#idk but i'm back on my googling how to be a human being shit

[deesi-academia]

hey, I saw the anti swiftie post. If you're comfortable mag I know the reason why? I am kinda neutral about her but I feel like I should know stuff. I understand if you don't wanna answer this. Take care <3

(also I agree the swiftie fandom is kinda annoying lmao)

hello old old old anon ask I'm so sorry for replying so late but yeah hi 😭

I have tons of time on my hands for the next.... 30 minutes so let's get into it. I'll list a time line of my thought process to how I came to the 'ex-swiftie' conclusion:

1. She released a song called "renegade" which is good, but I found some lines problematic and unexpected, because I used to hold swift to a pedestal (guilty as charged).

The lines were 'is it insensitive of me to say get your shit together so I can love you' and 'is it really your anxiety stopping {something love something idk} or do you just not want to?' SOOOOO yeah these thew me off a little.

2. Her album Midnights came out which I ADORED, became my fav so quick. But then her multiple variations of vinyls etc threw me off again. This is when the Bad Feeling About Her started setting in.

3. Then she released the song 'You're losing me' which just BLARED red flags to me even though the song is actually good. It's the first time I think, where she hinted that she broke up with her bf (Joe Alwyn) because of his mental illness.

4. The ongoing carbon emissions controversy lol, and her buying carbon credits... like it just felt like a "hah I'm rich so I can do whatever wrongs i want and buy it out" moment. I really hated that, since I live in a pretty polluted city so it hit close to home.

5. She threatened to sue the teenager who published PUBLIC data about her flights. Bad.

6. The entire free palestine movement gained momentum and she stayed silent. She has her image as the American Princess and Activist Who Can Do No Wrong. Feminist Queen. Speaker For Those Who Can't Speak. Yada Yada.

I simply hated her billionaire self as she chose to stay silent (and still is). To call off the criticism she and her bestie Selena went to a live comedy show where the comedian donated his earnings for Gaza relief. LIKE. ??????? Basic billionaire below underground level of "donation"???? This had to be a joke. It was not.

I think this incident was the final straw for me where I realized I can't support her if she's such a human being. That's not what my morals stand for thank you very much.

7. I REALLY tried to separate the art from the artist but I couldn't. Not with my sane mind and strong ethics. AND THEN the entire Matty healy debacle. He's a misogynistic, racist, zionist, ugh of a person.

I don't think anyone can date someone with such drastic opposing values. So the Taylor-Matty era further tarnished her image in front of me.

8. Fast forward and she releases her new album The Tortured Poets Department. That's it this was my final straw. You can just Google and go on a reddit thread about how problematic this album is. I'll probably write a long ass essay on it. Anyway this is where I decided I'm done, back in April.

Since then I've just been trying to cope with losing my fav artist because of the person she turned out to me. And people say we shouldn't hold celebs to such high standards but bro. Taylor PROMOTES parasocial relationships. SHE held her image to that standard until recently. There's an entire documentary on Netflix about that - Miss Americana.

So yeah she let me down from the pedestal she put herself on. It's been 2+ months and I'm still coping, because I genuinely lost a very important part of my life - her music. It has got me through tough times and I have many good memories associated with those songs.

Anyway, here's to new artists to love ONLY for their music lol 🥂

[vogelmeister]

Do you know any shows or movies in dutch or even music? Im trying to improve my skills (but this language is terribly complicated)

I wrote a post on dutch songs a while back so ill pm it to you. However media is a different story, and I'm actually not that great on media, even in English- but i will show you where i learned basic dutch aka important words aka… very random words.

may i introduce you to

✨Wie is de Mol ✨

(everyone clap)

hello dear reader would you like to TRUST NOBODY? yes. okay. cool. picture this. you are a semi famous dutch person and you, along with nine other dutch people go off to a foreign country to complete super cool challenges (opdrachten) and earn money to go towards a group pot. except there’s a twist. theres a saboteur (de mol) and their whole purpose is to ensure the least amount of money enters that pot. during this de mol must obviously gain the trust of the group (kandidaten) and the kadidaten have to figure out who de mol is. at the end of the episode theres often a test and execution in which the participants have to answer 20 questions re who the mol is (questions include things like ‘what city was de mol born in’ ‘how much money did de mol earn in the lasergame’) and whoever does the worst has to go home. the mol can never go home. the winner is the person who guesses de mol with the most correct answers in the final and they get the contents of the pot. im not kidding when i say this show is equal parts hilarious (bc they’re human and do stupid shit), suspenseful and very fun (bc you can play at home!).

Some of my favourite seasons include:

Season 18. This season is my favourite by far. Had one of the gutsiest mols, all around good group and honestly one of the best game show reality TV plot twists of all time. Art’s last season as host, too.

(Also I definitely stole his surname for my OC bye.)

Season 19: Idk why this ones here I just felt like including it. I actually think the 2018-2021 era of widm is the best one so that’s why im putting it here, and this season is fun. Cool mol reveal too.

Anniversary Season: Honestly I definitely recommend watching some older seasons before diving into this bc they definitely reference shit from old seasons and bring back old mols, but asides from this the mol this season was pretty good and Tuscany is lovely to look at. Fun group too full of old kandidaten.

Season 14: Unpopular I know but I loved the mol this season- they definitely reminded me of myself but also I just remembered this season as being super fun with cool opdrachten. Also a really important thing gets introduced here which was a staple in newer seasons

Season 13: The superior South Africa season with a very fun mol.

Season 21: Honestly? Shit mol this season, I figured it out via a DREAM but the kandidaten this season are iconic and it has one of the best alliances in widm history in my opinion. Czechia is stunning and it was the first time i guessed de mol too

Season 11: Watch for nothing if not Art Rooijakkers and the most unsafe opdrachten ever.

(If you want my opinion on any other season pm me lol, it’s late and I don’t want to type them all but SEASON EIGHTEEN!!!)

Anyways all episodes are on YouTube with English subs, just google widm English subs and you’ll find them. The seasons often ten episodes long, 1 hour per episode, with the final episode being the mol reveal. I think if you want that channel also supports dutch subs but i cannot remember rn!

enjoy!!!

:)

[literalite]

asks

these r all the asks i got last night about the whole aesthetic discussion i'll answer in order of when i got them :p

truth b told if i started simblr like. today and knew nothing about photoshop then i'd probably be pretty demoralised too but also thats exactly how it was starting simblr anyway i just worked on it until i was happy w my skills... no one gave me a cheat code i just put time and effort into it

i agree with u im ngl like i do sincerely wish everyone had the opportunity to put hours and hours of their lives into learning how everything about this works if thats what they truly wanted. also if anything doing it solely by urself will make the process all the more time consuming but if u ask around for help people (including me! im down to help fr) will usually give it to u and that'll speed up the process more. being mad at me for having that is pointless what am i gna do go back in time and unlearn it all and for what? dsfghjk

okay i did see this being said a lot and uhhhh i was trying to understand it but like. i also don't. like ok with cluttered aesthetic build shots or yknow the odd landscape with heavy bloom shader on it i guess if ur looking at it completely from that pov yeah i guess it looks like some posts that "blow up" r just sort of the same shit. but the fact remains that its also it's good shit like anyone can clutter a room and take a photo of it what really counts here in my opinion anyhow is shot composition. and there's literally preestablished rules for this sort of thing u can google cinematography basics and get it for free... there's a whole field of study looking into what draws the human eye. like maybe the core concepts behind what makes a popular post popular is the same but thats because it just works. if u wanna shy away from that entirely but then complain about ur posts not being as popular then that's very much a u problem it doesn't have anything to do with the rest of us

amen these are my ocs wdym these are "sims" LOLLL these are the real people living in my head if i bust my ass making them look good then thats a choice i made

u can call this an empathy problem and try explain it to me more but i dont see how other people feeling insecure about what their current ability scales up to is any fault of mine or my problem to bend backwards to try fix... or even how i could. like is the standard high now yeah honestly it is. the learning curve was steep as hell when i first started as well. no disagreements here. but what am i supposed to do about it LMAO like i didn't create the human proclivity to be drawn to beauty i just ride off of it.

idk why i'm the bad guy for being honest for my reasoning behind what i do and don't reblog? lots of other people have been saying they dont really care about aesthetics which is great but if i said that i'd literally just be lying to you. i'm not gonna apologise for not lying... i like being able to see the passion and energy poured into the same video game we're all playing it's only natural to appreciate that- if that reads as passive aggression and u don't understand my stance that's fine by me

i would say for me personally try watch visual media that u can recognise as "beautiful" and not to shit on like. cw shows but i mean stuff that is marked by its cinematography being truly excellent. and just really examine how those set and lighting designers use angles and lighting and how the people filming and editing choose to frame their shots to achieve what works. hell looking at art helps with this too. look at other people's stuff on simblr analytically try to seriously work out why it appeals to people the way it does. ik u asked for editing tips but i think it really starts ingame you can have the most incredible editing style but it doesn't work if ur shot comp doesn't work then it'll won't hit as hard

take time to learn what most of the adjustment layers do on photoshop, and what all the blending layers look like, download other people's psds and play with them on top of ur shots to see what works! what u personally think looks good will be different from what i personally think looks good, i like dramatic lighting and muted colours and mid level contrast so not too strong but i can't speak for whether you will too. ALSO im a religious user of @/simmerstesia's psd set here i think a well chosen shot can be really elevated by using something like this to really give it that final polish

additionally if u have any like really specific questions or need some advice u can ask me on discord my dms are open like i can talk u thru it. promise it's not as daunting as it can look

[women-of-malevolent]

All references to women in Part 25 - The Cracks

**TW: some references to real-world horrors of American history

Arthur and John are escaping the mines. John is despondent, probably because he's just escaped thousand-year dungeon and then Arthur rejected his attempts to save innocents by physically assaulting those innocents while yelling, "Is this what you want? Is this what you want?". Arthur demands to know what's wrong, come on, they're going back for the captives later! John lets on that, he's not despondent, he's just disappointed. Arthur says, John sounds like a parent. He remembers being disappointed, too. John says, I thought you don't remember what life was like before this. Arthur says, he remembers using that tactic on his 3 year-old daughter: "Knowingly or not, you're trying to tell me you disapprove of my actions. Well, I'm sorry to say, John, that in times of survival, we can't afford to be as naive as you." Because John wants to help these people, he thinks they're innocent, they might be guilty!

I think it's a fun character beat that Arthur Lester conceives of himself as having used disapproval as a manipulation tactic on his three-year-old daughter. Genuinely enjoy.

