#i'll try to find the pic i'm thinking of once i'm back from picking up my new desk chair

[theflyingfeeling]

Hi hello it’s me spamming your ask box (again) but can we talk about this because I think this is also a great example how much Olli has influenced Aleksi because that’s (probably literally) Olli’s shirt and for some reason also the makeup reminds me of him and Olli would also definitely pose like that!! 😤💖 thank you bye

ngl this is an excellent example 🤧 because I have this very specific picture of Olli in mind that reminds me of this one but I can't find it right now, the best I can do to prove your point is this:

like, is that not the exact same vibe or nah 😩 okay and now I want to do more comparative research on this akfhskjfskgjdjfj because they really do be copying each other like that because that's just how gay they are for each other 🫨

[missvelvetsstuff]

The Wrong One

Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Reader meets Steve while he is on the run and stands by him through everything. Until he sees Peggy Carter again.

10. The Aftermath

Warnings: swearing, angst, difficult childbirth

Starting the next morning there was a barrage of romantic gifts showing up on her doorstep multiple times a day. Flowers, jewelry, candy, books by her favorite authors, knick knacks that Steve thought she would like. Constant texts checking up on her, phone calls where he sang love songs to her voicemail.

Y/N was already exhausted from her pregnancy and Steve's attentions, even though they weren't in person, just made it worse.

On top of that, the incident at the gala was all over the internet and gossip news sites and shows. Everyone was talking about Captain America's sudden reappearance and the confrontation with his very pregnant ex girlfriend and best friend.

Y/N woke up to hundreds of tags and notifications of articles, pictures and social media posts speculating on the meaning of last night's events.

Pictures of Bucky leaving her house as the sun was coming up. Putting a large bouquet of roses and a teddy bear with a Captain America shield in the house and stoically moving through the paps without saying a word. Even some pics of him jogging away.

When she tried to go for her morning walk, she opened the front door to find a mess of reporters still on her front stoop, keeping her from leaving. She could hear the sounds of cameras and was blinded by the many flashes.

Too many voices throwing questions out at her:

'Can you tell us what happened at the gala? Why did Captain America call you a whore?' 'When is your baby due?'

'Is that Steve Rogers child? If not who's the father?' 'Did you cheat on him?'

'Are you involved with The Winter Soldier?'

'Why is Bucky Barnes staying with you? Did he get into more trouble after the Flag Smashers?'

'Weren't you one of those pardoned after the snap? Do you think you deserved it?'

She felt overwhelmed and blurted out a distressed "No comment" and quickly went back into the house.

Y/N slammed and locked the front door then leaned against it and sank down to the floor, tears running down her face. She sat for a bit until she felt the baby start kicking up a storm. The movement reminded her of what was at stake. She laughed a little through the sobs and rubbed her belly.

"We're gonna be ok, little one. I don't know how we'll get there but I'll always be there for you."

Once she had calmed herself down, Y/N struggled to pick herself up from the floor, her large belly making the act impossible. She had to crawl across the floor until she reached a chair that she could use to support herself on her way up. As she was struggling to get up Bucky returned from his run.

He hurried over to her "Doll, are you alright? Why are you on the floor?"

He helped her stand up and pulled her into a hug when he saw that she had been crying. "What happened?"

Tears started forming before she could try to stop them "I was, I just I tried to go for a walk and th-th-they were all there, yelling and flashing and I couldn't-" she flinched and started panting, grabbing her belly.

She tried to curl up "Fuck!" She grabbed his arm "Bucky, it hurts" she whined.

Bucky's eyes grew wide and his heart sped up "Nonono, sshhh, you're ok doll. It's ok. Ivegotchu." He settled her on the couch and called Sam for a ride. While they waited for Sam he helped calm her down, breathing through the contractions.

She looked at him with tears in her eyes "Bucky, I'm not ready for this. Her room isn't done and I need more onesies. And, and I'm not ready to be a mom on my own."

He pulled her close and rubbed her back "I told you. I've got you. You aren't alone. If she's born tonight I'll get her room finished before you're ready to come home." He kissed the top of her head "You're gonna be a great mom. I just know it."

She nodded and calmed down enough to breathe through the contractions until Sam took them to the Tower. He waited in his office for them in case they needed a lift home.

Helen Cho was waiting and had Y/N hooked up to an assortment of monitors. As she relaxed Bucky held her hand and told Helen what had happened.

Helen shook her head "The press has been going crazy since Captain Rogers showed up at that party. They've been camped out in front but can't get into the parking garage. You might want to see about staying here in the Tower."

Y/N shook her head. "I just want to go home."

Helen pursed her lips "Well, let's keep an eye on you for the night and discuss what's next tomorrow. Remember we discussed the possibility of delivering early, especially considering how fast she has been growing. Try to get some sleep. Sargeant Barnes, you can stay in your quarters here tonight, she'll be carefully monitored."

Bucky shook his head "Not a chance, doc. I'm staying right here."

Helen shook her head "It's your back Sargeant. I'll see you in the morning"

Y/N looked over at Bucky with fear in her eyes but she tried to be brave "You don't have to stay in here all night, those chairs can't be comfortable. I'll be fine."

Bucky looked at her lovingly "Don't be silly doll. I'm not going anywhere."

She relaxed noticeably when he said that and whispered "Thank you Bucky."

He squeezed her hand "Anytime sweetheart."

She felt the butterflies but her heart clenched when she reminded herself he wasn't hers and eventually he would get tired of helping Steve's ex raise a kid that wasn't his. Even though he said he was fine with it she knew that couldn't last.

She tried to relax and get some sleep but it was a long time coming. When she finally did find sleep there were strange disjointed dreams with Steve and Bucky that she could barely remember in the morning, except for the feeling of unease they left her with.

Bucky woke early as he always did. He sat up and stretched without letting go of her hand. He sat and stared at her sleeping, in awe of her beauty. He couldn't wrap his head around Steve's actions. How could he leave this woman, she was so perfect. One of the few that didn't treat him like a monster.

As he watched he saw her stomach move and bulge he smiled, gently pushing on the spot that moved. He pushed softly and laughed a little when the baby pushed back. He spoke softly "My baby girl is an early riser like Uncle Bucky, huh?"

Y/N groaned, feeling the baby pushing on her bladder, and stretched. She felt Bucky rubbing her belly and opened her eyes. "Hey Buck, you sleep alright?" and yawned.

Bucky smiled "I'm fine, you're the one I'm worried about. How are you feeling?"

"M'alright. Contractions seem to have stopped." She looked at her belly and whispered "I really need to pee."

He chuckled "You need help getting to the bathroom?"

She shrugged "Probably." sat up and turned to the side, her feet barely touching the floor.

Bucky put his arm out for her and helped her to the bathroom.

Once she was settled back into bed he brought her some water.

They sat quietly for a little while before one of the nurses brought some breakfast. Helen showed up while she was eating.

Helen smiled as she entered the room "Good morning. How are you feeling today, Y/N?"

Y/N nodded "Much better. The contractions stopped."

Helen looked at the read outs "Your blood pressure is back down to normal, heart rate is normal and baby seems like she's good." She made some notes before sitting at the edge of the bed and looking back to Y/N.

"Everything looks fine now and you can be released. You have a couple of options. You don't need constant medical attention but the extra stress from a baby affected by the serum and Rogers erratic behavior are increasing your risks. I would recommend you stay in the tower. The sergeant has a room or there are some empty quarters we can set you up in.

You can go home but I really would feel more comfortable if you stayed close."

Y/N shook her head "I won't be able to relax in a strange room. I just want to go home. I can have Friday monitor me and contact you if there are any concerns."

She looked at Bucky pleadingly and he scratched his head "I don't know sweetheart, maybe staying here would be safer...." he trailed off, wanting her safe but not wanting to upset her any more.

He looked at Helen "I'll keep a close eye on her."

Helen shook her head "She needs to be on bed rest, no strenuous activity! And if the contractions start up again I want you to call me right away."

Bucky and Y/N promised to follow her instructions and Y/N dressed to go home.

When they arrived back at her home the press were mostly gone but the pile of gifts from Steve had grown. While Bucky helped Y/N inside, Sam cleared off the stoop, tossing Steve's gifts into a bag and shoving that bag into the coat closet for Y/N to deal with when she was up for it.

A few days passed quietly before they heard a loud knock at the front door while they ate breakfast.

Y/N, jumped at the sound and looked towards the front door with dread, who could it be this time?

Bucky went to answer the door, squeezing her shoulder, on his way to the entry, reassuring her that he's got it.

They knocked again, Bucky sighed as he reached the door. He tried to look through the peep hole but it was blocked, which made him consider leaving them out there. He decided it could be important so opened the door and was almost knocked down by Steve as he rushed in.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Rogers?" Bucky spat out.

"I'm here to check on my girls. Where is she?" He hurried to the living room where Y/N was struggling to stand up.

Her face turned to stone when she saw him. "Why are you here, Steve?"

Steve glared at Bucky "I'm here to check up on my best girls. Tell your boyfriend to back off."

Y/N scoffed "Your best girl died before the Blip. The only one here was just a sorry substitute. You're not welcome here."

Steve walked up to her and reached out for her hand, scowling when she pulled back. "Look, Y/N, I know I messed up but I'm here now and I want my family back."

She rolled her eyes "You have a really bad memory problem. You've already had your second chance and we are over. I won't be the one you settle for because I'm having your kid."

Steve tried to interrupt "I'm not settling honey, I made a mistake. Peggy was my dream, you're the reality."

She shook her head "So I'm the crappy wish version? I want to be with someone who wants me, who chooses me first not like some consolation prize." She was breathing heavily and feeling lightheaded.

Bucky moved quickly to her side to support her, murmuring supportive words into her hair. "Are you alright, love? You look a little pale."

He helped her sit back down and gave Steve a dirty look. "She is high risk because of the serum and doesn't need you coming in here stressing her out. We've already had one scare so you should just go. We'll let you know when she's born."

Steve shook his head "I won't let you push me aside when it's my fiance and my child you're trying to take away from me. You're talking like you're a couple, like it's your kid."

Y/N had it. "Enough! I am not your fucking fiance, Steve! All I am is your baby mama and that's all I will ever be to you. How many times do I have to say this?

Bucky isn't the one who deserted me without a warning. He has been here, by my side ever since he found out." She rubbed her temple "you're giving me a migraine, I'm on bed rest. Please leave you are stress-" her hand moved to her belly "owww, oh no. Bucky" she cried, panicking.

Bucky wrapped his arm around her shoulder, rubbing gently "Try to relax doll, you're ok and I- what the fuck was that"  the bottom of his pants suddenly felt wet.

She started hyperventilating "I think it's my water. My water broke." She looked at him scared.

Bucky rubbed her back "Don't worry sweetheart. I'm gonna take care of you, ok. Let's get you dressed and get your go bag. Ok?"

Y/N nodded nervously and went to her bedroom to take a fast shower and get dressed. She put her hair away from her face then threw on a pair of sweats, one of Bucky's t-shirts and a pair of slippers.

She returned to the living room carrying an overnight bag and noticed Steve was still there, looking concerned.

She pointed at him "Why are you still here, I told you to leave."

Steve shook his head "No. It sounds like you're about to have my baby so I'm coming with you."

She scoffed "Like you care. You can sit in the waiting area because I don't want you anywhere near me." Her face pinched and she growled "Fuuuck!" looking around to see Bucky on the phone.

He finished up quickly and went to take Y/N's bag and offer his arm in support, looking at her concerned "You ok honey? Remember to breathe. I spoke to Helen, we're meeting her at the Tower. I also sent a message to Pepper, she will check up on you after we get you settled."

Y/N nodded quickly and tried to remember her breathing while keeping a bruising grip on Bucky's arm. He flinched lightly and started walking towards the garage, leading her slowly.

Bucky realized Steve was still there and shouted back at him "We're going to the Tower, don't much care what you do."

Steve nodded curtly "I'll meet you there."

By the time they arrived at the Tower Y/N was crying, sweating profusely, trying to breathe between sobs "Bucky, this is too much, I can't"

He picked her up bridal style and headed up to the medbay "I know it hurts doll but you can, I know you can. Helen will help and you'll have our beautiful girl in your arms before you know it." He grimaced as she tensed during each contraction but didn't notice the blood until he set her down on the bed Helen Cho pointed towards it.

Bucky looked to Helen with wide eyes, scared for the first time in years.

Y/N felt like she was being ripped apart as the contractions increased until she barely had a chance to catch her breath in between. She had a death grip on Bucky's hand and cried in pain as Helen did an exam to see how far along she was, brow furrowed at the blood.

Helen spoke softly as she removed her gloves, calling for an anesthesiologist and faced Bucky. "I'm going to give her a spinal for the pain, her blood pressure is pretty high as well. I'm going to do an ultrasound to see where baby is because she was head up last time." She spoke softly to Y/N explaining what was happening next and assured her that the baby was not in any distress.

As Helen performed the ultrasound her face showed her concern. She kept her voice calm so as not to stress Y/N any more than necessary. "So, she's still head up so we're going to have to do a c-section. The umbilical cord is wrapped around her neck as well. She still not showing any signs of distress and I want to get her out before she does. Sargent Barnes, you need to scrub and get a surgical gown and we'll meet you in the OR."

Bucky nodded and tried to keep the fear off of his face when he spoke to Y/N "I'm gonna go get cleaned up and meet you in surgery, ok sweetheart? They're gonna hook you up with some pain meds so you'll feel better soon and we'll get your baby girl." He kissed her forehead and walked away.

After she was given the pain meds Y/N calmed down a little before she was prepped for surgery until the baby monitor started beeping. She looked at nurse "Whats that? Is something wrong? Is she ok?"

Bucky came in wearing a surgical gown/cap/shoe covers and took her hand to calm her down as Helen quickly went to work.

