#i'm scared too. can we try to be vulnerable together

[prokkoli]

your inner child

[weird-little-book-lover]

Aziraphale's expression here really stuck with me - and I think it may be because it is the moment Aziraphale realizes they aren't having one of their normal arguments.

I actually don't think he understands throughout Crowley's confession - he never fully responds or acknowledges anything Crowley says.

Crowley was prepped for this conversation, Aziraphale wasn't. He isn't picking up the signs.

I think about how Crowley really didn't see where Nina and Maggie were trying to take the conversation. Crowley honestly had no idea where they were going.

I think THIS is when it hits Aziraphale there is more happening here..

It's the first time his expression matches Crowley's.

And when Crowley says we could have been "us" Aziraphale turns away as he starts to get overwhelmed. It's all happening very fast, and it's just too much.

He's suddenly in a conversation he didn't see coming.

I don't know that Aziraphale has ever looked away from Crowley like this before?

I'm theorizing it's because he's overwhelmed. He's hurt. He's confused, and maybe scared?

His mask is completely gone. He's completely vulnerable.

He's covering with anger already.

But he's not allowed to retreat. Crowley isn't going to let him get off that easily.

In the same instant that it's beginning, it's somehow ending.

The kiss completely breaks him.

There's no misunderstanding at this point.

But it's too much.

It's Too Fast.

You go too fast for me, Crowley

Crowley always could pivot faster than Aziraphale. Add on the pressure of some prat (Metatron) watching through the window, and this being the FIRST time they've had such a real moment - I can see where it was just too much.

He has two choices.

Break. Or redirect his emotions to anger.

He chooses to steel himself up against a rising wave of sorrow.

This also means - had Aziraphale understood what Crowley was saying in real-time they could have come to a better resolution. They could have come together.

[4ngel-inc]

࿔*:･ 𝐁𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐎𝐆𝐒 — 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐔𝐏 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐔𝐏 ࿐

tags — fem reader, a little angsty but mostly fluff !! ᰔ

𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈 never wanted to let you go, he'd always believed you'd be together forever, but when he finally opened up and told you about his past—about his time in the mafia and everything that entailed—he thought he noticed a flicker of fear in your eyes, and it scared him. he simply couldn't handle the thought of being judged or abandoned later down the line for his past mistakes. it was selfish, really, the way the tears rolled down your cheeks solely from such an impulsive decision on his part. he regretted it immediately, but it was simply too late—he'd already broken your heart. for months, he contemplated how to get you back—flowers and apologies simply wouldn't be enough, he knew that. did he even deserve your love, after the heartache he'd put you through? he finally convinced you to grab coffee at your favorite cafe, and decided on a very simple approach, the one you deserved—spilling his heart out to you entirely. "i just want to be loved, i've never admitted it to anyone, and i've never loved anyone. i'm- uh, not sure what to do with my feelings." he looks sad, and it's the most serious you've ever seen him. after listening to him pour his heart out for a while, and overcoming a little hesitation, you decide to give him another chance. "we can try again, but please, let me see the real you this time, osamu," he waits for you to finish, "it wasn't fear in my eyes, it was love. i just can't bear the thought of you hurting, or of you being so lonely, but i'm here now, k?" you both smile, and share a sweet kiss.

𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐔𝐘𝐀 isn't the type to thrive off of instability—he likes safety, security in a relationship. he never wanted the type of relationship that was on and off again, it was childish in his eyes, and not something he found appealing. and so the first time you two had decided to take a break, he told himself it was the last time—he was done with the relationship, and brushed it off as a passing fling, since you two were only together less than a year. however, he begins to understand why he trusted you in the first place as time goes on and your absence starts to sink in—you made him feel different than the rest, made him feel like a different person. there was something in the way you touched him that made him feel worthy, like love wasn't a rarity or a foreign concept, but simply a part of his everyday life. and now, that feeling is gone. chuuya is quite stubborn, so it takes him a while to realize how much he truly misses you, but when it finally sinks in one night, as he aerates an expensive red wine in his glass he's sure you'd scold him for drinking so late at night, he decides enough is enough. it doesn't take long for him to show up at your door, and he's quite frank when he arrives—as soon as you open the door, he sighs, "no relationship is perfect, i'm sorry i gave up on ours, it was a stupid fight. can we try again, doll? i miss you, a lot actually." needless to say, you give in.

𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐖𝐀 wasn't expecting you two to break up at all, but you just couldn't handle the pain of watching him come home bruised and bloodied every night. even more than that, you couldn't understand why he wanted to continue working for the mafia anyways, especially when they were clearly just using him—you butted heads about it a lot, and eventually you decided to leave, akutagawa coming home to an empty apartment one day. you'd warned him you were leaving a few days before, but that didn't lessen the hurt he felt the first time he had to sleep alone. even now, weeks later, as he showers and climbs into bed, he doesn't feel the same as he did before he met you. is he changing? he feels softer, more vulnerable, he feels like crying—he hates to admit it. however, you are the one who decides to come back to him, realizing you'd made a mistake. you knock on his front door one night as he's getting ready for bed, and though he answers with an inquisitive look in his eyes, he lets you in. "what are you doing here?" he asks. you sigh, "don't sound so happy to see me." he isn't sure how open he should be with his feelings, you'll likely just hurt him again. "should i be happy? you won't stay, anyways." you approach him hesitantly, "i was wrong about us, about you—the mafia is the life you know, and loving someone means accepting all of them. if you'll give me another chance, ryūnosuke," you pause before continuing again, "i'd like to show you how much i love you this time, i don't want to be scared anymore." it isn't difficult for him to give in, and you stay the night, and all of the nights after.

𝐅𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐙𝐀𝐖𝐀 never pictured himself in a serious relationship, so when he does find himself settling into one, it makes him a bit nervous. he isn't used to anything, or anyone, uprooting his life or shaking things up—other than work. so, he's a bit more critical of relationships than he might be otherwise. after your first petty argument, one that only happened months into your relationship, he convinces himself that maybe, the two of you just aren't quite a good fit. he lets you down easy, "dear, i'm worried maybe we've rushed into this a bit. i'd like to take a step back, for the time being." needless to say, it hurts, a lot. but you decide to respect his wishes and give him his space, and you find you're starting to enjoy being single again. moving on from fukuzawa isn't easy—he's the man of your dreams—but after convincing yourself you simply aren't the one he wants anymore, you begin to heal, and see the sun shine through the clouds a bit. however, fukuzawa only grows lonelier as the days go on. it's the silence of his home when he returns late at night, the way he craves the sweets you'd make him, the way he reads his books without you by his side, and the way he takes his walks without your hand there to hold, that make him realize life with you was always better than life alone. fukuzawa is a stern man, but not when it comes to this—he calls you and calmly asks to talk, and after humbly asking for another chance, it's easy to give him one. he's ready to love you with no inhibitions this time—you deserve the best of him, after all, and he'll gladly give it to you.

[seat-safety-switch]

All around you, businesses are suffering because they neglected the cybers. That's right. Cybersecurity is more important than ever, because Russians will send you an email attachment that you open, and then your whole network gets all fucked up. And the experts are run off their feet trying to clean all this mess up. In fact, they're so busy, that I decided to step into the breach and help them out a little.

First, some background: yes, before I went "freelance" by way of living a cash-heavy, odd-jobs, hand-to-mouth, criminal-record squatter lifestyle, I too had a regular office job. Perhaps you have one like it. Let me give you some keywords and you let me know if they trigger any deep-seated trauma: Microsoft Excel. Microsoft PowerPoint. Microsoft Project. Now that we've established our mutual bona fides, it's time for your employer to become my employer: by hiring me to clean up the next time that Bob Dipshit, CFO, decides he's going to double-click the wrong icon and hoses the entire Eastern Seaboard.

Do I have expertise in this kind of thing? No. Will I get your files back intact? Probably not. Will anyone else get your files back? About the same chance, if I'm honest. At least this way, we both – that's right, we're partners now – get to rack up some billable hours while we "study the problem" and "look for vulnerabilities" in the meantime. And you never know. Maybe once we send a photo of the car I used to get here, the Russians will realize you don't actually have any money and turn the whole thing off. Rust scares them, you see. Their cars are all made out of exotic compressed resins that goats occasionally eat if you park in the wrong place.

So the next time your office gets all screwed up, don't waste time calling the pros. Waste time calling a complete amateur, and together we can loot the company of a bunch of money before they resign themselves to having to restore from a backup. My rates are entirely reasonable, unless you're the one paying them.

[purity-in-heart]

No More! It's Time to Rally!

I'm officially calling it, to all of the cardiophile community here on Tumblr! I say no more! For too long, female users especially have been pushed around and harassed to an illegal amount, pushing and breaking our limits. This recent string of harassment has exploited the vulnerable and left them scared to an illegal degree. Some have been dehumanized to their heart and sex, others have been doxxed and give their exact location. When users aren't seemingly-purposefully insensitive about being unable to understand how posting again can be so hard, they're threatened and/or insulted. This isn't the full case, but it gives an idea on what has become of our community by one or a handful of people who often exploit the anon system because they know they will get an answer and attention when they don't flood DMs. For as long as I had been on here, this community breathed some beautiful new life into my own and I had met many wonderful people in every way imaginable. I have, too, seen the occasional fool, but I have never seen things like this nor have I seen it so bad. Even non-cardiophiles who look into heartbeats are being dragged into our situation and put in the crossfire. I say no more! No more! No more! No more! No more! This is my righteous anger, and I ask- No, I'm genuinely beyond asking. This is too important. So I demand it! It's time we raise the banner and wave it high! This is our community! Let's take it back!! I call to EVERYBODY in Tumblr's cardiophile community! It's time! We will rally and unite, and defend our family, our home, and protect our lives from these harassers, if it's not one person! We will not let them tear us down or turn against each other and we will not compromise! But we can only truly do this if we do it together!

I'm calling for every member on here who is still here! If you're sick of this, voice yourself in defiance. This is what we'll do for now until these harassers are banned and peace is returned:

- No answering toxic anons - Block harassing DMs and report the sender. - Pool together every last bit of information, no matter how irrelevant it may seem, we have collectively until we can pinpoint who this person or these people are and where they're coming from, so we can ban them and make this community safer. - Never act unless with absolute certainty so we don't turn on each other and accidentally ban an innocent user. - Never harass or insult a suspect or anybody who might be guilty, it will only breed more harm and toxicity and give these harassers what they want. - Never ever let them push us around or make us feel afraid, angry or insecure again. Ever. These harassers feed on this and the attention like vampires. The time is now, people! Stand together or be afraid. We won't know if something, anything, will work unless we try and never give up. Which would you rather do? Because we are not powerless and I won't let anybody feel that way, much less be made to feel that way.

