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tj-crochets · 5 months

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Okay I have had enough salt to be probably medically inadvisable for people without my particular health issues and am feeling moderately better*! I also have another question: How do you choose a mattress when you are buying one? I think I've only ever had hand-me-down mattresses from my siblings or mattresses my parents bought when I was little (idk, I just know I was uninvolved in the obtaining), and I am thinking a new mattress might help my Slept Wrong Injuries be at least less bad, if not stop them entirely, but idk how to choose one. My dad said I'd know when I laid on the mattress but my current mattress doesn't feel bad, but clearly is? So idk that I'll be able to tell *back to my usual "muscle issue flareup" level instead of "maybe it's worth seeing how bad muscle relaxers make my blood pressure" level lol

#the person behind the yarn #I am probably sitting at...about 7000mg of salt so far today? 6 or 7k #no not salt. sodium.#so at least 15 grams of salt #and I'm aiming for probably at least 1000mg more of sodium before I sleep #I am also getting other electrolytes just in much more reasonable quantities lol #salt wasting syndrome! it sneaks up on ya!#anyway mattresses: how to choose #other than not one of those fiberglass ones #for anyone new here wondering what the heck I meant about muscle relaxers and blood pressure #I am prone to very very low blood pressure. I take a few meds (including salt) for it #but ANYTHING that can cause low blood pressure WILL cause low blood pressure for me #far past the point it's supposed to lower blood pressure #including beta blockers! yoga! weighted blankets!#benadryl does lower my blood pressure too but I only take it when my allergies are raising my blood pressure #so it kinda cancels out? otherwise I could not take the benadryl #so muscle relaxers are probably a Bad Idea for me

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papermonkeyism · 9 months

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sorry for being active

logical... i think I'm annoying you too much /especially with my bad English/, and if you don't want to answer, that'll be fine ^^` in any case, thanks for your attention! i'm probably overthinking this, but...

the last question was, what is Crippled (and the others for that matter) afraid of? I understand that all the hounds lived in a pretty terrible place, but what about simple, almost human things like darkness and loneliness? Surama seems quite fearless to me, despite her dislike of the dark, unlike her brother (okay, he's just quite active), and Iacar is reliving the past. of course, they worry about each other, I think, but... hey, admit it, who is afraid of thunderstorms? :)

sorrysorrysorry ^^`

English isn't my first language either (terveisiä Suomesta). It's just that I'm wary.

I do not currently live in a creative enough environment nor life situation where I can reasonably sacrifice several days out of my week into such a demanding creative work, alone, without burning out.

And every time I so much as casually mention Wurr online, there's usually at least one person who'll come and let me know how tragic it is that I've "decided" to "abandon" my "great story and characters". (Or, in one case, how irrelevant and pathetic I am as a failure of a person. Fuck that one, though.)

Like, I had a bit of a nervous breakdown because of health and livelihood issues back in last spring that I'm still occasionally dealing with (one's systolic blood pressure is definetely not supposed to stay over 190 for long), and I just don't want to be dealing with the people sending me obituaries for my comic on top of that right now.

Like, maybe, maybe, if I one day move closer to Tampere to have my Brainstorm Buddy in my reach regularly again. I miss having creative company.

But right now? I'm just tired.

#wurr #also. like. geesh I'm going to have to figure out some rewrites to parts of the comic's story if I want to ever make a satisfactory job #at finishing it #like nothing major but I started the comic over 16 years ago #i was basically a teen back then #and there are parts of writing that 'grew up on 90s cartoons'-teen me thought were just how stories were made #that I didn't question back then but have definetely very much grown out of as a 36 years old adult person #like... I'd need to un-foreshadow something I already foreshadowed but never felt actually interested in myself #(except you can't un-draw something you've already drawn so far back so I'd have to figure out some kind of twist to make that foreshadowing #feel earned and fitting even if I take away the thing being foreshadowed and make it into something else)#but right now I want to not spend my time angsting about the comic I haven't had the mental energy to work on for few years #and focus on things that make me happy and don't actively make me feel bad #i have a full time day job now anyway #I'm not drawing any kind of comic untill my life is on firm ground again #the meds and the income are helping but it'll take time to even out after the two years of joblessness and mental health strain

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fridayyy-13th · 1 month

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wow. not even a week into college and i'm already behind on work. fucking lovely.

