#idk if im saying something obvious but ive had this on my mind for so long i had to write it down

[haematoclan]

Leo's relationship with death

Leo really doesn't like to think about death.

I mean, we all saw how much impact Karai's death had on all of Mad Dogs but Leo was the only one that had to be dragged from her, yelling after her, he really, really didn't want to lose her.

And I think when he lost her it left a deep scar.

I saw posts talking how Leo wants for things to get back to normal and pretend nothing happened, which I completely agree with. I think it's in big part because of his fear of repeating losing a close one.

He REALLY doesn't want to even acknowledge death.

Here Raph seemed to be getting through to Leo-

-but the moment he mentions possibility of his family dying?

Nope, time to deflect, joke and feign ignorance.

Leo's aware that death is a big part of being a responsible hero and that's why he'd rather goof off with his brothers and not train.

Because obviously when you ignore something it just dissapears, right? So if they ignore severity of certain situations and possibility of dying it won't happen, right?

If they don't treat it seriously they'll be fine! Totally!

Then Raph shields Leo from the Krang and sends him away.

And it's as if Karai's death stared right in his eyes.

So Leo picks up the slack of leadership in order to save Raph. He behaves carelessly during this time but can you really blame him, he desperately wants to save his brother, to stop yet another family member from death that he is so scared of.

He still tries to be positive and nonchalant, that "pfff obvioulsy everything will turn out alright!" but at the end of the day, it's not that simple.

Casey's speech had hard time to really hit Leo, he's still avoiding confronting resposibility, literally and metaphorically turning away from it. But the moment Casey says Leo's whole family died?

Now that made an impact.

And every time his family is in terrible danger he looks absolutely terrified and basically every time Leo has to be dragged away to not just return and try to save them again.

And when there's nobody to drag him away?

First thing he does is sacrifice himself. Because I don't think Leo is scared of his own death, or at least he is not as scared of him dying as his family. He'd rather give away his life than live through another grief.

Obviously I'm not sayin that the rest of the fam isn't terrified of close ones dying. But while they seem less aware (Mikey) and/or more ready for the possibility (Raph)...

Leo's wholly aware but he'd rather not be and ignore his fears until he can't anymore.

[ritz-writes]

@asleepyy so sorry for tagging u twice in one day and i hope im not bothering u with my brain rot 😅

but yes, i did actually dissect the lyrics. yes, i am actually insane. and yes, i love this au quite a lot.

here are my notes and what i think each song represents, tho its mainly just the vibes i get. i made notes as i listened to them (note: i see songs almost always in animatic form. idk if that will effect how i imagine what each song means, but i thought it might be worth mentioning)

join me as i lose my mind over the course of an hour and a half

say what you think: def making me think of them both in heaven and jophiel wanting to ask questions.

running up that hill: AHH this one hurt. very obvious as well. jophiel seeing that azazel shouldnt be a demon. "And if I only could I'd make a deal with God, and I'd get Him to swap our places." i am sobbingggg

what difference does it make?: at first i was going to say its jophiel wanting to figure out what went wrong but azazel makes them promise not to, but i think its better suited for azazel understanding hes a demon, but he cant help but still have faith in the almighty

please please please let me get what i want: fuckkk is this about azazel being a demon but still wanting to do good 😭 short but still painful

ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've): my first reaction to the title alone was like the second image of the kambucha girl meme. anyway i think this one is about them becoming friends (or more?? 👀) but knowing its seen as wrong. "And if I start a commotion, I run the risk of losing you and that's worse" makes me also think of jophiel talking to the metatron and realizing he shouldnt ask about azazel lest he risk the poor thing being smited.

nothing critical: ohhhh this one gives hella vibes of jophiel not trusting heaven and knowing "something isnt right here" in regards to the fall-- HOLD UP "I know, someone had to go, If not him it'd be me instead" HELLO??? aziraphale asking for jophiel??? is this like after he finds out what azazels name used to be??

flowers never bend with the rainfall: hmm... i feel like this is a plot point song. not sure why. but "And I hide behind the shield of my illusion" makes me think it pertains to azazel

bird in space: oh this ones a bit tricky. i think ive reached the songs that no longer fit the lore we've been given thus far. so the only thing i can think rn is jophiel enjoying earthly pleasures? not rlly sure

angel, won't you call me?: oh fuckkk is this about a fight they have? "I fled at the face of my rival. When I felt his breath at the back of my neck. Angel, won't you call?" theres no way that isnt about azazel saying smth and then leaving, only to be scared he severed his tie to the only person thats been nice to him.

the stranger: first of this is a bop and im loving it. very groovy. the first thing that comes to mind is the "choose your faces wisely" prophecy. ooo is this about jophiel trying to convince azazel hes still meant to be an angel? that he wasnt meant to fall? also, the last verse is sticking out to me... not sure why

all i think about now: fuckkkkk this is giving me the vibes of jophiel finding out azazel Fell cuz of him and feeling guilty about it. "If I'm late, can I thank you now?" FUCKING OW?? oh yeah for sure this is about jophiel finding out and being sucker punched with guilt

ill be your mirror: oh goddd this song. i know crowley listens to this song but i cant remember what its about so lets see. AH SHIT YEAH THATS RIGHT. okay so jophiel reminds azazel that he is inherently good, regardless of if hes a demon. thats what im getting from this (also just tihnking of that ask i sent about the reflective sunglasses bthwjegkrw)

me and my husband: okay all im getting from this is "they r down bad". they r very very very much in love. getting vibes of this being after they stop the apocolypse. or maybe their feelings developing thru the centuries

time in a bottle: oh man this song always gets me. okay so, this and the last song r giving the oh-shit-i-might-be-in-love vibes. but this one is with jophiel's pov, while me and my husband is azazel's

ritz note: the last couple songs have been cute and lovey and i am now terrified of what the next ones r gonna be. cuz i know this fandom. and i am not ready for the pain. i am afraidddd

lonesome town: i fucking called it i knew the happy wouldnt last 😭😭 they had a fight didnt they. yeahhh they had a fight. FUCK why is this so sad but so pretty

across the universe: is this one sad too??? hang on theres a bit thats not in english, what does that mean... "Hail to the Heavenly Teacher." okay so i assume this is an azazel song. this is just making me think of the bookshop fire, but its azazel thinking jophiel died 😭 ....i am staring at the lyircs. i am glaring at the lyrics. this song MEANS something. i just dont know what. but its important. im squinting at it very hard (note: i came back to this song and am STILL glaring at it. its like. its like im seeing it covered in sand but i know theres gold underneath. i cant SEE the gold, but i know its there. this is driving me nuts /pos)

no wonder i: hm.. im not rlly sure with this one. OH?? is this azazel finding out heaven isnt that good?? "Suddenly I'm not so sure. That intentions can be pure." hmmmmmmm

what do they know?: holy shit okay this is a completely different kind of song than the others. im.... glaring at these lyrics too. feels like a plot point but cant tell what it is. i think its about jophiel? maybe heaven too?? idk im grasping at straws with this one

sea of love: oh yay a happy song again 😌 okay this is just short and sweet. gives me forgiveness and/or confession vibes.

