#ic; where there's smoke there's fire

[flameleads]

@galeleads asked Chris a question: "Madame~!" Cheery disposition, perhaps a bit TOO cheerful. Her energy is up today, which should be a sign that she's almost healed. (She should really be taking it easy, oh well!) "I didn't know you'd be back in town so soon. How was your... vacation?" Yeah. That's a word for it.

Out of the two of them, she supposed it made sense that Aurora was the first to be out and about. Her son's condition made traveling harder for him now, and, despite his claims, he couldn't navigate the city with his eyes closed. Though, shouldn't she be resting too with everything they went through? The reports she heard were nothing short of horrendous. The fight everyone went through...

Aurora knew herself, though. If she thought she was fine, then Chris wasn't about to argue. What she was about to argue had nothing to do with her physical state.

"Too short. And I have a lot of work to do to get the new bar set up." She told Roy not to buy her a new building, but his selective hearing seemed to be in effect when she did. Well, it meant her girls had a place to come back to, and so did her clientele. It also meant she didn't need to go hunting for a new building herself. Paperwork needed to happen, of course, and then there was the matter of vendors, furniture, security...

But, enough of that. She had more pressing concerns.

"Someone seems cheerful. Is that because I'm not the only woman with the last name Mustang anymore?" Oh, she knew. Like hell she wouldn't know her son got married. "Or did you decide against taking his name when you rushed to get married in the hospital?"

[spagheddiediaz]

inspiration saturday!

tagged by @thewolvesof1998

bc i woke up this morning to see that taylor sang you are in love as her second surprise song last night and i was immediately slapped in the face with buddie feels.

i think it will eventually be a full length fic based off the song but anyway please enjoy

burnt toast, sunday

Sleeping through the night was rare for Buck. If his neighbor’s echoing voice didn’t wake him out of a deep sleep, it was a nightmare. If a barking dog outside his window at 3am didn’t do the trick, Maddie drunk butt dialing him after karaoke night would pull him right out of his peaceful slumber. Tonight, though? Tonight was one of those rare nights where his brain was able to shut off the outside world completely as his body sank deeper and deeper into the familiarity of the Diaz couch.  At least the sun was up when he was awoken to the sound of an alarm blaring, his mind telling him to get up, jump into his turnouts, and hop into the truck. His eyes blinked open, realizing instantly he wasn’t at the station bunk room and was instead in Eddie’s living room, a half-empty beer bottle on the coffee table from the night before. He lifted his head, looking around and instantly recognizing the familiar smell.  The smell of …smoke. “Chris - CHRISTOPHER.” Buck screamed at the top of his lungs, his body bolting off the couch before his mind had the chance to even wake up. “CHRIS - EDDIE!” He screamed, knocking down the end table and running down the hall to find Christopher sitting at the kitchen table with a look of pure judgment on his face. Eddie was leaning against the counter, a fire extinguisher by his side as he stared at the piece of completely burnt toast on his plate.  “I.. don’t want to talk about it.” Eddie shook his head, moving the extinguisher back against the wall of the counter.  Buck’s heart was still racing even though he could very clearly see that neither of his boys were in any type of danger whatsoever.. Unless you count having no breakfast as danger. Which.. Yeah. Hangry Eddie could sometimes be dangerous. He went to pick Christopher up, needing to feel that he was safe. Christopher let him, wrapping his arms and legs around Buck and letting himself snuggle into his neck.  Once Buck’s pulse returned to a normal rhythm, he let out a long breath of relief,  his hand rubbing Christopher’s back in slow circles, the movement grounding him.  Chris was older now. And while the days of routine snuggles before bedtime were behind them, Christopher was the most emotionally intelligent kid Buck had ever met. He knew when to give Eddie space, and when a hug would ease his mind. He knew to ask Buck to take him out for ice cream after a rough shift, and when to “accidentally” fall asleep against his side during movie night. Most of all, he knew when and how to lighten the mood of any situation, really. “Buck?” Chris asked, lifting his head from where it was resting in his neck. “Yeah, Superman?” Buck asked, shifting him in his arms. He looked to the fire extinguisher, and then to his father. “Is this… technically ironic?” Buck was only able to keep a straight face for about .4 seconds before bursting out into laughter, having to set Christopher down so he could try and collect himself, but every time he tried he fell into another laughing fit, clutching at his ribs while tears started to roll down his cheeks. “It’s not that funny.” Eddie’s lips couldn’t help but curve up at the sound of Buck’s laughter, his body relaxing at one of his favorite sounds.  “It’s - Eddie. You do realize you just technically worked on a Sunday.” Buck said through his tears, wiping them away with his sleeve. It might not have been a five alarm, but Eddie did just put out a fire. “And without overtime pay!” He teased, knowing damn well Eddie wouldn’t be stepping foot into 118 on a Sunday unless the words “overtime” were spoken.  “I’d put you on the couch..” Eddie glared at Buck, his smile still not fading. “But you’re already there.” “Boom. Roasted.” Chris made a fist and punched the air towards Buck, letting both of them know he wasn’t taking anyone’s side.. At least not openly. “So… Buck. Can you make pancakes?”  “As long as your dad doesn’t go near the stove.” He walked towards Eddie, placing a hand on his waist only to push him out of the kitchen ever so gently.

tagging (zero pressure!!) @king-buckley @forthewolves @cowboy-buck @monsterrae1 @bellabrady @thosetwofirefighters @sibylsleaves @housewifebuck @wikiangela @buckactuallys @cowboy-buddie @tawaifeddiediaz @prince-buck-diaz @anxieteandbiscuits @hattalove @messyhairdiaz @alyxmastershipper @elvensorceress @woodchoc-magnum @mrevanbuckley

[sunshinediaz]

snippet sunday 🫧

hi, pals <3 i think. i think i'm about to come down with the worst sinus infection of my life so if i'm extra mia just know it's because i'm fighting demons

please enjoy a new bad things happen fic, where eddie and buck are forced to watch their house burn down??

The smell of smoke wakes him up, sharp and hot and smothering. It swirls in the air, mixing with mint and vanilla and eucalyptus, his cologne and their shampoo and that expensive detergent Buck likes so much, and Eddie has half a mind bitch at Buck for not showering before climbing into bed before he realizes their last shift was two days ago.  Hysteria rockets through his system, cold like polar ice. He rolls around beneath the sheets, frantic and nervous, and slaps Buck’s shoulder till he wakes up.  Buck groans, lifts his head out from beneath his pillow, and slurs, “Wha’s goin’ on?” because it’s 3:17 in the morning and it’s still three hours before their alarm rings to get Chris ready for school and there’s no reason for them to be up yet.  “Fire,” he says, sliding off the bed and shuffling on the icy tiles in his bare feet. It startles him, wakes him up even more than the fire.  Buck makes another noise, bewildered and a little slow. “Huh?”  “The house is on fire, Buck!”  It’s quiet for a moment, nothing at all except a telltale crackling of burning wood, and then Buck’s falling out of bed, slamming his head against the bedside table and slipping in the pool of sheets in the floor. He blinks, adjusting to the darkness of their bedroom; the smell of smoke has only gotten stronger, fluttering around them like fog rising from a secluded pond, and the look on his face when he realizes what’s going on reminds Eddie of when he was shot years ago. 

i was tagged by @try-set-me-on-fire, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @hippolotamus, @watchyourbuck, @honestlydarkprincess, @exhuastedpigeon, @wikiangela, @daffi-990, and @giddyupbuck

and i'm gonna no pressure tag @callmenewbie, @eddiediaztho, @mysteriouslyyounggalaxy, @callaplums, @folk-fae and whoever else wants to share pls consider yourself tagged 🫶🏼

ps i'll be back later to gush over everyone's snippets and inspirations from yesterday okay i just have to rest a lil bit first please <3

[chrancecriber]

Antenne Vorarlberg Chillout Lounge (July 26, 2023)

