#idk if it was a full blown attack but I was a b a l l o f a n x i e t y

[debbiechanclub]

I think life is catching up to me

[paradisepoisoned]

always so ready to scream about meronia... 5 random headcanons for them, i beg of you

OMG YES ok it was hard what five to pick and this is gonna be long winded but fuck it I'm excited lol also I apologize in advance if this is senseless rambling I am not a very articulate person 😅

1-so I have this headcanon that Near and Mello both each have like their own little spice of PTSD or something, and they are the only ones who can kinda talk each other down in a way. I always Imagined Mello being born in Croatia during the Yugoslav wars and just living through horrendous trauma (this could be a post in itself so I'm gonna refrain because I have so many thoughts on Mello pre-wammys house but ANYWAY) and I don't really think he ever had time to process it, like he was living in a war torn country, everything he once knew, his family, everything blown apart and all of sudden he's at a prestigious secret orphanage for geniuses in England. So he kinda just buried it and didnt look back and dedicated everything to making L proud hoping that would be enough to make it go away but obviously it's not and so sometimes when he hears firecrackers or a siren or even one of Matt's videogames it fucking SENDS him and one day Near catches Mello hyperventilating in the hallway and Near shows him a breathing technique and breathes with him till he stops and Mello fucking hates him cause it works and it's something he uses the rest of his life and he thinks of Near.  Near only knows the breathing technique cause he also gets panic attacks but what gets Near the most is the nightmares. The nightmares send him into thrashing fits but the worst is the sleep paralysis. It would happen one of the first few nights when they slept together and Mello would stroke his cheek or hold his hand and talk him through it or recite a passage from a book, anything to distract him. Near never says what the nightmares are about or what he sees during sleep paralysis and Mello never pushes it.They don't know what the other went through but there is a mutual unspoken understanding and I feel like that is the closest they ever get to affection 

2-I feel like this is a really unpopular headcanon and not really accurate but idc I think Near secretly resents L. Idk why but I just like this headcanon. I picture Near to be a bit of a bitter person and I think he blames Mello's hatred for him on L though he'd never admit it  and tbh I don't think Near had any desire to become L at all I think he was apathetic towards everything at first it wasn't until Mello came along that he started feeling alive. Near never cared about being L. He cared about the game he and Mello played. I also think mellos admiration of L would just solidify Near's disdain and I would imagine they've gotten into a fight or two about the integrity of L's character. 

3-I think both would deny it but they can make each other laugh. Like genuinely laugh. I think they would fight it but every once in a while like on a full moon or some shit Near would make a snarky comment at someone or Mello would make a face behind rogers back and before they could stop themselves it would come out. They are mortified at how the others laughter makes there heart skip a beat and neither would admit to this under torture.

4-I think Mello is one of the only people who knows Near is secretly a disturbed basket case and hear me out lol. Mello is probably the closest Near has ever gotten to someone and this is already turning into a thesis so I'm not gonna get into my headcanons for Near pre wammys but ya boy has ISSUES. Like one day Mello would catch Near doing something wild like trashing A's old room (idk I have a headcanon that A and B's room stayed like mausoleums at the orphanage and it was like a ghost story) and Mello would get the blame for it cause who would fucking believe him if he said Near did it. So he gets grounded for a week and Near slips him chocolate under the door as a silent apology. 

5-Linda and Roger put together a funeral for Mello and Matt. Near did not attend. 

 I'm sorry this turned into a Ted Talk without almost any punctuation, but it feels good to scream about these two thank you loll

[blackout-criminal13]

BIPOLAR (IAN)

@he4rt-c4 ask and you shall receive!

Name: use whatever you want idc i'm going with Holly

__________________________________________

I woke up early in the morning around 5am, it was freezing, the heat at the gallagher had gotten shut off, i snuggled myself further into My boyfriend Ian. he jolted awake, gripping me tightly and getting out of bed, pulling me up with him.

"Ian what's wrong?"

i asked nervously because of the suddenly movement. Ian held me tighter and moved to the door, he pulled me out of the room with his arm still wrapped protectively around my chest holding me tightly against his chest. he moved down the stairs and grabbed the bat. he moved to the window, 

"No! No! No! They're Here!" He yelled,

Fiona and Lip ran down the stairs trying to calm Ian down, they could tell i was nervous.

