#idk ive been on my own in the house for a while. and my two friends came back for 20 minutes this morning so one of them could pack up more
someone tell me to go outside pls
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nothing makes me feel quite as behind and childish and juvenile as meeting from time to time with my college friends and it's. so embarrassing
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it's just me and my Homegoods' autumn leaf print in black microfiber blanket against the world
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I’m in love with your writing like omg🩷could i request what kind of lovers are Dazai, tecchou and Nikolai?
(english is not my mother tongue so i dont mean cheat btw…)
IVE BEEN WANTING TO GET TO THIS ASK FOR A WHILE BUT I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK AND AAAAAA
I have SO many headcannons about these fools oh lord. Also hoping I got what you meant cuz I won't lie I am a bit SILLY.
Headcannons: what kind of lovers are they? Dazai, Tecchou, Nikolai
Dazai
He sees his own misery inside of you, which he thinks is romantic. He thinks its beautiful that the two of you can understand each other's suffering in a way no one else can.
I don't think I need to state that while this is romantic in a literary sense, it's a major red flag
Dude would 100% want to do things that he thinks are "romantic" for couples to do together.
For example - murder-suicide, robbing stores together, double-suicide, arson, planning each other's funerals-
Man has a sick sense of romance and death
But he can be romantic!! Sometimes.
Despite being young he knows how to actually take care of his lover - at least in technicality
What he really enjoys, however, he has to suppress
That cold cold sick heart of his wants to isolate them, keep them away from everyone - but he knows that isn't really a human thing to do
So the type of lover he really is the kind of guy who can really only bond over either sex or when you're drunk/sad over the past
dude wouldn't even be able to have sex without crying or would have to do it in the dark, like he just gets too emotional and insecure
100% obsesses over your own trauma and will take any time he can to talk about it - but never his own
sorry dude has red flags ALL over in my mind, I just don't think he would do happy stuff because he would think it's very fake
He can't enjoy any happy occasion, especially dates
definitely thinks weed, deftones, and sex is a good date
Don't date this man if you try to break up with him he will come to your doorstep whimpering and crying telling you that he's gonna kill himself and that you're the only one for him even though he cheated on you
he just strikes me as a messy kind of person
Tecchou
Wants to be your hero. He knows your strong - but he wants to be strong for you. You deserve to be protected from the dangers of the world.
He believes in justice and is a MASSIVE dweeb for "playing the hero"
Man has good intentions that are EXTREME
So yea, he is a bit of an extreme lover
If he can, he'll protect you from anything. It's just his thing
He will try to eradicate all of your fears. Scared of the dark? Your house is brighter than the sun. Scared of bugs? sad, but he will chase them away.
Does this mean he's good at romance? Not really. He'll do anything you tell him too though
Literally anything. Almost. He wouldn't kill someone, but yea that man would 100% try a lot of weird and freaky shit.
would also not care if you weren't into sex. pretty sure that if he likes someone he is just LOYAL lol
although tbh he doesn't strike me as the horny type he just is too dedicated to his job like I'd give it 20/80
idk if he's a freak either like he's probably seen some weird nasty shit so he either is the most vanilla man to walk this earth or is into some weird ass shit.
(I bet it's cake sitting or some food shit. He and Ranpo are too similar, they would both be into weird food shit)
ANYWAY Tecchou is one of those guys who would do cute shit like open the door for his partner everywhere and hold their bags
It's very sweet. Bro 100% lifts.
probably calls while at work which is terrifying and horrible cause you'll hear gunfire but he'll pretend it's normal
Man is also technically property of the state so just know that if you're in a relationship with him you will always have someone stalking you, as you are now a threat to national security
but it's worth it for Tecchou <3
also, he has a huge bank account I bet but would buy either useless gifts or upgrade everything his partner owns cuz he probably only wears his military uniforms and compression shirts.
What's he gonna spend his money on, really?
Nikolai
The world is cruel and predictable, especially with people like him. He hates someone having control over him, so he would only love someone if he chose to - which is fickle at best.
AHHHH omg he's so hard to pin down because Nikolai 100% would be the worst person to have as a lover (jk)
Hot and Cold by Katy Perry esq
Like, 100% if he loves them he LOVES them but if he hates them? he HATES them
but I don't think he really changes his emotions that much, he's sensitive but not so drastically
Definitely is an interesting person to love - would do crazy and weird shit for his lover
doesn't do normal dates. he's a magician, everything is a trick with him
probably gives riddles and doesn't wait for them to be solved - they just lead up to silly dates or gifts. The gifts are probably tame like a drink they like or like, flowers. Maybe some random fingers if he saw that a server was rude.
Does the bottle up his ass trick a lot. or says "do you like magic in bed?" and then never pulls his pants down he just shows every single magic trick he knows.
Listen. that man is WAITING for an audience he will take any chance he can. He'll even pull out some tricks while in the middle of doing it. Let him show you his magic tricks, he practices very hard on some of them.
ranking him as the type to be an exhibitionist and a bit of a freak - how much? idk but he has his coat so who knows what kind of stuff he has on him.
also don't get into a philosophical convo with him this guy will start to talk all sorts of crazy
or political
unless ofc there's common ground then CONGRATS
also I feel like he would be a gentleman. Would probably bring his lover flowers and shit.
once brought oranges though. never explained why.
sorry about the NSFW but I needed the giggles. I did in fact giggle
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i feel like alba taking bambi is a bit extreme. hear me out! like yes ofc caring for one kid more than the other is bad!! but with the whole ale forgetting bambi at daycare it’s like what parent hasn’t forgot to pick up their kid once. like does that make sense like i feel like especially because it happend only once and she was at her job when she forgot that shouldn’t warrant alba legit taking her daughter away from her? like it just wasnt THAT big of a deal like ofc it’s not good but i think alba is reacting a bit over the top about it. idk maybe my perspective is different, but what do you think? id love to hear your opinion as the writer
I don't think you guys understand just how much I love answering these kinds of asks. Also, sorry in advance because this is going to be a lot of psych ramble but genuinely parent-child relationships and their impacts are actually so fascinating to me
So, the whole Alexia forgetting Bambi thing would be a big escalation if that was the only reason Alba had for removing Bambi from her home. It looks like the only reason but there were a lot of other things that Alba would have noticed when she got Bambi from nursery.
So, first of all, what Alexia's been doing is emotional neglect. Compared to other forms of neglect, emotional neglect is one of the harder ones to recognise because it's not as obvious as something like physical neglect.
The signs are very subtle and it's difficult to notice if you're not a child's primary caregiver.
From Bambi's perspective, she's been shoved to the side a bit since Jaume was born. She was never really close to Olga so she can cope with that in a sense (not that she should have to) but Alexia's disregard for her definitely hits hard.
It's a lot of little things built up onto each other. In Injured IV, when Alexia comes home she immediately greets Olga and Jaume but doesn't even spare Bambi a look. Bambi stays under that coffee table for quite a while in the hope that Alexia will notice she's not there and look for her but she never does.
She also mentions when Jaume isn't 'being good' then she doesn't get things like a bedtime story or cuddles at bed which is essentially her equating Jaume crying with the fact that Alexia yet again forgetting about her and that his needs trump her own.
There's also the fact that all of Bambi's individual pictures have been changed to ones of her and Jaume which leads to her thinking that she's only worth anything if her brother is attached to it. Similarly, all of the pictures she drew have been taken off the fridge in favour of a photo of Olga, Alexia and Jaume. Even when she lets Alba put her drawing up in Injured IV, she places it on the side of the fridge where it won't be seen as clearly.
Bambi also learnt how to cry quietly. When Kids are younger they can't communicate their feelings properly and crying loudly gets the attention of a caregiver so they can receive comfort. Bambi's learnt to cry quietly because she knows that no one will come to give her comfort if Jaume is also crying even though there are two adults in the house, one for each of them.
Emotional neglect really builds on a child as young as Bambi and causes effects like low self-esteem, depression and anxiety and in more extreme cases failure to thrive and Bambi, sadly, is on track for all of them.
Now, that's all from Bambi's perspective and, of course, Alba can't know all of that because she's not Bambi's primary caregiver.
She can only go off on what she can see. What she knows for sure, at first, is that Alexia and Olga have both forgotten Bambi.
That isn't what makes her take Bambi though.
