#i've been meaning to post this with a fanart but my hads work like shit lately

[vinivan]

*Noiz and Koujaku fighting over dumb shit as usual, and Aoba and Clear just existing*

Mink, a known moronsexual : fuck, shit, damn it- *riiiip*

[elanorpam]

it's been way too long since i last did wildly self-indulgent fanart, so of course i did it for an SVSSS AU that doesn't even have any actual fanfiction written of it yet. but what can i say! it's a compelling scenario! Just check the original post for details!

here's a workplace doodle for his mess of an outfit, too:

Xin Mo is floating behind his back, wrapped in talismans. the collars are meant to be vaguely inspired on a flower bud.

Some notes i came up with for this version, copied straight from a month-old discord convo:

he may have protagonist halo now, but he's for sure not a stallion protagonist. he literally exchanged fates with his favorite person in the world in order to spare them a hellish trial-- that's romantic as fuck!! damn!! this is old CLAMP shoujo and no mistake!!

binghe may no longer be the protag, but he's still a half-heavenly demon. power-wise, heavenly demons can't be topped, and all the remaining heavenly demons are accounted for. so, SQQ can't be a heavenly demon, even in part.

HOWEVER, as a protagonist, there's a factor more important than power! it's the CHUUNI FACTOR. what's more CHUUNI™️ than being part demon?

one option is being part demon and part angel.

how would that even fucking work??????? IDK man, you can either pull from chinese folklore for fairies or heavenly beings or spirits, or you can blame Airplane and go "he accidentally implied the existence of christian elements by means of importing unexamined anime tropes"

Shen Jiu conveniently has a big fat blank on his parentage. We as fans can and have put whatever the hell we wanted there.

SQQ would jump into the abyss still under the impression SJ was a shallow villain. If his trip through the abyss involves recovering SJ's memories somehow, that sure would be fun times, huh?

so he awakens a mysterious ancestry and survives the abyss and takes Xin Mo, but he probably takes longer than Binghe did due to being squishier.

but Xin Mo isn't ACTUALLY his! so he papers it over with sealing talismans, and to battle the temptation to wield it he takes to wearing these longass sleeves. they're probably covered in talismans as well.

guessing Xiu Ya stayed behind to be mooned over by the clown trio in Cang Qiong. let's go full sparkle-sue here and say he's now fighting almost entirely via musical cultivation. i like swan-necked konghou harps so let's go with that, it'll look dope.

why is he barefoot? why WOULDN'T he be, is the question. fragile!! suffering!! dainty!! he's a shrinking flower, tormented by the weight of the One Sword To Rule Them All!!

also for extra pathos, his constant mental struggle against Xin Mo means he can't spare energy to front. it takes constant focus! he's still a bit in his delusional shit, but even when he's going "oh no, binghe is only latched throat-deep onto my dick because he's a good boy who's concerned about me and the danger i could pose by losing control" he'd probably… well, he'd probably say that out loud to anyone who asked. he's in a half-trance, mentally battling the crazy-making sword. lying is too much work.

Wouldn’t resisting Xin Mo’s influence be the mental and spiritual equivalent to training under 400x gravity or something? his wife-beam is going to be off the charts when he puts it down.

also also: who the hell dressed him like that? fucking shang qinghua, of course, after SQQ showed up in the northern palace to punish MBJ for hurting binghe in the conference. did the system explain shit to SQH? on the one hand, extremely funny if it updates him on the role change out of nowhere mid-alliance. on the other hand, extremely funny if he only finds out because Binghe is crying safely in Qing Jing while the scum villain apparently jumped into the abyss.

Here's another link to the original AU post! I've had it open on a tab all this time just so i could point to it when I was done, so make sure to check it out!

[ygodmyy20]

Opps this post got forgotten! But if I don't post it today when will I!?

Okay so, I've been thinking for awhile on the question: why do I like terumob and why did it take over my brain? What is it about it...what caught my interest. As someone who was very NOT into ships when i first got into mp100, why did I crashland into this one?

This post has been in progress for like....weeks now? Nearly a month? 3 months? Yea.

Okay so. Here we go. THOUGHTS! On terumob and why the fuck I like it. Below the cut.

Like I mentioned, when I first finished Mob Psycho 100 in June of this year I wasn't into any ship. I was actually REALLY NOT into ships. I really liked gen. I wanted to explore the characters and I loved the complex relationships between everyone but I didn't want it to be overshadowed by romance. I purposely steered clear of any and all ship art.

But then I started to see some TeruMob fanart and I was like "Aw man, they are so cute and squishy." And I started to like them....just a lil bit. ONLY A LITTLE BIT.

BUT then I read more Teru-centric fics, read Teru analysis' and then I was like. Oh shit, Teru is 100% so into Mob it's like....this kid has it bad. He has a major crush. And even on the rewatch I am like WOW yep, confirmed in my brain, Teru has it bad. The subtext of his pinning is JUST so there for me. I didn't even have to look hard for it. I suddenly was very in on the Teru-one-sidded part of the ship.

But here's the thing, I'm not a big fan of ships like that... feels too unrequited. Hard for me to really like it. I need to have some level of something from both sides. Just how I am.

So that still leaves the question.

When and how does Shiego liking Teru work? Is there any subtext for that or am I just making it all up because I want the ship to work for me?

(which also is fine ya'll, no judgement if you ship two characters that barely interact, thats the fun of fandom stuff!)

I mean, all things considered, Shigeo likes Tsubomi. Scratch that, he REALLY likes Tsubomi. Shiego loves very strongly, like all his emotions. And he definitely likes Teru, they are good friends, so I kept thinking: where and how does that cross into a crush to me, for these characters?

Teru cares a lot, he adores Shigeo—Shigeo is kind, he is powerful, he is everything Teru wants to be. But are there places where I see this same level of intensity from Shigeo?

Annnnnnnnd then I got to their fight in season 3.

Everything Shiego did to Teru was so pointed. So raw and angry. Like I said, I think Shigeo feels his feelings very strongly and, I don't know, just the fact that he PERSUED Teru to humiliate him EXACTLY in the same way again, tells me that their first meeting had an intense impact on him. We don't see a lot of his feelings on his meeting with Teru, besides the brief ??? in that episode. After meeting Teru, it's just...life goes on as normal for them. But deep down I don't think Shigeo ever really tackled his complex feelings about Teru and their first meeting.

So it all comes out, its all be stewing for AGES, and what comes out is mean. It's aggressive. It's almost sarcastic? It's what happens when we let things chew us up inside and comes out all twisted.

Teru evoked such a strong reaction from Shigeo, even if Shigeo didn't admit it or express it, that I can't help but think, after things have settled, after he has spent more time adjusting to his whole self...after they both take time to really examine themselves and grow....