"Ian. come on let Holly go." Lip said,

"No, the military, their here. their gonna take me.

their gonna take her too" Ian said holding onto me tighter.

"Ian no one is there, i promise." Fiona said.

suddenly the door knob rattled and mickey opened the door making his entrance. Ian held the bat up ready to hit him.

"Woah! What The Fuck Ian!?" Mickey yelled.

i stated to sob, sobs that were making my whole body shake. Mickey, Fiona and Lip all saw this, they could tell that i was really scared.

"Ian please, let Holly go." Fiona Approached us slowly.

"what's going on?" Mickey's Asked.

"i don't know he came down stairs i guess with holly holding her so tight she can't move, and he thinks the army is here to take both of them." Lip said

Mickey rolled his eyes, "Ian, Hey come on let Holly go." mickey said calmly.

Ian looked at him "No! they're not taking her from me!" ian yelled.

"Ian, she's scared. you need to let her go before she has a panic attack." mickey said.

i thought hearing about a panic attack would for sure make Ian let me go, but it didn't. Ian knew my anxiety can get bad and sadly he didn't even realize that this could make it worse. My knees were weakening as i started to sob more.

"Ian, She's terrified. you need to let her go before she has a full blown panic attack." Mickey said.

Fiona looked at Lip then at mickey, they grabbed his tranq and approached him calmly. they tried to put the pill in his mouth, but he would grip me even tighter.

"Ian come on it's just a vitamin, it won't do anything." Lip said.

Finally Ian had reluctantly taken it. his hands were starting to loosen around the flannel of his i was wearing. he started to move back a bit and mickey caught him moving him to the couch.

i sat on the floor scared, i didn't know where the came from. i was breathing heavily, hyperventilating. Mickey came back and crouched in front me, Fiona left to go sit with Liam and Ian, And Lip stayed behind Mickey.

"hey, hey. it's ok, it's ok baby." Mickey said hugging me. i hugged him as tight as i could.

"I-I-I w-was just l-l-laying in b-b-bed with h-him t-t-then he s-started t-t-to f-reak out." i said crying even harder into Mickey's chest. "i-i-its all m-my fault." i said.

Mickey pulled away and made me look in his eyes, "not it was not, don't blame yourself. i promise it's not your fault, he's ok, your ok, everyone's ok that's all that matters." Mickey said, i clung to

him again and he carried me up to mine and Ian's room, letting me sleep, knowing how badly i needed sleep after what happened.

__________________________________________

I hope you liked it!!

i think i should do a pt2.

idk. let me know!!

love you guys!

[frenchrebelfries]

Fury’s Daughter

AN: Idk wth I just wrote... I just got this idea so yeah... Happy Reading!

.

You are the adoptive daughter of Nick Fury, when you were 5 he adopt you when your parents died on a plane crash that was cause by Hydra, your parents and Nick were good friends that’s why he took you in.

You were a smart kid, always analyzing things, Fury told everything to you and never lie. To protect your identity Nick made you a new one as you volunteer to be an agent of Hydra to gain information and was branded by the organization. You did dangerous mission and always getting out alive.

You were then sent back to and joined the Avengers initiative but the avengers were suspicious of you as you came out of nowhere, no files, no nothing but a name and Fury’s trust.

No one knew who you are to protect your identity in recon so the avengers treated you coldly but you didn’t care, you didn’t tell it to your father about the situation you are in because you were train to adapt and you did. You were kind to them and all as you and Natasha got closer… like really close. Out of all Natasha Romanoff is the one you have trusted the most.

.

.

You got out from the elevator after a short report you did to Nick about the information you got for the Winter Soldier when you heard the laughing of the team as they sat in the living room with pizza on the table as they talked and laugh at each other.

The laughter halted when they all noticed you and silence came… you knew you were never welcome her but your father trust them so you really had no choice but to put up with it, sensing their discomfort you just gave them a nod greeting them.

“Good evening Avengers” no one answered as you expected and left and went to your room, you heard a light foot steps following you and a hand holding your wrist and seeing a familiar red head you have fallen with for the past few weeks.

