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#i've grown so much as a person the last few months it's kind of blowing my own mind!!!
donotfindme · 10 months
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The day before the move
This move has brought out aspects of my personality that I've never seen before. After months of dealing with paper review, job application, thesis writing and finishing up grad school, I find myself tearing up with my therapist again because of the same exact reasons: my brain refuses to cut me some slack.
Yesterday, I told my therapist that my anxiety these past couple of weeks is unmatched, but I do not know why it is the case. I blame it on the move, and I know it will pass, but the move or stressful times in life must not be the reason why my anxiety gets worse and worse over time. It's the lost of control. It's the trying to please people. It's the uncertainty of the future. It's the feel of a lost kid who blames herself for every single thing that goes wrong in other people's life. It's the will to serve others, but then I forget to serve myself.
I recalled a recent event to my therapist; the event went roughly like this. I received a phone call from my Mom. She told me that my nephew was hospitalized because of some flu, but my sister needs to study and take some exams, so my Mom needed to take care of my nephew for my sister. However, my Mom has been feeling under the weather as well, so my nephew being the hospital has inconvenienced her greatly, and my Mom wanted my nephew to be treated as an outpatient. This kind of conversation happens all the time, with the undertone being "I wish you were home so you could help out". My first reaction was "so what do you want me to do with this piece of information? Comfort you? Give you a solution? What do you want?". The next one is "I wish I could be home so I could help out. I wish I could do everything for you although it may mean I burn myself to death". And the last thought, with guilt, went like "I'm thankful for being away, so I can take care of myself first and foremost, instead of prioritizing everyone in my life but me. I know it is selfish of me to think so, but I'm glad I broke out of the circle and left home." My therapist smiled and told me "I'm so happy for you and proud of your growth! You of a few years ago would have stopped at the second thought, but now you have another one which is positive and focusing on you. It is the last thought which leads to action that counts". This blows my mind. I actually have grown so much, but I forget to zoom out and see my progress.
It felt good for one second, one hour, or maybe one day after talking to my therapist. But today, I'm all sad and anxious and depressed again. I need to move tomorrow, but my mind doesn't stop thinking about tasks I have to do AFTER finishing the move tomorrow. Many of these tasks are important, but I honestly cannot do much now even if I'm worried. As my therapist said "worrying about it now just means you will have to worry about it twice: now, and when it actually comes".
I feel stuck and all stuffed up inside with negative emotions. I want a good cry, a big ugly cry. I'm tired and I constantly thought about the day it all ends. Everything ends.
Anyhow, tomorrow and the next day are both moving days. I'm tired, but if I don't do it, no one would for me.
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capricores · 3 years
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ommmmmg long time no see hi guys!!! 🥺💕 i hope you’ve all been doing amazing and staying healthy!! i’m so sorry for the extremely long break without warning! but i am so excited to be back!! i probably won’t be immensely active because i am very busy with work + my bf and i are moving houses again, but i’ll try my best :’)
things i’m currently slowly working on for this blog:
revamping my desktop & mobile themes for easier browsing 
changing my navigation section & creating a master list of all original posts: going through my whole blog and retagging old posts super specifically so you guys can browse more easily
i’m going to try to answer asks & start writing new posts asap!!!
going to start up a youtube channel for astrology & tarot soon!!!! 
planning on making a happy healthy lil discord server where we can nerd out about astrology, tarot, crystals and anything relating to spirituality, personal growth, etc!!
free tarot pulls coming soon, stay tuned for that !!!!!! i got two new decks (archangel animals + karma cards) and i wanna put them to good use :) i’m actually in love with them and have been doing some super accurate readings with them so i can’t wait to try them here!
as for readings i’m still taking a big halt, sorry about that!! i’m hoping to accept readings in a new format in the future, but it probably won’t be for another two months or more!
oh also!! little update!! got my official birthtime from the hospital i was born at finally, and i am in fact a pisces rising :’’’) also might post some pics of the new decks & crystals i’ve bought because i love them too much (also have discovered my all time fav crystal, howlite.... my lifesaver!!!!)
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marichat-verse · 3 years
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Mist Memories
Leo Valdez x reader for his birthday ahhhh (even though it's angsty) with a platonic/developing jason x reader cameo at the end (lmao im sorry i couldn't help myself 😭)
Based on this picture I found in pinterest + also [kinda] based on traitor by olivia rodrigo and omg i really recommend u guys listen to this edit because it reminds me so much of this fic that's been stuck in my head for MONTHS also kind of a run away with me prologue lol
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Your POV
I nervously made my way across the forest until I reached a limestone cliff. I knocked on the iron door, not really expecting to get an answer.
My boyfriend has been shutting himself in Bunker 9 for the past few weeks. I stood there counting up to seven before knocking again. I knocked again two more times, until he answered in the middle of my last knock.
He removed his goggles and winced as sunlight hit his eyes. He'd grown thinner and paler, making the dark circles in his eyes more pronounced.
"Oh, Leo..." I reached out to brush a few strands of hair away from his face, but he moved away.
"What are you doing here?" He said in a monotone voice.
I moved to walk inside the Bunker, brushing off his hesitation to let me in. "I'm your partner, remember? And I'm really concerned because you're shutting yourself out lately. You know everyone's starting to worry about you. Percy asked me to check on you because you missed pegasus riding with him. Oh, and I'm pretty sure Jason's coming back from Camp Jupiter soon. I was hoping you and Annabeth could be with Piper while Percy and I hung out with Jason because it's been a little awkward since their breakup. Plus Piper wanted to tell you something—"
"Please," he said forcefully causing me to stop and look at him. "Just... Get out."
