daniellealcaraz

[blueishjellyfish]

How BigB would work in different alliances?

There was a poll someone made a week ago, which inspired this post. The poll was about who you would think would be the funniest team up for BigB. I don't remember what I answered, but these are my thoughts on how well he would've fit in in each team. I especially talk about his dynamics with individual people here.

Also sorry for any mistakes, I've written this as it came into my head so some points might not be clear, so sorry. Also, comment down your opinions about these dynamics I would love to hear them :).

!SPOILERS FOR WILD LIFE AHEAD!

The Bamboozlers

Jimmy- he has an amazing dynamic with Jimmy already, I mean that scene in 3rd life where Scott and I think Martyn? was 3rd wheeling their little inside jokes, their dynamic is underrated for real. They seem to be great friends irl and BigB seems very comfortable around him, and Jimmy also contributed heavily to the whole hole thing happening in Secret Life ("BigB that hole changed you!")

Lizzie- he's teamed with Lizzie before and honestly I loved their dynamic too- that scene with them at the fairy fort with Cleo, *chef's kiss*, and then Lizzie killing him with fireworks, claiming he was the start of her downfall, which in some ways he truly was, amazing. They're so silly together.

Scar- Scar who he hasn't teamed with but I would really like to see more of their dynamic. BigB oftentimes plays well into Scar's scams especially at beginning of the series, in 3rd life he was probs the only one to acquire and use the no kill pass, also Grian and Scar said multiple times that they don't want to kill him. In Last Life I think Scar managed to scam him out of a few diamonds by claiming to be the bogeyman which I don't think BigB truly thought but I think he likes playing into these little bits. Also he always has a 100/100 on Scar's reputation board, so he's doing something right lol. Would love to explore more of their dynamic as well.

Redwood mound

Ren- don't feel like I need to put anything down for this one, I mean he's teamed with Ren almost every single life series (that Ren's been in). Box boys all the way. I feel like BigB is used to the dramatics, and !SPOILERS! in the recent episode they even agreed to be the Kings of the Corners, so honestly they might've allied up again, but we'll see how it goes. However, considering the dramas of Double Life (when they last teamed up*) I mean the Secret Soulmates, and the whole fight at Scott's farm, although it got offset really by the fact they were both red ig. Also, BigB has made a few remarks during the therapy session on how he felt that Ren was looking/hanging out with too much like Martyn, so that's something. Overall, though they would make a great team imo. Hopefully this allyship they have in ep2 lasts.

*some might say that on a technicality they also teamed on SL, since Ren possessed Tango's body for an episode, and BigB was teamed with Tango at the time.

Martyn- Blue Sword Boy, and if I'm not mistaken the first recruit to the dogwarts army. They have some good bits together, especially with Martyn scaring him in SL (which was very funny), or going through BigB's backrooms with Jimmy trying to find him. So far though I don't think they talked a lot in Wild Life, but they were both in Evo together so extra points. Plus I love the lore Martyn sort of gave him/talked about.

The Spanners

Grian- ain't it obvious? Secret Soulmates anyone? Truly love their dynamic, similar to Jimmy they seem like good friends irl. Also he was the og gaslighting victim of BigB. That 'hole' (haha get it, like whole but hole? ok I'll leave) interaction changed the trajectory of human kind, or well the life series ig. I saw many ppl wanted a day 1 alliance for them which unfortunately didn't come to fruition (there's always another time), but they have a good dynamic for a great team, can't wait to see more of their interactions :D

Skizz- he's teamed with Skizz in the last season. I love how Skizz calls/called him BigPoppa (did I spell that right?) (edit: it's spelt BigBopper, thank you crystaleevee4 for the correction!). He felt a bit like a third wheel, but Skizz and Tango did a good job to include him in their shenanigans. Also we see time and time again on how BigB likes to stay by himself (I might talk more about that in another post ;p), so I think this dynamic suited them well. I think they worked very well together, and Skizz actually defending BigB from getting killed by Jimmy when BigB had to betray him was wholesome. Speaking of which, BigB having to betray Skizz cause of the task was brutal, imo f it wasn't his task he wouldn't have done it and he seemed very apprehensive about doing it, which probs stems from betraying Cleo and not being able to live it down (until now of course). So the fact that Skizz didn't turn on him and mark him as a traitor was a nice moment in my eyes.

Mumbo- I'm basing these off the top of my head and I don't think him and Mumbo interacted a lot before. !SPOILER! I'm pretty sure BigB jump scared him with his creaking in ep2 which was fun. I think it would be an interesting dynamic, they both are very silly, however with the paranoia infiltrating Mumbo this season I think he would trust BigB less than Grian, with BigBs more cryptic nature and such, but I do think it would be very fun to witness.

Tuff Guys

Etho- Anybody else still stuck in that moment in 3rd life where Etho and BigB got left alone and were riding in boats talking? No just me? OK, well what can I say, I think it's my most favourite underrated dynamic. They're both quite antisocial but in different ways. Etho likes to stay with his comfort ppl, ppl he knows well. Wheras, BigB tends to start basing alone, and then gest adopted by other ppl. That moment when BigB jump sacred Etho was everything to me, not to metnion Etho's reaction was quite funny. I think their humour goes well together, and what can I say, they would make the best cryptic duo lol.

BDubs- !Spoilers! "Did you just call me Bdubs?"- BigB ep2. Out of everyone, I personally feel like they are in opposite worlds to each other. Aside from Bdubs killing him in 3rd Life and BigB killing Bdubs with Ren in Double Life, I'm not sure I remember any particular moments between them, although it might just be my memory. I'm unsure if they would do great in a team but I don't think BDubs would particularly trust BigBs cryptic nature (I use the word cryptic a lot don't I?) I think BigB might push the line on Bdub's trust issues too much.

Tango- teamed before in SL, and 3rd life. I think they are nice and familiar with each other and would work well as a team. The more I think about it even as a duo they might be more interesting. I think B would calm Tango down and they would get into silly little shenanigans together, and near the end of a series Tango would push BigB to be more explosive and dangerous (BigB would probs go along with the plan, but when it goes AWOL, he'll probs try to abort it.)

The Family

Gem- Gem has only been in SL before, so it's hard to pinpoint what they're dynamic would be. Gem is very nice and would protect BigB well, and BigB would respond with his kind nature back and they would be quite a nice team. At least at the start, when the bloodshed starts I don't think BigB would be able to control Gem's bloodlust.

Joel- I don't think they've interacted a lot in the life series or at least there haven't been many significant moments that I could think of at least. They would get along great, and I can imagine Joel leading BigB into battle, but I don't think BigB can handle Joel's explosiveness for long-term.

Finally the GGGGs

Cleo- !Spoilers! OMG the lore! the way Cleo has finally forgiven him after what like 4 seasons? truly love it. During Last Life when they were still allies they seemed like a good duo. They cared about each other and Cleo tended to trust him more over the other fairy fort members imo. She was kind and loyal like she usually is with her day 1 allies, which I think is what made the betrayal worse. Throughout the 4 seasons BigB really seemed sorry about what he's done, and usually backed away at the mention of it and now that all is forgiven I'm sure he won't make the same mistake again (unless he wants another 4 seasons of anger from Cleo). I think in this new alliance he will try to atone for everything and I think even if it came down to him and Cleo at the end he wouldn't even consider killing them and would sacrifice himself. Cleo also seems to be the first one to realise that BigB is alone, and might need some friends. I mean if they decided to still stay upset, B would probs still be alone as no other team has really reached out an invitation to him (aside from the thing with Ren).

Pearl- NOSY NEIGHBOURS! Do you guys even have a clue on how much I loved nosy neighbours? Obviously not since this is like my 5th post on this website, but they truly are everything to me. The always watching bit which made everyone go nuts on the Watcher implications. The way that Pearl was alone all last season, rejected by her soulmate and finally found and established a healthy friendship with someone. The way Pearl wanted BigB to win, but he died before her, so tragic and I love it. And Pearl was everything BigB needed as well, someone to be his day 1 alliance. I could talk for hours about them but I won't. But I love their dynamic, hopefully we'll see more of it :3 (Also there was literally a mention of nosy neighbours in ep2, and I'm so happy!) (What if I said I made this whole post just to talk about it? lol)

Scott- BigB hasn't teamed with Scott before, but they seem to be on good terms. Especially from what I've seen in the current episode, Scott is good at including BigB into the conversation. And from what I've noticed Scott's also good at hearing people even if they're quiet, in a conversation in a group of people, which I think goes well with how BigB often is. Besides the way they were called brothers by Cleo I think in ep2 cause of the creaking they have incorporated into their skins was great. Some ppl were saying Scott is like BigB's creaking heart, and let me tell you guys I'm on board. Because of this I think they would be a great duo and I would love to explore their dynamic more.

Impulse- Silly silly bois. If they ever got separated from the other Gs they would probs go on a mission and fall into a water hole they wouldn't be able to get out of. That's all I can imagine when I think about them. Them ending up going on a somewhat serious mission and in the midst of it ending up in a silly situation that would def kill the previously serious mood of a spy mission.

Overall, I think from ep1 I knew he would likely team with the 4Gs. I don't say this in a negative light whatsoever, but considering the fact that BigB wasn't willing to move his base this time (like he has done quite a few times before, RIP BigBs abandoned started bases lol) and the proximity he had to the group it was pretty obvious but still fun. Can't wait to see what shenanigans (I've used this word too much too right?) they get into and how the season goes. Dynamics and teams can still change, I mean there might be another them vs us like there was in 3rd life with Dogwarts and everyone else basically. Anyways I can't wait to see what this season brings! :D

Sorry for the long read, but honestly I quite like doing these analyses, so there might be more coming soon. p

Lastly, I would like to state, these assumptions about dynamics are based on my personal opinion. This opinion is derived from the content that the creators put out and will likely not reflect their true dynamics as friends. I might be wrong, or have overlooked some key points. Also my memory of events happening in the life series are quite foggy, I might be wrong on some points. I did this for fun and again this is entirely based on my own assumptions, which are subject to change. :3

[pantherxrogers]

happy birthday sannie - choi san x fem!reader one shot (smut 18+) 🎂

📱pairing: choi san x fem!reader (established relationship)

📱warnings: smut (18+), porn with no plot, explicit language, mutual masturbation, slight degradation, slight angst, use of petnames, phone sex, dirty talk, san has a filthy mouth lmao

📱summary: reader calls to wish san a happy birthday. luckily, they both get a happy ending! 😀

📱a/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LOML 🥳 also, i'm just now realizing how much i write about phone sex lmao. i can't help it! it's fun! 🤠

my masterlist

This is a work of fiction and is not meant to represent real events or the actual personalities of any K-pop idols mentioned. All characters and situations are purely imaginary. This story is created for entertainment purposes only, and no harm or disrespect is intended toward the idols or their fans. Enjoy!

"happy birthday, sannie!"

you squeal into the phone, clutching the comforter to your chest. despite the time difference, you'd never miss the opportunity to wish your boyfriend a happy birthday.

"thank you, my love," he hums, grateful to hear your voice. he knows it's super early in the morning for you, so the gesture makes him happy. even though he feels a little guilty, it's pointless to tell you to get some sleep. after all, he missed you too.

"really wish i could be there with you." san can hear your pout through the phone. it reminds him of the hollow ache in his chest, only filled by your presence. nonetheless, he's happy to have this moment with you now.

"i know, honey. wish you could be here, too," he sighs, relaxing into the stiff hotel couch. "at least you'll be here tomorrow, though."

"that's not soon enough!" you whine, suddenly annoyed by the job that you so desperately wanted all those years ago. you have your dream career. but, days like this make you wish you could pack yourself up in san's suitcase and be with him always.

his answering chuckle is low and deep, causing you to rub your thighs together beneath the comforter. it's been almost a week since you've seen him. he had a fan meeting overseas, and the distance is wearing on both of you.

as your boyfriend rambles about his day, you find yourself getting distracted by flashbacks of the day he left with his members. his strong body hovered over yours, giving you everything he had. that familiar ache between your legs is back, much stronger this time.

"honey, did you hear me?" his inquisitive tone cuts you out of your daydream. your heart beats faster, somehow feeling like san can access the dirty thoughts running through your mind.

"sorry, sannie. i got a little distracted. what did you say?" you mentally scold yourself, embarrassed by your lack of self control.

"i was asking about how your day was?" his innocent question makes shame creep into your heart. he's the caring boyfriend, while you're the horny girlfriend who can't stay focused long enough to answer questions.

"oh, it was pretty good. just missing you a little more today."

"me too, i've been jerking off like crazy."

"san!" his casual tone catches you off guard. but, you'd be lying if you said it didn't turn you on.

"don't act coy now, baby. i could hear you breathing heavy when i was trying to talk to you about your day." his tone is slightly condescending and very sexy. if he were here, you can bet he'd be smirking at you and teasing the sensitive skin of your inner thigh.

your silence confirms his suspicions, inciting a knowing laugh from him. "you're just so easy to read, sweetie."

"don't tease me," you whine, basking in the slight humiliation you feel. san always know how to push your limits, turning you on like never before.

"tell me what you're wearing." his low pitch is rich and smooth, causing excitement to swirl around in your belly. you mindlessly bring your hand up to your chest, teasing yourself through the thin t shirt.

"i'm wearing your tour merch." a loud groan comes through the phone, followed by the sound of san shuffling around. your words never fail to make him hard.

his mind is overtaken by the thought of you in nothing but his t shirt. if he could have it his way, he'd be with you right now, buried between your thighs. instead, he settles for his hand, teasing himself through the fabric of his pants.

"bet you look so sexy, baby. all laid out on the bed waiting for me." the desperation in his voice strikes through to your core. "bet you do, too," you whine back, picturing his strong body once again.

"need you to touch yourself for me," he instructs, leaving no room for argument. not that you'd even dream of that.

you follow his command, gliding your fingertips down to the top of your panties. blood rushes in your ears, heart beating a mile a minute. taking the plunge, you dip your hand into the fabric, drawing light circles against your clit.

on the other end, san eases his zipper down. his bulge is prominent, and he can feel it throb with everyone sound you make. he teases himself, running a hand along his shaft. his boxers are the only barrier left now and they will be gone soon.

the faint gasp you let out is almost too much for san. unable to tease himself any longer, he pulls his hard cock out of his underwear. the coldness of the room makes him hiss, suddenly feeling more sensitive. he's lewd in the way he spits into his hand, making sure you can hear him.

"t-tell me what you're doing, baby," you pant, now drawing steady circles on your clit. the pressure feels amazing but you need more.

"i'm thinking about that tight pussy. you always squeeze my cock just right." his tone makes you clench around nothing, eager to have him back with you. you slow down, using your fingers to tease the outline of your pussy. "i'm thinking about your cock." your admission makes him pump himself faster, unable to hold back.

the only thing on his mind is you. you. you.

how you look when he stretches you out with his thick fingers, wetness leaking into the palm of his hand. how you look when he's between your thighs, using his tongue to draw figure 8s on your clit. how you look when he's inside you, one hand splayed across your lower back, pounding into you from behind.

that's the image that excites him the most. more precum leaks from his tip, messily mixing with his saliva. he imagines the way he'd paint your body with it.

"need tomorrow to come soon, so i can stretch that pussy out again," he grunts, prompting you to ease your fingers into your opening. "you gonna let me wreck that pussy when you get here?"

another gasp slips through your lips, the slight stretch adding to your pleasure. "w-want you to fuck me now," you whine out, making a scissoring motion with your fingers.

"yeah, bet you'd like that, huh? what a slut. can't even call your boyfriend to wish him a happy birthday without sticking your fingers in your cunt."

"mhmm, 'm your slut, sannie!"

"s-shit. you're so fucking sexy," he huffs, eyes rolling back in pleasure. the only thing to be heard in the hotel room is the vulgar, slick sound of his hand against his cock. he's a mess now, every nerve in his body is awake. every time he gets close to the tip, he feels a zap up pleasure shoot up his spine.

"wanna hear a secret?" the only answer you can offer him is a whimper.

"remember that thong you wore the last time i fucked you?" your voice is so faint, he almost misses your soft yes.

"i brought it here with me. i've been jerking off to it almost every night, imagining your pussy wrapped around my cock."

"ooo, i'm gonna cum, sannie!" it's the last thing you get out before a string of moans. you're seeing white, eyes shut tightly in pleasure. you imagine san fucking your through your orgasm, his hips bumping against your ass.

the sound of your orgasm has san seeing stars. he imagines himself buried inside of you. your pussy is always so slick, wet, and hot. he swears he can almost feel it. with a couple sloppy pumps, he's following right behind you. thick ropes of cum shoot out of his cock, painting across his abs.

both of you pant into the phone, slowly coming down from your high. after catching his breath, san is the first to speak.

"you did such a good job, baby. love hearing you pleasure yourself." his praise makes your cheeks burn, basking in his sweetness.

"thank you, sannie. i love hearing you, too." he snickers at your bashfulness, always surprised by how quickly you get shy on him. he finds it adorable, making him love you even more.

the rest of your conversation carries on, both of you complimenting the other throughout. you can pay attention now, finally feeling satisfied after a long day without your man. san's warm voice makes you feel relaxed, dragging you into a state of tranquility.

"baby? you there?"

silence answers him. he can't help but laugh and think about his sleepy girl. with a dopey smile on his face, he decides to let you get your sleep. he's grateful he was able to satisfy you.

"goodnight, angel. i'll see you soon."

[yuyu1024]

Babe

Pairings: S.coups × y/n

Genre/tags: protective/possessive bf

Warning: 🔞🔞🔞 fluff but smut, unprotected sex, pet names, cursing, semi public, handjob

~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 3k

Disclaimers:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

A/N: looong time no post. ✨️I was away... got sick and mentally not doing okay... and I dont think im 100% okay yet...Its been hard but still trying my best :)

i might be coming back to writing here and there... but not consistent. Hopefully you understand...

meaning, i will be a 🐌 in updating nor posting and won't be online mostly. 🖤

(i cant promise i can jump back to the Yoongi/Suga series yet also sorry 😭 hopefully one day but not soon.)

Me writing... is depending if im okay.

Also, Thank you for the kind messages in DMs. I really do appreciate them...even tho i don't reply 🖤 pls know its very helpful.

Thank you.

P.S its been a long time since i wrote anything so.... rusty.🥲 this is my just trying to get back to it.

-----------------------------------------------------

Seungcheol, your boyfriend, texted you to meet him at school. Which surprised you the second you read it because it has been weeks since he went to school.

He has been doing special online classes these past weeks as he can't walk. Yet. He slipped while playing soccer with the boys two months ago causing an injury on his left leg. It was very painful to watch him yell in pain during that game. It was supposed to be just a fun game with his friends and you and their other friends watching but yeah, accidents happen.

"What are you doing here?" You gasp the second you enter the University clinic and saw your boyfriend sitting and chatting with the school doctor.

"Babe." He smiles and opens his arm, asking for a welcome hug

"Babe!" You squeal and immediately run and hugged him tightly.

"I missed you." He mumbles lightly lifting you off the floor even he's sitting on the clinic's bed.

He never lost his strength.

"Ditto." You say and kissed him on his cheek before letting go. "Wait... why are you here?" You ask again. "He can go back to school now?" You turn to ask the doctor behind you

"He can. But I still suggest no." He folds the folder his holding and sits down on his desk. "He can walk now with crutches easily yes... but... going up and down... walking building to building to classes...." doctor shakes his head

"I'm just here to visit, babe." Cheolie says caressing your back. "To report my health to him... to let know the team..."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry..." he press his lips together and giving you an apologetic look.

"I'll leave you two to talk... I have to go on a meeting now in the faculty. Just let the nurse know when you leave okay? So she can assist you with the wheel chair."

"Okay, doc. Thank you."

And as soon as the doctor leaves and shut the door close behind him, Seungcheol immediately grabs you by the waist, pull you close to his body and leans in to fully kiss you.

It feels rushed at the beginning but as soon as you find the perfect spot to lean your body weight to his, it felt smooth and just sensational. You even opened your mouth completely to let his tongue explore you.

You two haven't kissed for awhile. The rent is due.

"I missed you so much." He whisper as he pulls away to take a breather.

"This is the longest we've been away from each other..." you say as you straighten your stand

"Yeah... I got busy healing..."

"And I got busy at school... and at home..." you answer as you sit down beside him. "How are you feeling at the moment?"

"Good....well.. better now that I've kissed you." He smirks and plants a tiny kiss on your temple

"Babe..." you lean on his shoulder

"You know you always make me feel good..." he chuckles. "Also... Doc said my leg is healing pretty good..."

"That's good to hear..." you stand up once again. "So... can I--"

And before you could ask him another question about visiting him soon at home Seungcheol kisses you on your cheek and then on the back of your hand.

"Thank you for always calling me... every night... making sure to check on me... give me updates at school and being an understanding girlfriend. Even though you are tired yourself."

"I didn't do that much." You say holding his hand. "If only I could visit you personally I would..."

But you couldn't. It's not like he leaves far away from you. It's just that you wanted him to just rest. You know how he is when he sees you. He gets excited and acts everything is fine even though he is in pain.

He would probably force himself to get up when you visit him. It's kind og his thing to show off he is strong. Especially to you. He is your alpha lover.

"No...babe. just you calling has saved me from a lot of bad moods and not doing my therapies because... I'm not in the mood." He kisses your hand again.

"Well I'm glad... I could help..." you say smiling.

