#i’ve heard that this is the weakest out of the three games? but honestly i really liked it

[angomay]

so um… they weren’t lying that dragon really can age. 2 even

[ID: A screencap of Jim from The Office looking to the side with a shell-shocked expression. His hand is resting on his forehead. End ID]

[intheticklecloset]

Dare You To (SK8 the Infinity)

Summary: During a game of Uno Dare, Reki is challenged first not to smile and then - failing that - not to stop Langa from tickling him for a minute. When he fails the second time, the others decide a little playful punishment is in order.

A/N: YES!! I LOVE lee Reki! I love writing for him, that cute little ticklish redhead!! *ahem* Anyway, I've never heard of Dodge or Dare, and I honestly didn't feel like watching a clip of whatever show it's from to learn how it works, so I modified things just a tad, but I think I got the general idea of what you wanted in there. Enjoy! ^^

Word Count: 1,758

~~~

“Ha! No way he’ll be able to do that,” Miya laughed, enjoying the way Reki’s face went red in response to both his challenge and the dare that had been put before him.

They were playing Uno Dare – a new take on the card game they were already familiar with – and so far, Reki wasn’t doing too great. He’d already failed to balance a single card on his head, stand on one foot until his next turn, and do ten push-ups in ten seconds. (Actually, he couldn’t even do ten, period.) And now Langa – who was seated on his right – had the audacity to play a dare card and dare him not to smile until his next turn.

“I can do it!” he insisted, pouting, shooting Miya and Langa a glare each. “It won’t be hard with you guys picking on me.”

Joe smirked at him, attempting to share a glance with Cherry, who promptly ignored him.

“Well? Take your turn,” the pink-haired skater said, gesturing to the pile.

Reki frowned, determined to win this dare so he wouldn’t have to draw another two cards. He already had more than anyone else in the circle. He glanced at his hand briefly, played a card, and stared at the discard pile. He didn’t want to see anyone’s faces. He didn’t want to accidentally slip up again. He would win this dare if it was the last thing he did.

Langa pinched his side.

“He-eey?!” Reki screeched, jolting to the side. Thankfully he was able to keep himself from smiling, but when he made eye contact with his friend it was difficult to keep a straight face. He saw the devious smirk and suddenly grew flustered. “D-Don’t…I know what you’re thinking, but don’t! That’s cheating!”

Cherry took his turn, which passed the flow of the game to Miya. But the evil little skater just sat there, smirking, watching Reki intently.

Langa reached for him again. Reki’s hand shot down to grab Langa’s wrist, the anticipation nearly forcing him to smile already, but he held firm.

“No tickling!” he cried when Langa’s other hand reached for him. Reki thought it was going for his side, but suddenly his friend shot down to his knee and squeezed, making him squeak. He broke into a wide smile in the split second before he could push Langa away and regain composure, but it was too late. With Miya watching him like a hawk, there was no hiding that he’d lost the dare.

“Told you!” Miya laughed again, taking the liberty of drawing two cards for Reki and handing them over. “Here, slime, take your punishment.”

“No way!” Reki exclaimed, looking around the circle at the two adults with them. “Langa cheated!”

“There’s nothing in the rules that says other players can’t try to mess with you,” Joe said, chuckling. “So technically, he didn’t cheat.”

Reki glared at Langa, who smiled calmly back at him, winking. The redhead demanded, “I want a do-over! Give me another dare, or let me try that one again without you cheating.”

“I didn’t cheat,” Langa replied. “I thought that had been established. Take your cards, Reki.”

“No!”

Cherry sighed, but Miya quickly piped in again before any of them could get scolded. “Fine, you big baby. How about this – if you can take Langa tickling you for one minute without fighting back or saying ‘stop,’ you don’t have to draw your two cards. That’s your new dare.”

Reki’s eyes widened. “What?!”

Langa laughed. “Oh, come now. You can take a minute, can’t you?”

“Of…of course I can!” Reki swallowed, setting his cards face-down in front of him and clenching his fists in his lap. “Bring it on!”

Miya pulled out his phone and got the timer set up, then counted down from three, and the challenge was on. Langa – sneaky, sneaky Langa – immediately slipped his hands under Reki’s shirt to scribble at his bare skin, skittering over his sides and lower ribs, and Reki burst into giggles, gripping his knees so he wouldn’t fight back on instinct. Langa was not going to make him lose two challenges in a row!

“You’ve always been super ticklish, Reki,” Langa purred into his ear, making him squeal and arch his back.

“Don’t – dohohohohn’t tehehehease me! Thahahat’s cheating, too!”

“Everything is cheating to you when you’re losing.” Langa smirked, moving gradually around to his belly, which they both knew was his worst spot. “Do you really think you can handle a whole minute of your tummy being tickled?”

Reki whined, starting to bring his arms in protectively but stopping himself just in time, squirming in place as Langa finally reached his weakest spot. “Hohohohohow muhuhuhuch lohohohonger?!”

Miya smirked. “You still have forty seconds.”

“Whahahahat? No wahahahahay!” Reki cried. Langa began to circle around his belly button, and his giggles grew into frantic cackles, his whole body shaking from the effort not to protect himself. “Plehehehehease, not thehehehehere, Langa!”

“Where? Here?” Langa dipped his finger into his friend’s navel, and Reki screamed, bringing his arms in at the same time he fell back onto the floor, pushing and kicking at his blue-haired friend.

Miya stopped the timer. “Dude, you lost again! How are you so ticklish?!”

“Shut up!” Reki snapped, blushing as he sat back up. “Fine, whatever, I’ll take the stupid cards. Let’s just move on.”

“No way!” Miya declared, putting his cards down as well and nearly lunging across the circle to tackle him back onto the floor, reaching up into his underarms in a flash. “As punishment, now you have to have two people tickle you!”

“Wha—?! Nohohohohohoho, Miyahahahaha!” Reki squealed, laughing all over again. He was just beginning to muster up the energy to push the little skater away when he suddenly felt fingers digging into his open belly once more, making him shriek and start thrashing more violently. “GOD, NOHOHOHOHOHO!! NOT THEHEHEHEHEHERE!! NOT BOHOHOHOHOTH OF YOU!!”

“Tickle, tickle!” Miya taunted, grinning. He kept digging and scribbling in the redhead’s underarms while Langa got back to work scribbling over his belly and eventually digging into his navel again.

Reki bucked and thrashed and kicked, laughing up a storm but unable to get away. He was in the midst of pleading for mercy when he suddenly felt another weight on him – this one sitting on his legs, pinning them to the floor so he couldn’t kick.

“Jeez, kid, you’re gonna hurt somebody if you keep that up,” Joe’s teasing voice came from somewhere by his feet. Seconds later there were fingers scribbling over his soles.

“NONONO PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE, NOHOHOHOHOHO!! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!!” Reki begged, laughter coming out in shrieky, uncontrolled bursts. He flailed his arms wildly, unable to do anything else at this point. “WHY?! I SAHAHAHAHAHAID I’D TAHAHAHAHAKE THE CARDS, YOU JEHEHEHEHEHERKS!!”

“Because it’s fun,” Langa replied, leaning down to blow a raspberry over his belly button. “Plus, if you let us tickle you a little more, we might even let you off the hook so you don’t have to draw any more cards.”

“LEHEHEHEHEHEHET YOU?!” Reki screamed. “I CAHAHAHAHAN’T STOP YOU!!”

“Oh! Well then, this should be a pretty easy win for you.” Langa blew another raspberry. “It’s unbelievable how ticklish your tummy is, Reki.”

“STOHOHOHOHOHOHOP CAHAHAHAHAHALLING IT THAHAHAHAHAHAT!!” Reki’s voice was pleading now, mirthful tears springing to his eyes for how hard he was laughing, having three spots tickled at once. “AND NO RAHAHAHAHAHASPBERRIES!!”

“You’re so picky,” Miya muttered, sliding down slightly to squeeze at his upper ribs.

Reki started to push him off, finally able to muster up some strength once his underarms were left alone, but that was the exact moment that Cherry decided to join in, grabbing his arms and pulling them above his head, pinning them down, doing nothing more than making him more helpless and watching his companions draw laugh after screaming laugh from his core, now that he couldn’t move almost at all.

“NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!” Reki tossed his head back and screeched loudly, hysterically, unable to hold back or protest or anything anymore. All he could do was lie there and take it and hope desperately that they’d get bored soon and leave him alone. It was true – he was incredibly ticklish, but especially on the three spots that were being assaulted right now, and Reki wasn’t sure he’d be able to take much more of this impromptu tickle torture. “G-GUYS, NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE!!”

Miya smirked. “Tickle, tickle, slime~”

Langa blew another raspberry. “You’ve got such a cute, ticklish little tummy, Reki~”

“Your laugh is pretty great, dude, not gonna lie,” Joe added, still scribbling over his feet, his touch lighter than the other two’s. “Don’t know if I’ve ever heard you this happy before.”

“I CAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAN’T!!” Reki cackled, a tear sliding down his cheek as he laughed helplessly. “PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE, STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!! I GIVE!! I’LL TAHAHAHAHAHAKE THE CAHAHAHAHAHARDS!! GUYS!!!”

After another few seconds, the three of them silently agreed that they’d had their fun, and all four of them let Reki go, climbing off of him and releasing his limbs so he could curl into a ball, still giggling into the carpet.

“Aw, man!” Miya whined, drawing the redhead’s attention to him. “Look! All of his kicking ruined the game!”

It was true. There were Uno Dare cards splayed everywhere. No one could tell where one person’s cards ended and another’s began, and the draw and discard piles were intermixed as well.

“S-So you…you t-tortured me for…for nothing?” Reki gasped incredulously, pushing himself into a seated position, staring at the failure of a game before them. “What was the point, then?!”

“For fun,” Langa replied, gently nudging his shoulder with a smile. “Come on, you didn’t really hate that, did you?

Reki’s blush quickly spread all the way to his ears and neck. He hunched his shoulders and looked away. “Shut up, dude.”

“Cheer up, dude.” Langa pulled him into a hug, poking his sides sporadically to get him smiling and giggling again. “Tell you what, the next time we play you get a free pass on any dare, and you don’t have to draw any cards in place of it. I think you’ve earned that much, don’t you, Miya?”

Miya scoffed, but he was smiling. “Yeah, whatever. You get a free pass, slime.”

Reki giggled, squirming in Langa’s soft, tickly hug. “Okay, okahahahay, I’ll take it!”

The others smiled at him, Langa let him go, and they got to work gathering up the cards so they could shuffle and play again.

Miya handed him the deck. “Your turn to deal, loser.”

“What?!” Reki exclaimed.

Everyone laughed.

[mackeydoodledoo]

A Real Hero

Pairing: Daniela Dimitrescu x (Fem!Daughter of Ares)Reader

Summary: You were lost. You needed to fend for yourself. You were the runt of Ares’ kids. Yes, the god of war himself had told you that you were the runt of the pack, making you fall behind everyone else. However, meeting a certain red-head has you making other plans.

Warnings: Fighting, Small amount of Blood, Supposed Death

A/n: So, I’m Poseidon’s kid... But, I may or may not have a idea for a daughter of Poseidon to be paired with one of the other two daughters. 

“Supermassive Black Hole” - Muse [Play this when Joan splits off with Daniela to go hunting]

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You had nowhere to go. You were shunned out by your brothers and sisters. Even your own father. You were the runt of the children of Ares. Meaning, you were the weakest link. Your own father had dropped you off at the same very forest. Haven’t heard from him, your mother or your siblings since.

Come on Joan... You got this...

You were exhausted. The glistening sweat rolled off your now toned arms as you were practicing your sword play skills. The tree however, wasn't so lucky. All of its peeled bark, all of its scars. Came from you. It looked like it was on the brink of death.

“Not so tough now are you?” You try to stupidly intimidate the nearly dead tree

God you sound stupid right now...

You take one heavy slash to the tree; it begins tumbling down. However, just as you about to chop it further, you hear a scream. Panic sets in as you immediately grab hold of the tree stump. You initially struggle to keep the other end of the tree’s weight. However, You shove it to the side, groaning in pain, clutching at your shoulder.

“Are you okay?” You ask, running over to the woman who screamed

Just barely grazing her shoulder with your finger, you wince in pain.

“Am I okay?!” She asks, turning to look at you, “Are you okay?! You’re the one who- oh my god...”

The other woman was in shock, but also intrigued. 

She looks down at your finger; blood... But, it wasn’t the crimson shade kind of blood. What was seeping out of your finger was a thick and Silver colored.

“How is your blood like that?” She asks, observing your finger like a gentle specimen

“It’s always been like this,” You chuckle

“Does it actually taste like blood?!” She asks

You look at her; her eyes dilated with curiosity. You look down at your feet, trying to come up with the best answer for her.

“How am I supposed to know?” You ask her, “I’ve never been one to taste my own blood.”

“Then let me be the first one,” She says, her tone dropping to a low, seductive tone

“Hey! What are you-” You protest

But it was too late. The tip of her tongue had ran right over the small prick in your finger. Your eyes widen as she begins gagging.

“Oh that was vile!” She wretches

“I tried warning you to not do that,” You chuckle, “But, did you listen?”

She punches your shoulder as she continues to gag out the contents of your blood.

“But for real though, how did you do that?” She asks

“Do.. What?” You ask her

“The... The.. You picked up a whole damn tree!” She exclaims, “No mortal could do that!” 

“That’s because I’m.. Not fully mortal...” Your voice trails off

“You’re... Not?” She asks, her eyes widening once more

“Demigod.. To be precise..” You begin explaining, “It’s when an immortal falls in love with a mortal... And they have kids... Kids like me.”

The woman doesn’t answer you...

Great... She’s freaked out...

“So... Let me get this straight... You’re... Half immortal?” She asks

Girl’s clueless...

“Technically.. Yes,” You answer her

“Wait until mother and my sisters hear when I bring you home,” She wickedly smiles

Wait.. What?...

When you opened your eyes you no longer found yourself basking in the sunshine.

“Just check her blood! She really is half immortal!” The familiar voice 

“Daniela, quit your games,” Another feminine voice calls to the sole familiar voice

“What is the meaning of this?” An older, robust yet soothing feminine voice walks in

“Daniela claims that she’s found a half immortal,” Another feminine voice says, but more hungrier than the other three

“But mother it’s true!” Daniela claims, “Look at her blood!” 

“Enough... Daniela,” The older woman sighs

By the time the arguing had died down, your fingers held your temples as you groaned in pain.

“Half-immortal,” The older woman calls to you

“Ow... What?” You look up

You had to adjust your neck in a slightly uncomfortable position as you stare straight up into the most giantess woman you have ever encountered.

“Tell me child...” She starts, “What is your name?”

“Joan...” You answer, “Joan Arc...”

“Are you truly half immortal?” She asks

“I am...” You say without a second thought

“Then prove it,” The blonde demands

“Now now Bela,” The older woman calms her blonde daughter, “But that you shall do for us.”

“What happens if I refuse?” You ask, standing on your two feet

“We’ll feed your scraps to the pigs,” The brunette growls 

“Cassandra enough!” Daniela demands, grabbing her sisters’ wrist

Cassandra turns to the red head and begins growling at her like a primal animal. You were about to step in before you see the older woman beginning to raise her hand.

“Cassandra... Daniela,” She sighs, “On this evening’s hunt she will accompany the three of you. Cassandra...”

The brunette straightens herself out when the woman called her name. 

“Do show her the armory for this evening,” She gently commands

“Of course mother,” She answers, “Half and half.”

Cassandra turns to you.

Great... A nickname already...

“You coming or not?” She asks

You walk towards her as you felt claw-like fingernails dig into your skin as you are bragged out of what looked to be the bedchambers. You catch a glimpse of Daniela; the woman you had saved from earlier in the day. You give her a small smile before Cassandra rounds the corner, knocking you into the doorframe.

“Come on,” Cassandra growls

“So... Half and half,” Cassandra teases at your nickname, taking a gaze at the weapons in the armory room

“It’s Joan,” You correct her coldly

“What brought you to our castle grounds anyway?” She asks, completely ignoring your correction

“Actually your sister... Daniela brought me here against my will so...” You joke, but also tell the truth

“She doesn’t know when to stop bringing toys into the castle,” Cassandra sighs

Toys?... Is she for real?...

“I was cast off, unwanted by my own father,” You explain, “I was the weakest of his kids... All of my siblings had their backs turned to me when I was casted out of the cabin...”

“That’s rough...” Cassandra sighs

You weren’t sure if Cassandra was continuing to mock you or she actually felt bad about your situation.

“Anyway though, I’m kind of happy that I’m out of there,” You add, “My siblings were a bunch of assholes anyway.”

“I could say the same for my sisters... We’re always trying to out-best each other to please mother... It’s getting tiring honestly.” She sighs

“Then don’t do it to please your mother,” You say, grabbing a sword off of the weapons rack, “Do it so it makes you happy.”

With your back turned to Cassandra, you begin putting your hair up to a ponytail.

“What’s that?” She asks

“What’s what?” You ask

“The thing on the back of your neck,” Cassandra helps, “What is it?”

My birthmark... Well, just a mark...

“The Mark of Ares,” You answer, “All the children of Ares have this specific mark.”

[A/n: Not much but I tried lol]

You nod, “Not the glamorous life as a god though.”

“So you really are half and half huh?” Cassandra continues asking

After grabbing a couple of armor plates, you arm yourself with a sword and a spear. You follow Cassandra back to the main hall where the other three women were waiting for the both of you. 

“All set?” The tall woman asks

“Yes mother,” Cassandra says

You simply nod as you follow them out to what looked like horse stables. However, you only see enough for the four of them.

Great... Will I have to be the one running on foot?

“Joan,” Daniela calls, horse already galloped in front of you

She simply holds out her hand for you to grab. You let out a smile as you take her hand. You were astonished by the amount of strength Daniela had when she pulled you up onto the back of her horse. 

“Strong,” You smile, resting your palms on her curved hipline

“You better hold on tight,” Daniela flirts

As soon as the stable doors opened fully, Daniela slams the reigns on her horse and the horse bolts past the other three. You let out a startled yelp as Daniela’s horse bursts out of the stables and out into the familiar warmth. You hold onto Daniela for dear life; your head against the back of her neck as you hear her giggling.

“The half immortal is scared of a horse ride?” Daniela teases you

“Caught me off guard is all,” You gently chuckle

Daniela continues to giggle as you ease your grip on her slightly. You look over your shoulder and see the other three horses following behind, slowly gaining to where you and Daniela were. You looked along the tree line to see the sunset beginning to dwindle down below the horizon.

“Why hunt at night?” You ask

“It’s too stuffy during the day,” Daniela explains to you, “It’s tolerable... For a certain amount of time.”

You stop at a river that was relatively near the castle for the horses to rest and hydrate as the four of you begin to tread through the woods to go hunting. 