....that Shigeo wouldn't develop stronger feelings for this boy who also turned his world upside down. Who made him feel such strong emotions, who changed his world too.

Teru was forever changed by meeting another esper his age.

I think Shiego was too.

And I think where I started to love them was after the finale, after Teru's acceptance of Shiego for who he was.

I don't want to pigeonhole any of the espers into only being able to date other espers. But I also....yes, Shiego is a normal kid, but he is also Shiego.

Teru is a person who understands the strength it takes to keep that power, who has seen Shiego at all sides. His best and his worst.

But gosh this scene....

OUGHGGH

JUST THROW ME IN A RIVER WHY DON"T YOU

Yeah this whole scene just.....just yea. OUGH.

But yeah I just feel like Teru's crush would only grow after that. He would see Shigeo as a person over an all powerful esper.

While I like to think Shigeo's would develop over time and them smack into him like a runaway freight train. Because Shigeo FEELS so strongly, for all his emotions. He feels sadness strongly, he feels love strongly, he feels anger strongly—he just feels everything SO strongly. That is why he is powerful, that is why he is who he is, that is why ??? became what it is.

Anyway. My thoughts have ended and that's all i got. Thanks for coming to my ted talk of rambling mess that has been in progress for months that I realized whelp with the anniversary of the end of S3 nearly here, mind as well post it.

[creepylittlelady]

wait, I don't understand why fanon Masky is so hated?? /genq (I was never really that interested in him tbh so I only know shit about him.)

OKAY, I can answer this one!

I'm happy that the whole fandom turned around on Fanon Masky recently (at least, I believe it must have been recently considering Cheesecake Masky was a thing before I 'left' the fandom), since that version of him is a bit problematic lol

If you've watched Marble Hornets, then you'll know that Masky and Hoody are REALLY scary (seriously, I had nightmares about Masky for absolute weeks), and work against the Operator. However 'fanon' Masky is a loyal employee of Slenderman/The Operator (I'm gonna make a post addressing the differences one day), and isn't really all that scary?? From what I remember, he was mainly joked about as being the 'Sensible one' of the Proxy trio (Him, Hoody and Toby), who was basically the dude always tired of their bullshit. Not only is this the complete opposite of how Masky is, as he would NEVER work FOR his enemy, who literally ruined his life from childhood, but it also sort of flanderised him and no longer made him scary, which is something the Creepypasta fandom tends to do a lot lmao

Another thing is his sudden change of character design. A lot of old Creepypasta fanart depicting him from 2013-2017 show him with lighter brown hair and a yellow jacket, which isn't what he looks like at all?? Actual Masky has much darker hair and I don't think he's ever seen with that ugly ass highlighter coloured jacket.

There's also the complete change in his body type, definitely one of the most controversial things about Fanon Masky. Let me first say that I do not believe that Tim Sutton (Masky's original actor) is fat, I'm not sure WHERE the old Creepypasta fandom got that idea from. Fandom in general, especially the Creepypasta fandom, is quite 'fatphobic' from my experience. What this basically means is that if you're not a skinny twink you will be body shamed in every way possible. The Creepypasta character market has always been oversaturated with men who basically were twinks, with slim and pale bodies, such as Jeff the Killer.

I believe that making Masky so thin came from the fact that when the Creepypasta fandom really took off around 2013-ish, a lot of Creepypasta fans looked for content and eventually I believe that a lot of them must have stumbled across Marble Hornets. Upon seeing Masky and Hoody, two characters that could have passed off as Creepypasta characters (as most of the other characters in Marble Hornets looked like ordinary people), the fandom probably adopted them and adapted them to 'their tastes', no matter how good they were or not. It might have also been a game of telephone too, as maybe a Creepypasta fan's friend of a friend told them some info about Masky and they misunderstood and instead of who Masky actually was, saw him more as the silly goofy masked guy. And to be honest, I don't think the Creepypasta fandom has ever really been known for actually doing their research, so that misconstrued version of him just became canon in everyones minds.

Not that it was always that innocent though...

One titular thing about fanon Masky was his strange love of Cheesecake. I myself saw a lot of it in 2016 sewed into every bit of content for his character, and was confused on where it came from. Then, I found out that it was meant to be a joke SHAMING him for 'being fat'. I originally stumbled across this for the first time in a satire comic, where one of the panels is Hoody chastising Masky for eating cheesecake, stating that Masky will become fat. The cheesecake joke is one I've seen in some fandoms before, albeit in different ways and with different foods. For the life of me I cannot figure out why everyone decided to associate him with Cheesecake, but everyone just did.

Fanon Masky is a perfect example on how fandoms can flanderise characters to the point where they're unrecognisable; pull up a picture of Masky in the Marble Hornets and then a Masky fanart from 2015. The difference is STAGGERING. The Creepypasta fandom is very much infamous for flanderising characters, such as making Jeff a misunderstood bad boy, Toby a waffles-obsessed manchild, and Masky a Slenderman-loving, Crayons and Paper-having, Toby-hating, Cheesecake-eating twink.

TL;DR: Fanon Masky was made as a shitty misconstrued fat joke.

[notasapleasure]

Wild hopes for Andor S2:

Oh, apparently blorbo *might* be in the trailer? Riding a speeder on Dantooine you say? Aughhhh don't toy with my emotions like this!!

So for posterity, before anything about s2 does actually become clear, my vague hopes/'if I got to write their story' headcanons for my Ferrix badasses are a jumble of the following:

I don't see them immediately going back to Ferrix, they're recognisable (Bix is known to the Empire, Wilmon will be known by association with Salman, Bee is known as Maarva's droid, they had an eye on Brasso as 'the big guy' even before he fucked shit up with the funerary brick...and I can't remember Jezzi doing anything specific but she'll have been seen round Maarva's home and funeral), and riot or not, I'd say the Empire will be in the mood to make an example of Ferrix rather than to go 'oops our bad we'll leave you in peace'. So it seems a bad idea for the fugitives to return there for their rebellion as soon as they've left.

On that ship we know there's a skilled electrician (Wilmon) and mechanic (Bix), and I've always presumed Brasso must know his way around a ship well enough to be able to take it apart, and that Jezzi has some similarly Ferrixian industrial skill. I thought it would be very sexy if they all got involved in making/repurposing tech for the rebellion. In my heart of hearts they're patching together the first fleet of X-Wings.

Orange. Ferrix orange (Brasso's felt jacket orange) and rebel pilot orange. And there's the shot of Cassian in an orange pilot's suit in the trailer. I just. I just have hopes. And dreams. And colour was so significant in Rogue One (the red of the force/rebellion...there was an awesome post on here pointing out way more examples than I'd noticed, but I always think of the lining of Jyn's vest). Maybe it's reclaiming Narkina orange, even? But the look of the Ferrix clothes reminds me so much of the OT aesthetic, I think that's got to be the more likely connection.