"And also..." he then bites his lower lip whilst smiling. You already know what he's about to say with those cheeky smirks.

"Hush..." you cover his mouth with your hand, scared that he might say it outloud and the nurse from behind the door might hear. "That's for us only..." you whisper.

He is referring to the video call sessions you do every now and then. To help him when he is... sad and horny.

"You promised... no one should know..."

"Of course..." he murmurs, his mouth is still covered by your hand. "The images are for my eyes to see and for my dick to feel only." He adds and then playfully licks your palm, making you jump a little.

"Hey!" You slap him on his shoulder

He is grinning so much. He is enjoying your reactions. "You're so adorable being shy..." he puts his arm around your waist, securing you between his legs. "My shy little fairy..." he mumbles just before he kisses you again.

You don't deny him of any sort of making out. Even at the clinic. Why woulf you? You missed him so bad too.

So bad that even his hands is skimming your body and even lifting your short A-Line skirt, exposing your bum, just to squeeze it is fine. Perfectly fine.

"Wait." He pauses and looks you in the eyes. "You are wearing a skirt this short... with no protective shorts under?"

"Hmm?" You look at him, confused for a second. "Oh."

He is yout alpha, yes. And one trait of him that is very dominant is him being protective of you. He does not like anyone hurting you, being mean to you and most especially drooling over you. You are his and only his.

"What you mean oh?" He raises a brow. "Well? Why aren't you wearing one?"

You don't have a good excuse. You just forgot. Well... you have been forgetting since he have been away.

"Y/N..."

"You're now calling me by name...." you move back away a little. "I'm sorry... I have no excuse..."

"What if some maniac sees you? When you go up stairs? Or the elevator in the media building? You know its glass right? They can see... what if wind blows and..." he sighs, frustrated. "You know how most guys are."

"I know... I'm really sorry." You pout. "I didn't purposely forget it..."

You see the change in his mood. He is very possessive of you so you know that just the idea of any guy looking at you because they find you cute or have interest of being close to you and whatever, he's already on guard.

He sighs again and also he's already grabbing his crutches.

"Leaving already?" You say in the softes tone.

"Yeah..." he stands up and calls on the nurse for assistance.

"Okay..." you lower your gaze.

You are not sure how to tame your boyfriend since this time you know you are at fault for forgetting and breaking a promise you told him after he was told to stay at home.

You stand up and sling your bag over your shoulder. "Just... call me when you get home."

"I will not call you." He says as he sits down on the wheel chair. "You're coming home with me."

"Wait. What?" You ask

The nurse enters the room and greets the two of you.

"Ready to go home?" The nurse asks

"Yes." Seungcheol smiles at her. "I have a scheduled therapy this afternoon..."

"Oh... I see... goodluck then." She says as she helps to push your boyfriend

"Y/N..." he calls your name out again.

This is the second time he called you by name. He is clearly not okay with the skirt situation. This never happened before.

***

You both arrived at his parent's house. They welcomed you and hugged you even. They thanked you for being a support system for their son even though physically you can't come because, well, they know how their son acts around you.

It's not a secret that their son is so in love with you that he's very clingy and trying to act cool and such.

"I already made food for the two of you so just reheat it if you decide to eat later."

"Oh. Thank you Mrs. Choi." You say

"It's nothing dear... also... thank you for being his care taker for tonight... we will enjoy our night on out staycation at the city." His mother says

You are stunned to hear what Mrs. Choi just said. You can't react beside just smiling and nodding. "Ah... ahm... don't worry about us... I'm going to take good care of him."

"Thank you, again." Mr. Choi says.

"We'll get going now... see you tomorrow afternoon, dear." She says to her son who is sitting in the sofa drinking his cola.

"Have fun, Mom and Dad!" He waves at them

And as soon the door shuts and you hear the car engine from outside.

"What the fuck was that?" You stomp you way towards him. "Care taker... tonight?? Babe?"

Nonchalantly he answers. "You will be staying for the night here with me... until tomorrow..."

"Why?"

"Why not?" He looks at you with a coldest stare. "Do you have any other plans? Are you meeting with anyone?"

"No..."

"And then... stay...."

"But... my parents..."

"I already told them... they are fine with it."

"When?"

"I called them earlier... before I texted you to come to the clinic."

You are in complete shock. "Cheolie..." you whine

"Now, you're calling me by name?" He raises a brow. "Why are you acting like that? It's like you don't want to stay with me."

"That's not it."

"Then what?"

You sigh. You are lost for words.

Yes you should be happy you are spending time with your boyfriend but he could've told you. You would say yes if he asked or told you.

You are just stunned maybe or confused with him doing this too since he's been being snappy at you since earlier.

"Whatever." You mumble throwing your bag to the floor and just sitting down at the chair opposite of where he's sitting.

Now you are the one in the bad mood.

"I still have the clothes and undergarments you left from last time..." he then says in a much calmer tone.

"Okay." You answer not looking at him.

You are not mad at him. You are just not happy with what he did. He probably wanted to surprise you with the idea earlier but since it got ruined during your clinic make out session. Now things are...

"Babe." He calls you

You turn your head to look at him. He looks serene now.

"Can you please come here..." he says

You get up and make your way to him, to sit down beside him.

"Not there." He says holding on to your wrist and leading you to move somewhere else. "Here..." he gestures for you to sit on top of him.

"But... your leg..."

"I can manage..." he breathes and then tugs you down so he could kiss you, cupping your face with one hand.

Your hands are now on his chest for balance support. You tried pulling away from the kiss but

"Sit..." he says in between the kiss.

And you do as he says. Kneeling down on the sofa, legs spread between his thighs, you sit down on him and slowly put your arms around his neck.

"Cheolie..." your lips part ways as you spoke and he tries to chase the kiss again but you bite your lips together. "Wait..."

"Why...?" He pouts

"What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" He runs his hands from your legs to your thighs and then underneath your skirt.

"You were just so cold to me... not even talking to me like I'm your girlfriend... and now you're kissing me and touching me..."

He throws his head back for a second and then sighs. "Babe, I'm sorry.... I was... well..."

"I said I'm sorry about the skirt... Don't worry. I will just wear pants starting on monday...."

"You sure?"

"Yeah... I promise." You kiss the tip of his nose. "I will just wear skirts when I'm with you."

"Really?" He raises a brow with matching smirk, biting his lower lip.

"Yeah..." you move your hips forward knowing what this tiny move will do to him. "I know you like to have easy access with me when we're together..." you softly say

He grunts as he feel you move a bit more. Rocking your hips over his erection that's sort of protected by his black jogging pants.

"I know what you're doing..." he hums

"And I know you like... what I'm doing..."

His smile goes ear to ear. "You're lucky I can't stand on my own yet... If I could..."

"What will you do?"

"Carry you over my shoulders and spread you on top of my bed..."

"And...?" You put your forehead to his.

"And...fuck you 'till dawn..."

Just the thought made you horny and wanting him. But since he can't do what he usually does to you, you decide to handle this on your own.

"You can still fuck me..." you say, grinning. "We have all night till tomorrow to find a way... a position you want me to be in."

"Fucking hell, babe." He grunts, sounding excited and turned on.

You adjust your position, making sure you can access him easily. Him meaning his long veiny length that's already leaking.

"Shit! Ah!" His mouth drops the second you hold onto him. His eyebrows is showing how he's loving the way you stroke and pump him. "Babe..." he moans. "Babe... aaaaahhh..." he throws his head back, his hands on his hair, trying to hold on to reality coz he is floating in heaven right now.

"Should I... let the tip touch me?"

"Touch... you?" He looks at you, brows furrowed from the high.

You already removed your panties off without him noticing.

"Yes... like this...." you then adjust your position back on top of him and lowered yourself just enough for the tip of his dick feel your entrance.

"Babe, fuck!" He snarls throwing his head back. "Your so damn wet already..."

You let him feel the wetness for awhile before you ease him in you.

"Holy... shiiiiit!"

"Ngggeeeaaah..." you breathe in as you suck him in whole.

"You're doing great babe." He pushes the hair off your face. "Don't rush it... just... feel it... feel me..."

When he's completely in you, you didn't move. You just hugged your man and took a breather.

"I can't believe my little fairy is being so daring..."

"Because I want to give you what you want... what you need..." you mumble on his neck.

"Babe, you know I can wait till I'm healed and ready to fuck you..."

"I know..." you look him in his eyes, "but I miss it too..."

"You do?"

You nod. "Us video calling... while we... you know... is not enough... I thought it was enough... but when I saw you earlier... I really did missed you more than I can imagine."

"You miss my dick?" He tease

"Babe!" You hide your face on his neck again.

"Ugh..." he suddenly moans. "Wow. I didn't know you get tigher when I tease you."

Seungcheol starts to move his hips a little, to ease dipper into you.

"Ah..." you exhale shakily. "Cheolie...hmmm...."

"You like that?"

"I do."

Then you start to move yourself.

You leaned back a little, pushing forward and pulling backward in motion to meet his slow but deep thrusting.

"Cheolie..." you cry his name as you feel like reaching your climax.

"Just let it go..."

"Fuck!" You throw your head back, panting and shaking. "Come with me..." you say, "come....with me..." you clentch more down there, making him feel the tightness.

"But babe..." biting on his lips, hissing and trying to control himself. "We don't have condoms."

"I don't care." You lean in for a sloppy kiss. "Come with me. I need to see you... melt with me..."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Babe..."

"Please..." you beg, "I want to feel it..."

"Fuck it!" He snarls as he goes to squeeze your ass under your skirt as he picks up the pace with you

It's amazing how strong he is. Even with an injured leg he could lift his hips to meet yours.

"Aaah!!" You moan as loudly as you can as you felt something in you pop.

He growls as soon as feel his length starts to release and feel the warmth in you.

"Fuck babe..." he is panting. "Our first time you being on top..."

Embarassed after your orgasm, you hug your man and hide your face again. "I only did what I know and can..."

"You did amazing... your handjob is what I needed to get me into the a frenzy." Then he kisses the top of your head. "I fucking love you... whatever you do... makes me love you even more..."

"I love you too..." you go for a kiss again. But then burst into a giggle when you felt him move. "You are still in me... I can feel you."

A smile spread over his lips, "Maybe we should continue this on my bed. I can do other positions and pump more in you if you want."

You grin, blushing. "I'd love to."

[daengtokki]

𝒯𝒽𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒟𝒶𝓉𝑒

Kim Seungmin/Female Reader

wc: 8.5k

rating: mature/explicit ಇ

comments: part three was heavily edited from it's original version. There are most likely some grammatical errors that I've glossed over from staring at the screen for so long. Feel free to send a message and let me know if you see anything wildly wrong.

→ PART ONE

→ PART TWO

Part 3 of 4

“You can’t be nervous if I’m nervous.”

He’s right. You take a deep breath and turn to face him again. Kiss him on the lips. Your free hand snakes around his waist, finds the hem of his shirt, and tucks underneath to run over his skin.

His muscles tighten for a second, then slowly relax as your hand moves upward against his side and back across his shoulder blade. He sighs as you touch him.

You haven’t felt this much of his body until now.

-

Your plane lands four hours later than scheduled. You’re tired, hungry, and your back is killing you. Korea Air is fine, and it always has been, but 13 hours in coach is something you’ll never get used to.

There were no plans to travel home up until three days ago, and it’s a miracle you got the week off to deal with your family. As much as you hate doing it, you don’t mind a change of scenery and a break from your typical work days in Korea.

Honestly, this is the perfect solution to the loneliness and monotony. It was only three weeks ago that you finally got to see Seungmin again, but it’s been a long three weeks. And he has kept his promise of keeping in touch.

Every single day since date number two, he's sent at least one text. You try to send messages only when he does, but occasionally you can’t help yourself, and you send something in the middle of your work day, or right before you go to bed. You’re still a little worried about being a bother, and holding back your clingy-ness has been difficult, but he always sends something back. Not always right away, but he does answer. And he sends selfies often—those texts are your favorite.

You have failed to mention that you’ve been on your way to Chicago (he sent a text about two hours ago, letting you know the first two shows had gone well), and that you’d be arriving the day before he would also be in the same city. But you’ll let him know soon. You don’t have much hope for getting to see him while you’re both here; he’s busy, and the last thing you want to do is bother him during a tight schedule. But he's been the only thing on your mind for weeks.

You managed to get a ticket to the Chicago concert the night you realized you be in town for it, but it wasn’t cheap. Even if you don’t get to see him alone, seeing him on stage will be worth the price.

____

“Who are you talking to?”

There’s a giggle in his ear, and a sharp chin lands on his shoulder. “Why are you smiliiing?”

IN grabs Seungmin’s shoulders and takes a seat directly behind him, giving him a good view of the phone in his friends hands.

“Don’t be nosy.”

“Is it the girl you’ve been talking to?”

Seungmin half turns and stares at IN, then looks him up and down, “What are you talking about?”

IN stares back wordlessly, a grin plastered on his face. He’s squinting his eyes at him accusingly. “I’m talking about the girl you’re always texting.”

Seungmin picks up his iced coffee, takes a sip, then releases himself from IN’s stare.

IN follows him across the room.

“Send her a cute selfie.”

“I already did.”

“Oh, haha!” He beams with pride at thinking he got him to slip up. “Did she send one back? Can I see her?”

“No. And no.”

“I won’t tell anyone else, I promise.”

“How did you know if nobody else knows?”

IN stops and thinks for a moment, then he side-eyes the other two members that are currently in the same room. They’re too far away to hear the conversation, but Seungmin stands and heads over to them.

“Chan?”

Chan turns and looks at him with a smile. He doesn’t get a chance to speak before Seungmin does.

“Did you tell IN about her?”

It takes him a few seconds to process what he’s being asked. “No, no…I didn’t tell anyone.” his voice lowers as he realizes what they’re talking about.

“How does he know?”

Chan peaks around him at IN, who’s already staring wide eyed. He beckons him over with two fingers, and he runs over, unbothered.

“How do you know?” He asks softly, very curiously. “I didn’t tell you.”

“I just guessed.”

Seungmin and Chan stare, speechless.

“I always see him smiling and laughing while he’s texting, and then taking selfies. I didn’t know he was actually texting…” he looks around at the others that just walked into the room. “…texting someone.” He whispers the last part.

“The less people that know, the better…” Chan says, but casually, as if he knows he doesn’t really have to tell IN. “It’s nothing serious, right Seungmin?”

“Huh…” he feels his phone buzz in his pocket. “Oh um, no…it’s not.”

Chan stares a little longer, “is it?”

Seungmin feels like his mind is being read. “We just talk a lot.”

He nods and leaves it at that. IN smiles at Seungmin once more before walking off. Then he pulls his phone out to check his notification.

Sounds like you guys had a good time. I did catch some fan videos from last night!

He smiles at the text, and then wonders what you’re doing up at four in the morning.

____

You pull out your phone, hoping the buzz in your pocket is him.

What are you doing up so late? Are you okay?

Oh, you forgot about the time difference. Maybe it’s time to let him know you’re not in Korea.

“I’m okay. I just landed in Chicago. I had a family thing come up, and I had to come home. I promise I’m not following you.”

You see him typing a few seconds after your message is delivered.

oh, you’re from Chicago! That’s so exciting that you’re here. Are you coming to the concert tomorrow night? Please come!

Before you have time to reply, he’s typing again…

Maybe not if you have family to see

“No, I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it”

let me know what seats you have…maybe I can get you closer

You’re trying to text him and stuff your bags into the trunk of you moms car at the same time.

“I don’t think they’re very close, but I’ll let you know as soon as I get home”

don’t worry, I’ll figure something out

“What are you so smiley about?” Your mom asks and slams the trunk shut.

“Just a text.”

____

“Sooo…”

“Soooo what?” Seungmin glances at IN. He has an inkling about what he’s getting at, and he’s trying not to indulge him too much. But Seungmin will admit that if any of them were going to find out prematurely, he's glad it was him.

“Can I see her?” He’s careful and quiet saying it. “Please?”

“Fine, give me a second.” He types a quick message and then pulls up the photos you’ve both shared. He finds one of the very few selfies you’ve sent him and shoves it a few inches from IN’s face.

He looks and his eyes widen, smirk grows. “Oh she’s not…” he stops himself and lowers his excited voice, “she’s not Korean? Oh she sent a text.” He giggled and tries to finish reading before Seungmin pulls the phone back.

“No, she’s not.”

“Where is she from?”

“Chicago. She’s here now, too.”

“Oh she’s gonna come see us tomorrow!”

Seungmin nods and types, “yeah, she is coming. I need to get her a better seat.”

“Sneak her into soundcheck.“

____

The next morning, you wake up to the buzzing of a text notification. A Seungmin message. You open it up and squint through sleepy, jet-lagged eyes. It’s barely 8 am. You slept an entire ten hours, at least.

Good morning 🤍 if you’re able to, come down to the venue at around 2!

A close-up selfie follows. You can only see his eye, a peace sign, and a little bit of hair.

And a heart emoji. That combination is a first.

You reply, set an alarm, and immediately fall back asleep.

And luckily, you don’t sleep through it. At eleven, you’re up, nervous, showered, more nervous, and then when it’s time to figure out your wardrobe, you feel like you’re going to puke. Knowing you’ll see Seungmin is keeping most of your nerves at bay, but the fact that it’ll be at an arena of this size, with this many people (you assume there will be a massive amount of fans already hanging around that early, because you know how concerts here are), and throw in the possibility of meeting his friends…you’re nervous.

____

It’s as busy near the venue as you expected. And you find yourself enjoying it, surprisingly. Seeing all of the fans gathered around and clearly having a good time, despite the heat, is nice.

You jump out of your Uber and send a text to Seungmin. You need a more accurate location to head to, but for now you don’t mind wandering around and people watching. Just a glance at someone seems to immediately give away their favorite member, and you make it a point to look for anyone who prefers your favorite.

A text message buzzes before you get too far.

there is a staff entrance at the box office, just walk in and pretend like you belong

That sounds like a terrible idea, but you trust him and head in that direction. It’s not very busy there, because the tickets have long since sold out, but there are staff members milling around. You don’t look like you belong, but you also know that attitude and demeanor can get you far, so…

____

Seungmin only mentioned his plan (IN’s, really) to Chan about ten minutes prior to his last message to you.

“I don’t know if that was the best idea,” he says. “Is she already here?”

“Yes, she’s somewhere outside. And I know.”

“Okay, I might have a solution. Wait here.”

Chan disappears for a few minutes, and in the meantime, Seungmin actually starts to feel a little nervous. His plan was simple: have you walk casually in through the staff entrance he’s already seen used many times that days, by many different people—some with and some without staff shirts or lanyards.

“Even if she gets in using your terrible plan,” Chan returns, and behind him is a man much larger and taller than either of them. “She can’t walk around alone or with you the entire time.”

“She gets her own bodyguard!”

“Chaperone. And she won’t look too out of place with him. “

“Thanks, Chan. Thank you, Jay.”

“No problem, buddy. Let’s go find her before she gets lost.” Jay pats Seungmin on the back and leads him down the hallway. “What does she look like?”

It’s a long walk toward the entrance, but both of them scan every person and group as they pass by. It gives the butterflies in his stomach more time to move up to his chest and throat.

“She’s right there!” Seungmin waves and gets your attention before approaching. He doesn’t want to make a scene, so he waits until none of the venue staff is around.

You have a hard time containing yourself when you finally catch sight of him. You don’t remember him ever smiling as wide as he is right now, and it makes your legs tremble a little.

You wave and wait for him to reach you.

“Hey…” Seungmin stands a few feet from you. He seems a little uneasy.

The man following behind him is obviously trying to keep some distance, but not too much distance. “I can turn away if it makes you both more comfortable.”

“No Jay, you’re fine,” Seungmin laughs but doesn’t look away from you.

“Is this your bodyguard?”

“He is, actually. But today he’s going to hang out with you so you don’t look out of place, and you have someone who knows what’s going on.”

“Oh, that's a relief.”

“But I’ll take you to our dressing room if you’d like…if you want to meet everyone."

"I'm...I do, but do you think it's too much? I mean, too much too soon?"

"Meeting them?" He thinks about it. His mouth is pushed to one side, puffing up his cheek. "I don't mind if you want to wait. We can always just go right out by the stage for soundcheck. You'll see them out there, they'll probably see you. You'll be a mystery."

"I like that idea. Maybe afterward I'll feel better about it."

He nods and waves Jay over. He still hasn’t taken his eyes off of you.

“You look nice.” He lowers his voice and and drops his gaze to the floor. But you can still see his smile.

____

You’re sitting a few rows back from the main stage. Your chaperone is a few yards away and much more relaxed out here. There are so many people working the sound check that your extra face is hardly out of place, so now you feel like you can relax and enjoy the view.

All eight of them are on stage, along with a few band members, and some techs. There’s a camera filming everything just off stage, and another directly on stage with them. You watch Seungmin as he interacts with it. He looks relaxed and happy. No more worry in his eyes.

You get out the earplugs he gave you, but for now you just enjoy listening to him speak into his mic and headset. He looks at you a few times, but subtly, trying not to direct too much attention.

One of the others keeps looking your way, you assume out of confusion or curiosity. Or both. It’s Lee Know. You watch as he walks along the edge of the stage closest to where you’re sitting. Another member joins him and looks out; this one is smiling, almost as wide as Seungmin smiled at you earlier. You know who everyone is thanks to the endless videos you've watched. It's IN.

