#i've played that benchmark so many times.....

[eorzeanflowers]

Benchmark time for me! Lily looks so good! I'm excited for her. :D I still will get the problem of light sources on the right side or the character put on the right side, but I'll live.

A few others below the cut!

Archie looks the same tbh. Not a bad thing! Just a thing.

A'tyla is much more rounded! And its lovely. She's got a good upgrade coming, that's for sure.

Eulanne's mouth looks a little wide... but she wears a mask normally anyway, so its not that big a deal.

Jana just looks perfect. 10/10 no notes.

Might be just my bad eyes, but Beat didn't get that much of a glowup. Might be the hair hiding the light sources on her face.

Mai looks fantastic however.... But only in collared outfits. The update really makes those without hair framing the neck well just look... tiny.

Myste looks like a dork. He needs his mask. (Secret eye color showing! :O)

Lucca is another great glow up. Gonna say, tho. How they changed the camera placements and adding the block to the one scene for Lalas was kinda funny.

Glifet is a bit more rounded, and its eyes brighter. Which is kinda a lose/win scenario. I'll be fine, just not the glow up like some others.

Gonna continue the other half in another post, I hit the image limit if I try to put everyone in one. >.>

[crescencestudio]

๋࣭⭑ Devlog #43 | 7.30.24 ๋࣭⭑

tis the season of crescence x fenir

It's peak hot girl summer time. Not sure how many of you saw the sunburnt art trend going around on twitter, but of course I had to take part in it with the other hot girl in the Alaris cast, Druk.

look at those 34DD's

I drew this early this month, but I am still thinking about it. Let us take a moment to appreciate this gift together.

Alright, now that that's out of the way, let's get into the devlog!

I've been jumping around a lot between different routes this month, but it's been fun since I definitely enjoy the polishing/editing part of writing more than the drafting part. This past month, I got my hands into Fenir, Druk, Etza, and Kuna'a's routes LMAO.

For Fenir's route, I actually have bittersweet, but exciting news! OG Alaris followers may remember I had Vi (of @nextinline-if fame) helping me with line editing. She did an amazing job with Kayn's route, but unfortunately she isn't able to continue working on Alaris due to personal/professional obligations. I, of course, support her and wish her all the best in all her future conquests and am super grateful to have gotten the chance to work with someone as talented and kind as her <3

Stepping in to help is close friend, Allie Vera! Allie helped me with intertwine, and hails from besties' Lost in Limbo and Blooming Panic fame (amongst many other cracked VNs). I'm very excited to get to work with Allie again, and they are already knocking it out of the park with Fenir edits! Everyone please welcome Allie to the Alaris team ^^

On my end, I've been doing my own line editing for Fenir and Druk's routes now that I'm able to revisit the scripts with fresh eyes. As usual, Etza developmental edits continue forward, and we're getting into the last stretch. We've added in a lot of cute moments and really fleshed out the romance more so Etza's romantic side can shine <3

With Kuna'a's route, I'm doing the same-old, same-old. Fleshing out scenes, ironing out plot details, etc. Because I was bouncing between so many routes this month, I didn't have as much time to sit down and really Write Kuna'a's route. But I will say I'm already pretty happy with the script. I've added a couple more emotional beats and, in general, have been connecting plot points that already make the route feel stronger, so I'm excited for you all to eventually see it!

My little notion word tracker showing word goals (left), actual word count (center), and words left to write (right)

In the last bit of exciting news for writing, we are approaching an exciting milestone!!! I told you all when we started Kuna'a's route, we had approximately 100k left so were finally getting into the "double digits". Well, now we are approaching the last 50k!!!! All of the routes are ~50k, so 50k is my benchmark for one whole route. It's exciting to see that we are getting to the last bit AUUGGHHH

As you can see, the writing front was pretty busy this month. Because of that, I wasn't able to make much headway on art. I do have this sneak peek of a Druk CG, as I try to make progress on his beta!

licks him

Final count for CGs right now is 20, though! Out of an estimated 54. So we're slowly approaching the halfway point, which is super exciting \o/ And this doesn't include the handful of CGs I already have sketched up and just need to be rendered (sketching is the most time-consuming part for me, so once a sketch is finished, the CG is basically done in my eyes LMFALSIDJ).

Finally, this past month we've been working on Fenir's beta testing!! It was his birthday month this past month, so happy birthday to our little grumpy guy <3

Birthday piece gifted by Extremely Talented @endys that I still cry over. If you haven't played Snow White Ashes....... WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??

Beta testing has been going well. Here's a couple of gems from feedback so far:

giggles like a madwoman

he's like a little kitten in a wet cardboard box all alone

Kayn, looking at Fenir: I want that twink Obliterated... so cute.

If you'd like to try out his beta, sign up for Hydra on my Patreon!

The beta will be running a while longer as I make progress on Druk's beta. The time span between Kayn and Fenir's beta was about a month, but honestly trying to get the beta out in that amount of time while balancing the rest of dev kinda killed me. So Fenir's beta will be running for a bit longer than a month. I'll let you all know when Druk's beta will go up so that you can hop in on Fenir's before it ends if you want. But just remember, each beta route only runs for that period of time, so get access to it while you can!

For market research this month, I played a couple of games but unfortunately haven't really had time in the way of fanart <\3 I'd like to get back into doing that since I feel like it helps me with art progress in general, so we'll see ;(

I do want to highlight a game that just dropped its demo this month and is currently running its Kickstarter! I'm sure many of you have heard/seen Save the Villainess on your timeline, and I hope you all check out the demo!! The art is stunning, as many people have said, and the premise is super interesting, inspired by many villainess manhuas.

If you're into darker stories, meta-commentary, and murder mysteries, please consider checking out and supporting the devs (@bestlaidplansproductions) as they've worked incredibly hard on this game!

As you can see, a lot of this month was spent on writing. With where the routes are at right now, I'm thinking I'll be able to focus more solely on Kuna'a's route this upcoming month and finally get that knocked out of the park. I also hope to make progress on the CG front! Wish me luck there... LOL.

That's all for this month! Hope you're all doing well (and surviving the many heat waves hitting the world), and I'll see you all next month <3

[daddyelliott1979]

Daddy and Boy; what's it like to have the other?

I really want these posts to set a standard, to be a window into our lives but also set a benchmark for what these relationships look like.

I want to start by sharing something from @squirtdaboi

Baby Riley

When my daddy asked me to write about what its like having a daddy i initially didn’t know what to write about. But after giving it some thought i have to say this.

Ive found myself being so much happier and its so nice having that crutch in my life. That one person that always there for me is so reassuring.

He makes me giggle, smile and blush all at the same time. He does these little things like playing with my hair and giving me tummy rubs when my tummy hurts.

The way he changes me is so fun!!!! He blows raspberries and puts cartoons on for me and he dosent care if i am stinky!! If anything he makes me blushy and encourages it! He helps me push my boundaries and be more confortable being myself around others!

He tucks me and my teddies in at night and he checks on me if i wake up. Oh!!! The other night he even changed me while i slept!!! Just knowing how gentle he was and the care he puts into our time makes everything so much better!