I stand

[thegnomelord]

Got an idea for prompt #20. Ghost, Price and male reader for monster au with reader wanting to try giving up control for once

Sure thing mate! I kinda got ahead of myself lol. Play the game HERE.

Prompt: Trusting enough to give up control

CW: NSFW, Dom dragon Price, Switch wraith Ghost, Sub male mage Reader, Monster au, collars, blowjobs, Dom/Sub, praise kink.

You don't have a right to feel apprehensive; you suggested this after all, but your fingers tremble as you trace the leather inscribed with anti-magic runes. The collar should feel comfortable around your neck, you know because you touched the leather a thousand times before even humoring the idea of putting it on... but the idea of being without magic — completely defenseless — arouses and scares the shit out of you.

A blackened hand grips your jaw almost too tenderly, tilting your head up so you meet Simon's gaze. "Havin' second thoughts?" He presses closer to you until he's bullied his way between your legs with his knees spreading your own, boxers retaining all of your modesties for now.

You give a small sound, neither confirming nor denying. It earns you a weak slap to the inner thigh from Price's tail, his chest and your back fitting together like puzzle pieces. "There's no shame in backing out." He purrs, sharp talons gently massaging the sting out of your thigh while his tail curls around your shin. "But we need you to be vocal lad-" He takes the collar from your hand, "-do you want this?"

"Get on with it." You snap before you can chicken out, breathing in to calm your nerves. "...please."

The last word has Price rewarding you by groping your cock. "Good boy," Simon looks at him for permission, his lips sealing over yours to swallow your groan as soon as it's given. Your teeth click together, his kisses always so aggressive and demanding that you almost forget about the collar until you feel the cold buckle against your skin.

The effect is immediate; an unpleasant jolt rushes down your spine to flood every vertebrae with a bone gnawing cold, a heavy fog settling over a portion of your mind. The leather puts resistance on your throat as you breathe as if to mock you for your choice, reminding of how weak you are, how useless-

Price places a gentle kiss on your cheek, his beard tickling your skin and claws carding through your hair. "Color?"

Simon's hands grope your sides, the collar turning even the wraith's freezing hands blessedly warm. "Go on, use that pretty mind for us." He orders in a gruffer voice, his lips still close to yours.

"Green," You suck in a small breathe, goosebumps spreading across your skin. "Just cold."

Simon presses even closer to you, burning lips taking your breath away so he can nibble on your lip. "Can't have that, can we Captain?" He smirks, ignoring you to look at Price. "'specially when our boy's being so docile."

"'s that so?" You notice how Price keeps a possessive hand over your throat, one finger hooked underneath the collar. "D'you think you've earned a reward?" He asks, his other hand tracing down your front to play with the band of your boxers.

"Please." The word escapes your throat before your mind can even finish processing the question.

"Good boy," Prices loves the way you shiver, loves the sight of you so open and vulnerable just for them; he catches Simon licking his lips. "Go on then Simon," His hand slides beneath your boxers to push the band down until your cock springs out. "'m sure you're hungry." Just seeing your rock hard cock throb when he swipes his roughly scared thumb across the head has Price's own dick go hard.

"I'm not the only one." Simon rumbles and bites your collarbone, leaving a trail of dark hickeys and teeth imprints across your front until he's face to face with your aching cock. "Fuck, such an adorable thing." He growls against the meat of your thigh, biting you there just so he can see a drop of pre-cum bead atop your cock head. "Should keep a collar 'round your neck all the time so you can be pretty and pliant for us."

"Simon-" The width of his shoulders and Price's tail around your shin keeps you from closing your legs, embarrassment making your cheeks burn hot. "-you fucker," You growl and attempt to grab his hair so you can get his mouth where you need it.

You yelp when Price slaps your cock with his tail, pain and pleasure flaring up your spine. "None of that." Price growls, keeping a hand on your collar and pinning your hands to your stomach with the other. "Play nice-" His eyes shift to Simon's. "-both of you."

"Yes sir." Simon relents, grabbing a hold of your cock your eyes close as he licks from your base to the tip of your cock. A little squeeze of Price's hand has your eyes snapping open just in time to see Simon's monstrously long tongue loll out of his mouth, wrapping and stroking your shaft as he suckles your head, drool and your pre-cum staining his chin.

"Good boys." Price rumbles as your head falls back on his shoulder, barely able to keep your eyes open as Simon sucks you like a trained whore, leaving fingerprint bruises while he holds your hips down from bucking. "Simon feels good, doesn't he?" You nod your head, hissing when Simon suddenly swallows you down to the base; Wraiths don't need to breathe and Simon takes full advantage of that fact by swallowing around you, hot throat spasming and long tongue stroking the sensitive veins along your cock.

"Go on sweetheart." Price nibbles on your ear as you shake and try not to cum quickly like a teenager but it's a loosing battle, Simon's hot mouth and the dark look he gives as he stares at you has you tumbling towards orgasm faster than anything else. "No need to hold on." He lets go off your hands to push Simon's head even further down on your cock, until your tip's pocking the back of his throat.

Price's permission is all it takes, the building heat in your stomach spilling over the sides as you cum, your hips uselessly bucking against Simon's hold as you cum down his throat. Simon doesn't even choke, throat constricting and milking you for all you have, continuing to suckle until you grow soft in his mouth.

You're barely lucid when Simon finally pulls off, cum and drool bridging his lips with the tip of your cock, your body completely boneless but still able to twitch as Simon licks the residual cum from your oversensitive dick.

"Good boy." Price praises and you can feel his own hard cock poke into your ass. "I think he can go again, don't you, Simon?"

Simon smirks and raises to give you a sloppy kiss, your brain too melted into mush to care about the taste of your cum on his tongue. "Oh-" Simon's hand sneaks down to stroke your soft cock back to harness, ignoring your pitiful whining. "-I think he can."

[heartcereql]

𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝘂𝘀 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹𝘀

ao'nung x fem!metkayina!reader

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒- after an abrupt break up, your feelings for your best friend's brother arise again.

𝐂𝐖- slightly ooc ao'nung (felt like writing him soft for once; bear with me) cursing, english is not my first language.

𝐀/𝐍- i love this song ong

tsireya and you had been joined at the hip since you were mere babies. you'd been there growing up, through life's ups and downs, knew each other like the back of your hand.

so, naturally, you knew her family as she knew yours. your parents had also grown closer over the years, used to their daughters spendind the better part of their time together. and you got to know the other's siblings. which you would certainly be grateful for.

at first, you were intimidated by tsireya's brother. he scared you, to be completely honest. but then he actually talked to you, you must have been nine or so, and fright turned to childish infatuation.

of course, once you identified your feelings, you immediatly buried them and tried your best to avoid and forget ao'nung.

as you grew, you used to stay up all night, sneaking out, looking for a taste of real life. you met new people, loved to explore, discovered secrets and messed around some more. you had eventuallt found a guy. he and you were no more than a fling, but to tsireya always seemed like a big deal. and then the omaticayas came and she got involved with that sully boy. you were beyond happy for her, but you didn't miss the way it was more and more difficult to find time for you both alone.

this all led you to standing in front of her marui, doing your best to not break down crying again about some dumb idiotic kid, hoping to be able to see your best friend.

"uh, hey" you said, startled by ao'nung there, immediatly trying your best to hide the trace of tears on your face. "is tsireya home?"

"no, she went out for a while. with that sully boy." he replied, smirking.

you laughed softly.

"well, alright, i'll come back later" you were already turning around when he grabbed your wrist, turning you to face him again.

"you can wait for her here. if you want, of course"

"really?" you grinned lightly. he just nodded and let you in.

only when you passed by his side he noticed the tears running down your bambi, round eyes.

"hey is everything okay?" he sat down as he spoke, motioning for you to sit down as well.

"yeah, yeah, why?" you tried to smile.

he gestured around his eyes and you realized you had entered in your rather vulnerable state.

"oh, yeah yeah yeah, i'm fine" you attempted to lie but your voice broke.

ao'nung knew about that guy you were seeing; he wasn't quite fond of him. after all those years you spent with tsireya, he couldn't help but develop a sense of protection over you. you didn't exactly keep this guy a secret, but hadn't told him directly. after observing him for a while, he realized the guy was a complete asshole. he wanted you to see that too, but you were rather infatuated.

"is it about that dickhead?" he asked, putting his arm around your shoulders; your skin turning to fire where his flesh met yours.

you nodded, a single tear rolling down your cheek. he immeadiatly brought you closer in a half hug, your head resting against his shoulder.

"he didn't deserve you. at all."

"gosh, i feel so incredibly stupid. you even tried to tell me!" you laughed under your breath. "but this is what makes us girls, right? we know what's gonna happen and yet we put love first. it's like our curse. making the same mistakes over and over again"

he laughed with you too, before moving to sit in front of you. he gently wiped the tears off your cheeks.

"don't cry about it, 'kay? i'm here for whatever you need" ao'nung assured you quietly.

you smiled at him.

"i'll be fine. he's just a guy" you laughed it off, not missing the way his hand didn't leave your cheek.

you had thought about ao'nung like that a few times, but you pushed away the thought every time. he was tsireya's brother, for eywa's sake. how would she react?

as a comfortable silence fell between you both, you glanced at his lips- you mean, his eyes. you could hear his breathing, unconsciously synchronizing yours with his. faces inching closer every second, losing control of what you were doing.

"fuck. i really want to kiss you" he whispered, lips so close they were fanning against the others'. "but it wouldn't be right. not now"

you nodded. you understood. you shared his worry. now wasn't the time; you had just called it quits with that boy- you hated how you weren't even a thing. it would seem like a rebound on your side and taking advantage on his, though that was far from the truth of your feelings, hidden, deemed as childish over the years.

as if on cue, you heard tsireya's happy and giddy steps. you and ao'nung scrambled away, not wanting to look suspicious to his sister. she entered the marui instants later, a smile painted bright on her face.

"well, well"

"someone had a nice time with forest boy" you teased.

"shut up!" she put on her best show to sound annoyed, but she was madly blushing and grinning.

"i, uh, i'll leave the two of you to catch up" ao'nung announced before walking out, not before directing one last glance your way.

"tell me everything!" he could hear you gushing as he walked away.

you didn’t expect to see him. then again, you hadn’t seen him for a couple of weeks, so it was only a matter of time before you ran into him.

“i guess it’s kind of our thing, huh?” you joked, a smirk appearing on ao’nung’s face. “finding you when i come looking for tsireya”

“yeah, uh, well, you wanna come in?” he asked.

your mind flashed you a memory of the last time you’d been with him. but that only encouraged you further to come with him.

