#idk man it just teleported me back to a rough time but it made the rough time seem bearable

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Just heard The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives and I'm UNWELL

[kissingrhi]

oh shit bro!!! ok! ahh if you have time and you would like to, would you have anything at all in the realm of hurt/comfort for lalo and/or nacho? ngl im down in the pits and ur writing is like a grilled cheese sandwhich on a cold rainy day, its amazing.

idk, maybe the reader is kind of going through it mentally and hella withdraws from everyone which causes conflict bc ahhh cartel work or something (idk man i dont deal drugs) and so The Boys go and check up on u bc "dude did you die or something?" (bc cartel stuff yknow?) and YOURE like "no i didnt die im just vibing bro but the vibes are tainted and gross" and theyre like "cool lets fix that." yknow? idk man the world is your oyster, i trust you. go nuts. but only if you would like to and have the time, i dont wanna pressure you to do anything homie :,) i hope u have a good day.

by far the cutest ask i have ever been sent. i'm sobbing. ily. and i am a WHORE. for hurt/comfort. you just get me!

cw: this gets kind of heavy at parts! maybe releasing something subconsciously with this man idfk. some of talk of depression, anxiety, stuff of that nature. enjoy!!

you legitimately wanted to disappear. forever.

your brain was constantly scrambled, erratic, and loud. you thought of everything and remembered nothing 99.9% of the time. what you did remember was nothing short of miserable reminders of what got you to where you were. who you were. what you'd done.

the shaking of your desperate hands and shuttered breathing of your lungs were nothing compared to the mind-numbing, seemingly endless spew of unfortunate findings in the barren wasteland that was your brain.

you hadn't come into work in 3 days. it had been 3 days since you'd step foot onto the tiled floor of el michoacáno. 3 days since you'd showered. 3 days since you'd moved, besides the awkward shifting during the freezing cold in the middle of the night, when you attempted to sleep. you were miserable, and the worst part was you couldn't decipher why.

it had also been 3 days since you'd checked your phone. oblivious to the countless amount of mixed calls from some of the only contacts you had: nacho and lalo. when you finally made it to reaching your phone, shoved in the drawer of your nightstand, your eyes widened. you ruined something again.

the texts varied from

L: ¿dónde diablos estás?

N: lalo me está molestando.

to

N: hate to say it, but i miss you

L: come back pls

you felt terrible, throwing your phone back to its place with a groan, hiding under the covers like you could escape the tenderness of missing your coworkers. more specifically, your friends.

all you could try to focus on was the gentle beating of your heart, remembering the time that nacho calmed you down the first time you had a panic attack in front of him after nearly dying. his hands were ice cold against your hot cheeks, pulling the hands that were hopelessly wiping away the streaming tears all the way down to your chest.

"el corazón. no cesará. no te dejaré tampoco."

you can still recall the pattern of his slow heart that you heard while you cried against his chest.

you weren't sure how long it was until you felt a change in the air. minutes, hours, days? time was moving irrationally slow and fast all at once. you were still blankly lying against your bed, buried under your blankets. nacho felt like he was at your wake.

you were zoned out, eyes only focusing when the two men you were worried about had seemingly teleported in front of your bed. instead of dropping a sarcastic, self-deprecating joke (like you usually do), you merely turned to the other side with a dramatic sigh.

a pair of rough fingers jumped in front of your line of vision, snapping rambunctiously.

"hey, hey! what the hell, mi amigo!?" his tone was dripping with comedy. "you have no right to ignore either of us. we've been so good to you."

you knew it was lalo quickly, thanks to the delicious grandiose of his gravely voice.

you finally turned around, hearing your bones crack as you pushed yourself up to lay against your bedpost. nacho and lalo drank in your disheveled state, agitation on their faces quietly fading into a look you knew all too well: concern. you glimpsed down at nacho's hand, rubbing his thumb over something he was obviously nervous about before shoving it in his pocket.

"i-" you started, blood suddenly running cold at the what you thought to be shameful eyes staring right at you. for some reason, a lump that had been building for what felt like years finally exploded in the back of your throat, a quick tear that you attempted to wipe away slipping down your cheek, going to push away nacho's anxious hand that reached for your back.

"what? you what?" lalo's posture had completely changed, eyes softening.

the tears were flowing fearlessly now, your eyes still dim and lifeless. you seemed to be fading away, in real time. it was melancholy.

"i am not-" you swallowed, putting a hand to your heart subconsciously.

"i am not ignoring you guys." you said firmly, staring lalo right in the eyes with your stoic, but unconvincing gaze.

the two exchanged looks at each other, nacho biting the inside of his cheek, lalo scratching the back of his neck. they had no idea what to do. they killed people for a living! even if you three weren't the most fond of each other at times, you obviously cared about each other.

"i'm just adjusting. i've got a lot going on. needed some rest." you explained, pressing your fingers together so hard that when you pulled them apart, the skin eased open slowly.

"haha." you were unconvincing, and unrelenting in how much you swore that everything was just fine.

lalo was already strutting his way into the kitchen, starting on something he knew you'd like: chicken noodle soup. when you went to scold him for barging in your home, he just pressed a gentle kiss on your head, making your eyes widen because that is so unlike him.

while lalo got to work in the kitchen, nacho cautiously sat at the end of your bed. when you went to talk, still tearful and messy, nacho politely put a hand up.

"you don't have to explain yourself all the time, you know?" he asked, genuine curiosity brewing in his deep eyes.

"i mean, especially not to me or him." he nodded towards the kitchen, past your doorway. "do you see how we have spent our lives?" he asked, pressing a tickling finger into your side, grinning ear to ear when you smiled the tiniest bit.

"listen. i know how it feels." he started, eyes searching around the floor to try and put what he wanted to say politely, into terms he knew wouldn't blossom into spouts of dangerous overthinking in your unpleasantly fragile mind. he looked just about as sad as you.

"i know what it feels like to have no one understand." he finally looked up at you, hands gently pressing into your shoulders. his eyes were almost watering. maybe you were hallucinating.

you started to cry more, and his frown grew.

"please, please do not cry." he started.

"estás muy cerca de romperme el corazón." was said under his breath. mumbled like an unforgivable sin at the altar.

while his hands wiped away at your tears, he just silently told you, "we care about you. we all care about each other. we have to."

his touches that were so comfortable against your tense body led you to your bathtub, and before you knew it he was sitting on the edge of your toilet and rubbing body wash against your spine. his grimace grew at your sorrowful, hunched figure.

"please do not cry." was uttered again, like you crying would shatter his world just as much as yours.

as soon as you were dressed in fresh clothes, and your messy hair was neatly pulled away from your face, nacho brought you back to your newly cleaned bed.

you felt like your only lifeline was his warmth surrounding what felt like the arctic that you had embedded yourself in.

lalo invited himself back in, pressing a beautiful tray of chicken noodle soup onto your lap, wrapping a blanket around your shoulders with an airy sense of comedy (he pretended like the job was a massive issue to him, groaning each time he had to move, watching you deeply to see you laugh).

you just stared up at both of them, like you had never experienced this kind of care before.

if you were being honest with yourself, you definitely hadn't.

