#idk i just feel like i want to live by these principles rather than just letting the days merge into one long sigh

[nia-academia]

reminder to not let myself be washed away, to stand my ground even when it seems much easier to just let go, to stay firm in what i believe and to never feel small because everything else seems bigger.

reminder to never again live passively.

[pit-and-the-pen]

ACOTAR Zodiac Signs

I’m just doing Sun (because this would turn into a full dissertation if I did rising and moon but I might do them in the future This is obviously just my opinion and for funsies. Please be nice if you disagree. Also, the book I use is called “The Complete Guide to Astrology.” It’s on kindle unlimited if you want to look into it! (there’s also 13 characters I’m doing here so some will be repeats)

Also, thank to @milswrites and @prythianpages for suggesting for me to write this all out <3 I'm happy to be your go-to for astrology.

Azriel: Scorpio. ““It is often said that a Scorpio man can be obsessive, possessive and vindictive, but the truth is he can also be loyal, supportive, compassionate and incredible in bed. This man has to deal with unusual emotional depth, leading to his extreme sensitivity and his need to close his heart in order not to get hurt. The only reason he becomes vindictive is in his deeply emotional nature and his incapability to forgive the depth of his injuries.” (this is the only one that didn’t come from the book and I can’t find the website I pulled it from) This one seems pretty self-explanatory but Azriel holds his emotions close to his chest for sure. I’m not convinced he doesn’t feel deeply and just has closed himself off to letting others feel his emotions. 

Cassian: Taurus. Embodies an animal like wisdom in that they have finely honed senses and are sensual, practical, and loyal. Inwardly, they are deeply grounded, patient and steady, but this can also lead to the tendency to be stubborn or bullheaded and overly materialistic in the pursuit of security. Others can see taurus as stable and lacking pretense.”  Despite everyone thinking he’s a bit dull, Cassian is a rock to all of those around him. He might not be the smartest in a scholarly way but out of the IC I think he has the most emotional intelligence despite not being able to read the room all the time. But he’s definitely stubborn.

Elain: Virgo. Analyze is the primary word for virgo. Virgo energy embodies the principle of service, as they love to feel useful in the world. Virgos are attentive to detail and very analytical. Their inner world is often self-critical and they are worriers. They tend to servitude rather than service and forget to take care of themselves in the process. Others see virgos as ethical and organized, though it’s a bit of a myth to say that all virgos are naturally tidy. This is, in part, because their perfectionist tendencies can lead to analysis paralysis. I think this really describes pre-fae Elain. She might have not been the best at protecting Feyre but she was really the only one that saw what everything was doing to her. She also loves gardening which feeds into the nurturing part of virgos. Idk she just gives me virgo energy.

Eris: Okay, bare with me on this one. Pisces. Their primary word is believe. They are seen as highly sensitive, creative and mystical beings. Pisces often struggle with boundaries and extreme empaths, which can cause them to fall into the role of victim or martyr. LIke the symbol of fish swimming in two directions, it’s the lesson of pisces to live in the realms of the manifest and mystical. If they can become comfortable with being agents of change they will avoid the escapist and addictive tendencies they may turn to on occasion. Like I said, bare with me. We never truly get to see Eris for who he is. We only get to see the mask that he puts on while Beron is alive. But even then, he’s willing to risk his life to help out the night court. He became their inside man and we get to see little bits of his personality. I think Eris is rules far more by his moon than his sun but I also think that who he presents as is mainly because of the abuse he’s suffered from Beron. 

Emerie: Libra. Balance is the primary word for libras, because they try to find the middle ground and harmonious balance in all that they do. Libra is the diplomat and mediator of the zodiac. Because of that, they can come across as indecisive, vacillating and even passive-aggressive at times. Generally, Libra comes across as fair, peace-loving and creative. Inwardly, they are focused on others and relationships (not always romantic) Emerie was the first person to see Nesta for who she is. And she is fiercely loyal to those she picks to be apart of her life. But she does seem to be in the middle of what little spats there are in her group, but as the most sensical one if that makes sense? We don’t get a lot of Emerie in the book (a crime if you ask me) but I think this is the closest to her character.

Feyre: Sagittarius. (actually confirmed by the book). Wander and wonder are the primary words for Sagittarius because they like to wander-physically and mentally- and they often live in a state of wonder at the world. Sagittarius is the seeker of truth and freedom and loves exploration of all kinds. They are seens as naive, inspirational and eternal optimists. Spiritually oriented and visionary, they have the ability to see the big picture of life. If Sagittarius embraces life as a quest for experience and truth their tendies towards naivete can become higher wisdom. I don’t fulllllyyy agree with all of this, but since her birthday is on the winter solstice she would be a Sagittarius and I can see it in bits and pieces. She’s always been very creative and literally see’s the bigger picture in life in the way can see the art she wants to create. But she’s also very self-sacrificing which I think adds to seeing the bigger picture. She’s able to look past her own wants and desires and do what she needs to do for the sake of everyone else.  

Gwen: Taurus, (see Cassian)

Helion: Leo. Leos are born to lead, and that is their primary word. Whether king, queen or leader in their own home, leos are born to shine and charm. They crave attention and tend to be melodramatic and superior when in shadow. Otherwise, Leos are dynamic, self-confident and playful. At their best, they are magnetic and affectionate and light up the lives of those around them because they carry the sun’s radiance within (I swear, hand on the bible, that’s what my book actually says and I didn’t read the whole thing before I made my choice on this.) This is an other self-explanatory one but even without all the sun references. Helion is kind and charming, but also a great leader. 

Lucien: Cancer. Feel is the primary word for cancers, they are all emotion and intuition. Cancer is the nurturer of the zodiac and are very traditional and family oriented. Inwardly, the sign is extremely sensitive and can tend toward being insecure and giving too much to the point of ignoring their own needs. Others see them as responsive and loving but they can also be moody. Lucien feels a lot of stuff. He’s written off as being snarky but I think it’s because he can see through peoples bullshit because of how much he truly  feels. He was there for Feyre. And regardless of what you ship, he was the only one to think of giving Elain something to cover herself with. 

Mor: Gemini. Gemini is the thinker and symbolizes the mind, voice and communication. Their inner life is curious, observant, often scattered and may be highly strung. Geminis are seen as socially verbally expressive but can sometimes manipulative and duplicitous. All I can say for this is SJM ruined what she had going for Mor and focused too much of the manipulative side of her. Mor had so much potential but this is still her sign. 

Nesta: Aquarius. Aquarians are the individuals of the Zodiac and their primary word is “know”. Aquarians are socially conscious and are dedicated to causes and reform, but they can also be emotionally distant and even anarchistic at times. Because they often feel alienated from those around them, they are sometimes tempted to betray their convictions to fit in, but their path is to embody their personal truth no matter what. Nesta is at her very core, loyal. She cares deeply for the people she’s let into her life, regardless of how much she will fight them as they try to get close to her. But she stands by her morals for sure. She is also willing to do what she needs to do when she thinks it’s right. I think that arrogant, cruel facade is the very conviction she was forced into. She was raised as nothing more than a way for her family to marry up and she took it in stride, despite how much it obviously affected her.

Rhysand: Leo. (See Helion)

Tamlin: Capricorn. The primary word for Capricorn is achieve. Capricorns are focused on climbing the ladder of achievement but may have a tendency to do so based on the expectations of the outer world rather than based on a foundation of self-trust, which is where the tail of the fish comes in. Capricorn is seen as responsible and determined but also, at times, controlling and fearful. Inwardly, although Capricorn is hardworking and law-abiding, there is often an underlying fear of never being enough. Their commitment and leadership qualities are their strengths. Tamlin is actually a good leader, he just lets himself be ruled by the fear he has of things happening to the people he loves.

[scenetocause]

For the director's cut thing: At the end of Climb up to your lips, you implied Max F and Logan might be A Thing, and I'd love to hear more about that if you want to share ❤️

idk if i'll ever actually finish the logan perspective thing i started writing midway through the main story bc actually when i looked back at it i was like these are really just my own background notes what do you think you are jrr tolk himself you don't have to publish stuff you wrote for your own reference. but hey if there ever was a medium for all your stupid lore and self-fanfic then it surely is a o three dot org (note to old men fantasy writers etc) so maybe i will.

basically the thesis is that logan, like oscar at the start, is lonely and can't get what he wants, which is a boyfriend. both him and oscar have resigned themselves to never being able to reconcile their ambitions in f1 with anything that fulfils them in that way and sort of let their friendship settle as a pseudo-standin where they can hang out and be each other's person to take to things, go to dinner with, whatever and just live in suspended animation until something (???) happens and they get disney prince rescued.

something does happen for girloscar which is that she isn't so much disney prince rescued as like, dragged into a bath by a wet cat. and she can't believe this is happening because she's fancied lando for ages, used to pine at him from the alpine pit wall so much she got caught by otmar once, who mistook it for trying to steal secrets off mclaren and she had to make something up about the front wing.

she's so excited to be teammates with him but also so, so mortified and trying really hard to be normal about it. logan's thrilled to be in f1 at all but also realising that deal he had for fucking about a little bit with some of the f2 guys was just fucking about for them when their girlfriends weren't on the travel budget and definitely won't survive being in different paddocks.

oscar gets lando and logan gets lonelier. at the same time, his season's falling apart and everyone's announcing his career dead before it feels like it's had a chance to start. he has to rely on benny and james and benny starts to, gently, put distance between them to keep it professional, manage logan's expectations. so he clings to james, at the same time as knowing this is probably the worst possible way to try and keep his seat and that it's going nowhere, the team principle not a viable fuckbuddy, let alone anything more.

enter jenson button. hot dad, sympathetic ear, special advisor to williams. whiskey supplier. a man who's there to help you celebrate your first f1 point and certainly isn't going to argue if that involves a bit of fucking your brains out. lovely, sweet, gentle, funny jenson who makes logan feel special and loved and sweeps him up from his flat in london in fancy cars to go to fancier restaurants as though he deserves the champagne.

and then goes home to his wife and kids.

somewhere along the way, hurting during the 2024 season, logan has to break it off. he wants what oscar and lando have, not this. it was glamorous and exciting and giving him the confidence he was part of this world he's fighting to stay in, for awhile but then it starts making him realise he'll only ever be the number two in that situation, forever out of contention for the real prize. it's all a bit on the nose.

so he stubbornly struggles through 2024, single as fuck and finding himself taking rather than giving advice to oscar about things to stick up your arse, which feels lonelier than ever before. in miami the combination of his and oscar's shit weekend and lando's good one leads to him coming out for a few drinks and ending up fucking one of the mclaren pr guys. he has a meltdown when he sees the papaya shirt on the floor the next morning.

pr guy's very discreet about it, although he keeps smiling at logan every time they cross paths and logan's about 85% sure there isn't actually a need for him to follow oscar so closely, actually. logan's shaky position makes someone being so into him about as comfortable on his skin as sweaty fireproofs but that doesn't stop him being desperate enough to fall into bed with the guy again once he has something to celebrate. once he realises he's charlie-from-marketing's jenson figure.

he's not an asshole so he does take the guy on a few dates, try and romance him a bit. maybe he, too, can find love with a mclaren twink, it worked for oscar after all. but it just doesn't click, the guy doesn't really understand him, too in awe of the fact he's getting screwed by an f1 driver to notice the bedsheets are ikea and one of the pillows is pretty badly tearstained. that logan's barely clinging to his ride, feels like he is what they're saying; one of the worst ever, not even brave enough with the car to crash as spectacularly as latifi.

logan doesn't exactly break it off but says he needs them to take a break while he's negotiating his contract, can't risk anything. it's not a huge surprise when a few week's later it's obvious the guy's moved on with ollie bearman. like his last relationship, it's all a bit on the nose.

