#i'm still all over the place maybe i'll do a real post on this ep soon

[carefulfears]

Yes! It’s especially insane with Phoebe bc like the show goes out of it’s way to explicitly show how fucked up she was idk how people forget it

yep yep yep!! it's quite literally the entire point of the episode. but i still see people all the time like...calling mulder stupid for "trusting" her and making jokes about the way he behaves around her and it's just like...please don't piss me off. same exact thing with diana.

fire is one of my favorite episodes though i think it's such an interesting look at mulder's character and example of the ways that he views and interacts with people close to him

because he understands and acknowledges from the very beginning that phoebe's just there to fuck with him, that she made the trip from boston to DC to bring him in on the investigation for no reason other than knowing that it will scare him

he knows what she’s doing, and he still agrees to help her

his only concession being that scully not be involved

noting that he's not going to "put her through" phoebe's games

this is something that we've seen him do before, with his former partner jerry earlier in season one, who broke into his office and stole his work.

it's clear throughout ghost in the machine that mulder isn't comfortable working with him, but helps him anyway because jerry asked him to

and builds him up when jerry is feeling insecure

he infamously does it again with diana, always affording her the benefit of the doubt and defending her

and with his parents, consistently coming whenever they call, despite all of their lies and neglect

(side note from pulling ghost in the machine caps but his ties in this ep are soooo classic baby spooky i miss s1 soooo much)

anyway, this is the dynamic that fire circles around, and the only time in the episode that mulder pushes back against phoebe is when he cracks this joke about having a "refined technique" with women who cheat

which he apologizes for instantly, recognizing that it upset her

fire is also one of the best portrayals of the true sign of a toxic/abusive relationship: not realizing anything is wrong with it until you tell your best friend

i see criticism of this episode sometimes that interprets it as glorifying phoebe, portraying her as sexy and her behavior as righteous, but i disagree.

i don't think that you can base the episode's stance on phoebe on mulder's behavior, he's responding to her through a very warped and controlled lens. just because he views her in a positive light, doesn't mean that we should as the audience.

whereas, scully is immediately wary of phoebe and critical of her, even before knowing the context for her actions.

this shot is my favorite lmao. she is contemplating murder. she is wondering if she could get away with it.

her lil passive aggressive "bye bitch" finger wave

her "mmmmyeah sure sherlock"

her watchful eye as she hangs in the doorway while mulder and phoebe meet with the arson specialist

she literally sits at his desk in his chair and waits for him just to make this sherlock holmes joke 😭😭😭 they are BEST friends

now, this is when she finds out the true history with phoebe, and the reason behind her visit. and it's when mulder tells her that she's off the case.

and from that point, scully starts investigating the murders herself, consulting her own sources to put together her own theories

while these two do absolutely fuck all

she shows up uninvited at the event in boston, having SOLVED THE CASE HER-FUCKING-SELF

and she's the only one who gives a fuck when mulder gets hurt

while phoebe shakes hands and schmoozes at the party

sweetie pie making sure her partner gets some water and some rest

now, dana 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

after making sure mulder is okay (and getting a peek at him shirtless) she shows him the evidence that she found, telling him that she just "didn't know a whole lot about arson" so took the opportunity to do some research "for my own edification, of course" GIRLLLLL

and they identify the groundskeeper as the murderer based on the information that she gathered

the face of a woman who single-handedly solved a string of serial murders to get her best friend's bitch of an ex away from him. she is truly an inspiration to us all.

and she has 1 more sherlock holmes joke in her.

so, anyway, mulder is visibly uncomfortable around phoebe from the start, and this is something that scully picks up on immediately, even before being told any information about phoebe or her motives

and this is an ongoing theme from the very beginning, as mulder is generally unaggressive and compassionate to a fault, leaving scully feeling a responsibility to be conscious and wary of their surroundings.