"well?" lalo started, looking right back at you. "eat." he said, almost in a way that a mother does to their child. he scolded you, but in the way that you know had the purest and most loving intentions.

when you did, you noticed the sharp, grainy pain in your throat was instantly washed away. you couldn't stop. your nutrient-deprived body scarfed down the meal, chugging the glass of water he added on the side.

"thank you guys." was all you said, looking away with a gentle smile on your face.

"are you kidding me? of course!" lalo laughed. "you just need to come coddle me every time i get sick. deal?" he asked, rubbing your head.

after hours of hugs and distracting conversations, the pair decided you were well enough to leave for the night.

"get lots of rest, okay? don't need you to lose any focus at work." lalo pointed a demanding finger at you, chest raised like he was the king of the world. "be safe."

you nodded, your head leaning into your pillow with a grin. nacho situated himself in front of you once more, reaching into his pocket. he made his way out while you read the tiny slip of battered paper.

you noticed a gorgeous blue, dried flower pressed against the right edge. in his messy handwriting you could dechiper:

"el corazón. no cesará. no te dejaré tampoco."

[gimme-noodles-please]

🇵🇸!!

If you still take requests from For All Time, could I ask for a modern world Cael kiss?

Thank you. Drink water and take care.

idk what to put for title

cael x gn! reader

wc: 800+

content: reader is MC in the game

✨lars route spoiler warning!✨

———————————————

Cael trudged through the snow on his horse with a few rebels keeping a respectable distance away from him. Thankfully today the snowfall was rather light, however as we all know, it would not be in a few days time. The Silver Knight waves a hand at his lackeys, signaling them to stand down as a familiar looking mage on a horse approaches them. The mage got off her horse, stopping in front of him while he too did, carrying a drowsy looking young girl. “As you have requested, Silver Knight.” The mage nods, pushing the girl towards the silver haired man, not caring if she was being too rough. “Please give us some privacy.” Was all he said, clutching onto the shorter girl’s arm. The rebels nodded and returned back to their respective routes.

At last, Cael was finally alone with you. “W-what is the meaning of all these?” You hear yourself say, your voice sounding a little croaky for being unconscious for so long. He cracked a slight smile, as if trying to reassure you. This will be the last time he will try. After all, time and time again he has attempted to bring you back to your original world, only to end up having time looping again. Was this the work of destiny? But he made a promise; he will keep you safe, let you grow up as a normal girl amongst others, away from all the mess he is involved in; it is his duty after all. Just one last try, was what he told himself. He had researched ways to counter this and foolishly stumbled across some fairytales you had read when you were much younger, always involving the story being resolved by a simple true love’s kiss. Maybe it could be the key to succeeding this time? It does not hurt to try.

He flashed a warm gaze at you, almost parental, one that you know too well from years of growing up under his care. “Y/n, listen to me. Once you get back, forget about everything that has happened here. It is for your own good.” Of course you weren’t dumb, his sweet sounding words did not convince you as you struggled in his hold. “No! Cael, I have to help them. I can’t just let innocent people die!” His hand tightened around your wrist in warning to shut up, making you wince in pain. You have never once seen him like this, a complete contrast to the gentle guardian you’ve always known. It scared you a little but you knew he would never harm you. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled under his breath, barely heard. The next action he did was so fast you had barely any time to react as he pulled you into a kiss. Hurriedly pressing his lips against yours while keeping an arm around you to pull you closer to him, as well as to keep you from running away.

Before you could recover from your surprise, he has managed to teleport you back to your own world…

-///-

You slowly opened your eyes, finding yourself facing the all too familiar ceiling. What happened? Why does your head hurt so much? All you could remember was the competition and subsequently passing out after running onto the stage… then what happens next? A light knock resounds from the door before it is gently pushed open, a soft creak echoing throughout the quiet room. “I made you some tea. Maybe it could make you feel a little better.” Cael gently said as he sets down the cup onto your nightstand as he sits down next to your bed. You push yourself up to sit upright, biting your bottom lip. Something was wrong, but what? You can’t help but feel something bugging at you, like you are forgetting something very important. Cael seems to have noticed your worried expression and takes your hands in his. “Y/n, are you feeling alright?” You kept your eye line down, not daring to make any contact with him. Why? Why are you suddenly feeling so uncomfortable with him? These strange feelings that were surfacing were confusing you. “Look at me, darling.” His, surprisingly, cold hand cupped your cheek to direct your gaze towards him. “I am here. I will always be here for you when you need me, okay?” All you could do was nod, still unable to rid that horrible feeling inside of you.

“May I?” He asked, his voice becoming softer than before as his thumb carefully brushed against your bottom lip. You slowly nodded and that was all the consent he needed before his lips connected with yours. The kiss was soft and gentle, slow and loving, just like the Cael you had always known.

Cael had no idea why he took the initiative to do this, perhaps it is his way of making it up to you even though you can’t remember it, he was far too rough for his first kiss with you.

But alas, the world around Cael warps again, making him groan inwardly. His plan has failed once again

—————————————

a/n: i honestly dk what to write for this so JDKSJW

[old-congratzams]

endeavor x fem reader with a Kitty Cheshire quirk (neko with ability to teleport) plot: reader super low Grade villain that love to start trouble and teleport away but endeavor catches her she can’t teleport away and endeavor teaches her a lesson nsfw 😺

aaa, i hope this is good! i feel like it’s a lil bit rushed but maybe it’s just my self criticism kicking in asdhaskfhsf thanks so much for requestingggg

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐰. 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐢

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: mentions of blood, size difference, smutty smut, blowjob, cum eating, cat girl idk how to tag this one hadhsdhf

𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓. I can’t control what you guys choose to read or not but I’d be way more comfortable if minors stayed away from my works. <3

Enji was annoyed. Doing rounds on a night market was always so monotonous because the presence of the number one hero quickly scared the villains and criminals away. But during that night in particular, things escalated quickly and Enji rushed towards the commotion.

"Endeavor, you're here! Do something!"

Chasing a delinquent that stole fish from a nearby stand was nowhere near the number one's ideal job. However, people gathering around and expecting him to do something so simple like going after a low criminal added enough fuel to his irritation and shook his ego.

"Watch this."

He followed the scent of raw fish down the streets and the trail ended in a dark alley. Enji thought he'd seen someone with cat ears and tail but didn't find anyone there, it was like they'd just disappeared right under his nose. And speaking of nose, the scent was back and it was-- behind him!

Enji was quick to grab the criminal by the arm — the first thing his gloved hand could reach. The criminal let out a squeal while in mid-air, a pair of strong hands holding her own behind her back.

"I see. A teleportation quirk, huh?"

Her cat ears twitched by the sound of his deep, dangerous voice. She tried to struggle her way out, free from the arms of the pro hero.

"There's no use, you won't be able to--"

She frenetically fluttered her tail, squirming as anxiety build up in her tummy. It was unfair that a low criminal as her would be caught by the number one himself.

"Tch."

The wiggling tail seemed to annoy Enji even further. Holding the tiny arms in one hand, the other reached for the tail in a firm grasp. The action caused the criminal to inhale deeply and freeze.

Tears gathered on the corner of her dolly eyes and red flushed her cheeks. The hero was oblivious to the fact her tail was very sensitive and any form of rough touch would send waves of warmth to her womb.

