#i’ve had ppl ask me why my mutuals unfollowed them and it’s like why on earth would i know for one. and second i’m not getting weirdly +

[skullrock]

with peace and love. please think about how the person on the other side of your ask might feel. sometimes people ask my mutuals such uncomfortable things - like “do you know why x unfollowed me?” or “why aren’t you answering my messages :(“ and things like that. there is a person on the other side who really doesn’t owe you explanations and you may be putting them in a very awkward spot, especially if you are sending an ask (which is usually answered where the public can see it!!). like just think about that please 🫶🏻

[edzasks]

Jules! Sending you hugs! Please eat some yummy, nutritious food! If you need to vent, vent. I care about you and how you are doing.

It’s so dumb. Basically I was talking to this one person (mind you, it’s a chick btw — I’m sticking to men ONLY forevermore after this), basically chick I knew briefly last year, but got to know her these 2 months started hardcore love bombing me, chasing me, pursuing me, etc. We end up getting very close, very quickly, and genuinely she was the most awesome person to talk to.

Then I started liking her and she felt it was mutual, but mind you it was heavy love bombing, and funny enough I always knew I was being gassed up too quickly, if someone is ‘too nice’ and fast pacing; never believe them, but instead of being guarded and isolated like I typically proceed nonchalant, I decided to be open cause I trusted them as a friend.

Then near the end (Halloween) she switched up, she starts ignoring my msgs, and being cold & distant. This is where the chess games started coming in.

And I, a very fucking mellow very low maintenance person - MIND YOU … Started to feel like I was going losing my mind, actually no I was genuinely so ticked by this I was convinced I was a crazy person (no!) While she was playing these games and discarding me. Alexa play Dear John…

Then since I felt like she was playing games, I played dumb and pretended I no longer felt for her, in response she told me she “didn’t find anyone else” then hours later lies telling me; she had “replaced me” and found someone else.

Despite mine you, weeks ago obsessing over me, love bombing me heavily, making bold statements like she wants me and only me, etc, showing me screenshots of fwbs she apparently cut off for me, bunch of gassing up bs.

In the end (basically) to summarise I feel like absolute shit, and being discarded like I’m nothing and all the games f’d with my head, and the sad part is I am good at seeing this shit but I ignored the 🚩flags (knew it months ago this would happen to) because I decided to be blind… Ironically anyone into tarot reading too the cards pulled about the scenario too said fraud, bad energy, bad, bad, bad to the point where the reader needed a deck cleanse and run too. 🫠

Blocked her off basically everything now, and she was still flip flopping when I told her to lose my #, and she’s like “why is there so much drama?” (when I just told her cause she won’t communicate just silent treatment) Then seemed bothered that I was running away since she said “always running and disappearing” (yup!! Saved me from ppl like that!!)

But I ran.

I didn’t like her comment either about how she “needs to heal” (instead of being w someone) yet wants to “see where it goes” w me (as if I’m a side hoe)… lbr … until someone better comes along 🤣 and the whole time I’ve been replaced. Which contradicts her bs, and lie.

It’s a long rant, but I think they have NPD, so I was victim to a narcissist basically.

Lot of gaslighting too trying to say it’s a waste of time (or I am) cause she stopped believing I was bi, or w.e. It’s all manipulation imo & punishment. And saying shit like I shouldn’t be mad. No empathy, just games. When I first deleted her she said she’d give me space, and when I apologised steering clear of maybe she isn’t a narc, she took hours to respond with her shady “ok” … Despite her offering me space (lol)…

I didn’t like either how she lied about one of her friends being her fuck buddy (reality is, that chick has a bf) just constant … lies.

I have no interesting in dating again, and I’m happily gonna go back to being me, myself & I and my emotional unavailability comfort zone because ppl these days are the worst. I don’t need someone to be happy tbh. I’m fine on my own.

I think she still follows me on Spotify / twitter idk why she hasn’t unfollowed me on everything else yet 🤷‍♀️ but the audacity too that she had to ask why I deleted her off snap. 🙄

Like… I just feel sick to my stomach basically it’s hard to eat because the distress (to shortly summarise this) and I feel like a moron, and not good enough.

[bunny-carrothunter]

Honestly the gray area between pro and anti ship is very frustrating when trying to find out what's generally acceptable in this fandom. Like most everyone except like maybe 5 Twitter "degens" are def against pure proship ideology but like, pure anti ideology would be totally against Tobecky, Bigslie, that one ship with Glenn and 2Bs... but everyone seems to understand the whole "these ships don't have to be toxic especially if you navigate it well" thing and even the "toxic dynamics have their place in storytelling" thing/perspective. So yeah it's hard to tell how most people feel about things cause I see so much "no pro-ship thinking/ideas; cooties" everywhere. I wish I could get a straight answer on this but asking individual ppl "ok but on the pro/anti spectrum just how anti are you?" sounds so damn awkward/accusatory... as if I'm accusing them of shipping "gray" ships uncritically or romanticizing the dark parts/potential. And that's not my intention but I don't wanna invite harassment from any pure-antis about like, Tobecky or Scoops/Becky or any of that. And it's hard to hide from those people if you don't know where they are, low-key? They can just materialize out of thin air and surprise you. And I've seen this happen to other folks???

Oh I totally get what you mean, anon. And I can already tell I’m gonna get unfollows for this but eh.

The gray area that has become from its original point makes it hard for me to get a straight answer when I ask too. I think originally the term ‘pro-ship’ was meant to say “I may not like your ship but I’ll respect it and mind my own business.” And then the internet got in people’s faces with “What if it’s inc//st ships HUH? what if it’s p//do ships tho?? What if it’s tOxIc, HUH? HUH?! Is that was YOU are?!”

So now the term has just been reverted now to:

proship = shipping inc//st & p//do

Least from what I had gathered. Cuz if ‘liking quote problematic ships’ that don’t have those two applied are also considered proship, then dang, i guess everyone who ships Tobecky is that too. Because let’s be honest, canonically, Tobey.. has issues (boy literately trapped Wordgirl in a suit and made her go on dates with him without her consent and almost deliberately crushed her to death).

I would say unless the pairing is deliberately meant to be abusive in the source material (Joker and Harley Quinn for example who have no way to be healthy), then it’s usually not the intent.

I guess the reason I like Bigslie is the same reason people like Tobecky or even PB&Wham. It’s about the open potential for ✨growth and mutual understanding✨ that makes amazing character writing and development and such makes the pairing more rewarding in the end. Of course that’s mostly fanon, because canonically, yeah Mr Big is a mess ajhdjkj he’s dependent, quite the manchild and let’s be honest ANY ship with ‘canon’ Mr Big would be toxic, there’s no way around it. But that’s why writing them for their growth is both a lot of fun and satisfying.

