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dootznbootz · 11 months

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Odysseus was afraid the entire year on Aeaea in the Odyssey.

Content warnings: Rape, Sexual Coercion, Sexual assault, Sex Work, power dynamics, this will also be long as fuck as I talk too much. This is NOT a "Circe the Goddess Hate Post". I call her out but that's it. I tried to keep this neutral but still making a point (Let me know if I gotta put more)

Lots of lovely folks on here have written great essays on what Calypso did to Odysseus as it's soooo blatantly obvious there. It literally states how he cried every day and how he flinched from Calypso, very straightforward on how he was explicitly raped.

But I've noticed that a lot of people are always iffy about Circe's situation (understandably so, it's not so in your face.) She's usually always mentioned in the "Odysseus never cheated! He was raped!" posts but then the evidence is only ever given against Calypso, and then mentioning how you can't say no or disobey the orders of an immortal and how it was in exchange for freeing his men.

WHICH IS ALL CORRECT!!! But!!!

There ARE immortal/mortal couples who genuinely love each other. Dionysus and Ariadne, and Eros and Psyche are examples. Apollo and Hyacinthus. Psyche indeed becomes immortal eventually and in some versions, both Hyacinthus and Ariadne do too. But even while mortal themselves, their immortal lovers still remained respectful and loving towards them and definitely doted on them. There are definitely power dynamics at play here but there's some nuance.

Odysseus and Circe's relationship, however, is very different. We all know he slept with her at the very least once. And that was in exchange for his men being returned to humans. That was the only time it was explicitly stated. With Calypso, it tells you every night he was enchanted and slept beside her. It was the narrator speaking but Odysseus is the narrator now and it's his story. If you think he lied, this probably won't change your mind anyway.

But even if it was a one-time thing, (which isn't the only interpretation and I will have points that talk about others) then why did he stay a year? What was he doing?

I'm doing a deep dive into the year he spent on Aeaea based on evidence in Book 10 and then the beginning of Book 12. Step by step, and honestly I'm writing this for Tumblr, not as a thesis so I will be a bit more casual but still using sources. To me, it's very obvious that he was uncomfortable throughout the text simply based on the language that is used. But it's very subtle and not an outright statement of "He's been crying every day."

BTW, just so we're clear, this is not a "Circe is the root of all evil, etc." type of post.

This isn't meant to villainize her. She's an immortal being and in mythology that changes things. Everybody is morally gray. I genuinely think if we were to ask her feelings on it, she'd probably be like "Oh, yeah! Turned his men into pigs! Strange little man he was." I don't think she gave a flying fuck.

I just simply get pissed tf off when people think Odysseus was fine. It honestly disturbs me how often I'll go on other websites YouTube and see everyone call him a whore and a womanizer. It's sexism at its finest because 1.) "MaN AlwAyS wAnTs sEx" and 2.) women can't rape/coerce. THIS IS SIMPLY TO LOOK INTO HIS FEELINGS ABOUT IT.

This is also only for Homer's Odyssey, using different translations. If you want to discuss this, (I'd be happy to! Just be nice!) DON'T BRING UP ANY OTHER WORKS.

With all that out of the way, come yell with me 🤗

I've read multiple translations, as I know there's going to be bias depending on who's translating. And having done so, each one has basically the same situations described the same so that's nice for consistency. Also, there are some parts in the story that are vague and that we'll never have answers to.

Odysseus first simply sees the smoke from her chimney and then sends his men in, after drawing lots Eurylochus leads half of the men to check out the house. I mentioned here vaguely how the 2 immortals he sleeps with are both introduced while singing and weaving, which could be seen as an enchantment (which to me is most likely. They both possess magic and are goddesses). So I'm just gonna move past that. Just take a peek and come back or just know that enchantment was likely.

Next, I'll see people often joke on Tumblr about how

"Odysseus says that Polites is his best friend yet only mentions him once!"

I think Odysseus mentions his best friend, the one to jubilantly go in first, to show WHY he would go through with this. How much these comrades mean to him. That's his best friend, and there are approximately 20 others who are now pigs as well. Could you knowingly leave one of your best friends to live a life like that knowing you could've done something?

[...]Circe—and deep inside they heard her singing, lifting her spellbinding voice as she glided back and forth at her great immortal loom, her enchanting web a shimmering glory only goddesses can weave. Polites, captain of armies, took command, the closest, most devoted man I had: ‘Friends, there’s someone inside, plying a great loom, and how she sings—enthralling! The whole house is echoing to her song. Goddess or woman—let’s call out to her now!’ So he urged and the men called out and hailed her. She opened her gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting them all in, and in they went, all innocence.

(Fagles, Book 10)

In the Odyssey, it's never mentioned why she turns people into animals. I think they were turned into pigs because, throughout the Iliad and Odyssey, Odysseus is often associated with boars. His men are associated with him, therefore: 🐖 Piggy. From what we know, the lads were just eating her food. With how much Xenia and hospitality are a large part of the story, they probably thought they were safe. They were GUESTS. This is especially welcome after the Cyclops and the Laestrygonians. And it literally says "All innocence". They were simply naive.

