#i'm so sure this is the same person that's said some very dumb things regarding this topic before but i can't remember

[winxys]

not this person on twt saying we should sabotage the tour bc 8d kicked out jisung.. be serious

[mossy123302]

I am not exactly entirely good with character or relationship analysis (A reason why my dumb fox head is aroace because I am not good w/ navigating romantic relationships)

So this is just my best effort writing the dynamic Q! Philza and Q! Missa have.

I do like to headcanon, like others, that Philza is indeed aroace, but not in a way, that like he doesn't understand what platonic or romantic means. Sure, it's funny to tease Philza about it, but it's also true that close friends could very much do so. I think Philza is quite aware of what is romantic and platonic, he knows the boundaries of it. I mean Philza is literally married to the Goddess of Death (implied) Kristin. It's more or less that Philza doesn't simply care for such labels. (I very much hc that Philza could probably be genderfluid, like me- Peeposmile)

It's something Philza even mentioned in the live stream when talking about the deities in hardcore world. It's something they don't care about and just vibe with whatever they're vibing with. They don't care and I think Philza is the same in that mindset. He just doesn't care, and will be blunt about it, if he needs to actually talk about it.

Philza seems to deeply cherish those that are ... similar to himself from what I can tell. I don't fully watch Fit or other POV to get a clear understanding of Phil's relationship w/ others so I'm sorry if I don't include them, same with Technoblade. I've recently started watching mcyt again and I don't want to talk about something I don't have a full understanding of.

Anyways, Phil deeply connects with those that share similar traits to him in some regard. Techno whose the Blood God, who clearly has an understanding of death, war and loyalty and this clearly shows via Missa too. Missa, while not a fighter, does understand death and how important it is... He literally is a gentle grim reaper. He understands death much clearly, because his mother is also a Goddess tied to Death as well. Missa is also fiercely loyal to Phil and his children, because honestly, he was so busy! He didn't have to return to Quesadilla Island but he did because he cares about Phil and his children, quickly adopted Tallulah and he hadn't even seen her yet.

Whoever Phil trusted and guards with his life, Missa will guard that person with his life as well. Of course, unless, we talk about BadboyHalo then that's another discussion LOL. Such a mess between the demon (?) and grim reaper.

Anyways, we know how much Phil values such loyalty that, I cannot remember what Tubbo said, but he immediately locked Tubbo out of his own home because of what he said about someone and while despite implied flings with others. Philza never spoke about others the way he speaks about Missa.

Their relationship definitely...crosses the line of platonic and romantic. I can see why it would be considered queer platonic relationship, but also at the same time, it's like there is some line being breached which makes everyone raise an eyebrow cause sir, what do you mean platonic-

Philza is clearly...possessive over Missa, because the way he got so defensive when Bagi mentions Antoine (right?) and Missa should date. Philza didn't have to get so defensive, because Missa already immediately denied. Philza could have kissed anyone else, like Fit, but chose Missa instead. He even demanded Tall Missa to the admins, got jealous over any shipping fanart and acts like he's fine and doesn't miss Missa at all. *Coughs in* "I'm going to f*cking off myself. Did Missa log on again?!" (Side eye Philza)

Like he's done lots of things that makes everyone just raise an eyebrow- Philza is fooling no one but himself (& Missa)

I also enjoy the lore Missa has going on with accepting that he is indeed a part of the family and isn't alone. Missa had just lost Spreen, and suddenly, he had no one but the Angel of Death as his assigned partner. Missa must have felt so unmatched compared to Philza because what could he even offer to the family? He had nothing but his music and kind words, which is everyone that Death Family wanted. Missa brought a different change to the family that makes them be vulnerable, to not be so serious all the time and to actually just relax and be like a family that's just on vacation.

I mean, and just talking about loyalty and kindness. Missa never gave up... He fought his way back, despite getting taken away by wolves and suddenly Badboyhalo being so cruel. He always made sure his family was safe and always brought something for them.

Didn't Missa say he got lost because he tried to find a gift for Philza?! Like...the commitment to find a perfect gift for Philza, and still returning (sure, without the gift). While it's hilarious, Missa doesn't run away because of his wet cat behavior. He runs away because he doesn't want to put his family in danger, he cannot fight as well as others can. He relies on others to fight for him and then he jumps in to help, but because the time zone doesn't allow such things. Missa is forced to run.

And Missa is good at it. He will run as far as he can, if it means his family will be safe. He isn't running away from his family, but the danger because at the end of it all, he will return back to his family, no matter how long it takes.

And Missa casually admitted to Chayanne that he needs Philza more than he realized, the same way Philza realizes he needed Missa but didn't dare admit, whether it is out of fear or something else that he couldn't voice it. But Philza clearly showed it through his actions, that he brought/dragged Missa to Rose's Sanctuary before they went to sleep forever. He didn't have to do so, but he did... indicating their bond is much deeper because Rose's Sanctuary is literally a pocket dimension that no one cannot access.

Missa has access. Now he sleeps eternally with his family...

Also their whole dynamic just being Sun/Moon. Fated to never see each other at times, until an eclipse and yet...they still leave signs to let the other know that they're still remembered. This also brought to my attention how Missa is afraid of the sky, while Philza yearns for the sky/to fly.

You think The Sun (Philza) misses the Moon (Missa) so much, because of how far they are, instead of just not seeing each other. The Moon clings to Earth, because they're afraid to go beyond...to something unknown while the Sun cannot stay still, and yearns to burn and be free.

Deathduo/Pissa has me on chokehold.

I do hope this was an interesting analysis, I'm not very good at this..honestly it's probably just me rambling if anything.

[kouyou-arc-when]

Hey, this is a great ask and I am so sorry for not replying earlier. I am responding like this because I actually broke the character limit since I'm dumb -_- I've written a lot of posts about this on reddit, and many people came up to me and asked me something similar. Your line of thinking is good. Regarding Dazai:

So, the thing is - to properly diagnose any personality disorder, you need to talk to that very person to understand their inner mechanisms. There are certain behavioral traits we can observe from the outside and make some guesses based on that: for example, Dazai's broadly dented empathy and why that's often found in people with ASPD.

However, for many other personality disorders it is very difficult to conclude much without the person saying ~I feel x because of y. I do c because of b.

Why? Personality disorders are internal structures that cause a person's behavior to be challenging to either them or others. To understand these mental processes is much more demanding than seeing a person just feels sad or anxious, to explain it simplistic terms.

The key behind many disorders is to know WHY a person is doing what they're doing. This one thing changes whether a person has x,z,y,t,n or whatever condition.

An example: BPD and CPTSD are often mistaken for one another. Same as with BPD, CPTSD, Autism and ADD in women, but BPD and CPTSD tend to have the largest "overgap", you can even have both at the same time. That's because many of the outside observable symptoms are the same.

An example: unstable relationships are a symptom of ALL of the above, but BPD is sort of...an outdated PD according to many specialists due to the fact that it was used as an "everything" disorder, where people with socially unconventional emotions were dumped. That's why you'll find two people with BPD that are almost nothing alike.

However, even if we hold to classic diagnostic criteria, let me show how the same symptom can be a product of entirely different circumstances.

For example: Someone with BPD will have unstable relationships due to an extreme fear of abandonment. Someone with Autism may have unstable relationships due to differences in communication styles Someone with ADHD will have unstable relationships due to various circumstances: emotional regulation, executive functioning etc.

So really, the outward result may be the same, but the cause is different.

However, now, typically the main reason someone could have BPD is either due to extreme splitting, favorite person behavior, numbness and/or abandonment issues.

Dazai 100% has "favorite person" syndrome going on with Oda - the way he idealized Odasaku and then devalues everyone around him in comparison is pretty clinical - doesn't mean their relationship isn't lovely, but it's certainly something a therapist would take note of.

It's no shocker Dazai has unstable relationships, but we don't 100% know why he does what he does.

That's the whole thing Asagiri said - the character is meant to be like a donnut, where you don't really know what's in the middle - so it's extremely difficult to say which PD fits him for sure, probably even more difficult than the average neurodivergent character. In my opinion, several interpretations of Dazai are simultaneously valid due to the fact that you could assume multiple personal struggles within him, and come to a reasonable conclusion.

