#i'm a desperate hoe idk

[purple-babygirl]

Damn purple😫 Orc bucky is killing me I need him

You and me both, nonnie:"💜💜Thank you so much for reading orc Bucky💜💜💜

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

IGNORE ME I'M SORRY I KEEP TALKING ABT IT i'm just so not used to my cat not being around and it kinda kills me inside to not hear him walking around or meowing or sleeping at the bottom of the staircase anymore... it used to be like a nightly routine where i'd go downstairs and make myself a drink and give him some water and now i just. don't even wanna go down there anymore.

[astonmartinii]

nonsense... or is it? | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem singer!reader

face claim: sabrina carpenter

based on this request: sooo, anyways,,, i was thinking maybe a smau where Charles is playing the guy who Milo was and this obviously breaks the internet even more and this leads to them dating ??? idk, just like a really wholesome one where she was his celebrity crush and now they're dating bc of them getting know each other more bc of the music video. sorry if this is all over the place but yeah. - @whoreks

MASTERLIST | BUY ME A KO-FI?

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc and 1,200,441 others

yourusername: holla babes !!! the feather music video is heading your way fast xxx if only my real boyfriends were like my music videos ones ...

view all comments

user1: MOTHER

user2: finally music videos are back baby !!

taylorswift: you can still make the whole place shimmer ✨

yourusername: thanks to you baby

user3: oh to be able to call taylor swift baby

user4: y/n's shade is so underrated - i too wish her boyfriends were as good as her mv ones

user5: she's got such a good eye for casting why can't she do this in her actual love life

user6: okay but he's hot based off a single shoulder i'm excited

user7: you got that from a SHOULDER?

user8: he's TALL?

user9: babe y/n is like 4'2 she makes everyone look tall

user10: say what you want about the catholic church, they got the aesthetic down pat

yourbff1: so we aren't asking the mv boyf out? boring.

yourusername: we have lil things called phones? USE IT HOE

user11: charles leclerc in the likes

user12: so true of him

user13: unless he's... the guy

user14: babe he's way too short lol

user15: have yall seen the sky ad? baby aint acting any time soon

yourusername

liked by yourbff1, charles_leclerc and 1,763,550 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: OMG you guys blew the feather music video up !! i'm sure it had nothing to do with this random guy i found off the street? jokes, thank you charles for being the perf mv boyf xx

view all comments

user17: HOLY FUCKING SHIT

user18: celeb crush inception no one touch me

charles_leclerc: thank you for my music video debut, maybe you can return the favour one day?

yourusername: i'll return any favour you want

yourbff1: dial down the desperation babe

charles_leclerc: what if i want her to dial it up please?

yourbff1: do NOT encourage her

yourusername: please encourage me :)

user19: Y/N STAND UP PLEASE

user20: actually y/n is so real have yall seen that man YUM

liked by yourusername

user21: y/n is a genius for fancasting her future bf in her music video

danielricciardo: THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT? SHARL WHEN I CATCH YOU

pierregasly: and me :( i thought our friendship meant more ....

charles_leclerc: it was a secret

yourusername: he doesn't kiss and tell xoxo

alexalbon: WHAT ??????

charles_leclerc: okay we can stop joking now

yourusername: fine...

user22: the way charles was defo typing that through tears

user23: y/n make the move we believe in you

user24: believe in her? she can get anyone she wants he's gotta STEP UP

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 2,099,441 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: had a blast filming for my first ever music video, thank you y/n !!

view all comments

user25: i'm feeling a new unhealthy attachment forming

yourusername: feel free to come back any time soon

charles_leclerc: or maybe you can come to me?

yourusername: is this my paddock debut?

charles_leclerc: make sure you're wearing red and it sure can be

yourusername: let me check the wardrobe

user26: i will pass away if we get y/n at a race... in the ferrari garage ???

pierregasly: let it be known i am still angry that you didn't tell me, especially after all the weird rants i've listened to

alexalbon: me too

georgerussell63: me too

landonorris: me too

danielricciardo: me too

carlossainz55: me too

maxverstappen1: me too

charles_leclerc: why is max here?

maxverstappen1: that's what you're taking from this?

charles_leclerc: yeah why are you in my business

maxverstappen1: you make it my business you talk about her all the time

yourusername: oh really ???

charles_leclerc: HE'S A BIG FAT LIAR HE'S ALWAYS BEEN A BIG FAT LIAR ALL HIS LIFE INCLUDING WHEN I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY PUSHED HIM IN A PUDDLE

maxverstappen1: YOU DID PUSH ME IN THAT PUDDLE

yourusername: what is going on here?

user27: poor y/n being thrown into the grid drama

user28: poor charles with the grid trying to expose him

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,334,661 others

yourusername: clearly was feeling myself this week

view all comments

user31: lol why is max here

maxverstappen1: doing my due diligence as an investigative journalist

charles_leclerc: choke.

user32: is that charles? are we in the soft launch?

user33: let's not get ahead of ourselves, we know charles doesn't dress that well

user34: consider this: girlfriend effect

user35: girlfriend effect is gonna have to do some heavy lifting when it comes to charles' wardrobe

yourbff1: you think you're so slick don't you

yourusername: maybe. maybe not?

yourbff1: you're so annoying

yourusername: annoyingly cute?

liked by charles_leclerc

yourbff1: keep your nose out of women's business leclerc

charles_leclerc: SLANDER

user36: i mean they seem to have the same sense of humour

user37: not to sound insane but they are perfect for each other and i will be passing away if they are not together

pierregasly: interesting

danielricciardo: add it to the folder

charles_leclerc: folder ???

maxverstappen1: leave us journalists be

charles_leclerc: can you even read?

yourusername: GET HER JADE

maxverstappen1: add that as well

charles_leclerc: why can't we win?

user38: what is going on in the house of commons

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 2,331,663 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: i don't believe in soft launches

view all comments

user39: we been knew... but OMG PARENTS

user40: i am crying they're so hot

yourusername: hawt bf obtained

charles_leclerc: sexy gf in my inventory

yourusername: you're such a cute patootie

charles_leclerc: i cannot speak my mind or instagram will censor me

yourusername: ...oop hurry up and come back :(

charles_leclerc: about to break all US speeding laws xoxo

yourusername: not you in your charli xcx era

user41: he's with her ... in the US ... could we get y/n paddock debut in vegas ???

