#i'm gonna hold back the rest of my thoughts for another post tho

[iholdwhatican]

tension

part two to reunions - must read part 1 first!

pairing: art donaldson x reader x patrick zweig

length: 3.2k

author's note: this took wayyyy too long for me to do yall, i'm so sorry. these two have a tight hold on me and i'm in the trenches. i've got some good stuff lined up tho, and i'm super excited to write it heeheehee :) also smut in the future will be much longer and much more detailed, just fyi

tags: y/n is art donaldson's wife ; birthday party ; art is down bad ; patrick wants y/n ; possessive!art ; the boys are fighting ; no use of y/n ; pining ; sexual tension ; sugar mommy y/n? ; unapologetic flirting with your bff's wife at his birthday party

warnings: sexual content, p in v, not super detailed but still there!

summary: the stressful night of the birthday party continues, and you find yourself pinging between art and patrick like a tennis ball. how the hell did you get yourself into this?

originally posted by iholdwhatican

It took four minutes and 36 seconds of Art and Patrick being alone outside before the anxiety became too much. Your dress was too tight against your skin and the chatter of the guests rattled in your skull. Your mind replayed the anger on Art’s face over and over, convinced that he’d direct it at you the moment he came back in. And if you were being honest, you couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss. 

Your blood boiled with the ferocity of it, and an ache in your core begged for another taste. 

Another three minutes and 18 seconds passed while you downed half of your second glass of wine. You made conversation with a few people who caught your eye, making sure all the food and drink were up to par. Not that you really could care about that right now. Your mind was a jumble of thoughts about the two men on the balcony. 

Art, Patrick, Art, Patrick, Art, Patrick, Art, Patrick

“You look like you’re gonna puke.” 

For the second time that night, Patrick Zweig’s voice made you jump. 

You looked at him, catching sight of that damned smirk that made your stomach flip, and furrowed your brows. One quick scan of the room came up empty for your husband, forcing the anxiety in your chest to worsen. 

“Where’s Art?” You asked, not missing the way your voice wobbled slightly. 

“Relax.” Patrick responded, resting a hand on your shoulder, “He went to the kitchen, I think. I didn’t kill him. And he didn’t run for the hills either.” 

You decided not to comment on how easily he’d read your worries without you saying anything. For some reason, you were an open book to him. 

A deep sigh left you. You licked your lips anxiously- which immediately caused Patrick’s eyes to fall on your mouth. 

“What happened out there?” 

The man gave you a shrug, letting his hand fall back to his side, “Nothing, really. We just talked for a bit. He told me I could stay, as long as I stopped flirting with you.” 

“So does that mean you’re going to stop?” The idea made you slightly unhappy, which in turn filled you with guilt. Why were you so excited by his flirtations when you had a wonderful, loving husband who treated you like a queen? 

But then Patrick grinned, and you knew the answer before he said it, “Well, I’ve never been one to do what I’m told.” 

A smile grew over your lips, and you tried to hide it with an eye roll, “Why don’t you mingle? Try some food. I’m going to find my husband.” 

He didn’t miss the enunciation you put on ‘my husband’, and you didn’t miss the way his eyes darkened as you said it. You didn’t give it time to linger, instead turning away and moving towards the kitchen. 

You knew the look Patrick had in his eyes. You’d seen it a dozen times in Art’s. On the court, over a board game, in all sorts of scenarios. And every time, even now, the look sent a chill down your spine. 

That expression was clear, resolute competition. 

Just as Patrick had said, you found Art in the kitchen. With his back to you, you had a perfect view of his tense shoulders and hanging head as he poured himself a glass of water. He was all wound up, and you knew it was your fault. Now it was your responsibility to fix it. 

You stepped up behind him, sliding a hand between his shoulder blades. He didn’t hesitate to lean into the touch, a subconscious reaction. He knew it was you just by the feel of your hand on him. And, even if he might be furious, he still found comfort in it. 

“Hey…” You breathed, leaning to the side to meet his gaze. Art looked at you over his shoulder, a half-smile quirking his lips up, “How are you doing?” 

“Hey.” He responded, turning and sliding his hands over your hips. Your chest pressed against his as he leaned down and placed a kiss on your hairline. Then he just lingered there, breathing in your smell, “I honestly don’t know. I just- it was so weird to see him.” 

“Yeah, of course it was.” Your words reached him in a soft, comforting tone. The guilt of putting your perfect, doting husband in this situation was enough to make you feel like you had barbed wire around your neck. You had to pay penance- somehow. You rubbed your hand in circles over his back, “I’m sorry, sundrop. I don’t know what I was thinking when I invited him.” 

Sundrop. A nickname that went way back to the early days of your relationship. Art was an energetic puppy dog with a halo of golden curls and a smile that made your insides feel hot. He was what you pictured a personification of the sun to be, hence the pet name. He pretended not to like it, but his eyes always sparkled a certain way when you said it. 

Art pulled his head away to peer down into your eyes, his own pensive and confused, “No, baby, don’t be sorry. It was a great fucking surprise. Just… a surprise.” 

You shook your head. He was so fucking good to you, “You’re allowed to be mad at me.” 

“Mad? At you?” In one quick motion, he picked you up and set you on the counter. Your legs opened for him without hesitation, allowing him to slot right in between them, “I don’t think that’s possible.”

You fought the blush rising in your cheeks and rolled your eyes, “You think too highly of me.” 

“No. Never.” He replied instantly. He kissed your chin. Then your jaw. Then your neck. Then down your throat, “As far as I’m concerned, you’re God.” 

“Art-” You argued, though you weren’t sure what for. You tilted your neck back and offered yourself up to him. 

“I could spend my life on my knees for you and be happy.” His words were muffled as he mouthed at your neck, sending shivers down your spine. This, combined with the kiss from earlier, was making you ache with need. You were half-tempted to end the party early and take your pretty husband to bed. 

You bit your lip when he ran his tongue over a sensitive spot above your collarbone. If he wasn’t in between them, you’d be squeezing your thighs together. 

When Art pulled away, his eyes had darkened. Dilated pupils and heavy breaths told you all you needed to know. He was just as fucking horny as you were right now. His hands held your hips tighter. 

“Do you think we’d be left alone long enough for me to show you how much I mean it?” He asked. It was almost as if he were begging. As if he couldn’t bear the idea of doing anything other than dropping to his knees and devouring you. 

And God, when he looked at you like that, you had no choice but to say yes. 

Unfortunately, fate intervened, and you were kept from making a scene at your husband’s birthday party. 

“Hey, you two, quit snogging and come entertain us!” One of Art’s tennis friends called, sticking their head into the kitchen. The big grin on their face told you it was just teasing, but you still felt your face burning with embarrassment. 

“It’s my birthday, let me do what I want.” Art jeered right back, lifting you off the counter and back onto your own two feet. You laughed airily at the comment, feeling more light-headed than anything. 

Before following his friend back into the action, he whispered a quick, “Later, okay?” to you. And then he left you standing in the kitchen- touch-starved, foggy-headed, and excruciatingly aroused. 

It was then that you realized you didn’t even get to ask him what happened with Patrick.

Upon re-entering the party, you found yourself taking note of two things- or rather, two people. One, Art- conversing with some friends from the foundation with a big grin on his face. Two, Patrick- having his fill of finger foods from the refreshment table. He was alone. And though you tried to fight it, you found yourself gravitating towards him. 

“Do they not have food where you’re from?” You teased, falling into place at his side. Your gaze slid over the spread before flicking up to his face. 

You’d caught him mid-bite, and he attempted to swallow quickly and regain his composure. Something warmed slightly in your chest. Endearing. 

“Well, I’m kinda… in between places right now.” He explained, tongue stuck in his cheek to clear out residual bits of food, “And there’s never stuff as good as this.” 

You let the compliment slide away, instead focusing on his more troubling response, “Are you homeless?” 

“What? No.” He chuckled, as if the question were preposterous, “I go all over for tennis. It’s just easier to stay on the move.” 

You raised an eyebrow, “And on off-season?” 

Something in his expression darkened, only for a moment, and then he was back to cocky smiles and overwhelming confidence, “I’m too busy to care about that. And what’s it matter to you, anyway?” 

“I’d like to think I’m a good person.” You said, plucking a snack off the table and popping it into your mouth. You chewed it halfway before continuing, “And a good person worries if they think someone they care about isn’t doing well.” 

Patrick grinned at you for five long seconds. And it took him actually saying the words to realize where you’d slipped up. 

“You care about me?” 

Shit. You had not meant to say that. Why was this man so damn good at getting every little thought in your head to spill out of your mouth? 

“If caring about you means I don’t want you sleeping under a bridge somewhere, then sure.” 

“Okay, I would never let it get that far-” 

“I wanna help.” 

He blinked, “Help how?” Briefly, very briefly, you thought of your bed. Your comfortable, spacious bed, perfect for three individuals. You could picture it- you, safe and sound and nestled between the two men. Art, your lovely, obedient husband on one side, letting himself love and be loved. And Patrick on the other side, nice and cozy with a roof over his head and a full belly. 

The image flashed in an instant, and you were left with hollow, heavy guilt. You swallowed. 

“How much do you need?” 

“Huh?” You rolled your eyes at him, “How much money do you need? To keep you afloat for the next little while. And I’ll send you home tonight with leftovers.” 

Patrick let the words wash over him, slowly smiling as they did. He took a step towards you, close enough that one tiny shove would have your bodies pressed together. You could smell him, all sweat and cigarettes and woodsy cologne that made your head spin. You’d been wound up all night, and this was absolutely not helping. 

“You gonna write me a check? Use your hard-earned money to get a practical stranger a hotel for a couple nights?” He murmured, heavy on the charm, “What would your husband think?” 

He knew he’d gotten under your skin. He knew what he was doing. He was fucking enjoying this. 

You tried to hold your ground, looking up at him through your lashes, “It’s his money, actually. He makes sure I never have to work unless I want to.” 

“Guess he treats you pretty well. And look how you’re taking advantage of it.” His hand lay on the table next to yours, his fingertips nearly brushing the skin of your wrist. How bad would it be if you closed the gap? 

You bit your lip, “You’re allowed to turn me down.” 

“I don’t think I’d ever turn you down, Mrs. Donaldson.” 

Something about that title, something about the way he said it, made your blood run hot and cold at the same time. It reminded you of the myths of sirens. Beautiful monsters of the sea that used their voices to bring others to their demise. Talking to Patrick had that same type of allure, and the sense of danger. 

“Then tell me what you need.” 

“What do you think I need?” 

Oh, you could think of a few things. But you could also feel a pair of eyes on you, and you knew exactly who they belonged to. Part of you wanted to tempt him, see if you could get another reaction like out on the balcony. However, you quickly shot the idea down. Not right now, not in the middle of a crowded party.

Lips curving into an innocent smile, you pushed yourself a step back from him, “I think you need a nice place to sleep. And a few good meals. And maybe a hug.” 

The sudden switch-up took Patrick by surprise, but he handled it smoothly and responded only a beat later, “You’re offering?” 

“At least for the first two.” You didn’t know what you’d do if you were in his arms. With the way you were feeling now, with two glasses of wine in your system, your boundaries were getting blurrier and blurrier. How humiliating. 

His bottom lip jutted out into a pout. Which unfortunately dragged your gaze right down to his mouth. It took you a moment too long to meet his eyes again. 

“What, we can’t hug? Don’t you consider me a friend?” 

“I do.” You shrugged, tucking loose hair behind your ear, “Maybe I’m just not a touchy person.” 

A lie. You knew it, and you could tell by the look on his face that he knew it too.

“Yeah.” He smirked, sounding the opposite of sincere, “Art’s wife isn’t a touchy person. Sure.” 

You needed a cold shower. Or to go have some one-on-one time with your vibrator. Or maybe move to the seaside and spend your days going mad in a lighthouse. You weren’t sure. All you knew was how increasingly hot you were feeling. 

“Speaking of Art, go talk to him. Try to make amends. Meet some of his friends.” You suggested, glancing over at your husband. He wasn’t watching you anymore, at least not straight on. But he had a radar when it came to you, and he was very diligent in keeping tabs. No matter what.

“You trying to get rid of me?” Patrick asked lightly. No heat behind the words. 

“Oh, yes.” You admitted, placing your hands on his shoulders and pointing him towards Art, “Find me again before you leave and I’ll have your check.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” He grinned at you over his shoulder, sending a wink before sauntering off. 

Finally, you felt like you could actually get a breath in your lungs. 

The party had ended. Guests went home, Patrick got his check and headed to a hotel you recommended, and you and your partner left all the cleanup for the morning. You barely gave it a second glance as you went up to bed with him, your hand held tightly in his. 

Art fucked you like a starving man that night. You barely got into the room before his lips were plastered on your skin, his hands unzipping your dress with quick precision. He was usually much more reserved, but something about tonight had made him ravenous. And he wasn’t the only one.

You ended up on his lap; bare chests pressed together, skin sweaty and breaths heavy as you rolled your hips into him. His hands clutched your thighs, keeping you close, fingers pressing into the flesh. You pulled on his hair and his head immediately fell back. As if he were a puppet for you to position and use however you wanted. His eyes looked up at you with a fire in them you’d never seen before, but the adoration, the reverence, was all too familiar. 

Your name fell from his lips over and over again like a prayer. The single word weaved with threads of devotion, possessiveness, desire. A song joined in chorus by whatever nonsensical phrase entered his head. I love you, so perfect, all mine, please, please, please. 

He was claiming you. Marking his territory in his own special way. It didn’t matter that Patrick wasn’t here to see it, or that he probably would never even know. As long as Art could tell himself that you were his, he’d be okay. Jealousy was a good look on him. 

You could feel your core tighten with each and every movement of his hips against you. You weren’t going to last much longer. But by the look in your husband’s eyes, neither was he. 

Parted lips claimed yours in a messy kiss, tongue sliding into your mouth and exploring every open space. Then you were being flipped over; back pressed into the mattress as Art rocked into you with reckless abandon. He intertwined his fingers with yours and pinned your hands above your head without ever breaking the kiss. 

You lasted about thirty seconds. Finally, the tension in you snapped and your orgasm washed over you in waves, leaving you limp and trembling. Art finished only a moment later. You could feel him pulsing inside of you as the aftershocks slowly faded away. The room reeked of sweat and sex and your head was spinning. 

Art, your precious, dutiful man, rested his head on your chest as he attempted to catch his breath. You could feel the tickle of his lips kissing your skin, the soft squeeze of his hands on your hips. You ran a hand through his damp hair, fingers massaging his scalp. 

“I love you.” He murmured against your ribs, right over your thundering heart. He said it like he couldn’t quite believe he was allowed, like he didn’t believe you were here, that you were his. 

Dark hair and cigarette smoke flashed through your mind. Almost-touching hands and paper checks. 