“Why don’t the both of you go hunt on your own, go teach Daniela some hunting techniques would you?” Bela suggests

“Hey!” Daniela yelps, “I can hunt well on my own thank you very much.”

“I’d certainly could ask Artemis to give Daniela some hunting lessons but who the hell knows where she is,” You explain, “Come on Dani.”

Daniela takes you by the wrist and yanks you close to her as the both of you begin walking along the forest trees in hopes to get any kills before dawn arrives.

“Have you.. Actually hunted before?” Daniela asks

“After months of fending for my own,” You say, “Mostly spear-fishing... Spear is normally my main weapon but if I want to go more rough n tough, a sword.”

“Shouldn’t the half immortals be expertise in various weapons?” Daniela teases you

“A lot of Demigods would have their specified weapons,” You say, “Watch and learn baby.”

You roll up your pant legs and your sleeves. You strip off your shoes and slowly begin stepping into the ice-cold riverbank. further to your right was a giant waterfall. You could hear the loud running water go over the edge of the drop.

“If I only had Night vision,” You sigh 

“On your right,” Daniela calls out to you

You immediately spear to your right. Once you had lifted the spear, you had sworn the spear had gained more top end weight.

“How did you?...” You turn to Daniela

“I mostly go hunting at night,” Daniela smiles, “So my eyesight works best during the night.”

“That’s good to have,” You smile

You and Daniela continue spear-fishing as the night progresses through. 

“Have you caught a bear before?” Daniela asks

“No,” You say

“Why don’t we go and catch one?” Daniela suggests

“Well, how would you do it Daniela?” You ask her

“Why are you asking me?” Daniela asks

“Because one, you’re the one suggesting it and two, why don’t you lead a hunt for once,” You smile

Daniela looks at you as you emerge from the riverbank and begin making a makeshift basket to place all of the fish in. 

“You sure know how to craft,” Daniela just simply watches you make

“A lot of things were learned while living on my own out here,” You smile as you look up at her

You stop weaving the basket when Daniela is just kneeling in front of you. 

“You okay Daniela?” You ask her, clearing your throat

“I’m okay,” She answers, inching her way closer to you, “You?”

“I’m fine,” You answer, a bubble caught in your throat, “What-what are you doing right now?” 

“I... Like you..” Daniela says

“Daniela!” You yell

You coil an arm around her waist line as you try to get up but you tumble forward. You look up and see a bear letting out a roar. With your spear crushed under the bears’ foot, you draw your sword and begin swinging, in hopes of it being scared and runs off. However, you stop once it began growling. 

“Joan!” Daniela yells

You felt your body land onto the ground as the sword is knocked from your grip. You immediately prop yourself on your elbows and turn your head.

“Daniela!” You yell to her

Like Hell I’m about to lose her....

Your legs suddenly spring upward, pivoting as fast as they could. You break into a run as the bear begins to stand on its hind legs. You didn’t even think to take your weapon back into your hand as you use your body to slam yourself into the bear.

“Hey!” You call to Daniela

She looks at you.

“I... Like you too,” You smile

“Joan... Joan!!” Daniela screams

As quick as Daniela could, she scampers up to her feet and dives after you, only to come a hare too late. You and the bear had plummeted towards the sharp-rocked bottom of the waterfall.

“JOAN!!!!” Daniela banshee screams as she watches you both and the bear disappear into the misty waters below

“Daniela?!” Alcina calls out

Alcina, Cassandra and Bela emerge from the tree line, beelining it to her. Alcina pulls her youngest daughter into her arms as Daniela lets out wailing sobs.

“We were trying to hunt a bear and- and- I almost got killed but-” Daniela chokes on her sobs, “Joan went over the edge protecting me.. With- with the bear...” 

“I’m sorry my daughter,” Alcina sighs, “The hunt is over. Back to the castle. Now.”

“But-But Joan is still down there!” Daniela begs her mother

“No one survives that drop,” Alcina states, “Not even a half immortal like Joan. We have to go now.”

Daniela doesn’t argue with her mother. She follows her mother and sisters back to their horses to take back to the castle stables. 

I’m sorry Joan...

Night was slowly dissipating as Daniela lay across her bed, crying to herself. She didn’t care about how bad she smelled from the outside world. She was upset at herself for not catching you in time just before you plummeted to your death.

“Daniela?” Bela calls out

“What Bela?...” Daniela wipes away her tears 

“Someone’s in the main hall with Cassandra,” Bela says, less enthusiastic

Daniela dissipates into flies as well as Bela. Daniela follows her sister and as soon as Bela busts the doors open, Daniela felt her heart throb.

“Joan?...” Daniela calls out, materializing into her human form

“Finally,” Cassandra sighs as she pushes your batters and bloodied body towards Daniela

Daniela catches your almost limp body. But, you manage with all of your strength you had left, you wrap your arms around Daniela's neck as she struggles to keep you on your feet.

"I thought you were..." Daniela says

"Dead?" You finish her sentence

Daniela takes you to her bedchambers and begins stripping away whatever was left of the armor and your ripped clothing.

"Ow..." You groan

"Do you... Remember what happened after you plummeted down the waterfall?" Daniela asks

"Well, what I do remember is that the bear wasn't anywhere to be found by the time I had come to. I was bleeding a lot. But, obviously being a Demigod, my slow regeneration process began. But. Took me forever though. Everything still hurts like hell..." You sigh

You lowly gasp as you felt Daniela's long, cold fingers caress your body as she applies the bandages.

"I'm sorry," She whimpers

"It's okay. You're just really cold..." You sigh, smiling

You could feel Daniela's eyes on you as she moved directly behind you. You could feel the tension between the both of you.

"I meant what I said too," You say

You feel her fingers begin coiling around your ribcage and her head resting on your shoulder.

"I know," She whispers into your ear

You sweep your arm underneath Daniela and pull her into your lap.

"Joan!..." Daniela gasps

It doesn't take Daniela long to settle herself in your lap as her wicked smile sweeps across her face.

"Awwww you're blushing," Daniela coos

"Shut up..." You growl playfully

"Well then maybe you should make me," She smirks, her wicked giggle coming out

[A/n: Here is a character board for Joan Arc]

[troofless]

So I finished Omori’s True Route yesterday. I think I clocked in a total of 24 hours the moment I finished the True Route.

(SPOILERS AHEAD DUH) Overall, it was a pretty well-crafted game, but personally I wouldn’t want to replay it. I do have some gripes about this game: 

Combat system is grindy af

The last part of the True Route is so freaking long and draggy aaaaaah. Like. The part where we get to interact with the scenes when Basil’s photos was taken was super cool but also kinda unnecessary? Maybe in a special room or smth would be better. After a while the elongated cutscenes (fighting Basil, discovering the truth of Mari’s death, the Yume Nikki cutscenes,  Black Space, etc etc), and just when you think there aren’t enough reminiscence scenes... there’s more...) Just... let me get to the final boss fight... I get that it’s supposed to symbolise that getting out of depression is honestly really hard in a one step forward three steps back kinda thing but still

But I get that the balance between being a comforting yet realistic (no, the trauma is NOT resolved with the power of friendship effort and perseverance, but a slow, torturous, continuous process that can easily backslide, especially seen when Sunny uses all the skills that he’s learnt but still succumbs to fear when Omori confronts him with ‘you loved her but you killed her’ and dies) story is difficult

Also the Yume Nikki place was kinda eh for me not a fan of that type personally lol

Also this game gave me a longing to replay End Roll, man that game made me cry so much when I fought the psychedelic butterflies but not this game for some reason even though I’ve heard my friends cried so hard after the game was over

Burnout from grinding for the ‘kill 100 of these enemies’ (squizzards.... bro...) achievements, and the one where you have to camp the junkyard to collect enough cans for the recycling achievement... haha....

Going the (Hikik)Omori route just feels like a cheap action after all that Sunny’s been through to grow. Ugh. It really is best played HikikOmori then Sunny.

I hate backtracking to locations I’ve already been when the game adds the new mechanics - I’m talking about when they unlocked the swimming mechanic and apparently I missed out on the Breaven and a new location (Rain Town?? Idk) because they were in obsolete locations I forgot to revisit because the game is so goddamn long, and I hate that I missed out on that content because the game doesn’t make it easy for me to backtrack AND I avoided guides because I wanted to experience it blind. Completionist nature’s a bitch. Can you believe I made it to the end of True Route without being spoiled on the twists despite me going onto the wiki during the game to check for easily missable achievements?

I... do not get why Sunny imagines Sweetheart as the main antagonist at all honestly. Like I guess Last Resort as a fear of his friends growing up and having jobs and leaving him but what does getting married (Sweetheart. Just Sweetheart) have to do with his personal fears? Does Sunny enjoy romance drama? Idk.

I also don’t get how Sunny’s phobia of spiders and drowning play into the bigger picture unlike the first fear of heights that he has to overcome - and for such a goddamn amazing foreshadowing and good reason too. What a good ‘first’ fear to overcome, really set the bar for the rest of the Nighttime Reality portion of the game.

Though I may replay just to get all the achievements. Especially for the True Route, kinda want to get the complete all sidequests achievement. I dunno yet.

Thoughts on the game though:

KEL. Oh god Kel. During the Headspace portion of the game, I always thought of Kel as the annoying kid and the weakest out of the trio we meet - Aubrey is cute, Hero is cool and my favourite because duh, and Kel is just... there. As the hyperactive kid. But god. The moment I opened the door and saw Kel out there like goddamn. He’s all grown up now. And by god did he become my true bro. Fucking drags me out of the house, goes around with me stabbing and beating up people, talking to people, reuniting with everyone, Kel stays with me throughout all of it and it’s freaking awesome. Like there’s a lot of things I can say about Kel - that Basil’s motif of him as a cactus is amazing and so noticeable because when my OCD self keeps going back to the water the plants I never have to water Kel’s until the last day and that’s such a good reflection of how he was able to cope with the trauma better than the others, and such a good metaphor I kept thinking about throughout the game. And there’s the fact that it’s implied throughout his story at the grave (WHICH IS SO GOOD??? WHEN KEL NARRATES THAT HE TRIED TO CHEER HERO UP EVEN THOUGH HE HIMSELF WAS SADGE) that his parents treasure Hero more than him but he’s never seen to hate Hero because of the sibling jealousy, and share a perfectly heartwarming and healthy relationship with his brother like god. Sign me the fuck up for this brotherly love man. Kel is so good. Also he rarely shows his pain and always acts as the upbeat person in the group and by god in this depressing game his sunny character just manages to stand out so much unlike any other character in the game.

Also the Kel glitched ending is awesome and a gem in its entirety. I want that ending too.

I can’t believe how much I grew to like Kel, and honestly I think by the end of the story he beats Hero and Aubrey in my favourite Omori character list, even if by a little bit because Hero and Aubrey are pretty great too. Hero is like the middle school crush and Kel is like the college school crush lmao.

In the first minigame you play aka the hide and seek Kel is the first one you find because he hides so badly but turns out he did it so you won’t be lonely finding everyone else cos he knows you don’t like being alone HHHHHHHHHHHH

Freaking. AUBREY. Oh my god I didn’t recognise her at all. The first time I saw her was checking out a picture of her and Kim in Kim’s house and thought she was Kim/Vance, but god. When Kel says “Aubrey...” I’m like. Who tf. What. WHAT. OH MY GOD. And her arc is amazing, how we think she’s bad but no she’s just misunderstood and just as great. 

The first fight scene with Sunny stabbing her is so funny and also the next scene when Kel confiscates like LMAO. This is reality, baby, not Headspace, combat works differently here.

Talking about which. The stark contrast the devs put into the combat system in Headspace and Reality? Hits differently. They did such a good job in portraying that. In reality I had to scavenge for money, food didn’t do shit to heal up, I was panicking during fights (GODDAMN FLIES) because I didn’t have enough bandages because I didn’t have money... etc etc. And the fact that there’s no quest marker indicator because it’s not ‘a game’ unlike Headspace just makes the Reality portion of the game hit harder. It’s like I was playing a completely different game and holy shit I loved it to bits. I wished I didn’t have to go back to Headspace, I was so interested in what was happening in the real world and all its people. (Also the reason I love the city portion of Deltarune... amazing town design)

The design of all the reality houses are so goddamn good. They’re similar yet distinct with their colour palettes and furniture and staircases even BATHROOMS like god. I love exploring all of them. 

Also have I mentioned that the fluff dialogue for examining furniture is so good. There’s just so much stuff I can examine, unlike in other RPGs where it’s just like. You can only examine chests idk. In here you can examine mirrors, plants, pictures, pots, pans, EVERYTHING.

The contrast between the imaginary Aubrey in Headspace and in reality? It’s so great man. 

It’s so heartwarming to see that Aubrey has her own group of friends that we think are bad but then we find that they actually care for her and that’s so precious ugh,,, She found her own support group for her trauma and they helped her process it and made her smile again when her old friends couldn’t. I’m so happy you found yourself a good group of friends after that horrible incident.

HERO. The perfect man. Soooo good looking. After seeing grown-up Kel I was soooo looking forward to seeing Hero in Reality and he didn’t disappoint when his CG came onscreen. AAAAAAAAAAHHHH.

And the scene with Kel and the spider in their room is so amazing. And their room design is just so good too. Like it really showed the difference between Kel and Hero and yet they managed to have a comparatively normal relationship, like how good is that? I’d expected Kel to suffer from inferiority complex or smth but it’s never mentioned at all, only in a throwaway line. KEL IS PRECIOUS AND THE TRUE BRO

Can I just say I spent a good 10 minutes in White Space at the end of the day waiting for something to happen until I realised I could open the menu and stab myself? The devs did such a brilliant move doing that, the endless wandering in confusion and then the player’s sudden realisation of opening the menu and seeing the red STAB option... ugh.

The motifs are just so good???? Recently I realised that the ‘SOMETHING’ following you around is actually Mari?? It has the single eye hhh

The fact that the Emotions Chart Hero gives you in headspace is a nod towards how everyone dealt with trauma - Kel becomes happy to be the positive one in the group, Aubrey becomes angry to blame everyone for not being there, Hero becomes sad, and Omori becomes neutral because he doesn’t feel anything and shuts himself up in his room and Headspace.

Omori sitting on his throne of red hands signifying he’s separating himself from Sunny and wants to take control

Omori facing Sunny in the final fight unlike other times when they assimilate into one another, meaning that this time Omori doesn’t want to assimilate but take control

Sunny seeing himself as Omori in the Reality mirror if you go on the non-True Routes

Sunny choosing the name Omori because he believes that Mari loves Omori (the piano) more than Sunny and basing his colour palette off it

Mari sitting on the picnic basket and never going on adventures because Omori doesn’t want her to get hurt

Omori not being able to switch weapons and his knife being slowly rustier as the truth threatens to emerge once more

The twisted meaning behind ‘Everything will be okay’ - you think it’s spoken by Mari comfortingly, but it’s by Basil, and disturbingly so after a terrible deed

When you examine the space where the closet (on Day 2 or so? And you also see the door in the Spider sequence I think, that was a nice touch of foreshadowing) and the toybox is supposed to be you get the words ‘There is nothing there’, I originally thought there wasn’t anything there BUT NO HE’S JUST REPRESSED IT AND IT’S FURTHER DONE IN GO TO SLEEP AND CUCK BASIL ENDING GOD I LOVE THAT SO MUCH

The fact that all his fears lead back to the staircase. The goddamn staircase. I should have known but DAMN the foreshadowing that the staircase was going to play into something bigger than just a long staircase. Ugh.

Apparently there was an underground maze somewhere in the game and at the end there was a jump rope and the words You Did It written over and over? Amazing detail after you complete the game.

The subconscious censorship of ‘Toast’ instead of ‘Dead/Fainted’ 

The scribbled out photos if you do an aborted True Route was so cool and a foreshadowing.

Honestly I expected the twist coming. Like Sunny being the reason for the main mystery, but what I didn’t expect was Basil’s role in the plot. That was a nice surprise. Wish we got to see more of Reality Basil beyond his anxious avoidance self though because 90% of his scenes is imaginary Demon Child Basil which does not make me empathise with him in the slightest - The Basil that helped to cover up the secret, the one that I want to know more about, his hero/dependence complex, his guilt and subsequent descent into madness, is only ever vaguely implied. PLS GIVE MORE BASIL LORE-

The gathering the photo montage was honestly so cool and I love that cutscene so much of piecing together the truth. God what a good scene. The photo motif in this game - like the similarity yet difference between Headspace and Reality photos - is so good.

The motif of Omori kidnapping/killing/hiding Basil in the Headspace because he’s a walking trigger is really cool, you think that Basil is bad because of all the shadow Basil sprites you see (So. Many. Goddamn. Demon Basil Sprites.) but he’s actually ‘good’ in the sense that he’s the symbol of painful truth

The fact that Omori’s moveset is based around countering the buffs that each emotion gives the enemy - he has a move that acts first and does extra damage to Happy enemies and another that decreases speed if enemy is Happy (Happy enemies have speed up), a move that ignores defense and decreases defense against Sad enemies and another that greatly decreases defense against Sad enemies (Sad enemies have def up), and a move that decreases attack against Angry enemies (Angry enemies have atk up). The theme revolving around emotional manipulation/neutralising emotions is just amazing.

The ending was just... there. It was okay. I get it, it’s open-ended and supposed to be slightly hopeful but idk. Just didn’t hit me hard or emotionally. The extra cutscene with Basil was nice too I guess.

The tragedy of all the culmination of unfortunate events that could have been prevented (staircase - if he’d just calmed down, like the first thing he’d learnt, Basil’s intervention that made it worse) made me feel really sad though.

Oh yeah and Mari’s Theme is my favourite. It evokes so many emotions - calming at first but the more you play the game the more it starts to be associated with sadness, comforting of said sadness, bittersweetness, and sadness at knowing the great tragedy behind it all. Some of the other combat music themes in this game are also pretty great like Sweetheart’s castle battle music or against the Gators or Squall. Maybe I’ll post a list of my favourite ones later.

I’d actually watched a bit of NicoB’s playthrough of Omori but quit following the playthrough after the Life Jam bit because it got boring, but I’m happy I picked it up and got to play it and experience it for myself. Now I’m just going back and seeing his reactions to the game (like Reality Kel and Aubrey intros were great).

tldr: kel is best character in omori and you should play the game for him. 

[cockyswitchsong]

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Welcome to

Mingi Exposes the Members

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(1/7) HONGJOONG @joongielee

- he’s a lee! He screams ‘baby’ energy and I know Atiny agrees~

- Us ler/switch line like to take good care of him, he does so much and we like helping him relax and feel better :c

- obedient not bratty! Sits and takes whatever we dish out like a good lee~ teases us sometimes though to get what he wants

- Giggly! Doesn’t usually laugh too hard, squeals and bubbly giggles

- Squirmy even though he tries not to be :c easy to pin though (at least for me!) because smol™

- Wanna know where he’s most ticklish? :3 get ready to be exposed, hyung!

- He’s most ticklish on his legs! Thighs, knees, and calves. His feet are bad too! And his neck!

