’ve been feeling more self conscious about it lately, I guess, but I trust that anyone also still hanging around in the Casualty fandom this far into the hiatus can’t be all that different from me and therefore won’t judge me.

Also, there's no connecting theme in this post. The theme is 'things that have been on my mind during the hiatus' and that's quite varied and random so I might seem like I'm jumping between topics a lot.

Having written this post now, I worry parts of it come across very critical of Teddy who is my beloved favourite character. If I like a character, they’re gonna get picked apart and they’re rarely gonna come out of it 100% positive. I love him and I think he’s such a great character who has been a very kind and sweet person throughout his existence in Casualty that’s kind of being forgotten a bit right now. I also think he has done objectively bad things recently but he’s also going through a lot and I’m very sympathetic about that. So if this post comes across negative about him: I love and feel very :( for him, I just also love hating on my faves.

The BBC actually personally attacked me by making Sah and Teddy go through weird-queer-friendship breakup while I was using them to cope with my own weird-queer-friendship breakup. Now, Spotify is continuing the personal attack by playing Night Shift and The Frost whenever I'm on my commute. I cannot start crying over the pretend paramedics on this train, but also you've got a 9-to-5, so I'll take the night shift and I'll never see you again if I can help it and you're not here to see, it's just witness-less me. The overall polyfailure songs are I Bet On Losing Dogs and Cool About It, I do have a playlist but I did not plan to start going on about it in this post. Sah and Teddy are on my mind as they have been since I got back into Casualty (and kinda before then), I don't really ship them in the typical sense except for when it's also with Paige but their canon relationship is so interesting. They act like they're just mates or whatever, and then act about and towards each other in a way that they don't with any other person. My go-to way of describing it is that they're a little weird about each other. I appreciate that, at least until the end of Driving Force, they're still a little weird about each other. Proposing to your girlfriend out of immense jealousy towards your best friend who you basically won't talk to anymore is kinda weird, quitting your job over your best friend doing that is maybe less weird but they're both still making major decisions based on each other. I also really love how certain parts of their series 36 storylines are written as these paired opposites but that's another post. Big thing on my mind is the idea that Teddy can't really pretend he never cared about Sah, he can't forget about them because he got shot for them and (for all that Casualty will absolutely forget it happened) that's gonna leave a scar, he can't ever get away from them and he won't forget their birthday ever again! Like, I can't get a Greggs without thinking of my weird friendship, can he exist without thinking of Sah? I'm! miserable! about! them! They're so incredibly Planet of Love and Wishbone by Richard Siken, except the guy getting shot in those poems is actually also called Theodore.

[The particularly them parts. Let's not talk about it!! Let's just not talk!!!]

On the topic of Teddy getting shot, I said I was gonna rewatch the start of Welcome to the Warzone so I can post episode reviews for all of that miniseries and then I did not do that. I’ve mostly been rewatching random series 36 episodes. I’ve been thinking a lot about With a Bullet, though. It’s the episode that dragged me properly back into Casualty but I always forget how busy it is? There’s so much happening that it kinda annoys me. At the core of the episode you’ve got a lot of great stuff with the paramedics that helps to establish stuff for later on in WTTW and Driving Force but then there’s all this other stuff also happening around it that is just not relevant. I honestly think the episode would be exponentially better if they just let it be a paramedic centric episode in the style of Is The Patient Breathing?. Cut back all the non-paramedic stuff (and anything in that episode about Iain and Faith, we got enough of that stuff in every other episode) and just have a couple of storylines happening around Teddy getting shot. Specifically, just focus on Teddy and Jan (and Gethin) to set up everything that has happened with Gethin, Teddy and Sah to set up everything that has happened with Paige, and Jacob and Iain to properly establish where Jacob is at in the team and like generally. Shove the other stuff into other episodes. Anyway, my point is that With a Bullet is on my mind cause it technically does a good job at setting these things up but is held back by everything else going on.

Switzerland has got me thinking a lot about the Jan-Teddy Wider Family Tree™ on so many levels:

I think it fits into this theme of Teddy not really being taken seriously or being perceived as having maturity by his family. Not being taken seriously is such a consistent thing with Teddy that it's actually very hard to concisely talk about it, there's so many tangents and even like his name is a diminutive. I think it's been something that's built up to this point where he's trying to prove people wrong and make them take him seriously. That's kind of where I think the proposal comes from. But with his family, his anger in Switzerland, to me, is about being kept out of stuff because they don't really think he is mature enough to get it. And I do think Teddy would have come to accept Gethin's decision like Jan did if he had been included. Teddy being seen as immature is dragged back up by Jan when she tells him to grow up after he wants to give Gethin the benefit of the doubt in With a Bullet, and it's interesting to me that it's this like kindness and forgiveness that is perceived as being immature. Honestly, when you get that family together they do kind of struggle to be consistently nice to each other for very long, except for maybe Teddy who has actually been the one trying mediate a lot before. So when he's saying all this pretty horrible stuff in the argument in Switzerland, isn't that kind of maturity by these standards? He's jumping between saying very actually childish things and saying stuff that is comparable to the stuff Gaynor says to Jan. Honestly, ignore this section, I really feel like I can't effectively express what I'm thinking but there was an attempt.

I've got 'Teddy as Son 2.0' on my mind but it makes me nauseous to try and talk about it. Replacement son and replacement mother but in way that is as concerning as it is sweet. I started to think about it in Aftermath but it really came out full force in the final episodes of Driving Force. Specifically, Jan’s “What am I going to tell Ross?… And Teddy?” moment in Switzerland and the differences in how Gethin responds to those questions. Just bringing the two of them up in the same context like that. But looking back, this has been developing for a while. In With a Bullet, you’ve got Jan saying almost exactly what Gaynor said to Teddy in Break Your Heart and then cutting herself off and saying what she had said to him in that episode instead. (Actually, she even said in Break Your Heart that she loves Teddy as if he’s her own and then Gaynor gives us the only direct comparison ever made between Teddy and Ross: “Well he’s not, thank goodness. Look how well your’s turned out…”.) All the way back at the start of series 36, you have Teddy showing up and trying to get Jan and Ffion back together when they had separated over Ross stuff. Their stuff in Is The Patient Breathing? is explicitly about Jan being harsh on Teddy because she doesn’t want to lose him like she lost Lev and Fenisha, but also literally everything they get called to in that episode is to do with drugs in some way. Honestly, a couple years from now, I wouldn’t mind another storyline with Ross if it also involved Teddy. I am interested in what they might do there. Sure, they have like a 10 year age difference but my cousin is 11 years older than me and we still spent time together when I was a kid - the fact that Gethin immediately recognises Teddy when he sees him makes me think there must have been a period of relative okay-ness for the family when Teddy was very young. I think I just want to get all of them in a room and do Jeremy Kyle on them.

