#idk if this is good but the idea has been in my brain and im getting attention by writing fanfiiction he he he he

[catboygirljoker]

fun writing tip: you can justify making your blorbos as good at sex as you want if you also make it depressing

i will try not to be too graphic or horny and keep it mostly to character study analysis themes core motivations plot conflicts etc type discussion. still, id really prefer that folks under 18 do not interact with me on this post or about this topic in general, thanks!

for obvious reasons this post is gonna have a cut

UNLIKE HIS DIIIIICK [EXTREMELY LOUD AIRHORNS]

. sorry i just feel like hed appreciate that joke. uh anyway

Brief discussions of: BDSM, including sadomasochism; edgeplay; derealization/dysphoria; self-destructive recklessness in a sexual context.

ok. so there's this fictional guy. and i kiiiiiiind of have a crush on him. and i'm a basic bitch, so, like, obviously, when i think about him hornystyle, i want to imagine him being good at sex.

the thing is, "good at sex" is not always a particularly interesting trait to give a character! it can often be an eyerolling power fantasy trait. like "this is my oc Chuck Dongburger he has a ten pound cock and can make a babe cum just by lookin at her" yknow. it's a trait that, handled incorrectly, is more likely to flatten conflict than create it—more likely to make stories more boring than to make them more interesting.

also, "being good at sex" isnt a magical blessing that descends upon someone by chance. it is a quality that stems from a set of experiences and traits. it is a skill that one develops, or fails to develop.

so the question is, how do i justify him being good at sex? how do i make it feel believable and interesting?

the answer is simple! make it depressing! (that is, relate it directly to the character's central themes and conflicts, and therefore make it a natural part of/inclusion in their story)

in canon, xigbar has had multiple bodies, lost his heart multiple times, allowed himself to be a vessel for darkness on multiple occasions. he has endured all of this to carry out the will of his masters. every social role we've ever seen him take has been subservient to someone else, even if it has usually also involved social power over others, too.

here are the sex/relationship headcanons i have that expand on this:

related to: gender/sexuality

bisexual. for starters. obviously. his transness i have Deep Headcanons about, but his bisexuality is just "idk im bi so hes bi hee hee"

luxu is a binary trans man who experienced severe dysphoria in his original body and never felt like that body really belonged to him in the first place. to the best of his ability he has only chosen cis male vessels, including braig. in those cases he feels extreme disconnect from his body but not [very noticeable] gender dysphoria. the only thing connecting him to his cis male bodies is his sexual characteristics. theres this great art piece that has never left my brain that conveys the idea im going for. his face his hair his bones none of those are his, none of thise feel real, none of those feel right. but what does feel right is his dick.

related to: him being Good at Sex™

he is Very Experienced. he's tried a lot of shit and had a lot of bodies and largely had nothing better to do than be a horndog and kill time suckin and fuckin. he is down for just about anything with just about anybody. he knows how bodies work and knows how to deal with the exceptions and roll with awkwardness and uncomfortableness.

he is pretty good at reading people—it's a skill he has had to develop over his lifetime. he is sometimes wrong, but usually right, and reading people, understanding them, lets him feel like he has some kind of control or power over them. this is relevant because this is part of what makes him Good at Sex. he is shockingly responsive and attentive; not completely unselfish as a lover, but he won't blindly exert his will onto the other person and expect them to respond just because he has a big dick or is going faster or harder or whatever.

related to: his backstory as luxu

sex for him is a means of exerting control over the world, proving his own competence and worth to himself and another person, gaining some simulacrum of human connection, distracting himself from his derealization, grounding himself in his body, expressing and claiming his masculinity. all things, i headcanon, he also achieves (or seeks/has sought to achieve) from keyblade mastery.

he views his bodies as disposable, and knowing that he can just jump ship if he totals a body means that he processes pain differently than most people. not in a "all pain makes him horny" way*—it's more that pain doesn't make his self-preservation kick in the same way it does for other people. in bdsm/kink settings he is a masochist [as well as a sadist] and more reckless with edgeplay (when it comes to himself) than he really ought to be.