"L-Let me go..." Her voice sounded meek and bearing distress. "I'll pay for it-- I promise!!"

The grip on her tail tightened, the incoherent actions increasing Enji's suspicions. "What do you think you’re doing?!"

She gasped when Enji tugged on her tail by accident, instinctively rolling her hips and searching for friction while low moans left her mouth.

The sinful sounds put the hero in alert, his hand securing her arms now reaching for her mouth and his voice now low and threatening. "Do you want people to hear?"

The criminal shook her head even though her mind was clouded with sexual needs. Her nipples were hard as pebbles as seen from her vest.

"S-sir, it's that you're t-touching my tail..."

"Tch. I can't risk you running away."

She breathed heavily, pressed against his chest and her tail still on his hand. A sudden wave of pleasure hit the cat girl, sending shivers all over her body and a loud moan escaping her lips.

Enji pressed the girl against the wall, holding her by her face and squeezing her cheeks. "Are you insane?!? I told you to keep quiet--"

The look of pure lust, gaze lost in heaven and drool dripping from her chin made Enji realize what she meant before. It was impossible for him, a healthy man, to not go hard knowing that he caused that, even if accidentally.

Her tail fluttered, exposing the euphoria she was feeling. Although very embarassed by the situation and quite ashamed, the hero weighted his course of action.

"I'll give you what you want and then you'll turn yourself in," Enji proposed, grabbing the tail and putting it over the line of his cock, stroking both over his hero suit.

The way her eyes rolled to the back of the head and her sharp teeth drew blood from her lips encouraged Enji to continue taking advantage of the criminal. He licked her lips clean from the blood and then pushed his tongue into her small mouth, the size difference adding fuel to the fire.

"Lick it." He pressed the tip of her tail against her lips, to which she complied. "Now touch yourself with it while you suck me off."

She did everything she was told. The wetness from her previous orgasm coated her tail and both her tail and clit were very sensitive to any touch, which sent electrical shocks through her body every time she fluttered it against her small hardened bud.

While she moaned, Enji freed his cock from the suit, pushing it into her mouth. "Watch out for the teeth."

His cock was too big for her mouth so she had to open big and wide to accommodate it. Enji slowly fucked her mouth, not allowing any further than the tip to pass her lips. Her tongue worked hard around it, fluttering against the vein underneath his cock and giving it special attention.

"You probably like milk..." Enji pondered. "If you're a good girl until the end I might reward you with it."

By that suggestion, she licked and sucked eagerly. The tip of her tail fluttered faster on her clit, both sensitive from the filthy pleasure Enji was putting her through. Her tiny hands switched from massaging the base of his cock to toying with his sack.

A disappointed cry left the girl's mouth once Enji pulled his cock out of it. Precum glistened the tip and the girl probably had drunk loads of it. Enji's cock felt sensitive and was ready to shoot cum all over her face but he had other plans for her. It felt decades since he last fucked and the filthy, embarassing situation didn't help at all.

"On your hands and knees, girl."

Her legs were shaking from the heavy stimulus, the ending of her tail covered in her own wetness, but she promptly obeyed the command.

His hand grabbed the tail forcefully, getting it out of his way. The roughness he handled the tail caused the girl's pussy to tighten and dampen the suit even more. Weren't for the piece of clothing, she would be dripping on the alley like she had just wetted herself.

Enji gave each her butt cheeks a light slap, making them jiggle with the impact. He pushed aside the sopping fabric, sighing by the view of her dripping cunt and resisting the urge to plunge in one finger. Instead, he lined up his fat cock against her entrance, responding with a guttural moan by the feeling of her warm velvety pussy sucking him in.

Needless to say, his cock stretched her with ease, the wetness aiding the intrusion. She felt so full while his cock pressed just the right spots, she felt like bursting, she felt--

Enji thrusted in one rapid motion, burying his cock deep into her as soon as he felt her convulsing around him, groaning at how tight she are. He lost control the minute he felt her coming around him, even though he was only halfway through.

Tears gathered at the corner of her eyes and she spilled all over the hero. Thankfully, his suit was impermeable but the concrete underneath their knees was not.

A hand grabbed her hair while the other remained at the base of her tail, holding her in place while he thrusted into the girl. She couldn't discern if she was so high in ecstasy that his violent thrusts didn't hurt her at all or if Enji was taking such a good care of her that it's not even supposed to hurt. Either way, she knew for sure she'd be sore in the morning — in jail, perhaps.

But she didn't want to think about it while being fucked by the number one himself. His girth and length were massive, and opened her whole. The way he thrusted into her got more erratic and she could feel he was holding back.

“N-no, don't... don't hold back--!!" she pleaded, tail fluttering in agitation and her body ready to be ruined.

He let go of her hair and fisted her tail, giving it a harsh tug. Her hips were pulled back in the mean time, the new angle allowing the tip of his cock to line up perfectly with her cervix and she screamed from the sudden burn.

Enji was close to his limit, his voice cracking from pleasure and the threats that left his lips seemed empty. "If... If you keep screaming, I'll have to shut-- shut you up."

She was drenching, losing any focus she regained after coming while Enji played with her tail, but her body reached its limits and started descending from the previous high.

"E-Endeavor-san, I don't think I can come anymore..." she murmured.

He groaned, taking his cock out of her abused hole. It felt heavy, the cum ready to burst any minute. "Come 'ere, open your mouth."

His hand stroked his cock a couple times before he gushed cum all over her tongue. She let some of it spill on the ground, not able to gulp it all down. Enji looked just as wasted as the girl in front of him.

He breathed heavily as if he just won a fight, having used all of his power to win. The criminal waited patiently for him to say anything after the haze dissipated.

"You... You were a very good kitten," he praised after adjusting his suit. "But you still owe the owner some apologies after stealing from him."

She agreed, obediently following Enji from the dark alley back to the food stands. Once there, she bowed apologetically to the owner while Enji kept his arms crossed in front of his chest, trying to look the usual but his eyes betraying the fatigue and indifference towards the present moment.

After everything was settled, Enji ended up paying for the damage she had caused. He grabbed the cat girl by the neck and guided her through the streets, only one thing in his mind.

"Disobedient girls like you should have someone to discipline them. How about that, hm?"

Something in her guts was telling her that she was stuck with the number one for some time — not that she was complaining, though.

[chronicallylatetotheparty]

Watching (the Adventures of) Merlin season one on Netflix

Episode One: The Dragon's Call

. . . I feel like going to the capital of the kingdom indiscriminately slaughtering magic users wasn't the best idea.

Why? Well, that guy did just get executed.

And now his mom is mad. You tell that sorry excuse for a king, witch lady.

I don't like Uther, in case it was unclear.

Wait... if you could teleport why not just grab your son and ditch before he loses his head? Literally.

Oh, wow. Arthur is a dick.

Morgana. We have no choice but to stan tbh.

Dragon, you're really rubbing me the wrong way.

That's right Merlin! We need more than Because Destiny Says So!

Where did the spiderwebs come from? That sleeping spell gives me Sleeping Beauty vibes.

Ah, yes. The old drop-the- chandelier-on-the-villain trick. :(

If she went after Uther instead of Arthur I would have no complaints.

Manservant? You call that a reward for saving your son?