Then Eurylochus runs back, so terrified that he couldn't speak at first. He then begs Odysseus to just leave the men behind. Odysseus has shown that he does TRY to save his men when it is truly not reckless to do so.

But I shot back, ‘Eurylochus, stay right here, eating, drinking, safe by the black ship. I must be off. Necessity drives me on.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Then the famous warning from Hermes. I've seen folks bring this up when talking about this. YES, he is literally commanded by Hermes to not refuse her if he wants his men back in basically every translation. It sounds like Circe was warned as well. When? We don't know, but it sounds like Hermes didn't pick "sides" here.

Strange that he was still like, "Sleep with each other" to both, because he could've been like, "Circe, there's this guy named Odysseus. When he comes to this island, change his men back." But who knows, maybe it was Circe's idea from the beginning and Hermes went along with it. Just food for thought.

Now here’s your plan of action, step by step. The moment Circe strikes with her long thin wand, you draw your sharp sword sheathed at your hip and rush her fast as if to run her through! She’ll cower in fear and coax you to her bed— but don’t refuse the goddess’ bed, not then, not if she’s to release your friends and treat you well yourself. But have her swear the binding oath of the blessed gods she’ll never plot some new intrigue to harm you, once you lie there naked— never unman you, strip away your courage!’

(Fagles, Book 10)

But that doesn't explain why he was there for a year afterward! Nor if he himself was okay with it, which is what I'm trying to delve into as he wasn't.

Also the knife thing? She's still immortal. It was meant to startle her. Her dad is Helios. Odysseus would've been toast, literally.

Also note this exchange wasn't a "Yippee! Hermes says I'm going to get laid!".

...just approaching the halls of Circe, my heart a heaving storm at every step, paused at her doors, the nymph with lovely braids— I stood and shouted to her there. She heard my voice, she opened the gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting me in, and in I went, all anguish now …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Another translation by Ian Johnston, (they all say the same thing essentially but trying to make a point.)

I continued on to Circe’s home. As I moved on, my heart was turning over many gloomy thoughts. After I had walked up to the gateway of fair-haired Circe’s house, I just stood there and gave a shout. The goddess heard my voice. She came out at once, opened her bright doors, and invited me inside. I entered, heart full of misgivings.

HE👏WAS👏SCARED! The tone is solemn and suspenseful. He was just told that without Hermes' help with the root, he wouldn't be able to survive and bring back his men. Circe was dangerous.

He made her swear not to harm him.

Straightaway she began to swear the oath that I required—never, she’d never do me harm—and when she’d finished, then, at last, I mounted Circe’s gorgeous bed …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Please note that she NEVER promised that to his men. His comrades did NOT have moli in their systems. He had no way of truly ensuring their safety in any way from Circe.

He then refuses to eat or speak, literally "lost in grim forebodings". If he "just got laid", then why isn't he happy? Not many men can say that a goddess CHOSE to have sex with them. He did it to get his men turned back. It was an exchange. I don't think Circe is "Evil" so maybe it slipped her mind. Or yes, she could've thought, "Hey, I got what I wanted. He's handsome enough. Homer never shuts up about how hot this guy is He hasn't brought up the pigs yet. I'll just let this play out. Maybe HE forgot. I don't have to do anything." We don't know. But Odysseus probably felt like he got deceived.

"Hey, I did my part of the deal. I slept with you. Now do yours."

She pressed me to eat. I had no taste for food. I just sat there, mind wandering, far away … lost in grim forebodings. As soon as Circe saw me, huddled, not touching my food, immersed in sorrow, she sidled near with a coaxing, winged word: ‘Odysseus, why just sit there, struck dumb, eating your heart out, not touching food or drink? Suspect me of still more treachery? Nothing to fear. Haven’t I just sworn my solemn, binding oath?’

So she asked, but I protested, ‘Circe— how could any man in his right mind endure the taste of food and drink before he’d freed his comrades-in-arms and looked them in the eyes? If you, you really want me to eat and drink, set them free, all my beloved comrades— let me feast my eyes.’ So I demanded.

(Fagles, Book 10)

He doesn't trust her despite what she had told him that he should when they sleep together. He has figured out that while she will not hurt him, his men were not a part of that oath, the men he was trying to protect in the first place.

She is then moved by how they rejoice when they see one another again. While turning people into animals for funsies isn't cool and coercion is fucked up, I think she comes to see this group as not quite friends but I think she did find them entertaining in a way.

This is very strange but I've seen some folks say that since Odysseus was pissed at Eurylochus for still not believing him about Circe is proof that "Oh he was trying to defend her!". Which??? Uh, Eurylochus was literally questioning his leadership as a whole. Calling him reckless and shit. He is captain and he's the King, he can't let that shit slide. The text literally says "Mutinous". Also if I had to sleep with someone I did not want to especially if it was to save my friends and I got called names afterward I'd get fucking pissed too.

Only Eurylochus tried to hold my shipmates back, his mutinous outburst aimed at one and all: ‘Poor fools, where are we running now? Why are we tempting fate?— why stumble blindly down to Circe’s halls? She’ll turn us all into pigs or wolves or lions made to guard that palace of hers—by force, I tell you— just as the Cyclops trapped our comrades in his lair with hotheaded Odysseus right beside them all— thanks to this man’s rashness they died too!