"so. how have you been?" ao'nung said once you entered.

"good. better. much better" you looked at him as you replied, grinning a bit.

“that’s nice”

awkwardness settled between you.

“tsireya’s out with lo’ak again” he bluntly spoke.

“figured”

you fidgeted with your fingers nervously, debating wether you should bring it up or just forget about it. your eyes danced around the room, averting your gaze to the spot on the floor besides your feet. your eyes could have burnt holes in the spots they bored into from the harshness of your stare.

so focused were you on the texture of the floor or whatever, you missed how ao'nung snaked closer to you. you remained oblivious to how near he stood now until his fingertips ghosted over your shoulder, making you turn around to face him.

he brushed a loose strand of hair away from your face, his own face hovering over yours. your eyes shot up to meet his, eyes round, looking at him with longing and desire.

and then you weren’t able to hold the need for him any longer. you kissed him, and eywa did it feel good. your lips fit like pieces of a puzzle.

you gave him enough time to regret it, to back away, to tell you this was just a misunderstandment, and never speak to you again. but he did more than just stop you. he kissed you back, feverishly, the hand that had been gracing your cheek now cupping your face, pulling you even closer to him. warmth blossomed in your chest, sparks igniting from ao'nung's touch.

your hands steady on his chest, your heartbeat quickening as your lips parted slightly, allowing his tongue to slip inside, mouths exploring each other with the suppressed eagerness from all the years prior, which had remained hidden to the other. he traveled your body with his free hand, trailing every curve, sailing above your skin. ao’nung felt like he wanted to learn every bit of you.

the kiss soon went from sweet to needy and blazing, holding onto each other as if you were going to disappear once you pulled away. maybe for the sole purpose of contradicting this thought, ao'nung broke the kiss just for an instant, just to look at your messy state: cheeks flushed, lips plump, a blessed expression upon your features. but then he resumed the kiss, impossibly deepening it. you two were almost absorbed by your own bubble, away from everything else.

that's why, perhaps, you didn't sense the person approaching until it was too late.

"what. the hell. is going on here?" tsireya's voice shrieked, making you abruptly pull away to face her.

© heartcereql, 2023 || thank you for reading ! 𓆩 ♱ 𓆪

[inthedoghousern]

okay

pt II of just this once

pairing: oscar piastri x fem!driver!reader

summary: aftermath of you and oscar's night together in monaco, you made a deal, only once. would you keep it?

contains: allusions to sex, angst.

1.2k words

a/n: quick one. my original ending to 'just this once'. it can be read with pt1 or alone, whatever y'all want.

The sun was rising, and the room felt even warmer with its light. You and Oscar slept in a tangled mess of body parts. Both of your bodies were against each other, with not a single inch separating the two of you.

You wake up first. Your head lightly pounding from the night before. Your mouth goes dry when you look at the other person in your bed. Of course, you remember what happened last night, but now what?

It is only now that you realize the gravity of what had happened last night. You had just slept with Oscar Piastri, your lifelong rival, in a hotel room far from home.

And now, the two of you were tangled together in the bed. Your body was stuck right up against his. You start to slowly pull away from him, and he starts to stir, waking up as well. A little sleep still lingered in your eyes, you didn't know what to expect when he woke up. Would he be his normal self? Would he be shocked? The two of you had just done something incredibly intimate, so you weren't really sure what his next move would be.

Oscar was stirring as well, his eyes fluttered open and traveled to yours. He was not going to be the first to speak though.

“Um- good morning,” you say. His arms are still around you. "Morning..." Oscar says, his voice was still raspy from last night. He didn't take his arms away though, he didn't want to just yet. He was in a bit of a daze trying to comprehend all that went down last night. He was wondering how much of it you remembered, or if you regretted any of it.

You pull away from each other, and you sit up and forward rubbing your face. Oscar sits up too, leaning back against the headboard, looking at you. He was looking from your back to the rest of your body, there was no rush in the movement, it was like he was trying to analyze everything...like he was trying to grasp the full extent of what happened last night.

You clear your throat and pull the covers back, and swing your legs to the side of the bed. You should get up and get yourself situated. Oscar should get up too. Oscar should go back to his hotel room. You're about to get up, but you become hyperaware that you have no clothes on and that his eyes are on you. After last night you shouldn’t care, but it’s different now. You were both hungover, you had just slept together, and you were also naked in front of one another in this room.

You get up and start pulling out clothes from your suitcase, getting dressed quickly. You should shower but you want him to leave first. Oscar shuffles out of bed as you get changed, collecting his clothes from last night and putting them on.

Now that the two of you are clothed and no longer tangled together on the bed it was like you were trying to pretend last night never really happened. Oscar was about to start walking to the door when he paused for a second, "When should we talk about it?"

“We made a deal. One time. We don’t need to talk about it because it’s never happening again,” you tell him. A pit in your stomach growing.

He sighed when you answered, his body language telling the truth of how he really felt about the situation. "Yeah, never happening again." He tried to tell himself just as much as you. But his gaze told another story, he didn't want this to end yet.

His eyes were wandering for a second as a moment of vulnerability came on his face. "Just let me ask you one thing."

You stay silent for a moment. You are scared of what he’s going to say. “Alright,” you answer.

"Did you mean it when you said it was just a one time thing? Did you really mean it?" Oscar asked you. His eyes met yours for a moment before he sighed. "Because if you did, then I'm gonna go. But I just need to know for myself."

“Did I mean it? Yes. Is that what I really want? I don’t know," you tell him. It’s the truth. Yes, what happened between you and Oscar can never happen again, but it was also something you can’t say you regret.

He sighs when you respond, you couldn't give him a direct answer and it didn't surprise him at all. He just nodded as he processed your answer. He wanted to say something, to ask one more thing, to be more vulnerable with you at this moment.

"Did you at all, even slightly, enjoy last night?"

“Of course,” you say softly.

You could tell that this caught him slightly off guard, he wasn't expecting you to be completely honest with him.

"Yeah, right, it wouldn’t have even happened if- yeah, sorry. Then that's all I needed to know I guess. I'll leave." He rambled, putting up a facade of indifference.

“Okay.”

You can’t say goodbye. Just okay.

He looks at you with a bit of longing, he wants to say more to you. But there was a certain amount of shame when it came to admitting how he felt about the whole situation. So finally he just sighed, "Okay."

He returns the same answer before slowly opening the door and walking out.

-

part III- 11:45

[yuza-fantasies]

Afraid of You: Mezo Shoji

Pairing: Mezo Shoji x Shy GN Reader

Word Count: 1035

Summary: You have a crush on Shoji, but you're too scared to approach him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shoji had always harbored a deep-seated belief that his appearance would scare people away. From a young age, he experienced the uncomfortable stares and judgmental looks from others due to his facial features. In fact, he once unintentionally made a girl cry simply because of how his face looked. It was this incident that led him to adopt the habit of wearing a mask, a protective shield to conceal his perceived flaws.

You and Shoji had developed a strong bond as good friends, spending a significant amount of time together. When you finally mustered the courage to confide in your best friend, Ashido, about your secret affection for Shoji, she immediately became determined to bring you two together. Despite Ashido's enthusiasm and encouragement, you found yourself paralyzed with fear and unable to approach Shoji. Consequently, you resorted to avoiding him altogether.

"Why are you avoiding him?" Ashido inquired during one of your study sessions in her dorm room.

"I just can't bring myself to talk to him," you replied dejectedly. "Every time I try, the words fail me. It's easier to stay away."

"You need to tell him," Ashido exclaimed passionately, closing her textbook to focus on the matter at hand. She embarked on a heartfelt lecture about the importance of communication and the necessity of confessing your feelings to Shoji. However, your mind was consumed by the overwhelming fear of rejection that would surely accompany such a confession.

Unbeknownst to you, Shoji had begun to worry about your sudden avoidance. Although he outwardly displayed a calm demeanor, deep down, he feared that you had distanced yourself from him due to his dissimilar appearance. The truth was, he felt an affectionate fondness for you, and he had longed to express his feelings. But with you actively avoiding him, his attempts remained fruitless.

"Perhaps they have found out my feelings for them and this is their way of rejecting me," Shoji contemplated, his thoughts echoing through the silence of his room. "Or perhaps they're simply afraid of me." He gazed at the ceiling, deliberating whether he should reveal his true face to you and whether you would accept him as he truly was.

The following day, as you walked to class, Shoji mustered the courage to call out your name. However, you chose to ignore him, unable to confront the torrent of emotions that would flood over you if you were to face him directly. Yet, as you moved forward, a firm grip clasped your wrist, forcing you to acknowledge Shoji's presence.

"Y/N, why are you avoiding me?" he asked with genuine concern evident in his eyes. You attempted to respond, but anxiety silenced your voice, rendering you speechless.

"Is it because... of my appearance? Are you afraid of how I look?" Shoji inquired hesitantly, his voice laced with vulnerability. "If being around me makes you uncomfortable, then I will respect your decision and leave you alone."

"N-no, it's not like that," you stammered, gently pulling his hand away from your wrist. "I... I'm sorry, Shoji. Can we talk later, please?"

With those words, you turned and walked away, leaving Shoji standing there, his voice calling out to you, pleading for an explanation. The tears that had welled up in your eyes finally spilled over, your emotions too overwhelming to contain.

"I'm sorry, Shoji, but I simply cannot find the words to speak," you confessed silently. "It's not that I am afraid of you, but rather, I am afraid to open myself up to you."

After school, Shoji sent you a text message, expressing his desire to speak with you in person if you felt comfortable doing so. Uncertain about how to respond, you sought Ashido's guidance.

"What should I say, Mina?" you asked your pink-haired friend, seeking solace and advice. "I want to meet him, but I am consumed by fear."

"You have to talk to him," she insisted, her voice brimming with encouragement. "He wants to have a conversation with you, and this may be your chance. Go and talk to him!"

With a sigh, you mustered your courage and replied, agreeing to meet Shoji on the school roof in ten minutes. Determined to confront your fears, you embarked on a journey to the rooftop, where Shoji awaited your arrival. Step by step, you approached him, your heart pounding in your chest.

"Y/N, you haven't answered my question from before," Shoji said softly, his eyes searching for answers. "Are you afraid of me?"

Meeting his gaze, you sensed the genuine hurt in his eyes—the vulnerability he rarely displayed. This was the first time you had witnessed Shoji in such a state. His eyes spoke volumes, reflecting his concern and the emotions he had kept hidden for so long.

"It's okay if you're scared," Shoji continued, taking a deep breath. "But I want you to know something—I like you. More than just a friend. These past few days, I've been struggling to tell you, but you've been avoiding me. Please, tell me why. Why are you avoiding me?"