2025 gives him time to work out what he really wants. f1 might not be it, life might be better somewhere else. he starts talking to formula e teams, wondering if a life in papaya might not be that bad after all provided he didn't have to see oscar and lando mooning over each other. and that's not even fair because oscar asks him to be her best man and he's stoked, especially because lando's is max and they've stayed in touch, still hang out. max is doing a few bits racing gts, initially as a quadrant thing but then it turned out he was more than good enough to be in demand as the pro to a gentleman driver who was so eager to get back in a race car he didn't really negotiate on price, even.

logan avoids asking him about it but max is fucking hype about how mint the 24 hours of spa is. fucking mental, mate. you're throwing it up eau rouge with a bunch of blokes who wear suits, like proper suits not race suits, all week in the pitch dark and it's shitting it down with rain and you think: i shouldn't be enjoying this, should i? should really be driving into the pits and saying no thanks, that's absolutely mad, can't be doing that sort of business. but then when it's happening you're like, properly into it, aren't you? got a podium in misano, mate, it was mad. blowie off one of the mechanics, that didn't happen in f3 did it haha mind you guess they would've been a bit of a nonce back then wouldn't they. you should come to a race i'll get you vip, they'll go mental for an f1 driver being there mate, they went mad when bob dropped into brands and he was only there five minutes.

logan doesn't say that he thinks he has a lot less star power than lando but they do give him vip anyway. he's never been to magny cours before, it feels weighted with that type of european history the classic race tracks do, like another thing that might find out who he is and reject him.

even if the circuit isn't embracing him, max does. complains about logan being so fucking tall, mate, it's annoying, i swear you were smaller than me once. he wasn't but max can pretend that, if it helps. max is jangling with nerves, rushing between trying to sort things out with the team - because it's not like, you know, f3 and that, you have to set the car up so the other bloke can drive it the best he can and then you just sort of have to cope with how it is. actually, that's quite like f3 innit? do you remember in fucking silversto- nah, let's not think about that right now.

it's nice. it's nothing to do with f1. even with the quadrant logos, that's max's thing, no weird haunting of lando around and it's not like logan dislikes the guy, at all, it's just that it's nice that this is all theirs. logan can breathe out, relax, laugh properly for what feels like the first time in ages because no one's scrutinising his every move and max gives him a headset and tells him to listen out for when he's boxing, put the fucking kettle on, yeah?

logan falls asleep on max's hotel bed, listening to him recount the whole story of a race he just watched. max tucks him in, rather than the trophy and if they wake up hugging that's no one's business but theirs. didn't used to do blowies in f3, either but when there's something to celebrate and max really is so small, so cute, so unselfconscious about everything because it's just them, yeah. doesn't have to be a massive fuss like bob and oscar, do you want a lift back to the uk? i've got space since bob moved his fucking golf clubs out the boot finally.

oscar and lando get married a week later and it's very oscar and lando. logan didn't have a date to bring, didn't even think about it before he saw george's girlfriend and kelly and the sharp stab of whoever lewis' guy is. logan knows there's no point being jealous on that scale; he couldn't be lewis, on any level but everyone wants, don't they?

max doesn't have a date either. probably doesn't need to hold logan's hand while they're waiting for lando and oscar to do their vows and max is crying and maybe logan's crying too. they have to stay behind to clear up the flower petals, getting tutted at in french while max rolls his eyes and says they should try being told off at Viry, fucking hell.

if they're later to the reception than is strictly necessary because as they were leaving max turned round and said "do you think, mate. you know, we could - one day" and logan decided to stop living on borrowed time and properly make out with him against the harbour wall. have to stop because they're getting dangerously close to third base and max is breathy and gasping and telling logan he can have this. they always were equals, each others' biggest rivals, maybe they're meant to be here, bright eyed and hair disarrayed and grinning at each other, not the places they've been struggling.

oscar's definitely onto them, makes some really crude comments about it being traditional for the best man and head bridesmaid to fuck, innit and logan has to tell her to fuck off and bother her husband. they are properly cute, though, aren't they? never thought bob would be able to hold a relationship together but she's properly straightened him out, who knew he just had to get pegged- fuck, pretend i didn't say that. oh, how did you know, too?

logan and max normally stay with lando and oscar when they're in monaco. but there's only one spare room and this doesn't feel the moment to drop that announcement, as well as they do not want to hear what those two pervs are doing to each other tonight. so they're in different hotels but everything in monte carlo's pretty much the same place, pick logan's on the basis it's nearer the casino and they can go for a late night, last drink once they've got oscar and lando's very drunk dads into a cab.

kissing when they're in fancy suits is hot. fucking when they're out of them is hotter. when logan slides home into max's body and sees him gasp, feels his hands curl on logan's shoulders as they both moan and if it's too much like lovemaking then, well. maybe that's what they're doing. creating something, between them. something that's all theirs and they can choose without anyone else's decisions or approval. no need to wait in limbo or have to guess what happens next, which is that they come on each other and then curl up together, max sprawled on logan's chest all happy and sated and real.

he doesn't wait for the f1 decision, to make plans. racing drivers aren't patient and he finally feels like one again, especially every time his boy brings home a trophy like it's theirs. logan starts adding to the collection, too. both of them get to push, at last. they've always been good at doing that for each other.

[spoiled-ojousama]

wrt 'thank you mister hitler' I get the feeling libs only actually understand the guy as like, a mythological axis of evil and not rlly as a guy with specific policies, so they'll bring it up as a 'I would make a faustian pact to remove trump' kinda sentiment, which they think is worldly and realistic to say

also thinking how our understanding of 'realism' has been mired by liberal cynicism because when the liberal must percieve reality, he can only see how his system is failing, so realism becomes shorthand for grim, mopey, defeatist, in truth realism runs both optimism and pessimism, containing extremes of despair and violence and extremes of hope and renewal

I also wonder if we have culturally devalued the idea of 'giving up' as an ultimate loss rather than acceptance that a given course is untenable and removing your energy from its motion. Despair is ultimately a grief filled giving up on something untenable, but abandonment gives rise to new possibilities and avenues of solution, but to give into despair for the liberal world order is to betray it, so it's held as an ultimate defeat, and instead you need to blindly hope, against all facts, that everything will work out when objectively it can't

so idk, when you need to hope like hell to not betray your ideals that have become integral to you, to face the despair and fear of accepting your failure, making a faustian pact with the most famous genocidaire of the 20th century feels rational, no matter how foul the means the liberal has to go on or accept they have faltered and the uncertainty there

but ig now we should maybe ask why is the liberal so fundamentally incurious as to the world so as to not carry their supposed principles forward into marxism, and I actually have no idea, because the avg lib is too fucking politically illiterate to actually grasp imperial benefits conciously, best I can say is they don't want to be concerned, that the biggest draw of liberalism is the order and enlightenment and security, and when learning is stressful and tiresome, the promise to never have to grow beyond, to be the pinnacle of all civilizational efforts must be tempting

I don't really get it tho, and I think I ignore the fact that learning we all literally live in a 'grimdark' world is probably painful for ppl, but it's such a stupid sentiment, why is the only world worth living in utopia, why do you need meaning and inherent background optimism to live, is it not enough to not need an excuse to exist, not need a reason, to just do what you want with what you can? I think the world fucking sucks and I like living, and ig I haven't had it as hard as most but then again neither have liberals so why are they like this

I'm missing something

hopepunk is pessimism

[haleigh-sloth]

I know people say Midoriya and Shigaraki "parallel" a lot, and in some ways they do. And I've said it plenty I believe back when I first started the story for sure.

But re-examining their arcs and incorporating Bakugo into the equation, because he's definitely a part of it, I think it's a lot less about paralleling, specifically with Midoriya and Shigaraki.

If the story was going to parallel them and surround their two arcs around that, then there'd be more similar backstories, similar experiences, just more things to put them on common ground to relate to one another. But there isn't a whole lot of that. And I don't think there was ever meant to be.

I think the paralleling is a bit more present between Shigaraki and Bakugo.

I could go into detail but I've done it a bit already in different ways at different times. Here is the most recent. Here is an older one.

I think both posts kind of get the point across, but really the most telling part of it all is how Shigaraki and Bakugo both have been subjected to getting their bodies hijacked, and how both incidents resulted in a shift in the MC's story.

(Also me just now realizing his mouth was covered for both of these incidents)

So Midoriya...I mean there are some parallels. Or imo it's more like lines are drawn at certain times to connect their arcs at specific points in the story, whether that be through visuals or dialogue. Their starting points aren't similar (nobody has a similar story to Shigaraki, so I mean ¯\_(ツ)_/¯).

With these two I would describe it as instead of paralleling, it's more like one filling in a missing piece for the other.

What led to Bakugo being saved in the first chapter was a bunch of heroes on stand by, letting him suffocate, because they needed someone suitable for the job. And here comes Midoriya, definitely not suitable for the job (on principle), but jumps in anyway. And because of his actions, Bakugo lived.

Midoriya filled in the gap at that time.

With Tenko, it was kind of the same thing. Except instead of heroes waiting on someone suitable to do something, it was random bystanders waiting on heroes to do something. Except this time there was no Midoriya to jump in. Nobody to fill in the gap.

Because of what Midoriya did for Bakugo in chapter 1, he is now in a position to fill the gap for Shigaraki.

This is where I feel that Shigaraki is more placed alongside Bakugo in a way. Shigaraki never got what Bakugo got. And whoo hoo, that issue was just revisited recently a coupe of chapters ago. So the similarities must be important.

But I feel that Midoriya's place in Shigaraki's story is less about his arc running alongside his (it does at times, though) and more about him filling in a missing piece Shigaraki has been wanting.

Tenko was the kid everyone ignores so that a hero can take care of it.

Midoriya is the person who jumps to help when everybody else is just waiting for the right hero to take care of it.

He's the one who fills in the gap.

So when people criticize the flat parallels between the two--I kind of get it. I get it because I don't think it was necessarily just parallels we were supposed to see this entire time.

I think we were supposed to catch onto the fact that Shigaraki needs something, and that there's someone who has been shown throughout the story to be that something.

The biggest parallels I see is Midoriya’s relationship to both characters separately. Each relationship is more similar to each other, rather than Midoriya being similar to Shigaraki, or Shigaraki being similar to Bakugo. There are the details listed above, in two posts linked to, and then there are visual similarities that make me view things this way too:

Strictly a prediction here, but I feel like this will repeat itself with Shigaraki in place of Bakugo:

Idk what this means for Bakugo’s role, but I’m feeling more excited for it when I look at it this way.

[pikespendragon67]

Eh, I feel bored so I wanted to share some of my current creative ideas that I’m currently too burnt out to really work on:

First is for an original series that might be called Isolationists Club or maybe a more poetic name if I really wanna put in the effort. (Probably something with wildflowers? idk) It’s about people that usually isolate themselves for various reasons finally deciding to healthily communicate with one another. So far I have the sort of club advisor as a marriage counselor that wants to delve more into individual therapy (and is notorious for actually causing more divorces since he sees how terrifying his clients’ relationships can be) and a woman that isolates herself from bullying trauma that still lingers well into her adult years. (I wanna say she’s in her mid to late 30s or maybe 40s?) I’m gonna lean into more of the emotional trauma side for why people isolate themselves rather than general fear of being outside & such.

Next is some refinement for Octopath 3 OCs! This time with pictures from this Picrew. All of them will have musical names and music will play a big factor into the main motif of the story/final boss hopefully

Octavio the Dancer is a young lad (in his early to mis 20s) that wants to learn as many dance moves as he can, potentially finding a partner or instructor to help him do so. His ability to try to recruit others is him offering a dance, BUT! It comes at the cost of potentially fighting an NPC for that person’s hand. If Octavio loses, reputation goes down. If he wins, he can potentially summon both the original & provoked NPC into battle

Cress the Thief comes from a long line of gentleman/lady thieves, and she basically keeps the Robin Hood principle while still being able to do dirty work. Her uncle is trying to get her cousin to do more nefarious assassinations, so she’s trying to keep the family’s reputation safe. I’d say she’s 19? Also! She can sell the stuff she steals to the black market that the Merchant I’ll introduce later helps run.

Tacet’s a Hunter whose village is trying to find its new Chief. Anyone from the village that’s eligible has to go through 3 trials to prove themselves. His childhood friend’s way more competitive & hot headed about this. I’d say he’s 17.

Don’t have an O or secondary T yet, but I’ll have a placeholder for the time being

If I were to keep his original name, this would be Oliver, but I wanna keep the musical terms alive. He’s like my old OC from an original series I had, which was people with powers just living their daily lives. He’ll be the Apothecary for this, where he can actually control plants. He can concoct using ingredients he creates, but it takes a lot of energy from him. He’s 35

Picardy’s the Warrior of the group, but she’s definitely more of a mercenary than anything. Her former sworn oath partner has passed away, so she wants to fulfill his final wishes for him. I’d say she’s 37-46, depending on how I feel.