who are you, really?: this one sounds important and i am glaring!! makes me think of "we dont need heaven we dont need hell" and also "a demon/angel that goes along with hell/heaven as far as he can". also just makes me think of jophiel speaking.

the moon will sing: i fucking love this song but i dont think ive ever looked at the lyrics so lets goooo. right away i see "I could have been anyone, anyone else. Before you made the choice for me" and think of aziraphale asking and falling for jophiel, and in a way making the choice of jophiel staying an angel. "Instead, I made a bed with apathy" jophiel trying not to care about a random demon. "I shine only with the light you gave me" jophiel giving azazel ideas on how to do "good" while being "bad". also with that line, thinking of azazel saying that to god and being sad about having fallen AUGHH i have a whole animatic in my head with this song and im losing my mind

matephor: hnnnn another important sounding song. jophiel vibes. fight song perhaps?? "Don't look too hard 'cause you won't like the scars he left in me" azazel vibes??? this one is elusive to me but i love it. okay im slowly getting more azazel vibes. like azazel trying to convince jophiel that he is a demon and fell for a reason

providence: right away getting "heaven and hell r bad" vibes. OHH okay okay this is giving me hella jophiel vibes, but specificly snarky and sassy jophiel vibes. of being like "oh yes heaven is oh so great, we kill children! but its for the greater good, of course. gotta beat hell and all that, even at the cost of innocents. all for the almighty and her ineffable plan." (this song is a bop omg)

earth angel: oh i know this one but only with crowley and aziraphale, so im excited to listen to it with an oopsie omens mind set. omg wait why does it hit HARDER. love sick azazel is such a cute image 🥺🥰

what more can i do: hmm.. them being in love but knowing its "forbidden"? cant tell who i imagine with it more

starman: this is just them. classic good omens song, regardless of the au. love to see it 💖

a pearl: AH FUCK ANOTHER SAD ONE. mitski whyy. hm.. azazel song? jophiel?? i think jophiel... tho my mind might be turning to mush at this point so im not sure. one of them is sad

duvet: oh def azazel vibes. oh maybe some jophiel vibes too?? i can see it swaping povs. i think it fits azazel more tho.

ritz note: OKAY the next song is in a different language and for a split second i legit thought i was having a stroke when i pulled up the lyrics ngl bgkewrrkjq

différent de toi: no idea what this song is about but its pretty 😊

oh thats all of them! i think the first half is more coherent observations, while the second half is just... rambling a bit lmao. idk if any of this makes sense. i might also be looking for things that arent there with these songs, but oh well. this was fun!

and now, after looking back at them all, i really does just slowly derail near the end lmao

[akgaereporter]

nct: sunflowers attacking dream over recent haechan live ☠

tldr: during haechan’s recent welive he said he permed his hair & dream "thought something was wrong" with it so he got it straightened again. some sfs/hc solos started losing their damn minds over that🤕 he also talked a lot abt music he wants to release and highkey called sm out, and all of this got the sunflower girlies real mad i guess..

so earlier haechan went live on weverse and was talking about dream's reaction to him perming his hair:

some sfs went kinda insane over this☠

like woah..? how did we go from 1 to 100☠ i cant even tell whos a solo, a unitzen, or a dream anti thats how bad it is..

and when dreamzens started ratioing these folk, this person said its hypocritical for them to say psychoanalyzing is weird when drmzens did the same to 127 with their constant coworker allegations

idk what they were tryna say here like okay..?? then yall both freaks☠

☆ my opinion

icl and say i’ve been keeping up w this 284828483 year old unitzen drama but i do remember the coworker allegations the last person was talking about, it got really bad at one point, however that doesnt excuse the INSANITY that is going on here. inserting urself into this big ole grown man’s relationships and acting like hes some kind of poor bullied people pleaser who can’t make any choices for himself is so crazy PLEASE wake up. if any of yall lewsers read past the first line of those translations youd see he agreed and said he also didn’t like the way the perm came out (bc the back was all curly and his bangs weren’t)☠️ imagine getting ur hair done and looking crazy, so u listen to ur homeboys and get it fixed but ur deranged 70 hour sceentime having ass fans start acting like they punched u unconscious, strapped u to a chair and straightened it themselves.. id smoke a pack the size of both koreas too if my stans were so insufferable like dont embarass me.. all y’all doing is exposing u have absolutely zero friends bc ive never seen a more normal interaction between groupmates☠️

but all this lowkey feels like a reaction to some of the things hc said concerning music/solo scheds during the live. its obvious that sm is in fact sabotaging him bc ur telling me 8 years in, as one of nct's strongest vocalists and a popular member, he hasn't released any proper solo music despite wanting to..??? and is still getting micromanaged this far into his career? if 2+2 is 4 um...

like i thought after a certain amount of time idols start having more of their own creative/appearance direction like with bts, seventeen etc. i guess it might be bc those groups make a lot self written music but still..? doesnt hyuck write music too? to have a star on ur hands like this and fumble is so crazy to me, theres no other explanation than they want him to stay local and not get too big for the brand since hes one of the centers in nct.

but girl bye.. if they let his fame grow, all they'd have to do is treat him properly and he wouldn't want to leave they wack ass company. they just dont want him to have a choice☠ now they got him on lock bc they dont know how to act right. im not condoning anything but i really do understand why so many haechan/nct solos in general exist.. it all starts & ends with sm's fuckassery cause if my biases got steady treated like garbage id get hostile towards ANYONE in and out of the group too like..

anyways had to wake this tea up🤕 haechan deserves better everything i fear. better company, better fans, but NOT a better group. he loves those boys down and all of them are highkey in the same boat but saying that on unitzentwt will get you SHOT. stay strapped in these streets..

[c l o s e t a b ?] ◀ ⇨ akgaepop.com

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi! its incredible/intrusive tjoughts anon. honestly its nothing serious i just want advice lol.

so basically i identify as pan(tomantic) and non binary (transmasc).

basically i have this cousin who im REALLY close eith since shes the only family close to my age (we have a year differencs)

basically i do live in a very homophobic place, as i think ive said before but i think that she might be queer (bi specifically)

and here are my proofs:

1) the subtle one being, when its just the both if us watching something all she points out is how beautiful/amazing/gorgeous wtc the women look. nothing abt the guys. (not that im complaining cz women serious do slay)

i know that she also likes men because i remember watching this scene with her and one other cousin where the guy (wesrung a ehite) shirt fell into the water and was coming out (of the water).

me, personally, i was disgusted and i thiught my cousins would share the same opinions. nope. they rewatched the scene twice i think, their eyes were glued onto the screen ans they were both red.

2) the second one being, as ive mentioned before, i am a religious person qnd so is she. but we have this tradition where we go onto the roof and just talk about stuff we normally would never talk about. we basically kid of vent to each other too.

and there we've talked alot about queer people, and being a religious queer person and its clear that our views on the topic are very similar.

(i never bring up queer people bcz im scared of giving myself up, and usually people do not go around asking others abt their opinion on them. and yeah i feel like she was relieved when i explaijed that the last thing i wanted was for them to die)

niw into the veey obvious tells:

3) my cousin and i were bored so i took out markers and we decided to draw on my leg (dont ask me how we decided that that was the best thing to do.) but basically out if everything she couldve drawn, she drew the rainbkw but as a bi flag.

i saw it and when i pointed it out, she kind of looked panicked? so i just left it.