Stunned, you absorbed his words. All this time, your feelings had been reciprocated? As you peered into Shoji's eyes, you gathered the strength to respond, "Shoji, I'm not afraid of you. I'm terrified to speak because... because I like you too, Shoji! More than just a friend."

"Y-Y/N, you can talk to me anytime," Shoji reassured, his voice filled with tenderness. "I'm sorry if I made you feel this way, but will you be my significant other?"

"Of course, Shoji!" you replied, unable to contain your joy. You embraced him tightly, feeling the warmth of his tentacles enveloping you.

"There's one more thing I need you to know," Shoji murmured, his voice tinged with vulnerability. Slowly, he lowered his mask, unveiling his true face to you. "I have worn this mask for a long time, fearing that my appearance might cause someone sadness. It's alright if you change your mind after seeing me like this."

"Shoji, I could never judge you based on your appearance," you responded, tears of gratitude welling in your eyes. "Thank you for showing me what lies beneath the mask. I love you, Shoji."

"I love you too, Y/N."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Repost from my wattpad.

[room-surprise]

Hey! Fun question, how do you think an in-canon kabumisu confession would go? People keep portraying mithrun as blunt and straightforward about their relationship, but would he be scared to tell kabru in the chance that he'd say no and leave? Is the desire to just be in a relationship with kabru, or is the desire of not wanting to scare him off greater than that? I'm so starved on the lack of post-canon kabumisu content, they make me go crazy

As usual, I'll try not to go into TOO much detail because then I won't be motivated to write fic about it... and I AM planning to write a post-canon Kabumisu fic anon, so don't worry. I'll get there eventually :3

They make me go crazy too 😔

I think Mithrun's a complicated guy with complicated emotions. Even when he was "empty" in the dungeon he actually showed a lot of feelings - smug satisfaction, annoyance, anger, even a little bit of subtle happiness.

So while I DO think he will still be blunt in general, I also think it's a mistake to assume that means he doesn't feel things and won't have anxieties and insecurities just like any other person.

Mithrun used to be WILDLY insecure, and jealous, and paranoid. He just stopped caring about anything, but if, like the end of the manga suggests, he is going to try to START caring again, he will then start to have feelings, too.

I think Mithrun is intensely aware of his own "undesirability", that's one of the reasons he's BEEN so depressed. Most of his self-worth before the dungeon hinged on being "better" than his brother, and better than other people. Then he looses that (or maybe he was never actually better at all!), so what does he have left? And now his youth is gone too, he's middle-aged and lost his "best years" to depression. He's disabled, he's scarred, he's a bastard that nobody wants.

It's a pretty huge fall from "most eligible bachelor in the empire"!

So I think no, he won't just bluntly tell Kabru that he likes him. It will take Mithrun awhile to realize how he feels, and once he does, he'll be afraid to reach out, so he's going to do what I call "playing silly little elf games". He's going to try and flirt via writing letters and sending gifts, to hint that he likes Kabru.

Luckily for Mithrun, Kabru also knows how to play Silly Little Elf Games (he's an Olympic champion), so he picks up the signals and starts reciprocating, though he's also uncertain and worried that he's misunderstanding. Captain Mithrun couldn't be flirting with him, could he? But... what if he is?

(I will go into Kabru's feelings at a later date anon i promise.)

I think the thing that will ultimately push Mithrun to act is the fear that he'll miss his chance. Mithrun realizes Kabru is a limited time deal that he can only enjoy for the next 60-something years, and he wants every minute of that time for himself, no matter how much it will someday hurt to lose Kabru.

And he also knows that Kabru is very handsome and charming, and he can't expect Kabru to wait for Mithrun to get himself figured out. Someone else will swoop in and snatch that man up, so Mithrun has to hurry.

ALL OF THAT SAID... I think their confession is a lot less of a confession, and much more "we have both been picking up these signals of interest for months/years, and finally one of us pushes it a little bit further than we've ever pushed it before and we acknowledge the unspoken thing that has been growing between us."

Maybe it's a hand resting on someone's leg, or a gentle touch on the arm. Maybe it's leaning in so their shoulders touch. Maybe it's looking into each other's eyes a little bit longer than normal.

Probably it involves both of them admitting "Spending time with you makes me happier than anything else in the world. Whenever we're apart all I think about is when I'm going to see you again. I spend hours composing letters to you in my mind. I want us to spend our days together, no matter what shape that takes."

It's very vulnerable and scary for both of them, and I think they're both DEEPLY relieved after they finally get it out, and they don't get rejected. They know each other so well, and they're so good at reading people - they both thought that the other might feel the same way, but it's so scary to take that leap of faith and hope that they're right.

And just for the record, I think that Kabru worries about if Mithrun will be interested in sex or not, because sex is something that matters to Kabru, but what if Mithrun just doesn't have any desire for it?

And so before they get into a relationship Kabru has a long hard think about it, and decides that even if they never have sex, he wants to be in a romantic relationship with Mithrun anyway, because just being around him makes him feel happy, and understood, and like he isn't alone anymore. There's someone who sees him as he is, all the good and the bad, and says "I love you anyway."

And Kabru decides that he's willing to just jerk off for the rest of his life if that's the price of this relationship that he wants.

Luckily for Kabru, I think Mithrun does want to have sex with him, but I like to think that Kabru thinks through all the possibilities and decides that no matter what they end up doing together, being with Mithrun is worth it.

[diminshee]

"Will you be mine?" : Zoro x Reader // gender neutral ,, nsfw - cockwarming(?), slight praising + degrading (+ soft Zoro)

note — this was rushed so i'm not proud of this one (இдஇ; )..

"y/n.." Zoro's voice gruffly calls out, his single eye looking around the deck to find you. It was midnight, the rest of the crew is asleep apart from you and Zoro. You're on nightwatch, you're up in the crowsnest, unaware that the swordsman was trying to find you.

You and Zoro always had this close relationship, there wasn't a label yet. You both train together, hug, cuddle while he naps and he mostly sticks around to you. You were hoping to ask Zoro about your guys' relationship but everytime you try it fails to where he tries to ignore you.

He was giving mixed signals and it gave you mixed feelings. Because of that, you've been trying to avoid Zoro for awhile to which the swordsman obviously noticed when you didn't come down to cuddle with him in his napping sessions.

It was weird, You can say that. But you do admit that you were starting to feel bad for ignoring Zoro, he was a bit sensitive and you've seen his vulnerable side.

You then perk up when you hear the hatch of the crowsnest opening. From there, you see Zoro climbing up. When he set his gaze on you, his expression softened for a quick moment before closing the hatch. He stood in front in front of you now, staring down at you. The corner of his lips twitching slightly.

"Y/n.. there you are." Zoro smiled a bit, setting down besides you. "look.. i've been meaning to talk to you."

At his words, you began to pay for attention as you avoided looking at his general direction. You felt his calloused hand place on your shoulder, it was a rough texture from all his training and fighting but it was warm and comforting. "I'm... I'm sorry for avoiding your question." You hear the swordsman mumble, letting out a sigh.

"It's just that.. I like you, okay? I don't know how to put it out or show it in public... Even though it might be obvious to the others by now, especially since that shit curlybrow nagging me on how i haven't been treating you right. I hate to admit it but.. He's right, i haven't been treating you right." He finally confessed. He stopped for a moment before continuing. "I hope it isn't late but.. i miss having you to nap with me. I want that again... so, please, will you be mine, y/n?" He asked softly and sincerely, his tone was soft and low, as if he was afraid he'll shatter you if he spoke too loudly like you were a piece of delicate glass. You could tell Zoro was trying not to show the tremble in his voice. He was getting vulnerable with you again.

He felt safe with you, yet he was so scared.

You took a moment, you finally turn to look at him and pulled him into a tight hug. He flinched but soon held you tight, he buried his face into your neck to take in your scent that made him feel so fuzzy and light with emotions.

"I love you, y/n." He muttered, still taking in your scent. "can we nap again..?" He hesitantly asked. You let out a small laugh and granted your permission. "of course, Zoro."

Zoro gave out a smile, one that he only ever shows to you. Your positions changed to the usual napping position you both do with Zoro spooning you with his big, muscular arms wrapped around your torso. His head was still huried into your neck, inhaling your scent. He couldn't help but get a bit.. excited. He let out a soft murmur into your neck that sent shivers down your spine. You bit your lip, trying to stay composed and calm but you couldn't deny the growing heat within you.

Zoro noticed that. He gazed at you, his eye piercing into yours as you felt a smirk forming on his lips against your skin. "Y/n.. i feel a little cold.. do you mind?" He asked, voice holding a teasing tone as his grip around you tightened. With a shaky breath, you spoke. "I don't mind." You let out, breath hitching once more as Zoro slowly rubbed against your rear end.

You felt his bulge growing against you as he rubbed against you.

Zoro was teasing you to the point where you let out small whimpers. The sound was like music to Zoro's ears. A groan left his throat, his teeth grazing against the skin of your neck. His breath becoming hot and shaky, his teasing turning to humping against you like an animal in heat.

"Mmh... Fuck, y/n.. You're so hot like this, you make me fucking crazy." He groaned near your ear, his bulge becoming slightly wet due to his pre-cum already leaking. With a swift motion, his erection sprung free from his pants as he adjusted them. You felt his length against your rear end, it made you let out a low moan as you squirm a bit. "Zoro.." You panted out his name. That seem to flip a switch inside Zoro as he groaned more louder. "Yea? Say my name like that again." His tone changed, he was demanding as his arousal grew upon hearing his name roll out of your tounge in a manner that made him go berserk. He rubbed his erection against your clothed ass, teeth sinking on your shoulder that made you arch your back a bit.

"Zoro..!" You repeated, a bit more louder whilst his rough, warm hands rub against your sides before gripping on your waist. "That's it. Just like that." He praised, one of his hands going to the stretch band of your bottoms. With a swift motion, your lower half was now exposed, showing your arousal that made him grunt in pleasure.

"Look at you, so hot and horny for me. You like being manhandled by me, don't you? Such a whore." Zoro's voice grumbled out, biting your shoulder more as he teasingly rub the tip against your entrance. "I want you to feel me inside of you."

With his words, he slowly pushed himself in. He groaned out, not stopping until he was fully sheathed inside of you. He gave your shoulder kisses to ease the pain as you took in his huge, girthy length inside of you.

"You feel that? I know you can feel me. God, you're so warm and tight." Zoro lowly moaned out, his hand gripped on your waist tighter while the other fondled with your ass. He didn't move, he only stayed there as if he was only inside you to keep his cock warm. You felt him twitch inside you, making you tighter around his shaft. "Fuck..! Are you that desperate?" You hear him groan out against your neck.