Bee? Kay? Do they meet? ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ trying to suppress the thought 'what if Bee helps to make Kay possible?' but the thought has been thunk. (ETA: NOT into the theory that they're the same person that's not what I mean. I'm talking hardware donation. Wires and chips. Not personality)

Dantooine. Dantooine base. After all this time!!!! What Legends book did I first read about the base on Dantooine in?? idek but if I'd ever written the epic angsty plot follow-up to that one fic (only ever just one night) it would have involved the Ferrix gang making X-Wings work on Dantooine :') I have feelings about Brasso the wrecker learning to make things instead :))

It should go without saying that I want to see Bix channel her healing into getting stuff done and fucking up the Empire.

I guess my feeling is that if we're time-skipping over a five year period in a, what, 12 episode season? There's not time for a huge arc for all the Ferrix characters alongside everything else the show needs to cover. My cautious assumption is that this either means a load of them get killed off/sidelined early, or they're kept together in the same setting so their stories are interlinked, but presumably with focus remaining on Bix (and Bee). Dantooine/wherever the rebel base is beforehand/the move to Yavin struck me as a good place for this, where they can still be brought in and out of episodes through whatever time-skips happen because it's a place the title character is going to be coming and going from regularly, like Ferrix is in S1. Naturally it is a selfish thought to want to recreate the S1 dynamic :)) because I want my blorbo(s) to get to be relevant and a part of Cassian's life still, but if that suggestion about Brasso on a speeder on Dantooine in the trailer is remotely accurate then I will cry happy tears.

Who knows, if they get to survive, maybe all those heart-pulverising fics and fanarts about Cassian's (glass) stone being laid on Ferrix will find a place at the end of the series?

[moorishflower]

Okay, so I told myself I wasn't gonna dwell on this and I really am trying not to, but I figure this is a good opportunity for people who are newer to this site (hi reddit!) and newer to transformative works (hi again reddit!) to see what's absolutely not appropriate behavior in a fandom space.

And this is it. Rest below the line, for brief suicidal ideation mention (in the far past I am fine!!!!)

So, I'm mostly glad that I'm the one who got this anon, and not someone else. I'm fairly emotionally stable, I'm an adult, I have a full time job, I don't rely on tumblr to feel like I'm worth something. I've got other things in my life going on, and the reason that I write isn't for clout or for comments, but because a. it genuinely pleases me to do so because it's MY hobby, and b. I have a few close friends who enjoy my writing and if they like it, then I'm happy. Everyone else is amazing! The comments, the fanart, the kudos, the likes, all of it! You are all amazing! But at the end of the day, writing is, again, MY HOBBY. I don't do it because I want to make a living off of it! It doesn't matter to me, ultimately, if I get better or not!

But if you say shit like this to someone younger? Less stable? Someone having a hard time? Someone whose sense of validation comes ONLY from online spaces like tumblr? You're going to hurt someone. When I was in the worst depressive swing of my life, when I was 15-16, a comment like this would have been enough to make me want to kill myself. Not because the comment is true! But because my brain would've PERCEIVED it as true. I am very, very lucky that I had the chance to put in the work to get where I am today. Other people aren't as lucky. There are other people who would put far, far more stock in a message like this.

I've already blocked this anon (it was an empty tumblr, so like...you made a tumblr just to send a mean message???), but if this person somehow sees this post, I guess my question is, what were you hoping to achieve here? What was your goal? Did you want me to...stop writing? Because you continuing to read someone's writing past what you consider their "good period" is on you, bud. Did you want me to feel bad? Why? What does making a person feel bad do for you? Does it make you feel better? And if it makes YOU feel better to make another person feel bad, a person who is putting their work out on the internet for free for others to enjoy with no expectation of reciprocity...consider, anon, do you maybe need someone to talk to? Are you okay? How are YOU feeling about YOURself?

[diezmil10000]

2023 art summary + thoughts on my own art progress under the cut!!

(template by HedgeCatDragonix on deviantart)

so i've been doing this for 10 years :P

i'm not posting these pics in high quality, they're somewhere on the internet if you want to scavange for a bit. i didn't start taking art seriously until late 2015 and i honestly don't like looking back at old drawings. i still like my 2022 art summary but it wasn't until this year that i'm proud of all my finished artworks.

my art journey is complicated. i'm not one of those artists who can say they've been drawing for all their lifes. i used to trace pokémon in my school agendas but that was it. around 2013, a couple of friends invited me to their Skype server where we used to draw each other's ocs and make art memes and stuff - it was fun and cringe in the most positive way i can say it :] i didn't know shit about art and i took pride in drawing on MS Paint with a mouse just because it was hard.

(all of my drawings until may 2018 were made with a mouse)

when i was 15 yo i got into Love Live! and i decided to get better at art because i didn't want lesbian fanart to be made only by creepy cishet men. at some point i watched this video from Sycra and it rewired my brain. i understood that i needed to actually practise and understand what i was doing, and that i wasn't going to improve just by observing. its follow-up video also helped me a lot, i remember watching it on the day it was posted jskhfdjdfd.

and so fast forward until 2021 approx. i spent all of those years practising drawing in my traditional sketchbooks, so my improvement was steady. the only problem, and in retrospective i see it as a Big Problem, is that i was grinding mindlessly. by that i mean that i copied artists i liked and i drew again and again stuff i was bad at, but i didn't think too deeply about it or analysed my own art to look for faster ways to improve it. i also don't take feedback well so i didn't ask for it either, which further slowed down my progress.

on top of it, that just made me better at drawing, not at illustration. i firmly believe that a good drawing is hard to ruin but i could have made my illustrations way more interesting if i had started going wild with colors and effects way earlier. i don't exactly regret my choices because at the end of the day it's just my hobby, and i've been praised for drawing a lot and for challenging myself to practise drawing traditionally, so i want this to be read as introspection rather than complaints!!

the reason why 2021 was a big change in my art is because in november i did this monstrosity:

i got an Android tablet to be able to draw in class and took the challenge alongside my friend Nico, who also did their own Huevember. hola si estás leyendo esto Nico, aunque lo dudo :) i can't say that any of the drawings made me better at anatomy, or composition, or colors. i can't say that they solidified my knowledge, either. but they planted a seed in my brain that would fully bloom in late 2022, which is the seed of hating the finished result of some pieces so much that i forced myself to improve.