I've also been thinking about the Chekhov's Gun moment that is "you know what it was like when my parents were divorcing" from Broken. Maybe Jan does, but we don't. Teddy's parents' seemingly not-amicable divorce feels relevant to him rushing into marrying Paige. Also, I just enjoy the vaguely-still-alive-and-out-there-ness of Teddy's dad. What's he up to? Has he not been at all interested in all the times Teddy has nearly died in the past couple years? I expect that eventually the writers will pull him out for a storyline and I am interested in what they might do there too but I'm honestly too attached to my headcanons in that area now.

I’ve edited this in but I wanted it in here. I was looking at Teddy’s birthday on onthisday.com and Bring It All Back was number 1 in the UK charts that day. I’ve got this ridiculous headcanon that Sah and Teddy both really enjoy S Club so I am very pleased with that.

Let's end controversially, my Casualty hot takes. This one I think is reasonable; I don't like how certain parts of the fandom (...Twitter) act about their favourite characters. There's this sort of outright refusal to acknowledge that your favourite character can ever be in the wrong and it annoys me for two reasons. First, every other character ends up being judged on the basis of how they treat your favourite character which is a very interesting way to watch the show. Second, a lot of the time it leads to that favourite character being oversimplified. Good people can do bad things sometimes. Good characters usually do bad things sometimes. I love Teddy but I can acknowledge that he's been a prick lately while also considering the reasons behind his behaviour. I love Sah but maybe kissing Paige wasn't brilliant of them and maybe that's okay. I think my annoyance about this might be more to do with the fact that I'm not really as interested in a lot of the characters that seem to be fan-favourites over there. This one I think makes me a bad Casualty fan; I would not watch it if it was just about treating patients. Everytime they make an episode about them just being professionals and treating patients (like How To Save A Life), I see people saying they wish Casualty was always like that and... I don't! I love those episodes and I think they're important and really well made and actually fit into the series very well. And I do think those episodes can contribute to the characters as professionals, I often wish the show made it feel like their jobs were more relevant to who they are as people. But if it was always just about that, I would just watch one of those ambulance documentary shows instead. I'm here for the characters, I'm here for the drama, I'm here for Hamlet in a hospital and I feel like every episode being about them actually doing their jobs might get in the way of that. Similarly, I don't get when people complain about the characters doing stuff that "would never happen in a real hospital" because it isn't a real hospital. Suspend your disbelief.

[twistsandtwizzles]

First Kiss #3: Turning Onto You

Author's Note: This is the last story I got through before real life so rudely burst my fic-writing bubble. I'm taking a little hiatus from writing fic but will still be around to talk all things skating. (And also I do still have the other prompts and hope to get to them someday!) Thanks for reading and sending in prompts for the challenge!

Prompt: Mariah catches some feelings and makes the first move on a surprised Nathan

She doesn’t tell Nathan about Romain until it’s all over, her ring finger bare and dark circles under her eyes. She rehearsed it on the plane ride back from France, wanting to sound steady and fair, to allow space for Nathan and Romain’s friendship - even if it’s more than her ex deserves at the moment.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Nathan asks. 

She shrugs. “He’s your friend, you know? I didn’t want to put you in a weird place.”

“Okay, but . . . you’re my friend. It wouldn’t have been weird - I would have been here. You know that, right?”

She does, but it is nice to hear him say it anyway.

A few weeks later, Mariah has to almost physically restrain him from helping her move. It’s sweet, she supposes, but also exasperating.  

“I would never be able to show myself at a rink again if Nathan Chen pulled a muscle trying to lift my couch,” she tells him. “I’m hiring movers, we’ve got it handled.”

Of course, he shows up anyway, with McDonalds for her and pizza for the movers. She thanks him and then shuts herself in the bathroom and cries, touched by his thoughtfulness and infinitely grateful not to have to go through the day alone.

That night, standing in her new living room surrounded by boxes, she tells him that she hadn’t realized just how much she needed this fresh start, a home where she won’t picture Romain at every turn. He slings an arm around her shoulder and says that he thinks the place feels like her.

Nathan doesn’t push her to go back to the rink, but the delighted smile he gives her when she walks back in after nearly a month immediately calms her nerves. He sticks close to her that day - she’s guessing he wasn’t intending to spend the session just working on spins and footwork - and she’s grateful for his calm presence as she gets her feet back under her.

There had been a small part of her worried that their friendship wouldn’t be able to bridge the gap that Romain had left, despite Nathan’s assurances; she had wondered if Romain had been right when he joked that he was the glue that held them all together. She’s relieved to find that this, at least, is one thing she did not need to worry about. That she and Nathan are the same as they have always been.

Except, if she’s being honest, that is not exactly true.

She first realizes it as they are settling in for one of their semi-regular movie nights. He is absently scratching Nala’s head with one hand and clicking through the titles on the screen with the other, one dark curl falling across his forehead, brow furrowed in concentration. 

She is unprepared for the warmth that suddenly fills her chest as she watches him.

He senses her staring, looks over at her. “What?”

She blinks, shakes her head. “Nothing. Find the movie already, gosh.”

“You’re just going to fall asleep anyway,” he mutters. “Not sure what the rush is.”

She tosses a throw pillow at him, and he laughs, and her traitorous stomach explodes in butterflies. She sinks back into her corner of the couch. 

Well, shit.

—

For a while, she tells herself that she is imagining things. That she and Nathan are friends, have always been just friends, and she is getting contentment confused with something else. She certainly does not have a crush on Nathan, of all people. 

And her heart doesn’t occasionally skip a beat when he shoots her a half-smile after Raf says something that they’ll make fun of him for later, and she never finds herself lingering in their goodbye hugs just a bit longer than she used to. Never fights the urge to call him just to hear his voice.

Really.

They are chatting on the bench as he changes out of his skates. Nathan’s frustrated with his lutz, annoyed with Raf, and she’s relieved that she’s able to coax a laugh out of him before he takes off for the day. She steps onto the ice, still smiling a little, and finds Adam watching her.

“Oh my god,” he says. “Well, this is an exciting twist.”

“What?” She busies herself with some arm circles, already feeling the color creeping into her cheeks.

Adam leans forward and whispers conspiratorially, “You and Nathan. You like him.”

“Stop,” she says, trying to keep her voice even. “I do not.” 

“Oh my god,” he says again. “You’re blushing! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. When did this start? This is great for you. I’ve told you a hundred times, you’ve gotta get under someone to get over someone.”

She smacks him on the shoulder. “No one is getting under anyone, because nothing is going on.”

“Well why not? The poor guy’s been in love with you since he was a teenager. Throw him a bone.”

“He has not,” Mariah says reflexively. “Don’t be silly.”

Adam is suddenly serious. “Mariah. You have to know that Nathan is crazy about you, right? If there’s something there, why don’t you say something?”

She tilts her head back and stares at the rink ceiling for a moment. “Okay,” she sighs. “Let’s say I have been having some . . . feelings.” 

Adam nods. “Which I have said, because it’s true.”