If I’m feeling anxious in public he makes sure I’m okay! He makes me squirm and get embarrassed but it doesn’t upset me, it makes me happy.

Bath times are great. I get to play and enjoy myself! Daddy pretends to hate when i splash him with water but i know he secretly loves it!

He makes me feel loved and happy and safe and when i go to see him i feel at ease and i can be tiny and not have a problem.

He also helps me with my ‘big feelings’ and is always there for me. He recently bought me 2 sets of earbuds to help with my sensory issues which he didn’t have to do!

He helps me figure out trains for coming to see him and we are currently looking at getting me a tablet too!

He’s so helpful and doesn’t mind listening to me talk about my problems and things that are going on. He lets me talk until I'm happy and then i can go right back to watching bluey.

He helps me push me to my limits when going out in public and lets me explore my way of doing things. He doesn’t force me to do anything at all. It’s honestly so nice.

I guess the main thing im trying to say is….

HE IS AMAZING!!!

Daddy's thoughts

Honestly reading that made me cry, I know this was a lot for him to do, but once again he proves he's such a sweet little boy and not the "bad" kid he's made out to be!

Here's what this boy means to me, in the short while that he's come into my life, he's turned it upside down in the best possible way!

His cheekiness makes it impossible not to smile, his smile makes it impossible to not feel happy, his whole face lights up as he barely contains his joy; and it's beautiful!

When he's here I have to stay close, and if I'm close he's got to snuggle, and I get moaned at if I don't. It's completely adorable!

He gets squirmy in public and tells me "shut up" emphasis on the "shuuuut uppp" hehe. It's adorable to watch!

He genuinely needs me in so many ways, so much that he makes me feel like a real Daddy, something I've not felt since my son was little.

The first time he said "I love you Daddy" made my heart melt, it came out of nowhere just as I was about to rush off to the corner shop for an emergency supply of wipes- he was very stinky and feeling very little.

He has the most adorable giggle, there's nothing better than giving him tickles!

He's not kidding about the splashes, I really do love how I end up wetter than him at bath time!

And at bed time I have to snuggle with him, he snuggles into my chest and stays there all night, sometimes I'm convinced he can't get close enough. The other day he turned around only to come back with my giant doggy stuffie, scooting in so I had to cuddle them both; and somehow he took up 3/4 of my bed and left me a sliver!

Honestly I love it when he comes, I hate it when he leaves; even though he's only 30 minutes away!

He's such a special boy, he's warm, he's kind, he's sweet and he's just a boy, who needs a Daddy to love, care and protect him! And I get to be that Daddy!

And that's freaking awesome!!

[tekutiger]

There's something I've been wanting to post here for about a week now, but I've been putting it off, waiting for the Dawntrail Benchmark to release. (That can be found here btw: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/topics/detail/ffe3a1a5430a5a8168ca9782ab9ec0e57cd5be62)

On the official Square Enix forums (both English and Japanese), there is an entire thread for the Graphical Update Viera Noses. Our communities are not exactly thrilled with the changes, to say the least.

The (current) last page of the English thread can be found here: https://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/threads/493947-Graphical-Update-Viera-Nose/page19

The first page of the English thread can be found here: (or you can just go to the link above, scroll to the bottom and click "First") https://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/threads/493947-Graphical-Update-Viera-Nose

I tried checking here on Tumblr if this had been posted already but the FFXIV tags are spammed so much 🫠

The Japanese thread link is within the EN thread somewhere, I forget which page.

If you play a Viera, you've probably noticed that your beloved WoL doesn't quite look the same- specifically the nose, and to a lesser extent with their eyes.

That's all pointed out and discussed in the thread. And yes, I did voice my opinion to it 🙃

I'm trying to find some comparison screenies of my bunboi and fembun to contribute here.

The thing I was worried about, and still kind of am even after going through the benchmark- is the strange "shine" you see on bunboi's noses in certain areas, or at random times. I couldn't find any rhyme or reason to why or when this would happen 🤷🏻‍♀️

We were also shown a preview of bunboi's with their nose like 7 shades darker than their skin tone and that didn't sit well with me. Between that and the shine? No. Just no.

This is current graphics 👆🏻

Another thing I noticed in the benchmark is that they removed the colored eyelashes from Face 1 (the face I'm using on my bunboi). It's literally like, 1 of the 2 primary reasons I chose this face to begin with. (They usually match your hair color.)

Dawntrail Benchmarker 👆🏻

You can see some of this "so called shine" in some of these, but it's not as bad as I thought it'd be originally. I guess I can live with it and over time I'll probably get used to it.

I can probably even get over the fact that his white eyelashes are gone, though I'll miss them. I don't know... 😖

I do appreciate the updated quality of the hair, and the iris/eyes, and his facial feathers. I also like that the added "lip color" I gave him appears to be matte and not a gloss, but I'm not sure how other people will like that, lol.

ALSO. There's a very specific scene in the benchmarker that shows your WoL's face so much better but for some strange stupid reason you cannot take screenies during it. I feel like SE really let the ball slip there.

There's probably a reason for it, and then again there might not be- because if I really wanted to, there are loop holes and I could still get those screenshots if I had more time, Lol 😅

Current graphics 👆🏻

I don't have a plethora of screenshots of my fembun like I do of my bunboi- but looking at my fembun specifically I'm realizing her bunny nose doesn't seem that prominent, even now? I guess I thought it was defined more 🤔. Perhaps it's the lighting of this specific shot.

I was going through this phase of changing her hair color from red to yin yang colors, back to red, back to yin yang, rinse & repeat, so...

Dawntrail Benchmarker 👆🏻

Again, I appreciate the high quality in the iris/eyes, hair, facial features- like her tattoos.

It does seem like the highlights in her eyes get a little lost, if that makes sense? The anime type white reflection. Not just for her but for my bunboi too. I think that goes for all character now- I've seen this commented about all across Twitter (yeah I know it's called X, but I'll never call it X).

Her bunny nose seems to disappear in many scenes and then it "seems" to be there in some scenes. I don't know what to make of it.

I feel so wishy washy with this graphics update. There are parts I like and parts I dislike. At this point I'm wondering if it's that whole mentality of "People dislike change" / "People fear the unknown" and over time we'll get used to it.

But also, I've seen some comparisons of people's characters and the overall appearance, the overall vibe of their character has totally shifted. It's understandable they're upset.

I want to offer a couple of pieces of advice here. If you have any commentary to add about Vieras (or any other characters really- like moon kitties got royally shafted on their fangs)- please visit that thread and put your two cents in. Hopefully SE will see it and potentially listen to the community feedback. But in the case of Moon kitties, there's likely a respective thread for them so you'll have to seek out that thread.

The other thing is, take advantage of this benchmarker in tandem with our free fantasia (coming soon). I feel the character creation screen does not properly display what our characters are going to look like once ingame. Do not take the character creation screen at face value. Create and/or modify your character in the benchmarker (you can save your character data). Play it out- make sure you're happy with how they look in the benchmarker. Then go on and use that fantasia. You can load the saved data from the benchmarker into the real game. (unless they changed things, which I highly doubt)

Edit: Adding in some links to other threads ⤵️ (Its been mentioned by others that it's best to keep posts pooled in one thread vs. spread sporadically out across several threads. If SE or Mods are likely to read anything, it's going to be in one centralized large thread.)

