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#idk if this even makes sense i was just thinking abt it while i was in the shower
buqbite · 2 months
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it's kinda fascinating to me how welt has been "at the end of his life" for like. several decades by now. he goes on and on about how old and weary he is and how "his job is done" and his story is over but- oh wait i just realized i can phrase this in a very funny way- he's kind of sorta immortal now because he got the herrscher core back, so he's really just stuck in the epilogue for all eternity
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bacchuschucklefuck · 2 months
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the never stop blowing up vhs is where cute twinks go to get harmed
#not art#nsbu spoilers#kirk blade.... johnny manhattan..... maybe tenuously cosmo chase#also genuinely I Love that vic ethanol is showing himself to be bit of a dick#and kingskin conversely First Actual Communication With The Player is like. idk I just work here#(I am vibrating in my seat abt liv bloodlust. shes experiencing a bit of emotional consequence. hope she powers thru it and#becomes even worse)#I also love that g13 and jack manhattan are both like. gone#I know in adventuring party they're charting it to shape up as like. usha also slowly losing herself to the work like g13 did#and them becoming one entity entirely in the sense that their selves stop mattering in the face of their hacker capacity#(also called the Forum Moderator Dilemma)#but I also like to think that g13 handed it back to usha cleanly in the second episode with that one interaction#and is now fully unplugged from everything. left the movie. man is Sleeping#we all agree that paula ate jack manhattan tho I think it's fine to assume that#and! the way russell has been like. fully going whole hog full tilt into helping other people and moving the plot along#while Suggesting That Doing Self Reflection And Learning Lessons From This World Might Help to Other People#like I love that. 1/lieutenant syndrome but also 2/extremely transfem coded#like past the ''ohh I have realisationd I'm coming to'' stage. far past. man is bored with thinking abt genders#not new realisation to him! had that thought two decades ago. not motivated enough by anything to change anything#I think I just love the scenario of like magical mystical journey in a fantasy world clearly designed to make you contemplate ur gender#and ur like oh no what? we did that years ago. whats up#deeply interested tho. open up russell we wanna see whats up with u#dang is perfect no note 10/10 more important than anything else he is genre aware and savvy and that truly is all he needs here#the ''let's make it fun'' scene he does with liv is SO good I love him. Im so scared the vhs will snatch him away. hes too genre perfect
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jrueships · 2 months
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something invokes the carnal rage in me when a grown man rages like a two-year old over a video game
#it makes me think of the mothers trying to act like theyre defusing an already blown up bomb and it's literally just#idk#it just gives me the ick im srry the moment i hear one 'me' entitled statement and it's not like#clearly burnt out 'i kinda know im being ironic' ventong#venting LMAO#and just genuine sorrow for urself#over a Digital Game#i just cant srry#maybe it's my youngest to an older brother who everyone gets the ages flipped around Not just from looks but actual Acting#syndrome#and of course context plays a part too like if u have a stressful af job and just wanted to rewind? understandable. id be pissed too#but mfers who just Sit there and continue to stink the whole room up is like. ok. get some air or smthin#i do Not fuck around with throwing or damaging expensive shit ESPECIALLY if u did not pay for it#idk im naturally good at video games i think only bcs i only had access to old one that were way above my age audience#so i had to develop a sense of patterning not just to have competition but to just play the game at all#but still i have gotten frustrated at games bcs everyone gets frustrated at smthing#but usually now. at my grown age. (even tho i Rarely ever game anymore bcs i cant rlly so anything not active in my mind#bcs of Guilt and Constant Dread of Judgement)#when i find myself getting frustrated it's bcs im purposefully either playing a harder level/mode/with better ppl so i can advance#and the advancing is just not happening#i acknowledge that and accept not every difficulty can be passed at one time or at all sometimes in my limited time/care so i just either#Shut it Off. or go back down to a pace i know can just be carefree#i DO have a thing where i Need to end on a win. which is not good bcs i do that with everythin (like sports) in order to justify me quittin#but if i have to get out of the rlly competitive lobby to get my dopamine then i will bcs this is meant to give u that#anyways it's just insane. ted complains abt superfocus while being superfocused himself on the concept of superfocus#the neverending story#DO anything not active** idk it's my fear of death maybe that i disease myself with everything needing a purpose when it comes to gain
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nyxi-pixie · 1 year
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on a more srs note asagiri making fyodors pitfall not understanding emotional motivation properly is very dear to me in this era of loser men idolising being a super genius who equates optimal logic to the total disregard of emotion
like at evry point dazai one upped him its just cos he can work with people and understands emotional connection better (knowing tachihara had more loyalty to the pm than to the hunting dogs [or at least to their ideals] for example and being able to put every inch of his trust in chuuya saving his ass for the 58284892nd time while fyodor is busy assuming they have a shallow bond😭).