Does Dazai have abandonment issues? He says he always loses everything he wants, is EXTREMELY bitter over Ango, and definitely shows some levels of "splitting", especially in how he treats Oda vs Ango, Akutagawa vs Atsushi etc etc.

I'm pretty confident he has PTSD, and everything that comes with that. He certainly has a personality disorder too, due to the fact that a lot of his difficulties stem from his personality, and not just brain chemistry.

Kunikida says that most of his emotions "seem" like an act, which raises a lot of questions to what is even happening on the inside. Asagiri said Dazai is really only himself in front of people like Oda and Fyodor. That version of Dazai is...much less cheerful than with everyone else.

I don't personally think Dazai is autistic since he has a good hang on social cues and overall communication. Mamoru Miyano said PM Dazai was still learning to communicate with others back in his Dark Era days, but it wasn't that he couldn't do it - he was just not interested in learning it.

I feel like Asagiri gave Dazai this "unrealistic" trait of being primarily isolated because he's extraordinarily intelligent (which is not how geniuses tend to feel irl, most of the time) but I always feel like there is something more to it.

There is definitely some /disconnect/ between Dazai and "normal" people, where he doesn't fully seem to understand certain things, he falls short there. As someone who has CPTSD diagnosed, I get the impression he maybe has a similar thing going on as many of us: A extremely traumatic experience disrupted a lot of normal emotional and cognitive processes, and now he's both extremely hypervigilant and unable to snap out of that "shellshocked" state. He needs to "perform" conventionality, and being a normal person.

In one wan chapter, he "made a joke" that you start doing one bad thing after another, and suddenly you feel nothing at all. That's the trademark numbness in both CPTSD and BPD.

There was this TDIPUD moment where he talks about how a personality is just a bunch of unstable premises that survive to uphold the basic instincts of the human mind - but how it's easily destroyed for that reason. This is a scene where he tortures the guy, and I was like "wow, I really get it". Severe trauma can just destroy the very structure of your personality, because extreme pain just numbs everything within you. "You" as a person can't survive.

BPD is also related to an unstable sense of self - which could be connected to the former paragraph. Sometimes lowered empathy is also a byproduct of BPD, in fact, the thing is that both BPD and CPTSD come from trauma 99% of the time. They're shockingly similar disorders.

So, does Dazai have BPD? No idea. He could also be schizoid to some extent, which is funny, because Franz Kafka had this disorder, the author that inspired Asagiri's nickname.

For now, I'd just leave at he has CPTSD for sure

Most of these disorders are very broad descriptors, and it's difficult to label most humans in a way that will genuinely encompass what their experiences are. Most of the time, these diagnostics are used to match a person with the best treatment available, or to explain what they're going through - so I don't think there is a perfect diagnosis for Dazai aside from PTSD, but he's definitely extremely neurodivergent. Thanks for reading <3

[sirfrogsworth]

I think I might have a highly controversial answer to this.

And my answer is influenced by how highly regarded the movie is compared to my experience with it. And it may not be the worst movie as far as the quality of the filmmaking, but it was the most angry I have ever been after watching a movie.

*drumroll*

Or as I like to call it... "Math Homework: The Movie"

So many people have said this is one of the best time travel movies ever made. And I just don't get it. There is literally no person who understood this movie on the first viewing. I had to watch a YouTube explanation video that was nearly as long as the actual movie to kinda/sorta understand it.

There is that Einstein quote, "If you can't explain it to a six-year-old, you don't understand it yourself."

I'm not sure that is entirely true, but I think it should at least be true for a movie. Donnie Darko also made me angry for the same reason. I thought I was an idiot because I didn't know what was going on. But then I watched the director's commentary and he was like, "I'm not entirely sure what is going on." He didn't understand his own movie!

I know some people like puzzles and that is probably what they liked about Primer. It was a very detailed and well-thought-out time travel puzzle. They clearly thought a lot about how the time travel worked. It was something fun to figure out for people. This was a big point of pride for the director saying he didn't want to "dumb down his movie." But that isn't what he did. Making something incomprehensible is not the opposite of dumbing it down.

And if you are going to have a convoluted plot that people cannot understand on the first viewing, you can at least make the movie entertaining in other ways. But this movie had horrible visuals, some very stiff performances, and the non-puzzle parts of the plot were just not that interesting. "Hey, they played the stock markets! Let's watch some capitalism unfold!" And the whole white knight party scene just made me cringe. It was especially concerning considering the director was later found out to be abusive to his ex-girlfriend. Was he saving the girl in the movie from a version of himself? Very meta.

I didn't really understand Tenet, but at least it had explosions and backwards fight choreography. I will give Primer a little credit for shooting the movie for $7000. But I still think the visuals could have been much better. Even if it was just better composition and interesting camera angles. You can do a lot of creative things purely in how you frame your shots.

I am not personally interested in a movie where I have to take notes and draw diagrams to understand the plot. I just want to absorb it and be entertained.

That said, I have no problem if others liked that aspect. If you jumped for joy when assigned math homework, this movie was made for you

So I will say this was one of the worst films for *me* to watch, but not the worst film in general.

[suekreandtheidiots]

There was an "Incorrect OC quotes" generator hype going on on IG a while ago and, of course, I couldn't not. 😂 I only just remembered that I wanted to take one particular quote PLUS a story reply from my friend Teo aka @teo-s-art-corner as an opportunity to ramble about some of the teenage gang a bit. The boys, to be precise. 😂

(I don't care if I'm shouting into the void here, that timeline gives me so much life, teenagers are hilarious. 😂 I also enjoy the feeling that writing them gives me, but that's for a different conversation!)

ANYHOO. Let's go!

"Fozzy is the most straightforward."

Yep. In a way, he is. Lance is very straightforward, too, as in "not afraid to speak his mind", but Fozzy has the tendency to just blurt out with whatever comes to his mind, without thinking. Lance is a liiittle more mindful about the things he says. He doesn't exactly have a filter either, he is just more "collected" in his choice of words, while Fozzy is just... BLAH, regardless of how dumb he sounds. 😂 He always appears a little "simpler" than others but that isn't at all the case: Fozzy is really intelligent. So. much. more. than he ever appears. I'm not saying he has the same academic brain that Lance has, but he's actually really clever... and calculating, of all things. That's part of why his parents were so desperate about him squandering a huge chunk of his youth and falling for sex, drugs and rock'n'roll instead. They knew that their son was a hundred percent aware what he was getting himself into there, they knew he knew he had the potential to do better. He just didn't care, he wanted to go nuts. It drove his parents mad. There's a certain darkness to Fozzy (at least to his younger version), too, that is hard to put into words... but it's definitely there. But yeah... unfiltered madness, for sure. 🤣

"Cal is oddly specific in his choice to commit violence."

Alright, this was a super fun sentiment (thanks Teo, I'm cackling again 😂) but I gotta say here that Cal really isn't one to randomly commit violence. 😂 Still, I always imagined him to have this bit of... hilarious randomness about him? Which makes this fitting. He just says weird and funny things at times, he's a delightful person, blessed with the kind of wit that makes people laugh. (Something I see in Ali, too, by the way. Both Cal and Ali have a bit of a male Lorelai Gilmore vibe to them, if I HAD to give an example.) So, when Cal blurts out with something like the above, he usually really doesn't want to punch people in the neck, it's just something randomly creative that comes to his mind and that he feels like sharing. 😂

"Mark is very polite."

He is. Mark is, indeed, very polite. A little calmer than his peers, too. I know I talked a little about him before, but I'll say it again: Despite all the weird crap, Mark was the most "progressive" of the gang in their time. Feminism, racism, ableism... pretty much anything regarding social injustice he had a better, clearer grasp of than his friends. The "male ego" wasn't really a thing for him, he knew how to properly apologise when he did or said something wrong, he was usually the one to call out sexist remarks towards the girls that most other boys usually tried to brush off as "Come on, it was a joke!". He sure had his flaws but Mark was a bit of a walking green flag. 😂 Girls felt safe around him, without actually being able to point out why. I still don't know what he does for a living nowadays but I really kinda see him working as an equal opportunities commissioner of a company or something. I don't know yet but he still has it in him, and he only got better over time. There's a reason Aimee stuck by his side. She saw all of it early on!