- As a ler, he cannot tease. He flusters himself too much! He can’t say ‘tickle’ or any variation of it aloud :c cutie Hyung

- His favourite members to tickle from what I have seen are Hwa-Hyung, Sangie and... probably me?

(2/7) SEONGHWA @hwaseongler

- Switchy, but only for some of us!

- Like he’s a ler hardcore but

- He melts for Joongie-Hyung and San and doesn’t mind receiving sometimes!

- Just gotta be at the right time and place and he might just accept it

- Shy shy shy lee!! Isn’t used to being tickled so be GENTLE with him!

- Tickled a lot by Hongjoong because he loves trusts him the most :c why can’t I wreck you, Hwa-Hyung? ;;

- Most ticklish on his hips! And ribs! Will scream if you get these spots. Who’s the loud one now, Hyung?!!

- Silent laughter from him is common too

- As a ler he’s a demon ;;

- Teases in every way possible and knows which teases make us melt?? I think he has like notes or something that he studies

- Like seriously though, verbal, physical, he’s got it down

- Surprisingly soft and merciful when actually tickling! He’s playful but he loves us and won’t let us die <3 thank you Hyungie, for not making us need a safe word!

- I don’t know who his favourite target is ;; he ruins all of us whenever we act up or he feels like it

(3/7) YUNHO @yungiggle

- my puppy best friend!!

- Is a really cute lee I simply must admit :c

- energetic! So much stamina! How does he do it

- Not afraid to ask us for tickles! He hesitates but it’s so sweet

- Will put his feet in our laps or stretch over us and he likes to give us that ‘🥺’ look y’know?

- We can’t even tease him into asking because he teases us back!!

- “Uh hello? My tummy is right here, why aren’t you doing anything??”

- Direct quote from earlier this week, Joongie can back me up on this one

- I don’t even know where he’s most ticklish he’s ticklish everywhere?? Yunho SPILL I NEED TO KNOW IT KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT

- I think it’s his feet or his tummy but he has never told me :c

- As a ler, he’s just as teasing but he’s soft!

- Doesn’t mind being gentle, he just likes making the lee squirm like a jerk

- Would rather make them giggle with one finger than have them screaming and honestly I might just kill him

- His favourite targets are the rest of the ‘99 line, including my poor innocent self :c

- He has confessed to me that he’s scared of Jongho but he’s jumped him a couple of times too

(4/7) YEOSANG @yeoswitch

- stupid bratty sub/lee ._.

- He’s gonna kill me for that oh my god-

- But it’s true!! I promise

- Likes to provoke the lers, by being an asshole or by showing himself off depends on how he’s feeling

- However

- The second you wiggle fingers in his direction

- He’s hiding and whining and being all shy

- Shy and blush shy and blush get CALLED OUT SANGIE

- SO easy to change his tune

- But he wants you to, of course

- So he’s a bitch to us until we snap but when he finally gets what he wants he’s tinie

- Cutest giggles!! Protecc™

- Worst spots?? Thighs? tummy?? Armpits? I’m not sure he screams a lot

- Ticklish hands! I’m not supposed to tell anyone though so ;; I’m dead

- as a ler he cannot verbally tease

- He can’t say ‘tickle’ or any variation of it, he straight up refuses to brAT

- Doesn’t really wreck any of us? Just gentle tweaks and pokes to mess with us usually

- Has started tickle fights just to leave or lose

- He only really tickles Woo and San and I guess me sometimes too but I think he’s scared of me ;;

(5/7) SAN @squeakysannie

- Ateez’s kitty I don’t make the rules

- Can’t believe some Atiny think he’s a dom ._. Come on guys

- He’s so tiny

- Biggest lee tbh

- Like Yunho, he’ll ask by showing off his spots but we usually tease him into verbally asking

- Has cried from being teased I’m so sorry San

- We just wanted to hear you say it ;;

- Super easy to manhandle and doesn’t even complain he likes being pinned

- He’s ticklish literally everywhere but his worst spot is his tummy, specifically his belly button?

- I’ve never heard someone scream like that like not even Woo

- That was a scary time

- As a ler

- He can’t

- Maybe if he teams up with someone but he really can’t do it it’s so cute

- Also can’t say ‘tickle’ or any variation

- So back to lee stuff

- Please treat him gently

- Soft tickles

- Praise

- PRAISE PRAISE HE HAS A PRAISE KINK

- I’m so sorry San ;;

(6/7) WOOYOUNG @laughing-woo

- another brat and I’m just as not sorry for saying it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- Bratty in a different way, less harsh

- Like Yeosang likes to talk back, roast us and straight up disobey

- But woo likes to pull pranks and is more playful

- Get punished in the same ways though because I mean that’s what they want

- However, unlike Yeosang, as a lee he’s loud and bubbly and not shy in the slightest

- Likes to play games and obey like trying to keep his arms and stuff in place

- Because he ‘doesn’t want to get punished worse’ mkay sure Woowoo~

- Isn’t good at these games though he flails and needs to be pinned FOR SURE

- OR INJURY WILL RESULT

- Whines, whimpers, begs

- One of the most ticklish so like we abuse that

- As a ler he’s just as chaotic?

- So many teases

- Fast hands

- Has the lee in tears within SECONDS I’ve experienced seen it happen

- Has gotten yelled at by the hyungs for almost killing us

- He means the best though! I love you Woo~

- Needs cuddles as aftercare for both giving and receiving, he won’t let you escape

- Much affection

- Soft baby

(7/) JONGHO

- You know how Jongho reacts to kisses?

- Same for tickles

- Just, screams

- Only a few of us have tried to tickle him before and we had to gang up on him at least three at a time ;;

- Doesn’t allow himself to laugh!!!!! Just PURE SCREECHING

- Literally just yells until we get concerned/intimidated and leave him alone ;;

- Doesn’t mean he won’t lee

- Ohohohohoho no

- Seonghwa, Yunho and Woo have actually managed to get him before

- He’s a shy lee

- Covers his face and tries so hard to stay still to avoid murder

- Flaps his hands madly to try and handle tickles

- Odd spots like his hands

- Also ticklish on his neck, ribs, knees and feet

- As a ler, mental torture ;;

- Everything that makes the lee feel weakest, he knows and uses against them

- Doesn’t verbal tease because he doesn’t need to

- He’s that good terrible

- Favourite targets are literally all of us none of us are safe

- He knows how to make all of us basically BOW to him

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Ah haha....

I’m in danger.

[orihime00sama]

Tobitate! Hanafuda - Fate/Prototype Route

Hello!

This is a translation of the Prototype route of the Toraburu Hanafuda Travel Journal game included in the PS Vita version of Realta Nua, Team “Miss Ayaka and her Three Knights” AKA the Otome route.

This is my first time translating something like this and I’m far from being good at Japanese, so there’s a bunch of lines I’m not sure about. If you have any suggestion or correction, please let me know. I’ll also be linking the translations to the videos in case you want to check out the original (or just hear the voices).

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Sajou Residence - Part 1

Ayaka: Hello, everyone. To those of you who are new, nice to meet you. I’m Ayaka Sajou. It’s a long story, but I’m a Master in the Holy Grail War. My Master’s Degree is the Seventh. It’s the lowest, the weakest. Honestly, I want to quit right now, but the circumstances won’t let me. By the way, I don’t have any relatives. I lost my Dad in the previous Holy Grail War, and my elder sister who was one of the previous Masters is… well.

Saber: Ayaka, you didn’t check the mailbox yet, right? I’ll go do it. After that, let’s have some tea.

Ayaka: This is Saber. The first Servant I summoned and made a contract with. He’s the ideal good young man any girl thinks of, in other words, someone like Prince Charming[1]. He’s so perfect that it makes me feel uncomfortable. Also, he’s a bit of an airhead.

Lancer: Osu, good morning~. Oh, the fridge’s got a lotta ham, ain’t it. And there’s sliced bread and eggs and… All that kinda stuff, huh.

Ayaka: That’s Lancer. In the past, he was our enemy but now he’s a barbarian who lodges in our house and raids our fridge without permission. He may be a borderline trespasser, but he’s helped us out many times, so I’ve got no choice but to let him do it. Give and take, give and take. Besides… if you ignore his crude side, he’s the easiest to understand.

Lancer: Oh, you’ve got a serious face early in the morning, Missy. Back to your usual criticisms? Keep your self-hatred in moderation, ‘kay?

Ayaka: I don’t want to hear that from someone who rummages through our fridge with no warnings. Leave me alone. Lancer, are you off today?

Lancer: Ah, I’ve got no plans for today. I’ll tend to the Missy’s garden, or maybe play with the dogs.

Saber: Unfortunately, tending to the garden is my job. It is not your turn to act. Why don’t you get back to your original sheath, Lancer?

Lancer: I’ve been free from the start. But since the Missy asked me to guard[2] her, I gotta do my job. There’s still some unscrupulous bunch left around. Like, for example, a wolf[3] in prince’s clothing.

Saber: Bold of you to say that. Now then, is it an honour or an insult to be treated as a wolf by a wild dog? What do you think, Ayaka?

Ayaka: I don’t know! More importantly, what’s that envelope? There’s two of them.

Saber: Ah, it looks like they were delivered this morning. Here you go.

Ayaka: Err, let me see… “Are you familiar with the hot spring that can make any wish come true? Here is the oldest and best hot spot in Fuyuki City －However, only the wishes of the first group will come true. Please be ready.” … So it says. What is this, are they joking?

Lancer: Incredible… Is it an invitation to a Holy Grail War from another place? What, Holy Grail Wars can happen anywhere?

Saber: Doesn’t it have different rules from ours? Here, Ayaka, another one.

Ayaka: … This is a memo and … a ticket for the bullet train? Let’s see… “I’ll be waiting for you at the Fuyuki Holy Grail Hot Spring ♥" … They’re totally looking down on us.

Saber: So, the Fuyuki Holy Grail is actually a hot spring. Ours was a hellish cauldron, so I guess they’re not similar.

Lancer: A hot spring, huh, not bad at all. But well, this is up to you, Missy. What will you do? The other side even sent an invitation to make sure you’d go. Will you jump in?

Ayaka: … That… going by my life plans, I don’t want to go but… (Going by my feelings, it made me mad… Besides, if that hot spring that makes wishes come true is real, then…)

Archer: I have heard the whole story!

Ayaka: Archer!? Where did you get in from?

Archer: Obviously, from the window! Don’t worry about the little details, Ayaka! Else your cheek lines, lovely and beautiful as a flamingo, will fall.

Lancer: Is that a compliment? That’s a compliment, right?

Saber: What have you come here for, Archer? As you can see, we’re in the middle of a morning reunion. If you’ve come here to settle things, come back through the front door one hour later.

Archer: Hah, you fools. Are you even Heroic Spirits, those proclaimed to have no match on the earth? From the very beginning, we are those who bloomed on the battlefield. We respond to challenges, trample down our enemies, and gather treasures.

Archer: I don’t know about a war someplace else, but if it is a Holy Grail War, then it’s a given that Heroic Spirits would assemble. How can I call myself the original Heroic Spirit, the Senpai of Holy Grail Wars, if I don’t respond to this challenge!?

Ayaka: ………………

Saber: Hmph. As usual, you are a very hot-blooded man. If you want to fight, feel free to do it on your own. I’m against exposing Ayaka to danger.

Lancer: But being overprotective is also something to think about. The Missy these days isn’t as frail as you think, Saber. Or what? Are you holing up at home so you can keep her to yourself?

Saber: Wha－ I, I don’t have such impure thoughts often.

Ayaka: Let’s go! Saber, I’m going to this Holy Grail Hot Spring. Get prepared.

Saber: Ayaka!? Hah, it was already too late the moment you decided it. It can’t be helped, I’m not on board with this but I’ll accompany you.

Lancer: Missy, do you need your long weapon? If you need it, I’ll lend it to you.

Ayaka: Of course, come with us, Lancer. And you too, Archer. The four of us will conquer Fuyuki City.

Archer: Now you’re talking! As expected from my princess, you know the time to fight.

Ayaka: We’ll depart in 20 minutes. I have to go gather the bird feathers in the yard, so wait until then.

(She runs off)

Saber: Now you’ve done it, Archer. You’re always leading Ayaka down the bad path.

Archer: Good or bad is for Ayaka to judge. You cannot blame me. More importantly… Hey, lend me your ears. I have an idea.

Saber: ?

Lancer: Hn?

Archer: Hot springs are this land’s highest form of leisure. I’ve heard that they are summer resorts where lovers and married couples stay in. How about it? The one who does best in this expedition will get to be in the same room as Ayaka.

Archer: If it is a reward for the battle, even Ayaka who always has her guard up cannot oppose to it. And after your minds and bodies relax in a famous hot spring, the flower of romance will bloom.

Saber: …

Lancer: Incredible… Wait, this is all in your head, right? Didn’t you fail with terrible women?

Archer: It is unavoidable. To debauch is a king’s duty. I have the obligation of consuming fruit and flesh.

Archer: However, what I truly cherish is the one single flower. I’ve gotten tired of rotten meat and juice. Now, what will you do, Saber, Lancer? Will you take a knight’s oath?

Lancer: No, so we’re keeping it a secret from the Missy?

Saber: Okay, I will take it. The one who does best will share a room with Ayaka, right?

Lancer: You’re on board with this!?

Saber: Archer’s proposal makes sense. This is something I never imagined even in my dreams, but now I’ll work together with this man.

Lancer: Good grief… It can’t be helped, I’m on board. It’s a principle to have the feast in front of you, after all.

Archer: HAHAHAHA, how bold, wild dog! Now then, let us duel fair and square, with sharing Ayaka’s room as stake!

Ayaka: Sorry to keep you waiting. What are you four doing? Did you always get along like this?

Saber: N-no, we were just discussing something. Don’t worry about. Once the battle is over, I’ll tell you everything.

Ayaka: In that case, it’s fine, I guess… Well then, let’s go. I don’t know about the Fuyuki Holy Grail War, but let’s show them a difference in history!

(Stage 1 – Vs Team Tokiomi)

Victory Quote:

Archer (Prototype): You fools! You mediocre Heroic Spirits shouldn’t stand before me! Especially you, that golden one over there. Wearing a full body golden armour, there are limits to how inelegant you can be! In that case, I shall take it.

[1] Prince on a white horse

[2] Likely referring to how Lancer becomes her Servant after she lost Saber (and he lost Misaya)

[3] the actual word used was “Okuriōkami” (送り狼) which apparently is a term for “a ‘gentleman’ who escorts a woman home, only to make a pass at her”.

—————–

Fuyuki – Emiya Residence - Part 2

Saber: Ayaka, how about we have lunch here? This mansion is well-maintained, and perfect for resting. Besides, I feel a strange affinity to it. Especially to that storehouse. It must be a renown work of architecture, there’s no mistaking it.

Lancer: I’m more interested on the inside of the house. Like, a surprise attack from the ceiling of the living room. I wonder why Japanese-style houses are so full of openings.

Archer: I am interested in that wall. It may be inferior to skyscrapers, but it has quite the charm to it. Well now, let’s go climb it.

Ayaka: It’s embarrassing, so please don’t wander around too much. What are you, middle schoolers on a field trip!?

Saber: My apologies, that was rude. Indeed, it’s as you say. Even if they are our enemies, we should act in moderation. It’s unfortunate but let’s refrain from lunching. But you’re not taking a break, right? Are you tired, Ayaka?

Ayaka: U-Uh-huh. I’m getting used to the Hanafuda duels but… Isn’t this city weird? Everyone walking around has empty eyes like a dead fish. Could it be a characteristic of this provincial city? Look, there’s a harbour nearby, right? Like an octopus monster came from the sea and turned all humans into its familiars.

Saber: That’s “something like a summon “. You still have that hobby of reading gloomy books like always, Ayaka. Haha.

Ayaka: Don’t call them gloomy! Who cares about my hobbies? We are talking about the dead fish eyes! Look, right there!

Kiritsugu: *chewing*

Saber: …. T-that… His eyes really are empty…

Ayaka: Looks like he didn’t notice us… He’s just been there in a hiding spot, eating from a plastic piece.

Kiritsugu: *chewing* … This is Iri’s homemade cooking. I can eat it. Of course I’ll eat it. Even if it’s onigiri that changed like depleted uranium. *chewing* Ah, I’m happy… Shit, I’m so happy that I even started crying.

Ayaka: It’s better if we leave him alone. He’s gross.

Saber, I know you made this lunch, but let’s leave. I’m sorry, but let’s have it later… Saber!?

Artoria: *chewing* It has a nostalgic, wild taste from somewhere but it’s not bad. Ah, could you give me some tea, lady over there? I’m holding the turkey with both hands, so my hands are busy.

Ayaka: S-S-Saber turned into a girl!? W-what’s going on!?

Saber: Ouch… To suddenly strike my head from behind, that’s unbecoming of the chivalry code… Wait, who are you!?

Artoria: Hmph, from what I see, you are a naïve man, Pendragon. While you collapsed, I took your delicious lunch!

Ayaka: Even if you play it cool, you already ruined it! Saber, who is this? Could she be your younger sister?

Saber: That’s what I want to know! Who on earth are you!? If you are a knight even in the slightest, then name yourself!

Artoria: Hmph, you say “even in the slightest” after I got you, you make me laugh. I am both your shadow and a possibility of your future. *chewing* Draw your sword, Holy Sword Wielder. Show me how much power the original wields.

Saber: … I wonder what’s this feeling of disappointment I never felt before… However, as you can see, we are both of the Saber Class. As an opponent, there is nothing lacking about you. Lancer, Archer, don’t interfe—re!?

Lancer: Oouaahh, what’s up with this hawk!? Don’t pull my feather accessory! It’s not from your nest!

Archer: Aaargh, step back, Animose! Why are there gorillas around the wall!? And you, Roland, don’t swing me around!  Don’t swing me around!  

Irisviel: Ufufufufu, go get them, wire animals! Flying Guillotine (Hawk’s Name) on the tights-less Lancer! Gattling Brothers (Gorillas’ Name) on the nudist Archer!

Irisviel: If you’re going to make them, gorillas really are the way to go! Primitive power is really different!

Kiritsugu: Iri… What on earth happened? … No, I have to observe this place. I’ve got to find out the reason why the two of us were in a hole!

Irisviel: Ufufu, hahahahaha! Anyone who invades my Sweet Home with Kiritsugu won’t be forgiven! Prepare yourselves, I’ll whip you to the skin of the butt and then throw you out penniless!

Ayaka: And over here, an incredible beauty is getting drunk! What on earth is going on in this city!?

(Stage 2 – Vs Team Kiritsugu)

Victory Quote:

Ayaka: We went a bit overboard… but no matter how you put it, those guys were weird… What’s going on with this city’s Holy Grail?

