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#i'm so fucking tired of the guilt tripping
thisismisogynoir · 6 months
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I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.
#was going to make a post about how much i hate that women aren't allowed to hate their oppressors but i decided to spin it into something#positive instead#this is supposed to be the feminist site that makes reddit mgtow piss their baby diapers so let's go back to despising men and not coddling#their feelings and let's dye our hair blue while we're at it#i am so tired of this new wave of guilt-tripping and gaslighting women who hate men and don't trust or want to be around them#i hate how we're made into villainesses or the problematic ones for not valuing them in our lives or for wanting to guard ourselves or be#safe from our oppressors#and i'm tired of people who don't know the first thing about feminism being like 'BUT THAT'S TERF RHETORIC WHAT ABOUT X MINORITY MEN'#guess what women can also be x minority that you're trying to protect the men of and we get to hate men too#trans women are included when i say women btw and trans men are included when i say men#if anyone has the right to hate men more than anybody else it's trans women esp trans lesbians because they put up with so much shit#from men that even cis women do not and they especially know how vile men are behind closed doors#so#terfs fuck off#radfems fuck off#and if anybody tries to make this post more appeasing to men or 'not all men's this post you are getting blocked and hit with a hammer#feminism#misogyny#sexism#patriarchy#tw men#tw rape#tw abuse#misandry#terfs dni#radfems dni#feminists need to go back to being scary and unpalatable for men none of this 'but some of them are good!' bullshit#men are entitled to nothing from us#and if you try to prove me wrong then you are just proving my point if you have nothing good to say then simply keep scrolling#ok? ok.
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nitewrighter · 2 months
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I feel like "Voting as harm reduction" falls under the category of, "Does your leftist praxis involve doing the dishes" like yeah no, it's not ideal but it's kind of bare minimum.
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one-winged-dreams · 3 months
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-drags my hands down my face-
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bbeeohazardd · 3 months
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idiots on the internet will see an entire group of victims call out their abuser and immediately go "c'mon guys call-out posts are bad :((((!!!"
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dredshirtroberts · 5 months
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pardon me while i emotionally process all over everything
Monday's just decided to kick off really hard - it's only the one thing, and it's just stewing in the back of my mind really hard and has been for *checks time stamps* 2.5 hours.
the important thing for me to remember is my dad (and my mom too) is not owed nor does he deserve an explanation for why i cut him and mom off. They truly honestly probably do not understand why I made that choice and frankly i think the fact that that hasn't changed over the past year is telling about how little they truly look at their own actions.
I want to explain but as soon as I put it into words, I can immediately strike myself down with the things that I know they will say. Any attempt at giving any explanation will be met with denial and that's just not a battle I feel like participating in.
I spent my whole life doing the emotional heavy lifting for my family of origin and I got tired of it. I'm struggling with the way my brain is wired because of it on a daily basis. This effects my whole life and my loved ones. And it didn't even do what it was supposed to when i developed the coping mechanisms.
I am really really cognizant of it because we've added a 4th person to our home and I'm scrambling to learn them and their tells and their moods quickly so I can be The Best At Helping in any situation. And I'm running into the wall of "that's not my job and is generally unwelcome unless asked for specifically" and so I am sat here taking in footsteps and movement styles and tones of voice trying to catalog them for future reference and not being able to do anything with that and knowing it's a flawed coping skill to deal with an unstable and volatile home life in my early childhood and I just want more than ANYTHING to be able to backsass and confront my parents about the way they've fucked me up and I can't.
i will type it all out and immediately change my mind - the words aren't correct, they can never be correct because the words don't matter. I could say everything perfectly and it wouldn't make any difference because my parents are dead set on invalidating any stance I make for myself and myself alone.
And also guilt tripping at the end of truly bad news (but like, neutral truly bad news) is not the way to get an explanation. It's a way to make me angry that I cannot begin the proper grieving process ahead of time because you're making a last ditch attempt to dig into me and not let me get away without an answer to the question you do not deserve to have answered. There was no indication they have looked at themselves and seen the way that they treated me was bad enough to cause my brain to splinter into multiple different people just in order to get by. They do not understand how much i wanted to die when I was trying to be a good kid for them. And they can't understand because they didn't pay attention then so me telling them about it now will look like i'm making things up.
They also have in the past given me large sums of money that I didn't have to work for dad to get, but it always came with other - more fraught - strings to deal with. and knowing that they bailed me out makes me feel super guilty for not giving them an explanation but it also really hammers home how much I just cannot say "you treated me badly" because they will throw that money in my face and say "we did everything for you, we deserve your love for the bare minimum of affection!" and money, btw, is not affection but they don't know that and now I have to figure that shit out.
and also we never repaired our relationship after I stopped working for him. I'm pretty sure he took my leaving the company personally - and he should, it was because of him I couldn't work for him anymore - but i know it's been worked around in their minds as my choice for completely unfathomable reasons that they clearly just cannot wrap their heads around because it doesn't make sense. why would i just cut them off, they've been good parents! why would I just leave the company, he was a great boss!
but they weren't, and he wasn't, and I suffered for it and I hid my suffering and because i hid my pain (as i was taught to do from VERY early on because i have been in pain MY WHOLE LIFE) they will never believe i was in it in the first place. because they don't believe me about my physical pains either and never have. why would they care about the mental and emotional pains?