"Lance is seeing the bigger picture."

True. Lance's brain often goes where others don't. He is a pretty dominant person, too. I hate the term alpha-male for it's extremely negative connotation, Lance is aboslutely not that person, but he really is a bit of a natural leader; he just takes charge without thinking too much of it. He has major problems with authority, too. 😂 Sooo, seeing the bigger picture is a thing for him, mainly because he thinks that he has to, to stay in charge and protect his peers, but wanting to assert dominance for the sake of asserting/maintaining dominance also kinda is a thing for him. 🤣 It's hard to explain. He's just such a handful and I love him to pieces. 🤣

"Tim is wondering why he's still hanging out with these guys."

... yeah. 😂 I mean, Tim totally appreciates the friends he picks and the fun times he has with them, but I think what I failed to express so far is that Tim isn't actually always super cute and easygoing. He isn't exactly the Voice of Reason. He's more like the one who watches the stupidity unfold and who laughs when someone gets burned. 🤣 He's friend material in his own way, he values loyalty and he's kindhearted, too. He's blunt as fuck, though, and easily annoyed, too, which has always been a thing for him, not just because those weirdos tested his patience all the time. I know next to nothing about D&D but I always kinda saw him as this extremely annoyed healer of an adventuring party who sure does what he's there to do, but who often hasn't a whole lot of empathy to offer on top of that, especially not when the stupid outcome could have easily been prevented. 🤣 "Ah, she called you out on your shit? Good!", "Oh man, you have a hangover? Really? Those 38 shots were a bit too much, you think? Pf, lol, told you so. *carelessly tosses a pack of aspirin*" ... Tim was willing to stick around for anyone for sympathy, but he never tried to make excuses for anybody. Which made it easy for him to walk out on Cal, Fozzy (and Mark) when they planned the stupid prank on Lance. Being blunt and honest is one thing. Deliberately planning to cause harm and hurt was another. It was neither about demonising Cal nor protecting/coddling Lance, the whole thing was just something he couldn't have lived with, so he did the best he could think of and backed out.

Some additional thoughts:

I never wanted to create this little group as a mix of stereotypes, liiike... there isn't the designated "Goofball" or the "Stupid One" or the "Brainy One" or whatever else role there is that could be filled, so pleasepleaseplease always take these kinda things with a wee grain of salt! 😂 One of the parts I enjoy most about my own worldbuilding is how I want everyone to be humans in first place. Humans who don't always do what people expect them to, who are capable to surprise others, who have off days and also dull moments.

It's also why I don't really like answering questions like "Who is the most (insert adjective)?" ... like, sure, there are characters who have traits that shine brighter than their other traits, and I do enjoy a wee brush of stereotype here and there, too, of course, but I usually don't really think in certain categories and I really love keeping things and interactions as natural as possible. I just want to see people as a whole person and that is how I always treat my OCs, too!

[ikeameatballspoisonedme]

Kissing his communist lips

Someone bumped my replies so I'm thinking about it yet again. Something something very odd that all of the sudden appealing to the cis men part of the fanbase, in which the perception is "lol these teenage shippers in fandom are so mentally unwell" after losing the trust of followers. These "mentally unwell teenagers", mind you, already made the same criticisms a while back. It's just that they were soured by a certain someone that falsely accused them of sending NSFW to minors. Then doubled down using a fucking burner account. I know it was you, I'm not stupid. That was my second to last straw. If by chance you are reading this you are rewriting history and spreading them through men with big accounts that thought fandoms are stewpid xD. You lost trust of your followers including me so you move on to a new grift. People will buy it! But not me. I was in this fandom for a decade. I've seen this kind of thing over and over. And I'm not buying your grift. Feel free to include this post on your brand new callout post, maybe include my problematic posts here. I'm sure I've said some weird things.

Funny how these men already got explained patiently about the truth MULTIPLE TIMES but they dismissed it because it's from ewwww shippers!!!!!! Well you can't dismiss me. Me and my Marjin Kiri copy of Metode Jakarta. READ!!!!!

To make me #notbiased, if *you* found this post, honestly I do not like their posts either. I think it's uncomfortable for me, but callout post? Proshipper? Really? Lol. 2015 callout for jaspis 2023 I like yogurt. Personally I just mute them and enjoy my day! And yet again, if I had to be more honest, I sided with you at first because I thought you were kind and 'drama-free'. But evidence piled up, and the more I read it the more I see you being in the wrong from the very beginning. I let my bias clouded my judgement. I was wrong. All of this for clout are you kidding me.

I'm writing a long post because I dunno if you will ever resurface publicly. I wanted to let you know that you broke my very last straw with that criticism post excuse when with all the context I know it was a deflection. It got me reading more and more about this incident and my heart breaks. I'm angry! I used to care and I got slapped in the face for caring so much. This is also tangentially related with my thoughts on cis men misogyny regarding fandoms. Dismissing passionate people drawing fanart and having fun as mentally ill teenagers. Thinking of them as shallow because ugh they're so positive all the time. They are not stupid! As I said before, they have voiced their criticism before, during the peak. And a certain someone vaguetweeted about it huh awesome. There are this notions that shippers are shallow dumb teenagers, even DE fandom is not safe. I assure you that communism and the hope of it is half the reason why I love Elysium, but I am a very slow writer and tweeting about Kim when I'm bored is easier. Not to mention that for some reason drafts don't work on my account anymore. Thanks Elon lol. Not to worry, my upcoming DE vid will have a part about why I adore its politics and analysis of it so yeah. Look forward to it. Woohoo. Wreak havoc on the middle class.

[dlamp-dictator]

So... Limbus Company sure is a thing, right?

...

...

...

Okay yeah, I'm just gonna' rip off this bandage will quick, because much like Tomodachi Game, this won't be leaving my head any time soon until I actually type out my thoughts and finally purge them from my mind. And with all the controversy stuff still rattling around the fanbase I figured I'd say my two cents and thing finally have these nagging thoughts leave me for... well, until I talk about other things.

In any case...

Short Version: While I've personally stepped away from the game and company, I'm not too hostile toward anyone still in it. This is a silly auto-battler phone game at the end of the day after all. Rabid niche fandom or no.

Long Version:

Where do I even begin?

To put it bluntly, I'm annoyed. Mostly because when the whole debacle over Molar Ishmael came to light I had just finished the entire season 2 pass and purchased the premium. I was locked in and was just about to write up my thouts of the series when Project Moon, the developers of the game, essentially exploded with controversy.

For those wanting a quick and dirty summary (bearing in mind this is with minimal research), the summer event of Limbus Company had some character designs that were, to put it mildly, not what certain aspects of the fandom expected or wanted, this lead to a big amount complaints, review bombs, and depending on the source some actual riots in South Korea. This outrage was also along with the controversial Uptie 4 update that was essentially a big shift in the soft level-cap, and after the previously mentioned riots Project Moon had fired one of their popular and beloved artists in a way that was probably very illegal according to some South Korean labor laws. After this legal faux pas a necromancer decided resurrect all the other skeletons that were still hiding in Project Moon's closet and essentially had them conga line out of it with all the dirty laundry that has been stinking up the company from behind.

I'm being hyperbolic about the necromancer, but several staff and contracted artists were risking NDA to speak out about mistreatment and lack of professionalism within the company. Keep in mind that a lot of misinformation has been strewn about and everything in that above paragraph, my joke about a necromancer aside, should have massive air quotes around it and be taken with a grain of salt.

My overall feelings are both disappointment and mild shrug. This isn't really anything new in terms of mismanagement corporate nonsense. Artists getting screwed over by corporations, misdirected fan outcry and borderline doxing over assumed slights, niche/small fandoms of an indie game turning rabid over something that goes against their expectations. I've been in a lot of fandoms and seen a lot of nonsense, this is nothing new. That said, like every other time this happens I tend to back away from the series until things either calm down or public apologies are made. Neither seems to have happened yet despite Project Moon's insistence on pretending things are back to normal with their continued pumping out of content.