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I know this is very much not canon (or maybe it...is kind of? I haven't read the book in a while and maybe I'm super misinterpreting something), but I think it would've been neat if the movies had played around with the possibility that Paul like...can't actually see the future at all. It would be interesting imo to establish him early on as someone who's hyper-observant of details and really good at pattern recognition, and can therefore just "guess" stuff about people and future events. And then when he does actually start having prophetic visions/dreams there would be like...a seed of doubt. For the audience, for him and for everyone who knows him, just that hint of "well wait a minute, how much of this is him having psychic powers and how much is just...him being him? Where is the line?"
This is gonna go on a bit of a tangent so hear me out. Last year I read a really fascinating book called Hild, which was a fictionalized early life account of a real Anglo-Saxon saint, St Hilda of Whitby. In the book, Hild is portrayed as being highly intelligent in a way that, in the context of early Medieval spiritualism, is mistaken for precognition. Her mother, due to them being in a dangerous political position, uses this to essentially scam the king into believing her daughter is a prophet, and her position as a "seer" ends up winning them much political gain.
But Hild can't actually predict the future. She's extremely pattern recognizant, and can take educated guesses about people and nations' next moves politically based on details that are usually overlooked, she makes connections many others don't -- but she's not a seer. And obviously now, looking at this book in retrospect, the whole "mother installs her child as a false prophet for their safety but also for political gain" thing is giving me some Dune brainrotty parallels.
So while I don't remember this strictly being in the source material, I still think it would be neat for an adaptation of Dune (or just me, playing around in fanfics because I might do that) to have more hints towards that possibility. That maybe Paul isn't super smart and intuitively knows things he shouldn't and can see the future - he is actually just super smart. Not confirming 100% that that's the case, but leaving room for doubt. Leaving you wondering up until the last minute where it turns out it doesn't matter anyway; if he's believed to be what he is, then he is. Idk. Just a thought.
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bunnihearted · 3 months
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🌷🕸️
#i've been thinking about this quite a lot on and off for a while#but to try to process it more i just wanna try to vent:#my sexuality is very messy. even inside my head. so scary. so complicated...?? so just thoughts of it are scary#and like there has only ever been one person who like just thinking about sex with has felt like good#not scary or terrifying. not with all of my avpd symptoms woven in (like one is that idk if i could ever have sex w someone#like actually be with them and be able to look them in the eyes and then also keep talking to them afterwards and not just run away and#never see them again. that's just one thing and this isnt abt that so anyway#like yeah just thinking about sex w him feel ok. safe and comfortable. and enjoyable and like i can and want it#which is smth like... with my other crushes before i've fantasized abt having sex w them but it felt bad and scary ://#and like i didnt actually want sex w them...#and with this person that isnt there. it's scary in a way since like im not experienced at all and idk how it feels irl 💀#but not in the way i usually feel abt it!!!!#so this just in my head#plus the fact that like talking and expressing some of my thoughts TO him ... felt good and safe and comfortable#is actually such a gift from him.... and i'll always treasure this (one of many things haha ^^)#bc he made me experience this and that i can feel good and ok and safe about it#i do feel sad that when this was current i was so cautious and shy bc it was so new to me#i was feeling smth real and genuine emotionally w him and i wasnt just saying stuff ... if that makes sense lmao#hmmm... yeah i've never felt good abt it before that w him. so it was so so new. and i couldnt quite get used to it fast#now im getting messy in my thoughts again sksksk#i just feel like this meant so much to me to just have had it#and idk im just so happy to know that these feelings are possible for me .. and i feel thankful for him that he gave me this not so little#thing/feeling/experience#now... the thing is... he is the only one i've felt all of the things with. like attraction/safe/comfortable/taken seriously etc etc.... so#umm what do i do now? 💀#ig either way im glad i know that this exists for me and that im not incapable of it. even if my avpd makes me feel that way#ok.. skurr skurr?#but yeah sexuality is so fkn scary for me idk it just gets too much i wanna cry T-T
