#i'm the crazy bitch around here ( ooc )

[falsementor]

my kingdom for macaque to interact with literally anyone else besides mk,

[coworkers-office]

OOC/Mod: I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AIN'T ONE‼️‼️💥💥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯‼️‼️💥‼️💥💥💯💥💥💯❤️❤️🔥❤️‼️‼️💥‼️💯💯

In all seriousness though, thank you all so much for supporting this silly blog. Genuinly. I'm so, so happy knowing people like what I do. You're all amazing ❤️

I started this blog on a whim, like many other things I do. I was reminded that tumblr RP blogs exist, went looking for any coworker ones, and I didn't find any (active) blogs. At the time, I was in a roleplay discord dedicated to all the Studio Investigrave games. I was having fun fucking around, and decided to give the RP Blog life a try lol. And, well, here we are! Almost 100 followers... crazy.

Well, I hear about 100 member specials. I'm not sure what I could do, so if y'all wanna see something outta me you can leave suggestions in the comments :)

[obscurushydrae]

KAR ASTER’S RP PLOTTING CHEAT-SHEET

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted. Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

Mun name: Kar, Karmun, or if prefer to separate mun from muse, use my middle name, Asher.

OOC Contact: Here, or on @stellevatum or @karthonic or discord on request.

Who the heck is my muse anyway:

Main Verse: She's a Primordial god of destruction that got reborn as the abomination child of Hecate; raised by Jewish lesbians in 90s NYC after the BPRD found her in a sarcophagus. She is constantly fighting against her inherent Ogdru Hem nature of destroying all reality, and just bein being a regular person. Inherited her mom's position as Queen of the Crossroads a few years back and juggles that and BPRD duties.

Points of interest:

Resting bitch face ahoy, and if she's not wearing her glasses (which assume for the most part she is), her eyes. She also has fangs which are more obvious when talking or smiling. Supernatural muses may feel free to 'sense' an odd or unsettling aura around her.

What they’ve been up to recently:

Main timeline: rebuilding the BPRD, lobbying for more supernatural rights, outreach and opening dialogue between the worlds for at least tolerable co-habitation. Guest Lecturing at colleges. Possibly writing a book on early bronze age cultures, and in talks on hosting a doc for BBC.

Where to find them:

New York, Fairfield (BPRD Headquarters) mainly, but her job(s) take her everywhere. Her family house in Limbo/Erebus and sometimes bothering the Hadean court. (Their Wifi sucks though.)

Current plans:

Not really? Just remade her blog to in-character shitpost, but if wills want more plotted stuff I'm down but I'm keeping it very chill here.

Desired interactions:

Cracky, fun, casual with little high stakes stuff at the moment is ideal. But more planned out stuff is possible. Bureau Shenanigans (Like The Office/WWDITS) style shit that's a little weird, crazy, but slice of life because that's life at the BPRD, especially HB/Kar sibling shenanigans. (But it doesn't have to be!) Fellow Chthonics/Gods just being regular jagoffs in the mortal realm is a vibe I like. (Example: Like her and other Psychopomps having a group chat to settle who's covering what that night, etc. Dropping memes or whatnot.). May open her up to ship again but not sure yet. Just started and haven't vibed enough yet and I'm not assuming any of my old partners are interested in picking things back up.

Offered interactions:

Archaeologist by training, can do expeditions or research. BPRD Agent/Director, can be involved in investigating the paranormal & supernatural and arbitrating on it. She's a goddess of the underworld, envoy of the Fates, etc etc, so dealing with the dead, dying, and politics of the other underworlds. So you can play into that. Or just hit me up I can tool something!

Current open post/s:

Open Posts | Memes | Calls | Optional Interest Checker

Anything else?:

Guidelines | Bio | Promo

Tagging:  @ourcwnside @voxiiferous @rebelgodking @mystxoak @realmyths and anyone who sees this and wants to fill it out!

[villains4hire]

Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss Disclaimers

//This is mostly my feeling on the series as a whole along with one odd thing I've run into. I've kind of learned to stay away from people like that though, as I approached them from having the same religion in the rpc.

1 - I originally joined up for Hazbin Hotel and intended to take Vaggie while waiting for the series to air. This was two years ago nearly, my hype for the series is dead, the hype train derailed, crashed and the conductor is being feasted upon by wolves. I frankly do not care about the series as I did anymore, just the characters, then my RPC partners on here. I am extremely selective at times of whom I interact with and why, and how much effort I actually put in. If you want me to give it my all? I would talk to me ooc first before approaching me on my openers as it will be presumed from here on out that you've read it. Consider this a warning and thank you for understanding and sticking around, despite probably noticing how half-assed I am compared to my other characters. I even refrained from doing an introduction drabble for Vaggie, but may in the future if I get asked enough about it. I have to GREATLY LIKE YOU and what you're doing for me to take it completely serious whether a comedic standpoint or actually serious.

2 - I am aware Vaggie and Stella have similar powersets though I tried to more or less vastly change how they work towards both of them, then key powers that separate the two along with scaling with Stella vastly more powerful than a lot of characters. I was intending to use Stella and more or less give up the concept of Vaggie, as I honestly just figured there was already too many Vaggies. I was surprised at the private interest shown in my Vaggie from even mentioning being interested in her, so I brought her back, made her more unique, fleshed out than my original concept and tried to separate the two even if the original ideas for Vaggie's Fallen Angel rage powersets were cannibalized into a Dragon Bird Demon of Wrath for Stella.

3 - I try not to be too critical of the series but I do have criticism toward Vizi and her more aggressive fans, but also give credit where it's due. Some of Vizi's humor I do find legit pretty good with a few story elements, though heavily flawed in other aspects. Then her fans, some have become my best friends on here and I'm only still in this fandom because of them. The RPC for at least the adult section to which it's intended for is pretty chill and cool for the most part. Regardless, if this is a problem for you? I understand, but I don't care and I'm probably right anyway, as I tend to shut up when I don't know what I'm talking about.

4 - This may sound odd to start off with, but I am vehemently Christian and I think even open on my bios about it? Why does this matter? This is actually intended for no one in the fandom, but I have argued intensely with people who were 'Christians' in the RPC privately with me who approached me, while few instances, it was intensely to the point where I'm including this- so you can stop reading here. But for anyone else or if you're just curious?

I am not 'bitch-made' and can engage in fiction even if it's an alternate universe that portrays or critique's my religion in a negative light, but honestly with legit criticisms as well with how organized religion is, the church, media etc, the bible being historically rewritten and abused, but even Jesus and Martin Luther's 95 Theses both opposed religious corruption historically and biblically, but that's more political religion that I want to keep off the blog, as that's how you attract crazy people. I just think that if my God is actually as strong as I think it is? I'm not going to be damned for a cartoon show and neither are the people I interact with. So uh, yeah fuck off, no more private discourse with me for that. I will link you this post specifically if I'm approached for this ever again.

[aik-membrane]

OOC: Heart-Aik: Aik Membrane's Prequel

Chapter Eleven /tw: children in distress/pain, gore, limb loss

Ft @ambassador-d1b

<July 15th, 2005 continued>

After waiting about a half hour to make sure Membrane had left, Aik slowly opened the door. His card trick worked, the door hadn't locked and it didn't shock him when he opened it. He entered Dib's area and looked around, trying to spot the boy. He made sure to leave the door open.

"Dib?! Dib?" Aik had to remind himself to stay quiet. He heard labored breathing coming from the far part of the lab and he darted over.

There was Dib, curled up and laying on the monitoring table. His vitals were displayed and showed him in a high state of panic and pain, higher than Cor and Bel had ever been in.

"Shit, Dib," Aik gasped and ran over to him, putting his hand over Dib's forehead to check his temperature. "Of course you're cold, that bastard."

He darted back to his room for the yellow blanket he had, and came back to wrap Dib in it. "You're safe now, it's alright."

Dib slightly opened his eyes to look at Aik. He was ten months old now. "Why… you're doing…"

"I'm not doing anything to hurt you, I'm going to help you. You can trust me," Aik whispered.

"Dad…"

Aik sighed and hugged Dib gently without picking him up. "Sorry that I've been gone so long. I'm here now. I'll find out what Membrane has been doing." He glanced at the monitoring equipment.

Dib shivered slightly, then snuggled in the blanket. Aik didn't move until Dib fell asleep. Then he let him go and approached the monitoring equipment. He started to review footage of the past week, trying to see what Membrane had done to make Dib's panic levels so high.

And when he found out, the hair on the back of his neck stood up. "He's been running EXPERIMENTS on you??? That's his important work!?!"

Dib stirred slightly.

Aik fumed quietly. "That bitch…" He went further back in the footage. The Professor had been running endurance tests, non lethal experiments, and had been injecting Dib with the purple fluid behind Aik's back for four months now. Aik growled and clenched his teeth. This was why Membrane kept him away from Dib. So that Aik couldn't save him.

"Membrane is dead, I'm going to kill him," Aik hissed. He was too angry to think at all about what he was saying. Or to notice that Membrane had entered the lab and was standing right behind him.

"You're going to WHAT?" Membrane growled.

Aik whipped around and faced Membrane. "What have you done!"

"How did you get out!"

"I'm going to fucking kill you!" Aik darted at Membrane, not thinking clear enough to even grab a weapon.

Membrane dodged and grabbed a syringe filled with sedative. "Aik, enough of this!"

"You're a monster!" Aik barreled into Membrane as he was grabbing the sedative, knocking him to the ground and shattering the syringe. Aik put his hands around Membrane's neck and clawed at his throat.

Membrane yelped and kicked Aik off of him, knocking him a short distance away into a table of chemicals. His neck was bleeding from Aik's scratches though.

Aik hit the table hard, spilling half of the chemical contents everywhere, and getting the wind knocked out of him. He gasped for air.

Membrane got to his feet and tried to grab Aik. Aik screamed and grabbed a bottle of other chemicals and threw it at the Professor. Membrane dodged and it landed and shattered over electrical sockets where computers were plugged in. The sockets began to smoke.

Dib was waking up, confused and scared. Aik noticed and put himself between Membrane and Dib.

"Aik, you're insane! You're completely crazy, I have to lock you up!" Membrane barked.

"I don't care what you do to me, don't touch Dib!" Aik screamed at Membrane.

The Professor tried to dart to grab Aik, but Aik pulled a computer monitor on top of his head, knocking him aside.

Dib whimpered, he was watching a small collection of flames that was gathering on the wall.

"Shit!" Aik said, noticing the fire as well. He grabbed Dib, disconnected him from the breathing apparatus and needles, and put him in the nearby canister. The liquid would at least keep the fire from getting to Dib. Aik was about to go get a fire extinguisher when Membrane grabbed his arm and yanked him back, having freed himself from the broken monitor.