For those wanting my earnest opinions, here's a few small points I think about in regards to this:

General Thoughts: In general, those still playing Limbus either because they don't know or care about the behind-the-scenes stuff are... fine. EA, Activision, Blizzard, and other companies don't exactly die due to them doing a lot shady and immoral acts going public. This is nothing new. That said, if Limbus Company and Project Moon go under due to all the protests and revenue losses then that's egg on the faces of those dumb enough to mindlessly consume. I'll simply say if Canto 5 isn't absolute gangbusters then a lot of people are going to look very stupid for being stubborn.

Content Creators: Because this is absolutely going to come up in certain discussions I'll say my piece here. In terms of content creators my above point is the same. This game is losing revenue and profit with the only saving grace being its next big content updating having a chance of being good enough to bring people back. It's gonna' take a hell of a lot of effort to keep the game afloat outside of an extremely dedicated niche fanbase and whales, and know that niche fanbases turn rabid fast if people take or don't take certain actions. Content Creators that haven't flipped to a different fandom are playing with fire, and they've got a good chance of being incinerated if this game truly dies.

"Boycott": For those even speaking the word "boycott" please understand that it is a known fact that Tumblr can't boycott shit. Ever. I'd recommend just stating you as an individual aren't going to be posting about Limbus for awhile and move to other fandoms. This site does not care about your moralism or virtue when the biggest complaint is that Tumblr is wonky about porn and adult content. Especially about a month or two after the controversy, you're either playing this game or you're not. Unless you're from South Korea and have boots on Ground Zero proper I wouldn't recommend screaming about boycotts unless you've got a better game with a better gacha system to crawl to. That said, everyone should play Arknights instead of Limbus Company for now.

With all that said, I'm still not completely going to jump ship. There are still some things that could bring me back to this game. These would be the following: :

Public Apology: A public apology or admittance of all the skeletons in the closet, controversies, and other mistakes recently made would go a long way in rebuilding goodwill with me. As much as I would like see to see a rehiring of fired artists I know some of those folks might had broken NDAs to speak out and professionally that wouldn't be a good look to ignore, so maybe a quiet and private restitution for those effected would be a good way of good PR.

Uptie 4 Fixes: Namely making Uptie 4 a more reasonable thing in terms or game resources and time by lowering the cost of thread needed would be nice. Not a thing that'd completely bring me back, but something nice to make it more tempting.

Transparency: Any form of public transparency on what's happening in Project Moon would be nice. A willingness to pull the veil a little and show that things aren't completely on the up and up either by admitting that their little incidents have caused major profit loss or that their firing of certain staff as a kneejerk reaction weren't smart moves on their part will be as close to an apology as a company can get while still saving face. I'd definitely be willing to come back something like that happened and they've learned their lesson.

Okay, that's it for now. Just needed to get that off my chest. I'll talk to you folks later. Hopefully on more positive things. Maybe even about Limbus Company. Who knows?

[motheatenscarf]

Boy, all it took was Zenos turning into an absolute bugfuck insane ravening lunatic for these writers to figure out, "Oh hey, maybe we should make our villains... fun?"

Like, I've given up on them being INTERESTING, the Ascians' motivations are dumb and I hate them, but we've finally got an Ascian with PERSONALITY in Solus. Thank fucking Christ.

His conversations with Varis are very fun to watch, from the actual dialogue to the way they twist the character model to unnatural contortions as he moves and gestures. I grant you that he's uh... heavily queer-coded in that regard, but my god, I'll take the camp without complaint at this point, give me more Kefkas.

I also really dig his leitmotif, it's tense and ominous while still being almost.. whimsical? Very informative and concise.

I'm also 100% sure he's the Emet Selch Ascian, he said they "summoned him back" and seems almost contemptuous of some of them. That's also a welcome change in itself. The only thing more fun than one bitchy villain is multiple bitchy villains who have, what a concept, interpersonal relationships and established dynamics with one another.

Wow! Villains with personalities? The wonders of magitek never cease!

My only complaint is... that fucking name there.

"Emet Selch."

I hate it.

You have to say it with your whole mouth, almost on the same level as "Evan Kelmp."

Also, why does he get a relatively normal ass name and the others have to be shit like Elidibus, Lahabrea, and whatever other greek shit the others have been?

He changes his name TO Solus to disguise the fact that he's an immortal godlike being from before time who wants to end our world so he can restore it to the one he kne-

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!

[strangestcase]

I will make a final statement on the dramaTM and then shut up about it, you know, not make it worse, because I know myself.

I guess it would be hypocritical of me to not apologize.

I will step up and admit, I've been petty, I've been annoying as hell, I've been stubborn, and I have overdone myself more than once. I have not been gracious at many times and I completely understand people are upset about it. It was never my intention to hurt anybody, and I say this completely honestly. But holy shit, looking back, do I fucking jump to conclusions.

Also, for context, it hasn't helped that I'm not exactly in a good place mentally lately due to personal issues.

As a... I wouldn't say content creator, but as a writer and artist, I also struggle with criticism at times and I would be lying if I said that having critics, no matter how civil, is not a walk in the park. That we can all agree on. I imagine it's not fun, as a pretty anxious person myself, to have a few people call you out on some bullshit -regardless of if they're right or not- because, trust me, I have been there, and I should have been more mature, being aware of that. However, I will make the point that the "harassment campaign" you are talking about is just three or four mostly cloutless people complaining about immature behavior on part of a popular artist; on your end, we have the big names of the fandom overreacting at the plight, no matter how ridiculous, of a blogger that has a fraction of a fraction of your fame.

It would be dumb to pretend I have not stepped on people's toes or pushed their buttons the same way it would be dumb to pretend the other side hasn't done the same in differnet ways. So let me reiterate: I am genuinely sorry if I've made any of the people involved feel bad or insulted, though I would be very happy if they made the move to likewise apologize for their behavior, because it's not like I'm super happy about the way they've treated me. Once again, if you stay in your lane I'll also stay in mine and vice versa. Like. Sure. It wasn't good of me to vague other fans, I'm self aware enough to see that now, and I wish I had been able to see it earlier, but it isn't good of them to screenshot my blog and spread rumors about me, you know?

Let me be clear here: I don't want anybody to harrass anybody, go after anybody, or start any more shit. God knows I've already had enough and I wouldn't want to drag more people into this. Any sort of disagreement or beef there is in the fandom should stay between, well, the people affected, like that's OUR problem to sort out? Not yours? So please and for the love of all that's holy don't stoke the flames from this point on because right now we're all just angry and sad and scared and. Um. That doesn't feel great.

Cool?

Cool.

Anyway. I still stand by my opinions, and anybody who knows me knows I'll die on whatever hill, but I have no issue with admitting that an angry Doc is a very petulant and immature creature, and now I'm seeing the consequences. So. All I can say right now is that I sympathize with the fandom at large, understand why they're angry at me, and just... I suppose sit down and be more reasonable even in the face of people who aren't exactly being it. Turn the other cheek and all that.

All this aside, I'm glad we are... kinda cooling down, and having enough emotional maturity to not involve more folks. I'd hate if this got any bigger, and I'm sure that's something we all believe.

TL;DR: I've gone a bit too far and admit I've also overreacted in regards of the current fandom drama, and feel sorry for it. But also please it wouldn't kill you to do the same? I promise I will do my own thing from now on, just be a bit more chill next time someone complains about you. If I can admit I've been too belligerent so can anybody honestly.

[destinyc1020]

Idk about trusting Z, the record speaks for itself// I’m not just talking about romantic relationships I’m talking about her relationship with coworkers (Sam L), friends (Hunter), partners (Trevor&JE), Family. Most people that she surrounds herself with have either said or done horrible things and she still continuously praise and gives them flowers. At this point, it’s a choice, she isn’t dumb and young. And I’m sorry but I definitely question her in that regard.

Well, I've been saying this for a while, but I'll say it again....

Most ppl that have a working rlshp with someone def know that individual way better than we as fans do. We only see a small snippet of their personality, whereas they see SO much more because they've worked with them directly! They have a more well-rounded view of the person in other words.