everyone has their own motivation to get better at art and i've always thought that mine was a healthy one (i want to draw more lesbians, that's all). however, i've had a very solid 2023 and now i don't cringe at any of my pieces, plus i can notice any mistakes they have without wanting to delete them from existence - and i could only get there because at the end of 2022 i told myself i wouldn't make any more ugly illustrations. like, period. i didn't want to get anxious every time i had to look back on my own art.

i also learned that no ammount of compliments from others would magically make me like a piece i see as mid at best. of course, i appreciate every single nice comment i get (genuinely, i get very happy knowing that other people love my work), but gratitude doesn't fix a skill issue.

so, late 2022, many things happened. first i got cancelled on twitter over a drawing of my beloved mizuki from project sekai (this info will be relevant later). then i spent a whole month doing this other monstrosity that is to this day the best thing i've ever done. i haven't peaked it (yet):

this comic actually made me improve and solidify my skills. it wasn't a class assignment, or a collaboration, or anything more than a headcanon i shared with a friend - it was pure brainrot over Revue Starlight and it made me put all my cunt into it. this was also the point at which i started filling in blacks with the bucket tool instead of picking a very dark color, which is a big part of my current style :3

the thing about people cancelling me is that i had to distance myself from fandoms and eventually change accunts, which also affected how i perceived my own art. even if i draw for myself, at the end of the day i still draw characters that are loved by many people, so i disabled comments and stopped interacting with other artists of my fandom circles. that led me to go on hiatus at the start of 2023, knowing that it was time for a fresh start (my art accounts were 5 years old anyway).

that period of time made me think a lot about my finished pieces. since i wouldn't post them until i had a new account, i would stare at them for longer than ever or make small changes even if days had already passed. letting my mind rest from illustrations i had been working on and knowing i could change them whenever i wanted was a big step forward.

i realised that for the past years i had been in a hurry to post my drawings as soon as i was done with them instead of appreciating them. that was a turning point for my mindset. this was also past the time i decided to stop making ugly art, but i hadn't really taken any measures to get better. so i changed the wording of the challenge: i can make ugly art but i can't post it if i don't like it.

it doesn't sound epic, but for some reason it worked. every time i was in the middle of making a drawing that looked kind of ugly, i changed it until it looked right. not perfect, but good enough to avoid cringing in the future. some times i had to redraw it from scratch with a more interesting pose. some times i needed to add a background or a graphic element to make the characters pop. and somewhere on that period, i went wild with colors and effects, and a lot of times that saved a piece that would otherwise be boring.

i have to thank Revolutionary Girl Utena and Revue Starlight for making me experiment a lot during my hiatus. both pieces of media, one being the daugher of the other, give artists so many visual metaphors and interesting topics to work with. the revstar brainrot had been there since the junnana comic, but rgu was something i had been meaning to rewatch for a couple of years and it hit me like a fucking train. it also made me create one of the comics i'm the most proud about:

then i got into homestuck and my art got. well. stuck!! >D< but it was okay because i wasn't making ugly drawings anymore. i was putting into practise a lot of things i had been learning or experimenting with, especially regarding colors and character interactions. and the yuri was delicious hmmmmmmm.

the rest of 2023 was very linear in terms of art but not so much in terms of fandoms (?). which is fine, honestly, but i was also glad to get back into Fire Emblem: Three Houses in late that year because when i first got into it in 2019 i didn't have the skill to draw everything i wanted to draw. and i still haven't drawn all the yuri scenarios that i've been cooking in my mind, but i have until forever to do it!!

so for 2024 i want to study some stuff i feel i'm still lacking in. i think i've always had a good eye for composition, but i've never actually pushed it in my finished illustrations - they depend a lot on the poses because i've always been prioritising drawing over everything else. that needs to change this year.

i also want to get better at drawing characters from extreme angles. i've always felt like my poses are a bit flat and i think i can study photos taken with wide angle lenses to improve at that.

and of course i still want to draw faster, which is something i've always struggled with. i think i have a good rhythm of "producing" art (excuse me for the poor wording), but i'm still too slow for the kind of artstyle i want to achieve, which includes having a looser lineart and less details in irrelevant areas of the drawings. i think that overdoing the lineart actually hurts my illustrations, because everything ends up pulling the viewer's attention with the same energy. i also think messy artstyles are neat.

i promise i'm not crazy and i don't hate what i do. in fact, it's precisely because this year i managed to make some pieces with that kind of feel that i know where i want to aim. special mention to the junnana comic because i haven't been able to replicate that lineart ever since.

examples:

as for the stuff i like about my current artstyle, i definitely want to keep the way i color!! and by that i mean the method i have for applying filters that make my colors pop. i could maybe play more with textures too.

i also like the way i depict intimacy, and people have praised it too. thank you for noticing. it's the yearning that's doing it, not me. but i don't think i'll ever change the content (?) of my art, i eat breathe and speak in yuri. if anything, there are still some ways of conveying feelings that i haven't been able to draw because i lack the skill to do so, but i'll keep trying ;)

i honestly didn't expect this post to be this long. i've been writing for hours now and i'm not sure my thoughts are coherent for anyone that isn't me. i also can't grasp the idea that some people know me from fanart i did in 2016 while others started following me last month, time is wild and it's an extra dimension of complexity that i don't know how to account for when i write stuff like this.

but again, as i do with art, i've written this for myself. it's been nice to put my thoughts in order. i think i've only talked about art in depth with like 5 people and it's always been in casual conversation. no creo que estéis leyendo pero Nahia y Henar os amo y he aprendido mucho de vosotras.

thank you for reading until the end if you have. i hope you have not only a nice day but a nice year. let's meet again in the future.

[yuurivoice]

I think alot of people are worried they'll make something you won't like because alot of creators are very stingy about what they're fans can and cannot make. (Not including NSFW or Ai creations)

Alot of fans don't wanna upset or make their favorite creator angry because their fanart doesn't adhere to their rules

Oh yeah, I get it and I appreciate the care. I try to elaborate and break down my perspective because in my experience there's some murky waters you can get into as a creator when you've got a budding community of really excited fans and you're really active engaging with the fan works. I've been through the ringer in that regard, from the ground up, so my approach is based on those years of experience.

I think a fandom of any sort should just be able to fool around and do their thing. While I have things I do and don't love........that shit ain't really my business, and no one should be creating anything on the basis of me seeing or feeling some type of way about their stuff. While the cozy we're all friends/family community vibes are fun and can be awesome, that shit will eventually lead to headaches that I don't want to deal with. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate or am not interested or anything, but I'm very wary of how excitable fans might react if one person gets "attention" and they do not, etc.

Which to a lot of folks might sound silly and like something that doesn't happen. Bubba, I promise you it has, it could, and it will again. Forever. Especially for something as personal and intimate as this particular niche.