obviously i have specific personal motivation for wanting to headcanon this (he and his body are both Significantly Older Than Me) but i don't think he's too bothered by an age gap. some people it makes sense to me to imagine that they'd really want to date within their age and maturity range, but i think xigbar's chill as long as the person he's dating is a self-posessed adult. considering how long he's been alive, he's gonna have a significant gap in experience with ANYBODY; there isn't that much of a difference between him dating a 25 year old vs a 45 or 85 year old.

he has told close romantic partners about his Whole Deal before. it has never gone well. ("what do you mean youve been moving into random people's bodies in order to stay alive long enough to bring back a guy who intentionally manipulated his students into killing all of their students via senseless war??") they never understand and he doesn't know why they don't understand (i also headcanon him having severe cognitive dissonance vis a vis the MoM but that's a different post). his instinct is to put up a wall and go "well theyre just naive and stupid and haven't seen what i've seen, theyre too sentimental to understand this". he still keeps trying (if with less frequency) because he is desperate for someone to understand.

related to: him being subservient

*i want to make this crystal clear: i do not headcanon xigbar as being automatically turned on by receiving or causing pain in every context, because he is a boss in a video game franchise where he fights teenagers. i am not comfortable sexualizing those fights!

(i do however think there are contexts where he might indulge in some "battle sadomasochism" when fighting another adult—maybe he makes it weird for them on purpose to fuck with them, maybe they're both into it and it's all foreplay, etc)

youd think that when i talked about him being subservient to others, i was building up to a headcanon about him being a sub. however it feels most correct [and fun] to me to imagine him being a dom-leaning switch vers (doesnt get dysphoria from bottoming because. prostate). social role and personal dynamics dont necessarily correspond to sexual dynamics!

the headcanon i was actually building up to was that he craves affirmation in specific ways from specific people. he is desperate for someone else to give him worth. he wants to do a good job serving an authority he deems worthy of respect. he wants to be useful, he wants to serve a purpose and have a role. he hates feeling like he needs something from someone else, and feels much more comfortable if they need something from him.

he doesn't have a praise kink in a traditional sense, but he does really get his rocks off from being Good At Sex and from his lovers clearly and obviously enjoying themselves. he doesn't wanna be told hes done a good job, he wants to know, to tell from experience that he's blown someone's mind.

furthermore, in romance, he becomes a massive simp. if he likes someone enough to fall for them then they hang the fucking moon for him. he is outside in the rain crying throwing up begging for a sniff. absolutely pathetic. its not a total transformation of personality, i think he'd really hide it and really want to hide it. but i think in most situations it'd be subtle but observable. every joke he makes is directed to them and checked against their reaction; he stands at a middle distance outside of conversation kinda watching them, observing every move, memorizing their gestures and tics and quirks. he feels i love you before the first date but won't say it until five years into the relationship.

related to: i couldnt put it in the other sections and i really only made these section headers so it wasnt just big walls of text oops

he's a low empathy emotionally constipated bitch at the best of times, so he substitutes emotional intimacy with physical intimacy. picking up people at bars or dances or what have you for one night stands, satisfying them thoroughly, and then immediately dropping out of their lives.

he actively avoids romance (and any emotional closeness, including the completely platonic kind). but he hasn't always been this way. i think Dark Road was the most recent in a long long string of experiences where he lost people he was close to. he's tired of hurting people and getting hurt.

. im not gonna get into it because im trying not to be like too too horny in this post but hes So fucking brat tamer coded to me. i think you will understand at least the surface level reasons for this. i guess if i wanted to relate it to Themes i'd say something like "there is a specific romantic and sexual fantasy in being an asshole and even hurting someone and them still wanting you and trusting you and loving you and even enjoying it" but. well we dont need to go there do we

these are just the Depressing / Character-Related / Themes-y headcanons. some of my headcanons are just like "i think this would be funny and/or in character and/or hot" but you see how long this list is anyway. if i started in on all of that then we'd be here forever.