Alto’s the Scholar of the group. She may or may not be involved in starting the events for the final boss (still working on that). Like how Cyrus discovered a Philosophers Stone and Osvald had that whole thing™️ in chapter 3, Alto’s also going to have her own Fullmetal Alchemist moment! This time, I think she’s a mix of Van Hohenheim & Dr. Markel. YIPPEE!!! (Also this Picrew didn’t really let me do anything but she has streaks of white in her hair). Potentially immortal or thousands of years old, but physically is 29.

I sadly don’t have an idea for the Cleric yet, so I would like some assistance here, please. Only thing I can think of is something like. Nacho Libre? Eh.

And finally, we have Harmony the Merchant! She’s a clock engineer that’s trying to inspire her family to inherit the clock shop she works at so that she can retire easily. She’s the oldest at like 60-70. And yeah! She helps in a black market of sorts since she knows how hard it can be for people to get needed resources like medicine/engineering parts

[motheatenscarf]

thinkin bout endwalker thoughts, i liked the idea of each character confronting their own despair and overcoming it to pave a path forward, just don't love that it literally kills them to do so, even if they come right back

bcs like

the point of the existential despair is that hey, you have ONE fragile, wild life to live, so to throw it away, to as a society devalue it, uh, sucks.

it gave us a lot of good character moments, but it did feel a little cheap, to watch people sacrifice themselves with the promise that the WoL would bring them back at the end of it.

it's kinda like what emet selch went thru, huh? except instead of 10 minutes, it was 12 thousand years

which, speaking of, bringing emet selch and hythlodaeus back only for them to immediately choose death again bcs the world they knew and loved is gone and it's time to pave the way for something more is like

woof

idk, to me it's the conflict here between accepting death, which is something everyone has to do, and choosing death, which is something, that uh... people in this place at the end of the universe also keep choosing, even if the theme is that you can't give into nihilism and have to take the hurt with the joy

emet does seem hopeful to pass on the torch, to trust the future to the scions, like he finally accepts that he was wrong in denying the personhood of the sundered, even if he also says his principles were "inviolate, invincible" in trying to bring his people back anyway.

so him entrusting the sundered world to carry on and to lay down his burden isn't exactly the absolute "i am tired of living and want to die" kind of nihilism that all the shades in Ultima Thule long for that we have to overcome, but it's close enough to it that imo it kinda muddies the message a bit.

it's by no means a bad thing, just, you cannot play willy nilly with the forces of life, death, and resurrection, i know it's JRPG logic, but when the theme of your story is "Life is fleeting and terrifying and painful but still precious and worth living," then you CANNOT be so cavalier with characters dying and coming back and then stubbornly choosing to die again rather than heal and move forward.

idk, i'm dumb, and i'm bad at words, and i even still think it was a good moment, i just think it was a little... off-theme is all, even if i loved that the flowers they made got through to Meteion.

[angxliquel]

TOH AU!!

Quints a human who magically ends up in the Boiling Isles (to be determined exactly how he gets there) and wants to learn magic because. of course he does. He's overall fascinated by the coven system but also just how magic in general works. He falls into the care of (you'll never believe it) Yursl!! I don't know if she'd be something different than the owl lady, but the owl lady would be cool because imagine Johnny Steve as Hooty or something 😭

I don't know if there'd be a "King" in this au since it's technically just if the tlkoe kids were inside the TOH universe, and it's not necessarily a "Quint is Luz" or "___ is King" AU. Quint IS kind of like Luz but their motives for learning magic are slightly different, and besides Yursl being a bit of an insert of Eda, that's kinda where it ends. (watch me contradict this in like two seconds) Mainly what I'm trying to say is that this storyline doesn't follow either the toh or tlkoe cannon ones to a tee, but still has elements of both

Jack is in the Illusion Track, but I feel like later on he would start to dabble in Abomination (since it's the closest thing to his zombie powers). He's still an orphan lmao, and lives at the Boiling Isles Orphanage. He transfers to Hexide from another school about a year previous to Quint's arrival. He comes across a poorly disguised Quint who was on a supply run for Yursl, and is absolutely AMAZED by him. The boys get along immediately and begin to hang out. Jack then tries to convince Quint to enroll in Hexide, which Quint finally does later in the future. Jacks Palisman would def be Rover, who, when not in palisman form, can (maybe,idk) switch between the normal palisman size and normal Rover Size.

For June, I'd say she'd be In Abomination or Beast Keeping. I say Abomination because 1: it's cool, and 2: Blasty could be like the spiky abomination glove Amity does in Eclipse Lake when fighting against Hunter. June wouldn't keep it on as near often as she does with Blasty in the books, but she would bring it out for fights. And if she WAS in Abomination, she'd be able to help out Jack when he starts to get into it (again, doesn't follow the tlkoe canon). She's still head of the Newspaper Club, and her Palisman would be Neon

Dirk is easily the Plant Track. He COULD be Construction, but idk I just see Plant more. Imagine him doing the Plant/Whip thing Willow does in the beginning of "Any Sport in a Storm." Almost like how he was into lassoing and cowboy stuff in Book Three (I wanna say three) His palisman is Drooler!!

So basically, how everyone would meet:

Quint arrives at Hexide under the disguise of a regular witch with Jack's help. (Quint pretends to be a witch during the entrance exam, in which he barely scrapes by. Obviously this only makes him more determined) Jack brings Quint to the newspaper room (since jack is still in the newspaper) and introduces him to the club. Quint catches Junes attention cause Quint sucks at lying and she can tell somethings up. She doesn't pry into it then and there, but still keeps it in her mind. At Lunch, June talks to Dirk. Dirk and June are friends; they have sort of a sibling dynamic and confine in each other. Dirks not really a bully per say, but he still gets into trouble and June's always there to get him out of it. (As she'll do with the rest of the group, until later when she unmasks a bit and gets a lil silly too) June proposes her theory to Dirk, and of course, she's right. At first, Dirk's like "You're ridiculous", but then he REALLY starts to look at Quint and thinks it may be possible. They both decide to look into it and go full sleuth mode- or rather June does and Dirk enables it- and find out that Quint is, in fact, a human. Chaos ensues.

"You're HUMAN??"

"Uh- yes."

"I knew it!! Dirk, see, I told you-"

"June. Not the time. "

"Right, sorry."

More Chaos- June and Dirk both swear not to tattle, but uh oh! Someone else overhears the conversation and gives the principle (tbd) the headsup. All four of them are called to the office and interrogated, before Quint's disguise falls apart and they make a run for it. Like in "I was a teenage abomination", the school goes on lock down and the gang has to use their magic to get them through the school and out the exit. After all is said and done, they don't really go like "we should be friends!" but rather they start hanging out with one another more, and soon they're thick as thieves and getting themselves into all sorts of shenanigans.

(Quint is still allowed to stay at Hexide, but he tries to stall getting assigned into a coven for as long as he can. This half-works because since there's no inspector like there was in "The First Day", there's not really a need for him to pick a track immediately.)

[kingofthepossums]

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

Well let me just start by clarifying that I'm answering this ask as sort of a fun thought experiment and not an end-all be-all of what it means to be queer. And to be honest, usually I feel that trying to answer this question with a definitive solution takes away some of what's so beautiful about being queer. You'll view this as a non-answer, but, every single person is different.

You start by saying it can't be about masculinity or femininity because of sexism, but I don't really see what you mean by that. Yes, in the wider populace, masculinity and femininity are often ascribed positive and negative traits that box people in and hurt people. But there is a true difference between heterosexual insistance on playing a role you were born into, and what masculinity and femininity mean to queer people in their day-to-day lives. I'm a butch lesbian. I am a very masculine woman. I have been my whole life - even in childhood I was socialized in male friend groups. I was raised with an older male sibling. I wore boys clothes, cut my hair short, and had hobbies usually associated with boys. And I LIKE being a masculine person! I have never liked being perceived as strictly female. Why do I feel this way about myself? Why should it matter to force me to explain myself? To justify my existence? What difference does it make? My masculinity doesn't hurt people the way socialized and enforced masculinity does. I use masculinity as a principle - a love letter to dedication and protection. Is that what masculinity REALLY is? If it helps me guide my life to show kindness to others, does it matter?

And yes, my definition of female and male is based on a wider cultural zeitgeist of gender. It is impossible to separate my perception of self from the perception of the other. I will always be viewed and judged by others who are informing their worldview in implicit biases. Humans are pattern seeking - our brains are made to break down information into tiny consumable pieces in order to make quick decisions. If destroying or even giving sexism less power means removing cultural gender markers as a whole, I'm afraid to say it will never happen in all of human history. There's a reason male and female are predominant identities - it's not just because of the patriarchy, or because we all so desperately want to fit in, it's because there are easily defined traits our human brains can pull from the label "male". Language is just shorthand for very complex and personal thoughts. If every time I tried to explain my complicated senses of self perception and the role I play in the world, I'd have to give a god damn master thesis everytime someone asked for my pronouns. Y'know what gets the message across much faster? That I'm both. And there are still questions there, of course, because the wider populace is still unfamiliar with a general understanding of queer gender identity, but they shouldn't have to be experts, and that's why it's imperitive to simplify things into labels. The reality is that not everyone has the resources to do research and to understand, and when people don't understand they want answers.

The answer "I feel I am both a man and a woman" has a lot less questions to answer than "well, my relationship to womanhood is strained by broader social understandings of what it means to be female, so as a kid I always felt sort of forced to play a role I had no part in and for a long time I was very defiant about hating feminity and had a personal crusade against what it meant to be a girl. Now I've had some time to grow and learn and have met people who love the effeminate identity and who are strengthened by that identity and feel empowered to show kindness and empathy through that identity and I understand now the appeal of womanhood, which is, to me, as informed by broader social implications and queer recontextualizations, a softness of character and an empathetic outlook. I appreciate the community that grows around womanhood which is often cultivated and deep, where men's social bonds tend to be less emotionally involved. Now, that's in part caused by expectations for men to be strong and to not rely on others, which does mean that decision is grounded in some part by toxic masculinity-".

That's not helpful. It's confusing and personal and leaves more questions than answered for most people. That's why sexual and gender identities are vital. So now that we understand the imperitive social niche of a label for your sexuality and gender, we can see why these labels also can't be more than a personal decision based on interest.

You say that it can't be based on personal identity because someone could lie about? But that's just counterproductive. What good would it do for me to lie about being straight, for example? Sure, I might socially be percieved better in certain circles, but MY social circles are mostly other queer folks who hold some value in me because of our shared understanding of queer identity. Not to mention the internal pain of denying an innate piece of self that gives me confidence and guides me with personal principles of chivalry, protectiveness and honor.

And let's not even really entertain some sort of abuser argument - if your implication in "fake" queers is based on those who want to manipulate and hurt others, the problem is them wanting to manipulate and hurt others, not the queer identity itself. More straight people as a percentage abuse than queer people, but we don't decry heterosexuality as an illegitimacy because of that fraction. The reality is that most abusers you will meet in your lifetime seem like perfectly normal, average day-to-day people. It's part of their grift - "goodness" is a social tool that can be used to attack sensitive communities, just the same as queerness, just the same as any other community that has values. I work with kids as my job. In safety training, the first thing we're taught is that any attempt to identify an abuser on the very outset will almost always be a failure. Abusers intentionally hide under identities that ingratiate themselves to others, and the solution isn't to keep any community with abusers out of kids' lives, because the reality is that every community, no matter how thoroughly picked through, can have abusers. We as a collective just have to respond as soon as possible to identified manipulative behavior to keep the kids I work with safe and healthy. I would argue the same thing for any sensitive group, not just children, and I would argue the same thing for any community, regardless of what that community is.

