I feel like I'm sinning. Or cheating on my fictional husband for another fictional man. A married fictional man, oh my god I'm a fictional homewrecker... I don't wanna be crushing hard on Kent, playing you right by doja cat on repeat thinking sinful lustful things regarding Kent. My poor malewife Shane...I'm so sorry Shane. I love them both so much.
By all bloody accounts, that should not have worked.
Constantine will repeat.
That, by all accounts, should not have worked.
The warehouse was shitty. The materials were shitty. The summoning circle was shitty. The chanting was shitty. The magic was shitty.
By all accounts, the summoning should not have worked.
So Constantine couldn't give much of a shit about really stopping it because the summoning was so shitty it shouldn't have worked by an means possible.
So what. In the ever-loving fuck. Was the Ghost King, known tyrant of the Infinite Realms. Standing in the middle of the circle and not, last he checked, imprisoned?
That was another thing that he thought would have made it fail, actually. Because the Ghost King was incapacitated, asleep, gone, unavailable, nada.
So what. The fuck. Was he doing. Here?
Constantine knew the day was going to well to stay that way but wow. The universe loves to fuck him over, apparently.
Or the Justice League in specific.
Or both.
Doesn't matter, because now he has to bullshit his way out of this or get ready to brawl for his life.
Good thing he's good at both of those things, then.
Mostly the bullshit-
"Phantom what the fuck are you doing-" Constantine wheezed out, watching one of their newest members-a ghost going by the name Phantom-fly over in front of the known tyrant and-
Oh.
Oh, holy shit this won't end well.
Ghost King.
Phantom. A ghost.
Well, shit.
This is fine. This is totally fine. He just needs to bullshit his way out of this or face two powerhouses.
This is fine.
He's done worse.
"Sup War" Phantom said, floating around the summoning circle that contained the king of all ghosts like it wasn't a problem. "Didn't expect to be seeing you here."
"Ward." The Ghost King inclined his head slightly, eyes trained on Phantom. "I would not have come here if not for Time's insistence and I have been meaning to..." The King paused, hands gripping and ungrasping the pommel of his sword. "...Check in... on you."
"Aww, were you worried about lil old meeeee?" Phantom, ever the little shit and holy shit did Constantine want to go over there and shut him up, said. Floating around until he was staring upside down in the Ghost King's face. "Didn't know you were so soft, pa."
"I am not soft." The King huffed, flame dancing at the edges of his hair. "I was merely... concerned. Over how you would be acclimating to your circumstances. This world's League of Justice covers far more than your small haunt."
"Weeeell, it's not that bad honestly." Phantom admitted. "Haven't really done anything too big yet just some smallish things here and there. So, you know." The ghost boy shrugged, swinging back in the air to turn upright and crossing his legs. "Nothing too bad."
"Good." The Ghost King nodded, shoulders slumping so slightly that if Constantine wasn't looking, he wouldn't have seen it. "That is good. Yes. Good." The King slightly cleared his throat, grasping and ungrasping the pommel of his sword.
Silence echoed in the warehouse as the King seemingly looked for words to say.
"Would you..." He cleared his throat again, squaring his shoulders and standing up straighter. "Would you like to join me and Time for a meeting? It has been some time since you had last joined us." The King shifted slightly before adding. "Of course, if you're busy you do not have too."
"Sure." Phantom said, rolling back and forth in the air as he hummed. "Been a while since we've had some family time-"
"Family time?" Constantine caught someone-who he thinks was Green Lantern-say. He was just as bewildered.
"And if Time sent you here then it must be important." Danny paused before shrugging. "Or maybe not, can never know with him. But yea, sure. I'll come."
"Wonderful." The Ghost King smiled. Smiled. At Phantom. "Then I shall. Leave. Now. To do. Things. Yes. Things." The summoning circle flashed a familiar green, the same green when the King was first being summoned. "Goodbye, ward."
"You can call me son, you know."
The King paused for a moment, blinking slowly before hesitantly nodding.
"Then goodbye. Son."
The circle flashed and just like that. The king was gone.
"Kid. What the fuck." Whoever said- okay wait no that was Constantine, him. But yea fuck it he agrees with himself. "What the fuck." He repeated.
Phantom, the brat, only gave him a shit eating grin and a peace sign before disappearing on the spot.
Not to be a lost, forsaken fallen angel on main but what if I swore my eternal devotion to you in exchange for the privilege of sitting at your feet and resting my cheek on your leg, staring up at a being so majestic, so otherwordly and glorious and powerful, with eyes that radiate divinity of such magnitude it ignites my skin afire and make my heart bleed with religious ecstasy.