Thread: [Dawntrail] Miqo'te face 4 Keeper nose smudge nerfed

Thread: Benchmark/Graphics Update - Lip shape concern and eyes

Thread: Keeper fangs nerfed in the update

[mikeywayarchive]

Mikey Way talks bass heroes, 'Bowie moments' and his signature Squier

By Matthew Parker published February 27, 2013

My Chemical Romance's bassman interviewed

Full interview under the cut:

BASS EXPO 2013: My Chemical Romance are a band that have polarised opinions, angered newspapers, formed an army of extremely loyal fans the world over and managed to keep their heads in the process. But despite their formidable live reputation, their musicianship is often overlooked in favour of whatever controversy the press has decided to attribute to the band that month.

In attempt to rectify this, we spoke to bassist Mikey Way and picked his brains about his early influences, his gear preferences and the development of his signature Squier Mustang bass.

What's your very first memory of the bass guitar?

"My very first memory of the bass guitar - I was about three years old and heard Another One Bites The Dust by Queen on the radio. It was burned into my skull from that moment on, and became a benchmark for bass lines in my mind."

Do you remember the first time you made a breakthrough with your bass playing - the first time you thought 'This is for me'?

"My first breakthrough with bass playing was during one of the first MCR practices in December of 2001. Gerard [Way, frontman] and Ray Toro [lead guitar] both coached me, as I hadn't had a great deal of bass experience up to that point. When I got the picking pattern/timing for [early MCR track] Our Lady of Sorrows down, I had a total 'wow' moment and knew not only did I love it, but I would play the bass forever."

What, for you, is the key to be being a good bass player?

"In my opinion, the key to being a good bass player is rhythm and timing. Bass is what the drummer plays from mostly and everybody goes off the drummers beat."

What MCR song has presented the biggest challenge for you as a bass player and why?

"I would say the song that presented the biggest challenge for me was Planetary (Go!) [from MCR's fourth album Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys]. That song takes a great deal of dexterity to play live, and in turn has made me a better player."

MCR has, for better or worse, had a variety of drummers in its 10 year + history. What impact has that had on your role in the band's rhythm section?

"I can honestly say it benefited me greatly. I've played with five drummers in MCR, either onstage or in the studio and jammed with countless others. They each had different styles and nuances, so I was able to learn a lot from each of them."

Gerard has spoken before about 'Bowie moments' - the 'pinch yourself' experiences the band occasionally gets to enjoy. What have been your favourite Bowie moments with MCR?

"I have been very fortunate to have had many of those moments in our career thus far. Some highlight 'Bowie/pinch me moments' being -the reveal of The Black Parade in London back in '06, headlining Reading and Leeds in 2012, being the first American band in 30 something years to play Vietnam, and being the last band to play in Time Square before the ball dropped."

Have you ever met any of your bass playing heroes? Who's inspiring you currently?

"I've been able to meet many of my bass heroes through the years luckily! Matt Sharp's bass playing on the first two Weezer albums never fails to inspire me."

Do you have a favourite bass line of all time? What is it and why?

"Oh wow, this is a toughie! It's so hard to pick just one, but any of Louis Johnson's bass lines on Michael Jackson's Thriller album take the cake. They are still stuck in my head to this day, after hearing them almost 30 years ago. They are powerful and infectious."

What do you look for when you're buying a bass?

"When I'm buying a bass I look for equal parts sound, playability and vibe. Not only do I want it to sound and play amazing, but its an added bonus when it has interesting "battle damage" or an interesting color pattern that I've never seen before."

You recently released a signature Squier Mustang bass. How did that come about? How does it feel to have your name on a guitar?

"Before, we were discussing 'pinch yourself' moments, and getting my own signature Squier Mustang bass is on that list. I had been sponsored by Fender through most of my time in MCR. I had contacted them about making a custom bass and they hit me back saying they wanted to give me a signature model! To me, this is one of my greatest accomplishments.

"I started playing electric guitar at 14/15, and it was a Fender Stratocaster. My first bass was a Squier P Bass and I haven't used anything but Fender onstage ever since. To say its a tremendous honour and privilege would be an understatement. At least once a day I think about it, and it makes me smile ear to ear."

What is it about the Mustang bass that draws you to that model? What features were you keen to incorporate?

I was drawn to the Mustang because, simply put, they are a hell of a lot of fun to play - especially in a live setting [and] I've always really wanted a Mustang, with a humbucker, and a competition stripe (it's classic and classy!). I've always been in love with flake/sparkle finishes as well; so if you stir all of that up in one - you have my signature model."

What other bass gear do you use? (Amps, pedals etc.) And why?

"As far as other bass equipment - I use the Fender Super Bass Man. From the minute I took it out of the box I was in love, and won't use anything else. Not only does it sound HUGE, but the range of sounds and tones you can get is uncanny. Highly recommended.

"As far as pedals go, I always love the Memory Man and Bass Big Muff/regular Big Muff from Electro-Harmonix. I've been using a Big Muff for distortion since I started playing the electric guitar and swear by it."

Do you use your signature bass on stage?

"Yes, I absolutely do. It's my weapon of choice, badge of honor, and good luck charm all rolled into one."

[felikatze]

Plusquam Chapter 7 director's commentary because i adore being a blabbermouth

hi hi hello. i am going to talk about my fic and nobody can stop me but i don't want to turn the ao3 author's notes into their own 30k novel so yelling on tumblr it is!!

if you are interested in SOME of the machenations of my enigmatic mind, feel free to read. If not. Well i don't care really it's your life. I'm writing this for MY enjoyment.

First of!! I dunno if I talked about them before!! (I have the memory of a goldfish). The silly codenames!!

As I may or may not have mentioned before, the inspiration for this came from the Project Thabes mod for Awakening. In the ferox duel, the mod replaces the generics with inigo, severa, owain, and gerome. The awakening trio get their fates names (a coward's move, but one i understand), but gerome is named michalis, which i just enjoy soooo much???

so when i initially planned out for all the future kids to band together with lucina, i decided they all had to have codenames! otherwise there's really no point in lucina having one....

merric for laurent was the biggest no brainer of all of them, with caeda for severa being a close second. feel free to interpret why. gerome was obviously taken from the thabes mod, and the rest were... a challenge... to come up with!

owain actually gave me a lot of trouble. what WOULD he name himself? i've not finished shadow dragon myself (I only played the prologue so far... haha...), and most i know of the cast comes from mitosis. and scarf's new mystery lunatic reverse run on youtube. and it was that run that reminded me. that kris's confect is an item in the game. meaning that awakening era people know kris exists. except wasn't kris' deal that they like. did not want to be noted down in history.

hence kris being a "heavily debated historical subject". which of COURSE owain would name himself after an unsung but vitally important hero of the shadows.

others i may discuss as they come up? eh, we'll see. not every future kid is gonna be important (god knows that's way too many characters for me to handle), but they will be There. main focus of course being the fp3 squad, with the addition of two others. it is very obvious who it will be, i think.

