#idk i'm so intrigued to see what she does next and also how my relationship to her/the fandom continues to shift

[highladyluck]

Season 2, Episode 8 Post-blog:

So I did not liveblog this episode since I had friends over to do a watch party, but here's everything I remembered that I wanted to talk about!

As far as I can tell, the two Seanchan sul'dam that got collared are not going to be found with the collar on them. (Not sure if Renna is dead or if Egwene chose to uncollar her, but either way she's not chained up in a basement with the collar on waiting to be discovered by her peers.) I was thinking at first that this had major implications for the rest of the Seanchan storyline. But really, it only has implications for Suroth, since in the books Suroth (and Alwhin, who is already her Voice in the show) sit on the information until Egeanin discovers it separately. Egeanin can still be the first Seanchan to know and do anything about it. I do think this lack of a dangling thread, Suroth's ship being blown up, and the way it's hard to get actors to come back seasons later make it more likely we've seen the last of Suroth. I would be happy to eat my words, though! Also, Egwene, Nyneave, and Elayne all know you can collar a sul'dam, and possibly Mat, Rand, and Perrin will soon as well if anyone remembers to communicate this information, so any one of them could spill the beans.

Major props to whoever hypothesized that Uno would be a Hero of the Horn; not sure if he's implied to be Gaidal Cain or not (possibly not? there was a blink-and-I-missed it moment of PDA between Birgitte and somebody but I am not sure if it was Uno or not).

I did not anticipate Mat making an ashandarai out of household objects and the dagger and I am EXTREMELY PROUD of him. Also proud of him for escaping traps! My boy is really coming into his own! I also really appreciate the classic blunder of doing the same thing to Mat again but worse- the Dark does not understand that my boy thrives when you do that. He solves his problems by escalating them in intensity or magnitude. You can only put him in a room with drugs once, if you put him in a room with drugs again he will use them in an unconventional manner to escape and also destroy his enemies.

Also props to whoever guessed that the Horn would trigger memories for Mat- I'm intrigued by where they are going with this. I hope it's not precluding the Aelfinn and Eelfinn, but given all the hanging foreshadowing, the makeshift ashandarai, and Lanfear yeeting Moiraine out of the waygate doorway, I don't really think they'd cut the Eelfinn. It's the Aelfinn that seem slightly less like a sure thing, and I'm going to be a little on edge until Mat gets the DotNM prophecy somehow. I don't think they'd cut the problematic fave; it's a juicy part, idk what Mat would even do if he weren't babysitting the Seanchan in the later plot, and they've been doing great with the 'you're wrong but I see where you're coming from' characters. But they've either cut or significantly changed the Moiraine/Thom relationship in the show, and the two relationships are kind of linked in my head for thematic reasons. I'm probably overthinking it though.

HOPPER T_T

Dain looked like a boy band member who fell off the stage and got trampled in the mosh pit.

Loved that Egwene got to face off against Ishamael! Loved Egwene all the time forever actually. I was also entertained that Egwene had like one semester of Magic College and used it to school the Seanchan on linking mechanics. She's right that the sul'dam don't know how to link properly and are weak little babies when it comes to channeling, and she should say it.

Nyneave and Elayne were great, as usual- very impressed with Elayne, who is finally living all her Battle Queen fantasies and is being very brave about how much they suck, actually. Nyneave is in for some self-loathing next season though, I'm afraid. I love that Rand and Elayne still get to have a meet-cute when she's treating his wounds. :P

I was very happy for Tumblr User Moghedien that we got to see Forsaken Moghedien. She's offputting and very gay, just like I imagined!

[mindibindi]

Your thoughts about Wild Blue Yonder are so interesting! I also wondered whether Donna could see the memories but was choosing not to.

After watching a few (okay, many) times more, I don’t think she is. To me, the line about it being like a furnace conjured images of something bright and hot, something she couldn’t keep her eyes on, something every instinct in her tells her to look away from. (Part of me wonders if this isn’t part of the metacrisis. The doctor told the master “did you really think i would leave my best friend without a defense?” when her memories could have been triggered - is that barrier still up despite her having let go of the energy? idk)

But I love the idea that she could know, and chooses, in some ways, not to. Out of respect for his privacy, worry over what she’d find, wanting to give him the chance to tell her himself.

These specials have given us so many little details to play with and speculate about and I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Yeah, I think the scene could be read both (or multiple) ways. And as the episode stated, a human brain can do/hold two (or more) possibilities at one time. So I like the idea of Donna choosing to respect the Doctor's privacy, even if it's an unconscious choice, an instinctive one, one she makes partially for her own preservation and partially for the health of their newly reinstated relationship. This is what you get when you put actors like Tennant and Tate together tho. This is what you get with good writing, good characterisation. You get texture, possibility, richness, intrigue, subtlety, mystery. Because yeah, these two are both as silly and goofy and ridiculous as each other. They're fun and funny and endlessly entertaining. But they are also sensitive, mature, thoughtful, unique actors. They can play the biggest comedy then turn around and break your heart with a single, silent look. Having them back for the specials has been SUCH. A. GIFT. Especially since returning to old ground (as is the nostalgic fashion in these bleak end times) does not always go well. But RTD has given these two some great material and then just put them on a big stage (literally, in the case of Wild Blue Yonder) and let them make their particular brand of magic. And as you say, I think we will be rewatching these specials, revisiting the funny and poignant moments they've provided and discussing them for weeks/months/years to come. If I'm honest, I don't feel like I've quite caught up with everything that has happened. You could say it's like looking into a furnace. It's been bright and fast and funny and moving and surprising and everything it needed to be. And I'm still processing so much, including (but not limited to):

They're back! (Donna & the Doctor! In the TARDIS!)

Donna remembers everything (and didn't die!!)

Donna & Rose giving regeneration realness

The LOOKS (of angst and love and more!!)

The kisses (hand! & head!!)

The hugs (they missed e/o SO much!)

"Earth Girl" (I didn't know how much I needed that until they gave it to me)

The continually incredible work of Catherine Tate's hair

They've given us so much, after such a long wait, and this weekend they're gonna give us MORE. And then they're gonna take it all away again and I'm really not ready at all.

[mysticarts]

Hiya! I am back, I finished my exams so sorry very much for the absent.

Question:

1. The lackadaisy sequel au your talking about it had me curious, what's going to happen to Nia after Carmen's death and the great depression came. Also is Nia going to be a detective soon? That's sounds intriguing to be honest!

Furthermore is the au going to mainly focus about Nia or are you going to include the Lackadaisy crew (ex; Rocky, Freckle, Ivy, Mitzi and etc.) and the Marigolds? (Mordecai, the savoys, etc.) To me I think they have some connection with Carmen, and I feel like they would have the biggest major effect to their business, due well, stock market crash.

(I could've add Wick and Edmund here but I think these two are just investors to both bootleg business... Edmund said in the comic about Marigold. Idk.. Ouch my memory.) Although that's only my interpretation, I am not a expert at history.

I wonder what you'll plan to do with the main cast? (If not then its okay, hopefully this doesn't pressure you.)

2. Speaking of the main cast! What does Nia thinks about the Lackadaisy? Did she meet one of them or not yet? What does she thinks of she meets Rocky?

3. Victoria or Vicky, does she know Carmen has a daughter? What kind of relationship Carmen has to her boss? Opinions and such.

4. What happens if Carmen's family meets Lucio's family? This isn't cannon btw since I said in a post Lucio turn tore his connections to his family. Amelita and Avis (I know she's dead, but I wanna hc this.) Could get along well, like Amelita rambles a bunch of things like work, family and household while Avid just listens to her smiling. Avis may like the fierceness energy Amelita has lol. (No wonder why Dakila is down bad for her WhEeZ!-)

I don't know how Alexander will interact to Ezekiel, Mayari (Amanda's new name) and Manuel, aka Lucio's sibblings. Seeing how Carmen doesn't like Alexander I can imagine Mayari despise Alexander, if he belittles her, Maya won't hesitate to bite his hands.

Manuel lowkey be intimidated on how cold Alexander is, Ezekiel doesn't like Alexander but he keeps on good manners and he isn't wanting to plan a physical fight with him. (Amelita will pull Ezekiel and Lucio ears if they did.)

That's all, have a good day/night! ^^

Ayyyy, glad ur done with exams! Exam week is starting next week for me, so I'm trying to save my relax time

Well, again, we don't really know when Lackadaisy ends in the universe time, but in this sequel Au it started two years after all of Lackadaisy's events. At this time, Nia is eighteen, a considered adult. In this situation, Nia is tempted to just go live back on the streets like she always did, and just keep herself hidden. However due to Carmen's impact, Nia probably would first thing go too Lucio after Carmen died. When the great depression came, Nia didn't really know what to do, but along that time, Nia just got into college

Im not sure when Nia will become a detective, I'd have to talk to her owner about it. But Nia partly became a detective so she could try and stop gangs killing people like how Carmen died

2. Nia has met Lackadaisy! The people she's closest too are Ivy and mainly Rocky. Mostly because they're both mentally unstable. Nia finds freckle boring, then again, she finds it hilarious when he's scared.

When it comes too the others like Mitzi and Zib, she formed that connection right off of Carmen. Considering Carmen knew Zib and Mitzi since she was around Nia's age, Nia had some small connection to Mitzi that she couldn't really explain. Nia just think Zib Is a funny guy with a saxophone. Again, in this sequel Au, it was just a concept at first, I only made one peice of art for it, it isn't a fully fleged out thing. But the sequel Au if fully developed would probably focus more on Nia's life and truama up till now, how she processes it and navigates life when another load of truama has been dumped on her.

3. Victoria does know about Nia. Victoria again, is running a huge business, she finds no reason too form good connections with her workers. Carmen always thought Victoria was cold on the outside, warm on the inside. Just having a hard shell to protect herself.

4.i do think that they would get along! Avis is very calm and compassionate, she knows how to bring people together. She'd probably be the one hosting the party meet and greet. I feel like she'd really get along with Lucio's sisters.

Elias is also very friendly, if anything. Carmen got most of her bright energy from Elias. He'd probably be laughing loudly with Lucio's dad.

Now, if we're gonna include Irene and Alexander, it'll be weird considering they're the step fam. But Irene is a talker, she'll go on and on about random stories and not stop. If anything, Alexander would try to save face, fail and then get kicked out of the party

Ty for the questions! Feel free to ask more!

[bonesandthebees]

i cant stop thinking about the significance of the vision, especially its timing after he’s just opened up to quackity. its such a different message to his previous one, this one being very obviously a warning about who he cares about the most (tommy), rather than a way to try to get wilbur back to ‘where he belongs’.

so much surrounding clara is fucked up: the whole pythia process, wilbur being a CHILD enduring that and quackity’s point of her favouring this country was also so true. but idk part of me always wants to see the good in things and i almost am hoping this is clara trying to help wilbur? like who really decided the pythia’s process? is she fully to blame, or is it more the government’s long manipulation of her image? bc how much does she really control besides the pythia’s visions?

im very curious to see wilbur’s reaction to it. obviously its a panicking thing to see, but i more am interested to see how he responds to finally getting another vision. i think her silence had helped so much towards his development without him realising - its that subconscious ‘if youre going to give up on me, what is stopping me from doing the same?’ and he doesn’t have that anymore. its confirmed he is still the pythia and still completely out of control of his own power. i just wonder who is he going to tell about this bc really its choosing between his traditions and tommy’s safety, and i hope i know which one he would choose. but i cant really blame him.

i think glass divine is the most ive ever like genuinely sat and theorised about a fic before. i have so many thoughts about clara and kristin and theyre just rattling in my brain atm not forming words

your cliffhangers make me insane

- 🦔

I was very excited to get to show this next vision. because it's the opposite of what he expected it to be, and consequently the opposite of what the readers expected. it's nothing about his duties as the pythia. it's about tommy being in danger.

one of the main things I want to explore with glass is humanity's relationship with religion, rather than the mystical powers of divine goddesses themselves. I'm more preoccupied with the human side of things, including the tendency to shape or change religious texts to benefit a few select people, or push down others.

the rules that govern a pythia's life were written by people, not clara herself. maybe some of it comes from truth, maybe all of it is true, or maybe none of it is. but the rules are not without bias.

oh yeah next chapter is mostly gonna be about wilbur trying to figure out wtf to do. he's not gonna be having a fun time.

it makes me so happy to hear when people are thinking and theorizing about my stories so much. it means I've created something intriguing enough to hold onto people's attention even when they're not reading, so ty I'm very glad I get to hear your thoughts :D

[yannysifgen]

Hiya! :-D I've been meaning to reach out w some questions and finally decided to commit!!! ;v;

Idk if it's stated anywhere, but I'm curious what inspired the concept of the game? And what made you choose Lucien as his name bc it fits him so well <3

I'm also really curious abt the original plot of Rosalind's Lie, how much of in-game lore do we get to see? Or is it only mentioned in passing here and there? Just the idea of a game's storyline (RL) inside another game's storyline (IITAOAYD) intrigues me a lot

Sorry for the long ask ;v;!

