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kaiparker-avengerssmut · 4 years

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Their Doll 12

Home again

B.Barnes x Stark!Reader, S.Rogers x Stark!Reader

series synopsis: y/n Stark, all records of her non existent, and yet Hydra still find her. When she is kidnapped by a certain super-soldier and no one believes her, she finds herself searching for unexpected familiarity in her not-so-distant past.

Series Warnings: smut, violence, torture, swearing

Chapter Summary: y/n returns home

Warnings: steve almost cries, swearing maybe, kissing, mentions of violence and scars

A/n: The timeline in this has been altered, as there I things I wanted to include but I also wanted this fic to follow the storyline/timeline of Winter Soldier and Civil war.So for purposes of this fanfic, Peter Parker was discovered by Tony at a much younger age - when he was bitten - and has been an intern with him since, almost like a protégée.(For the purposes of this story Peter was bitten much younger too - more like when he was 9 or ten rather than 14/15)

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Steve was distraught. He sat completely still, head buried in his hands as his mind whirred. I string hand on his shoulder caused the man to look up, blue eyes meeting Tony's brown ones which were filled with sorrow and pity.

"I know you love her, but it's over Steve. They have her there's-" a crack in his voice made the billionaire pause, "there's nothing we can do this time."

"But I left her, Tony!" Steve shouted, standing up abruptly. "I could've saved her, and I didn't!" Steve's face was red, Tony's face taken aback. "She's your daughter and I didn't even save her..."

"Hey, stop." Tony snapped, pulling Steve's attention to him instantly. "I know she's my daughter but I also know that you love her enough that you wouldn't give up on her if you did t have too!" Tony wanted to shout, to scream at his friend.

"He's right, Steve. Well all know you love her." Nat smirked, arms crossed over her chest as she now leant in the doorway.

"How long have you been standing there?" Steve asked and Nat simply quirked a brow. Steve nodded and realised she'd most probably been there the entire time. "And how do you know...?"

"That your in love with y/n?" Nat clarified. Steve nodded. "It's obvious, Capsicle. You literally give her heart eyes whenever she's not looking and you always fidget when you're around her. But my favourite part," Nat pushed off the door frame, walking into the room, "is that you act like you hate her. I new you didn't have great experience with women, but I didn't know it was that bad." She remarked and Steve made to protest but was cut off.

"She's right, y'know. There's no way in hell a girl's gonna ask you out if you critique every last thing about her and give her the evil eyes every time she looks at you." Tony added, making Steve shut his mouth and stare at the ground again.

"B-but it's been weeks." Steve stuttered. "What's if she's... what if they killed her, Tony? I think that's on my. Her blood would be on my hands." He rambled, and Tony was about to reply when Bruce appeared at the door.

"You guys might want to come downstairs." He said quietly, and the three avengers already in the room looked at each other, confused. Steve quickly swiped the threatening tears from his eyes, him and Tony making their way down the stairs as fast as they could.

...

I burst through the doors, immediately met with the sight of Tony pointing to some papers the person next to him was holding and discussing something with them. My face broke out into the biggest smile, the sight of my dad after the hell I'd been through like a shelter from the rain.

I waved frantically, already breaking into a run towards him, his head snapping up at the wild movement and his face morphing into one of shock and relief, his arms held open.

"Lil?" His voice was full of concern as my arms wrapped around his neck when we collided, my legs wrapping around his waist and his hands finding their place on my back. "Oh my god, Lil, you scared us so much, scared me." He whispered into my hair, pulling back enough to cup my face in his hands. "It's you." I smiled.

I nodded my head furiously, burying my wet face into his shoulder, jumping down from the embrace.

"Lily?" The unsure voice from the edge of the room caught my attention, a grin spreading on his lips seeing me. I held back tears looking at him, my smile still wide. He walked towards me, enveloping me in a hug so tight it could crush a normal person. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." He kept saying, his hand tangled in my hair.

I shook my head, sorrow filling my eyes as in stared at the man that had engulfed me with his body. He pulled back, looking sternly into my eyes.

"I know you think I hate you. But, I wouldn't wish what happened to you on anyone, Lily. Not even my worst enemy." Steve whispered, his eyes clouded with pity.

"Well that's new." Tony remarked seeing us hug, confusion lacing his tone. "Hey, kid, what's with the mute?" He pondered as I gave no verbal reply, Steve now looking deeply concerned for me too.

I sighed through my nose, pulling back the collar of the jacket to reveal the long, vermillion scar across my neck.

"You should go see the others, they'll be happy to know you're back." Tony said with a pitiful smile.

...

A million warm embraces later, tears shared and hearty laughs exchanged, I was just about ready to fall asleep and never wake up. I was about to excuse myself when someone tapped my shoulder. I turned to see Steve, a stoic expression on his face.

"Can we talk?" He asked, nodding his head towards the door. I nodded, following him out into the hallway. I laid my shoulder against the wall, observing Steve's constant pacing.

So what's up?

I quickly jotted down, handing the small electronic device Tony had retrieved for me to Steve, raising a brow. He stopped, looking me in the eye. He swallowed thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am, I let him do that to you. It's my fault. I don't even know how to live with myself, I should've come looking for you, or-" I cut him off with a tap on the shoulder as I handed him the pad.

Cap, it's fine. I'm fine.

I stressed, writing in italics. The man read it with furrowed brows. cleared my throat before continuing.

I just don't know how long I can keep pretending to be happy, I just want to die.

I finally confessed, vision blurred and screen obscured with tears. A tear rolled down my cheek.

I don't know how to go on, every tome I close my eyes all I see him, what he did

My gaze averted from his as he read.

"Hey, hey. You're strong, you can do this. Let's go get you cleaned up." Steve suggested, looking at my through his lashes and placing a careful hand on my shoulder, which I flinched away from. I gulped.

Steve, there's a reason he let me go

I wrote down, finally meeting his gaze. His eyes were full of questions he didn't dare ask.

He let me go to send a message. He said that if we interfere with him again what happened to me will be child's play compared to what will happen.

His face dropped.

If a few days of torture is child's play, what does he have planned?

I asked, sobbing now.

"Lily, you were gone for three weeks." Steve added quietly, making me look up from where I'd been starting at the floor to meet his eyes. My eyes widened. Steve grimaced, nodding solemnly.

"Go have a shower, I'll grab you some fresh clothes and a towel. We'll talk more when you're feeling warmer and cleaner." He suggested again, and was met with a nod from me this time.

We reached my room, Steve holding the door opening for me and me giving a tiny smile that said 'thanks' as I walked in. I headed straight for the bathroom, taking my time in peeling the ripped tank top from my body and throwing the muddied shorts on the floor with them. Just then, the door opened, Steve walking in with a towel and some cloths folded on top. His eyes widened and he instantly apologised.

"Sorry, lily, I thought you'd be in the shower by now." But before he could walk out his eyes finally locked on me. His eyes raked over me, his eyes surveying my wrists, which were rubbed red-raw from chains and ropes; my neck, which was red and violently bruised; my bruised upper arms; my waist that was covered with finger-shaped bruises; my thighs, that were also bruised and finally my back that starred at him in the mirror. It was a mess of diagonal cuts, which were not longer bleeding but were still a blood red colour. I looked down at my feet nervously, feeling weird under his gaze.

"He did this to you?" Steve asked, tears in his eyes. I nodded, slowly looking back up at him. Before he could say anything else I cupped his face in my hands, smashing my lips to his in a kiss that conveyed everything I could never say out loud. After a moment, his hands reached for my face, returning the kiss. Our lips welded together, his tongue poking at my lower lip, begging for entrance that I granted. His tongue rolled over mine in languid stroked, soothing. I pulled back first, turning and pulling the shower curtain open. I climbed in, turning on the water and getting lost in the warmth and steam that swallowed me.

...

I walked out the bathroom, clad in one of Steve's T-shirt he grabbed for me, some shorts and fresh underwear. He must've noticed that I liked stealing Tony's shirts and given me one of his instead. Rubbing my hair dry with a towel, I dumped it on a near-by chair when my hair was only damp. Steve instantly stood from where he was sat on the edge of my bed when he saw me, looking at me with an unreadable expression.

I began writing, but before I could finish his lips were on mine and the little device was dropped to the floor. It was less desperate that the last time, more passionate and slow. It expressed everything we needed to say, and that was enough. My arms hooked around his neck, my fingers playing with the hairs at the base of his neck, whilst one of his tangled in my hair, the other resting on my cheek.

"You talk too much." He mumbled against my lips and we both let out a breath meant to be a laugh. "Too soon?" He asked before leaning in for another, our lips locking together. He pulled back and looked in my eyes, his hand running through my dampened hair.

He cleared his throat, stepping back from me, his gaze flitting from the door before landing back on me.

"I should go." He spoke, heading for the door. As he placed his hand on the door knob he froze at when I tapped on his broad back.

Don't.

The little device said. He had a hopeful look in his eyes.

Go. Don't go. Please.

I wrote , looking at him with pleading eyes. He nodded, walking back over to me.

I don't think I can be alone tonight.

I stated before climbing into my bed and patting the spot next to me. Steve hesitantly climes in beside me, laying behind me and draping his arm over my waist, pulling me into his firm chest. His body heat radiated over me and sleep soon took over as I sunk into him, his hand playing with my hair.

...

"Lil? Lily? Lily!" I shot up, panting hard and sweat covering my forehead. I slowly look to the side where Tony sat, a concerned look filling his eyes. My gaze looked at the door, where Steve stood, looking over me with what looked like fear, before going back to Tony. "Hey, kiddo, what happed?" He asked, stoking my hair. I swallowed thickly, breathing calmed down.

"You were restless, moving about in your sleep." Steve clarifies from the door, not wearing what he was before. He must've left after I fell asleep. I motioned for Tony to pass me the device which sat on the bedside table and he handed to to me.

I was back there. He was

I couldn't finish writing, the device falling from my shaking hand onto the duvet as I bit back tears, sinking into the embrace Tony held me in.

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d-targaryenshoe · 4 years

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Falling, Fallen • Jackson Avery

Notes: I'm a huge softie for Jackson Avery. Don't @ me. And I had this idea since forever 🥺

Summary: Y/N is Jackson Avery's wife and decides to ignore her husband's good advice.

Warnings: needles, medical terms

Word Count: 1891

Jackson Avery. Someone who gave you a lot of heartache back in the days. Watching him love a few woman.

Then seeing him gave one of your best friends a love speech and running away with her from her own wedding.

Those moments were the most hurting times, but when the both of them needed help it was you who would be there for them. Because you knew in the end they were still your friends.

Although your feelings never went away. You still secretly loved him, but your mouth was muted. You didn't want to ruin what they had.

But a single talk together with Alex Karev made words fly around in the O.R and into the ears of Jackson Avery. Which made your secret not so much of a secret anymore.

After 6 months You were living together. Then a year after the two of you got married but now a year and a half you were waiting for the worst pain ever. Called labor.

Pregnancy. Something you thought you were not going to experience anytime soon. But yet you were experiencing it. Anytime as you were sitting on the couch in April Kepner's couch.

"You're all round and almost popping, you should be in laying bed, not sitting in my couch Y/N." The ginger female sighed, placing a pillow behind your back. "Pregnancy is not a joke."

April was the most worried friend you had. Although you never expected her to be this okay with you and Jackson being together. Because you knew how much he meant to her.

"I'm going crazy in that penthouse just waiting for a single sound to make me feel alive." Caressing your belly, you leaned your head back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling.

"Says the 40 week far pregnant woman, who's most likely to have a baby today or tomorrow." April raised an eyebrow at you while she placed both of her hands on your belly. "It's moving down."

Giving her an deadpanned stare you tried to get up from the couch as you leaned on your hands. Walking over to the female her fridge.

"Did you just spill my bottle of water?" April asked, knowing you were clumsy at times, or all the time.

Hearing the footsteps come closer to you as you just stared down to your feet, a small pool of water on the floor and no way to get out.

"Oh my- okay, stay calm. You're gonna be fine okay? I'll take care of you. My car keys." The ginger haired woman rambled, grabbing the black keys off the hanger on the wall.

Running a hand through her ginger colored locks April held open the door as you walked through and fresh air met your skin.

Opening the door of the car and getting in, you noticed April's nervous state as she quickly got around and sat down next to you, twisting her keys in the contact.

"Just keep breathing and don't die, okay?" April squeaked, placing her hand on yours as she gave you a much saying face. "That was dark wasn't it?"

Releasing a slight breath through your nose, you nodded at your friend as she drove out of her parking spot, not exactly slowly. "A little too dark."

"Jackson is going to freak out when he knows I didn't ignore your attempts to get out." Spinning her steering wheel towards left, she bit the inside of her cheek.

"If I didn't come to you. I'd be in that penthouse going into labor all by myself, Apes." Placing your hand on the dashboard, you leaned over while holding the bottom of your belly. "Constraction."

Coming to a halt you saw the light of April's phonescreen as she tapped her stopwatch app and she passed her phone to you. "Tap it every time you get one."

Tapping the icon, you breathed out, watching the stop lights turn green as April started driving again, giving you a quick glance.

"We're almost there, I just need a damn parking spot, okay?" At this moment the only thing you were able to do was throwing all your trust in April's hands but also in yourself.

Leaning your head back, you closed your eyes in pain but also in hope that all of this would be over soon. But the sound of a car door slamming shut made you opened your eyes again.