they'd probably also come back with "Everyone's messed up by their parents, you need to just get over it" if I did bring up that their behavior towards me fucked me over. Because that's what they've said in the past - maybe not directly to me but in general.
a lot of my assumptions of their responses are based on what they used to just say. or continue to say. or how they'd say it. or how they'd talk about specific other people who i didn't think were bad people but boy did the way they talk about them make me go "well i guess i can't like that person now" and it isolated me from everyone. I had no way out, I had no escape i had no one but myself.
well and my internet friends but for a very long time I had a hard time remembering those were real fucking people on the other end of the internet connection, because i didn't have anyone else but the computer and those who i had a connection to through said computer.
oh and the reason this all came up?
my grandpa's going into hospice - he was in the hospital all weekend. he's the one with cancer that he stopped treating because the treatments were taking too much of a toll on his body. They had to cut their vacation short to take my grandparents back home and that same day my grandpa went into the hospital - dad made sure to mention the vacation to me, because i guess that's important. Didn't tell me any details on how the hospice thing is going to work (maybe he didn't know, maybe he didn't think that's important for me coordinating how to contact my grandparents to check in but whatever), but it was imperative that i know that their vacation ended early so they could take him home. And it was important to guilt trip me at the end to try and reopen communication with me on the email i deliberately did not give out to them, and they had to circumvent my blocks elsewhere in order to acquire because they didn't ask me for it.
I don't know how many people in my family know I'm not talking to my parents. I don't know how far that information has spread I don't know who leaked my email to them (that's a strong way of phrasing it but it feels about as violating, since i rock up into my inbox today and get jumpscared by my fucking dad's name and his absolutely abysmal choice in subject lines. literally could have said "grandpa update" or something similar. no he just said "Stuff" and then opens with "Hope you're doing well. Grandpa's in the hospital" and like????
he got lucky i opened it because i can see the message preview and knew it had important information. I might have seen it and gone "y'know, I don't care what he has to say about "stuff"" and hit delete and not known.
but like WTF dad. wtf.
go to hell, my dude. go to the absolute eebiest of deebies you cuntwaffle.
and take mom with you.
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((I want everyone to keep something in mind in regards to this blog and this is going to sound like a general, common sense post (and in a way it is) but it's also hi I'm in your house, whispering into your ear, telling you to call ga//amestop and ask them if they have bat//tleto//ads---, blah blah, basically it's personal too:
With me, regardless of blog or content, both communication and engagement go hand in hand. Communication and engagement needs to go both ways.
I love posting and reblogging memes and calls and will continue to do so but you folks---old mutual or new mutual doesn't matter---need to take the initiative yourself sometimes too. Be enthusiastic. Be spontaneous. Be proactive. I don't want to ask people to write with me all of the damn time nor do I want to chase after people all of the time because if I have to do that constantly over and over again it starts feeling incredibly one sided even when it isn't (because ofc people have lives, specific interests, anxiety, and whatever else which are all things that I deal with myself and I understand how that can stop someone from doing something, but that's how it feels especially over an extended period of time) and I don't need to explain how disheartening and draining that can be.
My seeming to interact with only one person---and for both of my blogs it's @magioffire and we all know that---it's not because we're being stuck up, elitist or whatever inane and incorrect term people want to throw at our feet it's because we engage and communicate. The give and take between us (both from an ic and ooc standpoint) never feels imbalanced or even transactional (I really hate using that word but, again I gotta stress this, that's how this makes me feel) and I have never felt like I needed to chase them down for an interaction or had to fight for a scrap of their time---which feels like a feat bc Blair has a lot of people scrambling at their door---and I cannot tell you how huge that is. That sounds like a huge sweeping thing to say, I know, but I mean it in all of the little ways too. I could post some stupid bullshit on here; not a starter or a meme just a little random muse thought or observation, and 100% of the time here comes Blair telling me what they think or adding on to it or just...whatever. They're here for both me and my muses for the big and small things, whenever I've asked and, more often than not, when I haven't (or couldn't) and that's incredibly important. It's that kind of stuff that makes what we have special and that's putting it super lightly. And yes, our relationship both as friends and as writers has developed over a long time, and we did click immediately that's true, but there's never been any doubt to cast upon the work and effort both of us have put forth.
And this post isn't to say that I'm demanding constant or immediate attention from you all---because, again, we all have lives, health issues, etc, etc, and all of that takes precedence over a hobby as I've said before and will say again and again---but....put some effort into it when you have the capability. Yes, like the calls that I post or send a meme in, absolutely, but also message me on your own and ask a question or shoot a muse a random prompt or just @ me in a post. Show me some enthusiasm and engagement on your end because right now it feels like I'm doing all the work all of the time and that's tiring. I'm tired of handing stuff to people all of the time---I'll keep doing it, obviously, because I need and want to engage on my end and love throwing stuff at people and providing opportunities---all I'm asking for is understanding and reciprocation.
If you can't reciprocate for whatever reason? Tell me.
If you're unsure about something, no matter what that something is? Tell me.
If you need help or even a specific kind of accommodation in order for us to start interacting or continue interacting? Tell me.
Don't just assume that I don't want to write with you or that you can't ask me for things. Don't assume that I'm being a snob or whatever else just because I seem to be paying attention to a certain mun full time because do you know what that actually is? That's friendship. That's effort. That's me giving back what I've been given. That's me reciprocating the enthusiasm, love and creativity that I've been handed, nothing more. There's nothing unobtainable or gatekeep-y about that either, you just need to be earnest and forthcoming with me and I can assure you that I'll return the favor in kind.))