90% of folks have always been excellent but the 10% has been nuclear and gross and not a great time. After a few trips around that block, I don't have the time and energy for any of that.

That might be a jarring change of pace for newer followers who might have other experiences and expectations from other communities and junk. Might even look like I'm a dick because I'm not falling over myself to engage with every post, but I've been in the trenches, have had uncomfortable parasocial interactions, have had people get weirdly possessive jealous and intense, have had a long list of shit that I now have very particular personal policies in place to ward off.

Saying all that to say, I don't concern myself with what people are up to so long as they aren't outright stealing shit without credit and passing it off as their own, or doing really obscene shit to harass folks. Otherwise, I think it's healthiest for all parties involved if I'm not stressing over what strangers on the internet want to make and they're not worried they'll upset me.

Obviously every creator is different and your mileage may vary from case to case. Shoutout to the folks who haven't had to deal with that and those who are chill. Perhaps I'm overly cautious at this point but I'm cool with that.

Basically, I get why folks would worry, and I'm trying to make it clear why that ain't a thing around here. It's one thing when people very specifically bring stuff TO me, or ask me something anonymously etc, but if you're just posting? You should be free to do whatever, that's not my business and you should be posting because you're having fun...not wondering what my dumb ass is gonna think about it. 😂

[cyaneyedcl]

fandom culture rant

tldr; dont go shitting on people's works just bcs u didnt like it, thats some disgusting asshole behavior, fuck u if u do so.

and pls show your fanfic writers lots of appreciation, they are the biggest backbone in most fandoms, they deserve nothing but love.

there's something so insane and illogical when it comes to the people that read fanfics (which have clear explicit and alternative universe tags) and proceed to complain about how these had — surprise, suprise! sexual content and scenarios/personalities that weren't an exact copy of the ones in the source media.

and usually one would want to believe people will keep their opinions to themselves or rant about it in a private space with close friend(s), because that's the bare minimum one can do to show some respect towards a writer that shared their fanwork for free.

but recently, that's not been the case.

bcs now there's this new trend going around (specifically in tiktok, to the surprise of nobody) where people publish videos talking about how a certain fanfic was — and i quote — "incredibily ooc", "genuinely weird", "overrated", "poorly written", "a freak fest".

and this type of behavior wouldn't be so shocking (even tho is not ok) if it was coming from one random person in the internet, but because this is happening in tiktok (which is a well-known platform for having the biggest audience reach when it comes to social media apps) the hate is extremely amplified.

when i tell u the amount of hate these tiktoks gather is insane, i mean i've seen them surpass the 3,000+ comments (which is more than half of the comments the fanfic has). and most of these consist of people sharing their even more aggressive opinions about the fanfic, or even saying how "this other fanfic is better".

it honestly mind blows me every time i see this happening, because — or at least in my experience — there's always been this unsaid rule (even though i'd dare to say it's more of a sense of logic) in fandom spaces where everybody knows that if you didn't like the work of a fan, you close the tab and move on with your day. because, what do you gain for belittling the efforts/hard-work someone put in something that won't change the source media, or ur life?

and if you are one of those bystanders that applies the whole "people need to learn to take criticism" to this situation then u are wrong. no debates. because,

in this case, this so-called criticism it's just a sugar-coat for hateful comments.

that is NOT how criticism works, not when the author didn't ask for any feedback what-so-ever and even less when we are talking about a story that nobody pays for to consume it.

it's baffling to see readers develop this liberty that makes them think it's ok to say whatever they feel like saying about fandom works, without taking in consideration that behind every fanfic, fanart, music, skit, etc. there's a person that probably felt proud of their work and is happy about creating something.

also, i feel in the need to clear out that even though i'm talking about a specific fanfic in this post (which is in the tags in case u haven't figured it out yet), it's definitely not the only one that's received this treatment. i've seen it happen in the kpop, danmei, and harry potter side too, specially in marauders.

i believe this behavior is due to a shift in fandom culture that started because of covid, but that's like, a whole other rant post for another day.

[irithnova]

The way white hetalians, especially fairly popular white hetalians, react to poc who actually speak up against racism is really telling.

I'm sick and tired of having to hand hold and coddle white hetalians when I call them out on questionable behaviour to try and convince them that no!!! I still think you're a good person despite the fact that you've already blocked quite a few poc who are vocal about racism even though they've never interacted with you, even though you're excruciatingly exclusionary of non white nations, post ignorant and historically deaf takes and repost literal n*zi fanart!!

I find it incredibly telling when a white hetalian already has a bunch of vocal poc blocked even without ever interacting with them. Because I know exactly what they're trying to hide.

Like. Why should I, a poc, have to hold your hand while I explain to you why other poc are upset with your post/posts. Why do you see this fandom as a safe space away from poc and away from any and all forms of accountability. As if a poc didn't create this manga/anime in the first place. You guys are fucking pathetic lol.

Btw before anyone says "if you don't like it then leave!!!!!!!!" lol what a cheap copout plus I've been in this fandom for 8-ish years in total now so obviously I enjoy hetalia enough to stay. Imagine telling someone who wants to fix their home to just move to a new one. Because fuck trying to work to improve anything right? If you try to actively improve the quality of the fandom (like. make it less racist) then obviously you must hate the fandom and you're only here to whine!

If anything, people, especially poc who are vocal about the racism care more about the fandom space than the hetalians who brush it under the rug. And I find it absolutely hilarious when popular white hetalians block small poc creators who are known for calling out racism/ignorance. Doesn't look good bestie x

For a while now I've pretty much curated my fandom space to include people who are similar to me and have similar interests to me because I wasn't a fan of the racism I saw when I first joined quite a while back. I reach out to the wider fandom again after a hiatus and yup still having to deal with white hetalians not wanting to take accountability for their racism, ignorance, and exclusion.

I mean, the fact that with the poll argument I had with a larger white creator ended with them not even uttering an apology, whining the entire time about being "harassed", not taking anything I actually said on board and that the only reason why they were no longer doing the poll was because they had a "private conversation" with someone about how the poll wouldn't work, and not because a poc (and others) called them out for being blatantly exclusionary to non white nations...

That's not the only incident if anyone accuses me of milking the situation, there were incidents before that and after and a lot of my poc mutuals/friends still deal with a lot of shit on the daily.

Anyways maybe try to listen to poc who actually speak up against the racism/ignorance in the fandom rather than speed run blocking them, talking down to them, tone policing them and ignoring them. Thanks.

[scurvgirl]

I was tagged by @energievie and @callivich to answer some fun Gallavich questions!

What’s a fic you’ve read more than once?

There's A Class for This by @sam-loves-seb. It is just so soft and normal and intimate and it just...it hits all the things for me. I love it so much.

