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oh-my-may · 4 years

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Bokuto, Nishinoya, Oikawa and Terushima reacting to their s/o wearing their jersey

requested: hihi may i request headcannons of Bokuto, Noya, Oikawa and Terushima (seperate) where their s/o is wearing their volley jersey/jacket and their reaction of it please？ thank you! ♡

I am back from the dead lmao, can you believe? I know it’s hard to, but in a brilliant moment this week I suddenly had the urge to write something haikyuu related again soooo... this happened. Hope I didn’t forget how to write this stuff, it’s been a few weeks. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Also I don’t think I’ll be back with posting regularly again, because there’s still a shit ton of other things coming my way this month, but maybe afterwards it’ll be better again? Can’t promise you, but I really hope so, because I also can not WAIT for the second part of season 4!!

Bokuto Kotarou:

You really wanted to be on time today. Really really badly. You knew how important it was for your boyfriend, for his team. It was one of the most important matches of their career. They had spent the last months solely training and practicing for this day. And now here you were, missing almost all of it. Just because of the stupid rain, stupid traffic, stupid crowds.

You were soaking wet by the time you arrived at the big gym, droplets of water dripping all over the floor as you ran through the halls, following the echoing sounds of shouts and a ball bouncing off the floor.

You coughed wildly as you opened the squeaking door to the game hall, water still running down your wet hair, creating tiny puddles all over the floor, but you didn’t notice the critical looks from other people standinmg on the sidelines. As soon as you were blinded by the bright stadium lights, your eyes flew across the hall, trying to find the one individual you were here for. You expected Bokuto to stand somewhere on the field, maybe near the net, eager to punch a ball and spike it across it to score. But you were surprised to find him sitting on the bench, head drooping, his hair all over the place. You couldn’t even see his face, but his posture told you everything you needed to know about his current situation. Even though the team was winning, Bokuto didn’t feel like it at all.

Immediately you gulped and took off your jacket, trying to find a way through the crowd of people standing around. You raised your hand and called his name a couple of times, but it was Akaashi who noticed you first. His eyebrows perked up in surprise and heasked his coach to ask for a time out in the game. You quickly ran over to him, but he didn’t give you no time to speak. “I’m so glad you’re finally here. We already made up scenarios for what might happen if you don’t show up, but this is really good. And you even-” He step away and looks down at your body, where one of Bokuto’s jerseys was hanging off your shoulders. Usually you never wore his training clothes, at least not when he was around, but today felt special, as it was an important match. “Perfect.” Akaashi mumbles to himself before stepping away even further and shouting: “Bokuto.san! Look!”

The white-black head shoots up in an instant at the loud mention of his name and he looks around confused for a moment before his eyes find yours and you see a spark going off in his eyes, even from the distance between you. He jumps up in no time once he sees what you’re wearing and suddenly he’s bouncing around the coach, begging him to end the break because “My baby is here!! Coach do you see them?? I need to show them my best!! The yeven wear my jersey, coach!”

As soon as he gets on field he makes a point and then points at you. You laugh as his energy restores itself immediately after seeing you and let me tell you, when the match is over no one can hold him back from tackling you down and embracing you with the biggest, tightest and cuddliest hug you’ve ever gotten. Yes, your presence at games motivates him. But Akaashi suggests than from now on you should also wear the jersey, because there was something else in his game after he saw you wearing it.

In the end, you’ll find yourself wearing the jersey basically all the time you see Bokuto, because he asks you to and it gives him the biggest, happiest smile you’ve ever seen on him :))

Nishinoya Yuu:

You yawned once again as you checked the time on your phone, rolling your eyes after seeing how early exactly it was. Definitely not your time of the day. Especially not on a saturday.

You couldn’t stop a pout from forming on your lips when you got off the train and looked around, having to assert that it was raining a bit. So you sighed in defeat and searching around in the bag you were supposed to bring your boyfriend to practice, because he forgot it. You found his training jacket and declared it good enough to shield you from the rain until you arrived at the gym. Plus, it smelled like him, so you counted that at least one good thing this morning. It was also warmer than you expected.

Still, ittook you longer than usual to arrive at the boy-filled gym. You admired their motivation and enthusiasm this early in the morning, as you were able to hear their energized calls across the entire school campus. You sighed with a smile as you recognized what could only be the eager voice of Nishinoya, doing his all too familiar rolling thunder chant.

Just about some minutes later you arrived in the alley in front of the gym and found coach ukai leaning in the door frame, a cigarette hanging from his mouth and his eyes closed until he heard your figure approaching. It took him exactly one second to realoze the situation and then he turned around to call for Noya, whom arrived in front of you in no time, pushing his unimpressed coach aside.

“Y/N~! You’re finally here! Thanks for brining my stuff! Now come in, I need to show you my new reiceive move, even Tsukishima thinks its cool!” You just nod and get in the warm hall, following his urgent gestures. He doesn’t even seem to notice what you’re wearing as he takes his bag from your bags. At least not until Hinata points it out.

“Noya-san! Your girlfriend/boyfriend is wearing youir jacket! That is so cooool!” he says with big eyes and immediately pays for it as he misses a ball and takes it right to the head.

Nishinoya looks up in question into Hinata’s direction, as though his brain was recreating what the younger boy just said to him. Then his gaze slowly moves torwards you and his eyes wander down to where his black training jacket still hung from your shoulders, now a bit wet from the rain.

Kiyoko was by your side in no time as you watched Noya’s whole embrace glow at your sight, the realization in his eyes growing bigger and bigger as his hands formed excited fists next to his happy face. “The jacket is kinda wet, Y/N. If you could take it off I’ll hang it somewhere and-”

“NO!” Nishinoya is at your side so fast you barely noticed how he moved, now putting his arms on your shoulders in a protective manner, already turning your body away from a very confused Kiyoko. “No, no, thank you Kiyoko, but they’re totally fine, we’re all good. It will have dried in no time! Especially with our bodies radiating so much heat.” And with those words he steps closer to you and embraces you in his warm arms, nuzzling his face into the fabric of his own jacket. “I’ve always been a fan of our uniform, but this kinda just makes it a hundred times better.” You can hear him mumbling and smile, as you press him even closer to you.

He asks you to stay and he definitely slays these new moves he just leanred simply because you’re there, looking all adorable in his training jacket. Please do not even think about taking it off, because Noya will not stop bragging to the rest of the boys, from now on until forever.

Oikawa Tooru:

It was normal that Tooru was usually a bit late to dates and other kinds of meetups. He was always quick to forget the world around him when he was at practice, so you were used to waiting for him. In the beginning of your relationship it got you frustrated quickly, but now you got used to it, because normally Oikawa made up for it with a lot of cuddles and great food.

But today was unusual. Tooru was always on time when you met up at his place after school or practice. Of course you showed up earlier and decided tro wait on the front porch so you could surprise and greet him when he would arrive. But his mother was quick to notice you sitting on the steps and welcomed you in and you found the way into his room on your own.

More minutes passed and you found yourself bored, but especially wondering where he was. You were about to text him another message when you saw that he had just read the messages and sent you a quick emoji to tell you he was on his way. You smiled, knowing that it would now take him at least another 20 minutes before he would show up because he now felt bad and got something at the grocery store for you.

So you got up again and looked around the all too familiar room, eventually ending up in front of his wardrobe and rummaging through it. A warm piece of clothing then fell in your hands almost naturally and you smiled down on it, not hesitating a single second to put it on.

Oikawa eventualy showed up a bit earlier than you expected him and you turned around in surprise not too long after as he rips open the door and practically collapses into your arms. “I’m so sorry Y/N I was already on the way when you texted me and-” He inhales and then stops abruptly, leaning back with a questioning look on his face. Realization hits him just a second laterand all the exhaustion leaves his face in the matter of a second and is replaced with a smug smile, though you can see the softness in his eyes. “Did you miss me this much, Y/N? You know, next time just visit me right at practice in the gym hall, wearing exactly this, and I’ll never be late to anything ever again.”

And he really isn’t. Instead, the rest of his team just groans displeased when you show up at practice because they know he will never shut up about it

Terushima Yuuji:

Going to games with the rest of the team and accompanying them to cheer them on was one of your most favorite things in the world, especially since you were in a relationship with Terushima. The boys always were so energized and eager to play, you wouldn’t wanna miss a single day.

But today was different. Some of the team members got sick on the bus ride to the game and now the energy of the team was a complete different one. You could just press yourself tighter against your boyfriend as the libero of the team got a bit green in the face and seemed to loose control over his gag reflex as he covered his face with a bag. That’s the least he could do, you think, but you can’t hold back from being disgusted either way. You were just hoping that whatever was getting around didn’t stick on you or Terushima, let alone enough members that they couldn’t play today.

However, something had to happen. Right before they arrived the bus took a sharp curve and the bag the person next to you in the bus was holding, wavered dangerously and you didn’t have enough time to get out of the way before its content spilled all over your jacket and you couldn’t help but cry out loud as your boyfriend started to laugh.

Misaki, the team’s manager, scolded him for it as you were busy complaining. She made him pay for his lack of empathy by handing you his bag with clothes for you to change as soon as you arrived. You took it with a dark look into his direction and took the first shirt that fell into your hands - his jersey.

When you found the group of yellow jackets again, no one seemed to take notice of you at first. Until Yuuji showed up next to you with the fattest smile on his face. “Almost mistook you for Misaki. Now you’re a real part of the team, Y/N!” Suddenly he starts jumping around all excited, pointing at you while calling all the others and sharing the news.

Anyways, for the rest of the day he will NOT stop staring at you. Can’t go 5 minutes on the field without his eyes wandering over to you, resulting in the team losing some points. At the same time, he feels better than ever to win this match and to be honest, their opponent has a hard time trying to catch all the balls flying their way.

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mhento · 3 years

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Jaehyun - Distortion

Genre : college!au || angst, fluff, smut

Paring: Jaehyun x female!reader

Word count: 8,6k

Warning: swearing, graphic smut/ sexual themes, mentioning of alcohol

Summary: Your life drastically changed after you met the boyfriend of your friend Carly and his friends.

A/N: I post this after one or two years in my drafts. So hope you like it and remember I did not re-read this, so there may be some grammar mistakes.

Lmao I suck at descriptions. So please don’t mind my nonsense I wrote there. Hope you have fun reading this. 😊💕 @bunniglow

It was a usual day in college. You were seated in the front row of the lecture hall. There wasn't much to say about you. You were just an ordinary girl. Well you heard other people say you were a nerd but that wasn't really you. They said those things because you always sat in the front row, hadn't a lot of friends and sat in the library when you weren't at your apartment or at your workplace.

You were a barista in a cafe near your college. Most of the people who came to get a drink were students. At first you found it good because they weren't much people who had a huge age gap. But after some time it got really annoying. Most of the people who ordered were rude. They had an attitude that made you ponder how they were treated at home to be this disrespectful. Customers that weren't students were nice, sometimes too nice. You hadn't anything against talking with a customer when you had time but you definitely were against their flirting attempts. The only thing they created was uncomfortableness. So you rushed to get them out of your view which was kind of hard sometimes. Overall you didn't like your job much but it was your only source of money and they paid well, so you didn't want to complain.

The things students were thinking about you were false prejudices. You sat in the front row because you didn't want to see other students in front of you. You wanted to have the least contact with them. The front row could secure you this. You weren't afraid of others but you just simply hadn't any motivation to talk to any person about things you considered as indifferent. This was also the reason why you had barely friends. The only friend you had was a girl you met on your first day in your first semester who introduced herself as Charlotte or Charly as she wants to be called like this.You actually didn't want to talk to her at first but she was so persistent that in the end you gave in. After your first talk with her you learned that she was also your roommate. You couldn't have been happier. You had guessed you would get the worst roommate.

She definitely wasn't the best roomate. She was the reason why you spent so little time in the apartment. She had a boyfriend and whenever he came over you were out of view after you learned it the hard way. The first time you thought it would be okay to sit in your room and learn for the upcoming exams but you were proven wrong. You didn't know they both would be this loud. So you had to take your earphones in. Even with the music in full volume, you couldn't veneer their voices. So you gave up and walked out of the door. Since then you avoided being in the apartment when he was present. But he was there most of the time so you just had the library as an escape.

As you sat in the front row and draw on the cover of your block, gasped could be heard. So you lifted your head to see what made people so shocked. A male student stood in the door frame and he looked like a rich kid who gets spoiled from his parents frequently. He had a ripped blue jeans and a grey polo shirt with a denim jacket over on. His shoes were from an expensive sport label. They were black with a dark blue hashtag on the sides. He had a watch on that was way more expensive than anything that belonged to you. His hair which was dark brown was styled back. He looked through the rows and halted when he saw you. He locked eyes with you and a small smile appeared on his handsome face before he started to walk to the back row.

Charly suddenly came from behind you and sat down next to you. You didn't question her why she was sitting behind you but you were definitely confused.

"Oh my gosh Y/N. He looked at you and he even smiled. You're soooo lucky." Your friend said with excitement and a huge smile on her face.

"What? Whom are you referring to?"

"Girl are you serious?" She deadpanned. "Jung Jaehyun just looked at you. Fucking Jung Jaehyun."

"Jung who? Who is this?"

Her smile dropped and she seemed to get a little annoyed.

"Jung Jaehyun. The hot guy that smiled at you like a minute ago." When she saw that you were still a little confused she added. "You know, the guy with the expensive clothes on."

"Ohh you mean the rich kid. Ahh yeah uhm what's with him? He can look at anybody he wants to. Maybe he saw something on my face or so."

She gave you a disapproving look but before she could speak again the professor came and the lecture began.

Not even five minutes into the lecture and you were getting bored. You just wanted to sleep. But this didn't seem like a good idea when you were in front of the prof. You didn't want him to think his lecture was uninteresting so you came to the conclusion to just continue your drawing.

When it finally ended you were the first out of the hall and went straight to the cafeteria. You were starving so much because you couldn't get to eat in the morning. You set an alarm on your phone and went to sleep but you forgot to charge your phone over the night. So the battery of your phone died and with that your alarm wasn't going to give any tone. You were woken up by Charly in the morning. She was already dressed and ate something. She thought you were already gone but heard you mumbling something so she came to wake you. You were truly thankful to her. If she wasn't there, you would have been in trouble.

You were the first to arrive in the cafeteria. The lady behind the counter already knew what you were going to buy. In the time you were walking to the counter, the old lady already had your order finished.

"Y/N nice to see you again. You weren't here for quiet a time." The old lady kinda made a pouting face and that brought both of you to laugh.

"I'm sorry. I was just kinda busy. But I promise I'll be here more often in the future. And thank you for finishing it up before I even arrived." You gave her a thumbs up and as you saw the people gathering in the cafeteria you quickly said your leave and made your way to the exit.

But before you left you saw Jaehyun shortly looking at you. You didn't gave it much of a thought but it stil didn't go unnoticed.

You sat on the rooftop and waited for Charly. For the first time she said she would bring her boyfriend with her. You didn't know what to say and you were kind of nervous.

You bit in your salami sandwich and enjoyed the view. You liked the rooftop a lot. You found yourself always interested in your surrounding. You wanted to take pictures of old houses or just a street full of people in the shopping area. The look down from the roof was facinating everytime you went there. The people going to their different lectures. You could already tell who was in his first semester and who wasn't. The people in their first semesters were kind of confused where they had to go. When you thought back to the time when you were in your first semester it was the same for you. Even after half a year you didn't knew what building you had to enter. A good thing was that Charly was there for you. And it was kind of strange that she always knew where they had to go. But you didn't complain.

Loud voices brought you back to reality. Even if Charly was coming with her boyfriend, they were too many voices...too many male voices. You turned around and saw your friend with 5 guys around her.

When she saw you looking at her she greeted you. The guys stopped talking and the attention was now on you. They were all really good looking and also had expensive things on. You recognized Jaehyun among them.

The first person that talked was a really tall guy. He had black hair and his arm was around Charly's waist. So he had to be her boyfriend or other ways it would have been odd. "Hey, I'm Johnny. I'm Charly's boyfriend. Nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you." He said smiling.

Charly prickled him in the side. She rolled her eyes at him and then turned back to you. "He says it like it was something bad we talked about. But dont worry, we just talked about good things." She winked at you and you couldn't contain a laugh.

"It's fine. I don't even know what you could say about me. I mean, I'm not that interesting." You said with a shrug but still with a smile plastered on your face. If Jaehyun wouldn't stand next to Johnny, you would've missed the frown on his face. It didn't last long and that made unsure. Maybe you just imagined it?

The next to speak was a guy with red hair. He wasn't as tall as Johnny but taller than you. You didn't know why but he gave you the feeling as if he was the leader of the clique. Could you say leader? But like the person that arranged most of the meetings outside the college. "I'm Taeyong. Nice to meet you." He was really polite as he gave you his hand to shake. "I mean I don't know if you already know my name but I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you too." You said with a slighty timid attitude.

You didn't know why you were shy all of a sudden. But this was your first time to speak to so many people. It made you nervous as hell. You just didn't know why this feeling came only now.

A guy with dark hair spoke next. He kind of reminded you of a bunny. A really cute bunny to that. "I'm Doyoung." He came and gave you a hug. It took you off guard and you seemed to look as surprised as you felt because Doyoung apologized as soon as he saw your face. "I'm always like this. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable." "What? No you didn't made me feel uncomfortable. I was just surprised. That's all. No need to apologize for your kindness." You briskly responded. This time you saw Jaehyun lifting an eyebrow at you. You quickly looked away from him and at ten only person you dodmt know the name of yet.