Hii!! Thanks so much for reaching out! If you think your ask is long then wait till you read this answer haha... But on that note it's totally fine, I absolutely love reading any and all ramblings because I'm a rambler myself (it's the adhd) and like to consume new knowledge, even if I can't actually retain all of it :') (btw I love Mychael and can't wait to see what you do with the rest of the game aaa)

Honestly, the idea just kinda came out of nowhere one day (my brain does that) because of the recent(?) boom in yandere games, I was thinking what kind of yandere I might make and just thought of a concept where mc might be isekai'd into the yan's garden and he kind of immediately gets attached because they're 'untainted' by the world and other people and wants to keep it that way.

I should mention that I'm a fan of isekai genre in general because it's such a self-indulgent escape from our boring mundane lives, a kind of fresh start that a lot of people wish they had access to. Ironically though, I prefer the isekais that are more focused on living a new life as opposed to getting op powers and making waves in the world

Back to the topic, didn't really think too seriously on it till I saw the yanjam announcement and decided why not. Then I decided to add the reincarnation/otome isekai tropes into the mix to make it more interesting, except that mc is themselves and not another character. So stories like "My next life as a Villainess: All roads lead to doom!" and "Death is the only ending for the Villainess" (I promise it's two different things) come to mind for inspirations.

The game will lightly parody these popular tropes, which is why if Lucien looks like every other 'Duke of the North' with his red eyes and black hair(but less buff as I'd like because drawing men is an ongoing struggle for me) then it's on purpose. His name....... well it's honestly embarrassing but it really just comes from angel/demon inspo while talking it out with a friend, since Dukes are mostly portrayed as 'monsters' in comparison to the angelic Prince or so, when in reality it's the other way around. So its kinda like Lucifer...Lucien... yeah, not very creative but I also wanted a name that could be turned into a cute nickname(Lucy) so I decided to roll with it.

Since I gave such a specific name like "Rosalind's Lie" for the og game, I do intend to flesh out the story at some point, though for now I only have rough concepts because I'm terrible at planning lore I'm so sorry. But that somehow didn't stop me from being ambitious with it because I'm weird like that. Anyways, Rosalind's Lie is named so because the titular character Rosalind kicks off her relationships with the eligible bachelors through lies. As for why, it's because she was born in the slums and orphaned at a young age, and had only herself to rely on to survive. Thanks to that she's very street-smart and cunning, and by chance she caught the attention of a kind Baron who decides to adopt her. He was nice enough, but not very smart or ambitious, which she felt was a waste, so she decides to make her own fortune in life and marry rich - she's really more like a villainess than a heroine lol but basically she encapsulates both roles. Her "lie" in Lucien's route is basically her nicking his brooch during a ball and pretending she found it and returns it to him, which prompts him to invite her for lunch or something as thanks. And then she plans various other small schemes because he's notoriously hard to get a hold of but eventually starts liking him for real.

I'm actually not sure how much of the og lore I'll involve in yanduke, other than mc occasionally making some callbacks when they're reminded of something, because mc is isekai'd before the plot of the game starts this time, which is ofc heavily derailed and non-existent by then thanks to our yan.

Sorry for the late reply, I actually had to knock around the old noggin to articulate an answer, but again, questions like these are always welcome because it actually helps me formulate some plot points too!

[godtier]

and now for something completely different—

so I'm playing through ffxvi and I wanted to Rant about my experience so far so spoilers

so firstly, and not actually spoilers lmao, idk why this game makes my ps5 so warm. it's honestly not... *that* impressive graphically? which isn't necessarily a dig at it; I'll play anything as long as I can tell wtf is going on and it's fun to play. so idk if it's just yet another AAA game that isn't optimized well or what, though typically console games are *more* optimized... idk! just a gripe.

other than that, I'm seeing some Issues developing narratively... I'm not what I'd call an Expert Writer but yknow it's been noticeable so far. here are few thoughts and gripes with the story:

the inconsistencies in the story. the biggest one so far, and this is what I'd consider p big spoilers, is clive's whole "I gotta come to terms with the fact I killed Joshua" which is like... okay *fair* I suppose, but once he figured out that he was ifrit, yknow after killing benedikta, he... I mean he kinda *did* immediately accept it?? so... the whole "I gotta accept this" part was odd. I have heard tell that it was meant to represent a jungian acceptance of the shadow, or at least that's what people are alluding to in their own theories (and this is all secondhand btw bc I have the tags blocked til I finish)

to elaborate on what jung's interpretation of the shadow is for those who don't know: the shadow is essentially the suppressed subconscious, the things you don't want to acknowledge, for better or worse. it's most typically applied to things like traumatic events, but jung specifically does not commit to the idea that the shadow is *only* bad things. when you confront the shadow, the next step is to integrate the shadow to the conscious mind or ego, which you could argue was why they may have written it the way they did; clive isn't just acknowledging that he did do that (which he pretty readily did when he figured out he was ifrit's dominant) but he's also accepting it as irrefutable fact and integrating it to the ego so it cannot be repressed again.

now... having said that, the *problem* narratively that I'm seeing is that... well. Joshua isn't dead. clearly if Joshua had died... well, that'd be one thing. now they're saying "well ACKCHUALLY 🤓 he didn't die at all!" so that, to me, renders the entire "journey" pointless. what exactly is he accepting? if he didn't actually do it, why or how could he feasibly accept ifrit in that context? wouldn't his subconscious mind, his shadow (ifrit in this case) remain unincorporated? it's just very clunky and I think it was meant to show Clive as an unreliable narrator.... but there's really no one there but Joshua to confront this false accusation. and Joshua is MIA currently at the point I'm in so! who knows!

moving on, Jill is currently nearly a non-character at this point. what I mean by that is she's always just sort of... there. the only times she's shown depth is her speaking about hating herself for what she did with her powers while in captivity. even then, it doesn't appear to be given the attention smth like that deserves; we see a handful of flashbacks from when we fight her at the very beginning... and that's really it. I would like to see more but I have a feeling they will not be showing us

benedikta died way too early. she seemed like she was going to be a character of mild intrigue, but she was killed so very quickly. her and cid's past relationship (whatever that might have been) was only just elaborated on (we know cid saved her from slavery but little else), but I feel it could have been fleshed out beyond that. they spoke in broad terms about how she was and then what she became... but nothing I would consider to be substantial enough, given her connection to a major character. we also don't see enough of her and hugo, just that scene where they practically dry hump in the hallway. we know he cared a lot about her, esp during the scene with her uh. severed head? which... who did that, exactly? they blame it on cid, but we know he would not have done that. but anyway, fleshing out their relationship would have been nice

cid's death. now, it's not that I'm saying something as basics as "he could have lived" which, maybe? and it's not even that they did the whole "oh [mystery person] (it's Joshua) shows up to save them but he's too late!" trope crap. what bothers me the most about his death from a character perspective is his lack of *any* mention of the daughter he supposedly loved so much as he lay dying. now yes, up til that point, we only know that cid has a daughter via a sidequest that people could miss. but that in and of itself is an issue. why introduce that aspect of his character... and then never do anything with it while he was alive? why did they feel it sidequest worthy? they could have just slipped it in as banter or something, maybe gav teasing him or something?? anything?? basically the fact that he dies without nary an utterance of his so beloved daughter, not even her name, was a huge sour point to me. sure, you could argue that he wanted to get pertinent information to Clive as quickly as possible since he knew he was dying, but I would have been satisfied with just a whisper of her name (which I don't remember them mentioning during the sidequest?) and they could elaborate on it later, maybe in a follow-up sidequest??? maybe you find the letter he meant to send her back?? anything??? it just seems so weird from a characterization standpoint to introduce this concept of him melting for his daughter, his daughter being such a soft spot, etc, and then... never addressing it in a meaningful way when he's on death's doorstep

OK this is a dumb thing and not necessarily a negative thing but how the fuck did tomes, a geriatric librarian, survive the raid on the hideout but a bunch of younger, much more spry characters just croaked and couldn't escape lmao. IDK I LOVE TOMES DONT GET ME WRONG but it was just so... idk. funny? I also get it's a game mechanics contrivance as well, given that they built an entire mechanic around him, but idk I wanted to mention it bc it makes me laugh

that's about it for now. if you message me about this tho, pls no spoilers beyond the iron kingdom crystal raid. thank. 🙏

[syuga-s]

The Last Time

w.c 4.3k

pairing. Jooheon x gn!reader

genre. angst, a little fluff maybe, idk how to classify it but it's my take on relationships in real life(?)

a/n. (warnings) I throw some curses here and there, mention of the word "sex" once, tried to make it as gender-neutral as possible, I could really use some help about t/w, feedback is more than welcome, hope you like the fic 🧍‍♀️

Once again you were at the same bar. With the same friends. Same music. Same drinks. It's safe to say that nothing's changed in here but you.

For some reason, you were awfully quiet tonight. Everyone was away from the table by now. All of them talking and dancing in groups.

You were regretting saying yes to going out the very moment Jasmine was at your front door. But your best friend really wanted to get you out of your house.

The thing is you weren’t going to be alone, all of your friends were tagging along. I guess I need to suck it up, maybe I could have fun, despite him.

And you really tried, there was no need to make a scene anymore. All of your friends have had their fair share of nights seeing you 'talk' with him and making things awkward for everyone. It's been a while, though. You haven't seen him in exactly 2 years.

How do I explain this? There's no resentment anymore, no hate for what happened between you. But when there's a choice between spending your Friday night at the same place as him or staying at home? Well...

But tonight was clearly different. Something (Jasmine) had dragged you here and to be quite honest, it hasn’t been half bad yet. Jasmine kept waiting for you to get up from your chair to come and chat with Jackson and Changkyun. Her all-time crush and his best friend.

"In a sec!! Just let me finish this drink!" You said while you showed her your glass. She quickly nodded and turned to keep talking with those two. You have to remember to thank them later for keeping her entertained because if it weren't for them cracking jokes every single second, she wouldn't have let you off the hook that easily.

Meanwhile, you decided to get a little lost in your head. Laughing to yourself because you were feeling like having a main character moment. Being the only one sat down in a place full of people. The mysterious persona drinking by themselves.

But that didn't last long.

"Mind if I sit here?" You shook your head. He put his drink next to yours and asked, "How are you?" And it somehow felt like you couldn’t have avoided this exact situation.

You released a breath that you didn't even know you were holding. "I'm sitting Jooheon, drinking… existing, you?" He forced himself to smile. Trying to hide the fact that he was still feeling uneasy around you. Nonetheless, showing you the dimples that you used to love so much.

“I can see that”, he paused, "it's been a lot since I last saw you, you look different".

You hummed softly, finally making eye contact with him. "So you expected for me to look the same?" You surely weren't going to pass up the opportunity to be passive-aggressive to him.

It still makes you happy to know that he has never minded this side of you.

"I'm teasing, I guess we both look different, it's been what? Two years?"

"I'm not sure, but it feels like a lot" He took a sip of his drink and started to fidget with the glass. Maybe you're not the only one that's changed after all.

In the two years, you were together, you never saw him like this. But let's remember the fact that you never fully knew him back then. It just feels weird to see him this anxious. Especially with you.

"I've wanted to reach out to you for a while now," You frowned at his words. "Guess I lacked a little courage" He let out an airy laugh. "I really want to talk to you".

Now it was your turn to feel tense. What is this supposed to mean? How long has he been wanting to talk? And talk about what?

You tilted your head and opened your mouth to ask him all this, but he didn't give you the chance to get the words out.

"Before you say something, please believe me I just wanna talk", "but not in here”.

"Alright then, where do you suggest we ‘talk’ Jooheon?” He took his phone out to check the time. 10:44 p.m. He pursed his lips and said, more like hesitating, "I could walk you home?"

You stared off into your group of friends. This was going to make their night interesting. Seeing you two go together again, just like all those times before.

Jooheon's been waiting for this since he saw on your social media that you were leaving the city. And Jasmine took care of letting him know that you would be coming back in about 6 months.

That was a year ago. More than 365 days waiting to be in the same room with you. Praying that you would let him talk to you. Not that you would reject him. But he was scared, he was perfectly aware he messed up everything.

As you were both saying goodbyes to your friends, you started to think about how everything had ended between you two.

You know what? Yes, maybe I was wrong in ghosting him but after all, I don't owe him anything. Just like he threw me out of his life two years ago. We didn't work out, he never communicated with me. He didn't choose me back. I just had to watch him get rid of me, no explanations, no nothing. And I find it really hard to believe that he's been dying to talk to me. What could be so important that he wants to have a proper conversation? How will I explain to him that I stopped replying for no particular reason? That I just realized that we weren't good together, and I had to let go of him? Should I tell him that no matter my hard feelings, I still thought about him constantly?