So many ppl are so QUICK to cancel someone these days over any slight.... but yet won't use that same high moral compass for themselves 😏.... cuz I guarantee you, we ALL have said (and done) things in our lives that we weren't all that proud of also. 👀

Believe me, if Zendaya doesn't like someone, you WILL KNOW it lol. She will pay them DUST rofl 🤣 I trust her for the most part.... mainly coz she doesn't just give her friendship to everyone. Jmho

Z knows Hunter and all of the other ppl you mentioned in a much deeper way than the rest of us do, and I think we have to remember that ppl are not ALL BAD or evil, or all angelic. We ALL as individuals have good AND bad qualities to ourselves. That's just a fact of being an IMPERFECT human! 🤷🏾‍♀️

I will never pretend to know a celebrity as well as their peers do. I just can't. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I'm still not sure why Z seems to have such an obsessive bond with Sam 👀, but maybe their bond comes from the fact that he's been very crucial to her career and learning and growing in this industry. I just wish she would have latched on to someone else for that growth and longevity working rlshp. 🥴 👀

I also try to keep in mind that most ppl are multifaceted and complex. AndWhile you only saw the bad comment that person said in the media, meanwhile, maybe Z (and others who know them well) saw the sweet msgs they sent bts when they were feeling down, or the sweet gifts they gave, or they know what that person has had to endure in life etc.

Re: Trevor....

I think we should give her a break/pass for this. Wasn't she like 16 when she got with him? 🥴 How many of you made the BEST decisions when you were 16 lol? 😂 Plus, Trevor was probably a very sweet kid in his teens. People are not all villains like some cookie-cutter antagonist in a movie or smthg. He was probably a really nice guy at the outset, but then made mistakes and committed infidelities along the way in their rlshp. It wasn't right, but I doubt he was all bad towards her.

Re: JE....

Did it ever occur to anyone that MAYBE he was actually nice to her? I mean, aside from the fact that he was def a rebound and her judgment was already kinda clouded anyway lol, I think ppl need to keep in mind too that perhaps he was actually NICE to her on most occasions. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Keep in mind too that he was her costar, and they formed a friendship on set during season 1 of Euphoria, so of course she knew him in ways that we didn't know him. They probably also had a lot in common!

If the rumors/gossip is true, then he ended up being kind of a jerk towards the end, but I doubt he started off that way. I don't think that Z surrounds herself with JERKS, and I doubt she would have even agreed to date him in the first place if he had been so horrible towards her. Z could have practically ANY man in Hollywood lol.... she didn't need JE specifically in order to have a rebound. Shih.... are you kidding me lol? If she decided to date him, it's cuz she liked him, plain and simple. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I know we joke about Rat Tail and Big Foot all the time on here lol 😆, but I think ppl also need to keep in mind that we don't know these ppl personally, and more than likely, these individuals are not ALL evil. They do have some good qualities... otherwise ppl would never speak well of them at all lol.

I also feel like having a working rlshp with someone is more than likely what most costars are talking about when they speak highly of someone in the press.

I still think that Z (being the overthinking, high-moral Virgo that she is lol) has a pretty good read on ppl, and she keeps her circles VERY small... so if she's allowed someone into her circle, or seems to like them as a person, it's usually because they are pretty decent?🤷🏾‍♀️

Like I said before, if Z doesn't like someone, she won't even act like they exist rofl 🤣

Anyway, let me get off my soapbox lol 😆

[jayjtheunsispiciousmelodicathem]

I was tagged by @rayatii, so here I go

1. Are you named after anyone?

As far as I'm aware, no. Unless you consider nicknaming myself to count for this, then probably after James from the pokemon anime, and

2. When was the last time you cried?

Several weeks ago when I told a homophobe to shut up and somehow not getting beaten up by him, and then later when I told my mum about that I also came out to her - tears of both fear and happiness

3. Do you have kids?

Nope. I'm not great parent material to be honest.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I'm not really sure, I can't really tell sarcasm when I see it, that includes myself, so if you see me using the "/s" tone indicator know I'm rolling my dice there /gen

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

Chess and currently learning some of the tournament card games. These are sports no matter what you think qualifies as sport - football is also a game and yet it's counted as sport. Either way if that answer doesn't suffice, I was pretty big on basketball in middle school, and the boys bullied me for it in middle school. Then they realised that it's actually kinda fun, and I have fallen out of practice by that time, and grew to hate it like most other physical game-sports.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people?

Their linguistic quirks. Accents, regional words, peculiar mispronunciations, particular patterns of misspelling things.

7. What’s your eye color?

Deep brown, can't tell the exact shade. a mutual friend of Raya and I said once that I have "very loyal eyes" to compare them to the colour of brown dog eyes.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. I want to see my blorbos happy. Although if "bittersweet" was an option here, I'd go for that.

9. Any special talents?

I don't consider myself talented in any particular way, but I know my friends would send me strongly worded PMs if I gave that as my answer, so I'll say, what many of them always put at the forefront of the good stuff about me, "Good at learning languages", and personally I'd also say "Pattern recognition" (especially when it comes to languages)

10. Where were you born?

Masuria (southern part of former East Prussia, WHICH SHOULD NOT BE CALLED EAST PRUSSIA, "EAST" PRUSSIA WAS THE ORIGINAL PRUSSIA, THEN ONE OF THE PRUSSIAN RULERS GOT BRANDENBURG INTO HIS COUNTRY AND CALLED THE WHOLE THING PRUSSIA, AND NONSENSICALLY RENAMED PRUSSIA PROPER "EAST", LIKE THERE'S MANY DUMB NAMES IN THE WORLD BUT EAST PRUSSIA TAKES THE FUCKING CAKE), Poland

11. What are your hobbies?

Learning languages, learning about languages, playing ttRPGs, learning ttRPGs, writing (poetry and prose), reading (mostly prose but I like poetry too), traditional board games, traditional card games, modern board games, modern card games, zelda, graeco-roman mythology, mythology, history (chiefly before Napoleon) and many many more. I can already think of some stuff I missed but I don't want to make this post infinitely long

12. Do you have any pets?

Not I myself but my family has three cats! A tabby named Kati, a british shorthair named Boniface, and a ragdoll named Lucifer. We also used to have a yorkshire terrier named Little Knot (translating from the polish name, we don't have the same connotation of knot in regards to canine genitalia, the original name is Supełek)

13. How tall are you?

Last time I checked, 173cm

14. Favorite subject?

Language stuff. RPG stuff. too much stuff.

15. Dream job?

not one in mind. I thought I wanted to be a translator but with how I'm doing in college, I doubt I'd become that :')

and now for the 15 other people, lessee... @awerzo @nerothething @angeloftheeasterngate @carrotsareaces @quilveor @leosoularrow @cutthroatchorus @kettukakku-blog @mrvauxs @norislandia @hedgerian and I think that's about the extent to which I can name people off the top of my head have fun!

[the-firebird69]

It's a huge deal that you don't listen to warnings and stuff and we'll see how it goes. And what happened was horrible and our son doesn't know yet either. You were out there on the battlefield and you still are and didn't work right your still sending more but here's the point. You're the home front and you're saying things that are very evil and it brings a tear to the eye what you idiots say. You say it to him all the time and really he doesn't have any use for you so I'm not sure why you keep saying it. You're repulsive group of idiot too meaning it's hard to be around you and you're sick and you're stupid and you constantly start fights. We don't have any time for you either you don't believe in your program and stuff and keep threatening him were going to get rid of you. So your position is wrong for us and your attitude and demeanor. We just keep on doing it and doing it and you just keep on getting hit and you're going to get out there now all over the place it's very significant numbers. As your troops are attacking these prime targets you're fat asses in the way, they hear you taunting them as people who are in the cities and towns that you're taunting. In most cities and towns they put out a general alert that you are armed and dangerous it needs to be shot on site no matter what you're up to and it's gross and fat ass comes bubbling out of a house usually fat and your dumb face and get shot almost immediately. You getting shot here too nobody wants you in this town I'm tired of talking to people who don't listen at all same walking around talking back saying stupid s*** they're coming here with a buzz saw and teach you some manners. He said that you're quiet for like 10 minutes it was amazing he said I guess they don't lk our choppers. A little later once stood up and said we like him where are they and stuff like that so our son said you must be the bait and he shut up later on that night with his house with a nice chopper we both went through for like five miles and I found the rounds. Well they did not find the rounds but they did go through victims and several houses. Then into the woods. Now he said not to talk that way to us and we message we meant it and their bodies were exploded from inertia.

There are so many of you imbiciles dying because of your mouth you probably won't be able to attack anybody in the next round. This just keeps going your, stupid talk morlok. We have answers for you and they're coming out right now.