#friday chats #friday vs post-secondary school #tw vent #(in the following tags)#i am immeasurably stressed right now #i need to talk to my doctor about getting a booster to go along w/my adhd meds #bc this has been a problem for a while but i think it's about to come to a head #and i'm very scared for when that happens #maybe also talk to my school's disability services #bc Good Fucking God i'm already overwhelmed #it's 11:56. should i just go to bed? i have so many things left to do #when do i even have the time to go to disability services. and i've heard a lot of schools' processes w/that are slow and overcomplicated #fuck. fuck fuck fuckity fuck.#i think i'm spiraling #i'm worried that if i don't get a degree i won't be able to find a nice enough job to support myself independent of my family #and i don't want to be stuck with them forever #i really really don't #maybe i can talk to disability services sometime tomorrow morning. see what they can do #i think there's mental health services too. i hope they're decent #i just feel really bad right now. and it's only week one.#it feels like time's moving too fast but too slow at the same time #classes take forever but my free time zips by and runs out way too quick #and when it's gone i've completed maybe one or two things. out of several. if any at all.#i just don't know what to do. it's only been three days.#maybe i can drop a class; i think i'm taking enough to still be considered a full-time student with one less thing on my plate #i hope so #fucking damn it #how do people do this??? for multiple years????#and i feel selfish for saying this but i hope if y'all see this post you'll interact with it somehow. even just a like.#i want to know someone hears me

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running-in-the-dark · 8 months

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it's so funny when I rewatch a show but with a new/different/additional crush. like I'm rewatching the librarians with my partner right now and it just feels soo different lol

#anyway. Jenkins 😍#on a completely unrelated note...#I need to learn more about pocket squares and ties.#because it's already driving me insane when they don't go together on night court but it's much worse on the librarians where I can actually #like. see stuff lol #I don't mean 'oh no the colour isn't an exact match'. more like 'these patterns and/or colours look fucking bad together'#but maybe there's like. reasons for that. rules that my silly little brain isn't smart enough to figure out #because all I'm basing that on is. my eyes and my opinion lol #anyway he's so baby. 🥰 and I definitely like him better now. very very huggable.#he takes that suit jacket off and I'm like 🥵#man I feel so weird about this :') but I must talk about it anyway or I will never get over that :)#like it just feels like. ohh this is weird I'm not supposed to think he's hot because he's old 😬 but he just. is 🤷#anyway touching his ears would fix me man it totally would #*with my mouth also. but whatever it's cool I'm not thinking about that #no haha why would I be thinking about it that :)#or when he sits on that table sometimes and I totally don't think about how I absolutely need to sit in his lap :)#haha noo I'm not thinking about fucking him at all who even brought that up #anyway i am very tired & have already taken my sleep meds so I am extra stupid rn :) and the dumb thoughts just keep coming out

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front-facing-pokemon · 1 year

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#dustox #hi! if you're coming from the cascoon post's tags‚ you already know what's up. i just woke up and i need to take my meds but i have yet to #and i have to go to work in an hour and a half. yippeeee! anyway. i think there was a shadow dustox in pkmn colosseum?#either that or i remember it super vividly bc one of the guys in pyrite town had one. which i think might (also?) be the case #i remember pretty much every pokémon those guys in pyrite town had. bc as a kid i always went back to battle them #i would always go back to check to see if they were done fighting me. and when they wanted to fight me again i would always be surprised #every time. as a kid. i thought eventually they'd stop or something i didn't even know that i was effectively just grinding #but also i was really bad at catching shadow pokémon bc i didn't know anything about type matchups. i thought the whole #not very effective and supereffective things were just totally random. so i always thought it was so funny when it said #it's not very effective… a critical hit!! because i thought that made no sense. because i didn't know what the fuck it meant #luckily‚ now i do. my brain is very filled with pokémon knowledge………#i'm gonna get off my tag-soapbox and take some meds. y'all remember to take yours‚ too‚ now

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watchyourdigits · 1 month

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I am re-reading Night Letter and am realizing I didn't do nearly enough research into scar tissue as I should have 💀 I spent hours researching lavender marriages and U.S. Army dog tags from the 1950s (as well as ranks and dismissals and such) instead of researching one of the defining characteristics of the main character, aka his severe facial scarring.