You had left each other in the cold back then.

He called your name, and you snapped back to reality. Didn't even realize you were already outside of the bar when he softly asked you, "aren't you cold?"

You smirked and told him "Well yeah, walking back home in this weather wasn't in my plans dummy, but I didn't bring a jacket though".

He used to be so attentive to you. One of the other things you used to love about him. Always concerned about you.

He simply put his jacket around you and started walking before you could complain about something as simple as this. Like you always did.

It feels nice to know that someone in this world knows you to this extent. The way you’ll react to simple things. How can you still love someone despite knowing that you don’t work together?

You realized he still has this jacket. It's the same one he gave me the first night we spent together. Why do I have to remember this now? Not fair. Maybe he wore it on purpose.

You gave a little run to catch him. Now that you were by his side, you were getting impatient, "Can you please start talking? I'm intrigued by all your seriousness".

You were kind of hating this feeling. Everything about him felt familiar. Suddenly, you wanted to cling your arm to his but thought twice about it.

He chuckled. "Well it's not super serious, I want us to have a nice conversation, you know?" You snorted at this, what does a nice talk mean?

"I can be nice, as long as you tell me WHAT you wanna talk about…", "come on Jooheon, just get to the point".

"Okay!! OKAY… I-" he took a deep breath and continued, "First of all, I want to apologize to you for everything, then I want us to talk about what happened between us if that's okay with you?"

You'd be lying if you didn't say that you wanted this to happen since you drew apart the first time. You always dreamt of having an adult conversation with him.

But the dream left your mind bit by bit. Just like your heart got itself back together after he left you, piece by piece.

Overwhelmed, you could only stare straight ahead into the street. He called your name again. Now your eyes were on his, and you could see his concerns. How his mind was going miles per hour, just like yours.

"I want to apologize too,” you smiled and finally let yourself link arms with him. “It’s gonna take us a while, isn’t it?”.

The walk to your apartment took around 15 minutes. The words you exchanged with Jooheon were kept to a minimum. You weren’t gonna get into the heavy stuff right there in the street.

When you finally arrived, you gave him back his jacket. It was gonna get uncomfortable to talk with him with a piece of clothing that made you remember too much.

“Want something to drink? I have a beer, wine, you name it”. He sat on your couch while you searched for something non-alcoholic in your little fridge. “A beer would be okay”.

You got yourself some water. Otherwise, your head would be fuzzy, and wouldn’t be able to tell him all you’ve had on your mind for years.

You handed him the bottle, and you took your seat on the carpet. Your mind wandered off to the last time he was in here.

When he told you goodnight and planted a soft kiss on your lips like he always did. You knew it wasn’t a simple ‘good night’, for you.

You remembered how your eyes followed him until he closed the door of your apartment.

He took a swig of his drink and by the time he put the bottle on your little coffee table, it made you realize he was sitting right there, in front of you.

Finally, gathering the courage to start telling you what was on his mind. “I never thought I’d get the chance to talk to you again”.

I didn’t think so, either. We both fucked up multiple times.

──────────────────────

You were never a couple. After 5 years, you never understood what had lacked between you. The desire was there. Now and then you had your moments of happiness. Usually on the weekends.

When you met, you weren’t looking for love or a serious relationship. At least one of you.

Jooheon was free, like the wind or like a bird. He flew back and forth and once in a while he needed to land somewhere for a while. Every so often he sought another fire, another bed, other arms that weren’t yours.

The time came when he made you feel a million things inside. Overwhelmed with words and emotions, mostly love. But also turmoil and maybe desperation.

It made you happy that he made you feel so much after being empty for months. You felt different with him. It was the kind of love you didn’t know you had in you. Didn’t even think it was possible to express about someone like this. Until him.

You didn’t need anyone else. You just needed Jooheon. Not only that, but you didn’t care for how long your love would last because you believed that the meaning of the word love was what you had built together.

A few hours together. Every so often the whole night.

But when the morning came, the nightmare started to take form. Texts at inappropriate hours, and even unanswered messages.

You started thinking that you didn’t know better. You started feeling insecure. Replaceable. Maybe he knows better than to be with me.

Desperate to know what you had. But afraid that you would ruin everything with the words “What are we?”.

Tried to convince yourself that all of this was okay. That it was a good thing that you were going slow, giving him the chance to open up to you.

Months kept passing and your trust in him was running thin. He made you feel weird on the daily. Wondering if he was seeing someone else. If he danced with someone tonight. Had they kissed? Is he having sex with someone who isn’t me? What if he’s tired of me?

You wanted to be with him, but It was starting to hurt.

I hate that when I try to get myself to think that I don’t like you anymore… you do these little things that make me love you.

When you were together, he treated you like there was no one else for him. His hand was always wrapped up in yours. Talking until dawn, about college, his family, and your relationship. Those times, you couldn’t lie to yourself about your feelings.

He was the only face you could see in the world. The only guy you’ve ever wanted to keep around. But how did we get to this point?

The day you told him you were starting to fall in love with him, all he could reply was, “I don’t know what to say, I never thought you would be in love with me”.

“That’s all you have to say?”

“Well what do you want me to say? You took me by surprise”.

“You could tell me how you feel. I’m not expecting for you to tell me you love me back, I-“

There’s no return now, you have to keep talking.

“I’m just tired of not knowing what’s in your head, I’m not sure if you want to have something with me anymore, it’s okay if you don’t so, just be honest with me”.

“I like you”. You stayed quiet after hearing this, urging him to tell you more than just three words.

“I mean, of course, I’m attracted to you”.

At that moment, you liked what you heard. But the more you thought about it, you realized that he didn’t actually care for you, or loved you. Maybe that was a greedy thought from you. Maybe you expected too much.

You were angry but mostly angry at yourself.

Why are you still waiting for him? It's been years and nothing has happened between you. Nothing ever will at this point.

You ended up telling him not to bother you again, that if this was his way of ‘loving’ you, you were better off without it.

But that was a lie, you longed for your phone to show his name, even if it was at 5 A.M. Still thinking that there was no other way to love someone.

Unable to put an end to it, months kept passing and nothing changed between you. Jooheon had many others, and you only had him.

You loved spending nights like this by his side, watching him sleep, wondering for hours about you two. Unable to explain how you could love him this much.

Maybe he did love you, but you can’t handle this kind of love anymore. It’s better for both of you to end this, whatever it was because it's driving you crazy. And you meant it this time.

Jooheon told you goodnight and planted a soft kiss on your lips like he always did.

You knew it wasn’t a simple ‘good night’ for you, this was the last time you were gonna let him in. Your eyes followed him until he closed the door of your apartment. Fighting back your tears while softly saying to yourself, “I’m always going to love you…”.

The texts at 5 A.M. came again, but this time there was no answer. Jooheon started calling and sending texts for days, but you didn’t reply. All your efforts in disappearing from him on social media weren’t stopping him.

He met someone else, yet the texts wouldn’t stop. Until one day they did.

Now and then your curiosity would get the best of you and you would see his Instagram stories with her. An older girl you had met once. They were supposed to be friends.

You wanted to avoid comparing yourself to her but, he never posted something with you. It’s a dumb thing to worry about, but it’s one of those things that sometimes matter.

You tried to understand the whole situation. Accept the fact that you two weren’t meant to be. That he didn’t see a future with you.

Your days stopped revolving around him. You focused your time on getting your degree, learning another language, going out with your friends. Even tried meeting new people.

There were a few here and there. No one was enough for you.

Your ideas of love and relationships were different now. You gave another meaning to the word love. You wanted to find someone who would love you and take care of you. A quiet kind of love, real love.

What you had with Jooheon, was something you never wanted to experience again. Days went by, even months until you saw each other once more; for the first time in Jooheon’s life, he felt a knot in his stomach, he knew he lost you, for good this time.

Months passed and Jooheon left his girlfriend. He now felt different because he looked for you in everyone, yet he couldn’t find you, and he felt empty.

He cursed himself a thousand times for not knowing how to appreciate you and the love you gave him for two whole years. Tears finally fell from his eyes, he couldn’t believe he was crying for someone, crying for love, crying for you.

He took his phone out, swallowed hard, and started typing another text.

“I miss you, and I need you with me now and always, I never thought I would say this, but I’m not happy without you. Maybe I should’ve loved you less and loved you better, I just want you to know that I’ll always be waiting for you my sweet y/n…”

But the message was never delivered. You had changed your number.

It made sense that you would do that someday. It’s been too long, but this didn’t stop him from sending you texts in the middle of the night. When he felt the overwhelming need to have his arms wrapped around you.

──────────────────────

I still love you

(9:05 p.m.)

no, I don’t

(9:06 p.m.)

I’m confused why did this happen

(2:26 a.m.)

I want you to be happy, if this is what it takes then I’m okay with it. be happy. for me. please.

(10:45 a.m.)

I kind of hate you for changing your number

(8:57 p.m.)

I’m sorry

(1:43 a.m.)

maybe if I wasn’t so fucked up this wouldn’t have happened

(3:37 a.m.)

why can’t things be like they were before

(10:13 a.m.)

please come back to me. I need you. You need me

(1:58 a.m.)

I still want you

(4:06 a.m.)

──────────────────────

The day you left town was the day he swore to himself to try his best to get another chance to talk to you, just once more. To make things right, not caring anymore about his pride. He just wanted to let you know everything he didn’t say when you were by his side.

That he was sorry that it took him too long to acknowledge he was wrong. That he knew he was a little too late and wishes that he could say something more meaningful than a simple “I want you back”.

──────────────────────

“I wonder why” You smirked at him.

The more you kept making eye contact, the more you realized you didn’t feel any kind of resentment anymore. You both had grown, and while you didn’t actually need this kind of closure, you figured this was the healthiest moment to do so.

His eyes were avoiding you now, his smile was still there, but you could tell he lost a bit of his confidence. “Okay, so I’m gonna talk first, please just hear me out. I want to rip the band-aid,” He said with a forced laugh.

“I don’t know why I could never tell you that love scares me. That it scares me to be attached to someone”. His tone was soft now.

“I still play in my head the day you told me you were falling in love with me. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you not to tell me those things because you could have changed your mind any moment”.

“I never told you how I felt one of the many nights you spent with me. You were stroking my hair and I seriously felt like crying because I was fucking scared”.

“I was scared to lose you”.

“I’m sorry because I know I made you think I didn’t want you for something serious. I’m sorry for being immature”.

“I look at you now, and I’m happy to get to see you like this. You’re still everything I’ve ever wished for and more. You need to know that nothing compares to you”.

“And believe me, I don’t expect you to take my words as a way of asking you for another chance, I know I don’t deserve it… but I would really love it if you could let me show you I could love you better this time”.

You never imagined these words coming out of his mouth. Couldn’t believe how he was looking at you. Hopeful but understanding at your loss for words.

“Can I ask you one last thing?” His voice was barely audible, but you nodded at him.

“Well, maybe it’s not an actual question, but I’d like to know why you stopped talking to me”.

“Look Jooheon, I don’t know how everything I wanna say will come out, so please bear with me”.

You didn’t know where to start, either.

There were so many things to be said that you were getting nervous to start talking. Because once you opened your mouth, you didn’t know if you would be able to piece everything together.

“When everything ended I really wanted to hate you, everyone around me hated you,” you admitted to him, “except for me and I hated that”.

“I knew that all I could be able to do was cut you from my life, so I just decided to stop talking to you”.

It may sound harsh, but it’s the truth. “I admit it was a poor way of handling things, and I’m sorry for that”.

You’ve always been scared of having this type of conversation.

You let out a sigh because you never thought that the following words were gonna come out of your mouth, ever.

“I’ve only been in love once in my life, and that was when I was with you”.

“It used to frustrate me that I wasn’t able to make it work with anyone after you. I couldn’t help but compare everyone to you”.

“I swore to myself that I never wanted to go through the same thing we had, maybe because those memories are yours and I don't want anyone else messing that up, you made me feel so safe, I felt alive with you, nothing could stop me when I had you”. 

“You've been the only one I've ever wanted to see every day, no matter the hour or how busy I was, I truly wanted everything with you”.

You hadn’t noticed how he had been looking at you this entire time. He couldn’t believe that you used to feel that way about him. Still couldn’t wrap his head around hearing you say how you loved him.

You quickly wiped a tiny little tear that escaped your eye, hoping we wouldn’t notice. But he did.

You let out a nervous laugh and said, “I’m not sad, I swear, It’s just that I never thought I would say all this out loud, especially to you”.

“You don't know how many times I wanted to call you, run to you”.

“Last year before I left I wanted to see you, I kept trying to convince myself that It didn't have to mean anything, that I was just desperate for any physical touch, but from time to time, I wonder if what I really needed was just you”.

He didn’t say anything. So you just said his name out loud. “Jooheon…” Followed by a long pause.