As for the animal kingdom, we do lots of things that animals do for different reasons than them. Lots of animals build nests - why should humans decorate theirs? If we can't differentiate complex and culture-based human interaction from animal sexual reproductive purposes, we also can't separate every other elevated human action that is based in an instinct. The bottom line is that human culture IS an evolved trait of human beings, one that differentiates us from other animals and one that means we can't equivocate animal actions with human ones. We DO experience attraction because of more complicated social and developmental reasons than animals do. There is no species on the planet besides human beings who have a fraction of their populace that can only cum by watching a dinosaur fuck a car. That's not an evolved behavior. Every human being, no matter how "vanilla" percieves sexuality through a lense informed by the world around them. It's a fallacy in the first place to even make a comparison of the two at all.

Here's what's really going on here. I think your question, which I'm assuming is made in a good faith curiousity about human beings and not an attempt to get me to put my foot in my mouth, is based in an incompatible interpretation of reality from mine. And you shut yourself out of a whole world of beauty by insisting that "vibes alone isn't a real answer". That's just not true. Our feelings, however small or seemingly meaningless to others, deserve an acknowledgment and an understanding. We have a whole society based on helping people we don't understand. Every day I meet people who diametrically oppose my beliefs and experiences, but my goal for this life on Earth is to be happy and make others happy with me. The guy at the post office doesn't need to know I'm a Bigender Lesbian Dyke. But what he does need to do is acknowledge my humanity, and care about me anyways. We are all obligated to care for each other because if we don't, and we try to draw a line in the sand for what's "acceptable" to respect in human beings, we will always be cutting off good people who deserve equity and kindness. Even in "bad" (whatever that means) demographics like drug addicts and criminals. Even the act of definition is a cruelty I'm unwilling to inflict on another person.

I define my life. Nobody else does. You define yours. Nobody else does. When a gay man in my community approaches me to talk about being gay, I implicitly believe him because that is my duty as another human being. The goal cannot be scrutiny. The goal is joy. And if describing himself as a gay man brings him joy, that is something I cannot put a stop to, nor do I have any interest in stopping. What I can do, is that if this gay man becomes a community member who makes life worse for the people around him, I can remove him from my community. And that's the end of that.

The answer to your question is that a man will look at the other men in his life, and, based on a series of generalizations about people, gender, sexuality and his own nature, will decide if the label gay suits what he's feeling. If it doesn't he'll look for something else, because using a label isnt meant to truly define, but to connect people who feel similarly about something. If that's a non-answer to you, I think we just won't agree. But that's ok. We don't have to. I would just remind you that if your goal isn't to show kindness and understanding to everyone around you, you can't be part of the communities I form online or in the real world. And that's ok too. Hope that answers your question, and just so you know, I won't really elaborate on this because I've said what I need to and I'd rather get back to reblogging funny penis memes. Have a good day!

[greatwyrmgold]

Seeing as how like, Katana Man’s grandfather was basically Denji’s boss, I honestly think a rather interesting au would be if he actually knew Denji as a Teenager when Denji first got the debt laid on him and gradually started warming up to him, seeing him as a younger brother or something despite what his grandfather is doing, and things drastically take a turn during the Zombie Devil thing. Idk, this idea just came to me, it’s probably not a good one but I figured I’d share.

Not sure why you wanted to share it on my blog, but yeah, that does sound like a cool AU idea!

It's a shame that we don't know what he was like before his grandfather's death. But that just means the writer has lots of freedom in plotting the hypothetical fanfic. And it's not like we know nothing about pre-Katana-Devil Katana Man.

(It would be nice if we knew his name...I'll call him Ken, which means "sword" in Japanese, and also sounds like an amusingly Western name for such a yakuza's yakuza.)

Ken isn't just any yakuza goon, and he's not just the oyabun's* grandson. He's internalized the yakuza's ideology and accepted its violence, to the point that he idolizes his grandpa for only killing a few women and children. Not for limiting violence in general, or even a consistent code against killing the "innocent," but just not killing them as much as he could have.

*We don't actually know the old man's rank, but it felt weird just calling him a yakuza boss. It would be like calling Vito Corleone a Mafia kuromaku. Or at least it feels that way.

Ken also has a strong sense of right and wrong. He knows that killing is wrong, even if he accepts the yakuza's justifications for it; he feels this so strongly that he feels guilt over killing zombies. If Chainsaw Man was instead Katana Man, Ken (or whatever his actual name is) might have a character arc where his guilt over killing people lead to him questioning some of his other principles. His blind trust in authority, for instance, which fits well with a certain devil (whose involvement is a big spoiler for anime-onlies, let's not name it).

But at the same time, Ken probably inherited a certain privileged mindset. He doesn't get much of a chance to talk about his beliefs, but it's hard to see him tell off Denji for killing his grandpa in self-defense and not conclude that Ken thinks some lives are more valuable than others.

Beyond that...it's a really obvious conflict between young Denji and young Ken, isn't it? Ken was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, especially compared to Denji. Denji inherited his dad's accounts payable, Ken stands to inherit his grandpa's accounts receivable. (Better than calling both of them "debt".)

Anyways. Ken respects Denji's hard work and obedience., but he doesn't understand Denji. Denji doesn't have a choice. Ken is obedient because he believes in his grandfather and wants to work for him; Denji is obedient because the other option is death. When he turns on the yakuza, it's at least in part because not turning on them is deadlier than doing so. (Also because the yakuza abused him and Denji's a petty dick sometimes.)

So we have two youths who assume they have a lot in common, only to realize that beneath the surface they're nothing alike. Denji would probably catch on first, both because this kind of thing is more visible from below and because Denji's specific circumstances mean he needs to act like the kind of person Ken thinks he is. Ken might not realize Denji is anything but another loyal soldier (just a private instead of a lieutenant) until he starts killing ex-yakuza and bails. (Or however the Zombie Devil incident goes.)

Anyways, I've rambled on long enough. There's another Chainsaw Man fanfic I'm halfway started on writing, I'm not going to pick up this prompt. Hopefully someone else does, though!

[thelemmallama]

my views on suicide

i do think under some circumstances a person really is better off dead. if they agree they are suffering and there's nothing anyone can do to alleviate that, i think it's cruel to keep them alive and that's not an indictment on their character or anything; when i say they're better off dead, i really mean it's what's best for them. we instinctively feel like saying someone should die always carries the connotation that the person who 'should' die is a bad person and they should die because death is bad and they deserve bad things. that's not what i'm saying at all; i'm saying they're a good person and thus they should die if there's no other way to alleviate their suffering because in that situation death is a good thing and they deserve good things.

and yes, there are practical considerations for the possibility of abuse if we allowed that, but it's the principle i'm talking about here. if hypothetically there was a way to know if someone is suffering pain that can only be alleviated via death and this indicator was always 100% accurate with no possibility for abuse, i think the person should be allowed to die.

aside from that though, there are situations where i still think it's dangerous to validate someone's desire for death:

when they just think their pain cannot be alleviated when it actually can

when they think they're a bad person and deserves bad things, and thus think they should die because they see death as a bad thing rather than an escape from suffering (a good thing)

when they think they're a burden on others, and want to alleviate that burden through whatever means necessary (including death)

case 1: i don't feel like it's our place to insist that they're wrong and there is hope unless we actually put in the effort to prove to them that there is hope. perhaps begging them to keep going and not give up would help if there are elements of case 2 and/or case 3 mixed in there, but in a pure case 1, it would just frustrate them when they're already doing everything they can in their situation (which they know more about than you do) and you're basically telling them they're just not trying hard enough.

you need to really make an effort to work out their situation with them; be ready to hear that what you suggested to them has already been tried but doesn't work. sometimes it's legit just shit-life syndrome; are you ready to help them apply for benefits, or straight up financially support them yourself if that's not an option? how far are you actually willing and able to go to help this person? because this is the kind of stuff they need to deal with. and sometimes the reality is that no-one in their area, themselves included, have the resources to do what's necessary to make their lives stop being shit, and that's why they feel hopeless.

but it's still dangerous to accept their decision without investigating how hopeless their situation really is. it can be nice to hear 'okay i believe you; if you say there's nothing you can do i trust you know what you're talking about', but if you and they happen to be wrong, it's an irreversible situation at stake here. i think if you don't have the energy to really investigate, it's better to say nothing at all. or just focus on validating their worth as a person in case there's a bit of case 2 mixed in there; without any comment on whether there's hope in their situation

case 2: this is probably the case that makes me feel the most iffy about supporting the right to die. if you validate their suicidal desires and say 'i hope you find peace' or whatever, they might read it as 'okay see this person is okay with me dying so i really am worthless', and conversely if you convery strong aversion to them dying they might think 'oh, this person is so upset at the prospect of me dying even knowing what a terrible person i am?' so idk. maybe it might be okay if you make it 100% clear you only support them dying if it's for their own good, but if they want to die because they think they're worthless or a bad person, you're 100% against that?

case 3: really boils down to case 1 or case 3 depending on whether the people supporting them agree they're a burden. if they do, are you able to get this person out of there and establish them in a place where they only depend on people who don't think they're a burden? if they don't, but the suicidal person can see how much of a toll they're taking on the people supporting them anyway no matter how much said supporters insist they aren't a burden, it's still an issue with self-worth (case 2) because no matter how hard things are for their supporters, they chose to support them and so they should respect their supporters' agency to make choices that cause their lives to be more difficult, unless the suicidal person believes said agency is compromised due to their supporters believing they're more worthy of support than they actually are.

in short, there are really 2 different situations here:

i am good and death is good thus i should die

i am bad and death is bad thus i should die

and the conflation of the two i feel is what often leads to people being anti-death at all costs and feel like people who support the right to die are heartless bastards.

of course conflation is understandable since in reality suicidal people often have a mix of the two, which might seem weird but they both justify death and are thus 'soldiers on the same side of the battle' in that sense. plus the feeling of being a burden feeds into both, and originates from both (suffering often stemming from illness or extreme poverty which leads to depending on others, and low self worth leads to feeling like you're a negative presence in the lives of anyone you associate with). in fact, sometimes it becomes a total 'two negatives make a positive' situation where we believe 'i am bad and death is good, thus i shouldn't die'.

but still, it really helps to consider the two seperately sometimes to really understand the nuance of whether we should have the right to die, and maybe to understand one's own suicidal thoughts as well. for instance:

if someone else is in your exact situation; someone who's good and deserves good things; do you think they should die? what would you want them to do? would you feel worse for them if they killed themself, or continued to struggle? if it depends on whether their struggles are successful, do you think their struggles will be successful?

if all your worst problems (material, social and mental) were solved, you are in a sustainably comfortable situation and you can now live in peace without struggling with those unbearably painful parts of your life, do you (as you are now) consider that a happy ending? or do you think that'll be unfair, that it means you got away scot free with being a bad person and you did nothing to earn this happiness and don't deserve it at all?

if it depends on whether you actually got there through your own efforts, do you think you're capable of that? if not, is it because you're lazy, or don't have the energy? because you're manipulative, or struggle to control your emotions? because you're willfully ignorant, or have trouble understanding others? how do you frame your shortcomings?

if you can't get there through your own efforts because of factors outside your control, what's the problem with you getting there thanks to some outside force helping you? is it because it would be meaningless? is it because you would be burdening them? what if they don't see it as a burden?

[pumpkinpaix]

Pleeeeeeease get into the class one at some point because I very much want to understand the class dynamics happening in the story but I have yet to find a meta that dives into it

god anon you want me dead don’t you alsjdfljks

referring to this post

okay, so -- my specific salt about class interpretations in mdzs are very targeted. I can’t pretend to have a deep understanding of how class works in mdzs generally because uhhhhh yeah i don’t think i have that. i’m just not familiar enough with the genre and/or the particulars of chinese class systems. but! i can talk in general terms as to why I feel a certain way about the class dynamics that I do think I understand and how I think they relate to the themes of the novel! i’m gonna talk about wei wuxian, the daozhangs, xue yang, and 3zun with, I’m sure, a bunch of digressions along the way.

the usual disclaimers: i do not think you are a bad person if you hold opinions contrary to my own. i may disagree with you very strongly, but like. this isn’t a moral judgment, fandom is transformative and interpretive etc. etc. and i may change my mind. who knows what the future will bring!

