#i'm just Thinkin you know?

[spaceprinceencie]

I think about Nagito’s death at the end of SDR2 a lot. There’s so much symbolism and meaning in it. His death reflects a lot of the other deaths from the first game, which is a cool easter egg, but the meaning of that also kind of blows my mind. 

The symbolism of how he’s embodying so much of the despair from the first game, compiled into a single death. How he’s depending on his luck to burn out every last ounce of despair from this death game, while also embodying every ounce from the last one at the same time. He - intentionally/consciously or not - is embodying as much despair as he can so he can burn it all away and bring hope. 

But most recently I’ve also been thinking a lot about the spear. 

Because there’s two major ways you can interpret Nagito’s luck cycle: either luck is a real supernatural force that exists in the DR universe, or Nagito is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Personally, I do think it’s hard to argue that everything that happens to Nagito throughout the series is totally unrelated to some greater supernatural force. But I also think it’s so tragic to think of his luck cycle as just a bunch of psychological tricks. So a little bit of this is a “what if”: even if it’s not the most likely explanation, there is a way of arguing for it and I think that’s interesting. He believes with all his heart that he’s cursed by this luck cycle. That good and bad will happen to him in extremes, in waves. Confirmation bias tells us he’ll pick out that pattern easily, searching for evidence that supports his understanding of the world, and then presenting what is essentially cherry-picked evidence to other characters. Which is often what we see of his luck cycle: the narrative he has constructed. Then, throw in how he’d subconsciously make decisions and put himself in situations that further supports his view of himself and the world. He might purposefully put himself in precarious positions when he thinks there’s bad luck due. He might do something like hang a spear above his own head. That act, metaphorical or literal, is then, also sort of his essence, isn’t it? Nagito hangs spears above him, poised to kill him, and waits for his luck - real or not - to use them. And when the spear falls, because if you keep hanging spears above your head eventually they’ll fall, he calls it intentional and purposeful. He calls it part of his luck cycle. But how much of it is really luck, and how much of it is that he’s just hanging spears and waiting? How much of it is that he really believes he deserves bad luck or pain or hurt? Honestly, we don’t know exactly if the poison killed him before the spear did. We can certainly assume it did, since Monokuma rules Nanami the killer, and because the spear was supposedly released upon Nagito’s death (and the nature of the poison). However, I think there’s enough doubt in there to argue that, even if its unlikely, the spear did kill him. Monokuma could’ve lied, there was no one and no way to prove him wrong after all. The poison could’ve weakened Nagito just enough that he wasn’t dead until the spear impaled him. 

Just, think of the potential symbolism of the fact that we can only assume- based on incomplete and biased observations - that the poison killed him. That Nagito’s luck killed him. From that biased assumption, we are led to believe his luck is cyclic and intentional. Just like everything Nagito does and says could be seen as a biased presentation of evidence that leads us to the same conclusions. But realistically we can also assume that Nagito just killed himself by hanging a spear over himself and waiting. We can also assume Nagito's luck isn't as drastic as he claims. What if, in reality, he just keeps hanging spears above him and waiting, maybe even hoping, they fall?

[high-voltage-rat]

something I do appreciate about red vs blue is its particular brand of “came back wrong”. you were brought back, but you’re just a memory of the person you’re supposed to be. you’re just the expectations of them. you’re just the pieces everyone else saw and remembered. you’re tough like the original, but you’ll always fail no matter how tough you are, because the original failed, too. you’ve got a personality like the original, but it’s not quite right because you didn’t actually live the life they did. there’s this person you love- who you would kill or suffer or die for- but you don’t know why, you just know you’re supposed to be together because that’s what you were made for.

[jesperr-fahey]

started rewatching original castlevania and am thinking about nocturne and like. hm. when i finished nocturne last night, my main thought was "that was really good, but not as good as the original" but i'm rewatching now and putting into context that. this is the first season! even if you count the first 2 seasons of castlevania as the "first" (with the short half season at the beginning), it's... kind of a slow start? which was my biggest "problem" with nocturne. i didn't feel very invested in the characters at first, the fight scenes weren't quite as exciting as i wanted them to be, etc

but that's true in castlevania too! trevor and sypha aren't nearly as strong as they are later, and they don't even start fighting with alucard until several episodes in. and they're pretty one-dimensional at the beginning, too- you get hints of sypha's passion, trevor's and alucard's grief, but not much. that all comes later, as we get to know them

and that's the point nocturne is at! richter, maria, annette, they're all getting stronger- richter couldn't even use magic until close to the end of the season, he still only has a basic whip, so of course the fights weren't as crazy as we maybe wanted them to be. he's not there yet. but he's getting there- we just have to give him a chance. i think i've forgotten that i had to give trevor and sypha a chance, too.