scully isn't being jealous towards phoebe, just like she isn't "taking things personally" with diana. she understands this about mulder and how exploitable it is, and she's fiercely protective of both him and the kindhearted qualities that leave him vulnerable to these situations

anyway TLDR let me see any of you call either of them stupid again

[thegeminisage]

tng update time. last night we watched "datalore" together and this morning i caught "angel one" on my own

datalore: not terrible!! i felt really bad for data the entire time of course. kind of delighted to find out he is amnesiac-adjacent in this episode, at least as far as not knowing where he comes from or why. i've gotten used to thinking of him as friend-shaped but lore reminded me of just how creepy he actually does look because he was making the creepy faces

the planet and lab were cool though it was hilarious that one of the pieces was just an ass with the crotch faced away from us to protect data's modesty lol

i liked the bit about data having an off switch.it is ironically such a human vulnerability. we have those too! it's called head trauma.

ik what i said about picard not being a dick anymore but i noticed he IS still a dick sometimes and it's mostly to either wesley (valid) or data (may he DIE). i was glad data told him not to call lore "it" and that he APOLOGIZED. he should apologize to data more often

lore is literally just a data who is better at masking btw. like thats all it is. he thinks using contractions makes him allistic and he's like ha ha look at me i'm better than you meanwhile he has to use a little laser to remove his own facial tick and his special interest is murdering humans and good for him

one thing i HATED about this ep was once again wesley made a valid point and everyone told him to fuck off. meanwhile whenever hes fucking around they let him do whatever he wants. this is making me CRRRAZY. all this stuff about you would have listened to me if i was an adult!! i'll kill the little brat myself

however the episode was immediately rescued by the appearance of this meme:

which sent me immediately into screaming hysterics because i was NOT expecting to see it in its original format here. i quite literally had to pause the episode and explain this meme to catherine with tears running down my face

angel one: not as bad as the skip/watch lists led me to believe (i didnt have to play it on 2x speed for example) but still pretty fucking terrible. oh what if WOMEN were in charge wouldnt that be WEIRD AND SCARY? meanwhile the women are wearing what pretends to be "no makeup" in 1987 and theyre super fucking hot

i thought that blonde chick was rthe one from tos's backdoor pilot and even looked it up but no she just moves her face the same way

riker's slut outfit really was something. he was such a good sport about it that i thought it was kind of mean of deanna and tasha to laugh at him but considering how women are treated on this show they deserve to actually. tasha especially.

absolutely bonkers that he tried to turn the head woman down and she slept with him anyway. close encounters of the space babes riker version??? quite literally the man said i'm not an object to be seduced and then he got seduced. wild

anyway, the morals of this were all over the place. they cant remove these people bc theyre not bound by the prime directive but they literally are interfering with this planet's system of laws etc...also the fact that like everyone is arguing for gender equality when the genders are reversed is all well and good when they live in a utopian society where genders are equal but we live and star trek was made in the real world where the genders are NOT equal so it just comes out sounding like but what about the meeeeen?? i mean. what about them?? sorry.

i. HATED. the b-plot of this episode. everyone's like oh no i wonder how this virus spreads! and then they allow worf to stay on the bridge while he does those dad sneezes. maybe this episode should have been before the other to explain data's sudden hyperfixation on learning to sneeze lol. like ik all infectious disease media hits different post pandemic but jesus christ we had more sense than that even BEFORE the pandemic

tonight we do 11001001, and then i'm doing the next FOUR on my own...rough.

[lamonnaie]

MinQ thoughts (Ft. Ties and Rope)

icymi min is ohm's character and Q is leng's character :]

Early on (ep 3-ish) Something something they're making out now, clothes are coming off, Q's in a suit for whatever reason (Min orchestrating a fake photoshoot of some sort to get people off his back? idk) Q takes off his own tie and all while they're making out, he ties Min's hands to the headboard. By the time Min realises, its too late, Q just drops one last peck to his lips then leaves him there tied up - for revenge reasons not kinky reasons (this time around at least)