“Hey Y/N, I’m sorry about the boys you know how hard headed they are” she sincerely apologized to you as you gave her a soft smile

“it’s ok Natasha, I know they still don’t fully trust me and I understand why, so it’s cool” you replied to her as she looked at you suspiciously searching your face for any lies but you being good at hiding your emotion she immediately gave up when she didn’t find one.

“So… Movie night?” she asked cheekily at you as your brows furrows

“what about the others?” you asked her as she started pulling you towards her room as she shrugged

“they can take care of themselves, come on!”

.

.

One day when you were alone practicing in the gym at 6 am of the morning you accidentally took off your clothes leaving you in your sports bra forgetting that Steve Rogers is always awake at that time and saw your Hydra mark on your chest and thought of you as an enemy and told the team as they planned to eliminate you on the next mission.

To eliminate the Hydra scum.

.

.

“can I get a hand over here?” you heard Clint said in the coms as you took down the last guy from your floor inside a hydra base that you’ve been recon last week

“I’m coming on your way” you answered running to Clint’s direction knowing the base like the palm of your hands as you shot a Hydra soldier who was sneaking behind him

“Thanks” you nodded at him you continue your pursuit taking down agents as you skillfully glide yourself on the battle field.

The battle had stop when Clint finished the last guy as Steve and Natasha immerge from the control room with a case on hand.

They must have gotten the information

“Mission complete, how’s the perimeter Tony?” Captain said on the coms as you get close to Natasha scanning her for any injuries and sighted in relieve when you found none.

“Perimeter is clear as the sky Steve were ready to go home” you smiled at the thought of home… Fury promised you a dinner with Maria and Coulson when you get back since things have been busy these couple of week and you were really excited about it since it’s going to be your first dinner with them again since you got back from recon.

“time for phase 2 then, Romanoff” you frowned at Steve’s word

Phase 2? You never heard about it when at the briefing

You were still in confusion when Steve called Natasha and you felt a searing pain by your side

You wiped your head to your side seeing a knife… a knife you gifted to Natasha lunge by your side.

You looked at her eyes full of betrayal and so as Clint and Steve who was in there with you.

“Phase 2 complete, were leaving, now die you Hydra scum” Steve said voice full of spite hearing a ‘good job’ from Tony and a ‘let’s go’ from Clint as you fall down on your knees looking at their retreating figure leaving you.

The last one you saw was the red headed assassin taking one last look at you as they close the door as your whole body fall down on the cold ground.

You shakily grabbed your phone dialing your father’s number as he answered rather cheerful

“Y/N why are you calling me? Is your mission done?” you heard your dad’s voice making you tear up a bit

“D-dad…”

“get your ass here kid Maria and Coulson just arrived here and im about to finish cooking these turkey”

“c-can I have a rain check on the dinner dad… I kinda messed up…” your voice was now shaking and you are feeling colder than usual the blade may have a poison as you felt a burn and getting light headed faster than normal.

Fury must have sense that there is something wrong by the way your voice sounded

“Y/N what happened? Are you ok?” you can hear his voice full of worry as you heard Maria and Coulson from the background asking what’s wrong.

“I-I think I was the p-phase 2 of S-Steve’s plan dad… it’s really g-getting cold here ya know” blood tricked on the ground from your wound

Your vision darken as flashes of memories filled your eyes.

You can hear the shuffles from the other line saying they are tracking my call and will be sending medical help

“I’m s-scared d-dad… I still d-don’t wanna go” you cried,

“Help is on the way Y/N keep holding on I’m here for you kid” you can hear the shakiness of your father’s voice, you kept trying to keep your eyes open and now seeing dark spots forming.

“T-thanks for everything dad… tell Maria and Coulson I love them…” your voice was barely audible hearing their cried for you to wake up.

“Keep your eyes open for me kid… please”

“I-I think a need a nap… l-love you dad” and you were gone.

They kept calling for you but you never answered back.

.

.

Fury along with Maria and Coulson with a medical team arrived at the base eyes redden because of crying as they found you on the cold ground with your phone by your side and a stab.

Fury cradle you like a baby as the medic announced your death with Maria and Coulson crying by the side.

.

.