"You're not killing me, Aik! I'm killing you!" The Professor growled.

Aik hissed at him and kicked him in his crotch, which made Membrane yelp and fall on top of Aik, pinning him to the ground and practically crushing him.

Aik struggled to get free, seeing the fire was spreading faster. "Shit, Membrane! Fire!"

Membrane groaned and gripped Aik's left arm, pinning it behind his back. "You're not going anywhere."

Aik grabbed Membrane's ear with his free hand and yanked. Membrane yelped, accidentally letting Aik's arm go. Aik wiggled free and darted into his section of the lab, knowing there was a fire extinguisher in there.

Membrane grabbed another sedative and followed.

Aik grabbed the heavy, red fire extinguisher and gasped as he saw the fire was already spreading to his part of the lab and the ceiling. "Oh no."

"Aik!" Membrane darted at Aik and tried to stick him with the sedative.

Aik used the extinguisher to knock the sedative out of Membrane's hand and whacked Membrane in the chest with it to push him backwards, back into Dib's section. "I'm not that easy to-"

The wall separating the two sections of labs collapsed as the fire had burned through all the supports. Aik yelped and scrambled backwards. The fire has spread everywhere now. And with the separator crumbled, he couldn't see or get through the wall of flames to Dib. He couldn't see Membrane either.

"Dib!" Aik called, panicked. He tried to get the fire extinguisher to work, starting to cough from the smoke. A computer fell, forcing Aik to take a few steps back as it shattered, and causing him to drop the extinguisher. Aik looked around, still coughing from the smoke. He put his right arm over his mouth and nose to try to keep from inhaling the smoke.

He heard Membrane's voice call out. "Aik??"

"Dad?" Aik said between careful breaths. He saw a glimpse of the white coat on the other side of a barrage of fire. He took a step towards it as the beam above him snapped and hurtled towards him, hot from the flames. It struck him in the left shoulder and forced him to the ground.

Aik screamed with pain and collapsed. He felt the bone in his shoulder as it was crushed and his tendons and muscles snapped. He felt blood starting to flow, but it was all cut short by the pain of extreme heat.

His instincts kicked in and recoiled with another scream. He pressed himself against the closest intact wall, which was also warm. He was hyperventilating on the smoke, it was making him dizzy.

"Shit, shit, Dib…" He gasped. The wall behind him began to give out, falling apart from the fire. Aik didn't react in time to keep himself from falling directly into the garbage chute. It was a steep fall, but it wasn't straight down. And he was too dazed from smoke and blood loss to try stopping the long, painful ride down.

He ended up in a pile of trash in an overfilled dumpster at the bottom of Membrane Labs. He was still conscious, something about his creation made him resistant. He gasped for air to clear his lungs, coughing a bit of blood out. He struggled to sit up, noticed a bag of hopefully clean bandages that had been discarded, grabbed a handful of them, and pressed them against his injured shoulder with a pained wheeze. Half of the flesh had been cauterized by the flames, but he was still losing blood. By some miracle, he managed to get to his feet and tumble out of the dumpster to his knees on the bare ground.

He was outside of the lab building, there was no security in sight. They were all panicking over the visible flames over the building.

Aik inhaled deeply, coughed a bit of blood again, and bolted. He was running on pure instinct and adrenaline, he didn't even have the ability to look at his shoulder to see how bad the damage was.

He ended up in a dark alley just outside of the labs and collapsed, the blood loss finally catching up to him as he slipped into unconsciousness.

He didn't go unnoticed. A blond man in a black jumpsuit with a duffel bag and a backpack spotted him, and approached to check his pulse. He pulled back the back of his ear to check for a tattoo. Upon seeing the symbol for Membrane Labs. Project Eternal, and the number 1, he grinned mischievously and emptied out the duffle bag. It was full of spy equipment, which he stuffed in his backpack, some clothes, which he used to bind up Aik's burns and shoulder tightly, and some workout equipment, which he abandoned in the alley. He folded Aik's legs up to his chest, placed him in the duffel bag, zipped it up, and walked off like nothing happened.

Hours later, the fire was out. It had damaged the power of the entire building, shutting down all security cameras and functions. Dib's canister was cracked, but he was alive and unharmed.

Membrane and a few helpers poked around in the debris, searching for Aik or a body.

All they found was a decapitated and bloodied left arm, pinned under a support beam and burned to a crisp at the end.

To the Professor, Aik was now dead.

[igneouswyvern]

I'm boutta go full crack mode because I have characters I need to headcanon-dump even though literally no one on this blue planet gives a flying fuck about them (it's Ys Memories of Celceta characters btw. if you care)

Putting this under the cut because this is about to get LONG. And bc I'm embarrassed. If actual Ys fans see this im going to crawl into a hole and die

Ok so I'm talking about these motherfuckers.

(Lefance (top) Eldeel (bottom)

(As I do this I'm looking at these two like. I haven't looked at pictures of them from the game in so fucking long. My headcanons have gotten so far away from canon that I completely forgot what these bitches look like in canon im so sorry)

(Also gonna preface this with: absolutely none of what I'm about to say here is canon. If it is I'll tell you. This all came from the recesses of my mind. I'm completely insane. Half of this is probably completely ooc anyways. But idrc at this point my headcanons are canon in my heart. so here we go)

Starting off with Lefance because he's easiest. So for those of you who don't know he's the king of an ancient kingdom called Celceta (hey that's the name of the game isn't that crazy haha). That's like all they tell us in canon. As for my personal headcanons. Well. So Lefance grew up with a mother, a father, and a sister who's either his twin or like 2 years younger than him, idk. She's probably younger he has big brother energy. But anyways Lefance's father was. A fucking terrible king. He was an absolute coward, he had a million guards protecting him and feared for his life. He also was just always at war, like nearly constantly. The kingdom of Celceta is landlocked (I don't think this is canon but idc) and EVERYONE wants to get that bit of land Lefance's dad owns. The king obviously wants to keep it because duh, so he's having to play defense from all sides, so yeah they're constantly at war. Lefance's father would never set FOOT on the battlefield. His mother, however, is uh. Yeah she's a warrior. Completely unrealistic for the times but I don't care it's my headcanon I can do what I want. So basically Lefance's mother is always out on the battlefield defending her kingdom. She got that patriotism. As for Lefance and his sister, they had a pretty normal beginning of their lives, they were super close and did everything together. Normal stuff.

NOW'S the fun stuff, cause my man has trauma. So basically one of the neighboring kingdoms sent out an assassin to take out the king and/or his children. At the time, 9 year old Lefance and his sister were out messing around near the castle walls, maybe wandering a bit too far, when all of a sudden this assassin comes into the scene. Before Lefance can think he's running screaming towards the castle from the evil man with a knife. He's about halfway through the gate when he hears the agonized scream of his 7 year old sister, and he turns around just in time to see the assassin pulling his knife out of her chest. By this point some guards have come running and pull Lefance to safety, but there's no saving his sister. She's been killed, through and through.

This is super important because he learns a few things that day. 1, if he'd had a sword on him at the time, and had known how to wield it, he could have stopped that assassin before his sister died (unrealistic but he was 9 of course he came to that conclusion). 2, if he hadn't run instantly at the sight of danger, he might have been able to pull her with him and save her life. 3, if his dad wasn't constantly making enemies with all these countries, no assassin would have come in the first place. So little Lefance makes a couple of vows to himself. He vows to be at peace with all the countries around him when he becomes king. And he vows to never run in the face of danger, especially when there's another person in danger as well. Third, he vows to learn how to wield a sword, so he can carry one with him at all times and be ready to defend the people he loves. So he asks his mother to train him up in the sword, and he becomes quite good at it.

Fast forward a bit, when Lefance is 23, his mother ends up dying on the battlefield (truly, it was about time she was always on the front lines lmao). 5 years later, Lefance's father dies of a mysterious illness that physicians claim was brought on by grief, and Lefance inherits the throne at 28.

Lefance ends up being a great ruler. He immediately forms peace treaties with the surrounding nations and halts their wars. And on the rare occasion someone does try to pick a fight, he stands on the front lines of the battlefield, ready to defend his people with his dying breath. In peace time, he's like, the most unrealistically good king of all time. He knows the name of every one of his citizens and checks up with them regularly. He gives out money whenever someone is struggling. Adults love him. Children love him. He's just an amazing guy tbh. He wouldn't even have a castle if he hadn't inherited it, he would have been perfectly content in a humble cottage. All of his guards are paid well and he personally covers any medical costs if they get injured. He has death funds set aside for their families if they die. He has a personal maid who only works there because she wants to. She gets paid a lot and has vacation days and medical leave. Also unrelated but she has a wife, no it's not realistic for there to have been perfectly approved gay marriage in this time period, no I do not care in the slightest.

Personality-wise, this guy is like, the most protagonist man of all time (funnily enough he's the side-est of side characters in the game itself). He's strong in battle but doesn't like picking fights, he loves exploring and discovering things just for the thrill of it. He's a complete extrovert. Also he has ADHD canon and real. He's fidgety and he has executive dysfunction and he cannot for the life of him keep track of any of his belongings (that's what his maid is for). He's terrible with social cues and oblivious as fuck. Also he's like, hyperfixated as FUCK on like, war machinery and weapons. Yes, even though he's a pacifist. He loves all the mechanisms and engineering that goes into making trebuchets and forging swords, but he hates that they're used to kill people. Very funny stuff. (Yeah. Yeah I know looking at his fucking grim ass expression in that portrait up there makes everything I've said here really hard to believe but just trust me here.)

All right now we've gotta talk about the other guy up there, Eldeel. As for the canon stuff, Eldeel is an immortal god who was around way back in Lefance's time and is still alive by the time Celceta happens like, 10,000 something years in the future. A FEW things I will say here are canon but pretty much everything else is completely made up.

So I'm not going to come up with theories as to how a god spawned into existence, but I like to think he started out not as a baby but kind of as a young child, and had to grow and mature like a human for a bit. I think maybe he wound up in the woods somewhere, and maybe a kind human mother happened to stumble upon him, and despite his angel wings and his clear unusual knowledge and maturity for a 6 year old, she decided to have compassion on him and take him in as one of her own children. And Eldeel always knew he was different, he had plenty of evidence to that, but he still managed to end up with a decently normal life for a bit there. He made friends, got older, got into trade, and learned to make money. And maybe he didn't really need food in the way his siblings did, and maybe he happened to have a pair of wings, and maybe he had a lot of knowledge about the world from an unknown source, but he was able to enjoy life.