Then a while later, around ep 7-ish in terms of relationship development, they've got a system set up where Q's allowed to go out for certain business but he ultimately comes back to Min (is this even for kidnapping reasons or are they just boyfriends without the name at this point? who knows tbh, not them thats for sure) This time he comes back in a suit, they make out about it, Min's undressing Q all sexily but then HE ties Qs hands to the headboard without him realising. Q's all "what the fuck are you using my own trick on me", and mins like "yep", then he walks out the door, Q's shouting after him "you know I wouldn't leave anyway right", Min backtracks his head popping up in the doorway and asks "really", Qs just like "yeah" but Mins like "Mmm, I don't think so," then he walks away for real - this time the tying up is for abandonment issue reasons

(also very indicative of how building trust between them is gonna be so much back and forth, very 2 steps forward 1 step back, min doesnt have to tie Q up but he still believes that he does)

(yes this entire tie saga is largely inspired by ohm and his obsession with tugging around leng by his tie 😩😩)

Also SO many shenanigans (horny and otherwise) from their whole hands tied together while they sleep deal

one of the first times they're sleeping with their hands tied, they're in bed, min's asleep (or is he) and Q's on his side just watching min. he brings up his free hand to trace min's features, the camera follows, doing the thing where it zooms in on each specific part of his face as Q touches over it ever so lightly. He's tracing min's lips when it pans back to reveal Min's eyes are open (maybe they have been all along?). Q's frozen, not sure how Min's gonna react, but then min just slightly parts his lips and all of a sudden Q's fingers are inside his mouth. (logistics of sex when your hands are tied to each other? i'm sure that's a thing people are into, i'll leave the experts to figure it out)

something about how min's the kidnapper and he's technically got the control here, but tying their hands together places them both in the same situation,they're both restrained, neither can fully do as they please, they're equals in a sense

(because isn't that really their whole situation? different circumstances, but at the end of the day they're both trapped)

and the best way to navigate when their hands are tied is to do it together, hold hands and try to work through it with their combined strength

But also as Q's sleepwalking stops, the nightmares don't.

post-canon, they're together, they're happy, no more sick brothers or kidnapping, but some nights (no where near as often anymore, thankfully) Q will still get nightmares. min's heard the stuff about never waking up a sleepwalker, and waking up Q from his nightmares is a whole challenge in itself anyway. but min somehow figures out that having their hands tied together makes the nightmares go away almost entirely. so whenever he wakes up from Q's sobs and thrashing around in the middle of the night, he'll grab the rope from their side table and carefully bind their wrists together, just like they used to before. the first time Q wakes up to the ropes around his wrist again, Min's been up almost the whole night himself, first from Q's nightmares, then from anticipating Q's reaction to the whole rope situation. he's not exactly proud of how their relationship begun and every other time they've brought out the rope since (it definitely gets its fair share of use in the MinQ household) it's been with clear consent and enthusiasm on both their parts sometime beforehand.

but of course, Q wakes up, barely even acknowledges the rope at all, grabs onto Min's hand even tighter, turns around so he's nestled even further into Min's side, and promptly goes back to sleep.

they talk about it later (talking has been something they've been working on in the relationship), and establish that it really doesn't bring up any bad memories for Q (no doubt overshadowed by all the better rope-related memories they've made since) and that min's allowed to tie Q up as he pleases.

(Min doesn't know whether he wants to cry or be horny about that admission) (He decides on both, maybe even at the same time)

at some point the rope becomes a comfort thing for them, more than anything else. more nights than not they'll go to bed with their hands tied together, holding hands becoming their normal sleeping position

they've had friends over who were offended that they were doing kinky shit with other people there (Min thinks the friend deserves it for coming into their room unannounced anyway), but it takes a bit of explaining to make unnamed friend realise that it really isn't a sex thing

(except when it is, but they keep that to themselves this time)

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Chains of Heart ep 5

Hold on...I'm reeling a bit from the Our Skyy 2 trailer...

Okay *slaps myself out of my trance* let's do this.