“Did you check the monitors?” Fury’s cold voice echoed in a quinjet as your cold body layed beside him with your head on his lap stroking the hair that is covering your face.

“you’re not gonna like it boss…” Maria said with blood shot eyes as she played the video of Steve ordering the Phase 2 and Natasha Romanoff stabbing you as they left you.

“call them up at SHIELD… they would pay for what they did to her” Nick ordered as Coulson took his phone out to call them.

Nick glanced at you as he swiped some blood by your mouth hugging your corpse closer to him.

.

.

.

They avenger’s arrived at SHIELD seeing Fury holding Y/N’s hand as she lay dead on the table with Maria and Coulson by the back holding back their anger.

“what is this Fury?” Steve stepped out in confusion to why they got the body of Y/N

“What is the phase 2 Captain” Nick’s voice was colder than usual

“… to eliminate the Hydra-“ Steve answered as the other’s stayed silent

“and who is the Hydra?”

 “Y/n…”

 Then there’s silence, the team were uncomfortable with the silence but Steve was getting impatient with all of it.

“Look I don’t know what is your point here but you should thank us for killing the mole here Fury”

Fury looked at them as Coulson held Maria who was about to attack Steve as Fury spoke…

   “I see no dead mole here Rogers… all I see is my dead daughter”

  The team’s eyes widen as they froze from there spot

“W-what?” Bruce asked

“Y/N Fury... is my daughter who you called a Hydra scum”

“B-but she had the brand-“

“She had the brand because she was undercover inside Hydra that gave her the mark to extract information for your missions that is saving billions!” Fury angrily shouted making them all flinch.

All of it dawned to them as Natasha fall into her knees realizing she killed a hero… she killed her friend who trusted her… she killed the person who loved her…

“I pulled her out of the recon to keep her safe knowing her all her covers were blown, I put her into your team so she can be protected thinking after all those years of being away we can have a normal dinner like she wanted for years, I trusted my daughter in your hand yet you are the one who killed her…”

Fury stood up tears streaming down on his face

“Avenger Initiative’s termination is effective immediately, all of you would be put in maximum security prison for killing Y/N Fury” Agents entered taking their weapons and cuffing them

 “Nick… I’m sorry” Steve’s voice filled with regret rang out as Fury looked at him coldly throwing a file on the ground in front of him as the content spilled revealing pictures of the Winter Soldier.

 “Y/N wanted to give you this information from the last recon she was put in to, James “Bucky” Barnes is alive and now known as the Winter Soldier who is working for Hydra and has killed thousands”

Steve’s face was full of shock knowing his best friend Bucky is alive…

“Nick-“

“I’m sorry to cap…” Fury cut him off and coldly apologies to Steve who is now confuse to why as everyone in the room looked at them in silence.

 “you took someone dear away from me… and now I’m taking yours, Good Bye Avengers and thank you for your service” before Steve and others could react they were all tranquilized knocking them out cold and only waking up in a glass cell with Ross smirking at them as they sat there in silence thinking the things that they have done for you.

“welcome to your new life Avengers…in prison!” and a loud laugh erupted from Ross as he walked out as ex-heroes gazes followed his exit.

[not-that-good-at-breathing-in]

~ ~ b r a v e n e w w o r l d ~ ~  ((dispassionate contentment))

I shall divide my thoughts on this book into four main categories: “I didn’t like it”, “is it actually a utopia?”, “Eugenics” and “oh god hyperconsumerism”. I will be informal, tangential, judgemental, but hopefully entirely factual. 

I didn’t like it

The first 100 pages feel completely separate from the rest and are just the most blatant exposition loosely framed in the device of “they were on a tour”. I think there are more engaging ways to start a novel. For example: it can start by introducing the main character as well as the world by having it be about his specific experience, or you can start with a shorter, even dryer text that would be in an in-world pamphlet or something. This way the audience can immediately be immersed in the world and figure things out for themselves, reading outright state propaganda as something unquestionable. But, obviously it isn’t like the book is going to be edited to my preferences after all these years and I don't think mr. Huxley will do anything with the advice either, since he died of laryngeal cancer in 1963.