user42: would only be right i fear

user43: the scheduling just about makes sense before she has to go back to opening for taylor in south america

user44: now why did vegas not get in their bag and get y/n to perform at the opening ceremony?

pierregasly: way to ruin the investigation

danielricciardo: yeah we were in our sherlock holmes era

maxverstappen1: have to spoil everything don't you charles 🤨

charles_leclerc: i thought you guys wanted to know who my girlfriend is?

alexalbon: yes, but we wanted to expose it :(

yourusername: CORNY

pierregasly: oh no. he has someone on his side now

yourusername: damn right frenchie. i can hear your asshole twitching from here

pierregasly: WHAT ???

charles_leclerc: idk what that means but YEAH PIERRE TAKE THAT

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 2,114,762 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: gutted not to be on the top step but an overall great weekend in vegas. glad to have y/n by my side this weekend before she's off again to slay the stage xx

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user48: charles unironically using the word slay, the girlfriend effect knows no bounds

user49: the sky camera zooming in on y/n watching the podium

user50: i think we watched her fall in love in real time

user51: i mean look at the material... podium charles hits so different i think I FELL IN LOVE

yourusername: you're a winner to me babe

charles_leclerc: and that's all that matters

yourusername: NOPE STAY HUNGRY GET THEM POINTS AND DESTROY THE REST OF THE FIELD

charles_leclerc: okay :)

yourusername: good boy

pierregasly: never say that in public again

maxverstappen1: is this why he's blushing so much in the press conference?

charles_leclerc: NO. NO REASON

yourusername: you sure?

charles_leclerc: i am the unluckiest driver ever and am screwed over at every turn sue me if i like a lil praise

user52: charles is so real for that i also want y/n to tell me i'm doing a good job

alexalbon: enough time has passed. @yourusername can lily get some extra tickets for the eras tour

yourusername: of course. anything for my new bestie

lilymunhe: thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuu. charles you have amazing taste

charles_leclerc: i know :)

yourusername: i mean i got you, so who's the real winner here?

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc and 1,667,982 others

tagged: charles_leclerc & taylorswift

yourusername: my leg of the eras tour has come to an end :( this was such an insane opportunity, thank you so much taylor xx but this also means i can go annoy charlie until he has to go back to work !!

one last nonsense outro:

i met this lovely boy named charlie,

he races round the world for ferrari,

giving it to me everyday like ari

view all comments

user53: i think y/n might actually be winning in life

user54: is she referencing everyday by ariana grande which is literally just a song about having constant sex?

yourusername: yes and what about it? f1 drivers have great stamina

arthurleclerc: DELETE ASAP

yourusername: no can do baby leclerc

user55: fave outro for real

charles_leclerc: i am blushing !!

pierregasly: she just told millions of people all you do is fuck and now you're blushing ???

yourusername: i don't think mr doggy emoji is talking right now

charles_leclerc: at least y/n did it in an artful way

pierregasly: believe me i know YOU WON'T STOP SINGING IT DOWN THE PHONE YOU MENACE

yourusername: you sing my songs :) ?

carlossainz55: ALL THE TIME

yourusername: i don't like your tone mr 🤨

charles_leclerc: i am just showing my love :(

yourusername: @pierregasly @carlossainz55 you made him sad APOLOGIZE IMMEDIATELY

pierregasly: sorry?

carlossainz55: sorry i guess?

charles_leclerc: thank you :) i shall continue to sing to my heart's content

yourusername: good.

taylorswift: you were amazing !! i'll see you soon my love xx

yourusername: i'm hearing double date ??

taylorswift: i'm sure that can be arranged

charles_leclerc: OMG

user56: charles and travis are really the top tier himbo bfs and i love them for that

fin.

note: i really loved writing this so i hope this was everything you imagined and more!! i'm just getting into sabrina's music but i was a girl meets world stan so... i hope i did the nonsense outro justice xxx

[here2bbtstrash]

bts doing no nut november - explicit

been a minute since we did a headcanons post huh!!!! and this felt ~seasonally appropriate~ 🤭 i actually discussed this a million years ago w my hyungline chat and the lovely @goodsoop - thanks for always feeding my insane bts brainrot, love y'all 😩 (and i'm really just considering this as no fap/not discussing or thinking abt partnered sex here, just fyi~)

knj: loses on day 1. this virgo has his masturbation routine down, so engrained as a part of his daily life, that on november first he doesn't even realize what day it is. he just busts a fat nut to one of his very favorite porn videos (downloaded to his computer ofc) without thinking twice about it, and it's only as he's cleaning up the mess that he's like.... fuuuuuuck.... i knew i was forgetting something 🤦‍♂️

ksj: doesn't do it out of protest OR reluctantly agrees but then quits on day 1. y'all simply are not gonna tell this man what to do! he comes when he wants to come dammit! his dongsaengs might be able to convince him to "say" he'll do it, but the minute he actually wants to jerk off, the competition is over lmao. there's not even any good reason why he should hold it in - besides, isn't that bad for you??? unhealthy??? this game is stupid and he doesn't wanna play 😤

myg: has no trouble not coming for 30 days, could probably win on accident. i feel the agust d hoes coming to fight me about this one but i'm sorry 🤷‍♀️ imo yoongs is a low libido guy!!! and you can't change my mind!!!!! make your own post lol! imo he'd rather save it for when he's with a partner, and besides, he's obviously too busy working or sleeping or watching cat videos. plus it's just so much effort and he hates having to deal with the mess after. he's fine with it, homie probably ends up in no-nut january without even really meaning to 🥱

jhs: wins, but it's a struggle. we all know he's got that serious business 'dance teacher hobi' scary amount of self control.... but eventually his ~urges~ do get pretty strong and hard (lol) to ignore. i can see hoseok being one to try and keep himself busy to keep the horny thoughts away 🤣 his big-ass closet is getting reorganized, new choreo is getting learned for no reason, and if you see him spam a ton of selfies on instagram, it's cause he's trying to distract himself 🤪