As I mentioned at the end of my ep 4 post, when Hin, Payu, and Boon turn up to take Ken away from Lue, they're all wearing a combination of Ken and Din/Lue's colours. Boon is neutral like Din/Lue is sometimes, Hin has Ken and Din's colours in his shirt, and Payu has blue and red (and maybe even green) stripes in his. This could be indicating their varying levels of knowledge/support about who Lue really is (although Payu is hiding his really well).

At the temple, again Ingpha and Ae confuse me - Ingpha is wearing the same outfit that he wore when paying his *ahem* respects to Din's parents when Din's body was apparently found (photo added on the right below as a reminder) and Ae also has a similar dark blue. This time he's meeting Lue for the first time...who is actually Din...so maybe it's something to do with putting on a front - a show of solidarity to Lue even though we know Ingpha is the 'enemy'.

At Din's parents' place afterwards, they're also complementing in Ken and Din's colours...with a hint of Lue in the flowers and fence to the left...but we know that Din's family are supportive of Ken, don't we?

In Din's bedroom, the purple lighting returns as Ken cries again over the loss of his love and whilst Din's mum tries to encourage Ken to move on and meet someone new. However, in the next breath, she pretty much implies that Din might still be alive because who else could have left that flower there on the day of the funeral...? (Also, I have to laugh at how obvious Lue was standing behind that curtain. I can't believe she didn't notice! But also also...Lue is hiding behind his new colour in his old bedroom.)

I'll come back to the flower in a moment...but I loved how we return to the green and red when Ken goes back to the hotel that he and Din had stayed in but this time looking for Lue.

And so to the flower, and it's fitting that it looks almost purple both in the present and in the past, although in Ken's hotel room it's more red. Din says it's an Iris but from my google searching I think it's actually an Anthurium. The red Anthurium still symbolises love, passion, and affection though, so Din's not wrong there, and the purple is for royalty and passion. How incheresting, though, that Ken wears a green shirt both times he's presented with the flower - the first when Din expresses his eternal love and the second when Din's mum encourages him to move on from Din...and then there's the divide, the distance between Ken and the flower in the hotel room - Din is so far away from him...or is he?...since the flower is also in Lue's red...

Ken goes out for some air...and we know something's about to go down connected to Din because of the dramatic green lighting -> Lue shows up to beat Ken into retreating back to Taiwan, and then returns x minutes later (having changed from the black clothes into beige) to comfort and confess to Ken.

The next day, Boon, Dr Chayeol, and Lue are all complementing in shades of Ken's blue...but also Sai's neutral/beige outfit and green handbag indicates she knows about Lue's real identity, hence why she's encouraging Ken to open up to Lue.

And then we're back to the dramatic greens and reds (with some purple lights), when Nok turns up to fight Ken, with Lue getting involved, and then the final reveal that Lue has Din's necklace.

I think my interpretations are still holding up, although I feel like I'm generalising quite a bit. In any case, there are definitely patterns to how the colours and lighting are being used, even if it is for dramatic cinematography.

[ep 1] [ep 2] [ep 3] [ep 4] [ep 5] [ep 6] [ep 7] [ep 8] [ep 9] [ep 10]

[irishanimefan]

One Piece Anime Watchalong: Alabasta Saga 2/5

Whiskey Peak (Eps 64-67):

Started: 22/7/23 Finished: 22/7/23

Picking up from where previous arc left off, the Straw Hats are tasked with bringing Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday back home to the town of Whiskey Peak. When they get there, are welcomed by the town's leader Igarappoi, who throws a party in honour of their arrival. Or at least, that's what they want you to believe, as a darker secret is unearthed.