He didn't look like the other guys but still handsome. Your gut feeling was right and he introduced himself as Yuta. He came from Japan.

"Oh really you're from Japan? That's cool. I've always wanted to go there but I didn't had enough time or money to do that." You exclaimed happily.

"Hey if you ever go there just message me on Instagram and I'll give you a tour around." You nodded and smiled at this.

This caused an unhappy look on Jaehyun's face and you weren't sure anymore if you even wanted to be introduced to him. In this short time you saw him. He looked more pissed than happy. Didn't he smile at you hours ago? Why would he be like this then?

Even after a moment of silence and all eyes on Jaehyun, he hadn't said anything. Just looked at you. Which pissed you more off. As everyone could see the tension between you two, Taeyong decided to speak up. "So uhm this is Jaehyun. Well normally he isn't like this and actually the most hyper of us but today he seems off." Jaehyun shot a glare at Taeyong but still remained silent.

After uncomfortable silence you all decided to talk about useless stuff. You actually got really good along with Yuta and Doyoung. Between your conversations with them you felt your eyes always looking at Jaehyun. Even if he didn't say a word to you till now, he did seem to wake your interests. But you just shrugged it off as he didn't show any signs.

You learned a whole lot about them. They are called RSB which means 'Rich Since Birth'. Out of their pronunciation you knew they didn't like that name. A lot of people think they got to this university just because of money and that their grades are bought. They were also known as the prettiest group of friends on campus. Despite the number of people that hated them, they were a lot more that liked them. Liked them way too much. They got a lot of love confessions. Heck how old were the people who confessed? They weren't in high school anymore. They should know better. You never really understood people who confessed their love to someone who they barely knew.

You exchanged numbers with almost everyone there. Jaehyun was the only person you didn't feel to get quite along with and this wasn't how you wished it would be. He didn't even say bye to you and just disappeared from your view.

You said your goodbye to everyone else and went to your lecture. It was the first time you weren't one of the first people to arrive but one of the last. Thus there wasn't a seat available in the front row. You had to go to the middle. At first you felt uncomfortable but it got better with time. You looked around and saw Jaehyun in the front row. You probably scoffed too loud and also glared too obviously at Jaehyun as everyone was now looking at you two. He seemed to notice the unwanted attention on him and turned around to see you glaring at him. He still had this annoying look and this made you seemingly insecure as you took your back and exit the room right before the prof came.

For the rest of the day you just sat on your bed and read a book. You didn't really care about what you read and you also didn't concentrate while you read but you needed something to bring you on other thoughts. Tomorrow would be more miserable than today because you knew most of the people were going to talk about you and Jaehyun and what ifs could be between you two.

When Carly arrived she also asked you holes in your stomach. You said that you never saw him in the front row before and just on the day you couldn't sit in the front he sits there. Like he was provoking you. She responded, you thought too much into it and it probably wasn't on purpose. Moreover it was just a seat so what was the problem? And she was right. What was your problem to even begin with?

After almost a week the rumors about you didn't stop. You thought that people would have been bored after not being fed with more stuff but you were wrong. It was Jaehyun everyone was talking about. So this couldn't last just one week. It had to be longer and it annoyed you a lot. Not to your surprise Jaehyun ignored you. When he didn't ignore you he sent you glares over the room. You knew it was your fault but what could you do? The damage was wrought. The rumors were from Y/N just wanted attention from him to Y/N is pregnant with Jaehyun's child. Sometimes you laughed about their silliness but you were also shocked to what extent people thought of you. How you just were after his money or other stuff. Did people even thought before they talked?

You still held your contact with the other boys. They weren't about what you did but they found it hilarious. When you sat on the rooftop to tell them what happened they all laughed their asses off telling you, you did great. You didn't even wanted to understand what they meant with you doing great.

After like another month the rumors kind of shut down. They weren't completely eradicated but less than weeks ago.

You were on your way to the rooftop when Jaehyun wrote in the group chat you all decided to open a few weeks ago. You didn't even need to look to say what he wrote. The only thing he always wrote was that he didn't come to the rooftop.

You already heard a lot of people talking on the rooftop. You squinted your eyes as soon as you walked out of the door. The sun beamed in your face so you had to take a hand to cover your eyes. To your surprise Jaehyun was sitting there and chatting with the others.

You took out your phone and read the message he wrote in the group chat.

Today I'm coming to the roof - boy who always glares👀 (11:56am)

You felt your phone being taken away from Doyoung. Even with trying, you couldn't hold a grasp on your phone. "Ohhhh guys, do you know how Y/N saved Jaehyun in her contact list?" Everyone shoke their head and Doyoung jumped around like a hyper pony. "Doyoung, I warn you. Shut the fuck up and give me my phone back." You glared at him and the angry voice was audible. But Doyoung just shoke his head. "She saved him as boy who always glares. She even has two eyes emojis behind this."

Everyone laughed expect you and Jaehyun. You looked panicked at him and he seemed happy. He had a huge smile on his face.

You went to Doyoung and ripped your phone out of his hands. You glared at him one last time before you walked to the others and sat down.

Everyone seemed to have calmed down. So Jaehyun took the opportunity to speak first. "You all know Sicheng right? He's holding a party on Friday and he ask me if I could bring some of my friends."

"Uhhh Sicheng is holding a party? I'm definitely in." Said Yuta with a grin. He looked happier than you've seen him before. Did he had a thing for Sicheng?

You leaned in to Carly and hold a hand in front of your mouth before you whispered to her. "Who is Sicheng?"

"He's also in the clique. You just don't see him often."

"Ah Jaehyun I assume your also in for it." After Jaehyun nodded Doyoung added "So why do we all not just meet up at the party. A little fun can't damage, right?" Jaehyun looked at you and for the first time in weeks you didn't saw him glare at you or anything. He actually had a small smile on his lips which had you smiling unconscious. You weren't sure of what to say to the offer but Charly already agreed for you.

It was Friday evening and you were getting ready for the party. Charly put make up on for you.

When you were in high school you actually wanted to do stuff like this. But you gave up after months of trying. Whenever you made yourself pretty in your eyes and went to your parents they said you looked like a clown or something.

"Ok, I'm finished. You look amazing Y/N." Carly praised herself. You stood in front of a mirror. You put on a short black dress. You didn't have a lot of dresses in your wardrobe and this was the best and expensive looking, so you decided fot this one.

On the way to Sicheng's home ,where the party was on going, you kinda felt nervous again. You weren't much of a party type. Your bed was much more comfortable than a drunk people who collided with you. But Charly pleaded you the whole week to come with her. It wouldn't be fun without you. So you gave in.

When Sicheng's house was in sight you already saw a lot of drunk people in his dooryard. It wasn't even past 9pm and here you were struggling to even come to his front door because a dude had to fall in front of you and nearly spelled all of his drink on you. Thanks to Carly this didn't happen. She pulled you back a little and the red cup landed in front of your shoes. Due to smell the cup had to have vodka in it.

Finally inside it wasn't better. More drunk people could be seen. The only difference was that they also danced awfully to the music. They hadn't any rhythm to the beat but what do you expect from intoxicated students.

Suddenly a guy came to your side. He was tall and looked like someone who would spent his time with the " RSB " kids since his clothing looked just as expensive as from Jaehyun. But you couldn't deny that he still looked pretty handsome. The only thing didn't matching was that he was here. He looked too cute to even come to this party. So what was he doing here?

"Hey I'm Sicheng. I assume you're Y/N." Your eyes almost fell out from your staring. He was the person who throw the party. He looked like an introverted person and not someone with so many connections. Your prejudice was again wrong.

You felt Carly pinching your waist. Sicheng looked amused by you and you finally realized you just stared at him and not even said a single word. It would be too awkward to say anything now and to your relief Sicheng spoke again. "Well since Carly already told me about you, you don't have to introduce yourself, I guess. Do you two want to come with me to the basement? The others are already there. We play billiards. I'm not that good so I came up to look if anything is damaged." He smiled at the both of you and Carly dragged you with her to the basement.

Sicheng disappeared briefly in the kitchen and came back with three red cups. You rather didn't plan on drinking anything because you knew you hadn't the best alcohol tolerance. Nonetheless you accepted the cup amd followed both downstairs. The landing was small and it wasn't really illuminated.

The room was large. The walls were black which let the room seem smaller than he actually was. Paintings were on two walls. One was yellow with white and black mixed in it and the other showed a boy with his back looking. He sat on a stone and around him was water. It seemed like the stone was his only lifeboat. Further away in the background you could see a forest. It definitely didn't look appealing. The forest was dark green mixed with black.

Although it was the basement it had a big window. You could see the garden through the window. The garden was also large. The trees were organized after their length. There was a path between the trees that led to a shed. Other than this there was also a big pool were a lot of people were crowded around.

Back in the room was a billiard table and Yuta played against Taeyong. Taeyong was in lead. There was also a couch were Doyoung, Johnny, Carly and Sicheng sat. You didn't notice the two left your side. A table was in front of the couch and chaird were placed around the table. Even though most of the people were here, Jaehyun was missing. This made you a little disappointed. You were looking kinda forward to see him.

Your best option was to go to the others on the couch. Once you settled down Johnny suggested to play truth or dare. You weren't really in the mood for it but what exactly could go wrong. Yuta and Taeyong also gathered around the table and Doyoung placed an empty bottle in the middle of the table. The chair to your left wasn't occupied. You took the opportunity and ask where Jaehyun was. "We actually don't know. He was here a while ago and suddenly he was gone. He probably is upstairs kissing with some chick." This earned Johnny a lot of glares from the other boys and Carly kicked him. Johnny just looked questionable at the others. Sicheng whispered something into Johnny's ear and he looked apologetic at you. Now it was your turn to look confused. Taeyong opened his mouth to say something when the door opened and revealed Jaehyun. He sat down on the only chair that was left and drunk his alcohol mix. Nobody asked him where he was and instead Taeyong spun the bottle.

It stopped at Yuta and he chose dare. Doyoung dared him to call Mark and confess to him his love for Sicheng. Taeyong who sat on your right told you who Mark was. He was also part of the clique but a semester under them. They knew him since middle school. The phone ringing stopped Taeyong from speaking more. After the fifth ring Mark accepted the call. The whole thing was really funny because Mark had to be sleeping already as his answers made no sense. He wished the new couple congratulations although Yuta only talked about his love for Sicheng and not returned love.

Yuta spun the bottle and this time it stopped at Jaehyun. He chose truth. "Do you have someone who you like?" Doyoung briskly asked. Jaehyun stiffened for a moment before his eyes met yours and he seemed to get more nervous. He eventually looked back at Doyoung. "Yeah I do have someone." A lot of oohhhs could be heard and Johnny asked who it was but Jaehyun didn't spell any tea.

You felt Jaehyun's glimpse on you again but you decided to ignore it. You began to get nervous. Jaehyun spun the bottle and oh how predictably. It stopped at you. If you chose truth, you would have become a question like Jaehyun. You decided for dare which was the worse decision.

As the rounds before Doyoung talked. "I dare you to kiss the person to your left." You couldn't believe this. Why did it had to be Jaehyun? You didn't dare to look at him. Instead you looked around and nobody was really shocked about the statement expect you and Jaehyun. You slowly turned your head to your left and locked eyes with him. He seemed as nervous as you. You hesitated but you moved forward to him. You halted in front of his face. Your noses were touching, never breaking eye contact. Your heart beat a lot faster than you wanted and you were sure he could hear it from his position. As you appeared to not move forward anymore, he took the chance and placed his lips in yours. You closed your eyes. He moved slowly and you took up with his pace. He leaned back and you opened your eyes to see shocked faces of the others. You looked back at him and saw him trying to conceal a smile which brought a small smile to creep up on your face.

"Wow. I never thought you would really do this." Doyoung said as shaken as he looked. You took the first sip of your drink and it soured your throat.

You all didn't speak about this and just moved on to continue your game. After some time you excused yourself to get you a new drink. You weren't drunk but definitely a little tipsy.

You made your way out of the door and proceeded your way up the stairs. As you almost arrived upstairs a hand touched your shoulder. You turned around and saw Jaehyun behold you. His eyes were dark and it made him even more handsome. His eyes flickered between your eyes and your lips as he came closer and briefly kissed you on the lips, just to examine your expression. When you didn't move away or anything, he kissed you again. This time deeper than in the game. His lips were soft as they moved against your own. He pushed you against the wall and your hands moved upwards his torso and around his neck. The feeling of his hands on your side sending chills through your body. One of his hands moved to your back and then squeezed lightly your butt. A moan escaped your lips before you could stop it. Jaehyun grunted at this.

"Do you know how long I've waited for this? I couldn't hold it in anymore. Why do you have to wear this short dress? It looks so fucking good on you." He said pressing you more against the wall. He kissed your jaw down to your neck and sucked till purple bruises began to form. He moved to your ear and nibbled at it. This let another moan escape as you moved your head back which gave him more access to your neck. Your leg moved around his and you felt a bulge touch the space between your legs. You felt yourself getting more wet.

"Hey what do you think about getting in one of the rooms upstairs?" He said in between kisses. You stopped and looked at him. "Isn't this Sicheng's house? Can we really do it?" You asked a little nervous because the bulge was driving you crazy and you actually couldn't really wait anymore. "It's no problem. We actually kind of a share the house."

So you two went upstairs in a room that also had his walls painted in a dark color. You couldn't really make your surrounding out since you were to busy undressing and then exploring Jaehyun's body.

He led you to the bed and laid you down, so he could hover over you. He undressed you whilst you slid your fingers along his abs. When he was done he kissed you from your lips down to your stomach. Every now and then he left hickeys on your skin. You whimpered everytime he touched your inner thighs with his fingers. He stroke your inner thighs slowly upwards till he was on your core. His mouth came in contact with your ear as he whispered. "You're so wet for me babe. I love how you react to every touch I make." His voice was deep as he pinched your left breast. You whimpered again and goosebumps were making its way down your arms. You arched your back when he suddenly inserted a finger. He nibbled on your right breast and massaged the other with his hand that wasn't occupied with your lower body. After little time he inserted the next finger. You couldn't handle all of this anymore and you felt a bunch forming in your stomach. "Jaehyun...I-" you couldn't finish your sentence. Jaehyun quickened his pace with his fingers and his tongue. It didn't need much and you road of your orgasm. He maintained eye contact while he went down and licked all your juice up.

When you came down from your high, Jaehyun opened a drawer next to the bed and fetched a condom. "You okay babe? You can take more?" He asked while he looked back at you. His dark eyes showed sincerity. Instead of just answering you kissed him passionately and one hand wandered down his stomach to his cock. You wrapped your hands around it and pumped a few times. He groaned and let his head roll back. His eyes closed as he whispered sweet nothings in the air. He stopped your hand movements and slipped the condom over his cock. He positioned himself in front of your entrance and slid without a warning inside. You cried out and felt a single tear roll down your cheek. He swiped it away and kissed your cheeks. He waited till you were ready to take more of him. He began with a slow pace and from time to time he quickened it. You kissed his jaw down to his neck. You started to suck at his neck and he moaned at the feeling of your lips on his skin. "Jaehyun baby...I think I'm-" "No wait just a little bit more okay?" You nodded along. His movements became loppier and you knew he was also close. He kissed you sloppily and you moaned against his lips when you road off your next climax. Jaehyun still pumped a few times into you before he also reached his high.

He collapsed on you and you two breathed heavily. You could feel his breath on your neck. He slipped off his condom and you laid your head on his chest. He swung his arm around your middle and you two fall asleep.

You woke up from the feeling of a body that pulled you closer. The person hid his face in the crock of your neck. You heard a knock on the door. "Jaehyun I know you're in there. Wake up. The others already made breakfast." Sicheng's voice appeared behind the door. "And don't try to hide the fact that Y/N is also in there. We know what you two did last night. So hurry up and come down." Doyoung added. You were red as a tomato thanks to Doyoung's remark.

When you two arrived at the table in the kitchen, 12 eyes looked at you. You just sheepishly smiled and sat down without saying any word that could lead to a conversation you weren't willing to have. Jaehyun sst down next to you and this made you even more nervous.

"So you two lovebirds. Aren't gonna say anything important to us that might as well should be shared by now?" Johnny interrogated with a goofish smile.

"Well..uhmm..Y/N and I are together, I guess?" Jaehyun stated or more like questioned. You knew he wasn't sure if you saw it the same way he saw it. You two could just had a one night stand and there wasn't feelings on your side. But you quickly vanished his thoughts when you took his hand in yours and said proudly but also embarrassed. "Yeah. Today is our first day as a couple."

The others laughed at your awkwardness and you released a breath you didn't even know you were holding. "Finally. Ohh I thought you two wouldn't check it. I mean how dumb are you two that- oww. That hurt." Johnny pouted at his girlfriend whereas Carly glared at him. "Wait do you mean finally?" you asked confused. "Did you really never saw Jaehyun staring at you. He did it like everytime you were near us. I thought his eyeballs would fall out." Taeyong laughed as Jaehyun's ears reddened and he looked down in embarrassment.

The first day you two went to school and hold hands on the way to your class, other students gasped and it was quickly gossiped all over the campus that Jung Jaehyun was dating Y/N Y/L/N. Even now you couldn't believe how fast information were spread around the campus. It all felt surreal. Jaehyun the hot topic ever since you knew about him and you the nerd who anyone never really cared about. Now you were the center from all. Some students said negative things like you were after his money or you just wanted popularity others said you two looked really cute or simply envied you. You weren't familiar with all this attention and it definitely wasn't something you ever wanted but you had to deal with it, so it had to work somehow.