John says, if they might be guilty at some indiscriminate possible historical point, then they deserve to be mind-controlled and randomly slaughtered now? Arthur says, not necessarily, but they really might be very guilty to have gotten there! (thinking of Larson and Addison, I'm sure). Arthur says he appreciates and loves that John found so much humanity, but a bleeding heart can only get them killed, John gets that, right? John reluctantly says, Arthur may be right. Arthur says, he's not saying they lose themselves, they just need to stay mindful. John says, okay. Arthur says, don't be disappointed that we didn't help them! John says, I'm disappointed that you don't seem to care. Arthur says, pfft whatever I care, whether you see/remember it or not, now give me your eye narration service so we can leave.

Are the people still there? Yes. Good.

They find the strange old room with art, statues, paintings, tables. It's dusty and barred. Arthur wonders why this was built into the mines. John says, it feels old. Arthur says, how old could it be, when New England is only a few hundred years old (😬) and it's impossible for there to be anything older, because they didn't sail across the sea until... wait, what is John saying? Even if these rooms are old, the work and expense that went into making this room, well! (😬 excuse me?? 😬😬) And John says, the city below the hotel was very old, clearly there are things Arthur doesn't know about the world. Arthur says, he knows plenty about this part of the world, trust him. John says, maybe there are things he doesn't know about the world, maybe he's been lied to. About how the country was founded? John, don't be silly.

Is this intentional, I feel like it must be. To spell out, I mean, the human history of America, goes back thousands of years, and it didn't start when Europeans sailed over.

Weird thing, when you google Native American history, the History Channel always comes up first for some reason? That's fucking weird, please don't defer to them, their shit is awful. IDK how to teach media literacy. do your best, try to go with trustworthy sources and multiple sources, consider perspective sources and incentives, etc. I think JSTOR is pretty trustworthy, Wikipedia is often good too.

Anyways the language here feels very intentional about the lies that Arthur heard about the founding of the country of America specifically.

Didn't the newspaper in the last episode mention that the mine was built 60 years ago? That's the Civil War, the 1860s.

shrug I don't know

Arthur relitigates the argument, it clearly matters to him a lot that John thinks well of him. He tells John that he's not a bad dude he's actually a really good dude and he just wants what's best for the two of them, John says okay.

I guess one of the three soldiers has a name that might be a woman's name but I don't care bc John already saw them and described them as men and somehow I doubt that we're going to get any actual scene where one of them is like, "Actually I'm a woman, stop misgendering me!" If that changes I'll include her...

Arthur says, maybe this room is for The Order of the Fallen Star. John asks, why did Larson build here? Arthur says, because the coal. John questions that. He asks, what exactly did Larson tell Arthur? Arthur says... not very much, I don't know, I can't make sense of it.

John asks, tell me about everything. Arthur says, Wallace Larson is hundreds of years old, he founded this town, a mining town, he had children who died in an accident, all but one, his daughter, who shared a name with the town. John points out that Wallace didn't explicitly found the town for mining. John asks, how did we get to the mines? Arthur remembers the woman in the vents, she was being hurt by Uncle, one of Larson's children or grandchildren. It sounded like the woman was trapped, crying, whimpering. After Arthur pointed out that he heard her, it sounded like Uncle entered the room and killed her. John asks if Arthur knew who she was; no, and Larson didn't, either.

So, do we go towards or away from the danger? Arthur votes away. John is disappointed, the woman sounded trapped! What if there are more trapped people? Arthur says, stopping Larson will stop this all. John is unconvinced that Larson needs to die. Arthur insists, and tries to spin it like, well, who knows, maybe we'll see some mine people who will help us! John says, sure.

John narrates for Arthur; the hallway is much the same, but more oppressive now. John says, you said the woman sounded trapped... Arthur says, does this look like a prison? John says, yes.

Oh wow I also totally forgot this part. The woman in Larson's torture dungeon was murdered by having her jaw ripped out of her face. Poetic really.

Arthur gives John a hard time for being upset by this; it's not their first dead body!

They meet Matthew, a prisoner who begs them for help escaping. He has all-black eyes. He gives them some clues as he begs for escape. Arthur keeps pushing him even as he says he'll be killed for talking. John is distressed. He is killed. The information we get in exchange for his life: This place is old, it's not for Larson, The Order of the Fallen Star is old, in New York, invite-only, like the Freemasons. Again, it feels intentional to drop real-world male-only society clubs like the Freemasons? And then Arthur gets into them by collaborating with his dead wife's terrible dad? I thought it was going somewhere with that. We'll get there.

Not going in depth on this just want to save it for later

They let him out

Head goes 'splodo

[justjstuff]

the ask game: I am curious about 54, 56, 66 and 71. Hope you have a nice day 🥰

ty for asking, anon!! Have a nice day <3

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

r: Idk! I really love the brainstorming stage where the ideas I have won't leave me alone and I'm thinking about it all day, all night and like, talking to my friends about it, ranting about smth or another. But! I also really really REALLY love getting reviews and answering them. To me that's what makes fanfiction so different from traditional art forms, you get the immediate interaction with people who are currently enjoying your stuff, you get to connect with people you'd never meet irl if you both didn't like that same pairing. I just love it, it makes me feel weirdly human. It's also one of the reasons why I have so much trouble writing stuff and finishing it before posting lol

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

r: My fighting scenes. Also the fact that even when I'm afraid to go somewhere because of the reaction I might get, I don't let it stop me! It's taken me some time to realise there's literally always going to be someone who will enjoy exactly what I want to write and I don't need to police myself to try and please the highest amount of people. There's always going to be people who don't like what you write and people who love it.

66. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

r: Hmmmm not well but also extremely well? Lmfao. I didn't think I was susceptible to pressure to update but it turns out I was lol I dealt with it for a long time until it seemed like too much and it started getting to me. Cue a year long writer's block. Negative comments actually fuel me lmao I'm such a spite motivated writer, whenever I see someone talking shit about my fic or even being rude I'm like: Bet *cracks knuckles*. I hate deadlines but they actually really work for me :/

71. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

r: oof I'm a messy writer despite having very detailed outlines. I currently have two notebooks for my longfic Daughter of Fire, plus some notes on a google docs and like somehow I can never find what I need xD but! For writing, it works that I do it like this: I'll outline several chapters in advance, for example, I know what will happen throughout the fic, I have a very detailed outline until chapter 55, I'm writing chapter 48 and editing chapter 47 so! That means I can see how a plotpoint I'm developing now will play out in the future and while I only have like two chapters of leeway rn, I usually keep it around 5 or 10 so I can edit back as much as needed as the fic progresses.

get to know your fic writer

(or ask me any questions you have lol)

[valleynix]

I dislike that I have to work and my body needs rest, I could spend that time on more important things which is reading about homosexuals.

A bit late after the premiere but I just finished the chapter.

1. What are they so cute for AAAAAAA

2. Is there a kink for that

3.

"Why were you ever afraid she, of all people, would have an adverse reaction to you not being human"

I wonder about the logic in that too

4. BIRD LUNATIC CONFIRMED AAAAAAAA 🐥

(bird Lunatic interacting with Dani would be like that one scene when Aurora meets Diaval and calls him pretty bird, all smiley)

5. "I am… conflicted"

*gasps*

6. Googling that pink flower meaning for Lunny

7. Poor little bird they just want mama to love them but she doesn't give a damn :(

They're so sad and miserable, I want to hug them pls. They need hugs and therapy <\3

8. "Bela stands with her aunt by the fireplace"

❗❗❗❗

Naur this little scene was so sweet please. Why are you making everyone be so soft with everyone. I am at my limits. The power of a forehead kiss. PLEASE

🥹🥹🥹

And I think these two can get along really well. like Bela is a quiet kid and she's not as chaotic as her sisters so they can spend some peaceful time together. And Bela has a lot on her plate and there are things she can't talk about with Alcina and those she wouldn't like to share with Dani or Cass. And it's not like she has friends there.

So having someone like Donna would definitely be a great help to soothe her nerves and anxiety and she could find support in her :(

Crying over them.

9. <Cassandra scoffs and moves toward her aunt. “What, none for me?”>

CASSANDRA GETTING A KISS WHEN

I bet if Daniela was there she wouldn't let Donna live peacefully until she got kisses too.

10. SCREAMING

I love how Cass can be so bold at the begging and tease the shit out of them but then she's like idk what's next🧍

😭😭😭

(Rel tbh)

11. Please I love her so much, she's literally so perfect oh my goddess

12.

DANIELA

I swear my whole soul lights up just by a mere mention of her.

BUT IT TURNED UNHOLY SO FAST

Reading it now was such a bad idea. Bad idea. How am I supposed to peacefully go to sleep now??????

AFTER THAT???

THE BITE

OH MY LADY

And what do they mean they think they love her. I sure as hell do love her pls she's so precious.

13. Dani getting so much and Bela poor thing still getting nothing of Reader 😭 I think she should get them alone with her when Cass and Dani are out of the castle because IT'S ALWAYS CASSANDRA INTERRUPTING I SWEAR

14. Another lovely chapter. Well for most of the part because there are sus things. I wonder what that other version of Reader was talking about and I fear it... Don't have a brain for it now to look for symbolism and hints, might go back later but shit is about to go down, doesn't it 😭 But we'll see. Excited to find out how Reader's stay at Donna's place will go. And to read more about her. I'm also curious about Angie pls I think she might be a little annoying demon.