4) this one is like glaringly obvious tell. basically obv everyone knows, the tt algorithm works overtime and honestly i rarely get anything im not interested in.

so me, obv i have short hair, and when im sleeping/when im alone with other women you could easily tell that wtv is happening is not straight cis shit.

but basically i was changing so i just shed off my outer layer, underneath i was wearing this like sleeveless sweater and i had tracksuit bottoms underneath. my hair was oulled back in a half bun.

tell me why she says oh you look like thise masc lesbians in my tiktok fyp.

like FIRSTLY what are the masc lesbians doing on ur feed?? how have you watched them eniugh to know the specific terms??

basically idk if im maybe reading inti this but sometimes i genuinely feel like im going mad and i want to kind of come out ti someone irl cz i litr need someoen to see me, and recognize my efforts.

so. i just need advice, cz she knows quite alit if the terms as well, and ive noticed that homophobic people usually do not. (e.g. my brother does not know anthign other than gay and lesbian and queer cz he likes to throw them out as insukts)

but she does know, not all, but quite a few. (i only know nearky all cz for a while my obsession, idk what people call thus but basically i become obsessed with a tooic, research alot about it and then just leave it?. was like all the different types of labels and which umbrellas they fall under. so ive done alot of research on this matter which actually freaks alot of people out)

ive just realised i actually ramble alot so thankyou for making it this far lol

(also i just got hiccups wriitng this and theyre OISSING ME KFF)

Hi!

I feel like it's a pretty good assumption that your cousin is open-minded. I think it might be a good idea, next time you guys are having a rooftop conversation, to bring up queer people you know. Celebrities, mutual friends, etc. Ask her how she feels about those people. If she's cool with it, that's a good signal that you can come out.

Also think about- if you've told her other secrets, has she told other people? If not, then you can trust her with something like this.

As far as your cousin's sexuality- I'm not sure if you're reading into it. But remember, even if you come out to her, she might not return the gesture even if she IS queer. She might not be ready, and that's okay! Just continue to be a safe space for her no matter who she likes.

[mikeyelistsukasa]

How about a idol/famous? (Idk) au where Mitsuba, Kou, and Teru who loves to spoil their shy s/o to death, but they have a hard time smiling due to their past? And they will try anything to make their s/o smile no matter what, so they went to this random event where they finally smiled for the first time (hopefully this made sense 🥲)

(ALSO I LOVED THE DRAWINGS YOU MADE 🥺💖)

I can’t believe i needed a month for it. Mitsuba’s is so short because i lost the files for him 6TIMES i struggled w the request so i had to change it a bit so sorry abt that.not proofread

How the hell did u two end up together ??????

Srsly HOW

Ohhhhh you were sakura’s/tsukasa’s/kou’s friend how classssiccc🙄

Anyway-

Since we talk about Mitsuba it’s obvious that he would first say some nasty remarks every time he saw you sad

But that didn’t help(well obviously what did you expect)

Thats why he tried ACTUALLY offered to listen to your struggles

Wdym u don’t need noone to talk??? Then stop being sad>:(

Buying your favourites also didn’t help you awe :(

So he decided to do something he thought he would never do

Bring you to his favourite secret place

„Can i finally open my eyes?“

You say in a exhausting voice

„Not yet so stop nagging“

You mentally rolled your eyes

„Alright we are here“

„Finally! It’s about….time“

„I introduce you! My hiding spot✨“

„Mitsuba…this…this is amazing!“

„Ofc its amazing! My taste in places was always…beautiful…“

His mind was empty when he saw your face.your smile.

It was so beautiful!

„Thank you mitsuba! You’re the best“

After you gave him a small kiss on the cheek he promised himself one thing

He’d promise to make you smile like that more often

Now you two together make more sense 🤝

He also found out about by someone else (aka yashiro or teru)

This poor boy was kind of nervous approaching you

You thought he was nervous to talk to you because he found out who you are but-

That wasn’t the case

Like AT ALL

its just that he is sorta shy around new people(mostly girls)

And you kind of looked sad so he thought maybe it was a bad timing to approach you

You were relieved that it wasn’t the first thing you thought

As you two started talking more and more you two developed feelings for eachother

You liked how kou gave his best to make you smile

You two enjoyed baking together

But one day

You felt comfortable enough around him to reveal yourself as an idol/singer

The exorcist was too stunned to speak

This dude started treating you like you’re a queen and he went back to his shy self

Like a celebrity? Hanging out with HIM?

„Im probably dreaming“

*pinch*

…

He wasn’t dreaming at all

His crush a celebrity wow

Lord have mercy when you two started dating

Him being a bit insecure always thought that you don’t like being with him

Thats why he was bringing you lots of gift in some hopes

„S/o-san/kun! I baked you these heart shaped mini cakes! Please take them!!!“

„Oh thank you kou you didn’t had to…“

T-T mission failed you didn’t smile

More like the opposite you looked even more depressed

Its not that you didn’t like the gift its just it feels as if he made you these just because of who you are

God were you wrong

He came home disappointed when suddenly his brother teru popped up

„Yo kou. Look ive got 2 tickets from a secret admirer at school. Probably another fan.I don’t feel like going so i thought maybe you might want them?“

💡💡💡

„YES PLEASE GIVE ME“

„Haha calm down here“

It was 2 tickets for a… carnival?

Nonetheless he thought it was worth a shot

He looked at the data of the tickets and asked you if you could come to *address* at *idk insert some time*

You messaged back with a yes since you got curious on why he wants to see you so badly.

You dressed up not too fancy and went on your way

„Hey! So where are we going?“

„TO Aaaaaaa CARNIVAL!“

„Carn-? Woah hey no need to pull im coming im coming“

You two only took one step into the carnival and your eyes were already glowing from excitement

„Woah…“

„Follow me!“

Lets just say you had lots of fun on all those rides

Kou even won you a huge white rabbit! How adorable

Before you guys went home you two decided to go on the ferry wheel

When you two got on top of it you were able to see everything from up there.

Thats when you smile.

„Look! It’s that trashy ride that made me throw up hahahah…“

It felt like the whole time froze when he saw your smile

I mean you were so happy what else could you want more other than being on a top of a ferry wheel with your beloved one and a huge stuffed animal.

You looked into kou‘s direction

„thank you kou. I owe you one“

That smile was weak but it was a genuine soft smile

„I-uh uhm well no wait- it’s alright no problem hah-„

He will definitely cook teru his favourite meal after this ends

You two met at cooking class(let’s pretend tbhk has this)

„S/o L/n and teru minamoto“

Suddenly you felt like everyone was staring at you

Which they were

„Hey! Im teru nice to meet you. Im gonna be your partner for today. Im bad at cooking though so i will just try to assist you“

„I- uhm no Worries“

He cant be THAT bad at cooking right?

„WHY IS THE OVEN TURNED ON SUCH A HIGH DEGREE IT BURNED THE BUNS“

„Ah sorry my bad haha“

„why you little-„

*death stares around the room*

„Hah its alright we can make new ones“

It was fun to hangout with you so he decided to secretly keep having contact with you

*cough cough cuz of fans cough*

As much as he enjoyed your company he noticed that he never saw you genuinely smile.