"Come on, take my hand." April took a hold of your hand as she pushed the door closed behind you with her free hand. "Y/N Y/L/N you're not having this baby in this parking lot."

Releasing her hand, you ignored her rambling and walked up to the double doors of the hospital with a fast tempo.

"Hey, I wasn't done talking!" The female retorted, pushing the door open before you walked through, placing your hand on top of your belly, breathing out.

"In and out, good job." April answered as she breathed in and out together with you. "Just like that."

"Oh god! Is it this far? Am I becoming a grandma?" Your eyes moved up as Catherine Avery strolled over to you with a nervous smile covering her lips before her eyes fell on April. "Oh and April, I've got her."

April frowned at the older woman, fiddling with her car keys as she placed her hand on your back, trying to release the pain somehow." But I just-"

Knowing Catherine Avery wasn't one of the easiest person the two of you have known, things didn't make it any easier.

"I've. Got. Her. You're free to go." Catherine pointed out, placing her one arm around your waist and the other holding your hand, leading you towards somewhere else. "Thank you for taking care of her, though."

You just assumed April nodded at her, knowing somewhere deep inside herself she was grateful for everything April did for you. And so where you.

Pulling open the blue curtains, the only thing you did was opening the cabinets and grabbing a patient gown, walking into the bathroom to change yourself.

"Take your time okay, sweetie?" A soft knock was sounded on your door what made you sigh slightly, the woman had no patience at this moment. "There's no need to hurry, okay?"

Opening the door with a fast pull, you threw a single glare in the female Avery her way, being frustrated with pain and a watermelon sized child inside of you.

"April told me someone is having a-" Arizona Robbins her words were cut off as she noticed the long browned haired woman sitting on chair. "Baby."

"Yes and please as fast as i can, I'm dying." You snapped, placing your hands on the hospital bed, moving your hips around, trying to soothe the pain. "Give me an epidural and enough lidocaine."

You heard a slight snort in the room, knowing Catherine couldn't handle herself in bringing out her own opinion as she walked out of the room.

"We can do that, let me page Jackson first, yeah?" Arizona placed a hand on your shoulder, giving you one of her toothy smiles when grabbing her pager. "Let me check your dilation?"

Grunting, you slightly layed back on the bed, placing your feet apart from each other, placing your arm over your eyes, scared for the pain you'd feel.

"Just relax, I know it's not comfortable but I need to do this." Arizona comforted, hearing you take a deep breath in, feeling the pressure. "You're 5 centimeters dilated, so an epidural is an option, I'll need Jackson to keep your back arched, okay?"

Nodding your head in silence, you lay your feet back down, covering them with the white blanket.

"I told you to stay home, why are you so stubborn?" And this was the moment you didn't wait for. A preach by your husband, who would freak out. "You're unbelievable."

"Well I'm carrying a human watermelon inside of me, maybe you should just be quiet and let me do my job?" You snapped back, sitting up, noticing Arizona held back a smile.

"I need to place a epidural, could you move up your hospital gown?" Arizona smiled, gathering her supplies to release you from the pain.

Moving the hospital gown away from your back, you could feel the cold disinfectant being wiped on your back with a cotton ball.

"I will give you a local anesthetic, just a little sting." Looking at the man in front of you, you slightly shook your head as he bit the inside of his cheek.

"I need you to lay on your side now, Jackson I need you to hold her hands as I insert the epidural." Arizona lectured, giving him a small shove in his back, breaking his stubbornness.

Shuffling back on your bed, you turned to the left, taking a hold of Jackson's hands as you felt Arizona inserting a needle into the lower section of spine. "Oh, this is the last and only baby I'm ever having."

"And in two years time we'll be here again." Jackson muttered, releasing your hands, giving you a smile that said a lot. "You know I'm right."

"You wish." The sentence left your mouth and Arizona snorted at the words, removing the needle of the Epidural.

"Let me see how far we're standing." The paediatrician mumbled, motioning for you to place your feet away from each other. "And Avery one more cocky remark, I'll hit you."

Jackson opened his mouth but nothing came out, instead he sighed and crossed his arms at the blonde female.

"You're 9 centimetres, Jackson I need you to sit behind her, and Y/N, I need you to be badass, okay?" The blonde female explained, placing her gloved hand on your knee, with trust.

"I can do that." You nodded, leaning back in your husband's chest, sweat already covering your forehead, wanting to be done with this. "I'm freaking Y/N Avery, I can do this."

Arizona shrugged and smiled slightly sitting down on the chair at your feet. "See? Just like that, If you have enough power, I need you to push."

Leaning back on Jackson's shoulder, you placed your hands on your knees, as a pain struck your abdomen, leaning forward you placed all your power on your core.

"Push push, you're doing great." Arizona spoke up, giving you a single spark of hope. "If you have the power, you can push again."

Not giving a single answer, you placed your chin on your chest and pushed once again.

"Head is out, one more firm push, and you're almost done." The blonde surgeon spoke up, giving you courage, knowing it was almost over.

Getting al your power together and sweatdrops covering your forehead, you placed pressure on your body for the last time as a loud cry was sounded across the room and made you lean your head back on Jackson's shoulder.

Seeing Arizona stand up with a bundle wrapped in a white towel, you held out your hands toward your friend. "It's a baby boy."

"Well aren’t you the cutest little thing?” Jackson whispered, caressing his son's cheek.

"I carried that for 9 months, you better call me cute AND badass." You retorted, gazing up at your husband. "Because I am."

"Yes you are, and I'm proud." He answered, kissing you sweaty forehead. "You are."

#greys anatomy imagine #greys anatomy imagines #greys anatomy x reader #greys #jackson avery imagine #jackson avery imagines #jackson avery x reader #request open

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jjmaybanksblog · 4 years

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Lost Sweater- Kiara Carrera

Kiara x female reader

Summary: Alternative Universe where when one person loses something, their soulmate receives it.

Word count: 2,028

Warnings: None

B/N: Brother/ boy name

Y/N: Your name

Y/A: Your age

Soulmate. A simple word that brings many thoughts to the brain. Someone who you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with, happily. Someone who will treat you in ways you could only dream of. Many people believe in them, others don't. You grew up a non-believer never understanding why God would make something so amazing, such a difficult task for people. Your friends all around you had begun receiving their lost items, all of them meeting their soulmates, meanwhile you remained confused and alone.

You were a non-believer until one day your missing sweater wound up on your bed with a note attached to it.

"You must have misplaced this, I was confused when I was sleeping and the cotton fell on my face, fun fact I almost suffocated. Anyways, hi. This must belong to my soulmate, damn that's crazy. In my entire life I never believed in this shit, my parents telling me about how they met because my dad found and returned a necklace that meant a lot to my mom. I always thought it was bullshit until recently. Here's your sweater back, I 'lost it' throwing it out my window. I hope to hear from you soon.

Your soulmate"

You read the letter over and over as the thoughts finally sunk in. Maybe you wouldn't be alone after all. Gently biting your bottom lip, you suddenly felt a rush of adrenaline run through your body. You ran out of the room and into your brother's room.

He was sitting down at his desk when you barged in. He turned around towards you, only to be nearly tackled in a hug. "Who are you and what have you done with my sister. You barely hug me." B/N asked as he saw the letter in your hand. "Ohhh shit. You got your soulmate." He mumbled, putting the pieces together.

"I'm not gonna end up alone!" You smiled. Your brother knew of your fear. You had talked to him before, explaining your thought process about this all. You were afraid you would die alone, not knowing what it would be like to love and be loved. You knew it was irrational, but growing up you never pictured someone falling in love with you. You took it to heart so you just shut every romantic aspect out of your life.

Your brother congratulated you before you ran back into your room, writing on a lined piece of paper.

"Dear soulmate,

Wow. Just writing those two words felt foreign. Sorry about my sweater almost killing you, I'm just a clumsy person that loses things a lot, but I'm glad you're okay. I also was a non-believer. I always saw the people around me finding their soulmates and being happy, meanwhile I was in the corner watching all my friends find the one. For the longest time I was convinced that maybe I just wasn't meant to have one, but knowing you're out there makes me feel... safe. Attached to this note is a picture of me, I figured maybe if you're curious enough you would want to know what I look like. My name is Y/N I'm Y/A years old and I can't wait to find out who my soulmate is. Xx

Y/N

You took an image of yourself and stapled it to the back of the letter. Opening your window that led to her backyard, you grabbed a scrunchie and wrapped it around the note. You carelessly threw the note and picture out of the window and watched it effortlessly fly away in the night sky. You fell onto your bed, staring happily at your bedroom ceiling.

Slowly drifting off to sleep, your eyes snapped open when you heard a soft popping sound echoed by your desk. Rubbing your eyes, you stood up and walked over. Another letter was displayed on the wood, you smiled softly as you sat down. Your eyes scanned the letter as you read it out loud.

Y/N,

Wow. Just wow. I can't even think of words to form right now. You're absolutely breathtaking. I'm not gonna lie I wasn't expecting a girl, but God, do I feel blessed knowing that you're my soulmate. Your letter and picture were actually soaking wet. But it smelled like salt water, so I'm guessing you live possibly on a coast. I live in the Outer Banks in North Carolina. When I got your letters it just smelled like home. I wanna go traveling, to you, out of the country, just explore new things. I totally understand how you felt about feeling like you're not gonna find a soulmate. I've watched more than half of my high school senior class find their soulmates during the year. Meanwhile I was acting like everything was completely fine and I wasn't distraught. I should be asleep right now, but I'm dying to talk to you. Get to know you. Later on if you'd like, I would love to call you. To hear your voice and your laugh. I think you should get some rest as well. I have no clue what time it is where you are but I want my love to be well rested. Goodnight Xx

Kiara Carrera

You flipped the paper around to see a beautiful mixed girl with carmel colored skin. Her hair was curly and beautiful, flowing from wind. Your eyes were drawn to her smile, you could tell she was laughing and you wished to be able to hear her laugh.

For days on end you and Kiara had been 'losing things' with letters attached to them. Tonight was the night where Kiara was going to call you. Both of you were on the edge of their seats, your hearts beating rapidly. Kiara's hands shook as she dialed your number, pausing between each number.

After what felt like forever, the phone began to ring. You audibly gasped at the sound of a bell ringing. You hesitantly picked up your cell phone that was placed on the bedside dresser. "H-hello?" You spoke into the phone. Kiara broke out in a grin, "Y/F/N, Y/L/N." Your name rolled off her tongue, goosebumps rising on your arms and back of your neck.

"Kiara Carrera" you spoke back, Kiara internally squeaking at the soft, velvety voice that spoke her name. "My god your voice.. okay I totally don't mean to sound weird but it's just so calming and relaxing. God okay wow hi, I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be on the phone with my soulmate." Kiara spoke as she nervously chewed her bottom lip.

"Honestly, me too. Growing up I always... ugh I don't mean to sound like I was sympathy or attention, I always grew up insecure and pictured myself as someone who could never be loved. And everyday I always saw or heard about people finding their soulmates in different ways. It went on for years and everyday I lost hope, but now I'm here talking to you and I feel nauseous, but in a good nervous way. Does that make sense?" You asked, rapidly shaking your leg.

"No I totally get it, I feel really hot right now mostly because I don't know what to say to you. Like my whole life I've planned on things to say but now that I'm talking to you I have no clue what to say or how to say it."

Kiara threw herself on her bed, her smile never leaving her face as she closed her eyes, listening to your soothing voice. "So, tell me about Kiara, what it's like to live in the Outer Banks?"

4 months later

After months of planning, you had managed to save up enough money for a plane ticket to OBX. You were currently walking off the plane and into the terminal, your heart beating a mile a minute. You stood to the side as you were about to text Kiara, asking where she was.

That was until you locked eyes with the girl you'd recognize from the pictures. Kiara's heart felt like it was about to leap out of her chest as your eyes met. You held your suitcase tightly as you made a run towards your girl.

You released your items mid run as you opened your arms out. With one swift motion Kiara picked you up in her arms, holding you close to her. Your legs wrapped around her waist as you held each other tightly. "You're real." Kiara mumbled into your neck as she held back tears.

You pulled away from the hug, your legs still around her torso. Her fingers brushed their way through your hair, subconsciously leaning into her touch. Kiara pecked your cheek as she placed you down onto your feet. Your hands intertwined as you guys walked to her car, your thumb rubbing over her knuckles.

They spent the car ride debating on which Beyonce song was truly the best. Kiara blasted the music as loud as she could take as she sped down roads to her house.

She drove past the beach, your eyes not leaving the beautiful view in front of you. Your head was turned to the window as colors of the sand and the ocean blurred by. "You want to go?" Kie asked you as she saw you admiring the waves.

You were left speechless, only able to nod your head.

As soon as they got to Kiara's house, her family was waiting at the door to be introduced. You felt an overwhelming amount of support from her family, none of them giving you attitude or being rude. No one was being homophobic, they were so welcoming towards you which made this day even better.

"Let's go get changed. Bathrooms down the hall and to the left." You dragged your suitcase behind you as you entered the bathroom. You quickly changed into a teal bikini, both pieces of fabric covering you properly, throwing on an oversized shirt for comfort. Kiara grabbed 2 towels and waited for you at this point her face ache from smiling but she couldn't stop.

