#i'm RAMBLING this is so long
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I've been thinking about PT9 and how he'd acclimate to Sim society, and what struggles everyone would face trying to incorporate him into everything, and I think the hardest thing would be communication. Sure, teaching terrestrial language to an alien species would be hard, but you're sure to find some kind of common ground somewhere in a verbal language. Eventually, using some sort of concept or comparison as a sort of key, you'd be able to start translating things.
But what if you didn't have a verbal language to work with?
Back on Sixam, everyone had antennae, and everyone was always sort of tuned into a huge cloud of thoughts and emotions, like a hivemind. There was this constant buzz of feeling, at all times of the day, ever present in everyone's lives. You could feel the boredom of the students in class a few buildings away, you could feel the grogginess of the morning as neighbors woke up and started to get on with their days, you could feel everything. The aliens had written language, for documentation and stuff, but it didn't have a verbal equivalent. It didn't need one. You could have someone read the words, and the concepts could be shared immediately to everyone else in the room, no need to even open your mouth.
PT#9, having heard of the diversity and beauty of Earth (or wherever the hell Sims live idk), decides to leave everything he knows behind and settle down there. His travel through space isn't quiet, either, as he's got communication devices and a whole host of things on the ship that keep him tied to the network even when he's out in space.
And then he gets shot out of the sky by a fucking missile or something and when he wakes up in the crater, it's silent. Deafeningly, crushingly, overwhelmingly so. He can hear the remains of the ship smoldering and sparking, and the garbled noises of radio transmissions from the huge metal towers, but nothing holds any meaning. He can't feel anyone near him; at first, he's worried that he's crashed in a completely deserted part of the globe.
It only gets worse after he meets Jenny. He's trying to communicate with her, trying to understand what she's feeling and what she wants, but there's nothing. He can't tune into her wavelength, and it seems as though she can't tune into his. Nobody can. They just keep ignoring him, whether they mean to or not, and instead they just keep chattering on in that strange melody that pours out of their mouths without end. He's blasting signals out into the world around him, trying to explain that he's lost and confused and injured and scared, and nothing is listening. Nobody's there to even hear it.
Eventually, he starts picking up on things. The noises are usually consistent; these creatures make the same noises to refer to the same objects. The "egg" noise always refers to the white oval things in the little carton in the fridge. But sometimes the noises are wildly unpredictable, used for things they shouldn't apply to or trying to mean something entirely different with the same sounds. It's mind-boggling to him, and progress is slow, but the two of them make progress together. His field was always biology, anatomy, studies of the body and how it works and forms. He has an easier time understanding the diagrams in Jenny's textbooks than he does Jenny herself. He's definitely no linguist, but he tries his hardest to bridge the gap, for both their sakes.
He gets the hang of it after a few years, enough to get by, and sometimes to even hold a decent conversation, but it's always slow and never instinctual. The concept of trying to crush so many ideas and feelings into such odd and unnatural vocalizations feels pointless. Exasperating. Why can't they just listen to him directly and cut out the middle man?
Improvement gets exponentially faster after Johnny is born, though. Having everything laid out simply, and seeing how people start to understand these things from the ground up, helps immensely. Pol and Johnny sort of learn to be normal Sims together, or at least as close as they can get.
Finding out that are other aliens and half-aliens with antennae gave him a little bit of hope, but he quickly found that none of them really used them. Most of them had been born into all of this "talking" stuff, and the ones that hadn't had already become fluent in it beforehand, leaving no use for the direct communication. Strangetown was still quiet, filled with chatter that only had meaning if you focused as hard as you could on the sounds. Pol was always in the dark, no matter what he did.
He left Sixam to be free of the noise and rigidness of it all, and boy, did he get it. Nothing made sense to him anymore. Nobody was guiding him or telling him what to do or updating him on the news or simply spilling out all their frustrations into the network. It was just silence, for as far as the antennae could feel.
An extra tidbit that occured to me: Pol would know exactly what happened the night Pascal got abducted; for the first time in two decades, someone got close enough that he could eavesdrop on an intelligible message.