#;;ooc: mun muttering#long post#this isn't a guilt trip of any sort (it doesn't even feel right calling it a vent tbh) I'm just being earnest in my point here#I'm tired of constantly pulling teeth (and this is an issue for both old and new mutuals rather than one over the other)#it just....doesn't feel good. there shouldn't be this much of a struggle for *any* of us#and are we all going to end up on the same level as what I have with Blair? No absolutely not and that's not what I'm asking for#the difference between them and you all is the lack of struggle and just...the earnestness to put it mildly#I'm honestly tired of people trying to give me shit for writing w/ them so much because??? why wouldn't I???#getting mad because I'm having a blast with someone who wants to write with me and actually does/tells me? that's nothing to be jealous of!#in fact you should strive for it yourself!! you could have it all too if you just crawled out of your own hole and thought for a second#I am incredibly fucking lucky and blessed to write with Blair; they've greatly influenced me both as a person and as a writer;#and every day I return that kindness and attention with more (hopefully) great content regardless of what or who we're writing#because they do the exact same thing for me every single day and that should be celebrated#stop wasting time trying to pit people against each other or feeling left out and actually step in yourself#I've said this before and I'll say it again: the main thing holding you back from interacting with me is you#so think about it and just...get over whatever is telling you that you can't and just do the fuckin thing. come have fun
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realdysmorphia · 2 years
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TOXIC FRIEND
My best friend, V, said i have too high standards because I don't wanna go to a Halloween rave in a tiny techno club full of old "friends" on drugs from weed to crystal meth and GHB. I told her that i don't want to have anything to do with the scene and the people anymore and that i feel extremely uncomfortable in those clubs and that i really don't want to go there this weekend. Now she's making me responsibility for staying at home because she doesn't have anyone else to go to this club and refuses to go to a non-techno Halloween party with me. This isn't the first time she's guilt tripping me.
I hate loosing good friends to bad personality development.
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bunni-bun · 3 months
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🚗🔪.
#without context the emojis are like vehicular manslaughter or something lol#but in reality they're there because i'm gonna strangle my other brother when i get home#my mom told me that he got into an accident earlier this morning#and he's fine and the car is alright for the most part like it's cosmetic damage#but apparently the other car is really fucked and my brother got a ticket#and like my brother is not an adult he's a kid so that's points and school and shit already#but fuck dude#my family can't catch a fucking break with vehicles this year this is a nightmare#first they stole our new car#then the other one got fucking totaled#then my car got fucked#then my stepdad's car started fucking falling apart so it's currently fucked#and now this#like please @ god and the universe please give us a break#this is so much money that family doesn't fucking have and it's just drowning us we can't dude#the police and insurance never help us they just raise our rates and pretend to file a fucking report#this is at least one of the reasons why americans can never fucking get ahead#how are you supposed to when the things that should be helping you are causing the fucking problem instead?#idk man i'm just so tired#i hate worrying even more about money and my family#i didn't meet my donation goal and i feel bad about that again#because i feel like i'm guilt-tripping people into donating#but then i'm stuck paying $1000 that i don't even have so like what am i supposed to do?#you try to do good things for a good cause but fuck dude#money is the root of all evil#cyndy speaks
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sonofshu · 4 months
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ozzgin · 8 months
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Santa baby are you really there?!
*hears a voice in my backyard*
FUCK SKIN WALKER
- you make Yan skinwalker i’ll do anything to get a skin walker to love me … yes I am 100% mentally stable
I'm not sure if you had something horror-esque in mind, because my immediate idea was Reader accidentally getting cursed and continuing her life completely unaware with a ""dog"" everyone is freaked out by, but she finds it cute. So more like dark comedy vibes. You be the judge. :D
Disclaimer: I have changed the name to Shapeshifter as to not delve into potentially offensive takes on native folklore. Thank you for informing my European ass.
Yandere!Monster x Reader [Shapeshifter]
On your last hiking trip, you've stumbled upon a helpless, lost dog. Or rather, it stalked you down to your cabin and spent the night in front of your window. You didn't have the heart to abandon the poor soul and so you brought it home with you. Strange things have been happening ever since and no one knows how to tell you that the monstrous coyote-like creature might be to blame. You're oblivious to everything.
Content: female reader, dark comedy, monster romance, reader is cursed and proud
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It wasn't your intention to return home with a new pet. Some might say it was written in the stars, this fateful encounter of yours. You had finished packing your supplies for a day-long hike, vehemently refusing to join your group of friends that would be guided around by a native. They’d warned you many areas of the mountainous forest were supposedly cursed or haunted, so you just scribbled the limits on your makeshift map and promised to stay on the main trails. After all, this was your chance to commune with nature. As the sun begun to set, you wondered if going by yourself was indeed a smart idea, given your lack of spatial awareness and difficulty to navigate maps. You flipped the piece of paper several times, deep in contemplation. Could it be that you’ve reached the forbidden lands? You quickly surveyed the area: based on the stuffed rag dolls hanging from old branches, and the animal skulls arranged in patterns among patches of burnt grass, it was very much a possibility. Perhaps the improvised slab that said “Stay away” in dripping crimson letters should’ve been enough of a warning, but you assumed they’d just been creative with trail markers.