30 minutes later Y/N's newborn girl was placed on her chest. Bucky took a couple of pictures and teased her about her slightly stoned looking smile.

After baby girl was cleaned and weighed, and mom was all stitched up they were taken to a small room where they worked on nursing until baby latched on. Bucky was right there making sure she was comfortable, warm enough, had enough support, gave her drinks and couldn't have been more proud if he had delivered a baby himself.

Steve was in the waiting room and looked anxiously at Helen when she told him that baby and mom were in the first room if he wanted to see them. He almost ran there but stopped at the doorway. The scene in front of him broke his heart.

Y/N looking beautiful but very tired holding his daughter as she nursed while Bucky was sitting on the bed next to her, metal arm around her shoulders, talking sweetly to the baby as she gripped his finger, a look of love and awe on his face. They made a beautiful little family.

Steve couldn't stand it and left without saying a single word.

Chapter 11

[resowrites]

Year Of The Rabbit - oneshot.

Summary: There’s teasing, reminiscing and a big surprise in the lead up to Henry and his girlfriend’s anniversary (following on from this oneshot but can be read as a standalone story).

Pairings: AU!Henry Cavill x Girlfriend!OC

Warnings: NSFW 18+ only, fluff, light smut/sexy talk (f masturbation/slight m dom vibe if you squint), banter/British humour, dialogue heavy, time hopping/vignette style, language, pet names, nondescript OC body type/appearance, hastily written/lightly proofread.

WC: 2662

A/N: This was meant to go up a while ago but time got away from me again, also please forgive the mistakes - my head’s still a touch sore from last night! Happy New Year folks, hope it’s a good one for you all ~ R x

My work must not be copied, reposted, or translated elsewhere. Likes, follows, reblogs and comments are thoroughly welcome and appreciated! Gifs/pics not my own. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for visiting!

Year Of The Rabbit - oneshot.

December 30th

"Er... I'm not sure this is the right turn."

"Henry, for the third time, I know where I'm going." He reached across to the glovebox and popped it open. She took a deep breath and kept her eyes fixed ahead, even when the corners of an unfurled map began to crowd her vision. They'd decided to spend January at the cottage, which meant they had to go home to pick up some more stuff.

"Yep, just as I thought, we're heading the wrong way. Oh no, wait. The map's upside down." She bit her lower lip, refusing to take the bait. "You still should've taken that last exit though, woulda shaved at least thirty minutes off the drive... are you alright? You seem a bit quiet." 

"I'm good... just enjoying the scenery." Henry sniffed and reached over to the glove box once again.

"Yes! I knew I'd remembered to pack it," he unwrapped a large block of tin foil and took a bite, "want some?" 

"No thanks."

"You sure? It's got extra nuts," Henry started waving the Christmas cake near her face, "here, I'll break off a small piece for me wee wife." A big chunk of cake then fell directly onto her lap. She gritted her teeth. "Now, if you take the next right instead of a left, we'll be back to the last exit in no time." She decided to pull over. "Oh darling, you didn't need to stop to read the map, I'm happy to give directions." She cleared her throat and looked directly into his devilish eyes.

"Darling, try all you like, you are not irritating me today."

"Oh? What makes you think I'm trying to irritate you?" Henry took another bite of cake, sending more crumbs flying everywhere. 

"Because you can't help yourself. But that's just fine, cos I'm not rising to it anymore. In fact, it's my New Year's resolution: to remain zen-like in your presence at all times." She then smiled and turned the key in the ignition. He made no reply, choosing instead to take another look at the map. "... Will you please get that bloody thing out of my face?!"

"What?! I'm just trying to help me wee wife get back on the right road--"

"And that's another thing, stop calling me your 'wee wife,' or I won't be marrying you at all!"

"But you are wee as well as my wife-to-be! What else am I meant to call you? Woman? And you can't backsie a marriage proposal, it's not like a new years resolution!"

"… Kill me."

"Oh come on, it's not that hopeless, woman. We'll find home again, I promise."

"Henry, I mean it, you put that map away right now and shut up or I'll take off my seatbelt and crash straight into the next fucking tree." Henry blinked.

"That's alright, I can always catch a lift."

"Christ, why me Lord?"

"I was thinking the same. We could have been back by now, having a shag in front of a roaring fire."

"Pfft, you'll be lucky."

"I know. When are you gunna put out? It's been days..."

"Perhaps when I'm not made to drive miles just to pick up a fucking Sonic game! And it's not even been 48 hours!"

"Yeah, 48 woman hours, in man hours that's closer to two weeks. And excuse me, it's Sonic Frontiers. How many times do I have to apologise for forgetting it?! You were the one who insisted on driving back, I was happy to go by myself!"

"Oh please, with the way you speed down these country roads?"

"Well I thought you'd take any opportunity to get rid of me?"

"I would but not at the expense of the bloody car!"

"Ollie?"

"What?!"

"… Just take a breath," she ground her teeth and ignored his smirk, "WAIT, LOOK OUT!" She quickly swerved, sending Henry into fits of giggles.

"You stupid, stupid twat! What did you do that for?! I could have crashed the fucking car!"

"Don't be silly, even you're not that bad a driver… "

"Oh my God I could kill you..."

"Oh, grow up."

"I need to grow up?!"

"Yes, or you shan't be receiving your anniversary present."

"What d'ya mean? What anniversary?"

"What d'ya mean 'what d'ya mean,' our anniversary! We met New Year's Eve, remember?"

"Oh... I thought we were just going to Mark and Claire's party?"

"Nope, I've got something else planned."

"Oh Henry, no more. You've spoiled me enough, just a quiet evening will do." 

"Trust me, you're gunna love it. And relax, it'll just be the two of us."

"Well now I'm sure to enjoy it..." 

"Don't worry, there'll still be plenty of drink."

"That's a relief, I always find it a rather solemn occasion..." He ignored her. 

"Aww, how could you forget the night your life changed forever? I can remember it like it was yesterday-- what you looking for?"

"The sick bags." Henry smiled.

"You know, you were the only woman I approached who didn't laugh at my jokes?"

"I laughed at you."

"Mmm... what was it I said again?"

"Er... something along the lines of 'nice dress, lucky you're not any taller." He cackled.

"Well it was bloody short! You still got it?"

"Pretty sure I burned it..."

"And what was it you said to me?"

"Um... 'that's a nice shirt, now hand me that Champagne and fuck off." Henry sighed.

"Yep, I knew right then you were my woman," she rolled her eyes, "you know I've still got that shirt?"

"Why? It was too small even back then..." He carried on ignoring her.

"You know, if we'd married back then we'd have been celebrating our seven-year wedding anniversary tomorrow? What do you get for seven years?"

"... An itch? And what kind of woman would I be if I married you straight away?!"

"A most fortunate one, my love. Do you what some women would give to marry me?"

"That's only cos they don't actually know you!" Henry smirked.

"... When did you realise you loved me?"

"Who said anything about love?!" He tutted.

"... I knew you only wanted me for my body." Henry then shoved the last bit of cake straight into his mouth.

"Oh my God look at the mess you've made! And I can’t believe you bought along a whole Christmas cake-- wait yes I can, it's exactly what you'd bloody do!"

"Then why are you marrying me?!" She sighed.

"I don't know... I must have hit my head and can't remember." 

"Well that explains why you didn't even remember our anniversary!"

"Oh my God, are you gunna be like this after we're married? Wait, we won't have to celebrate both anniversaries will we?" He nodded. "But can't we just roll them into one? I'll celebrate today in fact, call it my "prick-iversary.'"

"Oh stop it. You love this prick. And the man attached to it."

"Sure."

"Yes you do! I bet You’ll be a bigger wreck than me on the day…"

"What d'ya mean? Oh you better not start crying, or I’ll turn around and run!" Henry laughed.

"Well how could I not cry? We don't have enough sex now! What's it gunna be like once we're married?!"

***

She was laying beneath the bed cover with both arms under her pillow. She rocked gently back and forth, brushing her nipples against it and her bottom half against the other pillow between her legs. She didn’t even hear Henry enter the bedroom. "Right I've set up the other controller so— whoa, now! What's going on here?!"

"What does it... look like?"

"I dunno, lemme see…" He leaned over and tried to pull the cover down, causing her to grip the edge and roll onto her side.

"No, I don't think so…" She then closed her eyes, resumed grinding, and began massaging one of her breasts.

"So what am I meant to do?! Just stand here and watch?!"

"No but you can go... listen in the next room... if you like." Henry crossed his arms, his eyes still fixated on her chest.

"... Why are you doing this to me?!" 

"What?! I'm just celebrating our… anniversary."

"By having sex with yourself?!"

"When... do I not?" He tutted.

"How long've you been at it?"

"I've been edging for... nearly an hour."

"Without even using your fingers?! Oh darling, you must be in agony. Here, let me--"

"Henry! Will you please fuck off?!"

"Why?! I only want a little feel! Christ, I bet you're soaked…" Again Henry tried to pull back the cover.

"No don't... I'll cum too fast…" Her breath was short and she struggled to get any more words out. Eventually, she gasped and had to stop. Even beneath the covers, he could see her legs trembling. Henry snapped back up and unzipped his fly.

"Alright, on your back for me, there's a good girl."

"Nope."

"Ollie, that's enough. Get on your back. Now."

***

"Now, why is it you'll only cuddle me after I've fucked your brains out?" 

"… I think you just answered your own question there." She tried to wriggle free of Henry's arms.

"Oh no you don't. Come on, put your head back where it was, you were almost asleep."

"Nope, I'm going for a shower."

"Not yet you're not," he yanked her back and clamped her hip with his thigh so she couldn't move. Right on cue, she yawned as her face nestled into his chest. "I knew you loved listening to my heartbeat…"

"I'm not doing that!"

"Mm-hm, sure." Henry kissed the top of her head. "You know, this reminds me of when we were in lockdown."

"... How I didn't put your head through a window those first couple of weeks, I'll never know." He chuckled.

"Oh behave yourself, you love having me around. Now get some sleep, I'll wake you when it's dinner…” Suddenly her eyes popped open and she pushed at Henry's chest, forcing him to release her. "What did I do wrong now?!" But she quickly shushed him.

"Is that a knock at the door?"

"What? At this time? Who would it be--" she shushed Henry again.

"Can't you hear it? There's definitely someone there…" She rushed to put on a dressing gown and some slippers.

"Where are you going? Stay here, I'll go see who it is." He quickly threw on a tracksuit and jogged downstairs. Five minutes or so later, she could hear Henry clattering about the kitchen.

"Is everything okay, darling?"

"Yes! Dinner just came early, that's all. Go have your shower then come down…" He hoped that would buy him enough time. 

***

She trudged down the stairs about twenty minutes later, hair still wet and yawning like it was already gone midnight. "Darling? What are you doing?" Henry immediately jumped up and her eyes fell to the blanketed lump on the floor behind him. "What's that?" He stepped aside with a huge grin.

"Why don't you see for yourself?" Warily she took a few steps forward, glancing toward the counter before she crouched to the floor. 

"Wait, where's the food--" she'd never been in more shock than when she lifted off the blanket. 

"… Well? What do you think?" A lump had already formed in her throat. There, fast asleep, was a fluffy and very chunky Akita puppy. She quickly covered her face with her hands. "Ollie?" Henry dashed forwards and flung his arms around her. "Shhh it's alright... no! Don't cry, darling!" He soon found himself wiping away a tear or two of his own. Through no fault of her own, Ollie wasn't very demonstrative. But that moment was easily the happiest Henry had ever seen her.

“You got me… a… puppy? Really?" She could hardly talk for crying. He nodded as he wiped her face.

"Do you like her?"

"It's a girl?!" She sobbed harder, causing Henry to chuckle and kiss the top of her head.

"Of course! I didn't want you to feel outnumbered anymore. Here, do you wanna hold her?"

"No! Let her sleep…" She sunk to the floor anyway and began carefully stroking her fur. He took a seat beside her and continued drying her face. "I can't believe it, she's perfect... thank you so much. Even though you've got me crying like an idiot." Henry snorted.

“Well, I had to find the perfect girl for my other perfect girl! And I'm sorry, she was meant to be dropped off tomorrow but her breeders wanted to avoid the New Year's Eve traffic," he could see her face fall "what's wrong darling? Look, I know I've sprung this on you, and Kal and I are hard work enough, so if you're not ready it's fine I can--"

"No, it's not that! It's just… well what about Kal?" Their beloved boy was still fast asleep on the rug in the living room. "He's an older gentleman now, he won't appreciate being terrorised by a puppy--"

"Relax! they've already been introduced. Multiple times, in fact. It's what I was doing these last couple of months whenever I got a spare Sunday. She's super chill so he's fine with her. We were lucky, she was also the only girl in the litter--"

"Wait a minute, you kept her from me for months?!" 

"Well we had to be sure she had the right temperament! Akita's usually prefer being the only dog so--" she clamped a hand over Henry's mouth.

"It was a joke! She's absolutely beautiful, how old is she? Is she going to stay this colour?" The excitement in her voice made his heart sing.

"Should do, and she's just over four months. A friend of mine's already offered to train her to be a therapy dog when she's a bit older, he says she's perfect for it. And that way she can give you all the cuddles I can't when I'm away. Don't worry though, I'll continue toilet and crate training her in the meantime--" 

"No-- I want you to show me, I've never had a puppy before!"

"Are you sure? It'll be quicker just to teach her," she swatted Henry's arm "so, what are you gunna call her?" She thought for a moment.

"Copper!"

"Copper?!"

"Yeah, I mean... she looks that colour and I think it's also the seventh wedding anniversary gift?"

"Then Copper it is! Happy early anniversary, darling..." He planted a kiss on her lips and she felt the annoying, all too familiar sense of dread. "Darling? What is it?"