#sims 2#sims 2 premades#pt9 smith#i'm RAMBLING this is so long#I just wanted to get my word salad out into the world before I forgot it#am I onto something with this#or do I need to go to bed
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speedrunning a bday gift for bb nephew hjdfgjh
#rug hooking#muffled laugh#wip#artists on tumblr#squints#honestly the difficult part is over( aka the cat) so that's good#I say speedrunning but it's in two weeksish#but it's kinda big? hgnng I want it to be an actual rug but since it's not pure wool idk how durable it would be#in the long run#which again I still wanna make a big rug for my room#so I can stomp around on it/test it out haha#being able to use the malabrigo chunky green yarn is very satisfying#also bless you chunky yarn which is making the progress go a lot faster haha#I drew a failed pattern on the other side of the backing and the fingertips on my left hand#look super bruised but it's just the marker rubbing off mhjfg#still like this style the most I think (the blended color type? like with the sea otter haha or the horse one#or like there's a big mix of textures/yarn size#coelacanth is fun but I think I got a little too nitpicky with it#lmao all my breaks between work have either been coral island or rug hooking#sort of related but there was a yarn shop I went to maybe 2 years ago?#and there was a yarn I bought there that I'm finally using up more and it's literally the softest/fluffiest yarn ever :'D#need to dig through my labels to see which brand it was#sorry to all the people who decided to open tags and got slammed with a wall of text/ramblings LMAO#edit: rip the yarn brand's actually been discontinued since 2018 hAHA
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I'm absolutely losing my mind seeing "We need to not treat men and masculinity as inherently evil and worthy of hatred, and not fall back into biological and gender essentialism because that hurts everyone, including trans women" being misinterpreted as "Women need to stop oppressing men", "I think trans women are actually men" or "You specifically who have trauma around men need to get over it because men are the real victims". It's so willfully disingenuous. It makes me sick how willing people are to read in bad faith, especially how willing other trans women are to suddenly start harassing and dogpiling another trans woman.
I am a trans woman too, I understand what it's like to feel unsafe, but it helps no one this cynical attitude that crops up every time someone suggests being kind to men in our lives. "You could save a man you know from falling down the alt-right pipeline" is not the same as "It's your fault that men murder you". "There are people who could be on our side if we don't meet them with immediate hostility" is not the same as "You need to shut up and stop criticizing power structures for the sake of your oppressors' feelings" (I promise there are a lot of people who can be taught about their complicity in oppression without immediately shutting down but you need to work with them). This kind of attitude isn't somehow more informed or correct. It's just lashing out to avoid considering one's own agency.
Making a better, safer world for ourselves requires all kinds of work, but it's always work. It's hard to try to reach out to people who could very realistically harm us, it's work that not all of us can afford to or are able to do and that's fine because we're all just trying to survive. But some of you would rather condescend, tear each other down, and make more enemies before even considering it a possibility.
#Don't expect anymore discourse posts from me I left that life behind long time ago#I don't like to engage in discourse and I do apologize but man#“biological essentialism is bad” is not a new take#Fuck off with calling it “vibes-based” politics#absolutely rotten#If I have to see “haha nooo your so sexy don't reblog the x post” one more time I'm gonna vomit because it's always the most rancid people#whose politics revolve around being as bitter as possible and refusing to do anything#couching a refusal to do anything in leftist language and ideology#More to the point I feel like too many people interpret “you can do something to make things better” as “it's your fault things are so shit#shark rambles
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on our way!!💚