next up, pairings!

most pairings werent set, outside the ones that are my obvious favorites (panne/lonqu, henlivia, chrobin (duh)). others were up in the air and just happened as i wrote. as i thought about gerome in this, and chatted about the subject with friends, frederick/cherche came to be for this fic! (and for the shrek au, oddly enough. it may have just been on my mind, and i thought chrom missing freddie's wedding was funny.)

it suited my purposes best if gerome had a stronger emotional tie to the blueberry siblings, and a knightly duty to protect them served just that. hence the dialogue of lucina being his liege. he's so utterly disinterested in getting to know the people of the past that i needed that extra bit to keep him coherent. he won't get close to anyone, but he'll do anything to support lucina's aims as though they were his own.

which brings me to the next subject, lucina's PoV! This is the first perspective switch in all of plusquam (not just because I couldn't meet my 4k benchmark with morgan alone this time). Since Morgan and Lucina act separately and won't encounter often, I needed the extra time to establish her character here. To me, there's a clear dissonance between how Morgan views her and how Lucina is. Both of them are unreliable narrators to varying degrees, yet how they differ is where the meat is.

Like, for example, Morgan completely rejecting that Lucina is Robin's child as well, and not just Chrom's, because Grima told them Lucina was different. As compared to the actual Lucina still deeply affected by Robin, and even engaging with grimleal theology on an even field because of him and the other plegian influences in her life.

there's also the matter of her narration style. I waffled back and forth on whether to give her second person narration as well, but ultimately decided on third person limited, with a catch - she exclusively refers to everyone, including herself, by their codenames.

in both their perspectives, i want to create separation between their original names and who they act as. With morgan, this succeeds because the viewpoint has no need to mention their name whatsoever, and with lucina, it succeeds because she's the one creating that distance in her own mind. it's fun to play with!

ah, siblings. so different, yet so similar.

as for the pronouns situation on lucina's pov. well. schrödinger's transgender.

minor thing. i hate adapting canon scenes close to script, hence me just freestyling when lucina and co meet chrom and squad. there's also just... no future portal risen roaming about, which would've made the point moot anyway. that's a very interesting consequence to play with.

having an endless army of generic undead is lame. having to draw on the actual dead of the immediate area - now we're getting spicy!

despite everything, i have grown attached to the risen wyvern and its chittering ways, but it sadly has to go. there's a reason morgan never named it. farewell my sweet prince. aurgh. i mean. this thing has been with morgan through the entire past so far. and it just fell apart more and more over time. crashing into a wall and breaking its neck, having half its throat torn out - poor thing. good thing it can't feel pain anymore.

that is, i think, all i wanted to blabber about? if you're a reader of plusquam, hi, i love you, i hope you have a great day, you may summon me for one turn of battle without expending an action and i will appear as a shimmering blue specter to protect you from harm.

that's all!! see you next time!! as usual, if anyone has questions of their own, or wants to yell at me for hurting their feelings, shoot me an ask, a comment, or anything at all! see ya!! ily!!

[stormbabylore]

Left to Right: New Benchmark, Current State, Original Benchmark

The new benchmark is leaps and bounds better than the original, in my personal opinion, and I'm exceptionally grateful to those who put in the hard work to bring us these massive updates so quickly. I've held out hope for the last month that the new benchmark would give me the ability to see Aeryn with the same excitement that others felt looking forward to their characters' graphic updates in Dawntrail.

But I'm just not there. Though she looks significantly better, there's still something "incorrect" about her expression causing my messed up little brain to reject her. I've stared at her with a highly critical eye trying to pinpoint why I feel this way, and I've landed on this: most (though not all) of the changes I personally see in her appearance are caused by an interpretation formed about how certain lines and features on her face must be due to how shadows previously appeared on them - shadows which are now drastically different and highlight her features in a different way from what I previously perceived.

Examples and additional rambling behind the cut, if you don't mind me being insane about this.

The new rendering of her eyelashes looks thinner, and the shadows they cast on her upper eye are less intense, making more of her iris visible. Additionally, her lower eyelids appear slightly more rounded, especially toward the inner part of her eye, where shadows originally made it seem the eyelids straightened out and then very slightly curved down - the opposite of now, which appears to be more of a continual upward curve. Combined, these all give her more of a wide-eyed expression than before.

The new shading of the bags under her eyes makes them (and her eyes in general) look more bulbous. They didn't seem to protrude quite so much before, with a focus more on subtle highlights that caused the bags to be most visible in brighter scenes or in stark, overhead lighting. (I'm looking at you, Prae.) These were often situations where it felt appropriate to showcase how tired she might be feeling; but otherwise, in most scenes, they didn't stand out so much. They're now very obvious, visible from every angle, and they stand out even in night views.

I personally see a slight change in the line of her nose, most visible in the 3/4 up-angle shots. It used to have a minuscule inward curve along the ridge and turned up the tiniest bit at the end. From the front, it looks like her nostrils used to tilt up more, giving the impression that her nose was slightly narrower, despite the fact that it does, in fact, take up the exact same space on her face. Finally, the bolder shadows along every part of the nose give the impression that it is larger and protrudes further along the bridge - though, again, that is definitely not the case.

I very much miss the wider dip of her upper lip (which I have learned today is called the philtrum). It gave her expression a certain softness, whereas her benchmark lips look gently pursed to me. There was also a barely-there upturn at the corners of her lips before, or at least the impression of one created by the stronger, "dimple-like" shadows at both ends of her lip-line. That slight upturn is very evidently gone (noticeable especially on her profile) and makes her look far more serious and even severe. The more I stare at her, the more I think this (perhaps along with her eyes) might be the change that bothers me the most.

I can't comment on her face shape with any reasonable accuracy. Sometimes I think her face feels rounder, but then I rotate her and think perhaps it's actually thinner? The chin throws me off, and I think the angle of her jawline feels higher - but that (like so many other things) might just be a false impression based on the illusion of lines created by cast shadows, which now just hit different.

Colors, of course, also play a role in some of this... but I'm not going to waste time comparing skin, eye, and hair tones now that we know there's been a shroud on the character creator that impacts how things look in the original (center images). I did briefly attempt to find a less "pink-leaning" hue for her skin now that the shadows don't dilute the warmth of the coloring in quite the same way, but I didn't find anything that felt any closer to the original iteration.

So there are my unnecessary and overly-analytical observations about my WoL's appearance. It's not a criticism of the graphics at all, which I admit look pretty darn stellar. Again, massive kudos to the entire team of individuals involved in all this work - it means a lot that they take fan feedback and really work to make this game amazing for us. And most of my alts look incredible! So does this character, in her own way? If I never had the original version of Aeryn and didn't know her so well, I'd probably be fine with how the character on the far left looks.

She just doesn't feel like my character.

Of course that might change. As I mentioned while I was trying to work through my dejection following the release of the first benchmark (here), there's a very real possibility I'll just "get used to it" once this is the only version of her I have available. I can definitely see her somewhere in there, trying to peek through; and maybe when I see her in the actual game environment, I'll feel differently. Or maybe I'll reevaluate and decide she just looks "older," or that she's tired, or some other such nonsense that would cause a change in her overall aesthetic as the story progresses.