You walked back out, giving your girl a thumbs up. Joining Kie in the car, she set off to the beach which was only 5 minutes away. It was currently 7:42 p.m. and the sun was beginning to set. The sky was painted in a mixture of purples and pinks, splashes of orange thrown into it as well. You laid down the two towels and sat down on one of them, patting the space next to you.

Kie sat down, instinctively wrapping her arm around you. You rested your head on her shoulder, sitting there in a comfortable silence. You were still in awe at the sight, the waves rising and then quickly falling onto the sand. This was everything compared to the beaches in New Jersey. The birds that flew above, diving down at any food they could find. The sounds of the waves crashing relaxed you to another level.

"I can't believe you get to see this everyday." You whispered. "You could get to see it everyday too. Well, one day. Well only if you want of course." Kiara nervously stumbled on her words, not knowing how to recover from that. "I'd love that." You simply said, looking at her. The sunlight reflected perfectly off her skin, giving her a sort of Golden look.

"Kiara?" You questioned, your eyes falling to her lips. "Hmm?" "Can I kiss you?" Kiara was taken back at your question, but immediately answered by moving in toward her. She leaned forward, her lips brushing against yours. You made the final move and pushed slightly so you two were finally kissing. Both of you melted into each other's touch as you smiled into the kiss. You two shared a passionate kiss for a few seconds before pulling away, your noses gently touching. You pressed a kiss to her nose as she shyly bit her bottom lip.

You rested your head back on her shoulder, staring back into the sunset. "I'm really glad I lost that sweater." You admitted.

"I am too."

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Seventy-Three

Thank you guys for your patience, if I haven't been replying its because I haven't been getting on tumblr for a hot minute but I am back now!!

This is part 1 of 2 of Seventy-Three, part 2 will be up in tomorrow night.

I love y'all, thank you so much!!

Words: 4.8k

Warning(s): explicit language, mentions of drug abuse, violence, inappropriate sexual behavior

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“I am going to kill you!” I shout, chasing Stevie and Slash over the hotel beds with Duff eventually tackling me when they lock themselves into the bathroom.

“You’re the one who ate the brownies, Viv! It’s common sense not to do that!” Steven tells me from the other side of the door.

“Your ass is grass and I’m going to mow it!” I yell back.

“No one’s mowing ass!” Duff tells me. “We’re just gonna wait for it to pass." He says in reference to my inevitable high.

“I’m gonna puke.” I insist, pushing him off of me.

“D-Do you feel sick?” He asks me, worried, and I open the door of the bathroom, Steven and Slash peeking their heads out of the shower from behind the curtain.

“No, I’m gonna make myself throw up so I don’t trip balls.” I explain.

“Ew.” Slash mumbles.

“Viv, no, it won’t be that bad.” Steven assures me as I kneel over the toilet, and Duff pulls me up.

“It’s not like it’s gonna kill you, Viv, alright, just stay in the room and let it run its course. Don’t do that to yourself.” He tells me, motioning to the toilet and I raise my brows.

“Just go lay down and relax.” Slash adds.

“Fine.” I state, stepping out of the bathroom.

"So, you've got this handled." Stevie starts to Duff.

"Yeah?"

"We're going back down to the bar." Steven declares, pulling Slash to the door with him.

"Dude, what? They were your brownies." Duff tells him.

"That she ate without asking." Steven points out.

"I was hungry!"

"Then you go to McDonalds! You don't eat brownies you find in our room!" Steven replies.

"Alright, okay, you two go. I got this." Duff sighs.

"Thank you. Bye." He replies and they leave us, Duff shutting the door behind them as I lay down, getting under the covers and turning the TV on, Looney Tunes playing as Duff steps to the bed.

"You can go back downstairs, I'm sure I'll be fine. I don't even feel anything." I mumble and he looks at me, pointedly.

"No, I'm staying." He states, taking his jacket and boots off, getting in to bed with me, sitting up against the headboard as I lay my head in his lap.

A few minutes later, I'm getting out from under the covers because it's rubbing against my skin too hard.

"You okay?" Duff asks me when I go to pull my shirt over my head.

"My freaking skin hurts." I reply and he raises his brows.

"It's the brownies."

"It's not the brownies." I reply, suddenly freezing when I make eye contact with Daffy Duck, catching him staring at me through the TV, and feel feathers against my fingers.

"What're you doing?" Duff asks me and I realize I'm rubbing my finger tips together on both hands, and when I look at him, another realization comes to mind.

"If you combine 'Daffy' and 'Duck' you get 'Duffy'." I tell him and he raises a brow.

"Y-Yeah?"

"Or 'Dack'. I feel like this is a perfect time for you to tell me my favorite joke." I tell him and he raises his brows. "'Paint my house'." I mock his voice, giggles consuming me once I'm done and he laughs with me.

"Viv--"

"--I'm kinda hungry."

"You ate five brownies, babe." He reminds me.

"Pot brownies don't count as food." I state, reaching for the phone. "I'm getting room service."

"No, no," he stops me, chuckling, grabbing the phone from me. "You do not want to get food while you're high and hungry. You'll order stuff you've never even heard of and we'll be murdered for running up the bill."

"We can just get Doc to pay for it." I shrug, going for the phone in his hand.

"Which is why it's not a good idea." He explains.

"If he gets his panties in a wad over room service he can just eat a brownie and he'll feel fine." I snatch the phone from him and dart for the bathroom.

"Vivian, baby!" He calls, opening the bathroom door before I can close it but it's too late, I'm dialing the number for room service, swatting Duff's hand away, though the movement seems as if it's delayed--at least my vision is delayed, or my mind, I don't know.

"Hello?" The man on the other line picks up and I furrow my brows, the fear that he knows I'm high infiltrating my mind. "Hello?" He repeats and I hang up and drop the phone.

"What if he tells my parents?" I ask myself, trying to stay calm as anxiety rises.

"W-What?" Duff asks me, confused.

"Dad will kill me. Mom--oh, God, mom will never let me live it down." I push past him to pace in the room and he furrows his brows.

"Viv--"

"--How do I even begin to explain to my parents I'm on drugs. Does pot even count as a drug? It's natural--so is fucking arsenic but do you see anybody putting that shit in brownies?" I ask myself. "I'm going to hell." I conclude, tears coming to my eyes. "I'm going to hell." I repeat, my voice cracking.

"Viv, you ate them on accident, you're not going to hell for accidentally getting high."

"I want Nikki." I say next, my heart beat beginning to hammer.

"If he finds out you're like this, we could get in trouble, Viv." Duff tells me.

"I want Nikki." I repeat, my breathing getting more frantic.

I stare at Fred, Doc, and Rich Fischer...and Bob Timmons, rolling my jaw as they look at me pointedly, waiting for me to say something in response. Anything.

“Are you gonna say anything?” Doc finally asks me and I lick my lips.

“What the hell am I supposed to say, Doc?” I ask him, furrowing my brows a little. “I-I’ve tried to talk to him about it a million times the past three years and he refuses to acknowledge he has an issue.” I state.

“Because he feels like he’s got nothing to lose.” Doc informs me. “I know you two aren’t on good terms, anyway, but, Vivian, we can’t have one of our guys nearly falling out on stage on smack. That’s not good press.”

“Since when the hell do we care about good or bad press?” I laugh humorlessly.

“Since I don’t want Nikki to fucking die on this tour.” Doc snaps.

“Can’t make money off tickets if the bassist dies and there’s no band to tour, anymore, right?” I ask him, poking my lip out sarcastically for a moment and he glares at me.

“I’m not in it for money.” Fred cuts in, seriously, a genuine look of worry on his face. “He’s like a brother to me. I’m not fucking in it for the money. I just don’t wanna see him dead.”

“We’re already getting a divorce so what the hell is it gonna do to threaten divorce if he doesn’t stop shooting up?” I ask them, raising my brows.

“I promise, it’ll get his attention.” Fred assures me.

“Do you know something that I don’t?” I cut my eyes at him. “Because all I’ve heard is how ready he is to get away from me and be free.”

“Just talk to him.” Fred ignores my question, which confirms that whatever shit Nikki feeds me about wanting to leave me as soon as possible is all bark with no bite behind it.

“What’s in it for me?” I ask them.

“The gratification of knowing you’re doing what Jesus would do.” Doc sarcastically replies.

“Jesus would exorcise him.” I bite back.

“I promise we haven’t ruled that option out yet.” He sighs out.

That was the first of many “what’re we going to do about Nikki?” meetings on that tour. Nikki had gone on high as hell--thinking no one noticed--and nearly passed out after flipping down the stage and taking way too long to get back up, and when he did get up, he nearly fell off the stage and could barely keep his eyes open. They had to remedy his stupor with a few bumps of coke during Tommy’s drum solo.

He got up in arms if anyone tried to confront him about it, brushing it off like he was just really tired that night, so they called me up to bat.

I guess they forgot I couldn’t talk to him about anything without it turning into a fight--especially not about his heroin addiction.

"So, even though we're separated and he's your client, you're leaving it up to me to convince him to get sober?" I clarify.

"He's not doing himself any favors, Vivian, you know that. This isn't just affecting your marriage." Doc tells me.

"Um, yeah, I've been trying to tell you that for years now but the second it turns into him risking the loss of money going in to your pockets you're all about getting him some fucking help." I snap, standing up. "Thank you for confirming you're the piece of shit I was afraid you were."

"Vivian, wai--"

"--Go fuck yourself, Doc. You're lucky I don't fucking fire you."

I leave the meeting with Fred at my heels.

"Viv, wait." He grasps at my wrist and turns me to face him, making me flare my nostrils with frustration.

"I'm not talking to him, Fred."

"Vivian, he's more likely to listen to you than any of us."

"Are you kidding me?! He'll laugh in my face!" I give up and raise my voice, hoping it'll get my point across since they seem to not understand english when it's spoken calmly and quietly.

"Viv, just try it. Just once. Please." He begs.

"Fine."

I already felt like it was my job to fix him, and having that responsibility of being the only one capable of getting Nikki to slow down only added to that burden that I knew right away I'd be unable to bear but tried to do so anyway.

"Yes, I'm sorry, I was locked out of mine and my husband's room. I accidentally left the key in there before I left and he doesn't have his with him, either." I tell the receptionist at the front desk of the hotel.

"Do you have any ID?" She asks me and I pull out my license, smiling.

"Here you go." I show her. "Vivian and Nikki Sixx, but the room name is probably under Doc McGhee." I add and she flips through bookings for a moment before she nods.

"Got it." She tells me, opening a drawer and pulling a spare out.

"Thank you." I tell her politely, taking the key and heading to the elevator.

"Enjoy your night." She replies.

"Thanks, you too." I grin to myself mischievously, ready to piss on Nikki's parade.

I get up to his room and unlock the door, smelling sweaty clothes, vomit, possibly urine, definite shit, semen, smoke, heroin, and coke.

"Ew." I mumble, seeing that he is nowhere to be found.

I immediately start shuffling through his things, every pant pocket, every compartment in his suitcase, under the bed, in the drawers, under the mattress, in the pillow cases, in the bathroom, the closet, under the dresser, under the TV stand, the night stand, behind the bed, behind wall paintings, everywhere, and find absolutely nothing.

"You've got to be kidding me." I say to myself, looking at the disheveled room. "If I were Nikki Sixx where would I hide my stash?" I say next…an idea popping into my mind. "The last thing I'd think anyone would suspect I would even touch." I answer myself, going back to the nightstand drawer, opening it back up to see a bible.

I open it and find the jackpot.

I don't know where he found the time to hollow it out and put a baggie of china white and a small bindle of coke inside but I don't have time to think about it.

"Really should have taken the expensive stuff with you, baby." I state, taking the china white out and pouring the powder into the toilet before throwing the baggie away, doing the same with the coke.

I go to fix everything the way I found it but I'm stopped by the sound of the door knob being unlocked.

I dodge into the closet, shutting the door as best as I can, hearing the room door swing open, and the sound of Nikki stumbling in, laughing while another woman giggles, making my heart hammer in my chest.

"What's wrong?" I hear her giggling come to an abrupt stop.

"I don't feel good, take a rain check." He brushes her off, and I hear him walk around the room, probably noticing it looks like a tornado hit it, worse than how he left it.

"I thought we were gonna have some fun, though." I hear the pout in her voice.

"I'm sure Vinnie would take you up on that. He's across the hall." He sounds even more disinterested by the second, aggravation in his tone, but I don't believe it's because her.

"Fucking rockstars." She complains, stomping out and slamming the door.

"I can smell your perfume from here, Viv." He says, and I hear him kick some stuff out of his way before the sound of him sitting on the bed.

I roll my eyes and step out of the closet, smiling at him innocently.

"What the fuck are you doing in here? How'd you even fucking get it?"

"I got a key." I inform him.

"What are you doing here?" He asks again and I go to speak but can't, not knowing what lie to come up with.

I hesitate for too long, giving him too much time to think about it.

"Oh, you didn't." He sneers, before quickly walking to the nightstand, opening the drawer and grabbing the bible before he opens it to see it's empty. "God damnit, Vivian!"

By this time I'm already almost at the door, within arms reach, but he's rushing to me and grabbing my hair, pulling me back, causing me to cry out before he's shoving me to the bed.

"Where did you put it?!" He demands and I take deep breaths, staring at him.

"I flushed it." I admit honestly and his face turns red, his fist balling up at his sides.