Anyway here I am retconning his scars - they are hypertrophic NOT keloid. That is entirely on me because I didn't know what the fuck the term was for it and assumed that if they were raised then they HAD to be keloids. I'm so sorry for this. Like deeply.

For those who don't know the difference, I don't recommend looking up pics unless you're okay with seeing mild medical g*re. Brief description of the aforementioned scar types:

Keloid: raised, shiny, firm & rubbery in texture with no distinct pattern. Caused by an excess of collagen deposits during the healing process. These scars invasively extend PAST the area of the original wound and do not regress over time. Hard to treat. Can form over months to years after an injury. More common in black folks and other melanated people who have a family history of keloid scarring.

Hypertrophic: raised, but not to the degree of keloids, and can also be different colors and usually have a distinct wavy pattern due to collagen deposits. Also caused by an excess of collagen, but not to the extent of keloids. These scars do NOT extend past the area of the original wound, typically do not recur, and CAN regress over time. Typically appear within a month of two of an injury and do not continue to progress (typically begin to regress actually).

I'm attaching an image below the cut comparing the two.

Left is keloid, right is hypertrophic. You'll see the difference. It's easy to confuse them because they're similar in depiction, but this is a good visual example of exactly HOW they are different. Raised scars =/= keloids!!! Do NOT be a fool like me!!!!

#fic: night letter #scars //#scar //#regg rambles #i'm gonna rewrite night letter at some point. it's not abandoned though #it's just been so long since an update that i'm rereading it and cringing heavily. many clarity edits are needed methinks #and also just minor tweaks i didn't notice the first time around (minimal grammar tweaks #mostly it's all just formatting bc copy pasting italics into AO3 puts a space after the italicized word #which looks horrible when theres punctuation after it!!)#okay so maybe not a REWRITE. just a re-edit. not much i'd REALLY change so far aside from the clarity stuff.#like the clarity in the deacon trash can scene also belongs in the trash alongside deacon himself #there was no good indication that frankie had heard something and that danse was playing along by continuing their convo #it was all an unspoken exchange. but there was also no moment of realization outside of the dialogue.#this is all bc i overexplain everything and was trying to not do that as much #and just left out any mention of danse realizing frankie is hearing something & trusting him implicitly even tho they're actively arguing #it was sooooo good in my head like fuck. the execution was so bad i am cryin at my desk rn #like they're having a BITTER FIGHT. and danse is VERY UPSET.#but the moment he notices frankie being weird. he works with him even though he's mad and upset and everything. it's so delicious in my mind #anyway sorry i didn't take my meds today and i am at work and can't think straight #regg writes

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anotherdayforchaosfay · 10 months

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I folded laundry fresh outta the dryer tonight!!! I had folded a couple of big shirts for myself, but then got into A Zone because ADHD. If I walked away or sat down, the folding wouldn't happen. Seeing as I just had dinner and won't be able to lay down comfortably*, I opted for just folding laundry.

I FOLDED LAUNDRY!!!

Two big loads, another in the dryer, and one more that needs drying.

My ADHD let me fold laundry. Just...wow. Folks with ADHD will know how amazing this is.

Now it's late, and I get up early**, so time for sleep. I hope I can fold the last loads tomorrow. That would be fucking impressive.