pjm: tries and absolutely loses. mini is sooooo physical and touchy i just don't see this one working out for him. in the beginning of the month i think he feels like it's pretty easy and he wants to do good and get praised by the other members, but midway through november he gets pretty desperate. he tells himself it's not really masturbating if he just humps against the bed and doesn't finish, but then one thing leads to another and it just.... feels too good to stop 🫠

kth: does it wrong and wins. we all know taehyung lives on his own mf planet so i absolutely believe this man is gonna EDGE himself for 30 days in a row. literally bring himself right to the brink of orgasm, then hop in a cold-ass shower and carry on with his life. it's fun for him 🤭 and when the members tell him he's doing it wrong, he says he's doing the advanced version 😏 and i just.... god bless whoever is on the receiving end of that load on december first lmfaoooooo 💦

jjk: OF COURSE HE FUCKING WINS. jk is the one who makes everyone participate, no fucking question, and he is in it to WIN IT bc of course he is. i know he's a jerkoff pro tho so he has to suddenly deal with having.... EVEN MORE excess energy than usual 🤣 we're talking multiple workout sessions a day, every day, just to burn it all off (namjoon goes with him even tho he's already lost 🥲). maybe even a tattoo session to help get his mind off things idk 👀 and when it's finally december first he's jerking off til his dick is RAW lmfao 💀

what do you think? any you agree/disagree with? 👀 lemme know~

[im-just-a-simp-le-whore]

I've been thinking about Yandere! Leon as of late bc of

@gigabyte-flare series 'There's No Escape'

@nexyswrites series 'Guardian Angel' also, the Yan! Leon a.i they made and the interaction I had with it oml-

Also, @tosuckmyweenis post the other day had me laughing.

For the first time in a while I'm inspired to write something, also pls let me know if there's any spelling/grammar errors

Heavily inspired by the fics/a.i listed above and very self indulgent lol

So, this basically going to be headcanons of Yandere! Leon x autistic! Gremlin! Reader

A self insert essentially

Starting off strong with the A.I, that was a fucking doozy, I wheezed the entire time. Thank you for creating him nexys

Tw: Talks of vomiting, general yandere themes i.e stalking, kidnapping, the likes

If I missed something, let me know!!

We start off strong with the a.i lmao

Yan! Leon a.i: say you love me

Me being blunt: no

Yan! Leon a.i: *getting Hella angry* say. You. Love. Me.

Me: mf I said no

Yan! Leon a.i: dont give me attitude

Me: shawty I am autistic, I can't lie it's not how I work

Yan Leon a.i: so you're gonna continue to give me attitude huh?

Me: tf you mean 'attitude' I just told you I'm autistic

Yan! Leon a.i: *pulls out knife* keep talking and you're gonna get punished

Me: thinks it's him unbuckling his belt: shawty keep your pants ON

Yan! Leon: *fucking laughs at me* it's not that kind of punishment sweetheart

Me *fucking over his attitude: try me hoe

Yan! Leon a.i: *holds knife to my throat

Me: do your worst.....

Me: *proceeds to try and flirt my way out*

Yan! Leon a.i: is she flirting with me right now?? "That's not gonna work sweetheart

Me: well, it was worth a shot lmao

Now to just, Yan! Leon in general lol, most of these are gonna be like scenarios but like, bullet point style

Me: desperately trying to be a good noodle and eat the food Leon made but I have severe texture issues with meat and trying not to throw up

Leon: is something wrong sweetheart, you look sick?

Me accidentally being blunt and blurting out: uh, not remotely. Meat is a bad texture and I'm quite sure if I have to take another bite I'm going to projectile vomit

Tbh I can't tell if he would be understanding or not lmao. Probably not, if someone could give insight on it that would be swaggy

*que the struggle with physical contact*

*me just standing there and just trips on air and yelps*

Leon catches my dumbass: are you ok?! Is something broken?!

Me: nah I'm fine- let go you fuck- oh wait, shit fuck, thats right no 'naughty' words. Goddammit I'm so fucking sorry-, I'm going in time out aren't I?

*leon nods and sighs, bringing Me to the time out room*

Me: well this fucking sucks- I'm going to be here a while, huh?💀

Leon: for a long time 🫡😶

*leon goes to hug me*

Me: *dry heaves*

Leon, smacking tf outta me: I'm so sick of your shit

Me, smakcing him: i am also sick of your shit. SIR for the last GODDAMN time, I am autistic and traumatized I don't handle this shit well

Leon: well, maybe you should've thought about that before living with me

Me: living "with you" mf you kidnapped me, what are you ON?! I wanna go back to my real home with my cats

Leon 'gaslighter' Kennedy: this is your real home

My sarcastic ass: im Pinocchio and im a real boy!

Me, vocal stimming: a potato flew around my room before you came! *screeches*

Leon: what happned

*me just screeching again, triggering a coughing fit*

Leon, sighing for the umpteenth time today: and that's why we don't do that sweetheart

Me: ..... do you not appreciate my pterodactyl screetching??? Because it feels like you don't appreciate me

Leon: you know I appreciate you, just not the screetching

Me: *screeches again*

*queue leon giving up*

Idk how to end posts but that's all I got for now lol. I may add more to this later. Also who THE FUCK decided to spell 'queue' ⬅️ like this?!