[camellcat]

CAMPBELL BAIN U MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

fun extras since this took me FOREVER!!

anddd finally, here's a playlist of the music I listened to while working on this! it's definitely not my usual tunes but I swear I was just so much more productive and better at drawing him when I switched to these hahaha

[dreamlogic]

i have no clue what's going on w/ the hiring process for the job offer i got yesterday, but at least it seems like nobody at the post office does either. 🙃

[shadydays047]

randomly thinking about my owner violently defending me against an old woman trying to call the cops on me

Her: "You know what Karen?? Why DOESN'T your dog have a mane? Maybe my dog is just cooler than yours! Quit bullying my dog just because he looks different!"

Me:

[good-wine-and-cheese]

Gambling Apocalypse Tenma AU

As I rewatch Kaiji I inevitably end up wanting to combine show I like with other show I like and stuffing fav characters into show. So here we are.

This was uh going to be a short summary type thing but I accidentally wrote a novella about it sorry

This AU starts off with a much more depressive Tenma. After Tobio's death, rather than immediately pour his grief into developing a robot version of his son, he recedes into himself, psychologically paralyzed, likely turning to alcohol to drown out his anguish.

His mental state is taken as an opportunity within the Ministry of Science to have him ejected from his position; Tenma was never the most well-liked director, and there were those with ambition to usurp him that would jump at the chance. Not that he especially cares in his state.

He's eventually dragged out of his stagnation by Ochanomizu - who, inadvertently, becomes the very catalyst pushing Tenma to develop a robot replacement to his child. This was not what he meant by encouraging Tenma to fill the void left by his son.

...But, well, he is no longer the director of the Ministry of Science. His access to limitless government funds and resources for "scientific research" has been cut off, and this is a project he cannot finance on his own. He can't ask Ochanomizu for help, but...interestingly...a representative of a certain shady organization known as the Teiai Corporation reaches out to him, offering to finance and support his project. A sane and well-minded Tenma might think better of it, but grieving and desperate, Tenma accepts their offer and is able to create a robot in the image of his beloved Tobio. For a while, there's joy in his life.

But the bill, as ever, comes due: Tenma must pay up, and the very resources that had been at his disposal will certainly ensure that he will, or else. Of course, he doesn't have the money; instead, he is given a choice. He can relinquish the robot Tobio in order to wipe out his debt - the child is a sophisticated and powerful robot, after all - or he can participate in a certain illicit event hosted by the Teiai Corporation.

It's nothing major...just a four-hour gambling cruise with a collection of desperate, damned souls that were also swept into debt with Teiai. The conditions are simple: Those who choose to participate are given a chance to clear their debts wholesale should they win. And should they lose...?

Well...no one really knows what happens to the losers seized by Teiai. It's said that they labour away their debts under Teiai's watchful eye and are freed once their work has covered their debts, though it's rumoured that most perish before they reclaim freedom.

There's only one answer Tenma can give, of course; he's not willing to lose Tobio again.

Thus is Tenma's debut into the Gambling Apocalypse, where he must become cutthroat in order to survive; if he wants to see his son again, he must make choices that will doom the hapless to miserable servitude, with a nonzero chance it ends in their death.

He survives the cruise, but of course, it was hardly enough to clear his debt; the cruise was never going to be the end of it. Teiai doesn't let go of its victims that easily. He will be called on again: this is a weight that hangs over him, all while he returns to his son Tobio. The same hands that have pushed innocents into hell must now be the hands that can embrace his child.

He wants to protect Tobio from the truth and enjoy what peaceful moments he's allowed with his son, but it's difficult. It's difficult to be the parent of a child who cannot understand the danger that looms ahead; this "happy" home is not to last. Tenma angers quickly and easily. He turns that anger onto Tobio.

As Teiai's games become more and more vicious and unrelenting, as his conscience holds onto the last vestiges of thread that remain, Tenma even threatens, once, to give the boy in: it would all end, then; the debt would be clear and no longer would he have to endure Tobio's childish annoyances, his ungratefulness.

The next time that Tenma is beckoned, Tobio takes matters into his own hands. He does understand, now; and he would have, if only Tenma had bothered to explain sooner. If it's a debt that needs clearing, he will work. He will help his father clear his debts however he can. Of course, it's difficult to find work as a child; but a circus troupe finds amusement in the idea of a child robot, and takes him in. He is whisked into a certainly unpleasant working situation, but he remembers his father, and what he must be enduring. Tobio, also, will endure.