—————–

Part 3

Fuyuki/Prototype Grail Pit - Part 3

Ayaka: Is this… Fuyuki’s Holy Grail Hot Springs? Rather than a hot spring, this…

Lancer: It looks exactly like our Greater Grail. Did we get tricked?

Archer: No, we probably just took the wrong path. My intuition tells me that if we had gone up on that last crossroad, we’d get to the hot spring.

Ayaka: Is that so? Archer’s got an amazing nose for money and treasures, so I think it might be true… but the ticket says that it should be around here.

Archer: Let me see that… Hoh, I see, so that’s what’s going on. The way is indeed correct. However, it is not meant for us! Saber, this concerns only you!

Saber: What? Why only me?

Archer: FUHAHAHAHA, you still don’t understand, you oaf? This ticket wasn’t sent to Ayaka! It is a love letter overflowing with love that pinpointed you!

Saber: Wha-what!? Don’t tell me… Then, the one waiting for me here is…!

Manaka: SABER!! You’ve finally arrived!  

Saber: !!!

Manaka: Jeez, your face turned so pale. You’re so happy that your face went stiff…Saber really is my prince! I love you! I love you so much to the point I’d sacrifice every life in this planet, Saber!

Lancer: Well, we’re off then. Hang in there, ladykiller.

Archer: Fu, so you’re dropping out alone. Time to pay the piper[1], Saber.

Ayaka: ………

Manaka Sajou. My sister, six years my elder. She’s Saber’s former Master who, in the previous Holy Grail War, advanced through almost invincible. I don’t like to talk about her so I’ll spare you the details, but if I had to describe her, I’d say she’s a super devilish genius who wouldn’t die even if you killed her.

Manaka: Now, come over here, Saber. I prepared a special bath just for you. Oh, unless you’d rather have dinner first? Or just like last time in front of the Holy Grail, YOU’LL • HAVE • ME?

Ayaka: Huh, this is the first time I’ve heard about this, Saber. So something happened between you and my Big Sister. In front of the Greater Grail, too?

Saber: T-this is a misunderstanding! What happened was that I impaled (with the Holy Sword) a mad Manaka from behind with a thud!

Ayaka: From behind… with a thud… for real!?                                            

Manaka: Uh-huh, that’s right♥!  That passionate way, it felt like the world froze for a moment… That’s why… I’ll do the same to you, Saber. Goes without saying, I’ll do it from behind. Leaving no gaps, every nook and cranny of your body. Just like a large-flowered flower. No, like the stars of the shinning sky. Receive my tentacles until you’re all shiny and slippery♥!

Saber: That’s no good, Manaka. It’s true that I betrayed you twice. The first time when I backstabbed you. The second time when I made a contract with Ayaka. So, I’m prepared to have you seek revenge.

Ayaka: Saber…

Saber: But, now let’s remember words of love that are more heroine-like. A girl your age shouldn’t say things like “receive my tentacles"⋆.

Lancer & Ayaka: Urk…!

Manaka: Saber…! Yes, from now on I’ll be more careful! How about the lovely “Manaka Slaughter Whips”?

Ayaka: I’ve been thinking about it since back then, but could it be that you actually are a perfect match for Big Sister, Saber?

Lancer: Well, they’re both airheads, after all. Maybe they could work out as lovebirds[2].

Manaka: That’s right, you people I don’t know. Saber and I are fated lovers. I won’t forgive you if you get in our way. Or rather, I don’t need you. I’ll burn you all on the Greater Grail later.

Ayaka: ….! Don’t tell me, the townspeople looking dead inside was your doing, Big Sister?

Manaka: Yes. Since I had spare time waiting for Saber to come, I went and took over Fuyuki City. After all, in a wedding ceremony, the more the merrier, right? Of course, right after that, I’ll turn everyone into zombies.

Ayaka: … I really can’t let her do as she pleases… I feel bad for her, but just by being here she’s evil. Saber, Lancer, Archer, let’s go! This time for sure, I’ll seal my relative’s disgrace!

Manaka: Fufufu, very well. Welcome, Miss Obstruction. I’ll play with you to kill my bore— Eh? Relative? You? Such a plain character?

Ayaka: Oh geez, you really couldn’t tell…! Just how self-centered are you, Big Sister?

(Stage 3 – Vs Manaka)

Defeat Quote:

Manaka: Ahh, you finally came back to my hands, Saber! First, let’s have some tea, then an afternoon nap. I have so much I want to talk about with you!

Victory Quote:

Ayaka: Thanks for helping me, everyone. I couldn’t have won alon— eh? The Hot Spring as the reward? Right after this? Well, it can’t be helped if it’s a reward but… I have a bad feeling about this…

[1] Just adding this here because this was actually my first time hearing this idiom:

to pay expenses for something, and thus be in a position to be in control;

to pay a monetary or other debt or experience unfavourable consequences, especially when the payment or consequences are inevitable or a result of something one has enjoyed.

[2] Baka couple

—————-

Fuyuki Holy Grail Hot Springs -  Part 4 - Ending

Ayaka: And so, after we safely defeated Big Sister, put her to sleep with a sleeping pill, coffin-packed and delivered her to the Church… we finally arrived at the Hot Spring, but…

Ayaka: No way, mixed bathing!?

Lancer: Oh, this is something you don’t see often these days. The guy who made this was really smart.

Saber: Yes, this is what they call gender equality. By the way, Lancer, how about taking at least a towel? It’s minimal manners to wrap it around your waist.

Lancer: My bad. It’s been so long that I’ve forgotten. What about you, swimsuits are forbidden, y’know? We’re both men, so there’s nothing to hide, right?

Saber: Of course, I didn’t bring such a boorish thing. Having a swimsuit is desecrating the hot springs. Isn’t that right, Ayaka?

Ayaka:  Argh, you guys— No, Lancer is one thing, but Saber! This is a mixed bath, are you okay with this!? Could it be you don’t understand the meaning of mixed bath?

Saber: I do. It’s a public bath without a men’s bath and a women’s bath. I’ve heard that this culture has been familiar to Japan since the Edo period.

Lancer: Yeah. Well then, I’m going ahead to the dressing room. You should hurry too, Missy. You promised that the reward would be the hot springs. Don’t tell me you’re going to take that back?

Ayaka: I-it’s true that I said that, but…

Saber: Ayaka, a lord must always go through with their servants’ rewards. It goes without saying, but that’s a condition to becoming a first-rate Master.

Ayaka: Wha-wha-wha—

Saber: Well, it’s my turn. Come, let us take off our clothes and enter the hot spring.

Ayaka: Guh, Saber you idiot———! I can’t believe that only at times like this you guys get along…! (But this is bad, this development is bad…! Think, me! I can’t avoid the mixed bathing no matter what… In that case… That’s right!)

Ayaka: Wait, you two. A little timeout! I’m going in first, so until then, don’t go in!

Lancer: Uh? Well, I don’t mind.

Saber: Neither do I. Both getting in first or getting in later are good.

Ayaka: Geez, those animals! Heh, but that became fatal. Just you watch, this is my counterattack.

(That huge wall behind her is the result)

Saber & Lancer: Y-you had that move!?

Ayaka: Uff, I’m saved… “Make a wall to separate the genders in the hot spring.” I ended up using it for such a stupid wish but it’s a story that sprang up from the start. I guess a wish like this is something within my means.

Lancer: How could this be? The Missy’s Eleventh-Hour strength is the real deal… What will we do, Mr. Knight? Even though the treasure is right in front of us, we’ve been left in limbo.

Saber: …. Lancer, no matter how you put it, we are weapons of mass destruction. The Noble Phantasms we wield are not for saving people.

Lancer: Right. Fine, let’s destroy it.

Saber: Yes, let’s destroy it.

Ayaka: Wh— I can hear you clearly from here! What are those two thinking!?

Saber: Let’s do it on 3. Even if it’s a wall created by the Holy Grail, if it gets hit by a direct hit of our Noble Phantasms—

Archer: Hold it! And you still call yourselves renowned Heroic Spirits? How can you not understand a bashful girl’s feelings!?

Archer: You fools! Cool down your heads and reflect on your actions! If you fool around in the bedroom, that’s your secret, but this is a hot spring! A place for decent relationships!

Lancer: What…

Saber: … on earth?

Archer: In the first place, seeing the bride’s nakedness is only after marrying properly! I, the King of Heroes, will not allow you to destroy this wall without Ayaka’s permission! Now, correct yourselves, you idiots! Listen well! I won’t let you disgrace Ayaka’s purity while I’m alive!

Saber: S-such seriousness! I can’t believe it, are you Ayaka’s mother?

Archer: At least call me her Big Brother! I have the “reliable university student senpai” position, after all!

Lancer: Oh, in that case, I’m the unpopular host of the neighbourhood. I’m one of the Missy’s senpai in senior high school.

Saber: Wha… Then, what about me? Rider is the classmate, so what other positions are there?

Archer: Hm… How about the blond exchange student who homestays at the Sajou house?

Lancer: Oh, that sounds nice. How about one who speaks Japanese in a funny way but is actually the prince of a certain country? It’s a pretty fitting role, right?

Saber: Guh… It’s frustrating but I can’t deny it.

Saber: It looks fun, so let’s think about the setting a little more. In the meantime, what does Ayaka do in the first place?

Ayaka: Like I said, I can hear you clearly. They’re getting all excited… Don’t they actually get along really well? Geez, and I’m the only one here… Oh well, I don’t mind. It’s a nice bath, and it’s a refreshing travel mood. I’m glad I came.

Ayaka: In reality, these are just alternate versions of ourselves, but doing something like this once in a while isn’t bad. Right, Dad?

Saber: By the way, Ayaka. Why did you, who hates fighting, decide to do it this time? Were you attracted by the hot spring?

Ayaka: Hn? It’s not that I hate fighting, it’s just that I don’t like going through scary experiences.

Saber: What?

Ayaka: This time it was full of opponents we’d obviously beat. It’s just like Archer said, we’re their senpais. That’s why I didn’t think we’d lose to anyone except Big Sister. After all, they were all within our range, right?

Lancer: …

Archer: …

Saber: I understand what you want to say. Yes. It’s hard to explain but the one I fear the most is Ayaka.

—————–

Random Duel Quotes:

Ayaka

“All right, all right♪!”

“Uwaah… What a careless mistake…”

“Too bad for you!”

“Yay!”

Saber

“I won’t give you any openings.”

“I’ll be taking that.”

Lancer

“You shouldn’t look somewhere else.”

“Guess this is what they call ‘killing two birds with one stone’.”

“I’m not done going wild yet.”

Archer

“Praise this unfaltering procedure!”

“Something like this isn’t enough!”

Ayaka & Saber

A: “Please, come to me! Saber!”

S: Yes, here I go, Ayaka!“

S: "You’re doing well, Ayaka.”

A: “T-thanks… This is just the usual, though.”

S: “What, this is just a scratch.”

A: “Are you alright, Saber?”

Ayaka & Lancer

L: “Let’s start, Missy?”

A: “Right, this time it’s a speed match, Lancer!”

A: “Good job, Lancer.”

L: “Not yet, there’s still more to come, Missy.”

L: “Ouch…!”

A: “Lancer, here, have some ointment!”

Ayaka & Archer

A: “Are you alright, Ayaka?”

A: “Y-yes, thank you very much.”

Tokiomi & Kotomine

T: “Impossible! I refuse to accept such an ending!”

K: “Hoh? Are you that frustrated, my teacher?”

Gilgamesh:

“Rather than the nonsense of victory or defeat, what truly is an eyesore is that conceited, prideful face of yours! Let us continue. I won’t allow you to refuse!”

Artoria & Iri:

A: “I’ll stave them off here. You have to retreat!”

I: “It’s alright, Saber! Believe in your Master!”

Irisviel:

“Hanafuda duels sure are fun, Saber!”

“Whatever it takes, right?”

Artoria:

“If you still will not give me your name, then stand up and come at me!”

Kerry & Iri:

K: “It’s enough, Iri. We have to retreat for now.”

I: “Y-yes… I’m sorry, dear.”

Manaka:

“For a mere toy to try to defy me.”

“Come forth, city of decadence. The night is long, sweet and cruel.”

“You do really cruel things to a lady.”

“Save me, Saber!"  

—————— Character art

Ending CG in high quality

————–

My Final Thoughts

[tb5-heavenward]

You just know I'm going to ask about Covenant now, right?

well since you two are two of the only people who know about covenant (and i’m sorry bud, your editorial sensibilities are going to have to put up with my stylistic lower caps) and since I’ve finally watched that shitshow of a most recent episode, I am totally down to talk about covenant.

but first let’s talk a little bit about TAG

TAG is terrible.

Visually the show is gorgeous. It has improved by leaps and bounds and it was charming when it started and it is awesome now. WETA are absolutely the bedrock of what makes this show worth watching, and I love the visuals more and more as they continue to push those boundaries. The cinnamontography, etc.

The Thunderbirds are amazing. They are beautiful, intricate, wonderfully clever machines. Their pilots ain’t half bad either. If you know and truly love the show and think about them all as well and deeply as they deserve, I think it’s impossible to honestly pick a favourite. International Rescue is a fantastic premise. The Tracys and their associates are all strong, compelling characters who have been iterated into an updated retro-future and made universally deeper and more interesting.

The bread and butter conceit of the show is awesome, the tension and conflict and creativity around solving complex problems that they manage to demonstrate in the course of a twenty-two minute episode sometimes just boggles the mind. When IR gets put up against the forces of nature and straight bad luck and pure, audacious dumbassery, we have gotten some of the best moments this show has to offer.

And those first season episodes were ugly as shit and everybody sounded the same and there were maybe three spare models between the entire NPC cast, but my GOD did S1 ever have heart. The soul of the show belongs to S1 and no one will change my mind about that. Try it. EOS was incredible. Skyhook was the definition of a balanced ensemble episode. Fireflash. Tunnels of Time. Relic. Recharge. Extraction. S2 came back swinging out of the gate with Ghost Ship. Up from the Depths was an absolute masterclass and actually changed the stakes in the show for the first time. Bolt from the Blue. Power Play. Hyperspeed. We all know which episodes were fucking good as hell. S3 comes out and the visuals have improved yet further. They have firmly found their feet as animators and as actors and as characters. We are finally actually starting to learn about these boys and their father, the most glaringly obvious hole in the show at large. Night and Day. Life Signs. And then SOS 1/2 and a complete and total paradigm shift. There is a sense of mortality to TAG now and it is an edge of realism that SHOULD be able to elevate it beyond what it’s been so far.

And yet.

TAG is fucking terrible.

Five years on, I am entitled to say, TAG is absolutely the goddamn worst sometimes, holy fucking shit. And what makes that terribleness terrible in and of itself—is that it’s because this show fails to recognize its most fundamental strengths. It fails to know what its audience will really connect to. And it’s because the writers’ room must be the goddamn wild west at this point, with the sort of nonsense these fucks are throwing at the wall and hoping to see it stick. It’s because whoever is in charge of the overall narrative arc of these seventy-odd episodes has not done what’s necessary to ensure TAG’s cohesion as a unified work.

(y’all hang onto your butts, i’m gonna do another brick wall metaphor.)

So what we have, five years on and seventy-odd episodes later, is a heap of bricks that WANT to be a wall, and we’re led to the impression that they’re SUPPOSED to be a wall, but they haven’t been put together by any single person. They have been put together by a rotating cast of a few dozen people who orient the bricks they’re given in slightly different ways sometimes, or who lay them at odd angles or who brought their own bricks from home for some reason. David Tennant is there. He must have cost at least half the budget for all of S2. All in all, he’s just another brick in the wall.

We know by this point that there is some asshole vaguely in charge of the idea of the wall. You can kind of tell that he’s at least heard of walls and he would definitely like to build one, but he isn’t exactly making it happen. There is an edifice here. It is wall-like, in some regions. At the end of the day though, most people who come across it also step over it, no problem. Or they chisel out the bricks that look to be worth saving and kick the rest of the wall over. That’s just fandom. That’s what fandom does.

Now, it is necessary at any point when talking about children’s media to talk about another series that ran three seasons over sixty-one episodes, and covered a level of geopolitical conflict over the course of a single year from the perspective of five incredibly gifted young people, all of whom were complex and flawed and sympathetic, and who knew they were responsible with putting the world to right with their own hands and set about doing that in the face of incredible odds, against villains who were no less than ruthlessly sociopathic.

ATLA sets a high bar. TAG was never going to be ATLA.

But fuck, I wish it had tried.

I wish the people who had set out to remake this story had sat down together and said, “Over the course of the next three seasons, we will tell the story of what International Rescue is. We will explain how it came to be. We will have strong themes that persist through the show and repeat themselves for emphasis: One Problem At A Time, You Can’t Save Everyone, Someone Has To Try. We will explain who these boys are and how they came to be this way. We will make it deeply and obviously clear what they do, how they do it, and why. We will give them limits. We will let them fail. We will give them flaws, we will let them clash with each other. We will let them grow and change. We will give them one deep, powerful loss that is the bedrock of what they became. We will put a powerful force in the world that loathes and opposes them at all costs. We will give them a tiny fragment of hope to chase and chase and chase and let them catch it only at the moment when they’v’e finally learned that they can let it go.”

I wish there had been rules. I wish there hadn’t been a new villain crammed into every season, in a show where the villains are objectively the weakest part. To add four villains to a show that barely has room for one and then to expect to make them ALL have a sympathetic edge somehow—it’s absolute fucking idiocy. I don’t care that The Hood is Kayo’s Uncle and Smiled In a Picture One Time. I don’t care that The Mechanic Is Apparently Being Mind Controlled Though No Indication Of That Was Given At Any Point in His History Until We Were Told So Explicitly. I don’t fucking CARE that Havoc Gets Yelled At By Her Boss Who Is Mean. I don’t give a shit that Fuse Is Apparently Too Stupid To Have Recognized The Moral Component Of Any Of His Criminal Acts Up Until He Inflicts Them On The Tracys.

You know which villains are objectively incredible in this show? Langstrom Fischler. Professor Harold. Francois Lemaire. Ned Fucking Tedford, who is a villain on the grounds that he is an obstacle, a problem to be solved, a concept of a person so hapless that they have multiple times strayed in the most incredible kind of peril. The strongest villains in this show are the ones who are just PEOPLE. People who are being careless. Or who are being greedy. Or who are being self-aggrandizing. People who exhibit traits equal and opposite to what our boys in blue exemplify.

I don’t know. We’re coming to the end of S3, we’re nearing their grand, incredible climax, this promised moment of potential reunion—and I wish I cared. I really wish I could. But there’s so much clutter. There’s so much their pulling DIRECTLY out of their asses in the home stretch. There are so many loose threads, there are so many concepts that were introduced and then never explored, or which were introduced in the end game and then never reinforced. There is so much information that we should have had from the start, so many mysteries that went unsolved and uncared about because they were unmentioned. There is not enough room for them to resolve anything in a meanignful way. There it so much that it seems like THEY didn’t know, and they SHOULD HAVE. They had time. Five fucking years, they had so much time to figure this out. And yet.