And then his siblings started to age, started to get wrinkles and grey hairs, started to become more feeble, while he stayed young and handsome. And maybe he had to experience death for the first time when his mother died, and then again and again as each of his siblings passed away, until he was the only one left of their family. And maybe he stuck around with his siblings' kids and their kids for a little while, but maybe they passed away too. And still, Eldeel was here, just as young, just as healthy. And let me tell you, my man's got some BAGGAGE from all of this. The pain of desperately wanted to make connections with humans, but knowing all the while that it'll never last. That their time will come sooner or later, and there's nothing you can do about it. Watching each person you ever cared about age and die while you stay ever the same. So finally, after a couple hundred years, Eldeel decides he can't take this anymore. So he decides he's never going to get that close to a human being ever again. Maybe he'll interact with them on occasion, whenever necessary, but he can't build that emotional connection anymore. He can't let himself get hurt.

So he pulls away almost entirely. He has an insatiable curiosity surrounding everything humans do, but this time he keeps his distance. He watches them from afar, never getting close enough to really know them. And it's during this time that he starts to explore what his purpose might be, because I don't think whatever being higher in the pecking order than him decided to place him on this earth was merciful enough to give him any sort of guidance whatsoever. So he takes the two things he's interested in--designing and creating fancy contraptions, and caring about human affairs--and mashes them together, when he first designs some really cool invention. Like a lightbulb, maybe. And he shows it to a particular human he happened to have met once. And this human starts putting lightbulbs everywhere, every street lamp and every house has a lightbulb in it now. And Eldeel realizes he has the power to affect the course of history, through his inventions. And an invention, revealed at the right time to the right human, can give them just the right nudge they need to go in a particular direction. (And this is all I'm going to go on about the topic of Eldeel's purpose, mostly because I don't remember a lot of the lore of Celceta at this point in time.)

Now, fast forward a bit of time. Eldeel is 412 years old, and Lefance is 35. Eldeel recognizes Lefance as one of those humans who has the power to change history in some way, if given the right nudge, so he starts forming a connection. A non-emotional one, of course. But maybe, something about Lefance catches him off guard. Something in his cheery disposition, his excited nature, his kind spirit. And before he knows it, Eldeel is giving Lefance a complete tour of his hut, showing him all the fascinating human books he's collected over the years and read hundreds of times. Showing him the blueprints for all his latest inventions. Rambling on about his obsession with human culture. And maybe Lefance is a lot more interested than Eldeel was expecting. Maybe he actually cares about the things Eldeel cares about. And maybe Eldeel realizes Lefance's hyperfixation on weaponry and such, and starts showing him all the books in his collection. And maybe, after a while, he looks less at the books and more at Lefance. And maybe he invites Lefance to come back again. And again. And maybe they get to talking about the ethics of war, and keep talking late into the night. And maybe they move on to more personal topics, and maybe they share a little bit more about themselves and their personal struggles than they ever meant to. And maybe when Eldeel hears about Lefance getting into a battle and getting hurt, he rushes to the castle a little bit too quickly. And maybe, just maybe, they confess their undying love to each other under the moonlight out on the castle balcony.

I don't know what happens next, really. I doubt they get formally married, but I do think they start referring to each other as husbands somewhere along the road. And I'm not sure what to do with the fact that Lefance canonically has direct descendants. Maybe he tried out a relationship with a woman somewhere in here and wound up with a kid, even if the rest didn't work out. Maybe he adopted an orphaned kid and publicly declared them his own flesh and blood and the official heir to the throne, and the fact that they aren't actually blood related got lost to the history books. I don't really know.

Somewhere along the way the canon events from Celceta happen. I'm not really sure how it all shakes up (mostly because I forgot it's been a hot second) but somewhere along the way Eldeel winds up getting corrupted. And Lefance is the only one who can save him. Gay real and canon

And then, Eldeel begins to remember why he avoided forming such direct bonds with humans to begin with, as Lefance becomes ill with what seems to be an incurable sickness. (in canon, his ghost portrait is the exact same age as his living portrait from the memories, so I am choosing to interpret that as "he died from something other than old age," although it honestly would work a lot better if he did just die from old age.) And Eldeel tears his hut apart looking everywhere for a book that might possibly document this illness. He journeys all over the place trying to find a physician who will heal his husband. He even starts looking for books trying to answer questions like "how to make someone immortal" and "how to become mortal and go to the afterlife." Anything to be with his beloved. But nothing turns up. And he becomes more and more desperate, as Lefance becomes sicker and sicker. Until finally, Lefance draws his final breath. Eldeel weeps by his bedside for days. It's not like he has anything better to do. When you're 427, you can afford to take extra time to process grief.

And now Eldeel has truly learned his lesson. He'll never bond with another human ever again. And it's not nearly so hard now, because no human could ever be what Lefance was to him. He distances himself completely, and spends the next 9,000 something years doing what he did before Lefance, and fulfilling his higher-power-given duty. But eventually, Lefance's direct descendant Leeza becomes his personal attendant in the events of Celceta, which I must imagine was a blow to the gut. And then, Eldeel starts to become corrupted again, because idk, and apparently because his husband is the only one who can save him Lefance's ghost comes back to help Adol get Eldeel to come back to himself. And I imagine they share a sweet moment before Lefance gets teleported back to the afterlife where he's supposed to be. And Eldeel once again considers if there's any possible way he can die or otherwise go to the afterlife, because as much as he loves humans, he'll give up everything just to be with his husband for all of eternity. But the curse of immortality remains strong, and there is nothing Eldeel can do.

OK WALLPOST OVER. I'm on crack im so sorry im completely insane. I have so many thoughts about these two. And this isn't even getting STARTED on the details of their developing relationship OR how Lefance's trauma comes into play with their relationship. My only evidence for them being together is that they are shown to have been close friends back in the days of the kingdom of Celceta and well. Neither of them had a lady friend. Meaning of course, they gay [sunglasses] yeah. Yeah idk what else to say. Who give a shit about the actual main characters of the game who exist in the present day. All I care about is one random ship involving two characters whose interactions are very brief and completely platonic. And also creating entire intricate backstories for both of them. Because I'm clinically insane of course. But uh yeah. *throws this post at you* if you read this far im proud of you. and also highly embarrassed. Ok it's 2am im going to go ahead and sleep now

[youngbloodlisk]

9-1-1 and Lone Star reactions (5/2/22)

9-1-1 (May Day)

i wanna fuck this Claudette bitch up

Albert clean shaven again?? thank god

i'd still set the world on fire for angela bassett

i used to like Josh but lately i feel like his character has been so weird like ooc and super annoying

those two just standing by sipping their coffee watching May go tf OFF at Claudette iconic truly

Eddie to the rescue

THE ALARM ISNT WORKING OH FUCK

oh this is crazy. Albert? Monday??? dude

wait so they're RIGHT above the blazing fire and not noticing any heat or anything. i mean i guess? cause like shoes they wouldn't feel the floor getting warm if that's a thing that would happen? idk im not a firefighter lmao i might be being stupid that just seems odd

okay okay NOW right after I type that Claudette goes "why is it so hot in here" Okay nvm ig!

NO WAIT SO THE FIRE WAS RIGHT OUTSIDE THE ROOM NO OKAY I FEEL LIKE THEY WOULDVE NOTICED THAT A LITTLE EARLIER THAN JUST NOW LOL

if they're abt to make me sympathize for Claudette........im not sympathetic towards rude bitches who are proud of their rudeness idk sorry!

like yeah that seriously sucks and im rlly genuinely sorry that happened to you Claudette BUT too many shows have shitty characters with poorly written sob story redemption plotlines that are meant to make me forgive their behavior. and im not forgiving your behavior bc of this!

"Josh, you're a dispatcher, not a firefighter. Today, you're a guest in this house."

"He's been waiting months to say that."

AS HE SHOULD YEP YEP YEP GET HIS ASS EDDIE

sorry maybe im being too rude to Josh for no reason i just can't stand him anymore 😭

i like Carson can we keep him around he's fun

Eddie getting Buck to stfu abt the fire-truck-on-leg aftermath god they're the greatest duo. Now kiss ffs

BOBBY ARE YOU CRAZY

yeah no time to wait around and share meaningful looks GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE ITS ON FIRE

you can't just make me watch Albert almost die and then trap May and Bobby under the ceiling AND THEN cut to a goddamn lowe's commercial

the 118 coming together to try to save Bobby im not crying youre crying shut up

THEYRE OKAY THANK GOD for a second i was thinking one of them was gonna be dead and i was RLLY gonna be crying then

YES EDDIE man knows where he belongs

Evan Buckley im gonna smack you if you don't stop treating Taylor like this I hate Taylor but I also hate Lucy and yknow what i hate the most? Buck's vanishing character development idk

May calling Bobby her dad IM NOT CRYING YOURE CRYING SHUT UP

pre Lone Star comment: im hoping this week's episode has a little Marjan cause i missed her last week there was hardly any of her i missed my girlfriend ! but judging by the preview i am not very hopeful for much Marjan screentime SO MAYBE NEXT WEEK

(back to 9-1-1 this episode isn't over yet)

i may dislike Josh but the mlm rep ! woohoo !

han brothers <<<3333 i love them

WOAH THEY KILLED OFF CLAUDETTE????

wow and something's up with Monday OH MY GOD THE PREVIEW FOR NEXT WEEK????? HOLY SHIT

9-1-1: Lone Star (Shift-less)

BANGER song in the beginning omg this song always reminds me of the Psych episode Talk Derby to Me cause it plays at the end when Shawn and Jules are skating together god i love Psych

dude what just- Tyler???

are pay phones wired to like not require money if you dial 911. cause like Owen didn't pay for the call and that would make sense cause it's the emergency line

i'm gonna Google it

YEP yep they can't charge for emergency calls that makes so much sense i had never even thought abt that

omg i forgot abt Wyatt

did Judd just throw up a peace sign cause oh my god that's funny

sidenote: im drinking an energy drink while watching these. it's currently 1am. im surely gonna regret this

room 127? 127?? nct 127?? alexa play superhuman

im rlly enjoying looking into Owen's childhood. as heart-wrenching as it is, it gives his character a further depth that was needed

THE CLOWNNNNN OHHHHH

oh god Judd oh no

"Hey, Wyatt, look at the damn thing. You ain't gonna make it worse." i laughed i love Judd sm

i mean he DID say he'd scream and pass out !

follow up on the pre Lone Star comment: no Marjan whatsoever i still miss my girlfriend this is devastating

no cause i relate so hard to Wyatt being all panicky not knowing what to do until Judd passes out and he's basically alone to figure it out himself. i work so much better, even under pressure, when no one is watching me

i love May + Bobby having their "she called me dad" moment AND Wyatt + Judd having their "he called me dad" moment in the same night that's so fun

Overall Comments

it seems 9-1-1 is still adhering more to the format of emergency calls, while Lone Star is more fleshing out the MCs' storylines.

i don't think one is better than the other necessarily, but i do miss having more consistency with Lone Star's format. but the storylines they're working with are pretty damn good and they're actually making me CARE abt the first responders' lives outside of the job. given that the show is meant to be centered around the job.

in 9-1-1 i'm usually less invested in the non-emergency storylines but i think that's because it feels like an afterthought for 9-1-1 while for Lone Star it's more of the focus now. that's interesting.

although, Lone Star focusing more on MC storylines does mean we see some character wayyyyy more than others and i don't like that very much. i miss seeing more of marjan and paul and all of them cause it feels like we're focusing so much on owen, judd's family, and even tk. love them all and love their plotlines.

just wish there was a better character balance in Lone Star. but the same could be said for 9-1-1 sometimes so yknow 🤷

right i think that's all i wanna say thank you and goodnight it's 2am !

