#idk i dont really remember.

[b0mblover]

im so sorry lopt but also not

By: J

no tws. little bit of loptson fluff for the soul

it-

it all felt so weird.

he was still allowed to be himself,

but,

the sense of “himself” felt like it was changing.

sure, his comrades deaths made him feel something.

but.

that had been over half a year ago now.

since norikos death, lopt moved out.

well, as much as someone can without living there.

he had been living with mason for,, a while now.

he was allowed to be himself,

sure mason would get agitated sometimes,

but it never,

it never was unbearable.

for the both of them.

it was spring now,

lopt wondered if the odd feeling he had been… feeling, was seasonal depression going away.

“can a god even get seasonal depression”

most days he could ignore it but,

today was one of them that he couldnt.

he sat on the edge of the pull out couch, mason had to run some errands, leaving lopt alone with his mind, and ghosts.

some days hed hear the ghosts of the past that he had wronged.

sometimes begging, sometimes belittling him, sometimes just hearing wind blowing.

memories of the explosion flashed in his mind.

it had been half a year ago.

why did he care now?

could-

could gods even have trauma?

“well, as a shapeshifter, i am able to morph every part of my body that i see fit, i believe, meaning if that /were/ the case couldnt i just. take it away?”

he questioned aloud

(no no you cant lopt. because the writier is having “writers” block and wants you to suffer)

continuously, his mind replaying the boom of the explosion, 

the after shock he felt on the ground.

in reality, it was just mason shutting the door.

“hey, you didnt respond to any if my texts so i just got you bot-“

mason cut himself off, seeing the state lopt was in.

lopt continued staring at the ground,

his vision was crowded with static, and, the ghosts and voices were so loud they were drowning out his own thoughts.

he could barely feel when mason tapped at his knee to get his attention.

lopt looked up in the general direction he felt the movement coming from.

“uh, something.. wrong…?”

mason was unsure as to what was happening, he had never seen lopt so… broken.

lopt opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out.

a voice seemingly coming from behind him said how he had nothing worth saying.

nothing that would be worth anything to such a person as mason.

nothing worth saying that would ever amount to his partner.

he started to spiral.

questioning just /why/ mason was with him in the first place.

humans had used gods for their blood before, though, mason never did that,

humans had used gods for their power before, though mason never did that either.

was mason just with him, just to betray him in the end..?

did mason stay, just to make fun of him?

remind him of the fact he can never have a real relationship with a mortal due to their mortality and his immortality?

to-

he felt something cold on his face.

he looked up trying to see what the source was, only being greeted by the static in his vision that had never left.

“shh shh there there, youre gonna’ be okay”

mason.

mason was trying to help.

why?

wouldnt it be better to go ahead and stab lopt in the back?

to essentially kill him right then and there

to-

“hey. hey breathe, breathe, youre okay, here can you see? you know what im saying right now?”

lopts mind kept rushing, but

he tried to pull through,

realising that it was essentially pointless for him to attempt to talk, he slightly nodded his head in a ‘yes’ manner

“good, good, i take it that you cant see much huh? i mean, youre looking right past me-“

lopt internally laughed, before shaking his head yes again

“alllrighty then, ill sit with you til’ it clears up mkay?” 

lopt flashed a slight, but genuine smile what he thought was masons way.

mason burst out laughing, lopt was not looking masons way in the slightest, from masons view he just smiled at a wall

“i- you-“

mason choked out between tears

“youuuu, n-need to-“

lopt felt a bit better, even if mason was laughing at his expense, somewhere in himself he knew that it wasnt masons intention, he was better than that.

mason mostly had regained his composure (or what little he still had after that) and started again

“y’know itd be k-kinda helpful if you /actually/ looked my way-“ mason got through between laughs

lopt giggled to himself before shaking his head in a overly dramatic way ‘no’

“ahhh darn”

mason snapped his fingers

“welp, i tried” he said before shrugging. as if lopt could see it.

“hows the whole vision thing going”

lopt contemplated his response for a second, it had cleared up but, not to a great degree

lopt waved his hand in an iffy way

“ahh- barely then”

lopt rolled his eyes, in a playful way, basing it off of feelings, he knew he probably wasnt even facing mason,

“jeeze how long does this fucking taaaaaake”

mason groanded out before fallinn backwards into the pull out couch, making a little “oomf” sound as he

hit it. 

lopt held up his pointer finger,

“huh? you say somthin’?”

lopt sighed. attempting to speak again

(j gave up)

“h-hour” lopt managed to get out

his voice sounded much deeper and raspier than the pitch he prefered to keep it at, being all that he could manage.

“i-o-oh” mason stuttered out, being caught off guard by lopts voice. slightly blushing aswell-

mason took a deep breath before composing himself again and sitting up.