You try not to make too much eye contact, but you don’t avoid them completely. They seem to know who you are.

Your chaperone appears next to again and takes a seat, “having a good time?”

“I am, thank you for dealing with me.”

“No problem, anything for these boys.”

“Do you know them well?”

“I’ve been working with them for a while now, so I’d say I do. How’d a girl like you meet Mr. Kim?”

The Mr. Kim is said with a bit of sarcasm, but a cute, playful sarcasm. And by a girl like you, you assume he means an American.

“I live in Korea, near where he grew up. We met through a friend. Do we seem like a weird match? I mean…we’re not a couple—"

“Are you sure about that? He’s looking at you right now with those big puppy dog eyes.”

Jay points up to Seungmin. When you look, he quickly smiles and waves before running back to the center of the stage.

____

Your adrenaline is off the charts at the end of the concert. You had an idea of what to expect from footage of other concerts, but being there in person, watching them…watching him, was obviously on another level. You feel like you’ve been introduced to a new little part of Seungmin’s personality. You feel closer to him.

Now you’re back outside in the fresh night air. You haven’t heard from him yet, but you’re not surprised. He’s probably exhausted. You stick around, though. He didn’t mention anything about seeing each other after the concert ended, so you don’t assume anything or get your hopes up (even though they are, by default, always up when it comes to him).

A small group of girls—you can’t really tell how old, maybe around your age—find a place to sit near you. They’re understandably excited and very loud, so you listen in as they talk about their favorite parts, favorite songs, and biases. The loudest of the group is a Felix fan. You sneak a glance at them and one of them notices you.

She waves, “are you here alone?”

You look around and then point to yourself, “Me? Oh, yeah I am.”

The rest of them wave you over with such enthusiasm that you can’t possibly deny them your presence.

“Was it your first concert? It was mine, but not theirs. We’re flying to California for the first two next week.” The girl who looks the youngest, and has a Han Quokka plush strapped to her gestures to the whole group. “Are you going to any more?”

“This is the only one I got a ticket for, so probably not.

“Who’s you bias?” The one who spoke to you first asks.

You hesitate for a moment. Who is your bias?

“It’s Seungmin.”

The girl continues talking, but you’re distracted by the buzzing of your phone. It’s him.

you are still around, yeah?

“Of course! I’m outside”

Now he’s calling. “Sorry, I gotta get this!” You excuse yourself from the group and answer.

“Hi, it’s a little loud out here.”

“Okay, I just figured calling would be easier. Come back in the way you did earlier, I’m already here.”

“Okay, I’m near there. Give me 10 seconds.”

He starts counting down…

“Okay…nine…”

You laugh and speed up a little—

“Eight…”

—but there are more people here and dodging them is not easy.

“Seven…six…five…”

“Count slower!”

“Fooooouur…three…”

You see the door and push through a couple much harder than you intend, but your hand is pushing the door open just as Seungmin says—

“Two! You did it!”

He’s a good distance away, but you can see his smile. He takes a few steps toward you, but lets you finish closing the gap. He holds out his arms and pulls you into a hug, which catches you off guard. You’re surprised oh makes him giggle. There’s nobody around except for Jay, but it still feels very bold.

“You were amazing.” You squeeze him a little tighter around the waist, and he reciprocates.

“Thank you…I hope you had a good time.”

“I did,” you slowly release him but keep a bit of his shirt clenched in your fist. “What’s your plan for tonight?”

“Hotel tonight…and I think we are leaving in the morning. Unless they change things last minute, which sometimes happens.”

“Well, at least you don’t have to leave right away. It’d be nice if you stayed in Chicago a little longer, though.”

“Yes, it would be nice.” You see him glance at Jay and lower his voice. “I can let you know which hotel, though. And I’ll text you my room number.“

“Oh?” You feel your face getting hot, and Seungmin’s cheeks have definitely turned a shade of pink.

“Unless I have to share the room.”

“Well, you just let know which hotel. And we’ll figure something out if we need to.”

He nods shyly and takes your face in his hands. He doesn’t pull you in for a kiss, though, just gently rubs his thumb over your cheek. And it’s somehow even better.

“I have to go, but I’ll text you.” He disappears with Jay around the corner.

And then you panic a little, because you weren’t ready for a hotel invitation. You’re having flashbacks of the last date, and how heavy things got for just a few minutes. And how Seungmin reacted, because he hasn’t gone that far with anyone yet.

Maybe that isn’t what he was getting at. You’ve spent plenty of time with him alone in your apartment, why would being alone in his hotel be any different?

It’s just a feeling. Just in the way he lowered his voice and blushed. Things will play out how they’re supposed to, though. No pressure. You’d never put him in an uncomfortable situation.

It might be a good idea to prepare anyway.

Going home seems pointless, because the hotel is most likely here in the city. You don’t want to waste time traveling home and then back. You’re already short on time as it is.

But when you find a convenience store to pop into, you get a look at yourself in the mirror. It could be worse, you suppose. It was a hot day, and the concert was no different. Besides, Seungmin has already seen you like this. It can’t be that bad.

But you do buy a water to chug, gum, and when you pass by the condoms, you stare at them for far too long. Buying them means you expect something to happen, and you feel weird about expecting it for some reason. Not buying them and being unprepared seems worse, though.

You grab a pack. You grab two, actually. You did get a quick feel of him before. And you remember it well. Now you just have to deal with the awkwardness of checking out with two different sizes of condoms.

You stuff your purchases between the mess of other things in your bag and walk aimlessly for a few blocks. It’s still crowded down here, even though it’s getting late, and you can’t help but start worrying when almost an hour passes with no text from a Seungmin.

Maybe you should have gone home and waited.

But just as the thought crosses your mind, you get a message.

“Here’s the address, and my room number is 1344.”

Your heart starts to race when you read it. He has his own room, so things will at least be easy. And the address is only another two blocks away.

____

You text him when you get to his room instead of knocking. You’re afraid to make any unnecessary noise. He's shuffling around in the room before the latch clicks and the doorknob turns.

Somehow every time you see him, he’s even better looking.

The door is closed and locked behind you before either of you speak.

“Hi…you got here fast!”

“I was close by. Was I too fast?” You look him up and down. He’s in sweatpants and a black t-shirt, and his hair is a little damp.

“No, definitely not. As long as I don’t look like a wet dog.”

“No, you look very handsome,” you grab a handful of his shirt and pull him toward you. “It’s a good look.”

He leans forward and kisses you on the forehead. Another romantic gesture. It gives you butterflies. You like it, but you can't help but be baffled by his very bold and distinct romantic gestures. Three weeks ago he had a hard time with your hypothetical dating question. But that was three weeks ago.

“Do you want something more comfortable to wear? I can give you one of my shirts.

Okay, so maybe he does want you to spend the night, “Yes, I'd like that.”

He grabs one from his bag and shakes it out. Then he brings it to his face to smell it, “this is clean.”

“Thanks,” you hold it up and look at it.

“It not very big on me, so it should fit okay.”

You head into the bathroom and look at yourself again, try to get the butterflies in your stomach to calm down. Big breath in, slow breath out. It doesn’t seem like he’s trying to drive you crazy, but he’s doing a very good job.

You start taking off your necklaces, your bracelets, and then peel off your shirt that’s long since dried from the sweating you did all day. You check yourself for any offending odors, and even though it’s not bad, you take the time clean up the best you can.

It’s been a while since you had to do a sink bath before a potential lay. And every single one before this wasn’t even worth it. Seungmin is different, though.

Now you wonder if this is the way you want things to go. In a hotel, very little preparation. But you may not see him again for a while after tonight. And if this feels good for him, it's good for you.

There is still the possibility that he won’t be ready.

You slip into his shirt, and it's still pretty big. The sleeves reach your elbows and the bottom hem just covers your shorts. You could walk out without them and he might not even realize it—you take them off and fold them up neatly with your shirt and jewelry, look at yourself one more time, and then head back out to him.

“Oh, that looks good on you,” he turns from his seat at the edge of the bed, then pats his hands on the spot next to him. “Come here.”

As you climb onto the bed and crawl toward him, he slowly lies down on his back. “Are you tired?”

“No, not tired,” he props himself up on his elbow to get a better look at you. “Not yet...it takes a while to relax after a concert." He pulls at the hem of your shirt and his fingers slide across your thigh. He takes his hand away, so you grab it and put it back. Seungmin takes the hint and slides his palm to the side and gently squeezes.

When he looks up at you, you grin, but he just lets himself fall forward so he can hide his face in the blanket. You hear a big sigh, and maybe a soft laugh.

“What’s the matter?” You lie down next to him and wait until he turns his face to yours. “Minnie?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Do you want to get cozy and watch something?”

“Yes, that sounds nice.”

You pull the blankets down and fluff the pillows while he gathers himself again. “Which side do you prefer?”

“I’m not sure, I don’t usually have to choose.”

“Okay, I’ll take the left side.” You cover yourself up and relax against the pillows.

Seungmin follows, but he stays on top of the blankets for a moment and stares at you. You stare back and say nothing. Then he crawls underneath them, too.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep my hands to myself.” You say.

He just pushes himself into the pillows and pulls the blanket up to his chin without a word, but he turns himself to face you.

You do the same.

“If that’s what you want.” He says.

You roll your eyes around as if you’re thinking and hmm under your breath. “Can I come closer?”

He nods.

You scoot yourself toward him until you can rest your forehead against his. “That’s better.”

“Can’t watch anything like this.”

“Oh, no I guess not,” you move back a little and look him over. “Should we—“

“No,” he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you back. “This is good.”

You take the invitation and place your hand on his neck; he moves in for a kiss before you get the chance to, though. And he kisses hard enough to push you on your back.

For a moment you think this might be it, but you find yourself hesitating and softening your kiss. Then loosening the grip on his neck.

He pulls back and stares down at you.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna do,” you cup his face and hold him there. “There’s no rush.”

“I know.” He comes back down, kisses you once, and then falls back at your side. But his arm remains draped over your stomach.

Your heart sinks a little. It feels like you don’t know what you want. Well, you do know you want him, but you’re nervous. Maybe just as nervous as he is. “Don’t think I don’t want to, because I do.”

Seungmin smiles and sets his head against your shoulder. “I know you do.”

He knows you want him. You’re glad he knows—and you love the way he says it.

“Are you stopping because you’re worried I’m not ready?”

“No, only you know that. I’m just a little nervous, I guess.”

“You’re nervous?”

“I am.”

“You can’t be nervous if I’m nervous.”

He’s right. You take a deep breath and turn to face him again. Kiss him on the lips. Your free hand snakes around his waist, finds the hem of his shirt, and tucks underneath to run over his skin.

His muscles tighten for a second, then slowly relax as your hand moves upward against his side and across his shoulder blade. He sighs as you touch him.

You haven’t felt this much of his body until now.

You keep going, touching his stomach, his chest. It’s then that you feel his hand on you. It’s warm moving across your thigh, over your hip. His touch is soft, but he squeezes when he pulls you closer.

Seungmin slides his hand down to the back of your thigh and brings you as close as he can manage.

He’s on top off you again, hand still on you. His hips are gently pushing into yours. You can feel him through his sweatpants, and now your brain only wants one thing: to get them off of him.

“Seungmin,” you get him to look at you. “Seungmin?”

“Mhm?”

You pull his shirt over his head and toss it aside.

“Yeah?” He kisses your neck and lifts your shirt. “Are you okay?”

You nod and help him get it off.

“Oh,” he laughs and touches the spot directly below your sternum. “Tattoo.”

He looks over you slowly, a little shyly, before placing a kiss on your collarbone. You run a hand across the back of his neck. The other slides down his stomach until it reaches the band of his sweatpants.

Your heart beats wildly in your throat as your hand disappears. Fingers wrap around him and feel every inch. He whimpers softly into your neck. The hand buried in his hair moves down and kneads hard into his shoulder as your fingers stroke him.

Seungmin’s face is still in your neck, breathing hard. Eventually he takes a hand and maneuvers it to pull at his sweatpants. You let go to help slide them down enough to free him.

He moans, a little apprehensively, when you touch him again. You know you have to take it easy; he’s obviously very sensitive and you want this to last as long as possible for him.

“I like hearing you, don’t be shy.”

He tries to hold back an embarrassed laugh, but he does a bad job of it.

“Are you comfortable in this position? I could…do this with you on your back.”

He nods, but you don’t know which part he’s nodding to.

“Lie down.”

You let go of him until he’s on his back and relaxing. His face is still flushed and his breathing is a little shaky, but his eyes are almost closed. He seems relaxed enough. You kiss him and wrap your hand around him again.

His eyes open fully when you begin to stroke him again. His lips part and you slide your tongue against his.

The moans coming from him become a little louder. His hand lightly grips and slides down you arm.

“I didn’t really prepare for this. It could be better…if we had lube.”

“It feels good.” He whispers and smiles into your mouth. “Oh, I do have some.”

“Where?” You slow down a bit and let go of his lips. “I can grab it.”

“It’s…” he laughs sleepily, “it’s in my bag on the chair, in the smaller black bag.”

You climb over him and jump off the bed. The bag is is already open and a few things have been pulled out, but you can see a small black bag on the side. “I found it,” you unzip it and look around.

“It’s in the other little bag inside of that.” He laughs again. “Everyone is very nosy.”

You unzip the second bag, and there it is. It’s small, and still looks pretty full. You turn and look at him, “for when you’re lonely and horny on the road.”

He laughs again. “Yes, exactly.”

You warm a small amount in your hand and push the blanket down a little. You’ve touched him, but you haven’t really looked anywhere besides his lips and eyes yet. Now you watch your hand slowly move up and down , and the warmth and slickness makes everything so much better. You can feel how good it is for him. Your heartbeat drops into your stomach and you can feel yourself getting wetter every time he lets himself moan.

But as wet as you think you might be, his size is still more intimidating than you expected.

“You’re very good at this.”

You don’t think you’ve ever heard his voice so soft.

“Yeah?”

He bites his lips and nods. “It feels so good.”

The room is warm, and the AC hasn't kicked on again. There are a few beads of sweat forming at his temple—you kiss him there and work your way down to his chest, then across his stomach.

The muscles tighten as you move across his hot skin, further and further down. When you slide your tongue across his head, he moans out the breath he’d been holding since you got to his chest. The sound he makes is desperate. He does it again when your lips close around him and your hand grips a little more tightly.

He wasn’t prepared for your mouth. He breathes out your name and it sends a wave of pleasure through you. His hand touches softly across your back and neck.

He says your name again.

“You okay, Minnie?” You kiss his stomach again and look up at him.

He nods and sits up, “can I touch you?”

You let go of him and straddle his stomach. He reaches for you and runs his fingers over the thin fabric. You put your hand over his and push your underwear to the side so he can feel you. There’s another, almost inaudible moan when he does.

Two fingers slip deep inside as you lean in to kiss him, and with your help, he gets the hang of moving inside of you.

You sigh sweetly into his mouth. You’re already much more sensitive than you normally would be. Every little movement he makes is causing just enough friction where you need it. The heel of his palm found your clit and you’re not sure he even realizes.

“I’m gonna come if you keep that up, wait a sec,” you stop his hand and take a deep breath.

“You are?” His voice cracks and he sits up more. His other hand has been digging into your hip, and he finally loosens his grip. There might be a bruise there later.

You grab his face and kiss him hard, then finally maneuver yourself out of your underwear while he’s there to keep you balanced. You reach behind and find his cock, stroke him a few times, and move back.

“Are you good if I…have a seat?” You laugh and wrap your other arm around his shoulder.

“Yes, very good,” he holds onto your waist to help steady you both.

When his head slides across you, he smiles and throws his head back. You do it again before carefully pushing him a little bit inside of you. It doesn’t take much to get another sound out of him.

“There’s a lot more to go,”

He looks drunk, but he smirks, “sorry.”

“For what?”

“For having a lot more to go,” he laughs.

“I’m not complaining.”

You push him deeper, just a little, because you’re not sure what your limit will be in this position.

And deeper. You watch him carefully. His eyes are closed and his mouth is open. You hold him tightly around the neck with both arms before slowly lifting yourself.

It takes a few more times before you find a rhythm , but when you do, you’re sure the sound Seungmin makes reaches the surrounding hotel rooms.

You try to quiet him with your mouth, but it only stifles him a little. You love the noise, but if the others are close enough to hear him, it might makes things awkward.

His hands hold your hips and slowly guide you up and down on his cock. You breath his name into his mouth, and he bites down on your lip.

His voice is a whisper. “Is it okay?”

“Yes,” you whine and push yourself as far down as you can. It stings, just a little, and only for a moment. “You feel so good.”

He leans back to watch himself slide inside of you, and the lusty, satisfied look on his face is making the ride even smoother. “Do I?” He takes your face in his hand and runs his thumb along your lips and cheek.

The room disappears and all that exists is the feeling of him; his breath on your neck, his voice in your ears. His hands grip you tighter, lifting you, and holding you steady when he fills you up again.

He’s not ready for it when you pick up your pace. His fingers dig hard into your hips—you hear him swear under his breath as he attempts to keep himself under control.

“Talk to me, I wanna hear your voice. Do you like it, Minnie?”

Seungmin kisses your neck, his lips graze over your ear, “yes,” he manages through the soft sounds he can’t hold back, “yes, fuck. You feel amazing.”

You pull him away and look at him, arms still wrapped firmly around his neck. One hand slides up and into his hair. “I like you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Under me, lost in it. I thought you were sexy before…but—“

“You think I’m sexy?” His smile is cute and tipsy, voice is airy. If it weren’t for you holding him up, he’d be flat on his back.

All of the sudden, you’re snapped back to reality. Seungmin is there, eyes wide, but the room is back. You’re no longer floating. You lost control and went a little too hard, and it hurt. You make a pained sound and all of your weight is on his shoulders.

“Did I hurt you?” He holds you up and pulls out, and you’re now relieved to be giving your burning thighs a break.

“No, no you didn’t,” You have to kiss him to get rid of the worried look on his face. “That was my fault.”

“We should change positions.”

You lay back on the pillows and grab his waist when he crawls over you. Your legs fall open and rest on either side of him.

“This is a bad angle for you to look at,” he smiles and hides his face in your neck.

You lift his face back up, “is that a joke? You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever had between my legs.”

He whispers a no and hides his face again, but at the same time, his fingertips slide down your thigh as if he’s teasing you.

”Sexiest…” you moan into his ear and wrap your legs around him to bring him closer.

You don’t need to give him any more direction. He explores you briefly with his fingers before guiding himself in the same way you did; slow and gentle.

“I’ll be careful…” he slides in easily in this position, stopping short to make sure he isn’t going too far.

You take his hips and carefully pull him in the rest of the way.

A rough groan jumps out of him when you meet. He stays there and looks at you until you brush the hair from his eyes and speak. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” he smiles, looks down your body, then back up to your face. “Just like looking at you.”

“I’m the one with the view,” you kiss him and shift your hips, getting another sound out of him.

Now he’s finding a rhythm, but he’s much more reserved than you were. He seems to know his own limits, and maybe he’s trying not to overdo it and finish too fast.

“Is this okay?” He nuzzles into your ear and whispers before kissing you just below it.

“Yes,” your hands run up his sides and back, his neck, into his hair, “it’s perfect.”

He thrusts into you, very delicately, a few more times before slowing down. Then he stops completely, still inside of you. He’s breathing hard, eyes closed in concentration.

“Seungmin?”

“I just…need a few seconds.”

“Take your time,” you take his hand in yours and help his thumb find your clit.

He moves it in slow circles and watches you for any direction. But he does very well. He has a light touch, and a good pace. His hands are soft and warm. This, combined with him inside of you, looking down at you with eyes drunk with pleasure trying so hard not to come yet, is making everything happen very fast. But you don’t mind.

When he pulls out halfway and pushes back inside, you whimper and the pleased look on his face pushes you over the edge. He smiles and starts fucking you again, and he doesn't let up—you feel it coming. You moan much louder than you intend. He loves hearing it.

Your back arches up and your legs squeeze around him. It lasts a long time, and he doesn’t stop—just carefully touches you in the right spot until your body finally relaxes

“Wow…did you—”

You nod and try to catch your breath.

He doesn’t get through his question because it’s his turn. He comes hard and fast. The condom was completely forgotten up until this point, and he certainly doesn’t attempt to pull out. You don’t even allow yourself to dwell on it—you just enjoy the moment.

Seungmin’s mouth hangs open, and his eyes water. His moan is different this time; it’s more feral. His whole body tightens and moves in slow motion as his orgasm passes through him. He pumps into you until he can't take it anymore..

Then he’s catching his breath and regaining his composure. He comes down to kiss you, tucks an arm under your neck to bring you closer. He slowly pulls out and puts his weight on his knees.

“Come here…”

He listens and slowly lowers himself next to you. His hair is a little damp from sweat, and his face is pink. It’s a good look for him. You pull the sheet up and over both of you, then wipe at his brow with your thumb.

“That was nice,” he’s still catching his breath. His eyes close and you can see his body soften and relax on the pillows. “That was very nice.”

“Yeah, it was.”

“It was better than nice,” his eyes flutter open and he looks at you. Then he reaches out and pulls until there’s no space left between you. “It was much better than I thought it could be.”

“Wow,” you say into his neck. “That’s quite a compliment.”

“But I’m sorry, it’s probably not great that we didn’t use protection.”

“No, but I’ll take care of it in the morning.”