[princelyhelp]

Hi I'm not sure if it's alright if I ask you about this or not (if not then you can delete this message ofc!) but I've been roleplaying for around 10+ years but I've never been an admin before (or a co admin) but I really want to open a rp group cause I have so many exciting ideas for a rp, dedication and plenty of free time, but I kind of feel like it's too late for me to admin for the first time? Idk what I'm doing, I will definitely do something wrong and I'm sure that people won't take me seriously 😣 is it too late for me to do this? And if not, do you know any guides about running a rp in 2022? Thank you so much!

ofc it's fine to ask me this!! i need you to know that it's NEVER too late to be admin, like ever. if you want to open a rp then do it!!! GO FOR IT!!! I'M ROOTING FOR YOU!!!! just know that while it's a lot of fun being an admin, there's a lot that goes into and sometimes, you're gonna find yourself annoyed with some people. but that's okay!! you're human, it's natural to be annoyed by anons who don't read over stuff before they ask you stupid questions like Is ThIs RoLePlAy AcTiVe type shit. and who cares if you mess up, you're human, that's what we do. but you learn from your mistakes and aim to do better. so if you mess up as an admin, apologize and take ownership for your mistake and do better. it's okay!! no one is gonna judge you ( we only judge racist and homophobic admins <3 ).

As for guides, here are some that i found in the tags!

Admin tips! What Makes or Breaks a Roleplay?

Essential Pages for the Main

Things Admins Should Do Before AND After Opening a Roleplay

Different RP Tags ( avoid using literate rp or lsrp bc fuck them bitches )

How to Write Prompts and Tasks

How to Make Your Roleplay Inclusive

How Rigby Runs a Roleplay

Writing an Event

And then tips from me! The girl who went from running a rp on Crunchyroll to Tumblr!

Optional! If you want to work with others, you could see if anyone wants to help you. You can either ask friends or ask strangers, whichever works for you. Just make sure to set up proper boundaries and make sure everyone is on the same page.

Since you're a new admin, I recommend putting a cap on how many members you want. That way you can get used to handling a rp without overwhelming yourself with muns and muses. A nice cap would be 10 to 15.

Use other rps as inspiration. Look at what pages they have, how they set up their main, and how they advertise their groups. Also check out what themes groups are using, though I recommend avoiding container themes with small font because those aren't accessible.

Be a fun admin. Like, be,,,, professional in a way, but also have fun!! Go stupid go crazy when you're advertising, use memes, come up with wacky ways to get people to look at you. Like I LITERALLY created the "cool rp" "swag rp" and "swawesome rp" tags,,,,, and guess what??? ANOTHER RP IS ALSO USING THOSE TAGS!!! not saying im a trendsetter but,,,, i'm a trendsetter

Discord Server/OOC blog! Okay, this is def hit or miss. Discord servers can be great, it allows everyone to talk to each other, you can post events and tasks in them, etc etc. I love them but others don't, which is so valid. Discord servers and just ooc chats can be overwhelming or people might feel left out because of them. It really depends on what you want to do, just be aware of the pros and cons.

Be a prime example when it comes to having diverse muses. Like for me, when I'm looking at a rp, I see how many black muses they have because I refuse to join a rp and be the only one with a black muse,,,, like absolutely not OAIGJAIGAIA But if you start off with a diverse muse (AND KEEP IT GOING!!!), it'll pull more people into checking out your rp.

Just create your rp and stick to it. It's gonna be tough at first, you might not get a lot of people joining but I promise you, when you stick it out and keep promoting yourself,,,, you're gonna love it because the apps will be flowing in!!! Just believe in yourself.

And that's it! Hopefully that was helpful anon <3

[kookie-doughs]

Beta Tester

Kozume Kenma X Reader

-YN LN is a popular mangaka

Chapter 16: Stage

Seeing you running towards him made Kenma frown.

"Kenma!" You waved. "Thank you for not leaving yet!"

Ignoring you he continued to walk towards the direction of the stage.

You pouted and crossed your arms. "You know... As sorry as I am for that kiss I really don't regret it."

Jogging up in front of him with a shit eating grin, you positioned yourself in front of him where he'd have no choice but to look at you while you looked at him. His ears were slightly red without a doubt but who were you kidding yours were too.

Kenma cleared his throat, "Good for you then. Now get out of the way so I could get out of here. "

"And honestly I liked that kiss." You continued determined to see him flustered again. "Your lips were soft and I bet my ass you're a great kisser. I rate you 10/10 would do it again."

With a glare he looked at you straight in the eyes, "So do it pussy." Then went ahead before you could see the red settling on his face.

"I- Wh- Excuse me- Wh- Huh? K-Ken- Kenma!!" You squeaked as you chased after him.

"I said what I said."

You finally caught up to him when he was about to climb the stairs towards the stage. Luckily(?) you also have to go up with him.

"Ehh... Where's the flustered Kenma? I wanted to see you all blushy and panicked. You looked so adorable. I don't want hot daddy Dom Kenma. I want cute baby sub Kenma..."

As he was halfway up the stairs your height gap grew and he was way over you. He just looked down on you, leaning closer the gap barely existent he smirked.

"Too bad." Then turned away.

There were a handful of people who saw the scene. Which made you more embarrassed. Holy shit you acted all alpha online only to be dominated by a hermit named Kozume Kenma.

Boy were you happy. You'd happily submit to him.

"Let us all welcome the two people who made the game possible! YN LN and Kozume Kenma!!"

You might be confused why you two were the ones going and why you were introduced like that.

As you are the creator of Puri-Puri you of course are the reason why this game existed.

But Kenma came here as he's the biggest investor, the face of the game and no one else wanted to go. So yeah...

As you two came up the stage you were just wishing the blush from the scene a few moments ago. The cameras flashed and claps were heard.

"Shit the media is here..." You mumbled.

"Your surprised, why?" Kenma gave you an amused and disappointed look. No idea how he managed to do that but he did.

"Shut the fuck up. I just got a feeling the questions won't be about the game thanks to the media."

"So you do think sometimes..."

"You want me to hit you?"

A clearing of throat behind you stopped your argument. It was Akaashi handing you both microphones to be clipped on you [I'm sorry I dont know what they're called] .

"Good luck, don't do and say anything stupid. And remember this is the release of PPM's demo." He reminded and got off the stage.

"Good evening to you all! I hope you've been having a great time!" I started.

"We'd like to thank you again for attending the release of PPM's demo."

"Now of course the game is yet to be played but from the trailer that was shown, I hope you had enjoyed it since the game is going to be much better than the trailer!"

"I'm sure you all must've questions as well. That's why Me and your idi-- dear author will answer."

"You definitely were about to call me idiot." You frowned at him.

He smirked and shrugged. "I have not a slightest idea what you mean."

"You're the worst."

Ignoring you... Again. He motioned at one of the reporters to probably ask their question.

"Ms. LN, as the initial plot of the Puri-Puri Magika is about [REDACTED], and the trailer we saw have quite a large difference from one another only having the universe in similarty. Is it just the universe of the similar one to the manga? "

"Of course the plot would be different. It disappoints me quite a bit that none of you realized how they're connected aside from the universe. Well, I don't really want to spoil you but if you actually read the Manga and saw the trailer," You gave a proud smirk. "Everyone that was a fan of PPM in the team were ecstatic. They were all just-" You mimicked a mind blown. "They were so excited about the game and a those."

"Thank you Ms. LN."

"Next please."

"Mr. Kozume," the next one called. "You were neither a fan of YN, nor PPM, why did you decide to not only beta test the game but sponsor and invest big sum of money on the game."

"We--"

"No wait ! I want to answer some of those questions!" You cut off cackling. "The one about him investing and him beta testing! It's actually an annoying and Hella funny story."

"No I was a--"

"Shut up you'll probably lie."

"Shut up." Kenma now had his ears red. "Don't you--"

"He was the biggest asshole back then!"

"Stop talking."

"He fucking beta tested despite not knowing shit about PPM because it was the biggest game. And he just banwagoned  on it like a bitch he was."

"I did not. I had some clues about you Manga."

"You did not know shit about PPM cut yo bullshit. You didn't even know who the MC was!"

"Shut up."

"That's why he beta tested! Now the reason why he invested is really hilarious!"

"I really hate this story..."

"This was the reason why Kenma became Bae too! We didn't know shit about how to contact Kenma, we only had his email address and his social media. Keep that in mind. "

"So since he didn't know shit about PPM he really couldn't care about the plot and just looked for bugs and shit. He wasn't even aware of the bugs in the plot since he didn't know which what was supposed to be part of the plot and not. This bitch ass decided there wasn't any bugs anymore so we went with that. But then we had to play it and saw a shit ton of bugs."

"I said there were some bugs don't make me seems so stupid."

"You didn't even inform us about the glitch at the time skip part! That could've ruined the entire thing! Anywayz, so we had to code the game again. So we emailed him that there were way too many bugs other than what he told us so the next testing would be later. But the asshole never replied. And since I was the one entasked to guide this bitch ass, I  had to flood his email! And he didn't respond! Not once! It had been DAYS! I send him at least 20 emails everyday! I have up on the 3-4th day and DMed him on Twitter."

"I really hate this part."

"No. No. This is the best part. Do y'all remember that one trending #KodzuGone started by Tenma? It's because, this asshole never responded to our emails so I DMed him all the shit important shit in the emails. Then this bitch fucking blocked me! I fucking rante to Tenma and he canceled Kenma like he deserved to! I was panicking about it since Mr. Suzumiya told me that Kenma could be a potential investor if he wanted. And I needed cash... "

"Do not call me that publicly. You are disgusting."