Then again I’ve met people who just like to hate on stuff making them sound worse than they are to justify their own awful actions against them, and I just pity them lol.

[cannibalmutual]

i was tagged by @blood-and-breath to answer some questions, thank u sm!!! kissing u

1. why did you choose your url?: the term “boygirl” is v gender and i adore deer. it was either this or boygirlcow but that didn’t seem as hannibalcore lmao

2. any side blogs?: two! @sad-prep and @belovedlesbo. first is for my art to have it in one place and second is a lesbian blog. i also have some saved urls

3. how long have you been on tumblr?: it’s gonna be seven years in a couple months i believe

4. do you have a queue tag?: i don’t think i’ve ever queued something in my entire time here

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?: i think someone in middle school told me i should do it or something. i didn’t at the time but it stuck w me for a minute

6. why did you choose your icon?: i think i went through the art icons tag on here and found it??? i’ve had this icon for abt 3 years now if not longer, it’s by my favorite artist ever and it just feels right

7. why did you choose your header?: i had a Thing about angels and cupids for a while, and i still do but at the time of choosing it it was like a Thing. i just rlly like it still!

8. what’s your post with the most notes?: i have one i deleted that i made that was an edit of that scene from parks and rec where she’s like i have done nothing wrong ever in my life that bootydiaries got a hold of. if this is abt one i haven’t deleted i think it’s some rant abt how frustrating gay tragedy tropes are

9. how many mutuals do you have?: i have no clue. a lot

10. how many followers do you have?: last i looked i think it was like. 3.1 k or something i have no idea

11. how many ppl do you follow?: i think a little over 600. used to be WELL over 2k but i unfollowed a bunch of inactive blogs and stuff i don’t care abt anymore and now we’re here

12. have you ever made a shitpost?: no everything i’ve ever posted ever is dead serious and should never be laughed at <3

13. how many times do you use tumblr a day?: oh dude i have no clue i just mindlessly scroll when i’m bored and will sometimes check to see if a mutual saw a post i made w them in mind it’s a constant thing

14. have you ever had a fight with another blog?: not that i’m aware of lmao

15. how do you feel abt “need to reblog” posts?: don’t particularly care. if i think it should be reblogged i’ll rb it

16. do you like tag games?: yes <3

17. do you like ask games?: yea but i always feel a bit silly thinking ppl care enough to play. i like asking others tho

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?: see i have no concept of who is tumblr famous. i always think one mutual has well over 6k and actually has maybe 200 and another i’ll think has 500 maybe and reveals its 4.5k like i literally have no clue

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?: i have friend crushes but nothing romantic

20. tagging: @fakeblondeabigailhobbs @cannibalghost @ocdnatural @zipegs @thestarvedghost @catboybataille @andrewgarfriend @lynchianfilm @cannibalfawn @hannibalhadalittlelamb @lesbianfrodobaggins and anyone who owns a pink blanket

[taeyoonge]

check-in tag 🐳

tagged by my loves @hoseosk @loversmore @artsyjoons @sugacutie, thank you for tagging me 💗

1. Why did you choose your url?

well i wanted a taehyung url which also had joon without it being a ship name so i went with taehkims 🥰

2. Any sideblogs? If you have them name them and why you have them

oh talk about sideblogs mess and you have me. apart from this being my sideblog i have two other sideblogs: @fitmydaydream-reads for reblogging fics that i like and @roaringgtwenties for reblogging other kdrama and group stuffs ♡

3. How long have you’ve been on tumblr?

i guess it have been around here since august 2015 from what i remember but I wasn't active much until summer 2017!

4. Do you have a queue tag?

i have multiple queue tags but the recent one that i've been using often is #queue'd (others: cool queue stunner, friendly!ghost queue, long live the queue, queue are a part of my scenery, waste it on queue (lol ik i'm a mess))

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

initially i just thought about tumblr being a fun place to be in plus i wanted to read more 1d fics because wattpad was wack, years later here i am 🧍

6. Why did you choose your icon?

taegi makes me soft any day, any hour and this is one of my favourite pictures of theirs so i had to, i mean there was no way i wasn't going to put it as my icon (my uwus spilled as i wrote this)

7. Why did you choose your header?

i wanted an aesthetic header which had all the 7 members and life goes on mv had the perfect clip to fit the theme ♡

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

as for my main blog i had this random harry post and as for my sideblog it's this post ♡

9. How many mutuals do you have?

honestly i have never kept a count for that but i'm so honoured to be mutuals with such lovely ppl ✨

10. How many followers do you have?

probably more than i deserve 🤧

11. How many people do you follow?

600+ *looks away*

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

i do yes lol under #addy shitposts tho i do feel sorry for my followers :/

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

all hours except when i'm sleeping

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

never! i just unfollow whoever seems to me is like causing any drama bc i'm a simple woman

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

if it's important and legit, then sure why not

16. Do you like tag games?

i really do but i'm fashionably late in doing them :]

17. Do you like ask games?

i do but i do not reblog them bc flop :)

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

all my mutuals are damn celebrities that make my dash a red carpet walk so yeah ♡

19. Do I have a crush on a mutual?

like on every single one of you, i actually bias them all okay 🙊

20. Tags?

tagging @rainesay @taetaespeaches @taemaknae @taehyungsupremacy @dinamitae @jjkthclub @butterkookies @kimchitae @kithtaehyung @kimtaegis @blondesuga @mintvae and anyone who wants to do it 💗 (pls feel free to ignore if you've already did this or if you don't want to <3)

[countryroads]

check in tag game! thank you emily for tagging me 😁😁 @rosefinchs

tagging any mutual or follower who wants to do it and if you do please please tag me, because i am very nosy 😄

no pressure to do it as i’m not tagging anyone specific but PLEASE if you are like “she didn’t tag me i can’t do this” please know you absolutely can and i want you to

why did you choose your url?

- me and emily made this blog together and we had been obsessed with the song and even made a little playlist for it that mostly ended up just being our favorite driving through the country songs. anyways we were like YES let’s see if it’s open and it WAS so we snatched it. she’s moved to another blog now but i still love the url!

any side blogs? if you have them: name them and why you have them

-nope! i get really scared about posting to the wrong blog so i just don’t have sideblogs. i also would be making them for like specific fandoms or whatever but bc my hyperfixations change so frequently i don’t wanna bother with it lol

how long you’ve been on tumblr?

- i joined in uhhhhhhh. 2013 i think BUT i made a new blog in 2016 and then i made this one in 2018

do you have a queue tag?

- yes lol my entire blog is a queue basically. it’s q because i hate typing out category tags and it’s the fastest lmao

why did you start your blog in the first place?