Someone’s phone buzzes.

“I think that was me,” Seungmin says and reaches behind him. His phone got lost somewhere underneath the blankets. As soon as he glances at the screen, he tosses it behind him again. “Are you going to stay the night?” He asks, arms tight around you again.

“I should get home before my mom starts to worry.”

He nods and tries to hide a pout.

“But you’re leaving in the morning, right?

“I think so, I’m not sure what time.”

“Would it be alright if I spent the night? So we can say goodbye.”

“Yes, that's a much better plan.”

“Can I use the shower?” You wiggle free of his grasp and look at him, “heat, concert, sex…that’s a lot to sleep in.”

Seungmin laughs and nods, “yes, go take a long hot shower.”

____

When you come back to the room, Seungmin is sitting at the desk writing. You can hear soft music playing from his phone. There are fresh clothes laid out on your side of the bed: the shirt you had on very briefly, and a pair of very comfy looking sweatpants.

“Are these for me?” You ask. He’s already cleaned up and redressed.

He closes his book he’s writing in and spins around in the chair, “yes, I’m sure they won’t fit very well, but they’re comfortable.”

“Thank you.” You drop your towel and pick up the shirt.

Seungmin stares at you as you pull it over your head, “what?” You laugh and grab the sweatpants. They are soft and they look expensive.

“Uhm, sorry…I didn’t see you without your bra before.”

You think he might be blushing.

“Oh!” You grab your chest, “I guess you didn’t. Come here.”

“Hm?” He smirks and walks toward you as you lift the shirt back over your head. “Oh…”

You take his hands and he immediately touches you, running his palms, and then his fingertips, over your nipples. They stiffen from his touch. He sits at the edge of the bed and pulls you closer, keeping one hand on your chest. The other runs down your side and over your ass. He squeezes and kisses the spot where your tattoo is.

This could turn into something very quickly, but right now you want nothing more than to get under the covers with him and sleep. You know he needs it.

“I like this,” he pulls at the hem of your shirt when you slip it back on. “You look cute in my clothes.”

____

It’s nice waking up next to him.

The room is still dark because the curtains are pulled shut, but not completely—little bits of sunlight make it in through the sides. You can see his sleeping face, cheek squashed against the pillow, lips slightly parted. He’s curled up tight in his spot with the blanket only covering his lower half, but one bare knee is far up enough to poke out.

His arm is reaching toward you, palm up and fingers curled. You slide your hand over the sheets and gently touch him. His fingers twitch and then close around yours.

He sighs deeply, then opens his eyes. First he looks at his hand holding onto yours, then his eyes move along your arm and up to where you’re laying on your pillow.

“Good morning,” he squeezes your hand and moves himself closer to you. “Did you sleep well?”

You nod and pull his hand up to your lips. “Did you?”

“Mhm, very well.”

“Did I tell you how amazing you were last night?” You ask and fluff his hair, “I mean…” you hide behind a hand, “I’m still asleep.”

“Well, I don’t know about…amazing.”

“The concert I mean!” you hide your face in the pillow, and Seungmin giggles as he tries to get you to look at him.

“I was okay I think.”

“The concert was…and you. I was focused on you the whole time.” You clarify as much as possible through your grin.

“You focused on Seungmin the whole time?”

“Yeah, the best part.

“And last night…last last night.” He smiles wide.

“Also focused on Seungmin.”

He pushes himself closer until his face disappears into your neck. “Thank you.”

A knock echoes through the room. Three heavy knocks. The voice that comes through is soft. “Seungmin, are you up?”

“Oh, it’s Lee Know. Stay here.”

You stay put and pull the covers up over your shoulders, but you turn to face the door. Seungmin opens the locks and pulls it open a few inches.

“What’s wrong? It’s still early.”

“I know, but I thought you might want to get breakfast,” Lee Know puts a palm on his side of the door and pushes, “can I not come in?”

“Uh, you can but…” Seungmin hesitates. “I’m not alone.” He gives in when Lee Know takes several steps into the room. He won’t be able to hide you for much longer.

“Oh,” he looks to the spot on the bed where you’re under a pile of covers. “Is it the girl, the one who was at the soundcheck?”

“Did IN tell you about her?.”

“No, Chan did. I should go. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to go,” you squeak out. You can just make him out from your spot, and when you pull the covers down from your nose, his whole body comes into view. Then you remember that one of them doesn't speak English very well, and you think it may have been him. You repeat yourself in Korean.

His eyes widen a bit. “Should we all get into bed, then?” He can be sarcastic and dry; you remember Seungmin mentioned that as well.

You sit up and look at him with a smirk on your face. “He’s the boss.” You nod toward Seungmin.

“You’re the boss,” Lee Know looks at Seungmin and winks. “Text me if you want to come.”

Now he turns to you, “nice to meet you,” he smirks and lets himself out.

Seungmin let’s out a long sigh when he’s gone.

“Come back to bed,” you move the blankets from his spot and fluff up his pillow. “Please.”

He listens and crawls back to your side. When he puts an arm around your waist and pulls you close, he says, “I was nervous about you meeting him.”

“Lee Know? Why were you nervous?”

“Am…am nervous, I guess.”

“You don’t think he’d like me?”

“The opposite, actually.” He hides his face in your chest and whines.

You oooh into his ear and it makes him giggle. “Does that tickle?” You move his hair and place a kiss there.

“I think you two are very similar.” Seungmin says. “You remind me of him sometimes, especially when we text.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No,” he shakes his head, still shoved into your chest. “But, I just think you’d like him.”

You scoot yourself down until you’re face to face with him, but he still doesn’t lift his gaze. “Hey, look at me.”

He doesn't.

"Minnie?"

This time he listens, but he also gives you his best puppy eyes.

“You think I’ll get to know him and like him more than I like you?”

Seungmin nods.

“And that he’ll steal me away from you?”

He nods again, then stops and shakes his head, "You're not really mine to be stolen away..." he scrunches his face up in thought, wondering if his English made any sense.

“Well, I’m a little flattered you’d think someone else would like me that much. I’m much more flattered you don’t wanna have me stolen away.”

He rubs his eyes and sits himself up on the bed. “I’m sorry, I know we already talked about this.”

“We can talk about it again if you want to.”

He shakes his head and gets back under the covers. His hands find you and start to paw—at your side, your hip. He slides one down your outer thigh, and slowly back up. Then he starts to talk anyway. “He also knows Choonhee very well.”

“Okay, I think I'm understanding. I could have possibly been set up with Lee Know instead of Seungmin?”

You can hear his dramatic whine from underneath the covers. “It is very possible.”

“But I was set up with you for a reason. And you’re the first person I went on a date with since I left home, so I got very lucky.”

“Lucky?”

“Yeah, lucky. Good dates are hard to find.”

Seungmin pokes his head out from the covers and smiles at you. “I’m glad I was a good date.”

"You were a perfect date."

"You should call me Minnie more." He says it's softly, but his hands are in a dangerous spot. "All the time. I like it.

"You were a perfect date, Minnie."

[willowsnook]

please more Andrei Iosivas x Reader they were soo good

Andrei Iosivas x Reader

summary: Andrei takes care of you after watching you drink too much on a night after a Bengals win. You say things that you probably shouldn't have.

It's another Sunday night where you find yourself at a club instead of tucked in bed getting ready for the work week. This is all thanks to your best friend Olivia who drags you out with her everytime the Bengals win. Her bf Joe, who quickly became one of your good friends, always pays for all your drinks so you don't mind that much. Plus it means you get to see his teammate Andrei who you've been pinning over for a while now.

He was the hottest man you had ever seen and you enjoyed the flirty friendship the two of you had. But you were a traditionalist and not interested in making the first move which was starting to leave you frustrated. Your form-fitting black dress hit all the right places on you and you hoped it would catch his attention.

"Drink up," Olivia yelled at you over the loud music, handing you a drink. You took a sip and winced.

"What is this?" You questioned, there seemed to be no mixer.

"An AMF!" she said cheerfully and you groaned. You hadn't had one of those since college. Joe had a tight grip on her waist as he scanned the club looking for someone.

"Andrei!" He yelled, waving his other hand up. You felt a presence come behind you and you turned to see your crush standing there with a mega watt smile.

"I know you wore that for me," he whispered in your ear and you smirked before moving your lips next to his.

"And what if I did?" You saw his eyes darken but you turned to Olivia taking her hand.

"Let's dance."

-------------------------

Three AMFs later and you were fucked. You had lost Olivia a while ago and were dancing with some random girls as the room spun around you. You stumbled your way to the side hoping to catch a glimpse of your best friend somewhere. Not paying attention you ran straight into the back of someone but were relieved when they turned around and you were looking at Andrei. His eyes quickly narrowed at you.

"Where's Olivia?" He questioned. You shrugged your shoulders and twirled a piece of your hair.

"Who knows, I lost her," you told him nonchalantly. He grabbed your arm and pulled you with him towards a quieter area.

"You are literally trashed," he said angrily and you crossed your arms over your chest.

"No you're trashed." He huffed and pulled his phone up to his ear. You started to turn to walk away but he pulled you with his other arm into him, wrapping it possessively around your waist.

"Hey, I've got her," you heard him tell someone. "No, I'm just going to bring her home with me." That caught your attention.

"I'm not going home with you," you told him. He was already pulling uber up on his phone before he answered.

"Not up for debate," he simply said and you tried to break free of his grasp.

"Why so we can flirt and you can tease me more but won't touch me?" I asked drunkenly. "I'm sure I can find someone else here to go home with that will leave me satisfied." He jerked my chin up to look at him and I could see the rage in his eyes.

"You are not going home with anyone else much less talking or looking at a single man here," he growled. "Now let's go."

He dragged you out of the club and the two of you enjoyed a nice uber ride home in complete silence. In your drunken state you tripped on the sidewalk on the way up to his building and before you faceplanted you felt Andrei's arms grab you and pull you up. You found yourself lifted into his arms with your dress riding up.

"Fucking hell," he muttered under his breath while trying to pull your dress down.

"Why'd you even wear this? It's too short," he asked when you made it to the elevator. You had your eyes closed as your head was leaned against his chest.

"So you would want to fuck me," you replied sleepily. You heard him take a deep breath as if he was trying to restrain himself. He carried you into his apartment and laid you carefully down on the couch. You opened your eyes back up to see him holding out a glass of water to you which you gladly accepted. He had changed into just a pair of gray sweatpants and your eyes raked over his naked chest.

"Don't make this harder on me," he begged. And you looked at him confused.

"Why?" He knelt down to the couch until he was eye level with you.

"Don't you think I've wanted you since the second I saw you?" You gulped as his stare burned into you. "Always teasing me and testing my restraint. But Joe told me no, that you were special and not someone to just fuck around with. So I didn't do anything but you make that so incredibly hard." He raked a hand through his hair. You sat up on the couch.

"Tell me you want me," he whispered, your faces an inch apart. Instead of responding you wrapped your hand behind his head and pushed your lips together. He deepened the kiss and ran his hands down your body until settling on your ass. After a minute or two he pulled back breathing hard.

"We can't, you're too drunk," he said and you pouted.

"In the morning?" You asked with a hopeful look in your eyes. He nodded before dragging you to his bed to get some sleep.

[starrysharks]

these questions are pretty similar so i'll answer both at once.

to buy from a chinese indie brand, you need two things: the brand's taobao link and a proxy site account. taobao is a chinese storefront (?) that most of these stores are hosted on. there are plenty of western stores online that also carry taobao brand clothing - like arcana archive, glitch cupids, and pixie rebels - but i would recommend just getting your stuff from a proxy as those stores often up the prices of the clothes.

note that it can be a bit of a struggle to get the taobao link of a store, especially if you don't have an account (which is notoriously difficult to get these days), but i did find some link lists! (mostly lolita stuff as that's what taobao is most popular for among alt fashionistas ^_^)

some other brands that i recommend -

eyeelike - y2k inspired, though their stock is usually very limited. sizes up to UK 10-12 (L) i believe

link (lemme know if it's broken):

frufru - bright, colorful, sorta harajuku-esque! i heavily recommend their star messenger bags, been wanting to get one of my own for a while ^_^

link

and hbreaker - a more visual kei sort of thing! more edgy than the other two stores, but i'm yet to check it out properly

link

so, now that you have the link, you need a proxy site. this is so that you can send the clothes over from china to your own country. in the past, i would've recommended pandabuy, but it died a few months ago due to illegal replica selling. for that, i'd recommend avoiding proxies that allow replicas, because they might go under while you're trying to get clothes shipped. (that happened to me T_T)

some that are reliable are:

sugargoo

superbuy

spreenow

now all you do is use the search bar (make sure it's on the "shop" mode rather than "product"), and plug in the link to the shop you want to buy from, and it should be the first result. get all your clothes, and now all you have to do is have them shipped out! shipping usually costs a lot (£20+ from my experience) and if you're buying a haul, it can be over £200 for just 4-6 items, so i'd recommend only buying stuff you KNOW you're going to wear often and enjoy. shipping should only take 2-3 weeks (at least in my experience - i live in the UK, it might take more time in the US.) and boom! now you can dress like those cool girls on xiaohongshu!

there are also two western stores i'd like to go over that have similar clothes - sixth dimension and minga london.

sixth dimension has many good qualities - they have more inclusive sizing (up to UK XL), reasonable prices based on their quality, and they restock and do sales often. i heavily recommend them if you can't afford the high shipping prices or if the sizing is too limited for you!

unfortunately, i have less nice things to say about minga london. they're highly extortionate in terms of pricing - i've seen shein quality cardigans sold for upwards of £70, for example. they do drops often, and have been accused of fast fashion but i'm not sure if that's legit or not. they've also stolen designs in the past. however, they do have inclusive sizing, up to XXXL. i'd recommend only buying from them if they're doing a sale, or if you literally have no other choice.

now regarding fruits mag - unfortunately, you can't buy from them. fruits mag is a japanese magazine that went over a variety of different street styles, so if you want to buy from fruits, you'd have to buy from the brands that the people in the magazines are wearing. as fruits was most popular in the 2000s, most of those brands are defunct...however, i do have some recommendations for japanese alternative brands!

alice and the pirates - popular lolita fashion. pretty good sizing i think, and they do worldwide shipping too iirc.

baby the stars shine bright - same as aatp, but more "cutesy".

acdc rag - yami kawaii type clothes with inclusive sizing.

dearmylove - jirai kei/dark girly clothing and beautiful shoes. inclusive sizing, i'm pretty sure they have a full plus size range! also collabed with needy streamer overdose lol

liz lisa - lolita/mori kei/girly styles and pretty coats. quite expensive tho...

moi-meme-moitie - the brand of malice mizer's guitarist mana-sama! gothic lolita. i'm not sure about sizing or prices.

6%dokidoki - yume kawaii and decora style. very colorful! i'm not sure about sizing.

angel blue - japanese kids clothing, usually worn in general kawaii and jojifuku styles. as it's for kids, the sizing is NOT inclusive at all, UK size S-M at the most from what i've seen. usually you can only find resellers on depop, but the pricing usually isn't horrible.

other than brands, i'd recommend looking for clothes thrifting on and offline (hit big city thrift stores for better chances of alt clothing), buying accessories from verified etsy sellers, and just looking around the house for anything you can turn into an accessory or part of an outfit! i hope this post helps you though!

[seventeenpins]

violet pairing: older qz!joel x f!reader

word count: 5.8k

summary: follow-up to forget-me-not. it's been seven years since you last saw joel in the boston qz, and a lot has changed. you find yourselves reunited in jackson.

warnings: smut, actually contains a lot of plot (sorry), tommy, maria & ellie all exist, allusions to/discussion of abortion, reader has a kid, joel is insecure about being an old man (you're only 63, it's ok buddy), reader is mid-thirties to early 40s, lil bit of daddy kink, face sitting, multiple orgasms.

a/n: okay first -- header or no header? like, it's a bit ridiculous but i also kinda love it? instead of packing up for a move, i've been writing this 🤷 thanks for all the continued love on my fics, it's so sweet and means a whole lot. working on a few other stories, and i hope to have more out soon!

this chapter is dedicated to the dumbass at the club who didn't quite manage to ruin a first date i was on by asking us what we thought about gay rights (as two fem-perceived folks caught smoochin) and then telling us "you're clearly so in love, i respect that" before yeeting off in the moonlight.

you could have sworn the terrain had been totally empty only moments before, but now in the blink of an eye, you’re surrounded by a small group of riders, armed, their horses huffing down at you. 

“shit,” you gasp, trying to shield your girl, but realising there was little use. can’t put your body in front of hers when there’s people on every side of you. instead, your hands grip tighter on the shoulders of your daughter and you take a breath, trying to steady your breathing.

“you been near infected?” a man calls down at you, and his accent reminds you of joel, so much so that your heart flutters for a moment at the memory. you’ve met lots of people on your travels, a few of them from austin, too, and every time you think of him.

“no,” you call back, “last we saw them was back in the dakotas and there weren’t many there. that was weeks ago, haven’t encountered any since.”

the man nods, and you’re not sure what he’s thinking under his stetson, but the fact you’re not shot yet seems like a good sign. hopefully.

"frankly, we've had much more trouble from people than from infected on our way. but we've been able to take care of ourselves," you say, and you're hoping your words have an underlying edge of danger, but you're pretty sure you just come off as scared and defensive.

the man nods, and looks you up and down. “well, we've gotta make sure,” he says, almost apologetic, and you tense. it takes a moment before you see the dog, but then a dark blur comes bounding towards you, snarling. You tense and pull your girl close, but after a few moments of incredibly stressful sniffing, the dog leaves you alone and trods back to his owner, panting happily.

“good,” the man says, “now we've got that cleared up, what’s your business here?”

it's a good fuckin question, but not one you have a direct answer to.

"we came from boston," you tell him, "it was okay for a while, but the qz changed--got worse. more bombings. more hangings. if it was just me i might have stayed put, but i have my daughter."

there's so much you could say, but you're pretty sure you're advocating for your own life right now, so you keep it short and simple.

"we're just trying to find... somewhere better. travelling through all the places i've ever known people, to see if there's somewhere safe out there at all."

he nods, and the group surrounding you seems to back down a little.

"come with us. i think we might have what you're looking for," he tells you, and then one rider jumps down from their horse, mounts another, and the first man helps you and your daughter onto the vacated horse.

you follow the group, cantering along, and the man keeps an eye on you, and a woman in the group rides up next to you.

"so, you're from the boston qz? that's quite a journey," the man says, and nods his head towards the young woman, "she and i both travelled here from boston, years ago. i left back in, oof, '13? remind me, when did you leave?"

the woman nods, "left when i was fourteen, in '23."

"oh wow," you say, "i honestly didn't expect to meet anyone from boston round here"

there's a pause.

"what did you say your name was?" he asks, and you tell him.

"and this is violet," you say, giving your daughter's shoulder a squeeze, and she nestles back into your chest, ever shy around strangers.

"nice to meet you both," the woman grins, "i'm ellie"

"and i'm tommy," the man says. you're sure it's just a weird coincidence, a common name, just cos he happens to share the same name as joel's brother it doesn't mean anything, but you can't help but ask-

"this is probably silly, but you're not tommy miller are you?"

both tommy and ellie halt, so you do to, as they communicate something through quick glances and furrowed brows.

"wait," you say, "are you? tommy miller?"

he stares you down, and all of a sudden, you see it in his eyes. joel's eyes. violet's eyes.

"i-" your heart is pounding now with the realisation, "i knew your brother. i knew joel. he was a-" you hesitate for only a split second, "friend."

"well shit," tommy says. he caught the hesitation when you landed on friend, and he's looking at you, brows furrowed. "when was the last time you saw him?"

you shrug. "guess it was seven years ago." you look at your daughter, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, and then back up at tommy. "it was when he'd stopped hearing from you, actually. he came out to find you. did... did he find you?"

tommy doesn't answer, his eyes widening, and you can see him put the pieces together as he looks at you and then at your daughter, to you, and to her again.

"how old did you say she was?" he nods at violet but keeps his gaze fixed on you.

"i didn't."

"humor me."

"she's six."

"huh," he says, and ellie's looking between you two now and you can see realisation dawning on her, too.

"wait a second--holy shit," ellie cackles, "joel's gonna lose his fuckin' mind."

a sudden flare of panic and excitement floods through you. "wait, you know him too? he's nearby? i'm sorry- he lives around here? he made it?"

ellie snorts and tommy lets out a noise that's almost like a cross between a deep exhale and a strangled moan.

"yep, he lives in town. made it here with ellie a few years back. been living here a while now."

you don't know if you're thrilled or terrified. to be honest, your brain suddenly feels like it's filled to the brim with bees that were muffling out any thought more complex than AAAAHHHHHHHH.. you'd always hoped you might see joel again, but it wasn't till now you realised you never really believed you would.

he's alive. he actually made it.

as if sensing your racing thoughts, tommy pulls up beside you and claps a strong hand on your shoulder.

"one step at a time, sweetheart. seems like y'all have a whole lotta catchin' up to do."

after you're brought through the gate and finish up at the dining hall for a bite to eat, tommy and ellie take you both on a tour of jackson. you'd seen lots of things in the time you'd travelled, but this is the first real community you'd seen. it made you think of the old days, or rather, your ideas of the old days. you were too young when the world ended, but the idea of people living together and supporting one another without bombs going off on street corners and scheduled hangings was something else.