He did question at least once

„Hey um are you alright?“

If you won’t tell him he would be concerned on what is going on but won’t push you into telling him

He is honestly the only one that won’t put lots of effort into making you smile

Buuut he will try eventually

But to no luck just like the other two

But one day one of his fans gave him 2 tickets to a show to look at the dolphins. As a thank you for helping them yesterday

The two tickets were meant for him and his brother kou and well

The thing is kou has detention

„i warned him. You will get caught in the girls bathroom eventually“

He laughed to himself remembering the scene

Thats when it hit him that he could invite you

You ofc not having anything to do exept be prepared for the next concert agreed

You didn’t know the tickets were given to him

So you eventually took your seats and waited for the show to start.

It was fun. But not fun enough to make you smile

He already lost all his hopes while standing in a line with you to pet the dolphins

Thats when a miracle happened

You smiled to yourself when the dolphin made a sound from your touch

„Do you think he likes it teru?“

„Hm? Oh yeah i gue𝚜𝚜...’’

Woah

So is that how you like when you smile?

Ngl this made the boy blush a little

Its like he fell for you again.

He sat down next to you to pet the dolphin with you.

“You know…”

“?”

“You should smile more often.it looks good on you sweetheart”

0///0

Thank you for your request sorry it took so long🥲 have a nice day and visit again!

[cestacruz]

I want to learn more about the master Artoria Au

🥹❤️❤️ueueueu

It's quite more extensive than Just the Holy Grail War

The lineup until now is

Saber: Musashi and Iori Miyamoto (Master(s) in the works)

Archer: James Moriarty (Master is Cassidy, i already posted something bout her)

Lancer: (Might be) Qin Liangyu (master in the works)

Rider: Ludwig van Beethoven (I already have her master but i refuse to post about them for now. I need dignity. I'll say two words to describe them tho: Hatsune Miku)

Caster: Zeno of Elea (no master yet)

Assassin: Hassan of the Shining Star (no master yet either) (also funnily enough, ive had Shining Star in this AU since two years ago, so imagine my surprise when he got released LMAO)

And well, Berserker: Queen Guinevere (and yknow, master Arturia)

It's sorta a modern AU but not at the same time, i'll put a cut here because its long and i ramble

It's not a Forced project to bring Arthur back like with Gray but the alternate name i use for this AU in my notes is "The Once and Future King" so...

History repeating itself sorta thing but without the doomed narrative (unless.) (Haha just kidding...) (...unle--)

The "pendragon|orkney" family does exist (as in mom(igraine)(she's alive), dad(uther)(he left them), morgan and lot, and nephews and nieces (morgan lost a bet to 5 year old arturia and had to name her kids after the knights) and more arthuriana characters are scattered around too, but they dont have an importance to the HGW part of the AU, with the exception of a few

They still call her Arturia (TECHNICALLY they call her Arthuria, because i love that name and no one will take it from me) because the few years that Uther was with them, he called Arturia "Arthur" because he wanted a boy and he couldnt cope (theres the History repeats itself motif and also misogynistic men like that still exist), so Morgan used Arthur*ia* as a nickname, and it stuck

This is where i will confess that im thinking of using a different name for Arturia, i already Kinda do in my notes. As in legal name (thinking of Aurlyn, which is similar but different enough). I would be doing the same with some of the Orkney siblings whose names would not be as common in the modern world or too obvious a reference, while still being named after the knights (Gareth would stay as Gareth cuz thats literally still a mormal name people use, but a name like Agravain or Mordred arent as common, ig. Or Gawain. And Gaheris. Actually only Gareth has a mormal fcking name)

ALSO mordred is Morgan and Lot's kid in this. No weird cloning in my modern AU. Genetics from the pendragon hit hard tho, they still look like Arturia

Actually idk what else to say rn, theres some more stuff but its escaping my mind, so little random stuff

Arturia's family has little to no mage relation currently, but they still have mage blood and sht

Also Merlin manipulated Morgan(modern) using her literal dreams, into freeing him from Avalon and he used to that hang out with little kid Arturia at the park (everyone hates him/chases him away)

The reason why Cath Palug is there is because this AU follows the F/SN timeline, which is a timeline in which Chaldeas never formed. Therefore, Fou never learned to love people, teehee. He only learned to hate Merlin and King Arthur (?)

Also theres a modern Guinevere, tho her name is literally just Gwen, and Arturia and her met during high school Time but they werent Actually classmates (think like, tournaments or trips to other school/places). I called her "arturia's high school crush" in the tags of a previous ask but they are still friends and talk a lot

And yeah , thank u and i am, Very happy that you asked bout it

[d34thbr34th]

Imo you are completely in the right taking about other nico ships cuz they are toxic and disgusting but it is hilarious you actually like weird abusive shit like solangelo 💀💀

ill start off by saying i dont necassarily need to explain myself to you, but ill take this as a chance to express how i feel about the ship.

i dont love solangelo. i dont hate it either. but you cant call it abusive. its not abusive.

im pretty neutral on solangelo, maybe some fanart i see is cute and ill reblog it, and i sometimes (barely) post hcs, but that doesnt mean im all for what goes on in the community. i know of the ableism that alot of solangelo truthers are desensitized to and promote without KNOWING it.

actually, for a long time i explicitly showed im against solangelo. ive actually once sat down and deleted all the solangelo content on my blog to PROVE IT. ive privated alot of the hcs i came up with as an 11 year old. you can LITERALLY go look in my tags, will solace is waaaaayyyy down. solangelo is practically nonexistent. IVE PUT EFFORT INTO SHOWING WHERE I STAND. seriously?

but now ive grown not to care. i dont hate it, i dont love it. its just eh. if i reblog something solangelo, okay. if i reblog something anti solangelo, okay. at the end of the day its my blog.

when i first entered the pjo fandom i was like.. what? 10 i think? and i found myself in nicos character. i related to him ALOT. i then found out about solangelo and thought it was the cutest shit ever. i reread every piece of media with them. i came up with headcanons. i had a whole ass phase where i was "in love" with will solace. now i realise that i found myself in nico, and seeing him in what seemed to be a happy relationship made me really really happy. now, ive grown. ive reread the series. i KNOW how solangelo is potrayed. sometimes i reblog anti solangelo takes that i agree with, other times solangelo content. its FINE.

now let me explain why i dont like jasico. jason is the first person that nico actually starts becoming friends with, and i find their friendship very sweet. when people tend to turn platonic dynamics into romantic ones it irks me alot. (my same issue with nipollo, even though thats already weird) nico should be able to have friends without constantly being shipped.

i dont like percico because of the obvious age gap, and the fact that nico developing a crush on percy was a major plot point to his arc. it makes his feelings complicated because nicos confused about how he feels about percy. he doesnt know whether to love or hate him, since, well, bianca's death.

i dont like solangelo either, because obviously, its disgusting the way will acts like hes nicos 'savior'. however, will's technically not really his healer. when it comes to mental health and such, will urges nico to talk to dionysos about it. sooooo... u cant really say they have the patient/healer trope, even though in fanon and fanfics it may seem that way

alot of other posts that I REBLOGGED explain this in further detail, if you want me to link some of them, ill go ahead and do that for you. but you shouldnt be asking me to justify why i reblog solangelo shit.

either way, ill redirect you to where user arabnico talks about it, here and here. i completely agree with her takes.

and anyway, the hcs i come up with use the basis of a pretty watered down version of solangelo. i dont keep in mind canon when i think of solangelo. i dont think anyone does, fairly enough. their og characters have been so lost and watered down. heck, i last reread hoo last year.

tldr; im neutral on the ship. jasico sucks because theyre bffs. percico sucks because pedophilia and a majority of nico's tragic arc was based off of liking percy.

i would like to add a final comment: ive previously stated that ALL nico ships suck, INCLUDING solangelo. so idk where this really came from but whatever. have a good day.