And literally even with all the pain and angst this story contains it's so comforting in a way, please. Gotta repeat myself over and over with this but I love it so much how the characters are so sweet to one another and this chapter was full of it as well ❤

who needs work or rest when you have homosexuals 😒😒 (please take care of yourself 😭)

1. HEHEHE I LOVED WRITING THIS SCENE, Alcina is so soft for them </3

2. the kink is just Alcina. that’s it

3. listen it’s a reasonable fear-

4. CROW!LUNATIC IS CANON ‼️

(i need to go rewatch that scene just to remember it vividly)

5. ITS HAPPENINGGGGGG

6. i have the meaning up somewhere on my computer if you can’t find it 😭

7. THIS SCENE HURT ME SO MUCH TO WRITE BUT GODDDDD I LOVE THEM, it literally makes me cry thinking about the tragedy of their character :(

8. the way you got it perfectly- like Bela doesn’t really think she can trust anyone to tell them about her problems (save for maybe Reader), but Donna can be like that for her :( it’s nice to see the poor girl finally de-stressing a little and getting to talk about things that bother her. i like to think they may send letters back and forth and Donna helps her anxieties and let’s her vent

9. Daniela 100% gets little head bonks from Donna as well as kisses (she initiated and Donna can’t help but smile as her niece just lightly smacks against her head)

10. CASS IS SO FUNNY SKFHSKFJSJD I LOVE HER, she’s got the teasing down but had NO idea what she’s supposed to do when the other person is actually into it

11. GRRRRRR SHE TINGLES MY BRAIN PLS

12. DANIELA IS SO DIDBSKDBSKF RRRRRRR I LOVE HER SM, LITERALLY MY FAV FRUIT FLY. she’s so sweet and precious and i just RRRRRRRRRRR

13. i have some plans for Bela getting her time >:3

14. AAAAAAAA IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT, honestly i get kinda nervous when y’all who give me analyses write me one 😭 like i’m genuinely so afraid THIS chapter will be the one that makes you like “ehhh dropped” EVEN THO IT NEVER IS-

please reading those last two parts literally made my night, i’m so happy. i’m gonna start steadily working on the next chapter since school ends this thursday (yay!) and i should be able to actually post regularly :3

BUT YOU BETTER BE TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF OR ELSE 😠😠

[silvermuffins]

Okay so. Here we go! God I am. So checking hyped. Oh man. I can barely make myself get started. Little bit nervous since the person whose liveblogs made me want to do the same follows me now (hi!) but eeeeeeeeeeee

Y'all gotta understand p3 made me who I am. It has been personality-defining in several ways for ten years. I have rarely felt quite as loved as the day the announcement leaked and like four different people independently came to me like Letty did you see

In the true spirit of Akihiko Sanada, I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

Okay let's dive in,,,,,

New theme song! I'm gonna miss the toast but i will give this a chance.

New visuals, stellar ones, really driving in that shit's fucked

Idk how that poll is gonna end so I'll start with just Some Thoughts at a time and then we'll see where we're going

Oh shit difficulty... Let's do normal to start. Fuck no I am not doing merciless. But I want some challenge.

Oh the opening movie is a little different....and they're letting me play already!

They are doing my boy right so far,,,, but yukari may take some getting used to. Also they pronounce iwatodai different and that will DEFINITEly take getting used to. Definitely some iykyk in there.

I am examining EVERYTHING. My guy walks fast tho goddamn. Can no longer run with hands in pockets. RIP hand/pockets.

If y'all could hear the noises I am making,,,,

THERE HE IS! THE BOY!

Shit do I have to enter the name in eastern order or is western fine? /Google/ Reddit says western! Minato Arisato walks again.

They did that contract-with-spooky-child scene pretty well despite it not still being an anime cutscene. I can accept it.

Oh she didn't point the gun at me this time. Which is less dramatic but DOES make more sense overall. I can accept it.

Once again the Noises I am making. Y'all. I am living. Checked in on that poll, so far one big post later on is winning so I'll keep at it for now!

How does this rewind thing work exactly...? Is it for like, if I fuck up a social link?

Menu looks like diving into water. All my water associations for Minato have been justified. Got he's so beautiful I'm gonna cry. "My reflection looks tired" yeah I bet it does you depresso espresso you.

Apparently there is or will be dlc of some sort! I will almost certainly obtain it.

Starting school! Wow they expanded that cutscene. Eeeeeeee. Yes I like this. It feels like home got a fresh coat of paint. It's gonna take me forever to get anything done. God. I'm. Okay give me a little while to just run around doing nonsense.

VOICED SOCIAL LINKS CONFIRMED it already was but I'm thrilled anyway

My boy is already curious about sewing. Don't worry, Minty, we will be spending so much time with a certain someone. Ooh, seems he has a decent sense of smell... Aha, there a certain someone is! So very French...

Okay, game, you win, I'll make progress. Hi, Toriumi, yes I have a tragic backstory.

Minato just `why are people keep talking to me`. Suck it up boy we're gonna meet EVERYBODY.

New VA for Junpei is great so far. I'm so glad. The previous one was a case of how truly unfortunate it is that garbage people can be good at things. But so far, the characters are sounding great!

Yukari you are not subtle. Here I am trying to cover for you and you just give Junpei the wrong idea.

"No one takes rumors seriously, anyway." Stares directly into the camera. Stares in P2 familiarity. Stares. I do not remember if this line was in the original but S T A R E S.

Getting junpei's two cents on everything and. God it makes me so happy every time a familiar song kicks in.

Doodedoo, 'splorin.

Mmkay back to the dorm. We can actually explore the kitchen? Fridge space? Can't use the kitchen yet? DO I GET TO MAKE COOKING MINTY A REALITY?

I don't have tons of commentary right now that isn't best expressed as a bunch of vague satisfied noises and squeals in a higher range than the human ear can detect. Or by wiggling furiously, which doesn't come across well in text. Know that I am wiggling furiously. Everyone looks so good. Everyone sounds so good. I'm so happy.

Okay so it's not fully fully voiced. But still! So happy.

I know it's just Like This but the game just railroading me slightly feels like AGH STOP TAKING AN HOUR TO DO ANYTHING well stop having do much to examine them (please don't stop)

Ikutsuki is here! And oh his voice,,,,,

Weeps in playing as IC as possible demanding skipping a question. Ah well. I know how I interpret my boy and that brings me joy.

Time for stuff to get creepy! Eeeeeeee. Guys I cannot wait for how they're going to show some of the freakier things. ...oh well. This cutscene with the guy going all gloopy and collapsing definitely loses a little something by being in-game rather than fully animated. Damn the way they showed it in the original was so much scarier. Ah well, can't win 'em all, I guess.

Aaaaaa is that Yukino being referenced on TV? Was she on Who's Who before? Yukino <3

It's tiiiiime for the first full moon. Come on, Reload, you can't drop the ball on this one...! Come on, wow me! Blow me away!

Oh hey justification that sleep is probably less effective during the dark hour to go along with the standard stamina drain. Neat! Love getting my head canons confirmed. That said, also enough room for other interpretations. You love to see it.

Really like this just collapsing on the bed thing. Shaking it up! Ftr it's like super creepy that they have a camera and what looks like fucking heart monitor on Minato. But I am here for the creepy. And there goes the attack and Akihiko getting hurt and Yukari sent to escape with me.

Ohhhh please let me swap weapons around. Don't lock me into just swords. I want hammer.

I know it's all panic and scary RN but that kind of just makes it hilarious that I can still examine everything. Poor Yukari just dealing with Minato not being freaked at all.

HNNNNNN THEY DID NOT FUMBLE. I didn't think they would because like, out of everything, they've gotta get the Awakening right! But still! Hoodamn!

BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY BABY

Oooh so the tutorial mara DID split off as scraps of the Magician! Huh so this is the battle interface...ngl I kinda miss the revolver menu, that was good shit. And now we go splat.

Igor: STOP BEING A BAG OF SOGGY POTATO CHIPS AND MAKE FRIENDS

One week later,

Backstory storytime with Yukari! I am a protagonist and thus a designated therapist. I am absolutely the person to pay your parental issues on. Never mind that Persona 2 firmly established the existence of actual therapists in this universe.

God. I'm gonna cry. My beautiful boy,,,,, I missed this so much. I'm a goddamn broken record. I said numerous times that I'm completely incapable of being normal about this. Fuck I'm tearing up.

Yes, Junpei. An upset stomach. That's definitely what kept me out of school for a week.

Mr. Ono just wants to talk about his special interest and he is so valid. Please tell me everything about samurai.

Real talk there had to be so many rumors and gossip about Minato. New transfer student - already a hot topic. Walks to school with Yukari on his first day, to stir the pot. After like three days he's suddenly absent for a week. Like, there's no way people didn't talk, right?

??? THAT's new. "Twilight Shard" on my bed making me feel like Legend of Zelda came to visit. Unless that's what we're calling plumes of dusk now.

I think they've given Ikutsuki even more puns. I join the team with very little convincing because supernatural danger isn't something to be leery of at all.

Nor are spooky little boys no one else can see who appear to me in the middle of the night bearing cryptic warnings of impending doom. I give him a good ol' doudemoii and go back to sleep.

Junpei joins the team! We support a guy willing to admit he was crying on the ground.

Trying to remember to report what's actually happening in the game, too. Don't wanna assume everybody is already familiar. I do wanna convince anyone who isn't to become familiar though. Anyway yes Junpei this is a thing we don't talk about. Except when we do, out in public.

Ooooh please don't fumble this bit! Tartar sauce! I am almost through the intro! ...wait I don't think THIS happened before? What's going on? Why are we delayed? ...oh. Oh that's, uh, bad. So for those who don't know, death and suicide are major topics of discussion in this game. You have been warned.

People jumping onto the tracks is not something I recall though... Maybe they're just driving in Apathy Syndrome as a major problem? Or I just plain forgot since, y'know, ten years. But I have reviewed since then... Junpei I would love to secret late night menu with you but we have an intro to get through.

Okay! Tartarus! ...they could have made that weirder. Less euclidean. But I can accept it. Wheeee dungeon crawling time! Oh fuck the menu is so stylish. I love it. Okay, time to kill things. Oooh, Tartarus looks good! Hate-love how it almost looks like it's breathing or something, real uncanny. Love the falling black feathers.

I wonder if they're keeping the condition system... I guess I'll find out! Oh, All Our Attacks are so nice.... We get finishing touches! Done and dusted! ....shuffle time doesn't do any shuffling anymore? Ohhh I guess Twilight Fragments are basically keys...

Doodedoo more tutorials. Someday I'll be free. I am getting kinda tired though...

Drags Junpei all over town to examine everything. Meanwhile the bgm sings "my life will turn out to be so cruel"...yeah because Junpei stops me from going to every restaurant. Hm, based on these police station offerings, I think I might be stuck with just swords, which is a little bit bullshit. Unless versatility is something I unlock later?

Come to think of it, Kurosawa probably has a heck of a story, if he knows shit's fucky but not what's going on... What are these personal connections of his? And how did the kirijo group get in touch with him?

....wait what's this about only the track and field team accepting new members? I know it makes the most sense, but I wanna swim! Are they going to force-track me?

Hm... I thiiiink I'm gonna just study in the library. I have no money to put toward anything else, and if things are the same academics is a bitch to max out.

It is now 3 am and my head hurts, so I'm gonna wrap it up here for tonight!

[cringelordofchaos]

ok thanks @sobeksewerrat now I'm having an existential crisis again lmao,.. (/lh also thanks for making me more self aware again ? )

list of things I do that MAY be associated with ADHD and or autism.