Your first date was the cutest shit ever. He took you to a romance movie and hold hands the entire time the film played. Once the movie was over you two went to the Hangang Park. You sat on a bench and talked for hours. He was such a nice gentlemen the whole day you couldn’t belive it. Sadness was visible on both of your faces when you had to say goodbye. He gave you kiss and left.

After a month Jaehyun convinced you to come with him to a party one of his friends was hosting. If you remembered right his name was Ten. He was holding a party in the top floor of his parents' hotel. You didn't knew how you should dress yourself as you didn't have such expensive clothes that all of the people on the party would have. You couldn't tell Jaehyun about your problem because you knew he would buy you a dress and that was te least you wanted him to do. You didn't knew how to pay him back.

A knock on your apartment door made you jump off the couch and walking towards it. You opened the door a gap and looked at the guest. It was a old man in a black suit. He had a white shirt under the suit and a black bowtie on. He also had thick glasses on. You looked at him expecting. What was an old man doing in front of your door? And why did he look like a chauffeur? "Hello my is Bervald. I'm here to give you this present from Mr. Jung. He is waiting in the car outside. Please dress quickly." He bowed and left the gift on the doorway. You quickly took the box and opened it. It was a salmon ruched side jumper dress and next to the dress were matching ankle boots. You quickly changed and put some makeup on. Just so much that it wouldn't look too bad. You stumbled out of your door and saw Jaehyun waiving through the window. He was sitting in a limousine and you honestly were overwhelmed by the view of your boyfriend sitting in it. Bervald opened the door for you and you gladly thanked him before entering the car.

"Hey babe." He greeted with a brief kiss on the lips. "Hey. Did you buy this dress for me? I don't know when I'll be able to pay you back." You said with an uncomfortable look. "I knew you would say this. It's okay. I bought this because I love you and I refuse to get money from you for this." He took your hand and placed his soft lips on top it. Then he smiled at you and you saw those dimples you loved so much on him. You couldn't be angry or anything with him when he was like this. So you smiled at him and nodded along.

When you arrived at the hotel you felt kinda nervous. You only knew Jaehyun at the party as he said that the others couldn't come. He took your hand in his and led you to the elevator. The elevator drove all the up to the top floor and when the doors opened you already saw what felt lika a thousand people partying. Most of them were already drunk. Jaehyun guided you through the mass of people and you were going stairs upwards to a room.

A security guard stood in front of the door. He had broad shoulders and looked serious. Jaehyun said his name and the name looked through what you assumed was a name list. After he found the name he stepped aside and you and Jaehyun could go in. The room was quieter. It played a different music than in the entrance.

A man approached you who was shorter than Jaehyun. He looked like a instance of a rich kid. Neatly, and well the look on his face that proverbial said I'm rich. But nonethelessly he looked like a really nice guy. He hugged Jaehyun. "Jaehyun, Hey. Is this your girlfriend everybody's talking about?" He then looked at you with a wide grin. "Nice to meet you. I'm Ten. With whom do I have the honor?" He stretched his hand for you to take out. You took his hand and shoke it. "I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you too."

He led you to a table with 3 other guys and 1 woman. You three sat down and Ten introduced them all to you. A man that looked as short as Ten was Taeil and he somehow sent the same vibes as Yuta. Right beside Taeil sat Mark. He was the same guy Yuta called on the party month ago. And Jungwoo was beside Mark. Mark seemed like a little boy and Jungwoo was really cute. The only other woman in the round was named Si Jin. She looked pissed off for no reason. Her attitude was rude toward you but to the others she was the nicest person altogether.

Jaehyun bend his head to you and said he would leave for a short time as Ten wants to show him something he just purchased. He kissed you on the cheek and then disappeared in another room. You were left with Si Jin.

"So you love Jaehyun?" She eyed you up and down. You couldn't feel more uncomfortable under her sight. "Yes, I do." You said more to yourself than to her. You never said those words to Jaehyun but he said it permanently to you. You disappointed yourself. Why was it like this?

“You seem more like the type of girl that is just after his money. Stay away from him.“ She said with arrogance. “I’m not after his money. And you’re not someone I obey. So don’t interfere in the relationship with Jaehyun because I don’t think you’re winning anything out of it.“ You snapped at her. She just laughed and spilled the drink she had in her hand over her dress. The others were coming back and Si Jin looked angry and sad at the same time. Ten was the first to arrive. “Si Jin what happened to you?“ “Y/N spilled the drink over me and insulted me because she thinks I’ve a thing for Jaehyun.“

Your mouth opened but nothing came out. You were shocked that she played such dirty tricks. You glanced at Jaehyun and he looked angry at you. Was he really believing her? “Y/N see what you did. Her dress is entirely transparent. How could you humiliate her like this?“ Ten yelled at you. “I wasn’t even the one who did this to begin with. Why would I do something like this. I now my limits.“ You said while feeling yourself getting angry. Your eyebrows furrowed and the displeasure of his words were truly visible on your face. “So are you blaming her? Why would she do this to herself hmm? She’s a good friend of mine and she wouldn’t do anything like this.“ Jaehyun rose his voice at you. It was the first time that he was so angry at you. Even the looks of his ignorance were better than this situation. Everyone in the room was now looking at the scenario that took place in front of them. Your heart shattered at the sight of your boyfriend. How could he have so little trust in you? You wanted to fight back at him but what would happen? He didn’t believe you indifferent of what you said. Tears showered your face but he didn’t care. “I would never do such a thing to a person and I thought you know me. But I guess I was wrong. You never trusted me in the first place. So bye Jaehyun. Have a good life.“ You mockingly said the last words before exiting the room and the hotel.

You walked all the way home. You couldn’t care less about the people that looked wary at you. You couldn’t stop thinking about the look you saw on Si Jin’s face before you left. She smiled mischievously at you. How come he didn’t notice this?

Back in your apartment Carly already waited at you. She expected you to come home smiling like an idiot or calling you and tell her you weren’t coming home. But she definitely never expected to see you crying like baby. She ran to you and gave you a heartwarming hug. “Hey, hey everything’s fine. Calm down.“ She ran his hand over your back in an attempt to soothe you. It just achieved the opposite and you were crying more and more. You missed Jaehyun and her hand on your back let you feel more miserable than you already were.

After you calmed down you told Carly the whole story. She couldn’t believe what she just heard. “You mean this bitch tricked everyone on the party? And Jaehyun didn’t took your side but instead hers? Is he this much of a dumbass?“ She was upset at Jaehyun. She suggested to wach a movie and she also brought ice cream. The two of you chatted the rest of the night away. You couldn’t stop thinking about Jaehyun but you didn’t want Carly to feel pity because she couldn’t help you.

The next day you weren’t in the condition to go to any lecture. You were heartbroken that’s for sure but you also had one of the worst headaches in your life. Thanks to your headache you throw frequently up. Besides you had to convince Carly to go to the lecture because she thought it would be better if she helped you. But you actually didn’t want to see anybody, so she gave in.

You slept most of the day away and when you woke up in the evening your headache thankfully mitigated. Carly left you a note on the kitchen counter. She went out with Johnny but she made you a soup. You just had to warm it up in the microwave. You looked at your phone for any notifications but the only persons that messaged you were Carly and Taeyong. Jaehyun didn’t wrote you nor called you. You ate the soup and answered Carly and Taeyong. After that you crawled under your blanket again and doze off to dreamland.

A slight touch on your shoulder woke you again. A part of you hoped it would be Jaehyun but it were Johnny and Carly. You looked disappointed at them and they took care of you for the rest of the day. They wanted to drag you out but you denied. So you just sat in the living room and they called the others over. Expect Jaehyun everyone was there. You played cards and you weren’t so good at it. You lost like every round but it felt not as frustated as you felt about Jaehyun. Your sadness kinds turned into frustration.

The next week you went to school like how you used to before you knew Jaehyun. Of course they had to be rumors about you. A girl came to you and said. “He finally realized what a hoe you are.“ Then she left. What the hell was wrong with those people? It wasn’t their relationship, so why did everyone want to be a part of it? When you met Jaehyun in class you ignored him. It wasn’t that hard because he did the same with you. But sometimes you would feel him glance at you. You didn’t thought much into it and just continued to listen to the prof.

Even if you were mentally exhausted, you still had to go to work. Every hour you spent there felt like torture. The customers were more rude than before since they knew about the break up. You snapped at a student one day because he said you were too bad in bed to be togehter with. Also you explained yourself to your boss she was beyond pissed. You couldn’t allow you another mistake like this. You smiled at everyone despite their nasty remarks. Your nights were spent crying in your bed. You didn’t care if Carly heard you. You just didn’t wanted this life anymore. Everybody turned their backs to her expect from her few friends she had. Although she was thankful for the friends she gained, she couldn’t help but feel sad. They were still Jaehyun’s friend and you still missed him to death.

Taeyong took you to a new opened cafe one day. He said he felt miserable for yu so he wanted to make you at least a litlle happy. You didn’t commented on this as both of you knew nothing would change your feelings right now. The cafe was rather full but it was nice decorated. There stood fresh flowers on every table and the walls were in a bright orange. It looked new but fancy. The atmosphere felt like the total opposite of the cafe your were working at. but before you could deepen your thoughts Taeyong spoke. “I ordered an Iced Americano for you. I hope you still like it.“ “Ah...yes I still like it.“ You said hesitant. You never talked with him about your favorite drink so why did he knew it? You sat with him for quiet a while before the order was finally ready.

When Taeyong wasn’t coming back with the orders you looked the cafe up for him. He was nowhere to be found. “Y/N, it’s nice to meet you again. I really missed you.“ You heard a very familiar voice saying. There he stood with the two orders in his hand. The person you missed the most out of all. Jaehyun. He had a black jeans and a loosely light blue t-shirt on. For once in the time you saw him he didn’t look like a someone who is rich. he looked like a decent human being. You couldn’t see his face because he managed to also hold a big bouquet of flowers. He hesitantly put the drinks on the table and sat the opposite from you down. The flowers were neatly placed in the middle of the table. “You know..“ he bagan “I was really dumb. I mean I knew you would never do this but I wasn’t thinking in that moment. I don’t know why I said those things to you and ...I’m really sorry. I know this isn’t enough but I couldn’t think of anything else. I just wanted to be honest to you.“ He took your hands in his “Y/N I miss you like crazy. There isn’t a night I don’t think about you and feel like crap. I know this is chliché but what I did was wrong and again I’m truly sorry.“ You could see the sincerity in his eyes but you still weren’t convinced. “If you were so sorry why didn’t you come a week ago?“ Jaehyun couldn’t look you in the eyes as he said his next words. “I was embarrassed. I thought you would hate me to death and...and I didn’t know how to approach you. You never looked at me and you were always the first out of the lecture hall. I was being cowardly and I’m sorry for this.“ A smile creeped its way to your face and you started to laugh. He looked confused at you before you answered his question that was visibly on his face written. “You’re just too cute Jaehyun. I know you’re sorry and I already forgave you but it was too funny to see your ears getting redder.“ You said inbetween laughs. He smiled at your silliness and you died internally when you saw his dimples you missed so much.

“I love you Y/N.“ He spoke up after a short pause. “I love you too, you idiot.“

#jaehyun #NCT #nct jaehyun #nct imagines #nct scenarios #jaehyun scenarios #nct x reader #nct smut #nct fluff #nct angst

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songofsaraneth · 3 years

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Another very busy but very fun couple weeks over here!!!! what a change of pace from the every-day-the-same-blur the last couple months have been.

My parents birthdays are in late June/early July so I went back to Chicago to visit for those + the 4th. It’s been well over a year since I was last at my childhood home and I always miss the lake I grew up on sooooo much. Got to have a nice time kayaking around (pic 1) and enjoying the water lillies and frogs :)))) Also visited my extended family in rural western IL, my uncle is one of the 3 people that make up the towns entire historical preservation society, and they just finished moving/restoring a cute cabin and some equipment from when the area was first settled, which was neat (pic 2).

On the 3rd I went downtown to hang out with my childhood bffs + partners + my friend’s daughter on a beach on Lake Michigan (pic 3), and its the frist time i’ve been around so many people since 2020 and i’m definitely both rusty on the social skills as well as still feeling weirded out by groups now. It was a really hot day with cold water and good company and food though so while a shock to be back in such a weirdly “normal” setting I did still have a good time. And saw a couple of them again on the 4th at my house, and the neighbors across the lake set off a surprisingly good firework show (pic 4).

I also got to go visit @onionjuggler and her pups (pic 5 & 6 and oops forgot to take any of us together lmao)!!!!!! While this is not actually the first time we have met as we overlapped at the same college (and were both in the campus circus group no less), we reconnected on tumblr last summer bonding over Dragon Age & Mass Effect obsessions and it was soooooo nice to get to hang out irl as a follow up :)))))

Anyway I spent less than a week back in New Mexico frantically catching up on working + prepping for my following trip this past weekend. Also got to do some baking for a labmate’s post-thesis-defense party, it’s the first time I’ve been able to bake for other people in???? SO long and I missed it. Made doughnut muffins (not pictured) which are delicious but not photogenic and then mini fruit tartlets (pic 7) which taste good and are also very visually show-off-y. Happy to say they were a hit!

Anyway then friday night I drove over to AZ where a photographer couple I’ve worked with a few times before/kept in touch with just moved a few months ago (all the way from New Hampshire). Their new house has a pool so we arranged to do both some figure-on-landscape and figure photography plus also some underwater work! It’s been since last March since my last modeling gig and FOREVER since I’ve gotten to do any mermaid portraits, so it was very exciting to be able to get back to both. Spent the weekend running around jumping on rocks in improbable places with full face makeup + giant lashes lmao (pic 8) and on very little sleep since we were doing sunrise shots as well. I style/advertise myself as an “adventure model” able to get to trickier locations and do harder shoots than the average model, and Jay (the photographer) has done several with me before, so we also went to a location he knew he’d probably not be able to get another model able to reach as it involved an uphill 5 mile technical mountain bike ride followed by a mile of hiking while carrying our giant backpacking bags of camera equipment + outfit/makeup changes + 3 liters of water, all in 95º weather in midday desert sun lmao. The shots turned out SO good though, and I even got to jump in an ephemeral waterfall pool for a bunch of them, and then the mountain bike ride back down was SO fun, though I still had to walk a few bits since no way was I doing some of those technical rocky corners while in a 25lb pack. Bikes & some gear featured in pic 9 :D

Pic 10 is the view from one of the locations we shot at! Involved a technical scramble up the back of a boulder, but looked like a totally sheer face from the front--it’s gonna be super impressive in the final pics. I was wearing a dress made from an old repurposed parashute, so the skirt hangs way down over the rocks and will billow if there’s any breeze, which we did have a bit of. You can see the giant adventure van we roamed around in under a tree in the foreground. I’m really glad I was able to go out and get those because I actually woke up with a migraine saturday night and my rescue meds give me super weird dreams/make me fairly woozy, but luckily the migraine was a fairly small one by my standards and the meds had worn off enough that I could do the climbing stuff safely. But it did mean I only got like 3 hours of sleep after only 2 hours of sleep on friday so I was fairly exhausted. greem.jpg.

And the underwater stuff in the afternoon went really well to!!!! It’s soooo hard to tell if anythings turning out in the moment since you can’t really see on the viewfinder if things are working, but we got some AMAZING stuff I’m super excited to share once he finishes editing.

Drove home last night (sunday) however there was a HUGE monsoon stormfront. I’m glad becuase we need the rain desperately but for like an hour I had periods of almost no visibility (doing 40mph in a 75 zone with hazards on) and there was up to 2 inches of water on the road surface. So I stopped in a rest stop to nap for 2 hours until it cleared up. But I also hate naps and then slept weird once I got home at 3:30am so now I’m in a weird exhausted haze but also still kinda wired rip. But! Fun times and very much looking forward to a nice hot shower now that I’ve eaten and had an hour to just sit and breathe.

#ramblings #long post (if u click thru anyway)#my stuff #wanderings #im sooooo excited for the pics #i have some bad phone pics of the comp screen of the unedited shots but not posting anything online until i get the real ones of course #but im heart_eyes_emoji #i love to be part of Art #my modeling #me

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chaoticspacefam · 3 years

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The Lana Shipping Meme!

This is a meme made by @swtor-legacy-sitcom who very kindly tagged me to fill it in, thank you! :D This was super fun, I’ve been in a bit of a writing rutt lately so this was a nice way to sort-of dip my toe back into it :P I TOTALLY forgot this was in my drafts and forgot to schedule it to post, I’m soooo sorry it took so long lmao 😳😬

I’m not sure if we’re supposed to tag other people with this one so I’ll just leave a general, open tag here: if you have a Lana ship and want to fill this one out, feel free to yoink the meme and say I tagged you! Yes, I promise I mean you <3

Spoilers for KOTFE/KOTET, and slight spoilers for the Subterfugeverse “version” of said events, will be discussed below, so be aware of that before proceeding! There’s also some midlly nsfw questions so you might wanna skip those if they’re not your thing! :D Under a cut because it’s long, but no trigger warnings need apply.

Is Lana Beniko absolutely done with their shit?

Oh yes, absolutely. Nearly always. At any given time, BUT Lana wouldn’t have it any other way. Saarai may be a reckless, overly-heroic idiot with seemingly no self-preservation, but she’s Lana’s reckless, overly-heroic idiot, ya know :’D

Do they make jokes together?