-more than half you are gone from last nights adventure, literally your number was ripped in half it's like 17% down to 8.5% roughly it's more like 9% but it's half. You're rushing to get to 8%. It's a big huge mistake they made and they're still making it. They're having their people try and oppress people and it is not going well and I'm trying to take stuff and it's not going well they are getting your asses handed to them and they are vowing to go after you and for the last person they say it. It's expensive. Your talk. And they are wanting to tax on your areas and on your person cuz you won't shut your stupid mouth how do we get it they need to stop traveling and they won't they're horrible people. Huge difference between yesterday and today regarding the population level let's try again along with planning and telling people off and telling people what you're doing you decided to get up and stick your fat asses right in the way of them going to monitor the Battle. them they were piling in just sitting there.

Tommy F notice this and hit you piles and you fell. They're about 8 trillion a hole waiting to go down in at The tap Root holes in the about 20 of them. And yes about 160 trillion were extinguished at the same time and it also holds true of the battles with the clones over other things and put other places that you are going down to fight them in Australia for example in the cavern and it's not over a ship, at that location it was about 40 trillion so there were several locations like that but totally 50 trillion and now we're up to 210 trillion. There are several locations are standing around or sitting around and you're getting ready for this huge attack on USA and Tommy f found you, and struck you down for trying to hit him. Another 100 trillion $310 trillion total. There's one more place that you are gathering and it was to hit people in the middle areas and he's not very happy with you and he extinguished all of them almost 200 trillion and he said put all this fat little assholes lined up waiting to get hit cuz you want to defending yourself and his troops were hitting you. 510 trillion so far and we have to add in the fact that you were going in the holes already and that people out in society hitting you for your big mouth couple big numbers the first one is 100 trillion and the second one is 200 trillion it is to 800 trillion. Which is 4% roughly almost 5%. And yes there are 17% the other day lastly brought down to 12% and 7 or 8% are on the island leaving 4% off Island

In other words you took massive massive hits last night and it shouldn't be sitting there saying anything I would get out to these two frolicking around bothering our son like nothing happened are huge losers.

It's a lot of loss and you're losing more as we speak and numbers have gone up you have lost about 10% more about 50 trillion of your population and that would bring your number down to about 4% off Island and about 8% on Island that's pitiful. And our son says it's about the number that bja wants and we're saying that's probably truthfull

Thor Freya

Olympus

Hera

[latinha23]

I agree. I think she's total trash and cannot imagine why he's with her. I guess you're right about him wanting companionship, but he surely could find someone better for that purpose... She's pretty and all that, but incredibly hateful and a total moron QAnon person. And I guess he is too. It's weird because a lot of his friends appear to be progressives/liberals and yet he's with her. His silence on her beliefs is deafening. Additionally, those friends have very little to do with her, if social media is to be believed.

I think for "normal" people a 9-year age gap between the two is significant, but in this specific situation, I agree that the gap isn't. I'm not in Hollywood or anything like it, but I dated a guy in my mid to late 20s who was around 9 or 10 years older than me and it was kind of weird in hindsight. Generally, someone in their mid-30s is in their career whereas someone in their 20s is at the beginning. IDK - it's different. They both seem pretty immature. I'm not sure if his bipolar lends to that or not.

I think same, besides his friends mostly date then...

But he definitely finds anyone way better than her! (I don’t think she’s pretty... being very honest, apart from all the filters and edits, I really don’t think so!! But taste is taste haha). Yes! She’s, but I don’t know about him I’ve never seen anything about it, but he’s not Trump’s supporter at least lol… but I think that’s surreal, I don’t like extremist people (no matter what area it is, I find it very boring!! And whether they like it or not end up being “dumb” because they close their minds as if it were absolute truth and learn nothing else). I definitely don’t understand what she’s doing there either, she doesn’t fit into ANYTHING in his life... all his friends, family, himself... she’s completely different… I think his friends/family ONLY tolerate her. 🫠 I also think it’s very strange he never commented on anything, but I wonder what that would be like? And if she’s like that in real life too, because she’s already said she does things online to confuse people 🤡 So it’s really someone you can’t trust or understand.

I understand what you mean anon, but I don’t think it’s that way... since the world is the world the relationship between a younger woman and someone older is romanticized, (unfortunately!!!) And for many people the “normal” is this... it’s more “beautiful/accepted” for a girl to be with an older guy than a younger, while when the woman is older than the man is “ugly/badly seen”. I understand that for you it must have been strange, especially when one starts demanding things and control stuff (I hope you’ve been well 🥺💚) I don’t care about age (as long as they are both adults lol) I’m only 24, but I’ve been with people aged 39 and 18... and in my case the 18 was more mature than the 39 lol, I believe some of the things that make something work is: matching vibe, visions of the future that walk together, admiration, respect and dialogue... without these things everything becomes more difficult. And yes! He’ll be 36, already has his career, stability, his goals and plans... she is 27 and “has nothing”, but it’s not her age’s fault... Everyone saw she always wanted an easy life, she never really wanted to work, she prefers to make money with her body… It seems she likes to be supported by people while she only smiling and waving… they are her choices, !!!I don’t judge!!!

I also see they are immature, but in different areas and she is totally different from his other exes or anyone he relates to, “it’s a red dot in the middle of black”... regarding bipolarity I don’t know, I’m also bipolar and he says he does treatment... I really don’t know if this is an episode or breakdown or not 😕

[acourtofthought]

"why are you dummies so obsessed with pretending to be upset over azriel feeling only lust for elain (canonically not true no matter how many times y'all use the same dumb takes to convience yourselves you're right when you're just proving you need to take some reading class)"

Azriel's thoughts in canon:

(...)"So you'll what?" Rhys's voice was pure ice. "Seduce her away from him?"

Azriel said nothing. He hadn't gotten that far with his planning, CERTAINLY NOT BEYOND the fantasies he pleasured himself to.

We don't have to call it only lust if it angers y'all so much, but this sure as hell ain't love. Go fight the author for writing this.

Also.. Rowan trained Aelin and very much bullied her. Rhys tought Feyre how to read and write. Cassian trains Nesta and y'all are bragging about Azriel teaching Elain some spy crap- the double standards are showing, dear anon. Now, go out and breathe some fresh air, you clearly need it.

What you said.

Az training a fully grown female (Gwyn) isn't dirty or wrong just like Rhys training Feyre wasn't wrong (mates). Cassian training Nesta wasn't wrong (mates). These females are considered adults in the eyes of the author so there's no point in trying to argue against it.

Also, Gwyn being sheltered does not exclude her from having an intimate relationship with someone. If anything, it's the sheltered ones who are most curious because they haven't been in a position to experience things the way others have. It's up to her to decide when she's ready to take those steps with someone, regardless of her past.

"Certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to". I don't care what happened prior to this comment because that is the culmination of it all. Regardless of how we interpreted their previous interactions, Az laid it all out with that sentence. His thoughts of actually being with Elain, regardless of staring at her gift on his nightstand, regardless of their moments in the garden, have not gone beyond his sexual fantasies. One person might say "he stares at her gift! He loves her". But Az himself seems to disagree. You usually envision a future with the people you love. Have thoughts about them that don't just involve the physical. All those cute and sweet moments and Az has never imagined anything with Elain beyond sex. All those cute moments and Az doesn't have anything at all to say about Elain as a person that he likes, genuinely likes.

If a person you were interested said, "I haven't thought of a future for us beyond hooking up" AND "I'm unable to answer a question regarding whether or not I'm over the last girl I was in love with" would you HONESTLY believe that to be someone who wanted a relationship with you? Would you truly want a relationship with them?

[delu-jean]

𝐔𝐖𝐔

(Porco x fem!reader) -> Fluff -> 1.3K

Synopsis: Porco figures out he has feelings for you, and has a hard time conveying it. 

Notes: This one has been in the drafts for over a month? Haha, wanted to post it before I would forget. Hope y’all enjoy! 

(Regarding Lyrics): If bolded and slanted (eg: you), they’re lyrics being said. If not (eg: you), then they’re just lyrics/text! 

Also, “Uwu” Is a song by the one and only “Chevy!” Please do listen while reading! 