anyway.

So, covenant. Covenant basically a codeword for what I would’ve done differently, the last time I got mad about this whole endemic problem with the writing in this show, round about two years ago now.

Covenant is just a good word, really, and while it means something as a title, that relevance has kind of degraded a bit. It was going to be a rewrite of the end of Season 2, and sort of a retrofitting of Season 2 as a whole. It was going to explore the ideas that they put down and then never picked up, it was going to seriously address a lot of the core conflicts in the show and set things in motion to resolve those problems. I have it started. I have a good couple thousand words of the beginning, but it’s a good enough beginning that it could potentially begin something else, and so I won’t publish it here, in case I end up using it somewhere else. As is, it’s a priveleged-eyes-only sort of work, it’s only really been passed around my inner circle. If anyone is interested in hearing more about that, hit me up and I’ll elabourate. But for now, it is quarter past eleven, and I have ranted for long enough.

[lowkeyaesthvtic]

Evil Karma - Chapter 9

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Word Count: 1,836

Summary: You ever hear of making a deal with the devil? Sofi’s making a deal with the Doctor.

Pairings: None, other than some slight Harry x OC in the beginning

Rating: T for TWO swear words

Warning: two swear word, brief mention of child death

Tags:@hookedradge @descendantofthesparrow @amityravenclawelf @newtshairdryer @curse-brekker (anybody who wants to be added can DM me)

The Isle was always fun to walk through with Harry by my side. After the two of us made our relationship with Uma public and as my status on the Isle began to grow, the concept of personal space became smaller and smaller to us. We practically run this place like it’s our own kingdom, we shouldn’t have to make way for measly little ants. It sounds a little stuck up, but it was kind of how we looked at it. But if I thought that just walking through the Isle was a buzz, zooming through the alleyways on a bright purple scooter stolen from a poser princess was quite the drunken high. Speeding through the bazaar across from the chip shoppe with the wind blowing through my hair and the sea salt scent hitting me harder than ever before was the closest thing to euphoric that I had experienced since my first ‘long night’ with my captain and fellow first mate.

I couldn’t get too carried away, however. Now that Mal was on the Isle, I needed to get the things I needed for this plan before it was too late. As we started to get close to Dr. Facilier’s Voodoo Arcade, I tapped firmly on Harry’s shoulders. He slowed down and removed his helmet. “Why did we stop?”

“I need some groceries from here. I’ll meet you back at Uma’s in half an hour.”

“Uh...duckling,” Harry paused, what was he so confused about? “This is an arcade.”

“I don’t mean literal groceries, Harry. You know what I’m talking about.” Silence. He still looked confused. Oh for wicked’s sake it’s a good thing he’s pretty. I leaned closer to him to whisper. “Harry. Ingredients. For the potion?” Harry widened his eyes in realization and quickly returned to a look of question.

“You’re going to get that by yourself? Are you sure about that?”

“Um...yes? Look, as much as I love how you get when you’re angry and protective, we can’t have that around the Doctor. It’s not going to take long, anyway. He knows that he owes my family a favor, and even if he didn’t, I’m sure he’ll jump at the chance to avenge Mateo’s death. From what I heard, he’s one of the only parents here on the Isle that seems to care about his kids.” I jumped off the seat of the scooter and turned to face Harry, who had hung the helmet on one of the bike’s handles. “Don’t worry, okay? I’ve got my dagger in my left pocket and my chains in my right. Worst case scenario, the Isle loses another iconic villain and I have to wash my dagger when I come back to the Chip Shoppe.” I may or may not have exaggerated a bit, but Harry needed to know that I don’t need protection. Not this time around. Truthfully, I had no intention of even hurting the guy. Scare him, maybe. But if I laid too much of a hurtful finger on him or any of his kids, his friends on the other side would have me dead within the hour.

Harry rolled his eyes and threw the helmet off to the side of the alley. “Fine. But if you’re not back at the Chip Shoppe in an hour, I’m sending Gil and the crew after you.” I smiled in response as he raced away with a maniacal laugh. I turned towards the metal door to the arcade. Before I could even knock on the door, it had opened as if commanded by a magical spell. What I saw next was something I had not quite expected. She was short and clearly of a young age. Her skin had that familiar dark tone. Not the same kind that Uma had, no. This tone was more of a caramel shade while Uma’s was of semisweet chocolate. Her hair was pink and incredibly frizzed out. Her clothes were patched together and sewn very last minute. It was something I’m sure the Isle kids love, but the Auradon kids would likely scoff and tease at. 

“Our games are out of order, come back later.” She began to close the door when I used my arm to prop it open. She had a strong mind, but her physical stature was nowhere near a match for mine.

“I’m not here for your games…” I read the back of the fan of cards she held in her hand. Celia’s Fortune Emporium. It seems the little girl had a bit of her own business going. “..Celia. And I’m not here for a card reading, either. I need to speak to the Doctor.” Celia walked out of the arcade and closed the door behind her, kicking a small piece of wood in to wedge the door open. 

“Why do you wanna speak to my dad? I saw you come in with Hook, there’s no way you mean any good.” I quietly chuckled and crossed my arms across my chest. This girl was gonna make some waves someday, that was easy to tell.

“Good eye, but this has nothing to do with Harry. I’m here because your dad owes my family a favor, and I’ve come here to collect it. Simple as that.” Celia eyed me up and down skeptically.

“My dad doesn’t owe anyone anything. People owe him and he always gets his cut.” 

“There’s a first time for everything, little rascal. Now come on, get yourself inside, you got a business to run!” The door opened wide and Dr Facilier himself walked through. Celia smiled and quickly walked inside, hugging her father on the way in. Dr Facilier turned to me and kicked the piece of wood away from the door, causing it to slowly shut. “Now I never thought I’d say this, Sofi, but you grew up!”

“Way to state the obvious, Doc.” I could see Celia peering through the envelope slip in the door. I never thought much about Mateo since the day I found him, but seeing little Celia’s eyes made me remember how much of a friend he was to me. 

Even when he found out that his feelings for me weren’t shared, he insisted that he stay by my side as a right hand man of sorts. I was disgusted by the idea at first, especially in the mere days after my dad’s death. I scoffed and nearly gagged at the idea of a chain of command. I did what I did because I wanted to be fully and completely in charge of Neverland. However, there was quite a lot that had to be done. Not to mention that after multiple rounds of training, Mateo had become one of the strongest fighters Neverland had to offer. Little did I know he would need to use said knowledge to fight off a princess, a baby dragon, a dog lover and a thief who really needed a haircut.

“She has his eyes, you know. His smile too. Mateo’s.”

“Is that why you’re here? You’ve brought my boy to me? I swear since that attack on Neverland I’ve been scouring the Isle trying to find him but nobody’s said anything yet.” Oh no. I took a step closer to him, inhaling deep. 

“Doc, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Mateo’s dead. All of the Lost Boys died when Mal and her friends invaded us. I only survived because I had the power to make a portal and escape.”

“You’re lying. Those kids came for Pan and Pan fled the scene. That Mal girl said that all the Lost Boys were taken care of.” His tone was firm, but there was a sliver of him that already knew what I was telling him was true. 

“Pan’s been dead for years. Sure, they came for him, but the only way they would have found him is by picking up his bones in the Echo Caves. The Lost Boys did what they were ordered to do, protect their home by any means necessary. If it’s any consolation, he died loyal.” Silence. He knew, he didn’t want to admit it, but he knew he had lost his son. His silence made sense, tears on the Isle were considered the weakest potion of all, especially coming from a man. “What if I told you there was a way to avenge him? Him and all those boys that died protecting their home?”

“I’m guessing this is where your favor comes in? Nothing too high, girl. The favor was for your father, not you.”

“Just because my father’s dead, doesn’t mean the favor is too. Honestly, it’s a bit hefty. But the reward will be oh so sweet.” I take out a piece of paper that I had taken from the salon. As soon as I saw Mal I knew the plan was in motion. I quickly wrote down the things I needed and stuck it in my shirt until I knew I would need it again. “I need enough of everything on here for two gulps. And I need the exact ingredients. No substitutions. No knock-offs. And especially no exclusions. I watched as he read through the list. Everything on his face seemed normal and monotone until he got to the last four ingredients.

“A poisoned apple...three dalmatian bones...dust from a genie’s lamp?” He became bug eyed when he read the final touch. “Hair from a royal beast? Okay, there’s no way I can get that.” Oops. I honestly didn’t mean to write that one there.

“Oh, skip that last one. Uma and I are getting that one ourselves. But you read everything else correctly.”

“Are you out of your goddamn mind? We’re talking about going into the homes of some of the most dangerous villains on this island and stealing their prized possessions! I hope you know this ain’t gonna be easy!”

“Do you want an easy Sunday or do you want to avenge your son?” He looked up from the paper, a glint in his eye strong enough to kill. “You can get them whenever you want, but don’t put them into any kind of cauldron until I come back to you. All of these ingredients need to be put in at the same time. Do we have a deal, Doctor?” After a few moments of what I only assume could be his own mental debate, Dr. Facilier stuck the paper in his jacket pocket and smiled. “I guess it’s time for my friends on the other side do a little bit of dirty work. But let me tell you now, island child, if this plan of yours goes wrong, you and your pirates will be in a bad spot.” All I did in response was shake his hand, turn around, and walk away. 

“Don’t worry boys,” I whisper to myself as I find myself getting closer and closer to the Chip Shoppe. “Your deaths will be avenged. Those shit excuses for VKs are going to wish they were never born.”

[jolexfanfics]

jo is feeling better, therapy is helping and she tries to convince alex to go to therapy too

“Dr. Karev, it’s so nice to put a face to the name I’ve heard so much about.” The therapist greeted Alex as he and Jo sat on the big couch across from her as Jo had done so many times before by herself. Jo was in the final weeks of her outpatient treatment after successfully completing her inpatient treatment and the last step was to include Alex in her weekly therapy sessions. This was the part Jo was actually excited about. However, her husband was reluctant. Alex saw how therapy had helped Jo overcome her struggles and cope with her depression better than he could’ve imagined, but that didn’t mean that he needed it or that they needed it together as a couple. I don’t have a problem. Alex had said with annoyance the first time she brought it up. And we don’t have any problems. We’re happy now. Jo had reminded him for the millionth time that even though they were in a better place now, they didn’t need to be on the verge of a divorce to see a therapist. After a lot of talking and convincing, Alex finally caved and agreed to go “just this time.”

“First I want to start with the question we start with every session: how are you feeling today?” Jo could feel Alex’s nerves and she gave his hand a gentle squeeze to reassure him. She looked over at him to see if he would answer, but when he didn’t she decided to go first.

“I feel good.” Jo replied honestly. “I don’t feel great, but I feel better everyday.” She and the doctor both turned their attention to Alex, waiting for him to go.

“I don’t know.” He replied with a shrug. He felt like a little boy back in school, when he’d get sent to the principals office for acting out and they’d tried to talk him about his feelings and why he misbehaved so much.

“That’s okay.” The doctor replied patiently. “Hopefully we’ll be able to change that answer by the end of our time together.”

Jo kept her fingers laced in Alex’s, willing her energy to spread from her fingertips to his. She knew this wasn’t easy for Alex, but after everything they’d been through she’d hoped he would at least give it a fair shot.

“So Jo, tell me why you decided to bring Alex with you today.”

“Alex and I….” she rubbed her thumb nervously against the back of his hand, “We’ve been through a lot. Together and separately. And our one year anniversary is coming up and….I think this is the best thing for us.”

“And Alex, why did you agree to join Jo today?”

Jo looked over at Alex but he was looking down at their hands. He sat still for a moment. “My mom was sad a lot over my dad when I was growing up. I don’t wanna see Jo sad like that ever. I don’t wanna see our kids see her sad like how my siblings and I saw our mom.”

Jo was shocked. Out of all of the answers she expected to come from him, that was the last one. She knew Alex had always struggled with understanding mental illness in the people he loved, but the fact that he maybe blamed himself broke her heart. She blinked rapidly as she tried to fight the tears that threatened to escape which the doctor noticed instantly.

“Jo, why does that make you emotional?”

Alex looked up at Jo for the first time and frowned when he noticed her trying not to cry. “It makes me mad. At myself. That he thinks this is his fault.” She paused to take a deep breath. “I’m not sad because of him. He’s the only person that keeps me alive most days. And I’ve been a burden on his happiness.”

“And do you feel that way, Alex? Like Jo has been a burden on your happiness?”

“Never.” Alex wanted to punch a hole through a wall. Jo could never be a burden on his happiness. She was his happiness. He thought back to the minute they met, how he had teased her, how she had confided in him. How they were able to be goofy and annoying together but also talk about medicine and work on patients together. He could still remember their first kiss like it was yesterday, and how since that moment all he’d wanted to do was make her happy and instead now felt like he failed.

“Alex, what bothers you about Jo?” The therapist asked, jotting down notes as she casually jumped to the next question.

He looked at the doctor in confusion. Jo was already upset, there was no way he was about to piss her off even more. He stared her down, hoping if he gave her a mean enough glare she would move on to the next question—a better question—but she didn’t budge.

“What bothers me about Jo is uh…” Alex spun the invisible game show wheel in his head, “She sometimes forgets to replace the paper towel roll in the kitchen and the dishes don’t dry themselves.”

“Okay…” the therapist continued scribbling on her notepad. “And what else?”

Alex shrugged nonchalantly. “That’s it.”

“It doesn’t bother you when Jo lays in bed all day and refuses to make conversation with you?” She had struck a nerve and Jo could feel it without even looking at him.

“What about sex? Does it bother you when Jo has little to no sex drive?”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” Alex instantly barked back in defense. Jo held onto his arm in an attempt to calm him down and keep him pinned to the couch even though the therapist wasn’t phased by Alex’s sudden anger.

“So that bothers you. Do you tell Jo that it bothers you?” Alex huffed and flopped back against the couch. He didn’t want to do this anymore. He didn’t understand how this was helping him or Jo. When he made it clear he was no longer participating, the therapist moved on and directed the same question to her.

“And Jo? What bothers you about Alex?” Had this been a few months ago, Jo would’ve shut down herself. She would’ve gotten mad at Alex for behaving like an enraged teenager and sworn off the conversation entirely. But she knew if they were ever going to move forward, this was the first step towards doing so.

“This.” She turned to face Alex, but was still talking at the therapist. “The way we communicate when we’re upset bothers me. When Alex and I are great, we are absolutely, completely great. But when we’re bad…” she trailed off for a moment, not wanting to finish that thought, “our communication goes to hell. And that bothers me. We can’t get through nine months of pregnancy and eighteen plus years of a child if we don’t learn how to communicate.”

Alex snapped back into attention at the mention of their potential future children. After everything that had happened in the past few months, he wasn’t even sure Jo had wanted children anymore, and he had been so worried about her, he had completely put the idea of children on the back burner. Hearing her bring up kids anywhere in the near future after everything she’d been through softened him a bit, and he knew that what Jo was saying was right, even if it bruised his ego a little bit.

“Jo and I both get angry.” Alex chimed in quietly. “We get angry and we’re quick to react and then quick to shut down.”

The therapist nodded, looking between the two of them, “and would you say that’s your weakest point as a couple?”

“Yes.” They both replied in unison.

“And it doesn’t bother me that we don’t have sex all the time.” Alex added, directing that part specifically over at his wife. “It bothers me that she doesn’t even wanna look at me sometimes. Or that I can’t even ask her what’s wrong without her telling me to get lost or leave her alone.”

Jo frowned at how hurt Alex sounded. This whole time she had been so focused on herself she had essentially abandoned her husband and her marriage and she never thought once how that must have made him feel as a person. Her depression was her battle, but she hadn’t realized she wasn’t the only one fighting it. She reached for his hand again and when he took it without hesitation, she knew that they were actually getting somewhere.

“Alex, name three things you love about Jo.”

This was an easy question Alex had no problem answering. “Three things I love about Jo are her smile, her ambition, and the way she makes me laugh.”

“You two laugh a lot together?” The therapist smiled as she watched both Jo and Alex lighten up a bit.

“Always.” Alex smiled over at Jo and she met his gaze. “Jo makes me laugh more than anyone I’ve ever met.”

“And Jo, three things you love about Alex.”

“I love the way Alex cares about kids. I always think if he cares this much about kids that aren’t his own, I can only imagine the love he’ll have for our kids.” She smiled back at him and this time it was his turn to give her a reassuring squeeze. “I love that Alex is protective. Even though it has gotten him into trouble, I have never worried once that Alex wouldn’t be there to protect me.”

“And I love that Alex is my best friend. He was my best friend before he was my boyfriend, he was my best friend when he was my boyfriend, and now he’s my best friend and my husband. He’s who I think about when I’m lying next to him at night before I go to sleep and who I wake up thinking about the next morning. Even through all of this he has been my best friend. And I’m gonna be his as long as he’ll let me.”

Jo smiled at Alex and bit back a grin when she noticed him getting choked up. He quickly shook it off and playfully nudged her in the side, attempting to get her to leave him alone.

“And lastly, we’ll end this with the same question we started with: how are you feeling?”

“I feel proud.” Jo said confidently. “I know this is a big step for Alex and I’m proud of him. He didn’t have to come today and he did anyway.” She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his temple.

“I feel…relieved.” Alex said truthfully. “I’m relieved my wife is okay. I’m relieved that I get to see her laugh and smile again and I’m relieved to know that even if things do get bad again, we’ll know how to make them better.”

Both Jo and the therapist seemed pleasantly surprised at his answer. “Well that’s great to hear Alex. I hope we’ll see you in here again soon.” 

They both had a long road ahead of them but they now knew that the two of them would get through it together. And maybe one day along the line, Alex would even give therapy a shot by himself.

[chaoscores]

about gil!

ya’ll  i  got  carried  away  with  my  own  dumbassery  but  tbh  u  can  just  read  these  3  it’s  enough  lmao

—   for  someone  who  was  raised  his  entire  life  in  a  tavern,    he’s  not  that  knowledgeable  about  alcohol.    he  mainly  worked  cleaning  tables  at  closing  time  and  cleaning  cups  so  he  doesn’t  have  bartending  experience.    he’s  not  much  of  a  drinker,    only  doing  so  socially,    so  he  tends  to  just  take  whatever  people  give  him  and  hope  it’s  nice  enough  to  swallow.

—   he’s  not  littered  in  tattoos  but  he  does  have  a  few  stick  n’  pokes  he  got  while  he  was  a  teenager  on  the  isle.    they  have  absolutely  no  meaning  and  were  probably  his  friends  best  attempts  at  re-drawing  things  gil  found  funny.    he  also  probably  has  some  tattoos  that  he  had  to  get  either  because  he  lost  a  bet  or  in  a  game  of truth  or  dare.