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butterflieswhisper · 5 months
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hhelp wait this is so funny. didnt you follow me forever ago after a scott themed october song analysis . sorry if you dont remember that and this ask doesnt make sense but this is still funny to me
hi!!!! yeah. it was the cherri crane lives art i think and also where you made your flower husbands tag! I have never really interacted with fh outside of you (and like, seeing pretty fanart) but i am nonetheless deeply invested in your interpretation specifically!!! I honestly haven't watched jimmy outside of rats and the beginning of empires2 either i genuinely have no clue what they get up to you just seem to have a lot of fun with it
#asks#<-omg i can make that a tag now#i also am a year behind on the life series. i think the most recent one i've seen is double#like from any pov. i am a year behind. however that goes for everything on youtube#my poor watch later playlist hit the 5000 video limit forever ago and so did the second one i made to replace it. i am on my third#but seriously i don't know what goes on in fh canon but i like their blue/yellow thing they have going on. idk if that's like? intentional?#but like scott blue and canary yellow are really pretty colors together#and they are also SO close to being complimentary colors and yet. they aren't. just a little bit off#they don't quite fit quite how they should. i made that up on the spot i mostly think yellow and blue are nice colors#i think my biggest exposure to scott before you was literally the deal with destiny song in empires1#and i don't even think i acknowledged him as like a real guy ykwim.#like oh yeah. scott smajor. he's like. in that song lizzie made or something. he can sing alright i guess (plays it on loop)(plays it on lo#whisp whispers#seeing u post about Discourse(tm) is always really funny to me because i didn't realize for a while that u did not have like#the 'normal' interpretation? like i didn't realize you had a different view than other people#i was like oh yeah the relationship held in the death games is toxic. that makes sense yeah and is not surprising#and then suddenly there would be a post where you mention discourse and i went. Ohhhhh wait they're supposed to be HAPPY!!!#but i feel like this is infinitely more enjoyable i love Flawed Characters#and especially now after watching his rats. i get it. i get it i get it i see what you are saying#he doesn't interact much with jimmy hes mostly with owen and. i mean#'i've never heard someone apologize so much while putting the blame on the other person'???? i see exactly what you mean#r!scott accidentally hurting r!owen and then apologizing profusely while insisting it's because owen stood in his way. and then immediately#isolating himself in a room for like 20 minutes and refusing to interact with anyone feels like. idk#it reminds me of ur rambles and i understand them more now i think. kind of#to be clear by 'with' i mean like. in proximity of. those rats are AROMANTIC!!!!! (to me)#i'm so sorry these tags are a mess. but alas#i also think it's really funny to follow Flower Husbands guy and know nothing abt them. invested by proxy. whenever i hear abt scott giving#jimmy a flower i get excited not because like i know what's going on but because omg! that's like that thing bree talks about sometimes!!#i hope that like. any of this makes sense shdbfjk
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waywardsalt · 6 months
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its weird how botw/totk and. pretty much all of the other loz games seems to have entirely separate fandoms at times
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doubleedgemode · 4 months
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There's a post that explains it way better than I do but. I'm currently thimking about A.B.As frankenstein influence
Aside from the obvious "concept art refs frankenstein by name, so one could assume the head key worked as her electrodes/bolts" I don't see many people mention how her strive boots are black platforms a la creature's movie depiction's (roadworker if I'm not mistaken?? I probably am) boots. Also yknow they have lil bolts