"we've been workin' on makin' a functioning society here. we get energy from the dam, so actual, non-fedra electricity." tommy points along the main street at the street lighting (actual street lighting!!)

"most of the shops are along here," he continues, pointing out each place as he lists them off, "necessities, like a cobbler and a tailor over in that space. greenhouses and farms over in that direction as well as a clinic. we've got a bar, a couple o' bakeries, house of worship, stables back that way- couple fellas opening a barbershop in that space over there pretty soon. and, of course, the residential area just down here. we've got a lotta houses, and we're working on refurbishing a whole lot, too. most families have their own homes. you're welcome to take some time to decide if you would like to stay here, but y'all seem like decent people and at the very least, we can put you up in some of our temporary housing 'til we have a better grasp on what you need. we got families of all configurations here. we did that a whole lot better after the world ended. and this is a home for a lotta people."

"oh-!" ellie says, suddenly excited, "and the school's over there, if you guys wanna stay. fedra school fucking sucked but this one was actually pretty cool. we actually got to learn stuff!"

violet giggles a little, and ellie shoots her a bright smile that makes her giggle little more. it feels safe here. you don't remember the last time things have felt safe. you're trying to take it all in, memorise every storefront, every person, every moment, when the aroma of fresh-baked pastries suddenly assaults your nostrils and you let out an involuntary moan.

"been a while, huh?" ellie asks and snorts, and you nod. "i grew up in the qz so i never had one of these till the shop opened up a couple years ago. but i hear it's just like the old days!"

"mama, it smells really good," violet says, and it's the first thing she's said since you've come through the gates.

"it does, doesn't it?" you ask her, "and look at all these shops. see those clothes in the window there?"

her eyes are as wide as saucers, and you're so overwhelmed with joy that she gets to experience this that you don't notice ellie bounding up the steps to the bakery and running back a minute later with a paper wrapped something in hand.

she holds it out to you and you take it from her gingerly. you kneel down to let violet unwrap the paper and inside is a perfect strawberry danish. you're stunned.

"that's cream cheese and butter from our cows," tommy tells you, "strawberries and wheat grown here, too. all fresh. all cordyceps free. we don't risk using any of the old stuff that might be contaminated"

that's amazing. that's fucking amazing.

"here, baby," you tear off a piece for violet, and she clutches it carefully and sniffs at it warily before popping it into her mouth, chewing with furrowed brows, and breaking out into a grin.

"welcome to jackson," ellie says, and now you're laughing too.

by the evening, tommy's given you a tour of the whole settlement and left you, ellie, and violet at the tipsy bison with an invitation to join him and his family for dinner. there was a strong likelihood that joel would be there and you were shitting bricks.

what if he's totally different from how you remember him? what if he isn't?

what if he wants nothing to do with you? what if he wants nothing to do with violet?

what if he's forgotten you?

you pinch yourself to pull out of your spiral. ellie winks at violet, who's sipping at her juice, and clinks her glass against yours. together, you take large swigs of your beer.

she tells you a bit about herself. she's vague about how she and joel met, and you're not sure if it's because she doesn't want to talk about it or if she's trying to spare the gory details around violet, but she speaks of him fondly and blushed a little when she mentioned i've kinda become, like, a surrogate daughter to him. and he's my old man.

before you could gather your thoughts and ask any follow-ups, she's already blowing through different topics, grinning as she tells you about her girlfriend, about her tattoo and how she wants another one, about her favorite horse, and the way patrols worked around here, and you relax into the conversation. into the peace. into taking a break.

before you know it, the three of you are walking towards tommy's house and right as you're about to knock at the door, ellie barrels past and swings the door open with a bellowed "we're here!" reverberating off the walls.

as you step through the door, delicious food smells waft through the hallway and you hear laughter and music coming from the kitchen. ellie makes a beeline through the door on your right and you take it all in for a moment.

"you coming?" ellie calls, and you follow her.

and stop dead in your tracks.

illuminated in the light of an antique shaded lamp, sat on a rocking chair, was joel.

he's greyer and more tired, but he also looks- happy? and he's got reading glasses on as he peers at what looks to be a picture book as he points out the illustrations to the kid on his lap. your jaw drops.

the kid's probably around the same age as violet.

ellie is stood in the corner of the room, half-heartedly pretending to examine a bookshelf while she blatantly eavesdrops.

joel looks up and smiles in a way that you've only seen a few times before. it's... unguarded. he extends a hand, "hi there, you must be our guests, i'm jo-"

and then recognition flickers over his face and he stops. stares at you, wide eyed, and then his eyes flick over to violet, and back to you.

"hi joel," you say.

if you're honest, you're expecting him to be the asshole you remember. grouchy. closed off. sweet only in private, intimate, brief moments.

what you don't expect is for him to gently call over to ellie with a "we need a minute here, could you take your cousin and see if tommy and maria need a hand?"

cousin, he'd said, and you can feel your heart slow down a notch, calming down a little. oof. one step at a time, you remind yourself, one step at a time.

"sure thing," ellie nods and helps the kid down from joel's lap, holding his hand as they walk through to the kitchen.

you're stood, frozen, as joel takes off his readers, rubs his eyes, and stands up. you've forgotten how imposing he can be, but even now, he just feels like a big shield between you and the rest of the world. you stare at each other for just a moment, and then strong arms are wrapping around you and joel is laughing?

"fuck," he snorts, "i can't believe it's you. after all this time!"

he pulls back but keeps his hands on your shoulders, looking you up and down, studying you.

and then he looks back down at violet and you see his face contort from joy to something almost like fear. maybe dread, even? or anticipation.

"mama, who is this man?" violet asks, tugging at your sleeve, and you kneel down to her.

you meet eyes with joel one more time before answering her, and you see building panic behind them.

this was, admittedly, a lot. one step at a time. "his name is joel, he was a friend of mine. i knew him before you were born!"

violet extends her little hand out towards joel. "my name is violet, it's a kind of flower. i like your hair. it's sooo silvery."

you snort involuntarily, and joel gulps audibly, wide-eyed, before taking her small hand in his large palm, cradling it as if holding something precious, and shakes it. "i'm joel. it's nice to meet you."

you all have dinner and it's actually a pretty good time, as long as you don't make too much eye contact with joel, who looks as though he has an electric current running through him, keeping him wide eyed and twitchy. he's clearly trying to appear unfazed, but he's jumpy and not at all subtle, to the point that the kid who'd been on joel's lap earlier, rowan you'd learned, prods at joel at one point in the meal. joel jumps a mile and rowan furrows his brow asking why are you being so weird, uncle joel?

despite the tension, it's so domestic. this was a joel who folded his napkin on his lap before starting to eat, who minded his manners, and obviously pressed ellie to mind hers, too. the joel you patched up when he came to you bloodied and bruised felt like a shadow long since past.

after dinner, when you've made it through unscathed, tommy's watching the little ones as they conk out on the couch. maria's going over paperwork, and ellie's tuning a guitar.

joel pops his head into the room and makes a vague gesture indicating outside. "wanna chat on the porch?" he asks, and you nod and follow him.

there are a pair of handsome adirondack chairs and you each take a seat. you don't say anything, don't even look at one another. you just sit there in comfortable silence.

but then joel takes a deep breath and you know the question that's coming.

"violet?" he asks, "is she mine?"

you smile sadly.

"yeah," you say, "you're her daddy."

he chokes out a strangled noise and tries to cover it with a cough, badly.

he doesn't seem like he's gonna say anything, and you reckon he's not gonna, so you try and breeze past it.

"i know- i know it wasn't part of the plan." you exhale, "but it's okay, joel. she's only known one parent her whole life and it's common enough these days that she doesn't think it's strange. and i don't know if you ever want her to know that you're her dad, but i'm not ready for her to know. i'll tell her, but i want her to settle in here before any big life revelations come up for her. jackson's enough of a change as it is."

he nods slowly, coughs out a low "i understand. and i respect it. i just never thought-"

"neither did i," you cut him off, "and when i realized i was pregnant i didn't intend to keep it, but fedra had raided the last underground clinics that i knew about. most of the staff got hanged, and i was out of options."

he lets out a sharp exhale.

you're silent for another minute before joel speaks again.

"i'm sorry-" he says, "i'm sorry that your choice was taken from you. and i'm so sorry i wasn't there for you."

he still doesn't look at you, but he rests a hand on your knee.

"i can't believe- all this time and i have another daughter and i had no idea."

"she's such a cool kid," you tell him, "and don't get me wrong, i felt like the worst person in the world, bringing a kid into that fuckin'- fedra plague world," you admit, "but she's so funny, shy when you first meet her, but she has so much personality. every day, she's more and more of a tiny person! and she's just started doing this thing where i'll tell her something and she'll just scowl at me and she looks just like you-"

"hey, i don't scowl that much-" joel argues, scowling, and there's the joel you remember. all of a sudden you're hysterical with laughter, and then joel cracks too and he's laughing with you.

after a while, you fall into another comfortable silence. it gets later and later, and then joel's standing up and offering you a hand.

"'fraid i've got patrol in the morning, so i'd best be going to bed soon, and i'm guessing y'all are exhausted?"

you nod, feeling as if acknowledgement of it suddenly made it true. good god you were tired.

"you know what house you're staying in tonight?" he asked, and you tell him the number.

"sounds good," he nods, "can i walk ya home?"

"sure," you smile.

you head back inside, scoop up violet, and then the three of you are heading towards your temporary lodgings.

when you arrive, joel bids you goodnight at your doorstep and bobs his head a little as though he was about to lean in to kiss your cheek but then thought better of it, and instead takes your hand for a moment and mutters without looking directly at you, "it's really great to see you, baby. glad you made it here safe."

you go to bed. an actual bed, mind you.

you dreamed of joel miller.

you'd pretty much decided you and violet would stay here in jackson from the first minute you walked down the main street, but you gave it a few days before letting the council know. this is what you've been looking for, though. a home. a community. safety.

violet starts going to school. she's in the same year as rowan and apparently thrilled about it, so you're at tommy and maria's home more often than you'd imagined. you start patrolling, too. just short routes to begin with, but you didn't make it through this much without knowing how to survive, and you're good at it.

and then there's joel.

he's different.

he's aged, but he still looks great. the salt and pepper of his hair has turned more salt than pepper, and the crinkles by his eyes are deeper. you're still attracted to him, so attracted to him, but you don't wanna make any rash decisions. he seems lighter, clearly taken by ellie, and cautiously friendly towards you and violet.

he's made it clear he'd like to get to know her, but is happy to take his time, waiting until you're more comfortable with it. which is so beautifully, frustratingly thoughtful.

you never expected that cold, angry joel could be so warm and open, but he seems like such a doting family man, keeping an eye out for ellie, always there for tommy, being a good uncle for rowan. there was clearly some tension between him and his sister-in-law, too, but one evening you walked in on them doing dishes together, singing along to some old dolly parton cd. you slipped out the door before either of them saw you'd seen.

one night, violet and rowan are having a sleepover, supervised by tommy, and you have a rare night to yourself. you make your way over to the tipsy bison and relax at the bar, letting the whiskey warm you.

you chat with the bartender, and decide to put a song on the jukebox, but as you get up from your stool you knock the whiskey bottle over and watch tumble seemingly in slow motion before being caught by- "joel?"

"easy now," joel smiles, "don't want a repeat of last time."

it takes you aback for a moment, and then your face is burning with the memory.

"can't believe you remember that," you say, and he snorts.

"course i do. that was the last night i saw you."

he pulls out a stool and sits down next to you. gestures at the bartender for a glass, and pours himself a healthy finger of whiskey.

"how do you remember that night going?" you ask.

joel scratches at his cheek for a moment, pondering, and smiles, sipping his whiskey. "i was gonna be leavin' town, and i wanted to say goodbye so i checked out all your usual spots. walked in to see you smash a bottle and then try and flirt your way out of it with that weedy little bartender."

"i remember that bit, too," you say, "though on my end, i'll remind you, i was drinking because i was preemptively missing you and didn't realise you were leaving so soon."

"i do remember you saying that," joel nods, "and i was so mad because i'd spent so much time that night trying to find you, and that was time we wouldn't get back."

your eyes widen at his words. you didn't know this part. suddenly, you feel a warmth rising in you that you hadn't expected.

"do you remember what happened next?" he asks.

you nod. "yeah, you yelled at me a little, implied i was a whore, yelled at me more, and then told me you were leaving in the morning."

"jesus, i'm an asshole," joel says, and you smile.

"yeah, you are. neither of us were at our best though. but then we had one last night."

"one last night," he echoes.

neither of you say anything for a minute, and then joel breaks the silence.

"i'd be lying if i said i hadn't replayed that night over and over again in my head."

you smile. "me too," you admit, "it's honestly been a while since i've been with anyone, and when it's just me and my hand, that night's the first thing that i think of."

joel inadvertently chokes and splutters, dabbing at his mouth as he tries to collect himself. he's flushed a beautiful shade of pink and it makes you giggle.

"shit, girl, i forgot how blunt you can be."

"i think this might be the first wholly honest conversation we've had since i got to town," you ponder, still smiling, "we're always dancing around each other. in orbit but never colliding."

he looks at you with a curious expression on his face, like he's enjoying the task of trying to parse you almost as much as he's seeking an understanding.

you pour yourself another glass of whiskey and knock it back in one. you're gathering your courage. you're plotting plots now, and sure it's been a long time, but you figure it's worth a shot.

"i've been thinking, joel," you tell him, and his eyes are so focused on you, "i wanna say up front i don't have any expectations, and i won't be offended if you'd rather not-"

he raises an eyebrow at you and you could swear you see flirtation behind it.

"but, if you wanted-"

"spit it out"

"that last night doesn't have to be the last night."

your eyes are locked and don't speak, don't move, don't breathe.

and then joel miller's lips are crashing into yours, and you moan into him, one hand clutching at your shoulders, the other cupping your chin, and you melt into it.

"my place," you tell him, "violet's with her cousin tonight."

you realise that's the first time you said those words like that, so casual and normal, and you know you'll need to unpack that later but joel, shockingly, takes it in stride.

before you know it, you're walking up the porch steps with joel right on your heels and unlocking the front door.

you've barely gotten the door open before you're on the other side of it and it's slamming shut, joel pressing you against the threshold and kissing you deeply. one of his thighs presses between your legs and without thinking you rub up against it.

"shit, i've missed you baby," he says, and you're moaning against him as he helps you pull off your shirt, and you start to unbutton his. he continues, bashful, "didn't think you'd want an old man like me, anymore."

you scoff, "you've aged well, joel, and more than that, you've aged. you're still here and i can't even begin to tell you how much that means."

you tug the flannel from his shoulders, letting it drop to the floor behind him before you pull off his undershirt.

"besides," you tell him, "you're the best lay i've ever had and i don't believe for a minute you've lost your touch."

he snorts, but then he's kissing on your neck again and you know you'll need to talk about things properly at some point. for now, though, you'll get lost in the feeling of him.

you're lost in the dizzy haze of touch. joel's hands are all over you, grabbing, stroking, caressing. you stumble to your bedroom, stepping out of your jeans and helping him shuck off his pants along the way. then he's laid out on your bed, bare except for his boxer shorts, chest heaving and cock straining.

you yank off your panties and climb on top of him, straddling him so your bare pussy rubs up against his hardness. he groans and grabs you by the hips, rocking you up and down his length.

"feel so good, baby," he breathes, and his eyes are fluttering closed in pleasure. "come here," he tells you, and he pulls you down for a kiss.

you take him in. look at his body. his chest hair has greyed, and he's got more scars than you remember including a nasty-looking one that must've been a close call. you run a thumb over the one on the side of his chest, still pearly but less pink these days, from the time you patched him up.

joel watches you watch him. "i never thanked you properly for that, sweetheart," he says, "but thank you. you saved my ass that night."

"of course," you tell him, as you dip down and lick a stripe up from his happy trail, all the way to his throat.

"fuck," he whines, and you shut him up with a kiss.

when you finally break, he strokes your cheek. "sit on my face," he tells you, and you don't need him to ask you twice.

you hobble up on your knees and then rest your cunt on his open mouth. he lets out a strangled moan and hmmms into you, the vibrations hitting your clit deliciously, before grabbing onto your hips and eating you like a man starved.

his clever tongue finds your aching clit and flicks against it, hard. once you're nearly overstimulated, he senses it and starts to lick long strokes, back and forth, dipping into your drooling pussy with each pass.

it's heavenly. addictive. you've hooked with old flames before, years after you'd slept with them last, and not only does joel not disappoint? he blows your fucking mind.

you come on his tongue and instead of pulling away, he pulls you closer. licks you deep. takes a breath and tells you "one more, baby, gimme another one."

you do, using his face to get yourself off, taking your time to build back up, rocking your hips over him, his nose covered with your slick, his cheeks, lips, and chin glistening so pretty when you finally shudder and spasm all over him.

"taste so good, baby," he tells you, "i wanna make you come on my tongue all night long."

"as much as i'd love that," you say, "i need that cock in me right fucking now. it's been seven years, joel."

he smirks, but doesn't need persuading.

he flips you over and presses his cock head at your entrance. before he slides in, though, he takes a moment to look you over.

you know you look older, and your hair has a few grey strands throughout. you've got more wrinkles, and stretch marks, and more than a few new scars.

before you can second-guess yourself, though, joel is stroking a hand along all of your perceived imperfections, adoring.

"so fuckin' beautiful", he whispers, "after all this time- i can't believe-"

you let your hand lace through the hair at his nape and give it a gentle tug. he closes his eyes, focusing only on the sensation, before opening them again. looking directly at you.

you're already so wet and worked up, he slides into you easily in one stroke, making you both gasp, and he just rests there for a moment, fully sheathed in you.

you clutch one another as he starts to thrust into you, pressing you open in a delicious stretch.

he fucks into you and then pauses and readjusts. moves your legs so they're on his shoulders, rather than wrapped round his waist. then he presses into you again, tentative, and your eyes practically roll back. it's the deepest thing you've felt.

"takin' me so good," he praises, "i feel how wet and ready you are, you've been needing this a while, huh?"

you can barely speak, only enough to breath out a whiny uh-huh that makes him chuckle.

"touch me", you beg, and he does, rubbing his thumbs over your nipples, gripping your waist, your hips. he grabs at your ass and jiggles it before giving it a swat that makes you giggle, but he looks positively feral.

"this fuckin' body," he groans, and you squeak as you take a particularly deep thrust and he eases up just a little.

you reach up to grab his jaw and kiss him, and he kisses you back, deep and lovely. you drag your tongue along his jawline and pepper kisses down his neck, trace your fingertips along his pearlescent scars.

"god, joel," you moan, "so fuckin big, you feel so good."

"you even feel better than i remember, too."

"don't you dare stop, don't you dare stop fucking me-"

"never, baby. wanna have you like this always."

you can feel your eyes fill with tears, overwhelmed with the sensation, with the tenderness and the care and the big cock fucking deep into you, it's all so good.

"yes baby," he grunts, "keep it open for me, good girl, letting me fuck you so nice."

you can see how his eyes are glittering and know he's emotional, too. he's staring at you with reverential awe that might embarrass you if it didn't feel so right. this isn't the rough, hair pulling, choking, biting sex you remember from him. he presses a hand over your belly and rubs gentle circles against it. his touch is electric.

"can't believe you made it," joel whispers, "made it all the way here, and you still want me. we've got a kid, and i left you all alone, and you still want me."

"always, joel," you tell him, and you realise it's the truth. whatever life you make for yourself, you want joel miller in it.

he lets out a growl and starts fucking you harder, deeper.

your orgasm builds quickly and soon you're clutching at his shoulder, leaving half moon crescents in his skin where your nails dig in, holding on for dear life.

"i'm gonna come," you tell him, and he holds you through it, his pace steady as your walls clench around his cock.

his hips begin to stutter as he loses his rhythm, nearing his own climax. he chokes out, "where do you want it?"

"my chest," you say, "come all over my tits."

he pulls out and strokes himself twice before spilling out on your chest, his cum landing on you in hot ropes.

after you catch your breath, he gently cleans you up and then pulls you into the crook of his arm, holding you close. you lay there together, just breathing.

"so gorgeous, momma," he says.

"not too bad yourself, daddy," you tell him, and he snorts.

you know you have a lot of things to talk about. the past seven years. the future. loss and love. violet getting to know her father.

for now, though, joel miller is in your bed and you're going to cherish every minute of it. it's more than enough.

[felice-jaganshi]

My Fallen Apple

Lucifer X Reader

Chapter 3

It's been a week, and you've been texting Lucifer every day since you left. You sometimes send him selfies with your friends or new places around heaven, and he does the same, sort of introducing you to the seven sins and the other rings through the pictures. It's a great time, really!

But now comes the hard part. You told your friends you had a “secret date” with someone and refused to say who. You also told them not to worry if you didn't answer anything till the next morning, as that just meant the date went really good.  

You made your way to where Adam had shoved you off before. You thankfully had managed to avoid him for the week. He was apparently “very busy” with higher angel stuff, not that you cared.

 

You took a deep breath, making sure your phone and backpack were secure before taking the leap!

You were free falling for a majority of the fall, pulling out your wings only when the castle was in sight. But before you could get too close something like a white missile came zooming up to meet you!

 

“You came! You really came back!” It was Lucifer, he'd come up to meet you halfway. He looked stunning, his wings out and on display. You can't help staring.

 

“wow… I've never seen someone with six wings before! Everyone I know has two or four.” He chuckled and danced around you in the air, showing off.