"He went full sugar daddy on me!" You cackled. "His entire squad had betrayed him! They were canceling him so he just fucking slid into my DMs apologizing about the shit he did and I told him, bitch I'm coming over there and see you play this fucking game or I will not stop this canceling and make it worse. So he was forced to telll me his address and I'm not sure if yall saw the live but it was hot shit. The next day he bought all the copies of PPM at this one store and gave them to me and then he invested shit ton of money on my on going works, bought me a new tablet, paid my Keiji bills, and many other shit. Yall would die to have him as sugar daddy I'm telling you. Ya don't even have to give him sugar for the treats. "

"That was the biggest mistake I made."

"Awwe, but thanks to that we're closer than ever. "

"Exactly my point."

"Thank you for answering Ms. LN."

"I hate you so much." Kenma sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No you don't. Admit it you love me."

"I really don't. Next question please."

"A-Ah, my initial question was actually answered in the previous question. It about your live. Now my question is, Ms LN and Mr. Kozume, is your relationship really a platonic one or a romantic one? "

"Okay, babe," You chuckled. "my man won't even let me breathe the same air he does. Ya think we're dating?"

"Well your right."

"What?"

"Excuse me?"

"Huh?! " You exclaimed a little louder than you thought since the mic made a loud noise.

"The relationship we have is both platonic and romantic. As labels aren't placed we share a romantic relationship." Kenma smirked.

You looked at him and the crowd with a clear eminent blush. "I-I I- Wh-"

Pulling you closer to him and turning around so the crowd won't see you both. He lowered the mic to prevent them from hearing.

"I wanted to see you all blushy and panicked . You look adorable." He whispered to your ear before facing the crowd again who were now going crazy over what Kenma had just confirmed.

"Y-You're an asshole..."

"Yeah, an asshole who..." lowering his mic again he leaned to your ear. "Still has your favorite onsie at his place. You really shouldn't have left it at my place. I'm so tempted to burn it."

"You leave my onsie alone! I will drown your consoles."

"With that threat, you're suddenly stripped of your house visit privileges."

"W-Why would you say we're dating?!"

"I didn't. I just said we both share a romantic and platonic relationship with no labels. I technically didn't lie too."

"Why did you do this?"

"Aside from wanting to see you all flustered? I'm probably drunk." Kenma smiled and turned to the crowd again. "Next question please."

Previous | Masterlist | Next

I'm sorry lately there's been to many words and less pictures it's just that... Idk

Lol I'm sorry this was supposed to be smau but there's been too many words

Ooc Kenma is shit so I made him drunk

-kookie-doughs

Taglist?

@gayer-than-the-gayest-gay @synx-ed @normalisthenewnorm @0majuh0 @leachann @nikanikabitch @almondeupeach @immxnty @mer-majesty @yamayoomi @simpingoveranime-men @lostmarimoismyhubby @mariishat @just-snog-already

[msindrad]

I swear, I’m not making up for quality with quantity this evening, and this one is both actually funny and has some meta in it

It’s ironic in a non-literal sense of the word that Crowder’s Commandos might actually be the most harmless thing Boyd has organized over the course of the series. I mean a bunch of bank-robbing Nazis that blow up churches (however questionable the status of Israel Fandi’s marijuana church might be…) does sound very, very bad, you don’t need to tell me, a Jew with her manifold experience of Anti-Semitism, about it. But I can’t help thinking that the things we see in the pilot are actually the worst things that Crowder’s Commandos have ever done. Allow me to explain.

1.1:

Art: That's where he got involved with the Patriot Movement and the white supremacy bullshit. Got to making horseshit bombs, you know, fertiliser and fuel oil. They'll come into a town like Somerset and they'll blow up a car. Then while the cops are busy, they'll go rob a bank.

We have no mentions of hate crimes in Art’s retelling of Boyd’s file. (I won’t attach the close-up of Boyd’s file itself because it’s barely readable.)

1.1:

Boyd: Well, what do you think I like, Raylan?

Raylan: You like to get money and blow shit up. I know about your friend Devil and his record selling dope. And I'm willing to bet that you blew up that church in Lexington, not because it was black but because it was a dope store. Ten-to-one says you got paid to do it by some other dope dealer around who didn't like the idea of that preacher getting a free pass from the police. Win-win for you, wasn't it, Boyd? Not only did you get to blow something to smithereens, you got money.

Raylan is right about Boyd in 95% of all cases, and Boyd’s grimace as well as his subsequent behavior in the scene indicate that Raylan is definitely right about him this time:

Also, Walton Goggins is an incredibly sweet man (for which I love him to no end), and he insisted on Raylan making it clear to the viewer that Boyd does not believe a word his says (nb: which also makes his conversion after the pilot so important and radically different from everything he has done before) and also asked to delete or rewrite many remarks that were present in the original pilot script which he found especially awful and OOC. And we never-ever hear Boyd saying any racist shit after the pilot, do we?

So, Boyd didn’t commit any hate crimes, and he doesn’t believe in what he’s preaching at all. What he’s interested in is blowing shit up and being paid. Johnny knows Boyd well, and he confirms that (1.10):

Johnny: Okay. Well, listen, all I know is that white-supremacy thing you had going on before, that was on the money. Shit, you want to rob some banks, get some of them knucklehead Nazis do it for you. That shit was genius.

Then:

3.3:

Devil: I remember when you recruited me. Took me to that church, showed me your ink. I thought to myself, "This here son of a bitch is crazy, preaching race war in a goddamn church." But, boy, I never believed in anything the way I did those Commandos. Yes, sir. You know, and then your Marshal friend shot you. It all turned. Some said you'd gotten religion. Others said you'd gone crazy, betrayed your father, - all them people hanging out in the wood.

 I want to remind you that Boyd found Devil playing cards in 2.10, and Dewey was more interested in finding a way to sponsor his libido (2.3) than in anything else:

Dewey: Yeah, I'm afraid I got nothing for you right at this second, but I'll be back real soon, and I'm gonna be flush.

Sure, they’re both openly racist, but it seems to be a prevalent attitude among hillbillies of Harlan, Bennett, Lexington, etc., and the important thing here is that they’re not actively trying to hurt anybody, like, for instance, Jared did. Being a Nazi is definitely less of a political stance and more of a preferred/adapted lifestyle for Dewey, who nostalgically remembers being one of Crowder’s Commandos like this:

6.1:

Boyd: What do you want, Dewey?

Dewey: I want to go back. I want it to be like it used to be at the church, when we was Crowder's Commandos.

Boyd: You, me, and Devil.

Dewey: Yes! And the Pork brothers, giving me no end of shit. The music cranked so loud that we almost blew the roof off that old church. Bombing around in my Cadillac and making war plans and drinking 'shine. Why can't it be like that again, Boyd? Those were simple days, good days. Weren't they?

 What I’m trying to get at here is that I think that Boyd’s Commandos might have been Boyd’s Boy Scout equivalent, and this is where the “funny” part of this post begins. Because, as already established, I’m very tired these days, I tend to amuse myself with all kinds of absurd ideas, and one of the most absurd of them is my recent idea of a Jusitified parody musical or just musical (I love how most scenes in musicals are written to support a very specific motif/theme that helps to turn them into musical numbers). And whenever I hear the song I’ll Make A Man Out of You from Mulan, I imagine a parody version of it about Crowder’s Commandos.  

(If anybody’s interested, I can draw it (during my lectures, lmao), too, because for that my drawing competences would probably suffice.)

[serenagaywaterford]

5) Honestly, imo it would made a lot more sense if Serena got involved with the Resistance after 2x08. She's a writer and a good propagandist, June's an editor, they could carefully go behind Fred's back. Also, Commander Lawrence is there. They could have brought down Gilead from within. Maybe I'm being simplistic, but I think it would have given a nice msg. An instigator (and impassioned supporter) of a misogynistic (and homophobic) totalitarian regime becomes a victim herself, but decides to

6) to do sth about that monstrous situation she created, even if that means that she will go down with Gilead. Then again, I do understand why the creators didn't go there. This is the handmaid's tale, not the redeemed fascist's tale. Regarding 2x10, oof. I pride myself in having a hard stomach, but that scene made me REALLY, REALLY uncomfortable (and ENRAGED). (A lot more uncomfortable than the previous ceremonies, which were terrible enough on their own, AND Eden's death* .) And given that

7) Serena has the gall to tell Fred that June hates him, because he raped her. Like bitch, stfu, it was YOUR idea! You raped her and used Fred for the penetration. And not only that, but she manipulated Fred/played him like an instrument. She knows at this point that he's a serial rapist/abuser AND in love with June, so ofc he wouldn't decline the opportunity to abuse her once again. It really is telling that June was screaming Serena's name, not Fred's. I wonder wtf was going on Serena's mind

8) to put the baby's life in danger. She could have punished June after the birth if she really wanted to. That being said, I personally think that Serena was kind of OOC in that episode. Not because she's an angel that is not capable of such hideous things. But, after taking under consideration 2x08 and 2x09, I felt that her 180° change came out of nowhere. Especially, since she took a small taste of her own medicine. She knows what abuse/domestic violence feels like. As for the marital rape,

9) it may have been clichéd, but it would also have made sense. A person that repeatedly rapes a woman, beats his wife and is okay with mutilations draws the line at forcing himself on her? Since when do creepers have standards? One last thing, because I've spammed you enough. *I mentioned Eden's death (which made me cry like a baby). How do you feel about her? Bc was disappointed that the fandom blamed a 15 year old child that was forced to marry a man twice her age. Not only that, but she

10) forgave him and kept Nick and June's secret? // END OF RANT // My apologies.

---------

I think I have to put a read more here! Eep!

“Then again, I do understand why the creators didn't go there. This is the handmaid's tale, not the redeemed fascist's tale.”