"It's nothing, I just... why are you doing all of this for me? First the cottage, and now this... it's not like I've done anything to deserve it--"

"Ollie, stop right there. I..." Henry paused for a moment, struggling to find the right words. "I know your life's not been the easiest, and being with me hasn't made it much easier--"

"Henry--"

"No, let me finish. I hope with time and the help of your sessions, you'll find it easier to trust people. But either way, I'll never stop trying to prove myself to you. Ever. You deserve the world, darling." She wiped away more tears. 

"Stop it. I left the sick bags in the car..." He grinned. "I feel terrible though, I didn't get you anything for our anniversary!" 

"Darling, you've had a lot on your mind. Though there is one thing you could do..." 

"Jesus, we were only at it an hour ago... or is that more like three days ago?" Henry smirked.

"I didn't mean that! Although, as soon as you've recovered just let me know..." She rolled her eyes. "I was actually going to ask you to play Sonic Frontiers with me." Her loving smile disappeared so quickly from her face that he burst out laughing.

"Fine. Copper's worth it. But no bloody cheating! Oh and--" she whispered something in Henry's ear. 

"... Really?! That's what made you fall in love with me?!" They both roared with laughter and shared another kiss.

To be updated on when I post please follow @resowrites and turn on post notifications.

@marytudorbrandon @luclittlepond @fanfictionaddiction99 @caffeinatedfestivalsheep @summersong69

[saritagiovanna]

It's OK to look at a piece of art, media, a book, and anything in between and constantly change your mind about your initial reading or take. You find new ways of interpretation, you find hidden meanings that you didn't see before. It's also OK to have different theories in your head about something and be excited for each of those theories!

I've watched Good Omens 2 four times now, and the Final 15 minutes countless times. I've read several discussions on the topic, I've read some fan fics, and I've lovingly adored all the beautiful artwork (seriously, I'm not a visual artist...stick figures are the best I can do....I'm a musician at heart...and what people have put out there is BREATHTAKING!!).

What's my point? The point is...point is...minds change, and will change again. And we have years before Season 3 comes out (hopefully in the medium we are accustomed via the show) before we can see if our theories come to pass, or something even more incredible is delivered to us (In Gaiman We Trust!!).

Now, apologies for what I'm about to show...I took a pic on my phone pointing at a screen and I still haven't figured out how to make screen grabs because of Amazon's blocking of them. In my earlier watching of the series and in my grief, I was on board with the Coffee Theory. I'm not as convinced of it anymore, other than the Coffee is a Metaphor for a threat from the Metatron (veiled as we see, or directly during discussions we don't). We KNOW Aziraphale doesn't want to go back to Heaven, he says so several times ("I've made my position quite clear." "I don't want to go back to Heaven, where would I get my coffee?"). He gets NERVOUS AF once Crowley's name is dropped by the Metatron. He has had MILENNIA to be worried about Heaven and Hell finding out about their Arrangement. The offer is made, but he knows that it's not an offer he can really say no to...he is talking to the freaking Metatron...THE VOICE OF GOD. He also KNOWS that Crowley won't want to go back to Heaven. And we know the internal struggle and problem that Aziraphale is dealing with in this look here.

He is NOT about to tell Crowley Good News as the Metatron said. The Metatron also KNOWS this. What a fucking CHESS MATCH this is! This is basically the equivalent of when Crowley says in Season 1 "We Are FUCKED!!"

So what does Aziraphale have to do? KNOWING that the Metatron is across the street looking in the window? He has to resort to the coded language he and Crowley have developed and HOPE TO GOD Crowley picks up on. I don't think Crowley did, but all the Clues are there in how nervous Aziraphale appears when he interrupts Crowley's confession. I'll try to flesh out my thoughts a bit more in another post since I want to show some more visual cues.

My other point? My thoughts can change, and have changed a bit since my heart was broken I saw the ending for the first time. I have no idea when I'm getting out of this deep well, but I don't think I want to leave!

[a-s-levynn]

1,2 & 20 for the asks?❤️‍🩹

I'm putting in a cut because it got long and rambly again because i'm appearently unable to skip my tangets and it's fucking sappy as shit because i'm emotional these days.

under the cut: song of the year, album of the year, what i learned this year

1, Song of the year? As much as i want to pick something from TMBTE i have to go with Wake the Dead by blessthefall. I listened the crap out of it since it's release and it very well deserves a shoutout.

2, Album of the year? TMBTE. No question there. Not just because it is and incredible album but it means so much more.

Without it so many things would not have happend to me this year. I like ST before but if there is not TMBTE there is no tour and if there was no tour i wouldn't have seen them live and gone off the deep end. If i wouldn't have seen them live i would not have met a bunch of very nice people who were spending their days in que as well. If i've not met them i probably never would have even touched the fandom.

But there was a new album, there was a tour, i did met amazing people and i dipped my toes into fandom spaces. And what that, or more accurately you guys gave me is what probably makes this album even more special in my eyes. Because even online i usually feel so out of place and if i do more than 2 post a day i'm convinced i'm the most annyoing mf to ever exist.

I don't want to sound too sappy and make it sound dramatic and shit but like.. the year i've had before this and the beginning of this one sent me on the gorund so hard.. So the small things that came with being in ST spaces just kept me going and got me up higher and higher and the crowning on that is this tumblr circle. And now i'm actually don't have waking up in the mornings.

Small things do matter so incredibly much for someone like me, who is emotionally an equivalent of a lone sad cat trying to find shelted in a rainstorm in a sopping wet cardboard box.

So my answer is TMBTE.

3, What’s something you learned this year? What have i learned? Oh boy.. i learned a lot about myself actually. I won't go into detail because that would be long and an entirely different conversation but there was a lot of self reflection and new perspectives and methods and stuff to manage the jumble that is my mind.

I also on a pretty good track on learning both reading and writing the ST runes thanks to the ever lovely Misha @thejawsoffate. Arguably i'm far better at reading it already than writing but i'll get there one day.

I also learned that you can't really forget drawing. You need some time to warm it back up but once you did a couple of fumbling attempts the knowledge starts to take shape again. I just looked at the phone i'm using for taking pics of my drawings and it has a separate folder for just art and if i also count the tiny token pieces individually besides the small offerings, i did over a 100 pieces since the end of november which is insane to think about, especially in relation to the fact that it's safe to say that in year i have not drawn more then six pieces.

So yeah. There was stuff? Sorry for making it this long again. 🤦🏻

[verycharismaticdragon]

My last (and priciest... rip wallet) nendo pakige came! It was... a whole this guy. Now it needs to be said I do not know the guy but he was picked for having perfect hair forrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... custom Wen Kexing I desperately wanted to make :D I hoped to find just the hair pieces but the only option was almost the price of a whole nendo so I was like. might as well get the guaranteed-not-bootleg one. I didn't want to cut and sculpt anything, so I looked for something that would be close enough on its own - and this hair is a very nice middle ground between my own headcanon (assymetrical front, mostly loose with only two strands tied in the back, purple/mauve undertone) and my fav AD design (this one).

I'm getting fabrics for his fit later (once i get my wallet out of hell.......), but since the hair and the faceplates were all here, I was impatient to try them together. So without further ado, please perceive!

have you ever seen a man so canon-compliantly punchable u started crying?.........

Was thinking of the "If you still haven't realized who I am, aren't Poisonous Scorpions a little too stupid?" scene :D It's the instant switch between Wife Wen and Valley Master Wen that did it for me! (i say as if im not obsessed with every single scene wkx is in)

The clothes are a mix between The Guy's (im sorry mr.*looks it up* zeyan li im sure ur a good character but i only got u to pull a victor frankenstein on u) and LBH's. I actually really vibe with these robes (theyre based on the same type i usually draw wkx in! yuanlingpao worn with opened collar!) but they have a Problem in that they are meant to be displayed with the og big coat (as in, this nendo doesnt have the stick part for the standee, his coat is supposed to hold him up) and it didnt fit with any standard standees I had. So I ended up using the ones that came with the doll bodies for these pics. Yes two of them (the second one props up the hair from the back). Good thing I was already going to replace the robes with doll body+clothes i guess... I also slightly photoshopped the second faceplate bcus the highlights turned out to be too big >< Currently figuring out how to color them in to this state irl.

Now, while I did get this nendo primarily for the hair, I also wondered if his faceplates would work for a potential Zhou Zishu and... yeah:

Was going for the "You dare to act against who's mine?" vibes with the second one because yknow. yeah. I'll need to get him different hair (these are Binghe's) as the front especially doesnt fit with the image I have for him, plus im not even sure I want the ponytail (and not some type of bun) for him, and ofc I need this hair for Binghe - but I daresay the vibes on the faceplates are 💯💯💯

All in all getting good mileage out of this purchase and I haven't even shown u the other half yet :D

[jaymzeecat]

Hot Dog! (with everything)

I'm in the coughing and phlegm phase of this cold right now... so my brain is admittedly a bit fuzzy. Still, I'm trying my best to sort out my Chicago trip timeline of memories... bear with me.

In the morning we ventured out of the hotel to scare up some coffee, the Funny Bunny took me to the fanciest Starbucks that exists I think. It was like two or three stories and my latte was $10! Hahaha.

After hotel check out we walked a while down to Portillos where I had my first Chicago style hat dag! It was really good, we had 'em with fries. Check in at the AirBNB wasn't until 4:30 so we ended up going to the Funny Bunny's apartment to take this certified Good Baby out for a walk.

I'd only previously ever seen her in pictures so it was great to meet this pupper in person finally. She is so cute. T^T

After getting settled at the AirBNB I think this was the night we went out to the new VeganX Market. I finally got to meet the Funny Bunny's partner (who I'll just refer to as "Bluey" for privacy purposes) who was kind enough to come pick us up. We checked out the little grocery store and picked up some vegan Kit-Kats which I was surprised to see since they're currently only sold in the UK... we didn't realize until after we bought them that they were crazy expensive, haha. Everything at VeganX was, I really hope they're able to lower their prices at some point otherwise it may be unsustainable!

They had a little food court where I got an Italian Beef and mozzarella sticks, everything was good! Vegan mozzarella sticks are always a rarity, haha. I really enjoyed getting to hang out with Bluey too, I really wish I'd had more time in Chicago to get to know them but fortunately we did get to hang out a few more times before I left. They might come out to Portland sometime too so that'll be fun. I'm extra appreciative that they were willing to drive us around so much.

The following day we went to the Field Museum and looked at lots of birds, rocks & gems and dinosaur bones. Being that I'm a bird nerd seeing all those specimens was my favorite part. I also got my first pic of the Adventures in Babysitting building!

Childhood memories achieved! It was mad overcast that morning too, some of the skyscrapers disappeared into the fog...

I think I brought the Portland weather with me, haha (and yes, we got hot dogs from that vendor).

After this we had a nice time in Chinatown and dinner at Veggie House. We met up with Bluey later for some awesome vegan soft serve at Vaca's. They had these bomb looking ice cream pies I really wanted to try but alas we didn't make it back there again before the end of my trip.

I can't recall if it was this night or the night before but we saw a motorcycle accident on the way back to the AirBNB... we discussed back and forth whether or not it was a fatality as the cycler was lying in the street. I think not because I swear I saw his hand moving but we couldn't find any news about it. We witnessed several (unrelated) car crashes and fender benders while walking around Chicago. Anything goes, I guess!

My city observations: How does Chicago compare to NYC (which I've spent a fair amount of time in) and downtown Portland? Chicago is a much cleaner city than either. While NYC as a whole smells like piss and hot garbage Chicago didn't have much of a smell other than city garbage every once in a great while. I was also thankful that there were many public restrooms and bonus they were fairly clean! Chicago definitely gets Jaymz's "Best City" award. *thumbs up*

Also, they have Ricochet Rabbit.

[sasusc]

So, as soon as I saw some of the Daryl spin-off pics from behind the scenes and whatever they've released, I had this blot bunny nibbling at my ear. And I so don't have time right now to attempt to write it...and once the series starts and we know more about these French characters, I might lose interest in writing something against canon character backgrounds. Maybe another Bethyl writer will take it up? Or they had the same idea and I'll be looking forward to reading it. I'm unloading and dumping this stuff that's been living in my head as soon as I started seeing posts and articles about Daryl’s spin-off and reading all the "Beth is alive!" theories. Somebody do something with it! I probably won't have time.

Anyways, I just saw this on the Instagram and it just brought me warm and fuzzy feelings. I know the post probably got some wires cross or something. I didn't look farther into the poster either.

This is what I saw (possible spoilers ahead):

Um, hello? This gave me such Daddy Daryl vibes. When I first saw this kid as a character, my delusional Bethyl heart saw him as a possible Daryl Jr. Like, if Beth survived and Beth and Daryl had sex before she was taken by Grady, this kid--Laurent--could be the right age. And then there's the info for the spin-off that Daryl would have to decide between his old and "new" family (I couldn't find a direct quote but it was something like this). I mean, look at the below pic... It could fit. Lol

And I looked up the name meaning for Laurent--which is:

"The bright one, shining one"

Reminds me of Beth. She's the sun and sunshine in her family's eyes. And probably something she would name a child. Lol. Pregnant/single mother in France--little to no chance of trying to cross an ocean to get back home, she'll pick a French name to blend in and pick a name that has some meaning.