#one of my funny unserious theories: while we only see a little bit of frasco I assume it's quite big. idk it's a mansion lab.#so there were a lot of keys#for its many rooms#WHICH think abt it seems to be kinda implief since aba had a key collection even before meeting para#one could argue she took em in her lil escapades but we don't know how long they could be (cause she couldn't go too far n frasco was prob#isolated since it was in the mountains imo. maybe there couldve been a nearby mountain village but still imo it was prob kinda hidden)#SO my goofy theory is that the creator was. wait. we can be pragmatic. we have some big keys here. those could work as electrodes yup#though it'd be interesting if they also had a key obsession fsr mirroring hers#'if it was already a normal key why did it have a skull design“ this is gg so I choose to believe frascos interior design even before getti#thrashed by the military already had a creepy monstery vibe. the creator played into thst I think cause come on.#frascos caged monsters were either made by the creator or.. aba herself#guh I'm procrastinating#worth noticing that while all of abas franken-refs are based off the movie version (which makes sense. it's the more iconic afterall!)#did u know book creatures skin was transparent. That's right. I can tie that into my 'slightly transparent skin aba“ n not look absurd lmao#look I don't even feel that strongly abt that hc I just think it's cool and adds to her vibes hence I tend to discuss it. sorry#a.b.a#text tag2b named#I rly need to read the frankenstein novel sometime...#I feel it'd be up my alley of empathizing with 'seen as offputting and shunned artificial mimicries of humans that can be oh so tragic“#edit: fuuuck I forgot ggworld confirms it's a key-shaped screw not a straight up key. but still my silly theory can work 'okay guys we need#a big chunk of metal to make a screw for my homunculus OH WE CAN RECYCLE OUR BIG KEY“#frankentag2b named
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arolesbianism · 5 months
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Yet another beautiful day to have the Maxwel tag blocked (can't see half of the posts in the Wendy tags)
#rat rambles#starve posting#maxwell posters have lost any semblance of tolerance from me ages ago Ive yet to meet a maxwell fan who's just like a normal person#and to clarify I actually do like maxwel as I am the number one just some asshole whos in too deep enjoyer#but dear god are ppl just absolutely incapable of being normal abt this man and everyone around him#and even beyond that ppl just do not get this man like please he is indeed interesting but not because of some 'retconed redemption'#like pls we can live in a world where he is not an irridemable monster and is in fact just some guy while also still being a flawed person#like the fact that he is so deeply flawed in ways that he never actually properly adressed and challenged is the interesting thing to me#like look at me. he went through horrible shit he didnt deserve. that didnt inherently make him a better or worse person#it just made him a more miserable person#and he didnt escape because of some change of heart or character development#and afterwards he teamed up with wilson because of necessity#I do think on some level he genuinely cares abt the other survivors and he does have genuine regret for how things turned out#but again those things dont inherently mean he moved past the flaws that got him here it just means he has the ability to recognize that#shit sucks and that he wish none of it happened#its why encore is one of my favorite animations from a character perspective because it shows some juicy charlie and maxwell stuff#mainly it shows both that charlie has not forgiven his ass and is manipulating him and that maxwell is still susceptible to it#which isnt a sigh of them rolling back development it's just a sign that maxwell is easy to manipulate with the right cards#which adds up considering his past and his present very well in my opinion#this is a man whos historically always ran away from his problems and is always on the hunt for a sense of control#and charlie tapped into both that and his ever present guilt#its in fact very unsurprising and not out of place for him to fall for that sort of manipulation#and it also makes for a great set up for the inevitable betrayal from charlie as maxwell is hit by the harsh reality of his situation#and that whole situation would lead to some yummy tasty parallels when charlie inevitably gets betrayed herself (I hope)#the ways charlie and maxwel are so similar yet so different facinates me deeply I love how much charlie doesnt realize shes kinda fucked#I want her to be betrayed so hard and left in the dust with no ground to stand on I want the rug pulled out from under her feet#her composition comes from her confidence in the necessity of her actions and the moral superiority she feels over maxwell#so having her sense of superiority be revoked would make for a super fascinating dynamic as she tries to justify the situation in her head#I wanna see her siral and then maybe change her pronouns idk