“I love you.” You responded, kissing his hairline, “Happy Birthday, baby.” 

The only response you got was a tired, happy sound and another kiss to your collarbone. A quick adjustment later and the two of you were tucked under the blankets, your head on Art’s chest and his arm around you. Neither of you cared enough to clean yourselves up or to put pajamas on. Art was already softly snoring next to you, and you could feel your eyelids getting heavy.

As you listened to the baddump of his heart, a strange thought flitted through your mind. You’d just had the best sex of your life, and it was because of Patrick. You weren’t the only one who’d been thinking of him while in the throes of passion. The notion made something strange twinge in your gut. 

And then, like he’d somehow read your mind, your phone lit up with a text. 

Patrick Zweig: You free for lunch tomorrow?

***

Taglist: 

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[lowkeyrobin]

New anon here, love your writting

Cellbit mayhaps 👉👈

Possibly Ordem Paranormal👉👈

(no rush tho, take as much time as you need*

ooo yeah sure! ; idrk much about ordem paranormal so I apologize, I did something kind of like it though! ; also tysm! I'm glad you enjoy my writing 🫶 I'm in my flop era atm so yk how that's going LMFAO ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy anon! ; this is super short and dumb, I apologize ; also getting this out of my drafts now cause I might not post for a few days while I get shit sorted out lol

CELLBIT ; paranormal investigation

summary ; exploring an abandoned home with cellbit

warnings ; language, mentions of knives for self defense

disclaimers ; didn't use their real names because I don't think they're okay with it so if it seems a little abundant with names, that's why

word count ; 1.2k

masterlist

"Why would I ever agree to do this with you?" You sigh, your index finger and thumb rubbing the bridge of your nose.

"Cause we're gonna find ghosts" He smiles, pulling you and Roier inside. He holds the gopro up a bit, catching your unamused look at him.

You enter the house, walking into the living room. The windows were completely busted out, leaving glass shards resting on the couch under the window and outside in the overgrown grass. Bullet holes are lodged into the adjacent wall, a few having hit the box TV, which was dated back to around the 70s.

"How long has this place been abandoned?" You ask.

Cellbit shrugs, "Since the early 80s or so"

"Damn," Roier mutters, carefully opening the door into a closet. He scans the rack of coats, most torn up and weathered down. He spots a spider in the corner and quickly shuts it, not wanting to confront the insect.

You slowly walk into the kitchen, shining your flashlight over the old appliances. This house was literally trapped in the late 70s to early 80s. It was like a time capsule. An abandoned one at that. Graffiti is sprayed over the backsplash, reading something like someone's Instagram handle in purple.

"I don't think we're finding ghosts here, dude"

"You never know"

You open up the cabinets around the kitchen, wanting to see if anything was left. Some scattered pots, pans, and other dishes remain, like the people who lived here packed up as quickly as possible and left half of their things behind.

Roier finds a plate shaped like Mickey Mouse, with the famous face painted onto it, said paint chipping off in some spots. He holds it up, showing it to you and Cellbit.

"Look, it's you, Y/n!" Roier smiles.

"Shut the fuck up" You laugh.

You hear something crash and break in another room, something light, like glass. You jump back, accidently knocking into Cellbit. Roier stands frozen, eyes widened as he looks at the two of you.

He whispers, "The hell was that?"

You slowly turn to look between Roier and Cellbit, making it clear you weren't going to be the one to investigate. Roier quickly shakes his head, looking up at the other man to go investigate himself.

He glances between the two of you before rolling his eyes and slowly walking toward the hallway where the noise came from. He scans the bathroom as he passes the door, nothing.

He creeps to the first bedroom, seeing broken glass scattered upon the old, rickety wooden floor. A whole spot was sunbleached, leaving it much lighter and faded than the rest of the floor, a spot laying in front of the window. He looks back, slightly nodding as he looks back.

You quietly share a look with Roier, sharing regretful thoughts about being here.

Cellbit leans into the room, softly grabs the doorknob, and pulls the door shut. You listen to the soft click as he makes sure it's totally shut, and look at the camera in your boyfriend's hand.

"What the fuck" You softly whisper, "Was there someone in there? Or something?" You ask as he quietly trails back to you.

He shakes his head no.

"I'm scared someone's actually here, can we leave? I don't wanna stumble upon some fucking freak ready to turn us into the next plot of some cheap slasher movie" You speak with worry, arms crossed.

Roier quietly agrees with a nod of the head, leaning into you a bit as he feels a shiver run up his spine. You feel a slight zephyr brush against your skin, causing goosebumps to quickly jump up as you stand in fear while now freezing under your jacket.

You feel some qualms as Cellbit walks toward the stairs, wanting to explore more. You shake your head no, begging him with your speechlessness to not go up.

"Dude," Roier whisper-shouts, "We're leaving if you go up there"

In reply, he devilishly smiles and quickly walks up the stairs, leaving you two starstruck in the kitchen below.

"I'm not going out there without that knife"

"Me neither"

"I actually hate you" You whisper, hiding behind Cellbit as Roier was doing the same with you.

"You love me, darling," He snickers. "C'mon," He says, investigating the top floor, consisting of another bathroom, two bedrooms, and some storage looking room at the end.

A door loudly slams in front of you, the storage room at the end of the hall. You feel yourself jump out of your skin and feel Roier's hands twitch and flinch on your shoulders.

"Nope, bye" You quickly turn around, rushing down the stairs to get the fuck out. Roier follows you, now equipped with the knife Cellbit had in his pocket.

Cellbit, after a few moments of thinking, dips as well, following you two out of the door. You notice as you look behind yourself as you pull the door open.

"I thought you said you wouldn't get scared of any doors?" You loudly speak.

"I'm scared there's an actual human here, go!"

You three quickly jump off the porch and dart into the woods away from the house and toward the car. As you run, Roier looks back, then screams as he runs faster.

"There was someone in the window!"

You push brush and dead leaves out of your way, being pricked as you run deeper into the woods. The trail here was already densely covered and needed some reshaping, but it felt even worse now.

"Left!" Cellbit shouts behind you, directing you the correct way through the trees.

You swerve left, soon revealing the car parked on the side of the road. You watch as the car beeps, unlocks and the headlights flicker on as Cellbit uses the automatic start on his keys. You jump in the front, Roier right behind you as he jumps into the back.

Cellbit runs around the car, hops in, throws the car in drive, and quickly speeds off. As he drives, he pulls his seatbelt on, and it clicks into the fastener. You and Roier do the same, absolutely winded.

"What do you mean, someone was in the window?" You ask, gasping for air, turning the heat all the way up.

"I looked back," Roier begins, coughing a bit to get his breathing steady, "And in one of those windows on the top in the front, someone was clearly in the window. Like, a light was on in there, and you could see a clear shadow."

You share a frightened look with Cellbit before leaning back in your seat, hugging yourself for comfort as your heart was racing. You didn't know why all three of you got so spooked, maybe the fear of encountering an actual person wasn't on your menu tonight. I mean, when would it ever would be?

"Please connect your phone and play music before I scream in terror" Cellbit speaks, glancing at you.

You pull your phone out, connecting your phone to the radio to play Toni Braxton's Un-Break My Heart. You try your best to keep your mind off of it, but overthink all the cans of food and trash laying around the house. People probably were squatting there.

If anything, they would've been scared of you, I mean, you had no right to just walk in.

"We are never doing that again"

"I second that"

"Third"

[moonshine-nightlight]

Hello! I Just wanted to let you know that I LOVED the published ver. of "Don't Shoot the Messenger". And I was so excited to hear that Dale and Sana's story might get published too.

At first I was really unsure about getting the book, as I didn't want to be disappointed if the changes made didn't translate well compared to the original. BUT YOU KNOCKED MY EXPECTATIONS RIGHT OUT OF THE WATER!! IT WAS SO GOOD!!

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I'm so excited for your future projects. And I wish you luck on your future publishing endeavours because I will be buying all future published books by you. And no one can stop me haha >:D

I also wanted to ask if there's a chance that any of your other previous works will also be published? Of course it's a huge effort of time and resources to publish something. But I do hold out hope that I might one day hold Heshi's story in my hands because truthfully it's such a comfort to me and I go back to it periodically to reread. I love that snakey boi. NO PRESSURE THO. If that's not in the cards, just the fact that it exists as a story is wonderful. Thank you so much for all the writing you do.

anyway, bye

@annjo-wolfe

hi! thanks so much! i really liked what DSM actually was and focused on my own edits and that of my editors just honing it to be the best version of itself - so i'm glad that came through and you liked it!

if ur interested in too much info about my self-publishing plans, pls see under the read more

Dale and Sana's story definitely will be self-published,its just a matter of when. it's also probably gonna get more tweaks than DSM due to the length and the way the story evolved over 2 years lol

thank you so much for your support and encouragement with publishing! i'm so happy people are excited about actually buying my stories lol

As for previous short stories that getting published, the answer is yes, i do have plans to publish them as well, they're just a lower priority for multiple reasons. firstly, me and everyone wants NWWD the most so its #1.

For 'Finally Woken' i actually already have the first 2 chapters converted to 3rd POV, however, its shorter than DSM and so would cost nearly as much to have edited but would sell for less (and amazon will try to tell me the spine is too narrow lol) so my current thoughts are to bundle it with 'Selfish' (helpfully already in 3rd person) and make a Naga Novella (called like 'Tangled Up in Tails' or something lol) with both of them in it so i can release it priced similarly to DSM.

For 'Sacrifice', i actually have plans to make that a 5 novella series about different forgotten deities returning to the same town, with 'Sacrifice' likely being offered as a cheaper, first book about a month or so before the second is published to get people into the series. the rest of the novellas would likely not go up on tumblr/AO3 at all and would only be published. i'd like to use this hypothetical series to see how that sort of model would work for me. i've planned out the 5 novellas to some extent but nothings really written yet besides 'Sacrifice'. as a complete project, its very low on my list after everything i'll b posting here and NWWD publishing, so since 'Sacrifice' is tied to that, its not likely to get published anytime soon.

For 'Snapped', i'd likely do something similar to 'Finally Woken' - write another short Sci-Fi/Alien story and bundle them together for publishing. However, i dont currently have anything written that would work so that's also a low priority evn if 'Snapped' is already 3rd POV.

I'm really excited to self-publish my work, but its expensive and what I've made from DSM has come nowhere close to covering my costs and likely won't. the only good thing is basically all the costs are up-front so its easy to jsut keep the books out there and making money when ppl buy it. i have a good job and am happy to spend my money to get my work out there and hope over time self-publishing will break-even, but that will take years at a minimum so it'll be slow going in the beginning.

my goal is to get everything self-published so it'll just be a matter of time - i too want to hold a copy of Heshi's story in my hands lol

thank you for all your support and giving me a chance to ramble about all my self-publishing plans!

[secret-citrus]

I think my favorite character detail for Blitz is his complete adoration of horses. There's no tragedy or anything there, he's just adored them since he was a kid, growing up around a bunch in the circus. And it's like, he makes the same face every time

(in this last one Blitz is saying the names of the horses he wants to get for the circus he wanted, and real quick, HE WANTED TO NAME THE HORSES STAPLER AND BISCUIT QUEEN 🥺🥺)

[boobz-fye]

Comforting them after losing a game

Includes: Oikawa Tooru, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Kageyama Tobio, and Keiji Akaashi x G/N reader.

Warnings: the boys doubting themselves and cursing(I think I only said one bad word in kageyamas but whatever)

Rant: Ok, I feel like this post is actual shit. Like I say that about almost all of my posts- but this one is very bad. The only good one is Ushijimas I think, so I hope I do all of the characters a little justice tho. Also sorry that I haven't been posting much (for like two weeks) I have been very busy, and been dealing with writer's block. I will try and post something else some time next week. Think it's gonna be fluff for MHA tho. Anyways, HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS!!!!!

Oikawa Tooru~

It all happened too fast. He could have sworn that they were just in the lead, ahead of Shiratorizawa by two points. He was so close to beating them. And now what is he going to say to you, or the team? He promised all of you that they will win this only to not fulfill it. Slowly dragging his feet out of the gym, Oikawa starts to feel tears building up in his vision. ‘No you can't cry right now.’ Oikawa thinks as he starts to pick up a pace. Maybe this is all just a bad dream and he will wake up soon.. Yeah that sounds right. He can wake up and have a fresh start of the day, win against Shiratorizawa, then celebrate with his team mates, and to top it all off go over your house and cuddle the whole night.  Oh how lovely that sounds, only if that wasn't another fantasy planted in his head.

Overwhelmed with emotions Oikawa finally comes out of the locker rooms, only to see you sitting on the floor. “What are you still doing here baby?” You look up to see Oikawa putting on a fake smile that makes your heart break. “Come here..” You say rising to a standing position, with your arms open and welcoming. Oikawa doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around you, and be consumed by your warmth. “You did amazing out there handsome.” Those few words made Oikawa feel butterflies in his stomach. The only thing that could make him feel better were your praises. But he still couldn't help the small ache in his chest, remembering that he promised everyone that they would win this game and make it to nationals. “If I did good then why didn't we win?” He says with a slight crack in his voice, making an ache of your own spread through your chest. “Maybe it was just luck. You were only off by one point, plus if it makes you feel better you'll be able to beat their ass in spring!” A breathy chuckle escaped from Oikawa's mouth, causing a grin to form on your face. “You're right baby, we will beat them in spring.”

Ushijima Wakatoshi~

Ushijima wasn't used to losing. The reality didn't hit him until he heard the opposing teams audience cheer. Looking over to the scoreboard when he hears the whistle being blown, only to see that his team has lost. A bitter taste settles on Ushijima’s tongue. But he is once again pulled out of his thoughts by a hand resting on his shoulder. He turns around to see his team standing behind him with a look of true defeat. “C’mon Ushijima, we have to line up” Tendou says with a tone a little different from his usual cheery one. Not knowing what to say Ushijima just grunts with a small nod.

Walking outside of the gym Ushijima starts to replay the game in his head to try and see where they went wrong, but soon was interrupted by some arms wrapping around him from behind. “Hi bubs.” you say nuzzling your head into his back. “Hello Y/N.”  “Soooo…” you try to think of what to say that will make Ushijima feel better, but it's hard to do so when he can be very blunt at some points and not understand what you are trying to get at. “Yes?” Ushijima says tugging at the sleeve of your jacket to gain your attention back to him. “How are you feeling after the game?” There is a little moment of silence that comes over the two of you causing a slight panic cloud in your mind, because what if he took your question the wrong way- “I don’t know how to feel about losing, I'm upset because we put a lot of effort in that game just to lose. But they won fairly, so I guess that just shows that we weren't good enough.” Ushijima states bluntly. You're kind of taken back by his answer, but notice how his eyes show more emotion than his words. You could tell that he was more than just upset. “Don't say that Ushijima, you guys did amazing out there. You guys were only off by a couple points!” You say as you take Ushijima’s hand into your own. “But still we tried our best and it wasn't enough.” You felt his hands tremble a little in your touch, looking at him with a soft gaze you say “I'm sorry bub, you will get them next time though, I know you will because you are good enough.” Ushijima nods and mumbles a thank you, while gently squeezing your hand. It's times like this, when Ushijima shows you his vulnerable side, that you hold dear to your heart.