She gets a notification from the Barca account saying that they're meeting their youngest teammate and it's got a picture of Alexia, Olga and Jaume so it's not like both of them were super busy and that's why they forgot Bambi.
There's also the change in routine that Bambi mentions. She used to get a new train every week and when Alba mentions that, she finds out that Bambi hasn't received a new train in weeks (more like months) which is a massive deviation from an established routine.
There's also the celebration they watch on tv with Alexia winning the Copa de la Reina and all those pictures of her with Jaume and the cup and there's no hint at all that she realises Bambi isn't there with her.
There's obviously Bambi's reaction to that too and her tearing up the picture because she doesn't think it's real (bearing in mind that it's a picture of her, Alexia, Olga and Jaume as a family).
It's clear to Alba that something is going on and Bambi isn't doing well because she's been in such a sad mood since she picked her up and then Bambi hides herself away in her room and Alba can't get the door open.
It's a pretty big emotional outburst from Bambi and quite out of character to how she had been previously.
Honestly, everything is out of character from what Alba previously knows - both Alexia and Bambi and it's enough for her to think that perhaps the two need to be separated.
The anger from Injured IV comes in because it's been hours since the final ended and Bambi hid herself away compared to when Alexia, Olga and Jaume come home.
Throughout that entire time, Bambi wasn't even a thought. Alexia didn't even realise Bambi had been left at nursery until she got home which is hours after Alba had to cancel her own plans to get Bambi.
The anger probably escalated the situation a bit more than it needed to but Alba had hours to stew and piece everything together so Bambi's removal from Alexia was warranted once she'd put it all together.
That's all from Inured IV, not onto Injured V:
So childhood emotional neglect is especially impactful the younger a child is. Bambi is around 4 and she's at that age where she's beginning to understand her own and others emotions. Having a stable caregiver to help her work through this is crucial and she doesn't have that so there's a big chance that she'll be developmentally delayed because of it.
This, of course, could lead to big impacts down the road when she goes to school and makes friends and even when she gets older and develops adult relationships.
She's already got low self-worth and is trying to be too independent at too young an age because to her, nobody wants to pay attention to her.
In Injured V, she actually flinches away from Alexia when she tries to grab her because she's now used to being ignored by her mother and having Alexia suddenly wanting her is overwhelming and strange.
It's seen in Injured V how different Bambi is in Alexia's home vs Alba's home when she's genuinely excited to show Alba the picture she made because she's still in her developmental stage and is still able to adapt and come back from this - at least in a way that will have minimal impact on her emotional development and regulation.
Of course, we also find out that Bambi at least suspects that she wasn't as planned as previously thought. She knows Jaume was definitely planned but she's slowly finding out that she wasn't so that's another hit to her confidence. She equates how Jaume is being treated to him being wanted and how she's being treated to her not being wanted.
When Eli comes and all of this comes out, it's clear that this is deep rooted stuff.
As I said previously, emotional neglect is one of the forms of neglects that's hardest to notice. Alba has no way of knowing just how long this has been going on for and just how close this is to having extremely detrimental effects to Bambi's emotional development.
The low self-esteem is already there. She's nervous at the thought of seeing Alexia, Olga and Jaume so there's some anxiety setting in too. For all Alba knows, the depression could be next and if she had left Bambi there, the potential of failure to thrive is quite high too.
So, honestly, Alba removing Bambi was probably the best way to do it. With Bambi with Alba, she would know how she was doing and even if she had left Bambi there and explained what was happening to Alexia, there was always a chance that it could regress back to the neglect again even if Alexia promised to work on it.
Honestly, the standard practice for suspected emotional neglect should be to report it to child services so Alba is actually doing Alexia a favour by not getting them involved.
But, yeah, this is really long but those are essentially the thought processes of everyone 🤷♀️
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ok ok I just had a request idea if you don't mind--
gepard with a fem (but I don't mind gn) reader who is good at drawing
idk it just seems so silly in my head because of the wanted posters he made 😭
but anyways, tysm in advance and remember to take a break when needed!
↳ pairing(s) : gepard x gender neutral reader
↳ synopsis : request ♡
↳ authors note : hi guys its me (ive been dead for so long) (it will happen again) (sorry about that) (i ate a banana this morning)
You loved art with all your heart, your apartment was full of paintings and drawings you had made over the years and happily pride yourself on your skill.
So when you were on your usual stroll, and pass by a rather.. poorly drawn wanted poster. Those messy squiggly outline and poor form of coloring couldn't have been anyone else.
Walking into your boyfriends apartment, he's not surprised to see you carrying your bag of art supplies inside and plopping it onto a table. Of course, he was more than aware for your passion with the arts (while also finding it very cute) and figured you were just going to his place again to paint.
And so when you gave him an all too familiar glare, the blonde could only laugh nervously as you pull him into the living room and away from the kitchen.
"Gepard Landau." You state, as if a strict parent about to give a four hour long lecture. "..Pfft.. What are these drawings?" The facade breaks and laughter fills the room, not one filled with ill intent or mockery just.. a genuine question with a bit of laughs. Gepard could tell you had nothing critical or rude behind those words, so he smiles at your laugh. Not minding the topic at hand and simply admiring your adorable giggles of joy.
You sit over on his left, a reference photo in hand and two sheets of paper. "It's been 2 years of us together, and in those two years I've given you several art lessons.. you can't even color within the lines?" You chuckle, beginning to sketch as Gepard already knew to follow your steps.
But maybe there's a little white lie in the air, maybe the middle child of the Landau family was in fact a great artist, it wasn't particularly out of character considering the extra classes from private tutors.
Maybe Gepard liked to watch you and your passions, perhaps enough to fake his skills with the arts just so you can come over to his house again and again and show him the skills he knows he's far too talented at for his own good.
Oh well, never hurt to lie if it was in the best interest of the both of you. You get to share your passion, Gepard gets to have his heart race as he watches you do so.
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i saw the collection of art displayed at the gallery nucleus event and ive been obsessed with these two pictures since so here are some details i noticed:
luz and eda are both wearing that grudgeby jacket, obviously.
Eda’s jacket has a patch on the left elbow when eda is wearing it. this was shown in the show as well. luz’s left elbow isn’t shown but we can assume the patch is still there.
luz, however, has a patch on her right elbow, which was where she tore the sleeve during the belos fight in king’s tide. we can assume hunter probably patched it up.
lilith and eda seem to have discovered their fashion taste in their teens and stuck with it to this day. lilith is in a similar long skirt and boots to what she wears in the show, and eda has the spiky/torn style dress look. guess she later decided to wear similar shoes to lilith though.
speaking of shoes though raine honey what are you wearing,,,, are those ,,,shoelaces tied around your socks??? that can’t be comfortable or easy to get on/off,,,was this a fashion trend in their time???
gus’s shirt looks like it was two different shirts sewn into one shirt. i assume hunter did that for him too
gus is also still wearing two watches on one wrist and probably wearing the third on his other. boi’s got drip
vee’s got an anklet. I wonder if this is an allusion to the ring on her tail in her basilisk form?
luz has the portal key and a king-shaped keychain on her belt. does that mean they’ll end the show with her having a new portal so she can live in both worlds? that seems to be what the show is building towards
amity’s hair faded in season 3 and her roots were growing back but i think in here she redyed her hair to be a bright pink like before? i definitely don’t see her roots anymore. similarly i think willow has just been consistently dyeing that green streak
darius’s cape looks a lot like the golden guard’s. or just the emperor coven’s cape in general. his boots also look like the standard issue EC uniform ones. in fact, his whole outfit looks like a more casual emperor coven uniform. this adds fuel to my theory that he was being mentored by the golden guard to join the emperor’s coven, and when his mentor died, it shattered his trust in the EC which led to him joining the abomination coven instead. (why else would you get one of the top ranking officials of the emperor coven to mentor you, if not to join the coven itself?)