“Your stupid face makes me insane”

“And every time I try to unwrap the pain I feel so ashamed” 

I'm startin' to feel some sort of way

Porco never thought there’d be a day where he would admit he had feelings...at all...for you especially. Both of you knew each other for as long as he had been a candidate. Knowing that, it was a very long time. Since that was the case, he had always seen you as a younger sister (and vice versa). Only as of recently did things start to change. 

It started when he noticed the dynamic between the both of you started to shift. You started to spend less time with him, and being himself, he was both clueless and annoyed. He didn’t understand as to why you started to distance yourself,  little by little. To then know what your reasoning was later on. 

“I heard Y/n likes Porco.” 

“But he’s like her brother?...how does that even happen?” 

Many of your comrades had spread these rumors, which eventually reached Porco. At first, he thought the exact same thing. ‘Y/n’s like my sister, why would she ever?’ But as he started to piece your side of things, he slowly started to discover his perspective as well. Though it took him a while to connect the dots, he eventually did and realized how he felt towards you. Though this was the case, he made sure to make things as subtle as possible, just in case the rumors were just rumors.

He made the effort to talk with you whenever he could. Not only did he like you, but he missed talking to you. And to be frank, he found it kind of dumb that feelings stopped your conversations. Since you were the only person he could really open up to (after Marcel’s passing), you missing in his life wasn't the best feeling in the world. At first, you were a little confused since it was out of the blue, but eventually, you started to familiarize yourself with him (yet again).

On one of the days you both talked, you opened up about how your face was something you were insecure about. Of course, he thought it was lovely, but failed to convey that. When it came to those around him, he came off as an okay person, somewhat caring, yet brash. With you though, he tried to be as real as possible, and emphasized his traits when doing so. But now that events had happened, and variables had changed, he found it harder to express himself as easily as before (which made him look stuck up in your perspective). This was ironic stating that “he found it kind of dumb that feelings stopped your conversations.” So when you were asked (by the man himself) to smile, his only response was: 

And when you look at me and smile I wanna say

"I think you're okay," even though you knew him somewhat, it still sucked to hear such a response. You knew sometimes he could be straight up brutal with his statements, and because of that, you decided to stop. He then looked at you confused. 

“Why did you stop?”

“Hm...nothing.” 

Oh but you don't know how I feel, mm

He sighed and then crossed his arms. What else was he supposed to say? He didn't know, and knew for a fact that you wouldn’t like it if he remarked on such beauty. Or...that’s what he thought at least.

Although his thoughts exclaimed such thinking, all you wanted was for him to humble himself enough so you both could meet eye to eye. The problem was, it wasn’t that he was being cocky with you, rather, he just lacked the communication needed. 

“You know...you don’t have to be that blunt...if you think I’m ‘okay,’ you could at least let me down slowly,” you said to his surprise.

“Me...being blunt?”

“Yeah…”

“I wasn’t though?”

“Then what did you mean?” 

‘Your stupid face makes me insane, My heart feels like it's trapped up in cellophane.’ 

He then stood there. Though he thought that, he knew telling you would conclude in his intention being misinterpreted. For goodness sake, he knew this would be the case until he decided to be direct with you. It annoyed him how he was acting because for all he knew, he might’ve been treating you even worse than Reiner. And that was something he most definitely did not want, but seeing that you haven’t talked back until now, was a sign he wasn’t...during the time before at least. 

“Porco?” you asked, for him to then look at you. 

“Oh...I meant it as your smile is okay...meaning it’s good,” you didn’t look content with his answer, but decided not to rebuttal as you were irritated. He could tell and decided to loosen up, knowing he made a mistake with his wording.

 “And every time I try to unwrap the pain. I feel so ashamed,”  he whispered. 

“Pardon?” 

“It's like everyday I'm runnin' uphill, trying to reach you with the right words. I’m sorry for sounding so insincere, but I do think your smile is beautiful, along with your face, and...just you in general,” you looked uncertain as he placed a hand on your cheek. 

‘Oh, why can't I just spit it out and tell you right now. That “you're the one I want” out loud?’

“I’m being truthful, I really do think this way. I know you doubt my character at times, but don’t let my sincerity be something you question. Plus, you know how serious it can be...especially with Reiner,” he smirked and you laughed. 

“Which reminds me…”

“Hm?” you questioned as he looked to the side.

He wanted to see if those rumors were true, if maybe you felt the way that he did, or if he was falling for you one-sidedly. He needed to confirm things, that way, he wouldn’t have to keep acting like this. Yet something kept him from doing so. Was it that he was embarrassed, flushed, pessimistic? He wasn’t sure, but whatever the reason, what really got his heart stopping, was you. 

He then noted how his hand was still caressing your cheek. It felt so soft and plumped, reddened and petite, he couldn't help but mutter: 

"Adorable…"

How your eyes trailed and latched onto him. The way you stood there stiffly, yet relaxed in his hold, made him blush. So much to the point he had to look away. He was surprised you allowed him near you after such a comment. Maybe that was a sign?...maybe not?...Neither was he sure nor ready to confront that thought. 

He sighed and then let you go. You were a little bit disappointed to say the least, but still waited for him to answer. You could tell he was flustered since Proco...was just so easy to read (visually). Well, at least he was to you. 

“It’s nothing,” he then put his hands in his pockets. 

“Are you sure?” you asked for him to then sigh. 

“Yes...I’m sure. Anyways...I’ve missed you for quite some time-”

“Yeah...since I disappeared on you for a bit. I’m sorry for that, I just...had to think things through.” 

“Things such as?” Now that you thought about it, you weren’t sure if you were ready for confrontation either. That being the case, you made up an excuse: 

“Nothing...just something I needed to reflect on myself.” 

“Hm, I see.” 

“Was she hesitating?” he thought to himself.

 I guess I'll stop here and not hint at all. That you're the one I've fallen for

“I think I’ll get going now, see you later Porco,” you decided not to drag the conversation any longer, knowing that something might have happened. But Porco thought otherwise as he grabbed your wrist, and spun you around. You were both shocked and a little red to say the least. Both thinking as to what just happened, and what he was thinking.  

“Y/n...if you ever think of me as anything more, I'll be here at your call,” forget not being able to tell you, he had to. This might’ve been his best chance, plus, he didn’t want to let it slip just because he was scared. Not only that, but you deserved to know how he truly thought about you, and why he’s been such a jerk for the past time. 

“That meaning?...” 

“Meaning you’re the one I want,” out loud. 

[jademakean]

𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

Timothée Chalamet x Reader

𝑷𝒂𝒖𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔.

｡･:*:･ﾟ

  Drizzles of water began coating your body as you rushed to your best friend's porch, hurriedly knocking on the wooden door.

The extra holiday break from school allowed you to spend more time with Pauline, meaning: chaotic sleepovers

“Hello?”

You looked up meeting a pair of green eyes you hadn't seen in a long while. “Timothée?”

Once the slender figure came to the realization of who was waiting at his front step, his mouth went agape mirroring yours.

You both had been close since you were little. You became friends with Pauline in middle school and met Timothée through her. From then on you were a trio and would do everything together, but that all changed.

Him, being three years older than you meant that he'd go to college first and in the end, there would simply not be any time for you both to be together. You did try to hang out once every two weeks but his college was way too far and he needed to spend his time focussing on his studies. It ended in a bad note, with many hurtful words shared.

Before you knew it, Timothée had you in bone-crushing embrace  “I haven't seen you in months, more than a year maybe! God, I missed you.”

“Why didn't you tell me you came back?” you couldn't hide the slight disappointment of him not thinking about letting you know. “I wanted to but I switched phone numbers and my sister wanted me to surprise you instead. I just didn't know I was going to see you this soon.”

Though you both shared your relief in seeing each, there was some strange tension in the air.

“I gotta visit my aunt right now but we should celebrate tomorrow or something.” He suggested, breaking the silence.

“Yeah totally. I'm sleeping over anyways so we'll probably see each other after dinner. Just be careful, the weather seems to be getting worse.”

“Oh yeah of course. If you need some clothes you can get some from my room, they're in a box on my bed. I know that Pauline's clothes are too small for any human being to wear.”

You giggled at his over-exaggeration nodding “Thanks. Stay safe.”