Kageyama Tobio~

Kageyama dreaded feeling the pain in his chest after losing a game. He would never get used to it, and doesn't really care enough too anyways. Maybe if he didn't send the ball to Hinata, knowing that the idiot will just close his eyes, then they could have won. But even then Oikawa’s tricky serves would still be a pain to work around. Not to mention how fast the whole team learns their opponents weaknesses. Kageyama had gotten so lost in his thoughts that he forgot he had to meet up with you at a cafe in 6 mins. Today seems to just get worse and worse by the second and he doesn't know if he will be able to keep himself together for much longer.

You hear the bell on the cafe door ring, causing you to turn around and see that all too familiar face. Kageyama walks over to you and takes his seat. Only when he finally looks up you notice that he is panting. “Did you run all the way here kags?” “Yeah, would have been late if I didn't.” Kageyama never liked being late to anything that has to do with you, it makes him feel guilty, and he doesn't want to add upsetting you to the list of shitty things that have happened today. “I'm ok with you being a little late baby, especially when you just got back from your game…” Kageyeama drops his gaze back down to the table remembering that was the first game you got to see him play in just for them to lose, how embarrassing- “Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up.” you say rubbing the back of your neck. “It's ok….”  “Look at the menu and pick what you want, it's on me!” Kageyama shoots his head up and stares at you with wide eyes “Idiot im not letting you pay.” He mumbles while a blush spreads across his face. “Aww c'mon babe I can pay, let me get you some comfort food!” “Comfort food?” “Yeah food always helps me with stress” Before Kageyama could think over his next words, his mouth and brain betrayed him. “I think cuddles would make me feel better.” Both of you are taken back by his words, Kageyama was always so stubborn, forcing you to pick up hints from his behavior and piece them together to know what he wants. But you don't mind the forwardness; it helps you get straight to the point. Kageyama on the other hand is freaking out, he doesn't know if he was being too blunt or not, and your silence is not helping. “Never mind… forget what I said” “Whattttt, that sucks cause I was going to say yes but since you insist.” “Shut up, we can head over to mine after eating, the meal that I will be paying for, and cuddle. Now pick what you want already I don't have all day.” “Sir yes sir!” You say with a salute. “Dont do that you look dumb” Kageyama says, while trying to supress a grin. “You're so meannnnn” You whine with a pout. Even though Kageyama is teasing you the only thing you seem to be able to focus on is the way he starts to let loose and laugh around you. And when you look into his eyes all you see is love, not a trace of sorrow.

Akaashi Keiji~

It's only been a few minutes since the tragic game has ended and akaashi is already past the limit of stress he can handle. From the fact that they actually lost a game, while also trying to encourage the team and tell them that they will do better next time, and also trying to help bokuto get out of emo mode akaashi was starting to get a headache and wanted to just go home to sulk and attempt to relax. So once when he gets out of the shower akaashi throws on some clothes and runs out the locker room to the front gate. Not expecting you to be there waiting for him.

As Akaashi approaches the front gate he sees you standing there alone. “Y/N, what are you doing here? It's getting late.” “I know, I just wanted to check up on you” Akaashi looks into your worried eyes, causing him to feel a little guilt. Is he the cause of the expression on your face? “Oh well then can I walk you home?” You nod in approval, letting him take your hand and lead the way. A comfortable silence takes over the two of you, but you still can't help but feel like something is still off about Akaashi today, and none of his fake smiles and replies will put this thought at ease. “Hey Akaashi?” “Yes?” you stay silent for a little trying to think of the right words to say. “You know you guys did amazing at the game today right?” Akaashi hums in response, as the hold on your hand becomes a little shaky. “Good, because it's the truth. Just don't beat yourself up about it, you're great at what you do. Even though you guys didn't win I know you are still deserving of it. The only reason your opponents had a chance, was because of the chance balls. Plus you and your team have way more chemistry with each other then they did, it's almost like all of you can read each other's minds… Sorry I was rambling again.” Akaashi turns around and stares at you this time with a real smile on his face. “It's ok love, I think it's cute when you run your mouth. Now why don't we head over to your house instead? I want you to help me get rid of my stress, ok?” “And how can I help you with that?” Akkashi brings your hand towards his lips and gives it a quick kiss. “Cuddles of course, and let me eat whatever food you got in your house.” Akaashi says with a wink. On your way home you can't help but admire your caring boyfriend, always making time for you even when he's too emotionally and physically tired.

[lastoneout]

I get the impression that Laventon and Cyllene took one look at Akari and on one of the nights where both sleep in their quarters, and Laventon’s about to go to fall asleep, Cyllene just hits him with a “I think we should adopt Akari” very nonchalantly, then immediately falls asleep.

Laventon is left with his giddy thoughts unable to sleep the whole night because he is just going “IM PROFESSOR DAD NOW”.

That’s why he gifts you the rest of the starters. 😘

Also… imagine post Volo reveal, Akari probably came back badly wounded because she didn’t expect Volo to attack her. And alright. She is a bit traumatized because she basically met Satan (Volo’s like. The most mediocre and inefficient merchant and acted like a useless idiot but it was all a cover up! To lull you into compliance)

Cyllene noticed this so she sends her Abra to watch over Akari constantly. If she gets injured, a potion suddenly falls from the thin air. And when she’s back to Jubilife Cyllene frets over her… in her own quiet way.

Anyways. The found family posibilites with these characters make me feral.

haha this post got long oops

d;kflskdj okay but that's so Cyllene tho like *admits vulnerability and then immediately dodges having to explain or examine it at all* but also you know Laventon saw the protag fall out of the sky and then admit to being completely alone with no family or place to go and was like "is anyone gonna adopt this teenager" and then didn't wait for an answer. Cuz like yes any scenario is funny but pls imagine Cyllene and Laventon with that "we've been together forever" style psychic bond just taking one look at Akari and then each other like "Teenager Acquired"

Also...my weakness......imagining Professor Dad and Cyllene deciding to have another kid and Cyllene is ofc totally chill about it like no sweat at all but when she tells Laventon she's pregnant he's SO nervous and happy that he spends a week accidentally walking into walls and shit, falls down the stairs once or twice, trips into and over furniture, literally has a shinx chewing on him for half a day and barely notices, cannot hold a conversation, just a Mess(tm).

AND my OTHER weakness ofc cuz Found Family Feels imagining protag Akari being happy but also a little sad like "okay yeah now they have a Real Kid" until the kid is born and when Akari gets to meet them Laventon just goes "see that's Akari your big sister" and Akari just goes FULL

(same ofc for big brother Rei, and he and Akari are immediately like "I would DIE for this child" because ofc they would)

Plus pls...uncle Ingo...he already helps with the sneasel babies...open that basket and there's like five little sneasel and one human toddler all asleep. I cannot, my heart, sobbing ect.

Also ah yes Volo my favorite dumbass merchant with rabies(I literally want to rescue him from himself cough cough time loop fic) BUT yeah you know after that Akari/the protag was Fucked Up and I can imagine out of everyone Cyllene would be the one to notice Akari being like "I will keep all of my feelings right here and then one day I'll die" about it and she's like "I'm not gonna make you drag all this Shit(tm) out BUT I am going to absolutely dial up the stealth mom vibes by 500"

(sdkfkldj ALSO abra just fuckin' teleporting a potion to Akari IS adorable but now I'm imagining the abra just being a bit dumb about it and so there are a few times where said potion gets dropped ON Akari or like...over a cliff or something, or like it's getting tossed from off stage left...like look that abra has dumb lazy cat vibes I'm just saying and it's fucking hilarious dklfjdlksj also tbh I can see Akari not saying anything even tho it's OBVIOUSLY Cyllene because she appreciates the Stealth Mom thing even if the results are uh...mixed)

But I also like the idea of Akari/protag just...falling apart like that's the final straw they just Can't and burn out SO hard and we gotta get a FULL found family intervention going we get Cyllene, Laventon, Rei, fuckin' Ingo, everybody is gonna let Akari know she is loved gdi!!! Akari is on the Depressed Express and everyone is getting together to Derail That Train with the power of friendship and love.

[scorpiwrites]

p.s i feel so bad for going away for so long :/ hi there loves i hope you're all well, if no it's alright, just take a bit of rest, yeah? It's all gonna be alriightttt.

Just a little imagine today, cuz it's 5 am and I feel shitty and I just came back home at 1 after a long day and can't stop thinking about this scenario for comfort.

⚠️I'm imagining in my position tho so like… f! reader. But I don't use she/her in this one tho.... so if you wanna read it then it's all here, this is just a bit of warning I guess. Sorry y'all I really don't want to mislead. ⚠️

Imagine so it's like we were on the second war and then we made another group other than the Order, and we have these little mission ( which actually WORKS unlike the fucking chicken nuggets ) 

I mean it's not really that much of people but there's Sev n then Lucius, Remus, Sirius, me, and Cissa. ( I'm like.... around Dora's age).

And one day on a mission, we draw a bunch of papers in a bag to determine the group of two; I was with Sirius and with the reluctant Severus, he was with Remus :/ ( poor Remus).

Anyways I always imagined how Sirius would take control to comfort the both of us when our mission went south and it was all a trap, or maybe both of us were very close to death and it was a bloody miracle we came back out alive.

I'd imagine he would slowly bring me back from my all-time zooming out of the world and just rub my back. I know that I'm the kind of person who needs time to sort things out in my head, especially if the situation was so fast that even I couldn't comprehend what happened for like the first 15 minutes post-events ( which happened when I almost got hit by a fucking motorbike when crossing the street as a child hffft).

I'd think about how he would soothe me as he drew me to his chest, just lean my head there and comb my hair with his fingers while just putting little pressure on my scalp every now and then, just to ground me and tell me that he and I are alriight.

And he would talk about stuff that he loved, probably the things he used to do before azkaban days. In the midst of the war, just him and all of his records. And I know for the fact that he would spit out bunch of celebrities facts and some conspiracy theories bullshit that he believed about them.

I thought about how he would hold me as I wept in his arms when I slowly remembered what happened. And he would just hold me and not judge me for being so soft and crybaby during times of crisis. And I also thought about how he would let me rest in his arms, just both of us there trying to find comfort with each other.

I need soft Sirius so bad I'm tired of smut :( ( i mean not like I don't like them cuz I live for them @ writers out there fuck man I love y'all's smut stories I'd die for you)

[o-pandora-o]

Baker MC: April Fool's Special

Baker MC strikes again! Fooling the Demon Brothers in April Fool's by their realistic cake. How would they react?

Note: I would like to apologize beforehand, some of the brothers turned out to be boring rather than funny. I will try to edit this when I have the time.

Lucifer:

[No image was available for this]

Background: You planned this with the Anti-Lucifer squad. You hid all his pen in his room leaving a suspicious "pen" that looks like the pen he usually use. Satan put a powerful spell on the pen, removing its sweet scent to avoid the suspicion. You put a hidden camera to see his reaction.

Luci daddy came home tired from all the things he'd done in RAD.

He still have some paper works to finish, he put the paper works in the table and sat on his chair.

Ya'll saw him eyeing the "pen"

He picked up the pen and was gonna start writing until he glared at the camera and crushed the pen.

It was a chocolate and strawberry cake

He licked the strawberry (the filling of the pen) that splattered near his mouth, made a grin, glared at the camera and said "Run."

You all ran for your lives, spreading inside the House of Lamentation

Did you succeed in running : Nope

Did you three hang from the ceiling: Yes

Ya'll saw him smirk and laugh like a madman afterwards

Bonus:

Lucifer took a picture of you three hanging from the ceiling and sent it in the group with Diavolo.

Ofc ya'll didn't knew, you were hanging from the ceiling

Levi made it a meme and posted it on Devilgram AND gave Lucifer and Diavolo a printed copy

April Fool's to you

Mammon:

Credits to: The BakeKing

It was your turn in making dinner and Mammon kept bugging you if he can help.

"No Mammon" you kept on saying but he was still bugging you.

You weren't really mad at Mammon (honestly you thought it's funny), but to make things interesting...

"I SAID NO MAMMON" you shouted at him.

"LOOK WHERE YER CUTTING HU--AAAAHHHH!!!" You cut your hand and blood was running.

"AAAAAH! LOOK WHAT YOU DID MAMMON" you screamed.

"MCCCCCCCC YOUR HAND" yes I can see Mammon He screamed loud enough that it can be heard at Diavolo's castle.

Glad you two are alone in the House of Lamentation though

You were wearing a long sleeved jacket and the "cake" was your hand; it was like a lava cake, instead of chocolate it was darkened and smoothened strawberry puree.

You glared at him and blamed him

Poor boi was crying, kept apologizing, and saying the lines of "I'm sorry", "I'm so dead", and "Let's take ya to the hospital".

He shitted on his pants and kept panicking poor boi

It was hilarious tho

He was crying and you couldn't hide the laughter

"Oi! Did someone hit ya in the head? WHY ARE YA LAUGHING YER HAND WAS CU-" and he he saw that the interior of the so called "hand" was made out of strawberry and strawberry puree.

"April Fool's Mammon!" you told him as you finally reveal your real hand.

"MC! Why did ya prank me?! It wasn't a good prank! I thought you-" You shushed him while you gave him a small bag of grimm.

"Is it for me? Are ya sure ya ain't pranking me this time?"

"Yeah, now buy what you want to buy, I will just go to my room for a while" you replied.

Cue you teleporting

It was a bag full of gold-coated chocolate that looks (and is heavy) like a bag of grimm.

"MCCCCCCC!!!!!"

The next few days you see Mammon pouting and murmuring things about you.

You felt bad so you left grimm on the floor of his room every time you were near it

Leviathan:

Credits to: The BakeKing

On April 1st, Levi was required to go to the school for academic purposes, so you took this chance to play a lil prank on him.

When Levi was away, you hid all the items that he usually use: computer, consoles, Azuki-tan pillow, and some Ruri-chan figures.

And you took time to make realistic cake that are very similar to those you hid.

When he was almost home, you placed all the realistic cake on his room.

You were supposed to go on a raid with him when he comes home

Cue him coming home and going to his room

You visited the him in his room, panic reflecting off his face.

"Levi, is there something wrong?" you asked

"Ah, it's this computer, it doesn't open! And it seems I'm kind of making a dent on it too. It's so weirdddddd" he said

He got a bit forceful and his finger created a hole on the computer

"Eh? Cake? Mc did you do this? Lmao"

You hand him a note that says "Look for the cakes, the location of the real ones lie at the last treasured cake"

"Oh boy mc a scavenger hunt, its like the new anime I was watching 'My fiancée is a criminal mastermind that kept giving me clues to find the missing items and bodies to make myself famous' " I'm really sorry I really suck at names

So he proceeds with finding all the cakes, and he got all the real things for his room however...