also, these are just headcanons! they're informed by analysis but shaped heavily by what appeals to me personally, what i find hot, what i find compelling about his character. if your headcanons for him differ from mine in any way, i don't think you're Wrong, because we're talking about the sexuality of a guy who comes from a video game franchise where characters are barely allowed to hold hands. this is all just toys and playing

anyway thank you for reading this post lmao its so long

JUST LIKE HIS DIIIIIIIIIIII—

[datingdonovan]

a/n: wake up. food's ready. just sat here for a few minutes and rehabbed an old draft that was probably based on this fabulous onceler drabble, I think? also VERY pg13... not really any explicit sex but. it's a lot about sex. my blog and my writing used to be so sfw but cece is back after her most recent troubling sexual relationship and is probably sexier than ever. he he ha ha help me. I hope you enjoy. also reader is gn but does get called beautiful so if that feels gendered or triggering to you please be aware! also mentions of tipsy/inebriated sex!!!! so dubcon in that way? I tried to make everyone not drunk drunk but if tipsy sex is slimy for you watch out for that too

10:45AM

Yamaguchi wakes up slowly, eyes halfway open, naked body warm. And then he remembers what happened. The muscles in his body all tense at once, and it takes every fiber of his being to stay still. No no no no no. That hadn't happened. Shit. That hadn't happened, right?

But it had. His palm is resting on the soft skin of your hip and despite his best efforts he's squeezing lightly, so fucking nervous, and you're squirming toward him, still asleep, smiling softly, and it had, it had happened, oh god, it had.

Fuck. His ears are ringing with anxiety. What had happened? What had happened? He hadn't drank nearly enough last night for this to possibly have fucking happened.

And the information floods his mind as you nuzzle closer to his chest, your skin flush against his, a soft kiss where your mouth meets his shoulder. You, Tsukki, Tsukki breaking up with you — meanly, meaner than was necessary. You, Yamaguchi, and Tsukki, best friends, best friends since freshman year and Tsukki dating you and Yamaguchi shutting up and enduring it and you feeling tired of Tsukki's pretentiousness and his mean jokes and you telling Yamaguchi about it and Yamaguchi telling Tsukki about it and instead of fixing it making it worse and then you. You. YOU.

You with no more Tsukki, crying into his shoulder, and saying you just want to fuck someone. You're not even angry, you knew this was coming, you just want to fuck someone to forget. And Yamaguchi, the ever-loving asshole that he is, saying yes, yes, that makes sense, instead of saying, no, it's a bad idea. And then your dorm room, and then your sheets, and then your skin, god, your fucking skin. And now probably a hundred missed calls from Tsukki when Yamaguchi can chance a look at his phone, and the swirling feeling of bile coming up his throat, but what the fuck was he supposed to do? Wouldn't anyone have done the same?

He'd been in love with you since he first laid eyes on you, and in better, kinder ways than Tsukki, he knew. You were so beautiful, a ray of sunshine, someone who deserved the world, and to be treated with tenderness, and care. Tsukki just treated you like he did any other adoring idiot who was obsessed with him. Yamaguchi knew you deserved someone who was obsessed with you, and he knew he could be that. He knew he could love you. He had to constantly fucking remind Tsukki how you took your coffee in the morning, and what your favorite flavor of ice cream was, and that it did in fact matter when he got home if you were waiting up for him, and that you actually cared about him more than he knew and he shouldn't be wasting this opportunity treating you like an annoyance, like you didn't deserve his attention. Hell, with everything Yamaguchi tried to do to make sure you were treated right, you might as well have been dating him the whole time.

And he hated how his heart twinged with jealousy every time you chose his best friend over him, but he let it happen, because he loved you, even though he just fucking knew that wasn't how it was supposed to be. And then last night, everyone was tipsy, and you were crying, and he saw the chance to show you what really being loved could look like, and he took it. Fuck.

You mumble something soft and sweet against his shoulder and he remembers what he said last night with you on top of him, the only thing he could find the words to say, in every cadence he could think of, even after you laughed and told him to stop:

"I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you."

Yamaguchi swallows hard.