They stay a year. Again it's never stated that Odysseus slept with her that whole time. You could interpret that. (Honestly, I feel Circe would get bored with him? She's a goddess, she's got more important matters than mortal men. And she definitely doesn't love him.)

His men DO have to bring it up that "Odysseus has forgotten his native land." Maybe they thought they could sneak out without her knowing??? I am fucking REACHING but hold on as Telemachus did because he knew Nestor would well, be Nestor and try to coax him with "Have a meal with us! Let me tell you about how badass I used to be in my youth." But to sneak away from a goddess? Without her permission? That won't end too well. Aeolus in the beginning kicked out Odysseus when he tried to ask for another bag of wind. If she didn't want him around, she could literally boot him out. While she didn't force him to stay like Calypso did, she didn't "release" him either.

We don't know if they've been asking for a long time. Odysseus does say to Circe that they have been begging him nonstop, but he could also be saying that to try and convince her. He's good at persuasion. I think while he knew he could rely on her for food, shelter, and good advice, he still didn't feel...SAFE with her. I think he was possibly avoiding her personally.

I think HOW he asks her to leave is important to know as well.

...but I went up to that luxurious bed of Circe’s, hugged her by the knees and the goddess heard my winging supplication: ‘Circe, now make good a promise you gave me once— it��s time to help me home. My heart longs to be home, my comrades’ hearts as well. They wear me down, pleading with me whenever you’re away.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Throughout all of Homer's works, the characters grasp another's knees when they are desperate and are literally at the other person's mercy. Priam did when begging Achilles for Hector's body back. The man who literally killed his son and was defiling his body by dragging it around. Leodes grabs Odysseus' knees to beg for his life before Ody kills him. If he saw her as a friend, and not a captor, WHY DID HE FEEL THE NEED TO BEG IN ORDER TO LEAVE?! No one, who is in a healthy relationship, has to BEG for permission to leave. Or to "Break up", if you interpret them as still sleeping together.

And even Circe acknowledges that he is there against his will!

‘Royal son of Laertes, Odysseus, old campaigner, stay on no more in my house against your will.

(Fagles, Book 10)

[...]Odysseus, man of many resources, scion of Zeus, son of Laertes, don’t stay here a moment longer against your will

(A.S. Kline, Book 10)

This is probably another reach that you can ignore but the whole "they wear me down", could be trying to appease her. "Look, you're REALLY cool, it's actually my crew that wants to leave hahahah please don't kill them"

I mentioned before how Telemachus snuck away from Nestor but that was simply out of necessity because he needed to go home now. Not rest for the night. NOW. Nestor is just everyone's grandpa. Menelaus kind of talked more but Telemachus is very straight up in "Please I have to go now" and Menelaus immediately got things ready for him. He never has to beg and clasp his knees. Telemachus was never afraid. Menelaus is a fun uncle and Helen is your cool auntie.

Back to Circe! She tells him instructions for the underworld, they were in her bedroom. But that might've been the only way to speak with her. As even Penelope is usually away from the suitors when they are in her halls, Circe may have done the same. The text never states she played hostess physically. If she was hosting in the halls during the day, why did Odysseus wait until night to talk to her? He could've just asked her while she was on her throne in front of everyone. (He did so with the Phaeacians)

Or maybe he went alone because she only swore an oath to not harm him and so he didn't want his men near if she decided she didn't want to let them go. I could be missing something here so feel free to say something. Idk if this was a pride thing on how "I don't want others to see me beg".

She has info he needs in order to go home as well. She tells him to go to the Underworld.

She gave him new fine clothes and put on pretty clothes herself but that doesn't mean they had sex. Nausicaa gave him nice clothes as well but he never slept with her.

Then he leaves. Immediately. Not even doing a headcount as he didn't realize one of his men had died. (That was negligence on his part but he wanted out) He booked it, to the UNDERWORLD BY THE WAY. Circe even had to sneak the animals he needed for the sacrifice. Odysseus even basically said "She's a goddess. She can do things mortals can't" at the end of the book. And it almost feels...Numb? Solemn? Neutral? Gives a "It is what it is" vibe.

But Circe got to the dark hull before us, tethered a ram and black ewe close by— slipping past unseen. Who can glimpse a god who wants to be invisible gliding here and there?

(Fagles, Book 10)

She’d slipped past us with ease, for who can see a god move back and forth, if she has no desire to be observed?

(Johnston, Book 10)

She's a goddess. She has magic. She can do whatever the fuck she wants.

NOW ON TO BOOK 12!!! That was long! GET A SNACK AND WATER! LUCKILY THIS'LL BE SHORTER!

In Book 11, Odysseus swears, upon all his loved ones in Ithaca, to Elpenor that he'd give him a proper burial as he's been "unwept, unburied". So in Book 12, he sails back to Aeaea to fulfill his promise.

But you know what's funny to me?

He didn't tell Circe he was there.

He didn't even go to greet Circe himself. He sent his men to go get Elpenor's body.

The biggest clue that he didn't love/trust her is that if she was his "Affair partner" then why not go see her for "one last night together"?

SHE came out herself and pulled him aside to know what happened and then gave more advice.

I dispatched some men to Circe’s halls to bring the dead Elpenor’s body. [...]