When Tenma returns, Tobio is gone.

All that held Tenma back from becoming something monstrous has disappeared. All that kept him going has disappeared. When he is called upon by Teiai, there is no knowing what sort of person might come out the other end; whether a monster clawing his way to freedom regardless of what actions he must take, or a desolate husk surrendering defeat.

There is still a light, however dim: Found by Professor Ochanomizu and rescued from the circus, Tobio - now Atom - is able to shed light on the situation which Tenma took great pains to keep hidden from his old friend. With time running out, Ochanomizu and Atom must do what they can to save Tenma - from Teiai, and from himself.

-----

UHHH and that's a wrap!!!! I couldn't quite decide which way Tenma would go after hitting Rock Bottom in this AU, and tbh it would really depend on the kind of mental state he's in at the time. On the one hand I like the narrative of Ochanomizu and Tobio racing to prevent Tenma from crossing a line (actual outright murder probably) - or having to pull him back into humanity (and yknow, his ensuing penance)

But on the other hand having him get sent to Teiai Evil Hell Prison would be interesting because a) there's a lot of narrative potential having Tenma faced with what Teiai is doing with the people that lose the games and b) need him to decimate the foreman at chinchirorin Kaiji style

Tenma's whole character is definitely a much different guy in this AU, he starts off pretty sympathetic, the guy you wanna root for, he just ends up having an inverse character arc where he gets worse instead of better. His conflict with "Tobio" is also kind of reversed, less about being unsatisfied with Tobio as a son and more not being able to handle the fact that he probably has intense PTSD now and isnt capable of coping with it in a way conducive to being a parent (or like, coping at all)

Anyway that's gambling apocalypse tenma!!!

[oddthesungod]

I really really like how intense the Dawnfather is, dude's got a fucking SUN for a head, if you get too close to him you WILL feel the intensity of it and you might burn! But just as the sun can burn it also fosters life and healing, which goes entirely with his domain of agriculture and light, it's pretty cool.

And I like....... also really like how despite him being unquestionably good from what we saw, he's not NICE, he's intense and forceful, and he's just not nice, even if he is good. Just like the sun!

[mishkakagehishka]

I think i could probably write my thesis on something like androcentrism or how language shapes bias and vice versa.

[echthr0s]

I have to like. titrate how often I watch NJB videos bc the stuff he talks about makes me SO ANGY and then I have to go outside and DEAL with the stuff he's talkin about on a regular basis and I just combust into a ball of rage. but one thing that is comforting is that he seems to be just as furious especially since he also has to deal with asshats in his comments who have no listening comprehension or ability to think outside their own consumerism-addled brains

anyway fuck these stupid ass fucking trucks ✌🏿

[bird-lube-now]

what's a girl gotta do to get her face shoved into girlbulge and boypussy around here 😔

[obnoxiousarcade]

im thinking again

[leadendeath]

i've been holding off on asking this for so long but,, i simply cannot contain it any longer,,,

do the sea creatures from the spongerobert show count as furry. anthro... pomorphic... LIL GUYS??! pls assist....

[imminent-danger-came]

please elaborate on the "look at how quirky our characters are" joke

I'll do my best to explain it!

So, it's basically writing the characters around the joke rather than the joke around the characters. You have your character do whatever is funniest for the bit, or whatever is the "most endearing" character moment for the scene, but at the cost of consistency. It especially becomes an issue for me when this "do it for the bit" writing clashes with previously established character traits and themes.

[byanyan]

byan finally getting comfortable enough with someone that they'll let that person take care of them and even go to them for care any time they're sick/hurt/not in a good place mentally/etc. is such a fucking dynamic goal tbh

[nero-neptune]

still watching manhunt. there's something about seeing black people in shows or movies set in the 1800s. there's this mix of sadness and anger i always feel bc the fucking unfairness makes me sick. and if it's something set the south? then i know that members of my family i'll never know would've experienced that. it would've been All they ever knew.

i always say "i'd hate to live back then" (bc um! i would!!), but i have to remember that they still lived. they had lives, despite the shit they had to endure. at the end of the day, the very fact that i'm alive means that plenty of my black ancestors existed and lived their lives while black in america (the american south, at that). through slavery, emancipation, segregation, integration, and on and on. so idk. i'm sure there were many different things in their lives that made their lives worth living. if nothing else, it was a life. and i doubt they saw their lives as some endless hopeless tribulation.

anyway, manhunt's a good show. got me pondering shit lol.