[sereniv]

so i was looking at some jewish zionist posts on threads (i wasnt sure if they were zionist at first)

and though there was a bunch of bullshit, i did realize something

1. Interact and read what the opposition say because not only do you get vital info on them (understanding your opposition), but you can sometimes learn something valuable. Yes from anyone.

2. Only do this if you are strong enough because anyone can fall into propaganda and bigoted views. Yes, anyone.

There are things ive learned from shitty people that i didnt expect to learn. That are seperate from their bigotry/opposition. And though theres a lot of overlap with their veiws and bigotry, and usually what they do and say should be viewed in the lense of their mindset- sometimes theres things you can find from someone who has had experiences different from you. Everyone is different, you can learn something from literally anyone even the worst person is going to know something you dont know.

That doesnt mean mingle or to be friends with the worst people! dont do that!

What i mean is anger is understandable in these types of situations, but try and switch to your love of the oppressed instead. Because your anger can look just like their anger. I dont know how to explain or what that means, but you navigate these huge issues better when you don't respond in anger. Trust me i respond in anger. But when i dont, i learn more. Theres better engagement, im more likely to change someones mind.

When i respond in anger, and i view everything in that anger, then idk someone explain what i mean lol. i have scenarios and feelings but i cant describe it. but i know ive seen someone explain it before. I dont mean 'love thy enemy' btw.

Just viewing and responding in an absence of anger is just better.

Anyway, in this case, it was people being antisimetic-

now at first, i was seeing people calling out zionism and zionists claiming it antisemitism. And though typically i pay attention when something is said to be antisimetic, when it comes to zionists who are claiming everything is antisimetic when it wasnt obvious (or at all), then i tend to fall into not actually considering and just assuming they are lying. Not just Jewish zionists, any zionist. For Jewish zionists, their Jewish experience was overides by the fact that they are zionist (which there is no way else to put that zionism means taking away from Palestinians. Bottom line it is wanting Palestinian land to be israel and there is no way to get that without how its going down now).

Just like how sometimes my anger for TERFs can overide my view of their experience as a woman. Which is another reason why viewing with anger isnt good. It can cloud your judgment and warp how you view things even if you are well meaning.

-and sometimes it was blatant antisemitism where anyone could spot it

but other times it seemed like legitimate call outs. and some were!

but something this zionist said made me pay attention to how people are being "discreetly" antisemitic which i think non jews/not yet jews might not notice

and that is calling out zionism when zionism isnt the topic or isnt referenced

This might seem obvious and some cases it is

but not always to non/not yet jews

Like someone had the Magen David necklace in a post asking where they could get it or whatever. literally nothing about israel nothing about palestine or zionism. Its literally just a necklace of the Star Of David

and there were people bringing up zionism and Palestine. and in this case simply bringing up zionism WAS antisimetic because its equating zionism with being Jewish

Seeing a Jew and instantly thinking zionism is antisimetic

Majority of zionists are not going to change. And when i say zionist i dont mean Jew. Bc im pretty sure Biden isnt Jewish lol

Just like any bigot, like any terf, you as an individual are not going to change their mind. You debating them does nothing but make you feel like youre doing something. But you arent. It does nothing to argue with full cast bigots.

What matters more right now than owning the zionists, is protecting Jewish people who have to see all this shit. And i shouldnt have to say, but also Palestinians who have to see it too. Two groups of people who already have to see just so much right now, they dont to see all the shitty things youre seeing too- as in what people think of them.

Jewish people shouldn't have to see someone equate the Magen David to a genocidal symbol because people dont care enough to look anything up.

So block zionists, but also look at what they are saying

do this with any opposition

Actually know what your opposition believes, but you might also just learn something that is seperate from their beliefs. Again this doesnt mean mingle bc you might lear something new. It just means use your head and dont block out everything that you dont agree with right away. Like theres nuance lol idk how to explain it well. But im definitely better for it

And above all think of how your words look to Jewish people rn. Ask yourself if your words are going to change the mind of the person you are talking to? Because if not just block them. I say 'if not' bc some people are actually wanting to learn.

Because of course this genocide is affecting Palestinians, but it is also affecting the Jewish population

People ARE being antisimetic. Not by calling out zionism, but by seeing a Jew or anything Jewish and instantly calling it zionism and therefor supportive of genocide.

So yeah fuck zionism, but im glad that i stayed looking or else i might not have realized that i wasnt recognizing "discreet" antisemitism. If i wasnt curious and wanted to see more of what zionists believe, i would not have grown to be a better person. I wouldnt have learned hands on more of what they believe and how i dont agree with it.

It is seriously so crucial to talk about the seperation of zionism and israel to Jewish people

They are not synonymous. Call out people who are being antisimetic when its obvious they are ignorant. Your comment will be seen by others and they will learn even if the person you messaged doesnt. But dont fight. Just educate. A fight is what i was talking about above on what you shouldnt do. Bc it gets you nowhere.

Be pro actively non antisimetic. Look stuff up. Ask questions.

And though Jewish zionists are zionists, they are also Jewish. Some of their claims to antisemitism might be bullshit but not all of it.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

hi. can i share something. its pretty personal...its sad but also a message of hope.

so. ive been freaking out rly bad about attending this bladee show tomorrow, august 6th. the real reason for this is not just my ocd and social anxiety but also.. last year on august 6th my really good friend died. they were going by the name saint at the time. i only knew them online but we were extremely close since around 2014. we would talk often, and in-depth, bcus we both had extensive interest in metaphysics, god, angels, etc. and we both had dead parents, specifically dead from illness, so we rly deeply related to each other on those matters. they were like 9 years older than me, so i looked up to them as an older sibling. it absolutely shattered my heart when i found out they died because i know it was an accident. i think they OD’d on fentanyl cus they had been posting about relapsing shortly b4 they died. but i dont know for sure, there’s no obituary for them since they don’t have parents or family. i have cried about it every day for a year.

when i saw what day the bladee show was, i felt a million feelings at once, like, oh my god, is this some kind of orchestrated angel event? saint had the most unwavering faith, they believed in angels more than anyone ive ever met, there was no doubt in their mind. we would talk about our synchronicities constantly. it was our fav thing to discuss. they were so validating of my experiences. so in a way, i rly feel like, their angel is escorting me to this show as some sort of gift for making it thru the past year. ive been going thru my saturn return on top of grieving their death, and idk, its just been one of the worst times in my life, ive never been closer to giving up. the timing of this show rly makes me feel like saint is blessing me. bladee, saint and I are all life path 9s who r obsessed w metaphysics n spirituality, which adds to the meaning of this synchronicity for me.