Haha, I'm kidding, of course! Of course I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm ki
biting my fingernails down to the quick as I see the rare post being like "you bitches and your measly $20 donations think that absolves you of anything think again" gaining notes because you are all worrying me rn by discouraging smaller donations and implying that donating is supposed to be 1) some kind of moral absolution and 2) that it only works in large sums
oh you know it's all latestage capitalism but the thing is. how are you supposed to be a person inside of this. a person trying to be a better version of yourself.
oh, you started working young, which was kind of hard, but it's just the way stuff works sometimes. and it was 2008 and your family couldn't afford heat. but it's fine, you grow a spine and get used to the professional world and besides it was the suburbs we're talking about here, like, your life could have been actually hard, so what if your father lost his job and you can't afford to move or turn the lights back on. and once you start making money, it's good. you keep doing that. because now they're relying on you. so you have to do that.
oh you were in thousands of dollars of debt at 17 years old so that you could go to school, because you have to go to school if you want to get a "real" job. you even did it "right", you worked parttime and attended community college before you transferred to a public school. you were under so many merit scholarships.
which is fine. you pick yourself up and you say like, okay. i graduated college. i'm holding down a job. i'm doing the Adult Thing, which looks and acts like this, according to all the books i've read. you start with the shitty job and then you climb that corporate ladder.
but the shitty job doesn't cover rent and you stretch yourself too-thin so you get sick. good luck with that. the shitty job no longer pays for your meals. everyone asks why you don't just move, but there's nowhere to move to. and with what money are you going to be moving? and then the loans come back, because they were never going to forgive them, because you were 17 and trying to do the right thing, which was stupid. people are now saying you shouldn't have even gone to school.
which is fine. but because you have no other option, so you do the shitty job, and you apply every day for like 5 new ones, and despite the fact everyone says "there's no one who wants to work!" it's actually just that nobody is fucking hiring so you can either work for 13 dollars an hour in the shitty place you know (where at least you have a passingly friendly relationship with the manager) or you can start from scratch again with a different 13 dollars an hour without knowing how much abuse from the new job you'll be taking.
and if you quit you lose your insurance. if you quit you lose your housing. if you quit, you'll be another burnout kid. the lazy ones. these assholes, look at them!
and you come home to a family dinner and you hear from your father the same old thing. how he worked hard at his job and yes it sucked for a while but he was able to provide for the family and then the house and the dog and the rest of barbie's dream vacation. how the insurance did cover some of it. how you just really need to start speaking up more in manager conversations so they know you're a go-getter. you want to tell him - did you know we're actually doing more now hourly than any previous generation? - but you can't remember where you heard that statistic, and you're far too tired for the fucking argument. and then he starts in on his usual bit. where's the house? where's your kids? where's your ambition.
the same job the same money the same hours doesn't do it anymore. the same nose-to-the-grindstone now just shreds your face off. there's no such thing as upwards mobility, not really. and as far as you're aware, the money certainly is not trickling. you do the soulless stupid shit you signed up for because you fucking have to or else you literally risk your life (food, the apartment, the insurance), but it's not getting you anything. you download the stupid "save more" app and you budget and you do every right thing and then the price of eggs is 7 dollars and you say - oh great! another thing i have to fucking worry about now!
and you go to your stupid job and everyone in your father's generation just tells you to be better about being an adult. they have their homes and their savings account and their bailout and they say. well have you tried not drinking starbucks. well your generation just spends too much on clothing. well you might just be too addicted to travelling. and you - because you need the job - you bite your tongue and don't say i am being held prisoner and you're suggesting i stop pacing my cell if i don't like the scenery and you don't say what the fuck do you think i've been doing with my money and you don't say i haven't spent a cent on something nice in literally forever much less coffee you arrogant asshole. you open and close your bank app and check your loans and check your credit score and check fucking zillow and ziprecruiter and apartments.com just one time more. and still they give you that demeaning little grin and say - see, what you need is -
what you need is for your meds to stop being so fucking expensive. what you need is for the housing bubble to explode into dust. what you need is for billionaires to choke on their wealth. what you need is actual help. what you will get is more economic advice from people who are older-and-wiser.
and above you, almost in a glimmer, you can see the wedged smile of your debt getting toothier, wider.
Words: 316
Summary: Daniel and his girlfriend break the news of their relationship and cause quite a splash with their age difference. (Social Media AU + Blurb) (Olivia Rodrigo as faceclaim and uses her music for reader’s)
Masterlist | Support Me! | listen, please verse
yourusername
liked by dan_nigro, etnews, landonorris, and 548,752 others
tagged: danielricciardo
yourusername: I learned from my mistakes and finally listened to them. And thank god they were right about you.
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danielricciardo: forever happy they were
⤷ yourusername: ♥️
user01: excuse me???
user02: Uh what?
user03: I’m sorry, Daniel??? What are you doing here???
user04: When did this happen?
user05: honey, no. he’s in his 30s
user06: well, already counting the days for this ending
user07: this is going to last all of a month
user08: yourusername please, no. Taylor went through this already. Learn from her mistakes!!!
user09: Am I the only one picking up on the lyrics from Vampire? We stan using our own lyrics to announce a relationship
user10: can’t wait for Dear John yourusername’s version. Gonna be a bop.
⤷ user05: I will sob if she covers that or would’ve could’ve should’ve when this ends.
⤷ user11: will simply die
user12: i’m an f1 girlie, but no. This ain’t it. Mick Schumacher is right there, yourusername. Or even Oscar.