Nor did our coming back from Death escape Circe— she hurried toward us, decked in rich regalia, handmaids following close with trays of bread and meats galore and glinting ruddy wine. [...]

But Circe, taking me by the hand, drew me away from all my shipmates there and sat me down and lying beside me probed me for details

(Fagles, Book 12)

In every translation, it talks about how he sits, and she lounges/lies down. That's not sex 🙃 In some translations, it even says he tried to be with his shipmates but she pulled him away!

So we lay down and slept beside our ship’s stern cables. But Circe took me by the hand and led me away, some distance from the crew. She made me sit, while she stretched out beside me on the ground.

(Johnston, Book 12)

Then, she gives advice about the sirens, Charybdis, Scylla, and her father's Cattle. He tries to ask if he could save all his men. She scolds him for even thinking he could try. He again books it out of there.

I think we all know it wasn't "love". But I think a lot of people think Odysseus was willing and happy with whatever this was. "Friends with Benefits", if you will. I guess you could see it that way but I will say that makes me feel itchy with the whole power dynamic and fear. I don't think folks who have that arrangement have to beg on their knees to ask if they can leave though.

I mean the entirety of Book 10 gives me the vibes of "Laughing uncomfortably because you don't want to upset the other person". To just grin and bear it.

A lot of this was just putting the text here and picking it apart step by step. What you do with this is up to you. It's rambling while banging pots and pans together.

Maybe you see him as drugged the entire year and still sleeping together, as the moli "wore off". Even then, just because her magic can't affect him, there are plenty of natural concoctions that can be created that can affect mortals.

Maybe you see the entire year as sex work in exchange for shelter and food.

Maybe he was just alongside his men the whole time under her roof and was avoiding her after the exchange. After he got asked by his men to finally leave, he would start to walk up to that room only to freeze and turn around, thinking "One more day won't hurt. Should wait until I know she's in a sympathetic mood".

I beg of you, however, PLEASE understand that there was fear and coercion throughout his entirety on Aeaea. He wasn't staying to get laid. While there is so much going on and too many things that are left vague to really know exactly what happened, it is consistent that he was scared/numb. Lots of people go through with things they don't really want to do just to appease others. There are plenty of situations of sexual trauma where one person goes through something and the other has no idea the other person isn't okay. ESPECIALLY WHEN SOMEONE CAN HARM THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT AT ANY MOMENT!

Sexual trauma is a very complicated thing and while he was scared, he definitely wasn't as traumatized by her as he was by Calypso. Calypso was a torturous hell while Circe was a year of walking on eggshells. Not comparable but I still think it should be acknowledged. It's wild because I read the Odyssey and kept thinking "Y'all are calling the sex slave a cheater? The guy who slept with a goddess to get his men back? The ultimate simp apparently doesn't love his wife??"

Things I'm adding that shouldn't affect the argument as it is not in the Odyssey but I want to mention as it's a "fun fact": Odysseus' dad was an Argonaut. Laertes probably met Circe as well, (or knew of her) with the whole purifying thing and maybe Odysseus heard his dad tell stories of her. Later myths also have Circe with the habit of turning her crushes (or their lovers) into something with Scylla and Picus.

In conclusion, Yeah, he was afraid of her. At least to an extent. And don't pull the whole "Ancient men didn't get raped". Male victims exist and deserve compassion for what was done to them and women are capable of sexual abuse. If you think otherwise, you are not a true feminist and Fuck you. I said in the beginning this'll be casual and I don't wanna write a fancy ending. You can still think Circe is neat but you have to know that this was fucked up.

If you think a lot of this is bullshit or wanna give more context or wish to yell with me but still know he wasn't alright on Aeaea, cool. If you want to point out mistakes or something I should keep in mind with interpretations then feel free to say so but give text evidence. If you try and bring up the Telegony and/or Madeline Miller's Circe, fuck clean off. This is Homer. If you call Odysseus a whore and not the malewife he canonically is I'll start biting. 😤

#feel free to add thoughts! just be nice #Was a bit afraid to post this but now I don't care lol #I'm a tired bitch #Youtube and idiots on tumblr got me acting up.#This may be too thorough but idc.#idk why the colors get weird #I don't know how other people can see all these things lined up together and not see how he was not okay.#like I said you can still like circe the goddess but know this was wrong!#might make private sometime but fuck it #Circe the goddess is “fine”. Circe the book is not #It sounds like it does her dirty anyways. Odyssey Circe would take book Circe out back and beat the absolute shit outta her.#if you bring up the tele-GONE-y then BEGONE yourself #odysseus #the odyssey #odyssey #circe #tagamemnon #tw rape #tw sa #tw sex assault #crying shaking throwing up #greek mythology #circe rant #odyssey rant #anti madeline miller #anti circe #the BOOK #Mad rambles #anti-madeline miller #essay

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ixkhor-and-ambroxia · 5 months

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Hey #GreekMythology tumblr, I want ya’lls help on something :).

So, I’ve been thinking about starting this massive project. Like, would take years and years work of writing and research and sheerly finding the time and motivation for. And as I was thinking about the specifics, I thought: why not bring others into it as well? Because as much as I am interested in a lot of Greek Mythology, there are things that are simply not my interests and might cause writers block and my goal for the project would to be as fun as possible. So, here we are.