Episode Two: Valiant

Snake!Shield

Oh, he's gonna- Yup, dead. That's what happens when you deal with knights who cheat.

Where did that guy even get a magic shield in the first place?

Is there a thriving magic black market or something?

I love Guin.

. . . I feel like Sir Valiant didn't think this through. If bite marks are visible.

Ugh, you're the worst Uther.

It's only the second episode! Did you forget who saved your son already?

Stop being a jerk Arthur.

Lol. Merlin bringing a dog statue to life in order to practice for the Snake!Shield.

Bye Valiant!

Episode Three: The Mark of Nimueh

Whatcha up to with that egg, new witch lady?

You gonna poison the water of all of Camelot? Seems like a jerk move.

Dang that's a lot of dead bodies...

No, I like Guin's dad!

Yes! Cure him Merlin!

No! Stop arresting Guin, Uther!

You tell him, Morgana!

That plague monster that hatched from witch lady's egg is creepy.

Dead monster!

Arthur is kinda oblivious to Merlin's magic ngl.

Yay! Guin's free!

What do you know about witch lady Nimueh, Uther? Hmm? Why she want you dead? Besides the obvious reasons.

Episode Four: The Poisoned Chalice

Wow, Nimueh really doesn't like Merlin saving the day.

Wow, Nimueh really orchestrated an entire diplomatic incident in order to kill Merlin while also ensuring Camelot is destroyed by its neighbor. Impressive.

I really like Merlin and Guin's friendship.

Dang. Merlin really drank poison in order to save Arthur.

Merlin saved Arthur's life, Uther! Let him return the favor!

Oh, wow. Arthur really disobeyed his father in order to save Merlin's life.

I didn't know Merlin could cast spells while deathly delirious. And several miles away from him too.

Uther you b****! The antidote is right there! Let Arthur save his friend!

Putting your own son in a cell is such a jerk move.

At least Arthur and Guin manage to sneak the antidote to Merlin.

Quick aside: Internet spoilers say Uther needs to die for Arthur to complete his himbofication- I mean character development. So, if you could get on with that? Thanks!

Episode Five: Lancelot

Wow, that's a very CGI griffin.

Lancelot is so precious- Uh, I mean effective! Saving Merlin and all.

I know, Guin. I know.

Always thought it was a stupid rule to only let nobles be knights.

You're really going to commit magical forgery for someone you just met, Merlin?

I mean, Lancelot is earnest, hardworking, modest, kind despite his tragic backstory and it's his childhood dream to be a knight...

Yeah, I'd commit magical forgery too.

Lol, knocked you on your ass didn't he Arthur? (The second time at least)

I don't remember griffins being man-eaters!

Uther stop arresting people! Ugh, you're such a classist.

Let Lancelot help fight the griffin, Arthur! You need all the help you can get!

Well okay letting him go was nice of you.

Lancelot-Merlin tag team!

Wow. Lancelot really strode in with Camelot's singular braincell by figuring out Merlin has magic.

(The bar is low, okay.)

No, don't take away the braincell! Stay! The griffin was a team effort!

Okay, Lancelot's lawful good tendencies are a little annoying but, hey, nobody's perfect.

Episode Six: A Remedy to Cure All Ills

Edwin, no. Leave Morgana alone.

Oh, beetles! Curse beetles! That's not creepy at all.

Gaius how do you know Edwin?

What diabolical plot are you hatching Edwin? Oh, you're replacing Gaius in the royal court. That's kinda rude.

Merlin's so happy meeting another magic user that isn't trying to kill him (yet).

Le gasp! Uther's purge killed Edwin's parents? WhO cOuLd HaVe fOreSeEn tHis!?

But seriously. No wonder Edwin wants Uther dead.

I know Edwin blackmailed Gaius with exposing Merlin but he also wants to kill Uther!

That gives him a pass in my book.

Gaius no. Let Uther die.

Edwin stop trying to kill Gaius! You're going to-

Yup, here comes Merlin and-

Edwin's dead :(

Well he was trying to overthrow the kingdom. That's... bad... I guess.

Episode Seven: The Gates of Avalon

That title is misleading. It's more of a natural portal/magic lake type thing.

Arthur saves a father and daughter from bandits (Which they hired but shhh)

And they immediately try to put a love spell on Arthur

For human sacrifice purposes of course

Idk why the Sidhe want a human prince's soul -look at him, you don't know where he's been- but that's the price for readmission

I wonder how the dad killed one of his own kind? Was it an accident or...?

Exiling the daughter too makes me suspicious of Avalon's justice system

Evil laugh is a bit out of place for someone who is trying to restore his daughter's immortality

(They are so whiny about being mortal. Hey, we put up with it all the time!)

The fairy-like Sidhe moving in accelerated time so they just look like tiny orbs of light was an interesting touch. The blue faces and razor sharp teeth is not a good look for them, lol

They make Arthur ask to be married ('cause it takes a while for the love spell to go into full blown mind control or something)

Prompting Uther to threaten to kill both of them

(I feel like they didn't think this through)

Morgana admonishes Uther for being the worst

He replies that first love rarely lasts and that Arthur is inexperienced in such things. Plus that Arthur only met the girl yesterday

... I can't believe Uther is the voice of reason this episode

He doesn't get any points though. Due to the whole "threatening to execution his son's 'crush' " thing

The daughter is having second thoughts about using Arthur as a human sacrifice

Dear old dad puts those to rest and they try drowning Arthur in the lake that is/is the portal to, Avalon

Merlin's really leaning into the whole "Cool motive. Still murder.", thing huh?

Like, he did NOT hesitate to blow up both of them

Episode Eight: The Beginning of the End

Why do magic users keep going to Camelot!? The king is trying to KILL YOU!

Wow, this grown ass man is threatened by a literal child... I hate Uther so much

Morgana is the MVP of this episode. I love her

Protect that druid kid!

I feel like you're being paranoid Uther

You tell him Morgana!

Dragon, no. Stop prophesying death and destruction.

Wow, this grown ass dragon is threatened by a literal child...

Aaaand Morgana got caught sneaking the kid out of the city :(

Uther she is your adopted daughter! Stop putting people in cells!

Arthur is gonna sneak him out now?

While Morgana distracts the king?

Yes, excellent. What could possibly-

Merlin stop listening to that destiny dragon! Hearing his voice in your head is no basis for trust!

Cutting it close... Yay! They made it!

Mordred!? MORDRED!?

THAT little boy is Mordred!?

... Okay, I'm more inclined to believe the destiny dragon now

Still think letting him die would be a dick move

Episode Nine: Excalibur

What're you up to with that tomb Nimueh?

Oh! It's some kind of undead knight. Yes.

Throwing down the gauntlet. Pfft! Always thought that was a stupid idea.

Also: that Black Knight literally crashed your party!

Ugh, knights.

Nimueh if you can just teleport into the heart of Camelot while Uther is alone why don't you just stab him? Grab one of those pointy things he likes so much and stab him in the back. Easy peasy!

Stealing this joke but Don't do evil magic kids. It fries your brain cells.

Wait, the Black Knight is Uther's brother-in-law!?

Arthur's mother died in childbirth!?

Uther asked Nimueh to use her magic so he could have Arthur!?

Equivalent Exchange!?

Uther went on a genocidal rampage because he didn't bother with the instruction manual of ancient and powerful magic!?