23:58 Ensaime - No Me Contesta 23:55 Olga Scheps - How Much Is The Fish? 23:51 Shallour & Riah - Lie 23:47 Eelke Kleijn - The Big Chill (Original Mix) 23:44 Alok, Zeeba And Iro - Ocean 23:40 Ck West & Sassi K - C Song 23:36 Rank 1 - T.t.c. 23:32 Stepha Schweiger - When I Was A Bird 23:29 Tinlicker & Helsloot - Because You Move Me 23:23 Thomas Lemmer - Fatigué 23:19 2raumwohnung - Wir Werden Sehen (Paul Kalkbrenner Remix) 23:16 Tom Novy & Dan Le Blonde - Let's Dance (Tom Novy Remix) 23:10 Steen Thottrup Feat. Annette Berg - Heading For The Sunrise 23:07 Thomas Gold Feat. Bright Sparks - Seventeen 23:02 Martin Böttcher - Old-shatterhand-melodie (Orbient Mix) 22:59 Audax Feat. Ron Caroll - Falling For You 22:55 Robin Schulz - Moonlit Sky (With The Void Pacific Choir) 22:51 Schiller - Ruhe 22:48 Blank & Jones Feat. Zoe Durrant - Erase Rewind 22:43 Elderbrook & Bob Moses - Inner Light 22:40 Mike Posner - I Took A Pill In Ibiza (Seeb Remix) 22:37 Wave Wave Feat. Lena Sue - Repeating 22:34 Kygo & Tina Turner - What's Love Got To Do With It 22:31 Dragonette, Mike Mago - Outlines (Original Mix) 22:29 Vievie - Sea Roses 22:26 Raffa Fi - Ritmo 22:22 Klingande Feat. Daylight - Losing U 22:13 Dino Lenny Feat. Artbat - Sand In Your Shoes 22:10 Worm Is Green - Electron John 22:07 Bernward Koch - Flowing Colors 22:05 Above & Beyond - Quieter Is Louder (Original Mix) 22:02 Marit Larsen - I Don't Want To Talk About It (Nelsaan & Matoma Tropical Remix) 21:57 Claptone Feat. Dizzy - Queen Of Ice Queen Of Ice 21:53 The Alan Parsons Project - Old And Wise 21:49 Spanish Armada Movement - Margarita 21:47 Tiscore - Fire To Smoke 21:43 Sans Souci - Nanda 21:39 Alex Christensen & The Berlin Orchestra - Infinity 21:33 Tebra - Istok 21:29 Passenger 10 - Serving The World 21:24 Jakatta - So Lonely (Blu Mar Ten Mix) 21:16 Doyeq & Jay Medvedeva - Break Into My Walls (Armen Miran & Hraach Remix) 21:10 Marra Kesh Khetama - Sunshine 21:06 John Summit & Hayla - Where You Are 21:00 Armen Miran - Nani Jan 20:54 Fous De La Mer - Clairs De Lune 20:47 Atb - No Fate 20:44 Robin Schulz - Above The Clouds 20:37 Melih Aydogan - Between 20:34 Nora Van Elken - Okinawa 20:28 Hraach & Armen Miran - Nowhere 20:23 York - I Need You 20:20 Blank & Jones - Coastline 20:16 Schiller & Peter Heppner - Leben... I Feel You 20:07 Schiller - Empire Of Light 20:03 Valante - Rissa 19:59 Gitano & Deep Josh Feat. Koo - Residence Lounge 19:56 Sons Of Maria - Always 19:53 Trinix & Ian Urbina - Bad Things 19:50 Kygo Feat. Kodaline - Raging 19:46 Nora En Pure - Enchantment 19:43 Loud Luxury Feat. Morgan St. Jean - Aftertaste 19:38 Syntax Error - Träumen Im Gras (Syntax Experience Mix) 19:32 Hakan Kayis, Furkan Sarikas, Cinar Gedizlioglu - A Night In Alacati (Original Mix) 19:26 Consolidation Feat. Moguai - Ode To Joy 19:21 Plaid - Ralome (Feat. Benet Walsh) 19:17 Above & Beyond - Out Of Time (Original Mix) 19:14 Dj Antoine & Dead-line - Shout 19:09 Laila (Feat. Tiefblau) - Yin And Yang 19:05 Backstreet Boys - Chances (Instrumental) 18:58 Audiofly Feat. Fiora - 6 Degrees 18:52 New Age Kings - Illusion (Instrumental Remix) 18:46 Tebra - Suton 18:43 Duke Dumont Feat. Jax Jones - I Got U 18:39 Eelke Kleijn Feat. Josha Daniel - Oscillations 18:36 Sofi Tukker & John Summit - Sun Came Up (Radio) 18:32 Vintage Culture And Rooftime - I Will Find 18:29 Mike Candys & Jack Holiday - Saltwater (Rework) 18:27 The Holy Santa Barbara Feat. Madugo - The Sailor Song 18:22 Afterlife - How Does It Feel (Original Mix) 18:18 Fritz Kalkbrenner - Kings & Queens 18:11 Hraach - After Dark 18:06 Jamiroquai - Love Foolosophy 17:58 Martin Roth - An Analog Guy In A Digital World 17:54 Moby - Everything That Rises 17:50 Klangkarussel & Poppy Baskcomb - This Love 17:47 Nora Van Elken - Mount Fuji 17:44 Clyb Foster - How Deep Is Your Love 17:41 Younotus Feat. Chris Gelbuda - When I Think About You 17:38 Blank & Jones - Swept Away 17:33 Thievery Corporation - Lebanese Blonde 17:28 Thomas Lemmer & Andreas Bach - Deep Ocean 17:25 Lost Frequencies, Zonderling & Kelvin Jones - Love To Go 17:21 Moist - Far Beyond The Endless (Original Mix) 17:16 Arden - Open 17:13 Nihoni - After Sun 17:09 Kayu Feat. Gabs - Waterfalls 17:05 Jako Diaz & Margret - Mirror 17:00 Groovecatcher - Never Alone In New York 16:56 Above & Beyond - Is It Love? (1001) (Original Mix) 16:53 Nora En Pure - Fibonacci 16:50 Lucas Estrada, Twopilots - Bloom 16:45 Eelke Kleijn Feat. Diana Miro - You (Frankey & Sandrino Remix) 16:38 Hraach Feat. Iveta Mukuchyan - Sarer Jan 16:32 Blank & Jones - Give It To Me 16:27 Monolink - Harlem River 16:24 Armin Van Buuren Feat. Jake Reese - Need You Now 16:18 Worakls - Elea (Original Mix) 16:14 Monoir, Eneli - 3 To 1 16:11 Paul Oakenfold, Bolier, Luis Fonsi - The World Can Wait (Bolier Remix) 16:07 Melloton - Zombie 16:02 Lstn - Times Of Sorrow 15:58 Smoke City - Underwater Love 15:51 True & Berger - Imprint Of Pleasure 15:47 Maxim Lany Feat. Freya Alley - Anymore 15:42 Channel 2 Feat. Tanya - Soulout 15:39 Gibbs & Code X - Close To Your Heart 15:35 Robert Manos - Silver 15:32 Rihanna Feat. Mikky Ekko - Stay 15:28 Sum Wave - Malin's Song 15:25 Brando - Don't Call Me (Galantis Remix) 15:20 Sine - Smooth Relaxation 15:12 Julian Wassermann - People 15:10 Sans Souci - Fenton 15:03 Jens Gad - El Momento 15:00 Karsten Kiessling Feat. Helin - Fight Like A Lion 14:54 Fous De La Mer - Aguas Blancas 14:49 Thomas Lemmer & Andreas Bach - Embracing Love 14:44 Worakls - Caprice 14:41 Feder Feat. Lyse - Goodbye 14:37 Nora Van Elken - Interstellar 14:35 Alok & James Arthur - Work With My Love 14:32 Rita Ora Feat. Alesso - Anywhere 14:28 Daniel Portman - Sensual Desires 14:24 Schiller - White Nights (Don't Let Me Go) 14:20 Moby - Lift Me Up 14:15 Christopher Von Deylen - Free 14:13 Avian Grays & Azteck - Endlessly 14:05 Chris Coco & Captain Bliss - Harmonica Track (Deep Mix) 13:57 Armen Miran Feat. Jivan Gasp - Lost Memories 13:52 Agoria - Up All Night 13:49 Sans Souci - Take My Breath Away (Original Mix) 13:41 Christopher Von Deylen - Opaque 13:36 Jose Padilla - Bosaxi (Touched Mix) 13:32 Chicane - Capricorn (Back Pedal Brakes Remix) 13:26 Worakls - By The Brook 13:22 Troubleman Feat. Nina Miranda - Paz 13:19 Vievie - Blue Island 13:16 Pulsedriver & Tiscore Feat. Anna Grey - We Are 13:11 Kinobe - Lotus Eater 13:08 Mefree - Horizons 13:05 Dj Antoine Feat. Craig Smart - Good Vibes (Good Feeling) (Dj Antoine Vs Mad Mark 2k19 Mix) 12:59 Marc Puig - To Start Anew 12:57 Colorblast - Message In A Bottle (Colorblast Version) 12:53 Nora En Pure - Sphinx 12:50 Lstn - Sky & Sand 12:47 Parov Stelar - Fire 12:41 Worldwide Groove Corporation - Besame Mucho 12:34 David Hohme - Fear Less (Hraach Remix) 12:31 Carstn & Ten Tonne Skeleton - Safety Dance 12:27 The Presets - Promises (Nils Frahm Version) 12:24 Sanah - Invisible Dress (Maro Music X Skytech Remix) 12:19 Rìfìs Du Sol - Next To Me 12:14 Massive Attack - Unfinished Sympathy 12:11 Lucas Estrada & Henri Purnell & Neimy - In My Fantasy 12:05 Armen Miran & Hraach - Gravitation 12:00 Guardner - All Right 11:57 Armin Van Buuren Feat. Angel Taylor - Make It Right (Trinix Remix) 11:54 Melosense - Polarization (Original Mix) 11:51 Gamper & Dadoni Feat. Joe Jury - Satellites 11:48 Nto (Fr) Feat. Sofiane Pamart - Invisible (Piano Version) 11:44 Nora En Pure - Homebound 11:40 Blank & Jones Feat. Zoe Durrant - One Evening (Lofi Selection) 11:37 Wave Wave Feat. Evie - Real 11:33 Nicos - Secret Love 11:27 Rodriguez Jr. Feat. Liset Alea - What Is Real 11:23 Schiller - Once Upon A Time (Cahill Remix) 11:20 Blank & Jones - Fall In Love 11:16 Brendon Moeller - Emerging 11:12 Enui - Adieu (Arielle Lb Remix) 11:03 Rapossa - Oriental Tales 11:00 Dennis Kruissen Feat. Liza Flume - Another Soul 10:53 Stan Kolev, Yuji Ono - Try (Original Mix) 10:46 Avira & Diana Miro - The Worship (Mark Knight Extended) 10:41 Kidsø - Fir 10:39 Depeche Mode - Uselink 10:37 Alok & Timmy Trumpet - Underwater Love (La Vision Remix) 10:34 Sunnery James & Ryan Marciano - Let It Lie 10:29 Velvet Lounge Project - In Harmony 10:24 Fous De La Mer - Luces 10:18 Pete Tong & Tale Of Us Feat. Jules Buckley - Time 10:14 Lenny Ibizarre - Pretty As You Feel 10:10 Nora En Pure - Dry Sobbing 10:07 Alle Farben & Fools Garden - Lemon Tree 10:03 Blank & Jones - Flaming June 10:01 Kamrad - I Believe 09:54 Groovecatcher - Intoxicated 09:49 Goldfish - Love Everlasting (Extended Mix) 09:45 Klangperlenspiel & Puzzls - Kyoto (Wish You'd Move On) 09:40 Melounge - Too Much Sugar 09:37 Filous - Let It Snow (Original Mix) 09:33 Kygo & Sasha Sloan - I'll Wait 09:26 Orange & Tusnelda - Stay Asleep 09:20 Twocolors - Together 09:17 Tiësto - The Motto 09:14 Mahmut Orhan - Schhh (Feat. Irina Rimes) 09:08 Dale Anderson Feat. Anil Chawla - Pimento Grove 09:01 Nora En Pure - Oblivion (Extended Mix) 08:57 Eelke Kleijn Feat. Ost - Lost Souls (Nora En Pure Remix) 08:54 Mount & Emdey - Venus 08:50 Blank & Jones - Flowing 08:45 Atb & Anova - Route 66 08:40 Anrey - Lost Lands (Extended Mix) 08:33 Nova June - More 08:29 Eli & Fur - Come Back Around 08:27 R3hab X Lukas Graham - Most People 08:23 Rìfìs - Like An Animal 08:19 Passenger 10 - The Lonely Boy Who Wanted To Make Friends 08:15 Gamper & Dadoni - Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! 08:10 Orbient - Transition 08:07 Twisted Harmonies Feat. Mougleta - You & Me 08:00 Soul Button - Circadian Rhythm (Hraach Remix) 07:55 Bacaro - Under Presure 07:53 Agatino Romero - I'm Feeling For You 07:48 Buttha - Oceanic (Original Mix) 07:44 Dvine - Ever After 07:41 Mousse T. - Boyfriend (Alle Farben Remix) 07:34 Cell - The Gate 07:28 Röyksopp Feat. Susanne Sundførd - Oh, Lover 07:26 Nightcall X Henri Purnell Feat. Eke - When The Morning Breaks 07:23 Black Coffee & David Guetta Feat. Delila Montagu - Drive 07:17 Tinlicker Feat. Nathan Nicholson - Always Will 07:12 Schiller & Tricia Mcteague - Guardian Angel 07:08 Solaris Navis - Blissful Memories 07:04 Gardenstate & Bien - The Best Part 07:01 Yves V X Bashkar - Halfway (Feat. Twan Ray) 06:57 Saint Privat - Somebody To Love (Uko Remix) 06:55 Fedde Le Grand Feat. Vince Freeman - Devils 06:52 Filous Feat. James Hersey - How Hard I Try 06:49 Atb & Topic - Your Love (9pm) 06:45 Jan Blomqvist & Bloom Twins - High On Beat (Sofi Tukker Remix) 06:41 Lemongrass - Habla Mi Corazon 06:38 Milk & Sugar Feat. John Paul Young - Love Is In The Air 06:35 Bolier & Arman Cekin - Fade Away (Feat. Rhi'n'b) 06:29 Fous De La Mer - Waiting For The Sun 06:26 Blank & Jones Feat. Kyle Pearce - All Of Me 06:23 Together Alone - Let Go 06:18 Perfect Silence - Di (Original Mix) 06:13 Rìfìs Du Sol - Alive (Anyma Remix) 06:08 Tinlicker Feat. Roos Jonker - Come Back Home 06:04 Tom Tyler - Chewin' The Chew-z 06:01 Felix Jaehn Feat. Zoe Wees - Do It Better 05:55 Guenter Haas - Look Inside Yourself 05:52 Viva La Panda & Finding Molly - Bring It On (La La La) 05:49 Mike Candys - Sky (Club Mix) 05:46 Dash Berlin Feat. Roxanne Emery - Shelter 05:42 Magnofield - Lupino 05:35 Blank & Jones - White Light 05:30 Fluff - Late Night Session 05:27 Pretty Pink Feat. Mark V - Don't Dance 05:24 Lunax & Zana - Gone Tomorrow 05:19 Nora En Pure - Tears In Your Eyes (Extended Mix) 05:15 Dizkodude & Dj Antoine - Your Eyes (Dj Antoine Vs Mad Mark 2k21 Summer Mix) 05:12 The Hitmen - Turn Off The Lights 05:08 Bob Marley - Sun Is Shining 05:05 Nore En Pure - In Your Eyes 05:00 Sean Hayman - See Of Love (Whisper Mix) 04:57 Rene Rodrigezz & Tristan Henry - Let Me Go 04:54 Lost Frequencies Feat. Love Harder - Beat Of My Heart 04:50 Schiller Mit Heppner - Dream Of You 04:47 Purple Disco Machine - Hypnotized 04:42 Eelke Kleijn - Woodstock 04:39 Kygo Feat. Valerie Broussard - Think About You 04:35 Christopher Von Deylen - Infinity 04:32 Jerome & Neptunica - High On Music 04:28 Mahmut Orhan & Colonel Bagshot - 6 Days 04:24 Avira & Kiko Franco Feat. Nathan Nicholson) - Ocean 04:18 Jens Buchert - Cocoon 04:15 Sway Gray Vs. Sal De Sol - Crosses 04:11 Chicane Feat. Bryan Adams - Don't Give Up 04:07 Derrick - Love Away 04:04 Matoma Feat. Jonah Kagen - Summer Feeling 03:58 Deep Dive Corp. Feat. Dennis Le Gree - Water 03:56 Omi - Cheerleader 03:53 Vize & Leony - Dolly Song (Devil's Cup) 03:49 Tonenation - Hijo De La Luna 03:43 Mozez Feat. Henry Binns From Zero 7 - Beautiful Day 03:40 Tomas Skyldeberg - Outside The Window 03:37 Basixx - Stay In Your Sunlight 03:34 Alle Farben - Bad Ideas 03:28 Colyn - Lightyears 03:22 Anrey - The Forgotten (Extended Mix) 03:17 Federico Aubele - Postales 03:11 Monolink & Zigan Aldi - Fidale (I Feel) Vocal Version 03:05 D.a.x. Feat. Victoria Wilson James - Crash Landed 03:03 Carstn, Jason Walker - Could You Love Me (Munich Monstrs Remix) 03:01 Nathan Evans - Wellerman (220 Kid X Billen Ted Remix) 02:57 Zhu - Faded 02:52 Joachim Pastor & Signum - Something You Need (Extended Mix) 02:49 Above & Beyond - The Inconsistency Principle 02:41 Tom Novy & Milkwish - Dream Catcher (Extended Mix) 02:38 Shapov & Avian Grays Feat. Kifi - Light Up The World 02:35 Alina Baraz & Galimatias - Fantasy (Felix Jaehn Remix) 02:30 Lux - Golden 02:26 Blank & Jones - Twilight Moon 02:23 Lika Morgan - Ding Dong 02:17 Zelensky - Sunset (Andy Lime Remix) 02:15 Mila Feat. Uwe Worlitzer - Teil Von Mir 02:08 Tom Novy Feat. Amadeas - Dancing In The Sun Feat. Amadeas (Tapesh & Dayne S Remix) 02:05 Rosa Linn - Snap 02:02 Clément Leroux - Memories 01:57 Placebo - Running Up That Hill 01:53 Together Alone - Ain't Nobody 01:51 Vamero & Lizot - Bleeding Love 01:45 Bloomfield - Boulevard St. Germain 01:42 Italobrothers - Stay 01:36 Good Guy Mikesh Feat. Filburt - Place Of Love (Mp Edit) 01:29 Claptone - No Eyes Feat. Jaw 01:25 Kygo Feat. Will Heard - Nothing Left 01:22 Dimitri Vegas - Pull Me Closer 01:19 Lucy Neville - Fall At Your Feet 01:15 The Ocean Piano - Piano Mi Camino (Blue Wave Mix) 01:09 Rue Du Soleil - Manush 01:07 Edx - Neptune 01:04 Cotone - Faded Glory 01:01 Sal De Sol - Another Chance (Single Mix) 00:55 Blank & Jones - Coh 00:51 Nora En Pure - Epiphany 00:46 In Credo - Siesta Del Sol 00:43 Jeremy Loops - Til I Found You 00:41 Minelli, Filatov & Karas Remi - Rampampam 00:36 Badmarsh & Shri - Day By Day 00:29 Jean-michel Jarre - Equinoxe, Pt. 4 00:26 Bronson Feat. Lau.ra - Heart Attack 00:21 Kinobe - The Green Piano 00:19 Hbz, Anna Grey & Agent Zed - Aloha Hey 00:15 Paco Pedilla - Chariots Of Fire (Glorious Remix) 00:11 Olga Scheps - How Much Is The Fish? 00:08 Shallour & Riah - Lie 00:02 Alex Cortiz - Enter The Matrix

[gibbingtonwibbington]

This post turned into quite a web of stories.

I love when my brain does this.

Jk no I don’t.

But this time I do.

Remember when I said I had like 40 posts in my drafts? Most of those are like this. So I opted out. However this one. Yes, absofuckinlutely yes.

3:27 minutes in…

That’s an every-night sky.

You can see that kind of stuff every single night in the sky. Probably anywhere, lol.

That’s movement of beans and nothing.

I’ve seen far crazier shit right in front of me on Earth’s lovely little floor. Having videos and witnesses n even for the second thing i wasn’t even the person to notice it first.

I’m the one with the owlneck, haweyeing all the time… it ONLY felt unusual because I didn’t notice it first, lol. Really, for both of the weirdest things I’ve seen, I was actually relaxed and not really paying attention at all. Figures.

But i’m the one that actually recorded that weird basketball of light flying around my neighbors yard. I keep telling myself (maybe just others) that it was ball lightning. Odd enough some weird thing brought me to that recording of mine on Facebook. Maybe it was a comment? I just remember being at it n thinking how tf did I get to this? Probably the “remember when “section flu butt-dial dominos situation. But it was The FIRST one that I kept going on my albums and uploads to find and sometimes isn’t there and sometimes is. Older videos do that though. Stupid fb. I guess since fb updated jts actually a better looking version of the video now though. Guess I uploaded a couple of them? Lol… But honestly, if you think of how an orb would move vs a ball of flaming light…. It doesn’t make sense. It wasn’t… on fire…. Ya know what I mean? It was a glowing circle, a strobing orb, not anything a-fire, flying around. If it’s ball lightning then it’s definitely more an orb of energy not a ball of flame like those stupid fuckn fake videos on YouTube. There’s only about 50 or so short takes of supposed ball lightning on YouTube and most of them are so obviously just transformers going out. OkayI think there was only one that looked anything like what I saw. It was just an orb burning in the middle of a field and even that could’ve been faked, because it wasn’t moving. This thing was an orb the size of a basketball not afire, strobing with intensity of light and moving around in the yard going near specific objects in the yard oneby one, not random jutting around. It was by thelower windoe of their house by the time I decided to whistle a song at it. I wanted to see if did anything different , or if anything different happened w it… maybe to watch if it knew I had my eyes on it already. What it did. It WAS thundering and raining too. So it very well could have been an orb of ball lightning. Maybe it does move like that and look like that. It was pretty weird though. I purposely ran halfway into my neighbors yard but decided to stop halfway just incase it was ball lightning, ya can’t go near that shit or say bye bye to your life and hello to a shotload of volts. Bzzzz!!! 🧟‍♀️ So I stopped and it looked as if it still didn’t notice me. So that’s why I decided to whistle a song. I just made up a song.

As soon as I started whistling, it stopped looking for whatever it was looking for (at least that’s what it looked like it was doing to me) Chris was still standing in my yard. I had ran out of my yard, onto the street in back of my house and halfway down the driveway of the house it was at. This place also has a little river and pond that empties out right in front of their house. That’s where the rock throwing contests were that I won against 25 yr old men when I was 16, where I smoked weed for the first time and ice skated while playing beer pong on a floating house thing they made with heat in it. Lol. If only they polyurethaned the f outta that, would’ve lasted WAY longer. They wanted it to last longer too! Polyurethane can do some amazing things. Trust me. Matt loved Polyurethane! Lmao

That thing barely lasted the year. I really can’t believe they (esp Matt) didn’t waterproof it after all that work! They easily could have before they put it in the water. It wasn’t that heavy. You wouldn’t even know that pond is there because the area is so small and hidden, but there’s a decent sized pond behind there, probably the same amount of space as the house and their yard combined. It’s a weird layout actually. They have a little stone cliff at the back of their house too. It’s like a 75 degree slope and a small area of a 90 degree rock face then little gardeamd trails around it all the way to the highway, or route 12 or whatever. Then theres a big lump of land on the other side of rt 12… with more cliffs and an old abandoned road in the middle of the teo roads that run parallel to the road on the hill called redstone hill road. Google it. Olde parish lane was where i made the very first skating video for you. 5 okde parisjh lane. The house on kilby road right in back of my old house. That’s the weird yard im talking about. They are old now, the yard probably is overgrown but you may still be able to see the pond and I know youll be able to see the old abandoned roanf the old grabeyard with the tombs. In the beginning of redstone hill road there’s gates to another graveyard that’s so old you can barely read the stones. There’s really old and elaborately carved tombs in the front next to the gates like the other old graveyard entrance, specifically from the main road. They’re graveyards from the late 16,’s-1700’s to now. When Sterling was first “bought” aka stolen from the Native American tribe that lived happily here until they came with their sniveling European diseases. Lol. It’s just fuckn weird over there man. You honestly wouldn’t even know all that is back there. But it’s weird, there’s this huge mound of sand in a weird perfect circle at the bottom of the road and then in back of that there’s a whole separate mound (which someone bought and used as like “I’m selling my sand” business lol… i think on the other side was also part of some sand dunes we have a lot around here actually .

I don’t think their yard would make a legal yard these days, but they’re kinda forgotten behind there. Especially now .,,,this story is still unreal and now extremely FUNNY. Chris saw it first and so said “What’s that light over there? “

(HAHA seriously I think this specific happening, which is by far the weirdest thing I have ever seen, has made him paranoid for life because he always had me go investigate his neighbors ground lights n id walk right up to whatever it was his paranoid ass was looking at in his neighbors yard and it’s always been nothing except for their ground lights and u can even see from his driveway it’s fucking nothing)

Good ol Christopher. I thought he was just being blind n paranoid but nope.