I had to laugh IRL there. Cos, it’s true. It’s June’s story, technically speaking, not Serena’s. And I dunno but I feel like I suspect that’s where they eventually want to take the show. But S2 is too early for that? I personally don’t know why. There’s no law an American programme must go one for 14 seasons. It could easily be a 4 season series. Or 3! But I’ve read things that Hulu wants to keep it going as long as possible. Huge mistake, imo. Organically speaking, Serena changing course after 2x08, or even, at a push, 2x09 would have made much more sense than this “will she? won’t she?” BS they keep doing with her. I think she’s come around in a way she hadn’t before by the finale (or Eden’s murder). But it still doesn’t seem like it’s something she’ll carry through with--especially without June. It’s interesting how much Serena relies on June for incentive/encouragement. Basically everything Serena’s done in resistance since mid-S2 has been because June has done or challenged her or said something to prompt her. I feel on her own, she would be ~meeker. Even things like, “Hey, so I know this way to possible save the baby... what do you think?” is clearly her going “Please say what I want to hear!” It’s like she can’t just do it herself. She needs June’s input. June was calling almost every shot in 2x08. In 2x09, when left to her own devices, Serena folded. It took June screaming at her in 2x13 for her to do anything about reading. So, without June around I feel like Serena will just go back to old ways. Which is ridic cos she is an intelligent, powerful woman when she actually has the balls. The only thing Serena manages to do on her own is assault, hate speech, and war crimes lol. The easy shit.

That said, I kinda like how they ended 2x08. I loved Fred seeing the rose on June’s bedside and putting all the pieces together and seeing that as the true threat: Serena and June as friends/partners in rebellion. The beating scene was horrific too, mostly cos I’m not one of those weird fans that was sitting there cheering, “YAY I’M SO GLAD SERENA GOT BEAT! SERVES HER RIGHT!” (I just... want to throttle every single person who’s said that. Not necessarily cos I wuv woobie Serena sfm but because way to miss the point of the entire series.) but the aftermath was even worse, imo. June reaching out and attempting to maintain the bond, but Fred managed to break Serena really easily. Like it’s just so awful how easy it was for him to snap that bond, cos he knows his wife and her pride, etc. It was ... so manipulative and evil genius. (Although it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out, Freddie boy.) It was just such a prime example of exactly how they maintain power in Gilead and how they managed to get it working: estranging women from each other. And it was just such an apt way of visualising the concepts June talked about in S1 about keeping women at arm’s length of each other, suspicious, etc. in order for men to keep power. So, in that sense, I thought it was well done. But then... I was like, “OH FUCK THIS. NOT AGAIN. FUCKING SERENA. WHAT A DISAPPOINTMENT. WHY CAN’T SHE BE STRONG LIKE JUNE. UGH.”

I dunno.

Yeah. 2x10. I was “lucky” to have seen that scene ahead of time... so I was prepared when it happened during the episode. But it was still repulsive. Aside from the nonsensical writing of the whole thing, it was just gross. And I think maybe you’re the first person that when talking about this has mentioned how grossed out you are by the other Ceremony scenes. So many people just... don’t really mention them. I remember the article about 2x10 and how the showrunners were saying something along the lines of “Is it really that big of a deal when the same thing has been happening the entire time?” Nobody reacted the same way those times, because the Handmaids are quiet and well-behaved during their rapes, even though, on some level I think Serena and some other wives (IIRC) are completely aware of how terrible it is (Serena even admits as much...but does it anyway uuuggghhhhh.) This is the only time June ever fights back and suddenly not only are Fred and Serena faced with the brutal reality of the act but as the audience we are as well. It’s easy to look the other way when nobody is crying or struggling but WHAM. Fuck that. This is gross and horrible and here is what it REALLY is. And it’s hard to swallow.

June crying Serena’s name was probably the absolute worst part, cos it just makes it crystal clear that everyone knows exactly who is responsible for that rape. June knows who has the power, whose idea it was, and she knows the only one to stop it is not Fred. (God, I fucking hate Fred but like you said, he was totally played by Serena. I don’t let him off the hook for it but really it was her idea, 100% and he just thought “Hell yeah! Sounds good!”)

I feel like as much as Serena understood the Ceremony is pretty bad generally, I don’t think she recognised it as “real” rape until that moment. I feel like a lot of those Gilead people are just so willfully blind and selfish and horrible that they actively refuse to see things. Like Serena’s weird ass enthrall about child brides. I know some of that was to get back at June but she seemed genuinely awed by how beautiful it all was. NO BITCH IT’S NOT. IT’S CHILD ABUSE AND SEX TRAFFICKING. 

I just have given up trying to understand why Serena would do such a monumentally STUPID and DANGEROUS thing if she honestly cared about the baby--which, incidentally, I do believe she truly loves Nicole and babies. As crazy as that is. Even if her love of Nicole specifically is totally a self-centeredness. But she loves babies. Babies above all else apparently, including other women. And she’s not an idiot. Baby health aside, that is a HUGE crime in Gilead to rape a pregnant Handmaid for any reason. I’m supposed to believe Serena is just so massively upset about June’s false labour that she goes mentally insane, even after being subjected to the similar treatment like a week earlier? It’s a huge, nonsensical risk on basically every single level. 

I’ve come to the conclusion, considering all those things you did, it was just bad writing. Her 180 just... is bonkers. I give up. I don’t think there’s any way to logically get from 2x08/09 to 2x10 without taking some leaps. Do I think Serena would punish and abuse June for humiliating her? Absolutely. That’s her MO. She lives for that shit. But rape? It... I dunno again. Fucking weird. I don’t know if it’s on purpose or what, but I do find it interesting that after that Serena never raises a hand to June again, when she had some opportunity. She still punished her by separating her from Nicole but she never physically assaults her again. (Not that I’m saying she’s a changed person or anything. I just thought it was curious but I don’t know if it was deliberate on the show’s part or just a symptom of lack of real opportunity.)

ITA re: the marital rape too. I see no reason Fred wouldn’t escalate to that. It’s all Joseph Fiennes fault. Which is probably what pisses me off the very most. He decided that was just too much for his character? C’mon. That’s too much but what Fred does in the next ep is peachy keen? Oh, right, because in 2x10 we can blame Fred’s behaviour on his evil wife. It’s not really his fault. I see. But you can’t blame Serena for him raping her. Ugh. So, cos, Fiennes doesn’t like it, we lose way more context for Serena--who, lbr, is the more important character in this whole series out of the two of them.

EDEN. OMG BB EDEN.

I’m with you. I was actually pretty disgusted at fandom’s response to her. SHE IS A CHILD. But all these Nick/June shippers were going hogwild attacking her for getting inbetween their precious self-insert fantasy relationship. (I have a particularly low opinion of Nick/June shippers primarily because of their reactions to Eden, tbh. Before that, I was like whatever, each to their own.) This is a story about women and girls in a horrible society, and the focus seemed to be on tearing apart this female child for something she had zero control over. I never got the “Eden is evil and gonna fuck shit up for Nick (and June)!” vibe. She seemed to be a regular girl caught and raised in a misogynistic awful place and just lost. I absolutely ABHORRED the way Nick treated her the entire fucking time. (I honestly hate him so much, and most of that again is due to him since the forced marriage, both in the way he was with Eden and with June. And the number of fangirls fanwanking away all his shitty fucking behaviour and throwing Eden under the bus didn’t help my attitude.) 

She’s a KID. FORCED TO MARRY A GROWN MAN. A man who it wouldn’t kill to just be straight up with her and a little bit kind. Fuck. (Serena’s grooming certainly wasn’t good either. Like, seriously lady, shut up. Stop pressuring the kid to fuck an adult man who hates her by telling her “Well maybe you can like it too!” AHHHHH.)

To me, aside from the babies/children, Eden was the most truly good character on the entire show. She was patient, kind, caring, FORGIVING, loving. Completely innocent bb girl. And then she gets fucking murdered for kissing a boy she actually likes and wants to be with. Which, was ........... wow. Gilead’s hypocrisy killing a pious young girl, presumably fertile... Yikes.

And that little girl was more brave than ANY other character. And maybe some of that is teenage thinking but still she was staring down death and refused to back down. Sure, it’s unreasonable, and an adult likely wouldn’t have made that decision... but also what was her option? Repent... and become a Handmaid? That would have been her fate since she’s an adulteress and fallen woman. And since she truly believes in goodness, and God, and Heaven (presumably), she sees it as a way for her and Isaac to be together. Meanwhile, it took a literal death sentence for Nice Guy Nick to actually recognise he could have maybe been a bit kinder to her. Then she’s asking for HIS forgiveness. AH. Eden bb.

I have a lot of feelings about Eden, and the way fandom treated her. Even when she was killed, fans were still calling her stupid and annoying for her choice--likely the ONLY real choice she has EVER had for herself. (I think that concept gets forgotten.) Like WTF sort of world do you live in that you watch a show about fascism and female oppression and turn around and bitch out the YOUNG GIRL strictly for being a young girl in a fascist society?

But hey, this is the same fandom that calls Janine annoying and crazy, and says Serena deserves to be beaten and mutilated by her husband/Gilead. Way to miss the point of the entire show. But that’s a totally other rant for another time, heh.

Also, anon, NEVER APOLOGISE FOR YOUR RANTS. They are so wonderful to read cos I completely agree! And it’s just such a relief to see reasonable people around these parts. 

[mama-ghostie-61542]

A Thousand Lifetimes

Rated M++ for language and themes

If you recognize it, IT AIN'T MINE.

Sorry for the OOC-ness

Chapter 4

Wolf--

"If I hear the word 'Mom' anytime in the next five minutes, you are, all three, gonna lose grandparent privilege's! Enough with the fighting. 'Kala, you need to get over there and do your homework."

"But, Mom," my younger son shouted. "I can't do it alone."

"Yes, you can, dear. All you have to do is write the words in the blanks."

Mornings here were always crazy. This year, they got worse, with all three kids home all day and me working three jobs from home, while taking a few classes to keep up my certification. But what would do my head in were the constant conflicts of scheduling the boys services around project deadlines. Especially when my childless brother was my boss...One of them.

A text came through ~'Hey, Bry, do you have those reports ready? I have to submit them to the bank this afternoon.'

Loveland Demolition was well known in the Midwest, and had been doing well before the pandemic, but now, we were expanding again. I dug around in my ever expanding pile of outgoing paperwork for the fax copy of the expense reports my brother wanted. Why everything with this end of the family business went through me, I would never know. Maybe it was because he had named me our VP of NE Operations. Like I didn't have a decent job already. I mean, I didn't get my Doctorate for it to look pretty on my wall.

Speaking of, I have a class in 15 minutes. Botany of Common Herbs.

I sent off a quick message, ~ I faxed them yesterday. Did you not get them before the boys did?~

My brothers pit bulls were notorious for grabbing the pages as they fell out of the fax machine and shredding them.

A few minutes later, he replied, ~Dammit, Pita! The Pain got 'em. Already in transit?~

~Yep. UPS grabbed it yesterday. Email?~

~Ok. No. Need hard copy. Will reschedule with the bank. Do good in class today!~

About that time I got a plastic cup thrown in my general direction with my oldest son yelling, "More water! Please, Mommy."

Thankfully, my Botany Professor understands me being a little late, as she has a Downie of her own.