"You did what?" He shakily asks again and I sit up.

"I. Flushed. It." I repeat.

"Do you realize how much money that shit costs?!" He outbursts and I move to get off the bed, but he grabs my arm roughly so I can't get away.

"Let go of me." I warn him, trying to get out of his grasp.

"Answer me!" He barks at me.

I don't say another thing, my foot jutting out to kick him off of me, hard.

"Trust me, I know how much money that shit costs because you've been prioritizing it over our other finances for the past five years!" I argue back.

"You fucking bitch!" He screams as I go for the door again.

"You strung out junkie!" I yell back.

The lamp shatters against the door when he throws it, the only light in the room is now coming from the bathroom and I turn to face him, anger growing in me at the fact he threw a lamp at me over something so stupid.

I'm taking my heel off and throwing it at him next before turning back around to leave, but when the blade of his switchblade lands a foot away from me, in the carpet, I get fed up.

I lunge at him, the two of us hitting the hotel floor with a heavy thud, my nails clawing at his bare chest before he shoves me off of him and grabs my wrists, the two of us in a stare off, catching our breath.

"I'm only here because I'm worried about you, asshole!" I outburst at him."Your health is going to shit and--"

"--Oh, for fucks sake, Viv, when I die everything's going to you so don't act like you're not foaming at the mouth for me to finally croak." He snaps at me, pulling himself onto the bed, laying on his back.

"If I were eagerly awaiting your death I wouldn't be flushing anything to keep you away from it."

"As if I won't call up a dealer the second you get the fuck out. Speaking of which: get the fuck out." He motions to the door and I stand over him.

"I'm not done talking."

"I am."

"Good, then you won't argue when I say that you need to slow down because Doc's getting uneasy due to that stunt you pulled last night."

"I was tired."

"You were high."

"They don't know that."

"They sure do know that, they just haven't confronted you themselves because they don't need you going at them like a rabid dog."

"Bullshit."

"There was a meeting. They even brought in Bob Timmons, Nikki." I reply and he closes his eyes and lets out a sharp breath before he sits up. "They were hoping maybe us talking about it might encourage you to put your health as a priority." I add, leaving out "get sober or get divorced," deciding that's the last thing he needs to hear, and he nods. "I know it probably won't do much, but, Nikki, we're really worried--I'm really worried."

"We've had this conversation how many fucking times, Vivian?" He scoffs out, looking up at me.

"I'm not an idiot, Nikki, you're not okay. You don't look good, you don't smell good, you didn't sound good--"

"--Are you done?" His voice gravels out, unamused, and in denial.

"Nikki."

"I don't look good because I'm tired, I don't smell good because I haven't showered yet, and you don't know shit about music so who the fuck are you to tell me if I sounded good or not?"

"You realize I'm not that naive little pipsqueak that just wanted to keep the peace and went along with whatever you said years ago, right?"

"At least you knew how to keep your fucking mouth shut unless I wanted it open for reasons that had nothing to do with talking." He grumbles.

I glare at him a moment longer and exhale.

"Tell your dealer I said 'hello'." I yield, grabbing my other shoe, leaving in defeat, holding back the tears leaking to my eyes.

"The fuck's going on?" Izzy asks us as Steven, Slash and Duff look like deer caught in headlights, interrupted as they try to coax me back into the room.

"I'm too high." I state, panicking, and Izzy furrows his brows.

"You're what?" He asks me, looking at the guys. "She's what?"

"Too high." I repeat.

"Who is?" Axl asks, approaching us with a beer in hand, obviously not prepared for what he's about to find out.

"I am." I say at the same time, Steven says, "nobody."

Everybody's at a stand still for a moment, all of us staring at each other before Axl starts in.

"She's what?!" He demands while Slash and Steven scramble to explain.

"Well, she, like...ate something and now--"

"--Don't tell me she ate those fucking brownies you two have been smuggling." He tells them and Slash slowly puts his sunglasses on to avoid direct eye contact as Stevie stutters out:

"Uh-Um, w-well...she had like five and it was a complete accident."

"Five?!" He shouts next and I slowly back away as they become further occupied, darting down the hall and turning the corner, hearing Duff say, "wait, Viv!", making my feet go faster.

The next morning is spent on the phone with Sharise while she goes over last minute wedding details for the date set for the one day the band has off next week.

"She told me she wants bright pink bridesmaids dresses." I tell Vince, raising a brow.

"Yeah, I helped her pick them out." He smugly replies, knowing I was dreading the idea of looking like a cupcake.

"I hate you."

"I love you." He sarcastically states, leaning back in his chair at the breakfast table in the hotel's cafeteria.

"Where the hell is everybody else, we're outta here in 20 minutes." Fred tells us and I raise my brows.

"Being that Tansy and Sparkie and Nikki were all up doing God knows what last night, I'm assuming they aren't even aware what year it is, currently." I reply to him, drinking a sip of orange juice.

"And what about Guns?" He asks next.

"Heck if I know." I tell him and he groans, rubbing his forehead. "Okay, fine, I'll go get everybody rounded up. K?" I offer, standing.

"Thank you." He says to me as I walk to the elevator.

Once I get to our floor, I start at Tommy's room, banging on the door until I hear, "What?!" from the other side.

"Get up, we leave in 20 minutes!" I say back, going to Tansy and Sparkie's room, knocking at the door.

It opens within seconds, Sparkie, completely naked, standing at the door with his brows raised.

I gag at the sight of him wearing nothing.

"We're leaving in 20 minutes." I tell him neutrally.

"I'll wake Tans up." He replies, smirking at me and I go to turn away but he's grabbing my arm. "You thought about what I said?" He asks me and I roll my jaw.

"Mmm, still thinking on it." I don't even hide my sarcasm and he licks his lips.

"Think a little harder, baby, because I almost let it out when we were hanging out last night." He informs me and my blood runs cold. "The longer you wait the easier it's gonna start wanting to just slip out without a second thought." He adds, shutting the door in my face and I let out a defeated breath, squeezing my eyes closed for a second and rubbing my forehead.

When I turn to walk down to Steven's room, he and Slash are coming out, leaning on each other, both of them wearing sunglasses to shield their hangovers, dragging their luggage along behind them.

"Is Axl, Izzy and Duff up?" I ask them as I pass by.

"I don't even think Axl slept. Izzy's trying to shoo away some girl and Duff's trying to finish packing." Steven replies flatly, obviously tired, and I go to Duff's room, knocking a few times before he opens the door.

He opens it and his eyes light up.

"There you are." He says, stepping back to his suitcase that's on the bed as he starts tossing his belongings in.

"Yeah, I got up earlier for breakfast." I reply, grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste out of the bathroom.

"I figured." He states, running a hand through his hair before rubbing his eye. "Um, Izzy and Axl just left, I think, and I'll be down in a second, so." He informs me and I nod.

"Okay, I'm gonna go grab my stuff from my room."

"K." He replies as I leave, going across the hall to unlock my door and gather my stuff.

The door, that I left crack, is soon opening again and I think it's Fred or Doc or one of the guys, but when I look up from my suitcase to see Sparkie, I feel sick.

"You do realize sexual coercion is rape, right?" I blatantly ask, wanting him to know good and well what he's doing.

"Not if it's consensual." He shrugs and I roll my jaw and zip up my bag.

"It's not consensual if you're having to blackmail me into doing it." I bite back, shoving past me to get out of the room, and I run smack dab into Fred, and pray he didn't hear our exchange.

He opens his mouth to speak, quickly halting when Sparkie comes out behind me, smirking.

"Morning." He says to Fred. "Vivian." He more so sneers, heading to the elevator.

"The fuck is that about?" Fred asks, referring to Sparkie being in the room with me.

"Um, he was helping me pack." I lie, knowing if I tell him the truth he'll be arrested for murder.

"Right." He looks at me with unsure eyes before brushing it off. "We're loading up."

Fred was a damn good actor.

The only thing keeping him from beating the shit out of Sparkie, was knowing when he told Nikki later on that night, Nikki would do a worse number on the bastard than he would.

"Wow, I can actually run a brush through it." I comment to Duff, combing out his hair before he picks up a can of hair spray to tease it a little.

"Extra conditioner. Who'da thought." He adds, grinning at me like a little kid.

"Viv, can you do this?" Stevie asks next, a slight whine to his voice.

"What is it?" I ask, stepping to him in the dressing room.

When I see what he means, I look at him, unamused.

"Steven Adler. You know how to lace your pants up."

"No, these are hard to do because the string is almost too big for the little holes they go through." He pleads his case, raising his brows. "You have tinier fingers, plus you're not fighting off an everlasting hangover and coke jitters."

I look down at his pants, seeing very well he's not wearing underwear, and take a deep breath.

"I'll keep my hands to myself, alright? I promise." He assures me, tucking his hands behind his back.

"It's not your hands I'm worried about." I mumble, rolling my eyes.

I end up having to crouch to get eye level with the laces, and when the door opens up to reveal Axl, and I'm on my knees with my hands on the strings keeping Steven's penis separated from my face, it looks assbackwards--well, blowjobbackwards.

"Can you stop blowing my band?!" Axl's meltdown tone on full effect and I look at him, wide eyed.

"I'm not blowing anybody!" I snap.

"Except Duff." Slash mumbles with a little chuckle and Izzy finds humor in it as well.

"Axl, dude, she's just helping me with my pants." Stevie defends me, raising his brows. "Besides if she was blowing me that'd be our fucking business."

"What did you just say to me?" Axl hones in on Steven, his eyes sharply narrowing, his jaw tightening.

"I said, if she was sucking my fucking cock it would be mine and her's business--ya know, since we're both fucking grown-ass adults and you can't tell us what the fuck to do?"

"You're in my fucking band, Steven, so yeah, actually, I believe I can tell you--"

"--Guys, don't fight." I say, standing up and crossing my arms.

"--You can't tell me shit!" Steven outbursts. "Just like you can't tell Duff shit! He's a big boy and Viv's a big girl--what goes on between them doesn't concern any of us, especially not you." Steven pushes me out ot the way so he can stand nearly chest with chest with Axl.

"Axl, Stevie, c'mon, now." Duff says, gently pulling me behind him as he steps to the guys, slowly urging them apart.

"It does concern me because it's affecting Guns N' Roses." Axl hisses.

"You act like she's fucking everything up, Axl! Just because he was late for one fucking rehearsal--"

"--A studio session, soundcheck, and, one fucking rehearsal." The red head snaps and I look at Duff, confused.

I didn't know he missed a studio session and soundcheck for me at one point...the look on Duff's face says that Axl was supposed to keep quiet about the studio session mishap and soundcheck.

He looks pissed.

"And I said it wouldn't happen again." Duff cuts in.

"Why can't you just back off?" I ask next without another thought.

"Because you spreading your legs is fucking up my band, Yoko!" Axl doesn't hesitate, and Steven's shoving at his shoulders, sending him shuffling back, catching himself on the closed door.

Just as Axl goes to get back at Steven, Duff intervenes, holding at Axl while I get in front of Steven and face him, keeping him from taking advantage of Axl being held still.

There's a loud knock at the door and Doc peeks his head in.

"You're on." He tells the guys, shutting the door back.

Axl shoves Duff off of him and storms out while Steven ties his pants since I fixed the laces, and huffs out a breath.

"Izzy, either straighten your fucking buddy out or I will. I've about had his shit." Stevie threatens.

Axl and Steven butted heads more than anybody in the band did at that time. Steven couldn't stand Axl's uptight arrogance, and Axl couldn't understand Steven's nonchalance.

I think that's why it was so easy for Axl to give up on Steven when his drug abuse got so bad--he was tired of trying to understand Steven when he was decently sober, trying to understand him putting drugs before the band would have exhausted him to the point of no return.

They just couldn't ever get in tune with one another.

#nikki sixx #mötley crüe #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction #gateway drug

53 notes · View notes

thestarsaroundyourscars · 5 years

Note

25 and 26 for reddie!! Only if you want to💗

Hollyyy!!💗 This is such an old prompt, I’m sorry! Have some ‘fuck- canon’ fluff (again).

“Come cuddle.”

“I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

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Eddie woke up in the middle of the night to an empty bed.

While half asleep, he’d thrown his arm over the right side of the mattress, expecting to find a warm, lanky body that he could cuddle up against but instead, he got an armful of nothing. Eddie frowned and with his eyes still closed, trying to hold on to sleep for as long as he could, he felt around the bed for Richie but he wasn’t there. The man was all long legs and arms and the Town House bed wasn’t exactly big⎯ if he was there, Eddie’s hand would’ve found him already.

His first thought was that It was back. It was back and he’d taken Richie, taking advantage of the fact that they let their guard down after thinking they had killed him, for real this time. The thought made Eddie’s breathing speed up but he forced himself to take three deep breaths and calm down before he could drive himself into a panic attack.

“Rich?” He muttered, blinking his eyes open. The room was dark but the moonlight filtered in through the window, which was weird because Eddie remembered closing the curtains before crawling under the covers. With Richie. Which begged the question⎯

Where did the asshole go?

The answer to that question came soon enough when Eddie rolled over and saw that, not only were the curtains drawn back, but the window was also open and Richie was sitting on the window sill, smoking?

“What the fuck are you doing Richie? It’s the middle of the night.” Eddie said, pushing himself up into a sitting position. Richie jumped, almost dropping his cigarette in surprise. “And are you seriously smoking? These places have smoke detectors you know that, right?”