“Well, I am the strongest angel ever created by the OG big man himself.” You giggle at his antics, he was such a charmer. Suddenly you find yourself scooped into his arms, “come on, I got something really cool to show you!” 

You tuck in your wings and let him carry you around. He opened a portal and flew through. “Now, normally human souls can't go to the other rings, but since I'm literally the king , I can get you special exceptions to go anywhere at all, as long as you're with me.” 

He smiled, it had a smugness to it. Pride. But it was different from when Adam was being prideful and showing off, this time it was endearing and charming. Rather than obnoxious and irritating.

 

Next thing you knew, he was landing in front of a fancy restaurant. “A good friend of mine runs the place. I booked us a reservation.” As you entered there was sensual music playing and demons everywhere. But really, they didn't look that much different from angels. Other than a darker color palette on average.

As you were seated, almost immediately a giant demon made mostly of blue fire rushed over to your table! 

 

“Luci, baby! Oh it's been so long since you dined at my place!” He scooped the king up in his arms and squished him to his chest, rocking back and forth and looking so happy!

 

“Oh come on Ozzy! Has it really been that long?!” He laughed, and hugged back. Ozzy frowned and set him back down.

 

“Yes. Ever since you and She had a fight here, you haven't been back. That was 30 years ago, luci.” You hide behind the menu while this back and forth occurs. Another demon suddenly comes up behind you and grabs your chair, leaning over you and looking upside down! You drop the menu and try not to scream from surprise.

 

“And who's this little cutie? Is she the one who finally got you to leave pride and visit all of us?” His voice was raspy and he looked like a clown. 

 

“Hi… I'm-” before you can say your name, he turns your chair, making you spin round in circles for a bit. 

 

Lucifer smiled, “yeah she is, my new best friend.”

 

Ozzy gasped, “new best friend? Am I being replaced?!”

 

“Hey hey, no! Buddy! You're my brother, all, well, 5 of you are my family! I love you guys! She's just the newest addition to that family. That's all.” He then smiled at you. You were so dizzy you could hardly hold his gaze. “Yo Fizz, I think you overdid it.”

 

Fizzarolli looked you over, “oops. Sorry babe, you alright? No hurling on me now.” He made his way back to Ozzy's shoulders.

 

“I'll… be fine. Just gimme a second.” You take a few seconds to reorient yourself and take a sip of water before smiling at him. “All good.” He smiled back at you.

 

“Good, I hope this isn't too much for you. This is only your second time hanging out with me.”

 

“Hm, only second time and you brought her to my place? Luci, you certainly do move fast! And I thought I was the master of lust~.” He teased Lucifer, then went to your side. “Thanks for getting him out of the house sweetheart, we owe you a big one.” His voice was really sweet and he placed a warm hand in the middle of your shoulders. 

 

“It's been a pleasure to know him. Did you say you're the master of lust? Would that make you…”

 

“Asmodeus, the sin of lust, at your service baby girl.” He winked. “Would you like any recommendations for dinner? I can tell you all of Luci's favorites.”

 

“Oh, sure.” You were a little nervous now. “I'm not used to being anywhere this fancy. I feel like I'm underdressed for this kind of place…” 

 

“Oh honey, don't worry about that. You're literally here with a king. You can get away with anything when you're with him .” 

_______

 

After dinner, Lucifer took you back to his castle and you looked at more duckies together.

When he turned his back, an impulse came to mind. Hide in the pile of ducks. And well, why the hell not?

 

“Oh and this one- Becca? Hello?” He looked around and didn't see you. He then heard a squeak from your pile as you accidentally squish a duck. He grins, his voice going low, “oh my, looks like i got a rogue angel to hunt down.” He then chuckled and you felt butterflies in your gut. Oh no, why was that hot?!

The next thing you know, he's diving into the pile of ducks! He quickly finds you and you're now pinned beneath him, “So, what was the plan from here? Wait for me to leave so you can run around my palace unsupervised?” He smiled like the cat that caught the canary and tilted his head to the side.

 

“Um… there wasn't really a plan. Just sounded like a fun thing to do.” You were blushing and nervous, you placed your hands on his shoulders, not sure if he'd try to make a move or not. Would you even be upset if he did? He seems to suddenly become aware of your positions as you touch him. He pulls back quickly!

 

“Oh, whoops! Sorry Becca, didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.” He adjusted his tie nervously, standing up. You get up as well.

 

“I'm not uncomfortable Luci. But, if you wanted today to be a date, you should have said so. I would have dressed nicer.” He looks shocked by your words, a blush forming on his cheeks.

 

“No no no no!” He waves his hands dramatically before pointing to his ring. “I- I just wanted you to meet my friends! I'm totally married!” He was panicking now.

 

“But your wife has been missing for seven years?” You have to ask, “Did she take your daughter with her?” He sighed and shook his head.

 

“No, Charlie is an adult doing her own thing, that's all. And lilith… She and I… I don't know anymore. She promised me forever, and I want to believe this is just a rough patch and we'll get through it but… she hasn't even spoken to Charlie all this time either…” He looked more upset by that than her leaving him.” 

You give him another hug, “mind if I stayed the night? I brought a change of clothes and a toothbrush. I wanna spend more time with you.” He hugs back.

 

“Yeah, I have a guest room you can stay in.”

[sirenmoth]

Winter Nights

Kyle 'Gaz' Garricks x GN!Reader

synopsis: as the snow falls, gaz decides a walk outside is great idea

domestic fluff, fluff, gaz being cute, icky cute couple stuff, romantic dates, snow fight, snow fights

Sitting on the sofa, mindlessly reading a book you bought a few weeks back from a small bookshop you found while mindlessly wondering around the airport terminal as you waited to pick Kyle up. You were already a chapter or two in, but so far heavily invested in the story that you found it difficult to put the novel down. Kyle stood in the open end kitchen that linked directly to the living room, watching you as you read, curled up into a ball with a blanket over your legs, eyes scanning over the words feverishly. Staring at you with hearts in his eyes, taking in the scene while the kettle continued to boil.

You both bought this place a year or so ago when you agreed to take a step further into the relationship, it was an open floor plan, kitchen and living room linking directly into each other, the single bedroom at the far end had a balcony which Kyle loved to put his plants on during the summer to give them fresh sunlight, you were in charge of them when he was away, he called them his ‘children’ and his ‘pride and joy’, much to your dismay since it was you who made sure they got enough sunlight and water. One of the things that sold you on the flat was the windows, they gave a wonderful view of the city below and an even more breathtaking view of the night sky above, even if it was difficult to see the stars thanks to the strenuous lights that polluted the sky above, it was nice to image them glistening down from above, mapping them out in your mind.

The click of the kettle finished boiling brought you both back to reality, turning your head up to look at the man reaching for two mugs, softly smiling at each other as you went back to your individual activities, the quiet clicking of the mugs and teaspoons as Kyle readied your respective hot drinks and bringing them over to the living room, placing them down on the table in front on the sofa. You moved the blanket as an invention for him, which Kyle happily accepted, making a large scene on trying to get comfortable, “Kyle, stop it! You're going to make me lose my page!” you laughed while jokingly making fun of his antics, giggling as he huffed every time he wasn't comfortable.

“Give me a minute, love” Kyle jested back, overexaggerating on rearranging the fluffy throw blanket draped over you both while finding a good position for you both to lay in, “We need to preserve heat, and the best way to do that is by cuddling really close” he responds with a smirk “Can’t have my darling getting cold now” Kyle added, wrapping his arms around your waist, and he snuggled into your side, his back against the back cushions of the sofa, “What’cha reading anyway?” You looked down at him briefly, watching his eyes quickly scan the page you’re on, trying to grasp the plot. Mindlessly you answer “Some book I picked up on the way at the airport while I waited to collect you,” before you can get another word out, Kyle shoots up from his spot, eyes fixated out the window with childish glee, confused you turn your gaze in the same direction and being greeted by the white flurry of snow, dancing around in the wind. 

You don’t think you’ve ever seen someone move that fast, observing as Kyle ran straight for the entrance to the flat, grabbing both your hats, coats, gloves and everything else you might need to go outside right now, walking back he gestures for you to sit up properly while he kneels down, fixing on your shoes, tying your laces and then carefully pulling you up and off the sofa to fix on your coat, and pulling you towards the door, hot drinks and a warm night in already completely forgotten. 

"Excited, are we?" You joke

"I've been in the desert's blistering heat for months now, let me have this."

The streets were relatively deserted at this time of the day, a few people going about their business, walking under the pale yellow lights of the street lights. Both of you, hand in hand as you strolled in your self-made winter wonderland, basking in each other’s warmth and company.  The wind whipped around you, harshly kissing your skin, causing you to shiver from the assault. Kyle being the well-trained soldier he is, picked up on this, stopping you both under a streetlamp as he undid his scarf “you really need to keep warm” he muttered, wrapping the piece of fabric around your neck, bringing a section up and over your mouth and nose “there, nice and warm” Kyle smiled, looking at you before his smiled dropped, shaking his head and removing his gloves. “Seriously, how do you survive without me?” he joked, taking one of your hands and carefully slipping it into his glove before repeating the process with the other one. Smiling once again, Kyle took your hand and continued walking, commenting on how pretty the snow looked in the lights. 

Trying to return at least one of the items of clothing, but he always refused, claiming he was trained to withstand the cold and that he'll be fine. Keeping you warm was his priority.

An hour or so into your spontaneous date walk, you stopped pretending to be amazed at the scenery, looking out at the snow covered trees, but in reality it was a cover to prank your ever-so-loving boyfriend. Making sure he was distracted, you crouched down slowly as to not make any sudden movements, scooped up a handful of snow and formed it into a ball before tucking your hand with the weapon behind your back, you made your way back over to Kyle, nuzzling into his side, looking at him with bright doe eyes as a way to get his guard down, then quickly shoving the handful of snow down his coat before taking a few cautious steps back as you watched him react to your little prank.

 “Fuck!” he cursed as the cold slush hit his skin, spreading all over his back, igniting his nerves in a cold chill across this whole body. Kyle shakes his coat trying to get the snow out, glaring daggers at you as you laugh at your own joke. Smiling playfully, he kneels down to gather a handful of fresh, fallen snow in his hands, “Two can play at this game.” He says, throwing the clump of white frost at you.

It hits your arm as you quickly dodge the attack, you smile back and pick up your own snow missile to throw back, Kyle dodges your throw with ease, laughing at your so called 'weak attempt', only to be silenced as you throw another one, hitting him square in the face. For what feels like hours, you both dodge and weave around each other in both successful and failed attempts to hit the other with the cold flakes that are falling from the sky, picking up clumps of white slush and shaping them into crude ball-like shapes until your hands are numb and cold to the touch, cheeks hurting from smiles as laughter, faces red from the elements. The cold eventually started to seep in, settling against your bones, deciding it was best to head back before either of you got sick, or slipped and fell, like Kyle almost did, even if he claimed that never happened.

Once back in the warmth, Kyle shedded off his jacket, shoes and hat before helping you with yours. He moved quickly, disposing of the long forgotten, now cold, cups as you found some comfy clothes in the closet that'll hopefully help you two of you warm up quicker. Handing Kyle his of clothes after you’ve changed, sending him to change as well as you fixed two new cups of freshly hot tea, walking to the couch and placing the cups down carefully and retaking your position under the blanket, book in hand. Kyle joining you after a few and retaking his place against your side, arms wrapped around your waist and head resting in the crook of your neck, listening to you read aloud, his eyes trained on the snowfall outside, a faint smile on his face as he closes his eyes, your voice and the faint sound of wind lulling him to sleep. 

[soothinglee]

even if my heart stops beating⏤✰

seungmin x reader | 1.6k✔︎

my notes⎯ hello everyone ! I know it's been a while since I've actually wrote something ! I actually got hit by a bus! yeah I had to sue this company called "writers block" and I finally got a settlement! (also happy new year!) I recently (like a week ago) got into Kpop, specifically Stray Kids ! I've read some fan fictions (shameless) about some of my favorites and got inspo to write one! thank you @soobnny . also I haven't wrote anything in a while so i'm a little rusty, i'll be as good as new soon!

warning⎯ mentions of vomit (used as word vomit) and crying.

genre⎯ angst to comfort.✔︎

songs⎯ six feet under; billie eilish | pretty boy; the neighborhood

the old rusted clock that came with the condo you and seungmin bought sits perched on the top of the fridge. Its old, wooden frame slowly caves in on itself as time goes on.

not even an hour or two ago you had happily entered your home to start cooking dinner, not even worrying about showering first because you were so excited to have dinner with your boyfriend.

even going out of your way to spend a hundred dollars over the amount you usually spend to give seungmin the greatest 'welcome home' feast. he and the rest of stray kids had been on tour for the last couple months, traveling all over the world to perform at concerts and do collaborations with other idols to promote their new albums.

sure, it had been lonely, being by yourself all of the time, the only glimpse of your boyfriend you could get is when he could facetime you for 2 minutes or when he responded back to a text 4 hours later. but you understood, you knew what you were getting yourself into even when you started becoming friends with him.

if anything, you were strong, understanding, and flexible to when he couldn't make it to something like a movie night or date when his plane arrives later or practice runs over.

the only thing now, is that he had promised you that he could make it on time to dinner. sending countless 'I swear ill be there' texts and swift calls ensuring his presences at the dinner table during his dance rehearsals.

but now you were sitting at the table alone. a cold jajangmyeon sits in the platter in front of you, a similar on across the table from you. looking up at that old clock the hour turns to 10 and he's officially 2 hours late. it wasn't unknown for him to run a little over his time but this was unbelievable. you curse yourself for being naive and truly thinking he would keep to his word.

as you get up and clean the meal that you created you feel a little piece inside of you break, watching your hard work spill into the leftover containers like your tears. this was embarrassing, waiting around like a puppy in hopes your owner comes home. you were loyal and hopeful to a fault but wasting time and money like this was just unacceptable.

by the time seungmin walked through the front door it was half pass midnight and you had situated yourself infront of the t.v watching a new drama a colleague from work recommended.

"(name)." he calls out, you hear his shoes hit the wall as he takes them off, and then theres a shuffle as he organizes them on the shoe rack. you hear him leave his keys in the bowl on the desk that was by the front door, his footsteps growing louder as he nears the living room.

"(name)." he calls out again, seeing you lay in a cocoon of blankets in the dark, he think maybe you're sleeping so he quietly discards his winter coat on the back of the couch. he flicks on the lamp on the other side of the couch to bring in some light. though when he comes around to sit down he finds your eyes wide open, "why didn't you answer me when I called?"

"why didn't you come on time like you promised?" you quipped back quietly, suddenly too exhausted to have any conversation with him. you try and sink further into the thick blanket as you watch the Netflix symbol load and the next episodes intro plays.

you can't see his face but when he sighs and shifts in his spot you can hear the hesitance, "you already know why, practice ran late, like always."

"whatever."

"'whatever?' what's going on with you?"

"nothing." your tone is snipped but honestly you couldn't care less. somewhere in your soul you feel as though this might be a little extreme of an reaction but there is only so much patience you can give one person. you constantly make time for him and this relationship, so why couldn't he move things around and do the same for you? your eyes remain on the television.

seungmins eyes dart quickly to the t.v and then back to you, noticing that your full attention isn't on him, so he leans over you and goes to grab the remote from your hands. at the sudden loss of contact you make a move to try and get the remote back from him but he effectively powers down the t.v and discards in on the coffee table.

"I'll only repeat myself so many times, what's going on?"

it was like a newfound energy fizzled at your toes and pushed itself up and towards your head, your body springs up from its sideways position and you angle yourself to face seungmin.

though the light was somewhat dim due to only the lamp being on, he could see the red-rim of your eyes and the dried streaks of tears sticking to your cheeks. obviously, it had been evident that you had been crying.

seungmins eyes soften for a moment, he reaches out to try and smooth out the puffiness of your cheeks but as soon as you see his hand coming you push it away, "you were crying?" it comes out more of a statement than a concerned question, but the worry was still evident in his tone.

"duh," you start, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in the tense space, you find comfort in the carpet on the ground. you were feeling...nervous. you didn't want to cause anymore problems but things won't get solved unless they are discussed, which in all honesty, the thought of confrontation in the first place is feared.

you need to get it out, you can't stop living like this. deep down you know he cares but you have to stop going off of assumptions. either he's going to show up or not, it was clear already that you showed up no matter how busy you were.

"do you even still love me?"

the question tumbles from your lips before you could even process what you were saying. maybe it wasn't what you wanted to convey exactly but it was definitely a start.

"what?" his airy voice sounds dumbfounded which makes sense. the intense look you're giving him plus the profound, out-of-the-blue question throws him off guard.

of course he loves you, why would you ever think anything different? "where is this coming from?"

"well it's just that every time we have something planned your work gets in the way. I spend hours and hours getting ready, trying to look my best, just to waste the day sitting on the couch waiting for you to come home. sometimes I'm waiting so long I fall asleep! I put so much effort into being a good girlfriend! hell, I even spent over 100 dollars on dinner tonight because I knew you had a hectic day, it took me two hours to make it just for it to go cold and put into a container,"

your voice chokes up, full of exhaustion and disappointment. you feel the tears pooling in your eyes but have no energy to stop them. you really want to quit the word vomit but there's no point, theres more to be said.

"I try so hard to not get disheartened but it gets so hard when you don't even try. sometimes I feel like you don't even care about this relationship anymore, like you don't care about m-"

just as you were about to finish your words were muffled by hands on your face, and lips on yours. seungmin had kissed you to stop your rambling. you couldn't help but to feel relieved and somewhat offended.

"stop." he whispers as he takes a breath, his hands still on your face, foreheads connecting, "please stop." his voice crack under pressure, its subtle but at the lack of distance between you two you can hear it so well. your eyes are closed, trying to get your own tears at bay but hearing how emotional he's becoming breaks you. a sob teeters at your bottom lip but you force it still.

"don't you ever think that I don't care. I always have." he pauses and wipes the stray tears on your face with his thumbs, "I'm so sorry I've made you feel like this. god I'm such a bad boyfriend, this is my fault."

you try to move away to comfort him but he holds you in place gently, you sniffle and reach up to brush the bangs from his face.

"I promise you I'll be more attentive, ill take you out everyday, spend as much time with you, cook for you, miss practices all the time just to make sure you know I care about you."

"you promised earlier but you didn't come!" you cry, recounting how long you waited.

"I know!" his voice quivers as his hands tremble, lightly shaking your head, "I know...and i'll never forgive myself. you don't know how much you've shaped me into the person I am now and I- I have no clue what I would do without you. I just have a poor way of showing it."

you grip on his wrists, mimicking him with your eyes squeezed shut, you stopped trying to keep the tears in awhile ago, letting them fall freely into your covered lap. "how do I know I can trust you? I'm so sick of feeling like this."

"I promise you I will prioritize you more than anything, Idol life, dancing, singing- whatever, does not come before you. I won't leave you hanging like this anymore, i'm sorry I didn't pay more close attention to your feelings," his bottom lips shakes as he takes another deep breath, he opens his eyes and you can see pass the tears and sorrow a new found determination.

"even if my heart stops beating, you're the only one I need."

past your wary judgement...you believe him...

[kindestofkings]

in a world of boys, he's a gentleman

ryan mcmahon x reader

authors note: this is so sweet and fluffy you'll probs need to visit the dentist, but its for all you ryan girlies out there xx

yourusername

location: italy!

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yourusername italy you have our hearts, lush few days away before pretty boy goes back on tour <33

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ryanmcmahon_15 you could come with me...

yourusername loveee I've got school :(

yourmum photos look fab darlings!

yourusername thanks mam💗💗

elijahhewson about time you give that handsome fella back to me !

yourusername posted on their story:

-yourusername harrys house ready!!!

ryanmcmahon_15

location: harry's house

liked by bobbyskeetz and others

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yourusername I adore you almost as much as I adore Harry Styles.

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yourusername SO proud of you boys!! have come along way since workmans x

(liked by elijahhewson,bobbyskeetz, ryanmcmahon_15 and joshjenkinson_)

ryanmcmahon_15 my number one supporter the whole time inhalerfan1 who is this girl? inhalerfan2 shes ryans girlfriend! pretty sure they've been dating since they were like 17ish

inhalerfan2 incredible 🔥🔥🔥

inhalerfan3 you made harry’s house a harry home

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yourusername corporate needs you to find the differences between this picture and this picture...

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joshjenkinson_ THEY'RE THE SAME PICTURE

bobbyskeetz how hard is it being a sidepiece even tho you've been been dating ryan for 8 years?

yourusername i've become desensitised at this point elijahhewson better to be a side piece over a no piece xx joshjenkinson_ no piece hahah yourusername how are you the same man that wrote if you're gonna break my heart??

inhalerfan1 you get it

ryanmcmahon_15 its not what it looks like....

yourusername

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yourusername FACT Ireland is beautiful this time of year. FACT my boyfriend is the cutest and I miss him terribly. FACT my brain hurts from school.

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ryanmcmahon_15 all the hard work is gonna pay off !!

(liked my yourusername)

yourmam forget about that tour business, shes miserable here! ryanmcmahon_15

yourusername mammmmm making me look uncoolllll ryanmcmahon_15 😂😂

inhalerfan1 I just found out about her a week ago but these two are my parents

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yourusername no of course not! i'm doing a phd at the moment in human rights law, in dublin <3 inhalerfan2 no way thats so cool! bobbyskeetz our brainbox !

yourusername

location: holibobs!