If I'm being honest, I wasn't expecting this arc to have this much going on, due to the fact that it was another short arc with a pretty simple premise on the surface. I figured we just drop Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday back, maybe there would be some conflict the Straw Hats had to face, and it would be resolved pretty quickly and we'd move on to the next arc. Oh, how I underestimated One Piece, which you should never ever do! I'll get to the arc's biggest hook in a little bit, but I'll start off by saying that this was a really entertaining arc throughout. I really enjoyed seeing the Straw Hats involve themselves in the welcome party that the town throws for them. I know we got some of that at the end of Arlong Park, but it's still quite joyful to see, even if it doesn't have much bearing on the overall plot. There were some moments in this arc that had me fully laughing, either when they're acting as a resolve for some of the more serious scenes or isolated on their own. They occurred most frequently during Zoro and Luffy's "fight", the way Zoro dodged Miss Valentine's (again will get to that later) kilogram press attack by simply side stepping out of the way, and how at the end of it Zoro and Luffy were still throwing laboured punches at each other even when Nami absolutely totalled them. Speaking of Zoro, I really loved watching him in this arc. Even though it's clear that he's not the brightest member of the Straw Hats, he is still sharp when it comes to spotting obvious traps, and when that was revealed to the audience it was so satisfying.

Alright, now let's get to the main draw to this arc, and how it serves as the opening act for the rest of the saga. It was revealed that Whiskey Peak was used by bounty hunters to lure pirates in order to kill them for their bounties. I expected that to be the end of it, but like I said at the beginning of this post: never underestimate One Piece. It turns out these bounty hunters are actually agents working for the secret crime syndicate known as Baroque Works. Emphasis is placed on the word "secret", because every member has a mysterious codename that conceals their real identity. But, their boss, known as Mr. 0, had discovered spies within the system who accessed classified information about the organisation. Mr. 0 then sent agents Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine to kill these spies, who happen to Igarappoi and Miss Wednesday, which are the aliases of Igaram and Princess Vivi Nefertati of the Alabasta kingdom, respectively. After saving Vivi from the agents, she then explains that her kingdom is currently in the middle of a civil war that was constructed by Baroque Works, and the promise of them "founding an ideal nation" is actually just a ploy for them to rule over the kingdom. It was all a bit much to throw at me like that. I know that it's necessary to establish all the pieces in play for the rest of the saga, but it was kind of hard to follow at some points, especially when it was all juxtaposed with the comedic aspects that it was easy to just miss important details. But, I will say that the last third of this arc was pretty spectacular. After Vivi accidentally let slip the real identity of Mr. 0, it turns out to be Crocodile, who is one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea, Luffy, Zoro and Nami overheard this and are now put on a hit list. They begin to leg it, but not before saying goodbye to Igaram, as he intends to pose as Vivi with decoys of the three Straw Hats in the hopes that Crocodile will forgive them. This teary farewell was short lived, as Igaram's ship is blown up shortly after he set sail, leaving everyone to believe that Igaram is dead. This shook Vivi up to the point where she can't move, and it leads us to this moment where Nami convinces Vivi to move and ensuring that they will bring her home, for real this time. This short exchange was so touching because it was a heart-to-heart moment between the two of them, and reassures that whatever lies ahead of them in the Grand Line, regardless of how powerful these guys might be, they are no match for the Straw Hats. That coming from Nami goes a long way in terms of giving her more depth beyond only caring about money. I don't know, it may be so small that it would be easy to miss it, but it's the scene I think will stick with me the most when I look back on this arc.

But wait, there's more! We wrap up this arc with another bombshell. After fleeing the island on the Going Merry, the Straw Hats and Vivi find out that a mysterious woman was waiting for them on the ship. She goes by the name Miss All Sunday and is the agent who is closest to Crocodile. It is revealed that she was responsible for telling Vivi the real identity of Mr. 0 and alerting the organisation that there were spies in their ranks. She also lends them an Eternal Pose leading to Alabasta, an advanced Log Pose that has its coordinates permanently set on one location, but Luffy destroys it. Miss All Sunday is such an intriguing character, and that comes down to the fact that she's very hard to read. Why is she aiding the Straw Hats against Baroque Works? Is this all a double bluff? Whatever her deal is, I'm looking forward to seeing her more in this saga.

And that's it for this arc, which gave me a lot more than I expected. Despite the overload of information and exposition that it gave me, this was still a pretty good arc. With all the pieces now in play for this arc, I have no doubt that OP will wrap these up in a way that might make this saga better than the last! Let's hope that is the case as the Log Pose takes us to our next destination, Little Garden!