OKAY so let’s begin!

here’s the thing about wei wuxian: he’s not poor. I think because characters use “son of a servant” kind of often when they’re trying to insult him, a lot of people latch onto that and think that it’s a much stronger indication of his societal status than it actually is. iirc, most of the insults that fall along the “son of a servant” line come after wei wuxian starts breaking severely from tradition. it’s a convenient thing to attack him for, but doesn’t actually indicate anything about his wealth. (exception: yu ziyuan, but that’s a personal familial issue) this is in direct contrast to jin guangyao who is constantly mocked for his family line, publicly and privately, no matter what he does.

so this, coupled with all the jokes about wwx never having any money (wei wuqian, sizhui’s “i’ve long since known you had no money” etc.), plus his like, rough years on the street as a child ends up producing this interpretation of wei wuxian, especially in modern aus, as someone who is very class conscious and “eat the rich”. but the fact of the matter is, wei wuxian IS rich. aside from the years in his childhood and the last two years of his life in yiling, like -- wei wuxian had money and status. he is gentry. he is respected as gentry. he is treated as a son by the sect leader of yunmeng jiang -- he does not have the jiang name, but it is so very clear that jiang fengmian favors him. wei wuxian is ranked fourth of all the eligible young masters in the cultivation world -- that is not a ranking he could have attained without being accepted into the upper class.

wei wuxian’s poverty does not affect him in the way that it affects jin guangyao or xue yang. he is of low-ish birth (still the son of jiang fengmian’s right hand man though! ok sure, “son of a servant” but like. >_> whatever anyways), but for most of his life he had money. he, jiang cheng, and their sect brothers go into town and steal lotus pods with the understanding that “jiang-shushu will pay for it”. this is a regular thing! that’s fucking rich kid behavior!!! wei wuxian is careless with money because he doesn’t have to worry about it. he still has almost all the benefits of being upper class: education, food security, respect, recognition etc. I think there may also be a misconception that wei wuxian was always on the verge of being kicked out by yu ziyuan, or that he was constantly walking on eggshells around her for fear of being disowned, but that is just textually untrue. i could provide receipts, but I admittedly don’t really feel like digging them up just now ;;

even in his last years in yiling, he was not the one who was dealing with the acute knowledge of poverty: wen qing is the one managing the money, and as far as we know, wei wuxian did little to no management of daily life during the burial mounds days -- mostly, he’s described as hiding in his cave for days on end, working on his inventions, running around like a force of chaos, frivolously making a mess of things -- it’s very very cute that he buries a’yuan in the dirt, but in classic wei wuxian fashion, he did Not think about the practical consequences of it -- that A’Yuan has no other clean clothes, and now he’s gotten this set dirty and has no intention of washing them. is this a personality thing? yeah, but I think it’s also indicative of his lack of concern over the logistics of everyday survival, re: wealth.

furthermore, i think it is important to remember that wei wuxian, when he is protecting the wen remnants, is not protecting common folk: he is still protecting gentry. fallen gentry, yes! but gentry nonetheless. wen qing was favored by wen ruohan, and wen ning himself says that he has a retinue of people under his command (the remnants, essentially). their branch of the family do not have the experience of living and growing in poverty -- they are impoverished and persecuted in their last years, but that’s a very different thing from being impoverished your whole life. (sidenote: I do not believe wei wuxian’s primary motivation for defending the wen remnants was justice -- i believe he did it because he felt he owed wen ning and wen qing a life debt, and once he was there, he wasn’t going to stand around and let the work camps go on. yes, he is concerned about justice and doing the right thing, but that’s not why he went in the first place. anyways, that’s another meta)

after wei wuxian returns, he then marries back into gentry, and very wealthy gentry at that. lwj provides him all the money he could ever want, he is never worried about going homeless, starving, being denied opportunities based on his class and accompanying disadvantages. who would dare? and neither wei wuxian nor lan wangji seem to have much interest in shaking up the order of things, except in little things like the way they teach the juniors. they live in gusu, under the auspices of the lan, and they live a happy, domestic life.

were his years on the street traumatizing? yes, of course they were, there’s so much delicious character exploration to be done re: wei wuxian’s relationship to food, his relationship to his own needs, and his relationship to the people he loves. it’s all important and good! but I feel very strongly that that experience, while it was formative for him, did not impart any true understanding of poverty and the common person’s everyday struggles, nor do I think he ever really gains that understanding. he is observant and canny and aware of class and blood, certainly, but not in a way that makes it his primary hill to die on (badum-tss).

this is in very stark contrast to characters like jin guangyao and xue yang, and to some extent, xiao xingchen and song lan. I’ll start with the daozhangs, because I think they’re the simplest (??).

I think both xiao xingchen and song lan have class consciousness, but in a very simplified, broad-strokes kind of way (at least, given the information we know about them). we know that the two of them share similar values and want to one day form their own sect that gives no weight to the nobility of your lineage and has no concern with your wealth. we also know that they both disdain intersect politics and are more concerned with ideals and principles rather than status. but, I think because of that, this actually somewhat limits their perception and understanding of how status is used to oppress. as far as we know, neither of them participated on any side in sunshot and they demonstrate much more interest in relating to the commoners. honestly, i hc that they were flitting around trying to help decimated towns, protecting defenseless villages etc. I ALSO think this has a lot of interesting potential in terms of xiao xingchen and wei wuxian’s relationship, if xiao xingchen is ever revived. regardless of whether you’re in CQL or novel verse, xiao xingchen really doesn’t know wei wuxian at all, other than knowing that he’s his shijie’s son. he knows that cangse-sanren met with a tragic end, like yanling-daoren before her, and that he wants to be different. but here is cangse-sanren’s son, laying waste to entire cities, desecrating the dead. I would very much like to get into xiao xingchen’s head during that period of time (and i think, if i do it right, i can write some of it into the songxiao fixit), but that’s neither here nor there, because i’ve wandered off from my point again.

i would posit that song lan is used to an ascetic lifestyle, and xiao xingchen probably is too -- but that’s different from poverty because there’s an element of choice to it. I also think that neither of them is particularly worldly, xiao xingchen especially. he lived on an isolated mountain until he was like, seventeen, and he came down full of ideals and naivete about how the world worked. I think that both of them see inequality, that they are angered by it, and that they want to do something about it -- but their solution is neither to topple the sects, nor is it to reform the system. rather, it seems to be more about withdrawing and creating their own removed world. I think that the daozhangs embody a kind of utopianism that isn’t present in the minds of any of the other characters, not even wangxian. honestly, baoshan-sanren’s mountain is a utopian ideal, but one that is not described. it exists outside of and beyond the world. i have a lot of jumbled, vague thoughts about utopianism generally, mostly informed by china miéville and ursula k. le guin, and I don’t think i have the ability to articulate them here, but i wanted to. hm. say something? there is something about the inherent dystopianism contained within every utopia, that utopias are necessary, but also reflections of the existence of terrible things in their conception. idk. there’s something in there, I know it!! but i suppose what I want to say is -- i do not think the daozhangs understand class and social hierarchy very deeply because they don’t see a need to examine it deeply. for their goals, the details aren’t the point. they’re not looking to reform within the system, they’re looking to build something outside of it. I think they spend a lot of time concerned with alleviating the symptoms of social oppression, and their values reflect the injustices they witness there.

regardless, even if their story ends in tragedy and there is a certain amount of critique re: the utopian approach, i think the text still emphasizes that xiao xingchen left a utopia and that he thought that people mattered enough for him to try, and that was an incredibly honorable, kind, and human thing to do.

YEAH SURE THE DAOZHANGS ARE THE SIMPLEST ok ok RETURNING to class and moving forward: xue yang.

i also don’t think xue yang has class consciousness lol, or not in any way that really matters, but I do think poverty impacted him in a much stronger way than it impacted wei wuxian. wei wuxian spent some years on the street as a child. xue yang grew up on the streets. chang ci’an’s horrific treatment of him was directly due to his class and social standing: chang ci’an is a nobleman and xue yang is not even worth the dirt beneath the wheels of his cart. what I think is the seminal point though, is that this does not make xue yang think particularly deeply about systemic injustice, because xue yang is so self-centered, self-driven, and individualistic. he is not even slightly concerned about how poverty and class might affect other people -- they’re other people. what he takes away from his experience is not an anger at being wrongfully cheated by a system, but an anger at being wrongfully cheated by a specific man.

xue yang is not particularly concerned with the politics of the aristocracy -- he has no obvious ambitions other than, “i want to eat sweets whenever i please”, “i want to hurt anyone who wrongs me”, and “i want to be so strong that no one can hurt me”. like, he just doesn’t care -- it’s not the kind of power he wants. he sneers at people for like, personal reasons, not class reasons -- “you think you’re better than me” re: xiao xingchen and song lan. to him, all people -- poor, wealthy, noble, common -- are essentially equal, and they are all beneath him. after all, what does he care what family someone comes from, how much money they have? everyone bleeds when you cut them. some of them might be harder to get to than others, but xue yang does not fear that sort of thing. it’s just another obstacle he needs to vault on his way to getting revenge and/or a pastry.

ANYWAYS onto jin guangyao (wow this is hm. getting rather long ahaha oh dear): I would argue that the two characters with the most acute understanding of class/societal politics and the injustice of them are jin guangyao and lan xichen. i’ll start with jin guangyao for obvious reasons.

where xue yang took the damaging effects of poverty as personal slights, I think jin guangyao is painfully aware that there is nothing personal about them, which is, in some ways, much worse. why are two sons, born on the same day to the same father, treated so differently? just because.

he watched his mother struggle and starve and work herself to the bone in a profession where she was constantly disrespected and abused for almost nothing in return, while his father could have lifted her out of poverty with the wave of a finger. why didn’t he? because he didn’t like her? no -- because he didn’t care, and the structures of the society they live in protect that kind of blase treatment of the lower class.

“so my mother couldn’t choose her own fate, is that her fault?” jin guangyao demands. he knows that he is unbelievably talented, that he has ambition, that he has potential, and that all of it is beyond his grasp just because his father didn’t want to bother with it. his mother’s life was destroyed, and his own opportunities were crippled with that negligence. it isn’t personal. that’s just the way things are. your individual identity is meaningless, your humanity does not exist. when he’s kicked down the steps of jinlin tai, it’s just more confirmation that no matter how talented or hardworking he is, no one will give him the time of day unless he finds a way to take it himself and become someone who “matters”.

jin guangyao’s cultivation is weak because he had a poor foundation, and he had a poor foundation because he was denied access to a good one. he copies others because that’s all he can do at this point, and he copies so well that he can hold his own against some of the strongest cultivators of his generation. he’s disparaged for copying and “stealing” techniques, but -- he never would have had to if only he had been born/accepted into the upper class. the fact is that i really do think jin guangyao was the most promising cultivator of his generation that we meet, including the twin jades and wei wuxian: he had natural talent, ambition, creativity, determination and cunning in spades. in some ways, I think that’s one of the overlooked tragedies of jin guangyao: the loss of not just the good man he could have been, but the powerful one too. imagine what he could have done.

jin guangyao spends his entire time in the world of the aristocracy feeling unsteady and terrified because he knows exactly how precarious his position is. he knows how easy it is to lose power, especially for someone like him. he’s working against so many disadvantages, and every scrap of honor he gets is a vicious battle. jin guangyao fears, and I think that’s something that’s lacking in xue yang, wei wuxian and the daozhangs’ experiences/understandings of poverty. i think it’s precisely that fear that emphasizes jin guangyao’s understanding of class and blood. jin guangyao exhibits an anxiety that neither wei wuxian nor xue yang do, and it’s because he truly knows how little he is worth in the eyes of society and how little there is he can do to change that. to me, it very much feels related to the anxiety of not knowing if tomorrow you’ll have something to eat, if tomorrow you’ll still have a home, if tomorrow someone will destroy you and never have to answer for it. it’s the anxiety of knowing helplessness intimately.

moreover, jin guangyao is the only person shown to use the wealth and power at his disposal to take concrete steps to actually help the common people typically ignored by the powerful -- the watchtowers. they’re described in chapter 42. it’s a system that is designed to cover remote areas that most cultivators are reluctant to go due to their inconvenience and the lack of means of the people who live there. the watchtowers assign cultivators to different posts, give aid to those previously forgotten, and if the people are too poor to pay what the cultivators demand, the lanling jin sect pays for it. jin guangyao worked on this for five years and burned a lot of bridges over it. people were strongly opposed to it, thinking that it was some kind of ploy for lanling jin’s personal benefit. but the thing is -- it worked. they were effective. people were helped.

i believe CQL frames the watchtowers as an allegory for a surveillance state/centralized control (i think?? it’s been a minute -- that’s the hazy impression i remember, something like a parallel to the wen supervisory offices?), but I personally don’t think that was the intent in the novel. the watchtowers are a public good. lanling jin doesn’t staff them with their own sect members -- they get nearby sects to staff them. it’s a warning network that they fund that’s supposed to benefit everyone, even those that everyone had considered expendable.