lilith and vee both have cute stylized backpacks and perry has a fanny pack, all of them shaped like demons. vee’s backpack is shaped like her (with a matching hoodie i think?), and because of the visible stitches, i will once again assume hunter made it for her. i will assume hunter did everything sewing-related for the hexsquad. love is stored in the hunter sewing project
in contrast to lilith, perry, and vee, alador’s bag is plain and practical. idk what this says about the characterization of these four but im sure it says something
everyone in the old hexsquad has their own style but alador is in his hexside uniform. again, very practical but he doesn’t seem to care enough about appearance (or hygiene considering he’s covered in abomination goo) to pursue anything beyond practicality
eda’s knee is scraped up. while this and the bandage on her face are probably supposed to indicate that she gets up to trouble a lot id like to think it’s also referencing the pain sharing spell she and lilith did in that scene of them as kids
hunter DEFINITELY did not dress himself those shoes are way too snazzy. darius sees him trying to leave the house in socks and sandals and has an aneurysm
ppl mentioned how willow’s wearing an emerald entrails shirt but also! she has painted nails! i’d like to think amity painted them for her. first amity does her braids and now she paints her nails she is rekindling their friendship one makeover at a time
hunter wears glasses now. i guess after like 8 head injuries, a possession, and two eye color changes he’d have some trouble with his eyesight.
willow has discovered novelty glasses. she seems to be seeing fine so i assume they’re also prescription glasses, which is harder to get in cool shapes. did they get those in the human world or did the boiling isles already have them? or better, after the show they introduce the concept of novelty glasses to the boiling isles. i’d like to think gus gets his dad a pair in that scenario. and eda gets raine a pair
hunter’s jacket has so many references on it to his new family i- 🥺 🥺 🥺 he has a wing patch for flapjack, an abomination with a ponytail for darius, a king patch for king (let them interact in the rest of season 3!!! please!!!), what seems to be the badge eda gives people for leaving their covens, and a flower probably for willow. seemingly no patches for luz, gus, amity, or vee. or the emerald entrails. though he could have more patches on the front of his jacket.
trans hunter real
luz’s hairstyle with the front bangs swept back looks a lot like eda’s hairstyle but curlier. probably just the widow’s peak though
hunter is still rocking that mullet. i know even if they change his hair in a later episode they won’t spoil it in the art here. still even though i know why hunter didn’t want long hair i liked his longer hair + hair skrungly design better than his short hair design
the new hexsquad is dressed in a significantly more human style than the old hexsquad. seeing how luz has a portal key (idk if its real or just a charm), amity retouched her roots, and hunter has a jacket of patches referencing his 86 adopted family members, i would assume this shot of them is post-canon. guess luz takes her friends on another trip to the thrift store
(i know this specific scene where the new and old hexsquad check each other out is impossible temporally within canon what i mean is the hexsquad’s look is most likely something they’ll whip up post canon than during canon)
willows pants have similar flowers on it as the flower patch on hunter’s jacket. the vine design and stitching around the flowers probably mean that they just came with a flower design when willow got it. however i headcanon that willow got hunter a bunch of flower shaped patches and he put one on his jacket. but later willow got a pair of those fashionably ripped jeans and left them somewhere where hunter found it. and when willow gets back hunter has used the rest of his his flower patches to patch up the rips in willows pants and sewed some stitching around the patches to make them look prettier. because he doesn’t understand why someone would wear ripped jeans on purpose. it’s like that one textpost with luz except it’s with willow. she can’t even be mad at him.
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daddy kink
[ OCTOBER 27TH ] TOJI FUSHIGURO x fem! reader (step-dad au)
synopsis; you had wanted to trick or treat with your whole family but your mom was busy on halloween night. so instead you were stuck trick or treating with your step dad.
wk; 3k
warnings; mdni, smut 18+, heavy smut, dark content, daddy kink, pseudo-incest, age gaps, pet-names, public sex, unprotected sex, fingering, enemies-to-lovers, jealous! toji, over protective! toji, dirty talk, beta read!
notes; so i changed the layout a wee bit, but this is by far my fav fic i think ive written. idk its my style aesthetic and i love her lol. also toji is one of my favs cuz he is so fine so enjoy bbys. pls remember to unhide mature posts in tumblr settings and comment, like and reblog!
-nav : kinktober m.list : kinktober taglist
“so i’m thinking we’ll hit up the neighbors house, then maybe go egg some houses.”
your mother raised her brow with a glare.
“then we can come back home and eat all our candy while watching spoooooky movies,” you moved your fingers in a scary way. “that’s the plan. so what are you going to wear this year?”
“actually, honey. i’m not going.”
“what?” your mouth widened in shock. you were looking forward to this day for a whole year. “but you had your whole outfit picked out and everything.”
your mother rolled her eyes, annoyed, “i know. look, it’s not like i chose to not go. they have me wanting to come in for another shift.”
you were texting on your phone, pissed. “then tell them no. literally i got this day off for this, so can you.”
“it’s not that simple. i don’t know why you can’t do anything on your own? i already told you i tried, enough, what do you want from me?”
“you never hang out with me anymore,” you pouted. “it’s always work or that man.”
your mother snapped at your face, “watch yourself. that is your step-father.”
“he is nothing to me,” you crossed your arms. “he is just a dude you’ve been with for a while that stays at our house.”
“i want you to respect him, y/n. he is a good man.”
footsteps boomed down the stairs. there he was. the man that was with your mother for almost 2 years now. toji fushiguro. it looked as if he had just come out of the shower. he was wearing gray sweatpants without a shirt and his hair dripped on his shoulders. “hey baby,” his voice was raspy as he kissed your mom.
“jesus fucking christ. put on a shirt dude.” you shouldered him as you walked by.
“y/n!” your mom shouted.
you saw in your peripheral vision toji’s face darkened in anger. but you didn’t care if he was angry. he could suck it!
“what mom? i’m being a good girl.” you slid over your couch and laid there, upside down, texting on your phone, trying to make late plans. “maybe i’ll ask my friend if i can go to a party. aye, that’ll do it. i can go get wasted.” you chuckled.
you knew your mother was probably rubbing her temple and your ‘step-father’ was consoling her. he literally made you want to vomit. he made you angry and his presence was a nuisance to you.
“y/n, you know how we feel about you going to those parties. besides i don’t really like your friends,” toji crossed his arms. he had a way of making your mother think exactly like him. even if she was half on your side and thinking she would immediately turn her morals to his. your mother treated your step-father as if he was all knowing. she listened and did everything he told her. it bothered you so much.
you jumped up from the couch and made your way to toji’s huge form. he was humongous, broad shoulders, muscles galore, he almost touched your house's ceiling. he was a huge man. that didn’t intimidate you one bit. “you can’t tell me what to do. this is my house, my mom, and my life.”
toji smirked, “that’s true but i also am your step-father.” he took one step closer to you. the air shifting between you two. his arms were crossed over his chest. you never realized how thick he was on his chest area. they literally protruded under his arms. still, even with his size, you didn’t want him to think he won.
“i know who you really are. you can’t fool me. and you will never be my father,” you uttered the words so that only you and toji could hear. you thought that would break him but instead it grew a gleam in his eyes. something shined within him that made him break the smirk into a toothy grin. he was playing your game. “whatever. i’ll just call megumi and hang out with him. we’ll go trick-or-treating.”
“megumi texted me. he’s going with yuji itadori actually. so, it looks like it’s just you and me sweetheart.” toji winked.
you threw your hands up in the air frustrated.
“yay,” your mom clapped her hands, “daddy and daughter time.”
you went upstairs and got changed in your ballerina costume. maybe you could separate from him and hang out with your friends. this was supposed to be a family gathering but of course, your mother had to ruin it.
you came downstairs and as you came down you noticed your mom was gone and instead toji sat on the couch. something was different with him. “you done?” he called out.
you stood at the top of the stairs, waiting for him to turn around. he stood up and turned and you knew that something was different. you felt different with your step-dad. toji smirked as he showed up in a nightwing costume. each muscle outlined, his hair disheveled, and he was wearing the eye mask. he leaned against the couch, you couldn't help it but divert your eyes to his cock. it was outlined as well, and…huge. you gulped. “wow you look-”
“cool?” he slowly walked over to the end of the stairs. “not so boring?” his eyes slowly made their way from your legs up to your face. “ballerina?”
you did your makeup pink themed and you wore a cute gloss over your lips. your lips were pursed out, all innocent looking. you were all pink and girly. super feminine. even painting your nails red. you wore a pink leotard with a sheer pink skirt. the leotard was tight, showing all your curves and ass. you looked like a cake topper, a cute pink macaroon. any man would want to take a bite.