MAY,

I don't know if I have it, in not diagnosed and no one has professionally suggested I might have it.

I made a list to organize all my thoughts and I genuinely hate the fact that I'm oversharing shit online again bc i almost never think of consequences of my actions so idk if ke oversharing is bad or good and shit now I'm anxious.

ANYGAY.

Many of these traits are not exclusive to being neurodivergent at all, I'm aware o just wanted to share my experience

Either way it doesn't really matter. ADHD doesn't really get diagnosed here often. And not many specialize in it. So what do I know

List under the cut (it is probably going to be a bit long)

I possibly stim,

I chew things constantly for example, I used to chew my shirts so much a year or two ago and all my clothes had holes bc of that. It got so bad to the point of my mom buying me a fucking pacifier. I learned how to cope by just biting my tongue or just moving my mouth in general but it sometimes hurts not having anythig to bite. When I was really young, like in elementary school, I would bite and eat my own hair and would of fucking course cough bc of it. It was all an automatic involuntary actions. I also used to bite my arm to the point of it getting red. And would always bite my fingers to the point of them bleeding. I still do this, a lot actually, and it's very visible.,it's automatic and I hate it. It's like, I NEED to bite something right fuckinf now or I can't stay alive no more. It used to be worse, I would chew ANYTHING THAT WAS IN FROMT OF ME. I started a COLLECTION of chewed up pencils. Bc whenever they got near my mouth I would chew them. Which is BADDD IF YOU CAN XONTROL IT PLS DOJT DO THISSSS . I never did this because I was anxious or nervous, I just did it bc... I existed ?? Idk whenever I try to Google it up all the results say it's a sign of anxiety but for me it's just a symptom of existing). Whenever I feel anxious, (for example when I have to pass by a human being when getting to my apartment, and then they greet me and I greet them back but I feel like I did it incorrectly somehow and they hate me and think I'm incompetent/.>.gen), I flap my hands a lot (privately + primarily voluntarily) bc i feel just so much anxiety, I'm sure this is normal though. I also flap my hands a lot when I'm happy too. I do this moreso privately but sometimes it's a bit involuntary. When I'm really happy (usually about a wentoon lmao) I do a little dance and flap my hands and it actually feels pretty involuntary because if I DONT get up instantly and get into action it feels very suffocating. I pace around constantly, when thinking to myself I'll just walk In circle for long, sometimes I will just walk in a circle for literal hours. Usually I will move my hands in a weird motion . I rub my fingers against each other also to the point of visible and obvious injury. I don't know how to stop this. I constantly shake my leg though it's really common in neurotypical ppl so I should probably not be making a big deal out of this. There's probably more. Either way it's ,mostly harming to me lmao. But there's also the good in it ig

Okay actually it might take too long to organize everything and explain my whole life story so erm

I get distracted easily, or it's hard for me to pay attention to things I don't really care about, such as school (or moreso it's education system, since I can get actually pretty interested in private lessons) among other things. It's proven to be quite detrimental to me and my grades, to the point of me requiring multiple private classes to not fail a whole class, overall I'm just pretty much incapable of paying attention to stuff like that, but I'm pretty sure it's normal. And deficits in attention has been proven to be a result of modern day technology addiction among many youngsters, myself included, so I do not view this as necessary proof, especially seeing as I am actually capable of paying attention with good teachers in private lessons covering everything slowly enough. So yeah, essays over I am probably neurorypixal

either way

I get really obsessive over the things I'm interested in, I am not sure if they are hyperfixations but many times they get so genuinely intense they are the only thing I can think about. Genuinely. Once while trying to study history, for example, I just couldn't focus on learning history, not because it was uninteresting but because I was thinking of a fictional relationship (Roblox flicker mason x aadiv) and angst and fluff potential. I tried thinking Abt other things but I COULDNT. Also another short example: I once tried reading a book, and even though I could usually read it I just watched the finale of TMF and I literally could not NOT think about drew. just drew. I would try reading a sentence but then my brain would tell me how much I love drew. Goddamn it. This is a regular occurrence and has been proven to be detrimental to my life regarding it's real of my education. Focus on class? No, I can't, I'm trying to draw a symbol for a fictional religion me and my online friend made up. Focus on studying? No, k can't, I have to watch my favorite YouTuber or no, I can't, I have to daydream about being a YouTuber. These obsessions usually last a few weeks or months or so, so not too long, but usually for at least a week, to the point of it merely being mentioned gets me EXTREMELY hyped up. Sonic was probably my longest obsession, consistently lasting for about a year. If not flamingo (YouTube) who I was obsessed with for two years and based my whole personality off of back in the day. Sleep? No, I can't, I have to research neurodivegence. Hang the clothes? No, I can't, I have to pace around the room and think about the whole entire graspable depth of the relationship between Sean and daisy, as well as Sean's character alone and many implications surrounding his existence. I think y'all get the gist. Oh also I was once obsessed with TOH so much I literally knew so much Abt it and was so obsessed with it and if you gave me a line I could instantly tell you from which episode it was and I HUGELY related to Luz who's canonically neurodivergent and implied to have ADHD. This could all just me being passionate or obsessive thoug

Poor memory; I'm pretty sure this is the case buster, I lose things all the goddamn time it's actually traumatized me ti this point, losing a sharpener will get me having a whole breakdown screaming crying for an hour straight. Forgetting tests n stuff too, or forgetting ti check my to-do list Every . Single. Goddamn time.again this could probably stem from overuse of digital devices and electronics. So.

Oversensitivity to surroundings; aka possible sensory issues. I am pretty sensitive to noise, usually light too and smoke, and while I thought my reactions to surroundings were pretty normal (covering my ears, mouth, or squinting my eyes), upon observation I have noticed others do not do the things I do. Which is odd. How are they not suffering?? Anyway, sometimes I get overwhelmed so I etiehr try to ignore it or I escape. Literally. At times, things are louder and messier and more confusing and irritating. Also for food it's to a lesser degree but *lately* there's this food I forgot what it was called in English and chewing on it feels so utterly disgusting to the point where I'll cry bc the texture is just so extremely horrible and I literally spit it out of my window bc i didn't want my parents to see me not eating it. Bit then again I was able to eat the same food but bought from a different place, idk

Emotional disregulation; this could really just be me being a teenager, with hormones - you know how either you could have "two modes" you either feel like a GOD and everything is AMAZING or EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE AND YOU WANT TO DIE?? Those extreme emotions?? Well, at least according to my kom, it's a pretty normal process of puberty, so I should probably not pay it much mind. This goes out to my "possible" rsd (I say possible bc like while I'm unsure for being nd, there's no fucking way I don't have rsd...) I get extremely, extremely sensitive when it comes to any form of treatment k get that I could perceive as rejection, and many times I avoid any form of social interactions just for the sake of not being rejected in the slightest. My friend called me stuojd as a joke without tone indicators? I WILL have a breakdown abt it and I WONT communicate it to my friend bc i don't wanna disappoint them or make them feel like it's their fault. I'm really insecure and probably feel this way due to my childhood. Though, feelings of emberassment guilt or rejection sre in most cases common due to natural instincts, y'know, we couldn't have survived without communities, which practically the modern day brain translates rejection = death. Except there's not a real physical threat. Yada yada y'all know Abt this. So I don't think this proves anything, it's just a natural instinct I suppose, though idk if many ppl experience it as often and strongly as I do or if they just never talk about it. Sometimes I will get the lightest criticism ever and I WILL cry Abt it unless it was absolutely clear it was a joke lmao. And I always feel like things are super targeted at me even when they're not. Ive had so much breakdowns over this it's not funny.

Sleep issues: I am writing this as 1 AM is approaching. Need I say more.

Physical hyperactivity: see "stimming" section. I can't exist without moving unless I am asleep.

Mental hyperactivity??: sometimes my brain will be so loud my ears will genuinely hurt, don't ask how this works I actually don't know, it's in a rarer occasion however.

Resting bitch face: I've had people ask me so, so so often if I was sad or okay or ANGRY when I was feeling completely neutral. And they always say how I look angry. But I don't get it. But whatevs. I guess it just comes naturally, idk why. Maybe everyone else has a resting bitch face too and they just never rest idkk

Fuck I'm doing the finger thing rn it hurts so goddamn much

Anyway

Executive dysfunction?? Sometimes I feel like I literally can't physically do stuff and it takes me a ton of effort to get into a shower and I cry each time for reasons unknown. Though ut could just be me being s teenager and yearning for feelings of independence and control bc it's a normal thing for ppl experiencing puberty. But then again I don't see anyone else being like me except my brother who's in elementary school

I have taken online quizzes, I KNOW ITS NOT A RELIABLE SOURCE AT ALL, I just took them to see the results and also bc i wanted to research neurodivegence more and on literally all the quizzes I took over the years, all the time (except once I think) I got "you probably have ADHD". I know it doesn't prove anything and online quizzes don't take ones life context into account but I feel as if it is a BIT worth noting?

Possible meltdowns ?? Idk. I don't want to make it seem like it's a lesser deal than it is bc it's not. But for example once I accidentally left bread crumbs on my bed and my mom got really anxious and started yelling at me a bit and I was crying and covered my ears and started SCREAMING and did not get over it for a while. I frequently experience (like every day or two) periods of time where I am just on the floor or in my bed extremely anxious sad and yelling over the most genuinely minor experiences

*Possible* intrusive thoughts - (TW VIOLENCE) whenever I think of an embarrassing or cringe memory when I feel like I somehow screwed up a tiny bit my mind instantly makes me think of me peeling off the skin off of my head and it bleeding, or my arm being chopped off into two parts. Many times I will look at the window and get anxious thinking what if I just threw my most prized possession through there. Also happened once when my mom was standing in front of it and my mind made me think "what if I yelled and she fell you would be a horrible person wouldn't you". Also I sometimes think of DISGUSTING sexual thoughts and they pop up randomly and I don't like it. Anyway I'm not sure if these r by definition intrusive thoughts but they're involuntary and annoying and correct me if I'm wrong

Comfort item - dude I used to bring this plushie everywhere with me for years until I stopped and just put him in a special place so he wouldn't accidentally get damaged. I literally could not live without holding him. Like some super emotional attachment. Sometimes I talk to him. I also realized that when I wasn't holding something in my hand my hands felt too empty and suddenly I had to move them in weird ways (see stimming section for reference) so maybe that's why

I don't have a special interest (smth I was UTTERLY OBSESSED W MULTIPLE YEARS) so ig that crosses out the possibility of me being autistic

I also constantly hc my fav characters as neurodiverse and hen proceed to self project onto them and I constantly daydream about making YouTube videos Abt the theories of them being neurodiverse. Idk why I brought this up

Weird (emotional) empathy ? If someone is crying in front of me I'll probably feel genuinely nothing but anxious bc i WANT to help them feel better but idk how to and other times I get super empathetic with fictional characters or people seen on screen. Idk why I feel like a terrible person for this sometimes. I'll also feel bad for Minecraft trees and having to cut them but that's sympathy not empathy. As for cognitive empathy though it's pretty normal and my mom has noted I'm pretty good at it ?