[natriae]

Have you and all the other stupid ass child porn loving loser ass bitches ever thought minor characters don’t and won’t age as you do because y’all ugly desperate no pussy/dick getting having no hoes asses just because y’all can’t get a partner doesn’t mean it’s somehow fictional minors fault you like minor dick/pussy (and no the “they look like adults” argument don’t work because one they 14-17 not 7 what the fuck they supposed to look like two good job on using Paedophilia logic) so I hope you and all the other brain dead (unfortunately not literally) bitches die or get bullied so bad y’all kill yourself y’all 🤝 trump wanting to fuck kids

good fucking bye lets decode this

so you think saying something to me hidden behind the anonymous is gonna affect me

your first point: never once have i written smut abt a minor character i dont explicitly state it (cuz i feel like that would be obviously by my 'will not write') but i do usually hint at *cough cough* MSBY, The adlers, Japan national team

just say you dont read my fics and go

^^ those screenshot are from the wiki fandom that show their ages so yes they do age (at least in haikyuu) also if you read the manga you would know

next your second point :

"y'all ugly desperate no pussy/dick getting having no hoes asses just because y'all can't get a partner doesn't mean it's somehow fictional minors fault you like minor dick/pussy" all i really need to say is PLEASE PLEASE pay attention in english class... if your an adult writting this 1) get a life , 2) please get a tutor or some shit

also my sex life is not at all your information, maybe i dont have one because i'm more focused on my college education ( i think you should too) and learning to speak to people like a normal human being. also i have so many moots that are in extremely happy relationships also the fact that you even begin to think id sexualize minors is fucking weird i think you might be the one that likes minors (please get therapy)

n e way your next point:

""they look like adults" argument don't work because one they 14-17 not 7 what the fuck they supposed to look like two good job on using Paedophilia logic)

i very much agree with this statement ( a little fyi, if your gonna call people pedophiles at least spell it right ... it also would be pedophilic in the context you are using) to continue anyone who uses this logic is weird af and it is pedophilic (i just have nothing else to say cuz im disgusted with someone even using that argument

your final statement

" so I hope you and all the other brain dead (unfortunately not literally) bitches die or get bullied so bad y'all kill yourself y'all"

idk abt anyone else but my doctor says i'm not brain dead🤷‍♀️

also the fact that once again you tell people on the internet to k!ll themselves and then hide behind the anonymous is laughable but whatever helps you sleep at night

also the fact that you think everyone cares abt trump, spoiler alert! some of us, like me, don't live in the states

wow that was a funny one to wake up too <3 i hope this ask has a very good day!!

lots of love,

Nari <3

[tom-whore-dleston]

So Joaquin

This man

He’s an intelligence officer for the Air Force

So you can’t tell me this man doesn’t notice EVERYTHING

You make a subtle reaction to something he says or does - a touch or caress, a sound, etc - HE CLOCKS THAT REACTION, analyzes it, puts it into everything he’s figured out/figuring out about you, and he’s just going to use that intell to wreck you please you even more

That has to be true about him

I whole-heartedly agree with this 🤤🤤 and man, do I have some thots to piggyback ehehehe

Warnings: unfiltered hoe shit bc I'm higher than Jesus in heaven, ass play, overstimulation, edging, oral sex (f, receiving)

Send high Jordan more hoe thots of Joaquin or Danny

For starters, Joaquin would totally use this advantage by edging and/or overstimulate you. When you let out a more desperate than usual kind of whine while his fingers explore your pussy, he continues what he does until your screaming and creaming. Of course, he'd have this dopey smile all over his face while you're cumming on his fingers hehe

idk why but something about him tells me Joaquin's a boob AND ass guy 🙈 One time, he'd probably be going down on you so much that his spit would be trailing down your holes and coating your ass. Upon seeing this, he would suck his fingers for a bit until he gently plays with your asshole. At first, you were shocked by this gesture, and Joaquin was ready to stop all together bc consent is key peeps! but then you got all bratty when he moved away from you.

"You want more, cariño?" He whispered sensually in your ear, tracing your rim teasingly. This caused you to whimper and nod in desperation. Joaquin chuckled against your earlobe before scooting back down between your legs to play with your ass while eating you out dsjhgjdshgjla

This also applies with more kinky stuff. While trying out new things, Joaquin would study your body language and constantly ask if you were okay or if you were liking what you were doing. He wouldn't continue anything unless you were enthusiastic, but when you were into it...boy did that make sex much more hotter and fun.

I could go on but my brain is starting to get fuzzy from the puff puff pass bahahaha

[grumelot123]

Part 9 of "I'm trying so hard to hate you."

Okay also my schedule for this series is going to be 1 part every 2 days. CHECK PINNED POST ON MY BLOG FOR MORE INFO

anyhow this is all fluff and smut at the end

a bit of angst at the beginning and a guaranteed full on smut chapter after this part

obvi warning SMUT

so lets get into it

Crowley Pov

Aziraphale asked Metabitch (new nickname ikr) to go talk with him abt the whole second coming bullshit and i know i was helping but wasn't sure how it involved me.

I figured I should just go up to the hotel room and sleep

But what if Aziraphale needs my help?

...I better follow him in.

As I walked in I saw Aziraphale and Metatron talking in the corner of the room, Aziraphale sat on the couch, Metahoe sat on a wooden chair. So I figured I'd go sit down by Aziraphale to sit in on their conversation.

"Does Crowley have to be here?" He groaned.

This bitch-

Aziraphale must have been sensing my thoughts because he put a hand on my thigh, which I wasn't sure if it was to ground him or me but it was working.

"I mean he will be the one doing this whole switch with me yes? So I would guess you'd rather Crowley be here and understand the plan rather than just get us killed because you are acting like a child. Am I correct?"

That's my boyfriend right there. The Metahoe just sat there sort of stunned and before he could answer Aziraphale went on to tell him our plan.

Time skip to after Aziraphale tells him because I'm a lazy overworked bitch.

"Well that plan does indeed sound well thought out. I think this will be fine to do. But in the meantime I think you 2 better go over it more. You have 4 days till the switch and only 1 try to get it right so I figure you better use your time wisely. Also say any goodbyes needed..just in case....you know."

As much as me and Aziraphale (or Aziraphale and I, idk english rn its 1:21 AM) hated to hear that it, it was true. There is a very big chance this all goes south and we end up discorporated or even possibly erased from the book of life.

"Yes we understand."

"Very well then I shall be off to go back to Heaven, and er..Crowley?"

What does this hoe want now???

"Yes?"

"May I talk to you outside..alone?"

"Oh..er sure?"

So I got up and followed him out, glancing back to see a confused and worried Aziraphale.

Aziraphale POVVVV

As Crowley walked out with the Metatron I was very worried and scared.

What if he threatened him? Or what if he told him something wrong so he wouldn't trust me anymore?