#chaosfay talks #*I have GERD and can't take meds for it. the meds do something that makes my seizure medicine not work. the seizure med #comes out more or less looking the same as it did when i took the med. this means my body wasn't doing anything with the pills. i was #basically getting no seizure meds at all. i was on the GERD med for a week before i said fuck this i don't wanna die. any other med that #treats it will likely have the same effect. plus the diarrhea was very unpleasant. i trained myself to sleep on my left side and back to #keep the heartburn from happening and fucking with my asthma. if you have heartburn and find yourself coughing a lot #especially when you lay down the coughing is caused by your stomach acid getting into your trachea/windpipe. this is very bad.#laying on the left pinches the stomach closed. avoid laying on your right especially if you have a full belly. i've found it also helps to #go for a walk to do some upright physical activity to help with digestion and reduce trapped gas. if my heartburn is especially bad i drink #sodium bicarbonate in water (recipe is on the baking soda box) and my dr gave me the okay for it. it's basically baking soda poured into #vinegar but less violent and consideable burping. never do this with a full stomach because it can really fuck you up.#**i accidentally took my seizure med in the morning because i kept reminding myself to take my vitamins and my brain went into #autopilot and i grabbed the wrong med. rather than correct this i opted to get up early. my med requires i have food in my belly and #that means i must eat. sooooo i get up at around 8AM. i'm starting ADHD med soon (#my insurance refused to cover the first med my dr)#my adhd med has to be taken in thr morning and again at mid-day so again i need to get up early. my dr suggested i have nothing to eat #because citric acid/vitamin c cancels out adhd meds. so empty belly for an hour before and an hour after. 8AM and then around noon.

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tj-crochets · 7 months

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No crafting update today because I spent all my spoons checking out a local(ish) wildlife reservation/hiking place, which was awesome! I could not explore the whole place, and it is very much "only wheelchair friendly if the person pushing my wheelchair is capable of holding my entire weight against a steep slope and immediately pushing the chair up another only partially paved steep slope", but I walked the whole time*! I got to hear wolves howling through the forest and it is a whole hell of a lot eerier to hear on a foggy day in a winter forest than it was the only other time I've heard it, which was a very bright sunny day in an amphitheater at a zoo where one wolf howled alone on stage. There were crows cawing and wolves howling and it was absolutely magnificent and suddenly a whole lot of things from various fantasy novels I read as a kid hit very different. Like, I get why hearing the wolves howl in the night would be alarming now! *we did bring my rollator/transport chair in the car, and the backup plan was that my dad or my brother would go get it and push me back to the car if I needed help

#the person behind the yarn #there were other animals and educational stuff but dang those howling wolves were something else #what can I say I grew up in a city with like zero wildlife that was bigger than lizards #well okay there were crows and seagulls and pigeons but I lived so far into a city there weren't even coyotes!#when I got a little older I did move somewhere with more wildlife (including but not limited to coyotes) but no wolves #my physical stamina is absolutely terrible at the moment because of the anemia and POTS #but the meds I am on are working pretty well!#I mean. they don't make me able bodied but they mean that my heart rate might be elevated but my blood pressure is okay #like my heart rate might be in the 130s but I'm not going to pass out! which is a huuuuge improvement!#it was also good to find out that the rest of my muscles are absolutely fine with an hourish long walk across uneven terrain #like. my heart was not so cool with it but the rest of my body was fine! and that's cool!#uphill slopes are still my nemesis and today was not a good heart day so I had to take very small steps #like half the length of my foot at a time #but it was a bad heart day and I COULD walk up slopes!!!

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theinfinitedivides · 9 months

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today on our monthly episode of my uterus is trying to f*cking kill me: it nearly succeeded

#also filed under things i did not know i needed to know personally: apparently one can turn white as a sheet without 1. being dead #and 2. having very little melanin. telling you this bc between me nearly passing out twice on Friday bc of cramps my mother #saying if i had passed out they would have had to take me to the hospital and me throwing up several times only to find #out today that all the color had literally drained from my face before that in the span of two minutes (which i could not see bc yk.#i'm trying to stay awake here) i think we can safely say it is not a question as to whether i have endo any more it is simply how bad #did i mention i had taken the pain meds and it still managed to take me out like that. dysphoria didn't even have time to kick #in it was just f*ck you f*ck you f*ck you etc etc #should i do a poll and vote on whether i just need to pry this thing out of me as soon as possible. you think that's a good idea #anyway i'm still here!!!!!! this is also why i wasn't really active from like 5ish Friday all the way up to now bc aren't blood loss #and six thousand knives stabbing into your insides fun :))))))