" MC where is my limited edition Ruri-chan that is dressed like a succubus?"

"It's there, it was with the other Ruri-chan figures" you said as you were looking at the figures that he was holding

Turns out Mammon saw all the goods on your room, and took the chance to get one since he knows it wasn't yours.

April fool's? I guess.

Satan:

Credits to: SideSurf Cake Studio

You were helping him in his cooking duty today.

You requested that both of you make human food because apparently you "missed the taste" of the cuisine.

So you took care of the usual ingredients of the cuisine: vegetables, onion, garlic, meat and etc.

He didn't know or did he that you secretly placed realistic cake counterparts of it.

When it was cooking time, he selected the cake counterparts (this boi might be smart but you were from the human world so he thought it was correct).

He started cutting an onion, to his dismay he saw a soft chocolate interior.

"Huh? That can't be right, I believe onions should either have violet, yellowish, or whitish hue inside"

"Hmmm yeah, let me try this one" you said as you grabbed another onion and proceed to cut it

"Hm, this one is the right one, I wonder what happened to that" you said

STOP THE CAP MC

"Hm, anyways I will proceed in cutting the rest"

Bottom-line all he cut was cake and what you cut the real one

"Satan, maybe you were cursed? All the ingredients that you touched turned into cake" you said as you were preparing to take the meal to the dining area.

"I suppose that is the case, however... "

"Hm?" you said as you were supposed to bring the meal outside.

"However I have outsmarted you MC, I knew it was you who made those realistic mini cakes" he said as he took a bite of the onion cake while grinning smugly

Smart boi #2

"I-uhhh No it was not- Hey wait a min! If you knew why did you continue to make me believe you were fooled!" you replied

"April Fool's MC~, if I didn't do that I wouldn't have  extra time to spend with you" he said as he got out patting your head

Satan, you slick son of a bish

Asmodeus:

Credits to: Etsy

This guy is late for school

Did you plan to make him late? Yes No

Cue flashback: you ruined his beauty sleep 3 times which resulted in kicking you out of his room and made him wake up late

Well even though he is late, he would still do his morning routine without rush

Priorities ✨

You put a small camera on top of his cabinet to see his reaction

After hours of bathing he sat down to his dresser

He grabbed his toner and when he squeezed it lightly it nothing came out

"Ehhh? That's weird, I could've sworn this is the new toner I bought" he squeezed it more and the toner was destroyed revealing a squished vanilla cake

He sighed and said "MC did it again"

He tried looking and poking all of his makeup just to make sure it's not mini cakes

10/10 are all mini cakes

He saw a note that said "In the drawer lies the real make up hehe April Fool's day!"

When he came to RAD, he was already late for 4 hours

"MC when I said I wanted Makeup mini cakes, I wanted it for my birthday! Not today!"

Is disappointed at you

Will frown and pout when he pass by at you during school

Well you feel bad at pranking him so you treat him at an exclusive spa

Beelzebub:

Credits to: The Custom Cake Shop

I mean Bell eats everything, so is there even use?

Beel had the whole day working out

Since he didn't have much money (not that you persuaded him to bring less, no-) his only option is to go home and eat

During the time he was working out, you made different flavored cakes and pastries into dishes. You made a ton of (chocolate-strawberry cake into) cheeseburger, (cheesecake) devildom sushi, cake turned into slushy (the container can be eaten too), plates can also be eaten, etc.

Well you made Beel drool, he didn't waste time so he sat down and took a bite of the cheeseburger

He was slightly shocked because it was sweet rather than savory

But that didn't stop his hunger

It was about 10 mins till he finished what you have created in 12 hours (and more)

"MC all you made was really delicious, now I want something salty to eat...Let's eat dinner!" he said as he dragged you to eat

April fools to you

After that whenever you gave him something to eat/drink (like a glass of slushy or something) he would try to also eat the container

Poor kitchenware and Luci's budget

Belphie:

[No image was available for this]

This boi knows

Smartboi #3

You gave him a pillow that is the same as the pillow he usually carries

He didn't really say anything about it, but he knows for a fact that it is cake

He slept on it

Your hard work in making it realistic,, he slept on it

You came back to his room and you wait for him to wake up

"Mcccccc, this is so fluffy like my favorite pillowww, but it's not really a good way to prank someone, but on the other hand it's really convenient...."he said as he yawns and signals you to come to his bed

He took a bite of the errrr pillow and said" This is really good, like the last time you made a toilet paper, but you know what else is good?"

My love for you jk

" Hm?" you replied

" This!" he said as he began tickling your sides

You fight him back and tickle his sides when you had the chance

It ended of as you two were panting and laughing in bed

Poor cake pillow forgotten

[warabidakihime]

i have a lot to unpack so hear me out i guess?

hey guys.

i'm sorry for being inactive and for taking so long to post the epilogue for invisible strings and the next chapter for roses and rules. things have been incredibly busy at work, we are preparing a lot of things for the anniversary of my company and although i'm not overworked or anything, the tasks that are assigned to me are lowkey draining. i am in charge of writing an article for our executive director and this will be published in local news outlets so you can only imagine the pressure i am in right now haha. i'm having fun though. it's challenging but also very rewarding, and i am particularly thankful to my teammates and my supervisor for being so supportive and uplifting. sadly, til this day there's no irl boss tengen yet lol.

another thing is, last saturday i was supposed to attend a concert. one that i've been waiting and craving for so long. my ultimate kpop group suju or super junior was supposed to hold their concert here, but unfortunately, they had to postpone it to another date. what happened was, when they got to the airport and were about to travel here, one of the members' father suddenly passed away and so said member had to rush to his family and the rest were obviously very heartbroken by the sad news. they've been together for more than 20 years, and so they have been very close with their respective families.

tho the remaining members still decided to fly all the way here and at first they intend to push through with the concert but ofc they were not in a healthy head space to perform and so they decided to postpone altogether but still decided to meet us even for a short moment so that they can personally talk and confide to us about what happened and what will happen.

it was a surreal experience not gonna lie. never in my life would i ever thought that i would experience something like that. i've been a fan of them for more than 10 years and they have been my rock during my darkest moments. basically, they saved my life multiple times lol. and so, being the one to give comfort to the people who have been comforting me through their music and lovely personality, it was really bizarre. to be honest, even though they still performed three songs for us, it didn't feel like a concert or a fanmeet, it felt like i was visiting a sad friend to comfort them. they call their fans elf or everlasting friend, so after that night, the meaning of that fandom name became even more meaningful. i was quiet the whole fanmeet because i was scared that my voice would break if i attempted to talk let alone scream while watching them perform. i was sobbing the whole time lmao the moment their voices broke while saying sorry to us break my heart so much. it really hurt to see them like that especially when they're widely known for being cheerful and chaotic.

this will be a core memory for sure. sigh.

it didn't helped that the weather here has been awfully gloomy all week.

so yeah, that happened. ngl, i went in some deep thinking and reflecting.

but don't worry, once i'm a little bit free i will get back to writing again. the epilogue is about 60% finished i'm just having a little trouble with writer's block. ;-; nevertheless, thank you for being patient. (lol if there's even a single person that's waiting.)

anyway, i hope you're having a pleasant week~

[stanharu]

beastars episode 24 thoughts!

this post got kinda long i have Many Thoughts on this one

Overall I had fun watching this ep but I could really tell it was rushed and there was so much that got cut, which makes me super sad. our fears about the finale having pacing issues due to all the added scenes & rearranging were confirmed & it rly sucks, but i'll elaborate more on that in a bit.

this week's ep covered the end of chapter 92, chapters 93-97, and included small bits of chapters 98 & 99.

so the ep starts with the ED and the latter part of the tunnel scene with ibuki and louis. i liked the visual effect they used to show that they were in the dark. louis' voice acting was also On Point. for the most part i think this scene was done pretty well but I can tell it's being rushed also. I really wish we got more buildup and narration instead of just jumping straight to ibuki telling louis to shoot him. the way it is in the anime feels less impactful imo.

also im sad we didnt get to see this in the anime

before i move on, i wanna talk a bit about louis and his relationship w/ the shishigumi and ibuki. i feel like in the anime quite a few of the lil moments that really endear you to the shishigumi and also ibuki were either cut or kinda glossed over, which is strange to me considering how much effort and care went into the ED. it's very emotional and good but i feel like maybe anime onlies are missing out only seeing the anime and the MV. but idk.

legosi and riz's fight was quite rushed as well. there's so much narration and dialogue missing from it and that really rubs me the wrong way. It wasn't all bad but compared to the manga I just don't think it's as good. I will say tho that I really liked the sequence w legosi and the moths. I thought it looked really nice and was pretty well done.

also i liked how the backgrounds had some anti-yahya graffiti, its a nice touch imo

it says "high quality horse meat"

I was happy to see legosi do the "tell me more" pose but I'm honestly disappointed that the anime took out the whole exposition about why legosi did it. like i feel like without that it's just legosi being weird when he has a reason for it!!! This is just one example of the anime taking out crucial narration during the fight.

I also think it's kinda weird how they changed how louis shows up at the fight. im not sure how i feel about riz just charging at him like that, but i liked how legosi kicked him before they ran lol.

i dont have much to say about pina's small scene but I did wanna say that during my first watch thru of the ep i was too distracted trying to read the graffiti behind him that i didn't notice him getting his phone out of the dumpster and calling the cops lmao

it says "devour yahya"

and now... here we are... the predation scene.

overall i thought it was pretty well done but, like the rest of the ep, i could tell it was also being kinda rushed. some important beats werent given enough time to really sink in, and there's a few bits of narration taken out of this part as well that i find disappointing :^(

tho i did like how the anime called back to this scene in s1 when legosi mentions utilizing his strength.

also this part where louis is remembering ibuki had me like😭

I also really liked seeing louis cry. I was crying too sjdflskjdflsjkdf. i thought that scene was really good, its prolly my favorite part of the ep tbh. getting to hear the whole predation scene voiced made me kind of a mess lol. i really liked louis' expressions throughout this whole ep too. studio orange used their whole louis expression budget on these last 2 eps lmao.

seeing legosi instantly get all beefed up was great too. he looked a little ridiculous but i kinda loved it lol. he's so huge and poofy. i love him.

big pomeranian

anyway, im also sad they took out louis' line about being reduced to a flashback character lol. instead he tells legosi "be a hero" again which... im not sure about that change. i liked the part with riz thinking back about tem tho. tho imo the way riz realizes he's in the wrong feels pretty sudden. again adding to how rushed the whole ep feels.

before i move on again i just wanna say legosi looks so cute. even all puffed up and covered in blood. how does he do that

baby boy baby. i wanna ruffle his cheek floofs.

i think one of the things im most disappointed about from this whole ep was how the fight got wrapped up. i really like how the cops show up and totally shift the tone in the manga jslkdfjskljdf. im also really sad we didnt get this interaction

tthe anime really took out most of the sillier moments from the finale, which makes me pretty sad to think about. i know the anime and manga have different tones but pls let the boys be silly sometimes!!

the next part where legosi and louis finally establish their friendship was really cute tho ❤️ even tho it was pretty different i enjoyed it a lot.

BABIESSSS 🥺😭❤️❤️

the wrap-up for this arc and this episode gave me whiplash sdjlfkjsdf. it literally speedruns thru legosi's predation conviction, being released, louis & haru's graduation, and legosi deciding he's going to drop out of school. that is SO MUCH AT ONCE. also i was holding out hope that legosi would have his new years call with haru after the fight instead but that didnt happen!! so it just got cut!!! kinda mad about that tbh. legosi and haru having a lil scene at the very end made up for it a lil bit but that's still one of haru's few moments in this arc that's just not included.

we didnt even get the part wher legosi learns he can't marry haru bc of his conviction.

ive been really hoping for a season 3 announcement once this season ended. with all the background allusions to yahya, the added plot point of someone stealing elephant tusks, and sebun and melon's lil cameos in this season, it seemed to me that studio orange was kinda teasing a 3rd season. but now, with the dismissive way the anime ended, and paru's note from earlier today, im less sure about the possibility of a 3rd season. i'd still like to see the rest of the series animated, but i guess we'll just have to wait and see if more anime is announced in the future.

if we do get another season in the future i just hope that we swing back around and actually address the things that got completely glossed over in the last couple minutes of this episode instead of charging forward w/o touching them again.

i really think the finale for this arc should've been two episodes at least. not including the tunnel scene. i think then things wouldn't have felt so rushed. people have been saying this season really would have benefitted from at least 1 extra episode and i cant help but agree. some have even suggested a whole 24 episodes just for this arc, but i think that this arc couldve been done properly with 12 or 13 episodes if there was some better prioritizing on what to include and what to cut.

like i dont mind not getting the parts about legosi's family if they can be addressed somehow in a future season (or if theres no more future anime seasons thats a plot thread that doesnt have to be worried about). i could have lived w/o seeing sheila & peach's chapter animated if it meant more time for the focus of this arc. and was the kangaroo red herring really necessary?

adaptation wise, i dont think this season was as good as the first. i still think it did fairly well, but i know that it could have been much better. ive been excited to watch this season with my friends once the dub releases, but now im wondering if i should just tell them to read the manga instead. sighs idk. perhaps it comes thru better as a bingewatch, or perhaps im being a bit too harsh. idk. at some point ill do a rewatch and see how i feel about the season as a whole, but that wont be for a while.

if you've read this far, thanks for reading my ramblings!! it's been fun to make these posts every week and im gonna miss getting new episodes every week.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Comic buff with a thought, I notice the P5MM art and composition is more striking and closer to p5's art and style than the other manga, which is fine, but kinda... flat. (I find myself thinking there's something missing when I read it, then I look back at P5MM and I notice how there's more clever paneling, imagery, and stylistic choices akin to the games in it (like that one goro panel ya had a rant about) and I realize what's missing) That could be why P5MM is brought up more, just a guess. I dunno how you feel about all that though, I'm curious.

Under the cut cause it gets long cause of pictures:

I am very big on art style and visual presentation. I do actually judge a book by it's cover (manga, game, movie, show, yadda). If I find something pleasing to my eye I'll read it.....even if the contents are trash. Domestic Girlfriend is one, horrible manga (didn't finish, was holding out for Momo, aka best girl, and getting closure for her....then I bounced). Didn't watch the anime (didn't need to I was way ahead in the manga I think), but I know that opening is wasted on it. ldskfjaf Don't invest your time into it, it's not worth it, you would probably learn better morals from P5.......probably. But yeah I found the art style pleasing enough to try it out (I's not amazing by any means, but I like looking at it....or did.....that writing man....dat was bad ;w;).... *waves hands vaguely in air* yeah.