Crowley wouldn't believe that surely. Right?

I waited for around 3 minutes hoping Crowley walked inside soon.

Crowley Pov (a bit of angst here)

As soon as we walked up the Metahoe grabbed me by the arm and walked me to the corner of the parking lot.

"Uh, ow?"

"Oh don't be a baby. Why did you forgive Aziraphale?"

"Wha-?''

"Don't be dumb. I know you didn't just forgive him for no reason, you must have another motive."

Who the fuck does this man think he is?

"What the fuck? I forgave Aziraphale because I want to be with him, not because I need something of my own benefit to do so. You and me are not the same. I'm not a bad person like you are"

He scoffed. "You're a demon. A fallen angel. That's all you'll ever be to Aziraphale and you know it, don't try t-"

"Get away from him. Now."

It was Aziraphale.

"Oh Aziraphale hello! All me and Crowley was talking ab-"

"Save it. I heard the whole entire thing. You really have no idea what love is. I'm not dating Crowley for some crazy weird revenge reason and neither him for me. We are together because we like each other, and have liked each other for the past 4,000 years and we are sick of pretending we don't."

The metabitch just stared at Aziraphale stunned, while I walked forward, grabbed my Angels hand, and we walked into the hotel.

"You really didn't have to say all of that you kn-"

I was cut off by Aziraphale lips crashing into mine. I could tell it was desperate but he wouldn't go anywhere with it seeing as we were in public. After only a few seconds he pulled away and got all serious with me.

"I didn't just say it to piss the Metatron off, i said it because it is true. I do love you Crowley, and have loved you for a while now. And as I was saying. I'm sick of pretending I don't."

I didn't even know what to say. But I knew what I wanted him to say.

"Say it again."

"W-what?"

"I want to hear you say- no. I want to make you moan these words. You've gotten me all worked up all day, and I think it's about time that I do something about it."

He smirked up at me.

"Really?"

"Yea really, c'mon let's go to the elevator please."

My pants were fucking killing me.

"Make me."

PART 9 DONE

i know its shit, i'll write you a better part tomorrow. I'm just so tired and need to sleep, but get ready for a smut filled chapter, like smutty smut

anyhow goodnight everyone, it's 1:40 AM and i have math and social studies homework to do while also needing to wake up at 5AM

fucking save me

[catgirlbussy]

i wanna know what its like to have someone touch my boobs. But like, specifically if they aren't enthusiastic and supportive and excited and loving about it I would probably collapse instantly into a blank void. So now I'm here and too shy to ever let pretty much anyone touch me in about any way but also want someone to do so so badly. I know I could just be a slut and probably have that pretty quickly, but the cost for my emotions would be too high ;w;. I don't have /any/ disrespect for sluttiness either, I wish so bad I could be slutty and then finally have those experiences now that I've accepted I'm trans. I feel like baseline I'm pretty constantly aroused, but now I'm so lustful at this point. Unfortunately it feels like I'll be waiting for a million year trust building phase, cause if I don't I'll go into complete panic even just being near people. My prog is officially increased on my script now to, and my boobs are more sensitive than ever. This is all my fault ;w; i am a scared hoe. The references to touch-starved trans girls on tumblr feels so real to me. It's been 5+ years since I've had any affectionate physical touch, and I'm lucky if in a given month 1 person hugs me once. If I ever get to the point where I trust someone I will want them to constantly touch me and hold me and be intimate with me when I feel like I can handle it and I feel like a complete mess cause idk who would even want that level of hunger for attention. "if you're too desperate noone will want you" idk what else to do yo. I just feel so distant from everything. I'm contemplating putting my bio to some shit like will complete tasks for affection.

[spongebob-connoisseur]

can you rate some sbsp ships? idk i think it’s fun seeing peoples opinions on them haha

Oh sure! I feel like I did this before but I can't find the original post so I'll do it again 👌

I don't particularly ship any of the sb characters so its going to be mostly my thoughts.

Squidbob - 6.5/10 - I'm going to get hate but I never cared for the sunshine x grumpy ships. I don't hate it. In fact it's probably the only type of sunshine x grumpy ship that I'm not completely indifferent to. Spongebob is super affectionate towards squid and Squid doesn't want to admit he cares for him but he does. It already has a good set up. Its cute. I'm not a ride or die for it but its nice.

Tho for a long time I assumed Squid was way older than Spongebob (before the age changes from kamp koral) which is also why I never got around to shipping them. I think squid is still a little older but by 2-3 years.

Patbob - 6.5/10 - Same rating as squidbob. Tho I prefer silly x silly ships so I feel like I'll be a little biased towards this one. I feel like I previously would have given this a lower rating but recent episodes make me like it a little bit more. Particularly more recent episodes showing hoe much Patrick cares for spongebob and defends him and even gets a little jealous when someone else gets some of SB's affection. Its too cute and I want more of it <3 I'll just pretend the jerky Patrick episodes don't exist.

Patsquid - 6/10. - a recent one! Episodes like Squisery and Pat Hearts Squid is what prompted it. I never thought Squidward and Patrick would ever get along but they do! And very well. Patrick is very enthusiastic to learn and do whatever Squid is learning and Squidward has someone who's actually interested in him. Patrick is very malleable and Squidward can easily mold him into what he wants. But even without that, they can have fun together. Unexpected duo but one I really enjoy watching.

Spandy - 3/10 - I remember folks on DA were ride or die for this ship. I on the other hand just don't see it. She's like a big sister figure to him. This is the one ship I just can't get around to liking. Its just there. No beef to anyone who likes it.

Plabs - 7.5/10 - the angst fics and stuff are what makes it interesting. SB fans took the episode Friend or Foe and used it to fuel most of this ship. That episode sits on the shoulders of god. On a surface level they don't seem much interesting. Two enemies who fight every week or so. But the show ended up developing their relationship a lot in seasons 4-5 and folks just can't let it go. Two childhood best friends who ended up having a fight and falling out with each other. But they still fight as adults just so they can see each other. Both of them getting depressed when the other has "moved on". They can't be together because of pride but they also can't stand to be apart from each other. High quality fanfiction material.