—   for  five  days,    his  name  was  also  gaston  (his  mom  says  it  was  going  to  be  the  fourth  or  junior  junior,  they  just  hadn’t  worked  it  out  at  that  point)   but  he  was  a  very  sickly  baby  with  breathing  troubles,  and  his  father  didn’t  want  a  weak  baby  to  bear  the  same  name  as  him.    for  a  further  six  days  he  had  no  name.     gil,   himself,   doesn’t  know  how  exactly  he  got  his  name  in  the  end  but  he  doesn’t  really  mind  he’s  not  another  gaston,    if  anything  it  makes  it  easier  for  people  to  figure  out  who  he  is.

—   he  can  and  will  rank  his  favourite  family  members  in  order  (and  he  has  had  his  head  smacked  because  of  it),   out  loud.    his  mom  comes  first,    because  she’s  amazing  and  kind  and  beautiful,    and  he’s  a  mommy’s  boy.    next  is  gaston  the  third,    cause  he’s  his  big  brother  but  he’s  nicer  to  him  than  his  big  big  brother,    and  then  there’s  gastonette  because  she’s  his  big  sister  and  was  also  very  nice  to  him  growing  up.    his  dad  only  makes  the  list  because  one  time  he  didn’t  mention  him  and  he  berated  him  for  a  half  hour  about  how  he  was  a  product  of  his  loins,    his  fruits  of  passion  so  now  he  says  his  dad  last  because  gross.    gaston  jr  is  a  dick  and gil  does  not  give  a  flying  fuck  if  he  hears  him  because  he  is  and  he’s  the  little  brother  type  who  does  not  know  when  to  shut  the  fuck  up  before  he  gets  his  ass  beat.

—   if  you  ask  about  his  parents,    he  will  immediately  start  talking  about  his  mother  because,   as  stated  above,    he  is  a  total  momma’s  boy  and  loves  to  brag  about  her.    as  for  his  relationship  with  his  father,    it’s  very  strained  bordering  on  non-existant.    most  of  gil’s  childhood,    gaston  deemed  him  to  be  the  weakest  of  the  children,    only  as  strong  as  he  is  because  he  is  the  son  of  ‘such  a  man  as  me’  but  the  older  gil  got  and  the  more  it  became  apparent  that  he  walked  to  the  beat  of  his  own  drum,    the  more  gaston  took  less  interest  in  his  youngest  child.    his  son’s  clear  fluid  sexuality  and  his  lack  of  shame  for  it  is  something  that  cemented  their  relationships  demise.    that  being  said,    gil  does    —   to  some  extent   —   idolise  his  father  for  all  his  feats.

—   while  he  doesn’t  necessarily  work  there,    it’s  somewhat  of  an  unspoken  rule  that  the  lost  revenge  crew  help  out  at  ursula’s  fish  and  chips’  shop.    most  of  the  time,   he’s  put  to  work  with  heavy  lifting  crates  and  decorating  whenever  the  sea  witch  decides  she  wanted  to  celebrate  a  holiday.

—   i’ve  said  this  before  and  i  will  say  it  again:    gil  has  100%  sat  uma  and  harry  down  and  been  like  ‘let’s  get  a  bunk  bed’  and  when  they’re  like ‘there’s  three  of  us?’,    he’s  looked  at  them  very  plainly  and  said  ‘uma  get’s  top  bunk  cause  she’s  the  captain,  duh.’    cue  harry  just  staring  at  gil  like  ‘okay... and’  so  this  dumbass  is  like  ‘we’re  top n’  tailin’  it  dude’.    he  has  been  shot  down  but  he  will  fight  for  it.

—   alternatively  to  the  above,    if  this  was  an  au  and  he  wasn’t  raised  on  the  isle  i  100%  believe  his  big  goal  would  be  to  get  a  race  car  bed.

—   while  not  at  the  level  where  he’s  a  borderline  kleptomaniac,    stealing  was  so  common-place  on  the  isle  that  gil  just  sometimes  forgets  he’s  supposed  to  pay  for  things.    ironically,    it’s  been  jay  who  has  been  working  with  him  to  not  steal  while  they’ve  been  travelling  and  thankfully  he’s  only  banned  from  tashbaan.

—   he  could  be  considered  either  extremely  thrifty  or  a  dumpster  diver,    and  honestly  he  doesn’t  understand  the  huge  difference.    

—   he’s  quite  good  at  fixing  things,    though  it’s  usually  done  by  trial  and  error.    you  need  your  roof  retiling?    gill can  try  and  maybe  he  finds  the  materials  in  the  trash  near  the  wharf  that  end  up  being  perfect.    your  clothes  are  falling  apart  but  you  know  if  you  just  patch  them  up  they’ll  be  good  for  another few years?    don’t  worry  gil’s  been  patching  up  his  families  attire  for  years  thanks  to  his  mom  teaching  how  to  sew.

—   he  has  had  a  phone  for  maybe??  6  months  and  in  that  time  everyone  in  his  contacts  list  has  a  contact  id  photo  that  was  either  willingly  taken  or  was  taken  when  he  just  thrust  into  their  face  and  an  emoji  he  says  ‘matches  the  vibes’  of  that  person.    all  the  legumes  have  some  variant  of  an  angry  looking  emoji  (e.g.  junior  has  the  devil  emoji)

—   while  he  might  not  be  the  brightest,    sooner  or  later  gil  tends  to  get  on  the  right  track.    he’s  got  absolutely  no  filter,    which  has  often  led  to  instances  where  uma  or  harry  have  had  to  step  in  when  he’s  offended  someone  and  tell  them  he’s  just  an  idiot,  and   —   much  like  a  child   —   will  just  say  what  he  sees  sometimes.    the  latter  is  the  reason  uma  typically  has  him  as  a  scout  because  he’ll  just  come  back  to  the  ship  and  list  off  all  the  things  he  heard  and  saw   (e.g.  a  squirrel  and  a  seagull  fighting  over  bread,   lady  tremaine  opening  the  hair  shop  at  6pm  which  is  sketchy,  jot  that  down)

[glapplebloom]

Surely after the crossover with the original Teen Titans TTG could make a decent one with Scooby Doo right? ... Right..?

Before I begin, there are three types of episodes I really enjoy: Crossovers (be it with wrestlers in shows or between a show I watch and another), Musical Episodes (will watch even if I don’t follow the series), and episodes about Game Shows. Its the fun of the game show with the safety net of it being scripted. In fact, below is one of my favorite jokes about the Family Feud that was done on a show...

So when I heard Teen Titans Go is going to have a Family Feud episode with Scooby Doo, I was thinking of all the fun things they could do with a concept like that. But sadly none of that comes...

It begins with Control Freak interrupting their viewing of the Family Feud to complain about them taking up the TV Schedule. So he forces the Teen Titans to take on the Scooby Gang on Family Feud. The losers gets cancelled. Which honestly doesn’t seem too bad for the Scooby Gang, they have their series ended a bunch of time.

Let’s point out some of the fun things first: I do like how Robin doesn’t trust a guy who wears an ascot and Fred so worried about him taking it off. Cyborg saying he loves Scooby Doo and Scooby accepting it. And how the answers the Scooby Doo gang gives are trying to be friendly but Control Freak basically says the mean way.

Which leads to the big problem: the entire episode is basically about bad mouthing the Teen Titans Go show with some of the weakest Scooby Doo references I’ve seen. You know why I wasn’t bothered with that joke in TTG Vs TT? It wasn’t the entire focus of the crossover. It showed how the two sides interacts with each other and shows the best of both (minus the Robins). This, basically just badmouthing with lip service to Scooby.

Even with Family Feud in mind, we get a rush job on that side of the story. We don’t get to see any FF host, just control freak. So none of the fun of the Host interacting with the contestants. Imagine Steve Harvey hosting this. They only get one strike, likely to speed up the thing, and no Fast Money. Fast Money is where some of the best reactions comes from. So instead of telling you how it ends, here’s two more:

Overall, this is definitely not the best of Teen Titans. You’re better off watching random Family Feud clips than this episode.

[royalbluehues]

The Opening Act

A/N: STORY TIME. 

Last Friday I was on doing my regular routine on the You of Tube and I watched a play through for a game called Detroit: Becoming Human. And I was hookeeddd. I’m by no means a gamer gorl, nor do I have a PlayStation to play the games, so instead I’ve just been watching other people play. Also, I fell in love with the one of the protagonists named Connor within like 2 seconds of the game starting. 

I was literally thinking, “Man, if there was a person that actually looked like that in real life, and had that voice, I’d climb him like a tree.” Well, lo and behold the man himself, Bryan Dechart. I died.

So, like usual whenever I fall in love with a fictional character, I browse through fics, and it was there that I discovered @the-darklings headcanons for ruthless!connor, and I just can’t get enough. (I highly recommend you go read her stories. They’re amazing.)

Point is, I hopped on the bandwagon. So here’s my first crappy attempt at writing Connor, but I had fun while doing it.

Feedback would be greatly appreciated! (Tbh, I feel that I wrote Connor a bit too stuck up)

Alright. I’m done now. 

Title: The Opening Act

Author: royalbluehues

Warnings: Violence

Pairings: ruthless!Connor x Reader

“Agent,” the voice called out to you, tone cautious and mixed with annoyance, “this is completely unnecessary.”

Leaning against the wall, you peered over the dark corner, squinting to see any movement in the corners of the room. “I completely agree. But I thought by now you would have noticed I have a streak for theatrics.”

A few bullets aimed for you, and Connor estimated that had you stood there for .017 seconds longer, your brains would have decorated the floor by now.

But luckily for you, you moved back just in time, smiling cheekily at your partner beside you whose jaw was clenched and whose narrowed eyes peered coldly at you. “This is not part of the plan. We are wasting time, agent.” The synthetic skin of his hand stretched as he clenched the handle of his gun, his index finger hovering taut on the trigger. “Stop stalling and shoot,” he ordered, “or I’ll do it myself.”

You huffed, “Don’t be so angry, Connor. It’s all in the details.” The cool room left gooseflesh on your bare arms, and the heels you were wearing weren’t necessarily the most comfortable either. A bad mix of discomfort and lack of security on your entire person.

His steady blue LED turned two times, “Your ‘details’,” he quickly retorted “are going to get you killed.”

You turned your nose up the sentence, lips puckering into dissatisfaction. “I believe that that sentence should contain a ‘we’ in there somewhere. I rather think both of us dying together is somewhat romantic, don’t you?”

The android eyes widened a fraction, his eyebrows furrowing together as his mouth opened, unable to comprehend what you just meant, his now yellow LED light turning three times on his right profile.

You tilted your head, stretching it until you heard satisfying ‘pop’. “It’s like making a grand entrance but with more style.”

“I know you don’t feel emotions,” you continued, “but-,” you leaned back on the wall, sliding down smoothly as your gown rustled with your movements, “-the feel of adrenaline,” you accentuated the word as you looked up at him through your lashes, “is practically my drug.”

Connor’s lips pressed tightly in disapproval, “All you’re doing is being a distraction to the task at hand.” He had switched his normal uniform for a tuxedo (much to your delight). But it was still styled similarly, the top lapel lined with the electric cobalt blue just by his neck, while the lapels that jutted out more were left untouched. His starched and ironed shirt fit him so well, and when he went to fix and tug at the bowtie periodically so, your heart skipped a little.  

“When we return to headquarters I will have to file a report on you.”

Rolling your eyes at his threat, you situated yourself on your belly, turning to lean on your right shoulder as your hair cascaded in waves on the floor. Outstretched arm, you cupped your firearm with both hands, squinting at the black blob in the dark, and then, without a second to lose, you pulled the trigger.

But the blast was too loud, and Connor’s annoyance heightened, setting his programming into a frenzy, alerts and warnings layering one on top of another in his vision: You hadn’t used a silencer.

Baring his teeth, he stepped over you, easily taking down the two bodies that came hurling through the door, ducking when a bullet aimed at his head and imbedded itself into the wall behind him.

Seeing him like this was such a treat to you- the normally calm and collected presence that the being in front of you carried himself with had diminished with a single action you made.

Of course you made the decision to go without the cover of the silencer. As you had mentioned, it was the theatrics. You would easily argue that it made the job so much more fun.

Why try and hunt for them when they can easily come to you? If anything, you had done both him and yourself a favor. Opting to come through the window rather than the entrance not only served as a way to be discreet, but also allowed you to take out the ones that were staking above- terminating the obstruction before they had the chance to terminate you.

The assailants that had begun to circle around Connor hadn’t seen you yet, and with the lack of tactical gear, it only served you easy approach to aim without blinking.

They fell lifeless, guns clattering to the floor and echoing in the vacant room. You moved to stand, careful not to slip as you gained stability in your heels. You threw back a lock of hair that fell over your face, observing Connor as he pitilessly punched the man he pinned beneath him three times over, not a single emotion speckling his eyes, angled jaw clenched as he connected his fist with the fragile human jawbone.

You smoothed over the your green silk dress for any wrinkles, waiting patiently until the lithe body stood. What you didn’t expect was for him to push you into the wall, his LED light blood red as his eyes turned to slits, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?”

You heart raced as you looked up at him with your mouth open, eyes blinking quickly. His right fist was balled, leaning his weight on his bloodied knuckles while his left hand splayed open on the wall, trapping you in.

You collected yourself, raising your chin to demonstrate that he didn’t scare you, although that was a major lie. And he knew it too.

Connor would find a way to shoot you from outside a windowless and doorless brick building.

“My job,” you snapped back, “Now get off me.”

If CyberLife was playing God, then Connor was their Adam. But in playing God, one must be acquainted with the devil.  

This is where Connor played both roles. Not to mention he did it so well.

When he was Adam, you would answer his innocent questions, sometimes finding him struggling to respond to how he should act, giving him a few pointers here and there to give him a push into embracing human qualities. When he played the fiend, he sought and pin-pointed out the weakest flaws one could attribute, playing them like a violinist would with its instrument.

By CyberLife creating these beings, Connor being a living, tangible example, showed how far humanity had slipped past evolution’s grasp. And if he was Adam and the serpent combined, then you would blindly and voluntarily follow along, gladly taking the role of the fool who would eat the forbidden fruit he would offer.

All in all, it was amazing to see how realistic CyberLife was with their inventions. You could practically see the pores along his cheeks and nose- they had even gone so far as to take it a step further to add the faint sallow look under his eyes, adding color to make it appear that he hadn’t been sleeping correctly. It was maddening, how perfect the details were, that you had to continually remind yourself that he wasn’t like you, that he was, as he would remind you, a machine.

When he didn’t budge, you pushed and slipped past him, anger stirring down deep in you. The two of you didn’t converse for a while thereafter, no doubt much to his relief.

You hopped over the bodies by the doorway, taking their pistols with you. You handed one to Connor without looking, then lifted your long skirt to hide yours. You felt Connor’s eyes watch you, but you ignored him as much as you could.

As the two of you walked, Connor broke the silence. “You read the files I presume?”

You scoffed, “Under what pretense does an espionage agent not read their objectives?” Your voice was snappy, bitter, even. “Believe it or not, Connor, some humans can actually do a job just as well as you can.”

“Seeing that you enjoy your little theatrics, I could only assume you put more thought into your stage numbers than the actual mission.”

“I only do that on Thursdays,” was your quip, turning to peek at him at your right. You honestly didn’t understand why you continued checking to see if a flash of something would reach his eyes, seeing as every comment you made would be passed with a look of indifference and unrelenting boredom from him.

The inorganic muscles in his facial structure moved as he flexed his jaw. “Your attempt at humor astounds me. Stick to your day job.”

“At least I can be humorous, or at least find humor in my day to day life. Being you must be exhausting,” you were approaching the end of the floor, the back wall fading off into an unseen corridor to the left, “I mean, no emotion? Not even a smile?”

“No, agent, not even a smile.” His voice was still so smooth, and in hindsight you should have known that it was just him dropping a hint that he would be waging war on you with his brutal lexicon. “I survive because I don’t feel a single thing,” his voice raised in a friendly manner, “not even pain. Don’t feel so proud because of your comebacks, agent. You’re the embodiment of weakness and pity itself.”

The comment felt like a slap across the face, the echoing of your heels having stopped as you slowly turned to meet him. He still stood over you even with heels on, his eyes bored and his eyebrows raised slightly, daring for you to retort back.

Your skin flushed, your eyes stormy as you gripped your firearm. You opened your mouth to say something smart, hoping that your words would slice at him as his did you (a stupid and ineffective wish), but Connor’s arm pushed you to the side forcefully before you had the chance to get your words past your tongue, your head hitting against the marble wall hard.

You instantly dropped your gun, squeezing your eyes shut as colors danced transparently on top of the dark curtain of your closed lids. “Motherf-”

A gunshot made you jump, opening your eyes wide to find Connor pulling the trigger fluidly thrice more, and seeing men in suits fall face forward. You felt dizzy.

“Let’s go, agent.”

You shook your head, biting on your tongue to stop the bile rising in your throat. “Just give me a second, I hit my head really hard.”

Perhaps his programming was sending him binary code to display generosity, because the abrasive android gave you at least two minutes to collect yourself, but you were still bent forward, fingers winding in your hair to stop the jackhammer inside your head.

“If you can’t continue, I will have no other option but to go on without you.”

His words left you in a sort of shocked state, “Excuse me?”

“You’re slowing me down. By the now the mission has decreased to a sixty three success percentile rate. Statistically speaking, I would be better off without you.” His pale fingers held the gun like it belonged there, a deadly reminder to just how quickly he would turn on you given the chance.

“Then why haven’t you gone yet?” You were testing the waters, curious to hear what his response would be.

He didn’t say anything.

Would he leave you before the night ended? “When you work with a partner on a mission, Connor, they’re your priority, too.” You looked up at him in disbelief, voice shakey, “You understand that, right?”

“I have a mission to complete. And I’m tired of babysitting you because you cannot seem to take care of yourself.” He didn’t even meet eyes with you when he said it, instead changing the magazine and inserting a new one, tossing the old one on the floor.

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, “I’m sorry, but weren’t you the one that literally just slammed me into the wall? Twice?”

You bent to pick up your discarded weapon, breathing in a sharp breath from the sudden pain from the back of your head. But you were determined not to let it show in front of Connor. You would finish this job, and you would make sure you would do it better than him.

If it was even possible, your mind told you.

“I’ll take it into consideration next time someone is shooting at you.” He replied breezily, his tone even dipping into faux attentiveness.

You wanted to shoot him. To punch that perfectly crafted face, just like he did to the guard in the room you had just left from.

“You’re a complete asshole.” You hissed at him, shoving past him and making sure you shouldered him as you went by. Not that he would feel it.

With flared nostrils, you continued on, turning around the corner, the building opening up into a more lighted and buzzing center of action. Sepia colors danced on the walls before you, warm, yellow light beckoning you forward rather invitingly to step away from the dark.

Just twenty steps further the grand marble stairway led down to the gala, where high officials mingled about topics ranging from work and their country clubs and retirement incomes. The first guard that was closest to you, brought in to watch over the guests, whipped around when he heard your heels.

His hands moved to grab at the gun which was snugly stored in his holster. But you were quicker. You grabbed at him, slamming him with rage against the wall, your right hand pulling his hand back until you heard a disgusting crack. He moaned loudly in pain, quieting him as you punched his jugular, The guard was left windless, attempting to take in wheezy breaths, his blue eyes looking up at you, pleading mercy as you raised the butt of your gun to hit him hard against his temple.