Once the door shut you felt your mood change. It's not like you weren't happy to see him, you were, but not being able to have the same connection you once had made your heartache.

“DJ Paulina in the house mother fuckers!”

You jumped at your best friend's sudden outburst but laughed nevertheless.

“Holy shit, you're wetter than the pacific ocean!”

You roller your eyes “Really? Damn, I wonder why. It's alright though, Timothée allowed me to borrow one of his shirts.”

“Wait you already saw Timothée?”

“Yeah, he just left.”

Paulina grimaced slightly knowing how hard it might've been for two introverts to reunite after a long period of time, let alone after they had a fight last time they were together. She quickly changed the subject not wanting to upset you.

That didn't mean she wouldn't plan on rebuilding your bond.

۵

The snaps of thunder kept you awake and the heavy drops of rain overtook your mind.

As the time pasted you began wondering what would happen if there was a monster under your bed, if a ghost yanked you by your leg, or if the shadow of the hanging coat was actually a person.

Full-on scaring yourself.

And Pauline's sleep talking was not helping the situation.

Both of you spent the day baking, eating and watching movies. Though it's not how most teenagers take up the opportunity of an empty house, it was more than enough for you two.

What was irritating you at this precise moment was the fact that you were exhausted during the day and still are, except you, can't bring yourself to actually fall asleep.

Creaking sounds were heard throughout the room as your feet made contact with the wooden floor.

You grumbled making your way to the kitchen for a cup of fresh cold water.

The bright electronic clock on the stove displayed the time. 2:23 A.M.

You were so dazed and distracted by the clock that before you could fill your glass with water, the cup fell on the counter.

You felt your heart stop the second the loud sound emitted throughout the quiet space, fearing you'd break your best friend's parent's glass. But once you realized that everything was still stable, you proceeded to finish your plan.

“What are you doing still awake?”

Your body jumped at those words. You turned to see Timothée with hooded eyes and slumped figure, clearly more than half asleep.

“Sorry, I'm a light sleeper and the thunder was keeping me awake.”

“Do you want to sleep with me?”

He smiled softly with a droopy gaze

Not gonna lie, initially some inappropriate thoughts crossed your mind, but vanished once you remembered how every time you had trouble falling asleep, you'd get in his bed and he'd make conversation until you fell asleep.

“Sure.”

Timothée was probably too out of it to understand why it had taken you so look to answer, which you were grateful for.

He lazily intertwined your fingers and led you to his room.

It looked the same as before, maybe some items we're missing so he'd be able to decorate his new apartment, but other than that, still the same.

You hesitantly laid down turning your body away from the curly-headed boy. You felt yourself heating up as last time you shared a bed you were a quite innocent 15-year-old, and to be fair you've always seen him as a bother figure.

But two years have passed and he was now 20, it felt like being with a stranger even though he wasn't.

“You alright?”

He mumbled quietly

“Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.” You chewed your lip anxiously. You've never been good at confronting people.

“Is there a reason why you got mad at me when you left. All I remember was you telling me how we couldn't be friends because of all the work you had and how you couldn't handle too many things at the same time. But in the end, you suddenly got mad at me and it ended in a huge fight.”

You could tell that Timothée was now fully awake, definitely not expecting you to mention the topic at this time of night.

“Well, in all honestly I knew you wouldn't want to give up on our friendship. I've always seen you as a loyal strong friend and I didn't want to disappoint you by continuously bailing out on our plans.”

Thought his solution was a stupid one, you understood what he meant. You would most definitely get let down many times and eventually get mad at him, even if it wasn't fully his fault.

“I understand. Just-- Just don't do that again. I'd rather have a relationship with you even if we rarely saw each other, instead of not seeing you at all. I miss being with you.”

Timothée's heavy arm hugged you closer to him. So close you could feel his gentle heartbeat against your back.

“I'm not as much of a mess I was back in the first year of college. I have more spare time, even if college is too far we can face time and meet once a month.”

It was nice to witness his change in attitude regarding the situation, he's now more open-minded and optimistic.

“Is that why you seemed so tense when you saw me today?”

You suddenly felt yourself redden from slight embarrassment “I mean yeah. I kinda overreact a lot, but you know that. I didn't even recognize you, you've changed and I didn't know how to feel.”

You felt chest shake from a deep chuckle as you played with his fingers “Is that a good thing?”

He was making you flustered and he knew it.

“I mean, yeah. You look mature for a 20-year-old. When you were 18 you still had your baby face- it's not a bad thing at all, but now you, um, okay I'm just going to stop talking.”

Once again, Timothée's body shook slightly from his laughter which eventually died down.

There was silence once again, the downpour was hitting the window aggressively but managed to make you feel calm. The heat that radiated from the man's body was wrapping you in a warm blanket, his cold breath tickling your neck.

“How do you see me?

The silence was halted by your simple question “What do you mean?” his raspy voice asked, not understanding the question very well.

“Before you said that you saw me as a loyal friend. How do you see me now?”

Timothée turned your body to face him “Well, you've changed as well. You don't look like a little kid anymore.”

You hummed in response staring into his eyes. The moonlight was shining through the window behind Timothée, illuminating his hair, making it look as though he was wearing a halo around his head.

“Has anything interesting happened while I was gone? House renovations, dead grandma, boyfriends..?”

You had to cover your mouth from bursting out laughing “How the hell do you go from dead grandma to boyfriends?”

The boy shrugged his shoulders waiting for an answer “I had a boyfriend for a little while but it didn't work out.”

Timothée nodded for you to keep going

“He treated me differently when we were around his friends, kinda like he didn't want me. We would get into a lot of arguments and I just wasn't happy. So I ended it.”

He took your hand caressing it carefully with his thumb. You knew he was trying to make you feel better though you weren't actually sad about the breakup. You decided not to say anything against it since his action-filled your heart with butterflies.

“He's an asshole for doing that.”

“Yeah well, most of them are.”

There was a small pause in the air before Timothée spoke up again

“I wouldn't do that to you.”

You were taken aback from his sudden confession. You expected him to joke around about some dumb stereotypes.

“If you were my boyfriend, or just in general?” you asked genuinely curious to which he answered:

“Both.”

You being the anxious human being you are, decided to play it off as a joke. Like always.

“Yeah right, you would never date me, you might as well be one of those extra frat boys that-”

“Why would you assume I wouldn't date you.”

You were becoming more and more agitated, not fully grasping the meaning of his words, and why he was now saying it.

“I've always adored you. The reason why I never said anything is because I'm three years older than you and didn't want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Why are you saying this now?” You shuttered out as he moved closer to your body.

“I didn't realize how much I loved you until we separated. Now I'm realizing how much time I wasted.”

Timothée began breathing heavily, his eyes focusing on the different features your face held.

“Would you date me now?”

He nodded, not trusting his voice to speak. “Even if we wouldn't see each other often?”

He nodded once again, this time speaking “I haven't seen you in two years and I still have feelings for you, they won't go away even if I tried.”

Timothée let his fingers gently brush against your lips studying them thoroughly making your mind hazy.

You were so focussed on each other that the background noise was now muffled.

Your mouths were agape wanting one thing and one thing only.

“Can I kiss you?”

He whispered breathlessly. If he wasn't studying you so closely he would have missed your little nod.

But he didn't miss it.

The second the small gesture was caught, was the second his lips made contact with yours.

The kiss was heated and desperate, your eyebrows furrowed hopelessly from the connection. Tongues soon intertwining as Timothée held himself on top of you for better control of the situation. Not giving you room to escape.

You sighed through your nose not being able to break from the kiss, not wanting to break from the kiss.

His front pressed flush against yours, allowing his hands to travel all over your body with no hesitation.

You mumbled Timothée's name against his lips before you broke apart. “Did I go too far?”

You smiled at his worried state “No, I loved every second of it.”

He copied your smile resting his forehead on yours “Sorry, I could help myself.”

He laid on his back before you cuddled to his side, leg wrapped with his and head resting on his shoulder.

Timothée observed your crimson cheeks and swollen lips. He wanted to tease you about it but he knew damn well that he looked the exact same.

Sleep eventually took over you. The soothing sound of the storm was the last thing you heard, and the motion of Timothée's chest calmly rising and falling was the last thing you felt.