#ffvii#ff7#final fantasy vii#final fantasy 7#cloud strife#tifa lockhart#red xiii#cait sith#cid highwind#barret wallace#aerith gainsborough#yuffie kisaragi#vincent valentine#dippyarts#...ok long tag ramble incoming#this drawing took me four months.#FOUR MONTHS#AND I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY IT TOOK ME THIS LONG#i started it in december for og's 28th anniversary#didn't finish it in time so i thought about doin g it for rebirth's 1st anniversary#didn't finish in time again#and now it's april. here we are. i'm EXHAUSTED#still i'm very proud of myself for finishing it instead of giving up halfway through#if you read all of this i hope you have an amazing day :))) (easter?)#tumblr is getting a day or two before instagram as a treat
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i am losing my entire shit right now, this single panel caused a nuclear disaster in my ig comments when someone said "halsin just saying 'astarion's partner' instead of his name feels icky"
which is such a fucking reach by itself but descended into this in about 5 seconds
#ramble#i keep getting older but the fandom bullshit never changes#i'm in pieces rn i am begging this person to get some real problems#i feel like it's an offence to even MENTION the pyramid of harm/hate on this???? like that's a Thing#but offhandedly referring to someone as 'person-you-know's partner' isn't a MIGROAGGRESSION IT'S A DESCRIPTOR SFDHDKSSDK#am i on shutter island. is this real#literally every job i've worked. 'oh xyz's girlfriend came in today'. 'i met so and so's partner yesterday'#HOW DO I EXPLAIN TO AN ADULT THAT CALLING SOMEONE 'PERSON'S PARTNER' IS A VERY NORMAL WAY TO REFER TO SOMEONE THE OTHER PERSON DON'T KNOW#i know it literally doesn't matter but as like. a storytelling thing#in my mind halsin has probably known astarion a LONG ASS time and he WOULD know dorian. he went to the wedding akfhdfh#ashe does not give enough of a shit to remember people's names. he's been at that arena for 30 years and forgets there's even a hockey side#ALSO IT'S NOT REAL#i need to put my face in some moss i'm dying
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DAY 3 of Jayvikweek: machine 🦾/butterfly 🦋
I couldn't decide because I don't like either version, but I'm posting them anyway because I want to participate too 😔
mad scientist Jayce and arcane herald butterfly in a rushed style


au, in which Jayce tries to get Viktor out of the astral plane and does everything to do so; including building an artificial body and practising necromancy again
And Viktor the Arcane Herald, destroyer of worlds, is confronted with his second greatest weakness: social events
#Jayce Talis#Viktor arcane#jayvik#jayvikweek#I admit that I just wanted to draw Jayce with long hair and a slightly manic look#And Viktor with a tight bun and following the trend of dressing him nicely#As you can see I'm starting to find excuses so I'll stop rambling and maybe focus more on quality than quantity#I forgot to give Viktor a cane or wand#that’s what I mean by rushed
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☆ Geek Girl art bc I've only seen 2 posts about her
This isn't as good as I remember but this was a couple weeks ago 🔥🔥
Alternate version w/ overlay:
#the eltingville club#welcome to eltingville#eltingville fanart#my art#I want to give her a name I think it would start with M or something...#damn you Bill Dickey you stinky geek if you won't take her I WILL 🗣🗣#I don't really like the sketch on the left but whatever I was experimenting ewugh#I couldn't think of yuri crackships in the 2000s so uh... this isn't timeline accurate#I have a couple headcanons about her uh such as#she'd probably prefer DC over Marvel but no preference#she'd love the Archie comics and Sabrina the Teenage Witch (both comics and show)#she would play animal crossing with System of a Down or Linkin Park playing in the back#also plays Doom or Resident Evil or smth#probably more but I'm rambling on too long#sketches#💥💥💥#ADDED LATE but I also think she'd have a dimple just cause
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I was thinking over the way Pavlova describes Wildberry's crush. he says (direct quote), "you know well that it won't work out, but you have no intention of giving up!" in their interaction in the kingdom, he also calls it a "foolish" type of love
and I was like. what does that imply about Wildberry's crush?? and how would it apply to Crunchy Chip??