Normally, he'd shut himself from the world for a few days to work on an important project or because he was feeling really sad and he needed space. But this was getting out of hand. He had never locked me out of his life when I offered to help him. He was never this mean when he asked for space. I was not having this attitude of his.
"Okay, Leo. I tried to play nice. What is so important that you blow off all your friends for nearly a month that you can't even tell your partner, or maybe say hi to your best friend who's coming back from the other side of the country?"
He didn't say anything. He pursed his lips and avoided eye contact. I scanned he room for any signs.
It was messier than usual with all the crumpled paper scattered on the floor, especially on his desk. He could have been drawing up new plans. Something in my gut told me that something wasn't right. There were no new unfinished projects, indicating that he wasn't starting a new invention. Harley's helicopter lay on his bench in the same state it was weeks ago. Huh, not even his siblings could enter the Bunker.
I turned and Leo was already changing Festus' oil. I took this moment of distraction to pick up a few pieces of crumpled paper on the floor and on his desk. I had to process the words a bit longer—too long that Leo took notice. Damn dyslexia.
I heard footsteps speed up behind me, but it was too late. I read enough and got the gist of what he had been trying to do these past few weeks.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He yelled at me. Small embers started to erupt between his curls.
I laughed dryly. "So this is what you've been up to?"
His fists tightened, further crumpling the paper in his hands. His eyes flashed with anger, despair and confusion.
I sighed and focused my eyes on his desk, not daring to look at him any longer. Under some pieces of paper were old photographs of him and Piper from Wilderness School. Yup, those definitely were the mist memories she had with Jason. I read the latest draft he'd been writing:
Dear Piper,
Remember the mist memories from boarding school with Jason? They were real, but they were with me.
I miss you. I miss when it was just us. I miss the night on the roof.
Yours truly,
Leo Valdez
I tried to keep my voice from cracking. "How long?"
I heard him sigh. "Three weeks."
I balled my fists. Tears started to fall and smudge the ink. I wiped them away as fast as they came.
"How?"
"In a dream," his tone softened now. "Hera came to me in a dream and told me to check an old drawer in Bunker 9. I found the photos and the memories came rushing back."
"How long were you dating back then?"
"Two weeks."
"Were you ever going to tell me?"
Silence; then a deep breath.
"No."
I shook my head in disbelief. "Why?"
"Because I knew you'd get upset like—"
"I meant why would you throw away months of our relationship for a couple of weeks of your relationship with her? And without even bothering to tell me? Gods damn it, Leo. We've been together since you've first arrived at camp. And what about those promises you made when we were sailing to Greece? You've been keeping these feelings away from me and you've been lying to me, making me believe that there's still something between us and—"
"Oh, calm down," he said with an annoyed expression and tone, which only infuriated me more, "it's not like I did anything were her yet! I didn't kiss her or tell her how I truly felt for her! She just got out of a relationship with Jason around the same time I had that dream. I had to figure out how to talk to her about it. I've been alone in this Bunker for three. Fucking. Weeks. I didn't cheat on you."
"Oh, and that makes everything better?" I countered. "Being in a relationship isn't about not cheating, Leo. It's about being honest and communicating with each other."
"Oh, like you've been communicating with me? After the war, you take go back to Manhattan for school, and you take a job. I haven't seen you much during the holidays because work has been keeping you in the city. And you won't tell me what you even do for a living!"
I took in a deep breath. "I told you I needed to have a life outside of camp! I needed to know first that I could handle myself in the mortal world as a normal human being. I needed this demigod part of my life to be separate as much as possible! I've been in two wars, Leo. I needed time to myself, too. And I was about to tell you guys in a few more days. But I guess now, I'm glad I've kept you out of that part of my life. At least I have an escape from all of this. And now, especially from you."
I took another deep breath and walked to the door, about to let myself out. I turned back again, both our tear-stained eyes meeting each other.
"If it makes you feel any better," I said softly, "I would've hated the idea of us breaking up. But if you really love her, if you really feel like you have this special connection to her and she makes you happy, then I won't get in your way. You could at least have had the decency to talk to me so we could have left on a good note."
He looked at me with wide eyes, clearly regretting his actions. I sighed and looked around the Bunker, possibly for the last time. Lots of memories were definitely created in this room; all just as grand and meaningful as the inventions they made here. But just like some of Hephaestus' contraptions, some of them were flawed and dumped in his scrapyard, no matter how much potential it could have had.
"Goodbye, Leo."
I sat on a rock on the beach that gave me a beautiful view of Long Island Sound. To my left, the sun started to set, casting an orange filter on everything. My heart broke, remembering how everything glowed orange in the Bunker. Leo always left the fires burning when he was working. The sunlight twinkling against the sea reminded me of how small bits of flame peaked through his hair earlier. I remembered how mad he was at me. Or maybe he was mostly mad at himself.
"Hey."
I jumped when someone sat—or rather, landed—beside me. I turned and smiled, seeing one of my good friends back at camp.
"Hey, you're back," I said weakly. "How long have you been here?"
He smiled at me, although he could maybe sense that something was wrong. "Half an hour, maybe? I saw Annabeth making plans to expand camp to have a city. She made me do an aerial inspection and I told her I'll get back to her tonight. That's when I saw you."
"Mhmm," I mumbled, not really knowing what to say. It was silent for a few minutes before I spoke up again, knowing he was just waiting for me to open up.
"I broke up with Leo."