[wanderingbards]

Saw your post about fics you'd like to see/write and honestly? Same.

Not a writer tho, which sucks, but I'm interested to see your interpretation of, well, pretty much all of them.

Especially curious about the Will sacrificing himself instead of Ashe (saw that fic too), Deadwood shenanigans, Dakota and Will meeting each other for the first time, and the drawback to superpowers.

Also, I never thought about Gill and Rumi meeting each other before, but that would definitely be something.

1, I'm not much of a writer either - I honestly find it's more of a mindset wherein you eventually just...do it. Idk how to explain, lol.

2. I'll go through the specific ones you req'd and give some base headcanons for each, and if I do end up writing them fully (I'm on vacation atm so it'll be a week or two before I do so) I'll tag you!

William Wisp's sacrifice

So this is kinda similar to the oneshot, but also different because it could completely change the plot of s2.

- William does the thing he did with the wisps on the train to that one dude, ends up dying. Ashe summons Duck, but Duck explains that William is simply gone.

- Meanwhile, William ends up in the spirit world again. This time, the wisps tell him his job above is complete - but he now has a place of power in the spirit world as a planeswalker, and he's kinda gotta work on getting rid of Mallard Conway and cleaning up the spirit world.

- This leaks into the real world, where rogue demons have slipped through the rift William opened in killing Overlord. Dakota still runs off, blaming himself for William's death (also comes with this loss of direction, which we saw hinted at in ep 19). Ashe moves in with Vyncent when his dad is taken to prison, and months pass.

- When Dakota returns, Ashe reveals he's been having some bad dreams lately - involving the spirit world. Le Frog calls, and s2 begins.

- Main twist could be that Ashe can't contact the spirit world maybe? Only through his dreams? Idk I haven't thought that far yet.

The Un-Witness Protection Program

- So I have the whole group named and hc'd out for some Shenanigans. This series of oneshots takes place before William moves to Rockfall, which is before the summer of William's junior year.

- Rose (she/they) and Xander (he/they) are fraternal twins. Both are black, with very curly hair - Rose keeps hers in pigtails, and Xander has a shorter afro thing goin on. They're 2 years older than William.

- Siobahn (any) is taller, long straight black hair, asian. They're the oldest of the group, being a few months older than the twins.

- And finally, Martyn (he/him) is the second youngest - second to William himself. Martyn is a couple months older than William.

- Yes, William is the baby of the group, and also he's trans.

- So anyways, these guys come together when Siobahn's younger brother, Zach, goes missing. They look into his case, and find this beautiful forest area with a cliff, and a scrap of Zach's clothing on a branch right next to the cliff.

- Over the next couple years, these 5 get into some serious chaos in trying to discern the mysteries of Deadwood - origins of spirits, dangerous places, etc.

- Throughout this time, William has an intuition that helps guide the group to the next location - he doesn't realize his 'intuition' is just seeing the wisps.

- Leads up to Spring Break of William's sophomore year. Siobahn and the twins are graduating, so they're all going camping to celebrate and do some farewells.

- The whole time, William is antsy. He keeps getting distracted by something moving in the woods, and the others poke just a bit of fun at him.

- That night, William follows the wisps to the cliff Zach died at. The others tag along, because they refuse to let William go alone, and they're attacked by a blink dog - that dives towards William and takes him right over the edge of the cliff.

- The others find William's body at the base of the cliff, and watch as his previously dead body comes back to life with a blue light.

- William doesn't remember what happened. The others don't know how to explain, so they tell him he fell chasing something.

- There's like, one more oneshot that's a 5+1 of 5 times William acted strange and the 1 time he did something about it. It ends with William leaving Deadwood for Rockfall.