I also didn’t think any of the characters were sympathetic, either because the pov clearly looked down on them as was with the people who strongly identified with their communities (mostly the mother and Bernard's girlfriend). And the people that were supposed to be taken seriously (i think) were these intellectual men who thought themselves outsiders who could objectively judge the world around them and decide what’s best for everyone (Bernard, John, Galaxy Brian). This is not a type of person I am particularly fond of in the real world and that dislike also extends to the brave new world.

At first, I thought the main character (Bernard) would change and become more chill at some point, but no. He had social anxiety throughout and his coping mechanism was arrogance. I also liked John before he decided to use his life and position to be a raving lunatic by the woods - an understandable, attractive life path, but the implications of it are hopeless. Are you saying the answer to living in a horrifying, dystopian hellscape is to be a thespian recluse, Aldous? Is that really the most productive course of action, Al?

Is it actually a utopia?

As opposed to most “future: bad”-science fiction, most people in the world of Brave New World see their society as a utopia. Only the ragtag gang of angsty male protagonists think of it as being dystopian, which the figures of authority view as a fault of the system. If they have any negative opinion of their society, then clearly the system  of indoctrination has failed them. If only society were more tightly controlled, then it really would be a utopia. But we as the audience of course don’t see it as a utopia at all. The industrialization of human bodies makes that everybody only exists for the sake of the Economy. There are no individuals, only society as a whole, serving itself.

But if the average happiness of a member of a society is not the factor by which we determine how desirable a society is, then what is? 

Diversity? Brave New World has a diverse range of citizens, though they do look the same for the most part, because they exist in large groups of twins. The different groups are bred to be in different social classes and they are discouraged from identifying with each other. So maybe diversity among social groups is important...

Technological progress? If I remember correctly, Brave New World puts a lot of resources into the advancement of science and technology. 

Freedom? The big dystopian science fiction thing that Brave New World gleefully indulges in is *ominous music* TOTALITARIAN GOVERNMENT. In this world, you lose any ability to choose for yourself as you are being produced. Your moral framework, your priorities, your aesthetic taste are decided during your infancy. You do not learn about things you are curious about, but only the things the factory prescribes. Any decision you make after you leave the factory is so heavily decided by the way you’ve been programmed, that it can't be of your own free will however much you think it is. As Huxley himself said: “A really efficient totalitarian state would be one in which [leaders] control a population of slaves who do not have to be coerced, because they love their servitude.”

So, is the purpose of humanity freedom? Idk sure.

Eugenics

Lets start this off by saying that Aldous Huxley was a eugenicist. Here’s a few quotes to support this claim: 

“About 99,5% of the entire population of the planet are as stupid and philistine … as the great masses of the English. The important thing, it seems to me, is not to attack the 99,5% ... but to try to see that the 0,5% survives, keeps it’s quality up to the highest possible level, and, if possible, dominates the rest. The imbecility of the 99,5% is appalling - but after all what else can you expect?” - in a letter to J. Glyn Roberts in 1933

“Birth control depends on the co-operation of an entire people. It must be practiced by countless individuals, from whom it demands more intelligence and will power than most of the world's teeming illiterates possess, and (where chemical or mechanical methods of contraception are used) an expenditure of more money than most of these millions can now afford.” - excerpt from Brave New World Revisited in 1958, in a chapter all about how overpopulation is destroying average living conditions. The looming threat of overpopulation is one of the biggest arguments used in favour of eugenic policies, while the most of the problems attributed to overpopulation are actually symptoms of late stage capitalism… am I getting off topic? Anyway, Aldous had shit politics.

I think the premise of the book is largely about taking the best case scenario of full blown population control to its logical conclusion. “Best case scenario” means that he’s leaving the bigotry and enthnic cleansing out of it (yay?). So, the best case scenario is one in which humans have played god so much that individuality is no longer a thing and neither is passion. Because children are no longer created through copulation, people are discouraged from forming long lasting pair bonds. This form of eugenics eradicates the tedious variable of ♥love♥. 

Consumerism

And even with everyone being conditioned to be content all the time, they still need to B U Y  S T U F F. So, as a means of further pacifying the people, trinkets, sports and spiritual practices are offered as commodities (this doesn’t sound familiar at all). People are not supposed to use things for long amounts of time, so nothing is made to be durable and people are encouraged to use anything once before throwing it away (again, not familiar at all).