You were seeing red, dripping red.

How dare Connor think he was above you? Talk to you like that?

You tore away the wire that connected along his ear and ran down the back of his neck, throwing it on the ground and stomping on it for good measure. It cracked under your weight, bits of black plastic flying in many directions. Connor had moved stealthily ahead of you, dragging the second guard into the shadows and doing God only knew what to him.

Your hands were shaking as you waited calmly once again, depositing your pistol into the deep pocket of your dress. (You were over the moon when you found out you had them.)

You didn’t turn to look at him, just quietly waiting with your bent arm outstretched for him to take it. When he didn’t do so, you turn to find him looking at you with rather confused stoicism. “I presume you read the files, Connor?” You mocked, voice dipping into venom, “If you had then you would know we need to act,” your nose twitched in unhappiness, gainsaying the tiny excitement in your heart, “like some couple.”

You turned ahead, looking straight, feeling the set of artificial eyes drill into the side of your head. “Although I don’t know what person would want a companion so disinterested with nothing but himself and his job.”

“Well it’s a wonderful thing that this is all but a falsely constructed idea.” His voice was a wonderful contradiction of smooth and raspy, and it was reassuring- just the way you preferred it to be. But it bothered you to an alarming degree that he was using reassurance to reject something you wanted.

Perhaps that was why he had angered you so much? The bite of his words burning you to degrees and moving the tide of hurt within you.

Don’t be ridiculous, you chided yourself, humans don’t fall for androids.

But you already have, a voice whispered to you. You snorted at it, not too embarrassed because it was a perfect response to Connor’s response.

He still hadn’t taken your arm. “Well?” You icily snapped.

You were still feeling incredibly light headed, the spaces in the edges of your eyes blurring and bending.

He was rather beautiful to look at, despite him being a bit fizzy. He pertained the look of quiet, naive innocence- greatly fooling anyone who thought of such and attempted to use it against him. The look of surprise would wash over his victim’s faces as he exterminated them, his brown eyes encompassing only that unaltered blasé sheen.

Connor’s hand shot out to grasp your chin, and his brown eyes scanned your features as he let you go with a small push. “Dilated pupils, nausea, sensitivity to light.” Grimacing, you rubbed where his vice-like fingers had grabbed you roughly. “You have the beginnings of a concussion.”

“Yeah, well whose fault is that?” You cholerically replied, lip upturning in anger. He offered you his arm this time, and you stared at it.

“I don’t have all evening, agent. The target could be gone by now.”

You looked up at him, raising an eyebrow as he probably did scans on the few people that were visible from this vantage point. Taking his arm, you relaxed your face, blinking away the blurriness as he pulled you just only slightly closer.

The two of you, looking like you belonged with one another, sauntered forward, moving around the splayed out body on the floor, more pieces of plastic breaking as Connor stepped on his with his heel.

“I wonder,” you said softly, “if you’re going to be able to accomplish this mission tonight.”

Connor didn’t like this, your intertwined arm feeling the way he stiffened. “I always succeed.”

It was a simple declaration, a proclamation, and a warning to you.

You tossed your head back and laughed, relishing in something he would never be able to do. “But you’re just a machine,” you snidely pointed out, “just like you always tell me. Let’s see if you can act human and portray the very thing you think is weak.”

You turned just to see what he would think of your words. But, as you expected, he stared off, his brown eyes unfazed by your words. But the shallow indentation of his LED light spoke volumes of the anger buried deep in his programming, boiling and bubbling as it begged to erupt, represented by the red light.

The two of you walked down the extravagant stairs with such an air of sophistication: you clutching the glossy golden railing with a manicured hand, while Connor placed one perfectly dark polished dress shoe in front of the other, the men and women conversing below the two of you having no clue that both chaos and madness were about to conduct their opening act together.

Masterlist

Next Part

[lorazx]

Pokemon Legends: Arceus is a Brand New Era (if they can keep it up)

(read this article on my medium!)

I, like many people, have been a fan of the Pokemon franchise since I was a kid. It was an all-consuming presence ever since I saw an episode on TV at age 5. I’ve played the games, collected cards, even spent a few years trying to “Get Good” at competitive VGC. Needless to say, I was and am very invested into the tiny yellow mouse franchise.

So when Nintendo and Game Freak held a Pokemon Direct to announce the newest entries in the franchise I was keeping a close eye on it. I genuinely liked Sword and Shield despite it’s numerous shortcomings, and was going into this with an optimistic outlook for whatever they were going to announce. After Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl, remake of 2007’s originals that are maybe a little too close to the originals, Game Freak revealed… an open world game? That doesn’t have two versions? Is seemingly set in the past? And most importantly, completely upends the way Pokemon played.

I was split. On one hand, Pokemon had gotten repetitive, a stream of games that were, at worst, “okay” and at best “pretty good” and no side games that actually experimented with what a Pokemon game could be, so a new style of game would be great! But I was also beginning to think that maybe Game Freak, despite being attached to the franchise since its inception, shouldn’t make Pokemon games anymore. Maybe the yearly development cycle had finally caught up to them and they couldn’t produce games with the same quality anymore or the team that was working on it just wasn’t able to evolve with the changing landscape of games in its genre. But I was also willing to wait, to give it a chance and see what they were doing. Maybe the extra three months would help?

The more I saw of it the less I understood. It was all so big and ambitious and I wasn’t sure that they could pull it off given their record for “innovations” within the series. A whole game based on the wild areas? The worst part of Sword and Shield? I couldn’t fathom it. I sat through weeks of Twitter Discourse about every new piece of information; the gameplay, the name, the graphics, and I still couldn’t stop feeling concerned for the game every time we heard news about it.

But then the game came out and it was apparently good! It was hard! And interesting! The word “fresh” is being used! I was torn but I also couldn’t stay away, I needed to know if Game Freak could finally find a fresh angle for the long running series.

They... sort of did? Pokemon Legends: Arceus is good, not great, but it is something. Is the game rough around the edges? Yep! Combat is interesting, but it needed more depth, given that the big noble fights amount to running and dodging (fun!) and throwing stuff (less fun) and the action/turn based combat feeling like the old combat, but with higher emphasis on speed and less on placement or strategy. The story is maybe one of the best in the series, but that’s only in context of other Pokemon games (and even then it doesn’t hold a candle to Black and White). The open world is still perhaps it’s weakest aspect, devoid of incentive for exploration other than “Here’s Goomy!”, which is nice, but it doesn’t feel like its enough for a player to want to explore unless they were either going towards 100% Pokedex completion or just really wanted a certain Pokemon. It is also ugly, mostly in the overworld, which lacks the strong and unique aesthetic of the rest of the Pokemon series and in an semi-open world game is obviously not great.

But it’s something. Which for a multi-million dollar company is a small victory, perhaps too small for some people to count but honestly at this point any advancements to this franchise is a win.

There’s been some confusion of whether or not this is a main series title, and ultimately it doesn’t matter. If it isn’t then Game Freak should take as much as possible and build on it for an actual main series game, and this also applies if it is a main series game since if they go back to what they were doing after this then Game Freak has done what they’ve always done, take one step forward then several steps back.

(Update: Game Freak and Nintendo have since revealed Pokemon Scarlet and Violet which continues on the gameplay from Arceus.)

If this all sounds like a person giving a mediocre game a lot of passes, let’s be honest it is, but for a franchise so well-protected, so seemingly uncomfortable with change to so willingly push themselves forward like this should be, no matter how dumb it may seem, something to commend. And maybe when they release the next duo of mainline Pokemon they go back to basics, wasting all the goodwill they’ve built up, we can do this song and dance all over again.

[echoedfates-archive]

🔥

Fire Emblem Awakening is actually an excellent game and not the weakest in the series up until that point. Fight me.

Now obviously I have some bias with it being my entry point, but whilst it is obviously different to previous entries, that happens every time the series switches consoles. Does Awakening have its flaws? Of course. All of the games do. Does it fail to achieve what it set out to do? No. Not at all. Actually, it might be one of the best at completing its aims.

I am not saying Awakening is the best game in the series. An easy way to explain what I mean is this: Fates looked amazing pre-release, right? And most of the rp community has at least one Fates muse, so we obviously enjoyed something. But almost all of us can agree that it was a game with a tonne of potential, which it failed to live up to. In terms of ambitions, perhaps IS only wanted to make money, which they very much succeeded at. But I believe there was some ambition there for the story, and it fell flat, hence why so many of us flesh out the concepts and go canon divergent. Good base, but failed to live up to hype.

Awakening, however? The story was never meant to be so complicated and grand. Rather, the team honestly thought this was going to be the last game in the series, and turned it into a celebration of all that came before.

What do I mean? First of all, they used the original protagonist, Marth’s world for the game’s setting, yet kept his story in tact by setting it far in the future. Yet he still turns up in the spiritual sense, through Lucina. It may not be him, but this was a nod to the series’ origins, that veterans would appreciate. And of course, we have Falchion as the main’s lord weapon, and his daughter’s too. We also have the presence of a grown up Tiki, which I’m sure many were wondering what happened to her post FE3/12. They easily could have chosen not to acknowledge her, just as Xane is absent, but she was likely the most popular of the manakete.

Okay, so this stuff may seem obvious for a game set in Archanea, but actually, there’s influence from other games unrelated to Marth’s tale as well. Whilst admittedly still the same world, there is a very obvious aspect taken from Genealogy of the Holy War: babies. I somehow doubt that the almost final game suddenly having a second gen, which hasn’t been seen in a decade and a half, is a coincidence. That concept was unique to FE4 (as 6/7 does not contain an inheritance system between files) and thus was brought into Awakening’s story as a reference. Same with S-supports, though we get actual conversations this time.

The avatar did not originate in Awakening, despite what many claim: Robin was a concept taken from FE12′s Kris, who is also customisable as a player insert. Yes, they aren’t as prevalent in the story as Robin, but it’s the same initial idea. Really, Robin’s presence made the game more accessible to newcomers as we became more involved in the world.

Bouncing off of that, the dev team clearly wanted the experience to be enjoyable for old and new. I’ve not even finished listing off the past game references yet, but as somebody who had never even heard of Fire Emblem prior to 13, I did not feel I was missing out on anything due to not having played previous games. Not only that, we had casual mode. Now I know some people don’t like this. Personally, even on my first, I did not use casual. If classic was something unique to the franchise, why not try it? I ended up loving the permadeath concept. But to compare, I have a friend who also started with Awakening, and she was too scared to try classic. She actually wasn’t a big fan of the gameplay, and entered the series thanks to the characters appealing to her. Without casual, she may never have joined this hell, and that’s true for many. Also, casual is a creation from FE12. Like the avatar. Yeah.

Whilst some complain that Awakening was too easy, they probably played on normal. Yes, we’re missing things like Fog of War (imagine chapter 13 with it i.e. the one where you recruit Henry) and the goal is always rout or defeat the boss, but lunatic provides a genuine challenge. When I did my no reset lunatic run, everyone died. Everyone. Chrom and Robin pretty much had to defeat Grima on their own. 

The maps are simple to read, and that’s a good thing. Yes yes praise FE4 but let’s face it those massive things are not user friendly. Yes, I have played it - I’ve just started the final chapter. I started the game over three years ago so I think that should tell you how much I struggled to get invested thanks to the gameplay. So yes Awakening being simple was a good way to convince newcomers to try the franchise before it gets killed forever, whilst lunatic is there for those who want it.

My last point before I get back to Awakening being a celebration is the support system. It has heavy flaws, but the sheer number of supports (plus DLC conversations!!!) gives more characterisation compared to units from previous games (I forgot who Lex was before I googled him like why can I use the valkyrie staff on this stranger), more akin to what we’re used to from regular rpgs.

OKAY SO MORE PAST GAMES REFERENCES:

Priam. Ike. Yeah he made the continuity weird but hey he’s a 9/10 references and we know how obsessive people get over Ike. Also, his Japanese name is Paris which apparently was Ike’s almost-name? Then there’s the Einherjars who take almost EVERY MAJOR CHARACTER from previous games. There are free ones, and DLC ones. The DLC ones even get to interact with the Awakening cast. Do I really need to explain my point here?

Valm. Alm. I had no clue about that connection until Echoes came out, and actually that’s really cute? They could have kept it as Valentia if they wanted to but instead they directly referenced the ending of Gaiden by having the continent named by the guy who united the people! Okay Celica is there too but both of her names are harder to turn into a location.

We’ve got the archetypes that appear in various games such as Yen’Fey as the Camus (or I’ve seen some mention Mustafa, which is also valid even if he is more minor), there’s Cordelia being a Catria. Frederick is an Oifey rather than a Jagen, and then there’s Stahl/Sully who DIRECTLY REFERENCE Cain and Abel. The list goes on

Owain’s attack names being previous game titles. The 2nd gens’ birthdays being release dates. Anna being recruitable for once!!! Minerva the wyvern being named after Archanea’s Minerva.

The list really does go on. Basically: Awakening is a fantastic ‘final’ game that is chock full of references and gameplay mechanics from previous titles whilst also containing new features (such as pair up). At the same time, it is incredibly welcoming towards newcomers and thus absolutely completes its goal of being a new fan friendly celebration of a two decade old series. It may not be everybody’s favourite, but for the game is supposed to be, it is a GOOD game.

[jackkel-dragon]

* To be continued: Which thing you thing tore the fandom apart more?: the plot, the characters or the ending? A last comment about the fandom's state: most part of the Blood Drive controversy seems to have died down, but there is a considerablemente number of people Who have rennounced of the series for good. Honestly, after reading your experience, i feel sad not only for those that suffered toxicity (obviously incluyes cases like yours), but also about dead patient. Think I'm going to give it

I’m honestly not sure exactly what upset people the most about Blood Drive, because I started distancing myself from those discussions when things started getting bad. I feel like, from what I saw, the characters were the least polarizing. The people who were vocal about hating certain characters tended to give arguments that ignored what those characters’ roles were. (Like people who missed the point that Kuon’s “perfection” was portrayed as a bad thing that made her alienate her sister and drive herself nearly to death over impossible, perfectionist goals.)

From the little I saw, I feel like the ending was the next most upsetting thing. We’re starting to get into spoilers, so this is going behind a read more.

I feel like one of the “hate the ending” camps seems to not understand the tone of the series. Aside from the A rank ending of the PC-98 game, the Corpse Party series is bleak and punishes anyone who tries to find the bright side of a situation. These players bought into the lies of Aiko, Misuto, and the marketing that there was a way to bring back the deceased from the previous games and that the series would have a happy ending. But like any hope spot in the series, that was only even suggested to make the final revelations more painful. That plot point wasn’t a promise; it was a trap for Ayumi and the player. Aiko and Misuto even admit that they lied to try to use Ayumi for their goals. So it’s no surprise that this was revealed to be impossible in-setting.

Another one of the camps seems to misunderstand how the ending was presented, and partially ties into the previous one. It’s made very clear during the ending that there is no happily ever after: the Nirvana will continue to be a threat no matter what. I’ve had people ask me why Ayumi didn’t just use time travel like Sachiko did, but that ignores two things: Sachiko was the most powerful known sorcerer in the series while Ayumi was the weakest, and Sachiko (without being the host of the Nirvana) could only loop 24 hours before dissolving. The actual options Ayumi was given, to my memory, were: 1) guard the Nirvana, but it would continue to work as it did since Sachiko’s time and the souls within would suffer or 2) consume the Nirvana as Sachiko once did and free the souls within, but become a non-person in history. Ayumi, always concerned about how things “should” be, didn’t think it was right to let people suffer in the Nirvana if she could do something about it. Thus the ending.

I’m sure there are other negative opinions on the ending, particularly ones that critique what it is instead of based on misunderstandings, but I haven’t seen them myself so I’m not sure I can comment on them.

For the most part, I think it was the theme and plot that really turned people off. As I’ve said before, Blood Drive is a culmination of all the other previous products, with their witch hunts and birthday parties and secret societies. So it has a much larger scope than any previous game, which may have turned off people who enjoyed the more personal scope of the previous three games. There were obviously hints of a larger picture before, but not to world-threatening extents. And Book of Shadows and 2U tended to narrow down the scope more often than expand it, so suddenly having a big picture was a huge shift in tone. Then you add to this a bunch of characters we’re expected to know, but are new to the games themselves, while fan favorites are no longer relevant. That the first half of the plot’s premise is based on a lie that hurts the player as much as it hurts Ayumi (as mentioned above) is just more to add to the sense of betrayal. This betrayal may well have been intentional, but it’s a risky move to psychologically punish the player when you have a franchise to sell.

(As a side note about plot and characters, I recently saw a post complaining about how Misuto dies “halfway through” the game. This confuses me, since he dies at the end of Chapter 08, which is the ninth chapter out of eleven, if you count Chapter 00 as a chapter.)

I’m not too surprised that the main controversy has died down, since it’s been years now and many of those who were the most upset are simply gone. That said, I’m still bummed out about how the community has dwindled to what it is now. I didn’t expect Corpse Party to be a big fandom forever, since I always knew the series would end eventually and it’s a niche franchise to begin with. But I was hoping that the community would at least continue to interact and create together. Especially since Corpse Party has such a large number of finished fangames compared to the main series entries and relative popularity, I thought the series could live on for a while through fanworks. But then a lot of those people, the creative people, ended up dropping out of the community during the conflict and things sort of dried up.

Not sure what you were going to say about Dead Patient, since your second message hasn’t shown up for me yet, but I’m personally not optimistic it would be able to revive the fandom in the West. For one, the game won’t get an official localization until it’s finished, and Chapter 2 has been in development for at least 5 years. The second, bigger thing is that it’s very much a “post-Blood Drive” game that builds off from elements of Blood Drive. (DPN even fixed a visual discontinuity between DP and BD and added a Satoshi extra chapter.) So people who refuse to acknowledge Blood Drive (which some people who remain Corpse Party fans have stated they are) would not be able to enjoy the game. It also has elements that I’ve heard described as “not fitting” in a Corpse Party game. (As an example, someone once said that about zombies in the CPD2 game “Fatal Operation”. Dead Patient also has zombies, and in a more prominent role.)

Anyway, hope that helps. I’ll keep an eye out for the second message.

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 8/13/21 - CODA, FREE GUY, DON’T BREATHE 2, RESPECT, THE LOST LEONARDO, WHAT IF, and More!

Well, that was kind of a disappointing last weekend as James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad pretty much tanked at the box office, making less than Birds of Prey did back in February 2020 with all sorts of backseat analysis explaining why it didn’t do well as anyone, other than a scant, few thought. I mean, I’m still kind of stunned, even though COVID and the Delta variant seem to be losing steam as far as being news. It certainly didn’t help that HBO Max decided to release the movie concurrently on HBO Max on Thursday at 7pm.

The nice thing about this week is that we have three new movies, none of which are on streaming or On Demand at the exact same time, so if you want to see any of them, you’ll have to put on your N96 masks and get yourself to theaters. Two of the three movies are originals, while the third is a sequel to quite an original horror movie from about five years back. All of them are pretty good, actually. We’ll get to them soon...