⤷ user13: Lando is right there and you went for the nepo baby and a guy who already has a girlfriend
⤷ user12: he was an example! And nearly all the drivers are nepo babies in some way.
⤷ user03: so true
user14: how are you going to be such a big swiftie, know the woman yourself and still date a man older than you and believe it’s going to work out?
danielricciardo
liked by maxverstappen1, f1_wags, redbullracing, and 149,875 others
tagged: yourusername
danielricciardo: Over a year with this one and many more to come, Sweets
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yourusername: so many more to come
⤷ danielricciardo: 😉
maxverstappen1: never seen you happier
⤷ danielricciardo: love ya maxie!
user01: first daniel isn’t racing and now he’s taken??? 2023 is the worst
user02: daniel, she’s practically a child. What are you doing?
user03: weirdo
user04: she’s barely 20, what are you doing???
⤷ user06: yourusername is 22. She’s not barely 20
⤷ user04: yeah and she turned 22 like barely a month ago
user05: Daniel, not like this. I beg
user07: well him and pierre have something in common 😆
user08: she’s a baby!!! Get away from her!!!
user09: disgusting. Absolutely disgusting
user10: you guys are acting like she’s not an adult??? She’s literally in her twenties.
⤷ user04: and he’s in thirties. It’s fucking weird.
user11: jail, sir. You go to jail now.
f1_wags
liked by user01, user02, user03, and 2,451 others
tagged: yourusername, danielricciardo
f1_wags: New WAG Alert! Daniel Ricciardo just announced his relationship with Y/N, a three time grammy winner and musician.
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yourusername
liked by dr3wines, zedd, charlesleclerc, and 462,345 others
tagged: danielricciardo, dr3wines
yourusername: Congrats on the new wine, Danny! Little sad that it will no longer be for just us and our baths together, but happy to see it be shared.
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danielricciardo: thank ya, sweets.
danielricciardo: girl in the second picture is absolutely gorgeous
danielricciardo: bath tonight? I’ve still got a few bottles
⤷ yourusername: I’ll always want a bath with you
user01: why is his face on my feed
user02: throwing up at their comments
user03: well, this made me feel incredibly single
charlesleclerc: another great wine. Thank you for convincing him to let me try it before the launch!
⤷ yourusername: of course!
user04: leave him!!!! He’s using you for free promo of his wine!!!
user05: taylor must be pissed!
taylorswift
liked by yelyahwilliams, taylorlautner, yourusername and 2,873,421 others
tagged: yourusername, danielricciardo
taylorswift: Was a pleasant surprise to see these two when I stepped off stage tonight. Lovely to see you guys and will see you again for dinner next week!
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yourusername: not a single better performer. Watching is you magic every single time. And dinner will be fun!
danielricciardo: amazing show!
user01: taylor???
user02: i’m sorry what
user03: my 2023 bingo card is in shambles
user04: living rn. all of you fuckers were saying that taylor was disappointed and now look. She knew before we did
user05: some many clowns staying silent in these comments
user06: i was at this show!!! Wyd mean that yourusername was there?
daniel3.jpg
liked by landonorris, f1_wags, sourandguts, and 187,392 others
tagged: yourusername
daniel3.jpg: my two favorite subjects: you and us
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landonorris: do you two do anything but take baths for date night?
⤷ daniel3.jpg: we do. Just like our baths y’know
user01: um, i’m sorry. But that last photo
user02: lando is so real. This is the second bath photo we’ve gotten
⤷ user03: i don’t want that water bill
user04: gross
user05: how do you feel comfortable posting this with how young she is?
⤷ user01: you’re acting like she’s a kid. She’s in her twenties. Fuck off
user06: am i supposed to just act like i don’t know now that daniel likes car sex???
⤷ user03: i’m doing my best to not think about it
user07: daniel, thank you for feeding us.
—
Daniel could feel his grin grow, eyes softening, and his shoulders loosening all at the sound of her name. It takes him a moment to register the question, but when he does his grin grows more.
“I wasn’t really expecting it, you know? But she’s just great, I mean absolutely fantastic.”
“And the age difference isn’t an issue?” The reporter presses, though more gently than expected.
He scoffs, shaking his head. “No, not all. We want the same things in life and we both have very similar timelines for when we want them. We talked about all of that before we even went on a date and us wanting the same things, just helped finally take the next step.”
“And has the backlash affected you two at all?”
“No.” Daniel smiles at the confused look the reporter gives him, letting out a chuckle. “We knew it was going to cause a splash. We’ve never ignored the age difference between us. It’s there and ignoring it wouldn’t do anything.” He pauses, “I understand why people are so concerned, there is a history of large age gaps not being great. But there’s also a history of them working out great, I’ve got plenty of examples in my personal life. Besides, it's not really the age difference that matters, it’s where you're at in life and what you want to come next. We just happen to be in the same place and want the same things to come next.”
The reporter is looking at him stunned before they finally manage to find their voice. “Thank you, Daniel.”
“Of course, cheers mate.” He winks, before throwing up a hand to wave at the camera before he jogs off, already knowing that he’ll have a text or two from her calling him a sap over his lovesick grin. And he’d hate to not see them as soon as they came in.