Actually, that last one is not surprising at all.

I can't believe they're using the Wife in the Fridge trope. That appliance hasn't even been invented yet!

Ooh, Merlin's going to use his magic to destroy the Black Knight so Arthur doesn't have to fight him

As he's killed two knights already

Aaaaand, yup, he's still there. His cloak didn't even catch fire...

Arthur stop being a bastard. It doesn't suit you

Dragon forged sword! DRAGON FORGED SWORD!

Only Arthur can wield it. Yup, got it. How could this possibly go wrong?

Uther drugged Arthur and took his place in the fight... I have mixed feelings about this.

Wait, the dragon was very specific about only Arthur using that super special sword! Oh, snap.

Well at least the Black Knight is dead. Again.

Oh, dragon is not happy.

I know the dragon said "where no mortal soul could find it" but are you sure you wanna throw it into Avalon, Merlin?

Those people were gonna suck Arthur's soul out of his body

Episode Ten: The Moment of Truth

The way this episode title just lies to your face like that...

Oh, you're Merlin's mother! Thought we had an anime protagonists type thing going on

I... would like to say Uther is being unreasonable when he decides not to cross borders to get rid of some bandits. But I can totally see everyone hating him so that's a no go.

Lady, you were in a whole different kingdom. Why for the love of Merlin did you send him to Camelot!?

We're off to save the village! Morgana and Guin are coming too!

A wild Arthur appears!

Morgana better at swordplay than Arthur confirmed!

Merlin! I didn't know you had friends!

Granted he's a bit rough around the edges but

Okay. If it were literally anyone else besides Arthur. I'd say he was right about lords and knights being useless snobs.

Actually. He's right about lords and knights being useless snobs. Ah, that felt great.

Wow, the homosexual subtext is strong with this one.

The girls can tell Arthur came for Merlin.

But get your foot out of his face! I don't care how royal it is!

Look at Guin over here calling out Arthur for being a dick

And talking him into letting the women fight. She's on a roll

Aw, Merlin's friend died. :(

And he took credit for Merlin's tornado (so Arthur wouldn't find out about Merlin's magic)

Episode Eleven: The Labyrinth of Gedref

Lol, that unicorn could use a haircut.

No, Arthur. I said a haircut not an arrow to the chest!

Bad things? What kind of bad things Gaius?

Uther what's the point of having an expert in magical lore if you're not going to listen to him!

And all the crops are dead. Fantastic.

I know it's a magic thing but stating outright that the blight only targets edible plants is still really unsettling.

And the water's turned to sand. Great.

Who're you and how come Merlin is the only magic user that can't teleport?

What kind of tests mister Keeper of the Unicorns, sir?

Arthur I know you don't want to believe it's your fault... But it's totally your fault.

Uther no. People are starving.

You tell him Arthur.

Oh, the "theif" was a test!

Aaaaand he failed the second one. :(

Merlin's got a lot of faith in Arthur.

It's interesting how the Keeper can only direct the curse caused by the unicorn's death. Or rather the trials surrounding the curse, but can't break it himself.

Unicorns have some powerful magic.

The Labyrinth was barely on screen for five minutes! Surely something with Unicorn in the title would be more appropriate?

Arthur drinking a poisoned cup so Merlin could live?

That's some strong parallels right there.

The Keeper of the Unicorns is such a troll! Sleeping potion, hah!

The day is saved, Arthur lies to Uther's face about killing the Keeper and the unicorn resurrects itself.

Still needs a haircut though.

Episode Twelve: To Kill the King

Whatcha up to Guin's dad?

Oh that guy isn't suspicious at all.

You didn't think it was shady when he asked to meet in the middle of the night!?

Philosopher's Stone!?

Wow, the guards found him quickly.

What- No! Don't arrest Guin's dad!

Uther, he's a blacksmith! Stop being paranoid!

Will you stop executing people!? That inn keeper didn't know that guy was a dangerous sorcerer!

No, nononononono! He surrendered! Why did you do that!? Guin's father was important to Morgana!

That's why she gave him the key!

Dragon has his priorities straight.

Shut up, Merlin. You literally blew up a father and daughter for trying to kill one(1) person. (No really, you could see their hands flying off.)

Morgana deserves a little murder. As a treat.

Yes! Get him! Kill the bastard!

No! Why would you make GUIN say that!? Who are you and what have you done with Guin!?🔪🔪

UGH, he literally committed genocide!

The "that would make me as bad as he is" DOES NOT APPLY!

What- Oh, he still has the fairy's staff.

No. Stop it! Let Uther die!

Oh, God, Uther is such an abusive piece of GARBAGE!

Stop! Don't fall for it Morgana!

*sees dagger being pushed closer to Uther's "heart"* Yes! Yes! YES!

*Morgana saves him* NO!

NO!

NOOOOOO!

*inarticulate ranting in the background*

Episode Thirteen:

Okay, the cgi might be getting a little better 'cause the Questing Beast is freaky

Old religion? What is that? And how come it's conveniently absent from the previous episodes?

Dang, they really here just casually gaslighting Morgana like that 😡

Merlin you know Morgana has visions! You couldn't have been a little more careful? She warned you. Now look at Arthur, he's got the heroic death disease

Granted that thing does seem like a handful

Why do you only act like a father when it's a matter of life and death? Why can't you be a father literally any other time!?

"The old religion is the magic of the Earth itself."

Well that sounds fascinating, dragon. Are you going to elaborate? No? Later then?

Soooooo, is the old religion actually a religion or is it a magic? It's really unclear...

"You will be a better king than your father could ever hope to be." Guin, you're back!

I expected a place called the Isle of the Blessed to be less... creepy

Nimueh! Whatcha up to girl? Plotting the demise of a kingdom? Not today it seems

Oh there some Equivalent Exchange type nonsense going on is there?

Arthur you were supposed to be in a coma not listening to Guin!

Oh. Oh, no.

Merlin saying goodbye as he prepares to trade his life for his mother's is 😢😭

Wow, that dragon really knew Nimueh would give Merlin's mother the curse and didn't say anything. The little b*****!

No wonder Merlin's mad at him. Stop breathing fire at him! It's your own fault!

Gaius, no! Not the dead mentor trope!

"You stood by and watched as our friends died." Damn, Nimueh isn't pulling her punches.

Merlin vs Nimueh! Ready? Fight!

Anime protagonist power up! Dang, Nimueh's dead... I feel like that wasn't supposed to happen.

At least no one else is dying. Since Nimueh's death appeased the Equivalent Exchange laws of the old religion.

[taptroupe]

evergrace chapter 10 final part YAY I AM NOW FREE FROM SCHOOL FOREVER MAYBE

A well trained body covered with armor.

Aside from red ornaments, entirely in black - and whatever clothes could be seen underneath, a grassy colour.

His hair couldn’t be seen underneath his helmet, but instead a rough face tanned by the sun. Brown eyes, with hidden strength reflected within.

And then, a huge scar across his cheek.

The counteroffensives of Morea.

this finally wraps up chapter 10. may the next chapters not take months to finish please oh god lmao. this finally brings the introduction of ralbadora, the assassin who killed darius’s parents, and then a heart to heart between darius and olsdflsfjl, and then.............. the moment before the final fight.