I get his water, and as I am standing at the sink for a few seconds extra to breathe, I feel a cold spot on one hip and the pressure of a thumb on my cheek.

'You are amazing, my Queen. You've got this.'

I smile as the feeling, and the ghost of his smiling eyes fades. How does he always know when the stress is getting to me and just what to say; just what to do. It's like I don't have to say a word, he just knows.

Great....Now I am gonna be all giggly the rest of the day. Probably gonna get an email from my Professor, too; nosy old bat.

Kihyun PoV

It was almost 22:00 when I felt the wobble in thin silver thread that connected us. As I reached for it, I felt her stress and frustration start to bleed through and somehow, instinctively knew what to do. It bothers me when she gets this stressed, because she forgets to take care of herself. And then the tension lodges in her back, manifesting as a knot just to the left of her spine.

Settling myself into my meditation, I could almost see her standing at the sink, working on something. Always working, this girl; whether it's on her actual job, her side hustle, an Etsy store where she sells knit caps, or the boys' homework. She ALWAYS has something going on. Her brothers hare-brained decision to expand the family business does not help in the slightest.

As I settle in, I can hear the din of the kids yelling, a timer going off on something, and from some where, another louder ding. She is amazing, how she can just take it all in stride. Some how, I know, she just needs a second to breathe, so I imagine my hand on her hip; stopping her right where she stands.

I visualize my hand cupping her cheek, and whispering to her, 'You are amazing, my Queen. You've got this.' I can't help the smile that spreads across my face as I see her smile. That soft, sweet smile, that just borders on the verge of blushing. I send how I feel seeing her smile down that thread and, some how, just know that she will be smiling all day now.

Awakening from my meditation, I glance at the clock. Hmm. Time for bed. But first, I am curious about the next chapter. How in the hell, with everything else she has on her plate, did she find the time to write this.

I set back on my bed, my pillows piled up behind me, and start reading.

Still Joey

I couldn't sleep so I got up at sunrise and made coffee. Sis woke up a little while later. I heard her alarm go off and then, I heard her sniffle a little. As she stumbled to the kitchen for her morning coffee, her whole bearing was like all the wind had been sucked out of her.

My heart went out to her.

"Sis. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Joey. Just my own brain. Think I am going crazy. That's all."

I'm right there with you.

"Explain," I said.

Rather than use actual words, she put on 'Comatose' by Too Close To Touch. "This says it better than I ever could."

I set aside the story and brought up the song. As I sat there listening, I could almost feel how hurt she was. How she thought she was going crazy. I wanted, so much, to fly to her, where ever she was.

"Sissie," I sighed, "What is the matter?"

"I think I am losing my mind, Joey. I just don't want to remember, if remembering is always going to hurt. I'm afraid that it will cost me the one of the two things I am most afraid to lose; my kids or my mind."

"You aren't going crazy, Sis. Who told you that you were crazy for feeling like that?"

"Mom. According to her, I am. Apparently, it is all just a construct of my own mind. Can't be real because it's all in my head, but it is all that I could ever dream of. It makes me want to sleep until it is real. I want to forget the way his voice sounds, cause it hurts too much to hear it when I am alone. I want to forget the color of his eyes, but I see it everyday in my coffee. I want to forget it all, so it doesn't hurt anymore. There is no way he can be real. No way his smell can be real. The more I remembered, I guess, the more I want to forget."

"Bryn, tell me about him?"

"What does it matter? He is no more than a fantasy my own mind created," she said as she dug in a cabinet and added a more than generous amount of Jack Daniels to her coffee.

"Bry! Really??"

"What," she groused as she sipped on her coffee flavored whiskey.

"It is barely sun rise and you are already drinking. What would he say if he caught you?"

"Doesn't matter," she grumbled as her bottom lip pulled in a little and blinked rapidly, a sure sign she was fighting back her own tears. I could see her start to fold in around herself.

'No, my dear, I am very real. And very disappointed.'

"Bullshit," I yelled. "It does matter! I will prove you wrong. I'll prove to you that he is very real," I growled in my own temper, as I leaned over the table at her, "and I know him. He would be so disappointed in you, right now. Instead of working with the connection, you were trying to drown the memories in whis-," I came to a dead stop as I realized what was actually happening. "How long have you been fighting them? The memories, I mean."

'Told ya. Wait. What!? She'd been wrestling with our memories? Oh, my stubborn Wolf, you were never meant to carry them all yourself.'

She deflated and slid the mug away from her. Resting her head on her arms, she whispered, "I was 14 the first time I remembered anything. At the time it was no more than a whisper, a cold spot when I was upset or hurting. Which, lets be honest, was a lot of the time back then. When I was 16, I finally worked up the courage to talk to someone about my dreams. My mistake was telling Ma."

I cringed. I had heard nasty stories about her mom, but sat still and let her continue.

Is her mother really that bad? How much of this had she been keeping from me.

"She went off and let loose a litany of my supposed short-comings. I still remember it, to this day. 'You are so stupid. Why would any man, especially one like THAT, want anyone like you. Anyone else would be better than YOU; you stupid, worthless, ignorant, ugly, child.' After that, I went back to keeping it all to myself. This one," she said as she brought up Forest Blakk's 'Find Me', "Says it all."

I put on the song and knew how it had hurt her for years. My anger burned when the artist spoke of being told you were crazy. 'I want her, you Crazy Bitch. Good Mother, Please,' I started, before thinking better of the prayer that had been on my tongue a moment ago. 'Please watch over her, Grandmother.'

Hearing her own mother call her those things, was tough to listen to. But I could tell she still wasn't finished yet. I let her go, she had years of this pain to offload.

"As I got older, it changed. I was almost 26 when the burn of a kiss landed on my cheek. My ex-husband, at the time, saw the blister it left and went ballistic. Woke me up by kicking the end of the bed. 'I want a divorce. I don't know who he is, but I plan on making you pay for it. Now, get your stuff and get out.' And I paid for it, alright. Didn't even bother to ask if I had it the night before, just assumed I was sneaking out. I never did. Looking back now, maybe I should have left the first time accused me. The ink wasn't dry on the divorce papers when he got remarried. Literally, got them both done in half an hour."

"Are you kidding me? He wanted to accuse you, but he...," I will admit that I was finally starting to see just how messed up her life had been. "Did you love him?"

'Messed up,' I thought, 'No, Sir. Her life has been a craptastic shitshow of epic fucking proportions. Honestly, I would like to know what fucking moronic bastard ordered this shitastical fuckfest for my Queen! I'd like to fucking throat punch him.'

She shook her head. "No. My mother sat it all up. Literally walked into the house Friday afternoon and said, 'You are getting married on Monday at 9.' He was getting deployed and she thought he would be a good fit for me, that she would get grands out of the deal. She didn't find out he was fixed until he was already gone. That is where I learned to keep my hair really short. He used to drag me around by it and scream about all of the things I did. The next day he would scream and drag me around by it to yell about all the stuff I didn't get done."

"So it was more or less arranged?"

"Yeah. After that, I met the asshole. The day he left, I had just buried a brother, and I had lost my job; all on my birthday. After all that, I fell into a deep depression. To the point where I would wonder sometimes why I was still breathing. It was in that place that I saw him. It was no more than his eyes, the exact shade of my coffee, and that voice, but still; if not for him..." she trailed off, a haunted look in her eyes.

After a few minutes of her staring off into space, I prodded, "If not for him?"

She turned and looked at me, "I wouldn't be here. I would have cut ties with this world and willingly walked right into that darkness. I can remember him telling me once, 'Don't you give up. Don't you dare give up. Get up, keep moving.' It was those eyes though, watching them seem to burn in the darkness. They stayed with me so much that I drew them at least a thousand times."

"Really?"

"Yep. Dark eyes that burn," she chuckled. "Got called crazy for that one, too. 'Why do you always draw the exact same thing, ya crazy bitch? How about a tree or a nice mountain. Why is it always those damned eyes, Not that a worthless bitch like you can draw anyway.' So yeah, there's that."

"Hold it. She actually called you worthless?"

Bryn just nodded. "Multiple times, and ugly quite a few times. At the end with the ex, she told me, 'I hate that when I, and she stressed the 'I', put a block in your path, you seem to dance around it and go off into the woods and still end up on the other side. That you whip off of the beaten path, going God knows where, on some barely visible game trail, and somehow still come out on the other side, just where you meant to be'. She said nothing pissed her off more than my ability to adapt."

'That's my Ghostie,' I thought as I smiled proudly. 'Her ability to see things others miss, explodes lower minds.'

Now, I have seen pictures of her mom and old photos of Bryn when she was younger. Let me tell you, when she was young, Bryn was coltishly pretty before becoming ethereal. Not that you could tell it now. Now, she jokes that she traded looks for brains about the time she got her doctorate.

"So, how did you end up with Clark?"

"He was there and I was getting tired of waiting, tired of my Auntie's trying to set me up with whatever boy they could find. One tried to set me up with her ex-nephew. That was nothing but awkward. We are still good friends, almost family. He has said before, 'I love you to bits, but that is icky, you are like a sister to me. Now, please, go throw on a skirt, you have amazing legs and should show them off.' That boy can turn up the girlfriend vibe in 3 seconds...flat.

I know someone who can do that. Weird.

"In the end, I got tired of the pitying looks I would get at the family things. Truth be told, when I told him to either commit or get out, I thoroughly expected him to take off at a run, like he couldn't get away fast enough. Before I knew what had happened, he told everyone I had proposed and picked a Saturday. After that, it was a whirlwind and I almost took off."

"Took off? Eloped?"

She snickered. "No. Ran away. Far away."

"Oh. So you almost pulled a runner?"

"Oh yeah. Had my bestie stand up with me because I knew that if Haka showed up and objected, he would have knocked Clark to the floor to give me time to run."

'I very nearly did show up.'

I thought back to what I said when he finally left.

"What did I say?" I stood there, leaning on the doorway, arms crossed over my chest, fingers tapping on my bicep. The look on my face was thoroughly parental.

"That it would never work."

"And....."

"You were right, I was wrong, I am sorry."

"You gonna listen to me from now on?" My face was passive, but there if she had looked she would have seen the anger in my eyes. I wasn't mad at her, I was more than a little upset with him, though.

"Yes, Dear."

"Good Girl. I'll be home as soon as I can." I cupped her face, kissed her forehead, and said, "Don't do it again. Next time you won't get away with it, my stubborn Wolf."

"Next time?"

I was turning to head back to my body, "First one doesn't count. It was arranged. This one, you got swept up in. Don't do it again. Now, go to sleep."

I had to breathe a minute against the anger building in my chest. Then, I went back to the story.