Genetics: my sister is probably questioning it and sorts acts like it and goes to a psychologist, my mom has said she thinks she might have ADHD once out loud, my brother also watches some YouTube videos Abt ADHD and has been to a psychologist once, none are diagnosed but many speculate it, coincidence? Unsure

That's all I can think of for now

Bye

God why did I post this erughhhhh

[pathetichimbos]

I NEED TO MAKE ANOTHER REQUEST YOUR WRITING IS AMAZING I LOVE IT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA 💕💕💕💕💕💕

I have two ideas you can pick you or both or just do whatever you want with them - leave them for a different story idc it's your writing.

Option 1

This kinda involves a sort of crossover? I love the anime Attack on Titan. My favorite character is Annie Leonhart and I love her fighting style, her self defense training is amazing so I was wondering the slashers with an s/o who fought back tremendously well with her sort of hand to hand combat? Idk

Option 2

Sorta similar with option 1 but - the reader is a Titan shifter. The Jaw Titan so they aren't too op? You know?.

shinzou wo sasageyo

Fight Back

Includes: Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Bubba Sawyer, Thomas Hewitt, Brahms Heelshire

SFW

TW: Violence, Mentions of Murder, Active Physical Fighting

…

HI OKAY so I went with option one because like

i've only seen like two episodes of aot

SO I googled her fighting style and just,,,, went for it? It's a bit on the shorter side, but if you want it longer just lmk and I'll fix it!

I always wasn't sure if you like wanted them to survive and become friends or more or idk but I did that because, personally, i would rather die than not befriend them that's a joke pls don't arrest me

enJOOOOY--

Freddy Krueger:

Freddy is confused, like actually stunned

"???? Did you just kick me in my Face?????? Instead of Dying????????"

He's never met anyone like you before, and you definitely catch his attention

Honestly, your fighting style is one of the reasons he decides to spare you

Oh yea cuz you could Totally take them, Fred

At first, he's going to fight you, and he's not going to go easy on you, he wants to push your limits and see how far you can go

But, he's also not much of a fighter, so he'll definitely get creative

I stg if you bring out Super Freddy again I'm going to Jump

After he's had his fill of getting his ass kicked

Freddy will tap out, "Alright kid, 'noughs enough, stop with that shit."

Please, give him one more kick for me

All in all, Freddy will be jealous of your skills, and want to 'fight' all the time

No, Y/N, it's not so he can practice, why would you think that!? He would never stoop so low as to ask for fighting advice, come on

*insert eye roll, and having to teach him anyways*

Michael Myers:

Michael, love him, but he's not good at hand to hand combat either

Take away his knife and he's pretty useless in a fight

Unless you count being an unfeeling human shield

Kidding! He has feelings

If he has his knife though, expect a few cuts, he's pretty skilled

He's definitely impressed with your skills, but don't push your luck

If he decides to spare you, don't take it lightly, if you try to keep fighting he won't hesitate to finish you off

If you relent as well though, he'll start showing up more, especially when you get into a fight, he loves observing your skills from a distance

Prepare to be stalked everywhere you go, eventually just having to give in and let it happen

He's not gonna stop Y/N, and you have no one to blame but yourself

Jason Voorhees:

Jason's encountered good fighters before, but he can definitely handle his own

*flashback to the manhattan movie*

He's definitely impressed though, not a lot of people can actually hold their own against him

Keep the fight up long enough and he'll give in and accept defeat

Especially if you weren't trying to do any serious damage and just protect yourself

If you visit the lake after that, he won't try to hurt you, he'll just watch from a distance

And maybe, after a Long while, he'll approach you in a kind tone

But let's be real here, you'll have to go to him

Once the two of you are on good terms, he'll be more comfortable using more of his strength, knowing how strong you are

Please offer to teach him, Y/N!!! He'd be so happy!!!!

Bubba Sawyer:

Bubba is so confused

Nobody has ever actually kicked his (not on) chainsaw from his hands

He's actually kind of scared to fight you after that

He always uses his chainsaw!!!! What's he supposed to do now???

He'll give in rather quickly, please show mercy, he's scared of you

His brothers will think your skills are pretty cool, and the twins will definitely want you to teach them some moves

Bubba will be anxious the entire time

Don't get hurt, Y/N!!! Oh, watch out for that lamp!!!! Why can't you three practice outside TT

Drayton will respect you for being able to hold your own, but will definitely get upset with how many items you break fighting with the twins

"Goddamnit, what the hell did I tell you three about fighting in the house!?"

*que a three hour lecture that will do absolutely nothing to stop any of you*

Thomas Hewitt:

Thomas, like most of these guys (not looking at you freddy), is a big guy, and he normally relies on that and his chainsaw to take care of victims

So when he comes across someone who can handle their own against him???

He's very impressed by it

Don't tell anyone I said this, but he finds it very entertaining watching you absolutely destroy Hoyt in the front yard

After he realizes how strong you are, he's not really interested in fighting anymore

Especially now that he's in a good mood (totally not because of Hoyt getting his ass kicked)

Luda Mae is more accepting of you when Thomas insists you join the family

"We can always use someone strong such as yourself to help out around here."

Hoyt is not happy with it, but hey, I don't respect his existence, so he doesn't get a say so

Brahms Heelshire:

Brahms starts crying

Like deadass, he's so upset he's not getting his way

Greta wasn't strong, he could easily overpower her into getting what he wants, but you? You could actually fight back and that makes him mad

He's not going to fight you, instead he'll pout until you apologize

When you do, he'll accept it rather quickly and get excited, begging you to teach him some moves

And please, for the love of God, if the two of you play fight, please let him win, it will make him so happy

[oleander-grows]

Can't stop thinking about your Irm girl, got any other tidbits about her?

irmgard essex (who i love dearly) was my pc in a fallout ttrpg run by @corsairesix (erin my beloved) and put aside bc of irl stuff. the game took place in new orleans and like holy shit. it was so good. erin is so deeply talented and i love her. i actually have a tag for the game, though it's pretty short. it was a homebrew system and like. god it was so fucking good. i also don't feel bad about sharing the google doc that's her character sheet lol. it's got some notes about her and stuff

here is an incomplete list of things irmgard esseks has done:

one time the party went into a super duper mart to get a single shopping cart. (we needed it for transporting a people maker tube) of course we got attacked by ghouls and out of the 6 of us, irmgard was the only fucking person who landed a single shot, and was the one who dealt with it. it was a moment that really solidified her role in the group for me, she suddenly realized she had a reason to exist. i still bring up about how i was the only one who landed a shot in that fight

basically had 0 personality at the start of the game. it'd been like 4 years since the institute kicked it and she stopped internalizing a lot of what she learned there. i think her thought process was "well maybe other synths don't go insane and crazy living like this but i have and i'm not a real person like those other synths"

eventually her personality became "i would die for by best friend dacian and sweet caroline, because she is very nice"

dacian is a pskyer and she didn't believe he could read minds and blast his thoughts into other people's heads. he proved he was able to and she decided to not believe it like it was some kind of religious thing.

she had 0 opinions about another party member, sylvester "the lonesome" but her existence made him feel insecure about his place on the team, especially after she looted a pipboy off a dude she killed. (he was the only one who had a pipboy before that.)

it was INCREDIBLY funny bc he was so jelous that she's like 6'3 and built like an action hero and meanwhile she's like "wow i'm so good at acting like a human. everyone here thinks i am a normal human. i am getting a good grade in being normal which is possible to achieve and normal to want"

sylvester was the only person in the party who wasn't keenly aware of how fucked up she was and pretending not to notice

one time got banned from the actual city of downtown new orleans bc she killed a guard, wore his uniform, snuck into the jail, and broke out one of sweet caroline's neighbors. this ended up getting everyone banned from new orleans aside from hannah.

one time the party found a terminal in an abandoned outpost that was filled with dirt on the current mayor/dictator of their favorite town. she made a fake email account and sent everyone who owned a computer in that town a zip file of all those documents. no one knew aside from the party and like 2 other people knew she did it

also thought that a good way to sabotage the current mayor was to find some random ass child and pay that kid to lie and say they're the biological child of the mayor and the product of an affair, and the mayor chose to leave his own flesh and blood on the streets to save face.

according to the stats, she's one of the smartest members of the party.

this is the only fiction i've ever written about her, and i've never bothered to uploaded it but it's her back when she was just X6-33 and killing people for the institute. she had more of a personality then bc she was secure in her place as being simply a weapon and nothing else

she picked the last name “essex” because it was close sounding to her designation of X6

lately we've been kicking around the idea of like. what would our characters been like 5 years later and this is her! she is butch and has resolved all her issues around the concept of her being a person! idk maybe she helps the railroad now. dacian and her have nail painting sessions though

[yesttoheaven]

I SEE YOU – chapter IV

pairing – arthur fleck x female!reader

wc – 2.3k

warnings – idk... misty being a b*tch with arthur?

a/n – hi everyone! I hope you are well because I'm brazilian and I cannot say the same lol the president is a piece of shit and he can't rule the country in the middle of a pandemic (not even without the pandemic, in fact)

anyway enjoy the chapter!

English is not my first language. I am getting help from google translator and he is not always a good ally, so I apologize for any typos or grammar errors.

Y/N – your name

chapter one. chapter two.

chapter three. chapter four.

"What are you doing here, Misty?" The surprise was notable in Y/N's words.

Many people could walk through that door, but Misty was definitely not one of them.

"I should ask you the same question..." The woman came over and put her hands on the actress' shoulders, smiling amiably. "But we don't have time for that right now. You have a dinner to go! And it is not right to keep a man like Charles waiting."

"Charles?" Arthur asked, trying to find a way to join the conversation. "Is he also an actor?"

After these simple words, the redhead burst out laughing and Arthur didn't understand what he had done wrong this time. He was just curious and a little interested to know who was the man who had a date with Y/N that night.