“You.... YOU!”

Bitter, painful memories came back to Darius’s mind upon seeing the man from his nightmares appear in front of him again.

He swung his sword, once, twice, three times, but the man would not retaliate. He retreated backwards, out of the room, but Darius leapt forward to strike.

“Darius, what are you doing?!”

Orlsjfldjf, still at the lever, dropped it and positioned himself behind Darius - grabbing his arms and pinning it behind his back.

darius gets two wrestling moves performed on him this chapter LOLOLOL

“This man rushed to me and Medina’s safety! Without him, we wouldn’t even be alive right now!”

“I don’t care what he did! He’s the bastard that killed my parents!”

“Bastard?” (the word used here is 仇 , implying grudge, super hated enemy)

In a moment of confusion on ordsldrsj’s side, Darius shook free of his restraint. Both his sword and his words were pointed at the man with rage.

“It wasn’t just Sharline... You, you survived too!”

The counteroffensive of Morea shook his head.

“Darius of Solta, to you who bears the Crest. For killing your parents, though I desire to apologize, an apology would never make up for what I’ve done.

But, your father raised a knife to the neck of our Mother - and that is something we could not allow to happen.”

“The Billiana forest?! You’re telling me that those trees mean more than a person’s life?!”

“That’s right. For Billiana is the source of all life.”

“I’m tired of hearing that bullshit!”

“We wanted your father to change his mind, at least for your sake, but he would not listen to our words...”

Somehow, the man he held a grudge against all these years... Was far different from the image he had created in his head. Darius felt his anger dissipate, and what arose was confusion.

“But... Why... Why would you save the son of the man you killed? I... I don’t understand...”

“Our mother’s enemy was your father and your father only. But, what I had done to your mother... Was my grave error.”

(”omae no haha made te ni kakete shimatta koto” is kinda like “what i did by my hands concerning your mother” also implying it was a mistake. kinda vague but probably on purpose. they know what happened. it was axe)

“Then.... Then you should’ve just killed me back then, too!”

“.......We couldn’t. Our rules dictate that a Crestbearer must never face the edge of a blade. But, to leave you alive would leave you with nothing but pure hate. Yet at the same time, to kill you... Would result in punishment for myself.”

“......”

“I have committed a sin I must atone for. At that time, that girl who stood in front of me, and to the you that stands in front of me now, I will protect you both.”

“Sharline, too?”

“She sacrificed herself in place of my sin.

Darius, until that girl’s safety is guaranteed, this life of mine is yours to use as you see fit.”

“How do I know I can trust you?”

The man stepped in front of Darius. He raised the sword Darius held to his throat.

“My name is Ralbadora. I can only offer this oath and my life, with the Mother of All Things as witness. To Darius and Sharline, I promise to protect you both until this life of mine is extinguished.

Darius, my life is now in your hands. You may do what you wish.”

Ralbardora stared firmly at Darius with a long silence. From the (very stiff) back, Orladin lets go of Darius’s shoulder, to Medina raises her disapproval.

“My prince, what are you doing? Don’t tell me you’re not going to stop them, are you?”

“If it’s a sacred oath like that, there’s nothing that people like us can do.”

The blond haired youth took a step back and watched the two quiet men closely. Medina watched with a tight lip, but shook her head as words of incredulousness suddenly burst from her mouth.

“No... Killing each other isn’t.... Darius, don’t do it! If... Yes, if Sharline were here, she’d tell you to stop it too!”

The cold, frozen expression on Darius’s face (and probably body too) slowly disappeared. 

Turning into one of intensity. And as he clenched his teeth, he slowly...

Lowered his sword down.

“Ralbadora, until we reunite with Sharline, I’ll let you live. But if you even dare direct your sword at me, I WILL kill you without mercy.”

Ralbadora nodded.

“For that much I am already grateful. I swear on this oath to never forget it.”

As soon as the tension in the room slackened for a moment, Darius’s wounds came back to remind him of his battle, and let out a small grunt of pain. Orladin helped to keep him steady.

“These injuries will take some time to heal. Let’s rest here for a bit.”

“No, we can’t afford to rest here... It could be a trap, and I’m sure Morpheus already knows we’re here.”

“That could be true, but, your...” Orladin looks to Medina.

“...Is there any other weird contraptions up there?”

“Not really. Between the teleporter to the secret lab, and the stairway upwards, you shouldn’t get lost or anything...”

“Okay, then you should stay here.”

“Wait, but there’s just a little bit left...”

“No. [i don’t wanna translate this but i think orladin is implying in the nicest way that she’s a burden and could be easily used for any trap morpheus has lying around, which is mean and i wish medina would stay but that’s how the cookie crumbles. sigh]”

Medina looks to Darius and Ralbadora, who silently seem to agree with what Orladin said.

“...I understand. I’ll go back, then.”

“I will accompany you to the gondola.”

Said Ralbadora, who stood beside her. Medina gives a smile of appreciation, and goes with him. As her back shrinks into the distance, she suddenly stops and turns around.

“Prince Orladin, Darius... Do you think we can meet again?”

Darius could only frown. Orladin nodded, and started to speak in a happier tone.

“We’ll do our best, so that we may hopefully do just that.”

Medina gave a faint smile, and soon she and Ralbadora disappeared from view.

RIP MEDINA WE NEVER SAW HER AGAIN 2000-2000 

just kidding. we’ll see her later i won’t spoil anything more. but ;___; i’m happy this novel gave medina a better role than that of the game. i quite appreciate her, sickly yet determined. she really does have a life of her own. to you medina, who accompanied this whole chapter with intellect and kindness, who wanted to talk to your grandfather, who wished the safety of trandin and sharline.. know that you will have a happy ending. ....... well

Well.

ANYWAYS

As Medina’s profile disappeared, the smile on Orladin’s face disappeared. A sullen face resurfaced as he took a small pin from his leather bag on his belt. He handed a life elixir off to Darius, to which he finished in one breath. A warm strength returned to him, clearing away the pain of his injuries. Finally, he could breathe a long sigh of relief.

He gave a nod of thanks to olselfks, but noticed that he was frustrated - biting his lips, even.

“...Orladin, is there anything wrong? At all?”

“Just disgusted in myself.”

Sitting upon a pile of junk, he couldn’t help but punch [doesn’t say what but let’s say he punched himself LOL jk probably just punched his open hand]

jk it’s his open hand ya

“Why, why couldn’t we have stopped Morpheus before all this... We knew he was up to something, we should’ve known that, and if we took action, I wouldn’t have lost everything... If I hadn’t been wrapped up in myself, then... I’m just disgusted.”

“...You’re not a time traveller, Orladin. I don’t think normal people could’ve predicted something like this.”

Completely healed of his injuries, Darius sat down on the floor of the room, and [rubbed his right belt. i’m serious. i don’t know what this means. he does have a bag on that side but uh. idk]

“It’s like how I lost Sharline, and what I did after that. Like how Medina wants her humanity back, and what Morpheus is doing. I think I understand it now. 

Somehow, life is all about picking up the pieces of what others did. Or your own. Kinda like ass wiping.”

“Ass wiping, huh...”