Dakota and William's first meeting

- This'd just be a kinda oneshot where they meet beginning of summer break - they both got their powers over spring break (on the same day at the same time but they don't know that)

- Somethin quick and easy, probably involves Dakota overwhelming William and William ghosting through the floor

- Ends with Dakota saying something about them being a dynamic duo.

The Drawback to Superpowers

- In general, this is my favorite thing to think about. Like, I wrote a thing a while ago about what the Encanto gifts would have as drawbacks, and it's...it's so good.

- Dakota has a canonically heightened metabolism, but I also think he gets really bad muscle cramps/sore muscles. Like, really bad aches to a point where he can't walk. Because he shouldn't be able to. On these days, the others take care of him - they bring him water and food and watch movies in bed with him while he just rests.

- Vyncent gets bad headaches and real bad amnesia moments. I mean, come on, literal superpowered DID. I feel like the Greats would front casually, even if it's not as their full form, and the others learn how to tell the difference between them all and fill Vyncent in on things he missed.

- And William is Literally Dead. Like, cold hands and pale face, sure, but how about random bouts of rigor mortis. His joints and muscles locking up, tic moments happening at stressful times. I also feel like he has really heavy dissociative episodes where everything gets tinted with blue and hours pass in a blink.

~~~~

I could elaborate a Ton on these concepts, but I'm on vacation and am limited to typing on a phone.

Also I feel like the Rumi and Gillion meeting deserves it's own post separate from the pd stuff. So I might write it out later!

Thanks for the ask!!!

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 12 "Dorkus"

"I think you did it."

"These morons need someone to tear them a new one."

"I am going to write the missive to end all missives."

"I don't want your first time to be with a murderer."

"I love you. I would never, ever hurt you."

"I promise you're safe. That was part of the deal."

"You could never be touched."

"How many lives could you have saved?"

"Our mission never involved killing anyone."

"And it's not just wearing raw chickens on their heads and calling each other gay slurs while jumping around naked."

"It was a conspiracy."

"Stop rationalizing it. You killed people. You are not allowed to just say, "yeah, but I had a super good reason for it."

"Who did you kill?"

"What, are you gonna kill me now?"

"I would never hurt you. I just can't let you leave."

"If you could just stop, hear what I have to say, to understand---please--why I did what I did, you could still love me."

"Don't try to justify it all after the fact."

"They showed up one day thinking that I was a double agent, that I couldn't be trusted. They were going to kill me."

"Hey, hey, you can trust me, you can trust me! Ask me and I'll do anything. I'll prove it."

"Don't you see that they did that on purpose?! They knew that if you actually killed someone, you would be their slave!"

"We were the good guys. We were in this together!"

"I did this for you. Don't you understand?"

"The more I hear about this whole thing, the more I'm starting to think the idea that there are good and bad people in the world is just something adults use to get children to stay in line."

"I mean, aren't we being naive?"

"You took me literally?"

"You are already a murderer, [NAME], you don't have to be a douche as well!"

"This is not a philosophy course. This is murder-- serial murder!"

"I was so young and desperate to be special and loved."

"I never had a real girlfriend before."

"I was vulnerable enough to share my darkest fetish with you, and now you're making me feel self-conscious."

"Just come in and take me now."

"You are ridiculously and laughably gullible."

"What self-respecting man wouldn't do anything to get revenge for being degraded like that?"

"Unfortunately, I don't have great aim with a crossbow and I can't see anything in that mask."

"I don't want to be here anymore."

"I feel sick. This isn't what I wanted."

"Don't judge me for what we both know had to happen."

"You know what? Let's just run away together. You and me. Forget everything."

"Don't you see what I'm willing to do for you?"

"No! I don't want to speak to your supervisor!"

"I've gotten zero swipes on my profile!"

"Do you remember any aspect of this super simple plan?"

"I literally think you should consider undergoing a surgical procedure to remove your ovaries/testicles, thereby sparing human race exposure to your DNA."

"I mean, I'm all for public shaming. I practically invented it. It's the sign of a healthy culture. But not when I'm the one getting shamed."