"foolish" implies a lack of good sense or judgment. it's a crush that can only end negatively—heartbreak, fighting, strain, or some other horrible result. Wildberry could either keep his feelings to himself, being unhappy with his own cowardice. he could also confess and get rejected, therefore losing whatever bond he had with his crush in the first place. but he could also be accepted and enter a relationship, but then the worries he has could be true. it could not work out, just like he knows it won't, and it would be unfair to both of them. every possible end result (to someone who is convinced it will not work out) would demonstrate the foolishness of the crush he has. Wildberry strikes me as the kind of guy who doesn't get crushes often, and he deals with them on his own before he chooses to confess, if ever
I'm imagining him in his own head about it, which is why no one else seems to know; it could also be why he doesn't externally react to it when the others are around but pretty much concedes to his worries over it (and openly seems. I guess worried about them!!) when he's talking one-on-one with Pavlova. he has gone over these possibilities to himself without any external input. he is trying to figure out how to make it work, which is the "no intention of giving up" that Pavlova mentioned, but maybe he doesn't have a set answer yet, which is why it's still something he hasn't confessed. Pavlova only knows because it's what he does
I was thinking about why it "not working out" (very generally speaking) is something he would think about, and I wondered what kind of relationship he would want. in an overworld dialogue, Royal Margarine tells him he must be "popular with a tall, muscular build like that." whether it's true is unknown, but Wildberry says he doesn't care about such "trivialities," assumedly being popular. if he doesn't want popularity, maybe he wants something simple?? or steady?? or maybe even straightforward. it's hard to know for sure. he wants something that's actually possible for him and his lifestyle in the kingdom. he's a busy guy who often travels away for important and dangerous business. it would be difficult to be in any kind of steady relationship when that's what you do for work. long distance isn't for everyone
to him, he cannot be with Crunchy Chip because of their duties to their kingdoms. I think it circles back to that. Crunchy Chip is the captain of the cream wolves in the Dark Cacao Kingdom, and he is close enough to the king to travel with him to Beast Yeast. he protects the kingdom every day, as well as the woods surrounding it. Wildberry is a hired bodyguard to the Queen Mother, and he has sworn loyalty to her (and the king and queen of course); he frequently travels for work and is likely gone for long stretches of time, depending. they both have very important jobs that neither wants to give up. during Cookie Odyssey, they each talk about their love for their kingdoms and their respective leaders, even making a bet about who will want to visit the other more. they exchange letters on the regular. Hollyberry herself has noticed how much closer they're getting. he knows how much Crunchy Chip values his position in the Dark Cacaco Kingdom, and he values his own position in the Hollyberry Kingdom. they don't want to leave. they cannot leave. not now, maybe not for a long time. maybe not ever, in a horrible reality
it's foolish in every way fathomable. to Wildberry, at least
#cookie run kingdom spoilers#crk spoilers#cookie run spoilers#wildchip#wildberry cookie#crunchy chip cookie#pavlova cookie#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#crk#hbg.txt#i have so many thoughts and i'm sharing all of them#apologies again to the artist whose notes i wrote an entire novel </3 if you see this separate post. it got me thinking#i'm very glad you liked my rambling but it was very long dbshfsd
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I did a thing
(Please tell me the fonts are readable. I spent probably 24~ hours on them just so I could use them in my art.)
Original by VioletMadness7 on Twitter/X!
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#chaggie#charlie x vaggie#hazbin hotel vaggie#hazbin hotel charlie#I had a lot of fun with Vaggie's design#I imagine their first kiss would be long enough after they first met for her to start developing her clothing style#but not long enough for her hair to have grown out all that much#Also. I love Vaggie's canon design#and I love that she has long hair 'cause of her character and backstory#But. She looks really cute with shoulder length hair#my art#As I was drawing this I thought about Chubs Deuce's idea of Pigeon-Coded Vaggie#And idk if it influenced the drawing at all#But I just wanted to bring that up because it's such a delightful concept#As a lover of bird themed characters#Pigeon!Vaggie makes so much sense#Also don't mind all these tags. I'm rambling because I've been up for 22~ hours#I didn't intend for Charlie's hand to almost censor the f word#But I'm glad I stumbled upon that#Not that anyone seeing the art would care about a swear. But I don't like to swear so I like that I found a natural way to censor it
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Jaiden: How did you guys even find out that, um... Chayanne's admin plays Cucurucho? [Reading chat] Ohhh, accidentally played the soundboard as Chayanne? That's hilarious actually. I wanna see the clip of Phil reacting to that.
Jaiden: I love– I love the way that Phil laughs, it's just such a hearty, genuine laugh. The few times that I've made him laugh, I've felt really good about myself! [Embarrassed laugh] Because he makes me feel much funnier than I am, you know?