Fairly often, yes! Theirs is very much a flirty/fond banter type of relationship. Lana tells her she’s insufferable, Saarai rolls her eyes and snarks back, so on. See:

Saarai: Well this was a stupid idea Lana: Considering it was one of yours, I’m not surprised Saarai: Why didn’t you say something? Lana: I did and you did it anyway. And what have we learnt from this? Saarai, quietly: I’m a dumbass and I should listen to you more.... Lana: Good. I still love you, though. Saarai: :’D

Lana, two minutes later: You’re going to do it again, aren’t you? Saarai: Yeah, probably.

as well as that little cutscene “You’d better come back blah blah blah” “Well I have you to rescue me, that’s all I need~” is their default pre-dangerous battle banter :P

Who’s hornier? (who initiates)

Saarai is definitely hornier, and while she’s not always the one to initiate, she’s definitely the one to ask more often. (if I had to give it a number, prolly something like 65/45 lol) One of these days, Lana’s going to buy a spray bottle /jk

Kinkiest they’ve been?

Not awfully. Saarai’s a biter (Lana likes it, don’t worry 😏) and she loves it when Lana pulls her hair, but other than that, and making use of connections within the Force to heighten the sensations during such activities ;) they’re pretty vanilla

There was a post going around a while back about an alternative to a praise kink that was like, a “reassurance” kink, instead. I can’t find the actual post to link to it and I haven’t pinned down any specifics for them yet but I definitely think that’s a Saarai thing to look into later 😏

Has Lana ever covered up something your OC did as Minister of Intelligence?

In a roundabout way, yes. Technically, Saarai’s entire existence on Rishii. Since, teeechhnically, as far as the Empire’s concerned at that point, Rai’s supposed to be dead. Lana doesn’t know the technicalities of why that is (and Saarai isn’t comfortable telling her, even now), but she knows it’s important, so she does it for her even if she doesn’t know why.

Favorite non sexual downtime activity?

Cuddles! Saarai is a cuddlebug, and while Lana enjoys them she’s definitely not the “if I don’t get cuddled x times a day I can’t go on” type (in my headcanon, ofc, I’m not saying she can never be that way!) but, Saarai’s also very warm and cuddling her is cozy, so it’s something they both enjoy, whether Rai’s the big spoon, or - and this is Rai’s favourite thing ever - Saarai putting her head in Lana’s lap so Lana can play with her hair, it’s something they always do at the end of the day when they’re both done with work.

Mushiest thing Your OC has ever done for Lana?

So, I’m too impatient & lazy to do the actual HK missions in-game, but I know you can technically get another HK unit, so because ✨it’s my fanfic and I get to make the rules✨ Saarai sent Aria (my DS! Jedi Shadow, very good at stealth) back to Zakuul and though it was a bit battered up, she managed to retrieve HK’s processor. They had to get him a new chassis, but Koth and Ty managed to salvage the rest of his “important” bits and they rebuilt HK for her after they settled on Odessen :’3

Most Embarrassed Lana has ever been because of your OC?

In the middle of an important meeting, in front of everyone on the Alliance High Council, including Theron, Senya, Ni’kasi, Vano, etc.

Lana, sarcastically, after they’ve been disagreeing on how to handle a particular matter for ~1 hr: hahaha bite me.

Saarai, dead serious: Okay, where? 😏

Lana was mortified, to say the least XD

That thing that happened that they vow to NEVER speak of?

Saarai’s reaction when they went to Nathema. Rai’s psychometric, and in hindsight she realises putting her hand on that wall as she ducked into the building was a mistake. She was bombarded with flashback after flashback of what had happened on Nathema when it was still Medriaas, the planet where she was born and where most of her family died, it was not a pleasant experience for her and Rai actually collapsed at one stage because it was all too much for her ;w;

Lana had to bring her back around and herd her back on the ship, where Rai had to wait because she just couldn’t go any further, and Lana and Vano had to go on alone. Lana agreed not to tell anyone else about what had happened, because Saarai didn’t want any of them to worry about her, or think she was “weak” because of it.

The Angriest they’ve ever been at each other?

There’s actually two instances that come to mind for this one

1) Koth’s betrayal/stealing of the Gravestone, Lana was pissed at Koth and wanted to take it out on him, Saarai was pissed at the situation and got between them and chewed Lana out for taking it out on him. (Subterfugeverse is kinda complicated, there’s two Commanders calling the shots for different parts of the Alliance, Koth took issue with something Vano did and made the reckless, kinda stupid decision to still steal the Gravestone even tho Saarai didn’t do anything. (also for anyone new to the blog, all three of them are dating, they’re polyam ;)) Lana took it personally, Saarai was more upset that he was upset and didn’t say anything before he did something stupid. Rai and Lana butted heads about how to deal with it, Lana got salty cause she got yelled at, but they ofc fix it later :3)

2) Torian’s death. Saarai had tried to warn Lana what would happen if they split Vette & Torian up during that fight, Lana brushed it off and told Rai to “stop overreacting, it will be fine”. Obviously, it was not fine. Rai was very angry at the result because, I quote, “I WARNED YOU! And you wouldn’t listen to me!” Saarai refused to speak to Lana for a few days after that, it was kinda a rough time for Lana, she’s only seen Rai get that angry a few times, and only once at her so it shook her a bit. 😢

How does both Lana, and your OC initiate the ‘fade to black’ ;)

For Saarai, the “indicator” is usually when her kisses start to become 50/50 between kissing and biting/nibbling. That’s the universal “ok I want to” signal for Rai. Usually very quickly followed by a soft “yes?” or “are you sure?”, either against her skin or into her ear, depending on where she’s kissing at the time; because she’ll always check first, and if Lana says “no”, it’s off, because Lana’s consent is more important than any of her feelings.

For Lana, it’s when she’ll let Rai pick her up and/or usually to pin her to a wall. There’s a decent height difference, Saarai’s 6 ft 3, and I headcanon that while Lana’s not necessarily “short” at around 5 ft 8, she’s considerably smaller than Rai, as well as being more “reserved” with PDA, she’ll hold hands, or kiss her on the cheek etc. in front of other people, but otherwise Lana tries to keep somewhat “professional” while they’re at work. So when she starts climbing her like a tree, Rai knows she’s about to get some. XD

Do they have kids?

Kiiiinddd of? It’s complicated. Saarai has a son, Ty, from a previous relationship. Lana & Koth both sort of step up to help co-parent, but since Sith Purebloods age differently (i.e. they’re adults at ~20ish the same as humans, but after that they’re more like elves and their physical aging slows down, so they’re more long-lived), even though Ty’s very young by Pureblood standards, he’s still 60 years old, so he’s technically older than Lana and it’s kind of awkward for him to actually call her mom even if she kind of acts like one. He accidentally called her “mom” once, it was very awkward for both of them XD

What has been the most protective Lana has ever had of said kid?

I sat and scratched my head for ages trying to think of something to answer this question with, but I’m very sad to say that right now at the time of answering this meme, I don’t have any specific scenes planned out to tell you about! :( But rest assured that Lana absolutely would rush to help Ty if it was ever necessary :D

House pets? Is your Lana a dog person, or Cat person?

Funnily enough, they don’t actually have any pets! I’d like to think of Lana as more of a cat person than a dog person, in my personal opinion. But they have yet to get any pets of their own, maybeee later on, I dunno. Haven’t hit on any solid ideas for them yet, but I feel like if they happened upon a cute kitty they definitely could adopt one at some stage :’3

Do they get freaky on the Alliance Base or in the Shuttles?

They’ve done both, to be honest lol. Thankfully, Saarai’s sneaky enough that they haven’t gotten caught doing it, yet. Thank the Force.

Are their Sparring Matches Flirtatious? Hardcore?

They could go either way, it depends on what kind of mood they’re both in. If Lana’s particularly annoyed (usually not at Rai, but sometimes) then it’s more likely to be a hardcore spar, Rai’s a pretty tough cookie so she’ll often offer to be Lana’s punching bag in order to spare them some repair bills so she doesn’t rip apart the training dummies irrepairably, it’s okay, Rai can take it ;)

But if they’re both in an otherwise good mood and are just sparring for practise sakes, then yes, they often very quickly devolve into flirtacious banter and some of the classics, you know, “okay you win, you can let me go now” “mmm, nah” “I thought we were sparring” “do you want me to stop” “...don’t you dare.” etc. :’D

Class Specific things that play into their relationship?

Saarai’s a Juggernaut, and I headcanon Lana’s probably some sort of Sorcerer, so they tend to fight as such. They cover each other in more ways than one, if you want to get to Lana you have to go through Saarai first (and good luck to you, that woman can take and give a fucking beating lmao). Lana picks off whatever Saarai’s saber misses, usually with Force attacks but sometimes with her saber, too. Saarai takes bullets for Lana so Lana doesn’t have to get hurt. Lana yells at Rai for doing that and then fixes her up with Force healing afterwards, rinse and repeat. :’D

When they do argue, Lana tends to spontaneously manifest Force lightning, Saarai’s used to it and doesn’t bat an eyelid, she knows Lana’s not actually going to throw it at her and she’s more than prepared to dodge any stray bolts that do come her way.

Lana’s the tactician and the ground support, Saarai’s the battering ram/the bigass hammer used to clear space when Lana needs a bit of extra “oomph” (and trust me, they’re usually never far apart. The other one will be there and then you’ll be in trouble lmao)

Describe a time your OC went ‘Full beast mode’ to protect Lana, instead of the other way around?

"Kriff. Koth, what happened?” Three words was all it took, and everything made sense: “They hurt Lana.”

That scene in the Endless Swamps on Zakuul, just before they pull the Gravestone out of it and Lana and the Commander get ambushed. Saarai went with Lana & Koth to break Vano out of carbonite (since Saarai was still on Rishii at the time, she doesn’t get frozen, only Vano) so when they split up, Saarai goes with Koth to look for ship parts while Vano goes with Lana to look for water.

Lana and Vano get ambushed by the Knights/Skytroopers, and Lana’s hand gets busted. It takes Saarai and Koth a little while to rush over there to help them, but when they do

Saarai. Goes. Fucking. Feral. It’s the scariest she’s ever been in front of Lana and Lana will never forget it, they almost didn’t really need Senya’s help for that part, Saarai basically had it covered. I imagine Lana later described it as “kind of hot, but also kind of terrifying, actually”

Saarai’s considered Chaotic Good, so generally speaking if there’s a peaceful, non-violent solution to a problem, she’ll opt for that, but she has a few buttons that you just do not want to push, ever. And hurting her partners is one of those buttons. She will go apeshit and that’s exactly what happened in the swamp lmao

Little things couples do to annoy each other. What does Lana do? What does your OC do?

Saarai likes to wake up early and hide Lana’s kaf mug in increasingly ridiculous places. Once, she even got Koth to help her stick it to the top of the Gravestone’s hull. It took Lana half the morning to find it, Lana was not amused. XD

Saarai and Koth also have an ongoing “terrible puns” contest where they basically see who can annoy Lana with the most ridiculous puns possible, see this post for an example :P Lana wonders where/how they keep coming up with these puns, she really does.

Does Lana get jealous in your headcanon?

Not really! In Subterfugeverse, both Rai and Lana are polyam, so generally speaking, jealousy isn’t a problem for them, and when it is it’s more of a case of “hey. Hey. Hey, I’m not getting enough attention, pay attention to me.” and then it’s usually dealt with and all is well ;)

When Lana meets Anri, the only thing Saarai does is tease her about “when she’s going to make the move”. 😜

Story that is prominent in their relationship?

I was gonna draw a little doodle for this but the poses kept not coming out right so I gave up, sorryyy qAq

I haven’t gotten very far into planning the SoR onwards+ segments of Subterfugeverse, just bits and bobs like this, but I’d say for now the most prominent is probably their first meeting on Rishii. Basically, meet-cute but with a lightsaber involved too hahaha. There was a lot of posturing and flirty subtext right from the get-go with these two, even if Saarai was particularly suspicious at first (see the earlier question about her being technically dead to the Empire). At first, when she noticed Lana tailing Ty (because Lana was extremely confused about why a Pureblood was so far from Sith space ;)), Saarai assumed that something had happened to her twin and the Empire had A) found out she and Ty were still alive and B) Sent Lana to track them down and kill them for good. Several tension-loaded hours later and Lana managed to convince Rai that actually, Ni’kasi was fine and speaking of, she was trying to avoid being killed too so maybe, actually, they could help each other. And that was all she wrote <3

#swtor #lana romance meme #subterfugeverse #mildly n/sfw #swtor oc: saarai ahaszaai #ot3: sorry i ''stole'' your girlfriend #saarai/lana #since this is a lana meme i'm not gonna throw this in koth's tag but i will put it in their shipping tag for this blog #also yes lana/anri is going to be an eventual thing in subterfugeverse; even if i haven't worked out the specifics of *how* yet #because i'm sorry but there is *WAY* too much subtext in that lana/anri interaction and my dumbass polyam brain went ''hehehehehe :'3''#so GODDAMN IT I AM GOING TO USE IT lol #bioware can pry this ship from my cold dead fingers #watch me i'll turn the alliance into one big fucking polycule if you let me /lh #some of these i haven't gotten to plan out solidly yet so i had to think on the spot #and as such the specifics might be subject to change as we *GET* to those parts in the actual fic ''canon''#but for now here ya go ;D #long post

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arofili · 4 years

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how’d u get into writing? like, writing fic and being part of the silm community, being Known, that stuff? i’m really new to being a silm cc and i’d love to know ur advice! also: how’d u build up the confidence to start posting meta/hcs? bc i have a Lot of hcs and meta ideas but also i’m really anxious abt posting them bc yknow anxiety is like that

these are some great questions, anon! I’m gonna go through them one by one :)

how’d u get into writing?

not to be like, super cliche, but I’ve...kind of always been a writer? as long as I can remember I’ve been telling stories, and when I was too young to read or write I would dictate them to my mom, who would type them up for me and help me choose clipart illustrations to accompany them. when I got old enough I would always be writing; I attempted my first novel at age 9, and while that never really went anywhere I did finish the darn thing and it had some pretty sophisticated plot twists for a 9-year-old!

like, writing fic

around the same time I got into fandom! I was deep into Warrior cats (like. really deep) and I believe I started writing my first fics when I was like? 10 or 11? my memory is kind of fuzzy on the order of things, but I know I got an account on the Warriors forums when I was 9, and that I was already posting my fic there when I made my FFN account. I believe I was 12 when that happened, but who knows. I haven’t the faintest idea of what happened with those forums, but uhhh pretty much all of my Warriors fic is still up on FFN lmao. you could probably find that if you want to but um...maybe don’t?

my first Big Fic was a self-insert of...my entire 5th/6th grade class into the then-current timeline of the Warriors books...well. I honestly think that might still be my most popular fic of all time l m a o though I try not to think about it because Hashtag Cringe. though as much as I look back on that time with a “yikes,” I am very grateful for the Warriors fandom in a way? that place was so accepting and encouraging of OCs, of AUs, of completely disregarding canon, of worldbuilding that is completely alien from canon - it was a fantastic sandbox to begin with, there were so many ways to write stories and practically all of them were accepted and had fellow fans invested in them!

and being part of the silm community,

soooo I wrote Warriors fic until my freshman year of high school (wow sdjfhkdsjfh), which was when BOTFA came out, and I was absolutely wrecked by the ending and immediately started writing my own fixit fic. I was also super hooked on Kiliel! so that was my intro to the Tolkien fandom; and simultaneously, I joined tumblr, and, well, the rest is history tbh.

I honestly do not remember when I first read the Silm, but I kind of got into the more obscure parts of the Tolkien fandom through fandom osmosis, and I do have a vague memory of doodling the Finwean family tree in geometry class so it might have been later on in freshman year? that was also the same time I was having my Queer Awakening, and Russingon definitely contributed to me unlearning my internalized queerphobia, so probably around then.

anyway - queer awakening, tumblr, Tolkien, transitioning from FFN to AO3 - all of that was happening around the same time. I know I dipped my toes in the Silm fandom then, but I was still primarily a Hobbit fic writer focusing on Kiliel. toward the end of high school I kind of shifted to LOTR and (qp) Gigolas...but somehow the Silm fandom is the most active of the Big Three within the Tolkien fandom, and I was getting dragged further and further in.

it wasn’t until @backtomiddleearthmonth 2019, my freshman year of college, that I really dove into writing Silm fic! I picked some Silm-specific bingo cards and never looked back :D that was really not all that long ago but I am obsessed in a way I don’t really remember being even with TH/LOTR, I obviously cannot see the future but I anticipate hanging out here for a long time. the Silm fandom is great overall and there’s just so much material to work with!! <3

being Known, that stuff?

so I don’t really have a whole lot of context on how “well known” I am in the fandom?? definitely within the past year and a half or so I’ve noticed that I like, get asks like this, and get a significant amount of notes on my posts, and I’ve made a lot of fandom friends especially since I joined some Silm servers on Discord (hmu if you want invites; I’m on the SWG server and 2 general Silm servers and the Russingon server) this past year. and I have 3,000 followers as of this month - and while ever since I hit 1k I don’t particularly pay attention to my follower count I can definitely say that I have more engagement now than I used to! but it took me a long time to build this “audience,” I suppose; I’ve been around the Tolkien fandom since late 2014, so nearly 6 years of this, lol.

really the best way to build a following, in my experience, is to just post a lot of stuff. when I started making edits I got a lot more engagement, because for a long time I would post one every day! (I made them in batches and queued them; I didn’t actually make one every day lol...and now I’m too busy to do that, so I just make edits for events and whenever I feel like it) And I have [checks ao3] 145 works in the Silm fandom as of today - I’m fairly prolific! I’ve come to generally expect 3-10 comments on most of my oneshots, which is a lot more than I used to have back in the day. consistency and quantity are more likely to attract people to your work - and quality, of course.

also: how’d u build up the confidence to start posting meta/hcs?