“If - that’s if - it is true, there’s too much on the line to do anything about it. I need to have a decent Grand Prix to have a shot at the Olympics, and I already got a late start to training this year because of my messed up personal life. And you know what this season means for Nathan. If I said or did something and screwed things up, for either of us, I’d never forgive myself.”

“So your plan is what, exactly?”

“Basically just ignore it until it goes away?” 

Adam lets out a long suffering sigh. “And force me to watch you two idiots flirt and pine everyday for months? This is a terrible plan.”

“Asking you to coach me was a terrible plan,” she grumbles.

He laughs. “Girl, I am doing you a favor and you know it. Now let’s get to work.”

She rolls her eyes and skates toward center ice. Adam shouts after her, “For the record, I actually think it would help! You’re both wound so tight you’re going to pop!”

She holds up her middle finger as she waits for her music to start.

—-

Adam is right, though she’ll never tell him that. Ignoring her feelings is not a viable strategy. So more out of self preservation than anything else, she starts to steer clear of situations where it is just the two of them. And since Nathan is juggling about a hundred Olympic promo shoots and interviews with his training anyway, she’s fairly certain that he hasn’t even noticed.

She’s on her way out of the rink when she hears him call her name. His voice echoes a bit in the empty hallway. “Mariah, hang on a minute.”

He’s jogging to catch up with her, still in his skates and guards. She turns, waits for him to reach her. “What’s up?”

“Um.” He seems suddenly uncertain. “You’ve just . . . rushed out the last few days, so I wanted to check in. Are things okay?”

“Oh.” She adjusts the bag on her shoulder, doesn’t meet his eyes. “I’m fine. I just have -“

“Plans,” he finishes for her. “Yeah.” He shifts his weight a bit uneasily, adds, “It feels like it’s been awhile since we hung out.”

“I know,” she says. As always, he’s more observant than she gives him credit for. She reaches up and gives him a soft squeeze on the shoulder. “Movie night soon, okay?”

He nods, and she turns to leave. 

”Do you have a date?” he asks suddenly.

She laughs, surprised. “What? No.”

He looks sheepish. “You’ve just had lots of plans lately and you haven’t really said what they were, and I thought maybe - nevermind.”

Something stirs in her chest, and she can’t stop herself from asking, “What if I did have a date?”

“Then you’d be going on a date, I guess,” he says. “I don’t know. Whatever.” 

“Whatever,” she repeats, suddenly annoyed. “Okay, sure. So if it would just be whatever, why did you even ask?” 

“I don’t know. I wish I hadn’t, now.” He runs a hand through his hair, lets out a frustrated breath. “I should get back to practice.”

But she is unwilling to let this go. “So if I was seeing someone, it wouldn’t bother you at all?”

“No! I mean, I don’t know.”

“Stop saying you don’t know!” The volume at which she says those words takes them both aback. She takes a deep breath and looks down at her shoes. This is ridiculous. She’s acting like a teenager.

“I shouldn’t have asked, I’m sorry,” he says. “It’s none of my business.”

“No, it’s not that.” 

“What, then? I feel like I’m missing something, here, Mariah, and it sucks. You’ve been avoiding me, and I miss you, and -”

She kisses him. 

It’s not perfect. She’s failed to correctly factor in the extra height that his skates give him, so her angle is a bit off. And she still has her stupid bag on her shoulder, which swings into his side as she leans into him. But it takes him just a moment to recover from his surprise, his hands circling her waist and lifting her the fraction of an inch needed for him to deepen the kiss, and then she can’t remember why she was fighting so hard to not let this happen.

He pulls away first, looking a bit dazed. For a moment they are both speechless.

“So here’s the thing,” she says. “I have wanted to do that for weeks.”

His lips quirk upward. “So you don’t want to plead temporary insanity and run away?”

She shakes her head. “But I know the timing is terrible, so if you would prefer that we just pretended that it never happened, I’d understand.”

He tips her chin up with a finger and presses his lips to hers. The kiss is gentle but sure, and she can feel them crossing a bridge to something new. 

Eventually, they will talk. He will confess the years that he spent dreaming of her one night when he thinks she is already asleep; she will tell him that she loves him as they drive to the rink on an otherwise unremarkable December morning. They will laugh and they will fight and they will skate and they will figure this out, their new normal.

Today, though, he just smiles and says, “I really do have to get back. Raf is going to be so pissed.”

He gives her one more quick kiss and heads back down the hallway. He turns and calls, “Hey, you don’t really have plans tonight, do you?”

“I better have some now!” she yells back, laughing. 

He grins. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”

[plenilunaris-m]

This is an independent, not affiliated with the fandom and highly selective Skirk RP blog from Genshin Impact. Dark and triggering themes are highly likely to occur. My portrayal is heavily headcanon based and may diverge from canon in certain aspects. Established in November 4th, 2O23.

ONE. I go by Lyria and I'm a 25+ year old student. My first language isn't English so if you were to find any mistakes I can possibly make, feel free to drop by and tell me. This blog is a highly selective RP blog of Skirk of Genshin Impact, heavily headcanon based on canon factors and bound to change as the story progresses. Furthermore, the blog is not affiliated with the fandom, meaning that what the fandom where my muse belongs does doesn't represent me. Until further notice, this blog is on semi-hiatus indefinitely. Established in November 4th, 2O23.

TWO. I tend to write more multi-paras or novellas more than one-liners, or unique paras. This said, at times I might be posting one-liner calls to break the ice and reach out to more people to interact with! I'm aware that some people struggle by wanting to match the length of the reply, just know that there's no need to match the length of my replies! I admit that I tend to write a lot, but don't let that be an issue to you. If anything, as long as you write enough to have something to work with, that's enough.

THREE. Given that Skirk is a character that doesn't have much information thus far and, to my judgement, it'll be a while until that happens, my portrayal of her takes the entirety of her canon and other creative liberties plus worldbuilding I've been establishing on my Dainsleif blog.

FOUR. For comfort reasons, this blog is highly selective and private. I will not follow first save for exceptions. However, if I receive asks about the game or headcanons, this is not a requirement. Sometimes it takes me a lot until I follow back. If you see that it’s taking me a while or I’m not following back, I have nothing against you. Do not expect me to agree with everything that’s reblogged under any circumstances nor expect me to feel offended by something that makes you feel that way. If I see any behavior that translates into guilt tripping or any similar attitude for not thinking the same, it will earn an instant unfollow Reciprocity goes a long way. I’m a very patient person, and I understand that life obligations make it harder to dedicate time to what I believe is a hobby. That’s why I think that are more indicators of interest than those related to direct RP interactions between our muses, such as liking posts be it OOC, headcanons, etc. If I see that months pass without any of this happening, it is likely that I will unfollow as I’m not comfortable with the sensation of follow for follow. If I follow you, it’s because I interact with you.