Fun fact, it's why I got into Persona. I happened across an ad for P4 on the PS2 in the Gameinformer magazine, it showed a screenshot from an animated cutscene plus one of the fully body art for the chars and I was like "Yes this is my jam!" (which only doubled down when I read what it was about, and it was a murder mystery and the article also talked up "the mystery of the glasses" which fakldjsalkfs yeah). So yeah it really clicked for me.

Tbh it's why I'm probably going to get back into freaking Bleach, and it's why I got into it and Naruto over One Piece (I don't think I'll ever read ON I'm sorry). Tite Kubo has sexy art what can I say? Can't trust a thing that man writes now but eh. It's also the reason I read a lot of Shojo (and now Yuri) manga, cause their art style is usually what I find very appealing (even if I've read the same gd shojo love story just by a different name for the 1000th time, give me the flowers and sparkly eyes! they are my life blood!)

And I've mentioned I really like Saito's art style. I've (attempted) to color some of his pieces on top of animate some manga frames (most of which I haven't actually published......I...I should....get around to finishing those up....haha...aha....haaaa). I really like his art, it's pleasant. But even with good art, I can still see past it and see what BS it's peddling and it can hamper my enjoyment of it. If I don't look at the context of the scene or the words on the page, I can be down with it. But when I'm reading.......I get annoyed. I balk at anything with Goro. I guffaw whenever Makoto's on screen (cause Saito nails her from P5, she acts useful but really she's useless but the narrative views her as useful it ironically makes her useless......it's the weirdest thing I've ever witnessed >.>). Like Saito really.....gets P5 it seems, down to it's flaws even (tho he can actually make the good parts of P5 shine, or at least parts that P5 failed to execute....execute in a way). But he also makes the flaws.....shine that much harder for me.

Now the Reg manga? it's nothing special art style wise, in fact it starts off VERY wonky, and while still wonky, has gotten a lot....better/cuter (esp Ryu). Not like shojo cute just.......I wanna squish their wittle faces cute (at times when it's not serious).

Like when it comes to Reg Manga these are the two pieces that have appeared in it that I feel kinda hit the P5 mark in terms of style:

(look at Mona, coming into this world like the pustule that he is 8U)

Which isn't much, but it's something. At least Reg's AOA is better looking than the anime. 8U

But I dunno, as the chapters go on, the Mangaka allows for more cuter expressions, and I just like their neat:

(btw I colored that page)

I dunno, it's not as overtly cutsey as Saito:

But they are still charming in a more simple way (without out having them go full chibi), it subtle but it gives it flavor. "Silly why are most, if not all those pics of Ryu and Anne?" I dunno guys maybe you should ask them how their backs are doing, cause they're the ones who are carrying the Reg manga when it comes to this! 8U

Tho I do think the first ch or two of Reg does a better job capturing P5's feel than the rest of the chapters, I think the mangaka is just.....bogged down by exposition and the game's BS that a lot of text on their pages so it almost reads like a novel:

ALots of text, not the most dynamic of framing with the panels. It's kinda eh. I haven't really read the manga past the 2nd dungeon tbh (I mean......as the residential #1 Makoto hater, I think that's fair.....that I'd start to zone out during my least fav dungeon....and then continue zoning out during my 2nd least fav dungeon askfdjaflk)

But during the first two dungeon arcs, I liked how.....bad the PT were at thieving, I liked how green they were. It was obviously a learning process. I also like some of the fight choreo (Saito did the best hand to hand one in the series in P4U's Yu vs Sho....which I actually animated....spoiler.....no I have no released that...my dumbass wants to tempt fate and see if I can redo it in color even tho it took me 4 days non stop to get that animated in just black and white.....but I am a fool so alas 8U). I mean it's not mind blowing, but it was simple and decently thought out, which is more than I feel like we usually get (esp with the anime shows....or at least P4/5's).

But I think what draws me in is....it's lack of P5 style. P5 style has them being still oh so cool despite being new at everything. It's tired me out. P5's how identity is style. It's....style over substance (gonna rile some feathers with that....Cvit(?) vid title). But P5 is overtly stylish, to the point it......weighs on me. Drags me down. Tires me out. I don't think they're cool, I'm bored with it. Ironically, Reg manga lacks that, which......def would make someone (and me usually) give it much of a passing glance. It's very basic I guess. But.....consider me, being in P5 hell, surrounded by all it's nausea inducing stylishness, sees a small break in the hellish hurricane to see.......normalcy. It kinda makes me connect better with the kids (kinda, it's still P5).

They feel like normal kids, trying to do their thing (sometimes trying to look/act cool and failing), and.....it's just the absolute antitheses to P5's brand......and I think that's why I like it. KLFJDSAFLKJA;

Anyway, who knows, maybe when I catch up on Reg in english and re-read MM with the official translation I might change my mind about a few things, or at least how I rank them. But for post length sake, and my sanity sake, I think I should keep the anime and mangas out of the "Which entry do you hate least" post......because I should just make another post where I go into both mangas as well as compare and contrast the anime! :D I'm just delaying some insanity for later haha....

Wait.........I just remember Day Breakers exists......and I liked it....still do....don't have much issue with it. Well shit, that is probably the one entry I hate the least. fklsdjfalkjdfkla;jsL;FJljsfdlskafaj *sobs* nO NO, I committed, and that's just a sad loophole. fdklsajflakfj *sobs* I still need to the game thing, cause let's be honest, the games are where it counts.

So right now my ranking for manga/anime is:

Daybreakers>Reg manga> MM>>>>>>>>>>TV Show Anime and it's OVAs (may the burn in the hell fire from which they spawned)

Oh, one last thing, forgot to put it in but I dunno where to put it now. I like how the manga tones down the pervyness some:

I mean Ryu is a fellow monkey. u_u .......but it's for the best I don't have to see his ape expression. ;w; (iirc the pyramid scene was a lot shorter/faster, but that's by the grace of reading and books rather than animation I suppose).

[barnesaintdead]

Pandora's Box Chapter One

Summary: Times have changed, great heroes were gone and all that remained was wreckage and lives to start over. After an alleged attack, Bucky is taken back to the past. With nightmares still vivid in his mind, he must choose between succumbing to fear or standing before it.

Warnings: smut, angst, mentions!abuse/rape/torture, +18

Word count: +1,200

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Mutant!OC

A/N: after Endgame, another Stark Tower was built in honor of Tony and everything he has done for the world. There are lots of details about him all the way in the new Tower. Also, I'm hearing Griss's soundtrack while writing this.

The first thing she noticed when her brain woke up was how cold her body was. The warm sunlight kissed her cheeks gently, seeping under her lashes and making her eyelids flutter open to a blinding white room. Observing her surroundings, she noticed she wasn't alone. A men was sitting next to her bed, a long forgotten book in his hands and low snores coming out of his parted lips. Her entire upper body ache when she tried to sit against the headboard silently. She stayed quiet, watching dust motes travel across the room in the early morning haze. It was a chilly one, for sure. Her last memories started to appear in quick flashes trough her head. She was sleeping peacefully when the first explosion startled everyone in the building, flames already taking over almost everything in the first round. And then a second and a third, and everything was chaos and smoke and her only wish was to crumble down with the building because, fuck, it was happening all over again. The the fourth explosion came, those strong arms that were holding her tight vanished in a split second and everything she knew was the hard ground and the iron taste on her tongue.

"Good morning, sunshine", the man greets, throwing her off of her reveries. He stretched his arms up in the air, joints cracking all the way.

"Why am I here?" She asked under a troubled look. Her eyes darted to the window. From that level, all she could bring up was the Statue of Tony Stark resting above the fountain, his hand aiming at something beyond the horizon. She was in the Stark Tower.

"You know why", Sam answered. "Pandora, am I right? Like in the files?"

The girl nodded once, her slender fingers tugging to the thin fabrid that covered her legs. The moment he called her by her codename, she knew she was doomed and he was already aware of everything she was and everything that was done to her. She wondered he knew a lot more than necessary when he swinged her personal diary in his hand before throwing at her side on the bed.

"I want you to see someone... Do you think you can walk?"

Pandora nods once more and start dragging her feet off the bed's edge, startling herself by the purple marks all along her skin. It wasn't a pretty view. The first steps were difficult, like the ones of a newborn doe, she would have fallen instantly without  Sam's support on her waist. Side by side, they moved slowly towards the room next door.

Once Sam pushed the door open, her entire body tensed as if the blood in her veins had turned into ice. With her knees shaking, she stammered unconsciously:

"Zim... Zimniy s-soldat..." [Winter Soldier].

In his bed, Bucky's head moved to the side and his eyelids fluttered seconds before open slowly. His movements were lethargic by the sedatives.

"Gotov soblyudat..." [Ready to comply]. He flashes a weak smile, his voice nothing more but a growl and he focuse his blue irises on the terrified girl. "Nobody have called me that in a long time".

"Yeah. I call him asshole", Sam scoffed.

Pandora, still petrified, let a diminish laugh scape before forgetting the excruciating pain that was rushing furiously trough her body and let herself collapse against the cold floor. Images of a long lost life before her freedom takes place, filling her mind and projecting painful memories that went straight trough her heart like daggers.‎ Fear hit her hard and suddenly she is out of breath and the floor underneath her seems to disappear. Choking and trying to collect herself hysterically from the ground, she end up falling back onto Sam's grip. He hugged her tight and hid her face against his chest without hesitation, hiding her. Pandora's entire body trembled to the point of chattering teeth, her knuckles already white from tugging his shirt between her fingers.

"It's okay, darling. Nobody's gonna hurt you", Sam assured, whispering with lips touching her hair. "I promise. You can trust me, can't you? I'm here with you, nothing's gonna hurt you".

Sam had seen many post-traumatic stress atacks, more so panic ones. He knew how to deal with it. With her. She was scared and feeling unsafe and probably triggered by whatever Bucky said to her in russian, kidding or not. The first thing he did was lift them both from the ground and place her small crooked figure onto the spare bad next to the wall and covered her with the biggest blanket he could find at the moment. He watched as she started to roll herself up in a messy coccon mode.

"Don't worry, Panda. I'm gonna be here with you. Just breath, darling", Sam is now stroking long caresses across the girl's back. Bucky who had been silent trough the whole situation looked at her fondly, but there was still a hint of pain or guilt in his baby blue eyes. He knew he caused her that crisis. It was his fault. He desired to erase himself from her mind for a moment.

Almost an hour passed until Pandora was stable again. Her muscles were slowly untwining and letting her breathe properly, full deep inhales and long exhales to soothe her aching throat. Sam smiled when she looked at him with teary, but thankful eyes, but he kept his hand in motion caressing her for a while, observing how relaxed she was once she saw that were no danger. Not in him nor in the room or in Bucky's presence. She was now laying with face half buried in the sheets. looking dead into Bucky's figure like she was studying him.

"Feeling better?" Sam finally asks, taking a step back from the bed. Pandora nods and looks at him. "I need to report to Fury and get you both some food. Think you can manage to be alone here with him for a moment?"

"I guess... Yeah."

"I'll be back in a second then. Distract her, Barnes, will ya'?"

Bucky waved at him and whitin a second Sam was out of their sight. The air tensed a bit with the sudden silence, she wasn't much of a talker, neither was him, but they kept the eye contact before Bucky broke the connection to take a look outside the window.

"What happened to you?" Pandora's voice startles him, making him let out a chuckle begore putting his attention back on her. She was more mature, it was visible, there were some new scars, but still the same soft, childish features. Her question was short but complicated. He sighed.

"A lot, after Hydra. They wanted me to murder Steve, but I just couldn't finish. He broke the brainwash and after that I started to remember. When everything crumbled down, I found a place to stay in Bucharest", He lost himself in his thoughts for a moment, looking at his metal fingers. "I started a routine, everything was about remember who I was and be invisible. Then, the enemies came... Zemo, he caused a lot of problems... Thanos and the war. I turned to dust when he snapped his fingers, but Steve and the others brought us back. We fought, we won. I'm very thankful for their help. Shuri, who erased Hydra's poison from my head. I wouldn't be nothing without them, probably dead by now".

"So did you nightmares stopped?"

Bucky remembered his times under Hydra control once again, a specific moment, when he was in a cage. The girl next to him helped him sleep trough his nightmares that day. Pandora helped him even tho she was just as scared.

"Those never go away. They're always there, lurking inside my head", He laughed. "The nightmares never were about the brainwash, but about what I did when I was their puppet".

Pandora's eyes went to the ground. She understood him, her own nightmares almost drove her crazy most nights. She abused sleep pills and alcohol, but not even that made them go away. They would be always there. Her heart sinked into her chest for a second and then she heart his voice calling again.

"What about you?" He now had turned his body a bit to the side, for her to look at his front. The sheet went down a bit, showing his marked skin, so many scars in a tiny piece of him. A cold chill went down her spine.

"I was always running. Everytime something would get out of control, I just ran away to another city, then another state, and another country until I end up in that apartament".

"Get out of control...?" He lifted his eyebrow and she licked her lips.

"The things like those explosions and the fire?" She let out a faint laugh. "I'm used to that happening all time. I bring disgrace to everyone around me and that's why you should let me get out of here as soon as possible. I wouldn't want to ruin your lives."

"You mean you started the fire? You caused the explosions?" He asked.

"No. God, no. I... I didn't do anything is just... It happens around me, like I'm cursed or have this terribly bad luck", she shook her head. "I would never hurt anyone".

Outside the room, Sam and Fury listened carefully to their conversation. They new eachother from another times and leaving them alone was the best idea Sam had to show his boss that the girls wasn't a threat. Fury continued to listen while reading the girl's diary carefully while Sam got out to get the food he promised. When he got back, his boss was watching both of Hydra's best agents talking about their periods of peace and chaos with his hands befind his back.

"You hungry?" Sam asked munching on a big piece of his own cheeseburguer before handing one in the other man's direction.

Fury refused with a hand gesture and handed over her diary. He need to know nothing more, that was more than necessary.

"We're keeping her".

"Excuse me?"

"Project 001: Pandora", Fury repeated slowly, with a mischievous smirk in his face. "We're keeping her."

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

This is the last human mimic alien we have to fight.

He's realized he's lost because you people aren't running wild having orgies and you're listening to the DNA4U

And further more You all don't want to share.

When i posted the video of Miss Shawntae telling snoop it was time to snoop her body up... And then Snoop went all seductive to the camera...

122895x1000= men that said "Nigga ima beat your ass you know my wo/man gonna see that. You ain't need to be showing yourself!".

76584284×1000= said "ew i hope i don't have my any asking me to do anything tonight after what i just seen. My imagination gonna kill myself! And i know that's just wrong wrong wrong!"

Now multiply the digits together before the multiplication sign and that is approximately minus 1000 That supported Snoops message.