His head quickly turned to me. I guess he wasn't expecting it to be that bad. "What?"
"Oh yeah," I laughed dryly. "Turns out the mist memories Piper had in Wilderness School with you? They were real. But not with you."
His eyes widened. "Oh... With Leo."
"He locked himself in the Bunker for weeks trying to write a letter. It was heartbreaking. Like, truly heartbreaking. He wanted to tell her how much he missed her and how much he missed them. Then he said how much he missed that night with her under the stars and... It hurt. Like hell."
"Oh," he said. "I guess Piper didn't tell me everything then."
"She knew all along?"
He shook his head. "Maybe not everything, but she told me she's been confused about her feelings lately and she'd been having visions or dreams of possible old memories that were messing with her head."
"I'm sorry about you and Piper," I said.
"Don't be," he said. "I understand her. It did hurt, though. But I think I can get over it some day. We're still awkward around each other, but at least we left on a good note."
I scoffed. "Leo couldn't even give me a good ending to our relationship."
"Hey," he said as he put a hand on my shoulder. "You're a great person, y/n. You've done so much, especially for him. It's his loss that he was stupid enough to let go of you."
"I know that."
"Do you really?"
"I do!" I said. "I'm a great person and I know that. But that doesn't mean what he did doesn't hurt me."
"I know," he said. "You'll find someone who'll treat you like the queen that you are. You're a great person, and I'm not just saying this to cheer you up. I truly think you're amazing."
I smiled at him. "Thanks, Jason. And you'll find someone great, too. Maybe not as great as me but, then again, who is?"
We both let out a laugh. The conch sounded in the distance, signaling dinner. I moved to stand up before hearing Jason speak up again.
"Hey, do you maybe want to just grab a couple of plates and eat out here?"
I smiled. "Yeah. That sounds good. I don't really want everyone else hounding me about the breakup right now."
I don't know how long it was going to take me to get over Leo. We really did gave something special. It was cruel how the universe gave me something so good, to make me have hope that something was finally going right, then have it yanked away from my arms just as suddenly as it came.
He never cheated on me, but that didn't mean he didn't betray every promise we made to each other. I should have known it was too good to be true. Life has always played cruel jokes on me.
Then again, who's to say that things won't turn out for the better, right?
��••
Tagging: @drvrslcense @bubblybubbubs @dreamerball @quteez @aesthetxcimagines @chasingpj @beingleft @wadewilsonsgreatestfriend
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captainsjack · 4 years
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There needs to be more Shus h/c: I've been imaging lately Shawn getting into a massive fight with Henry, the kind were his Dad is really out of line and he can't joke his way through it bc he's been hit where it HURTS. Gus is there naturally, and Shus is married in the scenario bc I say so. They have to pull over on the way home bc Shawn actually breaks down despite his best efforts not to. Gus is a good protective husband and does his best to calm him down, but Shawn is QUIET for days after. p1
p2. Henry comes over to apologize and Gus opens the door, seriously considers punching him face, but ultimately lets him in. Henry and Shawn make up as much as they ever do, but Gus refuses to talk to him for months bc he's still furious at him for hurting Shawn that much. Would love to hear you elaborate on this with your own hc and thoughts <3
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ok the fact that i’ve written something very similar to this (well at least thought about it) ?? buddy we’re just on the same wavelength here !!
but honestly ?? just what you said is perfect, i don’t even know what to add !!
to be fair, i am a bit sympathetic to henry, so i’m not quite sure exactly what he would say that’s so out of line, but i do like the concept.
i’d definitely say this is within the first season. like shawn’s trying his best to make an effort with his dad, despite everything that’s happened. and it’s mostly because he feels a bit guilty about not inviting henry to the wedding. like shawn and gus got married a bit over a year before s1, and so henry hadn’t moved back yet, and even if he had been in santa barbara at the time, shawn was still pretty sure he wouldn’t have invited him anyways (gus is completely on shawns side and actually hasn’t even spoken to henry since high school, but i digress, that’s a different plot).
anyways, when shawn saw henry for the first time in idk how long, neither of them really mentioned the whole Wedding Ring Thing until henry said something during the dog house scene and they awkwardly talked about it (again, a concept for a different post).
so they both had a bit more sympathy for how their relationship has gone wrong, and both were trying their best to make things better even though it was hard (because missing your sons wedding is a real blow no matter how much you know you’ve fucked up in the past). and so things sort of have changed for the better at least a little bit and shawn thinks that, maybe, just maybe, he can forgive his dad just a bit and things can be civil.
and so when shawn and gus are at henry’s (idk what for) and henry says something, it hits shawn a hell of a lot harder than it would’ve in the past. because he wasn’t expecting it (well, at least not as much). he’d thought they were at least ok for now.
and idk what henry says, but it’s clear to shawn that whatever niceties had been in place the last couple of months had just been a figment of shawn’s imagination. of him trying to cling to a shred of a normal relationship with his father.
it wasn’t something shawn could just laugh off or roll his eyes and make a joke. it stings. a lot. and shawn kind of just flinches and he tries to be subtle about it, but he can’t hide the hurt that flashes across his face.
gus tries to defend shawn right away, once henry says the thing. his body is filled with an amount of hatred he hasn’t felt since he had found out shawn had left town and had known it was all henry’s fault. everything in his body goes tense and he’s unconsciously angling his body in front of shawn, harsh words flying out of his mouth unstoppable.
but shawn kind of just huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. he puts his hands up in a “whatever” gesture, body already turning to the door. “forget it man, let’s just go” he says to gus, and he doesn’t wait for a response before he’s already out the door and halfway to the car.