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yourusername love a travel moment we do x

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ryanmcmahon_15 you feelin moody with your b&w theme?

yourusername trying to channel my inner lewevans ! hows it working ? lewevans a little too good, please dont put me out of a job !!

elijahhewson hes travelled to more places with me, just saying :))

yourusername yeah but does he kiss you in a photobooth? yourusername ACTUALLY DONT ANSWER THAT I DONT WANT TO KNOW GUGGI joshjenkinson_ you defo dont want to know.. yourusername ahhhhh JOSH

yourusername posted on their story:

yourusername my favourite person dressed up as my favourite singer and I have to watch it through blurry insta lives 😭😭

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ryanmcmahon_15 lovieee thought you'd enjoy it, now i feel cruel yourusername dont its literally the best thing you've ever done, never looked hotter!

bobbyskeetz

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bobbyskeetz the ryan fella is a scrubbed up even though tour is over? confusion

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joshjenkinson_ looking good for the big day 🔥

inhalerfan2 explain yourselves please!!!!

elijahhewson officaily lost him 💔

inhalerfan1 oh my god what is happening!!!!

inhalerdublin

liked by bobbyskeetz and others

inhalerdublin it may not be music related news but we have a NEWLY WED in the band, our lovely drummer finally tied the knot with an even lovelier cailín <33

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joshjenkinson_ crackin day!

elijahhewson still emotional, OUR PARENTS

 bobbyskeetz hangover of hell today but it was worth it 🤘🏼🤘🏼

evehewson what a stunning bride, congrats !!

lewevans the best just got better! thanks for including me in the big day

yourusername are you kidding me? THANK YOU for your amazing photos! (liked by ryanmcmahon_15)

inhalerfan1 you are joking me this is so beautiful

inhalerfan2 why am I crying over two strangers getting married?!?!

yourusername

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yourusername just had a dream weekend and married my bestfriend.

never imagined getting married so young but when you know you know, and you certainly do not let a man like ryan pass you by.

my husband <3

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ryanmcmahon_15 the love of my life, my wife <3

inhalerfan1 literally the most beautiful wedding ever!

inhalerfan2 awhhhh congrats!

yourmam such a beautiful day celebrating you two!! my favourites xx

inhalerdublin our parents 💗💗💗

(liked by elijahhewson,bobbyskeetz, ryanmcmahon_15 and joshjenkinson_)

--finito--

lol dont even know where that marriage came from Im still undecided if i believe in the concept, but its cute lol!

hope you enjoyed <3

[gamebunny-advance]

Let's Just Rip Off This Band-Aid (Kliff Doll Repaint)

I still haven't finished adding the fringe to his scarf, but at this point, I don't think y'all will actually care that much. It's a personal project anyway, so I'll just finish it on my own time. Right now, I want to be released from the shackles of this project.

Once again, my poor camera and lack of editing do him no favors (he's got a real bad case of jaundice in that first pic. I PROMISE he's not that yellow-orange IRL ;o;), but he is (mostly) done.

Well, he was (mostly) done like a week ago, but just yesterday I decided to redo a few things to try and "fix" what was really bothering me about him, so I really made recursive progress. That said, I do like him more now than I did a week ago, so I'm not mad about it.

A little backstory: Alongside Kun3h0, I've been working on him for the past month, so I've been pretty occupied with this project for a while. Now, I do wonder to myself why exactly I thought making this would be a good idea. All I can really say is that my impulsive tendencies drive me to do things against my better judgement.

But, I will still give y'all my documentation and thoughts on the process + more pictures.

(I'll talk a little more about it later, but for those of you that aren't going to go through the long-ass readmore, the Neon J. mask is a reference to an old comic I drew.)

(It's so old, I was still writing everything by hand~)

So, the "real" answer to "why" I made this is really as simple as "because I could." As I said in the Kun3h0 post, I've been wanting to repaint dolls for a long time, years even, so in the back of my mind, I'm always thinking of ways I could finally start one.

Well, recently I just finally put together the ideas and motivation I needed to start. And of course, that was with Kliff.

I don't remember *exactly* how I stumbled across everything, but I do recall looking at doll clothes online and stumbling across this trench coat (pictured with the other clothes for this project).

(I took this pic mostly because I thought I was going to take pics of every major step of the process, but that didn't end up happening).

I thought it was pretty darn close to Kliff's coat, and I got the horrible idea that, "I could def make a Kliff doll to go with this coat as long as I can repaint it."

I feel like usually people would think the other way around, but that is basically the truth of this project: I didn't find clothes to fit the doll, I made the doll to fit into the clothes. Because for me, customizing the doll wasn't really the intimidating part: it's making the clothes. I don't know how to use a sewing machine, and currently lack the patience to learn (and due to some personal trauma that I don't really want to get into), but I can hand-sew, so starting any project that involves it requires me to be willing to set aside a lot of energy for me to do it, which I don't often have.

But, if I could find ways to cut down on the sewing, then I'd be more willing to start. And somehow, I was able to find just about everything I would need for a potential Kliff doll without having to sew anything. In the end, I only sewed together one thing, and it's the one thing that isn't actually finished: the scarf.

So, I blame the trench coat for the entirety of this project: if I'd never seen it, I would have never made a Kliff doll. In fact, I got the clothes before I even had the doll.

Since I was brainstorming this project, one of the most important parts is of course the base doll, which was tricky. Male doll repaints are fairly uncommon, especially of older men, so there weren't a lot of resources or places to get inspiration for this project.

From what I found, most male (fashion) dolls were very youthful, and the ones that weren't usually took heavy modifications to achieve, which was out of the question. Kliff was supposed to be an "easy" project, so on top of not wanting to sew any clothes for him, I also didn't want to have to alter the doll that much to make it look like him. This was a lot to ask for without putting in any personal work, but in a way, this goal was supposed to keep me from actually starting this project: really this whole thing was supposed to just live in my head as a fantasy as most things do, but then I just stumbled into the right set of things, so I couldn't stop myself from going through with it.

The doll I landed on was a BTS Mattel doll. Now I've said before that I know basically nothing about BTS, and that is still true, but that's beside the point. In my research for finding a suitable doll to work with, I found out that a popular base were these BTS dolls. At first, I wasn't into it because I was still running into the "youthful face" problem that I was with other brands: most of them had pillowy lips and nice soft faces, but I did eventually find one that I thought was close enough: J-Hope.

(It's not the worst match up.)

I don't have pics of my doll before I started working on him, but it was pretty close to the stock photo. He has much thinner lips than the others, and a taller, more angular head shape that I thought would work best for Kliff. I did worry a bit that the nose wasn't "strong" enough to really be Kliff (and IMO, it wasn't XP), but it was the closest I found yet, so I decided to bite the bullet and get one, and if I had one, that meant I needed to start gathering everything I would need for this project.

So, no backing out now.

Now, actually acquiring this doll was a whole other song and dance, but here's the part that's important for how the process went:

Due to a miscommunication with the seller I eventually got him from, there was a delay with shipping, so I didn't actually get him until weeks after "officially" starting this project. In the meantime, the clothes and things for Kun3h0 (who I started as an impulse project within the impulse project) had already been gathered.

The original plan was that I was going to work on and subsequently post about Kliff first since he was a comparatively simpler project. All the things I was avoiding for Kliff: sewing clothes and making modifications to the doll, were all going to be incorporated into Kun3h0, so she was theorhetically going to take longer and be posted later, thus telling a small story of "starting simple, ending complex." But since I didn't have his doll, but didn't want to delay working on Kun3h0 just to wait on him, I started on her and repainting his clothes anyway.

So, I don't have any pics of the doll or his clothes from when I was working on them, unlike the sparse ones I had for Kun3h0, I only have pics from after he was finished.

But I'll still tell y'all what I can to at least preserve the story.

For starters, repainting this coat was probably the most time-consuming part of this process.

I really thought that it would take one or two days maximum to turn this coat bright yellow, but I think it actually took over a week. And I really should have known; the coat was a medium tone, and I know that yellow takes a while to build up on anything that isn't light. I lost count at some point, but I swear that thing has over 20 coats of paint on it. Mind you, the first 10 or so coats were watered down with the textile medium, which also contributed to how long it was taking for the coat to take color, but at some point I just got so frustrated that I stopped mixing in the medium and painting directly onto the coat to get the color to layer faster. This is a huge no-no for painting acrylics onto fabric, lest the paint crack from creasing the fabric, but I just couldn't be bothered anymore. I needed this thing to be dandelion yellow NOW or I was gonna lose it.

There were consequences for taking that shortcut, such as the paint cracking in high motion areas and the coat getting stiff, but it's not terrible. In the end, I accepted the trade-offs or else I might still be painting the coat. Perhaps one day I'll reverse engineer the pattern for the coat and make him a new one, but I wouldn't count on it. In retrospect, I wonder if I would have had an easier time if I had thought to bleach the coat first?

As you might notice, I contoured/shaded part of the coat in orange. That's something that I actually *just* added yesterday and added another couple of hours to the work time. It was just bothering me that the doll was essentially a giant slab of yellow, and was part of the reason I didn't like it very much. But I got inspired by this repaint to try contouring the coat to give it more depth.

(I also used this person's videos to modify the hands. He has one deidcated to just reshaping the BTS hands.)

In the end, I'm pretty happy with the results.

The rest of the clothes weren't as difficult to deal with.

The pants took the paint a lot better, likely due to being dark paint on a light surface. Since I used less paint, it's not as stiff as the coat and still go on very easily. Though, they are VERY high waisted, and I'm not sure if that's normal XP

The shoes are also painted (and slightly modified), though I had to paint them twice because the first time, the paint got stretched off when I tried to put them on the doll's feet: the shoes were just *slightly* too small for the feet of the doll, so they really get stretched to fit his feet, and his heels don't actually go in all the way XP.

He's still capable of standing on his own, but I try not to remove the shoes, so I can avoid having them crack again.

In my "initial clothes" pic, I put down a different shirt than the one he's wearing. The original plan was to repaint the shirt black, but my work space is very limited, so I couldn't really repaint three pieces of clothes at once without significantly risking that I would stain other things. In the end, after getting scarred by how long it was taking for the coat to take color, I decided to just give him one of the black shirts that came with the coat. This does make him somewhat inaccurate since the current shirt has flowers/plants on it, but I'm gonna say that they make up for the lack of flowers on his scarf. Maybe someday I'll make him a new shirt from an old sock or something, but for now, I don't think it's a bad look.

Other clothing of note is the scarf, but since it's not technically finished I didn't take any close pics of it. It's actually made of an old headband of mine that I just cut and painted to look like his scarf.

Originally, I had actually glued on ribbon to it for the stripes, which took a couple days for the drying, but because I couldn't flatten out the scarf to easily glue the ribbon, it turned into a mess and bulked it out too much: since the scale of the doll is already small, I really needed to keep the fabrics thin. This was especially important for the scarf since it was going to wrap around his neck: if it were any thicker, it was going to practically eat up his face, which it still does, just less so.

Speaking of face...

When I finally got the doll in the mail, I started working on him right away, so I don't have any "before" pics of the doll.

After I did the usual "wiping off the face and pulling out his hair," I started with repainting the entire body and head.

Despite Kliff being ambigously "WHITE 🫵," Kliff isn't as pale as the original doll. I'd say even the stock picture I posted above has more warmth than the actual doll did. So, I got the base to be "coral" all over, dusted him in light orange chalk pastels for contouring, and most of his details are outlined in shades of burgandy. I didn't take any nude pics of this doll, but he is countoured all over his body and you can rest easy knowing I gave him some nips XP. But maybe someday I'll show y'all doll!Kliff's washboard abs XP.

TBH, I did want to detail some tattoos and some body hair too, but I just didn't trust myself to do either of those well with the tools I have (my brushes aren't thin enough, and my hand not steady enough for those kind of intricate details). Maybe someday I'll at least get his tattoos in (and after I've actually designed them XP), but we'll see. I don't plan on having the doll in short sleeved clothes very often, so details like that are the least of my concerns.

TBH, I was pretty proud of how the face paint originally went on. I really took my time to make sure it went down flat. It really was beautifully smooth~

But disaster struck.

I had painted the head while it was still separated from the body, and when it finally came time to reunite them, the paint on the head cracked and peeled when I shoved it back on. And, foolish fool that I am, instead of accepting my losses and starting over from a perfectly clean head, I just peeled the lose ends and repainted the exposed parts, which of course made the paint uneven. I somewhat justified this with the idea that most of it would be covered by other details, but in retrospect, I really should have just started over properly.

But, after that ordeal was over with, it was time to actually work on the face.

I can't clearly remember if I worked on Kun3h0 or Kliff's face first. I think I worked on them simultaneously because it took me a LONG time to actually get the courage to work on Kun3h0's face.

I thought I did a decent job on Kun3h0 since I really only had the 1 eye to repaint (the hidden eye is painted, but it's basically just a void with no details), and it was a bigger "canvas", so it was easier to paint. Besides having 2 eyes that I would need to make nearly identical, they were also a lot smaller, so it took a lot longer to paint them in a way that satisfied me (and since it's not easy to "redo" acrylic paint, his eyes lost a lot of smoothness too).

Again, I don't have any "before" pics, so it won't be easy for me to convey my troubles about it, but I do want to say that I think Kliff with a closed mouth is very cursed.

:I

He just looks like he's itching to say something heinous and that is no different for the doll.

It was so difficult for me both match his expression on a face that wasn't *completely* his and still look like him. Although I chose this doll because he most resembled Kliff, he was never gonna be a perfect likeness of him, but despite knowing this, it still bothered me that the face was still just very "young" looking.

Granted, I don't think the original Kliff looks *that* old either (if I didn't know any better, I would assume he was in his 30s, not his 50s, especially compared to other characters around the same age), but still not as *smooth* as the doll is (even with my paint mishaps).

If you can believe it, the face actually used be worse. I don't have pics of it, but like the coat, I actually repainted his face yesterday to again try and fix what was making me dislike it before. I think the problem is that I didn't outline the eyes as much as the final one (like, I don't think I lined his undereye at all), so he was lacking depth. The mouth was also a little more off. Instead of being like "<--->" it was more like "|-|"

(A rough illustration of what I'm trying to describe.)

So, while it's still not perfect, I do like him more today than I did a week ago.

I think the only things left to talk about are his accessories, starting with his wig:

I'm not actually a big fan of the color. When I started this project, I wanted to try and make him as accurate as possible, and the original Kliff design has a very "cherry jolly rancher" hair color.

However, how I draw him and how he appears in Encore Edition gives his hair a more red-orange tone which isn't as intense. In the end, I opted for accuracy towards his first design since that's the one I was technically most familiar with and wanted to replicate, but in retrospect, I should have realized that I was never gonna be able to seperate my personal quirks from this personal project, so I should have gone with a color that was more accurate to how I interpret him. (I dunno if I would have gone as far as to give him triangular eyes, but one of my biggest takeaways from this project has been that I should have just allowed this to be "my take" on the character instead of trying to be "accurate," meeting in the middle, and satisfying neither condition.)

I don't think I really got across how much I HATED brushing out yarn for the wigs when I posted Kun3h0. It was just such a tedidus process, from brushing it out, to straightening it, to gluing it down. It was such a mess. I'm still finding loose wisps of yarn hair floating around my home since I made them.

Since I had more than had my fill from making Kun3h0's wig, I once again started taking shortcuts when it came to Kliff: I really should have made more wefts for him. I figured since his hair was (compartively) shorter, that I wouldn't need to make as many, but in the end his wig turned out both too thin and too thick.

Since his hair is so messy, I didn't follow any kind of guide for his hair like I did Kun3h0. I basically just glued around the perimeter of the cap, horizontally on the inside, and made sure it would fold over in the front.

Part of the problem is that I made the wefts too thick: instead of just gluing down what could actually touch the surface of the work area, I wound up gluing layers on top of each other, so the wefts would be like a mm thick when they should have been less than half of that. So, I barely got enough coverage for the scalp, and the parts that I did get down are very thick. I think it makes his head look bigger than it should which kinda adds to the uncanniness of him.

I did try to style it as close to canon as possible, but there are some things that just aren't (easily) possible in certain mediums, and Kliff's wild hair is one of them.

In retrospect, I probably should have just sculpted his hair with clay or something: it probably would have been more accurate, but I don't have much confidence in my sculpting ability, and again, I didn't want to modify the doll that much, so I stuck with the yarn.

I might suck it up and try and make him a new wig, I still have a LOT of red yarn left over, so maybe I can make him some new styles too. But the tedium of going through with it makes it very unlikely that I'll follow through~

(The wig from other angles.)

Since the beard is made from the same yarn, I'll lightly talk about that. There aren't too many resources about bearded dolls, but I've seen people root it, glue it, and even just paint it if they weren't supposed to be thick. In the end I used this repaint for reference (suggestive content warning) and glued it on.

The scarf covers most of it, but I think it turned out okay. I need to add just a *little* more to his left cheek, but otherwise I feel like I was successful.

Next, it's usually hidden due to all the crap that's on his head, but I did give him an earring.

I didn't think about it until way too late in the process, and I tried to poke a hole through his ear so he could actually wear it. However, when I tried to do so, I almost ruined his head paint a second time. Saying, "fuck that," I decided to just glue it on.

If I had been more brave with modifying this doll, I might have just resculpted his ears entirely, because, being based on a real life human being, the doll's ears don't flare out that much, so they're easily covered by other things.

His glasses are just a piece of painted plastic that hold to his face using some plastic cord. They fit well while his wig is off, but putting them on with everything else is a goddamn nightmare.

Since his ears are so small, and his hair is so short, there's nothing for the glasses to "grab" onto without the cord, but the cord is too short to fit around the wig once it's on, but I can't make the cord longer to sit over the wig, because the glasses need to go over the headband, and it's a pain in the ass trying to layer everything like that.

So, I have to put the glasses in place first, TAPE the cord to his scalp so they don't move, put on the wig, then put on the headband. It's really such a hassle, but I don't think I can truly convey the annoyance of having to do it all without showing you. So, unless I absolutely have to, I'm never taking any of those things off him again.

I think the last things are the headband, mask, and tablet.

The headband is just a spare scrunchy that I have. I don't have one in the *exact* same color as the real one, so I went with the closest one I had, which was this teal color.

I didn't feel comfortable repainting one since it's essentially an elastic band, I don't think the paint, even with the textitle medium, would be able to hold up to all the stretching I have to do to even get it on his head.

If I happen to find a white one somewhere in my stash, then I might try dyeing it using water and acrylic paints to see if I can get it green, but for now, I think this works. A little thick, but it works.

The tablet is just a piece of foam painted with paint markers and the mask is a piece of cardboard. I wasn't planning on really recreating any scenes with this doll, but since I remembered that comic, and thought it would be easy enough to make, I went ahead and made it as an in-joke to myself.

Honestly, I think it's the most charming piece of the entire ensemble. Plus, he can wear it without me having undo/redo any of his other head accessories, so it's easy to make him wear it whenever.

My final comments about the doll itself are that he's fucking huge. I should have taken a pic of him next to Kun3h0, but he is too tall to even fit on my display shelf without sitting.

(Please ignore any mess you might see in the reflection. This is just one of the only flat pieces of furniture he can stand on without me standing on something to take a pic.)

Despite my interests, I don't actually collect dolls (I'm more into figures and plushies), so I wasn't expecting him to be so big. In fact, Kun3h0, who would be considered a small to medium doll in collector's spaces, was also bigger than I thought she'd be, so you can imagine my surprise when I got my hands on him.

So... I don't really know where I can put him. He obviously can't live in front of my TV, but beyond being too big for my shelf, he also doesn't fit in with any of my other collectibles. And I'll be honest, the contrast of him "clearly not belonging" among my more "kawaii" items was a motivator in starting this project, I live for the gap moe after all, but in practice he really just sticks out like a sore thumb. (This is also why his first pics are in a slightly different location without many props. I just couldn't put together anything from my collection or find a spot among my things to take a good thematic pic with. The magazines/CDs he's with are from my dad's collection.)

I do have space at higher elevations in my room, but it's kinda off putting to have him staring down my room, looking like he's plotting something (my space is too small to ignore it). So I dunno what I'm gonna do with him. I did have plans to make him some... cuter outfits so he wouldn't stick out as much, but that requires sewing, and I'm kinda worn out from this project.

In conclusion, despite my troubles with this project, I'm not entirely displeased with the results. At the very least, it was an experience, and one that I might even be willing to do a third time 👀...?

But for now, I'd like to rest and maybe go back to drawing again. I feel like I haven't drawn anything "real" for a while now. We're inching closer and closer to the next follower milestone (4 digit number BA-BY!), so I'd like to at least get back to being good enough to sketch some stuff for y'all soon~

[c-c-cherry]

Teru fic??

EDIT?** I've actually posted the full fic that this snippet is from. You'll probably have a more fulfilling time just reading it lol --> Click!

This is a response to the little wip "challenge" I posted a little while ago. Askbox is still open for those! (there's a few I still need to answer too) :)

Sorry this took so long! I wanna say…good choice? Probably because I’m almost done writing this one and then I can move onto editing. Assuming the Area Hysteria people reading this have also read Tenacious Terrain (building on one of the memory flashes involving Ritsu but also works as a standalone fic), this one follows a similar format.