And back to the first pic, the quote that's claiming its Laurent to Daryl? Daryl’s happy ending to me is finding Beth and having someone to settle down with. I really can't imagine they would use the same quote Judith said to Daryl, so I'm a little iffy Laurent would say this in the series. But if Daryl is struggling over staying in France with Beth and Laurent (a family he dreamed of but didn't think was possible) or going back to the US to his family there...Laurent could be saying "hey, be happy! Choose what would make you happy"

[wooahaes]

Aahh! Thanks so much for replying to me, it was super helpful! I really appreciate how in-depth it was too. I shall try reblogging something now (v excited hehe). Can I be bold and ask for any writer recs? I've seen you talk about June and Ursa alot, so I'll make sure to check them out! (You prob have it somewhere, but it's 2am and I need sleep haha) I don't mind getting assigned a random emoji (I'm far too indecisive to pick one tbh haha). I hope your tummy feels better! Thanks so much again!!

sorry to everyone im about to @ in this post sfdkhsdf BUT

(also i saw ur first reblog and sdkfhd anon ur SO cute!! i recommend finding a profile pic somewhere and changing it so ppl don't block you while assuming you're a bot!!)

ok so all of these ppl write for svt and i believe also write for other groups? i'm mainly going by svt writers who ik have posted fics before!! i'm so sorry in advance bc i know i'm leave some ppl off btw just bc i don't want this post to get super long :(

even tho you said you've seen me talk about june and ursa, i'll @ them here again so you can find their blogs

although june i don't think has written anything (yet), she tags everything she reblogs/recs over at @junhui-recs so v good source to find writers <3!! i trust a lot of june's taste tbh + she's just a lovely person to interact with in general <3

ursa @thepixelelf is also a lovely person and writer and i fully suggest checking out her social media AUs if that's your thing!! they're super inclusive (gn!reader, no ulzzangs, generally ursa's writing has no reference toward reader's appearance too tbh!!) and honestly ursa is rly funny <3 love u ursa

i also recommend livvie @husbandhannie <3 livvie has very comforting writing that feels like home + she's so good about tagging things so if you need to avoid a certain topic, you most likely will (and if u dont, she absolutely does not bite and will add a trigger warning if you let her know)

(which btw i think every single person on this list is pretty solid about tagging things and open to being corrected if they leave something out!!)

sol @leejungchans also has popped up a few times on my blog i believe! sol is super duper nice and also has super cozy writing <3

aria @joshuas also has some lovely svt fics on her blog!! + aria is a huge sweetie as well (literally everyone i rec here is super nice)

elv @dokyeomblr is also a very very lovely person (mwah) who writes for multiple groups!!! one day i will go back through her masterlist n reblog when i have the brain cell to fully write out the tags she deserves <3

i don't think i've ever interacted with @suhnshinehaos aside from reblogging her renjun smau, but i like her sense of humor a lot <3 (also v inclusive smaus!!)

uhh i also don't think i've interacted with @blossom-hwa often but she seems cool and i also like her writing (i reblogged a hoshi fic from her once that i enjoyed!! + i believe she writes for both skz and golcha and being a golcha fan automatically makes u cool in my book tbh)

i will cap my list there but there are sooo many good writers out there tbh !!! i think almost everyone here i've interacted with (but even if i haven't, maybe one dayyy after i stop being hindered by anxiety lmao) but they're all super nice to people in my experience! :)

i also have a fic rec tag where i've reblogged from writers that are and aren't listed here!!

also goodnight anon <3 btw i hope 🍧 is fine with you? i can absolutely change it if you want! i just think its a cute emoji and ur cute n also sweet like shave ice is (esp on a hot day... i am so tired of summer weather)

[chevvy-yates]

Have you done other cosplay other than CP77?

Ive always been interested in cosplaying but never found a way to explain to my parents about it... they think it's weird and I never got into it. As an adult in my mid/late 20s now, I feel like it's too late for me to start

Sure. I started to cosplay around 2005. I haven't done that many, tho because sewing/crafting process took me longer and longer the newer the costumes got with me having less and less time (first still in school, then lots of time during my studies and almost none when I started working). Btw my mum found it weird as well but in the end she was proud of what I did. She's still showing people my last/newest ones and just asked me yesterday when I do sth again. Also it is never too late to cosplay. I'm in my 30s now and I really want to pick it up again. I still have a small list of what I wanna do. So feel free to start any time! :) Also it doesn't matter if you buy the costume or you sew it yourself (the latter is more win for you when you finally finish it and can be proud of it that you did all that).

Well where to start?

I've started with J-Rock/Visual Kei cosplay. The scene was pretty big back then in my country (Germany) until 2012 when it got nearly extinct bc people started talking mean behind backs (also K-Pop taking over …) and it got lots of drama (kindergarten behavior). I continued on but then I got back into playing video games and thought, alright I'm gonna do some games cosplay, too!

I've done only three and they cost me over 600 bucks to make each: Arno Dorian from Assassin's Creed Unity, My oc Inqusitor Lavellan from Dragon Age Inquisition and Triss Merigold from The Witcher III. I've got no good photo from the last tho, and I felt somewhat awkard bc it was my first female cosplay ever — done only male characters before, felt weird, idk. Still want to wear it one day again to get some good shots that all the hard work was worth it.

My Visual Kei cosplays were mostly Kuina from Royz and Kyotaro from √eight and I did one of my beloved Hizumi (not my cp77 oc) from D'espairsRay. I did a few others but they are not worth mentioning.

chronologically order: left is me, right the original, I'll link videos if a music video is available for the jrock stuff.

KYOTRARO (Vocalist of √eight) (every) Taro cosplay (I'll only show this one bc the others are not worth it) was mirrored from the hair (and contacts), tho. I loved this one, I was very very close to the original I think. Kyotaro-san still has a special place in my heart. <3

YOSHIATSU (Vocalist of CrazyShampo (later DADAROMA)) when I wanted to be a cute anime boy or sth like that.

KUINA (Guitarist of Royz) — Haru no Yoru no Yume FYI: V-Kei bands often had an outfit for a single they did a video for and during that time they changed their hairstyles like once a week, therefore there's always a slight difference in the hair colors/styles/contacts/makeup. Also back then it was super annoying to get high res photos. V-Kei cosplayers mostly made their costumes from scartch using tiny pixel pics the band members uploaded to their ameba blogs back then.

Version 1

Version 2

KUINA (Guitarist of Royz) — AREA Still one of my favorites, ahhh.

KUINA (Guitarist of Royz) — Starry Heaven was a whole pain to find fitting patterns and to sew as well.

Arno Dorian – Assassins Creed Unity (Elise Reveal Trailer Version) Arno is my baby. Idk how many times I watched the trailer trying to analize the friggin' seams on his coat. the coat alone has over 40 single pieces to sew together.

Hizumi (ex-Vocalist of D'espairsRay, now in NUL.) – FINAL CALL There's two versions, the official from shoots and the live version – I did the last where Hizu had this fluffy hair <3 (klick the link). Didn't look like it was much of work, but I ordered fabric to be printed for this … expensive stuff, ugh. everything except the pants and bracelets is selfmade (yes even the belt).

Inquisitor Lavellan – Dragon Age Inquisition I just realized I have no real screenshot of my cutie elf wearing this outfit how I sewed mine together. It's kind of a mix of the outfit my human oc had along with my elf oc lol – I'm sorry.

Triss Merigold – The WItcher III Sadly only a selfie, ugh. Definitely doesn't do the costume justice – blood, swaet and tears were put into this costumes thrice as much as I already did with Arno and Lavellan. I punched the pattern into leather myself what you can see on the vest. everything leather was also dyed all by myself.

I mean:

Triss' outfit is my true maserpiece, so far. proud af

Wow compared to all my former cosplays my CP77 cosplay is nothing against that bc I didn't sew a thing for it, I just combined stuff together. But it is so satisfying when you don't have to prepare half of a year with a deadline to go to a convention being totally exhausted from a sewing marathon that lasted 3 months straight, each evening after work and all day on the weekends (therefore I stopped some day).

Okay done :,D

[shawnjacksonsbs]

Where is it we find peace? 2-3-24

"Buddha says "A child without courage is like a night without stars!" - Punjab

It's early.

Maybe 5:30 a.m. on this Friday morning and 4 am wake up calls . . .proves my age, I suppose.

On my mind . . .

A couple of the kids still out there in their struggles, trying their best to do it their way. And, although it isn't what I want for them, it is, in the end, on them.

Wanting to see successes from them regardless of how hard their head has to hit the wall, is something I'll carry with me always.

Love is unconditional.

Help and boundaries are not, or at least we try to hold tight, for everyone's benefit. Benefits not always seen in the short sight.

Umm, we are also going to have a few of the grands this weekend. Our youngest granddaughter had her first overnight here with her big sister, and when we take her home later her big sister will stay behind, as we wait for another granddaughter from a different family set to start a mini birthday party/sleepover celebration. Just the 2 of them. It's a little exciting, and it's always nice spending time with the grands.

Work is starting to pick up and get back on track. Starting the year with a couple of very decent jobs. Follow the Pride Fence Page for details and updates. Lol no lol

!~I had my 2 month old phone shoot craps at the beginning of the week. Usually, I imagine, most of us would start the nonstop adventure of replacing it asap. It's almost debilitating just accidentally leaving it behind or losing it. Am I right?

After printing map instructions to my job, like the Geico caveman, I had to head out because i had to be there no matter what.

I spent the day fighting all urges to call it quits and go get a new phone.

Feeling like a dopehead trying to not hit the pipe while still in the trap house, I made it through. At the end of the day, I went and got myself a new phone, new carrier, etc.

Other than just being beat out of about 2 months' worth of messages, pics, contacts, and overall data, I'm no worse for wear.

It did make me think about our way of life, though.

Like our, as in "OUR", big our, all of us here, at least in this country and culture.

Some of us older people might stand a bit better of a chance than the younger generation, but it would still be so devastating a collapse that recovery would feel impossible if we seriously lost all technology, or even just the internet.

Collapse.

Hard reset.

We depend so much on this stuff to maintain our way of life. Some may brag that they can live off the land etc, etc, but unless you're a backwood/mountain country person who only goes to town once or twice a year to trade, we would all be affected.

Obviously this happened the way it was supposed to, but man . . .I'm not looking forward to "suppose to" to be attached to the collapse of society.

I guess that empties my mind enough to restabilze my mental and emotional state for the week.

Thanx for taking time to hear me out.

As always, your thoughts are welcome.

And remember to share your love and your laughter with the world around, and be kind as always as possible.

We're all just a dead phone away from an uncomfortable day. Lol

Until next week;

"You love money and power and capitalism? You know they're never going to love you back" - Grace Farrell

[junniepop]

JJK men and a male reader

So I died and came back. Now my inbox is filled with a lot of Jujutsu Kaisen stuff with a male reader, so I looked around and noticed there aren't a lot of male writers or even gender neutral ones, meaning that's what I'll be doing for awhile. This first request is...

before I get started, if you'd like to request something, then please see my masterlist

JJK boys with a male s/o

Warnings: aged up and language oh and some nsfw stuff cuz that's what they wanted.

Characters: I. Yuuji, F. Megumi, G. Satoru, N. Kento, R. Sukuna, T. Aoi

I. Yuuji

Isn't hung up by you being male, I feel as Yuuji got older, the more open minded he became. His sexuality was something that evolved as he aged and had a big change in his mid teenage years when he was exploring himself. Into his late teens he began seeing people of all types of representation, he simply did not care how they presented themselves.

That leads us to you, our gorgeous male that has Yuuji simping. All seriousness, this man loves entirely, some might even find it to be smothering. He is the type to text you paragraphs of good morning and goodnight texts, always leaving something for you to eat in the fridge, brings something home because it reminded him of you, and always always makes time to call you before a mission.

Yuuji always has random thoughts about you. Like, "Should I make his favorite tonight?" "I wonder what he's doing." "Oh....that would look so cute on him, should I get it?" "AH this charm has our initials on it! that means it was meant to be!"

If you're a sorcerer, Yuuji d e m a n d s to be your partner on missions and he will have a fit if someone says no. Is constantly stressing himself out over your well being, even if he knows you can handle yourself. always asking about your technique and is amazed every time he sees it. Very protective, stands in front of you a lot and when he see's you struggling he doesn't hesitate to get the curse's attention regardless of his own situation.

Also just because I feel like he would: Yuuji gave you a promise ring when he realized you were the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.

He has this need to prove to you that he is a fit partner, Like showing you he can cook, has his own place, very responsible with his money and what not.

The type of guy to send you a million snaps a day. He will literally show you everything he did that day and wants the same in return.

Every date with him somehow includes a physical activity. Going out to dinner? chances are Yuuji will see an arcade and more specifically the DDR in the background.

NSFW

In terms of sexual stuff, Yuuji seems like a top, but has definitely thought about bottoming and upon trying it- was not into it. Does not matter if you're much bigger than him or not, he will top you. However, Yuuji is rather submissive when it comes to his partner, he will say yes to whatever it is you want. You want him to be soft and gentle, he'll do it. You want him to absolutely wreck your ability to walk, he'll do it.

The first time Yuuji tried stuff with a guy, he for sure looked up if it would hurt and read that anal could be very painful, was TERRIFIED that he would hurt the guy. Definitely was asking with every movement if he was okay. With you he's more confident, but still askes if you're okay throughout the event.

Man is simple, likes very intimate positions where he can see your face. Heavily into pleasing you, he tries any kinks you're into even if he's not that into it. Loves being praised, it just does something to his brain, in that same line- any sounds you make go straight to his dick. Really enjoys marking, is proud to cover you in them too.

The type of guy to enjoy eating you out, like fully sit on his face. Plus it helps his dick slide in smoother.

Yuuji will lose his mind if you say you want to milk him. Yuuji usually never thinks about his own pleasure, so when you want to pleasure him until he's empty, mans is not readyyyy. Just stutters out an okay and proceeds to go stupid when you start.

Conclusion

Yuuji loves you entirely. Trusts you 100% and would do anything to keep your life stable and happy. Yuuji just wants to grow old with you tbh, so in love with the idea.