“I feel so different now”.

“When I was far away from you, I realized that I need someone who isn’t absent when it comes to me, someone that isn’t a ghost in my life”.

While you were talking, you were watching his every move and how he couldn’t stop playing with his rings. You’re still not used to seeing him act like this.

“At this point, I want someone who will take care of me, that makes me feel safe. Someone who wants to be with me because they love me, and they love to have me next to them. I’m beyond only spending the night over, I want whole days”.

You finally got up from the floor and sat next to Jooheon. Facing him, making him do the same. He kept looking at you for a whole minute but it felt like hours.

You didn’t know what to do after his following words.

“What I realized with being away from you is that I was pushing away what I’ve always wanted. I wasn’t confident that I could meet you where you were. I felt it would be better not to waste your time back then, but that was then, and this is now…”

You kept looking at each other a little too long. Both realizing you didn't need words anymore. The love was still there.

[lavenderbexlatte]

Hello!!! Welcome to 🦋 anon's probably-way-too-overthought analysis on the m&m series in light of the new part. I have stopped crying and had about 24 hours to think, and I have discovered I have many thoughts, and this will probably be way more detailed than it should be.

The first thing I would like to address are some of the accusations Chan made at the end of the most recent part. (While I understand that they're supposed to not quite be accurate because of their obvious root in insecurity, and a lot of what I'm saying may just be like "yeah, obviously," I still would like to tell at the character a bit but I can't so this is what I have.)

Claim #1: "You fucking came at us at that party with your little girl-dom agenda and the guys fell for it, hook line sinker!"

This one's fairly self explanatory, no she didn't. They literally came onto her, even him, with his "There’s that pretty blush," and "Whatever you want it to be," lines. (And while yes, it's very likely that he was just trying to play it cool, but there's no way she could've known that, I'll come back to this later.)

Claim #2: "Nobody fucking asked me what I wanted!" "Nobody asked if I was sure that I wanted…"

Also mostly false, but he does have a tiny bit of a point. Yes, reader did grab his hair without asking, which is a little iffy, but she didn't actually rough with him until he goads her on. But I would argue that the reader is actually the ONLY one who asks him what he wants, if he's okay with things. While there may have been a little bit of discussion on the decision to approach the reader that we didn't see because of perspective (him saying this is kind of telling me that there wasn't, or at the very least not enough, maybe even some pressure for this to be the moment), or maybe Changbin said something while reader is with Jisung on the couch, after that, we don't see Jisung and Changbin check in with him at ALL, and there's not really an opportunity any other time for it just not have been noticed by the reader. As his partners, and the ones in the situation who have the full knowledge of Chan's situation, it should've been their responsibility to make sure he was alright throughout the process, even if they're not the ones in control for this situation, ESPECIALLY if they're going to keep this information from their Domme for the night (which really, I would say, wasn't a good idea, but no one is required to out themselves so I'll leave it alone).

HOWEVER, the reader does check with him, several times. She asks for boundaries/hard limits/etc before they even start anything, and while again, he's not required to say "hey, having a sexuality crisis, first time with a girl, kinda nervous," and he may not want to tip off Jisung and Changbin that something's wrong, that would be the time to say something like "I'm not feeling anything rough tonight, if you could be gentler that would be great." She asks them if there's anyone that doesn't actually want to fuck her. Also, she implements a safeword system (which she specifically calls him out to make sure he's okay with), which they weren't even going to USE, and asks them at least twice throughout the scene for their color, and Chan specifically if he's okay at least two more times besides that. Actually Chan almost makes fun of her for asking so many questions, so I think this claim is just another part of his insecurity-fed delusion that she's conspiring to ruin his life, or something, but again I'll come back to that. My point is that despite being the only one who doesn't know his situation, reader is also the only one who checks in with him.

There are a few other things he said that I took issue with, but those are the main two.

Next; Chan's delusion that reader is like conspiring to ruin his life. (Really like how you depicted this by the way, though I may be thinking wayyy too far into this.) I remember watching some video when I had one of my mental health/disorders hyperfixations. The video was about schizophrenia, and while I definitely don't think Chan has schizophrenia, one of the things the video talked about was types of delusions, and this kind of reminded me of one of them. I don't remember what it's called, but it's basically a delusion based around one idea, and then you force the world around you to fit into that idea. One example of this that I can think of is Azula from ATLA. Towards the end of her arc in the TV series, she starts seeing hallucinating her mother everywhere, and you get a peek of her fixed belief that her mother is behind everything that has gone wrong in her life, which is expanded upon a little bit in the books. Obviously Chan's not experiencing delusion to the extent that she did, but I did see some (albeit much less intense) parallels that were interesting. See, if he only talked about how his boyfriends seemed to like the reader more than him, that would be one thing, but he brings up his mother as well, which even though they did speak, it's a little out there to say that your mother likes someone she's talked to once more than you. That, combined with his insisting that the reader is playing some sort of game makes me think of that a little.

Of course this was only at first, when I was like "wtf, where is this 'my boyfriends like you more than me' thing coming from?" And then I reread the first few parts for this monstrosity of an ask that I'm writing rn. While at first I thought that this was entirely out of left field, when I read through the first few parts, especially the second one, with the knowledge that he felt that way, I noticed a few things you had put in there.

For the majority of the scene, or at least the first good chunk, the reader deals with Jisung and Changbin alone, leaving Chan by himself to watch. Obviously, as we see the reader's perspective, we know that it's because she found Chan's attitude intriguing and wanted to be able to deal with that one on one (at least that's what I got from it), it's easy to see now how to someone who's already insecure about their relationship and themselves, that would read as someone replacing you. Especially when Jisung, with no ill intent, but still, outright rejects his help in favour of the reader, and once again, he is left out, only this time it's accompanied with the sting of knowing (or at least feeling) that your partner didn't want you involved.

Now I kinda want to go character by character, and idk, talk about what I think they did wrong? We'll see, I'm not going to edit this so here we go.

Jisung and Changbin : Honestly, looking back on 3racha's first encounter with the reader, they really should have done better as Chan's partners. Like I said earlier, as the ones who knew Chan's situation, and the ones who likely pressured him slightly into he whole ordeal, it was really their responsibility to make sure Chan was okay with everything that was going on. That, and them feeling the need to sneak around with reader behind Chan's back doesn't sit right with me. I get that they have an open relationship, but there's a difference between having an open relationship and hooking up with someone your partner doesn't like, and actively trying to hide that you're hooking up with them. Their relationship boundaries may be fine with that, but idk, something feels off about it.

(I couldn't figure out where to put this and you may have already addressed this but it's my little theory/headcanon that Chan actually suspected it was reader at Jisung's place, and when there wasn't anyone there, he kinda gaslighted himself afterwards, idk. With the new knowledge it feels likely.)

Also, knowing that they were together for a while before Chan joined the relationship I think explains so much about the communication issues they seem to have with him. While I do think Chan has trouble communicating his feelings about things, I think their established communication and knowing eachother really well doesn't help. I may just be making things up at this point, but I feel like they have trouble with communication with Chan specifically, maybe forgetting that he doesn't have the same time/experience thy have with each other? If that makes sense?

Chan : oh boy. I've gone into a lot of detail already, so I'll try to keep this brief. Obviously, I think he has a looooottt of insecurity he needs to work through. If I were reallllyyy analyzing this I would say maybe a past cheating partner(?), but unless that's relevant to the plot I'm not sure if that's just me reading too much into this. Also mentioned before, COMMUNICATION ISSUES. One thing that would prevent half of the issues with this series is Chan communicating with his partners, though I suppose that wouldn't be near as much fun to read. Or just communicating I'm general, like I said, he had a plethora of opportunities to communicate to reader if he wanted something different, and didn't. So, yeah. Honestly I think he causes most of his own problems, but I feel like we knew that.

Reader : Now. I spent most of this series completely on the reader's side. Last night after reading part six, I was like "oh my god. He's right!" But then I took a while and thought a lot about it (as you can see), and honestly, I think reader probably did the least wrong out of everyone. Yes, the hair thing was a little iffy, like I said earlier, but once I went back and realized that he was actively participating and egging her on, I don't think that's necessarily something she did wrong. Beyond that, she did the most in regards of communication (at least during sex, after is another story), even more than the partners themselves. I think she did the best she could with the information that was given to her. She saw three guys approach her as a unit, and while yes, she didn't ask before engaging with Chan, I don't think it's really her fault for assuming that they were all interested as a unit as well. She had no reason to question any of their sexualities, why would she? She sees three partners approach her in unison, why wouldn't she assume they were on the same page? Anyway, all that to say, I think reader is the most innocent of all the main characters so far, though I may feel different after sitting on this for more time.

Anyway, here's this unedited brain dump, loved the new part, enjoy. Or not ig - 🦋

i've been sitting on this for like a week bc it's just so long and amazing??? and i have no idea what to say?? 🥺🥺

the bit about chan having a sort of delusion that reader is out to ruin his life in a pointed, conspired way is VERY interesting. their dynamic is actually something that i pulled from myself, in a way. i'm really superstitious about dumb things. i hate, like, bumping into someone or accidentally saying something that hurts someone's feelings bc i know that that karma/vibe/intention (whatever you wanna call it, i'm not spiritual just paranoid) is gonna come back around.

reader is the opposite. she's just walking around doing things and thinking about herself, and then being shocked when there are equal and opposite reactions to the stuff she does. i overthink everything, so reader doesn't think nearly enough.

but lemme say

that the best thing you said is how jisung and changbin are absolutely not the innocent bystanders that everyone seems to think they are 🤐🤐 most readers LOVE those two. but think about it...what are they trying to accomplish, here? 👀

[bookofmirth]

i think we all read sjm for the characters, not the plot, putting that aside, yeah, it's obvious that in acowar she set up the next books that were not hinted at before.

as for mor and az tho, i don't really know what sjm was thinking, bc when i first read acomaf (2016?) we all shipped moriel, but looking back, they had 500 years to solve their issues and didn't. maybe mor is eris' mate and sjm was planning to have that be what stopped mor from being w az? and then she was called out for the lack of rep and decided to make mor sapphic? i don't really know and maybe i never will. i love sapphic mor tho, and i'm glad that sjm chose to have ff rep (bc usually female authors tend to chose mm every fucking time).

also, i can see that in acowar sjm started building up the azriel x elain x lucien conflict. and I'm a firm believer that the next 3 books she sold were nesta, elain and mor, but that's just speculation.

my guess is, with the hints we've been getting since acowar, next book is elain, azriel and lucien pov (bc i know about marketing and this is the perfect way to get both eluciens and elriels to buy the book), and then we'll see what happens.

now, emerie was introduced in acofas and she will be mor's love interest, that's for sure. as for gwyn, we don't know when sjm came up with her, but since there weren't crumbs (that i could find at least), maybe it was during acosf. that doesn't mean she won't get her book though.

i just want sjm to have an interview when the last acotar book is out and spill the tea like she did with tog😭😭

There are definitely clues in acomaf that something was rotten in the state of moriel, but if the issue was that Mor is fundamentally different than we understood her to be, then she needs to stay that way for the next two books. We know she’s gay! Maybe sjm did have another reason to make that not happen, idk. Maybe it was never her intention - perhaps she never intended it to become a thing and just didn’t know *why* it wouldn’t become a thing yet. Then once she did, she threw the queerness out there like a “here’s the explanation!” without then thinking about how that should change the way we and the characters interact with her from that point on. I, too, doubt that we’ll ever get the answers we actually want.

Personally, I also appreciate that Mor is queer. From a writing standpoint, wtf. It was fine when all we had was acowar. It’s not longer fine with me when we have acofas and acosf and no whisper of it since.

I really wish that the next full length books would be Elain and Mor, because tbh I don’t want to read about Az being toxic. I had enough of that having to read Chaol’s POV. I only read ToD once, but I remember being genuinely uncomfortable until he and Nesryn broke up because he was treating her like shit. I don’t want that experience again! Idgaf how much I used to like Az, or how intriguing he is as a character (because he is, I just.... don’t really care about him like I care about Elain, Gwyn, Lucien, and Mor). 

TBH I really like that idea though, of the next book being a split between Az, Elain, and Lucien? Because then tbh, everyone would be happy, at least initially. I don’t like the idea of it being a love triangle - not even, considering Mor and Gwyn it’s more like a love pentagon. I would totally enjoy that if we just knew right away that it was going to be elucien and gwynriel in the end because like I said, even though I theorized that he and Elain could be a thing before they all get their HEA elsewhere, I don’t want to see that happening on the page! He’s not in a place for a healthy relationship and so I 100% don’t want to see him taking out his shit on Elain, or on Gwyn, à la Chaol! 