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neverendingford · 2 months

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#tag talk #I love Evangelion so much it's so good #I watched the Evangelion 2 movie though and that sucked.#my bf likes it and was showing it to me and I had to pretend to like it #but my brother and I ranted about it for like an hour afterwards cause it fucks the bed with Eva so hard it's not good #now I'm watching Alien 4 or whatever.#unpopular opinion apparently: Alien sucked and is a very boring movie #2 and 3 are just as boring and uninteresting #we'll see if Alien: resurrection is just as bad. the premise sounded interesting on Wikipedia though #unrelated: I'm taking Spanish classes in the fall cause I'm tired of not knowing it past like a baby level #still mad about my mom not speaking it around the house for us to learn #taking it at a community college so I'll also be going to school again kind of #first time since 2020 so we'll see how I handle a few classes #I have adhd meds now so presumably I'll do better

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most-fuck-able-ff14 · 1 year

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WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ANTI STINKY MAN BANNER? -Mod Fisher

#mod rambles #not offically back #wanted to pop in and see how y'all were treating mod reaper #glad to see y'all like him!#hes very likeable!#my surgery went well i'm just having a hard time with recovery!#its not bad my jar just hurts and i might be allerigc to the pain meds #nothing serious i just have to take something to counter the reaction #just sucks i can't talk #but resting and eating my mush is all i can do!

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screambirdscreaming · 6 months

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ok this is a long fucking shot but does anyone out here know anything about. Allergies but rather than having itchy runny-nose symptoms you just feel systemically like shit. Like fatigue, nausea, vague headache, moderate-to-severe excercise intolerance, that sort of thing. But correlated to like, pollen exposure. Or just air quality in general?

The best ballpark diagnosis I have is asthma, but I've never actually had An Asthma Attack so I don't know if that's.... right. And even if it is, I can't really find good research or resources on managing systematic effects of asthma at this like... non-acute, non life-threatening severity.

Sometimes with weird medical shit like this, there's information that exists if only you can find the right keyword to search.... maybe somebody's got something?

Or even just, it'd be nice to hear if anyone elae deals with this and I'm not, like, completely insane*

*for this. other insanity unspecified.

#every day for the last week I've woken up and my immediate first thought has been #Ugh i wanna take a nap #Not even like “i didn't sleep enough I want to sleep longer”#But like. I need a completely different kind of sleep. That makes me rested.#In a way that neither sleeping or any type of restful activity or non-activity I've tried has accomplished.#fatigue is stupid!! It sucks!!#And every time I have had a bit of energy I've immediately totally overdone it and fucked myself up #Because I'm BORED I'm TIRED of being too fucking tired to do anything!!#Finally just put together today that it might be the same goddamn allergies that always get me #At this time of year.#After going outside to walk around in the sun and look at plants (always good for my brain)#And getting lightheaded and short of breath #So that's super cool and completely unhelpful. I already take daily allergy meds #And they help! But only so much #I've tried an inhaler and corticosteroid spray but the side effects suck #So it's just. Untreatable unless it gets bad enough for the side effects to be worth it I guess?#I feel like I should be more grateful it's not more severe.#I know a lot of people have it worse.#But it's frustrating also to be stuck in a place where it's not bad enough to *do* anything about #Ugh sorry this is very long and self-involved #And i will possibly delete it in a minute #I just gotta yell into the void here

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moe-broey · 8 months

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I had to take poor Lulu to the vet and I love how in part of Lulu's treatment/dispatch notes it says "Please keep Lulu quiet, rested, and inside for the next 7-10 days. There should be no running, jumping, or playing" as if I can realistically control any of these things except one (she's indoors by default) LIKE...... LULU PLEASE........... Lulu the doctor saiid you need to be on bedrest........... Lulu STOP TRYING TO CLIMB ON TAHT ‼️‼️‼️‼️ DON'T JUMP YPU ARE THE EQUIVALENT OF AN 80 YEAR OLD WOMAN WITH ARTHRITIS ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ PLEASE