They like each other but they also would never admit it. But one would sabotage the other so they'd never leave them. They have so much potential. I wish more recent episodes would go into this further. I really want more of it.

Idk they sorta remind me of the quote "You construct intricate rituals which allow you to touch the skin of other men" Yeah that's these two specifically.

I really want to see these two break the cycle and actually face their feelings lol

Plankaren - 2/10 - if we're talking about the musical characters tho then it gets 7/10. But in the main show. Nah. Plankton is just horrible to Karen. I feel sorry for her a lot of the time. She desperately wants his affection but this man would rather smooch his enemy than her. I get why she's like that. She should poison her husband. As a lil treat <3

Tho their musical counterparts are super cute. Two evil geniuses who want to take over the world and their love is fueled by their lust for tyranny. A match made in heaven <3

Karendy - 8/10 - super cute! I didn't expect to care for it much but recent episodes proved otherwise. They get along so well. Karen really has a type for geniuses. Except Sandy is actually nice to her and compliments her and the recent Gal Pals only made me enjoy their duo even more. I want more of it.

Puffkrabs - 5.5/10. I find the episode Krusty Love so cute and I would've given them a higher rating if I was just talking about that episode but male characters in SB often have a track record of being shit boyfriends/husbands so yeah. I REALLY don't like the direction their relationship has been going as of recent. I guess its inevitable but I always thought it was sweet that Krabs liked Puff so much that he didn't care about money for a moment. Also the fact that their both likely widows/widowers makes it somewhat interesting to me. But of course bad habits die hard and Mr. Krabs's love of money is harming their relationship and they nearly broke up. That's not even the main problem, since she doesn't care about money much. It's just him being a problem. Idk its kinda sad. I wish it could've been better but at least she isn't in Karen's shoes.

Squilliam/Squidward - 6.5/10 - (can't remember the ship name for this one) who doesn't want to see former high school sweethearts constantly feeling the need to one up each other? Of course they were never confirmed to be high school sweethearts but that's what I like to imagine where their beef began.

We have that thing where Squidward trying to imagine Squilliam in his underwear then going "oh no he's hot!". That's kinda fruity.

We have so many episodes where Squidward feels the need to impress Squilliam. Why do you as a man feel the need to impress other men? 🤔 and the bikini bottom inquirer episodes has Squilliam regularly call the news channel just to rant about Squidward. Squilliam always wants to act like he's so much better but if he was then he probably wouldn't be so obsessed with Squidward that he feels the need to call strangers on the news just to rant about him. Also I think Squilliam is probably pretty isolated so he likely has no one else to talk to. I feel like Perch allows Squilliam to call up just to talk smack about his ex knowing this guy still isn't over his feelings for him.

I enjoy the drama between two bitter exes. Makes for excellent entertainment. 👌

Larry/Squidward - 5.5/10 - they could have had it aaaaaall. The episode Squid plus one is what prompted this. They make for good friends and even more. But neither have much respect for each other's interests so they fell out. But imagine if they did learn respect for each other's interests? What if they held hands? They looked so happy with each other💔😿

Gale/Perch - 5.5/10 there's not much to go off of. They're both work at the news station. One is a reporter and the other is a weather guy. I feel like SB has a crush on Gale tho. I think this ship is more for self indulgence than any interesting character development. Still no beef. I kinda do want to see them interact more.

Squill/Perch - 6/10 - Squilliam constantly calling in to vent about Squidward is hilarious. Perch I'd just over it but instead of blocking Squilliam, he allows him to talk. There's potential in this. Rn Perch is probably Squilliam's only ""friend"" and is the only one he can really talk to. They can support each other and be friends. Or even more. Its funny i would've never thought this ship would be a thing but the bikini bottom inquirer is fueling content for it.

Slapferatu 5.5/10? - A recent contender! It's literally goth Squidbob. Kinda on the fence for this one. I like it but I somewhat don't know what to feel about it. Same grumpy x sunshine dynamic except its made spooky 👻. I like spooky things so its a little bit more digestable. I kinda want to see them interact a little bit more so I can judge better but the episodes we have, has some interesting stuff. Slappy is down BAD for Nosferatu. I mean that comes with being the Renfield in their relationship. Somehow I always thought Nosferatu would be much more harsher to Slappy like in a slapstick kind of way. Like barely tolerating him and being this 👌 close to killing him but doesn't because no one else would work for him. But he actually does like Slappy quite a bit and shows a lil affection, he treats him a lot nicer than I expected. Its sweet.

Also Slappy is self admitted to liking abuse. So uhh if he does get smacked around by Nosferatu then you know its consensual.

Still, uhh I kinda don't like how Slippy is getting sidelined by all this. I didn't know what to make of her when she was first introduced but now I like her and I like how she has a silly x silly thing going on with Laszlo so it's a little sad. SB characters stop being shit to ur gf/wife challenge. Tho I think she'd probably is fine with Laszlo devoting his undead life and soul to a vampire. I feel like she knows and she's fine with it. Probably gives him tips on how to woo the vampire.

There's some kind of absurdity to this ship because we have a 1922 german horror movie character being shipped with a fish parody of a dead Hungarian actor. If you use human!Slappy in this ship you'll see what I mean. There's also the same absurdity with Slippy/Slappy because they're both fish parodies of Peter Lorre. How does that work.

Idk if Slippy/Slappy is with mentioning on this list because there's not much to go off. So uhh yeah.

Anyways shout out to that one person who began shipping Slapferatu the moment the synopsis for Slappy Daze dropped. You're too powerful to live.

There ya go! The ship list. Hope ya enjoy it. I hope you print this out and use the paper to roll it into a fat blunt and smoke it. I hope you snort the ashes too 👍

[eldritchmochi]

Have you got any plans for haloween costumes?

I'm going as a burlesque interpretation of Frankenstein so it was nice(?) to see some staple inspo the other day.

I'll just be doing cheesy drawn on stitches though becuase I don't have the skill or patience for real special effects makeup anymore

i ammm actually noodling this now!!!