But as it stands, I'm undecided as to if I will continue to play her or not. I had paused for a long spell on my goal to power through EW before the graphics update, and I think I'm going to resume it, now. I've been reasonably assured by a good friend that EW reaches a solid finale that could be a conclusion for the WoL's story. (Noooo spoilers, pleeaaaase.) If that turns out to be the case, it might be nice to give Aeryn an "ever after" and let this be the conclusion of her adventures... if I find I really can't resolve the notion of playing with her like this. (Goodness knows I have plenty of alts to fall back if I don't bring Aeryn into Dawntrail!)

But I will be so, so very sad to end my main's story, if I decide to do so. (ᴗ_ ᴗ。)

[turtlemagnum]

remember when cyberpunk 2077 came out, i played it with steam family share from my (at the time) girlfriend's account. beforehand, i had gotten a GPU for christmas, an AMD RX570 4GB that i managed to talk my mom into buying me since it was on sale/used for about 100 bucks. turned out, the shitty prebuild desktop i had been using didn't even have a slot for a GPU, much less the physical clearance or a strong enough power supply. i told my dad, and since this was around 2020 he had just gotten a stimulus check. he had claimed me on it and got more money, even though he didn't have custody of me. my mom was pissed, but made the mistake of saying that it "would've been spent on me anyways", so i told him that and thus was born my current PC. he spent the entire goddamn stimulus check on it, including the mouse, keyboard, and screen. my mom was pissed, i didn't care because i wasn't living with her anymore and i had this baller new PC. the bottleneck, was, of course, the budget oriented GPU that i myself provided. i remember, a little while before he even told me he had built the damn thing, i saw a video where a guy did benchmarks on a PC with 32 gigabytes of RAM, and i thought to myself "wow, why would anybody need that much". as my mentioning of this implies, the PC had 32 gigs of RAM, and frankly i appreciate it purely because of how many browser tabs i have open at any given time. anyways, cyberpunk 2077, i forget what the recommended specs were at around that time, but looking at it now it says an RX580 as a bare minimum. that sounds about right, because i vaguely remember thinking something to the effect of "well, mine's only slightly weaker, should be fine! :)". well, it technically ran. i hit 30 FPS looking at a blank wall, and that was if i was lucky, but i definitely got used to the choppy 10-20 after a while. was still fun. i remember there being a hell of a lot of ludonarrative dissonance, what with the whole story being "you're a dead man walking, you're a weak link in a big scary world, you're sooo soso powerless in all of this", meanwhile i broke the difficulty with relatively little effort and was able to smack basically everyone with a baseball bat and kill em in one shot. one of the more fun broken aspects of the game was this glitch, i think it was called the khop. you know how in botw speedruns, if you use bullet time before bouncing off of an enemy and resume time, it sends you flying like a goddamn rocket? and it's because the momentum being applied in the slowed time gets sped up, so when time starts moving normally the speed is just multiplied. it was a bit like that, except it was a lot easier because slowing time could be done just by pressing a direction twice, and instead of requiring an enemy you just crouchspam and now you're flying like superman. was honest to god one of the funnest unintentional movement mechanics in a game i've ever used, rocket jumping couldn't even compare. again, really added to the whole disempowerment narrative the game was going for just not working

[memoirs-and-memories]

hey, older sister speaking!

Most unrealistic title ever, I'm... not really much of a talker. Most 'older sisters' I've seen aren't either. My mother, her mother, my other grandmother's older sister.. Sure, three other people who are (totally coincidentally) related to me might not count as evidence that can be extrapolated to a general population but hear me out, let's circle back to me.

I've always felt like I grew up a little too soon. I won't go as far as to say I didn't have a childhood because I did, a beautiful one at that. But I outgrew so-called 'childish' things sooner than others around me did. I think that's partly why I still cling to the solace of animated Disney films and why they seem to offer so much peace, somehow. I started speaking sooner, and as the years rolled by and new additions were made to the family, I spoke lesser.

In school I made friends but I was picky about who I was close to, it somehow never crossed more than three people at a time. I was always the quiet one, be it in the confines of home, school, family gatherings, you name it. I always joked about my sister speaking enough for the both of us, but it wasn't untrue- that was the way things were and I was genuinely happy with the way it was.

It never just stays as simple as 'She talks, I don't' though, right? Suddenly I was the oldest out of a whole horde of little devils, as tiny but formidable cousins appeared into the mix. They were all so much younger, I couldn't connect to them the same way I did with my sister. I bonded with them the only way I found made sense to me- this did not involve a lot of peer-like playing, let me make that clear. Often I felt like a whole generation older(in the case of the youngest, I painfully am a whole 10 years older).

Being the older sibling out of two came with more intricate struggles as time took its course. Any academic milestone, I crossed it first and my sister was left to try to meet it or preferably beat it. We've already established her as very vocal, right? My 10th grade results were met with uncontrolled sobbing. Not by me because my marks were bad (they weren't)- it was by my sister because my marks were good and it wasn't fair that I got them without writing the exam and that she would have to write the exam and get better marks.

Story of my life. Well, she's in her 10th grade, writing her exams now. And there's something quite nice about being an older sibling that I realized a few days ago. I don't want her to meet the benchmark I set. I realized that I want her to beat the benchmark by so much that it's almost embarrassing, but it's so amazing to think that I'd be so beyond happy for her that it would leave no room for embarrassment or jealousy.

My cousins (sisters, but let's say cousins for technicality's sake) who are 5 and 6 years younger respectively are very very likely to cross my height in the near future. So far, being tall is kind of my 'thing' but much like the clothes that are bought for me that I outgrow and pass onto them, I'd like these things to be theirs too.

Before this becomes too long (although I'm afraid it might be too late) I suppose all I wanted to say is being an older sister makes you understand love in so many different ways. You know what it's like to love like a mother even before you are one, and I think that's such a cool thing. So what if being an older sister means I'm a little on the quieter side? I wouldn't have it any other way.

[sinceileftyoublog]

Laura Jane Grace Live Preview: 2/16, Sleeping Village, Chicago

Photo by Travis Shinn

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Laura Jane Grace's debut solo album Stay Alive was--and sounded like--a product of the pandemic. Her inability to record with her Against Me! bandmates resulted in an album full of great songs that you couldn't help but think demanded a bigger sound. Her second album Hole In My Head, out today via Polyvinyl, in contrast, exudes sheer purpose. With a mix of solo acoustic tunes and "full-band" songs inspired by 50's and classic rock (Grace sang, played guitar, and played drums alongside Drive-By Truckers bassist Matt Patton), Hole In My Head is at once reflective and worldly. Grace had the opportunity, post-pandemic, to workshop many of the songs live before recording them, and the result is a collection filled with a sense of place, vulnerability, and humor.