gus just stands there, watching the door swing shut, before he glares at henry one last time and follows shawn. he makes sure to slam the door extra hard.
shawn’s leaning against the passenger door, his face expressionless, and gus knows shawn well enough to know that there’s nothing he can say to make things right. so gus just carefully looks at him, and shawn’s still staring at the ground, and he unlocks the car and they start driving.
the silence that fills the car is heavy, and it makes gus feel like he can’t breathe. he tries to focus on the road, hands gripping the steering wheel so hard it hurts, but he can’t help but keep glancing over at shawn.
shawn’s resting his head against the window, and his face looks dull and exhausted, and every inch of his body feels like lead. he’s so fucking tired of everything, and no matter how much he tries to stop the dam from breaking, he can’t. it takes too much energy to force everything down, and right here, right now, it’s just him and gus and the dark night road, and so he gives up. the ice around his heart breaks - fully breaks - and for the first time in 10 years, he really truly accepts the fact that his father has always, and will always, hate him.
the sobs lurch out of his chest with an amount of force he hasn’t experienced before, and before he can draw in another shaky breath, the car stops and gus’s arms are around him. and he can’t stop no matter how much he tries, and his chest hurts, and he can’t fucking breathe. he clings onto gus’s shirt so hard his nails dig into his palms through the material.
gus just sits there, half in his seat and half on the console separating him and shawn, and he’s holding shawn to his chest like his life depends on it. he murmurs “it’s okay, you’re okay” and “i’ve got you, i’m right here” and “it’s not your fault, it’s never been your fault” over and over again, in the hopes that something, some string of words, will bring any sort of comfort to his husband.
he doesn’t know how long shawn cries, but it’s long enough that his back starts to hurt and he has to reach over and turn off the car so they don’t waste the battery. shawn’s breaths are still shallow and shaky, but his grip on gus has loosened and gus’s shirt has begun to dry.
“what do you need?” gus asks softly, face pressed into shawn’s hair.
“nothing, just you.” and he can’t get out any more words than that, but he doesn’t really need to. because gus is the only thing he has ever, and will ever, need, especially now.
“okay,” gus whispers, and he holds shawn tighter.
they sit like that, squished in the blueberry on the side of the road, car barely parked, until the stars and moon brighten, the streets grow quiet with the night, and shawns heartbeat slows and his breaths come out more even.
in the following days, gus can count on his two hands the number of words shawn has spoken. gus does the talking for the both of them, and, thankfully, shawn’s at least okay enough to laugh at a few of his jokes. but it’s not the sound gus has grown accustomed to - it’s forced, a bit hollow, and he knows in the bottom of his heart there’s something missing. some part of shawn has broken and he doesn’t know if it can be fixed.
he takes off a few days from work, and they spend their days watching movies, cartoons, cuddling, and playing games (half the words on gus’s metaphorical hands are “uno”). shawn doesn’t mention psych or his dad.
neither does gus. he doesn’t know what to say. what is there to say? “are you okay?” that’s too broad of a question and gus knows shawn isn’t okay. “do you want to talk about it?” gus knows shawn will just shrug and say there’s nothing to talk about.
when shawn’s ready, he’ll bring it up, and gus knows that. he also knows that the only way shawn will be able to move on from this, is if he talks to henry. gus knows there’s not much damage control he can do unless henry is there, present in the conversation.
that’s the only reason why gus doesn’t just punch him in the face and slam the door when one sunday morning, he finds henry on the other side of the dark oak doorway.
shawn is in the shower and gus can hear the water turn off as he meets henry’s eyes with a tired glare, and so gus steps out into the hallway with him and closes the door.
“what?” he asks stiffly. and all of a sudden he’s 18 again, in front of the man who he’s just told he hated.
“can i talk to him?” henry quirks an eyebrow up, shifting in anticipation of entering their apartment.
gus defensively steps backward, hand blocking the doorknob. “why?” he asks.
henry sighs. “gus...”
gus’s lips are pressed in a tight line and he doesn’t respond.
henry sighs again. “look, i- i was wrong, okay? can you just let me apologize to him?”
“what, so you can say you’re sorry and then just do it again two days from now? no thanks,” he snaps.
henry frowns and opens his mouth to respond, but gus beats him to it.
“no, look. i know how this works okay? you’re an ass, shawn’s upset, you barely apologize, and shawn works like hell to find some ounce of forgiveness so he doesn’t have to deal with this feeling anymore. and then it happens again. and again. and i’m not letting you do it anymore.”
henry’s pretty shocked, so all he can say is gus’s name again.
gus shakes his head, and stabs a finger in henry’s direction. “no. you will walk in there, apologize, and mean it.” every word is stiff, harsh, and direct. “and then you will never talk to him again.”
henry blinks.
“not until you make an appointment with a therapist. and even then, you will only talk to shawn if he wants you to.”
henry’s still silent.