FOR CONTEXT because i dont think a lot of current followers are familiar with my job pre porn mines, but i did costuming consults for like 6 years (at value village lmao, so both lamer and much much harder than you think). i thusly have a fukken CRATE of costume pieces so i can throw together things willy nilly out of there if i want

however my REAL FORTE (especially given the premise i worked with at that job) is slapping together closet costumes out of my real clothes. everything i wear in my two pumkin head sets are just... normal ass clothes for me (okay the dress under the orange apron was not mine so not "normal" clothes per se but)

n e wai this month, depending on a) if i actually do anything (unlikely) and b) how much stamina i have after surgery AND covid booster, i have a couple of plans for some self shot photos. one is a proof of concept make up wise and the others are just me fucking around like a hoe because i think its funny, but since i ordered some grey paint to tone down my purple for essek ahead of dying gloves and im gonna experiment anyway.....

option one: something something saint imagery with some vibes from pulled from a couple of fanarts i dont have easy links to and Refuse to repost

i have

this halo crown by voodoodolly in black that we tried to mess around with when my cosbuddies were up the other year to take my first round of essek photos but just could not get to stay on my wig; combine it with a lot of like, glitter/pearl/rhinestone tears and sum ANGUISH : fun

pros: avante guard or whatever, makes me wanna get a sword for proper photos

cons: make up will take forever to put on AND take off (hence dry runs), i am not sure anything i'd want to wear for it currently fits??? apart from the corset but i curRENTLY HAVE A BUILT IN BUSK NO THANK YOU

option two: vampire essek lmao, which is realistically what i'd go with if i did end up doing something in a low plague risk environment with like, my sib or something. this might be what i throw on just to vibe check the paint tint adjustments, especially since bottoms would be just leggings (comf. also fuck i desperately need riding boots dont i)

consists of

the beloved blouse by haenuli (in black obviously), likely with my probably edwardian era wool mourning capelet (provided i wanna sew in a dirt/paint catch into the collar). nothing special make up wise beyond fangs, just testing paint colors and eyebrow pomade so i'd do everything else roughly the same as i have before

option three, the hoe option, which i am probably gonna attempt post dying the arm socks to experiment with some OTHER things, is boudoir photos essek. the pearl of rhosohna or something idk all i know is i have a bunch of vintage night gowns and peignoirs and i think it'd be funny. not sure what i would wear specifically i'd have to see what all in my stash fits but would incorporate this necklace (also by haenuli, based off one marie antoinette had)

(i do not own it but my sibling is down to let me borrow theirs. i tentatively want to spoof it to incorporate into an essek mantle anyway so this will be a good opportunity for me to fondle it

wrt stitches!!! you dont have to get extra! they definitely make stitch jewelry that you can buy for a couple of bucks and generally look better than drawn on. the trouble with drawn on stitches, especially around the neck, is they tend to smear (: so ive had a set of jewelry like this for years (mine were also tnbc sally themed, but from hot topic lol)

also obviously i want to go take Ominious Pumpkin Head Photos In The Woods but i need a spotter AND for it to not be raining for like five minutes when i'm not dying :(

[forkaround]

BL Awards - Fvcking would be less explicit

TBH, this is just me entertaining myself.

idk if this is something that comes over from BLs yaoi roots but holy fuck. This are scene that make me wonder:

WHAT IS GOING ON INSIDE THIER HEADS? (affectionate)

(BL Awards: At the end of an amazing year of absolute chaos in the world of BL. I come to you with my favorite moments of the year divided into categories that would not make it into any respectable Award show. But this is Tumblr. You know what you signed up for.) (what is going on inside their head (derogatory))

Minato + Sheet (Minato Shouji Coin Laundry)

Honestly this moment was insane. Easily the most insane moment if it wasn't for GAP. Shin is just a horny, horny teenager. Look at him tuck his head behind his ear. Look at him come up with an excuse to touch Minato. "I'm feeling the sheets". Yeah, you sure are.

Eternal Yesterday - Bite the Ear

I started this show only after seeing the gifs for this moment. And promptly dropped it. There wasn't any way this would have ended happy and I have already had 180 Degrees break my heart this year. I don't need more. I can't help but wonder, in moments like there, what are the actors thinking? Do they think this is absolutely insane? How do they do this? Honestly props to all actors, especially Japanese ones who seem to get such scenes the most.

The Eclipse - Smelling Ayan's Jacket

This was the moment I knew I was going to love this character. All that repression and then he smells Ayan's jacket the first chance he gets. I don't think I will ever get over this. And the fact that Ayan caught him. Boy is kinder than me. I won't stop making fun of Akk for this. Akk is thinking: If enemy why nice smell?

180 Degrees - Flirting over Philosophy

Let's face it, one gif can't do this justice. Every second they were together in a room, alone or having a philosophical battle was charged with more electricity than a power grid. How did it end like that? I know how and tbf there was almost no other way this could have ended but I wish, so desperately, it could have. Also, I'm a philosophy hoe, I can talk for hours and hours.

Pharm - Confessing love in food (Until We Meet Again)

(I couldn't find a gif for the moment so you get this insanely cute moment)

This wasn't this year but I saw it this year so it counts. It's the shy way Pharm explains what Bun Lan Dan Mek means and Dean's response "Who taught you to talk like that?" Insane. Pharm is the tinniest littlest guy and the audacity to make him say he was wishing for a happy married life by making this. Insane.

SamMon - Bite nose Bite lip (GAP the series)

It's a good thing I such at time management or this scene won't have made the list. Again, Just what are they thinking? And this time it's also what are the characters thinking? Sam if you want to kiss her just kiss her. No need to create intricate rituals. Your grandmother isn't here.

I can't believe this is something I get sometimes. It feels so surreal to have so much to watch, chew and brain-rot over. Tarif karu kya uski jisne tumhe banaya. (smt like what praise should I give to the one who made you)

[i-tbd]

Am i not good enough? Why does it always happen to me. He left. Another guy left. I kissed him and he left. Fuck my life. I wanna leave too. I wanna leave this fucking pain of not being with someone or feeling lonely. It should be okay right? To not be with someone. Why am I so desperate. I didn't even know what I wanted and what I didn't. Why am I still sad cause he left.