If you were to break up with him, he would be devastated, unable to continue on for a long time. I mean he placed his everything into you, why would you do this to him?

all in all, it is a very stable relationship as long as you don't take him for granted because he is prone to letting people use him.

F. Megumi

Definitely did not care you were male. Megumi cares about a person's mentality, their goals and dreams, the way a person carries themselves. When Megumi met you, he found you quite attractive, your drive is what lured him in and from there his feelings developed.

Megumi is subtle in showing his affection. Little touches here, sticky notes meant just for you, always carrying 'extra' snacks. It actually might take you awhile to notice his affections for you, simply because it is so subtle. Megumi seems like the person to wait until you confess. However. Megumi would confess if he gets pushed to or knows he won't get rejected.

Once he confesses, his love is soft and soothing with a hint of awkwardness. Megumi in the beginning would be showing affection through words and small acts of service, always telling you how much he appreciates you and doing things for you. Some of these things would be things like picking up snacks for you, doing your laundry, leaving you some of his clothes. He likes to do these things without you knowing because I think it lessens the embarrassment he feels doing it.

Even if you are in a long term relationship with him, he always gets flustered by you. Megumi is naturally reserved, so telling him I love you with sincerity will cause him to malfunction. Poor boy freezes and stutters around his words while avoiding eye contact.

Now, physical contact in this relationship is a tell tale sign of how much Megumi trusts you and loves you. Megumi is the type of person to reserve physical touch for someone he completely trusts, so with you, this will let you know his true feelings.

Touch would start with closeness at first, just grazing hands or bumping knees, but would develop into hours of intimate cuddling because he's touched starved. KISSING, oh my lord- his kisses tell you everything he feels. so intense, no matter how soft he kisses you.

if you're a sorcerer, Megumi is the type to go on missions with you, but doesn't complain if he can't go with you. However, worries a lot and contemplates going after you. Unlike Yuuji, who would go to literal war, Megumi trusts your strength a lot. The only time he is like yuuji is against a particularly strong curse. Loves fighting together though, it shows how much you trust him.

NSFW

Megumi gives me verse energy. Like he was a top for a long time, asked you if he could bottom once and was surprisingly into it. So now when the mood arises, its whatever you guys are in the mood for. You guys often take turns.

His first time was with you- Megumi just seems like a late bloomer and you were the only person he did stuff with. He's very gentle because he knows it can be painful, I think sexually his fear is not being good enough for you, so give him as much reassurance as you can.

Now this boy is rather kinky despite his personality. Loves when you beg, drives him mad to hear your pleas and whimpers. Likes the pain of you needing something to hold onto when he tops which results in scratches down his back and the pulling of his hair. Doesn't think condoms are necessary because you're the only person for him in his eyes- aka likes breeding. When he bottoms, he enjoys riding and wants to see your face as he does. Do not get it twisted though, he's very much into you messing him up and railing him.

SEND THIS BOY NUDES. DO IT. Mans will sprint home if he has to. Don't do it too often or he'll get used to it. Maybe like once every two-ish weeks. Or better yet do it while he's on a mission. Megumi always tries to answer you, so expecting something serious, he short circuits when its just a pic of you in some underwear he thought he ripped the last time you guys were intimate.

Conclusion

Shy boy into some kinky things with his partner. It might take him some time to develop a deep relationship with you because he's scared you'll leave, but as long as you provide him the security he needs, he'll stay by your side indefinitely.

If you were to break up with him, you're just like his dad in his eyes and the betrayal would result in him locking many people out. Unlike Yuuji, who's emotions pour out of him, many wouldn't know Megumi is barely scrapping by.

G. Satoru

Gojo doesn't give a rats ass how you present yourself, he lives by the motto "a hole's a hole." What truly would make Gojo invest in more than casual hooking up is your personality. Gojo needs someone who doesn't need him and doesn't care about who he is in the sorcerer world. Someone like that would capture his eye rather quick and this man is like "Eh? I'm GOJO SATORU, you know top dog?" and you would just blink and go back to whatever it was you were doing.

Shows off so much trying to impress you. "ne ne (Y/n) did you see me squash that special grade into dust?" *sigh* "Yes Gojo, I also saw you split one into a thousand pieces and turn another into a ball." so unamused by his abilities.

The one time he saw amazement cross your features is when he was playing the piano (I feel Gojo's other talents were never looked at and everyone saw him as this god like being, all he wants is someone to look at other things he can do.) and his heart skipped a beat. Because his first goal was just get into your pants, he was quite surprised you were more interested in his normal talents. This is where he begins showing you his real side, still a teasing man child, but he begins asking you about your interests and seeing what you have in common.

The more he learns, the harder it is for him to find a way not to commit to you. You see Gojo subconsciously looks for a reason to leave, he hates being tied down and is super flighty. Then there's you, ticking all his boxes without even knowing it. There's only been one person to do that.

So he takes a leap and goes for it. He's still scared that he'll get burned like last time, but he's willing to try.

One of the requirements to being with Gojo is you need to be strong in your own right. Gojo is an extremely powerful man with many enemies, so his partner must be able to handle themselves. Being a sorcerer, Gojo would B E G you to go with him on literally every single mission and would throw the biggest tantrum until you say yes. Sometimes when he's being particularly childish, he'll stop fighting the curses to watch you do it. "You can do it (Y/n)-chan, if you win I'll give you kisses." Takes everything in your power not to launch your technique right at him as he sits there with his shit-eating grin.

This man in the beginning of your relationship is immediately extremely handsy. Just all up on you all the time, but little do you know is, this is really a protective measure for when you're out of the house. At home, he's still handsy, but you can just feel how different it is. He'll come and fall asleep on you, stand behind you when you're doing your skincare routine, always following you around the house.

Overtime, you'll become his place to rest when he needs to recharge. You're the only time Gojo gets a break from being at the top. It makes you wonder if he ever truly gets to be normal.

Overall, Gojo's love is deceptively delicate because his personality is quite childish, he uses it as a mask to hide how he's really feeling. So you might think everything is going swimmingly until he ups and leaves you. Once he starts showing you that real side of him, that's when you have him wrapped around your finger.

NSFW

This man is incredibly horny. His stamina is very high and he's very kinky. Gojo is a dominant verse whore. It doesn't matter if he's taking or giving, he's always in control. Honey you were not first and you might not be the last, this man is very confident in pleasuring you.

Gojo like I said, is incredibly kinky. He enjoys degrading you, overstimulating you until you beg him to stop, he wants to break you and make you only crave him. Seriously, you might want to think about a safe word because this man won't stop until you're not even speaking coherent sentences. In saying that there are somethings that you can try (key word 'try') to do to make him lose his mind. One of those things is a blowjob, his dick is incredibly sensitive in certain areas, so he'll become a mind-numbed mess if you're good enough. Another is softly begging in his ear and saying how he's the only one who makes you feel this way aka call him your god in bed and he'll bust right then and there.

Phone sex. Legit will call you if you guys haven't been together for a few days and all you hear are his whines and groans. "Guess what I'm doing cutie~"

THIS MAN- you're never safe to answer your phone because one time you opened the snap and it was him lazily jacking his dick. You have a small heart attack every time the notif is a snap from Gojo, just praying you can open it in public and 9/10 you can't.

The type of guy to get handsy in public places. Just in your ear like "Baby pleeeeasssseeeee can we fuck in public, I promise you'll still be able to walk when I'm done."

Conclusion

Gojo is a rollercoaster of a relationship that needs it's rider to be okay with a lot of distance for awhile and sudden disappearances. Without the right criteria, the relationship is doomed to fail.

If you were to break up with him, he would immediately sleep with as many people as he can to numb himself from the pain of having a hole ripped right through him. He'd go back to that childish personality, but you can feel the edge in his words despite his tone.

N. Kento

Nanami gives me 'gave up on the sex of my partner ages ago' energy. Like he has tried relationships with a lot of people and realized all people suck. So you being a man means nothing to him, you just have to prove to him you're not shitty like everyone else.

The type of guy that takes you out on proper dates in the beginning. It's usually dinner because of his job, but sometimes he'll ask you to lunch. Nanami will bring you small gifts like flowers or Knick knacks he thought you'd like.

Nanami likes someone a little younger than himself, probably around 23-24, they still have that idealistic thought process but with realistic foundations. He likes someone who can be serious, but still enjoys things like joyrides or going out bowling.

Nanami is a very uptight guy, so you're going to have to work to get him to relax. When you do, this is when he starts to see you as long time partner rather than someone who is just for fun. Literally goes from stick up his ass, to a big softie that just wants to curl up in bed with you. He'll start smiling more and doing intimate things like bathing together.

Nanami would probably rather have someone outside the sorcerer world so he doesn't have to think about work when he sees you. He wouldn't complain if you were though, gives him a lot less to worry about since he knows you can handle yourself. Doesn't even stress when you go on missions by yourself, he respects your strength.

NSFW

Now Nanami is moderately kinky. He's definitely a top and will not change. He's into ddlb (dom daddy and little boy for my innocents out there.) Very much into control and making you take it, he's not one for brats and will tame that shit right out of you. Doesn't need a safe word, he's very good at gauging your reactions. Really really into deep throating and you better learn how to breathe or you'll be struggling. Likes breeding, so he would be glad you can't have children.

Conclusion

Nanami’s love is traditional and straight forward. He likes routine to a certain degree and that degree ends at stable relationship, everything else is not that fun without a level of risk to him, but he likes that when he comes home, you'll be right there.

if you were to break up with him, Nanami would sigh and say he told himself so. He's hurt, but it'll solidify that people are still and always will be shitty.

R. Sukuna

Sukuna does not do love. period. The only way I could see him giving notice to someone is if they are powerful, someone who can bring him amusement. Sukuna only does thing for his own entertainment end of discussion.

I’m going to be using post-Yuuji Sukuna, so he’s restricted by Yuuji himself and can’t outright cause chaos at all times. This way Sukuna has to spend more time with people than he’d like to, normally he would just kill something once he’s bored, but now he has to deal with them.

Noticed your technique through Yuuji and was amused, much like Megumi, he thought your curse technique had a lot of potential to be devastating. As Yuuji spent more time with you, Sukuna began noticed more things about you, like that you cooked better than Yuuji, were extremely versatile in battle with your technique and so on.

The type to notice your attraction to him and act on it. He can’t really do much since he’s in Yuuji’s body, so he’s going to work with what he’s got. Didn’t care if you’re male or female, he just likes a strong partner so he can go harder during sex.

Your relationship would start with being his toy, something to bring him pleasure that is all. With Sukuna, you must both respect him and not fear him. He’s very big on respect and trust, but hates when someone he views as ‘important’ fears him because they’ll betray him the second they can. Everyone else can fear him, he doesn’t care.

Sukuna is also highly unpredictable and unstable, be prepared for death at a moments notice tbh. He’ll kill you if he feels like it. In a deeper relationship, Sukuna is a hard pressed tsundere, saying things quite harshly. Saying things like, “Here brat, I don’t need you breaking just yet.” “Dumbass, that curse was stronger than you.” “I took care of them because you’re weak.”

Trust between Sukuna and you is a game of high stakes chess, one wrong move and you’re nothing but trash to him. However, succeed in earning his trust and you’ll be rewarded with a loyal man. Though Sukuna hates showing vulnerability, so he’ll treat you the same in public places that he would treat anyone else. Alone, he’s alright with whatever as long as it doesn’t annoy him.

Surprisingly protective. He’ll kill curses he deems are a problem to you or rip a person limb from limb if he found a hair missing from your head. Doesn’t understand why you don’t let him handle it, he’s way stronger than you.

Is almost never soft with you unless he’s extremely tired or just waking up. Holding you as close as he can and telling you not to go. Don’t bring it up either, he’ll end you if you tell anyone.

Will never tell you, but likes touching you, you’re very soft compared to him. He’s the type of guy to have callous from years of fight and doesn’t really care about his skin to much because he’s a God in his eyes.

Would rather surrender himself to a church than admit he gets slightly giddy when you remember small details about him. Like this man has a lot of history, so when you know a tiny random detail about him, his non-existent heart shutters a little.

Nsfw

This man is extremely kinky during sex. I pray for your well being because honestly I don’t know if you’re going to live through sex with him. A dom top period, that last person to even insinuate they could top him was added to his innate domain permanently.

He’s into completely dominating you and make sure you know he owns you. B I G into impact play, slapping you a lot until you’re a beautiful red. Degrading and humiliating you, honestly would let people watch so they know that you’re his property.

Actually really likes his partner to be a brat, man loves breaking you and turning you into a submissive bunny just for him. Honestly he just likes pushing people beyond their limits, like really into emotional play, he wants to see your expressions when he does something. Ooo objectification, will use you like a foot stool and sit on you. Man in general will work you hard.

In saying all that, immaculate aftercare because he knows your mind is too far gone to remember him being this caring and soft for you. Literally bathes you and gets you into bed curled up on him. Also makes sure your body didn’t sustain a lot of damage during sex.

Do. Not. Taunt. Sukuna. It will not end well. “Huuuh? You think you can handle more little boy?” Eyes narrowed and smile too tight. You’ve awoken the beast and he’s not going to leave anything unbroken.

Conclusion

Sukuna’s love is... well a bike ride through hell? To be honest you’ll never know if he loves you. Everything about him is highly unpredictable and dangerous, you could end up as worm food in seconds.

Breaking up with Sukuna... you’re joking right? You don’t have the balls to tell a man who could split you into a million pieces with a flick of the wrist, you’re breaking up with him , right?

Seriously he’ll kill you, no hesitation. It’s either realize you’re stuck with him or die. I think most people would assume he never cared at first, but he did care and now you want to leave him? Absolutely not. He set everything down for you and he’ll be damned if he lets you live without him.

T. Aoi

(First and foremost- why is it so hard to find Toudou headers.)