I did all 3. I had to advert my eyes even. Although he couldn't even see me.

Now Snoop and i know each other over 8000zillion years. So i can easily put myself in his shoes.

So he would walk in and I be having sex and he just sit down and start having a conversation. Like we having BBQ ribs and not sexual intercourse.

His wife tho .... He would make sure "the white boy was covered" and tease her don't look. She look at the carpet... Eventually it kept going on so i took a picture off the wall and put it on the floor where she always sat.

She said "why you do that?"

"I realize the kids keep jumping on the bed and knock it off. Snoop stare at you If you move your face. And unless you're on LSD it's no fun staring at the carpet. So i gave it to you where it seems you always be looking although i had to take a pretty healthy guess. I just felt you was having the most miserable time of all and as my friend it was my honor to trip out and give you a gift"

She used the reflection to put on her makeup and slept in bed later.,Snoop quit being so paranoid. Cause she would face the wall and lean against him.

Point is... Snoop be all like he was watching sports to make sure we got the score.

I mean. Man. Earth. We tried everything we could to stop these aliens from wanting to habe orgies. Even,took,away,their dicks!!!

We did everything. Planet.

Y'all locked up with your soulmates made little difference on this kick of his.

I been doing it. I been riding like I been going around the world 500 times. I love sex.

82% of y'all all around the Earth been having sex.

4% have watched porno

18% have had 1 wild orgies of those 18% -- 32% had s second one. Of those 0.00004981% have gone onto a third.

Of those having 2 or more orgies 92% were aliens

Leaving 8% Of 18% of the entire world interested enough in watching or having sex with other people than their soulmate.

Who saved the world?

100% of humans.

You all get $5 and that includes children.

He's done all he could and he's failed. 100%

I think Edgar might be human... Looking at his alien structure in the film.

But he treated me like an alien. Im still a POW.

Alex had to sell a bed because he acted non human. And Alex worked hard on it to make it perfect for me.

I would been fine gloating from it. Fighting and being sassy to aliens.

But then someone claiming to care about me,most of all abandoned his son and law and daughter. And i hear stories of him being evil.

Some time ago they asked me "do you want a dad or mom?"

"No"

"We need to know because the future of the,Earth,depends on it. And the future of you. Now do you want a dad or,not?!"

"The question is will i remain needing a dad or father figure in the future. No i am fine. I have male role models to keep the species alive. Males. (Species not gender) I also have my mom in Mrs Harriet Tubmam. And if that fails then at that time i should be able to get the rest of me. But she's fine. I'm fine. I just got to remain stable. But adding a father or another mother i don't know just yet can remain disasterous."

Luckily Alex didn't burn the bed down. But it was,bugged and bombed by "Edgar", to me 'its just another one of those things we have to clean"

Do i care? Nothing. He doesn't affect me. I worry about Alex having to,deal with it. But,hes being,and,staying clean,and,then when he's,scared he stays by other cold turkey or non users. He was,around Crystal meth yesterday and he tasted 1/4 of a gram. Like when you would put your finger in the sugar jar. Then lick it. The other guy smoked 4.9876 ounces and blew it all in their faces including the babies. Thus Alex got 7.698 grams ingested via second hand smoke.

I didn't notice but we got in a fight with each other. Just like we always do.

Alex and i power punched him and his eye socket -- ocular bone -- was crushed like glass in 17 cracks.

His jaw I punched more alone but with Alex and total both sides he lost 9 teeth. And had to be wired shut after 72 stiches because i split his upper palate in two. I cracked his lower palate in 8072 places. So if you found a skull it would rest on powder of his lower jaw and then you'll find the upper. After decaying..

Then Alex on the top of his head had 49 stitches to repair his soft tissue from his frontal lobe when he crashed to the floor after the super punch to eye hit the coffee table.

He did get one "good" punch in -- his skull hit Alex right in the right eye.

It fucking hurt but it hurts in a good way. Its weird it's like "reward!" Pain. No suffering. Fucking got him good tho. We feel it every now and again. May be it is when he realises we will kill him for good. He keeps remembering that sudden silence of death.

He's currently on life support. "Medically induced coma" is our non panic code words. But it's basically life support but usually not full life support. It isn't 100% life support medical machines. Its 75% or less.

So technically it's life support and coma mixed. So we csll it medically induced coma. This way you understand if your family is the one on the machines -- it's only 25% body life.... However there's a 75% of recovery via healing machines.

The CIA. Willl decide when to pull the plug. Usually medically induced coma is someone evil or someone bad with the ability to be good. Usually aliens go straight to coma status.

If an alien will die it's 1st life support then coma. Your friend or family will die.

They said medically induced coma. But at this time. His brain is incapable of human thought so I am putting him on life support.

This makes it the family's wishes.

Most of the time "next of kin" is spouse then parents/siblings. Then children last.

Which is wrong. It should be the future. Thus Erica and Steven will ask the babies. And together they will decide.

Last night as a CIA operative while he was in a medically induced coma i was told by at least 1 child and 2 adults to pull. I reviewed. While they spoke from shock and relief their true feelings.

Knowing that the children escaped life with Eric once. I don't feel the right to allow Eric to live. I know the consequences of his actions caused two children to leave my planet in fear and terror and disgust because of Eric.

Erica was my 3rd pregnancy to abort and hold souls.

I hate Eric. That's why i punched him in the fucking face. I was happily surprised that Alex did it. Too in person.

Since the infants are involved and already resurrected. And had a nightmare of a time in less than 36 hours on Eaerth.

I allow them to be there to pull the plug, they can actually yank and pull the plug themselves.

So that is what i want and what the children need.

It will show Eric he doesn't belong here and has no,reason to,be at 25%

It makes life easier for all of us.

Eric was an outdoor kid. Like John and Jason and Greg. Etc. He never went into my school.

They didn't have to. And actually weren't ever enrolled. They liked the man work to learn to survive on their own.

While i taught the children the indoor stuff. The expansion of the mind.

I taught them the economy so the men working to increase their own economical structure could be helped to be taken in under their wings.

I left no one behind.

But he refused confirming.

1. Alcoholic system to drop other drugs. -- he uses crystal meth. Without cut backs. Without moderation

$5 if yoh remember and realized i said make smoothies without alcohol to share with your kids.

2. He blew it in their faces on purpose them injesting over 2.4 grams each.

Erica and Alex would cover their faces with thick blankets when the smoke came towards them.

It was quite a hostage situation. Knowing he could take the newborns and kill them in front of them.

Its happened to me 985 Point 2 times. I'm 35 years old.

875.8 times it's been with a knife.

Take the numbers and multiply by 10 million. For the last some kinda lots of 8 thousand zillion years.

It even happened to Alex. He he has the scars. From,this and last life., it,has happened.

So for me they're terrifying. Unless I'm there... I have saved 900 billion times 30 thousand. I those situations.

But i always remember the ones i lost.

So don't worry when I'm suicidal. Just leave me alone. Don't talk to me. I need silence.

So dead babies y'all.

Dead aliens.

It will be done

I seen that actually quite beautiful meme of April 2020 the clouds and UFO.

I don't get mad or violent because I'm stepped back to watch y'all cope.

But I say to y'all "fuck no that's not happening" I say to that UFO "Fucking try it you will all die" i just scroll on because I get so angry. I get so mad. Its a beautiful photo but i refused to repost it because it isn't something i support.

Most reposts of memes are supported unless i type something on the bottom. Saying it's not.

So my dad. I didn't care until i saw The Rock, "her dad is alive" all happy and in support.

Then i was bothered. Then I cared. Then i felt something about it. But until then i felt nothing.

I didn't feel shame..i felt that were all made of glass.

Because I was happy to have a dad.. One that seemed good. I was actually happy.

And it was kept personal to me... But then I saw the Rock felt it. Then I began to feel..

Broken. But Alex kept it together and started getting rid of the bed. Taking it down. Removing bombs. And fixing all that ass hole did "my dad"

I know the Rock.. He can handle. His dad just died. And we did a lot for him.

So for him to be elated. I get through the day thinking no one really cares what i feel and they don't pay kuch attention..but the Rock in that moment in time.

He was happy. And i knew then i had to Destroy a light of happiness inside him and he looked away from the camera to say "we are all happy. The while world"

DNA4U list one person as my father. He's my uncle..

Edgar claimed it was his 18th cousin.

You know, it doesn't matter.

Donate. Mr Lee Tubman. And more. They're my dads. They kept me safe. Taught me to be wiser and more caring about myself. Donte was 2 years younger than me. But he was a father figure. Guy was the fun dad. Fred Flintstone i called one friend's dad was the fishing buddy. We were not close but he was a silent father figure.

I stole all my friends dads. Borrowed them. Their moms, too.

I have 1800 moms that I call mom.

I know who my moms and dads are.

Just like Erica called me mom the other day and Brittany will too. And Alex my cousin's son. Candy. Brandy. Declan.

So i know i have a family that understands it doesn't matter how I got here. It matters who treated me well. Matthew McCognohey. Kid rocks. They're like my dad's and my kids. Uncles and Cousins.

Blood doesn't matter. Shit half the time Snoop is my God or dad or bother or husband or little kid i have to save. He's my friend.

Snoop is too much of everything. He is my co-nigger. My partner in many crimes against humanity (practical jokes)

I call him my Friend. But my family wouldn't be complete without him and Shawntae.

Harriet. I call her momma all the time. It feels natural. Sometimes i call her old lady.

So while i was joyful for a moment thinking I found someone that actually cared to find out he didn't.

I myself wasn't affected until i knew others would be

Its just a lesson in life. Don't trust people.

I told Alex abandon ship, fuck that place. Ain't no one can go in there!!

He understood and agreed then took the role "no,one is driving me and her from our home." He decided to defend the homestead. That is the role a man takes

Im all you gotta sweep the whole place,then,rest and do,it again,2 more times at least.,Then,again when,I,get there. If i get there.

But i feel good to know my lover isn't gonna let anyone drive him down. Just turn around. Learn a lesson. Clean the mess.

Why do i need a father when i have a man?

Clearly i am an independent woman and always have been.

But i need a family. Otherwise I have no point to live.

And that is why i am suicidal.

I don't see s point to live. Not when Alex and i fight and i don't want him to talk to me cause some alien got in our way once again.

He was double attacked by aliens.

So if their desire is for me to die... Then they should keep,doing it.

If,not they need to stay out of my way so i can,get my family,together again.,in,real life.

My family that I know is my family. Not aliens. Not fans. Not someone that needs to apologize to me or needs an explanation.

People that can think on their own and not be reminded they need to have love in their spirit.

Now Snoop sometimes plays the role of my brother. And we are competitive. It just makes us proud of each other and ourselves for surviving a challenge. I do it to him too but I play old hard skill. He plays old new remember when. I do ancient V-Ball and he does pop and country experience.

So his spirit is of an ego -- which salutes the fact we will grow.

Often we do the spirit of mischievous. To remind danger still exists but we will have fun and love in the end.

Friend. Someone that is gonna fry you but the end od what matters.

Sometimes we relax and chill. But them old cogwheels of the mind never quit rolling. Advance. Advance. Lets keep it going don't stop.

He's like me. Suicidal.

But he used to release his inner poison. Now he makes it not exist by doing something else ....

But me? Nothing helps but the mimic of death itself. Silence.

People are what causes it. Alien people.

So you humans. Keep on being you.

Its you that is gonna save the world

I gave you guidelines to help us out this mess.

Because I can't even see y'all because the aliens surrounding me trying to get my last breath.

Show me you. Save us. You're doing good

I got $5 on y'all that we make it.

[dontyouhearmehowling]

oh my god. Ok so I just scrolled through your blog and my heart hurts because there is so much love and just so much stuff I can relate too and I just ahhh damnnn it I cant even but like can I please have the story of your relationship with this girl your with? please? i'm a hopeless romantic I feel too much I love so hard my own love life is complicated but i know the kind of love you talk about thats exactly how i love the love of my life too so yours is a story I need to hear

ok so. it all started on April 31st, 2018. i reblogged one of those ask games and she sent me an emoji that said “i’m too scared to talk to you but i think you’re great” and i was like do it!!! and she did!!!! she texted me after i had already gone to sleep tho, so i only answered the next day. but then we talked all day. and the next. and the next. and we never ran out of things to talk about and even only knowing her for a few days i already felt comfortable enough with her to talk about anything?? it was wild. since day 1 we’ve had this connection that i’ve never had with anyone else and its my favorite thing in the world. after like a week we already had a bunch of inside jokes, something that i’d never had before, and i was already crushing on her. ok so we became very close friends like immediately, and i mostly ignored my crush on her bc i thought she didn’t like me back and usually i’d get meaningless crushes on everyone at first before i met her. but then this other girl and i started flirting and i realized i didnt like her bc i liked c too much, so i broke things off and kinda went like “oh shit this is real” and decided that i’d just stay friends with c until i eventually couldnt take it anymore and had to tell her abt my feelings bc thats how i am. anyways ok cool meanwhile i made her watch the good place on rabb.it with me which will be relevant later.

ok so fast forward to may 21st or something around that time. its time to sleep bc i have school the next day so we say goodnight, but then i guess she says something or reblogs something and i get sad bc i realize she doesnt like me back. so i make some hashtag sad posts abt yearning and then i realize i told her i was going to sleep and i didnt want her to think i didnt want to talk to her so i text her again and say like “ok i was going to go to sleep but then i got sad abt my crush” and SHE GOES “you have a crush????????” and im there like. what in the hell bc not only did i not try to hide it At All, i constantly posted about it and had an entire tag about her and i thought it was pretty obvious. so anyways i go “yes?? i thoought you knew that?? im literally always posting about it??” and she asks me to talk abt the crush and who it is. i say “just stalk the tag if u want, im going to sleep” then shes like “nO WAIT WHO IS IT” and im like. blatantly ignoring that and my heart is already beating out of my chest but she Really wants to know and then at one point i say “please dont make me answer that” so shE SAYS “you’re making me think that its me” and i say “i dont know what you want me to say” and SHE GOES “I WANT YOU TO SAY THAT ITS ME BC I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU” so i just. die. right then and there. also yknow we talk about it and its like after 1 am and im just happier than i’ve ever been. ok so 2 days later she asks me out Officially and its great and shes the cutest gf ever and she made me feel more wanted than i’d ever felt in my entire life. then 6 days later she sends me a big big big text on tumblr and long story short (bc it was kinda personal), she would be deleting her all social media for the summer.