the reason ive been so terrified to attend the show is because i keep having ocd freakouts that someone is going to die or that, like, this date is evil and tainted or soemthing. like literally to the point that ive spent a few entire days this past week just crying in my bed because im so terrified of losing anyone else in my life. but as the show gets closer, i am realizing i just need to trust god and believe that im allowed to enjoy myself. believe that saint’s angel is protecting me and my loved ones, just like they have every day for the past year. they have sent me so many signs, and ive known a lot of dead people but never have i received so many obvious signs from anyone, even my own father. it makes me wonder if saint graduated the rebirth cycle, since they were a 9, and they brought so much goodness to this world. i think they graduated and are now a very powerful angel forever.

its been so hard to go on without them. they were my grief councellor fr. there were some years of my life where they were one of the only people i talked to because no one else could understand. they loved POSTING, we met on tumblr and they were always so supportive of the way i express myself. after they died was when i started drawing and posting on here again bcus i knew i had to honor them this way. i cant put into words how much their friendship impacted me and i wish i could do more, i wish i cld plaster their face onto every wall and scream from the rooftops “THATS MY FRIEND AND I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!”. god i am going to cry so much at the bladee show, i know they’ll b rite there on my shoulder the whole time.

if u read all this, thank you. it weighs on me massively n i try not to show it too much online but man. i have been a mess. n sometimes i just wanna spill my guts. i cld say so so much more about my dear friend but i’ll leave it at this for now. im praying that the show goes well tomorrow and everyone makes it there safely. if u guys cld pray for me too id rly appreciate. i rly feel like saint is with me and im allowed to have hope now. i love you saint. thankyou for posting so much so i have plenty to look back on. <3

[candiedapplez]

I ask you all of the questions from that one reblog. Good luck/nf/j

Omg ok this will be a while then tehehehehehehhe im not complaining though!!!! Heres the questions so u can look at the questions and the answers!

1.this one is OBVIOUS!!! A-90 and Opheebop!!! DUUUUUUUH!

2.lighter. Ive never used a match before

3.ew no!!! I don't want buggies crawling in my room while im sleeping!!!! However i have before!

4. Aaaaaa ive never really gotten into that stuff so i cant really give an answer-

5. A really dark brown!!

6. Oops i did that again???

7. Well idk ive used both and they are both work really well! however i do think scrunchies are safer for your hair, i use normal hair ties more often because scrunchies are more bulky and yeah i dont prefer that, but both are great!

8. Six. I have six.

9.NONE! COFFE IS GROSS BLEEEEEEGH!!

10. Ofc!!

11. Does drawing count?

12. Good day!!!!! I havent cried yet so-

13. Not too long ago, like an hour ago actually. I had pizza! (Incase u were wondering)

14. HELL YEAH!!!

15. Nope and i never want to be 😗

16. NoooooOoOoO-

17. Nope i have perfect vision muah

18. I DONT WANNA SAY TEHE! (Sry)

19. Yea ofc!!! But they probably wont turn out good…

20. Soda…. Ive never seen or heard anyone say pop before….

21. Plushies!!!! I have a unicorn plush my old friend (we dont talk anymore since she moved) gave me for my 7th bday!!!! Yes i remember when, yes i still have it! And its in perferct condition!!! Also there was this one kid who ig had a crush on my and he gave me a basket full of stuff for valentines day and i still have said basket-

22. I have no clue what this means? I guess sensitive?

23. Love it!!!!!

24. Eating :] (and joking abt pushing each other off probably/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE)

25. Aaaa i use all of them but i use lotion most so ig lotion?

26. Idk what to say for this one aaaaaagh

27. Like 5 i think? Ive been getting better with my sleep time!!!!

28. Not anymore, our school last year said we could take them off, however i was SO insecure about my face (still am, but not as much as before) so i would wear it every single day. If i showed up to school without one people got surprised. I stopped wearing them this year, however.

29. Hot????

30. THE FUCKING WATER BOTTLES!!!!

31. Theres a lot, i dont wanna get into it 😵‍💫

32…… is that a thing? People have favorite towels??

33. Hm my school took us on a field trip to a high school so we can see animals if that counts… (i have pictures btw if u wanna see them! We saw pigs, sheep, cows and bunny! I didnt take pic of bunny tho 😢)

34. LITERALLY EVERY SIX THE MUSICAL SONG HOLY SHIT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (the only ones i might mess up on are aywd and idnyl bc aywd is long and i dont listen to idnyl often)

35. Pst!!

36. Only once! My username used to have a 0 between the words (Candied0applez) but i changed it bc it made it sound like i candied no apples… but i was originally going to be called caramelapplez but i thought candied sounded better heheh)

37. The friend i mentioned earlier i met first day of kindergarden, her name is Alana, and this other girl Maya i met before kinder! We met eachother at a park and when we walked home we found out we were neighbors so we instantly became besties! (We still are to this day but she lives 30 mins away so i dont see her often-(

38. All…?

39. Sometimes!

40. Ice cream!!!

41. Empty. Coffee is gross

42. Hahahah yt, roblox and occasionally twitter!

43. HAND IT OVER BITCH!

44. Myself/j fucking donald trump 🤮👈🖕

45. NO ☺️

46. Oh god i dont watch any 🫢

47. | v

this actually was to the other girl i mentioned earlier! Maya! I found baby pictures of us when we were in 2nd-3rd grade and i showed her today!!!

48. Never and i dont plan on ever!

49. Never tried

50. GO AHEAD I GET SO EXCITED WHEN IM TAGGED IN SOMETHING AAAAA!

omg that took forever!!! Gosh i dont mind though!!! These were fun questions! Aaaaaaaa i enjoyed that tyty!

[off-the-heezys]

Got any favorite Camp Camp Ships?? :O How about a list of them?? What would be your favorite to least favorite? Any reasons why??

I’ll give you my top 4 and then we can talk about others

Jaspvid (Jasper x David) - MY NUMBER ONE. when i tell you this is my comfort ship, i mean i would literally die for these two. I LOVE THESE DORKS. ive cried over them an embarrassing amount of times and they are so. so. so perfect. the way i view them in my head. they are everything i want. it’s the slow, long pining. it’s the longing. the YEARNING. GOD. of course, it would never happen in canon, for obvious reasons, but they live rent free in my head with my 100000 of AUs where Jasper is alive and well

Kevdan (Dirty Kevin x Daniel) - they’re so awful and perfect together. random crackship that i care way too much about and will explain how their dynamic is epic to the depths of space i have a spotify playlist for these bitches Pikemax (Pikeman x Max) - I blame @gh0stbunnie for this one. would never work out in canon. i can’t see this in canon. but fanon/au? thats where its at babey. also just a way for me to project stuff thats happened to me in the past but pshhhhhhhhh also, this is something that is brought up a lot, but Pikeman is canonically like, 12. miles and jordan brought it on during some commentary on the blu ray. i bring it up because people tend to think pikeman is like, 15

David x Cute Waitress - idk if these two have a ship name but ill think of something later. but omg. these two r so cute in my head. a little sweet southern doll with a silly, awkward camp loving man. i know they make each other giggle all of the time i just. this one hits different.

now lets move on to other ships lol

im pretty open minded when it comes to ships (except for a few) so like, i’ll just give my opinion of ships

let’s get this out of the way, if you ship maxvid, camvid, or anything of that nature, uh, get the fuck off my page. block me, i don’t care. i hope you have a fucking terrible rest of your life

Gwenvid (Gwen x David) - to be perfectly honest? i can’t see this happening in canon. it’s cute though! I have a handful of gwenvid AUs that i love dearly. Gwen is just. so physically and verbally abusive to David canonically. im fine w it, it just urks me when people go around saying its canon, y’know? cute tho in fanon/aus!