“Not this shithole Eds. Come on. They don’t even have hot water.” Richie scoffed, blowing out smoke. “Did I wake you?”

“No.” Eddie said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Well yeah. I woke up when I realized you weren’t in bed.”

“Aww Eds you missed me?” Richie teased but his voice was slightly off. “One night and you already can’t sleep without me?”

Eddie rolled his eyes, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at Richie, missing pathetically. “Shut up. Why are you awake?”

Richie tensed up then, looking out the window and taking a long drag of his cigarette before talking through his teeth, “Couldn’t sleep.”

“Bullshit.” Eddie said. “You were asleep. I know, because your snoring kept me up for like an hour.”

Richie scoffed, bringing the cigarette to his mouth. “Now that’s some fucking bullshit. Eds, I don’t snore.”

“Yes, you do. You have since we were kids.” Eddie said in his no bullshit tone. “But that’s not the point.“ He said, recognizing Richie’s attempt to change the subject. "Why are you smoking in the middle of the night?”

Richie didn’t meet Eddie’s eyes, staring out the window instead.

"Rich?” He asked, voice softer and more gentle. “Talk to me.”

Richie heaved out a sigh. He put out the cigarette and leaned back against the window, facing Eddie. “I had a nightmare.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Pennywise?” Richie made a noncommittal sound that Eddie took as a yes. “Pennywise is dead, Rich. We killed him. For real this time.”

“I know he is. The nightmare wasn’t about him, not really.“

Eddie pressed his lips into a tight line, hit by realization. He didn’t need to ask to know what Richie’s nightmare had really been about.

(After escaping Neibolt, the losers had all gone to the quarry to clean up, even if Eddie insisted it was useless because, “You can’t clean yourself in dirty water.” He joined them anyway and everyone had been celebrating, laughing and splashing around, when Eddie noticed Richie was sitting on a rock by himself with a troubled look. Eddie had swam over to him, throwing water at his face and said, “Didn’t you hear Rich? We killed the fucking clown.”

When Richie had looked up, his eyes were shining with unshed tears and Eddie’s laughter had died in his throat.

"I saw you die Eds.” Richie had said, ducking his head to stare at his hands. They were clean, but he looked at them as if they were stained with something and Eddie reached over and held them. “When I was in the deadlights. I saw Pennywise kill you right in front of me.”

Eddie had shaken his head, giving his hands a squeeze. “That wasn’t real. I’m right here.”

“I thought I lost you.” He insisted, eyebrows pulled together. “I thought you died and that I never got the chance to⎯ to tell you, to⎯”

“To what?"

Richie had surged forward then, catching Eddie’s lips in a kiss. Over the sound of his own heart threatening to beat out of his chest, Eddie heard their friends whistling and catcalling. He let go of Richie’s hands to flip them off, before weaving his fingers in Richie’s hair and pulling him closer so he could kiss him back.

Later, they had ditched the losers to go to Richie’s room together⎯ amidst more whistling and catcalling. And after Richie took a shower and Eddie took three, they had stumbled into bed together for the first time. Both of them forgetting what Richie saw in the deadlights, until now.)

"It’s not real.” Eddie said, echoing his own words from the day before. “That was just Pennywise fucking with you, Richie.”

“I know that Eds, but everytime I close my eyes, I see it. I see Pennywise stabbing you, I see you bleeding all over me. I see you dying and I see myself leaving you in that fucking place.” He said, running a hand down his face.

Eddie’s face twisted with concern, feeling sad for Richie. He wanted to offer comfort, to reassure him, but words didn’t seem to be doing it. He untangled himself from the mess of blankets and dragged himself out of bed. The cold air hit Eddie’s bare legs and he shivered⎯ boxers and Richie’s shirt had been enough to keep him warm when the window was closed and he had Richie wrapped around him like a koala, but now they made him wish he didn’t the bed.

He quickly covered the distance between the bed and the window, wrapping his arms around Richie’s waist. Unlike Eddie, Richie was warm, even if he was wearing only a pair of boxers and had been standing next to the open window for a while. Eddie burrowed his face in his chest, still not quite believing he was allowed to do that now.

“Are you trying to distract me?” Richie clicked his tongue, sounding more like himself. Eddie counted that as a win. “Because it’s working.” He felt Richie’s arms wrap around him.

Eddie let out a snort. “I’m trying to convince you that I’m here and that I’m alive and that I'm⎯”

“Ready for round two?"

Eddie pinched his side, eliciting an embarrassing squeal from Richie. "I’m serious Rich.” He looked up, locking eyes with him. “I’m here and if you need me to keep reminding you that, I fucking will because I’m not going anywhere, you’re stuck with me now."

"That was aggressively romantic.” Richie said, smiling down at him, it was slightly shaky but happy.

Eddie returned the smile before leaning up and pressing a kiss against Richie’s lips, feeling his stomach flutter the moment their lips touched. Richie made a pleased sound before licking into Eddie’s mouth, warmth spreading through him when Richie’s tongue started moving against his.

They had been kissing for a while when a yawn escaped Eddie and he froze, Richie’s face breaking into a teasing grin.

"Don’t say anything, shut up.” Eddie said, feeling his face go hot. “This is your fault.”

Richie scoffed. “Am I really that boring, Eds?"

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Of course not. I’m just tired since you woke me up.”

“Right sorry.” Richie said, running his thumb softly over Eddie’s cheek. “You should go back to sleep. I’ll be there in a few minutes."

"What? You’re gonna go rub one off in the bathroom?” Eddie joked, making Richie laugh.

“You caught me, Eds.” He flashed him a lewd grin. “That kiss got me all hot and bothered."

Eddie snorted, grabbing Richie’s hand. "Come on.” He started dragging him towards the bed, but Richie planted himself on the floor. Eddie cocked his head at him, giving him a questioning look.

“I don’t think I can go back to sleep just yet.” Richie said, avoiding Eddie’s eyes.

Everytime I close my eyes, I see it.

Oh, right.

“Are you worried about having another nightmare?” Eddie asked, taking Richie’s grimace as an answer. “I won’t let that happen.”

“What? You’re gonna fight the nightmares away with your tiny fists?”

“No.” Eddie said, rolling his eyes. “I’m gonna hold you so hard that you won’t be able to forget I’m alive.” He said, watching Richie’s expression melt at his words. “Now close the window and come cuddle with me. It’s the middle of the fucking night and I’m tired.”

“Okay.” Richie said, pressing a kiss to Eddie’s forehead and letting go of him just to shut the window. “As long as I get to be the little spoon.”

“Duh."

They climbed into bed together, Eddie’s chest pressed flush against Richie’s back. Eddie wrapped his arms around him and Richie sighed happily when he pressed a kiss to the top of his spine.

Eddie forced himself to stay awake until he was certain that Richie was asleep⎯ his loud snoring making it perfectly clear. Only then, did he allow himself to close his eyes, dozing off immediately.

Neither of them woke up again, not until the sunlight filled the room the next morning.

Tag list: @daddyphantomtbh @yes-dillman-yes @richietoaster @beepbeeprichiellc @its-stranger-than-you-think @lemonaayyee @losers-gotta-stick-together @tinyarmedtrex @richiefuckfacetozier @sam-i-am2468 @richardtoz @s-s-georgie @reddie-for-anything @eddiefuckinkaspbrak @constantreaderfool @stanleuyris @jesuschristsupruvestar @mirandonsky @proton-disaster-blaster @alargedepresso @purplepoisonedgem @pan-ini @reddie-to-cry @reddieforlove @trashmouthnick @multi-fandom-wby @wheezyeds @nancynwheeler @reddieslashgeneralhorror @madi-personal @reddie-tozibrak @lover-mouth @atownofeggs @that-weird-girls-blog @appojoos @castielwinovak @a-gay-treee @twoidiotsinl0ve @typewrxter @fcngirltrxsh @spirited-marvel (if you want to be added, let me know!)

#reddie #post it chapter two #eddie comforting richie #eddie lives #of course #fluff #monse writes #constantreaderfool

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faythelyse · 4 years

Text

Joji x Reader {female reader} Apocalyptic Setting <Part One>

The sound of your closest friends baby jolts you awake. You had fallen asleep sitting up in a chair near the window. You stand and stretch for a moment before walking into the kitchen. Jessica meets you at the doorway to the kitchen.

"We're officially out of food." She bounces her daughter on her knee.

"Alright, I'll grab Ashlee and we can hit that up this place we noticed coming back from our last haul. It looked like a department store or something. I have an extra cheese stick in my bag if Jade is hungry."

Jessica knods and sighs. You knew saving that cheese stick was a good call. After grabbing the snack for Jade you head to the garage where Ashlee was working on the truck we scored a few months ago. Ashlee notices you enter and slams her hand on the top. "We still need some gas for this bad boy!"

"No time like the present to go look for some?!" You add expecting a negative response.

Ashlees face turned sour. "We're out of food."

"Yep. You going."

"Well of course, but we just went on a trip 3 days ago. Those rations were supposed to last a week. Jess eats like a fucking pig." Ashlee starts throwing her gloves off onto the desk and prepares a bag for the emergency food trip we are underprepared for in all honesty.

"How much ammo do we have left?"

Ashlee sighs heavily "We were low last trip. We might have 5 or 6 shells left for the shotgun."

"And the handgun?" You interject.

"Fifteen." Ashlee finishes packing up leaving the shotgun for me to take. "I'm gonna take a smoke break. Meet me out front when your ready to roll." She puts the cigarette in her mouth and walks out.

Grabbing the gun you quickly head for your room to gather the essentials. Outside Ashlee was taking the last drag off her cigarette before flicking it to the road. I stare at the bikes in front of us wishing we had gas for the truck. "Jesus christ I hate these bikes, I'm wore out by the time we get to wherever we're going." Ashlee smiles. "Soon Y/N" Ashlee closes her eyes and daydreams for a moment. Imagining life with a car again.

About halfway there we stop and scout a bit. Make sure no one is out and about before we pull closer into this town.

Right on the edge of town we leave our bikes locked to a tree behind a small abandoned house. It was a soft pink color. It somewhat stood out making it easier to remember where we left our things. We chat quietly while making our way to a large department store.

The store was huge. The sign had fallen partially. A corner of the building was also caving in. Jessica, never going out on many supply trips didn't always realize the danger she put Ashlee and I in on a somewhat regular basis. Although we have become better at it over time.

As we arrived at the doors we became silent. Searching for any possible noises or animals that could get us in worse trouble than we were already putting ourselves in. Instead of going in through the front we found a side door that appeared quieter to open. Upon entering we were stunned to see lots of stuff still on the shelves. Why had this store not been hit so badly by looters. Shocked by the nostalgia and childlike joy we let our gaurd down. We casually walked down aisles and shared past memories that seemed insignificant then. We would give anything to be able to visit a store normally again. Buy a new dress to wear for date night or some shit.

"Holy shit, they have mother fucking WINE!!!"

Ashlee was almost in tears, and I couldn't contain my smile. We packed as many as we could. We still needed room for actual food.

Just then we both heard a single gunshot so we dropped immediately to the floor as quickly as possible. Readying our guns we slowly get up and sneak closer to the back of the store where the gun had fired. There is a hallway that leads back to the bathrooms and what I assume might be the head office or the workers lounge area. We see a shadow at first emerging from the hallway. We aim thinking it could be one of the infected, but it was just a man. He pulled out a walkie telling someone on the other end he's fine. Ashlee and I are frozen for a minute. We hadn't seen people in a long time. Hell it's even been awhile since we've seen an infected. They have been sparce lately. Probably just spreading out more. Although we weren't a very populated area anyway. Ashlee whispers "What do we do, ignore them?" I shrug not knowing myself. It would be risky to assume they are friendly. And if they were to rob us we would be left with nothing. Another man runs up, he has a large backpack on. Ashlee and I locked eyes for a moment. We had the same idea to potentially rob this man. I shake my head. "Maybe they will trade?" I whisper.

Ashlee shakes her head in disbelief that they would consider trading. We had not glanced back at the men for a minute, when we turned back to check on them they were gone. I turn back and shrug, if they were gone then we had no further issue. Ashlee and I nod knowing we should get a move on and wrap this up before we get spotted. While crouching we slowly walk around the nearest aisle where we are met face to face with the two men we had just spotted. Both shocked we all immediately stand, but none of us draw a weapon. After a solid 30 seconds of no speaking just staring I speak up

" We really just need to grab some food, we won't be any trouble." It was then that I noticed one of them was injured.

"You're hurt?" I said softly. Ashlee also softened her expression when she noticed the wound. Ashlee broke her silence as well, "Y/N is a healer of sorts, maybe we can help."

Ashlee and I are both suckers for wanting to help. The man with big sad brown eyes looked at me with some hope.

"Can you really hel-ehp" he stopped abruptly and grabbed the wound on his side that started to soak through his thick green coat. I couldn't tell the severity of it, I didn't want him to die though, so in the moment I just decided to say yes. His friend went alongside him to help support him. "My name is Ben" He proceeded to shake Ashlees hand and then my own. "This is George, nice to meet you. We were here looking for medical supplies, if you could help us out we would pay you back some how. Whatever you need, I promise. We'll work it off."