(did jin guangyao do terrible things to achieve this goal? yeah lol. it’s not confirmed, but his son sure did die... suspiciously...... at the hands of an outspoken critic of the watchtowers........ whom he then executed....... so like, maybe just a convenient coincidence for jin guangyao, two birds one stone, but. it seems. Unlikely.)

lan xichen is the only member of the gentry that ever shows serious compassion for and nuanced understanding of jin guangyao’s circumstances. lan xichen treats him as his equal regardless of jin guangyao’s current status -- even when he was meng yao, lan xichen treated him as a human being worthy of respect, as someone with great merits, as someone he would choose as a friend, but he did so knowing full well the delicate position meng yao occupied. this is in direct contrast to nie mingjue, who also believed that meng yao was worthy of respect as a human being, but was completely unable to comprehend the complexities of his circumstances and unwilling to grant him any grace. you know, the difference between “i acknowledge that your birth and status have had effects upon you, but I don’t think less of you for it” and “i don’t consider your birth and status at all when i interact with you because i think it is irrelevant” (“i don’t see color” anyone?)

to illustrate, from chapter 48:

大抵是觉得娼妓之子身上说不定也带着什么不干净的东西，这几名修士接过他双手奉上来的茶盏后，并不饮下，而是放到一边，还取出雪白的手巾，很难受似的，有意无意反复擦拭刚才��过茶盏的手指。聂明玦并非细致之人，未曾注意到这种细节，魏无羡却用眼角余光扫到了这些。孟瑶视若未见，笑容不坠半分，继续奉茶。蓝曦臣接过茶盏之时，抬眸看他一眼，微笑道：“多谢。”

旋即低头饮了一口，这才继续与聂明玦交谈。旁的修士见了，有些不自在起来。

rough tl:

Probably because they believed that the son of a prostitute might also carry some unclean things upon his person, after these few cultivators took the teacups offered from [Meng Yao’s] two hands, they did not drink, but instead put them to one side, and furthermore brought out snow white handkerchiefs. Quite uncomfortably, and whether they were aware of it or not, they repeatedly wiped the fingers they had just used to touch the teacups. Nie Mingjue was not a detail-oriented person and never took note of such particulars, but Wei Wuxian caught these in the corner of his eye. Meng Yao appeared as if he had not seen, his smile unwavering in the slightest, and continued to serve tea. When Lan Xichen took the teacup, he glanced up at him and, smiling, said, “Thank you.”

He immediately dipped his head to take a sip, and only then continued to converse with Nie Mingjue. Seeing this, the nearby cultivators began to feel somewhat uneasy.

all right, since we’re in full cyan-rampaging-through-the-weeds mode at this point, i’m going to talk about how this is one of my favorite 3zun moments in the entire novel for characterization purposes because it really highlights how they all relate to one another, and to what degree each of them is aware of their own position in relation to the others and society as a whole.

1. nie mingjue, who is a forthright and blunt person, sets meng yao to serving tea and is done with it. he notices nothing wrong or inappropriate about the reactions of the people in the room because it’s not the sort of thing he considers important.

2. meng yao, knowing that his only avenue is to take it lying down with a smile, masks perfectly.

3. lan xichen, noticing all this, uses his own reputation to achieve two things at once: pointedly shame the other cultivators in attendance, and show meng yao that regardless of others’ opinions, he considers him an equal and does not endorse such behavior--and he does it while taking care that no fallout will come down on meng yao’s head.

is this yet another installment of cyan’s endless lxc defense thesis? why yes it is! no one is surprised! but this is my whole point: both meng yao and lan xichen understand the respective hierarchy and power dynamics within the room, while nie mingjue very much does not. this is not because nie mingjue is a bad person or because nie mingjue is stupid--it’s a combination of personality and upbringing. nie mingjue is straightforward and has no patience for such games. but then again, he can afford not to play because he was born into such a high position: that’s a privilege.

to break it down: meng yao knows that he is the lowest-ranked person in the room, sees the way people are subtly disrespecting him in full view of his general who is doing nothing about it. in some ways, this is good -- nie mingjue’s style of dealing with conflict is very direct and not at all suited to delicate political maneuvering. after all, the way he promoted meng yao was actually quite dangerous to meng yao: he essentially guaranteed that his men would bear meng yao a grudge and that their disrespect for him would only be compounded by their bitterness at being punished on his behalf. (it’s like, why often getting parents or teachers to intervene ineffectively in bullying can just be an incitement to more bullying -- same concept) meng yao’s reaction during that scene shows that he’s pretty painfully aware of this and is trying to defuse the situation to no avail. nie mingjue gives him a bootstrap speech (rip nie mingjue i love u so much but. sir) and then promotes him, which is pretty much the only saving grace of that entire exchange, for meng yao at least.

lan xichen, on the other hand, understands both that meng yao is the lowest-ranked person in the room and that any direct attempt to chastise the other cultivators in the room will only serve to hurt meng yao in the long run. he knows that if this were brought to nie mingjue’s attention, he would be outraged and not shy about it -- also bad for meng yao. so he uses what he has: his immaculate reputation. by acting contrary to the other cultivators’ behavior, he demonstrates that he finds their actions unacceptable but with the plausible deniability that it wasn’t directed at them, that this is just zewu-jun being his usual generous self. this means that the other cultivators have no one to blame but themselves, nothing to do but question their own actions. there is nowhere to cast off their discomfort. meng yao didn’t do anything. lan xichen didn’t do anything -- he just thanked meng yao and drank his tea, isn’t that what it’s there for? he doesn’t disrupt the peace, he doesn’t attack anyone and put them on the defensive, but he does make his position very clear.

i know this is a really small thing and i’m probably beating it to death, but I really think this shows just how cognizant lan xichen is of politics and emotional cause and effect in such situations. certainly, out of context I think the scene reads kind of cliche, but within the greater narrative of the story and within the arc of these characters specifically, I think it was a really smart scene to include. it also showcases lan xichen’s style of action: that he moves around and with a problematic situation as opposed to moving straight through.

not to be salty on main again, but this is why it’s very frustrating to me when I see people call lan xichen passive when he is anything but. his actions just don’t look like traditional “actions”, especially to an american audience. it’s easy to understand lan wangji and wei wuxian’s style of problem-solving: taking a stand, moving through, staying strong. lan xichen is juggling an inconceivable number of factors in any given situation, weighing his responsibilities in one role against those in another, and then trying to find the path through the thicket that will cause the least harm, both to himself and the thicket. lan wangji and wei wuxian are not particularly good at considering the far-reaching consequences of their actions -- again, not because they are bad people, but because of a combination of personality and upbringing. they’d just hack through the thicket, not thinking about the creatures that live in it. that is not a terrible thing! it isn’t. it’s a different way of approaching a problem, and it has different priorities. that’s okay. there are advantages and disadvantages on both sides, and where you come down is going to depend on your personal values.

okay we’ve spiraled far and away from my original point, but let’s circle back: i was talking about class.

I think it’s undeniable that class, birthright, fate etc. are some of the driving forces of thematic conflict in mdzs, and the way each character interacts with those forces reveals a lot about themselves and also about the larger themes of fate, chance, and what it means to be righteous and good and how that is and isn’t rewarded. a lot of the tragedy of mdzs (the tragedy that isn’t caused by direct aggression on the part of one group or another) stems from the injustices and slights that people suffered due to their lot in life. it isn’t fair. none of it is fair! we sympathize with jin guangyao because we recognize that what he suffered was unconscionable, even if we don’t excuse him. i sympathize A Lot with xue yang as well for similar reasons, though I understand that’s a harder sell. this is a story focused on the mistakes of an entrenched, aging gentry and the effects that those mistakes had on their children, and a lot of it has to do with prejudice based in class and birth status. whether the prejudice was the true reason or whether it was just a convenient excuse, the fact remains that the systems in place rewarded and protected the people in power who used it to cling to that power. mdzs is also a story of how the circumstances of one’s life can offer you impossible choices that you cannot abstain from, and it asks us to be compassionate to the people who made terrible choices in terrible times. it’s about the inherent complexity in all things! that sometimes, there are no good choices, and i don’t know, i’d like to think that people would show me compassion if I had to make the choices some of these characters did. not just wei wuxian, mind you, every single one of them. except jin guangshan because I Do Hate Him sorry. and i guess wen ruohan. i think that’s it.

good. GOD this is clocking in at //checks notes -- just over 5k. 8′D *stuffs some weeds into my mouth like the clown i am*

(ko-fi? :’D *lies down*)

[bakugohoex]

can you please write a fic where youre aizawas' wife and you're pregnant with twins, and while he's in the middle of teaching at UA you go into labor and you call him, and he leaves in the middle of their class, (the class dosen't know he's married and obviously dosen't know he's about to become a father) and the class thinks that something's seriously wrong because they saw panic on his face for a slight second when he got the call, so they end up following him to the hospital only to see him sniling and holding two newborn babies that look just like him and the woman who is on the hospital bed (you) and theyre in shock when they find out that you're his wife and those are his kids, but what shocks them most is the big smile on his face when he was holding his babies 🥺 idk i thought it would be cute

“did he steal two babies?”

pairing: shouta aizawa x female reader

cw: language, fluff

word count: 3000+

a/n: i live for domestic one shots, i might write some more depending on how i’m feeling, hope you guys like this have a happy new years eve people, the stupid tags arent working so if you could reblog it it would mean a lot 

summary: in which you’re aizawa’s secret wife, aizawa gets a call in the middle of class that you’re going into labor and eventually leaves, the class being noisy pricks follows him to a hospital, feeling worried they continue to follow until they see him holding two babies with a smile at his new family

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

Eight months, eight full fucking months of carrying Aizawa’s little spawns. Having spent your last term of pregnancy on bed rest, it had been the worst term ever, you would rather have taken the puking up last nights dinner then staying in bed. Even Aizawa had gotten annoyed with how frustrated you had got, you craved how he could get up and leave for work. You hadn’t gone into work since your maternity leave started and you were annoyed, being a pro hero it had been worse.

As soon as you told the agency you were pregnant, you were desk bound, unable to go on patrols. It was fucking annoying and you hated every second of it, and all Aizawa could do was smirk at your frustration. “I’m due any day now, just leave work and stay with me.” You plead grabbing the material from his neck, you wanted him to hold you. You already felt gross staying in bed 24/7 but now you didn’t have your husband beside you 24/7.

“Kitten, this is my last day, I’ll spend the rest of the pregnancy with you.” You were grouchy letting go of him and turning your head to face away for him. “Y/n.”

He tried to gain your attention but ignored him, “you should’ve gotten pregnant as well you’d understand.”

He raised an eyebrow, shaking his head as he crept his arms around your body, his hand resting on the baby bump. You shuffled closer to his body, before turning your head to see him softly rubbing back and forth across the bump.

“Be patient, my love.” It was a whisper which brought you comfort.

“If you’re not home by 4pm then I’m locking you out of the house.” You threaten.

He looks down at you with your fiery eyes, “sure you are.” He kisses the top of your head; you pout wanting a proper kiss. He looks at how perfect you looked with his babies, when you both found out you were having twins, the small apartment you had called home since dating. Had gone and a house in the country close enough to UA and still for you to do pro hero work was where the both of you had situated.

Your relationship have been very secretive, a small wedding ceremony which had been perfect with your family and friends. Of course people had noticed you had gone MIA but one day you’d come out and tell the world how you and Aizawa were an inseparable family.

He moved to capture your lips, grabbing his face you wanted to just drag him back to bed. But he quickly moved out of your grip, “patience Y/n.”

“Shouta.” You whine like a child would.

“Seems like ill be raising three babies now.” He mocked putting the scarf around his yellow goggles.