Okay, I’m sorry but Toudou to me is a straight guy, so I can’t really see him with a male. But, if it were to happen, I think it would go like this:

Being childhood friends with Toudou, you were used to his eccentric personality and sometimes extreme antics.

This man is EXTREMELY comfortable with you. You guys grew up together, so some of the things you guys do together would definitely be seen as way too much for friends. I’m talking sharing the same bed, bathing together, using each other’s things without permission. To you guys, you’ve been doing this since you were little, so neither of you think twice.

I think there would be a trigger that would make Toudou realize he’s more into you than being friends. Like maybe someone flirting with you, he’d at first think he’s being replaced as a friend, but it’s much deeper than that. Definitely debates in his head about what he’s feeling toward you. After going back and forth with his type of girl in his head, he’ll come to terms with it.

This is when he’ll start noticing things he’s never payed that much attention to before. Things like how small you’re compared to him, the way clothes fitted to your body, how pretty you actually were and most important difference- how he’s never noticed you have the fattest ass he’s ever seen.

Seriously this man’s sexuality went from women to women + you.

Toudou isn’t the type to wait either, as soon as he knows how he feels, he confesses. He’s the type of guy to say “take it or leave it, that is how I feel.”

You kinda just stand there. Like, huh? Toudou are you feeling okay? Have- have you been cursed? There’s no way, Toudou middle name pussy pounder Aoi just said he was into you romantically... right?

After the shock, you reciprocated his feelings and began dating.

Now, this man- S U P E R affectionate and devoted. Always wanting to hold hands or link arms. He loves cuddling and playing with your hair while you sleep on him. Puddy in your hands if you give him a massage.

Toudou is immensely dedicated. He knows your favorite foods down to the amount of salt you use on your fries, knows what sizes you prefer for hoodies, shirts, button ups and so on, and this man knows your favorite movies by heart.

He’s the type to buy you something simply because you said it was starting to give you problems.

Lovvvvessss dates. I mean he’s a hopeless romantic, he wants to take you on really cheesy dates that you’d see honeymoon couples go on.

The type to want to match clothing or jewelry.

If you’re a sorcerer, he’s wanting to train everyday, he likes seeing you in action. Double points if you can match him in strength too. He respects your strength enough to not worry about you, he’s confident in his S/o’s abilities.

NSFW

Top. Enough said. Ok but seriously, he wants to clap you cheeks so bad.

Toudou has the biggest size kink too, I’m talking like he’s the type to point right at your navel and say “I’m right here baby~ can you feel me filling you?”

His definitely into railing. His favorite position is the mating press, allows him to hit deeply and as hard as he wants.

Lovesss when you whine and beg. He wants to see how much you can take before your begging him to let you cum.

The type of guy to leave your ass a nice reddish purple color. Just two big ass hand prints on you ass and hips.

✨i m m a c u l a t e✨ aftercare. It’s almost like he’s worshipping you when he’s cleaning you up and making sure you’re taken care of.

Conclusion

Being with Toudou is like being with an Aries, he’s high energy and can get easily bored. He enjoys someone who excites him both mentally and physically. Loves a challenge. Toudou’s love is like a concentrated ball of sunlight, it’s hot and bright. He’s overly devoted to you and tells you how much you mean to him all the time.

If you break up with him, he’s the type to hold his head high until he’s alone and then he breaks down, crying into his hands. Thinking, “Was I too much?” “Maybe I wasn’t enough?” He’s confident, but he’s still a person with insecurities.

[istanfluffycontent]

Heeeellooooo. If you’re available can I please request “when you say you want a new partner on the phone (prank)” and “when someone hits on you” for TXT? Thank you! 💓💓💓💗💗💗💖💖💖

No problem, i'm making a change though, instead of saying you want a new partner, it's now "hinting that you want a new partner" I'll try to do the second one once im done with this <3 Also thank you so much for the request 💓 !

Tw: cursing and a bit of jealousy but it's all fluffy in the end <3

Masterlist/wip list/things i might do later

FEATURING: Txt with food NUM

Txt when you hint you want a new partner/they are too boring on the phone (prank)

Soobin:

you saw a tiktok and got the idea to pull a prank on your boyfriend Soobin. you told the members are they were all for it, especially Yeonjun so you decided to do it with him

"hey y/n, yeonjun hyung's calling you."

you went to pick up the phone and started the plan

"heyyyy y/n, how's it going"

"ehh, life's not very exciting. why'd you call?"

"just wanted to check up on you and soobs. how are things between you guys?"

"like I said.. it's not.. ya know, anything out of the ordinary. kinda boring, actually."

welp, that caught soobin's attention

"Babee, what do you mean it's boring?"

you ignore him 

"ohohoh you want something new huh" yeonjun you sneaky mf this wasn't in the plan-

"yeah I guess"

"Oh! I got it, why don't you try and be my girlfriend for a day and see how it goes?"

Before you could respond, Soobin yanked the phone from your hand

"listen here dipshit, if you want a girlfriend, get one. y/n's my baby."

anddddd he hangs up

instead of an angry reaction, you got a confused and sad puppy that towers over you being 6'3

"babe.. if you don't like me- or, or doesn't want to be with me anymore, then just tell me i can-"

you just couldn't see him so depressed

"SOOBS, ITS A PRANK"

immediate attitude change

"It's.. A PRANK?! i was about to pour my heart out and cry for a PRANK?"

Yeonjun:

you saw a trend online and decided to play a joke on your boyfriend Yeonjun. you told the others and they were all in favor of it, especially Beomgyu, so you decided to do it with him.

"Hey pabo, Beomgyu's calling you," 

You picked up the phone and began the plan

"Hey gyu! why did you call?"

"I just wanted to see how you and yeonjun are doing"

"uhm.. well, it's nothing out of the norm. a bit dull but thats it. how are you do-"

"WOAHHHHHH slow down y/n. since when was your hot boyfriend a biT duLL?"

You tried to walk way

Gyu would start teasing him "Oh I get it, you want something cute, right? like me?"

hearing that your handsome boyfriend blocks you from walking away and starts doing the aegyo 

"LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT I CAN BE CUTE"

you couldn't hold it in anymore

you snap a pic and dash away laughing

"wait it's not serious? y/n come back here! YOU PRANKED ME? I ALMOST SHIT MYSELF I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR RAMEN!"

welp, i guess it was worth it

Beomgyu + Kai (sry for my laziness this is request was hard and i thought they are kind of the same for this)

you saw a youtube video and decided to play a joke on your boyfriend. you told the others and they were all in favor of it, especially Yeonjun, so you decided to do it with him.

"y/nahhhhhhh, yeonjun hyung's calling you."

you went to pick up the phone

"Hey y/n! how are you?"

"Meh, it's going fine i guess"

"you.. guess? did something happen with you and your lOvLY bAbY?"

"no- it's just- i think i want something.. new and.. more exciting..?"

"oh well, you see, i'm fun and fresh and i could b-"

Your baby would come rushing towards you with very worried eyes

"y-y/n am i not cute anymore? Do you not find me fun anymore?"

"y/n.. what.. what happened?"

this is it, they thought. i knew i was never good enough for them, they probably want someone more manly

this time, yeonjun will whisper to you to tell them it's a prank because he feels bad cause he knows his bandmates are a bit insecure 

"calm down baby, you're still cute as ever. it's a prank"

it takes them a couple seconds to register it

will ask for cuddles and a lot of confirmation that you loved them no matter what and would NEVER leave them

kinda breaks your heart

they will stick to you like gorilla glue for the rest of the day and whine at the tiniest bit of everything

Taehyun:

you saw a tiktok and decided to prank taehyun. you told the band and they thought it would be a lot of fun, especially Soobin, so you decided to do it with him.

"y/n? soobin hyung is calling you."

"hey y/n! how's it going?"

"hey soobs.."

"what's wrong? bad day?"

"no, life's just a bit.. bland."

"oh- is taehyun boring you out? we can get food if y-"

Then your man's head would turn towards you immediately. he would not say anything, but look you right in the eyes and cock his eyebrow waiting for you to say no and that your relationship with him is perfectly fine. he might look unbothered but he's scared that you won’t want him anymore. After all, it’s soobin asking you to get food and he’s just.. him

"uh.. yeah sure, when and wher-"

PANIKKKK

"What? no! did i do something wrong? explain why-"

"Tae, baby, it's a prank!"

the boi is shook

and he's running

he's about to jump you

"Y/N YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD REASON FOR DOING THIS"

a/n: thank you all so much for reading! if u enjoyed it, please follow or give this a like. i will work on the second request later since this was quite tiring <3

[mackenzielovee]

jealous - rafe cameron

a/n: hi! im kinda a mess right now and this story is a little all over the place so im sorry if you hate it lol but i really wanted to write something based on what i think Rafe would really be like as a bf so here it is! (not my pic)

Summary: Your boyfriend, Rafe Cameron, takes you to a party.

Warnings: swearing, drug use (cocaine), alcohol consumption, mentions of sex

Word Count: 2k

my writing

You can hear the music coming from the house before you see it. It's Friday night on Figure Eight, and you already know what that means. Accompanying your boyfriend to yet another party. You and Rafe have been together for almost a year, and some days, you really think you could rip his head off.

You hadn't even wanted to come tonight. When you voiced that to Rafe, however, he told you with a shrug of his shoulders that he'd just find someone else to dance with. Of course, it started a fight, and now, you're sitting in the back of Topper's Jeep beside Rafe, watching as he stares at his phone.

He isn't talking to you or looking at you, but apparently it's enough for him that he just knows exactly where you are and what you're doing. It's not enough for you, though. You reach over and grab his hand from his phone, looping yours through it. Rafe hesitates at first, wanting his hand back so he can continue what he had been doing. When he sees your expression, his eyes soften just a bit and he relaxes into his seat and your touch.

Topper parks the car and tells all of you to hop out, which you do with the help of Rafe. You appreciate that he doesn't let go of your hand, even though you know it's only because you all are approaching the party and he wants every single person to know that you are with him.

Rafe leans over and kisses your temple quickly, then brings his lips down to your ear.

"Stay close, yeah?" he whispers, his hand gripping yours even tighter.

You know the drill by now. Of course you're going to stay close, because Rafe never lets you get more than five feet away from him at these things. You envy the way Topper treats Sarah sometimes, even though you really think Topper's a tool and would never date him.

Once you all enter the house, Rafe moves his hand from yours to around your waist, leading you through the party and glaring at any guy that even looks over at you. You all make your way into the living room area and find seats on the couch, Rafe immediately pulling you down dangerously close to him.

"Yo, who got this shit?" Rafe points to the cocaine on the table in front of him, the rolled up dollar bill tempting him.

"Bought it from Barry this morning, bro," Kelce speaks up, grinning. Kelce is always trying to please Rafe.

"Always reading my mind, brother," Rafe smirks, and leads forward to take a line without hesitation.

When he comes back up from his line, he grins and daps up Kelce, telling him it's good shit. Then, without you even moving, he leans over and kisses you roughly. His tongue enters your mouth quickly, which you accept and grab onto his neck. He moans into your mouth and then pulls away, immediately going back to the coke.

You sigh and sit back, pulling your phone out. You know Rafe will be high as a kite when you two leave tonight, which only makes you hopeful that he won't turn into an absolute asshole once that stuff kicks in.

He turns back to you with a devious smirk on his face, and before you can even ask what he's doing, he's collecting a line up on your thigh.

"I don't want that shit on me, Rafe," you grumble, but you know better than to move. He might just kill you if you spilled that shit all over the couch and the floor.

"Relax, baby," he tells you, not looking up at you. He's too focused on perfecting his line.

His friends all watch as he snorts a line up your thigh, all of them silently wishing they could do the same. You try not to roll your eyes at him and end up catching the eye of some guy standing in the corner of the room. He's watching you both, curious why you're hanging out with a guy like that. You just shrug and roll your eyes only halfway, telling the guy you're over it.

You're not sure why you do it, you suppose it's the concerned look in his eye as he watches. Nobody ever looks at you like that anymore.

When Rafe glances back up to you and sees you looking at another guy, he instinctively wraps his arm around your waist.

"I don't like the way he's looking at you," Rafe tells you, "Come sit in my lap."

His voice is raspy and his jaw is clenched as he pulls you into his lap, kissing on your cheeks and your neck as he stares at the guy. After only a minute or so, the guy is intimidated enough that he ends up walking out of the living room completely.

"Did you know him?" Rafe asks you, his eyes trailing the boy out of the room.

"No, baby," you sigh.

He catches the frustration in your voice and looks up into your eyes, reaching up and tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear. This is the Rafe you love; the intimate, soft one. The one who isn't afraid to show you how he loves you.

"Are you having fun, princess?" he questions, his voice softer than it had been before.

You're not, but you know Rafe is enjoying himself and wants to stay and hang out. So, you take a deep breath and nod your head, giving him a convincing smile. Rafe smiles back and strokes his fingers against your cheek, then brings his hand down to your neck to pull you closer to him. He uses his nose to move your hair away from your ear so he can talk into it.

"I can't wait to get inside of you later, sweetheart," he whispers, feeling you instantly start to squirm against his lap.

His dirty talk always gets to you. The way his voice gets all raspy and needy just does things to your body that no other guy ever could.

"Is that right?" you tease him, bringing your lips dangerously close to him.

"Mhm," he hums against your lips, then closes the gap between the two of you.

He loves when you play with his hair, so you do. You can feel him getting excited underneath you, so you continue. One of his hands wraps around your throat and the other goes down to your ass, making you moan.

"Yo, Rafe, get a fucking room, man," Topper groans.

Rafe smirks against your lips and pulls away, gently setting you down beside him again. You try not to be mad that Topper interrupted the first ounce of attention your boyfriend has shown you tonight. Rafe leans forward to cut another line, so you stand and look around for a bathroom. When he doesn't notice you get up, you decide to just run really quick to one and then come back.