"If you want it that bad, i'll fucking give it to you. Be a good whore and stay still, just take all of me in." He gave you what you wanted and craved for. his hips moved a bit, thrusting in and out of you slowly as he kept you in place while you squirm and whimper on him. The state he put you in turned him on more, he couldn't help but growl out with his thrusts slowly becoming faster.

"So warm.." Zoro groans out, his shaft sliding in and out of you as he took your whimpers and moans in. Just hearing you like this turned him the fuck on. The fire in him grew brighter, his hips thrusting into yours as he felt you squeeze around him so tightly.

A string of moans and whimpers left your lips, your hips grinding more against Zoro as he thrusts into you like an animal. He would then tease you by burying his cock deep inside you, his tip teasing your g-spot in a manner that tortured you sexually, leaving you craving for more.

"You're mine." Zoro's voice growled out possesively, his thrusts becoming more relentless as he held you tightly in place. You were twitching, squirming around inside his muscular arms. You were already leaking and Zoro didn't fail to notice. He smirked, his teeth biting your earlobe softly, his thrusts unwavering.

"Enjoying like the slut you are, aren't you?" He chuckled, slamming into you that left hin groaning a bit. "mmmhh Fuck, y/n.. if you keep squeezing me like that i'll cum. Do you want me to fill you up?" at his words, you let out a shaky yet desperate nod. You were desperate, wanting to feel his hot semen fill you up to the brim. He was fucking you dumb where you couldn't even use words while you moan and whimper. He loved that.

"Heh.. Can't use your words?" He teased.

Although, it wasn't long until Zoro was near to reach his peak. "I'm gonna cum.. Fuck, take it..!" With one last final thrust into you, you felt his warm semen filling you up. Zoro groaned out, moaning lowly against your ear as you both reach your peak.

The swordsman rode out his high, grunting softly as his hot breaths were felt against your sensitive skin. He let out a low chuckle, cuddling you more as he kept you there, not pulling out.

"let's stay like this... i love you."

[archivesofthevoid]

Would you mind if I request kissing headcanons for Rolan, Astarion, Gale, Wyll, and Halsin with gender neutral s/o?

It's currently 4 am as I'm writing this and pulling this all out of a magic hat (aka my brain) so HERE WE GO!!

Rolan: personally I do not know that much about him yet!!! Though I'm going to try based off the vibes of what I've seen from him. So I apologize here if it's ooc!! But I think his kisses would be very.. sophisticated? Like okay- they're so loving and soft. Light, too. Sometimes it feels like he's trying to keep them professional and away from prying eyes. HOWEVER there's some times when he's a bit more vulnerable and he holds you for a moment longer than he should. You both don't often get a chance alone together but when you do, he's grabbing you by your cheeks in the most gentle way he can muster and kissing you like it's his life support. Which sometimes, it kind of is.

Astarion: oh boy. See this guy? His kisses can vary. At first they were rough and seemed to be fueled purely with carnal desire. However as time goes on and the two of you become more entrapped with one another, you notice he's become softer. More delicate. He likes the kiss to last and for it to linger on your lips after it's over. Other days when he's feeling down and vulnerable because of everything going on (specifically with Cazador) - those moments where his head gets to him and he's scared he's going to lose you or get taken back?? He kisses you so desperately. He'll cling to you and press into your lips. It's full of despair, desire, and need. Belonging. He needs that reassurance that you're here and that you're real. That you'll stay. Please don't ever go, he needs you so bad even if he sucks at showing it.

Gale: at first his kisses were unsure. With the whole loyalty to Mystra thing he's got conditioned into his brain - he felt like he was betraying her. Though as time went on he realized he actually loved you. Whatever he felt with Mystra he realized wasn't genuine. Well at least not on Mystra's end. But with you, it's different. He knows you love him and care for him. You don't see him as some prize to flaunt off to others for power. So after awhile, his kisses become sickeningly sweet. Sometimes they're rushed if you guys are quick to set out on the road again. Other times he will let them linger. Or sometimes he'll give you multiple kisses in one go which leaves the both of you giggling at the end. He's such a hopeless romantic that once he actually has you the way you want him, he's completely whipped for you. He's the type of man who loves with his whole being like it's breathing.

Wyll: he's actually such a big sweetie that it definitely shows in his kisses :(( /pos!! They're never long and don't often linger. Very light and sweet like warm sugar. Sometimes he doesn't even kiss you on the lips. His go to places most of the time is on your wrist, your knuckles, your forehead or your cheek. He really loves to grab your hand and press a kiss into it while smiling at you. His eyes hold so much warmth in them that you could feel like you're drowning if you're not careful. He's so caring and gentle. He's the type to cover you head to toe in tiny little kisses if you'd let him. Sure, kisses on the lips are nice but he wants to cherish every part of you he can.

Halsin: another man who worships you and the ground you walk on. Most of his kisses are on your forehead, cheek, or shoulders. He tends to your wounds first out of everyone in the party and spends the most time on you. Even if you're all healed up, he's still there - telling you how strong you are for standing your ground with such a violent battle. He leaves kisses in his wake wherever he can. His kiss to your lips though? They're so brutal. It's like his carnal beastly urges come out to play when he kisses your lips. Sometimes, much like Astarion, he uses his teeth. He'll nip at your lip and plead for you to just let him devour your mouth with his own. He doesn't often give these types of kisses because quite frankly he holds himself back. If you ask though he'd be more than willing to kiss you like that more often.

[lavieverdezoro]

"Will you be mine?"

Zoro x fem! Reader // gender neutral,, nsfw - cockwarming, slight praising + degrading + soft Zoro

"y/n.." Zoro's voice gruffly calls out, his single eye looking around the deck to find you. It was midnight, the rest of the crew is asleep apart from you and Zoro. You're on nightwatch, you're up in the crowsnest, unaware that the swordsman was trying to find you.

You and Zoro always had this close relationship, there wasn't a label yet. You both train together, hug, cuddle while he naps and he mostly sticks around to you. You were hoping to ask Zoro about your guys' relationship but everytime you try it fails to where he tries to ignore you.

He was giving mixed signals and it gave you mixed feelings. Because of that, you've been trying to avoid Zoro for awhile to which the swordsman obviously noticed when you didn't come down to cuddle with him in his napping sessions.

It was weird, You can say that. But you do admit that you were starting to feel bad for ignoring Zoro, he was a bit sensitive and you've seen his vulnerable side.

You then perk up when you hear the hatch of the crowsnest opening. From there, you see Zoro climbing up. When he set his gaze on you, his expression softened for a quick moment before closing the hatch. He stood in front in front of you now, staring down at you. The corner of his lips twitching slightly.

"Y/n.. there you are." Zoro smiled a bit, setting down besides you. "look.. i've been meaning to talk to you."

At his words, you began to pay for attention as you avoided looking at his general direction. You felt his calloused hand place on your shoulder, it was a rough texture from all his training and fighting but it was warm and comforto. "I'm... I'm sorry for avoiding your question." You hear the swordsman mumble, letting out a sigh.

"It's just that.. I like you, okay? I don't know how to put it out or show it in public... Even though it might be obvious to the others by now, especially since that shit curlybrow nagging me on how i haven't been treating you right. I hate to admit it but.. He's right, i haven't been treating you right." He finally confessed. He stopped for a moment before continuing. "I hope it isn't late but.. i miss having you to nap with me. I want that again... so, please, will you be mine, y/n?" He asked softly and sincerely, his tone was soft and low, as if he was afraid he'll shatter you if he spoke too loudly like you were a piece of delicate glass. You could tell Zoro was You could tell Zoro was trying not to show the tremble in his voice. He was getting vulnerable with you again.

He felt safe with you, yet he was so scared.

You took a moment, you finally turn to look at him and pulled him into a tight hug. He flinched but soon held you tight, he buried his face into your neck to take in your scent that made him feel so fuzzy and light with emotions.

"I love you, y/n." He muttered, still taking in your scent. "can we nap again..?" He hesitantly asked. You let out a small laugh and granted your permission.

"of course, Zoro."

Zoro gave out a smile, one that he only ever shows to you. Your positions changed to the usual napping position you both do with Zoro spooning you with his big, muscular arms wrapped around your torso. His head was still huried into your neck, inhaling your scent. He couldn't help but get a bit... excited. He let out a soft murmur into your neck that sent shivers down your spine. You bit your lip, trying to stay composed and calm but you couldn't deny the growing heat within you.

Zoro noticed that. He gazed at you, his eye piercing into yours as you felt a smirk forming on his lips against your skin. "Y/n.. i feel a little cold.. do you mind?" He asked, voice holding a teasing tone as his grip around you tightened. With a shaky breath, you spoke. "I don't mind." You let out, breath hitching once more as Zoro slowly rubbed against your rear end.

You felt his bulge growing against you as he rubbed against you.

Zoro was teasing you to the point where you let out small whimpers. The sound was like music to Zoro's ears. A groan left his throat, his teeth grazing against the skin of your neck. His breath becoming hot and shaky, his teasing turning to humping against you like an animal in heat.

"Mmh... Fuck, y/n.. You're so hot like this, you make me fucking crazy." He groaned near your ear, his bulge becoming slightly wet due to his pre-cum already leaking. With a swift motion, his erection sprung free from his pants as he adjusted them. You felt his length against your rear end, it made you let out a low moan as you squirm a bit. "Zoro..." You panted out his name. That seem to flip a switch inside Zoro as he groaned more louder. "Yea? Say my name like that again." His tone changed, he was demanding as his arousal grew upon hearing his name roll out of your tounge in a manner that made him go berserk. He rubbed his erection against your clothed ass, teeth sinking on your shoulder that made you arch your back a bit.

"Zoro..!" You repeated, a bit more louder whilst his rough, warm hands rub against your sides before gripping on your waist. "That's it. Just like that." He praised, one of his hands going to the stretch band of your bottoms. With a swift motion, your lower half was now exposed, showing your arousal that made him grunt in pleasure.

"Look at you, so hot and horny for me. You like being manhandled by me, don't you? Such a whore." Zoro's voice grumbled out, biting your shoulder more as he teasingly rub the tip against your entrance.

"I want you to feel me inside of you."

With his words, he slowly pushed himself in. He groaned out, not stopping until he was fully sheathed inside of you. He gave your shoulder kisses to ease the pain as you took in his huge, girthy length inside of you.

"You feel that? I know you can feel me. God, you're so warm and tight." Zoro lowly moaned out, his hand gripped on your waist tighter while the other fondled with your ass. He didn't move, he only stayed there as if he was only inside you to keep his cock warm.

You felt him twitch inside you, making you tighter around his shaft.