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#so i survived my 1st week as a phd student. it's interesting. im not sure how i feel#the negatives are that i forgot how much stress being around people causes me. as a research assistant i was able to be on my own schedule#and go into the lab at odd hours so i never had to see anyone. but now im in classes and teaching and have a shared office#classes are tolerable stress wise so long as im sitting on an edge. i only feel a lil like im dying. teaching makes nauseous beforehand.#which is odd bc im not really worried while im doing it or before im doing it. i thibk its just that i have to interact ans i kno im a#mediocre teacher bc id rather die than do the back and forth of asking questions and u should teach interactively#i like to break down complex idea and help people with problems but i was not build to teach in classrooms. i get knocked off points when#i give class presentations bc i cant make eye contact lol. so that'll b annoying this semester. and its just so hard to function in an#office space. idk its weird like i dont even feel it that much while im there its just like a flashing *i need to leave* alarm. and then#when im alone its like a physical weight off of me. and i cant tell if thats what's draining my energy or if ive just cycled into a low#energy lul bc im just like. i wanna sleep. and for me thats always a sign that somethings wrong. i dont feel that bad mood wise but its#like there's a rock weighing me down as im trying to tread water. so those r the big negatives. the positives r that#i do enjoy being back in school. i love the structure of it. but im also self destructive abt structure so well see how it goes. but my#lab mates seem nice as does my advisor. i feel a bit bad bc ill have to learn genome stuff from the ground up. and today i was trying to#convey ideas to him like an insane person. bc i dont have enough background to talk fluidly abt my prospective project and i have a picture#of what i mean but not all the details. hopefully i made some sense. i think the idea is cool. and thats the other really positive thing.#the papers i have to read associated with this project r waaaaaaaaaay more interesting than anything i ever had to read for my masters. like#they're the types of papers i would force other ppl to read for lab meetings. so im optimistic abt not hating it by the end haha#yay for being excited abt science. but i guess thats the other thing i feel bad abt. like im interested but haven't read a lot to prep bc#i cant express how difficult dyslexia makes things but also i cant control how interested in things i get so i bassically banned myself#from reading papers im actually interested in like 3 years ago bc in retrospect i was prob going thru a hypomanic episode#and i was like reading papers abt microbes in Antarctica all day and not working on my stuff. and i just remember walking into the lab at#like 5am to trasfer alage with tears streaming down my face bc i was just like. i cant have this nice thing and b functional. it has to stop#so i just created this weird barrier in my mind where im not allowed to read fun papers. so its odd to b reading them now for work. its odd#also i was walking to my office worring abt things and then i saw some moss growinf around the edge of the sidewalk and it made me wanna cry#bc i am an extremely normal individual. i have normal feelings abt photosynthesis. but anyway yeah. its been interesting#hopefully ill stay optimistic. next week we have a orientation for new grad students. and i might have to drive like an hr away. hate that#the driving i mean. not the orientation. that should b fun#unrelated
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vvenuspng · 10 months
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i have an inkling.. i might start to feel ok enough to post soon.. at some point.. eventually...!! <3 so!! maybe art?!! who knows……..