Lol the two dudes I was chillin w when these two weird things happened. Gta love em. Not love love but likelove.They are good guys at heart.At least one of em lol. Let’s hope. I think. One is/was CWISSTOPPAH,the mr. mcranky-mccracky……mcwellidonycareitsnotcoke/mvviolentpants/whytsthatlightoverthere/mcmuthafukkinunappreciative ass who clearly has lost his mind . Haha

Aww. He can’t help it. Lol. FR though, it’s physically impossible for him to have steered clear of the madness of chronic fevers from that. You should’ve seen it. Actually…you can see it. I have photos. I even have a photo of him grabbing this basic tourniquet that he made w an elasticized bandage, that was wrapped around his neck to his ankle, with his teeth, to tighten it. So he could basically cut off the sharp pain from his foot slowwlllyyyyyyyyyyyy (it’s maddening to watch) drain (for months) this abcess in his leg/foot. It’s mfuckinpossible man. Kimpossible. They had a stupid live action of that didn’t they? Ugh. Barf. I did stop hanging out w him like I was before. Can you believe we haven’t hung out.. not once since I told you.. ?😬🫤Damn, it’s been months. I guess it’s up to me to invite myself over at this point right? Since lol….since I’m the one who said deuces. Whoops. I guess I shouldn’t be waiting for him then huh? Ugh. I’m nauseous again. I don’t want to. I’ll wait s bit more. Let it really sink in. Like, I understand you’re foot and soul have been leaking for months and you’re in serious amounts of pain with literal dementia happening, but can you not throw things at me when you’re confused? That’d be great.

In the beginning of the “bye bye time”, he was pissed off about my reasoning. But after awhile of me not being there at all to help him or his mom w shit and not hearing my voice at all, he’s already kinda calmed down and changing bito sho he was before. He had been still eating like dhit but still losing weight n I knew something wasn’t right. Plus nothing had changed about his intake of drugs, meds, amount of sleep , life, nothing except for that. I told his mom too. She’s kinda dumb tho. I said to her that he needs to be seen… because he’s probably having fevers and not even knowing it. Even I had ….(even more..lol) speaking problems when I had the start of that lovely pneumonia and that was still just the beginning loooong stage of his leg/foot cellulitis bs. She’s supposedly a nurse too it’s like cmon lady wtf. You don’t want to wake up w him, your SON, dead, splayed out n leaking on the basement floor now do ya? Like wtf lady.. they will see the state of his brain. Fried. Poor guy.

He needed (prob still needs) to at least take some fucking Tylenol or something to lessen his damn chronic fevers. He NEVER would though. He’d flip tf out when someone brought him Tylenol instead of Advil lol.

He just wanted advil for the leg n foot pain. I mean, hd did have a huge gaping hole in his foot which I do have a photo of somewhere on my phone. It’s crazy. NOT gorrd. He probably should have listened to me about soaking it. I only suggested that because I personally wouldn’t have just sat there , RARELY cleaning it or myself (really not good especially with what he has) and just let it heal only w air. ?? No.nooooooo. I would have tortured myself and soaked it in salt water for a few months. Especially after it stopped gushing blood and puss. There’s a video on my phone with blood all over every surface downstairs. Bloody puss actually. It would have healed better in the end if he listened to me. I even got out the foot bath for him and checked it out to make sure it worked..did I upload that? I feel like I did and then took it down because of how dirty n gross it lookedI do understand him. It’s annoying but…you can’t possibly have an infection over that amount of area in your body of that severity, for THAT many MONTHS and not have it affect your mind too. Especially when old people get infections, a lot of ‘em get dementia. That must be fun, not for the family though. Ugh.

New story: My half-brother’s mom’s mom (lol) was talking EXTRA craycray about my half-brother when she got an infection & was still bad enough to be at the hospital. She was saying how she dropped him off on the highway and needed to go get him. Lol, yup. Fuckin weird..that was definitely a funny statement though. It could’ve happened for all the nurses know. Probably had cops driving up and down the highway just to be sure she wasn’t just talking crazy. Yes, that’s my autistic brother. Poor guy. My “birth father” is an ass. My aunts write to them and stuff. I treat my half brother’s mom like she’s a younger aunt or a step-sister to me. I can tell she wants that from me, I’m fine with it. It’s surely better than a third Mom. I had ONE of three real step sisters that I actually liked, Kerry! Want to get tripped out even further?She can’t smell or taste anything. She got REALLY sick when she was little or something.You may think not being able to taste or smell isn’t that bad at first. However, it’s a CURSE.

Imagine not being able to smell your significant other’s scent, when you hug ANY MEMBER of your family, ANY FRIEND, the hands of anyone, their cologne, their body spray, your favorite soap, bubble bath or body wash.

You can’t smell or taste any food whatsoever, never again to taste the seeet juice from a ripe fruit, nothing.

You’ll never smell the cotton candy smell or fried food smell when nearing a beloved fair. You can’t smell the seasons changing. You can never again smell a FLOWER. ANY FLOWER. I think I am going to cry. You’ll never again smell a pine tree or your favorite candle. NOTHING.

You’ll never smell a puppy, a kitten, a puppy’s breath, smell a baby’s skin, nothing.

The only possible upside of this absolute fuckn curse….let me lift the sad vibe a bit…you’ll never smell the BO of any old decrepit peoples or of anyone, ever again

🤷🏻‍♀️ aaaaaand ….

… unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your attentiveness, that’s including yourself. So people who have had this problem before puberty, tend to not truly understand the necessity of uhmmm anti-perspirants. Including dear Kerry. So thankfully, with most people, she’s usually thrown a bone for this issue. I would have hated to tear out anyone’s eyeballs at the annual Christmas Piper parties

[himbodiaz]

Watch Me Fall Apart (And I'll Be Yours to Keep)

1856 words. After a tough rescue, both Eddie and Buck end up in the hospital. 

title from only love by ben howard. i wrote most of this in one sitting with no beta so just *gestures vaguley* here 

They've both been here too many times to count—covered in soot, smoke in their lungs, sweat plastering their hair to their faces, but never at the same time. Never where the other can't be near to see, to place a hand on a shoulder, to lean against in support. A fire in a high-rise, a family trapped on the upper floors, and that's all it took for Buck to grab the ropes, Eddie behind him, because where one goes, the other follows. It's their routine, their deal, the promise to have each other's backs, to support whenever needed, it's just never ended them both in the hospital at the same time.

Eddie is the first one released—Buck had been the first to go in, and made sure that Eddie was out before him, because of course he did. And maybe Eddie should've insisted that Buck get out before him, should've argued with him for an extra five seconds, should've done something so that Buck doesn't have to spend the night in the hospital alone. But he didn't, and now Eddie is being sent home and the doctor is refusing to let him see Buck.  

"Mr. Diaz," the doctor says, "Your friend is fine."

Eddie wants to argue with her, because friend? Friend? Like Buck and Eddie have been anything but friends for a long time. Like Buck isn't laying in a hospital bed alone, when Eddie should be there to support him. Like by denying him seeing Buck, all the smoke that was in Eddie's lungs returns and it's almost impossible to breathe for the second time tonight.

"He's asleep now and resting," she continues when Eddie opens his mouth to argue, "Which you should be doing, too. You need to go home and rest, you can come see him in the morning."

"But—"

"Mr. Diaz," she cuts him off, remaining polite, but obviously frustrated, "Visiting hours have been over for a long time, and Mr. Buckley will be discharged in the morning. Someone will give you a call, and you can pick him up then."

The doctor's tone is one of finality, but Eddie can't take no for an answer. Before he can continue pleading his case, Bobby arrives. He comes over to Eddie and the doctor, placing a reassuring hand on Eddie's shoulder. "I've got it from here, thanks doc," he says, before steering Eddie toward the exit. They've barely made it out the doors before Eddie shakes Bobby's hand from his shoulder, and turns on him.

"Bobby," he all but begs, "You have to let me see him. They brought us in at the same time, but I haven't seen him since. I know it's smoke inhalation, and probably some fatigue and dehydration, but they won't let me see him." Eddie knows how he sounds, knows it's desperate in a way he normally isn't, but it's Buck. It's Buck, who has ended up in hospitals more times than he cares to count, who is his partner, who made sure that Eddie got out of the building first, even knowing it would land him more time here—he can't just leave him behind.

"Eddie," Bobby says as evenly as possible—it's the same tone he uses on distraught spouses, and Eddie wants to cry, "I need you to take a breath for a minute, okay? Just take a moment to calm down, and then we'll figure it out."

And yeah, Eddie probably does need to collect himself, because while smoke inhalation can be serious, Buck is getting exactly the care he needs right now. There's nothing for Eddie to do, yet it doesn't stop the helplessness that's settled in the space between his ribs, which only worsened after the doctor told him he was being discharged without Buck. So, Eddie shuts his eyes, and allows himself a few moments to just breathe, to focus on the air entering and then leaving his lungs, to focus on the feeling of his chest rising and falling. It helps steady him, helps him come back to a relatively even keel.

"Are you good to drive?" Is the first thing that Bobby asks once Eddie opens his eyes. He doesn't think he can talk without freaking out again, so he nods his response. "Okay, good. What's going to happen is I'm going to drive you back to the station, you're going to get your truck, take it home, see Christopher, and go to sleep. Because the doctor was right, you need to rest. And in the morning, when the hospital calls you, you'll go pick up Buck. Sound like a plan?"

Now that he's calmed down and the adrenaline that's been keeping him alert has worn off, Eddie feels a deep tiredness settle in his bones, and it takes all his remaining energy to stay on his feet. Again, Eddie nods in response, walks over to the car, and says, "Take me to the station, Cap." And that's what Bobby does.

Normally, when one of the crew returns from the hospital, the rest of the shift is there to greet them, but no one is there when Eddie arrives, and he's grateful. His nerves are fried, he's exhausted, and he doesn’t think he could handle the team's questions right now. All he wants to do is shower, grab his bag, and go home—thankfully, he's able to do that without even hearing the low hum of conversation that's ever present in the loft.

Eddie is locking the front door behind him and taking off his shoes while he debates whether or not to wake Chris just so he can give him a hug. It's only when he's finally made it to Chris' door that he has his answer—not because he came to a decision himself, but because one was made for him.

Chris' bed is empty, and for a heartbeat Eddie panics, because Christopher isn't in his bed, but then he remembers: he was injured on hour twelve of a twenty-four-hour shift, so of course Chris isn't here. And Eddie should feel relieved, should feel calmer now, but all he can think about is the fact that he can't see his son, and he can't see Buck, and suddenly it's like the anchors that were holding his mooring in place have let go, and he's adrift.

Eddie tries to breathe, tries to remind himself that both his boys are okay, they're both being looked after, they're both safe. He goes to the kitchen, fills a glass with water, and drinks it all in one go. He fills it again, this time bringing it to his room, setting it down on the table beside his bed. Eddie changes into an old t-shirt that Buck left behind ages ago and an old pair of army sweatpants before he slides into bed.

Now that he's home and in bed, the exhaustion should be catching up with him, all but dragging him to sleep. Except, now that Eddie's alone, he can't stop thinking about how quiet the house is, how empty it feels. Even on nights when Chris is away at a sleepover, Buck would always come over, and they'd watch a movie, or a hockey game, or just talk over beers. The negative space, normally filled by laughter and jokes and, god, even Buck's snoring in his ear, feels like a noose around his neck. No matter what he does, Eddie just cannot sleep.

So, Eddie lays in bed and does his best not to think about the call that ended him up here, and Buck alone in the hospital. Does his best not to think about how he should have told Buck to take the daughter out while he got the father. Does his best not to think about how Buck removed his mask to help the victim breathe, and putting himself in danger. A shuddering sob rips through his chest, and he forces himself to sit up because he needs to get air in his lungs or he'll choke on his guilt and fear.

The clock on beside his bed reads quarter after five, so he figures that's good enough for morning, and gets up. He can't stay in his empty house any longer, so Eddie slips on the worn sweater that he keeps hanging off the back of his door, grabs his keys and wallet, puts on his shoes, and then he's out the door.

The drive to the hospital is quick, but now he has nothing to do but wait. He turns on the radio, but keeps it low so that it's just a hum in the background. At some point, Eddie must doze, because the next thing he knows, he's being startled awake by his ringtone and the clock on his dashboard reads half past seven.

"Hello, is this Mr. Di—"

"Yes," he interrupts the caller, not caring how he sounds, "I'm outside."  

"Okay, we'll send him to you now." And it's all Eddie can do to mumble a quick thank you before hanging up.

He doesn't go up to the doors, but his truck is parked close enough to the front that Buck can't miss him. Still, he gets out, leans against the driver side door, and waits. It doesn't take long, maybe a minute or two, and Buck is walking out the doors, looking side to side, eyes searching. He's clean, his curls are soft, if a little messy, and his whole face lights up the moment he sees Eddie.

"You look like shit," is the first thing Buck says to him. He comes right up to Eddie, less than a foot away, and Eddie has to clutch his hands together so he doesn't reach out and touch. But even without touching him, the weight that has made a home in Eddie's chest since last night melts away, like it's made of ice and Buck of flame.

"Well," Eddie tries to joke, "Not all of us got our beauty sleep." But he can't hide the heaviness in his voice, he can't help how it wavers now that the tension is gone, he can't help but lower his head.

"Hey, Eddie," Buck says earnestly, taking hands he didn't even realize were shaking in his own.  

And it's the softness in his voice, the thumb running over his knuckles, the pulse he can feel once he lets himself grip Buck's wrist, that gives him the strength to answer, "Yeah, Buck?"

"We're okay," Buck tells him, like a promise. Like the answer to a question Eddie hadn't dared ask because it terrified him. Buck's hands move from their grip on Eddie's, one hand sliding around his waist, the other coming to the back of his head.

"Yeah," Eddie whispers into the space between Buck's shoulder and neck, "we're okay."

Buck only holds him tighter now, his lips pressed to Eddie's temple, as he releases a shuttering breath. They stay there, each clutching the other, until they no longer feel adrift, until their moorings are once again anchored in a cove, and no longer lost in the rolling waves of the open ocean.

[milenadaniels]

Before the Night Fades, 8.6k - POV Outsider on Buck/Eddie double date shenanigans (AO3)

“I have a bottle of champagne, four champagne flutes, one engagement ring to go into one of those champagne flutes, and a note to deliver it all to table 34 with dessert,” Tomas explains, wide-eyed, throwing his hand back to the prep station where said champagne is waiting on ice next to four flutes and a small ring box.

“Okay?”

“Okay so there’s two men and two women and I have no idea who’s getting proposed to. I’m not even 100% on who came with who."

---

Or, EddieAna and BuckTaylor double date and it ruins everyone's night.

The nearly-post-COVID return to normal rush is going exactly as well as management at the Tilted Cactus expected it would, which is to say it’s going as miserably as the waitstaff at the Tilted Cactus expected it would.

The owners lost a lot of money to lockdowns, diminished capacity and the general (extremely warranted) paranoia of co-mingling in public during an international plague for the sake of overpriced appetizers. And despite accurately predicting the business would boom once the doors re-opened, management didn’t feel the need to account for more staff to serve said business.

So despite owing $34k on her student loans (that’s after a generous gift from both her parents and her maternal grandmother), barely being able to afford rent in LA, and the utter lack of career prospects, Mere is taking a break in the backroom, next to the dirty mop bucket, mentally running through her finances before she officially gives her notice.

She can’t quit, she knows that.

Turns out leaving New Zealand for LA with nothing but a dream and the idea that if Taika could do it so could she was not the most future-proof plan she could have come up with. The starving artist thing was so 2010.

But Mere’s made up her mind. She’s not made for this abuse. This is bullshit. She’s going to pack up, go home, and you know, do...something else. She’ll figure it out.

Mere pulls herself up from her indelicate crouch on some empty crates and goes in search of a piece of paper — or a fucking napkin, who cares — on which to write up her official resignation.

“No, in section 3A,” she hears Tomas fake-whisper. He’s one of the few new hires to grace these hallowed halls and still thinks it’s disrespectful to talk shit about customers even in the backroom. Umida, a five year veteran of this distinguished profession, has been trying to disabuse him of this particular nonsense.

“Where the fuck is section 3A, Tommy? We have sections 1 to 9, we don’t have any letters.”

“The new sidewalk sections have letters, to distinguish them from inside.”

“You mean sections 10 and 11?”

“...Mr. Peters said they’re using letters.”

“Mr. Peters can swallow my entire ass. The sidewalk sections are literally right outside the door from 9, why would they not be called 10 and 11?”

“Or ‘Hell On Earth’ and ‘Kill Me Please’, as we call them colloquially,” Mere offers, startling Tomas as she pushes through the swinging door she’d been hiding behind. Patio dining is highly encouraged and an excellent way to dine if one has patios. The Tilted Cactus does not have patios. It has a temporary license to put tables on the dirty sidewalk outside their restaurant, where waitstaff get to weave around pedestrians, dogs, and carts like they’re completing an obstacle course.

“Yeah, those work,” Umida agrees, emphasizing her point with a dispirited index finger in Mere’s direction.

“Okay, whatever,” Tomas says with a pained eye roll. “Can you please just check it out and let me know?”

“What’s happening?” Mere asks. She’s leaving this popsicle stand (ideally, on fire as she walks away slowly into the night) but she’s also starved of both human attention and the inherent drama of the culinary world so she’ll be damned if she misses out on one final showdown.