"Actor? God, have you never heard of Charles Lewis Tiffany?" Misty questioned how if the fact that Arthur didn’t know the man was an offense to humanity and Arthur just shook his head, too embarrassed to say anything else.

Who the hell was this man? The Pope? And why did Y/N have a dinner with Pope?

"It's okay, Arthur." Always so graceful, the actress reassured him and left Misty's side to be close to him. "Charles owns Tiffany & Co., the one that appears in the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's... Have you watched this movie before?"

"Oh, oftentimes!"

"Me either! And now Charles wants me to be the face of his new collection! I'm so excited, he came to Gotham just to follow it up in person!" The happiness shining in her eyes was contagious, but Misty didn’t like seeing Y/N squeeze the man’s arm gently.

"I hate to have to do this... the conversation is so pleasant, but we have to go, mon cher." With a smile, Y/N's manager adjusted the bag on her shoulder. She wanted to take the actress away from this freak as soon as possible.

"You cannot go without the VHS tape." Arthur objected, receiving a death glare from Misty, but the only thing that mattered to him was Y/N. "I'll get this for you." After these words, the man left the living room with a reason to make her stay a little longer in his apartment.

"Well, I think we're going to have to wait." Y/N shrugged, but inside she was beaming.

Feeling her mouth dry, she picked up the glass of water on the table, but that was her worst mistake.

"What are you doing? Don't drink this! That dirty glass is full of germs!" The glass was snatched from her hand and Y/N looked at Misty in disbelief.

"That glass is not dirty, Misty."

"How can you be sure of that? I heard that the Narrows sewer is one of the worst in Gotham!"

"Thanks for the lesson, but that didn’t come from the Narrows sewer. This water is from the kitchen tap."

"Oh my God..." The actress could have sworn that the woman's face turned green and she would vomit at any moment. "Why did you drink this? You'll be sick!"

Before Y/N had a chance to respond to these insanities, someone called her. She ran over to the bag and took out her cell phone. It was Charles.

"Hey, Charles! It's good to talk to you." On the other side, all she received were strange noises. The man's voice was being cut off and it was difficult to understand. "The connection is awful..."

"Why am I not surprised? Narrows is the end of the world!" Misty commented, rolling her eyes.

Without time for this discussion, Y/N said:

"Maybe in the corridor I will get a better signal."

"Be careful, you don't know what kind of neighbors there are in this place." She warned, listening to the door open and close, but Y/N said nothing.

Alone in the living room, Misty had the same disgusted look as when she arrived. For her this apartment is small even for an ant and this wallpaper is ridiculous, but in the midst of so much poverty, something on the couch attracted her attention.

"What do we have right here? I don't believe he has a diary..." The woman whispers to herself, laughing, after picking up Arthur's journal. She knew it was wrong, but she was bored.

The first few pages were OK, he had a shitty life like any other unfortunate person, but what came next scared the hell out of her. Misty knew there was something wrong with this man. The instant she saw him, she knew, but that... those words... were from a sick person. Arthur was a disgusting pervert. The redhead needed a moment to breathe and then she saw the magazines on the table and an scissors...

Oh no. He intends to include Y/N in this depravity show!

"I finally found." With bright eyes, Arthur looked for Y/N in the living room, but all he found was Misty... and his journal. "W-What... What are you d-doing?"

"Stay away from me!" She exclaimed, backing away for fear that he would do something against her. "I swear, if you get close I'll scream so loud and when Y/N comes through that door, I will tell her your little secret. She will be so disappointed, but she will finally find out who you really are... A perv!"

"N-No, please... You got it wrong." He tried, his voice taking on a desperate tone. Arthur didn't want to lose the actress's friendship. She was too important for him. "I c-can explain."

"Oh, can you explain? You will glue Y/N's head to a cat's body and then you will sit on that old sofa and touch yourself? You should be in Arkham! You're a sick person! I can't believe Y/N was alone with you..."

Arthur felt his stomach churning.

"You're wrong... I have a lot of respect for her. Y/N is special to me and I would never do something like that."

"I don't want to hear your excuses!" The woman threw the journal at him and Arthur cringed like a frightened dog. After hitting him on the back, the journal fell to the floor and when he saw those collages, he felt ashamed of himself. "Listen to me... I will say this only once: Stay away from her. It doesn’t matter what kind of fantasies you’ve created in your sick head, Y/N will not be a part of that. If I know that after today you keep talking to her, I'll call the police and when they find out you're a fucking perv, you will spend the rest of your days in Arkham." She warned with all the letters and threats, now it was up to him to choose to cooperate or not. This man is too old to play being a teenager. These images of naked women, these cats and those sad quotes in his journal prove just one thing. Maybe he's a sexual predator, but Misty wouldn't be here to find that out either. "Enjoy your pornography and leave Y/N alone. I hope I never see you again."

Arthur saw his world fall apart as soon as the redhead left his apartment with the worst assumptions about him. He was not a perverted monster. He would never touch Y/N without her consent and would never endanger her life. Never ever. Y/N was the only good thing about Gotham; she was a light at the end of the tunnel. So angelic and peaceful. Whenever she smiles, butterflies appear in his stomach and Arthur knows what these famous butterflies mean, but he doesn't know what those collages mean... If Y/N knew, she would probably be afraid of him.

In the corridor, the actress was trapped in a bubble, talking animatedly with Charles. The call had no specific reason, the man just wanted to make sure everything was fine for dinner that night.

"Okay... This is one of Gotham's best restaurants. Trust me, you will love the place!" She assured him, intending to make a good impression. It wasn't every day that she got a chance to dine with the genius behind Tiffany & Co. and represent that brand. This was an important step in her career. "Now I need to go, Charles. See you soon, bye!" Y/N hummed the ending, watching Misty approach where she was. "Why are you here?"

"It's just your friend's mom. She's not feeling very well..."

"Isn't Penny okay?" Concern crossed Y/N's face and she tried to get back to apartment 8J, but Misty took her arm, lying again:

"Y/N, don't be indiscreet. This is a family problem and Arthur is taking care of it." With those words, she guided the actress to the elevator, but Y/N kept looking at the door to Arthur's apartment. "You need to prepare for dinner... I chose a beautiful dress for you."

...

THREE DAYS LATER

"Put red on her lips... Don't forget the mascara... and on the cheeks use this blush... Not this one! The peach blush!"

It was possible to say that Charles Lewis Tiffany was taking the place of the makeup artist. The woman was losing patience, Y/N realized this, but he wanted to participate in every second of it. When she finished, Charles smiled, admiring Y/N's beauty through the mirror.

"You see? You're genuinely beautiful... I think I finally found my muse." The actress was flattered by the compliments and that reflected in her smile when Charles took a blue box, but this was not a simple blue box. This is the famous Tiffany Blue Box. "I want you to meet my new creation..." He opened the box, stealing Y/N's breath instantly. "Dramatically plunging down the decolletage, an incredible emerald-cut bicolor zoisite that shifts from violet-blue to purplish-red, depending on the angle. The pendant is over 48 carats and it's wrapped in a halo of baguette diamonds and suspended from a diamond rondelle chain of over 37 total carats."

"Oh Charles, this is absolutely beautiful. I'm speechless..." She confessed, watching him take the necklace and offer to put it around her neck. Y/N accepted immediately and when the pendant touched the white fabric of the dress, she smiled at the mirror.

"Diamonds are a girl's best friend" Charles whispered, eliciting a giggle from her. "Now I need to speak to the photographer, but take a few minutes to prepare yourself." The man smiled one last time and Y/N walked to the door, opening it for him. She took the opportunity to spy on what was happening on the other side and it was possible to say that there was a little sadness in her eyes.

"What are you looking for?" Misty's voice echoed and she closed the door quickly.

"Huh... nothing!"

The woman was checking the contract – something about image authorization – and when she took her eyes off the papers, she found Y/N with a half-hearted smile.

"Go ahead... Spill the tea."

Brian was probably smoking, so Misty was her only option.

"Arthur was busy these days, but he called me this morning... He looked nervous and said he would like to talk to me, so I invited him to accompany the photoshoot, but..."

"You did what?!" Misty left the chair, interrupting her. Not wanting to start a scene, the redhead looked at Dariela, the makeup artist, and said: "Get out." The woman immediately stopped organizing her makeup and ran out of the dressing room.

"Was that necessary?" Y/N asked, crossing her arms.

"And was it necessary to invite that maniac to come here too?"

"Jesus, Misty!" She walked to the other side of the dressing room. "Manic? Really?"

"I'm just telling the truth."

"Based on what? His bank account?"

"Based on his journal." Misty replied and the actress looked in her direction with a frown. Shaking her head, the redhead let out a bitter laugh before confessing: "He doesn't use it just to write jokes... I found a lot of pornography on those pages."

Y/N felt a little uncomfortable with that. Certain things do not need to be exposed... She didn't need to know about that part of Arthur's life and Misty just invaded his privacy.

"Well... many men consume pornography daily."

"Y/N, pornography is not the point here. He makes some weird collages... women with cat heads... skulls... one of these women was tied up in a compromising position... Can you see how problematic this is?" Misty was trying to open her eyes and consequently was scaring the actress, but that was not all. "I saw the magazines. That man will probably do the same to you... your face on the body of these naked women or on a cat's body! You have always been uncomfortable with the way men see you only as a sex symbol... and now Arthur is using you as a sex toy!"

"Stop! Just stop, okay?" Y/N demanded, using an edgy tone of voice. That was too much for her to assimilate. "You're saying this because you do not accept the idea of ​​Arthur being my friend! All that matters to you is status, but it doesn't matter to me! When are you going to let me live my own life?"

"This is not about social classes, this man is a pervert! I'm trying to protect you!"

"Enough, Misty!" That was enough to make the redhead shut up and Y/N found her way back to the mirror.

To complete the look, inside the blue box was a beautiful diamond ring and a pair of shiny round diamond earrings, just waiting for her. Putting on the ring was an easy task, but she couldn’t say the same about earrings; her hands were shaking and this is all the fault of the stress.

"Let me help you." The manager approached and at first Y/N refused her help, but after another failed attempt, she handed the earrings to the woman. "I know I can be a bitch sometimes..."

"Sometimes?"