"Fuck.! Are you that desperate?"

You hear him groan out against your neck.

"If you want it that bad, i'll fucking give it to you. Be a good whore and stay still, just take all of me in." He gave you what you wanted and craved for. his hips moved a bit, thrusting in and out of you slowly as he kept you in place while you squirm and whimper on him. The state he put you in turned him on more, he couldn't help but growl out with his thrusts slowly becoming faster.

"So warm.." Zoro groans out, his shaft sliding in and out of you as he took your whimpers and moans in.

Just hearing you like this turned him the fuck on. The fire in him grew brighter, his hips thrusting into yours as he felt you squeeze around him so tightly.

©lavieverdezoro blog

[theadorableapprentice]

Nightmare

MC x Solomon Warnings: Hurt/Comfort Word Count: 1709

A/N: The song is Nightmare by Set It Off. It's one of my favorite songs and made me think of Solomon awhile back. I'm glad I finally got to write this story. It took a different direction than I thought it would, but I still like how it turned out. I hope you enjoy!

They're coming, creeping from the corner

And all I know is that I don't feel safe

Solomon doesn't talk about his past much. You knew this. Of course you knew this. You’ve tried so many times to get Solomon to tell you stories from his life. He would brush off your requests with some cheeky one-liner and that was that. So, you didn’t get to know the real reason why he’s always on edge. “We’re humans in the Devildom, MC. Why wouldn’t I be?” That’s his response whenever you asked him about it. Nevermind that Solomon managed to beat Diavolo when he was mad and actively going for Solomon’s throat. Nevermind that he walked from the Human World all the way to the underworld and then back. Nevermind that he’s fought a war against the Devildom. 

The only thing that you really know is that Solomon doesn’t feel safe. You’re actually not sure if you’ve ever seen him truly relaxed. Sure he puts up this laid back facade, but you know him better than that. Which is why you’re not entirely shocked by the sight before you upon coming home.

I feel the tapping on my shoulder

I turn around in an alarming state

But am I losing my mind? I really think so

Not a creature in sight

Solomon whips around when he hears the door click, eyes wide with fear. He’s scared of something. You’re not sure what, but he is. 

“Sol… Is everything alright?”

“MC, I-” He cuts himself off and looks over your shoulder and then peers out the window.

But, what you don't know

Is that my breathing gets faster and so does my heartbeat

I wish this was over, I wish that this was a dream

He can feel his heartbeat speeding up. It’s getting hard for him to breathe. This hasn’t happened in awhile. He’s usually good at hiding these things from everyone. But not now, not from you. 

“MC, I don’t-” He closes his eyes and tries to take a deep breath. Anything to get this to stop. For things to go back to normal, where he could pretend everything was okay.

“Sol, look at me. Can you look at me?”

I created a monster, a hell within my head

With nowhere to go, I'm out on my own

Oh, I'm so scared

Solomon opens his eyes and there are tears forming. You’ve never seen him cry before. In fact, any vulnerability is a rare sight. It’s becoming more frequent, but the moments are few and far between.

“Here, now put your hand here,” You say, guiding his hand to your chest. “Take a deep breath with me. In.” You take a deep breath in and watch as Solomon tries to do the same. He shakes his head, unable to get a deep breath in. “That’s okay. Just keep your hand here. Can I try something?”

I created a monster, a beast inside my brain

With nowhere to go, I'm out on my own

My mind impaired

Awake me from my nightmare

Solomon nods, tears falling from his eyes. His voice cracks. “Please.”

You move your hands to his face and gently pull him until your foreheads are touching. Your thumbs lightly stroke his cheeks, wiping away the tears that have fallen. “Okay, I want you to close your eyes and focus on my voice. Can you do that for me?”

Solomon nods and closes his eyes. 

“Okay. I want you to think of the place you feel the safest. Think really hard about it. Do you have a place in mind?”

Solomon nods again, breathing slowing ever so slightly.

“Okay, can you describe it to me?” You ask.

“It’s your bedroom when we sleep together in there,” He responds. This makes your heart swell. The place he feels safest is with you.

“Can you tell me specific details? I want you to make this as real as possible in your mind.”

“The blankets are soft. It’s warm because you’re next to me, but it’s not too hot. The room is dark, except for the moonlight that comes through the window.” Solomon’s breathing is slowly returning to normal as he describes your room to you. 

When he finishes and his breathing returns to normal, you take him into a hug.

“Thank you, MC,” Solomon says, hugging you back. He buries his face in the crook of your neck and you feel tears starting to fall from his eyes.

“I’ll always be here for you Sol. Can you talk to me about what’s going on?”

Wait, something doesn't feel right

No, something seems wrong

And I've been feeling this way

For far too long

“I don’t even know where to start. There’s just so much.”

You slowly rub his back, hoping to comfort him even more. “How about you just tell me one thing. One thing that’s upsetting you.”

“Okay. I don’t feel safe, MC. Something feels wrong but I don’t know what it is. It’s like this feeling that something terrible is going to happen or that something is off.” 

“Solomon, you’ve lived a very long life. And I’m sure you have been through a lot of things that would traumatize most people. That’s going to have some lasting effects on you. Let me try something that works for me. Can you tell me what terrible thing you think is going to happen that has you so upset right now?”

“I’m scared I’m going to lose you again, MC. I’m scared that one day you’re going to go out and you won’t come back.”

Your heart breaks for him when you hear that. “Okay, let’s break this down. Why is that a realistic fear?”

“You’re a human in the Devildom. Most demons want to eat you.”

“Okay, and now, why is that fear unlikely to come true?”

“You’re a very capable magic user. And you have a lot of powerful beings watching over you.”

“I don’t think Diavolo would take very kindly to a demon trying to harm me, do you?”

Solomon lets out a tearful laugh. “No, probably not. Seeing him genuinely angry is a rare sight, but I know that whatever demon tried to hurt you would be in for a real bad time.”

“Okay, see? While there is always a chance I’ll get hurt, it’s very unlikely. I don’t think many demons are stupid enough to face the wrath of some of the most powerful beings in the three realms. Now, is there anything else that’s upsetting you?”

As my vision gets blurred, my skin's getting colder

Appearing young, while I'm growing older

I collapse to the floor and scream

"Can anybody save me from myself?"

“I feel trapped, MC. I stay at this physical age, but I grow older every year. Every so often I have to move around, pretending to be a new person. It’s hard to keep any human friends because they all grow older and I don’t. One day you’re going to grow old too. But I will always stay just like I am. Most people would kill to be immortal, but it just feels like a curse anymore.” More tears fall onto your shoulder.

“I can’t imagine how lonely that would be. But, I want you to remember that you do have friends. The brothers, for one. I mean, remember Asmo and Mammon fighting over what Asmo should get you for your birthday? They care about you. And, while I might not always be around, you still have me for quite awhile. And who knows, maybe I’ll stumble upon some ancient artifact that turns me immortal. With how things seem to work for me, that is a possibility.”

Walking to the ledge, I find myself looking down

Frozen still with fear, now I'm plunging to the ground

If only I knew how to fly

Then I could convince myself this isn't my time to die

Solomon laughs again. “Yeah, it is… But I wouldn’t wish immortality upon you MC. It’s truly not as great as it seems. It’s… It’s hell. You watch everything change around you as everyone you know and love grows old and dies. And then you have to start over somewhere else.”

“I have plenty of loved ones who aren’t going to grow old and die. You, for one.” You give him a comforting squeeze and continue to rub his back.

“Yeah, but what about your human family? What about your human friends? Watching the people you love die isn’t an easy thing.”

“No, but that’s a part of life. And I’m sure staying the same age while they get older is hard, but I have you guys. It wouldn’t all be bad. Getting to stay with you forever wouldn’t be bad.”

“Staying with you forever sounds nice… But I still wouldn’t wish this upon you. I don’t want you to turn into what I have.”

“What, a wonderful person who protects humanity? Someone who would do anything to help the ones he loves? That sounds like a pretty good person to me.”

“You have too high an opinion of me, MC.”

Instead, I'm rocketing faster and faster

I dive-bomb to the floor

And when my body crashes to the pavement

I'm right back where I was before

“No, I think my opinion of you is just right.”

Solomon lets out a shaky breath as a few more tears fall. “Everyone calls me shady, some even call me evil. Your opinion-”

You cut him off. “My opinion matters more than a bunch of demons who don’t actually know you. Have you done shady things? Sure. But don’t forget the ones calling you shady are literal demons. They don’t get an opinion when they’re worse than shady themselves. You’re doing great Sol. Despite what you and everyone else thinks, you’re doing great just how you are.”

I created a monster, a hell within my head

With nowhere to go, I'm out on my own

Oh, I'm so scared

Awake me from my nightmare

Solomon sniffles, pulling his face back up and wiping the rest of his tears. “Thank you, MC. I love you and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

You smile at him. “I love you too Solomon.”

[mareagirls]

Hi! If you’re ever in the mood to write a sickfic I like this idea.

Peter and reader are on a date, but reader feels nauseous. But, reader doesn’t want to tell Peter because a: they’ve both been super busy lately between Spider-Man duties and college and/or work and b: because even if reader won’t admit it, being vulnerable and being taken care of kind of scares them. But Peter finds out/figured it out and wants to help and fluff ensues.

Anyway, it’s just an idea. No pressure to complete (obvi)! Hope you’re doing well and drinking water! <3

~🥧

 hey pie anon! i hope this is okay and i'm sorry it's months late! I forgot it was in my drafts :')

You realise something is wrong when you’re only a quarter of the way through your pizza and Peter is over half way through his.

You feel sick. Or at the very least least like you might be - nausea brewing uncomfortably in your stomach as you take small bites of your food.

Your boyfriend chats away opposite you, blissfully unaware that you've started to feel queasy, so you plaster a smile on your face and swallow hard. The two of you have been incredibly busy for the past few days between your work and his vigilante duties, and the last thing you want to do is ruin the first peaceful moment you’ve had together. You can tell how much Peter has needed a little normalcy. The thought of ruining it because you’re feeling a little off feels incredibly selfish.

Beyond that, you're not used to letting people take care of you, and though Peter has told you countless times that he likes doing it, you can never quite dislodge uncomfortable feeling of vulnerability that blooms in you whenever he does. Letting yourself be loved, allowing Peter to look after you when you're not feeling too well - they're processes. You've been trying to work on them for a while, but it's difficult. It always has been.

You’re just trying to rub at your chest discreetly when Peter looks up at you from his almost empty plate. 

"Everything okay?" 

"Yes! Yeah, everything is fine." Your reply comes out wobbly and you only realise afterwards that you’ve made too much of an effort to sound alright. You smile at Peter through gritted teeth and try foolishly to convince yourself that if you pretend the nausea doesn't exist, it'll go.