You didn’t have the time to panic. Just as you were furrowing your eyebrows in a final attempt to decipher the map (at the time upside-down), your ears picked up a faint shuffle of leaves. Further away stood a dog, its glossy eyes fixated on your form. A lost puppy? It seemed to be on the larger side, but then again some breeds grow rather fast. You lowered yourself and patted your knees, whispering diminutives in an effort to call the animal over. It remained in place, staring quietly. Alright, then. You focused on finding your way back instead. Every now and then you'd turn back and see the dog, motionlessly eyeing you at a constant distance. Oh, dear. Was it lost? Frightening affair.
Back at the cabin you told the others about your discovery, with a hint of worry in your voice. You hoped the little pup had found proper shelter. You'd expected a similar reaction coming from your friends, but one of them suggested: "What if it was some shapeshifting monster? There's many legends and stories from the area." Everyone laughed and you joined hesitantly, mildly annoyed by the lack of empathy. That night you barely slept, twisting and turning under the heavy feeling of being watched. You woke up tired and nervous, dragging your feet towards the window for some fresh air. That's when you saw the same forest creature, fully awake and tall in its glory, positioned before your room. This was no coincidence. You had been plagued by the guilt of abandoning a vulnerable quadruped and you weren't about to continue as a passive observer. You strode out without a word and lifted the large dog with a huff, carrying it back in to figure out the transport logistics.
Thus started the unexpected companionship. To you, it's a lovely tale of two lost souls finding one another. Most people seem to disagree. Can you blame them? The rescued puppy you often speak of is, in the eyes of everyone else, a monstrous beast by all definitions. It resembles a coyote more than a dog, but even this description is too gentle. The fur is always raised threateningly and the protruding clusters of fangs remind one of the anatomical anomalies displayed in museums. The eyes, oh, the worst of all perhaps, bottomless depths that pull you in until you run out of air. The creature stares with the all-knowing gaze of a human. "Don't be rude", you snap at whoever dares to point these details out. "It must be a mixed breed or something."
Their persistence is truly ridiculous. You've even had guests run out in panic, claiming the dog stood on its back legs and whispered in a language unknown. Or that its shadow would morph into a grotesque man with claws and crooked antlers. Or that they've found it hunched over your sleeping form, its spine twisted outwards with jagged peaks breaking through the wild fur. Rubbish, all of it.
Strange things have been happening, no doubt, but your adopted fur-child has no blame to carry. You've been trying to distract yourself, going on dates and occasionally bringing potential suitors over. They all vanish overnight, nonchalantly leaving an empty, ruffled bed for you to wake up to. "Am I just unlucky?" You sigh, running your fingers through the coarse fur of your dog. It lowers itself under your touch, visibly enjoying the affection. For a split second, it glances out the window. By the time you come out of your depressed slump, the birds should've finished feeding on the remains. He made sure to tear and grind everything fine enough to not leave any marks behind.
That's how curses work, after all. He didn't expect, however, that you'd be utterly unaware of it. He has to give you the credit, not many people become stalked by an ancient curse and continue their life in blissful ignorance. Even more, for them to just casually pick up the haunting entity and bring it inside their home willingly...You're, uh, certainly a special one. Hence the change of plans. He was supposed to torment you into an early grave, but he's grown rather attached to your bizarre antics. And you do provide some damn good chin scratches. He's therefore satisfied with causing anguish and destruction to anything and anyone in your immediate vicinity instead. Since you've been complaining about the resulting isolation...
You wake up with a gasp, wiping your drenched forehead and checking the sheets. The dog is curled next to you, although its head is now tilted in your direction. "O-oh. It might be the loneliness talking...but I had the strangest dream." How troubling and embarrassing. Your beloved pet had turned into a deformed, monstrous man instead, pinning you down and hungrily grazing your skin with his sharp teeth. Your fearful protests eventually turned into shameless moans, your frail body at the mercy of the mysterious beast. It unfolded so vividly that your core feels sore. You stretch a sheepish hand towards your pet and abruptly stop halfway, noticing the marks diffused into your wrist, like violet smudges of watercolor. What the hell did you do last night?
The dog buries its head under the sheets and nuzzles its snout into your soft flesh. Heh. How many more disappearing guests will be needed for you to figure out your situation? He does find your obliviousness terribly amusing, as well as your willingness to clutch onto him despite his unsightly appearance. He was feeling particularly cheeky and thought of giving you a little scare, only to be once again taken aback by your neediness. He has to wonder who exactly is trapped in this situation, because your reactions to everything he does are frighteningly tempting. Maybe tonight he'll finally let you know, just as you're about to come undone beneath his heaving body. Something like, hmmm. "By the way, love, this isn't a dream." He could even add a little "woof" to tease you more.
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jade-curtiss · 1 year
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"you have to support corporations that "support" lgbt rights this time it's important, it's really important that you give importance to these corporations exploiting marginalized identities and experiences and never question weither or not the uproar regarding their marketing decisions might be fabricated to an extend. If you don't do that corps will stop doing whatever it is they're doing. Think of these soulless entities that are straight up exploiting a crisis for their own gain 🥺"
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f1fantasys · 21 days
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Another day, another shitshow, another fuck
Summary - post Monza angst and smut. FUCK YOU MCLAREN.