Misty just sighed, shaking her head.

~~~~~~~▪~~~~~~~~~▪~~~~~~~~~▪~~~~~~~~~~

a/n – likes and reblogs are appreciated but honestly I’d love to know what you all think of this one. really hope you enjoy it and thank you soooo much for reading ♡

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[fonulyn]

hi :) do you have any advice for new teachers? i suddenly got my first teaching position and i'm kind of freaking out O_O

ohhhh congratulations!! :D ah and try to take deep breaths and calm down, I’m sure you’ll do great! 

the advice kind of would depend on how old kids you’re teaching (if kids at all?) because it’s quite different working with the little ones and with the teenagers, so. personally I find the smaller children a little intimidating and I’m glad I work with 13-19 year olds, because I can handle them much better :’D

but in general what I find is the most important thing about being a teacher is being fair to everyone. it’s impossible to actually like everyone you teach, especially if you work with teenagers when there’s always one of two who try their best to piss you off. but you’ve still got to treat them all the same, and give everyone the same opportunities for guidance and help. they’re kids. i’m the adult. i’ve got to see past the spitting on floors and yelling at me how math sucks.

and usually the kids will notice you’re being fair and not playing favorites and they’ll respect that. 

another thing i’ve learned is that often even when you feel like screaming and stomping your foot and throwing things, the best thing can be to smile and brush it off with a joke. like... pick your battles? don’t make a huge deal out of everything, so then when you do make a big deal out of an actually important issue it then actually sticks with them. i’m not gonna yell at them for making a paper airplane out of their exam, because it’s not a huge deal. but i am going to give them a stern talking to about for example offensive and homophobic language. because i think it’s a more important life lesson for them in the end. 

most kids are really good kids. they might act tough, and act out, but in the end they’re good kids. and i love working with them. that moment when you actually get through to someone who has done nothing but give you troubles, even for a second? amazing.

some teachers have their teacher-me and private-me and that is absolutely legit, that’s valid, if you feel like you need the separation then it’s your choice. personally for me, i can’t make that distinction. i find it easiest to be myself. be as honest and as genuine as possible. it doesn’t mean i’m gonna open up about everything, god no. but like. they see when you’re particularly tired, so admitting to it usually is the better call than trying to pretend you’re not. 

i’ve gone into the classroom with red rimmed eyes after crying, and all I got was “O_O are you okay???” when i was afraid they’d make fun of me. usually when they sense it’s serious, they won’t make it worse. 

but like this is where your personality comes into play a lot? I know colleagues who are amazing teachers but who are very strict in the classroom and they need to focus on the subject at hand all the time. wherein me? i go off on a tangent all the time, we’ll talk about things that definitely weren’t in the lesson plan at all. i can laugh at myself, and i don’t mind if they laugh at me as long as it’s all in good fun and not mean. 

and if they piss me off i can honestly tell them that c’mon, you’re being little shits right now, can’t you see how there’s smoke coming out of my ears :’D usually it gets a laugh and they do behave better.

idk i just really love this job?? i’m getting all teary-eyed here thinking about all the amazing students i’ve had :’D

OH AND one thing i learned like two years into teaching; you don’t always need to have every answer at hand immediately! i used to stress about it a lot, and felt that it made me less respectable and less of a teacher if i couldn’t answer every single question they asked. i even tried to make up an answer on the spot sometimes, until i talked with my dad (who was a teacher too lmao, as was my mom), and he was all “you’re still the one who knows the most about this in the room. they won’t mind if you need to google something.”

and you know what? they won’t! nowadays if they ask me what the price for a gram of gold is I can say “i do not know. i will look it up!” and then i will inform them when i’ve acquired that knowledge. if it’s a quick search i can do it while they’re working on some assignments or whatever, if it’s a more complex topic i’ll tell them “we’ll talk about this tomorrow” and they always accept it. they always just nod and when we get back to it they’re glad they got the info they wanted.

it’s okay not to know everything. and it’s okay to admit to your flaws. in the end they will remember the countless things you did tell them without looking them up and a few “oh man i have no idea!”s in between won’t do anything. except maybe make you look more human, idk? 

and it’s good to be flexible if you can. if something you planned out for a lesson isn’t working, it’s always good to have a plan b. i once tried a different approach during a chem lesson but they hated it so we stopped halfway through and just played hangman with names of chemical compounds for a bit and it was good.

sometimes they just need an adult to be present so they can rant about something that bothers them, and if some physics has to be set aside for that? fine. we can learn newton’s third law tomorrow if today you need to talk about how our government is handling immigration.

and one important thing: go easy on yourself, okay?

not every lesson is a great lesson. sometimes it’s enough that you got them to do anything at all. sometimes nothing you plan will work out. sometimes there are lessons when everything goes wrong, no one learns anything, and all those great plans you made just flew out of the window. but it happens. move on. the next lesson will be better! the next day will look up. 

i had this one group of 14-year-olds once, and there were two kids who hated me. it took us literally three months where every single lesson was a struggle. but after that it got better. by the end of the semester, there were some absolutely great lessons too. once i had a lesson so bad i cried for fifteen minutes straight afterwards bc nothing worked out. but you know what? the next lesson for the same group was great. 

i love this job. it’s amazing. i wouldn’t want to do anything else. but there are bad days and it’s fine. it happens. don’t beat yourself up for it. talk to someone about it, or come tell me about it if it helps ;) but then move on and it’ll get better. you’re not a bad teacher if you have a bad lesson or a few.

and the good lessons? when you see how someone finally gets a particularly difficult topic? when a kid who has panicked every math lesson suddenly gets something right and gives you the biggest smile? when someone who thought they’d never pass a single math course gets through them all? i don’t think there’s anything as rewarding as that. 

and the lessons when you get to laugh with them, work with them, everything goes as you planned and they’re excited about the topic and you get to actually enjoy every second of the lesson? that’s. that’s why i do this, seriously. those lessons feel like they’re not work at all. and there are surprisingly many of them. 

have i mentioned i love this job?? because i do. 

i’m sorry i rambled so much i ...don’t know if any of this is actually good or useful advice for you?? but feel free to drop me a message anytime if you need some support!! you’ve got this! :D

[llazyneiph]

I hate my body but it is because I'm fat, not because I'm trans. I can't even begin to imagine the shit y'all go through with body dysphoria and whatnot. And the danger from phobics...y'all are fucking the strongest people I have ever seen. Ppl are always saying how strong I am for fighting my mental illnesses but damn, trans people are the strongest tbh. Esp ones of color, fuck. Y'all get so much hate idk how you survive. But to all my trans bros and sis, keep fighting you are valid and ily.

im gonna answer this is in two separate parts because I don’t want to just ignore what you said at the start.

i understand the feelings of hating yourself for something you feel like you can’t change, like every time you attempt to start your journey something around you sabotages you. Whether that's being surrounded by unhealthy options or family members that don't support you or even just your own mental health.And I ain’t even talking from a trans perspective, i’m saying this as someone who has successfully lost weight and kept it off. Now of course I don’t know your personal situation, but the way you worded it made it sound like you do want to lose weight. The only thing I found works for me is to just dive balls deep into it straight away. No ‘oh but I ate microwaved kfc chips for breakfast this morning (me lmao)’, or ‘ill start on Monday’. None of that shit, just start. Pairing that with legitimately getting rid of all the stuff around you that you know you will want to eat and also having some form of accountability is the way to go. Set yourself up for success, not failure. And don’t make your goal, ‘i want to be skinny in 6 months’ because that's not going to happen. Set weekly/monthly goals, its amazing to actually meet a goal because its achievable and then you don't want to fck that up so you keep going.  I actually lose weight because I went low carb, only allowed myself 20-25g of carbs a day and I ended up stickin to it because I didn’t wanna mess up my streak lmao. But, weight loss talk aside, your body is a wonderful thing that allows you to experience life. Putting yourself down because you aren’t what you think is the ‘ideal body’ or whatever is just cruel to yourself. Would you let someone else put themselves down or would you try to help them? Why should you not treat yourself the same way you would treat others? Learning to accept and enjoy this incredible thing you’ve been given isnt something that happens over night nor is it easy, theres always gonna be some imperfection that you see because you’re human and it’s what we do. At the end of the day, strive for health. Start the journey when you’re ready to, if you take baby steps then one day you’re gonna look back and realize you can’t even see the place you started from anymore.

As for the other stuff you talked about, every collective is strongest as a group so thats why I think it’s so important to stick together. Especially those of us who are lucky enough to be in stable homes, safer countries, ect. We need to be there for and give a voice to those who need it most, like transpeople of colour, like the people who cant come out because of safety, or like the people who cant access medical stuff. And that definitely includes allowing cishet allies in to support us. I see a lot of LGBTQ+ people just immediately write off a cishet person and say they’re ‘not allowed’ to be an ally. how tf are we supposed to grow stronger as a community when we shut everyone else out? Do we expect cishet people to just learn everything from google and then keep their mouths closed when we talk?a thousand voices are louder than a hundred, and those voices should be made up of both LGBTQ+ AND allies. but yes, transpeople do have to be strong for themselves and I am very proud of my community. but not only that, you are very strong for living with mental illness. takes a goddamn warrior to live with that.

anyway, sorry for going off on a tangent, you ever need to talk, my DM’s are open.

[myheartbeatskids]

So Declan loved me and we talked about science and lab babies and clones and all that. So He told me he loved me because i was the first person to really really listen and understand as opposed to being the one to teach.

And so he had understood what he was taught then developed and built upon it correctly with help from his own brain and God. And del Muerte whom helped me understand as well cause that shit was mind blowing.

So he asked me to have his soul mate. To give birth to her.

And I was pretty much dragged out and Declan ran the show after that.

I agreed but it was more like a thing where i had to focus and talk instead of fainting.

So Matt actually helped to implant because I have an upturned uterious and so things like that are painful because of the rigidity and non flexible as i need materials used while Jeremiah comforted and helped me relax.

So then essentially i was kidnapped.

Declan is part clone and part Neanderthal.

Annabelle is part clone and part Neanderthal.

So some of us from Michael Jackson's boarding school --- although I wasn't i stayed there alot on my own. So i was part of it, unofficially as i am a civilian doing military shit now. --- have clones in a laboratory. But they are miniature human size as they are kept in barbie size containers.