FIVE. Godmod and infomod unless we’re talking about a pre-established thread is a no. Please, don’t do that. If I don’t reply to a meme or a thread, there’s a chance that Tumblr ate asks (which happened to me twice by now, hopefully it won’t happen again) or that I forgot in case of the threads. Coming to me and asking doesn’t hurt, but I’d be grateful if you don’t pester me for responses. If you send a meme ask and you want to make it into a thread, you're more than welcome to do so! In the event you'd like to plot something out before doing that, feel free to drop by my IMs or asks and we'll discuss something out.

SIX. In terms of exclusivity, I used to practise one-sided exclusivity with me only adhering to the portrayal of the person I’m shipping our muses with and say that the other person can ship with someone else’s portrayals of the same muse as I write without a problem which I’ll still be implementing. However, it’d be wrong of me not to admit that it’d be nice that if we’re shipping our muses, that said exclusivity is reciprocated if possible. Regarding smut content, it'll be tagged with a plain #nsfw tag. It won't be put under read more, but rest assured that R18 visual imagery won't be used, only writing.

SEVEN. Alternative faceclaim: Jingliu from Honkai Star Rail.

EIGHT. Blog roll: @reginrokkr.

[cloudywilmon]

I posted 583 times in 2022

That's 583 more posts than 2021!

94 posts created (16%)

489 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@purplehoodiesimon

@tooindecisivetopickaurl

@angelbabysimon

@prince-simon

@daylightsimon

I tagged 426 of my posts in 2022

Only 27% of my posts had no tags

#ask - 66 posts

#ask game - 41 posts

#anon - 24 posts

#ofmd - 22 posts

#yr fanfic - 21 posts

#yr - 19 posts

#yr fanart - 17 posts

#heartstopper - 15 posts

#wilmon - 13 posts

#yr fic - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#everytime i see them i’m like ok i’m gonna answer this when i have more time to answer it fully and the time never happens i’m so sorry

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

cl0udy_mi1k fanfic masterpost

Guide

Status

☑ complete ❒ in progress ☒ hiatus

Rating

Ⓔ Explicit Ⓣ Teen Ⓝ Not Rated

Young Royals

stand alone oneshots

get it off your chest, get it off my desk Ⓔ ☑

wc: 6,877

Vincent hasn’t called him to stand since the time with Felice, although there have been multiple nights where Simon has slept over. He supposes that while one can assume, it’s not actually evident that he and Simon had sex during those times (even though they definitely have). There was no mistaking the way they’d left early the night before, however. No mistaking the darkened bruise on Wille’s neck. They’ve already received some smirks from the boys around them, cheekily asking them if they’d had a goodnight.

i find myself running home to your sweet nothings Ⓣ ☑

wc: 2,196

He’d always known Simon was beautiful, to him, it was a universal constant. But now, getting to see him in person, looking up at Wille so openly - eagerly - he was radiant. - Following Wille's speech, he and Simon finally get some time alone together. Post S2 E6.

bloom where you are planted Ⓣ ☑

wc: 12,915

Wille is a plant boy, Simon has a black thumb. They both run semi-popular Instas.

series

darling, you're the one I want

1/2 - i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this Ⓔ ☑

chapters 8/8

wc: 59,633

Simon is Wilhelm's best friend, so when he confesses that he's insecure about his lack of experience Wille offers to help him. After all, it's what any good friend would do, isn't it?

2/2 - i want you (bless my soul) Ⓔ ☑

wc: 15,539

Wille and Simon decide to take another step in their relationship - but first, Wille needs to do some research (off the school wifi this time).

See the full post

36 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

#4

If you want to you could totally post some of your art so that I can share it because I am IN LOVE with ballerina wille 🤭👀 no pressure but I just want anyone and everyone to see your beautiful creation 😇❤❤❤

🥺🥺🥺 i’m so honoured ty

38 notes - Posted March 24, 2022

#3

bloom where you are planted

Wille is a plant boy, Simon has a black thumb. They both run semi-popular Instas. (ao3)

78 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

#2

Some thoughts about Kristina:

We know she grew up as crown princess, so obviously she grew up with all the pressures, but as another layer she would be the first crown princess of Sweden ever. The change to the law of succession making the heir first born child regardless of gender was made in the 80s, so it would have applied when her dad was growing up. If she didn’t have any brothers there’s a chance it might have been changed specifically for her, which adds a whole other layer of pressure. Then, there’s the misogyny aspect of it, where there’s an idea that a woman would make a weaker ruler because of her emotions/ that they would be too emotional to leave. She’s probably had to intentionally tamper down any feelings so people would respect her as a leader and not question her decisions.

She’s also a grieving mother, she is clearly affected by Erik’s loss, but despite losing her son she still has to be the fave of the monarchy. She might be pushing down her emotions even further because if she let’s herself fear all that grief will bumble to the surface. If she lets herself show too much emotion others might question her ability to rule. Her way of protecting herself was to harden and thats what shes trying to do with Wille because its the only way she knows how.

I think she does truly care about Wille but her entire life has been warped by the crown and the pressures of the role, and she’s never really been challenged to unlearn that. In her mind, she’s doing what’s best for him. It doesn’t excuse the ways she’s hurt wille but there’s more nuance to it. She’s also a victim of the weight of the crown, and she’s passing along that weight and trauma to Wille because she doesn’t know any different.

107 notes - Posted July 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Wille’s first day ❤️

111 notes - Posted August 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[deiscension]

▐ 「 DEISCENSION. 」 —  semi-selective / sporadically active / mutuals-only

featuring shi qingxuan from tian guan ci fu. written by lain (they/them, 21+). pfp by shishileo (x) ; header by meru90 (x). currently on semi-hiatus!

﹄ her personality was like the wind; fair and free, going wherever it pleases. 

a study on how living in eternal sunshine blinds you to the shadows; on the wonders of a world too big for your hands to hold; on a life that will never be worth the prices paid; on how to fall without grace and find a way to stand again.

personals do not interact! carrd linked above.

you do not have to be familiar with either tgcf or genpact to interact. i have various verses available and will happily discuss how to best interact if you’re unsure!

and then there’s the usual: i won’t tolerate ooc bigotry of any kind. if your blog promotes ped0philia, nonc0n, hom0phobia, and/or transph0bia, it’s an insta-block. there’s a difference between having fiction which contains these topics vs using them for a shock factor; what i look for is the understanding that your fictional scenarios are someone else’s nonfictional experiences. 

this blog is semi canon-divergent in some aspects. none of my muses are cishet. please be respectful of this, especially in regards to shi qingxuan as their gender nonconformity is extremely important to their characterization. while sexuality and shipping are not the goal of this blog, i appreciate and expect respect for this regardless.

fair warning for possibly triggering content: each of the featured muses are heavily associated with death, isolation, mourning, and war. xie lian in particular has a deep and messy history with war, disease, isolation, imprisonment, child death, extreme violence, suicide attempts/ideation, psychological and physical torment, and layered trauma. shi qingxuan’s gender identity and her struggle with being taken seriously is something that’s bound to come up, as i’m not keen on shying away from that aspect of her characterization. i will give a head’s up if any of this is going to become relevant to the thread, but please be aware these themes are present and very much at play. 