- me and em were into the cottage core thing a bunch when it first came out and thus made a blog for it but i have tried to move away from it as a blog theme

why did you choose your icon?

- felt cute in the photo and didn’t know what else to make it lol

why did you choose your header?

-blog name is countryroads and that was a photo i took of some country roads

what’s your post with the most notes?

-i think it’s uhhhhhhh. i think it’s my “have you ever laid with cat sleeping in the sun?” post or smth. idk it was a few years ago

how many mutuals do you have?

-idk exactly how many but i love making mutuals ! i have quite a few i believe

how many followers do you have?

- last i checked it was 15,904 i think but it may have changed!

how many people do you follow?

- 114. i like being able to go through my whole dashboard so i unfollow blogs every once in a while

have you ever made a shitpost?

- of course lol

how often do you use tumblr each day?

- often lmao. i like checking my friends blogs and stuff and getting through the dash. i haven’t this past week as i’ve been camping but i’m back at it

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

- no lol this is a thing ppl do?

how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

-spite and anger. if i was going to reblog a post and then a bunch of people spam that i will see if i can delete the addition and if i can’t i won’t reblog it.

do you like tag games?

yesssss i LOVE tag games please tag me in themmmmmm even if we don’t know each other

do you like ask games?

- yes although i haven’t done one in a while. i might soon though lol

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

- charlie doebt for SURE is tumblr famous. they are my tumblr famous bestie.

do i have a crush on a mutual?

i used to but i don’t anymore! i currently have a little friend crush on a mutual but no actual crushes

tysm for tagging me em <3<3<3

[wonkiewolfie]

check-in tag

tagged by @stray-but-okay thanks lovely <3

1. why did you choose your url?

I just love Chan’s pouty lil face haha i’ve had a couple other urls too but this one has always been my fav (clearly since it made it’s way back haha)

2. any side blogs?

ummm no? I have other urls saved that i like and probably won't use, but not really. I did make one post on a commemorative blog @wh-03-13-2020 but I don’t use it.

3. how long have you been on tumblr? 

collectively? probably close to 7 years or so if you count my one direction and 5sos phase of tumblr. That was the first fandom that brought me here. with my kpop blog? september will be 3 years i believe.

4. do you have a q tag?

i used to. it was like “daydreaming with kookie” or something like that but that was way back in the obnoxiious-kookie days haha. now it’s just q

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

uhhh BTS fan fiction haha. I wanted to read and post BTS content so... here we are. 

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

bc I love chanpool and i did a really cute edit of that channie’s room episode! so that’s what I set it as haha

7. why did you choose your header?

I edited that one too lol with all the ryan reynolds stuff that went down i was like “i can improve this for the occasion”

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

i think it’s this little baby daddy wonho drabble. it’s really soft and somehow ppl still keep finding it randomly and liking it lol

9. how many mutuals do you have?

idk lol i don’t really keep track. half of my mutuals don’t even interact with me anymore bc no one is really active much these days. some of y'all are still cool tho, you know who you are <3

10. how many followers do you have? 

almost 400 :D

11. how many people do you follow?

71 lol I regularly unfollow blogs that have been inactive for over 3 months. idk why but it bugs me to have more than 100 ppl i follow at any given moment

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

pffft yes.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

I used to be on a lot more back when i got requests for fics or when i wrote short one shots. now, everything i write of my own accord is like >10,000 words so... too long for tumblr xD I’m still taking requests but i never get them anymore lol usually i’ll post on ao3 more these days

14. did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

nooooo... i don’t think so. I typically try to be civil with people and not start drama lol

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? 

you can’t tell me what to do lol i’m here for the good vibes only, so i don’t need to do anything bc nothing matters in the large scope of things

16. do you like tag games?

YES!

17. do you like ask games?

ALSO YES! but no one plays with me anymore. all my followers died lol

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

@stray-but-okay is famous lol i was fan of bella before i was a friend of bella so therefore i’m correct lol but also lily ( @fakektexts )  is famous and she’s great. love y'all <3

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

no lol but i’m always offering warm hugs and forehead smooches for all of them lol <3 <3

20. tags?

@rushifer @marculees @shoustar @chaotic-anssiindustrial anyone else that might wanna idk lol

[hobisflower]

✉: check in tag ♡

— tagged by:  @jiminisyourangel thank u so much for the tag ♥

1. why did you choose your URL?

This is a sad story tbh, I used to own “j-j-hope” And I loved that url so muuuuchh, but back in 2017 I was dating an asshole who made me rip my BTS and EXO photocards, so I was feeling super guilty about having jhope as my url and I changed to whatever it was...I don’t even remember, A year after I broke up with him and I tried to get “j-j-hope” back but it’s obviously taken now so I had to come up with this :(

It’s okay I guess but I really loved the other one 

2. any sideblogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them?

I don’t have a sideblog, this is all I have hehe

3. how long have you’ve been on tumblr?

I’ve been here since 2010 lmao, I’m actually happy to be back, it’s better than all other social media sites now like....calmer 

4. do you have a queue tag?

I used to have one but now I just reblog when I’m online

6. why did you choose your icon?

I am Hoseok biased

7. why did you choose your header?

I drew it!! I’m thinking of upgrading it with better art tho

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

OOOOFFFFFF A few years back I made a Sehun joke about his shoulders and it got 2k notes, that’s the most I’ve gotten for original content 

9. how many mutuals do you have?

I don’t know actually, how do u check that?

10. how many followers do you have?

I’ve had 1400+/- followers since I stopped getting followers back in 2016 I guess lmao

11. how many people do you follow?

A LOT I love following ppl, I follow 3,386 blogs...Actually I wanted to check on the inactives to unfollow them BUT I’ve been getting notifs of people who are comimg back like “this person posted since  very long time” and they’re like yooooo I’m happpy to be baack and It’s nice to see ppl you used to see in your feed back then

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

I think the Sehun’s shoulders post was kind of a shitpost

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Sometimes I forget, but I stay like half an hour every 2-3 days

Lately I’ve been coming online for fics before going to bed

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

Not at all

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I’m too old for this, I usedd to do it back then 

16. do you like tag games?

YES I love them but I don’t know many people to tag lately bc I stopped using tumblr for ages, literally like 5 years inactive

17. do you like ask games?

I was never popular enough to get asks hehhe

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I’m so sorry I have no idea 

19. do i have a crush on a mutual?

I don’t know enough ppl now to have one :(

I will tag: 

@valkyriemarys and @hautegirl07 you can do it if you feel like itttt

*sends hugs*

[causticsunshine]

twenty questions

tagged by @are-you-quite-finished-giovanna thank you babe!! 🥰

1. why did you choose your url?

simply put i adore louis and i like purple and it just rolled off the tongue lol, but i also had a list of possible urls i also liked and i had to snatch this one up while i could!