Warnings - filthy smut, fingering, oral, m and f receiving, blowjob, p in v sex, over stimulation, anal, squirting, swearing.
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Should you be surprised that it was another shit race for Lando? Where his team, and teammate fucked him over again? No.
Did it hurt? Yes.
It hurt like hell to see Lando put in that position again. Were Mclaren so fucking blind that they couldn't see it was ONLY Lando who was in contention for the driver's championship?
Yes, the team need each other. Every single person is a valuable part to winning the Constructors Championship, but to see the way they were literally shoving Lando and his chances of the dc to the side - you were no okay with.
Before the summer break, Hungary was a shitshow. His team manipulated Lando and guilt-tripped him to give up the win. Saying ''the way to win a championship is not alone'' He literally gifted his teammate a win, and had to take the brunt of it, losing out every precious point more he would have scored to close the gap to Max.
Now today, all Lando spoke about was getting a 1-2 for the team, yet his teammate only talked about winning. Where were the team orders today? Where did the words from Hungary disappear to?
All you know is that Lando deserved better, instead of getting fucked time and time again when he is driving at his best and doing everything he can to be the team player and fight for his own title which he's dreamed about every sine he was a little boy.
You couldn't attend Monza as you'd just flown back to Monaco from a modeling job in Brazil. You'd landed just in time to watch the race, screaming at the tv and heart aching for what Lando had to go through because of his ''team''
When the race ended and you saw how defeated Lando looked, you'd sent him a message saying you were home and that you loved him, knowing a simple message like that would calm him down and tell him you're there for him.
A few hours later, as you were just chilling in the living room watching some tv, you heard the front door open. You shot up and winced when you saw Lando walk through the door, your heart clenching at the sight of him.
He looked tired, frustrated, angry, sad, helpless. The list goes on. He had a pair of joggers with an oversized quadrant hoodie on, cap hiding his precious curls as his eyes were red and swollen, face drained of his usual brightness.
''Lan, baby'' you whispered as you walked up to him, watched him drop his bags and take his cap off.
He looked at you, his face softening when he saw you, as you enveloped him in a tight hug, trying to pour all of your love for him into it.
You soothed his back and played with the hair at the back of his neck and Lando buried his head in the crook of your neck, breathing deep and staggered.
''I'm here, just breathe. Gonna all be okay Lan'' you said, trying to find the words to calm him down though it would take some time.
''I know, thank you'' he whispered, pulling back and kissing you gently as he cupped your face.
''Missed you'' he said, hugging you again.
''Missed you too my love. Wanna go shower and have something to eat? Just cuddle after?'' you asked, knowing thats' what he always wanted after a bad race.
''Yeah'' he said quietly before retreating to the bedroom while you ordered some food for the both of you.
You didn't press him at first, to start talking about today, or anything at all. He'd asked how your week was and that was it. Comfortable silence through dinner. Once you'd both eaten as much pizza as you could, you watched some more tv in silence, until your nerves gave up and you had to say something.
You pulled back from where you were cuddling Lando at his side and gently looked at him, hoping your eyes would tell him to please open up to you.
''Talk to me Lan'' you said.
He licked his lips. ''Not much to say really. Just fuck up after fuck up''
You sighed. You didn't want to show him pity, because that was the last thing he needed. But you told him how ''he needed to stop blaming himself and see that it was his team and teammate, as usual,'' and that ''you knew he did everything he could to give it his all, how he is driving at his best and it will all pay off soon, he just needs to give it time''
''Thank you baby, really, i don't know what I'd do without you. I love you so much'' he said once you'd finished talking about the shitshow.
You leaned forward, pecking his nose. ''I love you too Lan, always''
You cuddled up again and watched something random again, just content to be with each other.
Lando had his arms wrapped around you, drawing lazy circles on your legs until his hands kept itching closer and closer to your core which was getting wetter and wetter with each movement. You didn't move or say anything though. You wanted him to carry on as he pleased, and use you as a distraction from everything.
He could probably feel your breathing increase though, and finally a few minutes later he let his hand slip into your sleep shorts, pushing your panties to the side and letting his fingers run through your folds.
Your breath hitched when he did that, and you opened your legs wider to give him better access, the both of you still not saying anything but letting your actions speak for themselves.
Your back was to Lando's chest, so he rested his chin on your shoulder as his fingers found your clit and started rubbing rough circles on it, pinching it now and then.
You closed your eyes, suppressing your moans, which Lando quickly told you not to hold in. ''Let them out baby, let me hear you'' he whispered din your ear.
So you did. When you felt his calloused index finger slide through your hole you let out a guttural moan, grinding yourself down on him as he added a second finger, thrusting them in and out hard and fast.
''Oh Lan, yes'' you whispered between breaths as he started nibbling on your sweet spot on your neck.
You were close, your body tensing at the feeling of a warmth starting to build up in your tummy and you realized you needed something to hold onto, so naturally, your hand found Lando's bulge, which by now had grown hard. You palmed him through his shorts, feeling his body jolt up with the contact.
''Fuck, y/n'' he said through gritted teeth.
''Lan I'm close, please'' you begged.
So he sped up his movements, fucking his fingers into you and curling them at just right time, sending you into an orgasmic bliss as your cum gushed all over Lando's fingers, messing your panties and shorts in the process.