Tomas takes a breath to steel himself. “I have a bottle of champagne, four champagne flutes, one engagement ring to go into one of those champagne flutes, and a note to deliver it all to table 34 with dessert,” Tomas explains, wide-eyed, throwing his hand back to the prep station where said champagne is waiting on ice next to four flutes and a small ring box.

“Okay?”

“Okay so there’s two men and two women and I have no idea who’s getting proposed to. I’m not even 100% on who came with who.”

“You don’t have gaydar where you come from?” Umida asks in perfect deadpan.

Tomas glares harder, crosses his arms and juts one hip out. “I come from San Francisco. We invented gaydar. I’m saying I’m pretty sure the guys are together, but I’m also pretty sure they’re each with the women they’re sitting next to. So figure that out.”

“Like a double thruple?” Mere asks, now actually becoming curious.

“Like a ‘I don’t know what y’all are smoking this far north but I don’t understand your weird relationship dynamics and I’m still on probation and I can’t lose this job because I can’t move back in with my brother because I will murder him and I can’t be an only child with aging parents in this economy so can you please just go out there and tell me what the fuck is happening so I can throw this ring at the right person and punch out sometime before I ‘accidentally’ fall on the meat clever downstairs?’ kind of situation.”

Umida and Mere share a glance.

“Okay, well, don’t despair, new guy,” Mere says with a pat on his arm. “Save the meat cleaving for the capitalist elite. We got you. Let the pros handle this.”

“What did the note say?” Umida asks. “One ‘e’ or two? We can at least eliminate half of our options.”

Tomas does not check the note to spot whether the note-taker had written ‘fiancé’ or ‘fiancée’. He stares them down and fips the note in his fingers so the text faces them.

“It says ‘finance’.”

“Ah.”

“We’re going to need a more hands-on investigation, then,” Mere announces.

—————————-

Mere goes first, only because Umida was on her way to swap a side dressing for her table when Tomas intercepted her.

Mere carries a jug of water and makes the rounds of the outdoor tables, trying to hold in her visible distaste for the pseudo-patio vibe the owners tried to make happen out here. There’s a bike stand and a taxi stand two feet from where people are trying to have a romantic dinner. Every now and again, the LA traffic gets rowdy and noisy, completely butchering the atmosphere. There’s a shitty speaker funneling in some Frank Sinatra but it really does nothing to help.

But after this mystery is solved, none of this will be her problem anymore.

Like Tomas said, there are two men and two women sitting like cardinal points around a round table. The women are on the north and east ends, the men on the south and west ones. Two of them are brunets, one a redhead, and one a blond. They’re all disgustingly gorgeous.

And that’s all she’s got.

“The ravioli sounds so good,” the brunette woman says, casting a look at the brunet man to her side.

“Yeah, it does,” he says.

“Mm,” the blond man disagrees. “It’s got feta.”

“What’s wrong with feta?” Asks the redheaded woman.

“Absolutely nothing is wrong with feta,” he responds with a superior smile directed at the man next to him who’s preemptively adopting the look of someone ready to hear some bullshit. “Unless you have an underdeveloped palate and are simply overwhelmed by such strong delicacies as a moderately salty cheese.”

“Okay, don’t talk to me about an underdeveloped palate, Pennsylvania,” the other man responds, posturing despite the softness of his eyes.

“Hey, I said nothing to besmirch the great state of Texas. Texas is a wonder of culinary delight. I’m saying you’re...a simple man.”

“Feta’s disgusting and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on,” the brunet says with smug finality, holding the other man’s eyes until they’re both smirking and looking back at their menus.

Well then.

Mere’s a little bummed as she fills the water at table 36. She’d been hoping the mystery would run longer than 2 whole minutes, but these guys are definitely together. So the mystery will only come down to who’s getting eng—

“Thankfully Chris inherited a more refined palate,” the blond man — Pennsylvania — chirps as the last word.

“He did,” the brunette woman chimes in with a playful smile. “He loves my cooking. You both loved that greek salad I made last week, didn’t you? That had feta in it.”

“It did!” the brunet man replies, slipping his hand overtop hers. “And I loved it. So clearly context is a factor.”

Mere almost spills the rest of the water all over the lady at table 38 as she takes in the man and woman mooning at each other. Though if it’s any consolation, the redheaded woman looks as unimpressed as Mere feels.

“Yeah, I have no idea,” Mere reports back to Tomas.

“The redheads are playing footsie under the table now. That’s one couple at least right?” Tomas asks. The two of them are parked behind the bar where they can see through the window outside but the exterior tint prevents anyone outside from seeing them. The bar is still used for pouring drinks but the stools are gone — can’t maintain 6 feet between them — so the staff pretty much have the run of this corner of the restaurant.

“He’s not a redhead,” Mere mutters, looking out the window to catch the action. “It’s like a dark blond. And I don’t know, I’m pretty sure the two brunets are together, but then blond guy’s foot is way into the other guy’s space.” For a moment she’s distracted by just how damn long his legs are. “That’s certainly...familiar.”

“They’re lesbians,” Umida declares when she returns from dropping off plates at table 32.

“They’re lesbians?” Tomas parrots skeptically. “I did not get that vibe.”

“I could see lesbian for the redhead, I think,” Mere says. “Don’t know about the brunette.”

“Lesbians come in all flavours,” Umida informs them haughtily. It’s the start of Pride month and her hijab is held together by an “Ally” pin. “You can’t tell someone’s orientation just by looking at them.”

“But you’ve declared them lesbians,” Mere points out.

“Because lesbians are approaching their table and only lesbians know other lesbians.”

“That’s definitely not true,” Tomas reproaches.

“No, she’s right, lesbians coming up!” Mere watches as two more unfairly gorgeous women approach with two young boys in tow. Honestly, screw LA and their beauty standards. The parties look surprised to see each other, but they clearly know each other well. One of the boys stays with the women, but the other one breaks off to join the table.

“No, I mean you can know lesbians without being a lesbian.”

Umida and Mere ignore him.

“Okay, that’s one of their kids, right?” Umida asks. “Lesbians babysitting for date night?”

“He’s got Pennsylvania’s curls,” Mere agrees. "That's the blond guy, by the way, I think he’s from there. Brunet guy is Texas for the time being."

The boy reaches the table and is pulled into a strong hug by Texas, who then directs him to a hug with the brunette.

“Oh, unexpected.” Mere would have sworn he was a dead ringer for Pennsylvania. “But okay, that confirms the hand-holding I saw. We have a set of parents. And unless this is a super modern table, I don’t see the parents being here on dates with other people.”

“Mm, I don’t know.” Umida dithers. “That’s like an auntie hug, not a parent hug. Like if she is the mom, the kid is not happy with her.”

“Wait,” Tomas says.

The boy is wiggling out of Brunette’s grasp and rounding the table to Pennsylvania who’s waiting with a wide smile and open arms, and instead of letting go after, the boy finagles his way onto Pennsylvania’s lap to steal a breadstick. Pennsylvania reaches into the basket for another breadstick to pass to the little boy still waiting with his moms and Mere’s heart tugs a little.

Texas watches on from across the table with unrestrained fondness. His leg shifts to press against Pennsylvania’s who looks up with a smile.

“Boom, gay dads!” Tomas crows.

“And lesbians,” Umida adds.

“Redhead definitely has no part of this,” Mere notes. The woman is smiling but it’s polite and practised, not warm or welcoming. “I guess the brunets could be siblings maybe? Really close siblings?”

Finally, the babysitters make to leave so Pennsylvania kisses the boy’s temple and guides him back to his feet. Texas presses his own kiss to the boy’s curls as he passes, saying something they can’t make out from behind the glass. Brunette gets only a wave as he leaves.

“Gays and lesbians,” Umida concludes smugly.

“Okay, good,” Tomas sighs with relief. “So we know who the couples are, now who’s gettin—”

“Um,” Mere interrupts, pointing at the table.

Redhead’s foot is making its way up Pennsylvania’s leg and he shoots her a grin.

“For fuck’s sake,” Tomas spits as he walks away.

“Did you even take their order yet?” Mere calls after him. He doesn’t answer.

———-

Mere gets pulled away because now that she’s not quitting in outrage until this table 34 drama is over, she figures she should actually get back to work. Happily, having not seen her for the last 20 minutes, Mikael figured she had left or died and had taken over her section. She agrees to split half the tips with him and lets herself be pulled back into the tide of madness.

“Got it figured yet, Tim-Tam?” she asks when she passes him near the bathrooms.

“The guys are sharing their orders,” he says despondently.

“That’s not that incriminating. I split my orders with people. I’m not about to pay full price to discover if I like something.”

“No,” Tomas glares before gesturing to the window with disgust. “They’re sharing their orders.”

Tomas stalks away to hopefully take an herbal break to calm down and Mere goes back to the window just in time to catch the insanity. Mere feels Umida come up behind her and tries to suppress her shiver when her “what in all that is holy” skates across her bare shoulder.

Pennsylvania has just finished piling some of his spaghetti on Texas’ plate, which is exceedingly normal. But now Pennsylvania is reaching for Texas' burger.

“He didn’t cut that,” Umida notes.

“No, he did not.”

They have pretty messy burgers at Tilted Cactus, ones that are hard to share because if you cut them down the middle they tend to lose structural integrity. Of course, this isn’t a big concern if you’re sharing already-bitten-into burgers. Which these absolute freaks are doing.

“Gays and lesbians,” Umida declares again, the earlier smugness replaced with an air of disgust.

But when Umida walks away, Mere watches Brunette wipe something off Texas’ cheek and frowns. One throuple and redheaded side piece? Maybe?

————

“I’m struggling with lesbians as a theory,” Mere tells Umida the next chance she gets at the pickup counter. “I want to believe, but…”

“Yeah, I’m doubting now too. They’re almost exclusively talking to each other. But then I realized it was more getting-to-know-you conversation and this would be a hell of a weird first date.”

“Huh, so heteros all around?”

“Well, I also caught on that they’re spending all this time talking to each other because the guys are like in their own world. Finishing each others’ —”

“Sandwiches?”

“Exactly,” Umida grins, unexpectedly delighted by the reference. “So I don’t know. I really don’t envy Tommy.”

“Me either.”

“Hey Manish,” Umida yells out to the other side of the pickup window, “I’m picking up for Lenore but she’s got a two-seater, why do I have four dishes here?”

“Because Lenore can’t write for shit,” Mere says, picking up the order slip and squinting at the scrawl. “These are for table 24, not 29. It’s a four-seater.”

“Alright, well I guess you’re helping me, then,” Umida says with a wink.

Umida is fully capable of carrying four dishes on her own but she’s asking Mere to come with her so Mere’s already reaching for the plates, hoping the blush on her cheek can be written off as heat from the kitchen.

————-

During a slow stretch, Mere takes it upon herself to refill water and wine glasses in section 10.

From table 32 she can hear them talking about elementary school workloads.

“Oh, ah, I meant to let you know,” Pennsylvania says to Redhead, sitting up in his seat. “I can’t make it to the movies next Friday, can we move it to the next week? I should know my schedule by Wednesday.”

“Sure,” Redhead says with a hint of bite to her pleasant smile. “But I thought you had Friday off.”

“I do,” Pennsylvania says, his lips curving into a small, excited smile, “but Christopher won his class’ public speaking competition and they’re doing a kind of show of all the winners for the parents, and it’s on Friday.”

Mere moves around table 34 and heads for table 36 next, but catches the looks of discomfort on every face aside from Pennsylvania’s. He doesn’t realize he’s said something wrong, but the rest of them have.

“Isn’t that just during school hours?” Brunette woman asks.

Texas hesitates before saying, “yeah, but we’re taking him to Universal after to celebrate.”

Out of pity, Mere doubles back to table 34 and reaches for his water glass to fill. People tend to keep their drama buckled while the waitstaff is there. And sure enough, Redhead glances up and paints a tense smile on her face.

“Yeah, not a problem. That sounds exciting.”

There’s a bite to her words, and by the way his shoulders tense and his fingers curl more tightly around his fork, Texas seems to have picked up on it.

————-

By the end of the entrees, most of the staff have caught onto Tomas’ predicament and one by one everyone from the table-bussers to the cooks have gone out for a smokeless smoke break to try to be the one to divine what the hell is happening at table 34.

None are successful.

“This isn’t even like a romantic date,” Mani laments. “Like none of them are that dressed up and they’re talking about like natural disasters and shit. I don’t get a proposal vibe from like any of them.”

“Who even goes on a double date to propose? Who does that? It’s so tacky!” Gabby says from behind the bar where she’s helping herself to a quick nip before she heads home.

“Who still thinks the ring in the champagne bit is a good idea, is my question. It’s a choking hazard!” Mere says. “How romantic to start off your engagement with a trip to the ER.”

Tomas ignores them all. He looks about 10 minutes away from saying to hell with his probationary status and drinking the next hour away straight out of the vodka bottle at his elbow. “I know it’s Pride and I should be representing but I could really do with a little heteronormativity right now.”

—————-

Tomas is stalling.

Table 34 asked for dessert, of course, and when he vaguely floated the idea of champagne, Texas had readily agreed, so this is happening. The champagne flutes are lined up on a tray, the champagne in them is warming with every minute that passes, and he is no closer to figuring out what to do.

“What if I put all the glasses in the middle and they have to pick which one they want?”

“Okay but the person getting proposed to tonight likely doesn’t know?” Mikael says.

“What if you pretend you didn’t see the instructions?” Shania pitches. “As if we can ever write stuff down correctly anyway. Just say it said to bring out the champagne but nothing about the ring being in a flute! Just hand it back to the proposer and let them get it done.”

“You think we don’t know who the proposee is but we know who the proposer is?” Tomas bites. “If I knew that, Shania, I could have just called them away with a phone call or something and asked them who to give the flute to.”

“Geez,” Shania exclaims, hopping off the bar counter to walk away. “You try to help…”

“And then there were three,” Mario announces as he comes back from another completely unnecessary round of filling water glasses outside.

Tomas’ head snaps up from where he’d been staring into the countertops. “What?”

They all rush to the window and sure enough: Redhead is gone.

“I didn’t see her come in,” Mere says, almost breathlessly. If she’d come in to use the restroom, they would have seen her.

“No, she’s gone-gone,” Mario supplies. “Said she had to get back to work but I’m pretty sure she just wanted out. That’s the chick from the news, you know?”

“People still watch the news?” Mere wondered aloud.

Tomas tsks. “Redhead was the least probable suspect!”

“Well we can rule out Brunette and Pennsylvania as a couple, right?” Umida asks, waiting briefly for the gathered crowd to nod. “Okay, so we’re down to the brunets together, or Pennsylvania and Texas.”

“Or polyamorous,” Mikael sniffs. Mikael is trying polyamory. He doesn’t know there’s a bet going on how long he’ll last. It’s a fine relationship style to get into but one he and his jealousy and insecurity issues are deeply unsuited for.

“Apologies, Mikael, or polyamorous. So you have...yeah, 3 of 3 options left for that ring,” Umida grimaces.

“Wait!” So-Hee cries. She’s supposed to be hosting at the entrance but COVID-19 protocols mean people don’t show up earlier than 5 minutes before their reservation so the podium isn’t very backed up. “What does the ring look like? That could be a clue, right?”

They look to Tomas, whose face is blank.

“You didn’t look?” Mere accuses him, though to be fair it never occurred to her either.

So-Hee pounces on the deep purple velvet box without waiting for Tomas to answer.

“Please god,” Tomas mumbles, grabbing the box out of her hands and prying it open with almost reckless enthusiasm.

All six members of staff currently on duty at the window crowd around, many heads bumping together to catch a glimpse. The ring nestled in the box has a slim, dainty band with a solitaire diamond jutting out proudly, with filigree details on either side.

“Oh thank sweet baby Jesus, that is a woman’s ring!” Tomas nearly yells.

“It could be a man’s ring,” Umida protests weakly, almost sad to see the drama come to an end.

Mere’s a little put out too if she’s being honest. But even if they couldn’t tell from the design, the sizing is way too small to fit on either of table 34’s men’s fingers, as So-Hee demonstrates by plucking the ring up and sliding it onto her own tiny finger.

“Yeah, get it stuck on your sweaty fingers, So-Hee,” Tomas protests almost hysterically, feeling his win come into danger. He wrestles it back off her finger and shoves it back in the box before taking a deep cleansing breath.

“Okay, I’ve got a dessert course to deliver,” he says, the picture of calm professionalism as if he hasn’t spent the last hour losing his entire shit.

———-

They should disperse then, but like brothers in arms after battle, all of them feel the need to stand guard as Tomas prepares to deliver the goods.

Some of them, like So-Hee, stand because they’ve foolishly become emotionally invested in the upcoming nuptial bliss.

Some of them, like Umida, stand because they fell in love with their version of events and they feel the need to properly mourn for what might have been.

“They’re co-parenting that boy,” Umida grumbles. “We all saw that! They can’t deny that!”

And some of them, like Mere, stand because they really can’t be bothered to get back to work.

But stand together they do as Tomas plops the ring in one flute and carries the tray out.