[full disclosure the idiom is shirinugu, which means to clean up a mess usually others but literally it’s ass cleaning so yeah. it’s also used jokingly in the beginning of the novel which is probably where darius decides to use it too but REALLY DARIUS. IF YOU’RE SAYING EVERYTHING YOU DID IS LIKE EXPLOSIVE SHITS OR SOMETHING IS SHARLINE LIKE A TOILET PLUNGER]

Upon hearing Darius’s anecdote, Orladin laughed.

“Lots of people run away at the sight of shit, huh? ...Well, myself included, I’ve run away from many things. Even with all my willpower now, it’s barely keeping me from running.”

Taking a breath, Orladin sat quietly for a bit, before looking down slightly as he spoke again.

“Darius, I feel like I can trust you. You really are my last resort against Morpheus.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. The mercenary thing and all, no worries, I get it.”

“....No, it’s not that. I’m just... Annoyed at myself [again lol] for having to rely on you, you and your... That thing... 

I... Your... I’m afraid of the power your Crest has.”

“I know, I’ve heard that plenty of times. No matter how nice people are, they’ll always say that when they see it. Not really a lot of people who get along with Mister Plague here.”

“......Darius. I told you a lie earlier. 

The one who defeated the Legendary Mercenary... It was you.”

“What did you say? But he knocked me out, didn’t he?”

“Yes, you were...” Orladin looked up at Darius with a straight face.

“But, after that, you got up... And started floating. And you started fighting again. And you won.”

“I... I did?”

“Mhm. Krisalis somehow, she knew about it too. Even the Legendary Mercenary, who could break huge rocks with ease, he saw your power as equal to his... 

Crest... Krisalis... Demon... That power that surpassed normal humans... I was terrified. And so, i hid in your shadow, for what did I know? 

Though I wanted to fight Morpheus, to use you instead...! It’s all a mess.”

Using the hidden power he didn’t even know he had - and Krisalis knew this too. Is that why she followed him around?

Darius couldn’t find any words to say, only looking aimlessly at the ground. A painfully long silence hung in the air... Until Orladin broke it again.

“Sorry, I.. I shouldn’t have said that. I know you don’t really want to think about your Crest, and all...”

“No, it’s better that I know this.” Darius looked down at his right hand, wrapped in a tight fist. Eyes of anger looking at his mark of anger.

“The fact that i didn’t know before, and this thing led me around possessed, I’m sorry.”

THEY SHOULD’VE BANGED NOT GONNA LIE ANYMORE

Suddenly, the sound of footsteps could be heard. A shadow from afar, Ralbadora’s, approached the two silent men. Darius got up, and looked at Orladin.

“What should I do now?”

[“Well.. You were the one who said that Morpheus knew where we are, and that he’d rush to our location immediately. I thought he said this i was so smart until google translate made it make more sense]

“Well, you’re the one who brought us this far. We’re going to fight Morpheus, aren’t we? Though I don’t have a shred of royal honour anymore, I can’t guarantee I can protect you with that...”

Darius raised his right fist lightly. “All because of this scary thing, huh? Come on, decide like a proper royal, won’t you?”

Orladin was silent for a moment more, then as if shaking something off, quickly got up from his spot.

“Of course I’ll go along with you. And it’s fine to forget about me in the middle of the battle - I’ll try my best to protect you [or at least do something about it]”

ONE PAGE LEFT TO GO HOO. SORRY IF I BLUDGEONED EVERYTHING ORLADIN AND DARIUS SAID

As the three walked a short length, they found the next room to be narrow, long, and probably a storage room. The area contained another kind of transfer device like the previous one, though without a hint of Palmira energy and equally just as quiet. 

THIS IS ALL JUST BUILDING DESCRIPTIONS. THERE’S LIKE NICE ENGRAVINGS ON THE WALL. THERE’S STAIRS THAT LEAD UP AND DOWN. DARIUS GOES UP WITHOUT LOOKING BACK. THE STAIRS TURN AND KEEP GOING UP. WHAT IS THIS EVEN LIKE THE OH MAYBE IT’S THE FINAL FLOOR BEFORE THE LAB YEAH MAYBE I KNOW THIS. THERE’S DOORS BUT NO ONE CARES

Aside from the difficult breathing coming from the three, the only thing they could hear was the wind that beat down on the stairways. Even the monsters were too afraid to attack, and as they reached the final steps, a door engraved with the Alcrest stood before them.

The door didn’t seem to have a lever anywhere to open it. Darius curiously touched the door, to which its left and right sides opened...

The three men, who held onto their weapons tight, were greeted with green skies and a sea of clouds beneath. The wind whipped up the clouds into a haze of white. Beyond the door and before the green skies stood the tower with a rocky path leading to it, and at the path’s end was a building... A small round building. And there were somemagicalthingsidklikeacircularsdiskIDKBROIDK

“If it’s as Medina said, then up ahead is Morpheus’s secret lab.” 

okayok darius nodded and then walked briskly but the glowing letters on the DISK THING IDK IT GLOWED SO ORLADIN WAS LIKE

“OH NO DARIUS BE CAREFUL YOU’RE GONNA BE BLOWN OFF”

so he grabs onto him but ralbadora just backs off he knows things apparently

“Medina said that this transport device will take us to the entrance of the lab. from there there’s rooms for reference, etc, idk man, stuff for experiments, smaller rooms, idk, idk BRO IDK”

“But, once we enter, it’s the rooms on the sides that’ll have the people we need to save.” IDK

ralbadora is quiet as orladin probably continues on what he needs to say

“There’ll probably be those monsters there protecting Morpheus, too. That kid from before. So, Darius, we’ll have to depend on you. Ralbadora and I, we’ll rescue Sharline and Sienna (who are on opposite sides i think as the game is). If we can’t find them in those rooms, then we’ll rush to the back to find them. And once we do, we’re taking them back out to safety.

...Is that okay?”

The three men nodded, and entered the magic circle. The circle glowed with soft yellow light, surrounding the men and TELEPORTED THEM OR SOMETHING

HOO

IT’S DONE

AFTER LIKE

FIVE MONTHS

[moistwithgender]

Curry Read 60s Marvel, King-Size, Nuff Said

According to my tag, it took me about a month to get through this decade (eight years, technically), spending most of my free time reading. I’ve been following Comic Book Herald’s “My Marvelous Year” reading guide because it seemed like the quickest way through while cutting out the chaff. This was not...consistently the case. But, I’m still glad I followed it because this started out with me just chewing through early Spider-Man in black and white (don’t do this to yourself, nice flat colors do wonders for these older stories). I’m gonna go ahead and give the disclaimer that because I was following a speedy reading guide, I missed a lot of stuff, so if you know some really good issues I missed feel free to say so.

I’m afraid to type all this out because it’s a lot and idk where to start!

Okay well I have one idea of where to start.

Fantastic Four

This is Marvel’s best series up to this point and the fact that we’ve had so many garbage movies is a tragedy (don’t @ me about The Incredibles, I know). The FF comics are consistently the most fun, the weirdest, and the most creative.