Jaiden talks about silly QSMP moments and laughter. 💜
[ Full Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]
—
TRANSCRIPT
Jaiden: How did you guys even find out that, um... Chayanne's admin plays Cucurucho? Did they just tell- tell Phil? Did- were they just hangin' out? [Reading chat] "The same username"? Ohhh. [Reading chat] "It was a mistake"? ...Wait, what was the mistake? What do you mean "it was an accident"?
Jaiden: Ohhh, accidentally played the soundboard [Laughs] as Chayanne? That's hilarious actually. [Laughs] What di- what did he say, was he just like, "Ha ha ha"? [Laughs]
[Old clip of Bad, Fit, and the Eggs] Bad: –have one of the things I'm looking for. Chayanne: [Cucurucho voice] HA HA HA Bad: What was that? Fit: You heard that too, right? Chayanne: [Cucurucho voice] NO Bad: ...What the fudge was that. Fit: Wait–
Jaiden: [Reading chat] "He said 'no'" [Laughs] That's so funny. [Laughs] I wanna see the clip of Phil reacting to that. I love– I love the way that Phil laughs, it's just such a hearty, genuine laugh.
[Clip of Phil laughing]
Jaiden: The few times that I've made him laugh, I've felt really good about myself! [Embarrassed laugh] Because he makes me feel much funnier than I am, you know?
[Old clip of Phil and Jaiden] Jaiden: Oh, that's awesome! And then it– [She gets snagged by the machine] Jaiden: Oh– Ahh! Phil: Be careful! Jaiden: AAAAAᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃᵃ — [Her screams fade as she's dragged away] Phil: [Laughs] There she goes! [Hits his desk and laughs]
[Another old clip plays] Jaiden: [Singing along to "It's Been So Long" from FNAF] It's been so long, since I've last seen my– Phil: What is happening? [Laughs, then laughs more seeing Jaiden's mask] PFTTT– [Laughs] Jaiden: [Laughing] Phil: Jesus Christ–
Jaiden: It's just like, such a good laugh! I wish I had a– a like, more-hearty laugh. You know? You know what I'm talking about? My laugh is kinda like... Uh, you know how you guys compare Foolish's laugh to like, the... window cleaner? Like a– [Squeaky window-cleaning sound]
[Short clip of Foolish covering his face with one hand and making the squeaky laugh he's known for, slapping the arm of his chair as he keeps laughing]
Jaiden: I can't do it– [Laughs] It doesn't sound like that. I think mine is like... Because like, I do like, "Hee hee hee!" and I also like, breathe in, like– [Squeaky sound] You know? So I think– My laugh kinda just sounds like... Like, after you spray the window, and you're like, cleaning it. Like, wiping it down with a cloth. You know? That's what my laugh sounds like. I wish it was more of like a, "Ha ha ha."
[Short clip of Cucurucho saying "HA HA HA"]
Jaiden: But, I mean, I'm not complaining. I don't think– I don't think "laugh anxiety" is something that I wanna– is not a path I would really wanna go down. [Quiet laugh] It's like- sometimes, you just gotta pick your battles. [Laughs]
Jaiden: [Reading chat] "You have a good laugh" Thank you. [Quiet laugh]
#Jaiden Animations#QSMP#Philza#Foolish Gamers#Cucurucho#QSMP Admins#(Sorta)#Phil#Jaiden#Foolish#September 5 2023#Timestamp: 13m 15s#Is this clip a little quiet? I can't tell if my clips are too quiet or if it's a me problem#Anyway – I've been thinking about this clip for AGES and finally stumbled across the timestamp the other day#Jaiden's got a nice laugh but I don't know how I'd describe it either#Anyways re: her comments; Phil does have a very hearty laugh. It's very warm and does make you smile#And since we're talking about laughs –#Quackity's another person whose laugh is very contagious#Pac's makes me smile too but I'll admit that's because I'm extremely biased#I'm rambling here but#If I were to very summarize those three's laughs (with my very biased opinion as a long-time viewer of 2 of them) I'd say:#Phil's laugh is very warm and friendly - and like Jaiden said - genuine#Quackity's laugh is very bubbly (for lack of a better word) It has so much energy you can't help but crack a smile too#Pac's laugh when he's embarrassed is very cute and it makes me smile
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Slay the Princess Spoilers
Slay the Princess is beautifully written, I think everyone—even people who have only see the game via screenshots—knows this. So, it's only natural that I see the lines everyone has silently agreed to be the most impactful floating around everywhere. However, one I have never seen mentioned yet, and my personal favorite line, is the one you get at the tail end of the forsaken Oblivion Ending.