﹄ muses. shi qingxuan is the main muse. xie lian and zhongli are request-only. 

﹄ shi qingxuan. lady wind master / the young lord who pours wine. ( VERSES )

genderfluid, transfemme (she/they/he) | ~400, give or take | bisexual | boundless and free

lord wind master is boundlessly talented, lord wind master is funny and carefree, lord wind master is kind and righteous, lord wind master is aged sweet sixteen. truer words have certainly never been spoken of a god such as shi qingxuan before (with the exception of being aged sweet sixteen-- but that’s about capturing the spirit of things, of course)! a kind, generous, and righteous soul, shi qingxuan is known to many and beloved by all. or something like that. maybe not exactly like that. her peers flock to her in times of fair weather, but it can’t be said they would be so quick to stick by her side. but that’s alright; she has a sensible older brother, an unflappable best friend, and all the luck in the world to keep her from going astray. that’s not to say she doesn’t try to handle her own affairs. she makes every effort possible to earn the awe and worship placed at her feet by her worshippers. it’s just, well... lady wind master has a long way to go with truly understanding what it means to have a fate as wondrous as hers.

*note: i default to writing sqx before the black water arc as well as with using she/her. if you’d like to interact with her as she is during and after black water arc, just let me know!

﹄ xie lian. the god pleasing crown-prince / laughingstock of the three realms

transmasc | 800+ | homosexual | thrice-ascended, twice-cursed

a down-to-earth, good-humored young man who collects scraps and claims to be a traveling cultivator. quite knowledgeable on the preternatural and well-learned in most other areas of life, he’s easy to get along with and even easier to receive help from. often seen in simple white robes and a bamboo hat, he’s the perfect picture of humble modesty.... er, perhaps a bit too humble, actually; it’s quite easy to tell he’s not got a penny to his name. nevertheless, he’s rich in spiritual power- ah, no, that’s not right either. he is quite lacking in that department as well. and he has no family name, nor does he belong to any particular shrine or territory.... what does he have, then? compassion. good sensibilities. an open heart. tenacity. patience. stories; lots and lots of stories. everything that makes someone a reasonably good person--but that doesn’t do much in the way of making your way in the world, and it also doesn’t mean he’s always been a good person. but he’s a god, right? so what’s he good for, then? you could ask him to his face and he’d just laugh and say, “Well, I’m trying to figure that out myself! Would you care to join me for a while?”

﹄ zhongli. lord of geo / consultant at the wangsheng funeral parlor

masc nonbinary | 6,000+ | bisexual (taken by @frczenwaters​ kaeya) | god of contracts

an even-tempered and well-learned man appearing to be in his late 30′s to early 40′s, zhongli is the amicable but ever elusive consultant of liyue’s wangsheng funeral parlor. his manners, presentation, knowledge, and hospitality are impeccable.... his financial literacy? not so much. but where there’s lack of material riches there is a wellspring of stories and information to be told on a tongue as golden as the eyes that gaze out lovingly, yearningly, upon the shimmering seaside harbor. as solid as stone and severe as the mountains, zhongli is never one to break his promises. his vow to remember and care for liyue have stood the test of time-- a lonesome, solitary test that he has long tired of. he seeks the company of his people now, the experience of companionship that he has only had the fleeting and bittersweet taste of far too few times in his long life. perhaps not the most emotionally well-rounded person-- but a heart of stone is a heart nonetheless. 

[porta-decumana]

Updates

I know I have not been particularly active here due to other hobbies taking up a ton of my time.  Due to this and a variety of other things, I’ve decided that the following is going to happen:

All fics are on hiatus except The Last Light of Dawn.  There was another fic in the works but it will be seeing major revisions before I post it.

2nd Gen stuff is on indefinite hiatus.

While I enjoy doing collaborative works with other writers, I will be moving that into a separate AU and focusing on a solo-only WoL canonverse.  I think that will alleviate certain stressors and prevent a large amount of anxiety.  While I did enjoy adding people’s WoLs into my works, it caused me a lot of undue stress trying to figure out things and make sure I got their portrayals accurate.  If people want to use my WoLs in their works, just let me know via DM.  Again, multi-WoL stuff can still happen but it’ll be in another AU.

The above does affect some fics and they will probably see revisions.

My twitter is going to be locked indefinitely.  I just don’t really enjoy xivtwt much anymore, too discourse-y.  I don’t know if I’ll continue to use it but I’ll be locking it and stepping away.  Maybe it’ll turn into just a place I post gposes and nothing else, idk.  Right now, I just don’t even wanna look at it.

The good news is that TLLOD Chapter 6′s rewrite is almost done!  I’m hoping to start getting back into semi-regular updates soon!

[villainspeech]

# VILLAINSPEECH : A PRIVATE AND SELECTIVE RED SON OF THE LEGO MONKIE KID SERIES. PREDOMINANTLY BASED ON THE SHOW ITSELF & INFLUENCED BY HEADCANONS, JOURNEY TO THE WEST, AND OTHER MATERIALS INVOLVING HÓNG HÁI-ER / SHÀNCÁI / SUDHANA. INTERPRETED AND WRITTEN BY SYD. ESTABLISHED APRIL 2023. INFORMATION BELOW.

NOW FOUND @stillgrows

a study in: never measuring up, carrying the weight of filial piety, bearing the loss of something innate, navigating the grey line between the selfishness of villainy and the recklessness of heroism, atoning for mistakes beyond ones control, & fire-forged friendship.

note : i'm on a bit of a semi-hiatus until mid-may due to packing, cleaning, and moving

RULES :

i. i'm syd or plant. 25↑. any pronouns. lesbian. i'm very new to the lmk scene, but i'm not new at all to roleplay... on tumblr or otherwise. this blog is new and therefore uses the beta editor. i tend to delete ooc posts a lot. i'm white, so feel free to correct me if i happen to misstep. i’m also a working adult with a lot of interests and blogs in other rpcs, so this blog is going to be low activity.

ii. this blog is mutuals only, adults only, and highly selective. i’m here to have a good time with friends, although i’m welcoming of new friends as well. multimuse, duplicate, and oc friendly, with my usual selectivity.

iii. i will not send in rules passwords or fill in interest checkers. i always read rules, and if there’s a muse on a multi i do not want to write with i’ll tell you if it ever comes up. roleplay should not be work and i refuse to treat it like it is.

iv. the usual content information: i don't condone harassment, but i also don't want people who identify as proshippers in my space. there are some things that should not be sexualized. that said, there will be very heavy themes and nsfw content at times. i will tag accordingly as topic //. i don't have any triggers that need to be tagged.

v. no godmodding or metagaming as a general rule, although i do often make exceptions with friends in regards to longer threads, ask responses, and drabbles. i play it fast and loose with some stuff but, like… use your brain, please. if we don’t know each other, definitely don’t do it. or just ask. i can be very laid back.

vi. this goes without saying, but i don't own the character or the source material(s). the song in this post is intruder by the glass pyramids. all visuals are from official sources, edited by myself with a psd of my own creation. all interpretations and headcanons are my own.