2. any side blogs?

yes i have four....i'm not one of those 'everything goes on main and you can deal with it' type people.... but i have an inspiration blog @prickelndauge (art insp, lots of fashion, cool photography), an art-only blog @swmpwxtch, one just for spooky/creepy content because i'm really into horror manga and scary movies and that kind of stuff but i keep it off of main because i know a lot of it can often be triggering to others! (i also don't post much there but @bonepickng) and one for art references, life tips, random resources, and more donation sharing @am-ref!

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

soooo long i thought i'd be gone by now tbh. i know i signed up in 2011 after just browsing the site through random blogs and tags for ages, but i didn't start actively using my own account until early 2012!

4. do you have a queue tag?

when i actually remember to tag things i have queued i'll use 'i'm sleep queue' because all my early morning posts everyday are queued....i am an insomniac rip

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

keeping up with my interests better! i was like 15/16 at the time so it made sense. back in Ye Olde Days much like now—i really have come full circle lmao—it was mostly just for 1d and then some random tv shows/franchises i just to see content of semi-often, as well as finding cool art!

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

rn it's just a regular pic of louis! as much as i like using my collages or little edits as my icons, you can't see much of anything and it looks too busy sometimes (but also the photo i have rn....i am always thinking thoughts about it soooo)

7. why did you choose your header?

it's pretty! i wanted everything to follow a color scheme + i love embroidery and fancy gowns!

8. what's your post with the most notes?

ok i thought it was gonna be one of my old larry chibi doodles because i know a few of them hit 1k+ notes, but i deleted those in 2017 and apparently now it's this 6 year old like....funky photo study i did of dan howell from 2015 when i still watched him and amazingphil a lot?? i mean at least it's something i was once proud of lmao....there's a few art posts i have with semi decent notes that i pretend i Do Not See

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i think rn 40 something so not very many, although i unfollowed a lot of people i was moots with when i left my last fanbase so that's probably why 😬 i've been meaning to check out more HL/ot5 people though!! i love mutual interaction but i'm afraid of being annoying if i'm any degree of attentive

10. how many followers do you have?

overall i have almost 2.4k rn, but there's a decent amount that are totally inactive or at least don't interact with me so it feels like....a lot less lmao but since re-joining 1d i've already made up like all the people i lost when i left my other fanbase of almost three and more so thank you for actually liking my work and maybe me as well 🥺💗

11. how many ppl do you follow?

around 370 rn!

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

half of the stuff that comes out of my mouth is a shitpost fdngjkdf like my tags are bad enough lmao, no one needs to properly share the bs i have to say

13. how often do you use tumblr?

pretty regularly rn but there are times i'll go completely MIA depending on what i'm into/how busy i am!

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog?

in the past i have had some....issues with other people i've met on here but never directly had confrontation with them? most of the time that's happened i figure it's been one-sided though because i can get irritated with certain behavior really quickly—like i always say my heart is big and open but my bullshit tolerance is dangerously low—but when that's the case i'll just unfollow or block without saying anything?

although back in the day there was one instance (and seriously if anyone remembers this you deserve a medal because this shit was Ridiculous) where i kinda but not really called out another 1d fanartist who posted untagged noncon fanart they'd done of at least two of the boys, and then acted like it was no big deal (like. 1. those are irl people my dude and 2. untagged noncon art?? in front of my salad??) and their friends kept defending them for it and tried to come for me claiming i was a proponent of Purity Culture when i'm not and literally all i said in my post on it was that in my own opinion it was kinda fucked up to draw noncon art of real life people—not characters played by actors! but actual real people as themselves—in the first place, but if you felt the need to post highly triggering content like that the least you could do was tag it accordingly

but i think that was the last time properly so i guess times within this fanbase are still chaotic as ever just in a different way?

15. how do you feel about "you need to rb this" posts?

Annoyed™️ like don't guilt trip me over a post lmao i do what i want !!

16. do you like tag games?

YES i love to talk about myself after years of trying not to show any personality online out of fear of judgement dfjkngdf

17. do you like ask games?

yes! i want to do them more but i'm always afraid of reblogging one and then getting nothing and looking like a Fool :'(

18. which one of your mutuals is tumblr famous?

i guess i have a few moots that are kinda well-known or at least get good interaction within the community we're a part of? also isn't that phrase kind of an oxymoron at this point adfjkdf

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

not past platonic friendly affection lmao but honestly what is it like to have a realistic crush on an actual tangible person versus someone in the public eye who doesn't even know i exist.....it's been so long and i am so lonely please send help

20. tags?

@niallnailme @bolitodequeso @milkcurls @exzouis @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk @got-my-devotion @aliensyndrome uhhh anyone who'd like to please consider yourself tagged by me! literally if there was an 'all my moots' button i'd just pick that lmao and as always no pressure/sorry if you've already done this and i haven't seen!

[sunlezz]

HUGE VAGUE/RANT/VENT POST INCOMING

alright so… this is embarrassing smh

ive been following a rly cool artist on twitter and it was their bday today so i went ahead and gushingly wished them a happy bday, mentioning that we had been tumblr mutuals since the twdg days… and then i went and looked them up on tumblr and realized. we’re not mutuals anymore.

and it’s just like!!! ok that is fine! it’s totally fine and i understand, nobody is obligated to stay my friend and everyone is free to unfollow at any time if that’s what you want to do. but just.

i explicitly ask in my about that if we’re mutuals, that you please softblock me if u decide to unfollow. it’s embarrassing for me to continue to interact with your posts all enthusiastic and shit like we’re friends when we dont actually follow each other anymore. u know??? i have no hard feelings and i will never bear any ill will to anyone who decides to unfollow me no matter what the reason, but fck man this just feels so shitty.

and the thing is, this is not the first time this has happened, there have been MANY mutuals over the years who i’ve noticed no longer follow me, or have deactivated, and some of them have in fact softblocked which i appreciate!!! i do not believe anyone is EVER under any obligation whatsoever to explain their reasoning to me. u don’t even have to HAVE a reason! it’s fine! (and sidenote that recently i mistakenly followed somebody again after they softblocked me without realizing that OOPS they actually unfollowed so i unfollowed again right after that. but it just makes me so fcuking sad, bc i have no idea what i did to make them unfollow me in the first place!!!)

it’s just. the problem with the current situation is, this is not the first person who has unfollowed me without also softblocking me as well, and it just!!! puts me in a very potentially embarrassing situation!?!!! and ig i just dont know what im supposed to do now??? do i unfollow them too??? like fck i m at a loss here. i guess i just dont understand, why would you go to the length of pressing that unfollow button if u dont also bother pressing the block/unblock button as well?? youre already there, what’s so hard??? especially on tumblr where follower count isnt displayed, i would understand better if this was ig or twitter where everyone can see the follower/following ratio and that matters to some ppl but idk!