“sweetheart, you look so beautiful. so perfect, delicate.” he whispered as his hands traveled up your legs. you didn’t have a snappy comeback. instead he made you flustered. his eyes held some kind of villainy within him. his neck curved, his adam's apple bobbing up and down as he stared up at you as if you were an angel. he looked guilty and wanting at the same time. his eyes were half-lidded. you noticed the way he sniffed the air, sniffing you. his big, calloused hands looked so gigantic against your legs, covering your entire calf as he rubbed it lightly and squeezed it gently. “you ready?” his voice was hoarse.
you covered your face, wanting to hide your emotions and feelings. you were only human. “yeah, whatever. let’s just get this over with, old man.” you pushed him aside as you walked in front of him. you realized he was staring at your ass.
what was wrong with your step-father? he was your mother’s boyfriend! and yet why did you feel dirty? why did you feel that if something happened today you would let him do whatever he wanted to you? why did you want him to do something to you? why was he acting this way all of a sudden?
everyone was out. the night was young as so many families walked around the neighborhood in their costumes, wanting candy. you knew the town, knew the houses, the streets so you walked around like you knew everyone, it was true you did. toji looked at you with pride. the way you walked around, not afraid, acting like you were the main character. a part of him was irked by your rudeness but also he couldn't help but stare at you. he couldn’t help but be attracted to you.
“let’s pause here,” you said. you had put a spray around your hair and neck that was sparkles. it twinkled in the moonlight. this caught toji’s attention. you smelled like vanilla and looked like a diamond. all your sparkles catching his eye. you whipped your phone out and leaned your head against toji’s shoulder. “let’s take a selfie and send it to mom. she wants one.” you lied through your teeth. you looked away as you said this lie.
toji grinned evilly. “mom? or more like you?” his face dipped to your height. he pushed you against a fence, caging your small body with his. you winced, finally breaking, he was winning. your tiny hands pressed against his chest, strong and plump. you were hot. toji was pinning you against the fence. his face was only centimeters away from yours. “c’mon baby. you can tell daddy the truth.”
“i-i-it’s. okay fine. doesn’t matter. mom will like it.” you shouted, hiding your face. you were never bashful or shy! why were you becoming like this? he made you this way!
“okay, let’s send her a selfie.” toji all of a sudden picked you up, arm under your ass as his big hands gripped your plump thighs. “what the fuck?” your body was placed on his shoulder. the sides of your leotard rising higher from the movement. your heart was beating faster than ever before. “toji, what are you doing-”
“toji? angel, i’m your step-father. call me daddy.”
you gulped, “f-fine. what are you doing, daddy?” you felt the heat rush to your cheeks. you also felt wetness down at the name.
“i’m taking a picture with my sweet baby girl. alright, say cheese!”
you hated him. hated him more than ever in this moment. he was playing with you and your mom. he was messing with your mind. you knew it wasn’t because he actually liked you, it was because he wanted to get back at you for earlier. “n-no! i don’t have to listen to you.” you crossed your arms. the side of your ass was pressed next to toji’s face. toji raised his brow and shook his head, “good girls listen.” his mouth then turned to bite a piece of your ass peeking from the leotard. it was a light bite and then his tongue peaked out and licked the bite. “c’mon, smile.”
you jumped but was held still by toji. “toji-i mean, daddy!” your step-father just bit your ass. and you liked it. you liked it so much. you wiggled on his shoulder. finally, you smiled and toji took the selfie. he came out so attractive. his jawline was prominent in the photo, he looked like a model. his smirk making his scar above his lip prominent. you were wide eyed looking innocent in the camera. more from what toji just did seconds ago and from where you were seated. toji carried you like you weighed nothing.
he put you back down and you felt dizzy from everything. what were you feeling? “send me that picture,” toji’s hands landed on your shoulder then traveled up to around your neck, caressing your skin there. “i think you look so beautiful in it.”
why were you so quiet? you decided, toji wasn’t going to win. you were going to give him a taste of his own medicine.
you both went to a door. you knew who lived there. it was a guy that you knew had a crush on you from when you both were in high school. of course, you never liked him but you wanted toji to realize you didn’t care about him and his actions.
toji knocked the door for you. he was behind you most of the day, keeping an eye out since it was night. you weren’t going to lie, you did like how protective he was over you. you felt safe with him. he always had a shoulder wrapped around you or his hand on you to make sure you were always with him. always standing behind you, close by, so close you can smell his cologne.
“thank you daddy.” you smiled wide. excited for what was gonna happen. the door opened and low and behold it was the guy that had a crush on you.
“y/n? wow, welcome! damn, you look good.” he eyed you up and down. you felt a hand on your shoulder. it was toji’s and it was tightening around you. you looked up behind you and saw his face. if looks could kill! he looked so scary! he wore a scowl and his eyes were dark, full of anger.
you rolled your eyes and popped your butt out to the side, placing your hands on your hips, posing. “you think so baby? aww thank you, love!”
the guy leaned against the door frame, coming closer to you. toji pulled you back so you fell back against his chest. “i’m her boyfriend.”
“wh-what?” you were about to fight toji. trying to turn around to protest but toji held you in place. “so, back off.” he threatened with a glare.
the guy backed off, throwing his hands up, surrendering. “damn, sorry man. i didn’t know. well, here’s some candy. enjoy your trick or treat y/n.”
you rolled your eyes and said a quiet “thank you.” you bent down to pick up the candy in the plastic jack o'lantern bucket. you noticed the guy backed away to look at your breasts almost spilling over. you knew toji would not like it. you heard toji grumble in the back of you. but you also noticed that when you bent over your ass by accidently grazed against toji’s dick, you felt it was hard! “c’mon baby. let’s go.” he grabbed your arm, dragging you away.
you both walked without saying a word. most of the streets were empty, people heading home. toji acted weird, walking in front of you this time, which was something he didn’t do this whole time.
“daddy?” you called out to him.
“i can’t believe how you acted. the way he looked at you.” you saw toji rub his temple and bang the fence beside him with his fist.
“it wasn’t my fault! he was the one all up on me. i was an innocent bystander. what was with the whole, oh i’m her boyfriend?” you imitated him.
toji turned around, anger evident on his face. “sweetheart, i saw the way he looked at you, daddy knows that look. when a man wants to ravage a sweet girl. the way he looked at you made me so angry, so disgusted.” toji’s jaw clenched. “if i said i was your boyfriend, i knew he would leave you alone.”
you were so done. you shook your head and resumed to walk, wanting to be ahead of him and by yourself. you shoved against him, “whatever. i can’t stand you! i try to like you! try to give you a chance! you think you can play with my feelings and emotions. the way i feel!”
toji grabbed you and picked you up to press you against the fence, like earlier. caging your body.
“not again with this!” you tried to push him away from you.
toji clenched the sides of your head and dipped his head to press his feverishly lips against yours. the kiss was passionate, heated. the smacking of lips. you tried to not move your mouth but you couldn't help it. you needed to kiss him. you wrapped your tiny arms, compared to his, around his head to deepen the kiss.
“daddy, i want you.” you moaned in the kiss.
“i know baby. i know.” his tongue dragged into your mouth. fighting with your tongue. both breaths hot. moaning and groaning. teeth gnashing. your fingers tangled themselves in his hair. your body was automatically attracted to his, wanting to be pressed against him.
“we shouldn't do this.” you said.
“i know.” toji agreed. but then his lips went to your neck. you suck in the air as his plump lips touched the vein on your neck. he could feel your pulse, how rapid it was. you were excited. you wanted this so bad now.
“you know i hate you so much,” you pushed toji’s head closer so he was licking all your neck.
“i never hated you. i’ve tried to fight this feeling. but you are so stubborn, such a bad girl.”
you dragged his head back to your lips. you bit his lip. the flesh between your teeth as you dragged it out. eyes directly on his.
toji picked you up, desperately, his hands under your ass, groping and squeezing your flesh. “you in this outfit. fuck. you really were testing me baby. daddy wanted to fuck you really bad.”
you grinded on his hands. loving how thick they were and veiny. he was very handsome as much as you hated him. “please daddy, fuck me. make me yours.” your eyes were innocent.
toji finally ripped his eye mask off, so his face was plain. you wanted to see his real, raw emotions while he fucked you. he held you with one hand, kissing you sloppily, while the other hand was starting to rip your leotard. “daddy, i’m not wearing underwear! everyone is gonna see me.”
“over my dead body,” he growled. “i’ll rip my costume and wrap it around you.” he ripped the fabric of the leotard that covered your pussy.
when it was finally gone, you shivered slightly from the cool october air hitting your wet pussy. “i’m cold.” you pouted.