Good point about Gwyn and there not being crumbs. I’ve seen people suggest that she only exists to make people doubt el*iel which is GROSS I’m sorry, but can this wonderful, intelligent, adorable, lovely female character exist for reasons other than to just fuck with the readers who ship that one ship??? 😅 wtf Let’s just ignore her entire character development and arc in the whole book. She’s really only important for what she does or doesn’t mean for a ship. 🙄

Maybe we will get our wish and she’ll explain all these decisions later on. Even better, maybe she won’t have to because it will make sense! I’ll hold out hope mostly because I’m stubborn. 

[future-dregs]

Send Me a Fandom Ask Game

@nitghowl1600

Yu Yu Hakusho, I love that, thank you.

Let's dig in and see what the answers are.

The first character I first fell in love with: Hiei!

My sister actually read it first, and then we watched the anime together, and from the moment she showed me his first picture I knew I would love him. And I was RIGHT. He's a bastard gremlin (affectionate) and that's just the ones I like, so it was really no surprise that he rocketed right up to the top.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Yusuke. Despite being the MC, he was an absolute ASS (which was all part of his character development but I digress), and I really, REALLY didn't like him. Brash, crass, sexist, and irritating, I did not want to spend any more time around him than was strictly necessary. Now, of course, if you've seen any of my posts or tags, you'll see that he's shoved his way into my heart and I love him very dearly. He's amazing, and his growth, maturity, and tenderness are something outstanding.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Yoko Kurama. Idk who was a closet furry in that translations room, but giving the giant, muscled fox man a "time for spankings" line was a damn choice and a choice they kept on making. Every time he opened his mouth I braced in horror and despaired of what he would say, cause ALL OF HIS LINES ARE LIKE THAT. (My sister assures me that wasn't in the manga….that...I have yet to completely finish). I do not like Yoko Kurama. But the fandom does. Oh, how they do.

The character I love that everyone else hates: Itsuki. He's not great and his relationship with Sensui is (imo) weird at best and unhealthy at worst (though I wouldn't go so far as to that its abusive). But idk man, he's a compelling, interesting character. He's a demon, who was being hunted by Sensui and was about to be killed by him, but Sensui thought he was funny and hot I guess so he let him live and they started hunting together. After Sensui's horrific (in every absolute sense of the word, holy fucking shit) realization about the humans he had been working to protect, and he was so shattered and disturbed and at loose ends that he had to make multiple personalities to protect himself and process what happened to him, Itsuki stuck with him. They may not have dealt with what happened to them in the healthiest manner, and Itsuki stepped back and let him go when he should have intervened, but what they hell else were they supposed to do, really? He supported and loved Sensui in the best way he knew how, even if that way turned out to be pushing him to the point of self destruction. Their last moments together were very moving, and solidified him as an intriguing character to me. Idk what the fandom feel for him is, but my sister greatly dislikes him, so that's who I'm picking.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Lame, but I don't think I have one.

The character I would totally smooch: Yukina. But a nice, cute little forehead kiss. She's precious and want all good things for her, and I'd like to kiss the top of her head like a cat. I don't have any character I'm attracted to though.

The character I’d want to be like: I admire Kuwabara. He's strong as hell and can fight like crazy, but he runs off of love. Like, the power of love is what motivates him. He's kind, loves his friends so much that he was willing to debase and humiliate himself so that no harm would come to them, he loves cats, his sister, PEOPLE in general and he just genuinely wants to make the world around as good as he can. He applies himself to his studies and is determined to make himself into a good man, and if I could be at all like him, I would consider myself to be a success. (The dub frickin' BUTCHERED him and all of his character traits btw)

The character I’d slap: Koenma. He deserves it. He bears a lot of responsibility for the REALLY bad stuff that happened and the unnecessary pain and torment that several characters went through. Aside from that he's also a little whiny and should really treat his second better but hey, what else is new?

A pairing that I love: YuHieiRama. This is not the most *popular* paring in the fandom (30 fics on Ao3, minimal art, there's…there's next to nothing, basically) but I LIKE it.

Kurama treasures Yusuke, he doesn't even attempt in any way to hide that fact. Also Kurama has two hands and he knows it. There's a reason Hiei/Kurama is one of the biggest ships in the fandom, their flirtation, instigated mostly and many times, by Kurama, is too much to be ignored. Hiei had THIS wonderous line "I would kill you before you could touch him (Yusuke)" which is HUGE for him and his character because his whole shtick is that he "doesn't care" about other people (he does sometimes he just doesn't show it) but when he thought Yusuke was in imminent mortal danger, he didn't hesitate even a moment to VERBALLY THREATEN (AND THEREBY ACKNOWLEDGE HOW IMPORTANT YUSUKE IS TO HIM) the one posing the danger. And he would have. And he's not a big talker, so this was a BIG MOMENT to him and his character development. Also, though not as open as Kurama, and more bashful about receiving, he reciprocates the flirtation, and seems almost to expect or wait for it at times (and then he tries it out on Yusuke, it's so cute). On Yusuke's end, he admires and respects them both, he likes them both and he just genuinely WANTS to be around them. They are right up there with the top five or so most important people in his life and his devotion is obvious. There's also the common bond between them with Kurama and Hiei being yokai, and Yusuke (SPOILER) also now being one. They have an understanding of each other and a deep care and they make such a wonderful unit, and their interactions, both between any of the two of them, or all three of them together, are just LACED with care and affection and (I think) romantic, flirtatious undertones. *deep breath* I'm so sorry about this.

A pairing that I despise: Yusuke and Keiko. And NO its not because I ship Yusuke with someone(s) else, its because I never believed them as a couple, and they seem supremely unsuited to each other. They kept saying "I love you, I love you, I like you, I miss you, I admire you, I want you" But they never seemed to show it, to prove or display that in any romantic way. They do care for each other, I'll believe that. But IN love? No. They make a horrible romantic couple, and I dislike it greatly.

[jaehyunspeachparty]

daddy jaehyun

i.xv. (maybe a little bit angst, idk)

"We are here Miga." Jaehyun unbuckled himself and went to his daughter. "Where is Mommy?" She asked as he released her from the seat. "Mommy is very tired. The baby in her belly is very heavy and she has to sleep a lot now." Jaehyun seemed to bypass the fight as much as possible, so that she didn’t knew you two were arguing. "Is Mommy dying now?" Miga looked up at her father with wide eyes. "No honey, how do you get that idea?" He lifted his daughter out of the car and took her hand. "I don’t know." She shrugged her shoulders. "Mommy is hurt because of the baby and she cries a lot." "She is crying a lot?" Jaehyun looked down in surprise at his daughter, who only nodded. At that moment he felt even worse than before. He wanted to go back to you right away, but he also wanted to respect that you needed your peace. "Miga, are you visiting your grandma today?" When Jaehyun knocked on the door, his mother immediately opened. He had already called his parents on the way and warned that he would come with his daughter for the night. "Grandma!" Miga began to squeal and immediately ran into the arms of her grandmother. Jaehyun also entered the apartment and put the bag down with his and Miga's stuff. "Maybe you like some coffee? We have a visitor and I just made one." His mother strokes his shoulders and Jaehyun nods. A coffee was just the right thing he needed now. He took off Miga's shoes, which then immediately ran in to greet her grandfather. She was relatively often with her grandparents and so she already knew the apartment exactly.

Jaehyun also took off his shoes and walked slowly into the apartment. He walked through the hallway, which was full of pictures of him and Miga. The decor had not changed much, it was partly the way it was when he was a kid. He looked at the photos and all the memories came up in him again. But he realized that there was only one photo of you and that was your wedding photo. Jaehyun didn’t thought much of it and went into the living room. But he could not believe his eyes when he saw who sat there. “Suji?” The woman with her long black hair turned and smiled when she saw him. "Jaehyun, nice to see you again." Her eyes lit up and he could see a glint. "What are you doing here?" He still could not believe what was happening. "Your mother invited me." She brushed a strand aside and straightened her body. Jaehyun just could not believe it. He had never expected his ex-girlfriend to be back in his parents' living room. Without saying anything, he immediately ran to the kitchen and asked his mother to speak. "What's that, mum? Why is Suji sitting here?" Jaehyun was angry and he did not know when he was so mad at his mother the last time. "I met her at the convenience store today and invited her for coffee." She shrugged and put some cookies on the plate. "Mum, she's my ex-girlfriend, she' has no more place in this family." "Just because you broke up with her, can’t I invite her for coffee?" His mother laughed contemptuously and slowly Jaehyun recognized the truth. "You've never invited Y/N to coffee." He realized that you were right and that disappointed him. "Oh, that's not true, we'll see her anyway." "That does not matter." Meanwhile, his voice rose, and he became more and more angry. Suddenly they heard a harrumph and when Jaehyun turned around he saw Suji standing in the kitchen. "I will go now." She put her bag on her shoulder and waved slightly. "Honey no, I'm sorry." Jaehyun's mother ran to her asking for forgiveness. "No, no problem, I didn’t hear anything. I just got a call from my company and they need me." She hugs the elderly woman warmly and then goes back. Jaehyun's mother looked at her sadly for a moment until she turned to her son angrily. "You're talking bad about your boss in the room next to where she's sitting, did I educate you so badly?" Jaehyun could only answer with a sigh and left the kitchen.

The rest of the evening he did not talk about it with his mother. That's how it was in his family, they did not really talk about the problems. After putting Miga to bed, he watched talk show with his parents. Jaehyun could not really follow the show. He usually looked into the void and wondered if he should write you. His parents talked about the show while talking and eventually he realized that he was involved in the conversation as well. "Let the boy out of there." He heard his father talk about him and slowly became attentive. "What is it about?" Jaehyun put away his phone and turned to his parents. "I mean, if things are not going well, then divorce is okay. Sometimes you go into one thing without thinking. And we live in a modern age that you don’t have to be together forever." His mother spoke as if addressing her son directly. "Mum, what do you mean by that?" Jaehyun almost knew what his mother wanted out. His father supported him: "Yes, exactly, what do you mean by that?" "I mean ... Jaehyun ... you're still young If it's not going well ... I mean ... We will not be mad if you divorce." She almost dares not look her son in the eye. But Jaehyun could not believe what he was hearing. He got up and stood in front of his mother. "I'm not going to get a divorce and I'm not planning it in the future. Y/N has been looking after Miga all the time, while she was high pregnant and I was not there for her, so I wanted to give her some quiet hours before she can not go anywhere without our baby because she has to breastfeed constantly." He rolled his eyes and he could not be in the same room with his mother anymore. That's why he turned around and went to his old room. He did not turn on the light in his room because he didn’t want to wake up Miga. He lay down and watched her for a while. She was so wonderful, so perfect, and he was so grateful in that moment that you gave him something like that. At that moment, he could not wait to hold his son in his arms soon. He would now like to stroke your stomach and feel the baby. By now the baby boy was so tall that he felt it when Jaehyun pressed against your stomach. He loved it when Sunoh responded to it, making corners in your belly because he kicked wildly. It was magical that Jaehyun was intriguing and sometimes he was jealous that you had such a connection with your child, and he had to wait so long to finally get to know him. Miga huffed as she turned sideways. Jaehyun had to smile because she was so cute, and he wondered what she was dreaming right now. He would love to share this moment with you and he just missed you so much. He stared back at his display and decides to write you. It was not easy for him to send you the text and he was nervous about your answer. It was a bit like the beginning of your relationship. He was always so nervous to write to you. As his display lit up and so your name, his heart rate went up.

He was glad that it was so peaceful between you two now. He would most like to pack Miga and drive back to you immediately. But it's better that Miga sleep well and then have good mood the next morning. He knew the night alone would not be easy without you, but he can not wait to get you back the next day.

Daddy Jaehyun Masterlist

[fallintosanity]

Since it's pride month, can I ask you what your headcanons are for everyones orientation in Providence? It's not something I can really see coming up in-story, but I'm curious nonetheless. :3

Hoo boy, anon, my answer to this is probably a lot more complex and in-depth than you were expecting, so BUCKLE UP Y’ALL LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION IN SOLDIER

(Note: I’m only going to talk about the original Compilation material for this, since that’s what TFA was written from and that’s what I’m writing Providence from.

Also all of my headcanons are colored by the fact that I am hella aro/ace myself so all flavors of allo are ??? to me)  

First off, major credit to @ageofzero​, who got me started down this headcanon path. The short version of their original headcanon is that SOLDIERs lose their sex drives due to the mako treatments, Jenova cells, and intense physical training regimen. After all, mako poisoning is a known Thing, and Jenova is a bizarre alien with no known gender (the original Japanese game never refers to her with any gender, and it’s strongly implied that her commonly-known feminine form is a shape she adopted to get close to the Cetra. Sephiroth only calls her “Mother” because Hojo lied to him that Jenova was his mother). 