“Excuse me,” comes a voice off to the side of their group.

So-Hee, ever the consummate people-pleaser, actually turns to take care of the customer. The rest of them stay fixed at the window. “Yes, sir, can I help you?”

“Maybe? I couldn’t help but notice that young man taking some champagne out.”

“Yes, would you like to order a bottle as well?” So-Hee pokes Mikael. “We’d be happy to bring some out to you.”

“Ah, no,” the man says. “Well, yes. But I’ve already ordered some. I called earlier, when I reserved my table.”

Mere stiffens, her sixth sense borne of years of customer service piquing. Beside her, Umida takes note as well.

“I asked that champagne be brought to the table with dessert, and I left a box...one that looks a lot like the one on your counter there. And I’m sure it’s just a coincidence but I couldn’t help but want to make sure it’s not my ring that just went out to that other table.”

Mere’s wide eyes spring to Umida’s.

“Oh my fuck,” Umida whispers.

Then they’re both racing for the door.

“Wrong table, wrong table, wrong table,” Mere mutters under her breath as she dodges a stroller and a dog walker trying to reach Tomas —

“Oh, Edmundo!” Brunette exclaims brightly.

Umida’s hand braces Mere like a soccer mom in a car.

It’s too late now.

There’s nothing they can do but watch this trainwreck happen.

Happily, Redhead vacated the seat nearest to them so they have an unobstructed view of Brunette’s eyes filling with tears, of Texas’ wide eyes, and of Pennsylvania’s face losing all colour.

From context, Texas is the Edmundo Brunette is so pleased with.

But Edmundo is shaking his head, his brow furrowed. “I...wha— ”

Pennsylvania comes back to himself first, though the smile he paints on his face is strained and frail. “Ah, con — congratulations.”

“Wha— Buck, no.”

Pennsylvania — Buck — stands up from the table like a colt learning to walk, his eyes darting across the table without landing anywhere. “I — ah — I should let you guys celebrate.”

“Buck, no, I—” Edmundo’s voice is firmer now, his hand darting out to reach for Buck, and Brunette starts to catch on that nobody’s getting down on one knee with a flowery speech.

“Edmundo?” she calls, her bright smile dimming.

Edmundo looks torn and trapped in equal measure, and Mere wonders for a heartbreaking moment if maybe he’s as confused about his relationships as the Tilted Cactus employees have been tonight.

With a sigh, and a reminder that she’s out of this place like Cinderella at midnight, Mere falls on the proverbial meat cleaver. Stepping around Umida’s still outstretched arm, Mere weaves herself in front of Tomas just in case there’s any physical fallout, and pitches her voice low so the neighbouring tables will have to strain to listen in.

“Excuse me, my name is Mere, I’m the assistant manager. I am so sorry to inform you there’s been a terrible mistake. We’ve delivered a ring to your table that was destined to another this evening. We apologize deeply for any confusion this has caused and we will of course be comping your meals.”

“It—Oh.” Brunette’s eyes land on the ring on her finger, and her remaining excitement implodes into embarrassment so quickly and resoundly that Mere’s surprised it doesn’t produce an audible sound. The fingers of her opposite hand grip the ring and pause for a moment before slipping it off. There’s no box to slip it into so Mere holds out her hand, the other tucked neatly behind her back.

“Thank you,” Mere says quietly. “Please forgive us for the mistake. We will be investigating what happened so it never happens again.”

“Of course,” Brunette says lightly, forcing some life back into her voice. “I’m sure you didn’t mean any harm by it.”

Her eyes lift then and take in the scene across from her. Edmundo and Buck still standing, Edmundo’s hand wrapped round Buck’s wrist to keep him from leaving, and her eyes shutter once more.

“If you’ll excuse me, I need to freshen up,” she says politely, rising from her seat and escaping into the restaurant.

Edmundo watches her go but says nothing, frozen still, holding onto the man beside him.

With all eyes more or less off them now, Mere gathers Tomas and Umida and hauls ass back into the restaurant.

————-

The ring is cleaned and inspected by Gareth, its actual owner, who is amiable enough to not escalate the situation further. His fiancée-to-be is none the wiser on any of these happenings — luckily their table, 29, is indoors — so his proposal is still on for the next course. But, just in case it doesn’t go the way Gareth hopes and he turns on them, Mere preemptively comps their meal too and congratulates him before he’s reseated.

On her way back to the kitchen, she grabs Lenore and uses the last hour of her completely fake authority to formally bar her from ever answering the phone again, or taking notes from the phone, or writing anything anywhere ever again. Lenore, having heard about the drama at table 34 and having seen the crying woman rush to the bathroom just now, accepts with little resistance.

And Mere, heart heavy with the weight of what they’ve done to this poor woman, mentally shakes her fist at her own curiosity and need for schadenfreude. If she’d bailed on this place an hour ago, she wouldn’t be leaving with this heartache by proxy.

As if beckoned by her thoughts, Brunette emerges from the bathroom just as Mere is crossing in front of it. She looks better, her tears packed away, and her cheeks only slightly reddened. Mere is about to offer her something — a glass of water? wine? a whole bottle? — when Edmundo steps into view. Mere doesn’t break stride until she’s behind the protection of the pay terminal privacy partition where she can see them but not be seen.

“Hey,” he says softly, his frame pretty loose and relaxed for a man who looked so troubled moments ago.

“Hey,” she returns with a forced smile.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know—”

Brunette cuts him off with a hand. “It’s not your fault. They made a mistake. It happens.”

Edmundo nods.

“But…” Brunette continues, fidgeting with the strap of her purse. “For a moment, it didn’t seem far-fetched that it...might be real, you know? I know we’ve been taking things slow, but we have been seeing each other for nearly a year now. And I thought… I don’t know what I thought, but it...it didn’t seem so far-fetched.”

Edmundo’s shoulders have grown tense, and it doesn’t escape Brunette’s notice. She smiles sadly.

“But then I looked up and you weren’t even looking at me. You were looking at Buck. You were so scared he would leave and that — that just doesn’t make sense, does it? I mean, even if the...the ring was a big misunderstanding, wouldn’t it have been better that he leave so we could talk about it privately? But you were scared, because he was upset… And if he was...I don’t know...upset that you hadn’t told him about this, you could have caught up later and discussed it, cleared it up.”

Edmundo says nothing, but he hangs his head and gnaws on his lower lip.

“But you were scared. Scared of him leaving in that moment. Scared...that he’d leave with the wrong idea? That he’d leave thinking you were — we were... ” Brunette sighs sharply. “I think I’ve been a fool.”

“You haven’t—” Edmundo tries to say.

“No, I have. It’s felt so many times like there’s been a third wheel in this relationship, and I genuinely didn’t realize until now that it was me. And maybe I’m naive but I’d like to think you didn’t realize it until today either. That you’re just as big a fool as I am. And maybe Buck is too.”

Edmundo opens his mouth twice to say something but nothing comes out. In the end, he settles on, “Ana, I’m sorry. I...didn’t realize. I don’t even know if I understand what I realize. But I...I know you’re one of the best people I’ve ever met and you didn’t deserve this.”

Brunette — Ana — smiles again sadly, and if a touch bitterly, she’s entitled to it.

“Thank you,” she says softly, before fidgeting with her purse strap again. “I’m going to go. You’ll...say goodbye to Buck for me?” Edmundo nods.

“Goodbye, Edmundo.”

“Take care, Ana,” he responds.

Ana takes a few steps before stopping and turning. “Good luck. I think…” she shakes her head before repeating, “good luck,” and leaving out the side doors.

Mere unglues herself from the privacy wall and slinks sadly back to the bar where she finds Tomas and Umida already halfway through a glass of red each. There’s a third, untouched glass waiting for her.

“We’re horrible people,” Mere decides. “Brunette and Texas just broke up.”

“We didn’t do this,” Umida protests half-heartedly. “Technically, Tomas did.”

“Ugh, you ass,” Tomas sputters. “The note said table 34, you all saw it. It’s Lenore’s fault.”

“It is Lenore’s fault,” Mere agrees before downing half her glass like a shot. Out the window, she can see Pennsyl — Buck — slumped in his chair, staring at the tablecloth. There’s a fresh bottle of wine on the table, two empty glasses at his and Edmundo’s places. Mere raises a glass at Tomas for the gesture.

“If they don’t end up drinking it, I’m taking it home,” Tomas says, “I already wrote it off.”

That’s fair.

Unfortunately for him, when Edmundo gets back to the table, he immediately pours them both a very full glass.

Buck straightens out in his chair, looking concerned and looking around for Ana, who doesn’t materialize. Edmundo says something that has Buck relaxing but looking guilty. Then Edmundo shuffles closer and puts a hand back on Buck’s wrist.

“Okay, back to work,” Mere orders. “We’ve intruded on this drama way too much already.”

When she finds her way back to the bar some twenty minutes later for a totally appropriate reason, table 34 is empty.

————————

A year later, Mere finds herself sitting on the Tilted Cactus bar counter on a Friday night, legs swinging and popping olives like they’re mints. She ended up not quitting her job the night she intended to. Between the excitement, the drama, and the on-duty alcohol, she was feeling pretty chill about sticking it out at the Tilted Cactus a while longer.

But she ended up quitting two days later when the owner found out about how she impersonated an assistant manager and gave her hell for it. She could have stayed, he wasn’t really going to reprimand her. But listening to him talk down at her while her stomach filled with dread at the idea of having to apologize and walk back into that hell hole…nah. Fuck the Tilted Cactus, fuck the owner, and fuck two weeks’ notice. They weren’t getting a minute out of her ever again.

She took the gamble of taking out more student loans and was wrapping up her EMT certification. She’d be in an ambulance soon enough, actually helping people. Not the dream that got her to America, but one that would suffice for now. Make up enough karma to get her feet back under her.

“The lesbians are back,” Umida announces excitedly in a whisper as she fits herself between Mere’s legs against the bar.

“Which lesbians?”

“THEE lesbians,” Umida returns, pointing out the window.

“Those are two guys, babe. Three if you count the kid.”

“They’re lesbians,” Umida insists, waving her hand to dismiss the kid from her labels. “They have strong lesbian energy.”

“You’re claiming them for your people?” Mere grins fondly. It’s the start of Pride again and Umida’s Ally pin has been traded in for a lesbian-flag coloured hijab secured with the updated BIPOC Pride flag pin. She’s very pretty in pink, right down to the lipstick Mere isn’t allowed to kiss off of her until her shift is up.

“I am, they’re mine. I claim them.”

“Wait,” Mere squints, trying to pin down the familiar feeling she’s getting, “are those…”

“The guys! Eddie and Buck. I told you they were semi-regulars now. And we were right, that’s totally their kid. I don’t know how, especially since we know they weren’t together before that night, but he’s their kid. My money’s on one of them being trans because he’s literally their spitting image combined.”

Mere sighs happily and hugs Umida to her. “Well, I’m glad some good came out of that night.”

“Umida?” a young voice asks from across the bar. In the year since the reopening, a slew of new hires have joined the ranks to replace all the veterans leaving and Mere barely recognizes anyone anymore. She saw Mikael (unsurprisingly single again) a couple of weeks ago but he’s clearly on his way out too. Tomas lasted until his probation was over before quitting. Umida, in no small part because she was the longest lasting employee, was rightfully promoted to the role of assistant manager. Mere still hopes she’ll leave this hell hole soon but in the meantime, at least she’s getting paid. And authority looks really good on her.

“What up, Jerome?”

Jerome pushes his dark blue fringe back and holds up a sheet of paper. “I have a note here to deliver a ring to a table with dessert but it doesn’t say who’s supposed to get it.”

“Oh my god, no, no way,” Mere laughs and tries to push Umida away. “Let me out of here.”

Umida’s arms close around her hips, preventing her escape.

“Calm down. I created a form so that night doesn’t happen again. Jerome, did you use the form?”

“Um, yeah.” He shakes the sheet of paper in his hands. “I mean whoever took the call did. They checked off the table number, and it’s a ‘fiancé’ not a ‘fiancée’, but it’s a table with two guys so…”

“Okay, but there’s a field for the name, did they fill it out?”

“How am I supposed to know who they are from a name though?”

“Oh my god, kid, you schmooze,” Umida says. “You roll up to their table, you lay on the customer service thick and introduce yourself and ask their names. People are idiots, they’ll tell you, just like that.”

Jerome cocks his head in contemplation. “Yeah okay, but no, there’s no name. It’s blank.”

“But you made a form,” Mere mock whispers.

Umida turns on her, her eyeshadow catching the bar lights as she narrows her eyes. “This is not the form’s fault, don’t you blame this on the form! The form has a field for a name! The form provides!”

“The form is flawless,” Mere agrees quickly, running her hand down Umida’s arm soothingly. “You can’t account for user error.”

Umida glares harder before looking up to the ceiling in supplication.

Mere, who has never in her life been able to resist picking at a scab, asks, “what table is it?”

Jerome checks the paper. “34.”

“The cursed table. The cursed lesbians!” Mere gasps, squirming out of the way when Umida tries to pinch her side.

“Well it’s not like the kid is a contender, so it’s 50/50,” Umida points out. “Much better odds than last time.”

“And to be fair, if the wrong guy gets the flute, he can just improvise and propose with the ring in hand,” Mere continues. “Overall, much less exciting drama than last time. 3/10 for me.”

“Thank god. Yeah, let’s do that.” Jerome walks away with his marching orders and Umida turns to Mere. “I have to actually go work. You gonna hang out here?” She’s off in a half hour and they have tickets to the back row of the latest Marvel nonsense.

“I got booze, olives, and an unobstructed view of my favourite drama. I’m all set.” In lieu of a proper kiss, Mere lifts Umida’s hand and kisses her wrist, delighting in watching her girlfriend’s eyes soften. She blows Mere a kiss and flits away to put out fires.

Mere is usually on her phone while she waits for Umida but tonight she watches table 34. The guys — Eddie and Buck, Umida reminded her — are across the table from each other, Eddie is relaxed in his chair but Buck is leaning forward, elbows on the table as he tells their son a story that has him cackling in his seat. They’re not holding hands, but anyone looking can see they’re together. They have ridiculous heart eyes for each other, and from her vantage point she can see those long legs intermingling again, one knee occasionally jostling into the other. Little tangible reminders that they’re there and together.

She saw hints of this that night, and to see it have taken hold and blossomed...suddenly she’s really invested in them having a great night. One of them planned this night out, wanted to surprise the other, and she doesn’t want that going to waste because of a blank field on a form.

Mere’s wearing a dark long-sleeve blouse, not too far off the dress code, so slips off the counter, snags the backup apron they always leave behind the bar and ties it around her waist. One of the newbies whose name she doesn’t know watches her from the host pedestal and Mere raises a fierce eyebrow at them until they go back to minding their own business.

She rinses out a jug and fills it with water and ice and slips back into her customer service posture to make the rounds of the tables in section 10.

“Well now, I recognize you handsome folk, don’t I?” she schmoozes when she gets to table 34, picking up Eddie’s glass first to fill.

Eddie doesn’t place her and she doesn’t blame him, he was under a lot of stress that night. It takes Buck a second but he gets it.

“Oh hey, yeah! Weren’t you — “ Buck cuts himself off awkwardly and casts an eye to Eddie and the kid. “You, ah, gave us our meals for free! Because of the, um, mix-up.”

That’s enough for Eddie to place her, and where Buck relaxes back into his chair as she fills his glass, Eddie goes stock still.

Bingo.

“What mix-up?” the kid asks.

“Ah, they put something in our drink by accident,” Buck lies without lying. “Real choking hazard! So they gave us our meals for free.”

“That’s dangerous,” the kid says.

“It was dangerous,” Mere agrees, filling his glass. “Choking hazard was right. Could have turned a really great night all wrong with a trip to the hospital.”

Eddie’s brow furrows slightly and Mere struggles to keep a neutral face.

“It’s never a good idea to hide things in food. I don’t know why people keep trying instead of just calling us for advice. We have tons of ways to help people with surprises.”

“I completely agree,” Buck says. “We’re actually firefighters and you wouldn’t believe how many accidental choking calls we get.”

Eddie swallows, his eyes looking mildly panicked.

“Firefighters!” Mere schmoozes harder, smiling at the kid as he gets excited again. “Well I certainly feel safer then.”

“Ah, you probably shouldn’t. I was actually one of those calls once,” Buck says halfway through a smile and grimace, pointing to his throat where there’s a faint scar. “Emergency tracheotomy on the floor of a restaurant. But that wasn’t a surprise, just, ah, too enthusiastic about the breadsticks.”

Eddie’s looking decidedly gray now, eyes laser focused on the scar.

“Okay, well I’ll just go ahead and clear these,” Mere says, jokingly reaching for the bread basket until Buck laughs back.

“I’m better now, promise! Small bites, chewed thoroughly!”

“Hmm, I don’t know,” she dithers dramatically, nodding to the kid. “If I leave those here, can I trust you to keep an eye on your dad?”

“Yeah!” the kid agrees with a toothy grin.