What is the project exactly? Well, hopefully, it’ll be a long Ao3 series/fic focusing on the individual perspectives of various figures/events in Greek Mythology arranged in (semi/good enough) chronological order. I personally intend to write for Poseidon in his/my version of the Titanomachy and (maybe) some events that follow, if you want a little bit of an idea on what I’m talking about.

The limits on this are almost completely free, all that I ask are that each of your submissions are one POV only (and by that I mean your main subject’s POV). Why do I say this? I say this because that is what I want this project to look like. It doesn’t matter if it’s First, Second, or Third POV along with all the other variants of those three, my main focus is on the individual experiences of these individuals. Kind of like character studies, if you know what I mean. I’m intending for it to be mostly formal but I will absolutely accept crack admissions that I will probably put into its own series to Separate the Vibes for whoever comes by :).

Ultimately, this is a completely open-ended project that has absolutely no deadline. I’m about to go to bed so I can’t go into too much detail, but if you want to DM me or send any asks, I am completely okay with that and we’ll all flesh out the specifics we go :).

What is my overall purpose? Not only is this project made for my own individual purposes of learning more about the gods and other Greek Mythology writers, but it’s also the chance to spread the word of other writers. I know how hard it is to get specific audiences, especially when you’re shy, so this is a chance for your work to be stumbled upon. Each post on the eventual Ao3 fic will include your socials, how to find you, and your other general works on either ao3, tumblr, wattpad, or other :)

Can you participate even without socials or a tumblr page? Yes you absolutely can :). My asks will always be open to anons and I will do my best to give credit when I eventually post everything :). If you want to post multiple submissions or simply just want a trackable (between works) name to your writing, just sign something at the end. It could be a name, it could be a potential username, I don’t mind at all :)).

How do I submit things? Well, the best way would be to DM me :). I have a personal writing email separate from most things that would be perfect to either share a google docs with or to just send a copy-and-pasted copy of it. Otherwise, I take asks. None of them will be posted unless asked or we’re ready to so it’ll be safe to just drop them off in! It’s also where I take questions :).

Any other things to note? I’d really appreciate some other moderators and editors :). There’d only be like two or three of each and we’d have to know each other decently well before officially starting, but some help would be appreciated! Also, I’d like to keep a working ‘spreadsheet’ of who’s working on what just for people to see what’s going on :). Maybe some people can collaborate or it’ll encourage those niche writers to write :). A third thing is that most questionable stuff is accepted. I’d personally rather not handle all those things other than posting it so it might be a while until I can officially accept (consensual and/or graphic) ✨spicy stuff✨ but, other than that, I’ll take any of it (also, it’s Greek Mythology, almost all of it already happened). If someone’s willing to take over the ✨spicy stuff✨ then please DM me so we can work out the details and see if it’s a nice fit :)

Honestly, that all should be it. The main point is that I’m trying to start up a long-term project on Tumblr and Ao3 about what is essentially Greek Mythology character studies that not only allows for mass communication across a wide audience, but also (hopefully) gets some recognition for the smaller writers :). Feel free to DM me or send me asks with questions but for now, I shall sleep

Tagging: @bluebellstudio @thirteen-deaths-later @0lympian-c0uncil @happyk44 @h0bg0blin-meat @sworeontheriverstyx @deathlessathanasia @gotstabbedbyapen. Sorry if I tagged you and you want nothing to do with it, I just wanted to get it out there /pos /gen

#ya know this is the one time I regret deleting all my old accounts :/#I had such a large (ish) following on my old tumblr (neptunes-sea-of-writing btw if you recognize it)#that it’s kind of intimidating to restart again :(#need to do it tho. i just gotta #but I haven’t really written-#anyway that’s not this post’s problem #tagging everyone to try to get it out there #even if you aren’t interested #it’d be appreciated if you share anyway to get to a larger audience :)#i just. wanna build that community and know more things #as much as I’d love to tackle this project all on my own #I know I can’t and it wouldn’t be beneficial for me #but since a large portion of it is gaining knowledge #why not ask it from others?#tagging everyone to get it out there #also the general tag is going to be:#Neptune’s Big Ass Greek Mythology Project #bc why not :)#but seriously #consider it if it’s your thing #and if it’s not that’s fine #I remember being a small writer so intimidated to find people #and I’m feeling that feeling once again having started my entire platform over again :)#we’ve all got this. we’ll make it work /pos #greek mythology #also #you can write for absolutely any fandom #idc #as long as it’s one consistent pov of your focus character :)#also I’m like incredibly sleep deprived and tired rn ive been up since four am and its nine pm rn

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head---ache · 6 days

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whenever i get a compliment on my art about something specific i look back to my own art to try to see what they're seeing ig?? like try to look at it through their perspective??? hey google is this normal/j

#this is why this thing going on of people recreating people's styles is so crazy to me/pos #as someone whos terrified of being perceived i need to know at all times what people think of me NKNSKXNSLFM #idc if u hate me i just need to know/hj #so getting to see my art from an outsiders pov is cool!! also seeing what other people think makes up my style is cool #idkidk #socially anxious thoughts ig lmao