“this, all of this,” gus waves his hand around them, “is on you. it’s your fault, and it’s up to you to fix. shawn does not owe you anything.” gus pauses. “are we clear?”
henry’s never been met with this much authority before and he’s also pretty shook that he may never be able to see his son again (because he knows gus and he knows he’s dead set on these rules - this boy is the sweetest person henry’s ever met, but he can ice someone if he really means it. (i mean, he and gus lived in the same city for years after high school and gus did not see or speak to him once, and santa barbara’s not that big)).
and so henry kind of just blinks and says “okay.”
and gus’s shoulders relax just a fraction of an inch and he nods his head curtly. “wait here.”
when gus opens the door, it’s his intention to go find shawn and explain what’s going on, but instead, he finds shawn in the hallway, a shocked expression on his face, clearly having heard everything.
shawn kind of just blinks at him, and gus sighs and gently grabs his arm, leading him to the bedroom. shawn gives him a questioning look as gus shuts the door, and gus frowns and says, “he doesn’t get to hear all this.” (maybe it didn’t make a lot of sense, but, gus was mad, and he didn’t think henry deserved any more information in regards to anything shawn was thinking or feeling, so he didn’t want him to overhear their conversation).
gus asks shawn how much he heard, and shawn says everything. gus makes it clear that in no way is shawn obligated to hear henry out or accept his apology. but gus also makes it clear that shawn needs to do something about all of this (he also suggest therapy to him too - the irony that both spencer men are in desperate need of therapy and that madeline was a therapist, is not lost on him). he tells him that he knows shawn isn’t okay and shawn agrees.
for the first time, he actually admits that things with his dad can’t be ignored and that he needs help. because both gus and shawn don’t want shawn to go on like this.
and so after they talk, gus let’s henry in and henry apologizes. shawn’s still quiet and obviously awkward and uncomfortable (it’s not often he hears henry admit that he’s wrong), but he mutters “thanks” and before henry can try to awkwardly hug him, gus pushes him out and locks the door.
he pulls shawn to his chest and shawn melts into him, finding comfort in the only person that has ever mattered to him. shawn kisses gus’s collarbone softly, head resting in the crook of his neck, and he says quietly, “i love you.”
gus squeezes his husband tighter, tells him he loves him too, and then kisses him softly.
gus makes them waffles, makes shawn an appointment with a therapist, and they resume their star wars marathon.
for the first time in four days, shawn makes a joke. and when he joins gus’s laughter, it’s the same sound gus had memorized 25 years ago. it’s bright, happy, and bubbly, and it fills gus’s chest with unwavering love, but also a hope he’d thought he’d lost before.
things were going to be okay - gus was sure of it.
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askjdhfk i was NOT expecting to write this much but apparently i have Thoughts about this.
anyways, i absolutely love this concept and i love you for sending this.
(also “shus is married because i said so” bABE IF THATS NOT ME EVERYDAY)
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roswelldetails · 4 years
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RNM 2x08 - Say It Ain't So
EPISODE SUMMARY:
JAMIE CLAYTON GUEST STARS — Despite promising Liz (Jeanine Mason) that he’ll take things easy with his new heart, Max (Nathan Dean) sets out to find Cameron after learning that she’s gone missing. Michael (Michael Vlamis) grows concerned about Maria (Heather Hemmens) after a surprising discovery about her family history leaves her vulnerable. Elsewhere, ready to move on, Alex (Tyler Blackburn) goes on a date with Forrest (guest star Christian Antidormi), and Rosa (Amber Midthunder) makes a decision about her future. Rachel Raimist directed the episode written by Eva McKenna & Christopher Hollier (#208). Original airdate 5/4/2020. 
DETAILS:
Rosa's secret identity:
"...Cousin Rosalinda from Arizona. My mom married a minor league baseball player, but when he got relocated to a team in Florida…"
"Okay, you know what, let's just go with, they're dead."
This is a Twilight reference.
Rosa about the Mean Girl's art in the cave:
"That reminds me of Stephen Powers before he sold out."
Stephen Powers is a former street artist who went commercial. Some examples of his older work here:
Other examples of his newer, more commercial work here:
By the way, speaking of the cave:
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And this is some fabulous visual storytelling right here:
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Max is working at the Wild Pony. Temporarily, of course.
"Turns out debt collectors don't care if you've been half dead in a glowing pod for a few months."
So much for the headcanon that Max "I've been driving the same car since high school and am a homeowner before 30" Evans is good with his money. 😆 Debt collectors don't show up that fast… not that I know from experience or anything.  😳 *backs slowly away*
Iris refers to the cave as the go to hang spot for all the artsy weirdos. So it isn't like it was specifically Rosa's cave/hidden spot.
It's the first time we've seen this particular cave other than in 2008 flashbacks.
Iris Sanchez & Rosa Ortecho. Flower, Mexican family name. 😭 The hint is there!
Also 👀 from:
The iris earned its name from the ancient Greek Goddess Iris, a messenger to the gods who was thought to use the rainbow as a bridge between heaven and earth...these flowers were named to honor the Rainbow Goddess and bring favor upon the earth.
Mimi made Maria take back the necklace.
"She said that it was too late for her and that I needed it more."
Michael has seen the necklace before, but he didn't know what the flower was when he fixed the clasp and returned it to her in 1x10.  It was 1x11 when they learned of the existence of the anti alien pollen. Michael reminds us:
"I know this flower.  Its pollen has a paralytic effect on alien abilities."
Once Maria takes it off, she can name every card Michael pulls from the deck.
Maria lists off a bunch of necklace facts from past episodes that fandom has previously noted...
Her powers were heightened when Michael had the necklace in 1x10. 
She wasn't wearing it when Noah invaded her at the gala.
And she wasn't wearing it at Woman As Warrior in 2x02 when she sensed that Isobel was pregnant.
"Kyle said you aren't an alien."
Fact. Kyle did say that.  It doesn't mean that it's a fact that Maria doesn't have alien DNA in her though.
Kyle determined that her blood doesn't carry the alien protein that's in the Pod Squad and Rosa. He is making an assumption that the protein is tied to being an alien.