''Fuck, god, Lando'' you breathed out, trying to steady it as much as you could to catch your breath again. You let your body fall back onto Lando's, only realizing now just how tense you'd gotten with his actions.
He slid his fingers out, bringing them up to his lips and licking them clean. ''My favorite'' he whispered.
Your cunt was still desperate for more, achingly clenching around nothing, and at the same time you could feel Lando's dick twitching him his shorts, also begging for attention.
Just as you were about to sink down onto your knees as give him some relief, Lando's words shook you to your core.
''Can I fuck you?'' he asked
Your brain was fizzled. Why was he asking? He knew he could do whatever the fuck he wanted with you, but also did he feel so reserved or upset that he felt the need to ask?
''Yes'' you said, eagerly, not caring how desperate you sounded, getting up form your position and watching how his eyes darkened when he saw you take off all your clothes and standing bare in front of him.
You stood there as Lando shamelessly let his eyes roam your body, licking his lips when they stopped at your dripping pussy.
He pulled you onto his lap, grabbing your face for a feverish kiss, not wasting time to let his tongue slip into your mouth as his hands wandered all over your body.
You kissed him back with as much urgency, as you let yourself grind on his thigh.
Lando let out a series of grunts as he looked down and saw the wet patch on his shorts that you left.
''Still wearing too many clothes baby'' you said, already working on taking his tshirt off as he raised his hips off the couch to rid his shorts.
Once he was finally as naked as you, you finally got onto your knees on the carpet, sitting between his legs and you took his thick girth and gave him a few pumps.
Lando's back arched off the couch as he settled his arms behind his head, resting it back and openly letting pornographic moans leave his mouth.
The noises he made as you took his tip into your mouth to suck on had you clenching your thighs together, you were sure you could cum by just listening.
You fondled with his balls as you pushed his cock further into your mouth until he was hitting the back of your throat, as you started a steady rhythm so fucking him in and out.
You looked up to see he has his eyes closed, mouth agape and he continued to let himself be heard, hips thrusting up every now and then at how sensitive he was everything his slit touched your throat.
''Fuckin hell, so good'' he mumbled, more to himself as you sped up your pace, eager to taste him.
Lando eventually bought his hands down to hold onto your face, thrusting his hips up to fuck himself into your mouth.
By now you were gagging around him, spit messing your chin and dripping down onto your thighs. Looking at that alone and hearing the sloppy sounded you were making was enough to push Lando over the edge.
He groaned as his dick twitched uncontrollably, his cum blasting out of him down your throat as his hold on your hair tightened.
You moaned at the salty taste of Lando as he praised your name like a mantra, praised you at how well you took him.
He let his body relax back, chest heaving as he was slowly coming down from his high when he finally opened his eyes and saw you still on your knees, wiping your chin with the back of your hand as your own breathing at reached new heights.
''Come here'' he said softly, pulling you onto his lap and cupping your face, gently this time, peppering your face in wet kisses as he finally licked your chin clean of the mixture of spit and cum.
He tucked your hair behind your ears as he bit down on your lower lip, feeling your grind yourself on him once again.
''Need to feel you love. Gonna let me fuck you now yeah?'' he said.
You loved when he spoke to you like that, used his words like that.
You quickly nodded your head, ''Please Lando'' you begged.
''Ride me first then I'll take you from behind?'' he asked again.
You didn't respond verbally though. You just braced your hands on his shoulders as Lando pumped himself a few times, running his cock through your folds before settling at your hole, letting you sink down on him fully in a single thrust.
Your foreheads were resting against each other as the feeling of pain and pleasure overtook your body, letting out rhythmic moans as your walls clenched around Lando.
''Fuck'' he breathlessly cooed as you bit down on your lower lip.
''Hmm'' was all you managed back.
Once your body was used to the intrusion, (you always had to have some time because Lando was bigger than average and it was stung bad at first) you lifted yourself up before slammed back down again, and you continued that rhythm as a string of obscene moans left both yours and Lando's mouths.
His hand were planted tightly on your hips, guiding your movements of riding his thick pole up and down as you couldn't help but lean down and take one his nipples into your mouth, moaned at how it felt to have it in you mouth as you bit and sucked on it. That had Lando a whining mess.
''My brat, so filthy. So fucking dirty'' he mumbled through gritted teeth, spit flying through his mouth as he said it.
Your pace was raw, riding him like your life depended on it, when Lando bought his hand down and let his fingers toy with your clit, quickly edging you on.
''Fuck Lando I'm gonna cum'' you said, panting in his face as his eyes were stuck on yours, growing darker with every thrust.
''Do it'' he said, sternly. The raspiness and hoarseness of his voice only turning you on as you leaned down and locked lips with his in a harsh kiss, both your tongues everywhere, so unable to even have a proper kiss - just licks and nips of each others mouth.
The moment he pinched your slit through his fingers, you were a shuddering mess in his arms. Your body shaking violently as your orgasm ripped through you, gushing your fluids onto Lando's dick, now running down your thighs and his as he took control of fucking himself into you.
''How do you manage to cum so violently baby? Are you okay?'' he asked, concerned etched on his face as he was always so shocked at how much cum you mustered up. Though not concerned enough to stop fucking you!
You breathed heavy, trying to talk and failing to do so he slowed his movements slightly.
''Fuck it you Lan, you don't know what you do to me'' you said, smirking at thinking how this will boost his ego.