I’ve been writing since I was very young, and I’ve been writing fic for like...11 years? I think? in that time I’ve produced a lot of garbage, but imo most of that was in my Warrior cats phase, so I came into the Tolkien fandom with confidence in myself and my writing. I’m also working on original fiction on the side (I hope to eventually become a published fantasy author, but right now school takes up most of my time that I don’t devote to fandom, which gives me more immediate gratification and also is just Very Fun) and I know I’m a good writer.

basically, I’ve been doing this for like...half my life, and I’m still fairly young, so I’ve had time to build up my skill and confidence and I know I’m only going to get better with time. you will get better with practice. like I said, I’ve written a lot of terrible stuff, and it’s only through sucking for a long time that I’ve gotten to the point I am now. and I am far from perfect; I know I still have lots of room to grow!

for meta and headcanons specifically, I started with writing fic, and then when I didn’t think I could stretch something into an entire fic I would just make a hc post. I have a vivid memory of writing my first meta in a notebook during driver’s ed because it was so goddamn boring and I had Thoughts about Tauriel and Thranduil!

in my experience, meta comes from having Opinions and wanting to share them and most importantly to back them up - you need to have sources! you need to have reasons! you need to have justification! otherwise it’s not meta, it’s a headcanon or an AU. which is fine!! I love hc/AU!!! but they are not the same as meta, and I’m a stickler for being accurate when it comes to meta. if you have sources and shit to back you up, that will help you build the confidence to share your meta.

sharing disinformation and passing it off as meta instead of just coming out and saying this is a headcanon/baseless theory/AU or whatever is such a fandom pet peeve of mine; it’s not bad for something to not be Accurate! you just have to have that disclaimer - and even when you’re writing meta, you’re offering an interpretation of the text, and you need to acknowledge that other interpretations also exist and are valid.

um. I hope this answers your questions? and sorry for basically word-vomiting my entire life story, lol. this post got long; the main reason I’ve written so much fic is because I really just cannot shut up for the life of me. sooo if you can tear of that filter of being shy and just. say shit. you can go so far~!

OH and one more thing - I can’t believe I almost forgot this - but part of being a writer is participating in the community. this is code for LEAVE A DAMN COMMENT IF YOU LIKE A FIC. that’s how I made most of my fandom friends before Discord! I follow @ao3feed-silmarillion and stalk that blog for new Silm fics; I read the ones that interest me and comment on them.

I know this is not really the most common way for folks to find fic but it’s so rewarding to interact with new fic, new writers, new commentors, new stories - you can find gems that don’t rise to the top of the kudos/bookmark lists; you become friends with your fellow writers; you can watch people grow and change; you support smaller content creators. yeah, you might not be getting Just The Best Stuff, but it’s so so so worth it!!

and if you make friends in the comment section of other people’s fic - I guarantee you some of them will go to your AO3 profile and check out your fic, too! and they’ll leave comments! this is a fic community, and that’s what I cherish about fandom most of all, tbh.

anyway - again - sorry for rambling so much, but I hoped this helped! feel free to send in another ask, or to come talk to me off anon if you’d like! and definitely send me your stuff if/when you decide to share it; I would love to support you!!! <3

#silm #silm fandom #silmarillion #fan culture #tmi anna #(for real this time sjdfhdkfh)#tefain nin #long post #anon #answers

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inspiringwhilerespiring · 4 years

Text

Get to know me?

Yoooo - yall remember Myspace, and people would blog survey posts lol. Well thats me, I’m people. And I just wanna write my lil heart out and avoid all of my real life responsibilities. So found a lil questionnaire thing and I’m gonna fill it out. Also lowkey like doing this every so often so I can look back on it and reflect and see how much I may have grown/changed/shifted viewzzz ya feel? :)

Sooo here yall go <3

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My neice maybe?

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

People who know me would tell me to put outgoing, but I honestly feel shy on the inside, so it just depends.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Literally anyone lmao fuck this quarantine

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Definitely

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Lets hope so

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Kind souls <3 always notice how they talk to their friends and family, but even people they don’t know like servers or janitors, etc. that shit matters heavy.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Probably not

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

A few homies

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Nah not really, just depends

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Not sure -it’s been a min since I had a “deep” connection or convo that I can remember - but was probably with my bestie R’Bo

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Google that shit” lmao me, giving advice to my friends

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

TOUGH!!!! After Hours by The Weeknd is up there, Cayendo by Frank Ocean (been jamming his shit HAARD lately) and Inside Friend by Leon Bridges & John Mayer….but also been listening to albums - like Childish’s new album, Floreyyy for lo-fi shit, and also got into 070 Shake recently just to name a few.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

FUCK YA

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yeah budddyy

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Idk, my bday party was lit?? And lots of river floats happened

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Lol

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Cant deny that there isn’t so yaaa

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yes

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Just moved, so don’t know em

21. What are you bad habits?

Procrastination lol and biting my nails

22. Where would you like to travel?

Literally ANNNYY-fuckin-WHERE!

23. Do you have trust issues?

Hmm I wanna say generally no, but I also always keep it one hunnnid with myself, and as much as I’d like to say I don’t have any - I think I def have insecurities with myself, that have the potential to become “trust issues” in certain relationships, but overall no. I live by the whole “you have my trust til you fuck it up” mantra

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Coffee in the morning lately, missed it and forgot how energized it makes me - gives me time to wake up and reflect/set daily goals

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Stomach forever :((((

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Scroll on my phone, pee usually, or feed my cat lol

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Tanner maybe?

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My mom or my best friend R’Bonney - but any of my close friends and fam honestly

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Not directly

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Lol ok, so this is always changing…but lately (and by lately I mean the past few years) its been a no. I’m open minded though and am aware that I’m always changing my mind sooo who knows

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yeppperoo

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Honestly, those aren’t my “thing” lollike id prob laugh or be awkward or just have to be hellllla drunk - but like I wouldn’t mind Jason Momoa and Tom Hardy tossin me around

33. Spell your name with your chin.

hjaylkee

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Scocer back in the day - actually went and kicked it like a week ago for the first time in YEARSSSS - felt so damn good

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV, music forreeevverrr

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Lol story of my life

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

“Soooo” then probably ask a question or some shit lol

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Hmmm…definitely have to be funny/have a good sense of humor. They’d have to be open-minded for sure. Up for trying new things, places, cultures, food, music, etc. Just have an adventurous spirit I guess when it comes to that. Have a good line of communication/openness - and just be able to have a deep/intellectual convo about anything and everything. Bonuses: taller than me, likes cooking, and going to music shows.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Amazon lol I hate shopping

40. What do you want to do after high school?

To go back to high school :( lmao so much id re-do, cant believe its almost been a decade

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Hell yeah, this is life my dudes, dont take it so seriously - we all fuck up at some point or another

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Something is on my mind for sure, or im just tired lol

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yeah

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

DAMNNN WHAT so hard - I guesss if I had to pick, space…just because it’s more rare/harder to do I’d think.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

My cat lol with his meowing ass

46. What are you paranoid about?

Lowkey a lot lol

47. Have you ever been high?

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Who hasn’t????

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

naw

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black probably, like half my wardrobe

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Of course

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My bad habits

56. Favourite colour?

Yelllllow :)

57. Favourite food?

Oh gaaawwd, literally anything - lately: PB&J’s, fries, wings, Mediterranean, Mexican, pickles, ice cream, ramenzzzz

58. Last thing you ate?

Pistachios

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Cofffeeee w creamer

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Idk, not off the top of my head - maybe something back in elementary

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nah

62. Been arrested? For what?

Yeah lmao

63. Ever been in love?

Yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

No its really not that interesting and idc to type it out

65. Are you hungry right now?

24/7/365

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Lol yes a few of them <333

67. Facebook or Twitter?

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Noooo

70. Names of your bestfriends?

R’Bonney is number 1

71. Craving something? What?

Foooood, and companionship? Lol

72. What colour are your towels?

Idk, random, mostly blue

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

A lot lol

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Lol no, but I have my one from my childhood in my room

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

1 - shout out to you Mr.Fluffy

75. Favourite animal?

I am fascinated by sharks; and like gators/crocs. But I have mad respect for elephants, they’re sooo damn smart and beautiful.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Dont have any on

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

BITCHHHH CHOC

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

All of them

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Tie-dye

80. What colour pants?

none

81. Favourite tv show?

Game of Thrones prob

82. Favourite movie?

Avatar or Shawshank Redemption

87. First person you talked to today?

Sissy

88. Last person you talked to today?

Friend on FT

89. Name a person you hate?

No one, maybe Trump? lol

90. Name a person you love?

Everyone, fr fr

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Nah

92. In a fight with someone?

Nah

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Not enough <3

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Not enough <3

95. Last movie you watched?

The Decline on Netflix, short lil foreign oil, was deep/interesting

96. Favourite actress?

Not sure-Sandra Bullock? Or Meryl

97. Favourite actor?

Denzel or Morgan Freeman

98. Do you tan a lot?

Nah not anymore honestly

99. Have any pets?

Yessss

100. How are you feeling?

Mediocre

101. Do you type fast?

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Im sure

103. Can you spell well?

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Lol im nostalgic af, so yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yes litttty tittyyy

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Probably :(

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Hell yeah brother, I’m from TX

108. What should you be doing?

So much shit lol

109. Is something irritating you right now?

The fact that I ain’t doing all the shit I should be lol

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yooo yes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Prob my sister or my mom?? Lol I cry a lot, idk and idc

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Hayls?

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes

115. Do you play the Wii?

Back in the day

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Surprisingly, no

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Nah, unless maybe if its homemade

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yeah occasionally, more of a Thai food chick or Japanese

119. Favourite book?

Kite Runner

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Low-key sometimes lol

121. Are you mean?

Hell noooo

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Ok, this is an interesting one lol I mean no, it’s not “okay” - since it usually constitutes lying/hiding/hurting someone - BUTTTT, for a lack of a better term - I wanna say it’s “normal”? But thats because I, personally, am on the fence about the concept of monogamy. Like no, I’ve never cheated nor experienced that in return - but the whole concept of monogamy and like that a person can love and only love or be with one person is WILLLLDDD and I can’t help but note that its a social construct that we, as a society, are conditioned to from the time we are born. Idk if that makes sense bc im high af lol but those are my thoughts…like to sum it up - cheating is fucked up and sucks, but at the same time its not all that surprising/shocking anymore, like borderline “normalized” just as divorces are and shit, so I feel like bc biologically we aren’t made to be with one person lol. I don’t condone it tho. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Hell to the naw naw

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Hmmm idk about that one, but also can’t deny it

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yeah of course, you’re talking to a hopeless romantic

126. Are you currently bored?

I guess we could say that

127. What makes you happy?

Food and close, loved ones

128. Would you change your name?

Nah, too much paper work

129. What your zodiac sign?

Cancer, with my lil moody, sensitive ass

130. Do you like subway?

I did lol

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Story of my mf life lol literally all my exes are “best friends turned lovers” situation, so guess it would just depend lmao

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Lol oh godddd; ok off the top of my head - Tupac - Keep Ya Head Up is what comes to mind; just a timeless song and the lyrics are still relevant/apply to this day and idk just really resonate with the message behind that song <3

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Idk, but it was probably SO dumb, and told to my parents lol

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Either or, lately open so my cat can go in and out lol

137. How tall are you?

5’6 mayyybeee 5’5 actually lol

140. Summer or Winter?

Fall!!

141. Night or Day?

Def a lil night owl, always have been

142. Favourite month?

April and October for weather at least

143. Are you a vegetarian?

No but I try, and go through phases, I’m definitely mindful the older I get and more focused on my health I become

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

FUCKIN ALLLLL

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee but I like tea too, just seem to drink coffee more regularly

146. Was today a good day?

The grateful-to-just-be-alive in me wants to say yes lol but idk, felt off/unaccomplished and cried a lot, so no.

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“This too shall pass”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Sure why not

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“After all, what he had always wanted was just that: to know new places.” -The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

#survey #about me #haylee #thoughts #mine #questions #ask me anything #ask #lets chat #be my frieeennnddd

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flowerx-lovex · 4 years

Text

adore 🌟🍃 -Billie Eilish fic-

This was requested by @bratyee and it was such a good ass request ✨ i blow ass bc im so mfing slow I’m sorry 🥺🥺 btw lets say your ass is on stranger things and your best friend is Clairo bc i love her ass💀 basic I know but ily

New text from:

Claire🦋

Claire🦋: oh my god y/n have you fucking seen the interview where billie says your her celeb crush??? omfgggggg

Me: dude what??

Claire🦋: here I’ll send you the link you’re gonna flip tf out (link)

I open the link which takes me to a video of billie and an interviewer from teen vogue

It starts out with her answering questions about her music and what she plans on doing in the future and then it gets to more personal questions

“So we really want to know... who is your celebrity crush?” The interviewer asks her, Billie starts to blush and smirks a little

“Um y/n y/l/n no cap I’m serious I’ve had a crush on her ass since the very beginning of stranger things ugh she could GEETTT ITTTT” she starts laughing

“Oh my god” I say out loud, is she actually serious?

For a couple of months now, ever since ST3 came out, she’s been subtweeting/not so subtweeting about her crush on me which I’ve completely returned the favor too, I mean she’s billie fucking eilish and she’s hot as fuck of course I’m going to flirt back with her even if it’s on public social media

We haven’t talked or anything, I’ve wanted to reach out and say something but my shy ass could never

Some fans have caught on, but some haven’t, and of course the ones who haven’t certainly know now

I immediately close the video and go onto twitter to see if there is any commentary about the interview.. and of course... there is

‘Billie x y/n’ is trending on twitter, shit

I bite my lip and decide to message Claire back

Me: is this shit for real?

Claire🦋: i know it’s crazy asf you two HAVE to meet

Me: are you shitting me? how??

Claire🦋: message her on insta?? duh??

Me: oh shit lmao you right

I quickly go to Instagram but then stop myself, wait what the fuck do I even say? I don’t want to sound weird. What if I say something creepy and then she thinks I’m-

*ding*

Oh shit

billieeilish: hi... so you have probably seen the interview and we are trending rn im sorry if that shit made you uncomfortable

Me: omfg no actually I’m not uncomfortable at all, I’m flattered babe really

billieeilish: are you sure?

Me: very! tbh I’ve had a crush on you since your first album came out 🥺

billieeilish: deadass? you should have said something dude!

Me: ME? omfg im shy asfff and I saw you posting shit about me why didn’t YOU say something?

billieeilish: ...lmao i was scared you’re pretty as fuck

Me: we should like go on a date or some cute shit like that... jk unlessssss

billieeilish: oh my fuck yesssss we definitely should go on a date what are you doing tomorrow??

Me: literally nothing omfg am I actually going to see your ass tomorrow?

billieeilish: do you like coffee shops? let’s go to civil coffee their shit is soooo good and no one ever goes there

Me: adore them

billieeilish: then yeah tf you are seeing my ass tomorrow im about to fall the fuck over i can’t believe I’m going to meet you

Me: aww omfg same 🥰🥰🥰 give me a time and I’ll be there babe

billieeilish: is 10am okay?

Me: it’s perfect I’ll see you there yeah?

billieeilish: of course 🖤

Holy shit this is actually happening, I’m actually going to see her

I text Claire screenshots of the chat and she is legit flipping her shit but then again so am I.

This will be very interesting

*next day*

I drive to the little coffee shop in the lowkey part of town and park in a little parking spot in front of the shop there is hardly anybody here except like 2 old peop- oh my fuck I see her, she’s in the back and she’s sitting alone, aww she looks nervous ugh and I’m already shaking, why am I shaking? She’s a human just like I am... a really cute human, who I happen to have a massive crush on shit okay just chill the fuck out, take a deep breath... let’s go

I get out of my car and take another very shaky breath

I open the shop door and hear a little ding as it opens basically telling everyone I’m here.

Billie looks up when she hears the ding, our eyes meet and she smiles really big, I smile back and wave

I quickly walk over to the table and sit across from her

She’s even prettier in person, her eyes are the most gorgeous shade of blue and she has such a calm yet bold presence, it’s hard to explain but I’m already catching major feels and we haven’t even spoken yet

“Hi i was wondering if i could get your autograph I’m a huge fan” I say jokingly, my cheeks hurt so bad from trying not to smile too hard

She bites her lip, I can see she’s also trying not to smile like a crazy person either

“I can’t believe I’m actually in front of you right now I mean shit oh my god you’re real.” She said laughing, I can see her checking me out, in a flattering way and in an analyzing way

“I hope I didn’t disappoint.” I say and wink, she shakes her head and smirks

“You’re pretty as fuck like my heart hurts oh my god I know that sounds fucking corny.” She says, she smiles and rolls her eyes

“Shush stop you’re gonna make me blush and then I’m going to get really red and ew.” I say with a smile and look away from her for a moment

We talk about a bunch of different things, her music, what she did when she was little, what I did when I was little, why I got into acting, what I think about social media, what she likes and dislikes and a bunch of other random topics. It doesn’t hit me that we’ve been talking for legit hours until I hear a phone.

It’s her phone that starts to ring, she looks at the the screen and then to me

“Oh shit it’s finneas um can you give me a second babe?” She asks me, my heart does a little jump at the nickname

“Of course.” I say with a nod and smile, she smiles back then gets up to go to the bathroom.