Danvid (Daniel x David) - hot take this ship is awful. I barely see anyone portray it in a not sexual light. There’s a handful of people (my friends) who do this ship justice, but other than that, this just isn’t my cup of tea. i love me a good onesided danvid tho

Gwenjaspvid (Gwen x Jasper x David) - I have yet to see a way people have done this in a way I like. so for now I’m rather neutral about it

Sneil (Snake x Neil) - this ones real, you cant tell me they weren’t each others bi awakenings this ones SO REAL TO ME Maxneil (Max x Neil) - tbh? eh. I like to think Neil had like, a little puppy crush on Max, but it never became more than that. it’s a real popular one tho and i can see why

Makki (Max x Nikki) - they r like siblings to me so :( thats gunna be a no for me. if you like it tho, totally cool- i know Yssa likes it

Harrison x Nerris - again, these r like siblings to me so nah, but i get how some people might be into the enemy to lovers they might see in them. personally just no for me Masha (Max x Sasha) - yes. i can so see this. i love how @queeniecamps portrays these two, sasha and her little purse bf, so slay

Sasha x Pikeman - LOOKS AROUND. MOTIONS YOU CLOSER. WHISPERS IN UR EAR. i think about them sometimes. theres untapped potential here and no one talks about it

Presmax (Preston x Max) - I think about these two to “Popular” from Wicked, and it’s epic. and that is it. how did this ship get so popular back in like 2017. where did the spark come from

Tabrin (Tabii x Erin) - yes i participated in the ship week. yes I will again this year. yes, this is a very, very casual ship in my brain. i’ve got like zero aus for it. very very cute tho

Tabii x Neil - no. next one

Neil x Erin - in @dingdongsditch DJ AU, 100%. but also in canon they’d be. kinda cute. wahh.

SpaceMax (Space Kid x Max) - listen. not in canon. but. BUT.

Me x David x Cute Waitress - this ones canon guys idk what to tell you we’re all happily married

and that’s about like, all i can think of right now without getting into like rlly obscure ones if you think of any I didn’t put on this list, feel free to ask me about it

[khaleesiofalicante]

ive been relating timeline 2 max with the first half of "my boy" by billie and now a sassy song hurts 😃

i do have a question, if you don't mind explaining what must be obvious to you, but what's exactly holding mavid back now?

at first it was max not wanting to love david so he won't hurt later if/when he leaves, right? but he already admitted to himself he loves david and that he won't ever stop loving him, already pictured a whole future, there's no going back.

and he's not dumb to fool himself david wouldn't like him back. so if he's willing to give himself up for friendship with benefits knowing it would hurt to let go even now, why not go all the way if he knows he wants more?

unless he's trying to protect david from the media? but i had gotten the vibe max's trauma was more about "love not being enough will hurt me" and less about "my love will hurt him". on the contrair, he knows all the things he didn't say and the times he didn't stay hurt david. so like, why?

and yes i accept "he's malec's offspring did you really expect him to communicate his hard feelings?" as an answer but idk with you there always seems to be something more im not picking up

Not me writing this while listening to 'my boy' lmao.

for me (from max's perspective) the issue is quite simple. Max put it very succinctly at the beginning of the fic.

"I'm not scared of love, I'm scared of love."

I think Max's biggest fear - and what keeps him from reaching out and confessing to David - is his fear that David will leave him.

Max as we know has serious abandonment issues - which of course stem from his birth itself. It did not help that Magnus left him - twice. We know Alec is always there for him, but perhaps sometimes he perceives it as 'responsibility' than 'love'.

Max very much knows David loves him. As you say, only an idiot wouldn't see how much David loves him. But he is scared that he will chase David away by 'fucking up' as he had done in the past. He also feels that who he is "as a person" might eventually drive David away - because in his experience it is true.

He is distancing himself from david (in this way) based on a purely hypothetical possibility of David leaving him. (this is of course is also reinforced by David leaving for Cambridge)

But what Max fails to realize is that (in some situations with magnus) but mostly with David, his coping mechanism of distancing himself is actually pushing these people further away.

I hope this makes sense. we will definitely dive into a lot of these later on!

ps - I don't think his abandonment issues are doing much better with rafael fucking off :)

[sun-jelly]

idk how people arent seeing it. i thought the show was trying to make a very purposeful parallel between him and alicent - having to do it for duty......ive seen a lot of people tho interpret his reticence and silence as his own inner turmoil w/ his honor/oath and from what i gather from the actors this is how the showrunners meant for it to come across (dont how what the female director intended exactly) but if thats what they wanted, they did a bad job.

from the very beggining, i didn't see it like that, i was instantly uncomfortable. in the very best case scenario, he did what he wanted with a great amout of personal guilt and reticence, after wanting to get out of it, and he was absolutely used by nyra as a way to get off when she actually wanted her uncle (the way she startes over his sholder; this isnt about him or them) - something im sure he will be distressed to find out.

worst case and to me most clear scenario? he didnt kiss her back, tries to get her to stop, tells her to stop, she has to force him to even look into her eyes..... it is true that they had a lot of time, that he was smiling while taking his boots off, and there was a moment of passion when he first goes to kiss her.... apart from that? his energy is horribly off - and even a "deep down he wanted it" excuses nothing and just sounds like rape apologia when Most of It felt Very off.. shes giggling, he looks solem, almost pained, out of it, blank face, and like his head may be put on a spike (which it very well could)...... who is to say this man thought he had any choice at all to deny the princess?

what really sealed the deal for me was the next morning. he didnt want to look at her, meet her eyes, come near her... thats not just a man who is in personal conflict with his actions and regretful... it came across as much more than that, a much deeper hurt, a fear (tho he is also 100% scared of the consequences).

,,,, and apart from the parallel with Alicent, i thought it was also meant to say something abt her and daemon.. firstly, and in a quite fucked up way, their scene actually felt more like they were equals and both wanted it, especially as daemon realized hes not holding all the power and freaked out (obvs tho it can be said he groomed her before). but. in his fucked up way, he teaches her sexual liberation and freedom.... and it Shows that she had learned from him, from a man. She treats cole as men treat sex, and as daemon taught her - take what you want, dont think about the consequences, its for personal pleasure, dont mind the power imbalance.