ABOUT :

name: red son age: 1,420 / appears to be in his early 20s species: demon, with celestial blood from his mother explaining his human-like appearance gender: all of them pronouns: any / usually defaults to he/him lately orientation: bisexual, if he has to label

notable features: a scar on his left cheek from when he was a child, very sharp teeth with pronounced upper and lower canines hair: vivid red, wild when not contained in a high ponytail, and often dancing with flames skin: medium brown with olive undertones; there is some burn scarring from having the samadhi fire removed, although most are very faint nowadays eyes: a dark, reddish-brown, with a faint, ember-like glow height: 5'8" / 172cm build: lean and toned, bordering on lanky

enneagram: 3w4 sx/sp body language: when not dramatically posturing, red son tends to appear rather languid: hands in his pockets, leaning against walls and railings, condescending cants of his chin. disposition: dramatic and short-tempered, red son comes across as exceptionally arrogant and condescending. he can be a difficult one to get along with, with his short fuse flaring up even when trying to be nice.

about: born the first and only child of the demon bull king and princess iron fan, red son seemed to be exceptionally powerful and promising — but the very samadhi fire that had so much promise was the very thing that endangered his own existence and that of the entire world. in order to save the child and the world itself, a ritual was performed to remove it from the child and seal it away forever.

some flames lingered, but the true samadhi fire was lost to him.

while the truth of its connection to him and his violent severance from it was kept a secret from red son — was it out of shame, mother? father? — it wasn't enough to keep him from seeking knowledge: on the subject of the fire, on other ways to prove himself as useful to his parents, on the celestial plane, on their adversaries.

there is more coming but i ran out of energy for now

VERSES :

main verse. this is the verse that encompasses any point throughout the canon timeline, from the pilot on.

pre-canon. this verse tag encompasses anything involving younger red son, including possible aus. while journey to the west will be, in theory, an inspiration, given that red son's plot has nearly completely divorced itself from the character of red boy, i will be playing in this space rather freely.

kingdom hearts. one would think that the world falling to darkness would be ideal for a demon, but that wasn't the case in red son's mind. this darkness was different, and red son found himself lost in the expanse of other worlds. he usually finds himself in the company of organization xiii members, given how their power draws him in — but he has yet to ally himself with any given side as he weighs his options. ( will add and clarify things as this verse is fleshed out. )

KINGDOM HEARTS AFFILIATES :

toast: empxrical key: bladestormed astro: solears / obsidianrite / spellwaever / antiaquas noir: burserks / lordxemnas / undahlia / terranorts

[plenilunaris]

This is an independent, low activity Robin blog from Honkai Star Rail. Dark and triggering themes are highly likely to occur. My portrayal takes creative liberties based on the presented canon and until more information is released about Robin, everything is heavily headcanon-bound. Keep in mind that changes may or may not occur. Given that HSR is an ingoing game, spoilers will be present here. Established in February 1Oth, 2O24.

       ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴs     ✧     ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛs    ✧     ʀᴇғʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ     ✧     ɪɴ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ

ONE. I go by Lyria and I'm a 25+ year old student. My first language isn't English so if you were to find any mistakes I can possibly make, feel free to drop by and tell me. This blog is a low activity RP blog of Robin of Honkai Star Rail, heavily headcanon based on canon factors and bound to change as the story progresses. Furthermore, the blog is not affiliated with the fandom, meaning that what the fandom where my muse belongs does doesn't represent me. Until further notice, this blog is on semi-hiatus indefinitely. Established in February 1Oth, 2O24.

TWO. I tend to write more multi-paras or novellas more than one-liners, or unique paras. This said, at times I might be posting one-liner calls to break the ice and reach out to more people to interact with! I'm aware that some people struggle by wanting to match the length of the reply, just know that there's no need to match the length of my replies! I admit that I tend to write a lot, but don't let that be an issue to you. If anything, as long as you write enough to have something to work with, that's enough.

THREE. For comfort reasons, this blog is highly selective and private. I will not follow first save for exceptions. However, if I receive asks about the game or headcanons, this is not a requirement. Sometimes it takes me a lot until I follow back. If you see that it’s taking me a while or I’m not following back, I have nothing against you. Do not expect me to agree with everything that’s reblogged under any circumstances nor expect me to feel offended by something that makes you feel that way. If I see any behavior that translates into guilt tripping or any similar attitude for not thinking the same, it will earn an instant unfollow Reciprocity goes a long way. I’m a very patient person, and I understand that life obligations make it harder to dedicate time to what I believe is a hobby. That’s why I think that are more indicators of interest than those related to direct RP interactions between our muses, such as liking posts be it OOC, headcanons, etc. If I see that months pass without any of this happening, it is likely that I will unfollow as I’m not comfortable with the sensation of follow for follow. If I follow you, it’s because I interact with you.

FOUR. Godmod and infomod unless we’re talking about a pre-established thread is a no. Please, don’t do that. If I don’t reply to a meme or a thread, there’s a chance that Tumblr ate asks (which happened to me twice by now, hopefully it won’t happen again) or that I forgot in case of the threads. Coming to me and asking doesn’t hurt, but I’d be grateful if you don’t pester me for responses. If you send a meme ask and you want to make it into a thread, you're more than welcome to do so! In the event you'd like to plot something out before doing that, feel free to drop by my IMs or asks and we'll discuss something out.

FIVE. In terms of exclusivity, I used to practise one-sided exclusivity with me only adhering to the portrayal of the person I’m shipping our muses with and say that the other person can ship with someone else’s portrayals of the same muse as I write without a problem which I’ll still be implementing. However, it’d be wrong of me not to admit that it’d be nice that if we’re shipping our muses, that said exclusivity is reciprocated if possible. Regarding smut content, it'll be tagged with a plain #nsfw tag. It won't be put under read more, but rest assured that R18 visual imagery won't be used, only writing.

SIX. Blog roll: @reginrokkr.

SEVEN. Art credit.

[patt-writes-stuff]

Maid for Each Other

Pairing: Prince! Kiyoomi Sakusa x fem! Reader

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: nothing that I can think about, except maybe the fact that y/n works since she was like a kid.

A/N: HI IM BACK FROM MY VERY LONG UNPLANNED HIATUS KINDA!!!! Writing this made me realize how much I miss it so I might open up requests for drabbles and hcs soon

Genre: fluff

Tags: Royal Au, Childhood friends to lovers, semi forbidden love.

Summary: You’ve come to terms with the fact that you and Kiyoomi can never be together. Really, you have. Kiyoomi, on the other hand, is very much determined to make it happen.