idk i guess i m just. paranoid and sad now bc it’s like… ok did i do something at some point that made a bunch of ppl decide to unfollow me or someth??? bc if that’s the case then again, that is fine, but please. if im fucking up or doing something that would warrant mass unfollows then i would like to know!!!

anons are welcome to weigh in here, im also going to tag this as twdg bc that was the fandom i met most of my old mutuals from and i’d like anyone who still lurks there to weigh in as well ig

idk :C lol

[degenderates]

r u ok? your discord status worried me 💕

oh yeah lol. im alright. that was mainly from yesterday (well really this morning) at midnight when i was feeling really sad and lonely because the only people I’ve really talked to aside from my family/& ppl in class has been like, you know, online friends? and that’s nice and all but i miss people’s faces, I miss touch and hugs and pats on the shoulders and all of that.

also just this week i was asked to leave two nets i was in (and i wasn’t really active in either of them but it still made me feel embarrassed and sad and lonely) for the simple reason that my blog sometimes has shippy content that people didn’t like. and i get people not wanting to follow me n stuff for that, like curate your own space, yk? but it made me upset to (virtually) get kicked out of nets that i never would talk about my ships in because i know people there are uncomfortable with them. i’ve always kept that boundary, but apparently, that doesn’t matter because apparently, what i ship defines me as a person and that means that people feel uncomfortable around me, a regular old teenage fangirl, and it just makes me feel really bad about myself.

and on top of that, a mutual who tagged me to be a part of her fandom family randomly unfollowed me after putting me in (and ofc took me off again) and i think it was bc of the same reason? but she never explained why? and now it makes me really worried that some of my other mutuals who are in those same circles/friend groups will do the same thing even if we’ve been mutuals/friends for a while and it just makes me scared and jumpy whenever i see a dm/ask notification on here or tumble and i hate that so much.

and on top of that, there’s the election going on and it really looks like we’re hanging on Nevada here (but maybe Georgia or Penn have a chance to swing) and if trump wins idk what the hell im gonna do and so many other people are gonna do about healthcare...like my parents are well off enough to support part of the costs when im over 26 and need to pay for my meds, but what about all the people who cant? i know firsthand what it’s like to be severely sick, almost on the verge of wasting away literally, and i feel so terrified for anyone else who ever gets into the position and doesn’t have the money to get out of it. and that’s only with healthcare!!! that’s not even including lgbtq+ rights, racial justice, CORONA, women’s rights, and everything fucking else!!!

so yeah with everything going on in the world and my own personal struggles with friends (or should i say LACK therof) i just want to break down and cry. im so lonely and the fact that im getting this really passive-aggressive vibe from so many mutuals and nets recently reminds me of a really toxic past relationship i had with my supposed “best friend” and i hate it and i just feel TERRIBLE!!! i want to feel alright but im just so scared and lonely and....im sorry anon, for venting to you. im just really upset. 

[acadieum]

What exactly does "safe blog" mean?

lmaO honestly im kind of surprised it took this long to get a question about it 

but i’ll put it under a read more bc… yoinks..! it’s nothing bad though! 

it’s just a really long ramble about my blog’s origin story lol

but anyways, when i started this blog, it was actually a secondary blog for me! as in, it wasn’t the main blog i was using

at the time, my main blog was constantly stressing me out. i felt pressured to post constant “top-quality” art at a high frequency and of only one fandom in particular - that of which i was really losing interest in. 

like, i felt if i posted anything else (from a different fandom or a lower-quality doodle) or if i stopped posting in general, id be condemned or something- and that feeling was absolutely SUFFOCATING 

i always felt that i was being compared to other artists and that really fucked up my self-worth and my attitude towards my art. 

it didn’t help that people often didn’t respect me as an artist and would constantly repost my work without credit or permission. 

so i made a new blog to get away from it all, and that’s this blog!

i wanted a blog where i could just post about my interests and create art without feeling pressured to post or do art of a specific interest all the time. 

bc back then, id get so many asks saying “i didnt follow you for ___ content so stop posting it or im going to unfollow >:(” and younger me took it to heart and was incredibly vulnerable to it so i couldn’t POSSIBLY post other content

but on my new blog (aka this one!), i could! but at the early stage of this blog, sometimes, i would forget that i have the freedom to do so also.

so, as a reminder to myself, i put in my description that this was a “safe blog” to emphasize in my mind that there’s no need to feel pressure here. that i’m okay. that everything is okay! and that i can grow at my own pace. 

there’s no need to stress about posting art on a schedule or to post within a specific fandom. i could freely just be me, unlike my other blog, and thats why i deemed it a “safe” blog.

now, keep in mind, when i started this blog, i never knew it was going to blow up and i never intended for this blog to be a full-time thing!

it was SUPPOSED to be just another blog, a small one that i could go to just to have fun and to be myself. but i enjoyed it so much here that i never wanted to leave and this became my main!

this blog truly helped me become independent as an artist. i stopped worrying about what people wanted me to post and i posted about content that i liked and i drew things i enjoyed and i was happy!

this may seem like a simple thing, but it took me a long while to achieve this sort of free-spirited happiness with my blog content and my art

which is why i get so happy when you all enjoy the stuff that i post! whether it be the stuff i reblog, the art i create, or the silly text posts i put out! the welcome here was so heart-warming, i couldn’t bear to go back. 

the term “safe blog” is no longer necessary in my description, since i’m here all the time now and i’ve learned to love myself and the work i put out - but i just never brought myself to delete it honestly. maybe i will at some point in the future but i haven’t yet! so, yeah!

nowadays, i like to think that “safe blog” means kind of like a “only good vibes here bro!” kind of deal bc ill usually try to post things that makes me happy or things that would be helpful to others or cheer them up if they had a rough day! 

idk i just want ppl to have a good experience here ig- i just want them happy vibes from here on out bc i spent so long being depressed about my surroundings, my art, and myself so- 

it came to be sort of like a supportive circle thing? where we can share that good loving support and thats why i love supporting my mutuals whenever i possibly can! (im kind of rambling again. but did i mention i love my mutuals? anyways anyways anyways)

that being said, while i am very welcoming of others, i will not hesitate to block and report disgusting people off my blog bc i do not want to be associated with them in any way, shape, or form. 