Peter doesn’t look like he believes you for a second.

"Are you sure? Do you not like your pizza?" He pushes his own plate towards you as if it's the easiest thing ever, offering you his last two slices. "Here, baby. We can swap."

The tender easiness in the gesture very nearly makes you want to cry. Peter Parker might just be the loveliest boy you’ve ever known.

"No, Peter it's okay. My pizza is good,” your hands shifts slightly to rub against your abdomen, Peter tracks your movements cautiously. “I'm just kinda full I think.”

Your boy raises an eyebrow at your barely eaten pizza but nods, never one to push you for explanations.

"I'll ask for the bill and a box to take the rest home. We can have the ice cream in the freezer when we get back. How's that sound?"

The thought of ice cream makes you feel queasy, but Peter seems so hopeful and he's looked so tired and sad in the past few days that you cant help but indulge him.

-

Once you’ve gotten the bill and packed your leftover pizza into a takeaway box, Peter takes your hand in his and guides you out of the restaurant.

New York City in the evening is a sensory nightmare, but your nausea does abate slightly thanks to the fresh air. You catch Peter looking down at you and stamp an awkward smile on your face.

"Home?" He squeezes your fingers gently.

Your stomach churns at the thought of having to go so far, but Peter is looking at you like you've hung the moon and the stars - the journey home feels a little more bearable with him by your side.

"Yes please."

"You okay to walk?" 

"I'm fine, Peter. I promise."

"No, you're not, baby. And that's okay, you don't have to tell me what's wrong if you don’t want to. Just let me take care of you."

You sigh, resigned. You don't even know why you tried to hide it from him. Peter can quite literally hear your heartbeat, of course he was going to clock that you're not feeling too well.

Peter keeps his body angled towards yours as the two of you walk, and you soon realise that he's shielding you the best he can from the light around you and all the bodies rushing past. It's a small gesture, one that he might not even realise he's doing, but makes your chest flutter pleasantly

Then, just as you think that maybe the nausea is easing up, another wave of discomfort overwhelms you and you stumble.

Fortunately Peter catches your wrist just before you can do any real damage, balancing your pizza box in his free hand. He helps you back up easily, his fingers a warm pressure on your skin.

"Woah. Hey, hey, sweetheart. Let's just stop for a second, hm?"

You are mortified, and very sorry about how inconvenient you're being but when Peter pulls you to a stop, you oblige. Tears swarming in your eyes, you make one last ditch attempt at snuffing out the discomfort by pushing your face into the soft sweatshirt your boyfriend is wearing. 

You feel him go still and for one horrible millisecond, you think he's going to push you away, but then Peter’s body relaxes and he presses you against him softly, almost as if he's afraid to hurt you.

You mumble into his chest. "I'm really sorry."

"It's okay, you don't have to apologise," his lips are soft against the crown of your head. "You're good. Let's take a moment, alright?"

You nod, sniffing slightly.

"We're nearly there. Just a few more blocks to go." 

Something like a whine gets stuck in your throat and Peter coos gently, a hand coming up to cup the back of your head. “I know. You’re alright, honey. I've got you.”

You straighten up after a few seconds, aware that this is not at all what he signed up for when the two of you left the house, and Peter frowns a little.

"You can lean into me, baby. You're not a bother."

And you do know, because he's said it to you countless times before in different variations. I like being there for you. You don't have to apologise. I'm here for you, it's kinda in the boyfriend job description.

Peter doesn’t have to repeat himself. When he nudges you closer, you lean in.

-

Once you’re at home, Peter lets go of you carefully, never taking his eyes off you as he reaches into his jacket pocket and pull out the keys to let you both in.

He places the pizza box on the microwave in the kitchen before following you through down the corridor, a hand ghosting the small of your back. When you reach the bedroom, he dims the lights.

You sit on the bed gingerly. Peter sits next to you.

"How are you feeling?" Peter asks.

You’re quiet for a while. Then, a small admission;

"I feel really nauseous Peter." You avoid his gaze. "It started in the restaurant. I don't... I don't know what's wrong."

Peter is silent for a beat. You take it as a sign that you've said something wrong.

"It's fine though. I'm sorry for ruining the meal. I know you were looking forward to this." your voice is hoarse. "I’m really sorry."

When you muster the courage to look up at him, Peter looks horrified.

"Baby, what are you talking about? You didn't ruin anything. It's okay." His hand comes up to brush at your jawline. "I got to spend time with my best girl. I feel like the luckiest guy alive."

You think he might be exaggerating just to make you smile, but there's real sincerity in his tone. "Do you want pain relief? Some ginger tea, maybe?"

Right now, you only want Peter.

"Can we just cuddle for a bit, please?"

"Oh, my girl." Peter is already pulling you down so that you're lying against his chest. "C'mere."

[cherry-holmes]

GLIMPSE OF A LIFE WITH JAVIER PEÑA

Chapter 14

MAIN MASTERLIST

Summary: Just when you think everything was over and you can live in peace with your Javi, your perfect love story seems to crumble at your feet.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Previous chapter

Pairing: Javier Peña x Female Reader

Word count: 3.6k

Warnings: ANGST AND LOTS OF CRYING😭 Mentions of physical damage. Mentions of kidnapping.

A/N: I’m sorry for this chapter, I hope you don’t hate me😭 but stay tuned for next chapters☝️🤓

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You just wanted to go home, but you knew you couldn't. It wasn't safe anymore. Now you had to hide in a new apartment, guarded by police officers for only God knew how long. It made you feel more comfortable, though, but it felt awkward.

You had spent hours surrounded by agents, doctors, and many other people doing their job to help you out of that horrible situation you had been in. They asked you a lot of questions: What did they tell you? Did you know about Javi and Los Pepes? What was your relationship with Diego Ibarra? What did you see or hear about anything they could use for their investigations? The questions from the doctors were the most uncomfortable: Did they abuse you? The answer was no, fortunately, but they insisted many times as if you were hiding it.

You didn't stop asking for Javi almost every fifteen minutes. The last time you saw him was when he came back from that house and hold you between his arms and let your cried out loud on his shoulder. Then, he said he needed to go to the base and you needed to get proper medical attention. He promised he would be with you as soon as possible, and reclutantly left your side. It had been twelve hours since then.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You knew those bruises would stay for a while. They were everywhere: on your cheeks, your arms, the back of your neck, your torso, and your legs.

Looking at your reflection in the small mirror hanging on the bathroom wall, your eyes watered as flashes of what had happened crossed your mind. It had been only hours since you were rescued. You were still sensitive and scared. Uncertainty flooded as the grayest of clouds above your head. However, the thought of Javi, his protection, and company made you feel that there was hope. You were sure that both of you could make it out of this mess together. You loved him and you knew he loved you too.

As if your thoughts had summoned him, Javi's voice carried through the apartment, calling your name. You wrapped your semi-naked body with a towel before you told him you were in the room.

Javi entered the room, his eyes filled with concern as they met yours. His gaze softened as he saw you, vulnerable and marked by the ordeal.

You ran into his arms, wrapping yours around his torso, pressing your cheek against his beating heart.

"It's okay, baby, I'm here," he held you tightly, his voice a soothing balm in the midst of chaos. "I'm sorry I left you alone for so long, but I had things to fix at the base," he added, his hands brushing your hair still wet from the shower.

"Now you're here, amor, that's all that matters," you promised. Then, as if a rock had fallen on your stomach, you remembered Javi had been shot. You stepped back, your hands tracing his sides. "Javi, you've been shot... what happened?"

He took your hands between his, pressing his lips softly on your knuckles. Then he looked into your eyes.

"Get dressed, baby, we have to talk." Although his eyes tried to stay warm for you, there was something in his tone you didn't like.

He waited for you on the lone sofa in the living room, and after you changed into one of his shirts and your pajama pants, you joined him.

"Listen," he said, a hint of nervousness in his voice you couldn't help but notice. He was trying to find the right words, but he was struggling. You reached out for his broad, calloused hand to help him relax at least a little.

"You can tell me anything," you promised. "I don't care what you had with Los Pepes or what you did to get Diego out of our lives. I'm with you, Javi, no matter what."

Javier exhaled deeply, his gaze fixed on yours, appreciating the unwavering support reflected in your eyes.

"It's much more complicated than that, and I don't want you to be involved," he said, his voice steady but laced with tension.

You could see the anxiety in his eyes, causing your stomach to knot with anticipation of the worst. Something in his gaze conveyed the seriousness of the situation. It felt as if he was about to reveal he had a target on his back and someone had already pulled the trigger.

Javier took a moment, his eyes scanning the room as if searching for the right words, a sense of dread creeping over you.

Finally, he spoke, his voice measured but filled with urgency. "You remember Los Pepes, right?"

You nodded, your heart sinking at the mention of the ruthless group.

"I've been working with them for almost a year now, exchanging information, infiltrate their ranks," he explained.

The revelation hit you like a ton of bricks. Your mind raced, trying to comprehend the implications of Javier's involvement with such a notorious group.

"I didn't want to tell you or Steve, to involve you in all this," Javier continued, his voice strained with guilt. "But now that Messina knows, things have become even more complicated."

A wave of fear washed over you as you realized the magnitude of the situation.

Javier added, "I convinced Messina not to report my situation to the Embassy or the DEA. At least not for now. I'm gonna try to fix this, enough so I can avoid as much retaliation as possible. I'm preparing something."

"What is it?" You wanted to know. You knew that whatever he was planning to do would work.

Javier's eyes bore into yours, his expression a mixture of determination and concern. "I'll convince Judy Moncada to testify against the Cali Cartel in exchange for protection in the U.S.," he explained. "It's risky, and I can't guarantee what will happen, but that's my best card."

Your mind whirled with fear as you realized the dangers involved in infiltrating such a ruthless organization.

"I won't let you do this alone," you declared, your voice trembling with emotion. "We're in this together, Javi. Whatever happens, we face it together."

You expected him to relax, to soften his gaze and thank you for being supportive, but it didn't happen that way. On the contrary, he looked like he couldn't even look at you, and he was struggling to say the next.

"There's something else you must know," he began, his voice heavy with reluctance.

Your heart sank as you braced yourself for whatever revelation was to come.

"Messina is sending you back to Mexico with your family," he said, the words landing heavily in the silence of the room. "After you were kidnapped, it was decided that the DEA won't risk your life anymore."

Javier's words hung heavy in the air, the weight of their meaning pressing down on you like a suffocating blanket. The thought of leaving everything behind, of being separated from Javier and the relationship you had built together, filled you with an overwhelming sense of loss and despair.