What’s a gifset you always have to reblog?

A few scenes - the club kiss and the van kiss are definitely ones I will always want to reblog because they are just so so good. I also love the "you're so sensitive" deleted scene kiss.

What’s a headcanon you can’t stop thinking about?

Mickey exploring his wardrobe options and fashion sense. He clearly has an eye and a feel for it and I think it is something he would enjoy exploring years down the road when he's more comfortable in his identity.

What’s a fanart you love looking at?

All of them, but in particular I really really enjoyed seeing all of the AUgust dress-ups by @suzy-queued, those were so fun, I love them.

What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration?

I want to write that fashion designer! Mickey AU so bad. I have lots of thoughts that are very scattered and disorganized.

What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else?

My opinion on Debbie definitely changed following some analyses here on tumblr. I think I related to Fiona a lot and saw Debbie through Fiona's perspective and that really negatively colored my perspective. I will say that my ire has turned towards the writers, and writers for shows like this in general tbh, for honestly doing a shit job of portraying a sister relationship, even one as parentified as this.

What’s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of?

I'm not sure!

What’s your favourite season? And has this changed after multiple rewatches of the show?

It switches between season 3 and 4...though I do like season 2.

What’s a plot hole you wish had been answered or resolved?

The cartel???? They after Mickey or not???

What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough?

In the show or in fandom because those are two separate answers. In the show? We all know that one. In fandom...hm. I've seen so many good analyses, let's see. Oh, this is going to ruffle some feathers but Ian going to Trevor after losing a patient on the ambulance and how that paralleled him running to see Mickey, and how different it was at the same time. Mickey immediately softened his demeanor, immediately put himself in a potentially unsafe situation for himself to comfort Ian. Trevor was thinking of himself in that moment, not about Ian, and I think it really encapsulates the differences between the two relationships. (NOTE: I don't think Trevor was a good romantic fit for Ian, I think it would have worked better as a friendship!)

What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship?

This song - particularly "I wanted more than you could give me, so certain for a 15-year-old, something 'bout you feels like caffeine, pure gold."

I also like this song for Mickey specifically - particularly "I was far to scared to hit him, but I would hit him in a heartbeat now, that's the thing with anger it begs to stick around // It makes you hurt the ones who love you, you hurt them like they're nothing."

What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale?

Directly post finale I want them to adopt a dog, I think it'd be good for both of them. It can go running with Ian. Snuggle with Mickey. Be in their Christmas cards that Ian INSISTS they get now. For kids...I go back and forth on this, honestly. I think it would depend if Mickey was serious about putting the work into his anger and identity issues. I don't think they should or would rush into parenthood at all, I mean, they're still really young in the finale - 25 and 27. All things going well, I could see them pursuing parenthood in their late 30s tbh.

Thank you for the tag! I am very tired and feeling kinda shy since I haven't been as active as previous - but if you want to do this, feel tagged by me!

[prismatoxic]

i've told parts of this story before, but bare with me, i'm emotional.

so like, i've had this blog since 2021. my original tumblr blog (made in 2011 iirc) was nuked in 2018 for exactly the reason you think (nsfw ban) and i didn't return for a handful of years because it stung so bad. even when i did, i mostly used twitter.

i started posting to tumblr more regularly when musk's twitter takeover finally pissed me off enough to ditch it. (i have since gone back, sort of, but am not reliably present and mostly just rt art people send me.) i've been pretty consistently here since then, sans a very angry break when all the shit with automattic's CEO happened.

and like... looking through my archives... i only made a dedicated tag for asks last july, even though i've been using an organizational tag system since i made this blog. that's how infrequent they were. my art usually got between 0 and 3 notes. when i left briefly back in january, i deleted every post in my art tag because i didn't want to leave my work here, but also, like... the only things that went anywhere were some of my mgs fanarts. no one owes anyone's work attention, but it didn't feel worth it, you know? like why share it with the public when i can just show it to the like 3 friends i know who care?

i came back partially because i felt... isolated. i have friends on the fediverse and on discord, but tumblr gave me a sense of being in a community, even if i didn't feel like an important part of said community. i missed queuing funny posts to enjoy weeks later, i missed being kept sort of in-the-loop about fandom goings-on, i missed my friends who were still here. (and that last one is also part of why i check twitter more now.)

but that alone wasn't enough, because i was a nobody here and it probably wasn't worth it to try again. but then devot and i started watching dungeon meshi, and i got into chilaios just like i thought i would, and tumblr has the largest concentration of chilaios fanart and posts. not only that, but every post i saw in the tag had so much engagement! i didn't see a single one that went unnoticed, back in february. so i hesitantly came back. i started reblogging chilaios posts. i didn't intend to try and break into the space because i knew it'd just hurt if i went unnoticed again, like i did in other fandoms.

but i made friends, little by little. i started a fanfic. i cautiously began posting my art again. i started writing meta, and shitposts, and replying on other people's posts, and commenting on other people's fics, and now...

that ask tag i mentioned? there are 15 pages of posts with that tag on my blog. only 2 and a half of those pages are asks from before i got into dunmeshi. people talk to me--they care about my thoughts and my opinions, they compliment the things i make. i have a group of like, 30+ people i interact with regularly, many of which i now consider close friends. everything i post gets some attention, no matter what it is.

this isn't a humblebrag, it's just... a thank you. i can't really properly express the depths of the loneliness i've felt in the past. i was an outcast for a long time, and it was way worse pre-2019, but i don't think it's ever fully left me. i've been hurt very, very badly in the past, and i've been abandoned a lot, and i've been ostracized a lot. i've grown into who i am today both in spite of and because of all i've been through, and for that i wouldn't ever change it, but it was still hard.

so today, as i turn 29, seeing asks and gifts pour in to tell me happy birthday, and that i'm appreciated... just, thank you.

if there's one thing you can give me today, it's this: reblog someone's art or writing or meta with some enthusiastic tags. send someone a friendly ask. reply to someone's post to comment on something they've said. write comments on ao3 for the fics that move you, no matter how much or how little you can think of to say.

this is going to sound cheesy as hell, but i genuinely mean it: reach out, and spread joy, whenever and wherever you can. you never know who's in pain, who's lonely or who feels worthless. and if it's you who feels that way, do what you can anyway; a community that isn't afraid to reach out will reach back to you, too. and you're not alone. i care, i promise--and more people than you realize do too.

it's so easy to underestimate how much a kind word can do. they add up, though. so keep going.