"I'm not a real doctor or anything man. I just started learning this stuff since the world went to shit. I've practiced on dogs, and cats, a few humans. Nothing too crazy. I've become pretty decent at sew up jobs. I just promise to do my best to help. If something goes wrong I just cant have you blaming me."

Ben smiled "Listen, its not like im going to find some heart surgeon out here. Anything you can do to help is better than whatever I could come up with."

Ashlee walks up to the other side of George and throws his arm over her neck. "I'll help walk him to the bikes."

I nod and quickly grab everything i can that is edible, even found a few seed packets. Elena will be stoked to add these to her garden.

We biked back to our little community that cosisted of 2 houses that have been conjoined by fencing in the two. Its somewhat protected by being hidden in the many trees that surround our community.

Jessica was sitting smoking outside. As she saw us pull up with two strangers she looked worried. I held up my hand to show her everything was okay and waved. We brought George in and laid him in a spare room we had set up for me to work on anyone who had been hurt. There was no bed, only a futon mattress had been laid on the floor.

"Set him down gently." Ben whispered.

Ashlee had a worried expression, I could tell she was worried about the blood loss. He appeared paler than before. I sat down and started preparing my equipment as fast as possible and urged Ashlee to grab some other things I needed.

As I neared being finished with sterilizing the needle I told everyone to leave the room. I can never concentrate while people watch. I had assumed George was knocked out when I reached down to start removing his jacket he grabbed my wrist.

"This is going to fucking hurt isn't it." He breathed. I nodded. I had nothing to numb him. Then I remembered the extra wine Ashlee and I had discovered. We had grabbed six bottles. I pulled out a bottle and handed it to George. He glanced it over.

"For the pain?"

"For the pain." I said as took it back from him to open it. After opening I asked if he would like a cup.

"Bottles fine, lets get this over with." He started to shrug off his jacket exposing the large gash on his side. Hopefully he hadn't punctured an organ or something I couldn't fix.

He took 3 large drinks and motioned for me to come to him. I started cleaning the wound to the best of my ability with what we had. It was time to start sewing. Sewing still makes me nervous.

I was ready to pierce skin when he interrupted.

"Do you have anything to bite on?"

I took the belt that was around my waist wrapped it up and handed it to him. He bit down and nodded to show he was ready.

I started and his eyes rolled back into his head, I kept going. I wanted this to be over as fast as possible. He started making a few small shrieks here and there but he was toughing it out rather well I thought.

As I was getting to the last few stitches his hand found my leg and grabbed it tightly. I felt horrible for causing him so much pain.

I started to just mumble I'm sorry over and over again until I had finally finished. His head fell back onto the pillow in exhaustion and agony. I leaned up and pressed my hand to his forehead and face and apologized some more. Trying to gauge how well he was actually doing. I stopped myself and realized I needed to finish by covering it with a bandage. I grabbed clean cloth from the cabinet and bandaged him. I look at him for a moment. I should grab his friend and let him know I've finished. He probably wants to wait with him until he wakes up. As I struggle to stand back up George's hand grabs mine and squeezes. I squeeze back giving him reasurrence, and leave to confront everyone.

Ben steps up to me immediately as i exit the room.

"What's the damage, is he cool? Are we good?"

I could tell he was nervous about the answer.

"I'm not sure yet honestly, he's all stiched up. He's also still alive and lucid which is a good sign. It's going to take a long time to heal. Maybe a month or two. It also needs to stay clean and free of infection. I recommend staying here until he's fully healed. Ben seemed pleased with my answers "Can I go see him now?" I nodded and he rushed in.

Ashlee pulled me to the side. "You reccomend they stay for two months?"

"Yes, that was my recommendation. He was hurt prerty bad, he shouldn't be moving at all for atleast 3 weeks. I think we should just chill. As long as he heals well, we could use their help."

Ashlee crosses her arms. "This is risky, but Im with you. It's nice to have new faces around."

"I agree" I smile, feeling slightly better that I may have saved someone's life.

#jojixreader #x reader #fanfiction #joji #f #female reader

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jugandbettsdetectiveagency · 7 years

Note

Okay I loved the OTP questions and I know you are going to deliver them perfectly Anna, so I couldn't stop myself from requesting five of them: 11, 15, 16, 17, 19. (I literally wanted to request all of them but I'm sure you'll get a ton of messages so eventually all are going to be answered with your wonderful ideas and I can't wait to read them!!) Sorry for requesting so maaany!!🙈

Anything for you, Vera dearest! A bit of sin, a bit of angst, and some babies - everything you love! Hope you like them. Sorry mobile readers, I had to put this under a cut, it gets a bit long!

11. Who loves the smell of their partner’s perfume?

“Jug- ahh, we’re… we’re going to be late,” Betty breathes tilting her head to give Jughead more access to the graceful slope of her neck. He chuckles against her skin, running the tip of his nose against her smooth skin, inhaling her scent deeply. She’s utterly intoxicating.

“It’s your fault for putting this perfume on,” he murmurs into her neck, voice low and gravelly with his arousal. “How am I supposed to resist when you just smell so good?” he hums, peppering light, teasing kisses across her collarbone.

Betty’s legs weaken, and she’s thankful that he has a strong, steadying arm locked around her waist else she’d be a puddle at his feet in a matter of minutes. She can feel heat pooling between her thighs and she tilts her hips to get his leg to press between them. Jughead grins at the action, nipping lightly at the sensitive skin of her pulse point before latching his lips there and sucking.

Betty lets out a sinfully loud whimper, pressing closer to him as he works to form a blossoming bruise against her flawless complexion.

“People are gonna see…” she complains halfheartedly as he sucks harder.

“Good,” he growls possessively, fingers tightening at her hips, eyes darkening to that deep shade of azure that is certain to soak her panties every time. “If you smell this good, I wonder what you taste like…” he muses with a heart-stopping smirk plastered over his features, sinking to his knees, eyes on hers all the while.

“Oh my-” Betty doesn’t manage to complete her sentence, voice failing her as his head disappears beneath her dress.

15 answered here!

16. Who is more excited to be a parent?

“Jug?” Betty calls as she closes their front door, slipping her shoes from her tired feet and breathing a sigh of relief. The house is unusually quiet, the rhythmic tapping of Jughead’s keyboard usually filling the air every time Betty returns home from the paper. “Juggie, are you home?” she asks again, listening for his reply.

There’s a distinct bump from the floor above, Betty tilting her head upwards with a knitted brow. She heads for the stairs, one hand coming to support her lower back as she begins the climb. Her centre of gravity is entirely off these days, the heavy weight around her middle completely throwing her for a loop.

“Your child is gigantic,” she’d lamented as they came out of the doctor’s office, hands laced tightly together. “Even the technician had a shocked look on her face when she saw him in there,” she finished, casting a sly smirk at Jughead from the corner of her eye. Jughead grinned back, free hand coming up to rub the swell of Betty’s stomach affectionately. His blue eyes were shining.

“She,” he began, emphasising the word. They were still in disagreement about what they thought the gender was going to be, Jughead adamant they were having a girl while Betty had an inkling it was a boy. “Is just a good eater, all Jones’ are,” he quipped cheekily, earning himself a laugh and a shake of her head from Betty.

Betty pauses at the top of the stairs, catching her breath momentarily before continuing down the hall in search of her husband. “Jughead, are you up here?”

“In here!” his muffled response comes from behind the nursery door. Betty waddles towards it, gasping in disbelief as she pushes it open.

The previously bare room had been completely transformed. The once white walls were now a soft yellow, a sticker mural of flying birds pressed against the one to the left. A soft, plush rug had been thrown in the centre of the floor, a white painted rocking chair pushed in one corner by the farthest window, crocheted blanket draped over the back. The rest of the furniture was white, too - changing table, chest of drawers, and toy crate scattered about the room. Jughead was currently bent over a sky blue crib, pushing it beneath the mural. Inside was a selection of toys, including a pale pink bunny like the one Betty had told him she’d had as a child.

Hormonal tears spring to her eyes as a wide grin spreads across her face. Jughead looks up at her shyly, eagerly awaiting her reaction.

“Juggie,” she breaths, eyes running over every detail again and again. “It’s perfect.” His own smile widens as he walks over to her, placing a hand either side of her bump and pressing a delicate kiss to the tip of her nose.

“I just wanted everything to be ready,” he admits, cheeks taking on a dusty glow. “I can’t wait.”

17. What are their end goals for one another?

“You’re throwing everything away, Betty!” Jughead yells, trying not to raise his voice too much but she’s just being so frustrating. She shakes her head, teeth digging into her lower lip as she closes her eyes against her words.

“I’m not, I know I’m not,” she repeats over and over again and Jughead has to resist the urge to take her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her. He takes a steadying breath.

“These are Ivy League schools. You can’t turn them down to come to Boston just because it’s where I’m going,” he tells her, gesturing to the open acceptance letters on the table. Betty’s cheeks heat up as she crosses her arms over her chest.

“I’m not just following you, Jughead. Boston has a really good journalism programme and I can get good financial aid-” she begins, reeling off her rehearsed argument before he cuts her off.

“Don’t do that, Betts. Don’t give me your spiel about costs and courses. I know why you’re doing it and I won’t let you. I won’t be the reason for you not living up to your potential,” he fires back at her. Her eyes harden, darkening in their shade of green as she locks her gaze onto his with surprising, intangible force, the intensity snapping Jughead’s mouth shut.

“And what if this is what I want? What if I can’t stomach the idea of being parted from you for the next four years of our lives?” The idea sinks in, settling heavily in Jughead’s stomach. “What if I’m so sure that you are it for me that that is the only important factor in making my decision? Have you thought about that? Because I have. And I know that if I’m going to regret anything it would be taking myself away from you.” Betty closes the distance between them, gripping his cheeks between her soft palms in an action that’s always been so comforting for Jughead.

“I want us to go to college together. I want to get an apartment, and throw stupid dinner parties for your artsy friends and my colleagues from the paper. I want to hold you close in our bed every night and know you’ll be there when I wake up. I want to learn, and live, and grow with you by my side every single day. I want us to graduate, and get jobs, and live our lives.” She swallows, blinking back the tears in her eyes. “You’re going to be so great, Jughead. And I want to watch as you flourish. And we’ll get a house, and a dog, and go to street cook outs, and join a damn country club!” He lets out a watery laugh, fingers clutching desperately at her waist. “And we’ll have kids and grow old together. And that is all I ask for. A forever, with you. Starting right here. Okay?” she asks, eyes searching his desperately. Jughead presses his lips to hers in a gentle kiss, one full of promise.

“Okay.”

19. How do they decide on who does what chores?

“You play dirty, Betty Cooper,” Jughead accuses, narrowing his eyes at her across the room. Betty flushes, drawing her lower lip between her teeth and biting down on the plush flesh in the most distracting way.

“I thought dirty was how you liked it, Juggie,” she replies, widening her big green eyes in false innocence. Her words sent fire through his veins, leaving him trying desperately to hold in a groan.

When Betty had suggested clearing out the garage so they could turn it into an at home office, Jughead had protested vehemently. It had become an utter mess over the years, the place where a clutter of keepsakes went to die, and the last thing Jughead had wanted to do was tackle clearing it out.

“I’ll make you a deal,” she’d said, her eyes taking on a dangerous glint that instantly has him wary.

“I’m listening.” Betty had leant on the kitchen counter, pushing her arms together in a way that gave Jughead a very appealing view down her shirt. His eyes flicked down briefly, tongue coming out to wet his chapped lips, before returning to meet her gaze.

“If you can go the whole day without touching me, I won’t make you help me clean the garage,” she said with a confident smirk. Jughead bounced his head back in surprise at her proposal, regarding her steady eyes. A day, surely he could do this.

“You’re on,” he agreed with an easy smile, reaching out to shake her hand. She took it, dropping it quickly to signal the game had started. Her smirk never wavered and suddenly Jughead felt as if he’d just fallen into a trap.

Her sweater is the first to go.

“Hot in here, don’t you think?” she asks casually, throwing the fabric to the side with a flick of her wrist. Jughead shifts in his spot in the arm chair adjacent to her.

“Really? I was just thinking it was unusually chilly for this time of year,” he replies through slightly gritted teeth. She just hums, going back to her book. He looks up as she stands, raising his eyebrows in question.

“Bathroom,” she calls over her shoulder in explanation. He nods, turning back to his laptop. When she comes back her jeans have disappeared.

“Betts…” he says slowly, eyes raking up the long expanse of smooth, tanned skin now exposed to him. He always did love her legs.

“The faucet splashed me. They were soaked,” she informs him, colouring the word sinfully. His eyes glance involuntarily at her blush coloured panties, throat going dry. She walks about, dusting shelves and rearranging knickknacks absently. Returning from the kitchen, Jughead looks up to see that her shirt has joined the ranks of nonexistent, firm breasts nestled in pink lace presented in front of him like the best wrapped gift. She catches him staring.

“I was putting a whites wash on,” she shrugs casually. Her eyes slide past his frozen body, resting on something behind him. “Oh, did you drop this?” she asks lightly, walking past him, skin almost brushing skin, before bending down to pick up the pen that is resting on the ground.

Jughead clenches his jaw at the sight before him; Betty’s perfectly round ass greeting him like forbidden fruit. His eyes drink her in thirstily, watching the way the lace of her underwear bunches as it travels between her thighs, the fabric slightly damp…

Betty gasps as strong, warm fingers grip her hips, her own hands coming up to steady herself on the counter as she feels his bulge press purposefully against her centre. They both let out a moan in unison.