You walk from the living room into a kitchen, then see a little hallway that looks like it probably contains a bathroom. Once you get down the dimly lit hallway, you feel a hand on your arm, roughly yanking you around.

"What the fuck are you doing going off on your own?" Rafe snaps at you, his grip on your arm tightening. You can feel his nails digging into your flesh, making you wince.

"Rafe, you're hurting me," you tell him softly, gently trying to move your arm out of his grasp.

"You need to tell me when you have to go to the bathroom," he says harshly, then releases our arm.

"I'm sorry," you mumble, looking down at the floor. He brings his hand up and grabs your cheek, pulling your head up to look at him.

"C'mon," he tells you, "I'll take you."

He reaches down and takes your hand, leading you down the hallway and stopping at a random door. There's one guy waiting outside of it, who Rafe pats on the back once the two of you approach.

"Find another one," Rafe tells him.

The guy turns around and looks at Rafe like he's crazy, his eyes glancing over to you for a second. Protectively, Rafe's grip tightens around your hand.

"Dude, I've been waiting for a while. The line was long when I got here," the guy tells him, watching Rafe sarcastically smile.

"Interesting story, bro. Move along. Now," Rafe's voice is harsh.

The guy rolls his eyes and pushes past the two of you, deciding he doesn't have to go bad enough to put up with Rafe being an asshole. Rafe moves in front of the door, pulling you with him, and bangs on the door.

"Time's up," he yells, continuing to pound on the door.

The door opens up a second later, the guy Rafe had removed from the living room with his eyes earlier stepping out. Of course, you think.

"Ah, if it isn't the guy who likes to stare at my girl," Rafe grins devilishly.

"Rafe-" you start, wanting to tell him to let it go.

"Go inside, baby. I'll be right here when you're done."

He drags his hand toward the door, which in turn drags you toward the door. He lets go as soon as you're in the bathroom, then leans in and shuts the door for you. You can hear Rafe sizing up that poor guy outside, but you choose not to listen. You use the bathroom and then wash your hands quickly, trying your best to hurry so you can save that guy.

When you pull the door open again, Rafe is leaning against the doorframe with his phone in his hand. He looks up at you when you come out and doesn't speak, he just wraps his arm around your waist and leads you away, still looking at his phone.

When you get into the kitchen, Rafe suddenly pushes you up against the wall with no warning. He leans forward and grabs onto your cheeks, bringing his mouth up to yours roughly and kissing you. He quickly picks you up and wraps your legs around his waist, keeping you pinned up against the wall. You kiss him back, loving the way his hands feel all over your body. If you're honest, you're growing impatient for the night to end. You really just want Rafe to take you home and fuck you.

Rafe pulls away after a few minutes, gently setting you back down on the floor and taking his hand in yours again.

"You're mine, don't you forget it," he tells you, his voice demanding. You nod and reach up to wipe your lip, which seems to be covered in Rafe's saliva.

You watch Rafe's gaze as it lingers around the guy from the bathroom, who had just seen Rafe's explosive display of affection. You sigh, knowing that entire thing was just a way of Rafe to mark his territory.

"We're gonna go get Topper's keys," Rafe tells you, "I can't wait any longer. I need you, right now."

You give Rafe a real smile this time and nod your head, following him as he leads you through the crowd. After promising Topper you two wouldn't fuck in his Jeep, he hands Rafe his keys so you two can leave. Rafe tightens his grip around your hand as he pulls you back to the kitchen. He purposely walks past that guy again, muttering something in his ear as you two pass that you can't hear. When you look back, the guy looks disgusted.

When you two get back to Topper's Jeep, you're surprised when Rafe opens up the back door for you to get in.

"Why am I getting in the back?" you ask him.

He smirks, "We're getting in the back."

You look at the devious look on his face and figure out what he's up to, so you raise your eyebrow at him.

"You promised Topper we wouldn't fuck in his Jeep," you remind him.

Rafe rolls his eyes, "Yeah, and last month Topper promised me he wouldn't bend my nine iron when he beat up that Pogue on the golf course with my club. Trust me, baby. He owes me."

You sigh but do as you're told, watching Rafe's smirk only grow when you climb inside. No matter what that boy puts you through at these parties, the sex always makes up for it.

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

HER

I was rollin' around and in my mind it occurred. What if God was a HER?

Quick lil one-shot. Erik is onstage at a poetry night.

The words Urban Fever flashed neon above the familiar stage that Erik had seen countless nights through Open Mics and jazzy blues. Erik took the stage for the former, a first time poet created by the woes of heartbreak. He'd been through a lifetime in under a year.

A packed house sat before him as he adjusted the mic making it taller from the last poet who was 5'6 in her clunky platforms. Lights blinded him from the faces of the crowd and he squinted as the liquor in his system along with the vibe of the room made his mind run backward with reminiscing. His tongue was loose recounting his too brief time with.. Her.

"I swear I lost my train of thought when I passed her, fro godly like a pastor, skin like brown alabaster.

Astral choirs sing jagged edge cause shorty done walked right out of heaven a vision fulfledged."

NINE MONTHS BACK

"E, What you doing," Diamond's irritation cut into his sinful and lustful thoughts. For a minute he forgot he was in a relationship. He couldn't say he was in love but neither could most people. Diamond was down for him at least, he knew that for sure. "E!!"

"Hm?" His mind blanked so bad he missed the turn to take Diamond to work which meant he'd be late meeting his other bitch once he dropped her off. She sighed throwing her arms.

"Really E?" Diamond cut with a look that could kill. She was visibly sick of his shit but still there.. "You gone check this bitch out right in front of me when I'm in the car? Beside you?" She pushed the wheel causing the car to drift slightly into the left lane nearly hitting the car there before he righted it. "You that bold?"

He took a low look at her from the side of his eye as he kept driving. He'd passed the girl because Diamond made him gas the car so not to get hit.

"You trippin."

"Don't do that," she groaned. "Don't LIE. You want the bitch, go get the bitch." Impulsively she grabbed for the wheel again but he blocked her. "Let me out."

"You extra right now, chill out."

"Don't tell me to chill," she grit pushing the side of his head. He gave her another side eye as he contemplated pulling over.

"Just let me turn around.. Okay?"

She groaned as her head hit back on the headrest. "I don't know why I fuck with you, you ain't shit, never gonna be shit, make me feel like shit over your shit. It's just shit."

"So leave then Diamond! I don't need to hear that shit."

"I really should.. I'm not dumb, I know you cheating! I don't know why I stay with you when I know better."

"You know why."

Eight thick inches explained exactly why. He purposely missed the next turn hoping to find that girl walking again before she disappeared.

"I swear to-," she jumped suddenly, "LET ME OUT. I'M DONE, LET ME OUT!"

"Aye, chill. I'm a get you to work."

"NO. FUCK YOU," she pointed popping her door open before the car could make a full stop. He didn't stop and she either had to roll out or shut the door. She slammed it. She was finna be late as hell.. Meanwhile he was circling the area tryna go back to find that mystery woman he'd spotted before. Diamond wasn't dumb. She was shaking with anger, talking to herself.

The tall drink of hot chocolate with the god tier afro stood gracefully at the crosswalk looking like she'd flewn right out of heaven and into Stockton. Erik didn't know what the hell he was thinking.. he wasn't.. but he was damn near leaning on Diamond while steering the car closer to the sidewalk, rolling at a crawl to match this new woman's pace as his current sat fuming in the seat, shoving him off of her.

This new woman was divine. There were diamonds dusted in her skin like he'd never seen on a woman who wasn't on a TV screen. When she walked down the sidewalk, the world became chopped and screwed. That's how fixated he was. Not even Diamond slapping at him or shoving him could break his focus on that woman and her walk as he cruised beside her as though the surrounding traffic didn't exist.

"LET ME OUT," Diamond yelled smacking his face. She'd been trying the break the passenger door handle.. like he wouldn't make her pay for it. He finally stopped the car to let her noisy ass walk.

"Bye," he muttered pulling off to catch up with the fro'd up goddess.

"DON'T TALK TO HIM, HE'S TRASH," Diamond yelled from afar, her voice carrying faster than she could physically catch up. Erik wasn't bothered or embarrassed.

He had to think carefully of what to say. How could he impress this girl without her thinking he was a creep? Following her probably wasn't helping. Luckily she dropped something. It looked like money. Seizing his opportunity, he quickly parked in a no parking zone and dashed to snatch up what he discovered to be a twenty dollar bill.

"AYE.." he called ahead to no avail. He had to jog to catch up and when he reached her side, he noticed she had in earbuds. He waved for her attention and she fixed her eyes cautiously. Her almond eyes lined in jet black were just as black. She gritted on him hard. Even her disgusted face attracted him. She turned her nose up until she saw the twenty in his hand folded the same way the one in her pocket had been. He had her. "You dropped this.."

His hand smoothly ghosted hers as she took it. She felt like velvet to the touch.

"Thanks.."

She gave him a second look and he bit his lip as he met her eyes wondering how to make his next move.

"Ok.. so that's it?"

Her question caught him off guard.

"You do all that, follow me for damn near three blocks and now you've got nothing to say? That was anticlimactic."

Erik's jaw dropped slightly before he caught it.

"Wanna ride?"

She turned her nose up and he presented his key fob watching her deliberate on whether or not to trust him.

"Might as well.. before you get towed. Goofy ass," she mumbled with humor. There was something about her voice that was familiar and calming, the deep timbre. He rushed to retrieve the car. His face said it all as he opened the car door for her. It wasn't something he'd been in a habit of doing.

"Why thank you," she smirked.

"Of course... Why walk when you can be chauffeured," he commented when he was in.

"I like my woman black as the heart of an Aryan. Black as the back of a diabetic's neck. Black as coffee with no cream. My girl looks like 2 AM in a blackout."

Erik glanced wistfully to his memories ignorant to the soulful groans, snaps, and hums from the crowd. Of course his woman was no more, but he carried her still regardless..

Erik was stuck. He couldn't be away from his peace especially in the quiet moments when neither of them had anywhere they'd rather be than side by side doing whatever. Nail shop? He was in the pedicure massage chair right beside her with a drink and his feet up. Bank? They'd hit the BB&T and the SunTrust in one trip. They paid bills together.

"E, hand me my debit."

"You tryna pay it?"

"Yeah, I gotta pay today."

"I already did that."

"You paid mine?"

She seemed pleasantly shocked which was what Erik wanted.. to make her happy. Especially considering the pushback she got for their relationship. There were a lot of hating ass bitches.

"I heard you talked to Bianca.." He watched for any sign that she was omitting details to spare him. He didn't need to be spared. She took a deep breath and he knew without her speaking that some choice words had been exchanged. Afterall, he was playing Bianca with a whole girlfriend before leaving them both for this new flame. Bianca hadn't reacted well when she found out. "What she say," he inquired with faux calm. He had every intention of cussing out all his exes.. every one of them who had a problem with him moving on. It was the side effect of dating crazy bitches. They were too passionate. They couldn't just let shit rock, they had to harass him and his girl.

"I ain't worried about her, she can try me if she wants.. I'll knock her ass out that's for sure."

"Aight then," Erik smirked. He still planned to say something. "What she say though," he pressed.

"Same shit. She can't comment on anything but my skin because she knows I look better then her."

Erik was disappointed every time he thought of the fact that he'd unknowingly fucked a self hating colorist. He hadn't seen it before but now that he was serious about this new girl, true colors were showing.. and it wasn't just Bianca.

In a moment of fuck it after a sweaty quickie in the post office parking lot, Erik uploaded a chest-up pic of him and his cutie glowing from within with smiles white enough to rival the purest coke. She clung to him, laughing from the gut with crinkled eyes about something they'd both previously witnessed and he was grinning full force. That was the shot. Very pure. It'd brought him joy just looking at it, but others ain't feel what he felt and they had words about it. He cut off a childhood friend over a conversation where the guy'd said something casually insulting.

"How you ain't mean it when it came outta your mouth," Erik challenged. His friend was a damn coon.

Even worse was witnessing the treatment of her when it wasn't immediately clear they were together. She stood firm and held her own with class and dignity but it was work she didn't deserve to have to do. He couldn't be there for it all and even before he'd entered her life these problems were there.. but still..

"You know you perfect?" Erik asked this question at least once every other day to uplift his woman.

"Erik I need you to pick me up from work today," she said one day and when he asked why, she stated that her tire was flat. There was a nail in it. He sighed rubbing roughly through the fuzzy growout at the base of his locs. It had Evil Ex written all over it.

"I'll take take of it," he ensured. "I'll meet you for lunch too, wait for me."

His dedication knew no bounds. His loyalty had never before existed. His feelings for this woman were like nothing he'd ever felt.

Five months in.. he felt the same way. He'd never lived with a woman.. He'd never been faithful in his life, but then he'd never been in love.

Eight months.. she was still perfection through the good and bad and he'd do anything. He saw it all. The attitude, the dookie braids, the subtle insecurities, the slight messiness around the house, the flaws.. and all he could think of was that... he had his eye on a ring.. one with diamonds that matched the diamonds he saw in her soft rich deep brown skin.

"I'm casting all my game hoping she bite. Told her ass: You got that air that I like. Derriere sky high bite down I like to hit it from the bike. She say she love when daddy cum and fill it up just right."

The ring was still in Erik's pocket. It flipped absentmindedly through his fingers as he spoke. Unfortunately she'd never gotten it.

26 DAYS PRIOR

Erik gave backshots through the hour of 5 PM. Both he and his girl had arrived home around the same time and it was on sight.

"Hey.. Bae.. Get up and fix me something to eat," he whispered in her ear as she was laid out and half asleep. He was laid out as well with little energy after emptying himself of everything. He nudged her and she groaned but sat up.