"You call him 'Haka'? That's cute."

"Yeah, he's Heyhaka, the Elk. Haka, for short. Then there is Sweet Pea, and the occasional Assbag."

"And is he often a jerk?"

"Nah. Only when he is making promises he has no intentions to keep."

'Listen here, Lady! I fully intend to keep them when they are made, Woman!'

"I really don't think he would make them if he didn't intend on keeping them, Sissie. Sometimes, circumstance gets in the way, and then they don't get the focus they deserve. How does he phrase it?"

"All he says is 'Soon'."

I laughed. "The word 'soon' is not a promise. It's an open guarantee."

"What?"

"It's a half promise. He can't put a time on it so he just says soon. You know, sometimes you can be kind of dense."

'Exactly. You are kind of thick sometimes, Darling.'

Bryn's cheeks pinked. "Aww, shut the fuck up," She laughed.

"You've got a potty mouth!"

My jaw dropped. 'Naughty.'

"Like you didn't know or don't have one of your own. Has he not told you the extent of my sailor's mouth?"

"He doesn't know that I know you. I get to hear about everything from both sides. Kinda makes me wanna poke my ear drums out sometimes."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. You two are fuckin' perfect for each other."

'I guess we are, huh?'

About that time, the kids started waking up. Davidd was first, followed by Mattie, and then Darryn. I was sitting on the couch, getting the walkthrough of how to turn on the cartoon channels when Mattie climbed up next to me and curled up in my side.

"Morning, Munchkin," I said cheerfully.

She sagged against me and whispered, "Morning, Uncle Joey. Can I have some new milk?"

I was taken aback by the simplicity of the request. "Shouldn't you be asking your mom for that?"

"I would but Daddy called and him and mama got into another fight."

'And that just cashed out my good night.', I thought as I could have sworn I heard a knock at my door.

A-N:) Please don't shoot the messenger. Spirit put up some of the tags. Lol.

[sadbi-hours]

Oh the 100th episode of ahs!I.Fucking.Loved.Every.Damn.Second.Of.It!

Okay, sorry...y'all can sue me but I gotta give it to Ryan Murphy a bit here! He delivered...that fucking shit was everything I'd been waiting it to be! It was entertaining as all get out to me...it was wild. The music was magnificent, especially the wonderful atmospheric use of the Smiths 'How Soon Is Now' at the end! The acting was even more on point then ever before...and you know what, it was just good ole' fashion 80s slasher fun and craziness!

Episode 6 did not take itself too fucking seriously like some of the others eps have and, don't get me wrong, I'd have been okay with that...if it hadn't been poorly excuted in some areas...but anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I didn't for one moment take this episode seriously and I loved it dearly for that!

I didn't get pestered with deep ass questions that I knew I was probably will never get any answers to--though there is still a bit of time and would like a answer to a few of them--nor did the ep or writing try to get me figuring out what the overall storyline was...and the greatest miracle of all, there was no insanely unexpected plot twist waiting in the wings for me to flip my lid over!

Oh I bet you could imagine the immense sigh of relief that I took when this episode was over...and I wasn't having some form of a mental breakdown...my god, it could be heard in every room of my house!

This episode for what it was was fantastic! I love it...I adore it...and I have very few gripes with it--or at least for now knowing my overanalyzing ass!

But anyway, Brooke, I just have one thing to say...WILL YOU MARRY ME? She's become my ride or die...my main chick! I freaking loved her this episode, especially in that (spolier) during her execution speech to Margret! Oh man, I was just...

So fucking proud. My bby...my light...fire of my loins, I adore you with every fiber of my being...and I'll never doubt you again! You have my forever love 💘

And I loved how she told RR and Satan where to shove it! Iconic!

And poor Mr.Jingles' being a whole ass fucking mood during the beginning of this episode...all fed up with RR's shit and just like...

That freaking look on his bloody face as RR murdered all those people was priceless...and so me haha! I just know that he was lowkey wishing that he had just fucking let himself die up at Camp Redwood in 1984! He was tried of the same old shit and I don't blame him, Benji has never been about that life...and also that scene with him sipping on his Tab all slow and delicious like as RR gets his ass beat was hilarious!

But yo seriously, why you gotta do my man like that Ryan! He just chilling with his wife and baby...working a peaceful job rewinding and renting out videotapes..and I'm not gonna lie, I was mad jealous! It's like lowkey my dream of mine to work at Family Video for a living...and get to interact with like minded staff and video renters who love movies as much as I do...and recommended good ass movies to people all day long who are less of a movie geek as me. Yes it is a life's dream...i'm not much of an overachiever! I'm easy to plese lol...and mad props to Benji's movie choices. I most certainly approve...who needs that horror shit, huh? Haha!

But anywho, I felt a mad sense of connection to Benji this episode. He just wanted to live peacefully with his wife and son! He didn't give a single fuck for Camp Redwood...and he shouldn't. He got the happy ending he deserved...and RR's ass had to fuck it up for him! But I'm living for how Brooke, Benji, and Donna are probably going to be TG i guess! I didn't expect it...especially after all the fuck shit they had been through, even though I still kinda care less about Donna!

But I will give her this...she made a fucking entrance at the end of this episode! I never felt so happy to see someone I lowkey want to taste the blade! Angelica Ross was working it at the end there.

So I totally...at least for now, agree with how's one TG per say! My vengeful angels came to collect names...and fuck Margret's shit all the way up!

And to Margret...and now by extention, BD Trevor:

IT'S ON SIGHT!!! I just felt y'all should know that! If not from me...than trust Brooke or Chet gonna make you taste that steel blade.

And you know what, Chet's call for blood...ain't even mad at it! It's what she deserves...he got her slippin' and she needs to pay. And bruh, Trevor man...👀 watching you my man! I'm hoping you'll turn it around...but I doubt it! You got that Xavier and Chet logic going on...they did the soft good boi bby route and look what it got them so...

And speaking of Xavier...and Montana...

(not mine! credit goes to the owner!)

Need I say more?! I can die happy now...my only gripe is that I want fucking more of it! Give me more more more! Please and thank you 😏

And yes for right now, I am discounting that it's OOC for the Xavier's character arc..but you what, fuck it, I enjoyed it the living hell out of it!

Plus, most of episode 6 is set in 1989...so he's been stuck up at CR for nearly 5 yrs....and nothing good or bad he's done has gotten him out of there. So I don't mind encouraging a little bit of mischief...especially when it invloves Billie and Cody making out. I'm sorry...but yes, I'm that bitch tonight! Ryan Murphy's telling us to fuck the character arcs he's built...so I am too...for now.

And Ray, bro...

I mean yo, you ain't wrong...we really shouldn't just be k wording people left and right for no reason...but he's just such a whiny bitch about it! And where do you get off being high and mighty moral king, when you've been cleaning up their messes...I mean RIP Ray I hardly know ya...but I'm sorry I'm different, I'd be telling them to clean up their own pile of dead bodies! I got better things to do...so sorrynotsorry! Maybe if you had been written better I would care...

And I loved Montana's 'What about my murder...don't I count?' and even with my forever love for her, I was lowkey like No Montana...you hella deserved that shit! Plus, you doing you...living that extra dead afterlife with your man's! So Stay in your lane...count those blessing!

[prcttylittlethings-a]

since i’m down to 10 drafts ( woo ) and my muse has been crazy lately, like and/or reply if you want a starter from stella ( ana de armas ), madison ( kaylee bryant ) or zelda ( camila mendes ) and you’ll see that soon ! 

[prcttylittlethings-a]

book blair!!! please say more. i am soft

book!blair is the absolute love of my life !!!! i could talk about her until the end of time; while i enjoyed the cw version of gossip girl, that blair ended up deviating from who blair cornelia waldorf was so much that in my head they are just. two different entities. when i make my characters ( specifically zelda monroe, as well as ‘retired’ muses geneiveve marin and eleanor hawthorne and to a degree, aylin kaplin ) ‘blair’, i focus more on the blair from the books than i do the blair from the television show.  i know there were restrictions on what you could portray on the cw in the early 00′s, i GUESS, but she was so important to me, personally, growing up. she is responsible for my kate spade addiction, my constant attempts to be the ‘cold hearted brunette ( who’s secretly a softy )’, and really was the main reason i wanted to start going to nyc when i was younger in the first place.  she was complicated, damaged, terrible, manipulative, manipulated, scared, strong - just. everything. the closest thing i get to have her in is my what is you is me verse with @mctionsick who also listens to me liveblog the books when i am rereading them ( i paused in the middle of the...fifth one again i think ) and cries about the relationships she had with both nate AND serena ( they were all supposed to end up together !! thanks for coming to my ted talk !! )  she is my idol, my inspiration, my everything and that’s probably not Great as a full grown adult now but she has been my #1 for almost twenty years now ( rip ) and that is just never going to change. if you want to talk to me abt book!blair at ANY point you absolutely can IM me here or on my personal - @rachelblairy - because i do regularly have breakdowns about her there as well :) 

[prcttylittlethings-a]

❤  𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐈'𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑!

1. alias / name: ashley. i have never gone by an alias because i am awful at hiding myself. this is my place bitch i wont hide who i am !!!

2. birthday: july 24th 

3. zodiac sign: leo

4. height: 5′4″ 

5. hobbies: this, mostly. reading, a lot. does watching tv count? i think watching s/upernatural should at this point. shopping but i need to stop that. taking notes on things i’m never gonna do anything with. 

6. favorite color: pink!!!!!

7. favorite book: the answer i usually give is ‘to kill a mockingbird’  because that’s all time favorite, but honestly it’s probably a tie between that, ‘dare me’ by megan abbott or ‘sharp objects’ by gillian flynn. they’re the ones i read the most often. 

8. last song:  fuck if i know. i was listening to podcasts. i remember ‘i won’t give up’ by jason mraz playing at work?

9. last film / show: i couldn’t tell you what the last movie i watched was if my life depended on it but i’m literally watching s/upernatural right now 

10. recent reads: i reread sharp objects because @mctionsick was reading it, but i just finished ‘the unraveling of cassidy holmes’ by elissa r sloan and just started reading ‘we were never here’ by andrea bartz

11. inspiration: anything & everything. music, movies, tv, a picture with a vibe, a text post with a vibe - my brain never stops and it is almost rude. 

12. story behind url: based on a book i read a billion years ago, pretty little dirty by amanda boyden

13. fun fact about me: i now have opinions about beef because i work in a frozen meat market. my cat is literally everything to me and she talks almost as much as i do. i have an alien named henry who hangs out in the living room.

tagged by @mctionsick

tagging @sanamuse @illuminatcd