#i'm gonna have to take her again soon which is. aaaugh it's been a little rough......#i think she's okay she just has bad arthritis. which might be getting worse #she was limping and unbalanced and we had to take her to an emergency clinic #it was. so much. i'm still reeling from it a bit #afterwards i had to rearrange my room too to make it more accessible to her (something i have been meaning to do for a long time)#my bed is. so short now. i feel so small (had a loft bed)#being autistic is so fucking stupid like. ohhhh i have to make a major change to my space. i'm gonna cry #but like i DO have to just suck it up bc lulu is more important. i'll get used to it!#i am so exhausted though. i feel so exhausted.#i just hope lulu is gonna be okay. and that she can actually RELAX my god she is SO RESTLESS #but tbh she's probably experiencing this tenfold. she doesn't even know the what and why.#all she knows is she's hurty and she got put in The Box the Evil Box and got poked and prodded one million times #and that wasn't even the end of it. i had to administer oral meds too. she has been SO DEEPLY BETRAYED #she's walking better now though! she still needs more in depth checkups we just. could not do that all at once.#at very least she's had some relief though. which i'm so glad for.

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poetic-emptiness-fanfic · 8 months

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Ugh, just my luck, I need a surgery...

#I went to see a doc bc of very bad back pain on Friday #at the office my limbs went numb and I was sent to emergency room #they ran tests and gave some meds #and they took MRI on Sunday #turns out I have a slipped disk in my cervical vertebrae #a neuro surgeon called today and told it would be better to operate #I have to go to the emergency room again tomorrow #and of course no one can come to accompany me so i have to just take it alone #I'm getting tired of all these fucking problems in my life #Emptiness rambles

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ashtonsunshine · 9 months

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I wish I could scream and people would understand what I was trying to say.

#carmo says things #personal #my illness is never valid in my mother's eyes #and that makes me furious #and sad; but most of it furious #i don't know how to explain it to you in a way that makes sense #because it's something that has a lot of background story and context #and i just..... 😔😔😔#i can't even be sick in peace here #if I can miss work because I'm not feeling well I sure as hell will and i won't be made feel bad about it by her #i do not give a fuck anymore #i just feel very...... idk.... unseen? disrespected? invalidated? by my mother every single time I'm sick #I'm always made feel like a nuisance for her and now she's making it seem like I'm being a nuisance to my boss too #like....... 😠😔😠😔😠😔😠#and she keeps on insisting i take meds I wasn't prescribed and honestly I'm fucking *SCREAMS* you know......#my mind is going 1000km/h

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pa-pa-plasma · 9 months

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the thing people rarely talk about is being unable to tell if you're sick or not because you already have these symptoms chronically. like yes i still have a cough, but all the other symptoms of long covid are basically normal for me

#funny enough some of my chronic symptoms i've had for years are a result of another bad illness i got when i was young #now i have a chronically runny nose. i'm not allergic to anything my nose just won't stop running #& now i have More chronic symptoms. fucking great #the reason i think i have long covid though is because of the cough & my entire body feels like more shit than usual #my stomach is upset & my heart is like. vibrating #which only happens when i take my meds (literal amphetamines) which i havent been because of my symptoms #& no it's not withdrawal. these specific meds don't do that for me. i can go on or off them withing weaning & i'm perfectly fine #oh also my hands are fucking cold as hell #i overheat very easily but i've been so cold after i got covid #looking at the list & actually i think it's basically confirmed i have long covid #i'm never fucking forgiving my mother for being so relaxed about catching the fucking plague #there's a huge chance it killed her husband (advanced his disease) & she literally does not care. if it killed me she'd go ''oh well''#every time i see someone not treating this situation with the seriousness it deserves i will take that personally

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