“I hope you break your goggles.” You huff again, he doesn’t speak only kissing your temple after the small peck he had given to your lips.

He starts to walk out the bedroom, your wedding photo situated on the cabinet. You were perfect back then and now with his kids inside of you, you became somehow even more perfect. He had never thought that the woman he had met all those years ago, who had showed of her quirk to the whole world would be the one he fell in love with.

He looked back at you, you were grumpy due to hormones but once the babies were out you knew you’d go back to being yourself (and both of you could fuck properly, but that was just a bonus.)

“Make sure to walk around the house.” He warns.

It was your turn to raise an eyebrow, “and what if I don’t, will you come home early?” Your extra clinginess melted his insides, he knew how bored your loud self was and being cooped up inside had took a toll on you.

“I’ll come home early.” The sound of your squeal lifted his spirits, it was adorable, and he loved how easily your mood changed. Your face was full, and you had something to look forward too as he left the room.

The day for Aizawa had been smooth sailing, having asked to leave at 2pm and being able to, he had been with the students whilst they were training. He could imagine teaching his kids everything to do with this world, he couldn’t wait for his own leave, to spend time with his future babies but also with his loving wife.

The sound of Bakugo shouting was something else he had gotten used to; how could a 16-year-old boy be louder than the babies he had heard on those stupid pregnancy videos you made him watch. You had shown him a woman giving birth and to say it was the weirdest thing he’s ever seen; he’d happily watch stuff go inside of you but the other way round was another issue.

He stood watching over them, they had gotten a lot stronger in the months and the events that had occurred. It was another reason for the secrecy, having to hide your relationship to prevent disaster from happening. He watched the time tick away; another two more hours and he could leave and spend the rest of the trimester with you.

The sound of running caught his ears, he looked up and saw Principle Nezu walking towards him. “Agh Aizawa, we got a call from your wife’s mother.”

He hadn’t checked his phone, but if your mother had been calling it must’ve been something serious, the class had noticed the principle and had gotten quiet even Bakugo who wanted to know why the principle was here.

“Finally, you answered, she’s going into labour.” He heard on the other liner, he was in shock, his phone dropping to the side.

“Sh…She what?” It was early, of course you both knew about early pregnancies but this he had just spoken you a couple hours ago and now here you were about to go into labour.

“In labour, her water broke whilst I came to see her.” He could hear you screaming on the other side, how you must’ve been in pain, he knew you had been dilated a couple days ago but this, this was sooner than he had expected.

Nezu got the hint that something had happened and so had the class, a flash of worry across Aizawa’s face. “We’ll send the students back to the dorms.” He was calm and Aizawa quickly rushed out of the gym, leaving nothing else to say. He needed to make it to the hospital as quick as he could, in an instant he called your mother.

“Is she okay?” He had ran outside going to his car to quickly rush to the hospital.

He heard screaming which he assumed was you, “she’s grouchy…”

Before he could hear the rest of what your mother said, he heard you shout, “if that’s my idiot of a husband tell him to get to the fucking hospital.” It was a wail and he regretted not taking the day off.

“Y/n.” Her mother scowled, “we’re at the hospital, I’ll text you the room.” Is all her mother said before hanging up. Aizawa was stressed to say the least but what he hadn’t seen through the chaos was class 1A following him.

The class had seen the worry and panic before he jolted out of the room, “you all are dismissed for the day.” Nezu spoke before leaving.

“What do you think happened?” Momo questioned worried.

“He seemed in a hurry; it was probably something important.” Kirishima retorted back.

The class watched him on the phone the question of ‘is she okay?’ being heard. “Who do you think he’s talking about?” Mina asked.

“Why do you lot care so much?” Bakugo angrily said pissed that training had been cut early.

“He’s our teacher, what if something bad happened Kacchan.” Midoriya answered but it just fuelled Bakugo’s anger.

“We should follow him.” Denki suggested. “It might be serious and if people need help, we can help.”

They nodded, all assuming it had something to do with hero work, seeing Aizawa in his car, they started to follow him on foot, “we should’ve taken one of the buses.” Bakugo scowled following.

“We cant drive.” Kirishima muttered back.

Bakugo huffed following them all on the long walk, it was easy enough to keep following due to the mass traffic occurring. Aizawa having got the room number, he didn’t care for his surroundings, his eyes fixated on the road.

He finally saw the sign for the hospital and breathed out hoping you hadn’t gotten into labour yet. “Why is he at a hospital?” Ururaka questioned, “do you think someone got hurt?”

“Maybe we should go back.” Momo said not wanting to intrude on something that could have no villainous intent.

“Shut up extra’s, we’re already here.” Bakugo muttered walking to the entrance, they all followed the angry boy who glared at the children coming out of that ward.

“When did you care about the injured?” Kirishima questioned the blond.

“I don’t, you dragged me with you so now we’re staying.” For one thing the boy was persistent.

Across the hospital, Aizawa had ran to the room and saw your eyes filled with fury, your mother holding your hand as he could see how much pain you were in. “Look what the cat dragged in.” You scowled in pain.

“You can take over now.” Is all her mother said, going outside and waiting. He took her place and in an instance your hands had grabbed his.

“You must be the husband, I’ll be helping your wife, can you wear these?” The doctor spoke passing the blue overall type to keep his clothes covered, Aizawa obliged still holding your hand. “Mrs Aizawa you’re about 9cm dilated once you get to 10cm I’m going to tell you to push, okay?”

You were breathless and felt dreary, it would’ve been fine if it wasn’t for the fact you were having twins. You knew you’d go through even more pain then normal and in that moment felt scared.

“Hey kitten, look at me, you’ll do amazing.” Aizawa tried to be encouraging but even he was scared for all three of you.

“It hurts.” You tried to hide the tears, but it mixed in with the sweat.

“I know kitten, but you can grab onto me as hard as you want.” He smiles moving the strands of hair away from your sweaty forehead.

“10cm’s.” One of the nurses spoke out, the doctor nodded before looking at the angry you and calm husband.

“Mrs Aizawa you need to start pushing.” The pain was excruciating, you tried to push your grip on Aizawa’s hands becoming tighter. It was the worst pain you’d gone through and you’d been stabbed before.

Aizawa gave words of encouragement but all you wanted to do was tell him to shut up, tears cascaded down your face whilst pushing. “I see a head.” The doctor spoke, “keep pushing.”

You pushed a long with what the nurses had told you, in time to make sure you weren’t just randomly pushing. Aizawa was the first to see it, first to see the baby come out, it was quiet before wailing out loud, it was his turn to cry. The baby being placed on your chest before the doctor continued, “one more push, let’s get the other one out.”

You felt the first baby on your ski grabbing your neck as you kept on pushing, “I don’t want too.” You cried out but seeing Aizawa and how he looked at the baby on your chest you knew you needed too.

“Come on kitten, one more push.” He spoke a loud, you suppresses the tears before feeling another hard push come and the head of another baby erupt out of you. The doctor but the second baby on your chest, both their crying having stopped.

They stayed on you, you let go of Aizawas hand as the doctor told him he could cut the umbilical cord, he happily obliged before looking at the two babies that you both had created. They were smaller then normal and there eyes were tightly shut clinging onto their new mother.

“We need to weigh and clean them.” The doctor spoke as two nurses took the babies ready to put tags on them, the oldest had been a boy and the youngest a girl. You missed there touch and hold wanting to hold them again but watching them being taken out.

“We did it.” You spoke sleepily as you felt yourself being cleaned up and ready to be moved into another room.

“Yeah, we did.” Aizawa spoke going in to kiss your temple, “we’re parents.”

Tears brimmed his eyes; this normal dry flat facial features had become happier and all he could think about was how you looked with his two children. How he had gotten a family that he had never expected to have had.

Being moved to a different room, Aizawa followed sitting on the chair beside you. You saw the two babies come back to you both, in an instance they were placed back into your arms. “You can hold them?”

You had seen Aizawa’s hesitance to even touch the babies, but he knew how to do it and with ease they both were situated in his arms. You could hear your mother outside, she seemed to be talking to some people, but you ignored it watching at how Aizawa’s eyes welled up at the two babies.

“Where are my grandchildren?” Your mother spoke a loud before having heart eyes at how Aizawa was holding your babies.

“Mum, please be quieter.”

“Hey, I had to handle your screams, let me be happy, they look adorable with their father.” She spoke moving to the bed.

“They really do.” You both watched him look at the two children, a tear falling from his face.

Your mother turned back to you and she smiled at you, “I’m proud of you.” You give a nod holding her hand before she speaks, “have you two got any na…”

Before she could continue you hear the door open with the doctor coming in, “it seems you two have more visitors.”

You were both confused on the matter, nobody really knew you had gone into pregnancy except your parents and his and your father was still at work whilst his parents were out of town. It was unexpected but your eyes widen when you see the group of 16-year olds.

“They were wondering around the hospital.” The doctor speaks, Aizawa hadn’t noticed his students, but you and your mother had.

The kids were in shock at seeing a pro hero in a hospital bed but there eyes went to Aizawa’s he had been looking at his babies, unaware of his surroundings.

Nobody spoke instead just watching Aizawa interact with the two new-born babies, a smile placed on his normal flat self. “Did he steal two babies?” You hear one of them whisper, you instantly begin to speak after that.

“Shouta.” You whisper.

“Yeah.” He was so out of dazed but once he turns to face them all, he’s in shock as well.

“I’ll leave you to handle this.” Your mother leaves not wanting to have to explain this scenario.

Aizawa was still in shock, you reach out for one of the babies, he passes you the youngest, who starts to grab at your fingers. He sits holding the boy, before the class start cascading you both in questions.

“Are they yours?”, “How do you know Pro Hero Y/n?”, “Who is she to you?”

Aizawa looks at them and then at his family, you nod a sign that he could tell them everything, “This is my wife, and these are our new kids.”

It was a simple but effective, the class in shock that there homeroom teacher who seemed to be detached had you the loving pro hero as a wife, but even more now had two kids.

“Congratulations.” They all spoke a loud. It was rehearsed and you could tell that it all came out due to shock.

“What are you doing here anyway, I thought we said go back to the dorms.” Aizawa scowled.

“Baby, it’s fine, it’s good they found out anyway, since you wont be teaching them for a bit.” You calmed the man down.

He shakes his head at how easily you calmed him down, “you’re an amazing pro hero.” Midoriya spoke a loud, you thanked him before they didn’t know what else to say.

“I’ll go call Nezu, he can get you back to UA.” Aizawa muttered handing you the other child as he left the room.

“You married Aizawa.” Mina spoke a loud everybody looked at her, “what? We were all thinking it?”

You laugh looking at them all, “yes I did.”

“And you slept with him.” Mina continued with ever more eyes growing wider.

You continued to laugh, “that is how I got pregnant.”

“What are their names?” Ururaka asked coming towards the two kids.

You sat upright, letting them have a closer look, they all came forward even Bakugo who saw children as devils spawn. They were fresh out and anew, so pure and innocent as they tugged onto your hair.

“We haven’t decided yet.” You said looking at the two kids, you notice Aizawa at the door looking at the class as they surrounded you and the babies. The way they were quieter than they had ever been around two new-borns, they spent time asking questions and looking at the two babies. Before being dragged back to UA, all smiling happily at having spent the afternoon with two new-borns.

“They look like you.” You mutter sleepily, the two babies being put to sleep on the other sides of the room. “We made them.”

“I love you.” He whispers kissing you softly, you kiss back, happily at the new family you had and Aizawa finally realised what his happiness was. You and your two babies were all he ever needed now.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

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[nerdygaymormon]

uhhhh david have you gotten the liahona yet bc idk how to feel about an article i found in there yesterday. it was pretty comforting and basic, but did use ssa the whole time. BUT the youth one was pretty crappy, it used ssa to the max and gave no real hope, was pretty bland and annoying about oh itll be find just believe and jesus and get hatecrimed <3 i would like to hear your thoughts on it, its the first time ive seen any queer topics in church magazines

Thanks for bringing these to my attention.

"Same-sex attraction" (SSA) is the preferred term of Church leaders. They say it's a way of not making it your identity, that this isn't part of who I am but rather is something I'm dealing with. In other words, people "have" same-sex attraction, not that they "are" gay or lesbian or bi.