''Yeah?'' he asked, picking up his pace again.
''Uh huh. All you'' you said, trying to keep up with him though your body was like jelly.
He sensed your weakness and gently pulled you up, man-handling your body to lay down on the couch as he placed himself between your legs, spreading them wide open before pushing his angry dick back into you, relentlessly chasing his own high now.
You shut your eyes and bit your lip when Lando leaned down and roughly sucked on your nipple, showing it no pity. Your hands found his hair, pulling at and tugging it roughly.
Lando continued his onslaught as his words started again. He was whispering how to were such a fucking good girl for letting him use you as a slut, taking his thick dick so nice, how one day he was gonna fuck a baby into you, how you'd be only his whore forever, and no one would ever get to know how good you are, how you ruined sex for him.
His words were quick to have you shaking underneath him again, an orgasmic bliss taking over your body as you were sure you would black out with the pace he was still going at.
''Uh fuck Lando, fuck me, oh god, please'' you moaned and begged, not sure what for.
He laughed, for the first time since the race ended. ''I am fucking you baby, and you're doing so good for me. I fucking love you so much'' he mumbled, putting pressure on your clit, sending you into yet another orgasm, fluids gushing out of your body uncontrollably.
Lando slowed his movements. ''Still want you form the back, get up'' he ordered. And as much as your body felt like it couldn't move, he made you move and positioned you nicely for himself, you were on your elbows, with your ass in the air and Lando sat on his heels and pumped himself a few times, letting his spit drop down onto this cock to lube himself before he finally pushed into your ass hole.
''Fucking love anal with you baby. So fucking hot'' he said through gritted teeth.
He pushed in all the way and by now words had long left your brain. All you could do was hold onto the pillow as tight as you could and shut your eyes, let them roll to the back of your head as Lando used you how he pleased.
You couldn't even muster up any energy to let any moans leave your mouth, so all you could do was pant and let out shaky breaths, with a few tears rolling down your cheeks.
Lando had pulled your body up, so you were leaning back against him and his hands snaked around to your front and squeezed and pulled at your boobs as he still slammed in and out of you.
''Lan, love you but I-I''
''Yes you can'' you interrupted, leaving open mouthed kisses along your neck and collarbone.
Within seconds he'd sent you over the edge again, body quivering in his arms as he slowed his movements again, riding you through your orgasm.
''Lan''
''I know baby. One more, yeah? For me?''
How could you not when he was talking to you like that?
You nodded, and he handled your body once again and lay down on the couch, resuming his place from earlier and slowly, painfully almost, gliding his cock through your cunt again.
You held your breath, unsure how your body was gonna take it because as good as it felt, you were sore everywhere.
''You're so good. Such a good brat. One more baby, then we're done'' he said, leaning down to kiss you softly, though the bottom part of his body (and yours) was everything but soft. He ruthlessly slammed in and out of your core as you were starting to see stars now.
''Hm Lando wha-I-I'' you couldn't even form words now. Your body was on overdrive and you swear you were starting to feel things you'd never felt. You couldn't even describe what you were feeling when he asked you.
But just as his dick hit over G-spot over and over and over again, your body gave way and all of a sudden you were squirting, left right and center, unable to control it.
When Lando released what was happening, he couldn't stop his own dick from twitching unexplainably harshly, shooting ropes and ropes of milky white cum deep within you.
''FUCK, Y/N WHAT!?'' he exclaimed, unable to stop himself from shouting it out as he couldn't believe it was actually happening.
You though - you were in a state of bliss. Body tingling and fluttering as you just experienced squirting for the first time, and boy did it feel fucking amazing.
As Lando finally came down from your involuntary actions, he was quick to pull out of you and lean down, slurping and swallowing at every bit of juice and liquid your body just gave out.
His tongue on your pussy sent waves of pleasure and when he slid it through your hole, without really knowing what was happening, you ended up cumming AGAIN.
''Fuck LANDO!'' you shouted, not caring if your neighbors could hear you.
He blew some cool air over your cunt as he pulled back and gave you a sheepish smile.
''Sorry couldn't help myself'' he said, breathless as you were.
He let his weigh collapse onto your body and you arms wrapped around him tightly, trying to calm the both of you down though you were starting to shiver at the cold air hitting you sweaty skin.
Lando's curls were stuck on his forehead as your brushed them up and ran you hand through his hair.
''I've always said it and i will continue to. You are out of this world y/n. Fucking incredible in every fucking way. How the hell are you so good at making me feel this good? And I'm sorry - but you squirting is the single most hottest fucking thing you've ever done.'' he said, kissing you straight away and not giving you time to respond.
When he pulled back, you couldn't help but chuckle.
''Lan, you don't get it. Its the effect you have on me. You seriously have no idea what you do to my insides when you talk act, do anything for that matter. You'd just the most amazing person i know inside and out and just the thought of you does crazy things to me. Don't get even me started on what you make me feel when we fuck. It's unlike anything I've ever felt and i wouldn't have it any other way.''
''I don't know what i did to deserve you, but i love you so so much'' he whispered.
''I love you too baby. But promise me one thing. You wont let that asshole of a team bring you done. You need to know how fucking talented and incredible you are and will always be. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. If they do, they'll have to come through me and i will crush them. But seriously, you are the best out there and i promise the good times will come, you will always be MY world champion. Forget what everyone else says. I love you so much.