Buck’s cheeks redden quickly but he’s still smiling, his head ducked shyly in a way Mere doubts is due to her teasing. Eddie, meanwhile, is still looking poleaxed though fondness is fighting its way back in.

“Well, I was just subbing into this section so this will be goodbye for us but it was great to see you guys! Enjoy your evening!”

“Thanks, you too!” Buck says with an easy smile. Eddie manages a “thank you” and Mere has to restrain herself from patting his shoulder as she walks away.

She’s only just returned the apron to the bar when she sees Eddie walk in and head straight for the host before being led to the back.

“Ready to go?” Umida asks, back in her unsensible heels and cross-chest messenger bag.

Mere takes the hand she extends but tugs her closer instead of following her out, before saying the worst thing she’s ever said in her life, “Actually, do you mind if we stick around a little longer?”

“Something good about to happen?” she asks, peeking out the window.

Mere tugs her in closer and leans her chin on her shoulder. “I think so.”

Twenty minutes later, when Jerome passes by with a tray of assorted chocolate treats and two overturned coffee cups, Mere and Umida find themselves bracketed by half the front and back staff. Gossip still spreads like wildfire it seems.

Buck’s overturned coffee cup and plate is the last thing Jerome puts on the table, and as soon as it’s down, he excuses himself. He keeps a professional pace until he’s past the exterior doors and then he’s racing to take a front seat at the bar.

Eddie turns over his cup but doesn’t reach for the carafe, he wipes his hands on his jeans instead.

“Oh my god, he’s so nervous,” Jerome whispers.

“The kid is so in on it,” the host whose name Mere never caught says, and they’re right. Where Eddie’s tensed up, the kid is bouncing in his seat like he knows something’s coming.

“Come on, guy,” a bus boy mutters, checking his watch. His break is almost over.

Mere’s heart is beating hard in sympathy with Eddie’s as they all watch Buck ignore his coffee cup in favor of serving their kid from the tray. Then he signals to Eddie’s plate, who can’t not lift it for the offered chocolate tortes. Finally, there’s chocolate on everyone’s plates and Buck sits back to try a piece of brownie and Eddie can’t take it anymore.

He motions to the carafe and Buck perks up, finally reaching for his cup. But just as his fingers close around it, some idiot’s dog barks on the sideway, calling his attention away. His fingers flip the cup without ever looking at it, or the plate underneath it.

“Oh come on,” Umida moans.

The dog passes with its dumbass owner and Buck puts his cup back down, or tries to, but finds something in the way. He tries again, pushing the intrusion away with the bottom of the cup.

“Oh my god,” is whined in Mere’s left ear and when she turns her head she’s surprised to find not another Tilted Cactus employee but a customer dressed to the nines, pearls and all.

“Ma’am, did you —”

“Shh,” the woman returns, her eyes never moving from the window. Mere turns back too.

Finally, Buck has managed to push the offending items off the plate and settle his cup down and it’s a nail-biting few seconds where it actually looks like he’s going to reach for the carafe and go about his business.

But like a true wingman, the little kid points directly at it, prompting Buck to push the napkin aside and pick up — the ring.

Buck freezes, holding the ring between his thumb and index. His cheeks flush and a smile begins to break over his face before he looks startled and the smile falls abruptly away.

It’s about this time Eddie realizes that proposing by recreating the night they got together was never going to be the best idea when the impetus to their relationship was an engagement ring accidentally sent to the wrong person.

Eddie vaults out of his seat and into the empty one next to Buck, wrapping his hand around the one holding the ring, and bringing his other hand to his cheek to gently turn his head until Buck is looking at him. They can’t tell what he says, but they can watch Buck’s eyes fill with tears, watch as Eddie gestures to their son who’s smiling wide and reaching out for a hand, which Buck instantly provides. His attention comes back to Eddie then, who’s saying something that gets them both looking a little fragile and it’s hard to say if he actually popped the question yet but Buck is surging forward to kiss him hard and fast. Eddie gives as good as he’s getting for a moment before he slows them with small, gentle kisses. And when they finally break apart, Eddie plucks the ring from Buck’s fingers and slides it onto his ring finger as Buck watches, his eyes wide and half incredulous.

Outside, the nearby tables break out into applause, startling the trio and reminding the two men that they are indeed out in public. Eddie acknowledges the applause with an embarrassed hand and waits until they have a modicum of privacy again before taking Buck’s hand and kissing right near the where the ring now sits. He then reluctantly shuffles back into his seat.

Inside, Mere is hugging Umida to her with a strength buoyed by love. Around them, the staff are starting to disperse, some wiping their eyes, some with goofy grins on their faces.

“Young man,” the lady in the pearls says to Jerome, holding out her credit card, “I want you to charge that family’s meal to my card.”

“Yes, ma’am. That’s very generous of you.”

The woman sniffs delicately and leaves without another word. Hopefully Jerome knows where she was sitting…

“I’m glad she did that,” Mere says into Umida’s shoulder, “I was going to, otherwise, and I’m a broke-ass student.”

“I would have pitched in,” Umida says, her voice soft and pensive. “Ready to go?���

“Yeah,” Mere agrees, sliding off the bar counter for the last time. “Oh, hold on.”

She gets closer to the window and turns the flash off of her camera before taking a pic.

“I think that’s bordering on creepy now,” Umida says without judgement.

“It’s not for me.” Mere sends the pic off with a note and three ring emojis.

They don’t make it out of the restaurant before her phone dings.

“What does Tomas have to say?” Umida asks with a smirk.

Mere pulls up the text and reads, “Gays and lesbians. Both, at the same time. Never doubting Umida’s gaydar again.”

Umida laughs victoriously, which shouldn’t be as sexy as it is, and Mere lets her drag her by the hand down the street, letting the nostalgia from tonight settle in her chest.

If there’s anything she misses from working the restaurant scene, it’s getting this glimpse into people’s lives.

Yeah, most of the work was gross, obnoxious, or mind-numbing. But every now and again, she got to be a part of strangers’ stories. Got to be there for the happiest days like graduations, or bridal showers. And even the sadder stories could be beautiful sometimes, like when she got to be extra kind to the elderly woman coming into the restaurant alone for the first time in ten years, or watch a family have their last supper together before their kid moves away for school. It’s just all so human and some kind of wonderful.

She hopes her career as a paramedic will have just a little bit of that kind of magic.

[aluvian]

Rules: Tag 9 people you'd like to get to know better

Tagged by: @redteekal (Thank you SO SO MUCH for the tag. Mwah, mwah, mwah!!!) 💙💙💙

Favorite time of year: Christmas. I remember last year it was just me and Merlin (my dog) one evening. I had all the lights off except for those on the Christmas tree and the other various decorative ones we put up. One of my favorite instrumental Christmas music compilations was playing sofly in the background. I was curled up in one of the big chairs in the living room, a cup of hot cocoa in my hand, and Merlin on my lap. It was truly one of those moments of utter and complete happiness. I tend to have lots of moments like that during the holidays, and it's something I hold onto and cherish.

Comfort food: There's this cold seafood salad sandwich from a local restaurant, and it's called The Crabby Shrimp. I've been eating it since I was a little girl, and it's probably my favorite sandwich in the world. It's simple and unbelievably delicious. I usually order the smoked fish spread to go with it. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. My mouth is watering as I type all this. I'm hungry now lmao.

Do you collect something?: Oh yes! Comic books, Loungefly backpacks, different copies of the first Dune book (I hope to obtain a copy published in the 70s someday. I'm obsessed with the cover art from that decade), Disney trading pins, chopsticks, mini resin owl figurines, Ina Garten cookbooks, trading cards + candles + pins + menu cards from a bakery I'm obsessed with called Gideon's (they're based in Orlando and have the best cookies I've ever eaten and I LOOOOOVE their nitro cold brew iced coffees too), stuffed animals/plushies (I have a unique collection and will always add to it), figures/statues of my favorite fictional characters, fanart prints, vinyl records, Alex & Ani bracelets, and "The Art Of" books.

Favorite drink: A large McDonald's Coke. Truly the drink of the gods. Bad day? This will fix me. Inject it into my veins.

Favorite song: Truly one of the hardest questions anyone could ask me, tbh. I think I said a Def Leppard (my favorite band of all time) song last time, so I'll pick a different musical group this time. I don't know how many of you listen to the Bee Gees outside of their disco songs, but their stuff from the 90s and early 00s is AMAZING. I grew up listening to their albums from those years most above all their other music. Anyway, the song Embrace is on an album (This is Where I Came In) that came out in 2001, I believe. Hoo boy that is a really really good song. Probably my all time favorite from them.

Current favorite song: The Sound of Silence by Disturbed. My current go to when I'm not listening to my podcasts and can't figure out what music I'm the mood for.

Favorite book: The Haunting of Alaizabel Cray by Chris Wooding. My mom bought it for me for Christmas my freshman year of high school. It's the first book I can actively remember being absolutely frantic to finish reading. I reread it several times a year. The day that book gets made into an animated series or a live action show is the day I ascend.

Favorite fic: OOF WHAT A QUESTION. I truly can't pick, because I have too many favorites, but I'll name one from each of the ships I currently read fic for:

Jaime x Brienne: the battlefield between us (isn't here tonight) by @robotsdance

MSR: Out of Rain by suilven

Royai: Juniper by sixpences

Neo x Trinity: Collateral Damage by nanda (nandamai)

JonMartin: A Measure Outside the Lines by Rend_Herring

Tagging: @kittsunegari @houseoftrinity @exquisitecashmere @genderqueer-klinger @absolutebearings @karrashi @viksworth @kriscynical @ussfaramir @hamster-on-fire and anyone else who wants to play! 💙💙💙

[firstdegreefangirl]

I have no idea where this came from, other than that I saw the screenshots of Chris snuggled up next to Eddie in bed, and the next thing I knew, I was in @loveyourownsmiilee‘s DMs trying to get thoughts down in between work tasks. Then I was in a word doc cleaning it up, and now we’re here. Enjoy!

--

Eddie flexes his ankle, drawing his toes up  and pushing them forward as far as they’ll go before they’re pressed up against the metal railing at the foot of the bedframe. It’s not much movement, but it’s enough to stave off the cramp threatening to wrap itself around his calf muscle. And that’s a hell of a lot more than he can say for the stiffness building up in his lower back.  

He doesn’t fit on a twin bed anymore. He can make it work, if he’s the sole occupant, curl his knees up to his chest and deal with it for a night. But tonight, even though he’s halfway sitting up, shoulder blades digging into the drywall behind him, he doesn’t fit. One leg is dangling off the side, toes brushing the floor. Eddie chuckles to himself about days gone by, when Chris was afraid of the Boogeyman and had to have both arms and legs tucked tightly under the covers.

Back then, Eddie could fit in the bed with him, all eight of their limbs sheathed from bad dreams and monsters under the bed. Tonight, he’s hanging off the edge of the mattress, Chris’ face squished up against his hip.

It's been long, so long, since he's spent the night in this room, and as he looks around between the shadows, he wonders if they shouldn't think about redecorating. The rocket ships and cartoon planets on the wall feel a little juvenile for the years his son has been alive. Buck would probably help if they asked. No, he definitely would, there’s no doubt in Eddie’s mind. But that doesn't matter right now. They’re not going to redo anything tonight. Because for the first time in ages, Chris – who's 11-and-a-half by now, the and-a-half only as of last Tuesday – and starting to refuse even a high five when Eddie drops him off at school - practically begged him not to leave when he popped his head in.  

Chris was meant to be asleep, but he'd been staring at the door like he was waiting for Eddie. These moments are starting to become few and far between; every day it’s like his son needs him less and less. Objectively, Eddie knows that’s a good thing, that it means he's succeeded as a parent and raised a kid who’ll grow up to be independent. But sometimes it’s hard to let go of how things used to be.  

So who is he to turn it down when Chris asks him to stay, voice thick with unshed tears?

He's old enough to watch the news now, even if he doesn’t understand all of it. Eddie figures he probably saw the 118 at the structure fire tonight, right before the house came down almost on top of them. That would explain why he's so attached right now, why he’d pushed for an extra half-hour watching TV before bed. He’d even been willing to watch MASH, and tried to promise that he wouldn’t interrupt or ask any questions, but Eddie had held firm.  

Tomorrow’s spelling test waits for no man, and Chris has a bowl of ice cream riding on his ability to spell entertain in the morning. But an hour later, Chris still hadn’t fallen asleep, so Eddie had settled down next to him, on top of the covers, still in his jeans. He’s sure he still smells like smoke even though they’d all showered at the station; it usually takes an extra scrub to get the lingering odor to fade.

Eddie could probably shift down or up if he tried, but he'd risk waking Chris up, so instead he pulls him a little closer, arm wrapped around his shoulders and tucks his own chin into his chest as his eyes droop closed.  

He'll ache in the morning, in his joints and his heart, but it'll be worth the extra cup of coffee he'll drink on the way back to the station.  

Because his son will know that Eddie is there for him, always, whenever and however he needs him.

Even if it's squeezing onto the edge of a twin bed.

[flameleads]

@words-by-theo asked:

"If only his first fire was this tame or cute. He came home with his flame alchemy, and he demonstrated it to me by burning toast. Vanessa still calls him the Burnt Toast Alchemist."

[shh-im-fangirling]

"When you know you matter"

Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV)

Rating: G

Warnings: none

Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)

Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Ravi Pannikar, Hen Wilson, Bobby Nash

Summary: Buck is partnered with Ravi. During a call, something goes wrong and Buck gets angry with him because he put thier lives in danger.

It is a split second. The beam seems to fall in slow motion, and Buck can see his life run in front of his eyes. He sees his parents and their judgmental looks, Maddie and her way to try to cheer him up. His family at the 118: Bobby and his paternal way to scold him, the teasing of Hen and Chimney. And he sees Eddie and their bond, Chris and his smile and courage and strength.

Then he jumps away from the beam trajectory, but not fast enough: it hit him in the right hip. For a moment, he loses his breath, then Ravi's hands take him by the shoulders and help him stand up. There is guilt in the Probie's eyes, and Buck can only feel his heart in his ears and a growing anger. He instructs Ravi to find the exit and they go as fast as they can, walking through the fire and the smoke that is becoming stronger by the minute.

When they are outside, Buck takes off his mask and starts to cough. Ravi, by his side, seems terrified.

“Buck, I'm so sorry. I-I...it was a second and...” he stutters when they are outside, clearly aware of how much he risked.

He went back inside the house because he thought there was another person trapped, but another team already pulled everyone out and Ravi didn't hear it from the radio. The house was collapsing and Bobby already gave them the ultimatum to evacuate, but Ravi went inside and Buck had to follow.

Buck shakes his head, eyes shining with anger. “That second could have cost my life! You can't risk like this. I have a family to go back, I don't want Bobby to have to tell them I didn't make it out alive because you acted reckless!” he yells, pointing an accusatory finger to Ravi.

The young firefighter backs away, evidently scared. Eddie moves a step, ready to intervene, but Hen stops him.

“Okay, you two, we can solve this thing at the fire house. Now you both go to Hen and Eddie to let yourself check.” Bobby injects, tone that doesn't allow replicas.

Ravi nods and Hen guides him in the ambulance while Buck storms to Eddie avoiding Bobby.

“I'm fine.” it is the first thing he says to Eddie.

Eddie helps him unbutton his turnout gearand starts check his ribs. “Does it hurt here?” he asks, pushing a little in his abdomen.

Buck hisses a little. “I said I'm fine.”

“I am the medic here and I say if you are fine or not!” Eddie scolds him. “Now, you stay still, let me check and you answer me honestly when I ask something.” he adds, gently caressing his hip.

Their eyes meet and the only thing Buck can do in front of Eddie's order is to nod. Eddie analyse his ribs, where the beam hit him, then he checks his pulse and his reflexes. They don't talk apart from the questions Eddie asks him to see how much pain he feels. The final diagnosis is that he has no broken ribs, but his hip has already a big bruise. No head injury or breath problem.

“As soon as we arrive at the station, you change and go home.” Bobby instructs him after Eddie tells him his response.

“But, Cap, I still have two hours to do.” Buck protests.

“And we can survive two hours without you. You go home, put some ice on that bruise, rest and cool down. Otherwise, I will bench you for the next shift.” Bobby threatens him.

Buck looks at him incredulously, but doesn't dare protest any further. They all set in the truck after settle the scene. The ride is silent, but the tension can be felt in the air. Buck is staring outside, but his hand is settle in Eddie's and the other guy is stroking his thumb in his back to calm him down. Ravi doesn't dare to look anyone, tears in his eyes. Hen exchanges a look with Eddie and he nods “I'll get it” he mutters. Hen nods back, because she knows that if someone can fix that situation, that someone is Eddie.

When they arrive at the station, Buck runs in the showers. Eddie follows him while he sees Bobby guiding Ravi in his office.

He finds Buck sit in a bench, arms in his knees and head between them. It feels like he has a weight on his shoulders, a weight of stress and sorrow.

“Does your rib hurt?” he asks him.