Since Declan was a clone Jesse gave permission to make, they said i should use a clone.

It took 5 eggs until Declan approved the child that would be created in the embryo. Del Muerte communicated to us what God said.

Most males get their soul mates at age 7. Declan was only 2 years old. So God hadnt had enough experience to program or create his perfect soulmate.

So it just so happened it was 2 years of plus 5 embryos which makes the year 7 while added together.

So when Annabelle was born Declan came to get me and her but my now ex-husband got me all fucked up and i had amnesia and all that and i remember the power struggle type issues while signing the birth certificate which is why i get child support as my ex swore bla bla bla and signed papers to those statements but I was all "Dude while he's signing let's run!" Because he pissed me off during that time and i was all no hes wrong and all... But I guess I was scared of him or his aura csused me confusion or Idk. I remember feeling sick.

So craziness. We are 16 years late. And unfortunately yet fortunately a lot of research was done and i have a lot of government apology money coming my way. Which i don't have yet.... But soon.

This is Cambria AvaLynn named after Alexis Dejoria.

Because Matt's parents were into hiding, they named him after a mat. A common object so in case of ESP feom the people they hid from they would think "welcome mat" like welcome to travel with us son named Matt. Welcome to eat at the dining table, Matt. Well, come, Matt.

So came or come because i would always want to see Matt so I would say "You came!!!" When i saw him and hug him and he would say "welcome"

And Bria after me.

Turning the x into a v (for Victory) and Lynn as in the 80s most of my friends on the military base i lived on has Lynn as their middle names. So to remind me she is a friend.

She's my child that was ectopic due to the sponges Jamie & Doug Otis found and reminded us of. But we went to the hospital because i began to hemmoragge and they were able to save her and her twin.

Then my mom killed her and he died naturally as he was in ICU TO experiment on them being raised/healed as premies temporarily as one within an incubator and the other skin to skin contact. As woman need to be comforted more, we picked Ava to bring home.

They were the first experiment with soul mates being born as twins. Both clones of my and Jeremiah and his being Ava and my being the male Andrew.

Andrew after Jesse... "And he drew" cause he was always drawing beautifully.

And the other clones were of Jesse James and Alexis.

Alexis got kidnapped by her dad and so the story goes... I did too Eventually

Jeremiah's dad helped us as the grandparent in house.

This is Declan.

He told Jeremiah "I'm not the one sitting around waiting with a pouted lip waiting for someone to do it for me. Now i found the woman and go get my kid!!"

Dude WTF I'm not having someones kid... I'm only 21!!

"Now im the man around the house and what I say goes!!! And you are going to have my kid!!"

Dude whatever. So i did dream into the lab with them but... I thought we were just playing and so i agreed and so next thing i knew there was a frozen child ready to be implanted. Thus my ability to be kidnapped so easily...

Cause when a kid is all telling you about clones and labs and shit... And you're hearing voices... that shit is insane. Literally.

So i didn't take it seriously enough.

But Declan is only 19 Now. And my kid is 16.

So it's old enough to have a romantic relationship. To avoid issues i had as a child with social services.

The plan was to have them grow up as friends but also believed it may been too dangerous....

Yet I still don't agree that it was.

However for the last 10 year's I have been working daily for my amnesia to be solved and also saving the world (of NHRA especially) at the same time.

And have earned multiple Nobel Peace Prizes which i have yet to receive.

So working on law enforcement and the military and government, about to break into the public school system and tear that up ;) as a civilian has earned me billions of dollars i have yet to receive....

But i have given away as i can and have bought businesses that I want.

As proof that the government does care about all its people's hopes and dreams they have bought them on my behalf and am gsining bank! And i shop st my own businesses too... Ironically! I been shopping at Loves for nearly a year... went into Speedway a few times now i drive an extra 5 miles just to shop there because i like it more!!

Robert, the shift manager finally told me tonight as I bought all the GIANTS for my Giant 6'7" man. And i turned the ones in Valencia County to Speedway in honor of Aaron and Paul (twins) who wanted to show the dangers of meth and the meth community as they honored me with my idea of how to end Breaking Bad with the movie reel of El Camino (the mother road) of the manner of the psychological reality of life gone wrong.

I freak Robert out... He was worried when he saw me there that I was to audit like a monster, fire everyone and work the cash register and store myself.

So tonight he saw I bought milkshakes (not available at Love's) figured it out and gave me a pack of smokes for free and blurted out why.

So i took all the giants as i always do and fucked them all up and made them better.

So i own them till i make my money back on the businesses and then they get given to who I intended it for... As I do double check they will always be worthy... If not i keep them for me because I was being good snd honest and fair the whole time.

So 360° K i own.

So i only compete with Love's whom I always promised the King's Highway to... You know him... As an old time Western Thug bitch ass womanizer player. Motorcycle Guru. Hot Rod extraordinaire. Texas loving son of a gun. Jesse James Smith! Just kidding... Just regular old ole fogie mad scientist Jesse Gregory Smith. Of West Coast Choppers. Which i own and always have as i put up the money for his business intending to always be in his life and helping him. So my apology... The only one i can ever give as i can't predict the future without help is Love. And he loves everyone and won't let Google tell.

I bought every gas station in the country as we will be switching to electric and hydro electric and non fuel and solar and hybrid autos by 2030. So the previous owners have a nice retirement and no stress. As the storage oil facilities that were shot in Saudia Arabia were actually empty. I own them.

Fossil fuels are actually the blood of dinosaurs and other dead bodies that are converted and broken down and dehydrated by plant life...

I found that out by the eternal bushes burning.. I mean growing... here on the mountain. Tumble weeds otherwise known as thyme. And we found via satellite tons of skeletons by Earth xrays under the bushes and some not as they are closer to the Earth surface. I found a wooly mammoth knuckle bone.

We moved here in 2002 and there was a patch of earth that looked like concrete by the mail boxes and we just drove over them assuming that's what it was.

They were mummified wooly mammoths. Now broken up and scattered all over the desert road.

I would not like my blood which could potentially bring me back to life wasted on a car... For someone to get to a job they hate. So no more. Not from the USA anyways.

One night I was at dinner and i said Obama needs to handle thwt South Dakota pipeline. My dad was all what is he supposed to do? All simple solutions were crap and had an argument. I said "then lie! Tell the American people they are scum! Tell them we opened the pipeline up and the pipes broke and destroyed the precious land that needs to be protected." My dad laughed and i felt kinda stupid for being so angry.

But Uncle Donald heard my point and so thats exactly what he did. Fake news? Its real.

Because he saw the change I made in the NHRA with some lies that laid very close to the truth.

You don't need to believe in reincarnation for it to happen. I didn't until about 6 months ago. But my mom's mom and my great aunt my grandma's sister ... Granny Bessie Heltons 2 daughters did. My grandma explained it to me one night when I was 18 as i had asked my Great Aunt Nita i was closer to but she didn't explain she just said "because i do" And the dictionary explaination i already knew. But my grandma traveled with me like y'all know i do And showed me.

We started in Heaven with only having one human life and having the soul figure of a human that we select. Hers was a teenage body, absolutely beautiful. With her old ass mind and experience. I told her what I wanted was to be a child. A dirty raggedy haired barefoot blonde without a care in the world, feeling smarter than I feel now... Because that is when i was happiest. When i saw i could end pain and suffering with death, when i knew life could escape heart ache, even when evil exist.

And so now on her second cat life with me, as her first caused her kidnapping by the same drug induced psycho piece of shit that arrested and molested Jesse James dog, Coco and her untimely death as I did record in Tumblr. "Sister Kitty" was kidnapped by him, hes in a special jail. He just had his pinkie finger nail and big toe nail removed as he did kidnap Mogar and slice his face and slice Kizzys leg. So in order to understand what he did he agreed to similar punishment as he did to our precious cargo...

Cargo my bitches!

Jesse: No! I only ask!

Me: who do i have to convince?

Jesse: Idk Jeremiah?

Me: Ava who is your dad?

Ava: Idk I guess not Jeremiah?? IDK!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL!? you all always told me they are both my dad's. Let me ask God. Oh! Jesse! ..... And Jeremiah

Me: your dad is your dad and dad he will always be no matter shine or high water, love will always be there for you and for me. Alexis, do you know that one?

She nods all teary..

Jesse: well did i get loves?!

Me: uhh yes ass hole! We always love you back. What do you want with a gas station with no gas? That's like having a family with out us, most especially me!

Jesse: well it got gas now!!!

Me: well gas up at your local, bring a truck. I got a lot of stuff.

Declan: you hear her? Most especially me! Me! Well, me too, you better pick me up.

Me: Jesse... You ready for Orlando?? I got a Chase bank account with the Princess Castle on the debit card... Just needs a little cash in the account.

Jesse: You Mean You Will Pay!!!

Me: i see that was not a question so that does not deserve a response. But yes. I am suppose to have a wire transfer per last night's discussions that will pay for it.

Jesse: WHOA SHIT!

Me: Jeremiah you down?

Jeremiah: to pay Miss Giant Owner?

Me: uhh I'm Miss Speedyway now. No.. Carry me through times square after some Disney World Fun!

Jeremiah: FUCK YES!! uhh yes thank you for inviting me. I will go

Matt Hagan: look look at this. Im the best friend i even got her kid named after me

Me: Matt Hagan... Looks like you're invited, The Best Friend. In or out of Disney World for the hotel.

Matt: IN!!

Me: youre definitely going you know how to do it right! Pops... You gonna stay home alone with your woman?

Pops: not if i don't have to

M3: you don't

Pops: shit! Oh yeah!

Chuck: what about Cookie!!

Me: you and bring Your comrades I need to talk to

Chuckie: oh Cookies going!

Me: I didn't know he could do the Conga.

Jesse: yes you did!

Me: no wonder it looked familiar.

[cathedralcomic]

Hey, I'm back again lmao,, idk if I asked this before but what are some things that inspired this story? I was thinking about it earlier and it's just so good and complex and I was curious how you even put together such a cool story. I usually get inspired by music and such, so I was just curious! Are there any scrapped ideas for the story you decided not to use? :0

GREAT QUESTION...

i drew A LOT of inspiration from film, tv, music.... i even drew inspo from real people for some of the character designs! cathedral’s biggest inspiration was probably true detective season 1 (with hints of 3) i love the grungy atmosphere and borderline creepy religious tones soo much... one of the early versions of cathedral actually took place in a louisiana swamp loll. it’s also inspired by sharp objects, over the garden wall (moreso w/ setting than anything else), and — droppin a real story here out of nowhere — the cleveland torso murders! i wouldn’t google it if ya got a weak stomach, haha.

cathedral’s story has been in my mind since summer of 2018 i think, and it’s went through a MULTITUDE of variations, oh my god. the three leads have stayed more or less the same, minus a shit load of redesigns and name changes. the earliest cathedral was set in the canon forest territories! and instead of a feline antagonist it was more of an otherwordly being, kinda the way humans were presented in bambi as this looming, eldritch threat?? also bambi (the novel) was another inspo for early cathedral hfnsbdb.