Yes, Hole In My Head has a lot of reference points. Grace wrote the songs in and sings about Amsterdam and St. Louis, and namedrops a beloved Chicago hot dog joint and an auditory phenomenon tourist attraction in Tulsa. She interpolates George Harrison and Cheap Trick and uses Elliott Smith and the Red Hot Chili Peppers as emotional and cultural benchmarks. But they're all just part of her increasingly stellar storytelling and confessionals, fighting insular tendencies by embracing feeling. "Dysphoria Hoodie", released before the album was even announced, encapsulates the dichotomy well. Though the namesake clothing item is a trans person's go-to garment to prevent the world from speculating on their gender, Grace opens up her inner monologue: "When it says A.D.I.D.A.S on my chest / All day long I dream of sex / When I’m not thinking about Jesus," she sings. "Cuffing Season" and "Tacos & Toast", meanwhile, occupy two sides of the same coin, the former seeing Grace diving deep into a relationship, the latter featuring her crossing out an ex's tattooed name to celebrate her birthday.

All in all, Grace does a lot of looking back. "Punk Rock In Basements" doesn't quite yearn but remembers her start in the DIY scene, Grace singing over handclap percussion, guitar jangles, and backing shouts. On "Hard Feelings", she sings, "Mother, mother, mother I've ruined my brain / With alcohol, weed, porn, and cocaine / Staring out windows / Staring at screens / I've passed right by everything I've seen." It's not so much a downer as a reminder to live for now. Fittingly, the album ends with Grace standing at The Center of the Universe, screaming at god, unable to be heard by anyone else, existing for herself and nobody else, alone by choice.

Grace celebrates the release of Hole In My Head tonight at Sleeping Village. Deanna Belos opens with a Sincere Engineer solo set, as does local bedroom pop band CalicoLoco. Doors at 8:00 PM, show at 9. At the time of publication, you can still join the waiting list for a ticket.

[roseofblogging]

Measuring Up Short

I've battled with wanting to Be the Best (like no one ever was) for much of my life, probably all the way back to when I was a kid watching shows and playing games where the main character also had a quest of trying to be the best. Sometimes they actually were the best, and sometimes they weren't, but they were always trying. I'm pretty ambitious by nature, but not in a healthy way, I don't think. I imagine a healthier version of ambition is consistently challenging yourself without shaming yourself for not meeting lofty goals. It probably comes with more reasonable benchmarks for progress, and is more inward-focused than on outward results. And I try to embody that. I think I succeed sometimes.

But trying to progress while keeping negative self-talk at bay is so exhausting, and it's not something I can easily maintain if other things are compounding my stress and worsening my mental health. If it's something impacting only me, I try to take a break. (I think I succeed at that maybe 20% of the time I try. Actually resting without shaming yourself for it is hard.) But as I've gotten into competitive Splatoon and assumed the captain position of the team, I often feel like I have to keep going regardless, solely because of the pressures I place on myself to be there for others. (Note to self: maybe figure out a co-captain situation.)

We're nearing the end of the groups stage of LUTI (Leagues Under the Ink--a competitive Splatoon tournament in which people are sorted into divisions based on skill level and then have a match each week). I'm very tired. It feels like you need to commit a lot of your time to it in a way you don't have to for a tournament that has you play a bunch of matches for a couple hours. If you find out morning of that you are just not feeling it, you can drop out, no harm no foul. But I feel way worse about wanting to drop from LUTI, because matches are planned out in advance. We're on week 5, the last* week of the group stages. (*Last, unless you're in our situation and due to various circumstances with three teams, we've had to reschedule 3 out of 5 for the "Reschedule Week" aka Week 6.) I rapidly picked up a new weapon, our whole team is sort of figuring out how to play in the current meta, we're having to adapt, and it's been a gigantic struggle in which I know all of us have things to improve, but I'm just gonna be way harder on myself.

But why are we so often the hardest on ourselves? Why is that such a relatable struggle? I suspect some of this has to do with my ADHD and the underlying trauma of undiagnosed neurodivergence as a child with comorbid anxiety. Something about how we see other people doing things and it (seemingly) coming more natural to them, but we have to put in so much more effort to put on a good face, make friends, be social, do well in school, pretend to pay attention, etc. and when the mask slips, it feels really embarrassing. Because if they can do it, why can't I? I used to think I've been so judgmental of myself because I was pretty judgmental of others, but I think it's actually the other way around. I think I've been way harsher on myself from a young age, and then that developed into being spiteful at other people when they either do things effortlessly or don't even bother putting in the work like I have. Because if they're not working hard, then I have to ask why I care so much about being perceived as good at something.

But then there's all the other stuff I do. So many of my creative projects stall out and make me think no one would care if they came to fruition. Streaming on Twitch often feels like a slog (and makes terrible money, but at least that's like a "part-time job"). My freelance dayjob has me working on constant projects without ever feeling like I have room for a real break, or no client seems to have anything for me so I have a ton of free time yet feel guilty about that, and it pays terribly, too. I wish people were excited to engage with stuff that I've worked on, but I just never really get that vibe from others.

Anyway, this is probably the last time I do LUTI. Time to stick to occasional weekend tournaments and practices rather than working super hard to practice 3-4x a week, just for another match to be rescheduled (not that those teams are being malicious--just unfortunate timing) or for us to get our butts handed to us.

how does one properly take a break? like a real break?

thank you for reading whatever this tangent is; enjoy this gif of two adorable kittens!

[fizzingwizard]

(Complaining)

Today I got to work. The first hour was teaching my extracurricular class. Then I went directly to my homeroom class, taught their lesson, then sat with my wigglers for the next teacher's lesson because otherwise they run around in the back of the room screaming. (IMHO our school expects two year olds to sit for lessons for way too long. It's 45-50 min total. But I've suggested at least breaking up the lessons before and am always told no by the leaders. I do let the wigglers check out and go read a book or do a puzzle when they really can't sit, because I just think it's ridiculous that two year olds should have so little freedom... but Japan... anyway)

After that I had to frantically get ready for our craft and activity time. Usually I do that during my co-teacher's lesson, but this year there are too many wiggly kids, and my third co-teacher tries to help but because we have so many kid she also has too much she needs to do during that time... After that, we get ready for lunch. Got a lot of kids this year who refuse to eat anything but rice. More than usual. So lunch is pretty much us standing to observe and sneaking quick bites of our own lunches when we can between helping kids eat and encouraging them to eat a teeny tiny bite of literally anything besides rice.

Then they play. We have to take them to the bathroom, clean the tables and chairs, clean the floor, pack away the lunches, change the diapers, log information about lunch and daily activities in their individual notebooks, help the kids pack their bags, and refill their water bottles, while watching them play. Then we do a gross motor activity, then we read a storybook, and then the kids go to nap time.

It's four hours of constantly moving, talking, standing, squatting. Never sitting, lol. Now we do our best to convince the kids sleep is a good idea. I stay through part of my "break" finishing those notebooks. Then I go do my cleaning duty. Then I go to the computer and fill out the required report on our day. Then I have to do 20 assessments, go through all the photos we've taken so far to make scrapbooks of 24 photos for all 20 kids, organize all their crafts and worksheets into the scrapbook, review and upload our class time videos for the parents, plan events, go shopping for materials, make the materials for the next craft, write the newsletter for the parents, and create my lesson plan for next month. I have an hour to do this. I am not being paid for this hour. (Also it's often not even a full hour, but 30 min here, 15 min there.) It is so fucking impossible lol. And the assessment and stuff, it's worse because it's redundant as well as ridiculous. We JUST assessed the same sort of stuff in the kids' progress reports less than a month ago, and now we have to do it all over again with very slight variation for every single kid, AND this assessment will be used to evaluate the kids' readiness for next level, which is just silly because the majority of those who haven't reached certain benchmarks yet will have reached them by the end of the year... utterly silly.