“don’t worry. daddy, will make you all warm.” toji smirked as his thick fingers slowly touched your cunt. you gasped from the touch then hummed at the feeling. he knew what he was doing. “just like that.”
“baby likes this?”
“i would like it more if it was daddy’s cock.”
toji played with your wetness between his fingers then he lifted the fingers into his mouth. eye contact never leaving as he sucked his fingers dry. “wow, sweetheart. you taste so delicious. does this pussy belong to me?”
you nodded, so hot. his fingers circled your clit, making your legs shake from the nerves. he played with your folds, stretching them slightly. “you ready?”
you looked down at his pent up frustration. it was huge and it wasn’t even uncovered. “yes,” you said low. you were scared. you never fucked someone so big as him.
“don’t worry baby, daddy will go slow for his angel.” he kissed your forehead as he unzipped. he took his swollen cock out. it was super thick, dripping already with need. he saw you that way as well. he was very much attracted to you.
toji lifted your legs over his arms. your pussy wide and displayed for him. “look at that pretty pussy. all for daddy. it is so beautiful.”
he was wet and you were soaked. his cock slid it slowly into you. it was perfect. he fit you like a puzzle piece. it went in, inch by inch. “that’s it. take it.” his breath was shaky. you knew he wanted to fuck you hard, wanting to dive into you. but he took it slow. finally he bottomed out.
“oh my god,” you moaned. moving your hips for him to go fast.
“already baby! i just put it in. you naughty girl.” toji’s hips went back and forward. both of you getting wetter and squelching. skin sticking. “but if that’s what you want, my baby gets what she wants.” suddenly, toji’s hips started going quicker. he was humping up inside your cunt, your juice dripping down his cock.
“yesss right there. fuck! yes daddy! right there daddy!” you hugged onto him. your grip tight. his balls slapped against your cunt. his thick cock was dragging in and out. this was not making love, this was pure, straight up, fucking you. he was feral. biting onto your shoulder.
toji grunted, pounding inside you. nonstop. he was holding you and fucking you. sweat was dripping down his temple. you were pinned against someones fence, being fucked out of your mind. toji kissed you again while he fucked your brains out. loving how you clenched around him. how tight you were.
“god i feel so full, daddy,” you cried.
“that’s okay. take it. take it.” toji noticed how you pulsed around his dick. he loved how every time his cock came peeking out of you it was covered, drenched with your cream. you looked so perfect. so angelic. breathing harshly, trying to take all of him. lips puffy, eyelashes thick with tears from the stimulation. your hair was starting to stick to your skin from the sweat. you looked like his favorite vision. he wanted to remember this moment. paint a picture of you this way. his tongue licked inside your mouth, opened mouths making out. his cock and pounding didn’t stop. it went faster, fervently. needing. it was unstoppable. he was unstoppable. if someone was watching let them. you were worth it. he didn’t care in that moment about your mother, he wanted you. wanted to take you to a lair and fuck you everyday every second. you were his drug.
“daddy, i don’t think i can last longer. i’m gonna cum!”
“go ahead baby. cum for daddy.” he growled as his forehead rested against yours. wanting to see your face. wanting to see how you looked as you took all his seed.
“ahhhhh!” you shook, grasping onto toji’s shoulders.
toji didn’t stop. he loved to feel your goopy-ness drip on his cock. it was warm and felt like a velvet blanket of a waterfall onto him.
“i’m so fucking lucky,” he whispered to you. “shittt, fuck,” he grunted as he finally came. not able to last because your pussy walls pulsed against his shaft, milking him for everything he was worth.
“i love you daddy. thank you daddy, fuck,” you kissed him again. it was sloppy, disgusting. saliva everywhere. but you wanted him to know you were his but if he could be yours.
“i know. i know.” he moaned against your lips. he was still into you and when you both calmed down he slipped out of you. before you could even ask him anything, he ripped his top in half and wrapped it around your hips. he held onto your hand to walk with you but you tripped. you were too weak and held still on the fence.
“i got you.” toji picked you up bridal style. “how bout we cuddle on the couch and watch spooky movies?
your tiny hands touched his face in a feather like touch, “okay. also, i don’t hate you as much.”
toji walked with you cuddled in his arms, he was smirking. “i know.”
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journal/braindump 26/3/24
i hope life gets better soon. school is so miserable and weird and i just constantly feel like my physical shape is blurred and i'm but a a faceless entity drifting through the crowded and sweaty halls. when i speak to people it feels like i have to physically force myself to and i'm always so conscious of the fact that i would really love it if i were alone and not speaking to anybody at all.
i don't feel confident in myself and i feel like this year has passed by way too fast and i feel like just attempting to live feels like a bunch of cold sand is piled in my hands, and like sand does, it slips easily through my fingers and all i can do is watch. i feel so stupid and so naive all the damn time
for a while i had believed that everything would be okay, and then for a while after that i believed that i should kill myself. i'm okay now, i still feel very unsettled and it's like i'm not really me but i feel fine enough to function and i feel fine enough to live and wish to keep on living
i wish to keep on living
tomorrow i will wake up early and i will make myself coffee and i will sit down and read (i've had reading block for 2 days- which seems short but its annoying for me bc i really really want to read but i feel too restless and distracted to). i'll try to be nice to myself and protect my peace really hard and go on walks or something
i find that watching youtube videos where people just sit and talk, or rearrange their house and books, is really calming to me. i can't wait to just sit in front of the tv with a cup of matcha and a box of chocolates and just watching people talk, or watch all the movies ive been meaning to watch for sooo long
autumn is rolling around, and i'm infinitely greatful that it is because i always feel so inspired during this season. autumn makes me want to read, it makes me want to watch more films and eat more food and drink warm drinks that make me feel okay inside.
i also hope to pick up journalling again, but i'm not sure if i will because i don't have my own printer for images and idk what to journal but i have recently tried to just draw pictures- ive recently written journal pages on what i want to read, and also an "about me" page, and hand drew pictures. it's nice, but it doesn't give the same effect as full out journalling (with stickers, images, tape, etc... sigh.). i hope i journal more this holiday nonetheless.
i also hope to read without feeling so much pressure. i usually have no problem with reading whatever i want to read, as i like to think of myself as somebody who isnt easily influenced by other people's views (eg. if someone told me i have to read a certain book, i will consider it but i wont read it unless i want to) , but lately i've been thinking of all the books i want to read this holiday (for me i have autumn break in one week- and autumn break lasts for 2 weeks) and as u can imagine, it is very stressful bc ive somehow fallen into the mindset that i must read ALL of those books before next term or else.
fyi the books comprise of
- the complete collection of jane austen
- the complete collection of sherlock holmes
- the poppy war
- the iliad
- hamlet
- the metamorphosis
soo yeah... especially the first two points are stressing me out haha... im starting the poppy war now but im a little nervous bc ppl keep saying that its VERY gory??? and i usually dont care abt such things but lately my nerves and emotions have been such a wreck that i dont trust myself to read it in a calm manner
i'll try to break free of this toxic reader mindset tho! it would be nice if i could talk to people abt books, so it feels like im engaging with my hobby while not actually having to do the hobby, but nobody ik irl will want to talk abt books as i do
MAN i so badly want to rant abt booktok (ok actually i wont expand on this bc its a very sore point for me in the sense that i might get worked up over it and then feel shit afterwards for displaying sm emotion)
anywaysss next topic
ummm i get my maths result back on thursday and im so fucking scared bc i know i messed up bad for a few questions but im not sure if it was enough to drop me down to a b... idk i REALLY REALLY WANT AN A. like istg my whole self esteem for until the next exams roll around is goijg to be based off my maths result.. fuck im so emotionally immature its laughable
ummm also i have literature class tmr and i love lit class but we have to watch fucking "shes the man" and im sorry but i hate that movie so so much (ive never watched it before but we watched half of it last lesson and it was soo annoying). ughh why is my eng teacher making us watch this 😭😭
also my eng teacher is very blunt and therefore very interesting to talk to so ive been wanting to ask him abt books hes read lately but i CANT bc we have to watch thats tupid fucking movie and also he has to mark papers :( but also like hes the only intellectually stimulating person ik irl so what am i meant to do with all of my buzzing book thoughts ughh (rhetorical question. pls dont answer) :(
hmm what else is there to say
oh yeah last night i had a dream tjat i got a B+ for english and that was... it was like a nightmare im not even kidding. it was such a vivid dream too- everybody else got an A meanwhile i got a B+ (very close to an A) and i was just absolutely shocked and i desperately begged my teacher to give me some extra credit work so i can bump it up to an A-... yeah...