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sundial-bee-scribbles · 2 months

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meow〜

#my art lol #vocaloid #vocaloid fanart #kaito vocaloid #meiko vocaloid #vocaloid meiko #vocaloid kaito #kaimei #sorta?? can be read as platonic/romantic idc interpret as u wish #red #blue #black #there's a funny bonus that goes w/ this but i hate how npf doesnt register breaks properly anymore and fucks up post titles #so i just wont add it here ig. rip. there was ALSO supposed to be a companion piece to this that was darker n edgier #but i am not drawing cyber cat kaito ever again bruh I DIDNT THINK IT WOULD BE THAT HARD TO DRAW BUT WHAT IS GOING ONNN #anyways when i first played project mirai i realized meiko had this module and i was like 'holy shit they can both be cats'#2nd attempt at drawing this cause i didnt like how the first version was coming out. this was supposed to be more emo but eh #me everytime i draw like yeah this is honestly not my best work. post it.#IDC i had fun doing this even if its not the most polished. and i gotta move on to other things #if i agonize over one art piece forever ill never get other shit done. so yuh. make it look decent enough and move on

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viatrix-glow · 5 months

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new di x warrior cats

name explanations and more info below :3

basic stuff

-each agency is a clan, not each unit. 14-15 clans would be silly and then we would have some clans with 5 cats and some with 2.

-starpro -> lightclan. i couldn’t call them “starclan” for obvious reasons. light is somewhat synonymous with star, so i’m going with that.

-cospro -> nightclan. i don’t think the cats in warriors know the word “cosmic”, but cosmic implies cosmos implies night sky, so we’re going with night

-rhyth lin -> rippleclan. ripple is sort of a synonym to rhythm….? this one was hard

-new di -> fortuneclan. this one is a stretch but neither “new” or “dimension” have synonyms that really fit a clan name. fortune is something that relates to multiple characters in new di though

-starclan still sort of exists, but the cats do not believe in them the way they do in warriors. they are more of a nursery tale than anything, and select cats (ex: tatsumi) believe in them, but it is not written into their code. medicine cats can still interpret signs, but they do not necessarily think of them as coming from starclan.

-medicine cat forbidden romance is not a thing here

-intermingling of clans is ok and common

-there’s like. other cats in their clans besides just the enstars cast i assume

cat names/why i chose them

fortuneclan:

knights

-tsukasa -> scarletstar (scarletblossom) . he is the leader of fortuneclan because he is one of the new di reps for the summits. both scarlet and blossom were chosen bc of his last name (scarlet is a red color… kinda similar to cherry…. and blossom for the cherry blossom).

-leo -> lionheart. ok this one is kind of cheating because lionheart is already an existing warrior, but…come on….

-izumi -> silverspring. sora describes his color as silver, and spring is in his first name

-ritsu -> frostmoon. his first name means cold moon according to the wiki so i just rehashed it

-naru -> goldenroar. since she doesn’t like her first name i didn’t want to use “storm”, and her last name can be read as “thunder” but that’s a little too close to storm? so golden for her hair and roar for her last name

switch

-natsume -> sageeye. a sage is similar to a wizard, and eye is in his first name . also the “dovesong” mentioned is wataru :)

-tsumugi -> bluewing. he is a bluebird. warrior cats probably wouldn’t straight up call a cat “bluebird” so i put wing there instead. deputy cause he’s the vp

-sora -> skyspring . sora means sky. spring is in his last name. i could have used “stream” instead to differentiate him from sena but i think spring is cuter

mam/df

-madara -> tawnystripe . tawny bc it’s like kind of close to calico if you squint. stripe(s) is in his last name

#my art #enstars #ok so maybe we WOULD have 5 clans bc guess what was announced today #a new agency. and a new unit (or fucking 5? idk)#BUTWHATEVER #um i don’t know why i did this it was a joke at first but #then i started getting really into choosing names….#like originally it was just gonna be switch but then i was like hmmm… what if the agency is the clan #i’ve been reading so so much warrior cats i’m about to finish avos and then i’ll be caught back up to where i was #when i started this rereading journey last year #so like i have to apply it to my other interests #i’m proud of the names i chose i think they’re fun #yes leo’s is a cheat but idc #i hope someone else will appreciate this it’s mostly just me doing stuff for fun #i want to do the other units/agencies too but that might be a while cause yall this took #like a week . granted i’m busy rn but god damn picking designs for cats is hard!!#that’s why so many ended up being tabbies i just can’t resist they’re my favorites i’m definitely not biased #but also realistically tabby is a pretty common pattern so it’s fine #my fave design is naru’s btw i wanted to make her really pretty and i think i did ok #ok i’m going to bed bye #also forgot to mention i wanted to keep the names as close to canon warriors as i could so i had to find words similar to things that #the cats in warriors would know #sage is pushing it i don’t think they use sage in medicine . they def don’t know what a fortune is either but i don’t care

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seagull-scribbles · 1 year

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ʟᴇᴛ'ꜱ ɢᴏ ᴘᴀɪɴᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏᴡɴ ᴏɴ ᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴀʏ ʜᴏᴍᴇ,

ᴛʜᴇ ʙʟɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ʟɪɢʜᴛꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ ʙᴏɴᴇꜱ