I find this idea fascinating, and think it makes a lot of sense. Of the SOLDIERs we meet, only Zack seems to have any interest in forming romantic bonds with anyone, and even his relationship with Aerith is remarkably chaste. It’s impossible to know whether this is due to an actual intent to depict a chaste romantic relationship, needing to keep the games at a family-friendly rating, cultural differences between Japan and America in terms of how romantic and sexual affection are shown (especially in the 90s), the limitations of the game engine in terms of having the characters physically interact, or some combination of the above, but the result is that the canon we are shown does not include anything approaching a sexual relationship between two characters.*

Given all that, and given the unsettling implications you find if you so much as scratch the surface of ShinRa’s human experimentation**, I think it’s eminently reasonable to believe that however they might have started life, SOLDIERs no longer have sex drives or sexual desire. Which is all an incredibly long-winded way of saying, I headcanon all the SOLDIERs as some flavor of asexual: 

Sephiroth: Extremely aro/ace. I’ve talked before about how I think he sees people and relationships differently than humans do, and that extends to romance and sex. I’m not even sure “aro/ace” is the right label for him under those circumstances, but it’s close enough. 

Genesis: Ace, bi- or homoromantic. TFA and its non-canon side pieces suggest Genesis is romantically interested in Cloud (which I’ve been carrying into Providence), and we have no idea if he’s ever been romantically interested in anyone else. 

Angeal: Ace, probably either aro or heteroromantic. Like Genesis, we never see him express romantic interest in anyone, but it’s possible he does off-screen. 

Zack: Probably would have been bi or poly if he wasn’t in SOLDIER; as is, ace and bi- or poly-romantic. (but really only has eyes for Aerith) 

Kunsel: Ace, maybe demi-romantic? He’s eighteen in Providence and has been focused on rising through the SOLDIER ranks; I don’t think he himself knows for sure. 

Cloud: A bit of an outlier because I headcanon that he would have been aro/ace even if he hadn’t gotten the mako/Jenova treatments. At no point in any of the original game or greater Compilation does he express romantic or sexual interest in anyone. He cares deeply about Aerith and Tifa both, but at no point says or does anything to suggest that it’s romantic or sexual in nature. Tifa occasionally says things which imply she sees her relationship with Cloud that way, but he never responds in kind. At best, his childhood interest in her could be a bit of a puppy crush, but that doesn’t rule out aro/ace Cloud since so many aro/aces do experience puppy crushes or squishes that aren’t sexual/romantic in nature. Or it could be as simple as, Tifa was the popular kid and Cloud was the outcast kid, and he was interested in her because if she was friends with him, then maybe he wouldn’t be an outcast anymore. (I lied, I’m going to talk about the Remake for a second because I’m intrigued that it appears to have doubled down hard on ace!Cloud, to the point where a lot of people have said “I don’t normally have ace headcanons, but Remake!Cloud is ace”. He’s either completely oblivious to, or visibly uncomfortable with, half the cast wanting to get into his pants. Even when Aerith warns him not to fall in love with her, his objection is to her telling him what to do yet again rather than anything about his actual feelings.) 

Noctis: I realized as I was writing this post that I also headcanon Noctis as ace and probably aro- or demi-romantic. Like Cloud, we never see him express romantic or sexual interest toward anyone, which is notable given that he’s supposed to be marrying Lunafreya. He certainly seems to care deeply about her, but - like Cloud and Tifa/Aerith - his affection can be easily read as a close childhood friendship, and depending on which answers you give in the notebook choices, can canonically be brusque and uninterested. He’s also visibly uncomfortable with Gladio’s flirting (with other people) and Iris’s flirting (with Noct himself). Since we do see Gladio flirting, pretty brazenly sometimes, and we hear Prompto chatter about his crush on Cindy, Noct’s silence on the matter is telling. (He also throws an interesting wrench into the works around the SOLDIER castration headcanon, since he did get the treatments but they affected him very differently than everyone else. But I can’t say too much else there without venturing into spoiler territory.) 

So anyway hi, my name is Sanity and I have a lot of ace headcanons. ^_^;

* The closest we get is the scene near the end of the original game, with Cloud and Tifa under the Highwind before the final battle. The scene itself is, again, remarkably chaste. Depending on your Affection value with Tifa, it’s not even all that romantic; it reads mostly like two friends who have been through a lot together. The few lines that do shade toward romance all come from Tifa herself, not Cloud. Also, what Tifa says the next morning on the Highwind changes depending on whether or not your Affection value is high enough; if yes, she asks the others, “Were you watching?” and if no, she asks, “Were you listening?”. So it’s possible to get a canon path which suggests Tifa and Cloud did something she didn’t want the others watching, but 1) that still leaves a lot of room for interpretation, and 2) it’s equally possible to get a canon path which suggests nothing happened at all.

** I’m just going to quote @ageofzero​ here because they put it best: “It might've been an unintended side-effect, of course, but idk how anyone could've thought 'let's put Mako inside human beings' when everyone knows what a powerful burning energy source Mako is and what the hell that might do inside a human when people have likely already suffered Mako poisoning from building Midgar/the reactors. And also considering that Mako is a 'refining' of Lifestream that basically strips away all the benefits of Life within it, there's no way it's not some kind of reproduction dampening substance, among many other negative consequences. [...] ESPECIALLY since a lot of SOLDIERs probably start out in their teen years (Zack, and Cloud's attempt). They're still developing humans, and who knows what effects Mako has on someone who's still passing through adolescence???? Angeal, Genesis, and Sephiroth are all even worse off because they were babies when they were made prototype experiments for the SOLDIER method. [...] I can't imagine mako doing anything but turning the body into a weird toxic mess even if it is controlled and regulated so they don't suffer the loss of their mind. And what the hell does it do to SOLDIERs on a DNA level?? With how much mako (and Jenova cells) there is in their body, it could turn body fluids into burning/glowing/toxic substances. All body fluids. Or at the very least make it Not Good to be exposed to said fluids, if they're not directly toxic/mako-infused. It might very well be the brain turning off reproductive desires bc SOLDIERs are a biological dead end by the time they're strong enough to be considered SOLDIER. What a chilling concept (also hello I like thinking about weird biology).”

[taetaespeaches]

Idk if requests are open so I'm sorry if they're not, but could i request bestfriend namjoon, where you go w him to his home town to see his family and his family don't believe you're "just friends" and constantly ship you both? Sorry if your requests are closed - I'll use this as an opportunity to tell you how much I love your writing. You're one of the best writers I've found! You nice, keep going 💓💓

“We believe you. We believe thatyou think you’re just friends”

Namjoon x Reader

Word count: 5.3K

a/n: Thanks for requesting this babe, and thanks for the amazing compliment :) I’m so flattered that you like my work. I loved writing this, obviously, since it’s by far my longest piece so far. I’m just so soft for Namjoon and the whole friends to lovers trope. I hope you and everyone else enjoys this! 

p.s. My requests are always open, I just may not get to it for a while. Thank you for being patient! :) 

You almost didn’t notice the lackof music buzzing in your ear as the busy sounds of the subway car flooded youreardrum. “Where are you right now?” Namjoon whispered into your ear, causingyou to quickly turn to face him in surprise, noticing him holding your earbudbetween his fingers.

“Huh?” You asked him with big eyesas his lips turned upwards a bit at your surprised reaction. “I’m right here.”Namjoon cocked his head at you, appearing to disapprove of your answer.

“No,” he shook his head. “Yourbody is here, but your mind,” he gently tapped his finger on your forehead, “issomewhere else.” You simply shrugged in response, Namjoon lightly chuckling.“Are you nervous?” He asked gently with a small smile.

As a bashful smile formed on yourmouth as you nodded. “Kind of.” Namjoon watched you intently, trying to gageyour emotions. “It’s your family, and they’re important to you, and you’reimportant to me, so therefore, they’re important to me and I just want them tolike me,” you admitted with an embarrassed giggle as your cheeks tinted pink.

Namjoon actually laughed inyour face, shaking his head in disbelief, causing you to pull your eyebrowstogether in a glare. “Y/n, you’re my best friend. I love you and they’ll loveyou too,” he assured you as he slung his arm around your shoulders, pulling youinto his body. “Just relax.” And relax is what you did as a response to histouch. He popped the earbud in his own ear, ignoring the glances from theothers on the subway, who were intrigued by your sudden and unnecessarycuddling. “What are we listening to?”

Playfully rolling your eyes, yousighed as you held your phone up to him to show him the name of the song andartist displayed on the screen. He simply nodded, and the two of you stayedjust like that for the remainder of the 25-minute subway ride to Ilsan.

Walking down the streets of Ilsanas you made your way to a bus stop, Namjoon pointed things out to youexcitedly. He had been talking about bringing you home to Ilsan with him forwhat seemed like forever, and he was ecstatic you were finally there with him,even if just for a day. The original plan was to stay for the weekend, butBTS-related business required him to shorten the trip to just one night.

Loading the bus, you struggled tocarry your overnight bag through the seats, causing Namjoon to laugh at yourstruggle. Shooting him a glare, he tried to cut his laughter off, but to noavail. Holding his hand out, he gestured for you to give him the bag. “Come on,”he told you as he took the bag out of your hands with a smile still on hisface. “Sit down,” he gestured to the two seats. “You get the window seat so youcan see the city.” Taking your seat, you smiled fondly at Namjoon as sat downnext to you.

“Thank you,” you told him quietly,making him nod at you, placing his hand on your knee for a moment, just longenough to squeeze it affectionately before he removed his touch.

As the bus started moving, youstared out the window as Namjoon stared at you, watching your face forreactions to his hometown. Feeling his stare on you, your lips turned upwards.“Stop watching me,” you teased him without even a glance towards him, to whichNamjoon quickly averted his eyes to the opposite side of the bus with a bigsmile spread across his features, dimples on full display for anyone who mayhave been looking at him. As he looked away from you, feigning innocence, hemade eye contact with an elderly couple who were both smiling adoringly at him.Feeling slightly nervous under their gaze, he bowed politely.

“You two make a beautiful couple,”the man said as the woman nodded in agreement. Their words made you turn tolook at them, cheeks already flushed with red at their comment. You smiled atthem and bowed, not wanting to correct them.

“Thank you,” he told them as hisbody heated up in embarrassment. Turning to face you, you both looked at eachother and tried to hold back your laughter. You and Namjoon? Yeah right, youthought. It wasn’t that you weren’t interested. In fact, you had always beeninterested in Namjoon. But when you first met, you went straight intofriendship, and it would difficult for that relationship to change into somethingelse… wouldn’t it? Sometimes the way he flirted with you made you feel like hemay be into you, but you also couldn’t believe that your best friend wouldactually reciprocate the confusing feeling you had for him.

Suddenly, by the grace of god,Namjoon pointed out the window. “This is our stop.“

As you stood up, you both smiledand bowed at the couple once more before exiting the bus. “That was soawkward,” you laughed as the bus drove away, Namjoon bursting into his ownlaughter. However, he didn’t say anything else regarding the topic. Did it meannothing to him, or did it mean too much?

“Here, the house is this way,” hesaid, stepping in front of you as he led you towards the direction of his home.As you tried to take your bag out of his hand, he pulled it away from you. “Igot it, babe,” he told you with a smile. You nodded, smiling graciously at him.

After walking just for a coupleminutes, he stopped and pointed at a cozy looking house. “That’s it,” hesmiled.

Your eyes lit up at therealization that this was where your best friend grew up. “Oh wow,” you smiledbrightly. “It’s beautiful, Joonie.” As you took in the sight of the home, hiseyes were locked on your features, admiring your enthusiasm for a simple house.

“Namjoon!” A woman yelled inexcitement as she stepped out of the house, pulling his gaze from you to thevoice.

“Mom!” He smiled happily, quicklystepping towards his mom. Looking back at you, he gestured for you to followhim, to which you obliged, following closely behind. As he greeted his mom in ahug, you watched the scene, feeling an overwhelming happiness. When his dadstepped outside, Namjoon greeted him with a hug as they both chuckled into theembrace. You stood by, watching the reunion fondly. As Namjoon stood next toyou once again, he grabbed your hand in an effort to calm your nerves.

“Mom, dad, this is—“

“You must be y/n,” His mominterrupted him with a giddy grin.

“Yeah, this is my best friendy/n,” he looked at you. Namjoon’s parents shared a knowing look, though youweren’t sure what they knew, before his mom stepped towards you andpulled you into a hug.

“It’s so nice to meet you, y/n,”his mom told you as she squeezed you tightly.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” youtold her as she pulled away, keeping her hands placed on your shoulders as shestudied your face.

“Aren’t you beautiful,” she saidmore to herself than to you. Looking up at her husband, she asked for hisconfirmation. “Don’t you think, Dear?” Namjoon cocked his head in confusion athis parents’ reaction to meeting you.

Mr. Kim nodded in agreement,flashing Namjoon a proud smile, to which Namjoon scrunched his eyebrows, hisconfusion increasing. His dad held his hand out for you to shake. “Nice to meetyou, y/n.”