"You have made a decision. It is the wrong one. I love you."
I know the Oblivion Ending is probably everyone's least favorite ending, but I think this line alone has made it my second favorite. It's so simple, especially when compared to the other lines in the game, but I love how it perfectly encapsulates Slay the Princess to me.
Two entities made to oppose each other, put in a cruel scenario where their ideals are tested, and their feelings for each other are stressed. Conflict is a natural part of relationships, and in some cases, it's even good! They're not going to agree on everything, or like everything the other does, but the Shifting Mound and the Long Quiet will always love each other, even when one has doomed the other for all eternity. There is forgiveness, and there is fondness.
#ramblings#slay the princess#stp spoilers#the shifting mound#the long quiet#I was going to put a cavet on here that I'm likely reading way too into this#But I don't think stp is a game you can read too far into if you're doing so earnestly#Can't wait for the pristine cut....
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Hi yes I'm still thinking about these two pages and about how Nakajima Atsushi really is the protagonist of all time.
Nothing could ever justify the orphanage director's treatment of Atsushi. Nothing could ever justify the pain and abuse Atsushi faced at the director's hand. But it is undeniable that the director has played a significant part in shaping who Atsushi is presently and has also aided him in times of need. It ties into BSD's recurring theme of how your past does not define you, but you also cannot flee from those memories because they have fundamentally influenced so many facets of your life — and acknowledging said memories is the first step to healing from them.
The director has been haunting Atsushi all this time and Atsushi so desperately wants to purge his voice from his mind, but he's also never lived a life where the director's presence doesn't plague him. What would he do once the person whose actions have shaped who he is today is finally gone? The director died and Atsushi cried because people tend to cry when their fathers die and now Atsushi is verbalising all of his loathing for his abuser in a way he couldn't for so long and yet he’s horrified by the prospect of being rid of his influence.
And the way Atsushi’s eyes are concealed from the reader until the director tells him that he’ll be gone “as early as today, even”, and there’s so little light in Atsushi's eyes when they’re finally revealed to us. The way they reflect these conflicting emotions within Atsushi surrounding the director's declaration — he'll finally be free of the very person responsible for so much of his pain and trauma, and yet that person has been such a significant part of his life that a world in which his abuser won't haunt him is unfamiliar and terrifying to him.
And I just. God. I can’t.
#bsd spoilers#bsd 123#sorry this is pretty incoherent#i’m posting this after a very long day so i'm quite tired#and i also have no coherent thoughts about this boy because i'm a mess over him#as is the norm for me but this chapter has exacerbated it#i'm sick i'm so sick#aisha rambles#aisha writes meta#aisha reads bsd#nakajima atsushi#atsushi nakajima#bsd atsushi#bungo stray dogs atsushi#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd manga#bsd manga spoilers#bsd meta
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please keep doing the right thing by not calling out this or any other imitators of your art. if they're not impersonating you, deceiving people about whose artworks were made/posted first, or threatening your livelihood (which is a wholly seperate issue of economics), there's no material damage being done here. that just leaves the shitty feelings you get from being aware of the imitation, and i have faith that you can get over those and move on with your life.
fact: your art is technically skillful and broadly appealing to tumblrites both in style and subject (big fandoms, popular ships, familiar tropes and ideas). that's why it's popular.
fact: social media incentivizes creators to post whatever content gets the most engagement and viewers to engage with the same kinds of content over and over, regardless of who copied who.
fact: the only thing no one else can copy is the fact that your art was made by *you*. if that's not enough for you to feel secure in the inherent value of what you make, i'm afraid there's an part of you that fears that your work is replaceable.