[frostbite-the-bat]

no but genuinely. i love shadow filbo dearly. he means a lot to me.

he marks a time for me where i began embracing what i like just... for the sake of it!

he embodies the things that inspired me to draw online in the first place. hell, sparklecat characters with bangs have made me stop cutting my hair. i haven't cut my hair properly since. just because i wanted the same bangs, not knowing how hair works. now i have what is best described as messy fluttershy hair. to many people just how long my hair is, is what defines me when they see me and my hair is in a way special to me.

and again - he was what inspired me to draw. in class i'd be drawing my own sparklecats at the age of like 8, with bangs and wings and little companions that sit on clouds that rain hearts. (and bolts and skulls when ANGRY!)

i put rainbows on everything. i thought nyan cat was the embodiment of everything good in the world. i listened to nightcore versions of songs only. i say, as i am listening to nightcore, right now.

because of all these old classic animation memes and sparklefurs and silly scene and emo song flash animations i'd find... i'd pick up ms paint and draw. i imagined just how i'd animate, finding even the simplest methods absolutely mesmerising. there is something to be said about me being this young with internet access - because it very much so had it's negative effects. not me watching fetish videos at the age of 8 just because it had pokemon in it. yea that did not have any lasting effects.

but despite all this shit - it raised me! and even just a few years later... like.. 2015 when i began posting online on deviantart for the first time, not being just a lurker... learning how The Computer works better - not only drawing on paper anymore and gaining more and more interest towards digital art... i was already nostalgic towards these earlier days. but still living IN it, y'know?

just having fun, doing my own thing! isn't that what art is all about?

well. then the cringe culture nation attacked. severe bullying at school. and in general, just shame - which i am still fighting in certain aspects. but it's a bit more complicated than just "shame". (more so fear of Things.)

i'd look back at things with either genuine "cringe" or a distaste. how DARE these people have fun? because deep down, i was simply jealous.

if i was going to reference anything old like this, like classic animation memes, it was framed as "JOKE" "NOT SERIOUS" because i feared i would be harassed, made fun of, or people would thing THAT is the best of my artistic abilities. but... it's not like that.

and now, more and more people are embracing this. and it makes me so happy. and shadow filbo helped me fight off these fears a lot and just let me love what i love and be myself.

maybe it's not an ""aesthetic"" that completely defines me, maybe it IS a tik tok trend to do nowadays - but i don't care. without any of this i wouldn't be here. those were my first inspirations. silly colorful cats animated to crunchy mp3s of songs using movie maker and 3 (three!) frames drawn in ms paint. it had so much charm. it had so much genuinity. and i could feel it even back then.

without it i might've not been here as i am now. there are so many things that go into this, of course. but i simply would not be the exact way i am. and i dunno. that's something to think about.

thank you so much, shadow filbo. one "mistake" with you i've had was thinking i should be a good creator of something and respond to every fan and fanart, which only stressed me out. i have... opinions! about being recognized in various places and, as some dub, a "NICHE INTERNET MICROCELEBRITY" (nothing against you fox </3).... yeah! not a fan.

another mistake was dubbing him as a "joke" always. and... he is! he is humorous! i am a jokey person! i like crunchy shitposts! i like being the reason people laugh! i will go to certain levels to even ridicule myself just for the bit, and i don't mind it. i'm hyper(active) and i am just a jokey person, that's that. but... him being called a joke was honestly just a shield from people taking him too seriously.

if people were to mock me for being nostalgic for nightcore, and rainbows, and edgy amvs, sparkledogs, scene culture and clothes, rave songs... all this!

but... no! people loved it! people loved it so much, it moved THEM to create art!

me, referencing things that made ME inspired to draw all those years ago - then inspired OTHERS to draw other things. to embrace themselves. to have fun. to connect.

it means so much to me. it's a bit odd to comprehend, too.

but it means the world to me. sorry if i am ever annoying about shadow filbo, and is often the first thing i bring up when bugsnax is brought up - but he is the highlight of my experience with bugsnax.

thank you so much, shadow filbo. and me and my wretched little claws, of course. for making them. and those that inspired me. those old friends i lost along the way, too. and those, that inspired those that inspired me. and so forth.

thank you.

[valeffelees]

An Ask Game for Writers to Procrastinate Working on Your WIP(s)

thank you kindly for tagging me @shrekgogurt @youarenevertooold, and @monbons i've been seeing this game make its rounds on my dash and was really hoping someone would pull me in!

🦈 Tell us the name of one of your WIP(s)

my main three wips at the moment are without sun, ballad of the final sparrow, which is more commonly known as bitverse, and fragile things (and how to break them), but i've also been fucking around a bit the last two or three weeks with a new (terrible, evil, very self-indulgent) wip called god-forbid.

🍄 Describe one of your WIPs in the format of “___ + ___ =___”  

i think i might be dumb bc i don't understand this question at all.

🌍 What tags or warnings will your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it?

bitverse: heavy angst, psychological horror elements, alcohol abuse, allusions to suicide, unhealthy coping mechanisms, dead dove: do not eat.

🧭 An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)?

ballad of the final sparrow -> baz is typing fragile things (and how to break them) -> there's a werewolf in london god-forbid -> the gap between a tragedy and comedy

⚠️ Which WIP you’re most likely to finish or update next?

i have no idea. i mean, you'd think the answer would be without sun since it's the only fic i actually have posted at the moment, but unfortunately i am an untrustworthy villain.

💾 What is the document of your WIP called? (Not the story title, but what you’ve saved it as.)

same as the fic title. if i start a new wip and don't know what to call it, i'll pick something at random and add (working title) at the end.

🖍 Post any sentence from your WIP

from without sun:

“You don’t like peppermint,” he says. But maybe she does. Maybe that’s one more thing he can add to his growing list of things he got wrong about Agatha Wellbelove. No. 1 — Dislikes peppermint; actually, she is quite fond of it. No. 2 — Likes Simon Snow; him, not so much.

♻️ A scrapped idea for your current WIP

one of the biggest changes i made to the plot of without sun really early on was penelope's role in the story. i had a clear idea of the story i wanted to tell as soon as i saw the prompt for the fic. without sun was always supposed to be about more than simon and baz. the story is about grief and love, and the space we take up in the lives of the people around us. but n e way, in my orig draft, penny was actually supposed to be able to communicate with simon a bit, and there was gonna be a whole sect of scenes in the middle of the fic where they sat around together trying to break simon's curse what we know and what we don't know style via passing notes. i ended up tossing this idea really quickly tho, and i'm glad i did bc one of my favourite moments i've ever written in any fic happens in chapter two of without sun and it belongs to simon and penny.