oh but also back to me wanting to have a better life- i think i'll take myself to the thrift more and go out with my friend (yes, singular. theres only one friend that i like hanging out with outside of school 💀) atleast once this holiday... thats what teen girls my age do, right??? haha...
also i want to watch ladybird and the perks of being a wallflower and rewatch little women and dead poets society !
i also might reread solitaire but aghh that makes me stressed out abt reading again... fuck. maybe i should just take a break from reading omfg
i cant wait to wake up early tomorrow and drink coffee though! :)
also i will make more spotify playlists (it makes me rlly happy to) and MAYBE even try cooking????????????? man idfk im desperate okay? feeling suicidal is not fun and i dont want to feel like that again this year. i cant afford thay bc im meant to be an academic weapon :( (lol who am i kidding? im more like an academic victim)
also maybe i will just text my friends more in general. it stresses me out and makes me feel icky but the other day, i had a nice and fun and lighthearted texting convo with one of my class friends and it made me realise that i should probably text people more ...
lol
anyways i think thats all? i think ive gotten everything off my chest for now. i liked doing this actually. maybe i'll do it more often idk 💀💀
hope u guys have a good day 🙏 i dont actually expect anyone to read this but if you did, i hope you have a good day TIMES TWO!
no refunds :}
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orv 🤝 asteroid city
stories about stories that left a surprisingly large impact crater in my brain
anyway some more (frankly far too extensive) thoughts under the cut for an au i dont forsee myself drawing for again (cw: mention of suicidal thoughts and lots of talk about death)
for anyone reading this who hasn't watched asteroid city: it's a movie documenting the making of an in universe fictional play called asteroid city written by conrad earp (kdj) directed by schubert green (hsy) lead actor jones hall (yjh) who plays augie, very emotionally repressed guy whose wife (lsh, kinda) just died and is trying to figure out how to tell his children about it. anyway jones shows up at conrad's house for auditions and the two fall in love, then conrad dies from a car crash 6 months into the shows run and jones is left to play a character mourning the death of his wife while irl mourning the death of his lover and it drives him up a wall trying to figure out if he's doing conrad "right" (hence 'i still don't understand the play')
anyway for this au like everything that happens in the movie also happens i think but the character motivations are a little bit different like in the movie conrad earp writes the play before he ever meets jones hall so we don't really know why it's Like That but i think in the au kdj is either like. having suicidal thoughts or just fully believed he wasn't gonna live for very long in the like cptsd symptom kinda way lmao. so like it's not really that he wrote the play to help yjh process his own death (i think if that were the case the message of the play would be way different lmfao) but it's more like he just had death and grief on the brain and was also writing stuff. and like the answer he arrived at was that he didn't actually arrive at anything in the end. sometimes tragedy just happens and there's no meaning to it you just kinda have to live with that. like i know this is not how the process of play production works but if there's one change to the original movie plot in this au i want to make it's that kdj still dies by car accident but before the script is 100% finished or after he's been talking about rewriting the ending or something because i think he also doesn't figure out an answer he's satisfied with in the end about like death and grief and mourning. like you just know that in kdj's ideal world his loved ones wouldn't mourn him at all if he dies because he doesn't want them to be sad because of him and maybe he still hasn't fully 100% internalised that he has people who would care if he dies. anyway i think yjh kinda understands like subliminally that kdj was trying to Say Something with the play he just isn't sure what because he's looking for An Answer like some kind of meaning to everything that's happened but the point is there isn't one and if there is kdj hasn't found it either lmao. and like i think hsy understood immediately like as soon as she heard the news of his death she's figured out what kdjs thought process behind the play was and like she's absolutely not holding it together as well as she appears but she also sees yjh driving himself insane every night trying to find The Meaning or whatever and like whether or not she even agrees with kdj aside this is the only way she can think of to help him get out of that hole bc she can't exactly tell yjh like 'the point is that there is no point you just have to live with The Everything' so she's just trying her best to make him understand on his own. idk i just need someone who's watched asteroid city to see this and tell me if ive gone completely insane LMAO
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✤------------------------------------------✤
◈Forgotten◈
✤------------------------------------------✤
<Kunikuzushi/Scaramocuhe x Reader>
-Angst ~ fluff?
Gender: Female
Summary: You were Kuni's childhood best friend but after the incident, he suddenly disappeared and you slowly forgot about him until you dont know what he looked and sound like.
Warnings: death, stalking, ghosted, fire, bad decision (thats all i think)
A/n: Feel free to correct my grammar!
Kunikuzushi>>>other versions of him
i hope you enjoy~!
--
"Oh! Im sorry!"
Someone said while lending me a hand.
"Huh?" I looked up and saw a cute little boy with a worried expression painted on his beautiful face. I held his hand and he helped me up. He was really adorable that you cant help but blush a little.
"Im really sorry!! I didn't know where i was going!"
"Oh no- dont apologize! I didn't look where i ws going to!" I said while scratching the back of my head.
"Oh! Let me help you pick that up" helping him pick up the boxes that fell down when you two bumped into eachother
When you two are done picking the box up and giving it to the customer, you asked him to be your friend.
You learned that he's name was Kunikuzushi
After that day you two became very close.
You two are practically attached to the hip!
He's really shy and kind of timid but its ok you can work with it! (>>>>>>>>>>>)
He's so amazing that you even formed a little crush on him.
"And they live happily ever after!"
"Kuni, when will we get our own happily ever after?"
"I dont know maybe when we grew old?"
"But what if we didn't"
"Then maybe in our next life?"
"Ehhhhh"
He helped you anyway he can and ofc you helped him too.
Your crush on him grew day by day that you feel like your heart is going to explode.
"Umm..Kuni i want to tell you something"
"Oh sure!"
You lead him somewhere noone can hear you two.
"Kuni..i really like you.."
"Me too! I really like you too! Youre a good friend!"
"Oh- no-"
Before i can correct him, someone called onto him and he suddenly left not before saying bye.
You felt your heart deflate.
You were so sad but you cant blame him since hes kind of dense.
.
.
.
One day you smell smoke coming from outside. You came out only to be greeted by Kuni's house burning.
You looked around and saw no signs of him.
You were about to go inside the burning house but your mother pulled you aside.
.
.
.
You really dont know what was going on but all you know is that Kuni is nowhere to be seen and Hes been gone for weeks now.
After the accident, you asked everyone in the village if they have seen Kuni around but no luck.
.
Its been a few months now and youre still searching for him.
Your heart yearned for him. You miss his voice, looks, and everything you miss him so much.
.
.
.
Years has passed since you last seen him.
You were slowly healing from his sudden lost of contact.
Its was a long journey, youve been trying to search for him for so long but all in vain.
You decided to just give up and move on with life.
Along the journey, you met someone Kazuha.
You learned that he likes to travel around and you decided to tag along since why not.
You slowly forget about Kuni along your journey and was slowly replaced by your new found crush, Kazuha.
.
.
.
You were walking around Inazuma when you suddenly felt like you were being watched, you turned around and saw people just minding their own business.
When you turned back around, you suddenly bumped into someone.
"Ah-! Im so sorry!!" You said while looking up
You saw that the young lad have a very familiar face, cute pair of eyes and beautiful indigo hair.
"Do i know you?" You mumbled.
"Tch. No and watch where your going next time."he said walking past me.
"Huh-" before you can say anything, he already dissapeard from your sight.
.
.
.
After that encounter you cant stop thinking about him, he just look so familiar.
"Y/N!"
"Huh-"
"Ah finally ive been calling you for the past minute. Is somethign bothering you?"
"Idk kazuha...I met someone a while ago that looks oddly familar.."
.
.
Ever since that day you feel like you were being watched. Every where you go, you cant get this feeling off. Even if you go to other lands you just keep feeling like you were being followed.
One night, you decided to go walk through the forest which is a very bad idea since you got attack by some treasure hoarders.
Before you could get hit, someone appeared Between you and the hoarder.
"Huh?" You looked up and saw that familar indigo hair facing his back at you.
He quickly deafeted all the treasure hoarders.
"H-hey! Thank you for saving me" you yelled.
"Tch." Then he dissapeard.