the discomfort and "creepiness" you talk about sounds like you're stuck in zero-sum mindset: this person can only gain something by taking it away from *you*. and that's just not true. what do you feel you're "losing" to them in this competition? praise? attention? social media points? money (see above)? unpack that.
fact: your art will be harder to imitate and less attractive to imitators if you get weirder and more experimental with it. which i would love to see, btw.
i appreciate this !! but also i should clarify: i'm not upset because i'm jealous of this person getting attention or i feel like i'm 'losing' to them in any way. i'm very secure in my own work now and if this was a stranger i probably wouldn't care as much. this is not any kind of 'threat' to me and the amount that this affects my actual life is very minimal
i'm upset because this is someone who i gave the benefit of the doubt and actually befriended, who went from taking small stylistic choices i made to potentially ripping off entire characters/comics that i wrote, and did it to my face. and i don't think it's an overreaction for me to be weirded out by that
#ramble#i appreciate the sentiment but this is reading into my psyche a Lot akdfhjs. is it just me#anon with all respect what does any of this mean#also i cannot stress enough i'm not a public figure i am literally just some guy. i'm not pictures floating in space i'm a PERSON#i honestly can't explain why this whole thing is weird to me. it's just sort of. rude???#literally none of the social media/money/attention part of this matters to me it's that my art is very personal to me and they took it#like you spend so long making absolute garbage to find your own style and then somebody just takes it from you#and even while this was happening i was adding new things to my art and they were right behind me doing the same things#it's so stupid that this is about elves i hate it here#sorry this makes me sound so bitchy i'm just so fucking done with it
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bit of a silly question here but have you ever gotten afraid to draw in a journal like the one you recently shared? like the idea of using the pages "incorrectly" or "wasting" them (or running out right before you get inspiration that might have been "better" than what you'd jotted down)? your art is INCREDIBLE and I know the best way to improve is to do it, all the time, but I struggle getting started for those sorts of fears, and I want to know if you have tips for overcoming that ^^
I don't think it's a silly question, in fact I think it's one of the Ultimate Art Questions haha
Yes I 100% struggled with that in the past; i'm happy to try my best, sharing some personal tips in journaling, specifically! :D
TECHNICAL SIDE:
>> Small simple sketchbook = less intimidating to fill the pages. (Also, easy to carry around)
5x7in Moleskin, and a pilot pen
>> My journal ISN'T a place to prove that I can make pretty pictures. I have separate sketchbooks for that. I use journals to jot down ideas and notes of things I like. (yes i shared a few pages that happened to look nice, but there were 100+ other pages after all d: )
Spontaneous observation is messy and imprecise. But not in a bad way.
Rather than seeing the messiness as "bad/unworthy imperfection," try to see it as a miraculous insight to how you, a unique human being with your unique thoughts and art experience, sees the things you like
My journal process (in general): doodle a pretty cake I ate, a funny bird I saw, some weird dialogue I overheard, stickers, stamps, a character in a book that I want to draw as a dragon,......... scatter them all over the page, then look at the random blocks of empty paper remaining. Fill those up next with another lil quote, or words about the week, or some pretty vines/flowers :) etc. It's like making a collage.
Draw what you actually LIKE + what actually sounds FUN to draw. u can always take photos/save pics of other stuff if it's overwhelming.
>> Find your comfort tools. I love ink. how it looks, feels, etc; I hardly ever use pencil. A sketch that I need to ink over is usually too much work for my journal. I'm just trying to get down ideas before I get bored or get inspired by another thing LOL
[But yeah: pencils can be the perfect tool for someone else. Regular pencils, colored pencils, watercolor pencils... play around with a bunch of basic tools to find your fav.]
EMOTIONAL SIDE:

I highly recommend Lynda Barry's book "Making Comics." She has some lovely, and deeply empathetic things to say about overcoming fear of making "bad" art.

My journal scribblings/therapeutic studies --- someone with 10x the skill could do it better, sure, but they probs wouldn't focus on the same details, or be interested in the same monsters, or be thinking the same thoughts as me.