Growing up as the daughter of a maid gave you opportunities most common folk like yourself would only dream of having. For example, you got to live in a castle. True, you lived in the much less lavish boarding area where cooks, knights, and other maids lived but walking through the lavish corridors was still something few people could say they’ve done, even if you do it with a mop and a bucket of sudsy water on hand. The best part of it all was that you met Prince Kiyoomi, son of the King and Queen of Itachiyama and he became your closest friend. Even years later, you still look back at the memory of how you met with utmost fondness.

——

You took a bite of your apple, reveling in the satisfying crunch followed by the delicious taste. Today you had some rare recreational time. Despite being merely a child, living at the castle still meant that you had to assist your mother and the other maids. You didn’t mind too much since they always gave you small tasks to do and a much lighter workload, but you were still just a kid, and kids like to jump, play, and run around. By nothing short of a miracle, your mother had let you wander around the east side of the royal garden, saying that as long as you made sure to behave, you were free to do as you pleased.

So here you were, a basket full of leftover juicy apples given to you by the cooks and your favorite book of fairy tales in hand, making your way to a pretty gazebo where you could read your book in peace.

“What are you doing here? This is my spot,” a boy around your age with wavy black hair and two moles right above his right eyebrow asked, clearly more than a bit miffed to find that ‘his spot’ was occupied.

“I can be here if I want to, y’know? It’s not like this place has your name on it or anything, And not that it’s any of your business, but I’m here for some peace and quiet,” you retorted, lowering your book and bringing it closer to your chest. His eyebrows raised in surprise as if he wasn’t used to people talking to him like that, but it seemed as if your answer had him lowering his guard if the way he sat down next to you (after thoroughly wiping the surface of the chair with a handkerchief he carried in his vest pocket) was anything to go by.

“I’m here for some peace and quiet too. My cousin Komori is staying with us for the summer and he’s always loud. It gets kind of annoying sometimes. I’m Kiyoomi,” he told you, offering his hand and you couldn’t help but giggle at his matter-of-fact tone as you shook his hand.

You hadn’t realized who he was at the time, but when you got back to the maid chambers and told your mom all about the weird boy you’d met that day, she almost had a heart attack, thoroughly scolding you for being so crass when interacting with the prince. Despite your ‘crass’ behavior, however, Prince Kiyoomi continued to search you out whenever his cousin -or anyone, really- got on his nerves, bashfully insisting that your company was the one he enjoyed the most.

——

“Absolutely not,” the very same prince announced as soon as Lady Yua, the daughter of a wealthy viscount, and her escorts exited the very same gazebo you’d met the prince in all those years ago.

“Your Grace, the Queen won’t be pleased to hear that you’re rejecting yet another marriage candidate, especially not one as well off as her,” You warned the black-haired prince. He winced at the honorifics, motioning for you to sit down in the now-empty seat across from him.

You hesitated, unsure as to whether or not it would be appropriate for you to act so informally around the handsome prince. Your mother had recently sat you down, explaining that she’d seen the way you looked at Kiyoomi and that it had to cease immediately. Upon seeing the hurt look on your face, she consoled you. Taking you into her arms, she explained that Kiyoomi was a prince, he had been destined for greatness since birth. Clinging to your feelings for the pretty prince would only lead to heartache. A few days later, the King and Queen had announced that since their son had reached eighteen years of age, it was time to begin searching for a wife for him to wed. In hindsight, you had a hunch your mother had heard that the search for a wife for Kiyoomi would start soon, and she was merely trying her best to protect you from a broken heart.

However, Kiyoomi saw your hesitance. He made a big show of motioning to the plate of uneaten apple pie tartlets; the ones he requested despite knowing that Lady Yua disliked them- and they’re your favorite sweet treat. And really, who were you to let such a delicious treat go to waste? Especially when you got to share them with your best friend in a beautiful garden.

As you sat down, your heart fluttered at the thought of how romantic this all was. You were quick to catch yourself, of course; those thoughts were not thoughts fir for a maid to have for her prince.

“She can throw a fit for all I care. I have no intentions of marrying Lady Yua, or any other woman she picks for me for that matter,” Kiyoomi stated.

You froze mid-bite at his words, “Any other woman? Does that mean Omi Omi’s already got a girl picked out for himself?” You teased, trying to hide the way your heart clenched painfully with some of your usual banter.

“Chew your food before you talk, dummy, you’re not a child anymore,” He said, trying to act disgruntled by your immaturity. Kiyoomi’s face turned an endearing shade of pink as he fought the smile trying to worm its way into his face. With an unexpectedly intense look that made you swear he could see into your very soul, he added, “And you of all people should know who it is I’ve picked.”

You choked on your apple pie tartlets before you could question him on just what he meant, knight Tsukasa- you think that’s the name Kiyoomi told you- walked up to the gazebo and informed Kiyoomi that the Queen wished to speak with him. With a ‘good luck’, you saw Kiyoomi off as you wondered who could’ve possibly stolen your prince’s heart.

——

Kiyoomi stood in front of his parents, fully prepared for yet another scolding from them. They could go on for hours, for all he cared. He wouldn’t budge no matter what and that was final. He refused to marry anyone other than you and no amount of parental guilt-tripping would change his mind. Besides, he didn’t see why it mattered so much if he married someone of royal blood. He was third in line after his brother and sister, so odds are he’d never get the crown. Not that he cared.

“Son, I don’t understand why you’re being so difficult! How is it possible that none of the eligible young ladies met your standards? It’s completely preposterous, that’s what it is,” his mother ranted as his father nodded along, albeit rather half-heartedly. “At this point, anyone will do as long as you just choose already. How do you think it makes us look when you reject one girl after another, all from powerful families?! I’d take a commoner over this humiliation.”

Kiyoomi’s head snapped up at her words, looking at both his parents for confirmation. “Do you mean that? Anyone will do it? Even if she’s a commoner?” He couldn’t hide his excitement even if he tried and the King and Queen’s surprise at their youngest son’s rare outburst was almost palpable.

“It’s that maid girl, isn’t it?” His father asked, sharing a look with his wife. With a sigh, he added, “Very well then. If she’s the only one you’ll have, then so be it. However, I fully expect for her to be taught proper etiquette before you even think of having her walk down the aisle.”

Kiyoomi respectfully bowed to his parents before quickly making his way out of the throne room, all but dashing to the gazebo where he hoped you’d still be, heart, beating hard against his rib cage. He didn’t have a ring quite yet, however, he had a hunch you’d say yes anyway- if it came to it, he’d give you all the apples in the kingdom.

[mvsicinthedvrk]

yevent 13 starter call! 🎉🎉 i’m going to be gone during part of the event, on semi-hiatus?? (like, the first part.) so i want to make sure i temper my expectations for my involvement in the event even though i’m hype about the concept. i’m hoping to draft up a decent set of starters before i leave on wednesday!! so if you would like up to two (2) starters, for any pairs of characters, please let me know in the replies of this post. i will refer to ur own plot call / starter call for your muses’ power details so i can figure out a place or situation or something. 