—————————————————————————————————–

BUT YEAH ANYWAYS TLDR; the term “safe blog” was a reminder to myself that it’s okay to be me and to enjoy life and have fun w my art blog! 

it was on my blog since the beginning and it sort of means something different now, bc i love the good vibes but i can and will absolutely destroy any disgusting person that even THINKS about looking at my blog. that’s all! thank you! :)

[gluttons]

1 2 3 5 10 12 20 22 36 (give me the salt fam)

What would prevent you from following someone?

i pay quite a bit of attention the mun’s voice when reading rules / pages . some people just come off as extremely aggressive / controlling, and it puts me off from following sometimes !  things like : do not follow and block me immediately if you are abc-phobic and support defg-isms ; it’s irritating when i see too much ooc / photos / literally anything apart from your replies ; i will unfollow n block you if you don’t attempt to approach me within a week and DONT try to contact me asking why i unfollowed you …

i certainly don’t want to interact sexist / racist / lgbtqphobic people myself . in an ideal world,  i would also want to interact with all 100+ of my mutuals on the regular and have them approach me within a week of following me - like wouldn’t that be convenient ?? but in reality , people have their own obligations n priorities. people grow up in diff backgrounds n might not have the exact same viewpoints as u. like. idk,, it just comes off as intolerant and disrespectful.  i dont want to feel like i’m walking on eggshells whenever i log in or make a post.

Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why?

honestly… no !!! as long as the chara is interesting n there is quality writing i don’t mind if a blog is default tumble theme w no aesthetics or post formats at all  ( w the exception cutting posts and uniform icons ! )  as long as the blog format is consistent n readable i will give any blog a fair shot i think !!  ‘:/c

What current rp trend do you hate?

i honestly rly dislike the dashboard blog thing. i know its hypocritical of me to say this bc i also succumbed to the trend but like. but it makes things so hard to access ,  esp if i want to like, edit or add tags to an old post i have to use mass editor and can’t just edit via permalink rip  ( maybe there’s a way of doing it and im just big dumb who knows )

Do you prefer interacting with male muses or female more? Why?

i dont rly have a preference w muse gender ??? :/c  i honestly follow whoever i find interesting n like,  write w whoever wants to write w me lol .  but i do think female muses approach meph more often - idk if its bc of the distribution of female to male muses on tumble or smth ?? but this happens w so many of my muses - idk if its how i write them or how i come across as a person or smth but like . yeah. orz.

Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them?

actually nooo ???? i’ve never bought or made a commission from / for anyone in my life so .. sfkafa i am completely indifferent on this subject.

Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it?

ive never been in drama ?? i dont think?  i feel like i generally am quite soft spoken n genial on tumblr dash bc im . weary about projecting my views ,,,,

but well, i used to know sb who was caught up in clique drama and they would constantly badmouth abt other users to me . i didn’t know how to outright tell them i wasn’t interested in hearing it,, but yeah we kinda stopped talking after that.

Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with?

slightly ???  i have had ppl push ship ideas onto me real strongly . i’m not against ships but they’d come to me w a preconception of who my muse is …  esp w canon muses … its not exactly a huge deal bc i get that ppl are excited to plot n ship characters,  but like .  yeah i have.  i’m not  …  great at refusing people hskfjdfa

What would make you block someone?

idk i’ve never actually blocked anyone  ( lol asides from p.orn bots ) . unfollowing  +  steadfastly ignoring them  usually does the trick for me.  shdfksdjfa

What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you?

well. this is a bit controversial …. but i feel like ppl are. too sensitive abt whitewashing ?? like i understand that there’s a problem if icons are deliberately edited to lighten skin tone or if a mun straight up erases the character’s racial identity , but some ppl just use pack psds n when the icons are like. two hexes off from their orig skin tone n people accuse them of bein racist and stuff. like . yeah ok,  maybe it was a poor judgement on the mun’s part ,  but labelling them a racist is just . not cool.

like damn. there are actual people out there suffering from the impact of racism ! victims who have been denied entry n detained at borders, subjected to police brutality, denied their rights to expression n respect in the workplace ,,,,,  like open your eyes,  putting a tinted psd over a picture or wtv is NOT racism oh my god. trying to claim that this falls into the same category ultimately trivialises the issue imo .

[takethlstourgrave]

get to know me!!

I was tagged by @mostproblematic (hi thank u very much ily it’s been a minute)

RULES: answer the questions and tag 15-20 followers you would like to get to know better.

NAME - Kassandra

ZODIAC SIGN - Aquarius

HEIGHT - 5'2

LANGUAGES SPOKEN - spanish and english and a little bit of french too

NATIONALITY - born in the u.s.

ORIENTATION - bisexual

FAVORITE FRUIT - um mango

COFFEE, TEA OR HOT CHOCOLATE - i’m a slut for coffee, i have coffee sometimes twice a day but at least once every day. I love green tea too tho and i like hot chocolate during the winter but i don’t have it often bc i like to make it with milk and im lactose intolerant and also during the winter i just prefer champurrado 

FAVOURITE SEASONS - FALL

FAVOURITE FLOWERS - idk dont have a favorite lol

FAVOURITE SCENTS - libraries, home depot, and rain/wet cement

FAVOURITE COLOURS - i like grey-blue and soft pinks

FAVOURITE ANIMAL - i love p much all of them so much

DOG OR CAT PERSON - i love both so much, i do have two cats 

FAVOURITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER - suddenly im blanking on every fictional character i know so imma say Remus Lupin

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP - usually like 4-6 but sometimes i stay up all night and other times i can sleep up to 20 hrs idk why i hate it tho

NUMBER OF BLANKETS YOU SLEEP WITH - um like 2 and 3 during the winter cuz im a baby when it comes to the cold (i live in az i hate anything below 60 degrees)

DREAM TRIP - i’d love to travel everywhere in mexico (i only go to sonora bc that’s where my fam is but i’d love to go further) and also paris

BLOG ESTABLISHED - um i’ve been around for a while but i’ve been around with multiple accounts lol i think i’ve made like 5 tumblr blogs i think some of them are still up (pls dont ask lol). i think my first blog was in like 2012 ?? or like 2010/11 i can’t remember. I started off a superwholock blog (yes i know, i think i reached like 1400 followers tho) and then i made a random ass blog which was suuuuper cringey and then i made another 2-3 forgotten blogs (i didnt make sideblogs idk why) and then i made this one! i can’t remember my first url lol but i had a friend on here and they came up with spencerandthesmiths and i loved it (even though i was therefore seen as a mostly panic blog even though i was a much much bigger fob stan lol) and i had that for years until i thought about a change and i came up with the current url i have now. I think my archive for this blog goes back to 2014

FOLLOWER COUNT - 2501 

RANDOM FACTS -

1. i used to play the violon but i stopped playing it haven’t picked up a violin in about 4-5 years

2. i wish i could play the cello

3. i almost pursued a minor in music bc i love music but godd i was not passionate about it enough