I wait there for a couple minutes before she comes back, she doesn’t sit down tho

“I’m so sorry but I have to go, finneas just told me that I have some dumb ass interview tomorrow and I totally forgot about it.” She tells me, my smile drops

I get up from the chair I was in so we are now a little bit closer and face to face

“Okay um do you maybe want to get together again someti-“ she cuts me off before I can finish my sentence

“Uh Fuck yessss” she says, I laugh and nod

“Okay just text me yeah.” I tell her, she nods and bites her lip

I’ve been staring at her lips the entire time we’ve been here, am I honestly THAT whipped already? It’s only been 3 hours

She notices me staring and smirks a bit

“Follow me.” She says, she grabs my hand and our fingers interlock, I follow her as we go out the back door of the coffee shop and we stop at her car

“Get in babe.” She says, I smile and feel my heart start to beat a little faster

I get inside the car and start to laugh a little “What about finneas and your interview?” I ask her still giggling

She also starts to laugh and rolls her eyes

“He’ll have to come find my ass I guess and honestly fuck that interview they just ask you the same shit over and over.” She jokes

After we both got done laughing and calmed down we then sat in a comfortable silence

I can feel the tension growing a little

I look over a little to see her hand resting on her thigh, the rings on her fingers look so good... she looks so good, I bite my lip and start feeling bold

“I honestly really like you.” I say with a slight laugh, the laugh gets cut short because I can feel her hand gently turn my face to hers, our eyes meeting, and I can feel the coldness of her rings, oh shit I’m catching fucking feelings, she rubs my cheek with her thumb and smiles

“Kiss me.. I dare you.” She teases, she licks her lips and pulls her bottom lip between her teeth

My heart is beating fast and I smirk

“And if I don’t?” I ask, she leans in to me, our lips only centimeters apart

“Pussy.” She whispers jokingly, she presses her lips to mine and starts to kiss me softly

She’s so warm and soft, my heart melts and I’m on cloud 9, I’m way too soft for her

She pulls away, both of us a little breathless

She starts to smile which causes me to also smirk a bit

“Wow I guess I really can get it huh.” I say my breath still shaking a bit

“Oh my fucking god shut up, put your seatbelt on we are going on a fucking adventure.” She starts to laugh, she sits back in her seat and turns on the car.

My cheeks are burning and I can’t stop from smiling. She gets on the road and puts on music, she turns it up as loud as she can.

I get my phone from my back pocket and video her and I singing and acting like dumb asses and post it on my insta story and tagging her.... billie x y/n is going to be trending for awhile.

im sorry if this was bad 🥴 ew and I’m so slow lmao okay anyways 💞✨✨💞💞 😌oof and she’s(the story) also long tho

#billie eilish fics #billie #eilish #billie eilish #fic #cute #writing #imagine #im slow

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mieczyhale · 4 years

Text

a messy explanation of things and unnecessary information about life lately

soooo... right. i’m sorry i haven’t really been around aside from popping in here and there, and that i’ve been taking longer than usual to reply to things / not replying to things at all. it’s NOT that i’m upset with anyone or trying to ignore / avoid anyone, and it’s not that i don’t care / don’t love talking to you (whomstever you may be) i love chatting with y’all and wish i could get myself to reply to things quicker but i do not control the me lmfao honestly my sleep has never had a schedule but in recent weeks it’s kinda been operating like there’s a lil gremlin in my head who spins a wheel and picks my sleeping times at random - and it’s either like.. two hours or most of a day. there hasn’t been a lot of in between so that’s a thing!!

also in a fun added mix of maybe sleep?, missing meds, being stuck in the house more often than not, and the FUCKING EVERYTHING happening in the world right now my mental health is... probably run by the same goblin that runs my sleep schedule lmao consistency whomst?? since the lockdown started the depression has of course been around more but actually, worse than that, is how my anxiety - and by extension: my ocd - have really amped up and i need y’all to know that the struggle is painfully real (and another thing that affects shit like my replies and writing. reading as well. fics have been kinda stressful and that should be illegal. who authorized this?) i don’t hate talking about it but i don’t really like it either?? especially like.. in depth. but i will say there has been crying, screaming, pain!, and i’ve acquired a few physical injuries.

yeah

on a personal level - a ‘just me’ level - shit is an even bigger mess than usual lmao but all these things will get better eventually - they always do.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

NOW

ON A PERSONAL LEVEL - THE FULL LEVEL - THINGS.... are pretty great actually! i mean aside from the state of my fucking house e__e but Josh has been working from home for two (2) months now and it’s been really nice - people complaining about their partners being home?? can’t relate. yknow what?? i just might love that tall bastard even more from all this.fuck all y’all miserable fucks

we’ve been going out for drives and we’ve gone fishing and the only place i’ve gone too that’s re-opened is goodwill. because i require.. the shop. they do have a masks required rule! (at least at the one here) and, alongside that, the places we’ve gone that never closed (like grocery stores and the gas station and the hardware store) have social distancing rules and stuff in place which i love. can we keep social distancing after this is all over?? more things here in wisconsin are opening up and we might go to some. idk though. we also might not. either way its still a weird kind of exciting to see things opening back up?? even though i do think we’re not totally in the clear because most of our gov. sucks (our mayor tried to extend our stay-at-home order - keyword there is TRIED. we are the land of cheese, cows, and no fucking braincells for anyone)

having pets is obviously not a new thing for me but it’s still a thing. so it takes time and effort and energy and patience and love and a certain disregard for your own safety (claws. they really be as sharp as you think) so... it can be stressful, especially cuz we’ve had to keep them inside more as it gets hot out and something keeps breaking our porch screens (our cats are allowed onto our screened in porch or they can go out in a harness but we will never let them run free outside. fuck that noise) my bbies are all so cute and their personalities and idiosyncrasies are just... *chefs kiss* i love em and they’re definitely a part of what has made quarantine better

i’ve seen my mom a few times, like for my birthday and when she needed help moving Isaiah from one dorm to another and such, but that’s primarily been an option because she has become anti-mask and anti-stay-at-home-order. initially she wasn’t - she gave Isaiah and i fun lil masks since at that time trying to buy them would be impossible and she thought nothing of staying home - but i guess either as its dragged on or as she’s consumed her middle-right wing news that changed s o. she does take social distancing in public very seriously though, so at least there’s that. our favorite coffee shop, where we - pre-lockdown - always went one (1) or two (2) times a week to do art for hours re-opens on monday and that’s one of the few things i’ve truly missed.

josh’s camping trip for this weekend with his friends had to be cancelled because the parks weren’t going to open in time. so today they’re going somewhere to do at least some of the things they would have done if they had gone camping. bikes, bonfires, and cigars. i’m kinda jealous negl but he was really excited about it so mostly i’m happy

trying to figure out how human services was running things during lockdown was rough but thankfully it didn’t take much to get it sorted. mostly because my mom made the phone call i was supposed to lol (the phone anxiety is on its own level) so wednesday afternoon my mom sat with me while i had the appointment with my psychiatrist over speakerphone (which was.. an experience)

ummm.....

OH YEAH! Probably absolutely my favorite thing that’s happened is: WE’RE STARTING THE SEARCH FOR A NEW HOUSE!!!! it doesn’t mean we’re gonna be moving soon or anything, we don’t want to make the same mistake twice (buying the first house you tour that you love) because while it is a great house ultimately it is way too small for us. i mean there’s me and josh, all six cats, and ALL OUR SHIT. listen: i have an entire room dedicated to my various hobbies. and a walk in closet that isn’t big enough. and we both have collections we love and want to display (right now upstairs its hello kitty and downstairs its astronomy and the titanic. and then there’s pop figures, mtg, collectibles, our bottle collection and various knickknacks, etc.) plus all our books! then furniture and cat furniture (i.e towers) and all their shit because they are spoiled babies. and god forbid we ever have a human kid?? yeah. it’s just not big enough.

so we’re gonna take more time with this choice but what we do know is:: we wanna live out in the country (i’m paranoid and don’t like to be looked at and he loves the outdoors, lived on a farm for awhile. i also enjoy the outdoors but mostly since we moved into this house i’ve struggled with doing anything outside... while we only have one neighbor on our road. but there’s one across the road and one at the other side of our backyard and that’s just too much lol)

lets see.. um.... my birthday was may 2nd and that was pretty nice, for a pandemic birthday. there’s been a lot of stuff happening involving josh’s family but that’s not something i really wanna get into on here, tho i will say things have been better in recent weeks and it’s been... really nice. josh and i went to his mom’s house the other night and got drunk with her for fun and i actually had a really good time?? and didn’t complain about going?? that’s kinda unheard of.

i don’t have a job anymore - haven’t since early march-ish - and it kinda sucks but also the universe really did me a solid because my choices were either allow myself to work until i have a mental break again or quit. and i was leaning towards quitting (things had been going down hill with the owner and other employees and just the business as a whole for awhile and there’s a limit to the amount of bullshit i can take thanks) but now it doesn’t seem i have to. why do i think i’m jobless? i was barely working anyway, bc of the snow business was slow, and in march i got really sick and stayed home for a week. the day i was supposed to go back i was still sick, and covid19 was starting to become more of a serious situation everywhere, so josh called in for me and explained that between still being sick and my anxiety over covid (asthma + a not so great immune system) i wasn’t going in that day. i never heard from them again. so.

but it’s all good - there are some options but i’m not looking into them seriously until it’s safe to.

THAT’S ALL OF FUCKING THAT ON THAT

i felt it wouldn’t be a bad idea to come on here and explain A. what’s been going on and B. where i’ve been and C. that if i haven’t responded to you or acknowledged something you sent me / tagged me in it’s literally just because i either forgot to (for all reasons and none) or i don’t have the mental space / energy to. but that doesn’t mean you have to stop talking to me! even if i don’t respond or respond immediately i do read everything and i would die for any one of you fuckers (especially my clowns and the tom hardy movie)

oh! and just btw - sometimes i don’t get notifications (quelle surprise) tumblr and skype should really pair up and talk about their truly great systems that function so well /s 8| ANYWAY: the best and most reliable ways to get my attention are twitter ( @/mieczyhale) and discord (same name) because i have yet to see their notifications fail. ahem.

i feel like i’m missing things / forgetting things but honestly this post is long enough and also enough of a rambley mess that i’m just gonna try and ignore that feeling and carry on with my goddamn day so i might actually accomplish something. sorry if there’s spelling off or missing words. i’m not taking the time to re-read this and might even delete it bc it’s already giving me anxiety bUT WE’LL SEE ALRIGHT HI AND BYE I LOVE YOU GUYS <3

#might delete later?? probably?? havent decided.#maison speaks #tinysquidrachel

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ridetobeatthedevil · 4 years

Note

i read your tags on that one discourse post and i agree so much..i really wish the movies wouldve showed the exceptionalness of the losers club and the Shining and stuff. is there anything else you'd change about the movies if you could?

ah i’m glad you agree! hmm so let’s see:

1. yeah like i said, i definitely Hate the fact that the adult losers were made to fight and yell at mike instead of just agreeing to come together and do what they had to do like in the book. and i Hate that they weren’t portrayed as the predestined ones that had been handpicked to defeat the stupid clown

2. i’d bring mike’s wonderful parents back, but that one has been talked to death lol. why delete one of the two (2) good parents? why do the drug addict thing??

3. adult eddie was...not the best. i’m not one of those people who’s super mad about it and tbh i don’t think most of it is ransone’s fault, but i didn’t like that eddie was portrayed as being timid. is eddie scared? yes. is eddie small? yes. is there a level of regression that he experiences when he comes back to derry that makes him act kind of childish? yes. but eddie kaspbrak was never, never timid. eddie wasn’t the reckless, impulsive kind of brave like bill, but he was the kind of brave that was stronger than his terror, the kind of brave that acts despite fear, the kind of brave that thinks “not this time...not if my friends need me!” that eddie, real eddie, would’ve been right there with bill to help save richie from spiderstan and we all know it

4. mike should’ve had 1) a memory when they were looking for their tokens and 2) an individual situation with pennywise in the lair, just like the other five. i understand that the movie was already hella long but make it just seven minutes longer! don’t shortchange the dude that the entire movie revolves around! the same dude that got shortchanged last time too! that being said i am so so so grateful that muschietti deviated from the book and didn’t have mike almost get murdered by bowers and spend the final fight in the hospital. i was P I S S E D about that when i read it for the first time. no amount of saving him through the power of Loser Love could remedy the fact that only five went down into the sewers, STEPHEN.

5. wish we coulda seen some of the canonical love for my boy bill! there’s an awful lot of people exasperated at him in the movies which is fair, but those kids (and later adults) loved the absolute shit out of him and i wish we could’ve seen that with more than just bev and mike

6. justice for the parallel between georgie kissing bill’s cheek before dying and then 27 years later bill kissing mike’s cheek before they all split and forgot each other forever!!!!! woulda been good. woulda been wonderful.

that’s all i can think of right now! BUT i am a sucker for the movies and i love them a lot so now i’m gonna tell you all the changes that i LOVED! which i realize is way more than you asked for, but i feel like rambling today so i’m gonna do it anyway:

1. like i said, mike in the final fight. thank you andres!

2. having a tame little bill/bev kiss instead of any gross ass cheating. and i liked the way they nodded at that “closing the circle between the past and present” thing from the book by having the adult kiss perfectly parallel the kid kiss, including bev curling her hands into fists and then putting one palm on bill’s cheek where she had smeared blood 27 years before. that was perfect

3. stan actually being around all the time! anyone who’s read the book knows that stephen would legit forget about stan every 150 pages or so and just have him.........not be there. he’d just be gone for no reason with no mention of his name (cocaine is a hell of a drug, kids). so i loved that stan was just as Present as everyone else in the movies and that one scene he got in IT 2017 where he gets separated from the losers and is screaming in terror while they all tell him how much they love him and that they’d never leave him was just...beautiful. it might be my fav movie scene of all

4. not having the ritual of chüd in IT 2017 was a good call. i’ve said over and over that IT is not an adaptable book and one of the reasons is because it’s so interwoven as the narrative switches back and forth between 1958 and 1985 at the drop of a hat. it gets even more interwoven as they get to the final fight, going from the kid fight to the adult fight sometimes even at the rate of a paragraph at a time. both chüds happen at the same time which you couldn’t do in a movie, so i’m glad they just bypassed chüd in IT 2017 and left it to be the big Final Fight when they were adults. i know lots of people hate the way muschietti did the ritual but like.....how the fuck was he supposed to portray some metaphysical, tongue-biting, it’s-all-happening-in-our-heads-as-we-get-pulled-out-to-the-edges-of-the-universe, cocaine-laced melee that really could only exist on paper? give him a break...he did his best lmao

5. confirming that richie is gay!!!! like we been knew but it was cool that they made the subtext into actual text...not a lot of book-to-movie adaptations do that

6. most of what they did with richie tbh. he was a bit of a mess in the book (like don’t get me wrong, he was mostly a pretty good friend and i like him but the racism...whew. beep beep richie, indeed) and i like how they remade him in the movie. he went from being offensive to just annoying and it was perfect lol

7. this isn’t one of the changes i like better than the book, per se, but it’s a change i’ve seen people complain about that i’m actually 100% okay with: i’m totally fine with bill having lied to georgie about being sick. this is both because i’m an ANGSTY BITCH and bill is my favorite so adding to his trauma and guilt complex speaks to me (sorry bill), and because it really and truly cuts to the heart of the issue: that bill is a good fucking big brother. two things can exist at once, that bill lied to georgie and that he was a good brother. having mcavoy!bill tell jaeden!bill that just because he didn’t want to play on a rainy day one time, it doesn’t mean he’s a bad person or a bad brother (”and it never did!”) is just. wow. that’s exactly the kind of absolution i wanted for bill and i’m totally fine with it!

8. HAVING THEM ALL REMEMBER EACH OTHER! GOD BLESS. i knew they’d make that change and yet i still wept over it like the fucking baby that i am

umm yeah sorry i think i’m done now. this is SOOOO much more than what you asked for, but apparently i have Thoughts today. thank u.

#answered #i love the book! i love the movies! i love the losers!#discourse #novel

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nikatyler · 5 years

Photo

*gasp* a replies post! A long replies post! A long replies post where I overshare again! *o* Yeah I kinda missed doing these. I’m now at home, but won’t be for much longer. First, I’m going to meet some of my new classmates on Friday and I’ll spend the whole weekend with them! We’re going somewhere...well I don’t even know where that is, just that it’s in nature and I’ve never been there before! Thank gods we’re meeting at the main station in Prague, or else I wouldn’t get there myself. Then on Moday, I have to go to my uni, and then once more on Wednesday I think? And on Wednesday, I’ll have to wake up at 4 am. my LiFe Is SoOoOOOoO HaRd oH mY gOd. No, I’ll be fine.

And a month from now, I’ll be moving to my dorm. That’s some crazy stuff. I can’t believe it’s happening. Last week, my dad actually took me to Prague and we went to see where it is. The location reminds me a lot of my home, but I won’t tell you what exactly that is because no one needs to know that. Anyway, school starts in October. I’m actually looking forward to studying, but the “living alone in a big city with people I’ve never seen before” part is scary. D: I’ll give you updates.