He said he ran other tests, but the results would take longer to come in. 
Also, just a personal theory, what else do Rosa and the Pod Squad (and Noah) all have in common? They all spent significant time marinating in a pod full of goo. Rosa (10 years), Pod Squad (at least 50 years), Noah (60 years). Kyle has not studied any samples of alien biology from an alien who didn't spend time in pod goo. It's possible the protein is related to the pod goo, moreso than the alien biology. Again, just speculation on my part.
Maria confirms that her mom started getting sick when she was 18, just after she passed the necklace on to Maria.
"If this prevents you from having more episodes, it probably stops the neurodegeneration process too. It's not kryptonite, Maria. This is preventative medicine. Keep it on."
In 2x06 it was established that in addition to Sanders' place being a junkyard and a mechanic/auto shop, they also do tow truck service.  Now that comes into play again as Michael was hired to bring Cam's car back to Roswell for the investigation into her disappearance.  He brought it to the junk yard first though to give Max and Liz an hour to check the car for clues before the sheriff's department comes to collect it.
Max is smart too, in his own way. He quickly identified that "Agent Powell" was driving a rental car and that her gun wasn't government issue. 
However, it's only when he sees her tattoo (which Cam told him about in 1x07) that he confirms that she's actually Charlie Cameron!
(10 points to fandom!)
Max & Liz's conversation with Charlie is mostly just reminding us what we know about Charlie and Jenna's relationship. 
Liz indicates that Jenna had been looking for Charlie for months.  Charlie responds that she didn't want to be found (both things we learned in 2x04 through Cam's discussion with Jesse Manes.
Max indicates that Jenna thought that Charlie hated her, a call back to us first learning about Charlie and the matching tattoos in 1x07.
"I worked on a controversial project a while back. A lot of dangerous people want to know what I know."
(Again, stuff we learned in 2x04).
They learn through Cam's text history that she was looking for Jesse Manes (which we already knew, because...2x04).
"I'm just a guy standing in front of a tourist trap asking a history buff to shoot him with high velocity paint."
Tongue-in-cheek reference to the movie Notting Hill.
"So, you're cool playing war? Doesn't bring anything up?"
"Oh, yeah, my PTSD triggers are a little more complicated. Suffice to say, this war zone is the only place that my family actually got along when I was a kid."
"Yeah, some of my old platoon buddies actually play in leagues."
"I didn't know that you served."
"Yeah I wouldn't go bragging about it to a guy with a Purple Heart. I might have googled you."
New information… both that Forrest served, that he looked into Alex (which could be innocent OR sketchy…).
And of course this is the first open discussion about Alex's PTSD issues.
Cowboys versus aliens paintball… Alex is the cowboy, so Forrest must be the alien.
The call that interrupted Forrest's attempt to kiss Alex was from the hospital. Hence why Alex goes there to see Jesse.
"Look, if I had a little lucky charm that could stop people like Noah from messing with me, I would have that surgically implanted into my décolletage."
Have to admit, I wasn't sure what décolletage meant, so in case anyone else isn't familiar: 
"These abilities are a part of me. I'm not gonna just throw away the chance to learn about who I am. That make sense to you?"
"Yeah, actually, it does."
"You've gotten stronger this year, right?  Can you teach me to train? Learn how to control it all?"
"Look, it took a lot of practice before I could do anything without puking and guzzling acetone to kill the pain.  And you can't practice, because according to Kyle, every time you do it eats your brain."
"Look, I'll stop before it goes that far, okay? I know the signs. Besides, if you help me, maybe I can help you. There must be something that you want to know about your future."
"What about my past?"
Max meeting with Jesse at the Crashdown. This is super interesting because it's the first time Max has sat down, face to face, with a hostile human who knows he's an alien. 
"My uncle used to bring me here. That was back when it catered to a more civil clientele. People who actually respected the history of this town."
This is likely foreshadowing what's to come next week, based on the promo pics released.
Again, similar to the scene with Charlie at the junkyard, much of this exchange between Max and Jesse is just reminding us of stuff we learned in 1x04.
"The last time I saw her she came to me with questions about her sister.  And I told her that the people most interested in Charlie's device were a black ops group based out of Los Alamos. They're called Deep Sky. This is their logo. Paramilitary. And I told Jenna that what she was getting into was gonna be dangerous. But apparently she didn't listen.
Note: in case any of you are unaware, in Los Alamos there's a US DOE lab that has a long, sketchy history of weapons development.  Makes perfect since that it's where a paramilitary organization interested in Charlie's research would be based there.
The Deep Sky Logo
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I compared this to a number of screenshots of alien symbols (like the ones we saw in Jim Valenti's letters in 1x12) and there were no matches.
However, fandom has already noted that the logo matches Trevor's ring in 2x06 (see that episode's details post for the photo).
"Charlie Cameron's mind is a unique specimen. Kind of like you. And there's always someone in the shadows waiting to crack those open."
"What did you do to Jenna?"
"I told her the truth. Which is more than you ever did. You're kind of a wolf in sheep's clothing, aren't you?"
"And what are you? Do you feel like a hero? All those people you tortured, all those people you killed. Turns out none of them were an enemy.  They were refugees. So you're not just a murderer, you're a failure."
"Yeah, I know. I am. But I tell you, something shifted in my brain when I had the stroke.  All the hate's gone out of me. All the fight. Caulfield is over and my son Flint has been reassigned. Look at me. I can barely walk."