So during this hour I do as much of that as I can, which today meant I did the reports, did some lesson planning, and managed to finish ONE assessment. I have sooo much left to do. When when when. Where is the time for it. I'm not paid a salary. I'm hourly. They literally expect me to do it on my unpaid breaks and whatnot. And it's not even stuff that can be accomplished in an hour - especially when everyone else also needs to accomplish the same things, we're all off duty at the same time, and first come first serve at the computers haha.

Now that hours up, so I go to wake the kids, all 1-3 yos, from their nap. One of the kids throws a tantrum, so my co-teacher takes him outside. They're gone for fifteen minutes, which is precious time right now because there is, again, so much to do. Wake all the kids, get them in their shoes, sitting at the table, drinking their water. Clean up their futons. Take their temperatures. Document stuff in their notebooks agaaaain. Hand out allergy snacks. Hand out home snacks. Hand out school snacks. Check everything off on a plethora of checklists. As they finish, wipe their hands and faces, make them drink more water, help them clean up, check their diapers, change their diapers, watch them play, send them home with their parents or to extracurriculars, clean up the crumbs, clean up the tables and chairs, clean the floor, vacuum, clean up the garbage, watch the kids play.

Because the co-teacher is gone for 15 minutes, I'm the only one, the ONLY one, taking care of all the kids who are eating. I have a kid who will stuff his mouth so full of food that he'll start to choke, so I have to diligently give him one bite at a time until he's finished, in between cleaning. There are two other teachers in charge of diapers and the notebooks (who for some reason just didn't do the notebooks today?? I'm not really sure what happened there). It's supposed to be two and two, so there's no one to help me. I have to do all the cleaning, wiping, diaper-checking, and breaking down by myself. By the time my co-teacher comes back, she's off duty. So I have to deal with tantrum kid too, whose current mood is "say no to everything." He screams while I desperately try to put away all the tables so there's room for kids to walk, and sweep the floor so they don't have to walk on squashed grapes and cake. Between doing all the overseeing and cleaning myself, I was on my feet doing physical stuff for 55 minutes. Usually we're cleaned up in 40 minutes. Ah, there's that 15 minutes. (Not my co-teacher's fault though - the kid needed to be taken care of. It's just that we're expected to do SO MUCH in a single hour.) Also it's really freaking hot, and yeah we use AC, but there's a lot of bodies in the room and when I checked the thermostat, some alien person had set it to 25. I was like nope nope 23, 23 it is. Suddenly the room was a lot more bearable (9_9)

So now I can FINALLY sit down with the kids who are playing. It is literally four minutes till clock out time. I find a kid who threw a fit about changing his diaper, who I'd managed, while cleaning up, to cajole into doing it by himself. He had put his diaper on backwards. I tried to fix it, he tried to run away, he fell and started to cry. This is that kid with the hypersensitive parents I've mentioned before. Guess when his mom decides to arrive? Yup, just that moment.

She acts fine, I fix his diaper, he stops crying and goes off happily. When I go to clock out, I see mom changing his entire outfit. The parents have told us that if their kid sweats, we need to change his clothes. We already change kids' clothes if they get wet or are sweaty. Today we didn't go outside because it's too hot. Their kid didn't get particularly sweaty staying inside. His shirt wasn't wet at all. But the mom changed all his clothes. I am bracing myself to hear about it tomorrow.

But I keep thinking. When the hell was I going to think to change this not sweaty kid's clothes?? At what point during the day did I have a moment to do anything except frantically run around doing as much as I possibly can? I have not sat down all day except to work through my break. I've eaten nothing but a little bit of rice myself because lunch time was so busy. I'm exhausted, hungry, and hot. Someone give me a break to change my sweaty clothes, lol!

I want to do everything possible to keep the kids happy and healthy but I absolutely have no idea when I or my coteachers had a moment to think about anything not 100% essential. I'm just fried.

I felt a little... not vindicated, but seen, I guess, the other week after some leaders came for yearly observations, and their feedback was that our class is doing great, but I'm doing too much. They really encouraged my coteachers to help me more. And while I am most DEFINITELY doing waaaay too much, it's also too much to expect more of co-teachers, because the veteran teacher is also doing a lot more than she should be, and the rookie has only been here a month. She's trying but she hasn't developed the skill for behavior management yet, and she doesn't know how to anticipate what I'm doing. Plus I know she is EXHAUSTED everyday. Last Friday she was so anemic that she had to go lie down and I stayed late to cover her shift. I don't blame her one bit. This is too busy and fast-paced a school for a first-timer learning the ropes. I'm glad it wasn't my first school. She is working really hard and doing so well, and my other co-teacher is amazing. It's none of our fault we just have TOO MUCH WORK, not enough time, and not enough staff.

I'm just counting the days until Obon break, ugh.

[ltcmdrashleywilliams]

🔥pasta

🔥tv

🔥cats

Sorry this is so late, I'm bad at remembering to open tumblr 😭

🍝 Pasta isn't as bad for you as many like to say, health wise. It's all about how much of it you eat and how. I love pasta. I lost 50 lbs 2 years ago and still ate pasta regularly 💜

📺 I love being able to binge bc of my intense hyperfixations, but I really miss the weekly ritual I used to have for most shows as a kid. I wish more shows on streaming platform released weekly. I'm starting to see it a bit more these days, though

🐈 Only an unpopular opinion amongst people who don't have cats, but they're not assholes or all that independent. People just like to use dogs as the benchmark for what a good pet looks like and don't stop to consider that cats aren't dogs. They communicate differently and have different needs, but every cat I've ever met loves spending time with their humans and, yeah, if they're bored they're gonna find something to play with. Just don't leave shit that can be knocked off a shelf where a cat can reach it?

[sincericida]

AG turned 40 last year, has suffered bereavement, and lastly and not for the first time, is perhaps feeling contemplative about the meaning of it all. Seems like going through some things.

I say we all chip in and buy the man who has seemingly *everything and yet nothing a flirty sports car. It has several advantages: can be used to get away from it all, pick up age appropriate-fan approved dates (any gender as that's none of my business), can be insured against damages (unlike one's heart), and is just fun. I call dibs on the back seat as I need a place to store the cast iron skillet. I got your back AG; no paparazzi, scammers, heart breakers, and cold-hearted witc...bitc...sketchy people allowed to ride...

J/K. I'm making light, but the guy has a life and it's a shame it's all too difficult to keep it private (for various reasons) if that is his wish. Does it have to be one or the other? I've said before that it does not--that there are ways to keep that separate. Much more difficult if those around one don't honor that; but then again, that's where respect and boundaries for others come into play. Some folks disregard boundaries; think the concept is square or for losers. I say **it depends. Of course it depends. Have seen too much callousness played off with a nonchalance when real people have been hurt or harmed. But in this very specific case, we simply do not know and likely never will. That's okay. This too shall pass.