"What?" It was all you could muster for a moment, as you stared at him with disappointment and confusion. A wave of heat ran through your body, your eyes burning with tears. "No... Javi, I won't leave you... Please, you have to talk to Messina, she can't..."

"The decision is made, I don't and I won't appeal to the contrary," he interrupted you, the firmness in his voice resolute. "You're leaving first thing tomorrow morning."

Javier's agreement with the decision felt like a betrayal, a sacrifice made for the greater good but at the cost of your relationship and your consent. Tears welled up in your eyes as you struggled to come to terms with the harsh reality of the situation. You knew deep down that Javier was right, that it was the safest option for you. But accepting it felt like surrendering to defeat, admitting that your life would never be the same again.

"You can't be fuckin' serious," you uttered, your voice trembling with disbelief and a hint of defiance.

Javier remained steadfast, his expression a mix of empathy and resolve as he absorbed your reaction. He reached out, his hand hovering uncertainly before gently cupping your cheek, his touch a fleeting reassurance in the midst of uncertainty.

"I wish there was another way, amor," he murmured, his voice tinged with regret. "But for now, this is what's best for you, for us."

"How?" You dared, but he didn't answer. "I won't leave, Javier, not without you," you insisted.

"Please, don't make this harder than it already is," he said. His voice remained tender, but you felt a burning pang of betrayal and disbelief in your chest, prompting you to move out of his reach. You could see the pain in his eyes at your rejection, but you were too blinded by hurt to care.

"I don't care if Messina fires me or locks me in here for the rest of my life, I'm not leaving you," you said firmly. Javier could see the determination in you, and he knew you wouldn't give up easily.

"You can't stay even if I change my mind, which I won't. The Colombian Embassy is canceling your visa tomorrow." Your heart ached at his words as the reality of your impending departure settled in.

"I can't believe you're getting rid of me that easily, Javier," you lamented.

"No, don't say that," he intervened, his voice filled with sorrow. "I'm not trying to get rid of you," he continued, his voice soft but resolute. "I'm trying to keep you safe. I can't bear the thought of anything else happening to you."

"But I don't want to leave you," you confessed, tears welling up in your eyes. The prospect of being separated from Javier filled you with an overwhelming sense of loss and loneliness.

Javier's expression softened, his gaze filled with love and understanding. "I don't want you to go either," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I can't risk your safety anymore."

"I'm not your responsibility. Anything that happened was your fault," you said, you said, your voice quivering with sobs.

"I'm not your responsibility either, bonita," his fingers wiped your tears, holding your head with his broad and caring hands. Your heart ached at the thought that it might be the last time you'd feel his protective touch, his hands over you taking care of you as only he could.

As his words sank in, you realized the depth of his sacrifice, the pain etched into his features mirroring your own. Despite the heartache and uncertainty, you knew that Javier's decision was driven by love, a selfless act to protect the person he cherished most in the world.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Neither of you slept that night. Javier and you lay on the unfamiliar bed, your head on his chest, his arms around you holding you tight.

For moments, you cried, and he could feel your tears falling on his skin like acid. He felt guilty for the times he put your life in danger and for hurting you with his stubbornness and the stupid things he sometimes said. And now, for leaving you.

He was afraid. His heart and stomach felt like they could turn over at the mere thought of his plan not working. If he doesn't make a deal with Judy Moncada or if the American government doesn't accept his redemption, he could go to jail for treason and conspiracy with the enemy.

He didn't care of loosing his job, but he feared loosing you forever. It had to work, and then he had to catch Escobar. Once he finish his duty, he planned to made you his and never let you go again.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••���•••••••••

"I'll come back for you," he vowed, his voice trembling with emotion. "I promise."

You couldn't contain your broken sobs, your nails clenching his shirt. "I'm gonna miss you, mi amor," you promised. Your hands cupped his head, your thumbs brushing his mustache, his lips, your eyes memorizing his features and the warm brown of his gaze. He was so handsome, so right, so familiar. "Please take care of yourself, Javi," you begged, because you knew he wouldn't. "Eat well, sleep well, and protect yourself. I'll be waiting for you."

"Don't worry about me, bonita," he whispered, planting a kiss on your lips.

Your flight was announced once more, and reluctantly, you stepped back. You found Steve behind Javi, looking sad too, as he had to let his own wife go as well. Connie had left thirty minutes ago with Olivia, for their safety.

"Take care of you both," you said to him.

With a heavy heart, you turned away from Javier, trying to imprint every detail of his face in your memory. The airport terminal seemed to blur as tears clouded your vision. Steve placed a comforting hand on Javier's shoulder, silently offering his support.

As you walked towards the departure gate, you couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness gnawing at your heart. Every step away from Javier felt like a step into the unknown, leaving behind the life you had built together. The flight attendants ushered you onto the plane, but your mind remained anchored to Javier, to the home you were leaving behind, to the uncertain future that lay ahead for your relationship.

As the plane ascended into the sky, you gazed out of the window, watching the city lights fade into the distance.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

TWO WEEKS LATER

Returning home felt strange, nothing like you imagined it would be. You called up your sister Silvia from the airport after landing in Monterrey. She was surprised, having no clue you were on your way back. You didn't have the chance to let anyone know—it all happened too fast, and it hurt too much.

Staying at Silvia's place for a couple of days, you spilled everything to her and your other sister Sara. The kidnapping, leaving Javier behind, and how worried sick you were about him. They cried with your story, they couldn't believe their little sister went through all that.

You kept it all from abuelo because you didn't want to stress him out. When you finally saw him, once your bruises disappeared and you made up a story about your suddenly return, you put on a brave face, hiding the turmoil inside.

And your mom? Well, you didn't tell her a thing. You couldn't deal with her judgmental comments about you and Javier, a guy you well knew she never approved of anyway.

Every day felt like a struggle without Javier around. His absence was like a missing piece of your heart. You only managed to talk to him a few times, for a few fleeting minutes, during your first two weeks back home. You always ended up crying, and he always sounded stressed and off. But you held onto the hope of seeing him again, believing that love could conquer all...

Until it didn't.

You were playing with your nieces and one of your newborn nephews when your brother-in-law arrived home with the newspaper of the day. He looked worried as he asked your sister Silvia to speak with him. You didn't understand why yet, but something inside you had a sinking feeling that something bad was about to happen.

Your sister handed you the newspaper, and as you scanned the headlines, your heart sank like a stone. The Miami Herald had posted an interview with a narco leader, Judy Moncada, confessing Javier's relationship with Los Pepes.

The words blurred together as you read, and a sickening feeling settled in the pit of your stomach. It was all over. You knew that with this revelation, Javier's future hung in the balance, and the threat of prison loomed large over him.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you realized the gravity of the situation. The life you had known, the love you had shared, everything was crumbling around you. You felt a wave of helplessness wash over you, unable to protect Javier from the consequences of his actions.

Your mind raced with a thousand thoughts, but one thing was clear: you had to find a way to help him, to support him through this nightmare. But how? The uncertainty gnawed at your insides, leaving you feeling powerless and lost.

You immediately dialed his number, but he didn't answer. So, you called Connie. She had also seen the news and told you Steve had called her to inform her that Javier had been sent to Washington. You asked her for a number, and a couple of hours later, she called back to give you the number Steve had provided.

"Peña," he answered the second time you tried to call. His tone was clear, exasperation and fatigue weighing heavily on his shoulders. He sounded curt, as if he had never spoken to you before. But he didn't know it was you.

You stayed silent for a moment, unsure how to begin. You took a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. "Javier, it's me," you finally said, your voice trembling with emotion. "I just saw the news... I can't believe what they're saying about you."

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line, as if Javier was processing your words. When he spoke again, his voice softened slightly. "I'm sorry you had to find out like this," he said, his tone heavy with regret. "But I can't explain everything right now."

Your heart sank at his words. "Javi, please," you pleaded, the desperation evident in your voice. "Tell me what's going on, what can I do for you? I want to help you."

There was another pause, longer this time. You could almost hear the internal struggle in his silence. Finally, he spoke, his voice weary and resigned. "I appreciate your offer, but there's nothing you can do for me," he said.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you listened to his words. You wanted to argue, to fight for him, but you knew deep down that he was right. You were powerless to help him from afar.

"Javi..." you started, but your voice trailed off, choked with emotion. "Connie told me you are in Washington. I can flight tomorrow, I want to see you..."

"That won't be necessary," he intervened.

"Please, I don't want you to be alone. We're going to figure this out. Together," you insisted, desperation started to overwhelm you.

"Listen, I'm sorry, but I don't think its a good idea," he replied dryly, punching you like a ton of bricks.

"What are you talking about?"

"I couldn't fix it," he said, his voice trailing off. The weight of his admission hung heavy in the air, leaving you reeling with shock and disbelief.

"What do you mean, you couldn't fix it?" you pressed, your voice trembling with a mixture of frustration and fear. "Javi, you can't give up like this. We can find a way through this together."

"I've made mistakes, and now I have to face the consequences," he admitted, his tone laced with regret. "But I don't want you to be dragged down with me."

Your heart ached at his words, the reality of the situation crashing down on you like a tidal wave. You wanted to reach through the phone, to hold him close and tell him that you would stand by his side no matter what. But his resolve was unwavering, his decision final.

"Javi, please," you pleaded, tears streaming down your cheeks. "Don't shut me out. Let me be there for you."

"I can't ask you to do that," he said, his voice filled with anguish. "It's not fair to you. You deserve better than this."

"But you're worth it," you insisted, your voice breaking with emotion. "You're worth every moment, every risk, every sacrifice. I love you, Javi, and I'm not giving up on us."

There was a long, agonizing silence as Javier grappled with your words, his own emotions in turmoil. Finally, he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. "I love you too," he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. "But I'm going to jail for my mistakes. It's over, and I'm sorry."

"I can wait for you, Javi," you confessed, because it was true. You could wait for him an eternity if was necessary.

He let out a shaky breath, overwhelming for your fidelity and love he feel he didn't deserve. You were so pure and sweet and perfect for a guy like him. "I can't let you throw your life away for me. You're young and very beautiful, I can't tie you to a man who is not free. It's selfish," as he spoke, your heart heavy with sorrow and anguish.

"Don't say that, Javier... please, don't do this to me, to us," you begged, desperately trying to make him understand, but the decision was made.

"Just... take care of yourself, okay? That's all I ask."

And with that, he hung up, leaving you alone with your thoughts and a sense of helplessness that weighed heavily on your heart.

The line went silent, the weight of his words hanging in the air like a heavy shroud. You knew that Javier was trying to protect you, to shield you from the fallout of his actions. But you also you knew that this was only the beginning of a long and difficult journey.

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