so she was gone. and we had only dated for a week at this point, but we’d known each other for 2 months, and i already loved her. i already knew she was the love of my life. i didnt even try to move on, i’d tell people i didnt wanna move on cuz i knew i was meant to love her. i had another blog like this that i used to talk about how much i loved and missed her (so like. exactly like this). i literally reasoned with myself that like. that happened because before i met her i was in a really bad place after a terrible relationship and i was almost giving up on finding someone who actually made me feel loved bc i thought it would never happened, so i was like “ok so i was in a really bad place, so the universe brought my soulmate a little early just for a while so that i would know i had to hold on, and when its actually time for us to be together, it will bring us to each other once again” like i actually told myself that, in those words. and yknow what? i wasnt even wrong. on july 15th she texted me from an empty tumblr with her old url and at first i literally couldnt believe it but we talked for hours and hours and i asked her what happened bc i thought she was disconnecting for the summer and she said “i was. i am. i just couldnt not talk to you anymore” and she said that she thought about me every single day, and i told her i missed her and she said she didnt text sooner bc she thought i’d be angry at her and ofc i wouldnt, i could never be angry at her and besides, she was just taking care of herself and i said i dont think i could be anything less than head over heels for for, and she said she felt the same way, but wasnt ready to be more than friends yet. but that had always been more than enough for me. just having her in my life would always be more than enough for me. so we stayed friends.

then, on august 9th i got this ask.

and she saw it after i said i was gonna go to bed (bc again, i had school the next day) and she texted me a whole thing about how that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about her and that i should be asleep but she had to get it out of her chest and that her anxiety made it hard for her to show how much i meant to her so she was sorry if i didnt know and this would probably make no sense but she was tired of keeping it to herself bc shes the luckiest person alive for having met me and that it was gonna be so hard because shes so difficult (shes not) and her anxiety is difficult but that she literally spent every night thinking about me and of buying plane tickets to come see me so that she could be with me. then she was like “im sorry if this is uncomfortable to you and you can just ignore it but i think im in love with you and this is over text and not romantic at all (it was the most romantic night of my life) but you’re asleep (i wasnt) and we arent together but i want to be one day” and until this i was Trying to fall asleep and then i checked my phone that kept RINGING and died a thousand times over and started to answer and she sent other texts saying “i’ve never felt this way about anyone before i’m so in love with you its fucking ridiculous and this is gonna be so complicated but fuck i want this so bad / i’m sorry it took me so long / would you move to new york with me?” and i was This Close to literally fucking exploding like. how the hell was this happening how was it not a DREAM. so we talked and i obviously said i loved her too and eventually she asked me out and thats still probably the best night of my life. other highlights: “i’ve loved you way before august 9th so jot that down” and “off topic but i love you / you’re honestly my other half” and, after i said “you cant make me laugh its 2am”, she answered “i’m going to make you laugh for the rest of your life so help me god” and thats my favorite thing anyone has ever said to me probably and so far she’s kept her word.

anyways we got back together and then she told me that she never even told her friends she broke up with me??? bc that way she could keep pretending we were still together???? literally like sjdksndk imagine being this loved. i dont have to. anyways she wrote poems abt me sometimes and her christmas gift for me was gonna be a book with all her poems and she called it “what we owe to each other” because of the good place (remember how i said it’d be relevant later? its later) bc like she said that when we were watching tgp together on rabb.it thats when she realized that she Really Truly liked me like For Real. and the inscription on the book was going to be “to the girl i love / and what i owe her” and. yall. i cry. anyways one of the poems had a huge impact on us. heres the story:

and she got them but we broke up before she got to mail them to me. what happened was she had some mental health problems and she said she couldnt give me what i needed at the time but knew i’d still give her my all bc thats just how i am and she thought it wouldnt be fair so she broke things off to work on her mental health. she said she would need some time before we could be friends. the last thing we said was that we loved each other. this was in like november 2018, and we didnt talk for months. i actually tried to move on this time after a while, but it didnt take. and then i gave up for good. havent tried since. but anyways, then, on march 11th, 2019, i had my first day of college back in my home country, and we have this “pranks”/games that seniors get to do to the freshmen, and one of them required eggs, and they asked us to paint them, so i panted mine as iron man bc it was easy, but c LOVES iron man. like. LOVES. like in a Whole New Level of loving. once when we were dating she said she loved me more than tony stark and i was like. shook. like she tattooed “T.S” on her ankle after him. u get the point. she loves him very much, its adorable and endearing and i love it. anyways. so i sent her a picture of it saying like “you dont have to answer this but i made this for my university and i thought you would like it” and she answered and IMMEDIATELY something clicked and we talked and talked and talked and it was never weird or awkward or uncomfortable. it never is with her. its incredible, i cant explain it. i Know shes my soulmate like thats the ONLY possible explanation for this kind of connection. its unreal. anyways. we became friends again! all was well.

then one beautiful night she drunk texts me sndjkajs she sends me so many texts and says it sucks that we live so far away and that she saw my posts (in this particular case, one that said something about like. when she talked about love now, was it about someone else?) and she said that it wasnt. and then she went to sleep and i only saw the texts when i woke up and i was DYING bc we had a 4 hour difference and it’d take a while for her to wake up. when she did, we talked and she said she wasnt over me and was scared she might never be, and even though we were still gonna stay friends, it was nice to know that she still loved me. ok so fast forward a bit more and i was starting to wonder if she’d moved on again, when she finds out her best friend had a crush on her, and that conversation ends up with her saying “it was 100% platonic for me / sorry if thats weird i just wanted you to know that” and it was NOT weird it was GREAT NEWS bc i was Hella jealous of her best friend and at first i wondered if they were dating and anyways the fact that she wanted me to know that was a pretty good hint that she still had feelings for me. ngl im still somewhat jealous of h (c’s best friend), but thats just bc im an insecure lil bitch and also bc they get to go out and do stuff together that i cant do with c bc of the distance, yknow? but anyways. then she went on a graduation trip in mid to the end of june and she bought me a magnet. just. out of nowhere. i cannot stress enough how Incredibly unexpected this was. so much so that i actually convinced myself that it meant she was over me????? literally. what the fuck. anyways we named him together and coincidentally (or bc of soulmate powers. who knows) we both had the same favorite names. i still love that.

okay so then we go to july 29th, 2019. first of all theres one of my favorite interactions Ever which was like after i was venting about something and i was thanking her and i said “you’re always here for me” to which she answered “nowhere else i’d rather be” and i still think thats peak romance and i will take no criticism on this. anyways so then she sent me a poem that she wrote based on a song i’d sent her (the song i called “heaven is a place” and its the BIGGEST mood for being in love and i sent it to her bc it was how i felt about her so her writing a poem about it?? literally the best thing ever. love it) anyways it was a beautiful poem and i cried and got very emotional and kinda went too far in my compliments (aka being very obvious about my romantic feelings) and then i was like oh no sorry if i made u uncomfortable and she was like. “you have NEVER. EVER EVER EVER EVER made me uncomfortable” “you’re the only person on planet earth i am comfortably myself around” and “there’s nothing you could ever say that i wouldn’t wanna hear” and anyways it was just very good and romantic conversation even tho we were just cough cough platonic hashtag gal pals hashtag no homo ✌️ and then she was like ok wait. i need to talk to u abt something. and in short she said she was waiting for us and i was like well what are you waiting for exactly? and she was like idk?? for us to accidentally bump into each other in new york in a few years?? WHICH WAS LITERALLY WHAT I’D DAYDREAM ABOUT BACK IN JUNE 2018 BEFORE SHE CAME BACK OKAY so anyways we had a Great conversation and said i love you about a thousand times each and she decided she was gonna buy tickets to come see me. and then she dID like TWO DAYS LATER. lichrally. queen of impulsivity but in the best way possible.

—————

ok quick edit here cuz i forgot to say that when i found out she was coming i asked for my mom’s help to make a necklace pendant for her from scratch. my mom works with prosthetics so she has the material to make jewelry and back when c and i were dating in 2018 i had made this lil design for a necklace that had the moon and the ocean (bc duh) and i was gonna give it to her for valentines day in 2019 but we broke up before that so i didnt get the chance, but when i found out i was meeting her i knew i had to. so i made the necklace in wax, like this:

and my mom took it to her work and heated it up to melt it and keep the shape of it to fill with silver, and this was the result:

i gave it to her when she got here and she wore it while she was here and it made me so happy. ok edit over

—————

ok so we kept being like couple-y but not officially in a relationship bc we didnt want to make her anxiety worse. also at one point she was like “so about the ‘i love you more than the moon/ocean’ thing, since we BOTH love BOTH of the moon AND the ocean, i think its only Fair if we update our love declarations to ‘i love you more than the mocean’ bc its mix of both but thats not a word, buT its pronounced exactly like ‘motion’. therefore we should both start saying ‘i love you more than the motion’”. so now we have both the wonderful, romantic, original version, and the NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL DO U HEAR ME C??? version :) and after this day she always started with the WORST!!!!!! version, and i always started with the Only Valid Version, but we’d still answer each other’s ofc because. well. thats love i gues?? it sorta goes like this though: her: i love you more than the motion / me: i hate u / me: i literally hate u so much / me: i Also love you more than the motion

but anyways she was coming to visit me but the plane ticket wasnt for my home country it was for where i was going to university at (a new university, i was starting over) and when i first got here on this campus, i didnt have a working phone number for this country, and i wouldnt be able to access the wifi for 3 days, so i had no way of talking to her. it was TERRIBLE and i missed her more than anything in my LIFE but when i got wifi (after CRYING to the people here bc theyre the most unorganized uni ever and i was already very overwhelmed and stressed) i immediately called her and she’d sent me over 100 text messages dkfjssjks it was amazing, there were two (2) videos of her singing (which is like. objectively the best thing in the world, and the song was rlly romantic and i love it sm when she showed it to me for the first time she said it made her think abt me), a poem, AND a HUGE text with “i love you” written like. a THOUSAND TIMES. seriously i have a gif of it opening and scrolling bc it was so long that the text wouldnt show up directly on the chat screen and u have to click on it to see the rest. i’d never felt more loved in my entire life by anyone ever. anyways so then it came the day for her to get here and i had to wake up at 5 am to go get her at the airport and the uber was like $40 but who CARES it was the best day of my LIFE and i got there 20 minutes earlier bUT GUESS WHAT SO DID SHE (hashtag just soulmate things) then we facetimed the entire time while she was walking through the airport and getting her luggage and then she hung up to walk to the door where i was and we hugged for like 5 minutes and we were totally in people’s way and also almost fell but it was the best thing in the world and i never should’ve let her go. but, we had to go home, so i did. and we spent 4 days together and im not gonna go into details bc this is already too long but u can always send me another ask about her visit if ur not a coward. also i bought her a hoodie from my uni and whenever she wears it i just. die. in short, those days were the happiest i’ve ever been. this campus res had never felt like home before that friday and it hasnt again since that monday, but i swear to god, during those 4 days, this was the only place i could possibly belong.

anyways then she left and i cried for the entire uber ride home and then i cried all day. lmao. also when she was here she gave me the poetry book, the magnet, and the bracelet. still wear the bracelet every single day and i love it more than anything. but then personal stuff happened and we kinda stopped being couple-y again and we’re just friends now but before new years i asked her if she still loved me and she said yes and she said she’d tell me if it changed so ✌️✌️ im assuming it hasnt. even tho my brain is a bitch and everyday its like. today. today is the day. this is when its gonna happen. buT yknow we’ve spent months before without even talking to each other and we got through that still in love, so i mostly ignore it. and tbh i know that actually like, even if we grow apart now (god forbid, but still) we’ll find our way back to each other eventually. like, i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: nothing, not even the universe itself, can convince me that shes not my soulmate. and even if it turns out i’m not hers, loving her is still the greatest honor i can think of.

another edit: also i started drawing recently and the first person i’ve ever finished drawing was her and also (surprise surprise @c since you’re already seeing all my feelings anyway) bc of my second drawing i almost missed the deadline for one of my midterms (which was a take-home test) bc instead of writing it i spent the entire day before the deadline finishing the drawing which was a secret valentines day gift (secret as in she didnt know it was supposed to be a gift, she thought it was just a drawing inspired by a quote that she loves) and i finished at 2 am but shes 3 hours behind so for her it was still 11 pm which MEANS it was still valentines day so it still counts, i win, lesbian rights!

[jksofficialwifey]

Sugar, Sugar.

Sugar daddy!Jin au & fckbuddy jungkook drabble

pairing: jk x reader/jin x reader

warnings: nsfw & sexual themes, cussing, a bit of smut if u squint hard enough, toxic relationships.

A/N: this was rushed and unedited, but i just wanted to post this drabble & get done with it so there's that 😝 sorry for the grammatical errors & errythin as always. ily all tho & i hope u enjoy this shtpost 😁😘

♡

"Come get back in bed babe, I'm sure he can wait." Jungkook pleads, his lips now starting to pout.

"You know I can't kook, and even if I know he'll wait, I wouldn't want him to." You say, as you put on your clothes hurriedly, preparing to leave.

"Of course, you wouldn't want to keep your glucose grandpa waiting so long. He might have a heart attack or something," He sarcastically retorted now sitting up on the bed.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny kook. Though that ain't it, He's not even a grandpa. He's still 26, very healthy and active, if you must know."

"Ya whatever. He's the same age as my older brother though, your glucose granddaddy's probably uglier." He scoffed.

"Hey! My Financial supporter isn't ugly, He's ethereal. I bet if you saw him you'd want to be his sugar baby too. Your straight ass would probably reconsider being straight cos he's too beautiful for this world." You confidently replied.

"So, is that why you like him that much? cos he's beautiful? he prob gives good head too. But I know for a fact, no one can devour your pussy the best like me." he says and smiles smugly. "Ew. Please don't use big or cringy deep words again when talking about our sexy time, or I'm really gonna vomit. Also, I've told you a thousand times we haven't done anything. Not all sugar daddy relationships do and have to do stuff like that you know."

"Sure, says the one who used sexy time to describe how we make love. And if you're gonna vomit, do it on his expensive ass floor mat. Since he can afford to replace it and the whole house if he wanted to."

"I really have to go kook, see you whenever i do," You say now truly heading for the door. He just nods at you, acts indifferently though he was begging for you to stay a little longer, just awhile ago.

"Jin, Sorry if i was late. The traffic was horrible you know how they are."

You tell him upon arriving at his place, though you know it wasn't just the traffic that made you arrive late, it was because of another guy you didn't tell him about but he didn't seem to bother to ask too. "It's okay love, I completely understand. How are you today though? are you feeling alright? you texted me yesterday that you were so tired, are you overworking yourself again?" He says a bit concerned and empathetically.

He's always been so considerate and kind to you, and you've always liked that about him. "Yea, I'm good. Peachy. I was just worn out because of work yesterday, (and of riding jungkook's cock til we both passed out) but now i'm feeling great." You smiled at him trying to reassure him you were fine.

"How about you dear? dear. your endearment for him, how are you feeling today?" You asked. "I'm feeling good too. Actually better, now that you're here with me." He smiled, and you blushed a little embarrassingly, though it was cheesy but you had a soft spot for him.