"I wanted to be famous, but not like this."

"To all the so-called mainstream media, including weird web sites that nobody has heard of who have used my name as clickbait, and to all the relentless unwashed hordes on Twitter, who have taken every opportunity to mock and attack me mercilessly from the safety of their stained futons, I offer the following heartfelt sentiment. You can all suck it!"

"Despite my outward bravado, I was dead inside."

"I knew my glamorous reign of terror was over."

"I ordered an asp online so I could kill myself like Cleopatra, and now I'm just waiting for it to sense my body heat and come out and bite me so this will all be over."

"I understand that what you're going through is really intense. And I know you and I haven't really always seen eye to eye, And you say crazy-mean stuff to me all the time. And I have a real problem with your casual racism,

which is something we need to work on. But, girl, I promise I got your back."

"You're young, smart and beautiful, and you got a lot of living ahead of you."

"Maybe this is one of those teachable moments, you know? Like my grandmama says. Maybe this is where you learn the lesson that words really mean something and they can hurt people, so you just can't always say the first horrible thing that pops into your head all the time."

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Get me out of this suit!"

"What the hell is going on? Who is that guy?"

"Everyone on campus but me is a dork!"

"I'm gonna explode."

"When I woke up, I was wrapped in dynamite!"

"Oh, my god, it's a bomb."

"Yes, a totally innocent man who seemed super nice and probably did nothing wrong at all just got blown up in our living room. Bummer. Now, let's honor his memory by moving on."

"Can you not make it about you for one second?!"

"Stop wallowing and start concentrating on what's really important here--restoring my reputation."

"I need to go on an apology tour. You know, like celebrities, when they say something offensive, they just go on tv and apologize, and everybody forgives them, even though they don't mean it at all."

"I'm gonna fake apologize, you'll record it, we'll post it online, and it'll all be fine."

"But I thought that you said that you weren't the person who put the acid in the spray tanner."

"Why do you think the devil let me live?"

"I think you saw what you wanted to see."

"You can't kill people from a loving and positive place."

"Invasion of the dad bod snatchers."

"If it's good enough for the CIA, it's good enough for me."

"Get ready to make the most important playlist of your life."

"Well, I decided to stop denying what you and I both knew the minute we laid eyes on each other. And once I did, something inside of me, I don't know, it just, just clicked. And I guess I just wanted to get a little crazy."

"So you just decided to break into my house in the middle of the day?"

"I've been a very bad boy."

"I'm just trying to figure out what your angle is. What are you trying to get out of this?"

"You know what I'm trying to get? 45 minutes alone, so I can go crazy on you."

"Turn out the lights!"

"These are my minions."

"Those are the hounds."

"How do you know I'm not the killer?"

"This whole file is made up."

"Somebody just swiped right on me on Tinder."

"Any guy swiping right on you is a miracle."

"You want a drag?"

"That was the best sex of my life."

"I think you're just relieved to find out that intercourse doesn't have to be followed by hours and hours of crying and a weird purchase of an engagement ring."

"Look, I never knew sex could be like that. At first, I was like, I was like, "wow, she's being really loud. Are the neighbors gonna call the police?" And then I was like, "wow, now I'm being really loud. why am I screaming so much? They're definitely gonna call the police." And then I was just stunned at how flexible you are. I mean, I thought you had to be a gymnast to get both feet behind your head."

"I just think that maybe you and I were meant to be together after all."

"I find her unbearably annoying."

"I recognized the island splash scent of that douche you use."

"What movie are you even referring to?"

"Don't patronize me. I look like a monster."

"Well, have you thought of a little plastic surgery?"

"What are you doing? I thought you came here to apologize."

"I apologize for nothing."

"All evidence points to you."

"I know it was you. Have fun in hell, bitch. And fyi, this is probably gonna hurt a lot."

"Stop recording!"

"I knew that bitch was a nut burger the minute I met her."

"But remember, she's armed and dangerous."

"Oh, please tell me you did not bring your insane and obviously blind Tinder hookup back here."

"I lost my virginity to a Nickelback song."