"You can't fix it? I don't wanna move," she snickered.

"Pleaaaase," he begged watching her give in as she stretched. He smacked her ass as she rose. Then he rolled over and closed his eyes, hungry but ready to sleep. He inhaled her fresh scent left over on the pillow. It reminded him of oceans.

The doorbell rang.

He figured it was a package, something else she'd ordered. The closet was full. He drifted off.

When a half hour passed he opened his eyes and she still hadn't returned, she had to be cooking something. The thought hit him to surprise her in the kitchen by taking her as she cooked. It would be sexy..

When he walked out to the kitchen, he immediately entered a state of shock. Not only was she not cooking or coming back.. She had left a note that amounted to this:

Erik.. I'm leaving you for my ex.

Apparently her ex had showed which meant they'd been in contact... she even let him in.

Turned out he'd been a rebound all along.

"I should've known better..," Erik's head dropped in dark humor as his story came to a close. "When a goddess says her name is Karma that means misery. Better run if you got a history. I guess if she's God then God's testing me. Cuz she sure left with the best of me."

@soufcakmistress @itsiesha @ju5tp34chy @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @blackpantherimagines @blackpinup22 @muse-of-mbaku @goddessofthundathighs @panthergoddessbast @thadelightfulone @misspooh @marvelmaree @youreadthatright @forbeautyandlife @theunsweetenedtruth @bidibidibombaclaat @myboyfriendgiriboy @dameshaemonique @hidden-treasures21 @mysidefanting @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @syndrlla97 @winteroflife @thotyana-in-this-hoe   @texasbama @gingerylimonte @princessstevens   @magic-madness-heavensin @wawakanda-btch @wakanda-inspired @blackgirloneshots @thegucciwaffle @thiccdaddy-mbaku @purplehairgawdess @indigoxsummers   @dynastylnoire @iamrheaspeaks @blowmymbackout @they-call-me-le @theblulife @raysunshine78 @sheisexcellent-blog

[zephycluster]

Precolonial HWS SEA Rant Post, feel free to ignore

If you're still reading, then you're probably looking for evidence or some juicy tidbits to throw back at me or to try and find dirt to cancel me, like typical Tumblr/Twitter. Go ahead, I don't really care.

First off, let me just say that If you like Precolonial South-East Asia AUs, feel free to keep enjoying them. I will respectfully support your passions from afar. This post is just to explain why I don't like it, especially the way they keep insisting/portraying PH in it.

Still here? Then let me begin.

Since the recent confirmation that the ASEAN Six Majors (Can't really say ASEAN 10 atm since it's still missing some people) Were completed and the Ma-Phil-Indo Trio was included, there has been a large surge in 'Precolonial' fanarts and portrayals of South East Asians, those three especially.

Even long, long before, circa 2010's ish, a rather well-known fan universe known as 'Maaf' dealt with their story and how their Author thought their intertwined histories went. Written by (my best guesstimate) an Indonesian writer who wants to explore the old, SEA bond.

When I first stumbled across Maaf (I was in Highschool at the time, around age 16-ish), I took a casual interest in it and tried to read it through. But, I will wholeheartedly admit that at the time, Pre-Colonial cultures of South-East Asia in general, let alone Philippine, did not really interest me that much. The focus (I think) was mostly on Indonesia, a country I didn't really know back then, and the liberal use of 'ancient' names and artwork just made it feel like an entirely Original Work (that needed a degree in History to really appreciate) and not something from Hetalia. I also completely disagreed with what I could gather was the story's portrayal of PH but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Do I hate 'Maaf'? No, I don't hate it. Do I wish I never came across it or that it didn't exist? Of course not. Just because I didn't enjoy it or appreciate it that well doesn't mean I wish any ill toward it, its fans, or its creator.

Fast forward to April 2021, the long awaited inclusion of South East Asia to the canon Hetalia verse. I was happy, the other fans were happy, all was good.

Then started the questionable fanarts, fan theories and fan pairings.

Especially the expansion of Precolonial! PH.

Let's go back to Maaf for one moment. From what I understood of Maaf, PH there was a character who once was like all the other South East Asian cultures, trading with them, all around being a nice family.

But all that changed when the Spaniards attacked, so cry the precolonial buffs. They destroyed everything, ransacked and marginalized the tribes, erased everything that PH was!

Did that happen? ABSOLUTELY. The Spaniards had this vision in mind that they must spread Christianity to all of the 'savage, unchristian heathens' of their realm. :V /s

But back up a second, back to PH's portrayal in Maaf. The way she (yeah, she) was portrayed there was that she was slowly losing her memories of being a 'true' South East Asian and grew more and more westernized in the process, like some sort of Culture-specific Alzheimer's or something.

Firstly, that is seriously depressing, and secondly, I just really don't see that happening.

Here's why.

Point 1: Even before Colonial Masters, Filipinos as a people cannot agree on anything.

I'll just begin this segment with a Philippine proverb that outlines what Filipinos call 'Crab Mentality' or 'Crab Bucket Mentality'.

"You don't need a lid for a container when you're keeping multiple crabs. If you keep at least two crabs together, they will just pull each other down instead of helping each other up."

I don't know how it goes with Indonesian or Malaysian history class, but what I know of my homeland, both pre- and post-colonial history, we were never really 'united' or 'together' in the sense that Indonesia and Malaysia were (from what I assume).

Let me pull up a somewhat related question on r/AskHistorians.

The reason I brought this up as it shows the reasons why, in my opinion, a single entity that is 'Precolonial Philippines-tan' is an impossibility.

The answers are long and would extend this already long post to stupid proportions, so I'll just quote relevant sentences. The link is here for those that wanna deep-dive into the answer.

"All this to say that there wasn't a name used for the entire Philippine islands before the Philippines that people now would agree to. An interesting comparison would be the Holy Roman Empire, which might also be characterized as disparate politico-geographic groups of relatively small size that had a history of relations between each other, but one thing they had that the Philippines did not was a common language, or at least a family of mostly mutually intelligible languages, so that the name Deutschland or Germany isn't terribly offensive to anyone. If you called the Philippines the 'Lupang-Tagalog' or even 'Lupang-Tao' the other ethnic groups would protest."

For those in need of translation, 'Lupang Tagalog' means 'Land of the Tagalogs' and 'Lupang Tao' means 'Land of People', specifically. The first one is already exclusive and offensive, as the Tagalog peoples are but one of many ethnicities here.

And for the 'Lupang Tagalog' suggestion specifically, it's even more offensive as they are the majority ethnicity (not by much, just around 28%) From this chart from Geography Now! It would basically be alienating everyone else in the 72% remainder that isn't 'Tagalog'.

And even 'Lupang Tao', the most generic name in a local language you can think of, would be met with contempt because the name itself is in the Tagalog language.

Just travelling between two individual island groups today would sometimes require a translator because the words can change very rapidly and very drastically. Here's a sample of some differences coming from a friend living in Visayas (in Red) vs. the words I know living in Luzon (In blue).

Ate vs. Manang = Older Sister

Ibon vs. Pispis = Bird

Tumawa vs. Kadlaw = To laugh

Takot vs. Hadlok = Fear

Kain vs. Kaon = To eat

Ngayon vs. Subong = Now, at this point in time

Iyak vs. Hibi/Gibi = to cry

Talampakan vs. Tiil = Foot (in Tagalog, the word retains its 'body part AND unit of measurement' meaning)

Tulog vs. Tuyo = to sleep (Tuyo in Tagalog is either a dried salted fish or 'to dry')

The kicker is that just like Tagalog is just one of many languages here, so too is the language my friend speaks. Ask an entirely new person, like someone from Mindanao, they'll probably have an entirely new set of words.

It's not just Luzon vs. Visayas vs. Mindanao, either. Here's a map listing some of the ethnic groups here.

Even the way they're written differs from location to location.

While we're on the subject of Island divisions, a casual skim across Twitter and Tumblr has shown that their Precolonial PH has been one of the following ancient civilizations: Tondo, Butuan, Sugbu, Namayan. There may have been others but that was what I have found.

Notice how even today, the posters of Precolonial PH can't seem to agree on what he's supposed to be? With Indonesia it's either Majapahit or Srivijaya and Malaysia it's usually Malacca iirc.

What is the big deal? Well, let's go back to the Ask Historians post. "Why didn't the Philippines ever change its name to remove the colonial mark that being named after a Spanish King has?" The answer: "If you suggested something dating to precolonial times, the other ethnic groups would protest."

Since we're on a roll with maps, let me bring this up.

As you can see, the precolonial PH posts have a reason to not be able to agree on one thing, as there is a LOT of options. Do you also see how THAT list is also split up?

It's split up into those aligned with China (Sinified), aligned with India (Indianized), aligned with the Middle East (Islamicized), and no alignment (Animist). Now, let's go back to the main suggestions for which Kingdom/Polity/Civilization/whatever Modern Philippines used to be.

If the Filipino peoples' couldn't agree on something as simple as WHAT TO CALL THE LAND THEY'RE LIVING ON, what more a living, breathing, walking, talking entity that is supposed to be a beacon of all of their 'unified' culture? ESPECIALLY if that entity used to be a currently existing Kingdom/Polity/Rajahnate/Sultanate/whatever.

Tondo? "Of course, always the damn Tagalogs. Tagalog this, Tagalog that. First the capital city, then the language,* THE REST OF US EXIST, YOU KNOW! What about us in Visayas? Mindanao?"

*The national language known as 'Filipino' is just standardized Tagalog*

Butuan? "Wait, you want Butuan to represent us? They're they only Indian-aligned city in the Islam-majority Mindanao! They're not even that many of them! I'm not gonna change my religion!"

Sugbu, the other name for the Rajahnate of Cebu on the map? Lemme bring back my Visayan friend again. According to her, she hails from the Hiligaynon part of Visayas.

"Sure :v and the other islands are what?

Chopped liver?

Not to mention the language and writing barrier helloooo"

And Namayan? Well. I'll let this pic speak for itself.

To summarize, no matter who you pick as Modern PH's previous identity, it will not end well nor be accepted by the other Kingdoms at the time.

"So where does that leave Modern PH, he had to have been ONE of them, right?"

Well, not really. He doesn't HAVE to be one of the Ancient Kingdoms that lasted till the modern day. I mean, predecessor representatives exist in Hetalia canon, after all. Like Modern Greece is a different character from Ancient Greece, Ancient Egypt and Modern Egypt, heck even England and his brothers have a canon mother that was the rep before them.

Or you could even use the same logic that Germany does, in that each specific region has/had its own representative and that Modern!PH is just the 'mediator' between them (cause gawd does PH need one). There could be a Tondo, a Namayan, a Butuan, and a Sugbu, all arguing and this Proto-PH is just trying to make headway in making them all satisfied.

But, even after all this, there is another reason why I personally don't subscribe to the 'Precolonial PH' idea, and by tangential extension, the Indo x Phil pairing.

Point 2: Even without intending to, Precolonial Indo x Phil just comes off as patronizing

This second point is just ENTIRELY personal preference and barely has any facts to back it up.

Again, if you like the pairing and disagree with me, You do you. I will respectfully support you and your passions from a distance.

But for me, Indo being Phil's seme/bae/boyfriend and consistently bringing up precolonial times just comes off as patronizing.

Just one more time, I'd like to point out that I am NOT bashing Indonesia, its people or the subscribers of Indo x Phil. This is just how the pairing feels to ME specifically.

The way I see it, Indo x Phil as a pairing, especially if it extends back into precolonial times, reads the same way as a long-since married couple where the husband/wife CONSTANTLY brings up that ONE outing you had together, or that ONE prom night where you kissed while dancing, even it happened like 30 some-odd years ago and so much more happened since then.

Even in a platonic sense, It reads like two besties where one ALWAYS mentions stuff like 'Yeah but you looked so much cooler back in High School' or 'Back in Grade School you would've known that', or 'Remember back in Pre-school we did X? How could you forget that?'

How does one respond to the notion that no matter what you do now, it will never compare to a past you've already forgotten or barely remember? That the best version of 'you' is already long gone?

"That's because the westerners made you forget your culture! You gotta take it back!"

While it is true, yes, as a collective we barely remember the Kingdom that commissioned the Laguna Copperplate, or created the Banaue Rice Terraces, or created the millennia old bonds that we still share with Indonesia and Malaysia.

But to keep pushing the precolonial identity would be to neglect and cast aside the one REAL binding belief and culture that spans the entirety of these islands we call the Philippines.

We take on all the bad stuff that happens to us, conquer it, and make it our own. Be it natural disasters, foreign powers, or negative stereotypical mentalities.

Yes, we've forgotten the ancient kingdoms of old and are just now digging through the closet for those remnants of the past. Yes, the colonizers imposed that on us, and made us forget. But in the process we've also taken everything that they left behind, everything that they threw at us, and created something that can only come from us.

The lanterns that the Spaniards used to light the way to the morning masses they made us attend became our globally known symbol of Christmas. The junked vehicles that the Americans left behind in World War 2 are now rolling works of art that announce themselves loud and proud on the streets (for better or for worse). The iced dessert recipe that the Japanese forced us to learn while they were occupying the country is now so distinct and famous it is synonymous with us, and is so delicious even Italy has taken notice.

Even after all this? Even after all the 425-ish years total we have been under a foreign power, with all the progress we've made as a country, a people, and a nation, you would still imply our fragmented, jigsaw puzzle state of being in the past was better just because it was pure 'South East Asian' like everyone else?

We might not be as well put-together as Indonesia or Malaysia, but we made this melting pot of angry, leg-pulling, dogpiling, Native, Mestizo, Chinoy, and Fil-Am crabs OURS, damnit!

It's now 4:30 AM and I have work in 5 or so hours. I'll be going to sleep now.