“You as well,” you said as youshook his hand.

“I’m happy to be able to put aface to all the stories,” he told you with a happy chuckle.

Eyes widening, you looked from Mr.Kim to Namjoon. “Stories?” Namjoon immediately blushed. “Hopefully goodstories,” you smiled, still a little nervous.

“Oh, of course, sweetheart.Namjoon just likes to talk about you. We feel like we already know you,” Mrs.Kim smiled.

“Oh he does, does he?” You teased,looking at Namjoon as he bashfully hid his grin behind his hand.

“Now, come in, you two,” his momsaid suddenly, leading the way inside. “How was the trip?”

“It was good,” Joon told hisparents. “Quick. It’s amazing how little I make it out here when it’s soclose,” he frowned slightly.

“You’re here now, though,” his dadsaid as he patted his son’s shoulder. “How do you like Ilsan so far, y/n?”

“I like it a lot,” you assuredwith a smile. “I’m excited to tour the city a little bit. It’s very prettyhere. And the people seem nice.”

“Yeah,” Namjoon agreed, his eyeswidening. “We already met a sweet older couple on the bus. They thought we madea beautiful couple,” he laughed, as you shook your head with a smile,both of you still in disbelief of being mistaken as a couple. Namjoon’s dadsmiled widely at that.

“Well, you do,” Mrs. Kim confirmed.“A very beautiful couple.” Joon quickly shook his head as you blushed.

“Mom—“

“You two go get settled and thenI’ll cook us some lunch, ok? You sister will be here shortly,” she toldNamjoon. “You know where your room is, and I’ve prepared the guest room fory/n, but, perhaps you want to share a room?”

Namjoon quite literally choked ashe shook his head. “No, that’s ok,” you smiled. “I’ll take the guest room,thank you.”

“Mom,” Namjoon finally sputteredout.

She looked at him with wide eyes.“What? I’m not naive.” Namjoon stared at her questioningly. “If you want toshare a room, we’re ok with that.”

“Mom, we’re just friends,” hesaid, making his mom look at him in surprise. “We’re friends,” he gesturedbetween the two of you.

“Ha!” Mr. Kim laughed out loud.

“Sure, sweetie,” she smiled at youboth. “Go get settled.”

His parents walked out of theliving room to the kitchen, leaving you and your best friend standing thereawkwardly. “What the fuck?” You whispered, making Joon chuckle.

“I have no idea,” he said as heturned to face you.

“Do they think we’re together?”You asked with shock lacing your tone. Namjoon shrugged, making you look at himwith wide eyes. “Joon,” you whined.

“I’ll set them straight, don’tworry,” he assured you, making you sigh. Namjoon pulled you into him for a hugas you sighed into his chest.

“I was already nervous to meetthem, and now they think we’re a couple,” you complained as you wrapped yourarms around the comforting man’s waist.

“I honestly don’t know where theygot the idea that we’re a couple,” he said as you literally stood in the middleof his home holding each other comfortingly.

Pulling away to look at him, youflashed a teasing grin. “Maybe because you talk about me so much,” you giggled.

“Don’t,” he warned as he pulledyou back into his embrace. You continued to chuckle into his chest.

“I like them,” you smiled as heheld you. Looking up at him, you were met with his excited grin.

“Yeah?” He asked, his dimplespopping out. You nodded as he squeezed your body against him. “I’m glad.”

“Namjoon!” A younger girl’s voicesounded across the room, your best friend and you quickly separating to see hisyounger sister standing there with a grin.

“Hey!” Namjoon greeted cheerfully.“Come here,” he gestured for her to come to you both. “You remember y/n,right?”

“Of course,” she said as you bothsmiled and waved at each other before Namjoon pulled her into a hug. You hadmet his sister over FaceTime once and ended up talking to her for nearly 40minutes before Namjoon made you both cut the call off. “I thought you werebringing a friend, not y/n,” she said suggestively, looking up at her bother.

“Y/n is my friend,” heclarified with a confused look. She raised her eyebrows, nodding, however, notbelieving.

“It’s nice to meet youofficially,” you smiled at his sister, holding your hand out to shake.

Shaking your hand, she agreed witha big smile. “Wow,” she said looking at you. “You got yourself a looker,” shetold her brother, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Oh my god, we’re just friends,”he groaned.

“Uh huh,” his sister said as shemade her way to the kitchen, sporting a sly smile. He looked at you infrustration.

“We’re just friends,” he yelledout so his whole family could hear, making them all giggle, as your faceflushed with heat.

“I’m so sorry,” he looked at you,his lips remaining in the shape of a small smile, showing his amusement of thesituation.

Smiling, you shook your head.“It’s ok,” you assured. “It’s just kind of weird how everyone here thinks we’rea couple.”

He shook his head in disbelief ofeveryone’s perceptions of your relationship. “How come no one in Seoul evermistakes us for a couple? We’re practically still in Seoul, why would it be sodifferent here?” He complained. 

“There must be something in thewater here,” you joked as you reached for your bag. Namjoon chuckled as hegrabbed his bag and led you to the bedrooms.

“So, here’s the guest room,” hesaid as he opened the door and led you inside. Setting your bag on the bed,your eyes scanned the room. “My room is right across the hall,” he pointed. Yousimply nodded as a wicked smile overtook your face. “What?” He asked nervously.

Shaking your head nonchalantly,you tiptoed to the door, your grin growing. Namjoon suddenly caught on, rushingto stop you from entering his childhood room. He caught you in the hallwaybefore you could open his bedroom door, his arms wrapping around your waist,lifting you off the ground, your back pressed against his chest. You squealedin laughter as he sported an amused grin. “Just let me see your room,” you whinedas you squirmed in his arms.

You both didn’t realize yourlaughter had caught the attention of his family, who were standing down thehallway watching you both fondly.

“I will,” he assured. “On onecondition, though.” You hummed in acknowledgement, waiting for his terms. “Nomaking fun of me for whatever you find in there,” he whispered against yourear, sending tingles across your skin.

“You’re no fun,” you teased,making him sigh through a shy smile. “Joon, I promise,” you assured. At that,he set you down and that’s when he caught his family watching you out of thecorner of his eye. You noticed the surprise in his face and followed his gaze.Upon seeing them all smiling at you both, you suddenly felt shy, instinctivelytucking yourself into your best friend’s side for comfort, Namjooninstinctively pulling you in closer.

“We’re just friends,” he told themsternly before shoving you into his bedroom. As he shut the door behind him, hestarted ranting about his family and apologizing for you. However, you were toobusy looking at his childhood room to care about that.

Looking over the plushies thatadorned the walls and were scattered throughout the room, you smiled to yourself,thankful that this sweet man hadn’t changed from youth to adulthood. Walking overto his nightstand, you picked up a picture frame of him as a young boy, hislittle sister on his back. “Oh my god, Joonie, you were so cute.” You cut himoff mid rant, making him look at you with big adorable eyes and a small ‘huh?’You smiled at him as you held the picture frame up. “You have the same smile,”you cooed.

A bashful grin appeared on hisface as he looked down towards the floor. “You promised you wouldn’t make funof me.”

“I’m not,” you defended. “I’madmiring how freaking adorable you are.”

“Did you just say how adorable youare? As in how adorable I am? Presenttense?” You glared at his widely grinning face. “Is that what you said?” Hecontinued to tease.

“Just take the compliment andknock it off,” you giggled. He smiled bashfully, covering his mouth with hishands.

“Thanks,” he said quietly as helifted his eyes to meet your own fond ones. Setting the frame back down, yousaw the notebook laying on the table. As you reached for the notebook, Namjoonwas suddenly at your side, grabbing your wrist to stop you. “Please don’t,” hebegged. Looking at him, you cocked your head.

“What is it?” You smiledmischievously. He stared at you, silently pleading with you not to look at thenotebook. You gasped. “Old songs?” Your smile grew when he didn’t deny yourguess. “Babe, please let me read it, please,” you begged as he shook his head.“I promised I wouldn’t make fun of you,” you pouted.

“No,” he said as he took thenotebook off the table and held it above his head.

“Really?” You glared. “Holding itover your head? I’m not that short,” you complained, making him laugh.“Joon, I’m not gonna read it if you don’t want me to,” you told him sincerely.Looking into your eyes, he saw your sincerity.

He lowered his arm, holding thenotebook out to you. “No, it’s ok,” you smiled. “You don’t have to show me.”

“No, go ahead,” he assured you itwas ok as he placed the notebook in your palm. Your smile spread further acrossyour face, but you still waited for his go ahead. “I already show you everysingle song I write, no matter how shitty it is—“

“None of them are shitty—”

“Go ahead. I actually don’tremember what any of these lyrics are so we’ll read them together,” he smiledbashfully. Instead of taking the notebook from him, you instead crawled ontohis bed, laying on your stomach, propping yourself up on your elbows.

“Come on,” you patted the spotnext to you, Namjoon immediately plopping down next to you. He opened thenotebook and you both started reading the childish lyrics. They weren’t bad fora kid, but some of them were pretty silly, making you both laugh. Every once ina while, you pulled your eyes from the pages to watch Namjoon’s amusementdisplayed across his stunning features.

Eventually, you both started todoze off, both of you exhausted from staying up late in the studio the nightbefore. Namjoon was working tirelessly on the comeback, and you had brought himdinner and ended up crashing on his sofa.

When Namjoon’s father came in tocollect you both for lunch, he fell upon the scene of you curled into Namjoon’sside as he slept on his stomach, his arms protectively wrapped around yourshoulders. You were both lightly snoring, making his dad almost sad to wake youboth. He shook Namjoon’s arm until Joon stirred awake, his eyes immediatelyfalling on your sleeping form, tucked in tightly to his side. He could feel yourarm draped across his lower back, your legs wrapped around his own like a koalabear. Namjoon smiled contentedly before looking up to see his dad smilingfondly at the two of you. Namjoon’s cheeks flushed as his dad shook his head.“You’re just friends,” his dad said with a knowing smile. “I know, son.” Thetone in which he spoke, mixed with the smile he flashed, made Namjoon shove hisface in the bed in embarrassment. He felt as though his dad just ripped downevery wall Namjoon had ever built up, leaving him and his feelings bare, withnothing to hide behind anymore.

His dad gently patted Namjoon’shead. “Y/n is a good person to have, no matter what you two are to each other. Youboth are very lucky to have each other,” his dad said, smiling at his son.“Lunch is ready, so come and eat.” With that, he left the room, leaving Namjoonto deal with the butterflies that had just exploded in his chest at therealization that followed his dad’s words.

Reluctantly, he rolled away fromyou, tickling your nose to wake you up. Groaning, you pushed his hand away, buthe then just attacked your sides with his fingers. “Babe, stop,” you whined,your eyes fluttering open. Babe. He’d heard you call him that name amillion times before, yet this time it made his heart pound against his chest.

“Let’s go eat,” he said. Withthose words, you popped up, your stomach immediately growling in response.

“Food,” you whispered, Namjoonlaughing at you. He took your hand and led you out of the room to the kitchen.

As your sleepy forms stumbled intothe kitchen, Namjoon’s family all looked at you, his mom giggling a bit at yourand Namjoon’s puffy eyes. “Did you two get a good nap in?” She asked as she setthe final dish on the already full table. Namjoon nodded as he pulled out achair and sat in the one next to it, you sitting down in the chair he pulledout. The subtle action did not go unnoticed by Namjoon’s family as they allsilently swooned.

“Thank you so much for this meal,it looks amazing,” you bowed to Mrs. Kim, making her graciously smile at you,Namjoon affectionately smiling at you both.

“Why are you two so tired, anyway?”Namjoon’s dad asked you both as everyone dug into the food. Slurping down somenoodles, Namjoon spoke up.

“We were up late. I’ve beenworking on the album, and y/n was kind enough to hang out with me in thestudio,” he told them as he ate a bit more. His mom shook her head indisapproval.

“You need to stop working yourselfso hard, Namjoon. Working hard is one thing, but I’m worried you’re overdoingit.” Namjoon’s dad nodded in agreement. You stopped eating as you glanced atNamjoon to gage his reaction. This was a touchy subject for Joon, and you knewthat because you had attempted to tell him the exact same thing on severaloccasions.

“I’m not overdoing it,” hedefended calmly. “I’m just doing my job.”

“But rest is important,” Namjoon’sdad told him.

Namjoon nodded in acknowledgement.“I’m getting rest. My schedule is just different than most people.” Namjoonlooked at you to meet your gentle gaze, helping him to keep his aggravation atbay. “Trust me, I get rest. This one makes sure of that,” he gestured to youwith a laugh.

“Well we’re very thankful to youthen, dear,” his mother told you with a smile. “But who is making sure youget rest if you’re staying up with him all night in the studio?” She asked youbefore looking to Namjoon, making his body flood with guilt.