“well, if its gonna take that long, how bout’ i get started on dinner?”

“s-sure, s-sou-sounds, good” lopt was pushing himself to speak, he had heard (and felt) mason get up, being unsure as where to face.

“alright then, and, please dont push yourself alright? you uh, you need to take your time”

lopt smiled back.

again smiling at a wall.

[joshuamj]

Hero.

[clouvu]

Cooking up an older Clervie outfit design so I don't have to keep drawing her looking like her child self but Long

[fraternum-momentum]

tits be upon ye

[catgirlweed]

smilers

[peachducy]

professor layton spoilers

thinking about hershel and theodore both get adopted au

[dhmis-autism]

been thinking about them lately ok

[fjordline]

little images while i draw something more substantial

[ocularmacdown]

redraws from episodes i watched recently, goth kids, and mucking around with the broship's outfits. peace and love from the south park gutters and STAN GROUND !!!!

the alley i used for the goth kids redraw is a background from the sp-studio.de website !!

[dreadfuldevotee]

Finally found someone who understands loumand amongst the loumand never loved eachother discourse, feel like I'm going crazy armand loved him (not defending his actions) and i believe louis loved him too in paris and i wanna say after too even if that love was tainted, or faded by the time they're in dubai that doesn't mean they never loved eachother.

They're beautiful and complex! I can't say I'm surprised they aren't a popular dynamic but the unwillingness to engage with their story is what upsets me the most. If you take away the love they share then absolutely nothing either of them do in those 77 years together never meant anything in the first place.

Honestly, the biggest crime of Anti-Loumand readings is that they are wildly boring. Like okay, Louis has absolutely no agency whatsoever, or he's staying with Armand for Claudia but he can't even do that right because he refuses to stand up for her where it actually matters, but also stays with Armand even when he tells him to get out of Paris to....spite Lestat??? And Armand is just....what? Blanket evil with no real motive but to keep Louis like a pathetic goldfish in an gallon tank. Why would you want that, when the story being written is much more interesting? Louis who is troubled yet still wanting, drawn to Armand and despite his reservations and self-doubt finding himself loving Armand despite it all. In each-other they both see something they want and believe they can obtain it if they can possess the other. Armand is dazzled continuously by Louis zest for life, even if he often times doesn't understand the forms it takes. I adore how they each have these pivotal moments where they are disarmed by the others vulnerability. Armand hearing Louis advocate for Claudia in the sewers and deciding not to kill him. Louis hearing Armand talk about his past and choosing to stay in Paris, despite the imminent dangers.

Like of course, they are far far far from perfect, and by Dubai they are both such shells of the people they actually are. And why I keep hope alive about Trinity Gate or really any loumand reunion. The two of them getting to meet again when they have both rediscovered themselves, and seeing each other in new lights would be everything to me. But yeah, truly nothing could make me hate them. I could sit here and wax poetic about them forever, frankly. And I absolutely will continue to on this blog lmaooo.

[weirdmageddon]

It's not totally clear here why Dave's dream self appears to be already awake while his real self is also awake. I think we must infer that his dream self is in some sort of "waking trance" where he's technically awake but too preoccupied by certain things to be considered fully awake.

thinking about jade being lonely as hell on her island and going to sleep waking up on prospit and seeing john (not knowing his name yet) asleep plagued with the creepy dersite doll dreams with the scary teeth and just aughhhh

and she’d like overhear the white queen talk about the dark kingdom derse and the prince(sse)s of the moon that are there and trying to attract as little attention as possible jade would fly out there through the medium because shes so lonely. and she’d go to the purple moons’ towers. she’d find a girl is sound asleep in her purple robes and bed. but the other kid on the moon she finds is awake! except… not really. more like in a trance state. awake but not conscious. but she likes to hear whatever garbled stuff this triangle-speced boy has to say

the trip is long but jade visits this boy a few times since he’s the only non-asleep person like her she can interact with face to face. he usually seems lost in his own world, usually listening to music or talking to himself about stuff that doesnt make much sense. when she’s deprived of sapient affection she’ll touch him in small gestures like holding his hand while he listens to his music and he’ll squeeze back instinctually, and it helps her experience a microdose of the human connection. maybe he doesnt get much in the way of sapient affection either. when she hears The Horrors of the furthest ring another dream headset pops into existence for her to listen along with him and they listen to whatever music hes making. who is he

[ao3screenshotss]

here's some of the hundreds of fanfic tags/lines that i screanshooted that I now. just have. sitting in my phone.

[puppyeared]

i like him

[umblrspectrum]

my mom didn't carry me, she fucking DRIBBLED me

[astranauticus]

soliloquy

(edit once again i drew something with my ipad screen brightness too high and now that i've posted it nothing is visible. sad!)

[cheatingtime]