Anyway, today was a weird day. First, I sat alone by the lake when these two guys came and talked to me (I didn’t mind that actually, they were kinda nice), then when I got up and said I had to go home, one of them complimented my legs...which would’ve been really nice but then he basically implied he’d go to bed with me...and like literally five minutes ago he said he had a girlfriend...basically men are scary. Then later, mum and I went grocery shopping and I saw my middle school crush with his girlfriend...and decided that his girlfriend is cute, way cuter than him actually...bisexual culture I guess, crushing on your middle school crush’s girlfriend lmao. Then we went to pay for our groceries and the cashier...was my childhood friend who also happened to be my first crush and also my last crush and these days I’m wondering if I’m really crushing on him or if I’m just holding onto him because I don’t know any better. Long story but if you ever feel like I have a thing for childhood friends to lovers trope, maybe blame him.

Wow. Oversharing much? Let’s get to those replies then, before I tell you what colour my underwear is or something.

Also!! Stream Lover. You won’t regret it.

volcanopasta replied to your photoset “@ ea guess what we still don’t have in ts4”

I miss spooning

I feel like that’s one of those little things half of the community misses. ;-;

simlishprincess replied to your photoset “MAGNOLIA???”

she’s morphing

She’s broken like this really often and it scares me :D

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Vanessa: “So do you forgive me?” Gwyneth: “Of course I do. I must...”

Lol, a bpr founder telling thez plan no more children, they are so funny

These sims have no clue what I have in store

And just you wait for gen 2

Just you wait

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “There it is. Wonder what she could use the computer for…;) (no, I...”

Well I can`t say this is surprisingXD

Yeah...do most people go for purple? At least most bpr people I follow/followed went for this colour :D I also wanted to do this thing where the founder chooses the pink person, but the heir is purple. Idk why, I just wanted it to be like that haha

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Uhh oh hi again. You guys are seeing this right after the last post,...”

Jeez, Vanessa looks like that liquid Terminaor from Terninator 2.Funnily enough he was posing as a police officerXD

Lol I have no idea what you’re talking about because I’m bad at watching iconic movies (read as: I haven’t watched any of the movies that people think everyone has watched :’D) but I’ll believe you lmao

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “I really can’t justify this, can I? Listen, I have to stay true to my...”

Sometimes the aliens won't let you go even if you want to.

Oh you’re right

create-a-sim replied to your photoset “She traded her policeman hat for a fishnet top. Fashion, you know.”

me as a policeman

Saaaame

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “You know how I said I couldn’t justify this? Well…Alexa play Oops I...”

Yeah, make Roxanne that purple sibling/s

Careful what you wish for 👀

dandylion240 replied to your post “The power of what sharing a worry with someone can do amazes me, as a...”

Awe I'm glad you didn't delete without telling anyone. You would have been missed. But you're not the only one who thinks about doing that though.

I love seeing you on my dash ❤️

1o8percent replied to your post “The power of what sharing a worry with someone can do amazes me, as a...”

I’m glad that sharing your worries was able to help you. Simblr can be overwhelming and well life in general can be too. It’s nice to have someone to let it out to. I’m glad you’re still around!

♥♥♥

Thank you guys so much. This happens to me from time to time, but it’s never been this bad.

desira-sims replied to your post “Random thoughts and ideas: NSB, BC and my hair (again)”

I’m slowly working through the sentence starters too. I didn’t realize quite how difficult some of them would be. Lol

Same! I might incorporate one of them into my yellow gen because it would fit there perfectly. God I’m really going to milk this one awful awful event for angst huh. That will be frowned upon. As for the other...I have an idea for it but it doesn’t fit the og Raleb timeline at all (it was for them) and I want it to be canon...like I kinda just don’t want to call it an AU, but I guess I’ll have to.

aiseinei replied to your photoset “Eden: “Ughhh oh my god my life is soooo hard!”

I would be too if I was stuck staring pink in the mirror for the rest of my life �� no very cute!

Oof same haha. One of the reasons why I was hesitant about starting BPR was the pink :D

And then I went and made my founder marry a pink sim and have four pink children with her, because that makes sense. I love making myself suffer, yay!

Thank you, btw!

medleymisty replied to your post “I'm not saying I want to re-read my entire NSB but...I kinda do. Will...”

*hugs* We're our own worst critics. I used to cringe at my old stuff too, but really it was decent. I might have learned more since then, but it was still good. I'm glad you can see the good in yours. :)

I’m definitely not as hard at my younger self anymore. I went and read some of my stories written when I was 13-14, and I tried to look at it that way. They weren’t perfect, but maybe they were good for a child of that age. I mean, I always got good grades on my writing homework, and my teachers have always liked how I worked with words, so...yeah, it’s not perfect, but I’m not going to have perfectly fleshed out characters and storylines when I have barely even understood that the world isn’t just black and white, good and evil. There are shades inbetween.

That got deep again but I have a lot of feelings about this and I’m sorry to my younger writer self for how I’ve treated her. Keep going, kid.

xiapxls replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me! Whenever I come across a new blog I'm interested in I always read everything before I hit follow

whysimstho replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

It was how I found your blog actually!

yamekamerainbows27 replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I have! ✋✋

elisabettasims replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I feel like I read over 90% of it?

dandylion240 replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me. Was in love with Ross since he was born in game. He was such a lil cutie!!

desira-sims replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

Me! Came across a Ross and Caleb post and went back to the beginning to read it all.

1o8percent replied to your post “Well, of course my bad wifi had to ruin everything. I guess I will go...”

I have ��

Wooow there’s a lot of you. And you stuck with me through the bad and the worse, through all the dumb ideas I got...thank you. Seriously, thank you. There’s more in store, I promise.

You’ll want to punch me in the face eventually, I’m just saying.

Speaking of punching someone in the face, yesterday I was waiting for my hair to dry and I thought hmm, let’s go read gen 2 of my NSB. And...I knew Ross was an idiot when he was young, but I forgot he was that bad. I’m glad none of us accepted it and we only collectively forgave him when he got his crap together. Yay. Also yay we didn’t cancel him because cancel culture is disgusting, people can learn from their mistakes.

I’m going off topic again. That happens when I’m in a good mood.

elisabettasims replied to your post “Let's play a game, "how many more curly maxis match hair can I...”

It's true, there is never enough.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Let's play a game, "how many more curly maxis match hair can I...”

There is never enough

Glad we’re on the same page haha

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “��”

Yes, tumblr finally stopped bullying me and send my ask!

Yay tumblr, it got its crap together for once!

No, jokes aside, if you ever send me an ask and I don’t respond, feel free to send it again. I think I got better at answering my asks fast, so you can definitely tell by that. Also, if I answer everyone else’s and not yours...that’s also a sign because I hardly ever keep asks private (unless I’ve been asked to do so, then I’ll always respect your wish!)

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “I have to catch a bus in like ten minutes but here’s what I’ve been...”

This hairstyle suits Ross!

It kinda really does?? It was also the closest I could get to his ts4 one haha.

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Contestant number seven has arrived! Talia: “Is everything alright?...”

god yeah as an experienced bc player i feel that, introductions take SO long and get SO annoying

I had an “ok I’m never doing this again” moment with literally every contestant because 1) it was taking forever and 2) making ten different and yet still entertaining dialogues was hard

And I write a lot so you’d say that would be easy for me, but nope :’D

doka-chan replied to your post “I don't know how many of you are interested in my book...”

Book recommendations are always a plus. Thank you ! :)

I like them too! Not only because, well, I get a book recommendation, but also because I’m always curious about what people read haha.

vintageplumbobs replied to your post “Just queued episode 2 of the BC and one of the posts got flagged…wanna...”

Not all of us have time for breakfast! I can’t be looking at that in the staff kitchen! People will riot! ��

Oh that’s right, forgive me tumblr, I have sinned

desira-sims replied to your post “But I’ve never told you that before.” Caleb and Ross, please? ��”

That is the sweetest thing ever. ��

dandylion240 replied to your post “But I’ve never told you that before.” Caleb and Ross, please? ��”

I love it ❤️

Thank you guys ;-; ♥ I loved writing this so much. It gave me that nice warm feeling inside, you know what I mean? They make me so happy! ;-;

wcif a vampire best friend that would eventually end up marrying me?

dandylion240 replied to your post “Just queued episode 2 of the BC and one of the posts got flagged…wanna...”

Every single post of Emerson bc was flagged and they weren’t nsfw either mostly

Yeah, this is so weird...I know people say it happens when the picture has a lot of “skintone” coloured pixels...but that’s not always the case with my flagged posts??

Also (I’ll never shut up about this)...why is there a female-presenting nipples rule when it clearly can’t ever tell female and male nipples apart? I’m just saying. And yes I get it, for AI it sure has to be difficult to tell such things apart but in my opinion that’s exactly why they should get rid of it and only incorporate it when it can tell it apart. Actually, hold on, nope. The nipple rule is stupid no matter what gender the nipple is.

And I’ve just used the word nipple more times than ever before in my nineteen-something years long life.

desira-sims replied to your photoset “Some more pictures of Aretha ♥”

She's so pretty

Thank you! ♥ I’m happy with how she turned out.

vintageplumbobs replied to your photoset “I did not forget about those townie makeovers! @epicvictoria suggested...”

That style really suits her. But then...maybe I’m biased...

I think it suits her way better than her original outfits too, but same, I might be biased...vintage/retro aesthetic is my jam.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “How to tell which characters are my favourite? Well, they probably...”

Looking good!

omiscanking replied to your photoset “How to tell which characters are my favourite? Well, they probably...”

I'm scrEAMINGGGG

Haha thank you! I hope it’s a good kind of screaming :D

toxoplasmajuice replied to your post “Thoughts?”

screenshots are cool and all but i say if you wanna rely more on text then go for it! especially if you've figured out that taking all those screenshots is an obstacle for you - do what works best for you, you know?

doka-chan replied to your post “Thoughts?”

For me a story is up to its writer. I don't mind only one picture with a huge text, or the contrary a lot of picture with little to no text. As long as we got attached to the characters, it's not important, as long as it's progressing and understandable.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Thoughts?”

I don’t mind reading a lot of text. Pics are always second to the story to me.

desira-sims replied to your post “Thoughts?”

I sort of think there should be a balance. No, not everything needs to be shown as a ss, but it should be more than one photo for a wall of text.

Thank you for your feedback! I think it would be no more than one Word page of text. Which is a lot still but I think that’s the maximum I’d go for. And I mean, I’d show all the important moments. It’s just, I guess I don’t need ten different pictures of the same conversation when these people are just standing next to each other. And it doesn’t need to be split into ten different posts either.

I’ll figure it out, don’t worry.

deathflowertea replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

TS4 looks good on her! ��

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

Cute!

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “the softest bean �� alternate, boring caption: So I finally decided to...”

I love her!!

Thank you guys! I really like how she turned out too.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “I'm thinking of starting something like "random facts about..." tags...”

I do love when people talk about their characters and stories! It makes OCs more real and all the small details are just adorable!

Me too. I want to know all the details. Tell me how you came up with this or that. Tell me what inspired you to do this. Tell me which song you associate with them. Tell me little things like what shower gel they’re using. I JUST LOVE OCS OKAY

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photo “Nicky: “This is a tragedy. Can I burn my picture before anyone sees...”

me whenever i finish a drawing

big relatable mood

create-a-sim replied to your post “list 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box for...”

I love good lyrics as well ;)

I’ve recently found a lot of appreciation for lyrics that seem simple, but then you get into them or read some behind the scenes facts and realize they’re not as simple as they might seem. Then I feel like the person who wrote it is a genius.

ineptbubbles replied to your photoset “Could I ever get bored of her? Nope. Could I ever get bored of making...”

Omgosh I love that shirt!!

Me toooo and I need one irl ;-; But I mean, I’ve told my sister so many times this week, maybe when my birthday comes around in December, she’ll remember and she’ll tell my parents I want it? :D I mean I could just ask them for that myself but I just know I’d be embarrassed for some reason.

mlpsimmer replied to your photoset “Roxanne: “Dad, what are you doing here?! You told me you were supposed...”

Your sims are gorgeous!

Thank you so muuuuch! ♥

desira-sims replied to your post “Fluff sentence starter 16. “Do you think the moon is jealous of how...”

These two. �� My heart. I just love them.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Fluff sentence starter 16. “Do you think the moon is jealous of how...”

I love this thank you ❤️

Same. They borrowed my heart, said they’d give it back and then ran away with it and I never saw it again. smh guys, stealing isn’t nice

And no, thank YOU for making me write this ♥

mlpsimmer replied to your post “Tumblr……..your protect-kids-from-seeing-nipples algorithm still isn’t...”

It happened to one of my drafts, which was never published. They were fully dressed, too! It's a little annoying.

Yeah, I just talked about this above in a reply to an older comment. It’s...ugh tumblr, what is u doing

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serenagaywaterford · 4 years

Text

@volatilelovers replied to your photoset “ok so like i had a totally other purpose cos it was about me walkin...”

Ok 1) bra deets 2) I want ur dog I'm sorry I just I want to steal him 3) is this like no make up challenge? Hashtag real lesbian bodies? The airbrushing drives me nuts and soooo much so called lesbian content on tumblr is not realistic and therefore kinda lame imo but it's better than nothing. An embodiment person I follow started a series where ppl send in photos of different parts of their own body and idk this remind me of that. That and thirst trap obviously lmao

1) Puma! from Winners lol. It is SO comfy, ngl. The cups are those annoying bikini type removable ones and they can shift a bit but it’s nice and tight, but not too tight. I mean, Puma don’t make the most long-lasting, durable undies but they’re nice while they last.

https://www.amazon.com/PUMA-Womens-Seamless-Graphic-Crossback/dp/B07XYGGLWM

Puma fits small tho. Like this was a medium, and it’s a bit small. And I’m just a regular 34-B/C (depending on the damn company ofc).

I actually bought it cos of what we were talking about the other day and I was like “i need more sportsbras. sore boobies need gentleness, no more underwires.” (and i gotta say it has helped a lot it seems.) i honestly haven’t really worn sportsbras regularly since...like high school...... so this is all new haha. altho i’m now in the state where if i don’t have to wear a bra at all i won’t. (very different to even 5 years ago when i’d never NOT wear one, even to bed.)

2) he is stupid you can have him lol he has bad breath and won’t stop snuggling and licking toes. he’s a toe licker. he won’t give kisses anywhere else but if you have bare feet watch out. it’s disgusting lol

3) honestly i think that should be a hashtag. i mean so much of the “lesbian content” i post photowise is these perfectly shaped, photoshopped, etc women. probably most of whom aren’t even gay half the time. (the older ones i believe, and they tend to show more real bodies in older women. cos older women aren’t meant to fit in the ~tumblr aesthetic~ anyway.) but with the exception of one or two selfies, i don’t often see actual lesbian bodies here. lots of heavily filtered, posed, aesthetic photos of 18 year olds with perfect bodies. which is like... not most of us? and to be totally frank, it took me so fucking long to be ok with my body and it wasn’t until i really accepted who i was (AND be around other women consistently naked and had it not matter to them) that i even was comfortable with it. like i’ve always been so, not ashamed, but shy. (and i know if you saw photos from when i was 19 and walking around in like no clothes you’d be like “are you sure? cos you look pretty confident in that teeny bikini or dress.” but inside i was very much not confident. i did it to fit in and be popular lol. sweet sweet (fake) validation, babey!). the self love that comes with being with other women is incredible. anyway yeah so like i know how my body DOESN’T fit into the ideal aesthetic (and i’ve had plenty of comments in the past irl about my lack of “womanly”/”child bearing” hips, skinny arms, etc etc. the hip thing always kind of made me laugh tho cos i am always like “well, nature knows! good thing i never want kids then if i don’t have the hips for it!!”) but i think it’s important for people to see regular bodies around. like yeah? a little tummy? i used to be devastated by that (and doctors thought i had an ED cos of it) but i’ve come to accept that it ain’t going anywhere cos i’m a female and that’s just how it’s meant to be. esp as we get older. (and my wife insists it’s cute. cos i was skinnier when i met her and she’s like “you look so much better now”, which is similar to the time i lost a lot of weight to get rid of that tummy specifically cos it’s used to be a Big Thing I Hated, and once i put back on some weight my granny was like “oh thank god. you looked really sick before”.) and esp when you come from a culture that doesn’t have more body acceptance. like the first time i went to iceland and to the pool and all the women were just wandering around naked, in all ages and forms, and with zero shame, i wa slike WHAT IS THIS WORLD??? it was baffling to me. cos even in change rooms here it’s quite i dunno hush hush (altho not men’s locker rooms cos i’ve spent a lot of time in those when i was the only girl on the hockey team and they’re just boldly naked and don’t give a single fuck. but women’s lockerrooms? always a bit more...i dunno.). except old ladies who don’t give any shits whatsoever. but all ages there, just going about their business--and i STILL felt insecure which is crazy. i was stared at more for NOT being buttnaked. even the kids were like “wtf”. i want that sort of casual, easy body acceptance and lack of fear of judgement. and i didn’t even shave my pits here (it’s been weeks)... and i forgot until i posted the photos... and then i realised, it seems really obvious to me irl but then i look at the photos, and i’m like “shit, it’s not really noticeable is it? i’ve been freaking out all this time over nothing???” that was pretty stunning tbh. i didn’t realise til i took the photo that it’s not this massive deal. anyway i’m just sort of sick of the “young, thin, hyper-feminine so-called lesbian with long straight hair and sexy undies” ideal (esp when softly touching other young, thin, feminine so-called lesbians). my god just searching “lesbian” on this hellsite is 95% that exact content (that isn’t a comic or illustration which is the only way to see real bodies lol how ironic). god forbid there’s a butch in sight, even a soft butch, or normal body, or natural bush/hair, or tomboy that isn’t super feminine. (the only tomboys allowed are the cute ones with the hipster shirts and backwards ballcap with long hair and perfect eyeliner). we get the occasional professional athlete but that’s it. (where are the regular athletic women, the sporty, muscular women, not hyper-feminine tomboys? where are the stone butches and big old ‘i don’t give a shit bout anything’ dykes? the women who exist outside the ideal BMI and age range? nowhere. cos it doesn’t fit the virgin tumblr aesthetic. it’s not “pleasing” to the majority of users here cos they’re so accustomed to only seeing one type of “lesbian”) but beggars can’t be choosers. and so i reblog the slight bit of shit we do get lol. i dunno, if i was an 18 yr old lesbian i’d be so worried cos i don’t look anything like these girls and no one else i know is either. so just a regular ole boring lesbian body here and it’s imperfect by social standards but it’s fine by my own. tbh i think it’s pretty cool that normal people send in photos of their bodies, just regular, imperfect, everyday people to counteract the mass of bullshit on social media where everyone is so fucking fake. (i assume that’s what you mean by the blogger you mention. i’m guessing it’s not photos of perfect, filter-heavy body parts etc.) and i think in a weird way, being seen --not necessarily validated for it tho-- helps your own ability to appreciate yourself. like not hiding it. just taking that step and posting “this is my leg” esp if you’ve been insecure about it. and you don’t even need the “omg what a beautiful leg! leg power!” sort of social media cheap validation stuff. just the act of posting it. (and i mean...i don’t mean porny, thirst photos to get likes. just... you know normal shit. although i would TOTALLY post my bush if it was allowed just to knock it home that it’s natural. and NICE. and we need to see it more. and i don’t mean in a porn way either. but in the way we see women in art or science books. nonsexual. like that goop episode LMAOOOOO) just as a “this is what it is”. and we all need a little more bodylove i think. and it’s hard to do that when all you see is the insta and tumblr ideal aesthetics absolutely constantly. but i mean i really did just want to show off the bra ...which then turned into showing off the dog lolololol cos he’s ridiculous.