4. i ended up switching and now im doing a minor in social and behavioral sciences and i like it considerably so much more

5. im doing a BA in psychology 

6. um i have one cat and i feed a stray cat outside and named her and now i kinda think about her as mine but i’m not allowed to keep her but in my heart she’s my baby so i take care of her

7. my first baby’s name is Boo (my sister had her first and she named her Mittens but i did not like that name for her and i was gonna change it but i had trouble figuring out a new name for her so i started calling her Boo as a nickname until i came up with a name and then it just stuck). My outdoor baby’s name is Paws ( i wanted to name her Pumpkin Spice but again it was a nickname that my brother called her and it just stuck i couldn’t get anyone else to call her Pumpkin Spice so her name is Paws now lol)

8. i have rediscovered my nostalgia and the love i had for wwe so im sorry for spamming ur dash or whatever feel free to unfollow lol

9. i remember when i took a long ass break from tumblr i think it was like months long idk if any of you remember lol probably not should do that again maybe but i get bored but um bc i left it for so long i find that sometimes it has unfollowed some of the mutuals that i’ve been following for so long so if ur every like “why’d she unfollow me we’ve been mutuals for years” pls message me or something i can’t find y’all lol

10. also last one i haven’t updated my theme (not mobile) in a long ass time so it still has pumpkin background from the fall lol. 

ok thank you! idk who to tag tbh so i’m going with ppl who are in my activity a lot hope you don’t mind! : @brendonuriesbooty, @bowdowntothesupernatural, @punkoverlord, @satellitesnotstars, @drydockedvessel, @straightasawetnoodle, @bandfanforever, @thismadkatter, @do-you-have-a-taco-for-me, @ilooksoseattle, @just-folie-a-deux-it, @galaxydweebs, @prrttyodd, @xocrash-killjoy, and idk if anyone else wants to do it just say i tagged you lol

and just a sidenote also some of you have been following me for such a long time i love you so much i hope karma is treating you good and i hope life is really good to you

[kingkadence]

Aaa I had someone ask me the same question and I realized after reading people's posts that being 'anti' about a ship is different than just not liking a ship, 'anti' means you think its morally reprehensible or something and 'antis' are known for judging and attacking people over ships. I was using the anti label up until about a month ago but dropped it as soon as I figured that out. I guess the term for just not liking a ship is notp?

Here! Is basic guide to not liking a ship (all my opinions based on what I’ve read, y’all r free to think what you’d like)

Lvl 1 - “disliking a ship”

You see content for a ship, might make you uncomfortable or put you in a bad mood. Maybe you don’t have a particular reason, you may just not be fond of it. Or hey! Maybe you just never thought of the characters seeing each other that way. Most of the time you see it, it’s new, it’s foreign, and you just never imagined them together. With this, it’s common that after a while of exposure you might even like it after a while! Or even just have a neutral opinion. Ur dislike isn’t too serious, you don’t talk about it unless someone brings it up, you’ll scroll, you mind ya own.

Lvl 2 - notp

You see it and it makes you… hhhh internally. If someone posts this you might scroll or even go as far as muting posts or unfollowing. The ship described in one word for u is just “No.” for whatever reason it may be. It might be because you don’t like the character the other is paired with, you might think that the fan base behind the ship is gross, you might just hate both character but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who knows. Your resentment goes deep, and if you see someone post this kind of stuff, you will surely avoid it. You’ll go on a rant on how much you hate it if someone brings it up, not one that’s offensive, you’re just passionate with the hate you have for this ship. You might make bash edits or amvs of them. If a mutual posts this ship, you may grumble, you might say “I don’t ship this but the content is nice” ((heads up pls don’t do that it’s annoying and destructive to content creators))

Lvl 3 - ship hate

Definitely hitting a radical status but not there yet. It’s toxic, let’s just put it that way. You may not like the ship because it gets in the way of your otp, to you it may seemed forced in canon writing, you may even go as far as to say the ship is abusive, who knows it might be, but harassing other ppl over it,, isn’t abusive behaviour??? Lol ok. Anyway, you may have an account dedicated to how much you don’t like it, you will bring it up to people constantly to the point where others might say hey,,,, chill dude. You are VERY active in the discourse tag, you are sure to write your own opinions, very passionate, but very pushy. You may even comment on ships saying “ew gross, x ship for life!!” and you probably got into a fight in the comments at least once. You see an account post it, you block them. A mutual? You are VERY tempted to unfollow, if you haven’t already.

Lvl 4 - anti

This,,,, just oof,, you think the ship is LEGALLY an issue, very morally wrong or you just fucking hate the hell out of it bc it gets in the way of your ship and you’re grasping at straws to say why it’s toxic. (I actually was internally an anti for a while when I was like idk 14, suffered bhad from these symptoms, fun fact) you will go out of your way to voice your opinion, you will purposely message people telling them they’re disgusting calling them names, not even really justifying why it’s bad?? Telling ppl they’re fucked up……… doesn’t let ppl know why they’re fucked up but I mean go off. Anyway, you DEFINITELY have thought about running a hate account, you post other people’s art and content without crediting them, and proceed to hate on the content. Whenever the fandom is brought up you cannot CONTAIN your hatred for whatever discourse is going on. Let’s face it whatever resentment u got, it’s MUCH more chaotic than the love you have for your ship. Just down right negative all around. Explosive, unstable, if you don’t harass the people in the fandom, making them unsafe. (ie: sending gore pictures, death threats, making them and their followers WILDLY uncomfortable) you send it to the creators! You threaten the lives of people who make the show, you are disruptive, and literally have no personal boundaries, and you don’t give a shit about the writing, the plot, the developing of characters. You want your ship, or rather, you DON’T want other ships. To the point where human lives clearly don’t,,, matter to you????????? But cartoon ones do are you GOOD

(Imma do this one bc sometimes it’s okay to not like a ship!)

BONUS LVL - activist shipper

You don’t like this ship because it’s ACTUALLY hurtful and not because a ship is getting in the way (*ncest, p*dophillia, genuine abuse between these characters in canon etc) commonly antis will think they’re apart of this group, or this group will think they’re antis. Nnnno!pe! It is TOTALLY ok to dislike/hate these ships and think it’s insensitive to post things like this that may actually hurt people. I’m not gonna SAY which ships but if you’re shipping a 25 year old with a 10 year old,,,,,,,, u rlly gotta think,, about ur moral compass. ESPECIALLY if you’re sexualizing kids in your content. These people are commonly in discourse, but they voice why it’s bad, they voice their opinions RESPECTFULLY. Because AS SOON as you tell someone to die ur rlly pushing it. These people are here to educate, they’re not here to hurt. They want people to learn and grow and know what’s harmful and what’s not. They might get into an argument, nothing might change, but they’re happy knowing that they’re fighting for people who have been hurt bc of these topics and they’re not comfortable being silent about it.