Liz and Charlie in the car:
"Waitressing's really got to blow when you've grown a fully functioning heart muscle in a lab.  Or are you not the same Elizabeth Ortecho who co-authored a 2013 paper on cellular reprogramming? Some people build model trains; I do my homework.  Your boyfriend seems more like the train type."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"We've discovered new worlds and changed the course of mankind from a microscope. Should I go Netflix and chill with my boyfriend or stay in the lab, architecting the future?"
"No offense, but if it's true that you've been in prison and in hiding, it does not seem like you've seen much of the inside of a lab either."
"I went too far.  I thought I was building something with real value. The thing is, anything that has the potential to create real change, it scares people. And anything that scares people is inherently dangerous no matter what your intention is."
"You could start over. Get a new identity, work at a research university."
"I've done extraordinary things. Everything ordinary is ruined now."
More exposition that we already know as Max catches Charlie and Liz up on what he learns from Jesse.
"He said Cam is headed to Los Alamos to investigate a group called Deep Sky. Does that mean anything to you?"
"No. Let me reach out to some of my military contacts, do some recon. Give me a day, we'll go from there."
Liz and Michael, in the lab, on The Science:
"I'm looking for the sample of yellow pollen."
"The stuff I swept off the floor after throwing it at Noah? I don't know. I didn't see it while we were packing up."
"Well it was here a few months back.  Did I miss an experiment where it grew legs and a fondness for the outdoors?"
"Could have been accidentally thrown away. Sample was too oxidized to be of much use, and I've been trying to get my hands on fresh flowers, but it's impossible. I think they might be extinct. Why are you freaking out?"
"Because I have a math problem. There's only one flower in Maria's necklace, but there are two DeLuca women and apparently the flower is the key to preventing their illness. This is everything from the Caulfield drives and the experiments done on Maria's grandmother. A lot of it was lost in a lab fire in the '80s, but…"
"I'll take a look."
(Aside… 👀 Lab fire in the '80s. I have a feeling that's more foreshadowing.)
"I just want you to see if anything done could be undone. I don't want you to, like, Dr. Frankenstein it. The experiments were very bad."
"My days as an alien scientist are officially over."
"Why don't I believe you?"
"'Cause it's hard not to think about the far-reaching implications of this kind of research. You don't get sick on this planet. If I could figure out why, I could eradicate all illness."
"But you can't. Because that would expose us."
"Which I would obviously never do. It's over."
Arturo's text to Liz:
Have you seen our little mouse?
"Rosalinda" is late for her first shift.
Isobel and Maria go to Michael's trailer and Isobel shows Maria the newspaper clip of Michael's mom to try to trigger a vision.
"It's not working. And I don't feel great going through this stuff without Michael knowing."
"Why not? One day this palace might all be yours."
"It's not working.  I have a business to run, and you need to go Instagram something."
"Says the social media revitalizer. Listen, word to the wise, every time Max saw Liz in a skirt and tried not to pop a bulb, he wound up setting off a fire alarm. Everytime I push myself too hard, I miss time, or wind up accidentally realizing that my mom still thinks about her ex-boyfriend Rocco, like, in vivid detail."
"Okay, where are you going with this?"
"Effort doesn't equal control. So if you want to do this you're gonna have to embrace your inner ice queen and let it go."
"I'm not great at letting things go."
"Yeah, I know.  That's hard…"
Maria's vision:
Triggered by a t-shirt hanging in the trailer.
Louise is hanging laundry
Walt runs up to her and gives her a little windmill with her name on it. (Initially I thought her name was pressed or punched into the metal, but on second viewing, it looks like it might be puff paint or something similar.)
Walt runs off to find Nora and Louise goes back to hanging laundry.
After the vision Maria's nose starts bleeding.
Max goes after Charlie to stop her from turning herself in.
I wonder if his tire screeching action guy driving is supposed to be emphasizing to the audience that he's not being as cautious as he should be? 
Deep Sky said that if Charlie "...wasn't at Sutter's grain depot by 11pm, that they would torture (Cam) to death."
Charlie heard on the call:
A train rolling by
A demonic laugh
And somehow that's enough for Max to magically know exactly where Cam is.
Alex and Jesse at the hospital:
"Hey, they said that you mixed whiskey with your medications.  That's not like you."
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"I don't know. I mean, you're my father. I can't seem to shake you."
"Yeah. I failed."
"Yes. But in what way specifically?"
"Uncle Tripp. I let him down. I never could figure out what he needed of me. And tonight I went to the bunker.  And I keep trying to crack the code."
"Liz said that you spoke to Max Evans. She said that you were half decent to him. Is that what this is about?"
"One of them killed Tripp, you know."
"An alien? Yeah. Then he hunted them. He dragged them to a torture chamber. I'm not surprised one of them…" 
Jesse slams his cane.
"He was the best man I ever knew.
Jesse tries to stand and falls into Alex, then continues to walk away.
The location that Deep Sky is holding Cam looks like a rodeo or horse arena or racetrack with a big grandstand.
There are nearby train tracks, and a warehouse where a mechanic repairs old carnival rides.
As Max and Charlie are scoping out the area you can hear both sounds softly in the background.
The sniper was watching and shooting at them from the grandstand.
Charlie is shot in the leg.
"Let me go get her."
"No. Deep Sky wants me alive. Your brain is worth considerably less to them which means it'll be splattered all over the dirt."
(Oh the irony...confirming that Charlie doesn't know that Max is an alien.)
"If anything goes wrong, call Liz. No doctors."
Max does shoot the sniper!