Buck shakes his head. “No, luckily.” he pause, like he is trying to calm himself. “That was so stupid to do. We could have been dead. He didn't even think about the consequences, he just run inside and risked our lives.” he blurts out, anger strong in his voice.

“He reminds me of someone else.” Eddie gives him an accusatory but soft look. Buck looks at him.

“You know why I used to do it. And I would do it again if it means that the people I love won't be in any danger. But every time I consider the risks, I have never put myself in danger just because, I did it with a valid reason and I didn't involve anyone else.” he point out.

Eddie nods. He goes to sit next to him and starts stroking his back. “Yeah, I know why you did it and I know you always tried to do it safely, but maybe the Probie thought the same. Or maybe he doesn't know how to consider the situation.” Eddie pauses, trying to smooth Buck's anger. “Maybe he just needs guidance.”

Buck sighs deeply, closing his eyes and considering Eddie's words.

“Listen, go and take a shower so you cool off. I wait here so I can put some cream in that bruise.” Eddie says, smiling softly at him.

Buck nods and stands, taking a towel from the locker and going to the shower. He undresses, hands still shaking from the adrenaline. Imagines from the accident burning as he closes his eyes: that was a close call. He has had plenty of close calls in the past, more that any other person can bear, but this time the feeling was different. He wasn't sacrificing himself for the good of the people he loves, he didn't know the risks because he didn't choose to save the day. He was lost and he was terrified.

When he goes back to the locker room, Eddie is there as he said. Buck sits beside him and shows him his right side.

Eddie's fingers analyse the bruise with gentleness. “I think we can put some ice so it can start to swallow faster.” he says, and then opens the lid of the cream and starts to apply it on the bruise.

For a moment, there is only silence. Buck looks as Eddie puts the cream gently and feels the warmth of his fingertips. A lot of thoughts go in his head.

“I'm sorry. I didn't want to do it, but I had to do it for Ravi. I'm so sorry.” he says, voice cracked with pain. “The only thing I could think was that I was leaving you and Chris. That I couldn't have been able to be by your side and see him grow. It was terrible.” Buck whispers, while Eddie gently caresses him.

He has never felt something so big in his whole life: the pain to leave someone who loves you with every inch of their body. He has never felt that love for anybody, and he knows that anybody never felt it for him. With Eddie and Chris he knows he has something to lose and someone who would mourn him. He knows he can't do reckless stuff like he used to do because now he has a family waiting for him. It has been a long process, but now Buck know that he his loved and he matters.

Eddie puts a finger under his chin and smiles at him. “I'm glad you finally see how much you matter. I'm proud of you.”

He brushes his cheek and Buck leans on the touch. He feels so intimate yet so natural. Like Eddie is meant to calm Buck as Buck is meant to calm Eddie. Like they balance each other and rely on each other like perfect partners. That's why, for Buck, it feels so wrong to work with Ravi and not with Eddie.

“I miss working with you.” he whispers, sighing.

Eddie smiles. “Yeah, so do I.” he pauses. “But now you are working with Ravi and he needs all the help you can give him. He did what he did because he is a good firefighter, and you did what you did because you are a good firefighter too. You need to guide him to avoid those risks; you have to let him know when is worth it and when is not. So you can both go back home at the end of every shift.”

Buck shrugs. “I think yelling at him is not the best way to guide him, is it?”

“No, I don't think so.” Eddie chuckles.

Buck sighs again to recompose himself. “I have to apologise to him.”

Eddie nods. “And then you go home. There's Carla but I'm sure Chris will be thrilled to see you. And when I come back in two hours we can have dinner together and watch a movie.”

Buck smiles brightly and nods. “Deal.”

Eddie squeezes his shoulder one last time and then let him stand up and go to find Ravi.

The Probie is in the loft eating something while Bobby supervise him like he obligated him to eat.

As soon as sees Buck, he stands up. “Buck, I am really sorry-”

“No, I am sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you.” Buck stops him. “I should have explained the risks to you and let you understand why going back this time could have been a sentence for us and not a rescue. I have to help you grow and consider the chances and this time I failed. I hope to do better next time.” he finishes, offering a hand to Ravi.

The younger firefighters takes the hand and smiles at him. “You are a great mentor and I'm really honoured to work with you.”

Buck feels his cheeks flush. “We-we will work great together.” he says.

Ravi nods and then he goes back at the kitchen counter to eat. Buck looks at Bobby, he nods at him and smile proudly. Then he goes to sit in one of the couches where Eddie is waiting for him with a cloth with ice in his hand.

“Put some ice before you leave.” he says, gently.

Hen, sits on the other couch, looks first Eddie and then Buck and she shakes her head. “Look at you, Buckaroo, wise and confident. If someone had told I would see it happen I would have laugh at them.” she teases. “And now you are here grown up and responsible, with an husband and a son. Wow, I'm impressed.”

“Shut up, Hen.” Buck strikes back, throwing a pillow at her.

He looks at Eddie, both aware of Hen's comment, but he doesn't feel like it is totally a lie. Eddie smile at him like he is okay with it, and Buck knows that they will have to talk about their relationship.

But not now. Now they laugh with Hen, Bobby and Ravi. And they are a team ready to save lives. They are a family, with ups and downs, but they always love and support each other.

[daggerzine]

MY FAVORITE RECORDS OF 2021!

MY 20 FAVORITE RECORDS OF 2021

Ducks Ltd- Modern Fiction (Carpark)

Chime School- S/T (Slumberland)

Monnone Alone- Stay Foggy (Emotional Response)

The Chills- Scatterbrain (Fire)

Lucy Dacus- Home Video (Matador)

The Reds, Pinks & Purples- Uncommon Weather (Slumberland)

Civic- Future Forecast  (Flightless)

Florry- Big Fall (12XU)

Rachel Love- Picture in Mind (self released)

The Umbrellas- S/T (Slumberland)

Swansea Sound- Live from the Rum Puncheon (HHBTM)

Shoestrings- Expectations (Shelflife)

Dummy- Mandatory Enjoyment (Trouble in Mind)

The Catenary Wires- Birling Gap (Shelflife)

The Exbats- Now Where Were We (Goner)

Lou Barlow- Reason To Live (Joyful Noise)

Smoke Bellow- Open for Business (Trouble in Mind)

Massage- Still Life (Mt St. Mtn)

Divine Horsemen- Hot Rise of an Ice Cream Phoenix (In the Red)

Quivers- Golden Doubt (Ba Da Bing)

WAIT HERE’S 20 MORE (21-40)

Flowertown- Time Trials (Paisley Shirt)

Chris Brokaw- Puritan (12XU)

The Armoires- Incognito (Big Stir)

The Legal Matters- Chapter Three (Futureman)

Soursob- S/T (Hozac)

The Suncharms- Distant Lights (Sunday Records)

The Boys with the Perpetual Nervousness- Songs From Another Life (Bobo Integral)

John Sharkey III- Shoot Out The Camera (12XU)

Karen Peris- A Song Is Way Above the Lawn  (Bella Union)

Grand Drifter- Only Child (Subjangle)

Wavves- Hideaway (Fat Possum)

Boyracer- Assauged (Emotional Response)

The Black Watch- Here & There (Atom Records)

The Scientists- Negativity (In the Red)

Astral Brain- The Bewildered Mind (Shelflife)

Torres- Thirstier (Merge)

Painted Shrines- Heaven and Holy (Woodsist)

Sorrows- Love Too Late…the real album (Big Stir)

Beach Youth- Postcard (Shelflife)

Chubby & the Gang- The Mutt’s Nuts (PTFK)

  WAIT….HERE’S 25 MORE (41-65)

The Telephone Numbers- The Ballad of Doug (Meritorio)

Naked Raygun- Over the Overlords (Wax Trax)

Kevin Robertson- Sundown’s End (Futureman)

Goon Sax- Mirror II (Matador)

Dolph Chaney- This is Dolph Chaney (Big Stir)

The Brothers Steve- - Dose (Big Stir)

Guardian Singles- S/T (Trouble in Mind)

Matthew Sweet- Catspaw (Omnivore)

The Orange Peels- Celebrate the Moments Of Your Life (Minty Fresh) 

Mythical Motors- A Rare Look Ahead (self released)

The Swindon Lot- The Scariana Trench (Braxeling)

Corvair- S/T (Paper Walls/ WIAIWYA)

Kiwi Jr- Cooler Returns (Sub Pop)

Dinosaur Jr- Sweep it into Space (Jagjaguwar)

The Reflectors- Faster Action (Time for Action Records)

Eleventh Dream Day- Since Grazed (Thrill Jockey)

Damon & Naomi with Kurihara – A Sky Record (self released)

Scott Gagner- Bloodmoon (1977)

The Spires- Era Was (Artificial Light)

Ward White- The Tender Age (VF 14 Records)

The Gerunds- Hitsville, PA  (Uranium Rush)

David Christian & the Pinecone Orchestra- For Those We Met On the Way (Tapete)

Motorists- Surrounded (Bobo Integral) 

The Bevis Frond- Little Eden (Fire)

Teenage Fanclub- Endless Arcade (Merge)

  MY 10 FAVORITE COLLECTIONS

The Jazz Butcher- Dr Cholmondley Repents…  (Fire Records)

Tar- Tar Box (Chunklet)

The Dents- 1979-’80 Cincinnati (Hozac)

Monkey 101- Rust, Smuts and Heart Rot (Sister Raygun)

True West- Kaleidoscope of Shadows: The Story So Far  (Bring Out the Dead)

Trini Lopez- The Rare Reprise Singles (Omnivore)

The Palace Guard- All Night Long: An Anthology 1965-1967 (Omnivore)

Tangled Shoelaces Turn My Dial - The M Squared Recordings and more, 1981​-​84 (Chapter Music)

Linda Smith- Till Another Time: 1988-1996  (Captured Tracks)

Well Wishers- Spare Parts (self released)

  MY 10 FAVORITE REISSUES

Versus- Let’s Electrify! (Teenbeat)

Come- Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (Fire)

The Saints- The Most Primitive Band in the World (Radiation)

The Clean- Boodle, Boodle Boodle  and Tally Ho 7’ (both on Merge)

Lilys-  A Brief History of Amazing Letdowns (Frontier Records)

The Gun Club- Fire of Love and Miami (Blixa Sounds)

Adam Roth and his and of Men- Down the Shore, Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (Hozac)

Oh OK- The Complete Reissue (HHBTM)

Richard Hell & the Voidoids- Destiny Street (Omnivore)

Colin Blunstone- One Year (Sundazed)

 MY 10 FAVORITE EPs/singles

Ducks Ltd- Get Bleak (Carpark)

Tapes Waves- Bright (Emotional Response)

Jetstream Pony- Misplaced Words (Shelflife)

Massage- Lane Lines (Mt St Mtn)

Papercuts-Baxter’s Bliss (self released)

The Persian Leaps- Drone Etiquette (Land Ski records)

The Black Watch- The White EP (Atom)

The Resonars- “Gold to Blue” (Hypnotic Bridge)

Savak-  “Dealers” (digital single)

I Was a King- Twilight Anniversaries (self released)

[tripleaxeldiaz]

his name on your heart

for @florenceandthemachine <3

read on ao3

Smoke is still lingering in the air as they disconnect the hoses from the hydrants and wrap them up. It wasn’t a huge fire — faulty electrical wiring in a duplex — but the wind made it harder and harder to put it. Luckily, nothing had spread to surrounding houses or trees, and both families were safe and accounted for, including a corgi that had wiggled under the toilet in the burning bathroom. The team was dirty and exhausted but unscathed, too — except Buck, who could feel the lump on his head getting bigger by the minute. 

He’s inclined to blame this injury on the dog. He wouldn’t have hit his head on the toilet tank if it had been cooperating.

“Think you’ll make it?” Eddie asks, checking him over while Hen and Chim finish up with the residents. 

“I think I’m gonna have a headache for the next two days because of a dog that got itself free without my help,” Buck mumbles darkly. Eddie rolls his eyes and laughs quietly, offering Buck an ice pack that he accepts with a pout.

“Can’t wait to hear about it every 15 minutes,” Eddie says. Buck very maturely sticks his tongue out at him in response. They sit in comfortable silence as Eddie puts the supplies away and Buck takes in his surroundings. He’s about to ask what they should do for dinner tonight when a small voice carries across the lot.

“Mr. Diaz! Mr. Diaz!”

Buck looks and sees one of the kids — Molly, he thinks — waving frantically in their direction before hurrying over to them, her corgi held tightly to her little body. He nudges Eddie and nods towards the little girl. “I think you have an admirer.”

Eddie scrunches his eyebrows in confusion, turning just as Molly reaches them. She’s out of breath, what with running half a block and keeping a wiggling dog from escaping her grasp, but she shoots Buck a sunny smile with missing front teeth when she stops in front of him.

“Mr. Diaz! Thank you so much for saving Scooter, he was so scared! But you got him out like a real superhero so thank you! Can I name my next pet after you? I wanna get a goldfish when we get our new house, and I wanna name him Diaz!”

Buck can’t help but smile at this girl’s boundless optimism despite her house literally burning down in front of her. He hops off the back of the ambulance, kneeling down so they’re eye to eye. “I’m always happy to help, sweetheart, but my name’s not—”

But he stops, because it hits him like a freight train — he is Mr. Diaz now.

By the time they were engaged, and probably long before, being a Buckley had stopped meaning much to Buck. He hadn’t talked to his parents in longer than he could remember — he’d left them a voicemail when he moved to LA and never heard back — and Maddie hadn’t been a Buckley in years, never legally changing her name back between Kendall and Han. He was on his own little Buckley island as far as he was concerned, and it was a pretty lonely existence.

Until Eddie. And Chris. These Diaz boys who became his family, his everything, made him feel accepted and loved in a way he couldn’t remember ever feeling, made him think about writing “Evan Diaz” surrounded by hearts like he was in middle school because nothing had felt more right to him. He wanted matching turnout coats with their matching names for this life they were building for themselves, together. 

So the change hadn’t really been a question — not for Buck, at least. For Eddie, it was a question that needed to be asked about 65 times despite the answer never changing.

“Are you sure?” he had asked when Buck first brought it up at the beginning of their wedding planning.

“We can always hyphenate, I’m happy to take your name too,” he said as Buck filled out the forms for new work gear.

“Seriously, if this isn’t what you want, let me know,” he said as they walked up the steps to the court clerk’s office, paperwork in hand.

“Eddie!” Buck said, whirling around at the top step, placing both hands on Eddie’s shoulders where he stopped just below him. “This is exactly what I want. I want you, me, and Chris to be a family in every single way we can be, including our last name.”

Eddie just stared at him like he’d offered to buy him every star in the sky, and kissed him long and slow until he could barely remember any of his names.

He’d been called his new name quite a bit since then — when they were pronounced husbands, by their friends and family at the reception, all the people at the hotel in Maui — and it felt good and right, but it felt like pretend. Like any minute someone would break the spell and call him Mr. Buckley, and he’d be right back on that island he’d finally managed to escape.

But here — on their first week back from their honeymoon, the whole wedding still feeling like an elaborate dream — a stranger had called him Mr. Diaz because that’s the only thing he’s ever been or ever will be to her. For the rest of his life, that’s who he’ll be to everyone.

He tries to make his voice work, but it’s sticking behind the lump in his throat.

He watches Molly lean over to Eddie and whisper, “Is he okay?”

Eddie laughs, but his eyes are impossibly soft, like he knows exactly what’s happened to Buck, just like he always does. “He’ll be alright. And I’m sure he’d be more than happy to let you name your fish after him.”

She flashes another smile as her mom calls her name, waving at them as she skips away. Eddie watches her go, turning to Buck and manhandling him until he’s sitting on the floor of the ambulance again. He looks around before standing in the space between Buck’s legs, hands resting gently on his shoulders.

Buck breathes in sharply, snapping back to reality. He looks up at Eddie, who’s still looking at him all soft and sweet, and he feels his eyes well up of their own accord.

“I’m a Diaz,” he says, quiet and breathless, and he’s sure he’d float away if Eddie wasn’t holding on to him, grounding him.

“That’s what it says on your driver’s license,” Eddie says, thumbs stroking the skin at the base of his neck.

“Mr. Diaz. Evan Diaz.” He’s said it before, written it and heard it, but it finally, finally, feels real. Eddie smiles at that, and it’s dazzling, and Buck can’t help but lean up for a kiss. It’s quick — they are still on the job, after all — but then Eddie pulls him in for something deeper, and he’s really never been able to deny him anything.

They jump apart at the sounds of the truck’s horn.

“Diazes!” Chim shouts. “If you’re not on this truck in 10 seconds you’re walking back to the station!”

They’re halfway there before Buck pulls up short, grabbing Eddie’s hand and squeezing for his attention. There’s tears in his eyes again, he can feel them. He’s not sure when he’ll ever stop tearing up. He doesn’t think he actually wants to, doesn’t want this novelty to ever wear off.

Eddie looks back at him, confused.

“Diazes” is all Buck says.