Crossed off means they’ve been queued, so no more starters for that character pls lol

wei wuxian: (animagus - bug) i think i am arbitrarily picking dragonfly?? since i think they’re cool. so he’ll be flying around and enjoying the perspective of being tiny. i don’t imagine he’ll cause much more trouble than normal. -- starters for: lan wangji/tragcdysewn; wen qing/tragcdysewn; wen ning/coreofgold; sisudatu/youllalwaysbemyporcelain

martin blackwood: (pain illusion) as soon as he figures out that this is what he got stuck with, he’ll be horrified and try to avoid using it. there’s no one in D.C. he’d feel justified using it on. -- starters for: ella/skyfcll; shawn/grcycosmcs; alastor/rainbowmuses

yuri plisetsky: (laser eyes) oh no. he’ll probably zap something unintentionally, and then be mad about it. -- starters for: victor/irresistiibles; lizzie/drvcxrys; jester/circleofstarrs

orpheus: (small miracles) this is honestly his dream come true. out here living his best life, just trying to make people’s lives a tiny bit better. however, he will probably get homesick for his own magic musical ability and be shooketh that his voice lacks power now -- starters for:  tandy/mixcdemotions; 

pippin took: (geo and vessel manipulation) if he can turn into a tiny dragon, he will. he will probably be a tiny dragon the whole time, and think it’s cool as hell. -- starters for: lan jingyi/coreofgold; tauriel/skyfcll; will/rainbowmuses

wen kexing: (force field projection) he’ll find this amusing at the very least. -- starters for: vic/drvcxrys

ki yu ri: (pathokinesis) first off, she’ll be pissed that her hypnosis and manipulation skills are gone. second of all, she’ll be happy to realize that she can manipulate emotions at least, even though emotions are not something she is generally fond of. -- starters for: rang/lifecherished

noah czerny: (orbing) this is actually sort of similar to the way he’d disappear and reappear as a ghost, but with the addition of it being a cool orb. -- starters for: willie/grcycosmcs; 

xie lian: (kryptonian physiology) his... bad luck is gone??? which is mildly mind-blowing. and then with the kryptonian ability to use the sun’s energy for feats of strength-- it’ll also be pretty similar to his normal martial skills, except this time it’s sunlight-powered. he will probably like to try flying, though he will not be shooting fire beams at anyone. -- starters for: hua cheng/coreofgold; cornelia/rainbowmuses; emmett/rvskybusiness

yan wei: (compulsion) the sudden onset of this power will make her suspicious that people have done this to her in the past. -- starters for: klaus/lcxstsouls

xie'er: (superspeed) he’s never had any kind of supernatural ability so he’ll be curious to test it out, at least. -- starters for: cassie lang/tragcdysewn; zhang chengling/coreofgold

blathers: (waterbender) will use this opportunity to do some serious investigation of fish and local water ecosystems. i don’t think his activities will get much more wild than that -- starters for: bash/mixcdemotions; albedo/dcpravities

he xuan: (unaffected) he’s keeping the way he is because i didn’t want to trouble him any more than necessary so i said no on the form, lol. he’ll be out here trying to stay out of the action. -- starters for: qingxuan/irresistiibles

li shimin: (unaffected) he will probably try to quell any chaos happening. -- starters for: 

lucius: (flying) he’ll enjoy this for ten minutes and then realize that there’s very little point to it, so he’ll get pissed he didn’t get a cooler power. -- starters for: theo raeken/mixcdemotions; shang chi/recklcssabandon; jack/nightwhispcrs

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Monthly Follower Recs

Monthly follower recommendations for the month of March, 2022

All I Want For Christmas (Is You) (ao3) - lestered (clonetrobed)

Summary: AU where Dan is Phil's Christmas coworker crush, and awkward boys are awkward.

arise and go now (ao3) - cityofphanchester

Summary: Dan jolts awake to the gray predawn and the crash-banging of a lorry below the window, and has to remind himself for the thousandth time that the papers are signed, the lease is expiring.

(set early 2017)

Beard - truerequitedlove

Summary: Dan shaves Phil’s beard for him.

🌸 cherry blossom 🌸 (ao3) - natigail

Summary: It had been a silly dream at first. The idea to have a cherry blossom tree in their garden they didn't even have yet. It hadn't felt like it was something that would really happen.

But it was real. Dan was watching their tree, Phil's arms around him, and hoping they would get to see its first bloom soon.

dancing on the blades (you set my heart on fire) (ao3) - kishere

Summary: ON SEMI-HIATUS

Dan Howell is an ice skater in England, a non power player in the world of competitive ice skating. Phil Lester is the greatest ice skater to come out of England in the past decade, part of a family legacy. When Dan is offered a spot at Phil's family gym, he learns what he was missing the most to be the best ice skater he could be.

Or: the yuri on ice inspired au

hot boy summer (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Dan deserves to have this time just to himself, with no one around who knows him, no one he'll feel any urge to impress, no one he'll vaguely worry will recount his exploits later. Well, no one except for Phil, but of course that's different.

i burn for you (and no one else) (ao3) - kishere

Summary: "The topic of rakes has, of course, been previously discussed in this column, and This Author has come to the conclusion that there are rakes and there are Rakes,” his mother read allowed, a playful smile at the corner of her mouth that disappeared as she continued reading. “Daniel Howell is a Rake, upper case.”

I Like Your Eyes - ithinkiphan

Summary: (tw) Dan is dragged to a party, and the last thing he expects is to meet a mysterious boy, who hates cigarettes but loves books, out on the fire escape.

Metamorphosis - auroraphilealis

Summary: Once upon a time, Dan Howell and Phil Lester were best friends. They did everything together, from hanging out at each other’s house, to sitting next to each other at school - but one day, Dan was torn away from Phil by none other than Phil himself. Five years on, and Dan still doesn’t know why his best friend threw Dan away. Was it the fault of the bullies who relentlessly picked on Phil, or was it Dan himself? Dan just didn’t know. So when a chance to protect Phil and get his best friend back arises, Dan jumps on it in a heartbeat, and uses his own confidence to boost Phil’s just enough to make the bullies back away.

seasick (ao3) - Fictropes

Summary: Because Phil is the only person who could get sick on a non moving boat.

Stutter - amazingdanielhowell

Summary: Dan has a stutter and he’s bullied at school for it making him seem cold and distant. Phil is a new student who is paired with Dan to learn his way around the school. Dan just wants to be left alone, but Phil is determined to make Dan’s life less of a living hell.

too loud in public (ao3) - dizzy, waveydnp

Summary: dan is too busy snogging a cute stranger named phil in a closet at a university party to realize the cops are about to break it up

you're the ultimate high that i'm tripping on (ao3) - whatdoiknowx

Summary: Dan and Phil try something new. It doesn't go completely to plan.