It hadn't been sex. It had been love. And that was so, so much worse.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

[baeshijima]

it is now officially the 25th which means...

merry christmas everyone !!! regardless of whether u celebrate or not, i hope u all have a lovely day with whoever u spend it with or with urself <33

[xxcherrycherixx]

" Blondie believes that she will never fit in. she's no social outcast or anything- but when she compares herself to her friends and classmates she begins to feel like a puzzle piece trying to fit into a jenga tower. so she squeezes and bends and rips herself to fit into any tiny crack she can, she desperately curates a perfect persona hiding everything that doesn't fit the mold she has created for herself.

after a drop in her mental health she starts wandering the forests behind her home at night, she knows its risky to go out so late and especially to a place so dangerous- but that's the point. she would never admit this morbid intention, admitting that's what she's doing is something she never wants to do. shes not that kind of person, she doesn't have those kinds of issues- instead she pretends she just wants to feel the cold breeze on her skin, or admire the peaceful quiet the night brings.

on one of these dark nights she finds a girl, she lay bare and unconscious on the ground, her shallow breathing being the only indication she's even alive. blondie quickly wakes the girl, she's heard the dark news stories of young women who get taken to private locations, assaulted and left for dead by their attackers. when the girl comes to, she looks at blondie with confusion. "can you hear me? are you alright? do you need medical attention?" blondie asks, the girl squints "i can hear you, im fine"

"are you sure? you're laying in the forest naked." the girl looks down at herself and around before letting out a hum " do you know how to get to-" her brows furrow "i need to go back to-" a look of distress washes over her. Blondie raises a brow at the weird behavior "i don't think you're fine, did you bash your head or something?" the girl looks to her with tears in her eyes "i cant remember my home, i don't remember who i am or how i got here" "

During a bout of severe depression, Blondie discovers a strange girl in the forest who claims to have lost her memory. the two team up to try to recover the lost memories and help the lost girl get home, but as they search for any clues, the two grow close. blondie learns to see both life and herself in a different way.

meanwhile as they delve deeper into the mystery things only become more strange, with nonexistent answers and constant dead ends, the lost girl starts to worry she may never know the truth or return home.

[b4kuch1n]

what if I stream tonite. for dragon business

[a-little-bit-poss]

.

[toastsnaffler]

weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<

[endbeginning]

and if i said.... pet.er peve.nsie.....

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

currently spinning an "it's a wonderful life" style 'ted, at his lowest and least confident, sees what would have happened if he never came to richmond' au in my brain that i'll never write

[star-mum]

"comfort for what? HAVING A BODY" you continue to be fucking iconic. like that entire rant had me CLAPPING but that part in particular was just oOOOOMF. that was it so like.... Gar x fat reader where Gar hugs her and his instincts go feral because feeling someone with extra fat on their body ignites his breeding kink?? like his animal brain is like "this is a wife. this is a wife who will bear your children and do it well. this is a plump, healthy body for your children. you're gonna fuck her brains out" and he gets a raging boner in what is supposed to be an innocent hug and has to excuse himself and wants to die of embarrassment and the reader is like INTRIGUED by him from that moment on but then he keeps dodging her and avoiding her because of his personal embarrassment

(set during s2 with a reader who is physically affectionate for no reason and would just give him a random hug)

thoughts?

I had to actually take a break when the words “breeding kink” showed up— LIKE THE GENIUS OF THAT ??? AND ABSOLUTELY HE WOULD AAAAAAAAAAA

Me reading this:

So,,, uhm things got a bit out of hand skskks and I talked way to much as usual so,,,

OKAY— so yes to everything you just said !! I can just SEE everyone’s in one the common areas (maybe a post training snack or breakfast, let’s say breakfast 🥴) and Gar’s standing with his back to the door talking to the rest of the group as the coffee machine does it’s thing and reader just walks up to them, greets everyone good morning and hugs Gar from the back, maybe rests her head either on his arm/shoulder so she can join the conversation OR on his back cause she’s just so tired and he just MALFUNCTIONS !!!