“Oh, no, I don’t usually stay upwith him. I’ll bring him food or just hang out for a bit, and then I go home beforeit gets too late. Last night was a rarity. He doesn’t usually let me stay toolong,” you looked at Namjoon gently. “He worries about me too much to let mestay up late,” you laughed. “I can sleep pretty much anywhere, and I think thecouch in his studio is just as comfortable as my bed, but he still insists I gohome to get a good night’s rest,” you explained with a smile. His family’s eyesbounced between you and a bashful Namjoon as you spoke. “I actually wish he’dlet me stay late with him more often,” you continued. “It’s inspiring to seehim work on something he’s so passionate about.” Namjoon’s sister pouted at yourwords, overwhelmed by how cute you two were, while his mother and father lookedat each other and smiled.

Namjoon caught on to his family’sreactions, groaning in response. “We really are just friends,” he said quietly,your cheeks heating up instantly, realizing how you just furthered theirsuspicion of your relationship.

“Mhmm,” his mom nodded. “You’rewhatever you say you are.” His dad nodded in agreement with his mother.

“You still don’t believe us, doyou?” Namjoon asked in defeat.

“We believe you,” Namjoon’s dadassured. “We believe that you thinkyou’re just friends.” You couldn’t help but giggle at his dad’s choice ofwords, making his dad point a finger at you with a wide smile. Namjoon chuckledas well, looking down at his plate as he placed a hand on the back of yourchair.

“Would it be so bad to be morethan just friends?” Namjoon’s mom quietly asked you both, just as you shoved abunch of food into your mouth. Joon looked over at you and chuckled fondly atyour full cheeks which might as well have been permanently painted red at thispoint. He found himself smiling like an idiot, utterly amused by you and yourcuteness.

“Ok, ok, let’s just eat,” Namjoontold them with a blush across his cheeks. You hid a smile with your hand as youswallowed the last of the food. Looking over to Namjoon, you were met by hisadoring gaze. Admiring the man you called your best friend, you couldn’t help butlet your mind wander over the possibilities if you ever did allow yourrelationship to venture into romantics. No, it wouldn’t be so bad.  

After finishing the meal, you,Joon, and his sister prepared to head out so they could take you on a shorttour of the city. With the weather still being a bit cold, Joon handed you a beanieto wear. Smiling, you took it, pulling it over your hair. Looking up at him, heflashed you a close-mouthed smile, his dimples popping out, as he looked at thetufts of hair sticking out wildly underneath the beanie. Reaching up slowly, headjusted the beanie, tucking your hair into it nicely. When he finished, henodded at you, leaving his hands on the sides of your face for a moment.

“Oh my god, just date already!”His sister yelled at you both as she walked outside, ready to leave. Both ofyour cheeks flushed red again as he quickly removed his hands from you. Youswiftly walked past him to head outside, pushing aside the butterflies thatwere now fluttering throughout your body.

As Namjoon and his sister escortedyou around, showing you their favorite spots, your interactions with Joon feltdifferent. For example, Namjoon often held your hand. It was never anythingthat concealed more meaning, but rather just a friendly display of affection.You both did love each other, but you weren’t in love… at least you didn’tthink so. Did everyone around you see something you both didn’t?

However, when he reached for yourhand to bring your attention to his favorite cafe, you felt a spark ignite wherehis skin touched your own, heat bursting in your chest, flowing throughout yourentire frame. You pulled your hand out of his grasp, almost scared of how itmade you feel, making him look at you with confusion and a bit of letdown. “Doyou want to go in?” He asked you as if you didn’t just have that awkwardinteraction. Nodding, the three of you walked towards the cafe.

Upon entering, you could seeexactly why Joon loved this cafe so much. It was cozy and modern. The woodenshelves full of books and albums that littered the walls gave it a verycomfortable vibe. You imagined a younger version of your best friend, cominginto this very cafe and feeling at home, surrounded by the experiences ofothers that had been put into words on a page and into the grooves of therecords.

“This place feels like you,” youtold him with a smile, making him blush under your adoring gaze.

After ordering, Joon’s sisterwaited at the counter for your drinks and desserts, while you and Joon found aseat next to the window. “I’m sorry if my family’s comments have been makingyou feel awkward,” he told you sadly, obviously feeling bad about it especiallysince you pulled your hand out of his. Quickly, you shook your head, placingyour hand over his in an attempt to let him know you didn’t feel awkward. Ifanything, you felt too comfortable with what the commentsinsinuated about your relationship “I just don’t know why they keep makingcomments.”

Looking down at your hand that washolding the back of his, you let out a mixture of a scoff and a laugh. “Joon,”you gestured at your hands. “You don’t know why? Really?”

Looking at your hands, pink tintedhis cheeks. Readjusting your hands, so they were palm to palm and your fingerswere intertwined, he smiled shyly. “What? This?”He asked teasingly as he squeezed your hand. “So now we’re a couple because wehold hands sometimes?”

“We call each other babe,” youtold him.

“Yeah, as like, a friend thing,”he justified. “We’re affectionate towards each other. That doesn’t make us acouple.”

Nodding, you agreed. “I know, butcan you at least see why peoplethink we are?” Sighing, he nodded.“As long as we know what we are though, then who cares what other people think,right?”

“But do we know what we are?” Heasked, slightly shocking you.

Suddenly, Joon’s sister appearedat the table, balancing three drinks and three desserts. you quickly removedyour hand from Namjoon’s to help her set the treats down. “Thanks,” she told youas you smiled at her. Noticing the heavy atmosphere between you and herbrother, she excused herself to the restroom. “I’ll, uh, be back in a few,” shesaid as she made her way across the room, looking back at you with a curiousgaze.

Locking your eyes with Namjoon,you chuckled. “She’s observant,” you noted, making him cock his head at you,waiting for an answer to his previous question. Sighing, you shrugged. “We’rebest friends, Joon.” He nodded in agreement.

“We are. But that doesn’t make us justfriends.” He looked back down at your hands which were no longerintertwined, but your fingers were playfully dancing together on the tabletop,making both of your lips turn up just the slightest bit.

“Have we ever been just friends?”You asked him, locking your gaze on his features to try to read what he wasfeeling.

He didn’t say anything, but youknew what he was telling you with his eyes. Both of you knew you were never just friends. There were other factorsat play when you met that kept you both from allowing yourselves to feel morethan friendship with each other. Timing was a big one. You were balancingschool and part time jobs and he was busy being the leader of a massivelypopular boy group. Another one was the fear you both had to let someone in. Itwas scary giving yourself to someone, putting your trust and faith into them.However, throughout your friendship, you let each other in anyway. He was theperson you trusted the most. You believed in him and you had faith in him. Andthe feelings were mutual.

“Ok, I tried to stay away, but mydrink is getting cold and I really want to eat my cookie,” Namjoon’s sisterwhined, sliding into the seat next to you. You laughed and pushed her drinktowards her.

“You’re fine,” you assured her.

“Did I give you enough time?” Sheasked you both, looking from you to her older brother. “Are you still justfriends,” she mocked Namjoon’s voice.

You both laughed in response,looking at each other to see how the other would respond. You shook your head,giving him the answer he needed. Reaching for your hand again, he tangled hisfingers with your own. “No,” he answered his sister, however, he was looking atyou, letting you know his words were for you. “We’re not just friends.”

[rsmrymnt-tea]

Ajdhdjsk okokok I just need to say it to get it out of my head but I feel like in a soulmate au, Dola's family would like,,, have her soulmark removed? To encourage her to focus on her art or whatever. And then Satan not being sold on the concept of soulmates, not saying anything when he feels that connection to her, and her not saying anything coz she doesn't even have the mark to prove it and wouldn't he have said if he felt the same?? Okay that's everything no more talking about soulmates.

I'm glad you're doing well!! I did see you wrote a thing but I don't think I can read it because hanahaki squicks me out 😭. Very glad you had fun writing it!! Super duper intrigued by what you've said about Lucifer and Dola's relationship as well :O

I'm pretty alright!! Morgen is..... Well I realised it's about time to actually work on them interacting with the other characters and stuff and then I got scared and started procrastinating lol.

I'm not super sure on how to write other people's characters and I really don't wanna get it wrong skfjsks. I know I'm the only one seeing it but it's still sjsksjd. Doesn't help that the love interest I see meshing best for them isn't my favourite either lol

Aksjsj why is creating stuff so hard 😮‍💨

Well okay I did like, write out an outline of how their childhood and teenage years go so I've not been completely unproductive with them but yknow. Might have to replay the game to try and get the creative juices flowing.

Anyway!!! Please tell me about amnesiac!Dola!! Either version!! I am going to look at your corruption arc Dola art again rn because demon!Dola is just akdhdjs perfect

- 🐝

… Nonnie… come on… You just sold me a really interesting soulmate au concept that likely involves lots of mutual pining and now I’m going to be thinking about it a lot…. I’d have to write this myself too >:( Unless you wanna? Lol

Ooh dw that’s fair!! Tbh just from the horror-ish take on hanahaki with the thing being a literal curse Dola developed with Lucifer’s help as revenge I’m not sure a lot would really read it because it’s not the slightest bit romantic (unless you think its lovely that dola went after someone who tried to mess with her boyfriend?)—it’s def something that that’s mostly self indulgent in like, a different way >.> And Dola and Lucifer only show up at the very end to inspect their handiwork too so it’s not like it’s fun to read if that’s what youre after lol

(Also shsjaj honestly next to Sol and Satan, I really enjoy thinking of stuff Dola does with Lucifer… Because unintentionally he ended up being someone who has a lot to offer Dola and vice versa? Anyway—)

Aaaaaa gosh, one of the more stressful and challenging parts of making a character… If it’s any solace it took a long time for me to feel any level confident in how I see Dola and Satan’s interactions and how their relationship unfolds? In the end I realized that all my favorite takes on Satan written by others were actually pretty different with a few key core characteristics kept in but presented at different levels. So so long as those key parts of the character are kept I think you’re good and people won’t notice that much? And like… Morgen’s going to be different from canon MC there so of course the characters are going to be different with them too, and since Morgen’s unique to your writing it’s even harder to spot what could be OOC

(Also idk. Unless the author themself says that x character would do y and z in situation n explicitly I think just by virtue of everyone understanding each character differently, your take may not necessarily be OOC or wrong? Also sometimes the slightly [sometimes heavily] altered version of a character is way more enjoyable than canon but this feels like an OM thing more than in media in general >.<)

But gosh… how’d you end up with your least favorite character being Morgen’s ideal LI?? Doesn’t that take some fun away? 😖

Waaaaa tell me about their childhood and stuff (if you want to, ofc!)!! And hopefully playing the game again would help… Perhaps you’ll spot ways for your fav characters to end up meshing great with Morgen along the way? 👀

As for amnesiac!Dola… One takes pretty much fluffy with a bit of ‘oh… hold on’ kinda sad realization about her past while one’s kinda… tragic in a way? Guess which is which ahsjshs

For the fluffier ‘her memories are gone for a while’ while she’s human version, it’s a bit like when Lucifer lost his memories in S2? Her walls are all gone and she has no reason to keep her cards so close to her chest, plus much of what’s made her Like That in the first place has been forgotten.

So quiet, serious, and private Dolasach who keeps herself fairly reserved most of the time turns into someone who’s a good deal more raw and expressive, but open with how she feels. I feel like she’d been more relaxed overall and have the same kind of naive freshness that amnesiac!Lucifer had too. There would definitely be that same vague hints of memory in her that remembers most of the cast sans the royals too.

Overall I think she’d be like a whole new person and while the brothers enjoy and make the most of it they’d also be like dang… what happened to her?

The other angstier version is of course demon!Dola and I… have honestly been thinking about it some.

Basically as Dola turned into a demon, she lost all memories of her life as a human but still has the personality she had as a human and lots of vague, fragmented bits of her memory. She very very vaguely recognizes the brothers and the angels, and is a lot more drawn to Satan and Solomon for reasons she doesn’t understand. A lot of things make her feel like she’s been there or done that or heard of that before but she can’t remember, and everyone tries their best to bring back all those memories.

It’s a little bit of a parallel to Satan’s whole thing, except it’s like… She’ll be wrangling with that fact that her existence brings them all pain because she’s just not the human they all love so much? That they don’t actually love her but an old version of her that they’re all desperately trying to bring back and no matter what she does, she will actually never be able to divorce herself from her human self because she’s so much the same.

It would genuinely be like… even if she got her memories as a human back, she’s not actually the same person anymore? It would be just demon!Dola but with all the memories of human!Dola so it’s not like anyone’s getting their Dola ‘back’ and more just now the demon they all live with knows where theyre all coming from and what they mean when they talk about the past with her.

Idk I just got super into thinking about how demon!Dola would be tbh and it just went here and it’s kinda really from wondering ‘how can i really make her suffer’ because I kept thinking about Dola as the Avatar of Despair or something roughly that >.>