I’ve been treating it as my warm-up to get back into Mob after awhile while simultaneously trying to write for the main AH storyline. But I also think publishing this story first might help with what I want to do later between Reigen and Teru if that makes sense? I think it fills a lot of unspoken gaps that I've really wanted to explore in the hysteriaverse so I've been having a lot of fun getting into it.

I’ll shut up now — here’s a snippy!

***

The pair walked down the street just as the sun started dipping below the trees. Reigen didn’t ask if Teru's parents were waiting for him at home, and he was grateful for it.

Teru usually found himself talking endlessly when going out with Kageyama or even Ritsu, just to fill up the fact that both usually didn’t say much at all. There was no need to do that with someone like Reigen. His energy could silence a room. Teru had seen it with Claw, the way everyone turned and gave him total control back when they first got captured. 

Reigen was evidently powerful in both the psychic world and the business world, but his words alone still poked through the sharpest of swords, more than Teru’s power ever could.

“Mob and I come here if we end up working past dinner,” Reigen held the door open for him, and Teru watched as the man greeted the host as if he knew her. He took off his jacket and gestured for Teru to follow. “This booth has the best view. It’s great while it's raining, but sunny weather will do just fine.”

The man rolled up his white sleeves and sighed in content. Teru attempted to relax his shoulders and calm his heart, pretending he wasn’t having dinner with Reigen Arataka, 21st century’s greatest psychic and Teru’s new temporary boss. Thoughts about what to do with that daunting guardianship form still plagued the back of his mind but he forced himself to push it back further and look up at the approaching waiter.

“No bowl-cut today?” she asked curiously, passing out the menus, “I haven’t seen the two of you come around here in a bit.” 

“Who, Mob?” Reigen chuckled, “The kid’s got a marathon at school to run. I’ve got a few of his friends helping me out.”

Teru melted into the foam booth, letting it press up against his back as the two conversed. It had been awhile since he’d felt this cozy. He wondered if it was the ambience of this place, or Reigen’s mere presence putting him at ease.

“Before I forget,” Reigen rummaged through his briefcase once they had both ordered and pulled out his phone. “I’ll give you my number so we can keep in touch. I might need you earlier or later depending on exorcism appointments. It’ll be nice to have you filed away for when I need you this week.”

Reigen wanted his phone number? Teru stared down at his food piping hot in front of him. He wondered if Reigen would pay for this, too. Based on what Kageyama had said about him, the man would no doubt slip a few bills on the table regardless of whether Teru pulled out his card to cover his half of the bill. Reigen would probably walk him home too while he was at it. 

“Sure, I-” he stuttered, trying to find his voice. This wasn’t like him. Reigen must have known that too, despite barely knowing him at all. The man leaned over and placed his hands up defensively, his rolled sleeves slipping back down and grey jacket discarded beside him.

“Unless you think that’s overstepping. I just like to have everyone’s names on hand. If you aren’t comfortable with it, don’t worry about it. I don’t have to have you on-call all the time like I do with Mob…though it would be pretty helpful for emergency exorcisms…” 

Teru didn’t wait around to hear what else the man was saying. Reigen was so confident, so powerful, so cool, and all Teru wanted to do was impress him. 

Be reliable. He could be reliable. 

Teru pulled out his phone, flipped through his contacts and tried to find the phone number that he still hadn’t memorized after getting a new number a few months back. His father had paid for it, of course. He hadn’t seen his father’s face in years, but the man still paid for everything so long as Teru could forge his signature.

His head went back to those stupid forms in his bag. To think the school had waited this long before asking him to prove his parents’ existence outside of a signature.

“Here,” he pushed his phone over to him, pulling a grin over his face. “I’d be happy to help you out in Kageyama’s stead as much as you need.” He’d even be willing to skip school, maybe never show up at school again if it meant no one would interrogate him about his familial situation. But perhaps that was a different kind of commitment. 

Reigen smiled back, his eyes glowing with satisfaction. “That was quick. Thanks a bunch, Hanaza—"

“—Teruki,” he corrected, before realizing that he’d interrupted Reigen Arataka, 21st Century’s Greatest Psychic and the only adult who had ever asked him for his number to make sure he was around and alright. “Teruki’s fine. Or Teru.”

Reigen snorted, taking his chopsticks and dipping them into his bowl. “Teruki for now. But don’t think you can just go around calling me Arataka…at least, not in front of Ritsu. Sometimes it feels like that kid is just trying to find his footing before pouncing on someone like me.” Reigen’s eyes locked onto him, suddenly serious. “You wouldn’t want to be responsible for a dead man…would you, kid?” 

“Oh,” Teru’s face surely looked stupid, the way it glowed. “No, I would never—”

“Kids these days are so dense! I’m just messing around,” the man snickered back, followed by the slurping of noodles. “Mmmh..this place never fails to amaze my taste buds after such a long day.” He banged on the table softly with his fist. “Well, eat up! Here’s to a very productive first day.”

A thought grazed Teru’s head as he tipped the bowl up to his lips. 

It was a very selfish, self-serving thought. One that accompanied a methodical plan that slowly began to form in the back of his mind. Reigen was a responsible, giving person. He was mystical, busy, a very busy man. He lived here in Seasoning City. If Teru could guess, he was almost at the age of 30—a very responsible age for a very responsible, reliable, busy man. He was a model citizen, really. He even went above and beyond to inspire others around him.

As of this moment, Teru worked alongside Reigen. He had access to his files, which probably contained most of his information if he looked around hard enough for it. Maybe this would finally get the school off his back. 

And who says the man even has to know?

[starluvsx]

⭑ 𝐁𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬

𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Proofread: sorta....

Word count: 2.5k

WARNINGS: small mention of blood, swearing, just cute fluff besides that!

A/N: ik i said this would be posted a while ago but I've been super busy w school and everything and have just had no time to write but here it is!this is acc something i've had in mind but have been able to actually write so it was nice to finally finish it. ok happy reading guys!

"I'm hungry," Nick complained from the other side of the couch. Matt, who was too focused on his phone to even acknowledge anything else around us, simply blew Nick off. only telling him to grab something from the kitchen.me and Chris on the other hand weren't very tapped into the movie all four of us were supposed to be watching. It was a little boring, yes but what else was there to do? Summer break is normally fun but there are always a few weeks where you feel like you've done everything you can for this 10 week break.

" there's nothing good in there, can we go to the gas station or something?'' Nick asked as he hung his head off the edge of the couch we all shared. With the small back and forth happening right next time I was now paying less attention to the movie.

Matt, who was still looking at his phone aimlessly, answered Nick's complaint and question combination with "my car is still in the shop so unless you feel like walking 2 miles then go find something in the kitchen." annoyed. not really sure what he was annoyed about since he hasn't even done anything all day besides sit on the couch and sit around the house with us.

"we could just take the bikes.'' Chris said from behind me. Nick silently made his way toward the kitchen while we tried to figure out a plan. Looking around the cabinets and the fridge for something to his liking.

“You know I can’t ride a bike asshole” I sassed as I turned my head a little bit in order to see him.

“No I fucking didn’t, what are you talking about?” He retorted.

“Like everyone knows that?” I replied.laughing at the brunette’s confusion.Matt shut off the movie and put something on cable since at this point nobody was even paying attention to it.

"I'm just hungry and bored so can we please find some way to get to the gas station for the love of God."Nick said, walking toward us from the kitchen dramatically plopping down back next to Matt on the couch.

The four of us sat there and attempted to think of a solution. "I'll just teach you how to ride,"Chris suggested as he got up from the couch, pulling up his gray sweats slightly.the 3 of us looked at Chris so he realized what he just said "how to ride a bike guys, Jesus..." he clarified as he shook his head with a small smile at our immaturity.

The rest of us got off the couch and began to walk toward the front door to leave. As Matt opened the door my eyes were met with a beautiful pink sunset. The winding down of the summer day made the weather very mellow. Warmth and a soft wind hit my bare legs and arms. watercolor sky painting the scenery.

I followed the boys toward their bikes and grabbed the extra one which was Justin's old bike. blue and silver spikes stars were spread over the bike. not exactly something I would ride if I had the choice but i'm not in position to complain.

as I hopped on it I noticed Matt and Nick beginning to ride away "teach her and we can bring you guys stuff" Matt yelled from almost 13 feet away. I turned to Chris who was unlocking his bike for the chain

"Okay!" he yelled to Matt before turning to me."Alright, you know how to get on it so that's good."he joked before getting on his own bike. "ok try to move the bike" he said, turning to me.

"ok..."I mumbled as I placed my feet on the pedals. I lost balance once both my feet left their place on the ground causing me to frantically put my left foot back on the gravel. I turned to the boy in front of me. his pale skin glowing in the dwindling sunlight. He made a concerned face before getting off his bike in order to help me.

"let me try holding the bike as you put your feet on the pedals."he explained. Chris then came around to the back of me and placed his left hand on my waist and the right on one of the handles.my heart began to beat faster. I felt supported by Chris' hold so I put my foot back on the pedal. "So now move the pedals as if you were gonna ride for real." I did as he said and began to pretend to ride the bike.

"Now when I let go, keep pedaling forward."nerves shot through me as I looked out to the long empty street in front of me. the fear of falling over took over

"Chris im gonna fucking fall"I expressed

"I won't let go of you, just the bike. if you fall I'll catch you, promise."He reassured me. His words encouraged me to try so as soon as he let go I kept pedaling. The bike moved quickly under my feet but I wasn't scared because of the support Chris had on my hip.

Once I was about half way down the road nerves set back in and I began to feel like I might fall again. I wasn't steering the bike correctly and was sort of swerving. "Chris, Chris I'm gonna fall!"I yelled. I tried to straighten the bike but it wasn't working.

"No you're not kid, I'm literally holding you,"Chris said, out of breath from running to keep pace with me. The end of the road was nearing so I knew I would have to turn around soon.

"How do I turn?!"I frantically yelled. as the rounded curb got closer and closer.the wheels of the old bike wouldn't slow down as they glided against the pavement.

"What?" Chris yelled from behind me.I hadn't even realized he let go and that I was doing this on my own.

"How do I turn!?"I yelled even louder hoping he would hear and then teleport next to me and turn the bike for me.

"floor it!" he shouted as I was about to hit the curb. I then jerked the handles of the bike and turned sharply. my legs moving faster in order to keep momentum. "Hell yea!!" he exclaimed from the opposite side of the street. His excitement made me smile.

our happiness didn't last much longer though because I didn't realize there was a huge pot hole right in front of me. The front wheel got caught in the crater and sent me flying forward.

"oh shit!'' Chris yelped as he jogged over to me. Adrenaline was rushing through my veins still so I didn't feel much pain coming from my scraped up elbow or my cut knee. "you okay? No broken bones or concussions?"

I giggled at his concern and wiped up some blood that had been dripping down my leg. "dude you fucking did it, you learned how to ride a bike!"he said happily. a huge smile painted on his sun dusted face. eyes fixated on mine which were inspecting the sting from my cut began to set in causing me to let out a wince.

"Ok can we get inside now."I mumbled out of breath. my soft voice broke him out of his trance as he darted his eyes away from mine.

"oh yeah sorry." he said as he stood up and dusted off his knees that had tiny rocks scattered on them. I put my hand out for him to help me up and he did so. helping me limp back to the house.

Once we got inside he told me to wait in the kitchen while he grabbed our bikes that he realized he had left outside. While he was outside I hobbled my way over to the freezer and grabbed some ice, put it in a plastic baggie with a paper towel around it and placed it on my elbow.

When Chris came back into the kitchen he began looking for the first aid kit. "Sorry I took so long, your bike was like lodged in the hole." he explained, laughing a little. I huffed out a small laugh as well. "Okay here we go!"he said as he closed the cabinet, turning around with a red and white box in his hands.

He placed the box on the counter and began to examine what was inside of it, pulling out bandaids, gauze, rubbing alcohol and cotton balls.Chris struggled to keep the things in his arms as he walked over to me. The items catering once placed on the counter. 

"hop up."he instructed. I did as he said, hopping onto the counter and shuffling around so I was comfortable and didn't feel like I was gonna fall off. I turned my head to watch him mess around with the medical stuff. putting everything into place. "this is gonna sting a lot" he said as he stood in front of me. cotton ball that had been soaked in disinfectant In his hand. i bit my lip as the alcohol made contact with my open wound. a stinging sensation being sent through my knee.

The slight pain went away as he stopped cleaning the cut. opening a brown bandaid and placing it on the cut carefully. "See, all better!"he joked, making me smile at his small gesture. our eyes caught each other as he looked up. both of us admiring the other's features.

for the first time in I think forever there was a silence between us. once that had to be broken but not by words. I hopped down from my spot on the counter unexpectedly .My action made Chris back up a little.

Without saying anything I hugged the brunette in front of me.wrapping my arms around his neck as he did the same with my waist. I buried my head in his neck and smiled to myself.

Chris pulled away from the hug before I could. I was confused at why he would do this wrong as he normally is a very big hugger with me. my confusion soon turned to shock as the flushed boy in front of me cupped my cheeks and pressed his lips onto my one passionately.

My eyelids slowly sunk down as my body melted into the long awaited kiss. i have had a crush on him for God knows how long but never came even close to knowing he felt the same way, let alone making a move.the front door opened almost as soon as we pulled away from each other. making us white our heads toward the door almost immediately. 

"hey guys-'' Nick began as he and his brother trotted into the kitchen, bags of snacks in hand. "the fuck happened to you?" he asked me as he set the snack down on the kitchen table.

my heart was still beating faster than I could think but I had to make everything seem normal. i mean my best friend can't know I just kissed my other best friend who also happened to be his brother. "This kid tried to teach me how to ride a bike, '' I said with a small, awkward giggle.

"alright i'm going back to the couch." Matt said groggily as he walked back to the place where he had been for most of the day.

"yea same" Chris followed short behind Matt with his snacks in hand.i didn't take my eyes off him he sat back down on the couch.

"You sure he only touched your how to ride a bike?"Nick asked me from across the counter.leaned over,interested in the truth behind what had happened while they were out.

I took a sip of my red bull before choking on the drink at the question I had been asked. "Yes Nick, I've told you before, I'm not interested in either of your brothers like that."I reassured the brunette.i hated lying to him like that but I didn't really want to tell him just yet.especially If nothing ever came about with Chris.after all me and him are still just friends.

"Okay I'm just saying, you're awfully flushed." Nick said.

"There's nothing there, girl , trust me. I think they're watching La La Land in there," I said as I let go of the topic, making my way back to the living room.upon entering I saw both brothers on each side of the couch so I naturally migrated toward Chris. the boy who had made himself comfortable on the couch moved his legs in order for me to sit there.

Once the four of us were all curled up on the couch together it was almost impossible to ignore the fact that Chris' hand was placed on my waist.I leaned on him a little but not fully so as to not make it obvious that I had lied earlier.

I have had a crush on this boy basically since we met and now he's finally showing that he feels the same way, just without words which I honestly prefer.anyone can say anything but it takes a certain kind for passion driven by truth to actually act on your words.spoken or not.i don't know what we are but I feel like it's spelled out pretty clearly that it's more than what we've been letting on

[ptolomeia]

Who wants to hear my thoughts on how my disability, fatness and grief all intersect?

If the answer is not you, please press j to continue to the next post!

So, we're coming up on a year now since our disability meant we had to come to terms with the fact that we would never be able to work and had to drop out of school for our dream job and become a housebound/bedbound lump person. Now my dream job was in construction, it was unionized and extremely well paid and I was three months short of graduating when reality became undeniable. I was never going to be able to do this.

I may have been the only person in my class who had to double check the weight capacity of my harness and shock absorber, but I was fucking good at the work. One of my teachers had me tutoring classmates before the brain fog made that impossible. And while it was hard to find clothes that fit me, mens clothes typically came in larger sizes, which worked for me.

And then came MECFS, slowly robbing my life of, well, most things really. Including, but very much not limited to, my sense of identity and my dream job.

Being a poor student, I didn't really have many clothes that didn't fit with that life. And being very fat, i couldnt exactly go to a mall and buy fast fashion that suited me better for cheap. So, I find myself almost a year down the line with still not many clothes that make me feel good or happy or non additional grief.

Which brings me to my next set of issues. Due to sensory and temperature regulation issues, I can only wear natural breathable fibers (another thing that cuts me off from fast fashion). Between the exhaustion from my ME/CFS and my sensory issues, shopping is hard on me.

But HAHA! I think. I've been sewing on and off for near two decades now (ow my brain). I can just sew myself a new wardrobe! Besides, the non construction worker styles I like (vintage 40s-50s) is even harder to find plus sized, well fitting anyway. If I can't do my dream job, at least I can enjoy some expertly sewn (eh, close enough), perfectly (that could probably use some quotes) fitting clothes in a style I've long loved but thought impractical!

Except, here's the thing. Sewing requires energy. Laying out and cutting out fabric requires energy. It requires precision and focus and when I only have a few good hours a day and have to take care of myself and my home on top of my sewing ambitions...

Last summer I made a pair of shorts (two front pieces, two back pieces, a fly, a waist band, belt loops, 4 pockets and facings) in three days at the start of my decline, and that was on top of doing some basic renovations at my parents house. Last month, an extremely simple t-shirt (front, back, two sleeves and a neckband) took me... a week? More? And there's so much more I want to make working through my stash. Pj's that aren't falling apart. A new raincoat and a new fall coat. A simple 1950s style dress in a wonderfully loud plaid that would just be so much fun.

But this morning I was trying to get my jersey to lie flat and nearly ended up crying (knits are the devil fabric. Curse them and their comfort and stretch). There are days where it feels like there is nothing this disease won't take from me.

But at the same time... even if a year ago I could have trimmed assembled and cut out a pattern in one day, at least today I got to trim the papers? And even if cutting out that jersey took more fabric that it strictly needed to, at least I'm one step closer to having some new, hole free pjs.

So, even as i grieve the many many things I lost, I try to hold to what I still can do. And also rail against the world for making things harder for fat people than they need to be. Because seriously, I'm having to learn to make my own patterns (and yes, they will fit better but that is not the point) because most patterns (and definitely none of the big commercial ones) come in anything close to my measurements. This makes me extremely annoyed.

But yeah, to sum up, disability, fatness, grief, and hope all make a very complex ball. And I wish it could be easier

[skywalking-through-life]

Much delayed, but for the truth-or-dare ask game: 🍓🥑🥤🧃 (🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷)

My friend! 💙💙💙💙💙

These are such good ones, omg. Sorry in advance for the word vomit, lolol

🍓 - How did you get into writing fanfiction?

Okay, so I've kind of been writing fic in my head (and sometimes in notebooks/random word documents) since I was about 8 years old, and I first realized that 'writing stories' was 1) a thing ANYONE could do, and also, sometimes, 2) a job that required refined skills, lol. When you're a kid you're told (if you're lucky) that you can do anything that you put your mind to, and little Sky loved stories more than most other things, so I couldn't imagine doing something with the rest of my life that didn't involve them! So I started practicing. The first fanfic I ever wrote was in a journal, and it was only a few pages long because I did not have great penmanship and was impatient with own slowness, lol. I'm fairly certain I was embarrassed by my efforts and threw them out. For a long time I wrote elaborate stories in my head instead, and didn't start actually doing the (MUCH harder) work of putting them on paper until high school. But I was also having a complex at that point in my life around acceptability/popularity and anxiety around being perceived as a nerd, so I was way too terrified to tell anyone I was writing it. And then I was so disillusioned by the meanness that I saw in online fandom spaces that it still took years before I got up the courage to post any of it publicly! I've had an ao3 account for the past decade, and was a lurker for a good five years before that, but I didn't start posting my own work until just under two years ago. That ought to say something, I think. 💀

🥑 - you accidentally killed someone, which mutal(s) do you text for help?

LOL, heaven forbid I ever find myself in this situation, but if so...honestly probably you, lmao, and some other folks on here that I don't think have ever been involved in crimes, but are otherwise competent, functioning adults who don't shy away from difficult/grey situations - at least in fiction, lol. @60sec400 @darkmagyk @phykios @deerlie-main , I hope you are not insulted by this. 💀

🥤- recommend an author or fanfic you love

I just did this the other week - and apparently y'all really needed recs, wow! - so I'm kind of wracking my brain here to rec something I haven't already recommended recently...there are a LOT of good options to choose from! I guess I'll go with 'percy jackson and the scrutiny of his coworkers', which is an absolutely BRILLIANT outsider pov fic by pqrker on ao3. It's popular for a reason, and the reason being that it is perfect. 🥹

🧃- share some personal lore you've never posted about before

Ooooo, hmm, what to pick, what to pick...hmm, okay, I'll go with this. A segue from my first answer, lol. I was nominated for Homecoming Queen in high school, and was the first runner up, so - hilariously - became the Homecoming Princess. It was my teen movie Cinderella-story moment, because I had always been the shy nerd in the back of the classroom, but then all of a sudden was in a fancy dress on the football field getting a crown and wondering what parallel universe and/or Taylor Swift song I'd just fallen into. And weirdly enough, knowing that I hadn't done anything special to be nominated - that people had just liked me - went a long way towards me being able to accept myself more holistically. Maybe if they liked me enough for that, I could like me enough to try and see what they saw, you know? It was years ago now, but it is a fond and bizarre memory, and was very helpful to a confused and anxious 17 year old! 😅

You may have gotten more than you planned with this ask, lol, but thank you for asking, my friend. 💙