But first, let’s start with this week’s “The Chosen One” and it’s gotta be Siân Heder’s CODA i.e. “Child of Deaf Adults,” which will play in select theaters and on Apple TV+ starting Friday. If you hadn’t heard, it was the belle of the ball at this year’s Sundance Film Festival, winning the Jury Prize and Audience Award alike. Heder previously directed Tallulah and is the showrunner on Apple’s Little America, but this really is a very special film that I’ve enjoyed on repeat viewings now.

It stars Emilia Jones as Ruby Rossi, the sole hearing person in her family of Gloucester fishermen, who are out every day on the sea making the latest catch in their nets. Ruby has other aspirations, and when she joins the school choir, the teacher, Mr. Villalobos (Eugene Derbez) sees talent in Ruby that he thinks might get her into the Berklee College of Music. Ruby has to weigh that with her family’s need to have her as an interpreter while dealing with the other fishermen of the town.

I didn’t know what to expect when I saw this at Sundance back in January, and it still surprised me when I rewatched it again, because it’s a movie that involves a lot of elements that shouldn’t necessarily work, between the fishing and the singing and all the ASL between the amazing ingenue, Ms. Jones, and the deaf actors playing her family, including the one and only Oscar-winning Marlee Matlin. If not for these disparate elements, Coda might be a fairly standard indie family drama, but Heder finds just the right balance of showing how these disparities in Ruby’s life make it hard for her to pursue her dreams.

Ferdia Walsh-Peelo from Sing Street plays the classmate who Ruby is set up with to perform a duet at their high school recital, and of course, he also becomes an unwitting love interest. Unfortunately that’s the aspect of the film that’s the weakest, because Jones’ scenes with Matlin and the other actors, including Derbez, as well as Troy Kotsur and Daniel Durant, as Ruby’s father and brother, are just so powerful and moving even if they’re all in ASL with no dialogue or even incidental score.

Coda is Heder’s second film after Talllulah, a movie starring Elliot Page that never really connected with me, but Coda is such a strong and exceedingly crowd-pleasing film that I have to imagine that this would connect with everybody. I’m not sure if Apple’s gonna be able to get this movie all the way to Oscar night, but I do like its chances for Adapted (?) Screenplay, and maybe Matlin and Kotsur Supporting? I don’t know, because it’s so early and hard to tell, but hopefully the decision to wait so long after the virtual Sundance won’t hurt this movie as it hurt other Sundance award-winning films. Coda is just a joy that I’m sure will be many people’s favorite movie.

You can read my interview with Ms. Heder over at Below the Line.

Incidentally, in last week’s column, I talked about the 20th New York Asian Film Festival, but I didn’t realize that it was only running at Film at Lincoln Center for a week before going down to the SVA Theater on 23rd Street, and you can check out the schedule of movies playing there at the official site. And of course, there’s still the Virtual Festival that’s running through August 22. Also, Fantasia is still going on in Montreal, and I still haven’t had time to watch very much. What can I say? I suck.

Let’s get to some wide releases, shall we?

First up and probably the most likely to win the weekend is Ryan Reynolds’ new action-comedy, FREE GUY (20th Century Studios), directed by Shawn Levy and co-starring Jodie Comer from Killing Eve. The high-concept comedy has Reynolds playing Guy, a bank teller, who actually is a non-player character in a video game called “Free City” that’s kind of a cross between Grand Theft Auto and Fortnite. When he meets Comer’s character in the game, he falls mady in love and decides to do whatever it takes to get on her level. (Get it?) In doing so, Guy ends up becoming a hero for Free City, as well as a viral sensation across the globe as gamers thrill to Guy’s adventures.

Free Guy is Ryan Reynolds’ first live-action starring role theatrical release since…. Oh…. the action-comedy sequel The Hitman’s Bodyguard’s Wife a little under two months ago. Considering that barely made half of what its predecessor did, and that’s with Reynolds sharing the screen with Samuel L. Jackson and Salma Hayek, one wonders if his draw as an A-lister can be maintained during a pandemic. Before that, you’d have to go all the way back to 2018’s Deadpool 2 for a fully live Reynolds movie, because he wasn’t seen as himself for most of his role in and as Detective Pikachu. Of course, Reynolds’ unmistakable voice was back in DreamWorks Animation’s The Croods: A New Age, the sequel to the 2013 blockbuster that made the ballsy move to be one of the first movies to open during the pandemic. It grossed $58.6 million in theaters, which was slightly more than Christopher Nolan’s Tenet and even more than the Warner Bros. sequel, Wonder Woman 1984.

This is also a big movie for Jodie Comer, who won an Emmy and was nominated for two Golden Globes for Killing Eve, but hasn’t really been in too many movies, other than playing Rey’s Mum in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. Later this year, she’ll star in Ridley Scott’s The Last Duel and may possibly be back in the awards game again, we’ll see. The movie also stars Lil Rel Howery, who seems to be everywhere and in everything these days, as well as Taika Waititi who is super-hot right now due to 2019’s Jojo Rabbit, and his various television projects, as well as having a small role in James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad last week.

In some ways, Free Guy is gonna be a test for a lot of things, the first one being whether Reynolds is a big enough draw when not playing Deadpool to get people into theaters, just as people are starting to get skittish again about going into movie theaters. More importantly, it will show whether not having a movie on streaming or VOD means that people who want to see it will put aside their fears and return to theaters… like they did with F9 and Black Widow and Godzilla vs. Kong. Is an original non-franchise movie like Free Guy enough to get people interested in getting their butts off the couch and into a far more comfortable movie theater seat? (I’m being facetious, if you didn’t guess.)

After The Suicide Squad last week, I’m really not sure whether I can trust my own instincts, but I also don’t want to lower my prediction to something ridiculous out of fear that the pandemic really is destroying any chance of the box office fully recovering. One thing working in Free Guy’s favor, besides its PG-13 rating is that it’s not available on streaming and VOD. Anyone who has been intrigued by the film’s great reviews will HAVE to go out to a movie theater to see it or else, they’ll have to wait 45 days.

Maybe if this opened last month, I could see it open in the $30 million to $40 million range, but with things being the way they are, I’d probably go with high $20 million, so close to $30 million but not quite.

You can read my review over at Below the Line, and I’ll have an interview with the film’s Production Designer, Ethan Tobman, fairly soon.

Also opening Friday is the horror sequel DON’T BREATHE 2 (Sony/Screen Gems), starring Stephen Lang as the blind former Navy Seal who terrorized a bunch of kids who broke into his house in 2016’s Don’t Breathe.

The original movie, which starred Jane Levy, reuniting with director Fede Alvarez after the two remade Evil Dead for producer Sam Raimi, opened in late August, on the fourth weekend of the original Suicide Squad, in fact, and it knocked the movie out of the #1 spot. Its $26 million opening in 3,000 theaters was impressive for the time, partially because late August has never been great. It stayed #1 for a second weekend, over Labor Day, and it ended up grossing $89.2 million in North America, which is great for an R-rated horror film.

Levy isn’t around for the sequel and Alvarez has moved into a co-writer/producer role for his creative partner, Rodo Sagayes, to take over the directing reins, but honestly, I’m not sure how many people will know or care, because Lang’s character and the film’s violence and chills are it’s real selling point. Like many horror movies, there isn’t much in terms of star power other than Lang, but that has never really hindered the success of a horror movie in the past.

As with every movie I cover in this column, there’s the pandemic in the room and whether that might hold people back from going to theaters. I wish there was a way to calculate the effect that’s had on moviegoing, because it seems to affect movies differently. For instance, the recent The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It was able to open with $24.1 million just two months ago, although that was down from the $40 million of the previous two chapters. So that’s about a 40% drop-off in a similar five-year gap between movies. (Actually, it’s kind of strange that 2021 is replicating 2021 with three sequels to movies from five years earlier.) There’s no denying that the number of Covid cases are way up since June and movie theaters are still being painted as the “enemy” even though no significant cases have been traced back to the movies.

We also have to look at Sony’s last horror sequel, Escape Room: Tournament of Champions, which I quite enjoyed, but it ended up opening with about $10 million less than the original movie a few years back. We can probably expect Don’t Breathe 2 to have a similar pandemic drop-off even if it’s another movie that won’t be on streaming or VOD this weekend.

I think Don’t Breathe 2 should be good for around $15 million this weekend since it’s catering towards a young audience that’s a bit more devil-may-care about going out to theaters. It will also probably appeal more to older single guys than something like Free Guy, which seems different enough to pull in a different audience.

My review will be posted over at Below the Line later on Thursday, plus I have a bunch of interviews coming, including this one with Rodo Sayagues and Fede Alvarez.

Next up is RESPECT (MGM), the long-awaited Aretha Franklin biopic (for those that didn’t see Genius, like me, I guess), starring Oscar-winner Jennifer Hudson as the Queen of Soul. The movie directed by Liesl Tommmy was supposed to be released in January to take part in last year’s Oscars race, but I guess MGM wanted to make sure it got a proper theatrical release, which wasn’t possible since NYC and L.A. movie theaters didn’t reopen until March after the cut-off. But MGM had already decided to push the movie back to the summer in hopes of having more theaters able to play the movie, which is kind of true now?

It’s been a while since we’ve seen JHud in a high-profile theatrical release, and unfortunately, the last one was 2019’s Cats, a movie in which she probably was the best thing, although it still only grossed $27 million domestically, a flat-out bomb. Before that, she provided her voice for the animated blockbuster Sing in 2016, and then a bunch of smaller movies before that. She’s joined in the movie by the likes of Oscar winner Forest Whitaker, Marlon Wayans, Titus Burgess, Mary J. Blige, Marc Maron, and Audra MacDonald, quite an impressive array of talent that shows how many wanted to be involved with this project. Director Liesl Tommy is making her feature directorial debut after directing a ton of theater and TV shows like The Walking Dead and Jessica Jones.

Even so, it’s obviously that the ongoing popularity of Aretha Franklin, especially since her death in 2018, is going to go a long way into getting people into theaters, which includes a lot of older black women who really haven’t had much to get them out into theaters in recent months. Will this be enough?

Before Respect was delayed from its original January release, many thought that Hudson would receive another Oscar nomination for her performances. Having not seen the movie at the time of this writing, I can’t confirm or deny those chances. If that’s still the case, then releasing the movie towards the end of the summer (similar to The Help, successfully, and The Butler, not so much) is an odd decision rather than just holding the movie for festival season by holding until next month.

Either way, I think the love Aretha’s fans have for the Queen of Soul as well as Hudson’s fans, Respect should be good for between $8 and 10 million this weekend -- hard to pinpoint exactly without knowing how many theaters MGM is getting for it against the stronger summer movies.

Mini-Review: I wasn’t really sure what to expect from Respect, even after seeing the trailer a couple dozen times in front of other movies, but it’s a respectable biopic that cover 20 years in the life of the Queen of Soul from singing at a young age in her father’s church to returning to church for the gospel records as captured in the recently-released doc, Amazing Grace.

But first, we go back to 1952 where Aretha is a young girl (played by Skye Dakota Turner) is uncertain of her future as she’s being ordered about by her preacher father (Forrest Whitaker) and trying to find direction. The movie casually sets up the fact that young Aretha was sexually abused by a family friend, and maybe she got pregnant, too? It’s hard to tell and maybe a little odd since she would only have been 10 at the time, but it’s something that will be brought up (just as subtly) over the course of the film.

Jennifer Hudson takes over as Aretha as she turns 19 and goes to New York City to start recording, meets Marlon Wayans’ Ted White, makes him her manager and marries her, which basically has her going from one abusive man in her father to another one. It feels like the movie spends a long than normal time on the ‘60s, which is when Franklin’s career really took off with “Respect” and then a series of hits that took her all around the world. That whole time, she’s dealing with Ted’s abuses and jealousy while trying to write and record those hits, before her dark demons return and she starts drinking heavily.

As you might imagine, you go to see Respect to see how well Jennifer Hudson pulls off the Queen of Soul, and she’s an incredibly complex character that needs a nuanced performance, which Hudson tries to pull off by bringing different aspects of her life into different scenes.

There are some scenes that don’t work as well as others, and it feels like there’s a bit of time-crunching or futzing around so that at a certain point, her father seems to be de-aging, although I was just as impressed (possibly even moreso) with Forrest Whitaker, whose performance as Aretha’s father is more than just a full-on villain despite his violent treatment of his daughter. Wayans is also good and almost unrecognizable at first, and there are a few other nice performances in there as well, including Marc Maron as record label head Jerry Wexler.

But the performances Hudson gives as Franklin are goosebump-inducing, leading up to the recording of her record-selling gospel record as depicted in the aforementioned doc.

A fairly decent representation of Franklin’s little-known life leading up to her fame, Respect probably succeeds the most when Jennifer Hudson is performing as the Queen of Soul, but she’s also created a fairly moving portrait with strong dramatic moments that far outweigh any of the film’s issues. Rating: 8/10

With that in mind, this is how I see the weekend looking with two of the new movies bumping Suicide Squad down to third place where it will be facing off against Respect.

1. Free Guy (20th Century/Disney) - $28.5 million N/A

2. Don’t Breathe 2 (Sony/Screen Gems) - $15 million N/A

3. The Suicide Squad (Warner Bros.) - $10 million -62%

4. Respect (MGM) - $9.6 million N/A

5. Jungle Cruise (Walt Disney Pictures) - $8.7 million -55%

6. Old (Universal) - $2.5 million -36%

7. Black Widow (Marvel/Disney) - $2.4 million -39%

8. Stillwater (Focus) - $2 million -39%

9. Space Jam: A New Legacy (Warner Bros.) - $1.3 million -43%

10. The Green Knight (A24) - $1.1 million -56%

Donnie Yen stars in Bennie Chang’s RAGING FIRE (WELL GO USA), which premiered at the New York Asian Film Festival on Monday and at Fantasia in Montreal on Tuesday, and I’m not going to review this, because honestly, it’s such a cookie-cutter Hong Kong police action-thriller that I’m not sure I really have much to say about it, so I won’t.

On the other hand, I do have more to say about Andreas Koefoed’s documentary, THE LOST LEONARDO (Sony Pictures Classics), the Leonardo being Da Vinci, the master artist behind the Mona Lisa and many other works. Since I don’t really follow the world of art, I really didn’t know about the Salvator Mundi painting found about 10-12 years ago that was thought to be an original Da Vinci worth in the hundreds of millions, often dubbed “The Male Mona Lisa.” But it’s also a painting that was surrounded by controversy due to the 5-year restoring job that may have left very little of the original painting.

As the film began, I was groaning a little about sitting through another movie of art experts and historians talking about how important a find this is and why it’s either great or horrible, depending on who is being interviewed. Eventually, the film gets more interesting as it starts getting into the idea of selling it. After being sold to a wealthy Russian oligarch by an unscrupulous Swiss art dealer who made a nice profit on it, the painting ends up being auctioned by Christie’s, and the story just keeps getting more and more interesting as it goes along.

While I’m not one to go ga-ga over any painting by Da Vinci or otherwise, I do like a good mystery or suspense-thriller, so good on Koefoed for realizing about halfway through this movie that the talking heads will never be as interesting as actual footage. And that’s what happens here, too. I actually feel a little ignorant that I wasn’t aware this was going on as it was, maybe because I don’t really follow the art world in that respect. Maybe I just missed it, so it’s good that Sony Classics (who loves making movies about art) is giving this a fairly high-profile release following its premiere at the Tribeca Film Festival a few months back. In that sense, The Lost Leonardo is quite a gem.

Heinz Brinkman’s USEDOM: A CLEAR VIEW OF THE SEA (Big World Pictures) is a somewhat intriguing doc about the Baltic island of Usedom, the location of a number of imperial German health resorts, beaches and such, and how the Jews were kicked out by the Nazis before Usedom was split into a German and Polish half after WWII. I wish I could get into this more, but I just have a limited mental capacity for a lot of German talking heads.

Which brings us to Michael Tucker and Petra Epperlein’s THE MEANING OF HITLER (IFC Films), the new doc from the team behind Gunner Palace, which looks at the cultural fascination with Hitler and Nazism and the recent rise in white supremacy, antisemitism and the “weaponization of history itself.” I don’t know what that last part means, because I got so swamped this week that I didn’t get to watch this, and like another recent doc on the subject of Naziism and the Holocaust, I just couldn’t get into the right head space to hit play on this doc. Maybe I’ll watch it sometime down the road.

Similarly, I didn’t get around to watching Dutch filmmaker Jim Taihuttu’s THE EAST (Magnet Releasing), which I may like as a fan of Paul Verhoeven’s Dutch WWII films, and I probably should give this a look, but I just ran out of time this week. It’s about a young Dutch soldier who joins an elite unit led by a mysterious captain called “The Turk,” and it takes place in the Indonesian War of Independence after World War II.

As far as TV goes, Wednesday sees the debut of Marvel Studios’ WHAT IF...? on Disney+. I’ve seen the first three episodes, and I was a pretty big fan of the comics in the ‘70s (sadly, part of the giant collection that I sold a few years back), and I guess this is okay. The first episode is the one with Haley Atwell voicing “Captain Carter” i.e. Peggy Carter gets the Super Soldier Serum, which is one of the more obvious What Ifs that could possibly done, so that we can get another “women are as good as men, and they need to be heard” storyline that’s in 90% of the Marvel movies already. On the other hand, the first episode does include the voices of Sebastian Stan and others, so it’s quite a coup in that sense, but whoever wrote it, clearly doesn’t understand that people spoke differently in the ‘40s. I liked the 2nd episode, a mash-up of Black Panther and Guardians of the Galaxy, which is a fun idea that brings together a lot of great characters -- including Chadwick Boseman’s last voice performance -- but again, hearing the voices just isn’t the same when the writing isn’t as good as the movie. I feel like the animation for the show is okay, maybe not quite on par with some of the great Batman or Superman cartoons we’ve gotten over the years. On the other hand, the entire series features the great voice of Jeffrey Wright as The Watcher, acting kind of like the Rod Serling for the series, much like the Watcher does in the comics. I also dug the music by Emmy winner Laura Karpman (Lovecraft Country), and I’ll watch the rest of the series as it debuts, but I’m not sure it’s as much a rush to see each episode to avoid spoilers as with Loki or WandaVision.

Hitting Netflix this week is the limited series, BRAND NEW CHERRY FLAVOR (Netflix), starring Rosa Salazar, Eric Lange, and Catherine Keener. The tagline is: “Lisa Nova (Rosa Salazar) comes to LA dead set on directing her first movie. But when she trusts the wrong person and gets stabbed in the back, everything goes sideways and a dream project turns into a nightmare. This particular nightmare has zombies, hit men, supernatural kittens, and a mysterious tattoo artist who likes to put curses on people. And Lisa’s going to have to figure out some secrets from her own past in order to get out alive.”

Also, TITANS Season 3 debuts on HBO Max, but since I haven’t watched seasons 1 or 2 yet, it might be some time before I get to it.

Next week looks like it could be a bit of a dog with four or five new wide releases but nothing that really jumps out, plus I’ll be in Atlantic City all next weekend, so who knows how much I’ll be able to watch or write about?