“I surrender.”

#bughead #bughead fanfiction #replies

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queercapwriting · 8 years

Note

(I know youre not accepting prompts anymore and im really sorry but can i throw this one onto the pile? It's okay if i can't, i'm sorry, I don't mean to disrespect you. I was just thinking that maybe Alex could have PTSD? Or maybe she'd self-harm? I mean, i think she risks her life a lot more when she feels like she isn't enough. It would just be great to read that her friends still wouldn't leave her. But it's okay to ignore this, i'm really sorry. And thank you so much for being so selfless.)

Hi hun! No worries: this is exactly the kind of prompt I’m open for and wanting to get to before I sift through the rest of the pile. I do have a fic here – http://archiveofourown.org/works/9122290/chapters/21554621 – where Alex has PTSD, but it’s not as detailed as you seem to want, so I wrote you another one!! :)

It’s not backfiring cars or gunshots resonating into the night that activate her, though sometimes she wishes it were.

Because for Alex, loud bangs and heavy impacts are still her daily life. If they trigger her, she must simply just be walking wounded at every moment. And sometimes, when she’s deep into the latest bottle of bourbon, she knows that that’s exactly what she is; perpetually traumatized.

But, more often than that, the alcohol drowns the acknowledgments that would make it real, that would give it words, that would make it something she has to deal with. And she doesn’t want to, because if she does, then she is not perfect. Then she is not made of steel.

Then she has to admit to being forged in the hottest of fires and emerging not just sharp as death, but also burned beyond recognition.

But lately, she is something else. Someone else. Because lately, she’s been more likely to have one beer than six shots. Because lately, she’s been looking forward to bedtime, not dreading it as a waste, a dull necessity, an absolute terror.

Because lately, there’s been Maggie Sawyer.

And she loves it, and she hates it, because now there’s someone next to her – someone who knows, someone who notices, someone who cares – when she wakes up screaming for Kara to come back from Krypton, yelling for Astra not to kill J’onn, please, because Alex doesn’t want to make this choice, doesn’t want to kill her, please, pleading for Non to just kill her, please, it can be as slow as he wants, just please, don’t force her to hurt her sister, please, please, please.

Maggie holds her, and Maggie rocks her, and Maggie soothes her, and Maggie’s body is pliant and willing when Alex’s eyes darken, when Alex pins her down and fucks her, hard, because when Maggie is writhing underneath her, it’s in pleasure, not pain; when Maggie is begging her please, please, please, it’s in desperate rapture, not desperate terror; when Maggie scratches her nails down her back and screams her name, it’s in love, not in fear, in lust, not in horror, in ecstasy, not in hatred.

Maggie knows, and Maggie lets her use her body like a bandage because Alex – even as she is rough, even as she is hard, even as she is callous, even as she is ruthless – is always, always, also somehow gentle, somehow giving, somehow attention, somehow caring. Maggie knows, and Maggie loves her, and Maggie is willing, and Maggie wants her.

Just as she is.

But when it goes beyond nightmares – when it’s conversations with her mother that end with her phone shattering against a distant wall, when it’s a sense of failure that seizes her chest like an iron fist because when Alex Danvers fails, people could die, people have died, Kara could die, Kara almost died – when it leaves Alex frozen and broken and nearly catatonic on the bathroom floor, razor in hand because there needs to be something, something, something she can control – when it goes beyond screaming from nightmares and turns into silent, private bleeding, Maggie knows, and Maggie breathes deep to steady her hands, and she picks the lock on the bathroom door, and she doesn’t yell, and she doesn’t ask, and she doesn’t accuse.

She just takes the razor away and she takes Alex’s hands into hers and she examines and she cleans and wraps and she kisses, gently, gently, gently, saying nothing, demanding nothing, because Alex right now can give nothing beyond her compliance, beyond her tears, beyond her exhaustion, beyond her limp-limbed acceptance of Maggie’s help, and right now, that is all Maggie needs from her.

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing Alex rasps when she can open her mouth again, when she trusts herself to open her mouth again, when she thinks she can manage it without throwing up all over Maggie’s bloodstained grey henley.

“Ally, you have nothing to apologize for,” Maggie whispers, and it’s gentle but it’s firm and so is the kiss she places to Alex’s knuckles.

“Oh no? I couldn’t even figure out what was wrong with M’gann, I couldn’t save any of your friends at the bar, I couldn’t stop Lilian Luthor from releasing that weapon, and if Lena hadn’t… and I can’t find my father and I can’t do anything right and I react like such a grown woman, right, locking myself in my bathroom and…” She splutters and brandishes her arm at Maggie uselessly and she shudders and she wishes Maggie hadn’t interrupted her when she did, because all she can see is the light leaving Kara’s eyes over Astra’s body, all she can see is Astra’s body replaced with Kara’s on the edge of her Kryptonite sword, all she can hear is her mother’s voice calling her exceptional some days and a disappointment most, and all she can smell is the dull mix of chemicals in her lab that she’s useless, useless, useless to help anyone from, and her body curls in on itself, and she collapses into Maggie’s chest, and she knows she can’t ride this wave out, knows she won’t survive it, but Maggie is whispering that she’s brave, that she’s strong, that she’s perfect, that she’s alright, that she’s gonna be just fine, that she’s loved, that she’s loved, that she’s loved.

She doesn’t remember falling asleep, but when she opens her eyes, soft light is pouring through the windows, and Kara is playing a quiet card game with James while Winn helps Maggie make something that smells suspiciously like her favorite kind of pancakes.

“Morning, beautiful,” Maggie calls softly from the kitchen when she glances at Alex’s open eyes on the couch, and Alex panics because her arm, her arm, her arm, but Maggie must have changed her into a long sleeved shirt, because Maggie knows it’s Alex’s to tell, but she also knows that family, family, family.

“What’re you all doing here?” Alex sits up groggily, and Kara goes to hold her, and James smiles softly while Winn flips pancakes and touches squeezes Maggie’s hand.

“We don’t have to stay,” Kara says, “It’s whatever you want. But Maggie said you had a rough night, and we just wanted to remind you that we love you. No matter what.”

“And to thank you,” James pitches in. “You keep saving all of our asses out there, and I think it’s become so normal we’ve kind of forgotten to thank you. So… thank you.”

Alex smiles wetly and stares past them both to Maggie’s suddenly still form in the kitchen.

“I love you,” Maggie tells her, simply, and Winn and Kara both awww while James smiles and looks down.

“Yeah?” Alex asks, and in the one word are a thousand questions, about why and about how and about still and about after last night how could you and about but I don’t deserve your love.

Maggie smiles broader and wipes her hands on Winn’s shirt as she crosses the living room to kneel in front of Alex.

“Always, Alex Danvers. Always.”

#tw: self harm #tw: cutting #sanvers #sanvers minific #sanvers fan fic #alex danvers

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Seventy

Word count: 4.1K

Warning(s): explicit language, mentions of drug abuse, explicit sexual content

@fancywasmyname1 @teller258316 @ggorehorror @blowinmeupwithherlove @xrosegoldwolfx @mylifeisjustafeverdream @redlipscrystalskies14 @str4nge-haze

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

I excitedly jump up and down, seeing the mass of hair stepping into the hotel lobby.

Stevie’s the first one in and I’m nearly tackling him, hugging him tightly because of how much I’ve missed him.

He’s tightly hanging on to me, letting out a happy sigh before pulling away to look at me.

“You look good, babe. Tired, but good.” He assures me, pinching at the tip of my nose and I smile, kissing his cheek for a second before I’m hugging at Slash as he smiles and says, “hey, Viv.”

I look at Izzy when I pull away from Slash, and he looks me up and down once.

“Viv.” He says to me in greeting.

“Izzy.” I reply.

I’m even excited to see Axl, and he tenses up a little when I hug him, but relaxes and asks, “are you dying or something?” in reference to me hugging him.

“I love you, and I’ve missed you, and I’m being driven insane and being that you’re already batshit, I know you can sympathize.” I tell him.

“Ha. Ha.” He sarcastically lets out but doesn’t go to pull away until I’m good and ready. “Oh, by the way, I’m telling folks in L.A. we’re siblings.”

“Why?” I raise a brow, pulling away.

“So you can also be known as ‘Axl Rose’s sister’ when I get rich and famous.” He grins. “‘Nikki Sixx’s wife’ is losing it’s oomf, ya know?”

“Especially once the D-I-V-O-R-C-E is filed.” I add.

“Exactly. So, I’m making sure you’ll still have a name to drop to help you get stuff for free.”

“Gee, thanks.” I nod, my eyes shifting to Duff.

He’s got the smallest hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

“Hey.” I say to him.

“Hi.” He replies.

“Alright.” Doc’s starting, stepping from the elevator to greet the guys. “Doc McGhee, pleasure to meet you guys, we have a show tonight so you’ve got,” He looks at his watch. “Two hours to get settled in, rest, bend a chick over, whatever. The bus is leaving here at 7:00pm, and no later than that. Got it?” He asks and they all nod. “Okay, here are the itineraries--the guys usually don’t pay these any mind, they just go when we tell them to, but in case you needed it, there it is.” Pieces of paper with the tour schedule on it is handed to them and Stevie smiles widely, nodding his head, showing his excitement for the next month ahead. “I’m going to get a shower, if you have any questions, either ask Viv or ask Fred Saunders, our head of security--Viv knows his number. Here are your room keys, I’ve already got you guys checked in. See you tonight.” He finishes, not giving them the chance to even reply before he’s gone.

“He seems…” Axl starts and I look at him.

“He is.” I reply. “Alright, let’s get you guys settled in.”

Doc got them joined rooms, so Duff’s room was connected to Axl’s, who was connected to Izzy, who was connected to Slash, who was connected to Stevie. At first I thought it was a good idea...

“Was your flight okay?” I ask Duff when we get to his room after helping the guys with their luggage, his hotel room door shutting before he sits his suitcase down by the door before looking around the room.

“Dude, this is nice.” He mumbles, letting out a small sigh as I step to the bathroom, cracking the door.

“Duff?”

“Yeah?” He asks, probably still in awe of the room.

I pull my shorts off, revealing the red, lacy, fabric, before pulling my shirt over my head and look at myself in the mirror.

“Your flight?” I remind him.

“Oh, yeah, sorry.” He tells me. “It was okay. Izzy had an anti anxiety pill so that helped.”

"Oh." I reply, hearing him sit on the bed and I take my cross off my neck, pulling my hair to one shoulder. "The guys are really excited to see you guys.” I try to start a conversation.

“Is that why they met us in the lobby?” He sarcastically says and I raise a brow.

“They’re still passed out from last night.” I inform him. “So is Tansy.”

“Is she healed up pretty good now?”

“Yeah, she hates her scar but she’s alright.” I add, rubbing my lips together.

"What are you doing?" I mouth to myself, taking a few heavy breaths before closing my eyes to calm down.

"Well, a scar on her stomach isn't anything to freak out about. Which I know she's a mod…" he trails off when I step out and lean against the bathroom door frame, his eyes scanning up my body, taking their precious time examining the "D" on my hip bone that's visible through the red-tinted see-through panties.

He seems like his mouth is dry and I smirk, my hips slowly swaying with each step before I reach the foot of the bed and crawl on, causing him to pull himself backwards until he's against the headboard, squeezing his eyes closed.

"Viv." He starts, holding down a moan when I throw my long leg over his hip and straddle him.

"Yes?"

"W-We're right next to Axl, and you're not the quietest, and--oh, shit." He groans as my tongue licks up his neck.

"Mhmm." I egg him on, pressing a kiss under his ear as his hands go to my waist.

"You're not very quiet and I don't want him to find out about us." He chokes out, my hands sliding under his shirt to feel at his warm skin before my lips press to his for a moment.

"But I can't be loud with your cock down my throat." I suggest, grinding the junction of my thighs into the bulge in his pants and he lets out a weak noise.

"Vivian, we can't--" he's cut off by my lips meeting his again, our tongues running against each other, causing him to sigh out.

When we pull away he looks like he's about to break his argument.

"Please, baby?" I beg. "If I'm too loud you can just turn me over and press my mouth to the mattress. Or choke me." I add and he raises his brows.

"I can--what?"

"Besides, I only get loud when I take all of it." I softly let out, grinding against him again.

"Y-You take all of it?" He stutters out, eyes wide.

"Mhmm, don't you remember? When you pulled me on top and got as deep as you could, and I told you to go deeper, and I took every fucking inch that I you thought wouldn't fit?" I remind him sultrily and he looks like he's about to pass out from holding back.

"That didn't hurt?" He asks me, trying to stay strong as I kiss at his jaw.

"Kind of, but that's what made me come so fucking hard." I inform him and he clenches his jaw. "Remember what that felt like for me to come all over your--"

"--Vivian, I'm about to have a heart attack." He tells me as if begging for mercy but I'm soaked through my panties and just want to be fucked into oblivion at this point.

"You haven't missed it?" I whisper, my teeth nipping at this neck. "All hot and wet…" I keep going, taking his hand and moving it to cup at my soaked sex through my panties and he curses under his breath. "I know you've missed cumming in it." I bite at my lip.

"Holy fuckin--oh my god." He nearly groans when I take my bra off, my hands running over my breasts, rolling my nipples.