''Thank you'' he whispered softly again.
The rest of the night was spent in bed with lazy kisses and dare you say more when you say Lando made you squirt again the next morning ;)
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lunarheslwt · 1 year
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honeydazai · 9 months
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୨୧·࣭࣪̇˖ 𝆬  sharing a bed with them 𓏸
feat.: Dazai, Chūya, Ranpo, Fyodor, Nikolai, Sigma
content: pre-relationship bed sharing, flirty/mildly sexual implications
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It's truly unfortunate that, while on a mission for the Agency, you have to share a bed with DAZAI — or so you think, at least. He doesn't share the sentiment in the slightest, instead smiling as innocently as possible the moment his gaze falls onto the single bed in the hotel room booked for the night. While he pretends to offer you the bed, he'll guilt-trip you about the couch being way too short for his long legs and about his back already aching until, eventually, you give in and share it with him.
Naturally, he gets into your space more than necessary at night, pretending he's asleep while cuddling close to you, given how, then, you can't cuss him out for wrapping an arm around your waist and burying his face in your neck, breath warm against your throat. It's worse that he knows if you won't get any amount of sleep whatsoever, much too busy with fighting off arousal while he's pressed flush against your back.
“Hm? No, it's alright. I don't mind taking the couch. What kind of man would I be if I let you sleep on there? Still, it's just — it's way too short and hard. Couches this uncomfortable shouldn't exist, really. I doubt I'll be able to get even a wink of sleep tonight, what a shame.”
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When there turns out to only be one bed in the hotel room you're supposed to stay in for the night, CHŪYA doesn't even hesitate before offering you the bed, immediately going for the couch instead. He won't accept any protests either; no matter whether you're worried about his comfort or just think it's polite to refuse his offer, he won't allow you to spend the night on a sofa. He's not making a huge deal out of it and, if you keep being annoying about it, he gets more and more exhausted by the minute.
Eventually, he might give in to the idea of sharing the bed. He has no trouble keeping to himself — or so he believes, because, once he's actually asleep, softly snoring into your ear, he's moving wildly, one leg eventually thrown over your body, arms stretched out. If you mention it to him in the morning, his cheeks flush soft pink.
“Hm? The fuck you mean, you'll be taking the sofa? Definitely not. I'm already here — and I don't mind. Go lie down and get some sleep. We've got a busy day tomorrow.”
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RANPO, the very moment he steps foot into the room, decides he wants the bed to himself. The idea of taking the couch doesn't even cross his mind; instead, he makes his way over to the bed all too quickly, though, when you end up either glaring at him or asking him to share, he just shrugs.
Really, he doesn't make too big of a deal out of sharing a bed, not even seeming a little nervous at the idea of lying down beside you for hours on end. Meanwhile, at night, he cuddles up close to you — actually asleep, unlike a certain someone —, arms wrapped around you, for once completely unaware of you being all flustered because of him. In the morning, it'll be like nothing happened, even though you can't quite stop thinking about
“What are you looking at me like that for? I said we can share. If you're hoping to have it for yourself, tough luck. I was here first, just saying. Just get in or move to the couch already, I'm tired.”
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All of FYODOR'S decisions are based on logic; this one is no exception. If the bed is large enough to fit two people, it's large enough for the two of you to share — though, if you feel like taking the couch instead, he won't protest. That's your decision to make, after all.
While actually sharing the bed with him, it's basically like you're alone in there, anyway. He doesn't move when asleep, doesn't make a sound; it's all too easy to imagine he's not even there, even though, occasionally, a dark strand of hair might brush against your face. What you don't know, however, is that he, at night, while you're fast asleep, he takes the time to watch you up close, lilac eyes tracing over every plane of your face.
“I do not mind sharing the bed with you. I hope you feel similarly. We both are adults, are we not? I doubt this will be an issue. Just lie down.”
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NIKOLAI is undoubtedly amused by the idea of sharing a bed with you. He doesn't waste a single thought towards either of you taking the sofa instead; nonsense, just why would you do that? There's a perfectly fine bed right there, and surely both of you are mature enough to share one without any issues, right? Wrong.
He makes a point of being as obnoxious as possible, cuddling close to you the very second you lie down. It doesn't help that he's both tall and strong, his arms closed around your waist so you can't even try to get away or up, and he makes a point of whining whenever you attempt to squirm away. It's going to be a long night.
“What's the matter? Why are you moving so much? Stop it, I won't be able to fall asleep this way. Or — ah, are you trying to rile me up on purpose? That's naughty of you, sweetheart.”
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SIGMA immediately makes a beeline for the couch the second he notices the dilemma of having a double bed rather than two separate ones booked. He won't even discuss the topic with you; he doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable or forced to sleep on a sofa, so he'll do it instead. There's no whining or guilt tripping from his end; he simply accepts his fate for the night. There's worse things to endure.
If you're incredibly serious about convincing him, however, he might just give in, even though his cheeks feel a little warmer than usual when he lies down next to you, making sure there's an appropriate amount of distance between the two of you. If there's anything he doesn't want, it's you thinking he's trying to be creepy after you've decided to trust him — he probably ends up barely getting any sleep, just because he's worried about accidentally getting too close to you.
“Are you sure you're alright with this? I really don't mind spending the night on the sofa instead. ... Well, if you're sure — thank you.”
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