*(besides all the accolades, a terrific stylist, and outstanding taste in suits and watches which are all somewhat material things save for WAB's listening and sympathetic ear) So what's one more benchmark material $$possession?

**Points if you can name the movie from which those two lines were taken.

You’ll have to tell me about the movie, I have almost half a century of life and there are so many works watched /read/heard that - although it’s familiar - I couldn’t catch that in my mind.

[poluticus]

🪤🔪🔫 - Panelis

Ask Game Link here!

🪤 What will always lure them into certain danger? A loved one in danger? A promise of something they are always searching for?

[They shrug, clearly dispassionate despite the gravity the question implies] I go into danger if asked. That's the only pre-requisite, really. [Their languid recline quietly freezes, if only for a moment, as they contemplate if there were something that would trump the weight a demand would place upon their shoulders, but they shake their head and shove the thought out of their head before they dwell on it too long.]

🔪 How do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? Do they put themselves at blame?

[The question right after they were thrown slightly off kilter freezes them up. Their mouth hangs open, willing words forth that don't come. A cocktail of vulnerable self loathing fighting against dissociative apathy clash in their eyes, before they sigh and lean their head back to the sky. Their hand pushes back against their forehead, threading through their hair and applying pressure to the source of the disconnect. They are present. They are here.] I... I guess it depends, but as a general rule of thumb, I prioritize damage control regardless of who the misfortune befell. If they're still around to lament whatever happened, then I try to be present but also give them the space to process the incident. As for blame... I guess I both do and don't blame myself. I do in the sense that tragedies are so often domino effects propelled by many players, and if something fell I certainly had a part to play. Yet at the same time, disaster is inevitable and that fact doesn't go away just because I'm present. If anything, it's probably the opposite; I seem to invite misfortune in the world around me. Maybe the wild magic's been quieter these days because it's been infecting my karma instead. ...Is karma real? I don't know. [A rush of air cascades from their lungs as they lock eyes with you] I'm assuming your next question is along this vein.

🔫 Do they trust people easily? How easily will they turn their back to someone? Have they been backstabbed before? Will they betray someone if given an ultimatum?

Right. Okay. [They sigh.] No. I don't trust people. People are out for their own interests, and the moment they think you, or I, or anyone else will serve to get in their way, they will discard and stamp out that force. Trust, just like anything else, is a currency, and the average person is all too willing to cash that in for some other benefit that affects their immediate life. I think the only exception I've seen to this in the Agency is Ogun. That man is so selfless it's genuinely staggering. I don't get why he does it, but I respect his drive. I make my objectives very clear and obvious to my fellows: I am here to achieve the benchmark set by the company that paid for my time. If they act in such a way that is irrelevant or detrimental to that cause, I don't consider leaving them behind a betrayal, even though they might try to say otherwise. That said, I will prioritize saving lives over completing a task efficiently, and I care more about saving the lives of my allies than the lives of strangers. Backstabbed... [They chuckle, mirthlessly] How's that monkey's paw theft for a backstab? Ace is wise to not come on any further missions. He is a danger to the sanctity of the mission and I wouldn't hesitate to put him down if the situation called for it. If we're talking about what it'd take for me to take an action that would be perceived as a perceived backstab, then it wouldn't take me much at all; my coworkers only deal in their own interests, broadly speaking, and I'm not here for their interests. I'm here for the Agency's. I wouldn't be surprised if anyone perceived my abstinence in the Bolique mansion as a betrayal. But if you're asking what it would take for me to betray something that has my loyalty... [they fold their arms] My word is my bond. The only thing that can separate my allegiance is a betrayal of my own trust, or a bond of stronger weight demanding my loyalty's severance. I would tell the affected party immediately, stronger bond willing, but... yeah. I think that's the only thing that could actually make me turn my back against something I've pledged myself to.

[stiitch]

Adopting More Open-Minded Approaches to Databases

Recently, I was introduced to time series databases such as InfluxDB. It made me realize that I haven't really broadened my understanding on databases and available options too much at all since I learned SQL in college. I don't have an in-depth grasp on time series databases, but after playing with the open source version of InfluxDB I was pretty impressed.

Features

InfluxDB offers a fairly well thought out product. As a NoSQL database, it doesn't have standard tables. Instead, it stores datapoints at a specific timestamp. That timestamp identifies a point in any given data series. Your writes can choose how granular you want your timestamp to be (ie. attribute data to a minute, second, millisecond, etc.).

BUCKET - you can create multiple buckets to write data to

MEASUREMENT - you name what kind of measurement this is

Now, you could have multiple measurements happening at a single timestamp. In this case, you would have different tags separating your data.

Lets say you saw a litter of like 8 cats. They were really fucking cute and you weren't gonna let them just rot on the street. Alright, you bring them home and you gotta feed them. You make an auto-feeding IoT device. You suspect your hoodlum street cats of stealing from the source though. So, you log the food your device spits out. Suppose your device has cat detection too. Each time a cat comes, you can tell which cat it is.

You can have the tag name along with the measurement of how many kibbles dispensed. This might look like this:

food_dispensed,name=luna pellets=28 1434055562000000000

So the measurement is called "food_dispensed", the name tag is set to "luna", and the field "pellets" has a value of 28.

Limitations

Of course InfluxDB isn't perfect. There's rarely a one-size-fits-all solution in tech. InfluxDB offers create and retrieve operations that are very easy and nice to use along with your choice of many client libraries and 2 query language options. However, if you need to use Update and Destroy operations, you're out of luck. They're very optimized for speed so they offer none.

Another known issue is data with high cardinality. Luckily, there are other options to choose from such as TimescaleDB which offers promising benchmarks over InfluxDB with regard to cardinalty.

Polyglot Persistence

As more unique services come out more frequently then ever, it feels like applications need to start leveraging every small piece of innovation wherever they can. To this end, we see applications broken into smaller microservices so that different services can use different tools to improve the work they do. Why would databases be any different? I'm no the first person who thought of this and it's an idea that's been around for quite a while. The first I read about it was here on Martin Fowler's blog.

With developers using a lot of distributed systems, it makes sense that each part of the whole may have different databasing needs. I was genuinely subscribed to the idea that Postgresql was enough and I would be good. And Postgresql is powerful, but there are situations where NoSQL databases make sense even if it's just for convenience sake. Maintainability is also an issue to consider to ensure a longer lifetime for your app.

Although it may seem intimidating keeping services outputting to different databases, it's worth looking into message brokers. Many databases can integrate well with message brokers like Kafka in order to provide excellent data replication or near real-time updates between different systems.

Conclusion

So there's a lot out there to explore and understand better. As a developer, I'm trying to figure out where to best spend my time to improve my skillset. I don't want to get bogged down to the minute details but I also don't want to gloss over learning opportunities either. Seeing some of the things I've been looking into this week along with my own thoughts written out helps me get more perspective. If you stayed till the end of this, I hope that this helps you in some way.