"I've always thought you'd want to do it again when you got here." I say, leaning forward to press a kiss to his lips briefly, not fingers lacing through his hair as I add: "I've been fucking myself every night since it first happened, picturing you inside me while I come over and over again, getting the bedsheets all wet…"

His eyes roll in the back of his head as I reach in his pants and slowly move my hand up and down his long shaft, my mouth watering.

"Vivian, you're gonna make me die." He says, running his hand down his face as I take a swipe of his precum and lick it off my finger, making him look completely entranced. "You didn't tell me you were like this or I would have--fuck…" he can't speak when I pull him out of his zipper and spit down on him, using it as lube to continue jacking him off.

"You would have what?" I ask him innocently, taking my panties off.

"You can't be too loud." He tries to tell me.

"I won't." I assure him.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

He holds his pinky out and I pull his shirt over his head, giggling as he gets his long, blonde hair out of his face, and holds his pinky back up.

"Pinky promise? Because if we get caught, I don't want you getting in trouble." He tells me.

"Pinky promise." I agree, wrapping my pinky with his.

He goes to kiss me, but the walkie-talkie I left on the bathroom counter goes off, and sounds like Fred says, "six and a half."

"I gotta get that." I tell Duff.

"You've been talking mad shit over here and then run when I'm ready?" He aggravates me and I give him a quick kiss before crawling to the foot of the bed. "Okay, you can't do that." He tells me, lunging over me, his chest against my back as I fall to the mattress, laughing, his lips kissing to my shoulder blades. "I know what position we're trying toni--"

Axl's door suddenly swings open--which I could have sworn we had locked--to reveal Axl, Steven, Slash and Izzy.

Their eyes are bugged with shock at the sight of us naked, in a compromising position.

"Welp, you bastards owe me forty-five bucks, each." Izzy states to the guys, seeming to be the only one not surprised, as Fred's still over the walkie-talkie, calling for me.

It was so fucking weird. Axl had a melt down like Duff suspected, and then everyone had to act like they didn't know a damn thing and me and Duff had to act like there wasn't a damn thing to be known.

I hold tight to my crucifix as Nikki, Tommy, Vince and Mick talk with Axl, Stevie, Slash, Izzy and Duff before they're due to go on stage.

"Hey, after the show you guys wanna see what we can get in to down here?" Tommy invites them.

"Hell yeah." Stevie's the first one to say.

"Sounds fine to me." Slash adds.

Tommy and Nikki wait for Duff to reply, and he smiles at their offer but shakes his head a little.

"I got things I gotta do." He tells them. "But thanks, though."

"Of course you've got things to do." Tommy states. "All the pussy you guys are gonna pull in tonight." He explains with a proud smile and I cringe slightly as Axl looks at me.

"Yeah. All that pussy." He repeats, smugly.

"Guys, c'mon." Doc motions to them. "You're up."

"You guys are gonna kill it." Vince encourages them.

"You got this." Tommy adds.

"Don't puke!" Nikki calls to them and I look at him.

"That was lovely, Sixx." Mick mumbles.

"What, it was serious advice." He argues.

I don't say a word, deciding to keep my mouth shut being this is one of the few times we're not screaming at each other.

Halfway through the set, Axl says something that catches Nikki's attention, in particular.

"I'd like to dedicate this next song to someone very special in my life, who's like the absolute she-devil in disguise." He says to the crowd. "She's the type to kick you in the fucking balls and then ask why you're on the ground, but she kicks anybody else's ass who kicks you in the balls so that makes her a friend to me." He adds, grinning when the fans laugh a little. "Goes out to the hottest chick to be on the cover of Playboy, Mrs. Sixx, Vivian, it's called 'You're Crazy'."

I see Nikki's jaw rolling, but I can't tell if it's because Axl brought up Playboy, or called me crazy...he'd probably be even more pissed if I told him Axl actually wrote the song with me in mind.

As Mötley gets ready to take over, Nikki's tugging at my crucifix, pulling it off.

"What the hell, Nikki?!" I bark at him viciously, but calm down when I see he's just putting it around his own neck.

"It's a new leg of the tour, Vivian, it's a fucking good luck charm. Chill your fucking tits."

I don't argue, finding it kind of nice he still wants to wear it, even after everything that's happened between us.

I should buy him his own as a divorce present.

Once Guns is off stage, Tansy’s carrying on about Sparkie--who’s apparently got the “flu”, but I know that excuse all too well.

“Last night he just…” She says defeatedly and the guys chug from their water bottles as she tries to speak carefully, that familiar smack slur in her speech. “...He was like, obsessing over that fucking Playboy issue with you in it.” She informs me. “Then fucked up and said ‘Viv’ while I was giving him a blowjob.”

Axl rolls his eyes at the mention of her giving another man a blowjob and I hold back my smug smile at his expression, but he doesn’t say a word. He just continues to be obsessed with her in private and Izzy mumbles about getting something to eat before leaving.

“I woke up to you screaming, ‘she’s not even doing it right’.” I tell her, being that my room is next door to theirs at the hotel. “Is that because I’m not completely showing everything off, or…?”

“I just don’t like my boyfriend lusting after my best friend..” Tansy calmly explains.

“Well, it’s not my fault your slimy boyfriend can’t control himself.” I state, Stevie stepping out of the room to go with Izzy, I’m assuming.

"I'm not arguing, Viv, alright?" Tansy tries to end it here, but I refuse to let her.

"No, no, you've had plenty to say to Sparkie about it so go ahead and get it all out of your system, Tans." I insist.

"We’ve got different opinions on it, Viv, and I don’t--”

“--Because you just think I’m trying to compete against you.” I say sharply to her..

“No, in order for you to ‘compete’, you’d have to do what I do, as good as I do it, and you didn’t.”

“Oh, I think I did or else you wouldn’t be as upset over it as you are." I hiss back.

"Seriously, can you not get into this right now?" Axl asks us, the guys awkwardly keeping their mouths shut, and me and Tansy ignore him.

"No, Vivian, you're not competing with me, because there's no competition, because this is what I've been doing for a living the past six years. I'm sorry if you regret starting a life with Nikki because you never got to finish school and have your own identity and your own thing going for you--"

"--You think I regret starting my own life?" I ask her in disbelief.

"I think you regret not going to school and being a dancer like you'd planned, because all of us are living the dream we've had since we were kids, except for you, so you feel left behind." She clarifies.

"Who the hell said I'm left behind? I'm still with you guys, I'm still here." I argue.

"Yeah, as 'Nikki Sixx's wife' and 'Tansy Lyn's Friend', and that's why you posed because at least your actual name--you as an individual--would finally be on a fucking magazine, the only problem is you don't think it was worth it, now."

"Girls--" I put my hand up, causing Slash to stop before he starts, and he shakes his head and lets out a breath.

"--Are you sure I'm the one that thinks being plastered naked in a magazine isn't worth it? Who's the one so strung out she's completely projecting her bullshit on to her friend and belittling her to make herself feel like she's won?"

"Won what?! What's the fucking prize, Vivian?!"

"I'm outta here." Slash mumbles, not wanting to be around the bullshit drama, as I yell back:

"Attention, Tansy! Everybody knows the thing that drives you is attention and how other people view you! You're so jealous at the fact that, for onc, guys aren't focused on sweet, little, travel-sized-bed-bunny, Tansy, that you don't know how to fucking handle it! And modeling with your pussy and tits out isn't worth it to you anymore because, yes you've got money and fame and attention, but you are still so fucking unhappy! You're angry and envious because I'm content with the fact I'm naked in a magazine, and you're so sick with yourself for doing the same thing!"

"Viv, c'mon, now." Duff says lowly as he nudges me to cut it out, but I can't. I'm too pissed.

"God, Vivian, you are so fucking privileged!" She starts laughing, tears in her eyes and I raise my brows. "I winded up modeling for these nude magazines because me and mama needed the fucking money! I never got my license because we couldn't afford a car for me so what the hell was the point?! Any 'spending' money was put towards pageants and cheer, and when I got the offer I took it and ran with it because I was tired of being fucking broke!" She yells and I roll my jaw. "You, however, did it just because you wanted to! And I know they gave you a lot of money for it and you're scared of Nikki not leaving you enough money to take care of yourself when you guys divorce--and I'm sorry for you, that sucks--but, Vivian, you didn't sign a prenup so half of his shit is going to you, anyway, and being that he's casually had checks of $600,000 chilling in his mailbox before, you're gonna be pretty fucking set for a while without having the extra $40,000! You are so fucking spoiled and you don't even realiz--"

"--I'm sorry, I'm what?!" I scream, taking a step closer to her, causing Axl to get a little closer as well.

"Viv, seriously, please just leave it alone." Duff begs me and I disregard it as Tansy goes on.

"You literally went from your dad buying you everything you fucking wanted, to Nikki buying you everything you fucking wanted, and you've never had to lift a finger to get any of it! All you had to do was ask your dad for whatever, and now all you've gotta do is give Nikki a blowjob and the world is yours!"

"I don't recall asking my dad or Nikki for a fucking scholarship to Juilliard! I don't recall asking neither of them to fill in for me, dancing for eight fucking hours a day--on my fucking toes--for years, or study for me in all my classes so I could have a high GPA to get into a good school! I might not have a 'thing' right now, but I do know what hard work is and if you want to compare dancing and modeling, we sure as hell can because I assure you, Tansy, you're not where you are because you worked your ass off, you're where you are because you fucked all the right people and got to the top!"

"And so did you!" She exclaims, and Duff and Axl are pulling me off of her a few seconds after my nails are going for her throat.

"Fuck off!" Axl screams at me, getting us separated, standing in front of her to guard her as Duff's got my back against him, his long arms having a steel grip around me in case I try to go again.

Tansy's only got a small, surface scratch over her neck.

"I might have my issues, Vivian, but anytime any of us act batshit crazy and just attack people it's because we're tripping on something and don't know what we're doing! You're so fucked up all on your own without needing anything to bring it out of you!" She yells.

"I didn't start losing my temper and being 'crazy' until you and Nikki and Tommy and Vince decided to become raging drug addicts and alcoholics and then act like it's still all fun and games when two of you OD at least twice a fucking year!" I shriek back. "And I don't feel left behind, yet, but I will when you junkies finally shoot your last fucking cc, and I'm left to plan fucking funerals!"

Her face falls at my words, realizing why I'm such a fucking wreck all the time.

"I don't look at you and think 'model' and I don't look at the guys and think 'Mötley Crüe' because I just see fucked up morons who need help but refuse to fucking accept it, so congratulations, Tansy, at least you found your 'thing', I mean really, I'm so envious that I'm not a sloppy heroin addict, alcoholic, crackhead. You really do win." I finish, getting out of Duff's grasp, leaving and slamming the door behind me.

"The fuck is your problem, huh?!" Axl barks, following after me and I ignore him, causing him to grab at my arm roughly, stopping me, and I whip around to face him, seeing Duff coming to us.

"Leave me the fuck alone, Axl." I warn him.

"Or what? You gonna hit me? I wish to fuck you would, you crazy bitch, I'll have you laid out right here." He cuts back.

"Axl, man, leave her alone." Duff tells him, trying to pull him away from me but Axl sharply snatches away from him.

I see Fred coming towards us from the corner of my eye, Slash and Doc following behind him.

Getting the timing perfect, the palm of my hand is smacking as hard as it can against Axl's cheek, and we're being pulled apart before he can hit me back, which I know he's planning on doing.

“For the love of God, Vivian, can you fucking stay out of a fucking fight just for one fucking night?!” Fred shouts at me, “Girls, Girls, Girls” beginning to play from the stage.

“No, because she’s a fucking psycho!” Axl barks back.

“Oh, I’m the fucking psycho?!” I blare at him.

“Vivian, please calm down.” Doc pleads, rubbing his forehead.

“Suck my clit!” I sneer at him, trying to kick him.

“I’m so close to have you thrown in a psych ward and evaluated!” He’s suddenly outbursting.

“The fuck did you just say?!” Duff’s getting in on it, now, his nostrils flaring at Doc’s comment. “Maybe she’s this out of order because she’s got so much fucking pressure on her from you selfish motherfuckers!”

“You wanna stay on this tour or not, kid?!” Doc snaps at him.

“I’ll go get Nikki off the fucking stage to come handle this shit--you threatening to throw his fucking wife in a crazy house, the fuck is wrong with you?!” Duff keeps on.

“Alright, everybody just calm down!” Fred yells, making everyone go quiet, the many crew members now stopped and watching everything go down. “Duff, Axl, Slash, find Izzy and Steven and stay in your fucking dressing room and eat.” He orders, pointing at the three of them.

Axl’s let go, and he’s shooting me the nastiest glare in the world as he pushes past us, Duff glancing at me, letting out a heavy breath before following him with Slash.

“Doc, go watch the show.” Fred states next.

Doc looks like he’s about to argue.

“Doc. I’m serious.”

He exhales and steps away, turning the corner, and Fred then stares at everyone staring at us.

“The fuck are you cock-suckers looking at?” He asks them.

They nervously fumble about their business and Fred pulls me to the bathroom.

He stares at me when we get inside and I raise my brows at him, expecting him to immediately start in on me, but he surprises me when he stays silent for a while, looking as if he’s trying to figure how to speak, until he finally does...and causes the breath to leave my body completely.

“How long have you been fucking him?”

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