#tmnt 2007 #casey jones #raphael hamato #rasey #thank you to everyone who voted the lyrics for the caption #I love doing little things like that it makes posting feel more like a community #also using this to try out an art signature for the first time…it’s took just over 3 years but #the turts day posts are doing very well and someone mentioned making a video so it seemed time to sign stuff #I watched 2007 last week and I bought the dvd from my friend #I really love this movie and it’s concepts and idk if it’s because they’re 20+ and I’m in my teweties #or because the Rasey content in this movie is the best canon rasey rep we have BUT I had to draw them #April definitely knows what’s up with these two but she’s not going to tell anyone #and I love what they have lmao #this was a play with lighting exorcise and I found some great music to listen to while I did it and i I #I just wish I had the energy and time to draw more of these guys fully rendered #this is meant to be when they first meet up for the night #you can decide who’s saying what and weather ralhs lifting the mask up or about to pull it down #oh oh also shout out to Helen who is a lovely catholic lady who saw me do this in public and was very supportive and understanding #also listen I know this is like the other 2007 one I did back in March but idc #there just isn’t enough of these guys I want them to f*ck on roof tops and fire escapes #and ride motorcycles obnoxiously out in public and beat people up in the most sadistic way possible #I want them to drink on Aprils couch together #I want them to offload their mental health issues to eachother in supportive healthy ways #I want them to do it in unhealthy ways where Casey shouts at ralh for making him think he was bedridden for 2 years #I want the #to talk about boring adult things and rediscover silly things they did as teens #idk i hate how aprils main role in the film is trying tk change whk casey is thats not a healthy relationship dont romanticise it

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sarcasmchandlerbing · 6 months

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Some Leafs players collages

#fuck i can't do any other collages/players/teams anymore cos the app i did the thing was taking too much storage/space on my phone 😭🤬😟#toronto maple leafs #tml #maple leafs #leafs #nhl #collages #mitch marner #matthew knies #auston matthews #tyler bertuzzi #ryan reaves #william nylander #nicholas robertson #john tavares #nick robertson #mitchell marner #my edit #sarcasmchandlerbing #hockey #ice hockey #sports #tried to do mark giordano and timothy liljegren also but then phone/gallery was starting to act up too much and then i had no choice but to #delete the app or whatever. it was fun making these while it lasted 😭 wanted to make much more of these but whatever! no fun for me then!#idc if people ignore these because yes i know these are not very... how would you say... professional? awesome? cool? these are easy to make #not so greatly done and i just use others photos (from google duh - but they are some others photos) - but i want to make badly made things #okay idk what am i saying anymore but if anyone is reading this (no they're not!) have a very nice day! 😊#hockey players #nhl players

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spacelesscowboy · 2 days

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truthfully while i enjoy billford and fiddauthor i think they’re much more fun as like. lightning in a bottle moments. weird built up tension that neither side acknowledges. but It’s There.

and 30 years later ford is shooting up in bed wide eyed and sweating going. oh my god i was in love w them. while both bill and fiddleford moved on LONG before ford even realized what was happening.

#emyrs.txt #gravity falls #like. in my mind them (billford or fiddauthor) actually happening at any point takes the fun outta it #there’s a post i saw a few days ago that was like. ‘whatever bill and ford did could not be recognizable as sex to us but it was essentially #sex’ and that’s sort of the vibe i feel w both ships.#like. they weren’t together and neither side acknowledged feelings. but…#it was the kind of relationship you look back on and go. oh my god that was us having gay sex.#you understand.#also this is just my opinion idc if u think this. etc etc. but i don’t find billford/fiddauthor end game to be very interesting at all #like. i just think they’re too volatile. billford wouldn’t be fair to ford/the pines family & fiddauthor wouldn’t be fair to fiddleford.#u know.#like obviously as one shots or jokes i think it’s funny & sometimes u want something silly and light hearted but narratively? dont like ‘em.#the only person ford slightly resolves his issues w is stan. so i think them hanging out having fun and going on adventures is much more #satisfying than ford repairing and forming a romantic relationship w bill or fidds #anyway this is why i’ve been rb so many fiddstan stuff lately. i just think they’re more interesting as a couple than fiddauthor. LMFAO #also bc i want stan to have Nice Things and fidds to have someone in his corner. they could fix each other. (<- guy making things up)#LMFAO #anyway. been thinking too much about the stan twins. sorry.

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angelof-thevoid · 3 days

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Favorite Ship / Supernova

(disclaimer: i hc eris morn with they/them pronouns)

Lately, things have been calm and she got her paperwork for the day done sooner than usual, so with the free time Ikora decided it would be nice to have a spontaneous date. She sends a message to Eris, hoping they aren’t busy at the moment. At least, far as she knew there shouldn’t be anything taking up their time. After a few moments Ikora smiles when her screen lights up with a response.

It’s a cool, clear night where you’d swear you could see every star in the galaxy that wasn’t eclipsed by the moonlight. A sight like this wasn’t possible in the last city, and seldom did Ikora get the chance to venture out of it. Duty was a chain and it kept her not too far from the city, but in the rare chances she had the opportunity she wanted to take advantage.