Everyone is still in pijamas and she’s not really wearing a bra, so he can feel her chest pressed up against him and hOMEBOY’S DOING FUCKING BREATHING EXERCISES IN HIS HEAD TO CALM HIMSELF DOWN !!! Whoever he was talking to — probs Rachel — goes “you,,, okay dude ?? you look,,, very intense in the face” and he freaks out, not thinking on an excuse quick enough and just BOUNCES “what?! 😧 Uhh yeah yeah im good,,, i just have to,,, i have to go now”

Also not to, once again, pull up my brazilian card BUT we have a habit of greeting people with a hug and a kiss on the cheek — it can be a real like kiss on the cheek or that like fake one sksksk where you touch the side of their face with your face and make a kiss noise KSKSKS most common to do that actually — my friends and I see each other every night in college but we still greet each other like that every time and less cause it’s the “polite thing to do” and more cause its a way to show we like each other and we’re close

SO— in my head, reader — who’s me cause,,,, who the hell else would she be sksksks — does that every morning. It’s a habit !! And when she asked the team if it would make them uncomfortable, to greet them like that, they said no !! So everyone’s getting a hug when she sees them, specially like the ones who don’t live in the tower the whole time !

And that’s fun in TWO different ways CAUSE

1. Gar really likes it and gets all weird about it later, cause the more times he gets turned on by her touching, the more innocent touches start making it happen too

2. POSSESSIVE ANIMAL INSTINCT BABY !!!! I hate — not really — to bring them into this BUT i feel like the ones who’d make Gar the more jealous of are -> Jason and Hank (stop rolling your eyes I have a nom biased explanation KSKSKSKS)

Jason is more of a logical jealousy, he’s hot, he’s their age AND he’s a major flirt/fuck boy sksksk even if it’s in jest or a friendly flirting when Reader hugs him or touches him, he’s still gonna say some bullshit like “i know im hot babe, but you really gotta stop touching me like in front of everyone” or “can’t keep your hands off me huh?” I desire him carnally

Hank is more of a — Absolutely One Sided — physical/animal instinct thing for suuuure. Like out of all the guys, he’s definitely an the closest thing we have to a Natural Alpha, he’s big, he’s strong, he’s agressive and dominant (not sexually but how he holds himself around other ppl) and Gar would just FEEL some sort of anger and jealousy when he sees Reader giving Hank any type of attention, even tho he KNOWS nothing’s ever going to happen (cause 1. Hanks not a fucking predator and 2. He’s very clearly with Dawn) — it definitely would NOT help if Reader let slip something about finding Hank hot/attractive, during a forced teens game night maybe? KSSKKSKS

She’d know RIGHT AWAY something’s off with Gar — cause she swears she saw his eyes turn green after a particularly Fuck Boy-ish quip got Jason a little slap on his arm/chest — he’s both avoiding her like the plague but also ALWAYS standing very close to her in social situations — on the off chance she holds onto him — so she’d up the antee completely -> push him til he breaks

And oh boy does he ever 🥵 Breeding Kink Gar is just supreme, I am not sorry

like I have personally a very clear stance about not wanting kids AND not wanting to experience pregnancy BUT IN FICTION ????? GIVE ME THE BREEDING KINK !! GIVE ME THE GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING KIDS !! THERE IS NO CONSEQUENCES TO MY ACTIONS !!!! LETS FUCKING GOOOO

[dandyshucks]

praying that this one artist i watch livestream doesn't ever look at my chat history bc i feel like I look really weird through it 😭 I have immense anxiety among other issues so I'll usually only manage to work up the nerve to send One (1) random msg in chat at some point during a stream and then immediately feel like I have done smth terribly wrong (even if I am just agreeing with everyone else in chat ???) and not be able to send anything else the entire rest of the stream

so my message history would just be like... one completely random comment per stream and nothing else and I feel like that probably looks really really strange fjfkdl

[taikk0]

JUST SAYING ONCE I LEARN TO PRONOUNCE MY T'S PROPERLY ITS OVER FOR YOU BUTTNUGGETS

[pirateborn-a]

     Screw it      finals are OVER,,,,,      going to pass out for like 12 hours and then try to catch up on things n figure out what to do here---

[anxiously-awaiting]

<- spoiled myself about something morgan related and actually i hate it a lot and i am Promptly ignoring it

[sammyloomis]

attempt to draw uni work met with extreme hatred and self percieved failure, 4 dead 17 injured