There have been a few leaks from behind-the-scenes where the apostles say they use "same-sex attraction" because it's the term that people like least. People like it less that same-gender attraction or gay/lesbian. SSA includes the word "sex" and I guess the idea is it gets people to think of sexual acts and feel queasy.

SSA is the term normally used in Church magazines because they follow the lead of the First Presidency and apostles.

There's 3 items in the Church magazines this month about queer people! That's a lot for one month.

————————————————————

The first is a bishop talking about how to understand and include LGBT people at church. After becoming bishop, 3 sets of parents contacted him distressed that their child is gay or transgender (I note that the parents used "gay." He also mentions contacting someone who 'identifies as gay").

His first recommendation is to follow the living apostles. (which explains why the bishop uses "SSA" even though everyone else around him used "gay"). It's a good idea for a local leader to find what the current leaders are saying because it's changed. He also says to read the Church's websites titled “Same-Sex Attraction” and “Transgender.” He provides two lovely quotes from those pages about diversity at church and being loving to people who are different.

His second recommendation is to not be afraid to talk to people who identify as gay, but instead try to have love for them and then let the Spirit guide you in what to say. We're just people, it shouldn't be scary to talk to us, that shows how different he thinks we are from the other people he interacts with in his ward.

The bishop's third suggestion is to speak to people who are familiar with LGBT "issues," share your testimony, and apologize for hurtful things you say. His list of people to contact for help understanding was a little disheartening because he starts with his stake leaders, ward leaders, other bishops, and so on, actual queer people were the last people on his list.

He continues by saying to pull aside members who are saying homophobic or transphobic things and give them some personal guidance, don't share private information that a member shares with the bishop, and just because someone has these "attractions" doesn't mean they're acting on them, and if they aren't "acting" on them then you can let them have a calling.

I have a few comments about the last few things. If no one corrects the homophobic/transphobic comments in public but instead privately suggests the person do better, every one who heard those comments thinks they stand unchallenged. The atmosphere created by the comments is unchanged. Especially if the bishop was present to hear those words, if they go uncontested then people think this is what is acceptable.

You'd think bishops know not to share private information a member shares with them. I've been around long enough to know that when a bishop is unsure what to do, he starts contacting his network (stake presidency, other bishops) asking for advice. Some bishops are discreet when doing this and others name the individuals.

While it seems basic, I recently had a counselor in a bishopric who didn't think gay people could get a temple recommend, that there's a zero-tolerance policy. That is an attitude that is outdated by a couple of decades, but it shows that people need to learn that simply existing as a gay or trans person doesn't automatically mean we are committing great sins.

I do find it interesting there appears to have been quite a few queer individuals in his ward, at least 4 or 5, and reading between the lines it seems they all stopped attending.

The bishop's heart is in the right place. I get he's following the Church leaders and that limits some of what he can do for queer people in his ward. I think his perspective primarily is of making the parents feel more welcome in the ward and not ostracized for having queer kids.

————————————————————

The second article in the Liahona is written by a person with same-sex attraction and his work to overcome the shame he felt.

It's a much better article than the one written by the bishop. This person shares about the shame they felt at having gay feelings and working with a therapist to overcome that shame. He shares 3 lessons that helped him with this process.

1) God and Jesus love and accept him as he is. This is a message that doesn't often get conveyed to queer members and it's important they know this.

2) The Atonement of Jesus Christ offers healing. At first he was wanting the Atonement to cure him of being gay, but instead it helped him be healed of the shame he felt. I hear so many members who think the Atonement can change us from gay to straight, and that's not true. I'm glad he made this distinction. Our Heavenly Parents don't view being gay or trans as something that needs to be cured. I wish that message was taught more openly in the Church.

3) Build deeper connections and show compassion. Loneliness and feeling like you don't belong at church are two of the most troubling aspects an LGBTQ+ person has to deal with if they are active in the LDS Church. Developing close friendships will help with that. Also, queer people tend to be more compassionate than the average person and I believe it's because of the experiences we had to deal with of living in a heteronormative world that isn't made for us.

He includes a few useful tips at the end on how to engage with queer people.

All in all, a much better story than the one written by the bishop. He shared part of how it feels to be a gay member of this church, the idea that he should be ashamed for who he is, that being gay isn’t a burden, that he doesn't fit in.

I appreciated he said this is part of his layers of identity and at the core of his identity is that we're children of heavenly parents. That's more nuanced than the apostles who reject being gay has anything to do with identity and our only identity should be a child of God.

————————————————————

The final story is from For the Strength of Youth. This piece seems like it's written by a queer person, but it's anonymous and given as general advice to show that people with same-sex attraction belong at church.

This article makes 3 main points. The first is that God loves you. That's true, although accompanying quotes to back up this principle aren't specifically about queer people.

The second point is "you belong." All sorts of people attend church, and God is no respecter of persons. Then they have a quote from Elder L. Whitney Clayton that people with same-sex attraction are welcome to come to church. To me, he's an odd choice to give this message as he led the Church's fight in California on Prop 8 to make gay marriage illegal again. Words aren't enough. Saying I'm welcome is not the same as making a welcoming climate.

The third point is that God will help you. They include a quote from Laura F. who experiences same-sex attraction. She writes about prayer, scripture study, temple and church attendance. However, she also says she doesn't know what her life will look like in 20 years, she seems to be leaving open the possibility her journey with God will lead her to romance and out of the church. I thought that was very honest and important.

————————————————————

I found it noteworthy that nowhere in these 3 articles does it say being alone and celibate is good and what God wants.

I appreciate the idea that we can make our local congregations less homophobic/transphobic. The suggestions from the bishops shows that the bar is pretty low and it doesn't take much to make an improvement from how things are now.

The voices of the two gay members was important, what they shared was useful but nuanced, didn't make commitments to staying in the church long-term or testify that what the church requires is what God wants for them.

Even so, it's clear the publisher is very careful. They use "same-sex attraction" so often, I think readers would be surprised the preferred term of most same-sex attracted people would be gay, bi or lesbian. While they addressed some things, like homophobic/transphobic comments, feeling shame & not fitting in, I think they largely skated past the things that make queer people decide that this church isn't for them.

There's a part of me that says I'm glad we're having this conversation in the Church magazines, but another part that says this is too sanitized and doesn't get at the heart of things. These are very hopeful messages that make it seem that queer people could easily choose to stay in church if a few adjustments were made and if they only understood God loves them, which avoids the "doctrine" that excludes queer people from the highest blessings and joys and makes us essentially second-class citizens in the kingdom of God, at least according to our church.

[scifimagpie]

Is the Internet Getting Meaner?

I'm going to dispense a bunch of advice that I wish both I had heard when I was younger and on the internet, and that I think younguns on the internet could benefit from hearing.

The way people talk about very minor celebrities and critique their every action would absolutely destroy any normal person. Before you write anything online, consider - has someone else already said? Did they maybe say it better? Are you actually adding to a conversation? Yeah, those are a lot of questions to think about. 

But especially white people like myself, and especially young people who may not have learned the full weight of empathy and emotional maturity, need to think before we post. So, take it from an older millennial - you're going to make big mistakes that you regret, you're not always going to say the right thing, and god help you if you blow up enough to make an income at the entertainment industry. 

Accept that microcelebrities and celebrities are going to be problematic or just do things that you don't like - and make room to just not like something without having to justify it on a moral basis. 

Oh, and learn the difference between personal nitpicks, like "I don't like the way she pauses between sentences, or the way they're incredibly cringey" and actual issues, like, "okay, that was racist, that's not okay." Of course, there's overlap here - fandoms can be incredibly fragile about critiques of their faves - but delivery does mtter.

And finally - learn to complain and mock people in private, rather than on forums. Every time we post something on Twitter rather than complaining about it in private, we're putting it out there for the world to read. And that has a different effect than bitching in private to friends. 

Because if you don't? You're going to betray any principles you have of being empathetic. and even if you don't care about the celebrity's feelings, your fellow fans will still read what you say. And it might make them feel terrible about themselves, especially if they're dorky, or they snort when they laugh, or idk, they overshared something recently. So - try to hold others only to the standard you hold yourself to, and for both yourself and others, learn the value of grace and forgiveness. Not everything is really worth throwing someone in the trash bin over. It's so easy to spend way too much energy on critiquing youtubers or any other mildly public figure when we actually have real, serious problems to focus on - like holding cops and politicians accountable, and climate change. And yes, someone can care about two things at once - but can you care about ten at once? 

So don't fall for the easy trap of wanting to fix or mock something small and stupid. Our anger should be directed at the wealthy class, definitely, but celebrities are just the scapegoats of the rich. Spend your energy and rage on organizing, not merely griping. 

Should I follow my own advice? Absolutely. Are we all still in a pandemic, which makes it kind of hard to protest? Yeah. But let's spend our energy annoying the people who really, really deserve it.

  ***

Michelle Browne is a sci fi/fantasy writer and editor. She lives in Lethbridge, AB with her partners-in-crime and their cats. Her days revolve around freelance editing, knitting, jewelry, and learning too much. She is currently working on other people’s manuscripts, the next books in her series, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible.

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[sanstropfremir]

What are your thoughts on lis* from blpk? Like in terms of dancing and stage presence? And even her solo bc im actually confused why so many people think she's an incredible revolutionary dancer?? Like her dancing is good but I can never immerse myself in it and it feels like she's just going thru choreo very well but that's about it. It feels very trained if that makes sense. I thought about this bc of your post on the creative stuff and I remember lis* chose the song money and had input for her solo and imo it wasn’t... good. I feel like she would have been much better off if something gave her a concept and music rather than her choosing. Idk.

as much as it would hurt some fans to hear, a lot of their meow meows just have bad ideas. people do not realize how much work and training it takes to learn how to have good ideas and generate good concepts. because you DO have to learn it. it is a skill, just as much as dancing is a skill. i harp on it all the time but there is a reason why historically, these have been two separate disciplines. you think idols are out there learning colour theory and basic spatial design principles and basic fashion design principles and how to research and how to build a reference catalogue and how to synthesize like visuals on top of incredibly strict and physically labourious schedules and dance rehearsals??? some of them on their own time, if that's their interest, sure, but that still doesn't guarantee that they're going to be good at it either. statistically it's just not possible. my graduating cohort of designers in undergrad was seven people and maybe 2.5 of us are actually good designers; and this is for people who did four years of school specifically for design. you think every actor is writing all their lines??? making their own costumes??? i feel like a broken record but really it is very normal and okay and honestly probably better if idols have concepts and songs handed to them, because it means that there's someone behind the scenes that's designated for that job.

idols having choice and/or input on decisions isn't always a bad thing, but it is the job of the designer/creative director to guide those choices, because more often than not they will be bad. and as a designer you should never let an actor or a performer totally steer the ship, you should work with them to achieve the final product. bad design choices happen from designers losing control of the helm to a performer's star power, or to just plain apathy. if you want an example, see the 2017 live action beauty and the beast film.

ok this will be unpopular, but i've never got the blackpink hype. it's not that the girls are bad performers, because they're perfectly fine, probably above average, but they've just been releasing the same song over and over again and their choreography isn't that compelling. to be completely fair, i was never really a fan of the yg style in the first place, but in a similar vein to bts - blackpink are at the point where they're so big that everything they do has this perfect money polish to it that it becomes aesthetically bland. i think they need a better creative director and a better producer and a better choreographer; they have the ability (and the funds) to push much farther than they do and it's disappointing. in a way i kind of applaud lisa for taking more of a risk with some like a traditional thai styling in lalisa but whoever they have as creative director is just garbage at their job and nothing about that mv and styling makes any logical or aesthetic sense. as far as her as a dancer? she's not untalented, but i don't see the kind of intuitive spark that i see in other top tier idol dancers. i agree with your point of how she looks very 'rehearsed,' it goes back to something i said a while ago about how idols are very good at mimicking and repeating choreography, but don't have the same kind of fluid body understanding as a professional dancers. which again, not a problem, because she's a perfectly fine performer, but there isn't a lot that draws me personally to her performances. it's one thing to be good at the motions, but it's another thing to be good at fully embodying those motions, and that's a lot more nebulous and subject to personal opinion.