The main thing that stuck in my mind after reading this book is that children are conditioned not to enjoy nature. The baby factory puts a lot of effort in overriding our natural instinct of thinking flowers are pretty, because they aren’t profitable enough. I guess I hadn’t really thought about it being in capitalism's favour to distance people from nature as much as possible. This goes along with the fact that it's in capitalism's favour not to think of people as organic beings who are part of a larger ecosystem, because that would mean in hurting nature we also hurt ourselves.

Honestly, the consumerism aspect of this book is too real and I get a bit too despondent thinking about it for a long amount of time. Like, we live in a society where all of our base needs/desires are targeted with advertising for unfulfilling and addictive products to turn a profit for one of, like a few people who also happen to own every flat on kalverstraat and who don’t give a shit the people they’re mooching off of.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

okay I’m STILL not done the book yet because #life(tm) but some follow up reactions

The entire scene where Calypso and Apollo were trying to escape on the slow kiddy train at the Zoo had me in stitches holy shit

Apollo frantically hitting the gas and Calypso is just leisurely walking next to it while glaring at him??? And the guards? omfg I was dying

Meg’s entrance was dramatic and awesome good for her

Why the fuck is this 12 year old so good at sword fighting she can keep up with one of the deadliest swordfighters of the ancient world(tm)

When Lit threatened Leo and Calypso essentially morphed into the knife emoji on spot. A plus.

I mean I’m just saying: I feel like a pregnant griffin isn’t more important than helping a tortured seven year old girl. But I still love Britomartis so I guess it’s whatever

I love how Lit was going on like he has a score to settle with Leo because ‘he and his friends’ fucked him up in Oklahoma but like....Leo didn’t contribute to that at all like Jason literally did everything during that fight??? That was kinda like important to Jason’s development and shit??? Leo and Piper were golden statues and Hedge was outside eating grass??? Shouldn’t Lit’s anger be focused on Jason??? lol

Idk I just found it funny (I want to see Jason Grace again)

Calypso managing to shove out some magic yeah girl!!!!

MEG AND APOLLO HUGGING EACH OTHER FOR DEAR LIFE WHILE SOBBING: MY ENTIRE AESTHETIC

Leo meeting Meg was way too fucking funny omfg “so I understand you can like...control him?” and when Apollo tried denying it she makes him slap himself??? 😂

How did we fucking segue from lighthearted banter directly into Apollo having a vivid flashback of the time he had to murder the love of his life with his bare hands

Like I??? Was sobbing??? So hard???? Because a batshit insane Roman empire was getting killed by someone who loved him bc it was necessary for the world and the lover couldn’t stand to see anyone else hurt him??? Fuck me???? Rick Riordan ain’t real

“I couldn’t bare to look into the water without seeing my beloved’s betrayed face starring back” or whatever the fuck the line was but FUCK

Jo was a teenage girl crossdressing to fuck around with gangsters in the 1920′s before Artemis found her and honestly??? Goals

Also the scene where she was helping Apollo after his flashback was very sweet

Can’t believe the nerd spent like six hours playing soothing music just to get a griffin to lay an egg

Leo and Calypso better be whispering amongst themselves what I think they’re whispering

Leo seems a lot more...subdued than usual in this book? I don’t know if that’s just because we aren’t reading from his POV, or if it’s like a “I literally died and came back and then spent six months getting attacked every single day while trying to find home and now I’m stuck on another dangerous quest I’m fucking stressed” type thing, or if it could be from the relationship problems he’s having with Calypso, but either way he seems a little off and I’m worried about him

The Dread Pirate Valdez...leave.

How was that joke never made once on the Argo tho??? lol

The speed at which Leo seems to have emotionally adopted Meg is astounding and also #relatable

Meg’s far from my favorite character tbh but like??? I will probably punch everyone who’s ever frowned in her general direction in the face. Holy shit give this kid a break

She thinks Nero is scared of the mystery third emperor on the West Coast??? So....Caligula, probably? Laying my bets down on him now

“I triggered the First Law of Percy Jackson” I had to put the book down bc I was laughing so hard I think that lines gonna end up on my gravestone or as the afterword in my autobiography omfg

“I’ve always had a phobia of snakes, especially if you included my step-mother Hera. BOOM!” I choked.