-

Let me tell you, it’s ay okay to dislike and hate a ship. But don’t let it consume you, just like how you shouldn’t let ur otp consume you?? And if you see GENUINE bad happening in a fandom don’t be afraid to speak up, but be MINDFUL, RESPECTFUL, AND EMPATHETIC!! I am not on board with some of the ships ppl post but telling someone to die isn’t gonna help them learn what they’re doing is wrong. And if you don’t think you can PROPERLY TELL SOMEONE hey this content is hurtful, maybe,,,,,,, get someone else to do it,,,,,,, bc ur literally being just as harmful.

((Also while I’m on my soap box stop shipping abusive wlw/mlm JUST because they’re gay,,, that’s xtremely fetishy,, and as a gay guy I don’t approve :/))

Anyway, take this or leave this, just what I think

[homosociallyyours]

Rules: answer 30 questions and tag 30 blogs you would like to get to know better

Tagged by: @holmezyan -- thanks, you freeman-loving wonder! sorry it took me so long to get to this!!

Nickname(s): Bean, Meggles, Dottie, Beene, Milton

Gender: Genderqueer femme

Zodiac: Taurus sun & moon, Gemini rising

Height: 5′5″ (roughly)

Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: Lately I’ve been drinking Yorkshire Gold or Irish Breakfast instead of coffee (trying to have a little less caffeine), but I know I’ll return to coffee again sometime. I started drinking it when I was maybe 6 or so. Nice one, parents. 

Fav band(s): The Indigo Girls, One Direction, Bikini Kill, Magnetic Fields, Le Tigre, The Butchies, Team Dresch (why are all but 2 of my bands not together and making music? what have i done to deserve this fate?)

Fav solo artist(s): Niall Horan, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Kaia Wilson, Joan Armatrading, Dar Williams, Dolly Parton, Mirah, Jens Lekman, Sia, Gillian Welch

Song stuck in my head: Bebe’s new song, Ferrari. 

Last movie I saw: I watched Despicable Me 3 the other night on netflix. It was...everything I expected. The last movie I saw in the theater was Love, Simon

Last show I saw:  Theater? I think it was Hamilton last year! TV? I’m currently watching the finale of Glam Masters. It’s...ok.

When did I create my blog: 2012? YIKES

What do I post: A mishmash of everything I find interesting. Currently: 1D, Johnlock, queer shit, femme shit, Martin Freeman, US politics, Janelle Monae, other women making music that makes me feel gayer, meme/meme culture posts, and definitely too many “ask me questions about myself” posts bc i spent too many years on livejournal. 

Last thing I googled: Last night I was sitting with bander and wanted her to hear a song from my friends’ band, so I think the last thing I googled was “gaymous ross dress for less” which only kinda got me the result I wanted. Which was this amazing song. (Please listen, you won’t regret it!!)

Do I have any other blogs: Several! On here I have a cheese tumblr @heycheeselady (it’s mostly dead, i haven’t reblogged to it in ages) and a benedict cumberbatch meme tumblr that i used to co-run @darlingdomesticbatch that is now long abandoned (rip, it was actually really cute and fun while it lasted). I have a dreamwidth that used to be my livejournal where i really let my depression, anxiety, and emotional self-harm cut loose to like 2 or 3 other ppl (it’s a yikes-ass nightmare). ALSO i still have a diaryland diary (!!!) that is my private corner of the internet where i post inelegant poetic prose about my actual private emotions in ways that would feel dangerous to do in front of anyone but strangers. if i ever give you the info, you aren’t allowed to talk to me about it. i probably won’t give you the info. but i’ve had it since...2000? 2001? I definitely wrote about losing my virginity over there. embarrassing!! 

Do I get asks: Sometimes when I ask for them nicely. I rarely get anons, but after my 1 day brush with fame (which i think of as 1950gate) I realized that’s a good thing bc it’s fucking exhausting to have multiple ppl asking you the same question that you already answered/never wanted to answer anyway. also ppl can be mean! 

Why did I choose my url: I knew I was going to be blogging about sherlock and queer stuff, and I thought about what really connected those things. For me, it’s the homosocial-- social spaces and interactions that are focused on same gender relationships --that fuels the homosexual/makes me gayer. The description for my blog is “i am a homosocialsexual” because that’s really what i am. The yours part...I just liked the idea of signing off on everything. I remain homosocially yours,   

Following: 720 (and that’s after i unfollowed all the dead blogs. what can i say, I like having a voluminous and varied dash)

Followed by: 920 (this number is...shockingly high, ngl)

Favorite color(s): Bright dark pink and emerald green. Deep royal purple. Cornflower blue. The color of sun through leaves in the woods. 

Average hours of sleep: 6-12, there’s rarely an inbetween. 

Lucky number: 13

Instruments: I play ukulele and I’m a good enough singer to consider my voice an instrument in its own way.

What I’m wearing: Buffalo check thermal pj leggings and my fave grey pizza t-shirt

Dream job: Basically my current job? Though I should amend that because my reality needs to shift...I’m probably never going to be able to do my job full time again. So. Dream Job would be teaching cheese tasting classes to groups of 10-20 people at a time, giving info about the cheeses and how to taste them, how to prep them for a cheese plate, what to pair them with (and how). Ideally I would do all of this with a team of 2-4 other people, making decisions cooperatively and collectively. 

Dream trip: One month trip thru France visiting various cheesemakers and ending with a week in the south with my friend who has family down there. 

Fav food: Cheese. Ha :) 

Nationality: I’m Southern (from the US). My regional identity feels very important to me.

Fav song: Ummm I definitely can’t pick. Nope. 

Last book I read: Y’all I haven’t read a paper book in a hot minute. I just haven’t been able to do it. I even have books to read. My brain says NO NO NO. But the last book length fic I read was Own the Scars, and damn was it good!

Last fanfic I read: We’ll Be Seamless, which was a really great slowburn that ended so sweetly (with lots of hot moments along the way)

Random fact: I met my best friend in preschool when we were 3 years old. I’m even in her baby book. We had a few years of not being quite as close, but now at 37 we’re somehow still BFFs. We’re also both queer and big geeks, which is a nice thing. 

I’m tagging some random folks! Probably not 30 though, so if you see this and wanna do it, PLEASE DO IT & tag me in! (and really, I mean it, I don’t care if we’re mutuals or not!)

@yellinradios @swimmingbirdrunningrock @aprillikesthings @ann-fortunately

@miafi @always-aqua @valeria2067 @a-brighter-yellow @jaerie @yorkiepug

@yearofsolouis @suddenclarityharry @cumberbitchsandwich