Anon yes this is amazing. You pointed out things I wasn’t even thinking about! This is a great analysis. I watch the episodes every week with my friends and when this scene started we were all like ohhhh she’s gonna do it with the hot guard and then it turned into oh no she’s gonna do it with the hot guard. And it’s so obvious he is only doing it out of a sense of duty. He even said in the previous episode that everything he is now he owes to her so he doesn’t want to deny her anything which is not him consenting!!! It’s him being forced into sex through guilt, a sense of debt to her, and fear of what might happen if he denies her!

Anon let’s be friends

[ryuusjacket]

man there's still so much stuff i don't know or understand about bsd fandom's politics and discourse and whatnot. like ive kinda picked up on some things and i sometimes think i might come to some conclusions myself from my own critical analysis of the series..... but again like. im dumb as a rock and my brain cells are super dead so there's a lot of common sense kinda stuff out there that i just never pick up on by myself. also ive basically forgotten all of bsd canon anyway bc i haven't touched the literal show/manga in fucking ages lmao. also bsd is just all-around fucked up so like basically every character, ship, and any other aspect is problematic in some shape or form.... but idk i guess im just not exact confident in my knowledge of what kinds of things cross That Line of what's morally acceptable to like as a fan. i want to know so i can be careful of what kinds of content i interact with.

for example... i Really want to know Why some ships are considered bad (like on their DNI list bad) by a large portion of the fandom. cause like obvsly there are definitely bad ones out there that Are obvious to pick up on, but like... i guess one of the ships that confuses me the most is oda/dazai? like that ship is condemned by A LOT of ppl in the fandom but... tbh i’m not rlly certain why? idk maybe it’s something completely obvious like maybe i forgot what dazai’s age was during the dark era (i coulda swore he was like at least 18?)... cause like okay i Get it if he was actually a minor when oda died cause like... oda was around 24ish i think? early to mid 20s, i know that much. but anyway, other than the potentially harmful age difference (this is literally just me being too lazy to go look up their ages in the timeline, but in the case that it is a minor/adult situation, then yes i understand and wholly agree with its condemnation and i would immediately ban even the Idea of them being a ship from my mind) but other than that, i don’t think there was anything else that immediately stands out about their canon relationship that was problematic? BUT AGAIN my memory is complete shit and i only watched season 2 ONE time so lmao. don’t take anything i say as being accurate.

anyway i forgot what other questions i had.... if i remember them i’ll try to put em down here so i can come back to it or think about it more or discuss it with anyone who wants to talk about it.

[chanyoungies]

mimimimi … D + Q (for ur vity line???) + W ???? 💖

ERIIIIIIIIII smooch for u thank u

d: your favorite dance?

astro again comes to mind... idk if that's my actual final real answer but that's always the first choreo that comes to my mind i'll update u if i find another choreo that i decide i like much more

q: a quality your bias shows that you absolutely love? (vity edition)

well this is an obvious one and even more for u since u get to hear me mention this seven times a day but wonjin is a born entertainer and i Live for that...wonjin employment when he's so good... mc ham u are my everything... the energy the humour the right amount of sass or sarcasm the camera presence ... he has it all when is someone going to cast him in some variety... (and a drama actor wanji return when ... but that's another topic for another day)

ruby is well. well u know this this is going to be obvious for u again once again bc i dont shut up but he's the perfect man all around a caretaker to a degree and as u urself noticed. i tend to like that,, although i feel like out of all the caretakers i bias he might be one of the more lowkey ones?

wouldn't say it's my fave thing about him but i like that despite being the leader and a wolf n tied oldest n built like that serim still manages to like. not be the scariest man alive (quite the opposite actually as long as hes not chasing ppl around yknow) like...i was gonna say he has those moments where he just acts...maybe not like a Child but like u know what i mean...but i feel like its not Moments that he has it's more of a constant rllysbfksd but like he's like affectionate n playful and like annoying nd attention seeking in the best way possible?? idk if im making myself clear at all rn but like . gestures . he's cute is what i'm saying i'm not gonna go on longer about this uve heard enough

nd finally jungmo uhhhhhhh for some reason this is like . really hard like . idk if this counts under this question at all but like . overall he's just a born idol i think? like to a degree this is true of a lot of vity members but smth about jungmo just screams this man just Had to debut u know? i wouldnt say hes the Most outstanding performer or the most outstanding dancer or the most outstanding vocalist in vity (which is not bc i have smth against him at all obv it's just . u know? also it doesnt mean he isnt An Outstanding performer bc he is but like . i mean . I MEAN U GET IT DONT U ERI im sure u get it) but despite that he's like . like he stands on stage or even just in front of the camera and he just has this aura u know like . ???? like u know ??? . what am i saying i dont know i hope u got what i was trying to convey bc i cant do better

w: something you wonder about?

ok so like i guess it's not rlly my business at all but like ive been thinking... u know groups with a very specific dedicated concept like. u know. elast kingdom mayb pixy come to mind... dreamcatcher too but (ull see when i actually say what i wanna say this will b relevant) i think their sound is catchier/easier to like...get popular compared to the other ones i mentioned idk BUT SO u know i dont like change and also it's just like ... a selfish mindset of like a casual fan ig bc it's not really affecting ME but like......do u think they regret having debuted with a set concept like that... bc like they likely had very little say in it and like it's . harder to get popular that way? so like....do u think they like.......wish they hadn't.......? yknow? am i making sense

[saudadite]

2, 4, 7, 12, and 15? :)

2) when was rhe last time you cried and why: i dont really cry that much it takes a lot for me to cry cry. last time i actually genuinely cried was probably may/juneish when i had a stress breakdown at work. otherwise last time i cried a little bit would be the past few weeks bc of this shitty manager or end of september bc of ex-friend stuff

4) do i smile at strangers yes usually but it depends on what mood im in. at work i usually do but also i always wear a mask at work so. ive gotten pretty good at smiling with my eyes tho i think hopefully. outside of work i usually just avoid eye contact with most people <3

7) would you ever cheat on someone. this question i feel like p much everyone would say no on unless its like a thing they find hot idk. but no, ive never cheated and i dont feel like i really ever will

12) 3 deal breakers in a relationship: one would probably be monitoring me. i have pretty rigid boundaries around my privacy and freedom due to past experiences and just growing up where i did so i detest feeling like im being surveilled or that someones keeping tabs on me. two would be idk. not showing interest in me in the sense of them mainly talking abt themself or not really regarding me as worthy of enough time/attention as they are. which is an obvious deal breaker i knowfjhg just i am a generally quiet person and a big listener but that can be easily taken as not having anything to say and it gets on my nerves. 3 i dont really know i guess not being a hater? you have to be on at least a similar level of ugly as me

15) my favourite memory i dont kn ow. probably something with one of my friends in the past couple years. 2020 onwards has been a lot of really shitty lows but also some high highs its been,, eventful. otherwise maybe some christmas from my childhood or getting high to the point it feels like my mind fractured into a thousand pieces. which sounds like kind of a sad thing to be my favourite but. oh wait i think ive got it either riding the afternoon bus home from uni in 2019 listening to music in the sun or napping on this big leather armchair in the sun in 2018 while studying for end of high school exams. yes both of those involve napping in the sun im a catboy at heart <3