"Y/n! Where are you!?"
"Y/n! Are you ok!?"
"Huh kazuha? What are you doing here?"
"Thats not important right now are you ok!?"
"Ah ye.."
.
.
.
Years later
You and kazuha finally grew old.
Alot has happened since then.
You two sacrificed alot for the future that you two are experiencing now.
Kazuha finally retired fron travelling around.
You two got married after 5 years of dating.
The traveller have finally returned into their own world, it was sad but every journey has its end.
That feeling of being watched is still there tho youre finally used to it, so you dont really mind.
Even tho you grew old you were still protected by that same indigo hair guy.
You never saw his face nor did you hear him speak, you also dont know his name since he always dissapears when his job is done.
.
Here you are on your death bed.
You got a deadly disease that dosent have a cure.
Kazuha is holding your hand crying knowing that youll die any minute now.
You were tired.
You want to sleep.
Before you close your eyes forever, you told kazuha that youre thankful for him and wished that he wouldn't join you in the afterlife soon.
At the corner of your eye you saw him.
The same man who protected you all those years.
You finally saw his face.
His face is painted with sorrow and anger.
But not at you tho.
You looked at him and smiled and mouthed the word 'thank you'
As you took your last breath and closed your eyes, a single tear run down your face, smiling knowing that youve done everything you wanted to do.
Every journey has it end and you finally got yours.
.
.
.
When Kazuha finally left the room, Kuni approached you and gently kissed your forehead and mumbled
"Im sorry i left you that day maybe in another life we can have our own happily ever after." As he dissapeard.
.
.
.
--
*Masterlist*
Finally its done!😮💨
Took me a while since i didn't saved my work so i had to restart it over again.
I hope you enjoyed it~!
Happy valentines day every one!!
-February 14, 2023
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ok i need some opinions
so i had the talk with my roommate about not wanting to sign another lease with him. that’s all fine and good he understands why we can’t be roommates anymore but the problem is he doesn’t want to let me be the one to stay at this apartment because he claims he can afford to live here by himself. i don’t really believe him but its neither here nor there because i know i can only afford to live here if i rent with two other people.
my reasons for wanting to keep living here are: i can walk to work, its going to be really hard to find another place that allows TWO cats, my cats are CRAZY and this apartment is perfect for them (lots of windows for passive engagement + a loft area for them to get up in), i have a LOT of plants because the place gets a lot of natural light, to find another place that would support all of these plants will be difficult. & in addition to all of that - my name is on all of the utilities + the WiFi. because he is too irresponsible to take initiative with anything. in a worst case scenario I would be able to move back in with my parents, but that would mean moving to the country where i would be completely isolated and would have to quit my job.
his reasons for wanting to keep living here are: he was the one who found the apartment & he can afford to live here on his own, and he doesn’t want to move. if he has other reasons beyond those he hasn’t told me what they are.
ive known he was a selfish person for years. i mean ive completely given up on ever asking him for a favor because he acts so burdened by it, if he even is willing to do it at all. its my belief that his selfishness is a trauma response due to his upbringing, but yknow, i can only tell the guy he needs therapy so many times before i have to give up to save my own energy. but i can’t help but feel like i deserve this apartment way more than he does. im the one who’s been taking care of it and keeping it nice for us. im the only one of us who’s in any way responsible. so for him to be so hostile about me wanting to stay (he got really defensive about it) hurts me a lot. i want to believe that he’s a good friend but I don’t feel like a good friend would see me move out of an apartment that’s perfect for me just because the alternative would make his life harder. he hasn’t been a good friend for a while so why am i still pretending he is?
so should i tell him all of these feelings? im worried that its going to come across as emotional manipulation. because like… i can’t lie, my main reason for wanting to tell him all of this is so i can stay here and he’ll move out. its hard to not feel like a hypocrite calling him selfish when thats my deepest motivation. but its not my only motivation, i truly do believe that erik is unaware of this behavior of his and that he WANTS to be a good friend, and i wonder if me being honest with him is the wake-up call he needs in that regard? idk. i just want to be a good friend while also standing up for myself. its hard to navigate stuff like this.
so uh. should i tell him i think he’s being really selfish about this? and that ive noticed a pattern of selfish behavior in him? be honest if im being a dickhead about this too and should just give up the place to him like if thats he truth i wanna hear it. it would just kill me to see his irresponsible ass bite off more than he can chew and lose this place, esp since the rate we’re renting at is the 2021 housing rate like its gonna be SO much more expensive to find a place this nice in the current housing market 😭
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could i have a 🥐 for a golden trio era character (no poly ships) please? and congrats on graduating btw <3
(btw this is oddly formatted cuz i still dk how to write abt myself 😭)
my hogwarts house is slytherin & i'm an intp. i've been told im observant, 'mature for my age', 'elusive' & creative, and that i could do a lot of things if i choose to and set my mind to it. i can be really funny, vulgar & charismatic, but also aloof and cold. im a bit of a slacker and i get into my fair share of trouble. i also keep a small amount of friends.
my favourites books are the secret history & the goldfinch. i like journaling and reading but i tend to procrastinate a lot. my fave fruit is pomegranete. i tend to associate certain places with how deeply i felt or an eventful moment that happened. i have an eclectic music taste and usually listen to songs from/before the 2010s, mid 60s/early 70s & 50s. once in a while i will listen to some modern new releases, though. the song ive been listening to on repeat recently are sleepwalker by akiaura, your face by wisp, noisy sunday by patrick watson and you know im no good by amy winehouse. other than harry potter, i know mcu (spiderverse films <33), the umbrella academy, the twilight franchise, the walking dead and lord of the rings. i also like silent films. i love daydreaming and sleeping. i have the burden of the oldest sibling. ans i plan to taste all the best wine i could get my hands on, but that probably won't happen.
idk if this i a necessary description but i have olive/tan skin, black wavy hair, freckles & dark brown eyes. and my aesthetic would probably by beatnik and midwestern emo combined (and 'older brother' core but minus all the videogames).
𝐣𝐨𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭
i ship you with...
theo nott !!!
i have no hard reasoning for this apart from the fact that i get the sense you'd both get along so so well !!!
i know theo likes old times music and he would 100% put some on and just twirl you around your dorm room whether it's just the two of you or if the room is full of you're dormates
his friends have grown used to it and at this point just watch in adoration as you two get so wrapped up in your own world.
theo will take you on a trip to taste the best wines in the world, probably to italy during your last summer at hogwarts and he makes sure it's the best trip you've ever taken.
theo will also go to see every marvel film in the cinema with you if you asked.
he loved those kind of films so he is very excited to see all of them
doesn't let go of your hand through the whole movie. <<33
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Miscellaneous Tag Game (stolen title <3)
thank you bestie:3 @searchingfortheuniverse I'll be working on this while im on and off phone calls~
A band you don’t like that many others do: UM idk...my music taste is all over the place and I really only know the bands i think?? oh- maybe Mother Mother, only because I have not bothered to listen to their music past Junkrat hype videos and that's probably tainted my view a little. For better or for worse.
A childhood memory that you remember vividly: during a summer in greece, idk how, but I got roped into selling watermelons off the side of the road. I couldn't have been more than 6 or 7, but I remember I would put the watermelon in a plastic bag and the farmers thought it was really funny because that's such a...united states thing...to bag 1 whole watermelon in plastic. Anyways, they paid me in cucumber slices with salt.
Least favorite animal and why: HUH LEAST. I'm not a huge fan of like reptiles? Specifically those smaller than a bread box. Too fast, too squirm. Im worried I'll crush them in my hands. (im thinking of specifically florida geckos...idk they are cute but i freak out trying to hold them).
Hot fandom take: just because something is popular and fandom-wide accepted doesn't mean it is good. and not agreeing with it/wanting to engage in it doesn't mean you or your own opinions are bad. the monopoly on accepted 1 true canon is boring.
Do you wear any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece: I try an rotate my jewelry around but I'm usually wearing a few rings, a necklace and a pair of earrings. My favorites are the rings. They are my mom's old ones and I typically wear the same two every day. One is a gold key of greece and the other is a thin black bar but the sides have really small thin heart cut outs.
A movie others liked but you didn’t: HMMMMM probably the new star wars trilogy. felt unnecessary and i just didn't like it? big shruggies
Three things you love about yourself: my writing- its something that I enjoy the most in the world and something that I can claim as mine. I also think I'm pretty funny in a sillay way which is poggers. I like my openness to trying things. Think that's helped make me more well-rounded. I hope so at least.