🤔 What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

so many. or, well—what counts as "haven't even started"? i hate to let ideas sit around in my head bc it feels like leaving raspberries in the fridge for too long, like that shit is gonna get mould on it, so usually the first thing i do is rough out a few scenes and/or script out a very rough outline of the plot (like this / this / this style) so that i have something to come back to later. i have dozens of zero drafts just lying tf around. but otherwise, yeah, so many. one big idea i have is called heart on fire and it's based on fanart, but i haven't started it yet bc obvs i wanna get permission from the artist first but i've been holding off reaching out to them about it until i've knocked a few of my less intimidating longfics off my wip list bc heart on fire is gonna fucking hefty so i don't wanna give'r until i'm sure i can manage it.

🤡 How many WIPs are you actively working on?

LMFAO

🛠 Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

i'm having a real bitch of a time with agatha's main scene in chapter two of without sun, i've been fighting with it on and off for months, but i can't get it to do what i want it to do.

❤️ Not a question, just a second kudos to send.

cheers!

sorry for any doubles but, tagging: @drowninginships @cosmicalart @that-disabled-princess @fatalfangirl @cutestkilla @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @artsyunderstudy @thewholelemon @roomwithanopenfire @hushed-chorus @blackberrysummerblog @imagineacoolusername @nightimedreamersworld @prettygoododds @confused-bi-queer @mooncello and an open tag for anybody else who wants to procrastinate their wips!

[gin-draws]

Hey! Sorry I didn't see these forever, but it's totally something I've been meaning to address and I just haven't had words for a while.

Firstly: fuck terfs.

The rest is long so it’s under the cut:

Having JKR alive and running around spewing hate has definitely not helped my love for the series. She uses money that we gave her to fuel her hateful bullshit, and to actively attack not just the trans community, but whatever issue she disagrees with in the UK. It hurts as someone that grew up putting myself into this world to have the creator openly using her power and influence to go after other marginalized people.

Even before JKR started openly being horrible I had worked hard to overlook my discomfort with stuff in the series (there's a lot of problematic stuff that 10 year old me could overlook but 32 year old me can't lol). A big part of me getting past that was just making her world my own through my art. I loved the community I found in the fandom on tumblr. I loved the people I could interact with over a shared interest and something that brought us all joy. Especially other creators that made the world their own.

Over time though, engagement kind of fell off on tumblr. (Where the reblogs at.. am I right?) And slowly I went from being able to ignore negative comments here and there because of the good interactions, to being worn out by the growing overwhelming negativity. People act like they can just demand things from creators and we somehow owe it to fandom to do what they specifically want.

Want that character to be white? Draw them yourself.

(Making characters bipoc brings out a shocking amount of anger from people for no reason but racism...)

I had tried to make the story I'd grown up loving into something that made me happy. I made the cast diverse because I grew up surrounded by all sorts of cultures and religions and it made my world a lot bigger. I sometimes played around with my own gender identity through my art, and it brought me a lot of joy. (Sirius was a fun playground for getting through a LOT of my own shit). But it brought out a lot of vitriol, and over time I just got tired of it.

I mostly stopped posting art because now it's something I do for me. My own characters and stories where nobody could send anon messages telling me "x should actually be white because---" I put a lot of time and love into my work and if it doesn't make me happy, I lose interest. Doesn’t mean I stopped drawing, it’s just not fanart as much anymore.

(I draw a LOT lol)

I miss the story I grew up loving a lot. But I can't actively put money in JKR's pockets, which distanced me from the series. A lot of my interaction with the community became a little too negative to deal with. And so over time I drifted away. It makes me sad to have strayed from that world, but it just became a little too toxic for me.

It still brings me a lot of joy seeing the positive comments, and people appreciating my old art means a lot. But I kind of moved on for myself, and now I don't have to worry about hateful comments about canon and race when I post my dnd characters lol.

I’ll probably be moving hp art I’m not happy with anymore over to my old hp side blog instead of deleting it, but as an artist and creative I’ve moved on to my own characters and stories. (If I open up commissions and people liked my interpretations of the characters, I would love nothing more than to draw desi Harry, or black Hermione, or Sirius not giving a fuck about gender. Lmao)

[thursdayinspace]

Hiya!! Happy Monday! Sending you brave vibes for today. 😊

💥 Interested to hear this for sure.

🎁 had to try, lol. I'm greedy I always want more.

🎨 cause, well maybe I'll make it happen lol

Hi! And thank you! Happy Monday and good vibes to you too!! <3

for this ask game

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

i have been thinking about this since yesterday. there are little things, moments where I wish they'd reacted differently, but overall i like the ways they clash and i like the slow burn and all that. ONE THING i would DEFINITELY want to change is william. they didn't have to give him up. i think they could have still told the same story if they'd been allowed to keep him. it was one trauma dumped on them that imo didn't drive the story at all. in fact, being allowed to keep him would have RAISED THE STAKES. it would have made things more difficult for them after s9. and they could just have exchanged that arc from the revival that never made a lot of sense anyway for sth else. they could have easily done the revival with another story instead of that weird as shit william arc.

what makes iwtb and the revival interesting, the reason i love it, is their relationship development. so, imagine their way into the revival if they had a kid they were raising together? i mean holy shit, making the decision to break up anyway? there'd be the question of who gets to keep william, there'd be the fact that they'd both want to stay in his life and would never take that away from each other, and it would make everything so much more messed up and painful. so. seriously raised stakes. any decision they made would have had even more serious consequences. in s9 it was just unnecessary. in the later seasons, it would have added to the story if they'd still had him. the breakup would still have happened. the loss of their child wasn't their only emotional baggage. and i really really would have liked if they'd been spared that particular trauma. after everything, after how long she'd wanted it, after all the heartbreak and the so well-deserved joy, that was the *cruelest* thing the show ever did to them, and it was for no reason that i can see.

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

haha! sure! since i've been talking about angst and high stakes, have a piece of my post-iwtb angst (with a happy ending):

“I was thinking the beach.”

He knows she loves the ocean. “I’ll see how soon I can get a few days off.” She wraps her arms around his middle and squeezes him tight, breathes him in, fills all her senses with him and only him. She would choose this man every time. She will bleed herself dry for him.

She knows that’s not a healthy way to live. She knows seeing her bleed out is destroying him too, the way that seeing his soul crumble to dust is destroying her. They can’t save each other. Love won’t fix this. It’s become part of the problem. The biggest part of it.

“I think some time away will be good for us,” he says. She can hear it in his voice that he knows he’s trying to stitch closed a gaping abyss with needle and thread.

“I think so too.”

This place is not the source of their pain. Their problems will travel with them. They can’t outrun them. But if he’s taking her hand and asking her to try it anyway, she will go with him, she will follow him, the way she’s always done.

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

oh man, anything!!! i'd be excited about literally anything. i honestly can't say what i'd like most because just the thought of anyone being inspired to make something based on my silly little words makes me cry, haha. like the art for yesterday's future did. i'm still looking at that all the time. <3