"Anyway, I'm glad you aren't overworking yourself, but remember you can always ask me for more support if you want to. You know I'd give you everything in the world, anything for you." You were quite flustered by his words.

"Thanks, Jin. for everything really, you've always been so kind and helpful to me, though I don't do much or even enough for you, to repay you." was your pathetic reply.

"No, don't say that again love. You know, you being here with me is enough. You don't have to do filthy things to repay me. You know I'd be happy already if you just spend your time with me."

"But what if i want to do filthy things with you? I mean, if you allow me to. I want to make you feel good, daddy." You don't always call him daddy, in fact you rarely call him that. Your relationship was just pure companionship actually. That was what you both agreed on, when your partnership started. You both wouldn't do anything sexual ever. At first you thought he was asexual, but he said he wasn't when you asked him. Now, you wanted to repay him for all the good things he's done for you, but how will you when he doesn't want you to? You were confused and a bit taxed actually.

"Y/N you know what we agreed on...let's not break our agreement. I think you should rest more, maybe you're still feeling unwell." he replied quite tiredly. he doesn't usually call you by your name too, was he mad? disappointed? you weren't sure, but you didn't like it and you weren't sure you wanted to know.

"Ok...I'll just go to the room then," you replied. "Actually love, I think you should just go home. Maybe you'll be more comfortable resting there." Did he just say he wanted you out of his sight? ouch that hurt quite a bit, ok mayhaps a lot.

"Oh. ok then, I'll go home sorry for bothering you," You say, starting to walk away from him and head for the door. "Y/N, It's not like that. You know you're not a bother to me, and you never will be." Jin says.

"No, I get it. You don't want me and that's okay, we're just fellow associates anyway right?" you snap at him.

"No, why are you being like this love? I do want you. I just don't want us to be like them and everyone else. I don't want us to use eachother to that exent. I want us to be friends first, to get closer and if it leads to something more then why not? please...let's not fight about this," he pleads pityfully.

"Do you really though? do you want me? anyway, it doesn't matter. Let's just talk about it later tom. just call me or whatever." You say as you open the door and head out fast, not hearing what he might've replied to your question.

"You're back early? bet ya 5 bucks glucose guardian had a stroke and u had to send him to the ER and leave him there?" Jungkook was still there when you came back, and on his dumb ass phone, playing games. Apparently he was in a mood for jokes as always, but you weren't.

"Stfu junglecock, I'm not in the mood. Why are you still here anyway? don't you have other hoes to do? just make sure to always keep safe and try to catch fewer curable stds, or I'll never fck your nasty ass again."

"Wow someone's pretty ass is pissed, what's wrong baby? did your grandpa have a hard time getting his ancient magic stick up? is that why you're so mad cos you needed a good dicking down but you didn't get it?" he annoyingly implied.

"Jungkook, if you don't shut the f up for real you'll never be able to use your magic stick again, and I'm really serious about it." you glared at him as you said it.

"Ok. fine babe, chill. I know what always helps you relax..." He says as he drops his phone and moves towards you, backhugging you and rubbing your shoulders softly. He knows that you like how calming it feels although you don't forget the sexual implication that comes with it too.

"You know you can tell me anything right? we're not just fuckmates, we're saltmates too. We're friends aren't we?" He says while looking at you, trying to guess what's on your mind. "Of course we are kook. It's just things with jin...I feel like I'm not doing enough or good enough for him. Sometimes I feel like he just doesn't want me, but then he says he does. And I'm just- confused i guess."

"Hey, don't be too hard on yourself babe. You both agreed on that partnership, so why should you do more than what you agreed on? he's not asking for other things or forcing you to do something to repay him right?" he says a bit bitterly.

"No. He's not like that." You reassure jungkook. "Anyway, we'll probably make up later tom. and everything'll be just fine. So, you were talking about helping me to de-stress?" you told him suggestively.

You and jungkook went on it all through out the night. He pounded on you like there was no tomorrow. After your 8th round, the both of you were taxed and almost asleep. Or so you thought he was too, til he made small talk.

"Baby, are you still awake?" he asked, moving closer wrapping his arm around your waist to hold you tight. You mumbled something like "urm yea" and he took a peek at you to see if you we're still actually awake.

"You don't have to go back to him ya know," he said out of the blue, making you face him. "You could stay with me. You could be happy with me y/n. We could fuck forever happily." You didn't know what to say to that.

"Can i be honest? these past few months I didn't think I'd feel something more for you, But I did. I do. I kinda like you more than just a fckfriend y/n, hell I think I'm inlove with you. Do you feel the same way? even just a bit?" he suddenly asked and you didn't really know what to respond. So you replied something lame, "I think you're just tired guk, maybe we should really sleep now." You said looking somewhere else in the room, anywhere but his handsome face, you tried to avoid the subject, hoping that maybe he'll drop it and forget it but you know he won't.

"Is that your reply to my confession? Wow, I didn't think you'd be this mean baby. Are you rejecting me cos I'm not as rich as him? I can support us both too you know. I can save up for the things that will prob cost us our whole lives if you want to have them. Anything for you. I may not be as debonair and grand as him, but I promise you I'll love you and give you everything you want more than him. You'll have my whole heart and all of my attention, so will you please stay and choose me instead?" he begged. But you already made your choice a long time ago.

"I like you too guk, and I'll stay." you said though you know better. You lied. You left his handsome figure still sleeping soundly behind. After you told him you'll stay last night, you both fell asleep right after. But now here comes the morning, and you're already halfway to the door. You take one last look at his beautiful face, knowing it might be a long time before you see it again.

"Jin, I think I wanna go with you on that business trip." You said to him, eager to leave with him right away. "You mean the one in Japan I'll be going to later? I thought you didn't wanna come love? but ok, i guess you changed your mind. it'll be lovely to be with you there." You're glad he's okay with you coming with him.

"Yeah, I realized it'd be boring here on my own and I already filed a leave for work. And i'd probably miss you too so I wanna come with you." you said and a faint blush showed on your cheeks.

"Just probably? so you won't really miss me? jk. love, did you already pack your things? you should get ready. I'll have to stop by the office for a bit to get some things, so just meet me there when you're done. I'll be going now, so I can get ready and check that I didn't forget anything at the office, so I'll see you later love?"

"Yea, see you later Jin." You didn't call him by your endearment but you hope he didn't mind. To your surprise and delight, he gave you a peck on the cheek before running off to leave.

"Uh excuse me, can I ask if Jin's still inside his office?" you told the secretary.

"Kim Seokjin our CEO? yes, he's still inside his office. And who are you miss?" The secretary inquired.

"Uh I'm-"

"She's my girlfriend and fiancee. Her name is y/n and you should remember her face from now on." The familiar ethereal voice said from behind you, It was Jin who just arrived to meet you. The secretary apologized soon after, she was probably regretting why she had asked that question, though you assured her it was okay. "Hyung are you leaving now for that japan business- Y/N, is it really you?"

You wouldn't forget the owner of that voice of course. Though you left him behind. He spoke from behind you, and you didn't wanna face him or move. You didn't until Jin asked you, "Love, do you know my brother jungkook?" You turned slowly to face them, and mustered the courage to reply.

"Yes, We were kinda friends during college." you lamely said. "Oh. You didn't tell me you were friends with my brother. Anyway, yes jungkook I'll be going on that business trip, and Y/N will be accompanying me." Jin told his younger brother.

How could you even know jungkook was his younger brother when he didn't even tell you? He might've mentioned a brother before, but Jin didn't say it was actually Jeon Jungkook. And they have different last names anyway, so they're probably just half brothers? your pondering was interrupted by no other than jungkook speaking,

"Oh really? Before you go though, can i ask y/n this question; Is my brother the sugar daddy you were always talking about? or is your glucose guardian a different one too?" his words shocked and hurt you, though you couldn't blame him, you hurt him too.

"Jungkook, what the hell are you talking about? you don't know anything about us you brat. Mind your own damn business." You've never heard Jin cuss before, or it was rare that he did. Mayhaps he was really mad this time.

"Y/N what is he talking about? what does he mean that I'm the one you're always talking about with him? I thought you were just old college friends?" Jin inquired. "Jin...I-" you wanted to tell him about everything, but no words seem to come out of your pathetic little mouth yet.

"Oh come on baby, It's just a simple question. Is my brother the old hag you always come back to, for money or what? if he isn't, then how many are they? just curious babe." Jungkook sarcastically said. Jin was furious at this point, how dare Jungkook call you his baby? and the accusations he's saying are just over the top. Jin knows he's your only financial supporter, he's the only one right? "Jungkook you ass-" before jin could finish speaking, you spoke, though you were holding back tears.

"Yes. He's my benefactor, my sugar daddy, whatever you call it. And so what if he is kook? it's none of your business anymore. And just for the record, he's the only one. I don't have any other patrons or sugar daddies."

"Great. Just fcking amazing then, You were screwing both of us at the same time, that's why you never told me your sugar daddy's name, you planned this didn't you? I didn't see you as a gold digger who targets siblings but here we are-" Jin grabbed Jungkook by the collar because he couldn't take all the bullcrap the younger was saying about you. "Jungkook if you don't shut your filthy mouth I swear-"

"You'll what hyung? punch me? kill me? I'm already dead. Can't you see hyung? she's the one playing with us! ask her what the two of us have been doing behind your back! Sorry hyung, but i didn't know you were her sugar daddy though," Jungkook shouted.

"Love, I don't know if what he's saying is true, but i wanna hear it from you. Please tell me what's going on? why is he saying you're screwing the both of us?" Jin pleaded at you.

"I...he's my fckbuddy Jin. I'm so sorry, we didn't touch each other and I have my needs, so i had to find someone else to fulfill them. But we stopped it already. I left him and lied, and maybe that's why he's so mad at me." You said exhausted with it all,

"I promise you though I didn't know he was your brother, and I wouldn't have messed around with him if I knew. Dear, please believe me. I truly am sorry." Now it was you who was pleading.

"I'm not mad at you for leaving, I'm mad at you for lying to me. You shouldn't have said you felt something for me when you didn't." Jungkook said, now more glum than angry.

"You were really lovers then? You should have told me you wanted to hook up with other people y/n. We could've made it clear in our agreement. Maybe all of us wouldn't be hurting so much," Jin calmed down too, though disappointment and sadness was written all over his face. "I can't and won't compete with my brother y/n, we might not agree with things all the time but I can't bear to see him hurt. Jungkook likes you, and if I have to let you go so he'll stop hurting, then I will."

"No. Jin please don't do this, you're the one that I love, not Jungkook. Please don't give me up." You begged jin.

"I'm sorry love, but I can't choose you." And that was the last thing Jin said before he left you.

Jungkook took took you back after all, and you started dating him. You've learned to like him after Jin left. Though you heard Jin inherited their multi-billion dollar company in japan, and was managing it too. You were just moping around when you got a text from your boyfriend Jungkook: "When are you coming home babe?" it read. "Probably not soon yet, babe" you replied.

"What do u mean baby? how long are you gon stay there?" he texted again, probably for a really long time You replied mentally. You were still on your business trip or that's what jungkook thought, what he doesn't know is that Jin is the business trip, and you're just on your way there. You liked Jungkook he was hot, but you loved Jin more or maybe his money a whole lot.

~fin~

[jeongjaebae]

the fact u actually planned out a sequel OH MY GOD AND THE BOUQUETS ARE A HIMT FOR WHATS TO COME???? HELLO?????? MAN HOW COULD I GET EVEN SADDER i better be like the first person you inform if you ever decide to write/post it

AND YES I SEE TYAT TOO i think i only have one enemies to lovers with hyunjae but otherwise ive always seen him as the caring older brother figure (even in kidult where he's...six) JUST PLAYFUL ALL SMILES he very much suits all angst i dont think i can really pin him towards one trope...BUT I MEAN HEY MCD- no okay but ive seen a shit ton of sunwoo with enemies to lovers, eric too, TBH ALL OF TBZ id gladly punch Any of them with my fists anyday. even jacob. always jacob. no that's a lie i love him WAIT NOW IMAGINE ENEMIES TO LOVERS WITH JACOB................LIKE THE JACOB BAE okay omg i need to stop

ALSO REGARDING HOLDING ON yes he, kevin, and jacob make an appearance in holding on. a little hint for jacobs character but as y/n's friend, he tries to hold back any information about younghoon. basically y/n throughout the story is trying to remember who this mf is and jacob is like yEah idk what ur talkinh abt YK?

listen its so funny ive never had this bias problem with ANY OTHER GROUPS maybe nct dream where i switched biases every week but if you had to guess who my bias is in tbz, you literally couldn't. not even my sisters and my closest friends could pinpoint a member with me because i literally switch up on them so very often, I DO HAVE A NECKLACE OF SANGYEON AND A TEDDY BEAR with his voice but i was hak biased at the time i decided to have both of those things? and i got erics voice in superstartbz WHICH I HIGHLYYYYYY DONT RECOMMEND THIS MF SAYS OH NOOOOO EVERYTIME U MISS IM TEMPTED TO BUY ANOTHER MEMBERS VOICE BC OF HOW ANNOYING IT IS i saw this all jokingly and lighthearted bc eric is really cute but Why did i do this to myself. wait okay i wanna rant about tbz so ill do that in another ask since this one is getting too long

LOL it's kinda funny bc my sequel is a bit like what you commented on a fic reblog? bc juyeon owns the flower shop where those flowers were from, and y/n visits when she gets flowers for hyunjae's grave. oh but juyeon's married. you can probably imagine the rest (or maybe not, there are twists hehe). i guess it's not sad in a tear jerking way but more like... an empty or bittersweet way :')

ahh hyunjae does fit as the caring older brother figure!! i saw the clips of him on that "we became a family" show and he's so caring towards kanghoon (?) and the other kids!! but omg enemies to lovers with jacob... that could be interesting 👀 i never really thought of juyeon in that trope either but stereotype sets it up pretty well (although i feel bad for him esp with how this first part ended 😭)

omg. you're gonna hurt jacob too. jacob... holding back how sad he feels watching what y/n is going through..... jacob crying when y/n breaks down in his arms after finding out the truth. jacob.... also being tormented by his ghost of a friend. vae ur gonna hurt a lot of people here 😭😭😭

oooh a necklace and a teddy bear omg that sounds so cute???! but yeah they're a pretty well rounded group so there's def something to like about each member, and the fact that you see that is such a positive outlook tbh 🥺 but GIRL 500 DIAMONDS THO?!?!!!? i saw that and immediately tapped out of it LMAOOO. it sounds cute but distracting at the same time like how do you stand having eric's voice telling you oH NO DID SOMEONE MISS A BEAT??? OH NO DID YOU JUST FAIL??? i guess it'd be so funny too LOOL but i have like 5 diamonds and maybe 100 rp i'm hella broke ok 😭😭 lmk if you ever manage to three star out of control HAHA