#volatilelovers #not to be a bitch but sometimes i think there are a lot of people who just reblog these photos for the aesthetic quality #and have never actually even been naked with another woman before #and this bombardment of this 'ideal' only propagates that dangerous ideal and isolates anyone who doesn't 'fit' it #which is ... i'd say #at least 80% of tumblr users.#i used to follow a few girls who were the walking tumblr lesbian aesthetic so they do exist... just not en masse.#there's nothing wrong with appreciating beautiful things and lovely aesthetics... just it's become a little too pervasive??

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white-manz-whore · 5 years

Text

wednesday august 21st, 2019

part 2 of today: brandon = cancelled

to pick up where i left off in the last section. i THOUGHT Brandon was not a fuckboi. i think I've mentioned that he kind of looks like one, but he could never be one, right? I've seen him be really sweet and blah, blah, blah. I literally blinded myself and just made myself believe what I wanted to be the truth.

actually wait im getting ahead of myself. like I said, I'm kind of skipping around today going back and forth in time.

so back to me working self check out today. I saw Brandon. and I think I saw him get teased ???? what had happened was ... I saw his friend, the one who was there when I told Brandon that I find him cute. I made clear eye contact with is friend for a solid second. but I didn’t see Brandon so I was lowkey sad and thought maybe he wasn’t working today ??? but then I saw him lol. after I lost eye contact with his friend he walked back and said something to Brandon. after that, brandon *harshly but playfully* pushes his friend, who then proceeds to look at me. now, it could truly all be in my head and maybe it is just a stretch but it seems like he was teasing him. at this point I was like, am I over Brandon ??? nopeeeee.

so now, we fast forward to my lunch. I had a much needed conversation with carl about Brandon. he mentioned how I never gave him a straight answer yesterday. to recall, he asked me if I wanted him to introduce me to Brandon. well I told him that I didn’t know, he asked me if I wanted to know more about Brandon. obviously I said yes.

in short, as it turns out brandon IS indeed a fuck boy. like I mentioned earlier, sure he kind of does look like one. but I convinced myself that he wasn’t one. I don’t know why I did that because I truly don’t know anything about him.

this next part might be all over the place because I'm just writing what I remember from the conversation / what I was thinking about it all:

one of the first things that carl told me about Brandon is that he’s vain. he's soooo vain. he told me that he has been with Brandon where he has asked girls what they think about him ??? this part had me a bit confused I didn’t ask for more details. I'm assuming he flirted with customers (or they flirted with him) and he asked them what then think about him idk ??

he also started telling me about his most recent two girlfriends. he emphasized that to Brandon it was all about the chase. and after he got their attention and they were into him. he didn’t want anything to do with them. fast forward a little, a coworker came up to us and she confused me as the NEW GIRL THAT LOOKS LIKE ME. (I mentioned her in like two previous posts) I then told her how I have been confused with a girl named Angela. Angela is the girl that I found Brandon talking to one day and I almost cried lmao.

and when I mentioned Angela, carl told me that THATS BRANDONS GIRLFRIEND. BITCHCHUEJHFFIUFHUILFRIUFRLLHILUAEHIUEAFLIU. I FUCKING AWKEJNBXFIUJBFIJUBENFIOUEHWFIOU. I lowkey already knew this but I din’t want to believe it. honestly there are still somethings that don’t add up. according to carl they’re still dating but I don’t know.

I honestly convinced myself that he didn’t have a girlfriend and just ignored that as a possibility.

carl just kept giving me advice about Brandon. here are a few things I remember: he said that he wasn't trying to not get me to stop liking Brandon, but to be cautious. and after what he told me I don’t know how I could like Brandon. also carl knows how nervous I get around Brandon and at some point he asked me what would I regret more. not talking to Brandon and potentially missing something good or talking to him and getting hurt. and man was carl asking the real questions. I told him how I've been thinking about Brandon soooo much. and how I'm leaving to osu soon so I don’t really know what I want. he then told me about how if I leave and never speak to Brandon I may spend my time at School thinking about Brandon. asking myself questions like “what is he doing? is he still working at Walmart? what if I had talked to him....?” and carl was really just listing all these questions that I KNOW I will think about. I also told carl how i’m going to corvallis soon and that my biggest fear is never seeing Brandon again. but at the same time, should I even think about starting something knowing im about to leave? I'm obviously going to meet so many cuties when I go back to osu but BRANDON. Brandon has me so fucked up

when my lunch was over I just thought about the conversation over and over again. I have a few things that I want to tell / ask carl the next time I see him.

I don’t think you guys understand but I have pushed back when I'm going to osu for Brandon. when summer started I was planning on moving to corvallis last august, and at the latest, the first week of September. but then Brandon showed interest in me by telling me he thought I was cute, and suddenly I had to tell him I thought he was cute and I had to extend my time here. I needed time to some how date this man ? I don’t know what I wanted really, but I didn’t not want to do anything.

I also started thinking about Angela. Angela seems so sweet, every time she seems me, she smiled at me. in certain ways I see myself in her. once we almost ran into each other and instinctively said “oh sorry!”. I know that seems like such a little thing. but thats such a ME thing. like it wasn’t neither of our faults that we almost ran into each other. I was turning a corner she was coming out of so we didn’t see each other. here was no need to say sorry. but we did.

at this point, carl knows all my thoughts. I know for a fact I forgot to mention a lot of things which I'll probably remember later. but at this point I'm just so open to carl about my feelings and thoughts towards Brandon. the next time I see carl I'm going to ask if he knows how long him and Angela have been dating? because shit isn’t adding up in that department. they truly act like they’re not dating. and also timeline wise, I need to know if they were dating when he told me he thought I was cute.

I also want to ask what he knows about Avery lmao. honestly Avery looks like a major fuck boy but thats who I'm attracted to apparently. hopefully he isn’t dating someone and is rlly sweet but we’ll see. I'm dead ass asking carl I give no fucks any more.

after this long ass conversation with carl, when we went back inside to clock in, Brandon was there. I obviously didn’t even think to look at him after hearing all that about him. I went straight to my locker and grabbed my stuff. I think that Brandon sensed this awkward vibe.

I wonder what Brandon thinks about me talking to carl. I mean if carl does know that he’s dating someone, it would make sense that carl would tell me since we talk to each other a lot.

fast forward, towards the end of my shift I saw Brandon for a split second from a far. we both ignored each other. he flipped his hair and walked away.

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nobeliumoxygenoxygen · 5 years

Text

Seromina || Firsts

For Sero Ship Week Day 3: Firsts at @seroshipweek

SUMMARY: Ashido tends to overshare her personal life on social media so it’s only fitting that she shares her favourite moments on it too, right?

But this time, it’s only for one pair of eyes.

GENRE: sero hanta x ashido mina, social media au (I think?)

TEXT from your queen 💕

follow @iloveutapeboi on insta its private but dw youll be accepted start from the first post!!!!!!!!

POSTS

[Image: Candid of Sero taken from the side; slightly blurry, low angle as if the photographer was trying to be discreet as they took it. He’s wearing an orange hoodie with black stripes. He’s grinning at someone in front of him and he holds a bitten meat pie in one hand. In the background, there are barely visible bowling lanes.]

Caption: the first time i thought to myself “maybe seros actually cute and i actually like him in a like like way” if that make sense lol. maybe there were other times but this was the earliest memory i could think of. this was after that laser tag game we all played and you did your whole dramatic self sacrificing for me (lol quickest way to my heart - take a laser tag shot for me).

[Image: Image of the city taken from inside a bus. Half the image is of the seats of the bus whilst the other half are buildings of the city. A few people are in the shot, but they’re faces are unrecognisable.]

Caption: first time I realised I was in loveeee (i love youu) how cheesy amirite. its a bus because i realised it when we were going back to ua together after a field trip and idk i just had this light bulb moment ok ugh this is too cheesy were done here ily but im cringing too hard at the cheesinesssss (two posts in and im already dying but im pushing thru!!!!)

[Image: 2 puppies being held by someone who is clearly Sero by the look of the arms and his orange black striped hoodie. One puppy in each arm; a white pit bull and a brown one.]

Caption: our not-so-official first date?? idk if you’d call it that but like......we were alone together so idk??? u know i was going to actually confess today but the dogs were so cute they distracted me!! so i forgot lol!!! (theyre only sliiiiiightly cuter than u dw dw!!! 🤣)

[Image: Sero’s silhouette inside a movie theater. He’s facing the camera but it’s too dark to see much other than the shadows of his face and the glint of his white teeth in his grin. In the far left of the photo, the Lego Movie is playing.]

Caption: our official first date (tho i guess it was kinda rushed??? considering i literally told u i liked u like an hour earlier lmao but i wouldnt have it any other way ❤️)

[Image: Ashido’s room, taken from the doorway. The bed is unmade; the curtains are drawn back to let the sunlight in; the desk is a mess of school books and loose sheets. Ashido’s arms are outstretched in front of the camera; she’s forming a heart with her hands.]

Caption: place we had our first kiss!!! (tho we failed like five times and kept laughing!! the movies are wayyyy too serious - they make it seem like ur not allowed to laugh!! our kisses are so much better😘)

[Image: Pathway leading up into a park where cherry blossom trees frame the edges. There are a few passerbys and one dog, legs a blur, running through the image.]

Caption: place i asked you to be my boyfriend because SOMEONE STILL had this WEIRD idea that?? i??? didnt?? like?? them? EVEN AFTER?? LIKE FIVE DATES?? AND FIVE KISSES???

[Image: UA Heights Alliance common room. Looking through the windows, it’s night and there’s no one in there but there’s food wrappers strewn across the coffee table and the floor.]

Caption: place you said your first i love you (ok i suppose i shouldnt be salty about the boyfriend asking thing because first ilys are such a milestone!!!! ps. im still sorry i panicked when u said it lmao i love how we laugh about it but i know from sources coughbakuyellingthat1tapeboiwasstressingashell that you almost cried ilyyyyyyyy ❤️❤️❤️)

[Image: Close up focus of Sero’s lit up face. He’s giving a close-eyed smile to someone slightly to the left of the camera. Just making it in the frame is a slice of bright blond hair. The background is blurred but it is clearly of a busy beach; the sky is blue and there’s not a cloud in sight. There are two figures, one shirtless with red hair and one wearing a wetsuit cut off at the lower thigh with what might be black or dark purple hair in the water in the far background.]

Caption: when i said my first i love you (i love you toos and i love yous on phones dont count!!! and also u are sooooooo cute in this photo!!! not that ur not always cute ofc 😋)

[Image: Text screenshot. (Sent) Ashido: IM SO MAD AT U SERO HANTA ANSWER MEEE (Receiving) Sero: NEVER U TRAITOR (Sent) Ashido: UR THE TRAITOR!!!!]

Caption: first fight :( one of the saddest chapters of my life i hope we never do that again ❤️

[Image: Rice with natto on top, chopsticks on the side. The dish is on top of pink, patterned napkins.]

Caption: first (of many!!!!!!!!) anniversaries (see??? taking pics of food is VERY important!! and u dared to make fun of my ‘attempts at being aesthetics’!!)

[Image 1: Necklace in shape of a crown with engraving of words “Alien Queen”. Image 2: Necklace is flipped over with engraving of words “Ashido Mina”.]

Caption: first (of many!!!!!!!!!!) anniversary presents (I LOVE IT SO MUCH WHY R U SO NICEEEEEEE ITS SO CUTE IM WEARING IT EVERYDAY ILY)

[Image: From the side, Sero smiling softly, looking up at a beautiful orange sky to match his brighter orange hoodie. His eyes are wide but he’s happy. Behind are a few trees.]

Caption: I love youuuuuuuuuuuu sero hantaaaaaaaaaa and dont you forget it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *spam of heart emojis* (also u r seriously wearing the same hoodie in like five of these pics w h y)

TEXT to your queen 💕

im actualy cryin can i call u

TEXT from your queen 💕

oof [Image: google search bar “how to comfort crying boyfriend”.] ofc u can!!

CALL TRANSCRIPT:

Sero: How long have you been planning this? I love you so muchhhhhhhh. I’m crying, can you hear my tears? How did you do it? Did you go to every place or were you planning this from the beginning?

Ashido: *laughter* You can’t hear tears dummy. And you’re not meant to cry! Its meant to be a happy thing! *more laughter*

Sero: ...Glad to know your happy about my pain. ...Its amazing I have literally no words Ashido. I love it-I love you and I love us. Thank you so much.

Ashido: Awww don’t make me blush. It was nothing!

Sero: What do you mean NOTHING? Don’t insult yourself Ashido Mina this is...I don’t know-EVERYTHING!

Ashido: Okay that’s true. I’m awesome.

Sero: I’m going to treasure this forever. You’ll never delete this account right?

Ashido: *giggling* Course not!

Sero: It’s too amazing. Seriously, and I gave you the most cliche relationship present ever.

Ashido: Eesh don’t worry! I love my present! Besides it was the final piece for the account!

Sero: If you say so. You know, I don’t think a meme war counts as a fight...in a relationship...

Ashido: Of course it does! I was soooo angry at you. How could you side with Kirishima?! It was so frustrsting! You wouldn’t BELIEVE!

Sero: ...Trust me I believe. *muffled* Especially after you taped me to the ceiling.

Ashido: What was that?

Sero: Nothing! Also how’d you take the pic of your room with your arms in front of you? Is it...*whispers loudly* sorcery?

Ashido: *giggling* You got it. I have a second quirk that I-...I kept secret. Yup. But I’m telling you because you’re my boyfriend and all.

Sero: And I will totally believe you, because you’re my girlfriend, and all. Hey, I know you need your beauty sleep but can I come over--

Ashido: Yes!

Sero: --tomorrow--wait, what?

Ashido: Oh. Well-

Sero: *muffled snort* Someone’s desperate.

Ashido: *huff* Shhh! You can come over anytime!

Sero: Would you really not mind if I came over now? At like...*shuffling* eleven?

Ashido: Is that even a question? If you come over now, I can add it to the journal!

Sero: The journal?

Ashido: The account Sero!

Sero: Okay...Why? It’s not the first time I’ve been to your house. Firsts was the theme right?

Ashido: Yep! And I can make it ‘First night spent together’ wink wink.

Sero: …*muffled laugh* Whatever floats your boat.

Ashido: But you’re getting a cab here right? You better not walk out this late at night!

Sero: I mean, we’re both training to be heroes if we can’t walk out at night then what could we do--

Ashido: Sero you butt!

Sero: --but yes I’m getting a cab.

Ashido: Good! You better stay on the phone the whole time too!

Sero: Of course. I love you Ashido Mina.

Ashido: And I love you Sero Hanta! ...Wait are you still wearing that orange hoodie?

Sero: ...*distant mumbles* Why do you hate my beloved hoodie so much?

Ashido: *equally distant mumbles* If you wear it one more time the photos will think you have one hoodie.

Sero: What would you say if I said yes?

Ashido: I’d say we’ve got our next date planned and you can guess what it is.

Sero: ...I mean, I wouldn’t say no to any time with you anyway?

Ashido: Pfft, stop being cute. Just-alright, whatever. Tomorrow? At whatever time we wake up I guess?

Sero: It’s a date.

A/N: completely forgot that they live in the same building so pretend it’s holidays or something 🤷 buuuut i hope you enjoyed this was harder than expected so im rlly sorry if they seem ooc 😳!! Thanks for reading!!

#bnha #sero ship week 2018 #sero hanta #sero hanta imagine #seromina #ashido mina #sero hanta x ashido mina #sero hanta scenario #ashido mina imagine #ashido mina scenario #my work

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