Eddie laughs, and Buck is flying.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

The Killing Cure (Part 14)

It has been quite some time since Alcina has visited house Beneviento. And the unforgiving weather reminds her of exactly why that is. The wind whistles against her ears and the snow seems to freeze to her locks upon contact. She is thankful that she had let Winters convince her to swap her usual hat for something significantly warmer, something that the howling winds have trouble lifting off of her head. Even still, the journey isn’t nearly fast enough for her. Infinite layers couldn’t protect her from a cold this sharp.

And Winters, true to his name, doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest. His gaze is as sharp as the chill and it is fixed dead ahead. Dead ahead as though no lycan in the world could slow the man down. She supposes that only a father’s love and protective nature can induce such a state of unperturbed determination.

Alcina doesn’t quite have that and so she suffers every whisper of the wind. The snow that has already fallen is just as irksome and relentless as the flakes that dance in the air. It in itself is another brutal reminder of what she has lost. What would have been only up to her ankles before is now calf deep and she finds herself growing breathless trying to trudge through it. She isn’t sure for how long they have been traveling but it is long enough--more than long enough, really, to put a dull ache in her calves and thighs. She wishes that she hadn’t become so small. She wishes that she would have bothered to drop by Donna more often.

Ethan marches ahead. Boldly, confidently. As though he has made this trekk each day since his conception. She doesn’t think that he has noticed just how much distance he has put between the two of them and she can’t bring herself to call out.

She quickens her pace but the harder she pushes through it, the more resistance it seems to have until she is stumbling, nearly tripping. She knows that she is going to have to call for Ethan to slow down. And how embarrassing it is to have fallen behind already, so soon into their journey. He said that he could benefit from her presence but it is becoming glaringly obvious that she is just a hindrance--a thing that will slow him down.

She opens her mouth to call out when Ethan turns casts a look over his shoulders. Between the distance and the snowfall, she can’t discern the look on his face. But she can hear the crunch of the snow as he brings his purposeful strides to a halt. He stands waiting for her to pick up her dignity and catch up. She doesn’t quite manage the prior but, much slower than she would like, accomplishes the latter.

“Let me know if I’m going too fast next time.” He chuckles. “I think that it’ll be less dangerous if we stay together.”

“I can handle a couple of lycans.” She grumbles, though she doesn’t think that she truly can anymore. She is no good with the guns he has given her either.

Several more times, Ethan has to slow his pace for her. By the fourth time her cheeks are flushed with not cold and a potent feeling of humiliation and uselessness. “Sorry…” she mutters.

“For what?” Ethan quirks a brow.

“You’d be halfway to House Beneviento if I weren’t here.”

“I’m not that fast.” Ethan shrugs.

“Well you aren’t this slow either.” She huffs.

“You’re really hard on yourself, you know that right?”

“Walking is a simple task…”

“Maybe when the snow doesn’t reach your calves.” He shrugs. “I’m just glad that the medicines are keeping your porphyria in check.”

“For now.” She gives an indignant sniff.

.oOo.

Every now and then he glances back at Lady Dimitrescu. All things considered, she seems to be holding up well enough despite her own words. Frankly he is silently glad that he has to slow down for her, he was growing tired himself. Determination and willpower can only get him so far. It is probably best to conserve his energy for nastier battles anyhow.

He rubs his hands over his face if only to warm his cheeks which are growing rosier and rosier with each second he remains in the cold. Rosier… Rose… His stomach grows queasy. He wonders if Mother Miranda is keeping her out in the cold. Wonders if she is ignoring her cries.

He pictures his poor girl with a film of ice on her little body. Pictures her with glassy, dead eyes. Visions of a rescue made much too late flash in his mind. They dance like a flickering film reel alongside recreations of Mia getting loaded with bullets. And for it he resents Chris with all of his soul.

His mind wanders further. Wanders to darker places. Places where he loads up every gun in this damn village and unloads each into the man…

The gunshot echos through the mountains and it takes him a moment to realize that the shot has not come from his mind. His stomach drops and so does the body of a lycan just a few feet behind and off to the side of him. Alcina��s arm is still extended, the gun still smokes.

The lycan pulls itself up and snarls, its attention now on the woman. It charges, fangs bore. Alcina fires another shot, this one only grazes its arm. He sees the blood weeping out of its shoulder from the first hit. The lycan lunges and Alcina throws herself to the side. He fires his own shot, spattering brain matter upon the snow. The lycan topples, its body falls upon  Alcina’s legs. She heaves it off of her with a grunt and a hateful expression. It is almost comical, it would be if he had time to laugh.

Instead he helps her to her feet. He might have cracked a joke if she didn’t look so thoroughly uncomfortable and distraught. It occurs to him that the snow must have worked its way down her pants or, at the very least, has soaked through them.

“See, it is a good thing that you came along.” He tries, “I would have been taken by surprise. That’s how they win...”

Alcina nods and clears her throat, “it wasn’t any trouble, Winters.”

He is certain that, that much is a lie--she is shivering twice as hard as before. And yet she seems somehow reinvigorated. Validation, he realizes. He has given her validation. And, God, does the woman seem to crave it.

Her steps are much more confident now; maybe she is getting a feeling for walking in it, maybe she is propelled by the reminder of her usefulness, it might be as simple as a new found desperation to get to House Beneviento for a pair of dry pants. Whatever it is, he finds that she is keeping pace with him much better now.

“We’re getting close.” She notes.

“How do you know?” It is a stupid question. Of course she knows where she is going.

She points up and he jolts upon coming face to face with what must be the most hideous doll he has ever seen in his life.

“Trust me...” Alcina quirks a brow. For the first time since the journey has begun she looks faintly amused. “They only get uglier.”

[winterscaptain]

breath.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: for those of you who saw my cheeky little post about this, its true. the end of this prompted an entire offshoot that turned into transfer request that turned into, well....a whole multipart series. as always, let me know if i spaced on any pronouns or anything too gendered. i hope you like this one!  words: its less than a thousand, i think? warnings: canon-typical dead bodies

AO3 | Masterlist | Transfer Request Masterlist | Requests Closed!

+++

The explosion knocked the wind out of you, even from back behind the barricade. The icy fingers of shock radiating down your spine and into your gut rooted you to the spot, the panic locking up your breath. It was so hard to breathe. 

Why was it so hard to breathe?

All the communication was blown, and there was nothing but static in your ears. You ripped out your earpiece, adrenaline kicking in to push you forward. Your head swiveled toward JJ, who still had a hand over her mouth.

Aaron. Emily. Spencer.

Protocol be damned, you double checked the snowing video feed and made a break for it, sprinting toward the blast site. You always knew it was a possibility - losing someone on the team. Every day was dangerous.

But not him. 

Never him.

Your voice was raw from shouting something that sounded like “Aaron.” You didn’t realize you were crying until a pair of strong arms stopped you and wrapped around you as you fought against them.

“Hold on, kid. Hold on.”

Derek’s voice in your ear subdued you, and you dropped your full weight into him, letting him catch you before you hit the ground. He turned you around by the shoulders and pulled your head into his shoulder, a hand tight to the back of your head. He was breathing heavily too – you could feel it beneath his vest.

You had no idea how long you stood there before you heard, “Site’s clear!”

As bomb squad retreated, you Morgan’s hold on you loosened. You raised your head from his shoulder, looking toward the former compound. The building was a smoking, smoldering heap.

No way anyone could survive that.

No. Stop. 

“Do you think…” You couldn’t finish the thought. The very idea was inconceivable.

“We won’t know until we look.” He caught your eyes, holding your gaze for a moment. “You ready?”

You nodded.

JJ followed close behind you as Derek forged ahead, gun drawn, just in case. You cleared what was once the front of the building, stepping around the ruins with care. There was one wall still intact.

Oh, God. 

There were bodies everywhere - some so burned they were nothing but bones, others with identifiable body parts in places they definitely should not be. 

You wondered if you would be able to identify Aaron’s -

No. Stop. 

Your breath caught in a sob again. You swallowed the bile rising in the back of your throat. You forged ahead, carefully stepping over remains as you cleared the rest of of the main building. Two more structures were in various states of destruction - ones you understood to be the school and the men’s housing. 

You were halfway there, when - 

“Hold your fire!”

You nearly collapsed on the spot. Aaron.

“We’re here, all clear!” Derek shouted back, holstering his weapon.

Breaking out into a dead sprint you weaved and dodged debris and threw yourself at him. Aaron caught you easily, and your lips met out of pure instinct and panic. He tasted like dust and smoke and ash and coffee. You let out a half-hysterical laugh before you burrowed your head into his shoulder. His breath in your hair and hand on your back was the only thing holding you to the ground.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you heard JJ and Derek reach Spencer and Emily, checking them over for injuries and trying to figure out what the hell happened.

“I thought I lost you.” Your voice sounded raw and broken even to your own ears.

He pressed a fervent kiss to your temple, breathing you in. “You can’t get rid of me that easy, sweetheart.”

You pulled back after a moment and checked him over. Your hands fluttered around his face, shoulders, and vest before landing flat-palmed against his chest. He was covered in fine, pale dust, but looked otherwise unharmed. He looked down at you, his dark eyes pensive.

“We have to rethink this.”

A different kind of ice curled through your chest. “What?”

He shook his head, realizing he didn’t contextualize properly. 

That happens when you’re almost blown up, I guess. 

Aaron brushed a section of hair behind your ear. “No, no, I mean you and I staying on the same team.”

You heaved a sigh of relief and fell back into him. It seemed completely inappropriate to laugh, but the overwhelming waves of relief and the lingering blows of fear made it hard to regulate your emotional response. “Yeah. Might have to rethink that.” You paused for a moment. “I’ll put in a transfer request first thing tomorrow. Strauss will be thrilled.”

A laugh rumbled in his chest. “You’re right about that.”

The two of you pulled apart, and you looked toward your team. They all looked fondly in your direction. “Hear that team?” You said, glancing back at Aaron, who had a noticeable smile on his face. “I quit!”

They laughed and Emily yanked you forward by the hand, shoving you between her and JJ as you walked back to the cars.

The next week found you on the white-collar crime task force, where you could spend lunch on the 6th floor with your family and still leave early enough to get Jack from school. The new ring on your left hand wasn’t a bad consolation prize, either.

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @hurricanejjareau @fics-ilike @octothorpetopus @ange-must-die @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @saintd0lce @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @gublergirls

[innocent-chris-evans-slut]

Bi(e)tter Life - Part One

My Masterlist ✨

Requests are open.

Bitter Life - Chapter One 

Steve Rogers x enhanced!Reader 

Word Count: 1,5k

Type: 

Summary: Steve Rogers is determined to take down all the HYDRA agents still operating. Among them, he knows there is his childhood best friend, Bucky, but he still doesn’t know he isn’t the only person from his past coming back to life. 

Warning(s): mention of war, blood

Intro

Has anyone ever asked himself what made Steve Rogers so bitter towards life, up to the point that, after being brought back from the ice, he never allowed himself to get involved with someone?

During the war he had lost everyone he truly cared about: his best friend, his girl, and someone he didn’t know he would miss that much also seventy years later.

After the battle with Ultron, almost everything came back to normality. Tony Stark went back to take care of the Stark Industries with Pepper, leaving the Avengers Compound to Steve, Natasha and the recruits -which had been already labeled as the ‘New Avengers’.

Although she didn’t want anybody to know it, especially Steve, Natasha had been searching the remaining agents working for HYDRA. She had been able to put down two bases alone and kill those who were trying to escape. Though she came across some documents which Steve would have read.

That’s why that morning she woke up early and, after a one-hour-long work out, she went straight to the Captain’s office with the papers in her hands.

“Good morning, Steve.”

“’Morning, Natasha”, he didn’t bother to raise his eyes from the computer screen, “Do you need my help?”

The red-haired girl sat down in front of him and handed him the papers she was taking with her, “You should have a look”. Natasha stayed there in silence as Steve read all the information about new HYDRA’s targets.

He wasn’t surprised to find a lot of names belonging to ex SHIELD agents. What hurt him was to read Bucky’s name and acknowledge how dangerous he was.

“Why is this name blanked?”

Steve was referring to a hidden name, though a description wasn’t missing: potentially dangerous, enhanced individual, can control elemental elements.

“Do we know anything else about them?” everything else wasn’t important anymore to the Captain. His attention was completely on finding the targets -in particular the ‘enhanced individual’.

1945, August 5th

“Richard, do you copy? Richard!”

You were desperately trying to call your friend through the walkie-talkie you had stolen from the men you were escaping from, but he didn’t answer to you.

You tried another couple of times to call his name, but he never answered. You were starting to get worried and for a moment you thought about going back inside and rescuing him, then you heard a bang coming from the small object next to you and you jumped, scared.

“Richard!” you called again, but nothing came from the other end of the receptacle. You made your mind, and you were about to head back inside, when someone called your name.

“We know where to find you, Agent 749. We’re coming for you.”

You hang up, threw the receiver among the trees in the forest and began to run away from the cave you’d found refuge. You didn’t forget to ‘clean’ the place and redirect their researches towards the opposite direction you were headed.

You had been running for hours, probably days, when you stopped somewhere in the forest, near to a river. Though you were hidden in the woods, you could clearly hear noises characteristic of a city. From the map in your hands, you could state you were near to Hiroshima. The sun was setting, so you decided to stop where the woods were thicker -where hopefully no one would have found you.

You placed your backpack on the grass and started building the tent in which you were supposed to sleep that night. Once you were done, you set your sleeping bag on the ground and sat on it, after having closed the door of the tent.

You looked down at your legs and you noticed you were bleeding. Very much. You picked up your first aid kit and disinfected the wound, then you stitched it. Once you were done, you put everything away and focused on your ‘dinner’: a can of tuna and an apple gathered from a tree. While eating, you kept staring at your backpack -placed next to the entrance of the tent- and at all the pins on it.

When you were a child, you liked collecting pins with your friends. You would find them on the floor, in pubs where, probably, former soldiers had left them, and, your favorite place, in the park. You used to spend the entire day in the park with your best friends, having picnics, playing with the ball, and doing a lot of stupid things.

The States. Your homeland and where you wished you could go back instantly. You missed your family, your house, your friends -and they missed you too-, but going back home would have costed your life, and probably theirs, too.

You remembered clearly the night you escaped from the prison you were caged in, and almost immediately you understood you couldn’t ever go back to Brooklyn, without the people you were running from knowing you were back. You had also tried to send your family some letters to let them know you were alive and, though your situation wasn’t pleasant, you really wanted them to think that you were okay -and not dead-, but probably they never got them, because you’d never got an answer from them.

With that thought in your mind, you closed your eyes and, even though your spot wasn’t comfortable at all, you fell asleep almost immediately, hoping that the next day would take away all your problems.

It was early in the morning when you got woken up by people screaming. What did you get up all of a sudden was that the screams were too close to you and, checking on the map, you stated that you were far away from the city center.

You got up and made your way out of your tent. When you arrived there the night before, that place was green, full of trees, animals and now that you were looking at it, there was nothing.

The trees were burning. The grass was on fire. The animals were suffocating due to the dense smoke coming from the burning woods. You weren’t doing better; as you tried to breathe in, you coughed really bad and the more you tried it, the more your lungs hurt, and your throat burned. After a minute being exposed to those gases you found it hard to breathe and you fell on your knees. You tried to scream for help at the top of your lungs, but no one could help you.

Then, all of a sudden, you heard an explosion, and everything went black.

You passed out.

Years before

“Guys, I’ve taken my decision. The doctor will better me and you’ll see the results.”

“Steve, why do you wanna do this? You’re perfect the way you are. Bucky and I love you like this”, you tried to convince him, but you knew better than anyone else that no one could have changed his mind -because you were just like him, “Just think about it a little more”.

“I’ve already made my mind, Cherry”, the thin, blonde guy hugged you and placed a kiss on your forehead, “Will you come with me?”

You blinked a couple of times before actually answering his question: of course, you would have loved to go with him. Though you thought you would have needed some kind of support from your other best friend, Bucky, but he was in Europe, fighting the Nazis.

“I will fight in Europe. I will kick Hitler’s ass myself”, Steve sat down on a bench and ‘forced’ you to do the same, “Once the war will be over, and the U.S. will have won, I’ll come back together with Bucky and we will be together again”.

The day after you woke up really early in order to be next to your best friend. He repeatedly told you that you would have been reserved a special seat among representatives from all countries.

That morning Ms. Peggy Carter came to pick you up from your homes and, after having explained you what was going to happen to your friend, tried to get you at ease. Once you arrived, you were left alone while Ms. Carter prepared Steve for the procedure together with the doctor and another man, you recognized being Mr. Stark -the brightest mind around the world.

A guard took you upstairs, from where you could have a better view. You were told to sit down between two men and they smiled at you as you entered from the door. When everybody was ready to begin, the German doctor filled Steve with penicillin and then gave him the serum.

Everything happened in less than five minutes; a more solid, tall and muscular version on your childhood friend Steve came out of the pod, then you heard a bang and, afraid of what could happen, you passed out.

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