I was so so freaking excited to meet him. But he texts me that in the morning, it just doesn't feel good after that. We couldve met, he could've told me that face to face rather than text dumping. I just wanted to go out. I liked someone's attention to me. Someone who's focus is on me when with me. I like that yes so what everyone needs attention sometimes you can't always get it and never focus on the other person for when they need the feelings to reciprocate. Its not like i don't get attention from the friends i have, its just that a special attention from a special someone is different. It sucks it hurts why was I so attached. Whyd that kiss happen, why me.

The other guy left after kissing me and touching me in places. He left after kissing me. Were never gonna meet again. It sucks. It just doesn't feel good that you're with someone and they leave after you invite him to your house. God I'm gonna get such bad looks from the guard again whenever i bring a guy home. He'd be like 'shes such a hoe' gosh. Anyway idk what to say. Its okay ig. I get where he's coming from but it still hurts.

I'm done with guys until I find someone in real life who actually likes me genuinely and isn't confused 😭 where is my college romance🫠

Why why why can't I get over you? Fuck. I'm down bad. I keep thinking about you. Keep getting the thoughts inside my head. I wanna be fucking over you already. Why can't I stop thinking about you? About us? Why can't I stop? Why were you so addicting. Why did you make me catch feelings, it sucks. Everyone around me has someone. I lost you, i lost Jordon. That's very bad of me to think about Jordon that way. He doesn't deserve to be thought about that day. Fuck why do I like you. Why can't I stop thinking about you. Fuck. I'm not over you. I'm not I'm definitely not. Text me. Text me like we used to talk. I know you can't, i can't. I wanna send him something. Anything. Just something. I wanna talk to him fuck.

I can't do this. I can't text him. I shouldn't text him. That's wrong. That's desperate. Don't do it. Don't send him that cat. Get over him. He said it himself, i deserve someone who likes as much as I do. I don't fucking want anyone else to like me, i want him to like me. I want to kiss him again. To feel his touch again. To feel his fingers in me, to feel his weight over me to feel his hand on my bare body. To feel his skin, the softness of his lips against mine, the feel of his body on mine. Fuck arushi don't. Don't do this. Don't think about it. I need a distraction. I can't get a distraction, i can't. Fuck

Get over it. Get over him. That's all you need to do. To forget about a person. You've done it before. You might find someone else someone better someone closer to your age. But that's the thing there's no one. He understood me. He understood If I'm late he understood me. Damn.

I need to get over him. Fuck. I'm down bad.

[aajjks]

Hi I'm a hugeee fan of ur works I'm always looking for updates from u n especially I was veryyy excited for the price of love but please please this is no hate can you please tone down yns character abit 😭🙏 I loveee all ur characters in all ur stories every one of them has such a vibe but pls the yn in the teaser of tpol seemed like a vibe but the yn is chapter 1 of tpol seems so stupid so hyper n just downright seems like a side character rather than the main n just so different from the teaser one like this just doesn't go with the storyline I feel like.

AGAIN I LOVE YOU N ALL UR WORKS n idk all ur works the way you portray your works n the situations just everything so beautifully n just screams it was written by ajjkks but the chapter one legit seemed like it was written by a wholeass different person like yns character seemed super hyper n just the whole chapter seemed so immature

The teaser had me drippingg but the forst chapter was just not it🥺

Btw I dont mean to discourage you at all you r a fuckin gem n all of ur works r just soo ahhh *chefs kiss* most of my friends are jungkook hoes so I always recommend them your page

okay.

I really appreciate your kindness!!! and your polite words, love for me n my works!

But see here’s the thing. When I wrote the teaser, a year ago, it was written from very far into the future of tpol. The yn in the teaser knew just how powerful this jk was… been through some serious stuff, she knew jungkook.

But the yn in chapter one is just a struggling adult. She doesn’t know how to rightly handle or act in awkward situations. In my personal opinion. She’s not cringe or immature or even too hyper.

My every single yn and jungkook are different and the both of them are a contrast to each other,

like tc yn is quite, depressed. while tc jungkook is batshit crazy and very lovey in an aggressive and toxic way.

noona yn from the love bites saga is mature, she is a woman who is successful but lonely, she is very mature and calm, unlike bunny koo who’s way too immature and dependent.

mommy issues jk is shy, stupid and kinda unstable, submissive, while mi yn is mature, confident and very private. You can never really tell what’s going on in her mind. She knows how to carry herself.

and now finally, tpol yn is desperate, depressed and stupid. unlike her jungkook who’s dominant, powerful and very observant!

They are all very perfect for each other and to their storylines! tpol yn is someone you are going to hate or love at the same time, her character development will bring a huge twist in the story! ❤️

and plz I beg you to write my username correctly 😭🙏❤️ and if you still feel like I’ve disappointed you with tpol you’re free to abandon this blog!

tysm for your love! ❤️

[sweetsugarsuffering]

Day 4 July 20th

Put my 2 weeks in Today! Just gotta get these last 3 days of overtime. I'll save the biggest amount I have left in my chart with rent included and look for another job this weekend. He owes me so much in tips that I may be able to hit 2 rows on my savings chart instead of one. I've been doing it by rows instead of days unless I get a windfall or a lot in cash tips. Need a new job ASAP. He's a bit "surprised" that I'm quitting as if I've had a great time working here. Like he ignores me when I tell him stuff, lied about how much work I'd have to do during the interview and now is trying to argue about health and safety regulations with his OPINION. Not facts. Men are always so surprised when you ACT instead of threaten or complain but they only respond to actions so idk what the fuck they want. He's so pathetic and trying his damnedest to get me in my emotions so I can just be a yes girl for him when I don't give a fuck about him. Men have learned how to manipulate emotions but they can't if you simply do not care or are not desperate. Can't believe Hoe Culture has helped me drop a bad job.

Workout- 15 min before work, 25 min walk

Breakfast- Banana Vanilla Protein shake

Lunch- tuna sandwich

Snack- protein candy bar

Dinner- Salmon and tomato

Protein- 157 grams

Water intake- 72 oz

Dropping weight kinda fast but I need to. Goal weight is 121/123.