They won't have the same things to say about their day, won't see the same spindly tree growing from a crumbling brick wall on their walk. etc!
Also! imo this POV isn't an excuse to feel like I don't need to improve my technical skill, but it keeps me happy, fulfilled, and motivated as I'm on that road of improvement. AND it makes me appreciate others' incredible art as their own reflection of the things they love/their own experiences, rather than view it competitively/jealously.
"Drawing is so much more than Good or Bad. It is a language from another part of you." - Lynda Barry
#random rambling#long post#omfg SORRY IT'S SO LONG#but im passionate abt this tbh#i'm very familiar with how feels to be afraid of making bad art - exacerbated in this age of social media#idk i hope i didn't just talk in circles and answer nothing#it really is such a complicated thing#i hope ppl can make art bc it's human.... not bc the only “worthy” art is “good” art#i could write like 20 more pgs about this but i HAVE TO STOP MYSELF#ok#im done#thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Urgent: Help Us Not Get Screwed
Anyone who follows us has seen us screaming from the hill-tops about our current crowdfunding campaign for Aether Beyond the Binary (17 aetherpunk stories! Outside the gender binary main characters!). We've only got 50 hours left...and we just got screwed.
Our Anthology Kickstarter is being scammed.
About two hours ago, with us still roughly $1,500 from our goal, we got a junk pledge for almost $2,000. This pushed us into being marked as "funded" but there is zero chance it's a real pledge, it's from a shell account marked as being in Turkey. This kind of money doesn't just fall like a miracle into the laps of small business like ours.
The timing on this attack is devastating. The final 48 hours of a campaign are absolutely critical, especially for one as close to meeting our goal as we are. We were very likely to hit our target, but doing so was going to require appeals to y'all that started with "hey, we're so close, please help spread the word." Further, the campaign has hundreds of followers who will get a notification at the 48 hour mark, and many who might have backed to help get us to the finish line will now think "oh, they're there, they don't need me," and not back. Meanwhile, one of two things will happen with the spam pledge: either it will get removed by Kickstarter, which could take hours or a day+, totally nuking us during this crucial window, or it won't get removed until the payment bounces post-campaign, at which point we won't actually have enough money to do fulfillment.
Either way, we are fucked.
Please, please don't let these dipshits ruin the love and passion that 30+ people have poured into this project for over a year.
Our campaign IS NOT FUNDED, and it won't be without help. I'm begging, help spread the word about how we're getting screwed, and help spread the word about Aether Beyond the Binary (visit the link for so much info!) so that we can get enough real pledges to fund this project we've poured our hearts and souls into.
SUPPORT THE QUEER ANTHOLOGY KICKSTARTER FOR AETHER BEYOND THE BINARY (with your pledges or with signal boosts!)

#unforth rambles#like seriously guys i feel sick#this is a disaster#and the absolute earliest KS can do anything about it is in another 2 hours when their offices open#but it will probably take longer#someone else i know running a campaign right now it took 24 plus hours to get rid of an $8k spam pledge on their campaign#we WILL NOT FUND if it takes that long#in my submission to KS support I've begged them to give us another day#but even that's only a stop-gap because we've been advertising as ending tomorrow#there's no fixing this#i'm so upset i'm nauseous
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my bougie dwarf LoF rook Tyarva and her sugar baby silly charming professor who she adores so very much <333
#dragon age#da:tv#dragon age veilguard#rook#emmrich volkarin#my art#spoilers in these tags sorry I need to ramble#HE!!!! UGH!! <3 I feel like emmy is the kind of romance candidate a lot of us always wished for but they were stuck in unromancable npc hel#him being so popular is extremely vindicating!!!!!! like yes gilf nation is only getting stronger#my only big gripe with his romance is everyone just assumes your Rook is a youngster#people with Rook's intentionally made to be in their 40's/50's with visible wrinkles/signs of aging being infantilized 🤝#anyway I'm happy to be drawing again... lets see how long that lasts :')#mayhaps some lich!emmrich stuff... I'm happy with the path I went with but let me tell you I MOURN what we could have had
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