Setting down a blanket on the side of a hill, Ikora places two comfortable, large pillows she had against the incline. Eris patiently stood by, their form illuminated by the light of the moon as they looked up to the sky. She wondered how much hive eyes could pick up on the distant pin-pricks of light, having been told they weren't the same as human ones. If you compared it to human vision, technically you could say they were blind.

Nonetheless, they mentioned their way of “seeing” just works differently now. They still had a sense of their surroundings, even knew the distance between themselves and the moon. An odd thing to be precognitive of but they chalked it up to it being the birthplace of their transformation, when Eris became kin to the very enemy they sought the end of.

How things have changed. Outside of that Eris had a sensitivity to paracausality which gave her a refined sense of other guardians as well as the shape of their light, despite being without. Strange changes, but not without some benefits. Ikora reaches over to gently bump her hand against theirs to catch Eris’ attention without startling them. As if much could startle them anymore.

“Finished?” Eris asks as they turn to look at Ikora who nods, the pair’s hands linking together as they settle onto the cozy patch. They lean back, side by side with hands still intertwined and multiple points of contact between their bodies. Silence hung in the air for a short time as they enjoyed the view, until Ikora broke it with a question. One she had long wondered about since Eris’ ascent from the Hellmouth.

“Do you miss it?” She softly questions, gently squeezes Eris’ hand with her thumb rubbing against the length of theirs. “Miss what?” They reply after a short second. “The light. What you were, before-” Ikora stops herself choosing not to say the rest.

A contemplative pause, “It doesn’t matter now, does it? It happened. All I can do is move forward in spite of it.” That solemn answer cuts straight through Ikora’s question with a knife’s edge. She turns her head toward Eris who continues, “Nothing good comes from dwelling on what’s missing.” and then a little quieter. “Do you wish I was unchanged?”

Ikora frowns and quickly sits up, turning her whole body towards them. “I only wish for you to return from the things you hunt every time, safe and sound.” Eris gazes at her as she leans over to rest a hand against their cheek. “It doesn’t matter, as long as you’re still here.” She gives Eris an affectionate smile.

Eris’ own lips quirk up as they sit up as well, faces hovering inches apart before they make the first move to kiss Ikora. It lasts mere seconds as they slowly break apart but still close enough to feel each other’s breath. “In my darkest, loneliest moments, I miss the presence of your light over mine.”

To think, after everything that’s happened including losing the light, Eris would rather have Ikora leaves her feeling a certain way. She feels the void open its empty maw in her chest, wanting to devour her heart over the proclamation. “Do you?” Ikora breathes out, letting the void energy trickle through her fingertips against Eris’ cheek.

Eris’ shivers a little from the sensation as they turn their face more into her hand, the ever present dark tears dissipate against Ikora’s radiant light. “I do.” Almost reluctantly, they retreat from the physical contact to look Ikora full on when they ask, “Show me your light.”

It comes out not as a question but like a lover’s request for their partner to share their body. And traveler save her, she finds herself bending easily to it. Usually Ikora wasn’t for unnecessary displays of her light, but she couldn’t resist Eris. So she adjusts into a kneeled position and brings her hands to hover in front of her mid-air.

Fluorescent violet light begins to form in a small, concentrated ball between her hands, steadily growing in size and luminescence. Ikora envisions in her mind pouring the void into a container, particles being shifted in an even circular motion that continues to slowly get bigger.

It’s the size of a kick ball when she decides to stand up, purple light shining its hue across the two of them. Eris watches the nova bomb increase further and further until Ikora has to lift it over her head and release it up toward the sky, flying up and up to a seemingly impossible height until it explodes like a collapsing star.

Like a firework streaks of void shoot outward from the center and leave glittering trails of void as the bolts try and fail to find a target, thus bursting into smaller showers of purple that sparkle amongst the starry sky. An imprint of the void lingers like the burn of an afterimage from a too bright light.

“Beautiful.” Eris says in appreciation. Ikora sits back down with them as they reach out to grab her hand and trace it, making her shiver in return. She pulls their hand up to her mouth and kisses the knuckles of it, huffing a short laugh. “I’m glad you can still find beauty in the light.”

#ikoraweek2024 #ikora rey #destiny 2 #prompt is favorite ship? oh baby you know what time it is with me #listen i know that just watching someone lob a nova bomb doesn't sound exciting #its less about the what and more about the who. watching someone else perform a mundane task vs watching someone you love #finding beauty and awe for the little things because its not just about liking what they're best at but anything they do #also its because half the time i'm in raids or some other activity and i have a charged nova but we have to stop or wipe #i love to just lob that thing up and watch it explode. everyone else: arguing over best super due to utility/damage #me: nova bomb cataclysm because it big pretty purple explosion #anyway. i like to hc eris is technically blind by human standards but hive and paracausal sense ability wise #she's more aware than someone with 20/20 vision. and i like the idea that guardians can be discerned by their #own individual light or even darkness capabilities. does it make sense? maybe not.#did this fic feel ooc as i wrote it and is it? maybe but idc. i want love and appreciation of your partner #just for their simplest most mundane things. not just for the exemplary things they do #and these 2 deserve to have more moments not being entirely closed off/focused on what's happening. a moment of vulnerability #void.txt #void.write

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