I like that half the time Apollo is able to figure out what to do to win because he has a general understanding of science

Like he knew his burst of godly voice power would only help so much, but he also knew if he stood in the right spot and yelled in the right frequency it would reverberate and knock over the bricks and shit??? NICE

How long were these kids wadding through a sewer how do none of them have hypothermia

Leo: *sets himself on fire* “Gather round, children.”

Like first off someone saying ‘gather round children’ is always going to make me laugh for some reason that’s just a fact but human torching it up really added to the effect lmao

Like okay I understand the set up of the room so that no one would look in the canal and see them but like...how the fuck did no one realize they were there that just felt too easy I’m sorry

Chia Girl

When they found the prisoners was horrifying omfg???

The two fucked up boys on a hunger strike???

“...Hunter the Hunter?” “Yeah, I’ve never heard that before.”

Tall, Dark and Jamie.

Apollo babe you’re on a rescue mission with a time crunch please you can check out Jamie later holy shit

Georgie made me wanna cry get her back to her Combat Moms immediately

The entire sequence of Apollo getting the door open: S C I E N C E  B I T C H

“Lemme just fill up some syringes with ammonia just in case”

Alright I’ll admit when Meg started insisting she had a feeling they needed to go through the door: I was really worried she was about to double cross him.

Glad I was wrong but tbh that whole arena dress rehearsal bullshit was STRESSFULL

S T R E S S F U L L

First of all: Apollo’s out here constantly complaining about his puny mortal body but manages to fight and climb and run with a heavy ass chair strapped to his back: okay,

Second of all: why did no one warn me about Livia the elephant I was on the verge of tears every time he mentioned her

Third of all: Monsters, ostriches, race cars, basketballs, football, human mercenaries, animals, like...what even the fuck else SO MUCH WAS GOING ON I would’ve died in ten seconds flat???

Fourth of all: let’s just SET THE FUCKING GRAIN SPIRIT ON FIRE WHY THE FUCK NOT. HOW DID MEG EVEN MANAGE TO GET HIM DOWN. HOW DID APOLLO AND LIVIA MANAGE TO CRASH COMMODUS’ CAR TO THAT DEGREE AND HE NOT ONLY SURVIVED BUT THREW THE WRECKAGE AWAY FROM HIM

Fifth of all: THE FUCKING HUNTERS SHOW UP AND CAUSE EVEN M O R E CHAOS. Truly I don’t know how any of the main heroes survived that there was just too much.

The entire time I was reading it I was like “This feels like a giant fight at the climax of the book how the fuck are there more pages left what else is going to happen???” AND IM STILL WONDERING THAT LIKE

Thalia Grace has been returned to me.

Apollo’s strong urge to save Lit??? Okay I guess. It’s nice to see him being compassionate and shit but. I was kinda with Leo on that one lol

“Thalia Grace slid behind me on the elephant, which fulfilled one of the fantasies I’d had about the Hunter, although I never quite imagined it playing out like this” M E

What was his elephant-involved fantasy with Thalia I need a complete play by play lmao

Also the scene where Commodus dropped his composure for a sec and had a full-blown Angry Ex moment (which...he’s definitely entitled to). That was good and also I was highkey worried he might just try to kill my nerd then and there

Also that he’s not just mad that Apollo killed him but like. All their fucking history together. Shit’s intense.

Apollo loves this elephant so much after only like 15 minutes the first thing he’s gonna do when he’s immortal again is bless her or some shit

Also I’m glad they got that awful chainmail off her

The Hunters apparently just have a magical energy drink with mercury in it okay

Honestly??? I’m a little mad Artemis has been ordered not to contact him THE BOY JUST WANTS TO SEE HIS SISTER HOLY SHIT

Aaaaaand that’s about where I left off. Hoping to finish it all together the next time I get a chance. Hoping all the losers are alright. LOVING this book so far. Waiting to see an official reunion between Georgie and her Combat Moms. The Headless Ghost’s cryptic warning has me worried. Until next time...