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And then uses his powers to knock out the power (and instantly feeling it in his heart when he starts to use his powers!!!!!!) which, as @angsty-aliens very eloquently pointed out, is absurd because there was a big red lever that would have done the same thing. *facepalm*
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Cam on her kidnapping:
"The last thing I remember is this weird sound. It made the hairs on my arm stand up. And this bright light, and the pain in the back of my neck like you wouldn't believe."
Cam's burn is fractals.  Like Liz's burn from Max's powers in 1x03. Top is Liz's fresh burn in 1x03, bottom is Cam's not-so-fresh burn in 2x08. Keep in mind, we don't know how long Cam was missing for.
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Rosa and Iris at the "art show".
"So you said you're from Roswell?"
"Oh, I was from Roswell.  I got out and went to art school as soon as I graduated. I work for an artist now. I help her run her gallery. Yeah, I used to want to be a painter, but then I realized I loved curating art way more than I ever loved making it."
👀 I wonder what this says about Rosa's internal motivation. If Iris is the life she wishes that she had, does she not want to be a painter? Or is that her internal insecurity rearing its head.  Like, she can't even dream about that possibility because it's what she really wants above all else.  Which is why Iris then motivates her to paint and prove to her inner self that she is an artist? 
Speaking of which, here's Rosa's painting from the episode. Mucho gracias to @rosaortecho for giffing it for me since it wasn't cap-able in a single shot.
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Iris's assessment of Rosa's art:
"This piece is you outrunning your demons. This is amazing. That's what you have to do.  You have to capture them and rattle the cage.  This is art. This is what you're meant to do, Rosa!"
Rosa's hallucination starts to fall apart as they dance.  She starts coughing and having trouble breathing.
"Your star sign's just out of whack."
Play on lyrics from God of Wine by Third Eye Blind, which was heavily referenced in 1x02. 
The direct quote is "your star sign's out of whack" and the next lyric is "a fraudulent zodiac"
Which, of course, is what Rosa had written on her hand before she died in 2008 and is a reference to Ophiuchus, which was Noah's zodiac obsession.
And then Liz finds her overdosing in the cave. 
The coughing in Rosa's hallucination was from smoke inhalation.  Because while passed out she started a fire with her powers.
Feels like a good time to point out that it's the same cave that she died in back in 2008, and she would have died there again if Liz hadn't found her. 😭
At the hospital Rosa tells Liz that she wants to go to rehab, but she knows she can't since she can't control her powers. 
Liz gives her Maria's necklace to borrow since it will suppress her powers and allow her to go to rehab.
Alex and Forrest at the Wild Pony:
"I still have my dad's voice in my head telling me that being seen with a man in public is an embarrassment. To my name and my uniform."
"Well, there's nothing like a dad voice to mess up a perfectly good date."
"It's also just that...I mean, Roswell's so conservative. This bar is filled with cowboys. If you want to go someplace private…"
"Look, I like you. But I don't want to climb into somebody else's closet."
"I cannot tell you how badly I want to be done with this frickin' closet."
"But you're not. And that's okay. Really. Listen, if that voice in your head ever shuts up, give me a call. Because between you and me, making out with a hot guy in public is only made hotter when it pisses off all the bigots and homophobes."
Charlie took off and left a note for Jenna. According to Jenna it says she's gonna disappear again and not to look for her.
Arturo is taking Rosa to a rehab center that Kyle set her up with "a few hours away".
Max tells Liz "let's go home." So… did she move in with him??
Liz says no though.  She says she has to open the diner and cry alone.  But instead she goes to the secret lab.  
Both Max and Liz were evading the truth a little bit here.  Liz didn't tell Max that she wanted to go to the secret lab.  Max didn't tell Liz that his heart did wonk out after using his powers and he did overdo it going after Cam. Bad Echo!!
Liz goes back to packing the secret lab up initially, but then her eyes fall into the Caulfield folders, and she stops. 
She unpacks her stolen equipment (genetic sequencer?), puts on her lab coat, and sits down to start reading the file.
Isobel brings Michael beer as a peace offering, since she's coming to admit that she helped Maria trigger a vision.  She thinks Michael will be mad, but he isn't because he and Maria already worked it out.
So Isobel tells him about the vision and seeing Louise, and specifically about Walt giving Louise the windmill. 
Michael immediately reacts, goes to a shelf, and grabs a similar windmill.
Turns out Walt is Sanders.  He pulls up in his car and Michael immediately confronts Sanders.
"It was you. You're Walt. You're the little boy in the photo.  You knew my mother."
And Sanders nods.
10 more points to fandom.
Max goes to Charlie's hotel to confront her about turning herself in to Deep Sky.
The windmill in both scenes. Until I put this together I didn't think they were the same one (because Louise's name isn't on Michael's. But other details (like the word weight on one of the legs) are the same.
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"You think Deep Sky needs to have Jenna by the throat to kill her? Okay, the only way that I can protect her is from the inside."
Then the "abduction scene" happens.
It mirrors what happened to Jenna in 2x04, only to Max and Charlie.
MUSIC:
1.  Hole "Celebrity Skin"
2.  Lukas Nelson & Promise Of The Real "Die Alone"
3.  Shelly Fairchild "Worry No More"
4.  Marc Danzeisen "Some Things Last Forever"
5.  Joey Sykes "Sign Of The Times"
6.  I AM ORFA "Like That Look"
7.  Danny Ayer "Set Us Free"
8.  Hamish Anderson "Trouble"
9.  OMC "How Bizarre"
10.  Muscadine Bloodline "Movin' On"
11.  Little May "Hide"
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