A place you hope to visit in the future and why: HMMMMM. I want to visit Japan again. For a new place, I want to go to South America. Peru maybe??? Mexico would also be nice. So that's what I'm gearing up towards next.
An actor that gets on your nerves and why: Uh Matt Smith? No reason behind this. but I see his block head and kind of just look away.
Things you’re excited for in the nearby future? I have a lot of little house projects I finally feel like tackling which is exciting. Ive lived in my house for almost 2.5 years and still havent felt like parts of it are complete yet.
Least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in: oof I lowkey kind of hate saying things I don't like on here. bad experiences in the past when people were upset I didn't like a thing they did and got mad at me. But uhhh not the biggest fan of most rodimus ships? but I think mega/rod is my least favorite of them. sorry!
What’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in? hahaahahahhahahah can you believe Game of Thrones wasn't the most toxic???? it was jjba. I got put on a ban list which was kind of funny. I also got kind of show-ponyed in a toxic discord server for a while which has completely ruined me in the ability to act normal on discord outside of my irl friends. that account is deleted but the ao3 is still circling around.
List three things you find beautiful about life: Friends and family- sometimes I want to kill but I really do love them so so much. I like creating things and creating things with people. I also really like my area as far as nature goes. the beach to swamp ratio sings to me.
Any dreams for the future? I want to go on a really long hike. Maybe like a 2 day one? (< says the person that has gone on a max 2 hour hike before). Also just working on my original fiction again. I miss those fellas.
How are you really feeling today? Motivated!!!! Im a little groggy still, but I've been really excited about life and betterment lately so its overcoming my sleepy brain.
Tags: feel free to do or not: @honkytonka, @elmonstro, @huanted-dennys, @feral-birb-husband, @solarstormstuff @anyone else who wants to!! I'd be happy to read them:3
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MICKEY i am jumping out of the blanket fort excitedly <333 this is so long overdue bc ive been too excited to sit down and think abt the Vamps properly BUT it’s finally time.. this is just going of ur most recent rb abt them btw which was . a While ago IVE BEEN THINKING OF IT CONSTANTLY THOUGH BUT ;;;;; STSG…. THE STSG DYNAMIC….
mickey i’m convinced that u are secretly plotting my downfall there’s no other explanation. VAMP!SUGU FLIRTING W JOURNALIST!GOJO ……..…. i DIED i exploded they make me feel so ill. I’VE PROBABLY DEFINITELY SAID THIS BUT EVERY TIME U GIVE ME ANOTHER PIECE OF VAMP LORE I FALL FURTHER INTO THE PIT just . sugu feeling more comfortable in the dynamic & getting more confident… JOURNALIST!GOJO BEING FLUSTEREDPEKSJ HELP MEEEEEE vamp!reader would find that so funny wouldn’t they. so sweet. now i’m just imagining the vamps teaming up to fluster gojo 😵💫😵💫😵💫 me next
(he doesn't want u to be jealous he's more asking for reassurance - is it okay if the two of them mess around together too? and of course it is bc you want your boys to be happy)
dont even get me started on this ^^^^ im sending u my hospital bill watch out . MICKEY :(( im so obsessed w vamp!reader it isn’t even funny i need them so bad it’s sickening. they KNOW they call the shots and sugu knows it too and the way they’re kind of just. indulging their beloveds…… they’re sooo <33333 yeah.
i just wanted to let u know i am in fact thinking abt these three constantly i am kissing ur brain always. pls give mr armin a lil kiss from me too !! <33
HI ARI BABY!!!
it's so good to see you here (i might keep you forever)(/hj).
what do you think of playground love by air (btw doesn't the cover for this song look like sugu lmao i just noticed that) for this stsg? it might not be something you immediately thought of, right? but i feel like it suits the sugu teaching satoru how to paint?? do you see the vision?? or did you imagine something else?? i need to know. i think this moment would be such an important one in their relationship such a pivotal moment
i can totally see suguru talking about the colors and anatomy and how to hold the brush and then little journalist!gojo is just staring at him with stars in his eyes trying to concentrate because he really does want to learn but fuck it's so hard with this angel before him...
and i think the song name is also funny in a sense that satoru is like a teenager bc how easily he pops his boners lmao okay he just gets so fucking excited in his head it's literally not even sexual????? like sugu is just sooooo handsome under the moonlight it's making his head spin and oh! oops!
another thing i thought about is the fact that they definitely have a cat!!! idk if i said this already somewhere but they do!!! not a black one bc that's a little basic but maybe like a siamese one? meow very cute. anyway i think satoru desperately want to have the cat's attention but it loves sugu the most lmao and he's soooooo smug about that too!!! satoru is all pspspspsps bribing the kitty with the treats but it literally ignores him?????? and just gets comfy on sugu's lap without a second thought. imagine the pouty little satoru here:((( btw the reader is also jealous of sugu in this case but they refuse to show it. bc c'mon they're the leader of the house they can't be upset over their own cat liking their beloved more. no way. never. that's so childish. :(.
oh and and and!! the vamp!reader really does like satoru and they know that he's the perfect guy to help bring suguru out of his shell even more yk they know that a little curious puppy like him is only gonna do good in their household (after they reassure sugu ofc)
wait actually i can't remember whether i said that satoru just kind of moved in too right??? like he rarely goes to his city apartment and he just has his own room (as if he fucking sleeps there smh) and he absolutely loves lliving in the mansion he doesn't even hide it. i do need to say that he also adores having maids and a butler but he's still incredibly respectful towards them yk like he isn't pointlessly bossing them around
he also loves to blast stupid fucking music over the whole house.... canon i'm afraid. idk why but justin timberlake just popped into my head lmao like his music in the 10's wheww bangers though i won't lie
OHHH WAITT I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT SHOKO AND SATORU bc like they don't know each other yet!!!!! so imagine shoko comes over for their usual wine night and then finds this blue eyed guy lazing on the couch without a shirt on????? like who are you???? but then she recognizes him hehehe i think journalist!gojo is a rather known one he's good at his job so she just rolls her eyes but after an hour or two i think they actually get along surprisingly well!! (okay i mean it's not a surprise for us but for the reader and sugu) they kind of share the same stupid af humor and it all just gets super fucking funny when they're all playing board games together lmao (shoko always wins btw)(always.)
also heheheh armin came to sit with me just as i started writing this!!! he has received his kiss!! he meowed back!! he loves you!! i know bc i know his language so just trust me!!
ANYWAYY THIS IS THEMM!! i love talking about them it comes so easily the words really write themselves really (i can't wait to actually you know.. write something real for them lmao)(SOON I PROMISE SOON)
thank you for coming by i hope you never leave!!! mwah mwah mwah!! love you lots and lots and lots!!
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can you link to stuff explaining vampyres/sanguinarians (or explain it yourself, if you want!)? i've followed you for a while and your recent activity has made me curious. idk where to find stuff tho 😭
from what ive seen, a lot of the subculture(s) seem like it would trigger smth bad in me (like delusions and stuff bc I have tendencies) but like... idk vampirism has been big to me since before i knew what they were. so id like to at least learn abt it.
Heyup! I don’t tend to experience delusions around this area specifically, but I totally get it. I’ll provide some of my favorite info troves but can’t guarantee they’ll be trigger-free, so I’ll also attempt to give a rundown.
“vampires are generally individuals who cannot adequately sustain their own physical, mental, or spiritual well-being without the taking of blood or vital life force energy from other sources; often human” from Vampire Community News (VCN)
The Real Vampire Community is usually focused around “feeding” or the need to feed. There are different types; “sanguinarian” refers to blood-drinkers, “psychic/psi vampire” refers to those who feed on energy or otherwise non-physical sources, and “hybrid” refers to anyone who’s a mix of these. Those who identify as vampires but don’t necessarily need to feed might fall under “vampirekin”, “vampire lifestyler”, etc, which all have their own communities. The Vampire Community (VC) might host their own events, such as balls, and have many orgs/hubs in various cities, but activity has decreased in the past decade or two. Though many well-known fang-makers/installers that you’ll see pop up at major goth events, festivals, etc. are a part of the community.
Here’s some links!
Also here’s a bonus general vampire interest site! Lots of weird and fun info which occasionally centers the community
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