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angeltism · 8 months
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god i fucking hate spa.rkle sm . most shit i'm seeing says she's being racist against roman.ians , but . . . considering roman.ians are . white europeans ? and i haven't heard of much oppression towards roman.ians . I kinda doubt it ?? but you know what people whose oppression i've heard plenty of in roman.ia and who sound similar enough they constantly get confused with each other ? roma . who were enslaved for fucking centuries and to this day still face horrendous oppression in roman.ia . is she . is she fucking racist towards the h.sr version of part of my heritage . hoyo can i kick her can i please kick and punch her please please please pleaaaase pl
#➳ the fool speaks#i mean even if she just hates eastern europeans For Some Reason (roman.ians) that's still her being a racist bitch abt my heritage#<- roman.ian AND rom.ani#i deserve to kick her into the sun i think#also would this mean aven.turine is . rom.ani ? he's pale and blond . which wouldn't be toooo accurate i think ?#but ykw even if he is meant to be rom.ani n nawt roman.ian . and I'm right with all this . I don't expect hoyo to actually make someone fro#somewhere that is supposed to be based off of a culture and people that originates in northwestern india#have an ounce of color in their skin#he might also just be roman.ian but ?? then the slavery comments that I've seen around don't rlly make much sense .#but um !! idk this is going off of screenshots I've seen and what people r saying about aven.turine and her n all that so#n i haven't played in a while so idfk what's going on in the plot . this is just me being pissy about the possibility of a culture that's#still getting fucking oppressed horrendously and forgotten about and Not Even Having Their Oppression Taught To Others getting used . and#now a fucking . anime girl that I've already seen people saying they'll empty their wallets for n calling her their ''waifu 🥺''#is being a racist piece of shit abt it . like . i find it a bit distasteful. no ? like racism can and should be shown in media#but . . . don't . don't try to sell the racist character ? don't make them look cool ? like ? am i overreacting idfk i just hate spa.rkle#SHE EVEN HAS A STUPID NAME#WTF ''ah yes this racist ableist piece of shit let's name her fucking SPARKLE'' ????????? fucking hell i dont like her i hate her#if she's playable or becomes playable I deserve to punch everyone who spends on whatever her banner is in the jaw . sorry#tw slavery ment#tw racism ment#ask to tag
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ozlices · 8 months
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v personally & candidly speaking i rly wish how much depression can fuck w a person's ability to keep up w their personal hygiene was discussed more & w more empathy/sympathy attached.
during depression spikes my ability to keep up my personal hygiene is the first thing to go & it sucks. i Feel gross & i can't do anything abt it bc my executive dysfunction keeps me chained down in a dirt covered chokehold. sometimes for over a week.
& it's also v difficult to combat bc my disabilities make showers rly rly draining for me. like ik once i shower im down for the rest of the day, so that just adds to it as well.
i have numerous alternatives i TRY to do when im stuck in that layer of hell for awhile, but sometimes they take even more mental energy than just simply forcing myself to shower & if i could do that i wouldn't be needing to consider the alternatives in the first place
idk i just. like. it sucks feeling fucking disgusting bc u physically cannot bring urself to take care of urself & it's completely out of ur hands & knowing ur also probably judged for it u know
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bandzboy · 1 year
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but also speaking of music i am really trying to like... make my own music outside of classes but i just haven't started out anything yet even tho i have ideas and i'm like super inspired but yeah i might be doing like a... huge project that might... take me a while to finish but it will be worth it TRUST
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my review of the quarry is Fun game that suffers at crucial moments from being boring. 😪 that is to say the start of the game is loooong i know the characters need to be established but dare i say it, the game was far too ambitious in being able to handle a cast of THAT size. because nick & abigail & even poor jacob (i could even say kaitlyn tbh..) are neglected so much. nick you play as like ONCE, abigail a few times for very short segments and then every time i played jacob he was lost and naked in the forest LMFAOOO.
but it was a really fun game and id highly recommend it, id just say you might have to really push past the start of it and this one godamn segment in the game was so unbelieveably long and boring i felt like i was gonna die. like why are ryan and laura wandering around in this underground mine talking abt we only have an hour to kill chris !!! and then bickering and flirting like GODAMN !! CHOP CHOP LADIES .
my favourite was dylan. didnt expect it. but he was a sweetie pie. my least favourite was ryan. i cant explain it but he had this selfish self-importance about himself that got on my last fucking nerve and maybe that i had to play him so many times and hear him go 'uhhh' so much it had me wanting to ram my head into a wall. emma and her exposition to her instagram fans was more bearable. and besides i love mean girls who go on zip lines. but dylan was such a cutie . abigail shouldve been a lesbian .
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