Going through my reading list, I had to skip parts of FF, which is probably going to be where more of the good stuff was. Though, I will say that I prefer the latter half of the decade over the first half. FF started off with Mole Man, Skrulls (something I first realized was a thing back when they showed up in MvC3), The Puppet Master, The Red Ghost... The first few years of FF was probably best whenever it involved Namor and Doctor Doom. I don’t think anyone’s gonna argue with that. The latter half had The Inhumans, Galactus, The Silver Surfer, Black Panther, the Negative Zone... a whole lot of neat stuff! I actually missed the introduction of the Negative Zone, so all of a sudden Reed’s just got a portal to A Very Bad Place in the middle of his lab and he keeps opening it whenever things get slightly inconvenient. Stop doing that, Reed.

Highlights: - Namor being Namor. Usually at his best as a fish out of water (heh) in human society. With his absurd monarchic pride, and his occasional anti-hero tendencies, he’s...kind of like a wet Vegeta in hot pants. - The Thing. For a while he was back and forth as a character I liked or tolerated, and his incessant backtalk would occasionally become one of those “telling an unfunny joke until eventually it’s hilarious” things. - The Watcher. A being so committed to his vow to never interfere with the fate of the universe that he jack-knifes out of his lane every single time he gets the chance. EXCEPT FOR THE TIME HE WATCHED THE BIRTH OF GALACTUS AND DID NOTHING. THANKS UATU. - The fact that Doctor Doom is a Romani character being written by Jewish authors. That’s a lot to unpack. - The Sandman. Wait, you say, you mean that one Spider-Man villain who was played by the guy from the sitcom Wings? Yeah, it turns out once he’s done being a Sinister Six villain, he goes on to harass the Fantastic Four and gets his own Jack Kirby style super villain outfit!

Look at that badboy. Also he teams up with an angry furry made of explosions from the hell dimension that is the negative zone. - The Inhumans. All of these kids are cool, Lockjaw is an adorable giant bulldog that can teleport across infinite distances, and even Maximus is some sort of play on Shakespeare villains. The fact that differentiating these guys from mutants is really awkward. The short version (if I have it right) is that mutants are born with a unique x-gene, and inhumans come from a hidden society that commonly did genetic manipulation on its citizens at birth. - Galactus. He is arguably the weirdest thing Marvel has in this decade. A thirty foot tall man who flies around the universe and eats planets. He’s literally so powerful that he and the narrative both treat his eating habits as natural, and any victims that happen to get in the way as unfortunate but unintended sacrifices because GALACTUS MUST NOT DIE. Galactus is a vegan metaphor (maybe). - The Silver Surfer. The shiniest, angstiest boy in the multiverse. Originally from a planet where global society had literally hit its logical utopic conclusion, he was bored as shit. Galactus comes along, the entire planet gets spooked and blows itself the fuck up on accident, and Norrin Rad agrees to be Galactus’ herald and pick out planets safe to eat if he leaves his planet alone. Sometime after that he gets punished for trying to fight Galactus, and is punished to remain on Earth, where he would play around with being a very obvious Jesus analogy for a while. - That time where a guy impersonates The Thing in order to kill Reed, and then ends up getting respect for Reed and sacrificing himself atop a meteorite speeding off into an atmosphere of explosions. Really fucked up issue, honestly. - Black Panther. Wakanda is not as cool as it would eventually be portrayed, and BP’s first appearance is as an antagonist (he kidnaps the FF and hunts them for sport), but he has a fucking slick cape. - That time Doctor Doom stole The Silver Surfer’s infinite cosmic power and nearly fucked up everything for everybody for four straight issues. Also he got into a fist fight with the Thing, which is like...hell yeah. - The Negative Zone. WHY DO YOU HAVE A WINDOW TO HELL IN YOUR HOUSE, REED. - The Kree. I have no idea why the Kree are just white people in space. Bad move imo, even Namor’s race are mostly blue people. Anyway, there’s a rad fight with a sentry robot, and a decent introduction to Ronan the Accuser, who you might remember was the (reasonably overshadowed) villain in the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 1 movie, where he is blue. - Psycho Man. This guy has a remote control that makes you feel emotions and that’s kinda dumb but more importantly he’s from a microscopic universe and controls a non-microscopic robot version of himself to fight the FF and the implications of all that is absurd. - Reed goes into the negative zone (again) to try and find something he knows nothing about that might help his pregnant wife and unborn child survive the gamma radiation they still have in their bodies. He gets pretty lucky. Jesus christ, dude.

The worst parts of the FF this decade is probably every time Susan gets the shaft because she’s a woman, whether it’s her being talked down to by Reed or whether it’s her being written as way more concerned about ~lady things~ when things are going to hell. In the issue where her life is on the line and the baby is coming and Reed has to go into the negative zone, she doesn’t even make an appearance until like the last page. Susan deserves better. My reading guide actually didn’t recommend any 1969 issues of FF? I wonder what was going on...

Oh, skrulls impersonating 1920s gangsters and doing super-human trafficking, of course. Well, let’s move on.

The Incredible Hulk (Tales to Astonish)

I have had a soft spot for the Sulk ever since...probably the 2003 three Ang Lee film? Where I realized that 1) Bruce has bad dad issues and no one likes him, and 2) Hulk isn’t just a big boy, he is really fast and jumps crazy far and that’s a physical concept my teenage brain had never considered. I hadn’t even considered liking the Hulk growing up because I was so uncomfortable with almost all expressions of masculinity and machismo. My mom in fact was the one who told me “Don’t you want to see the Hulk? He’s big and scary like a bad guy, but he’s a good guy!” and I assume that’s what helped change my mind?

Anyway, Hulk has had a rough time in terms of popularity as well. His magazine lasted some six or seven issues before being canceled and his stories would continue, shorter, in Tales to Astonish, alongside Ant-Man (and eventually Namor’s own series). In the last few years of the decade he’d get a new magazine starting with The Incredible Hulk #102 (following Tales to Astonish #101... comic numbering is extremely bad), and...it’s okay so far! In the modern era, Hulk had a cartoon I never watched, a few nonstarter films, there was that series with Lou Ferrigno I know nothing about... He seems to always function best as a side hero. It doesn’t help that all the villains in his series are, like. Weird? Not like FF crazy weird, just like weird and not seemingly a great match for Hulk himself. Most of the ones that come to mind are dudes who are also mutated by gamma radiation or something else (and sometimes also green? why is the green supposed to be a common thread, that feels coincidental).

Which reminds me, Bruce is almost never present in what I’ve read so far. It’s just Hulk, usually talking way more than feels natural for him (it took a while for him to start speaking mostly in the third person). As a result, Hulk is usually given a very limited range of characterization and expected to coast on that, and it doesn’t often work. You have to put Hulk in casts and settings that complement him. For a while there he has a support character in Rick Jones, a (very uninteresting) teen boy who eventually can’t keep up with the increasingly antagonistic Hulk, bounces over to Captain America as a ward, eventually is confused by a cosmic cube-wielding, Cap-impersonating Red Skull, and fucks off on his own. He is immediately possessed by, and becomes a host for, Mar-Vell/Captain Marvel. I do not give a single fuck about Rick Jones.

In the earliest issues, the Hulk is gray, and also...just a non-furry werewolf. HE changes at night, until issue #102 retconned this.

Highlights: - That first issue has some really nice panels but I’m gonna say that’s all Jack Kirby’s doing. - Ends up harassing the FF, Spider-Man, the Avengers (after being one of them and then getting buttmad and running off), the Silver Surfer, the US military (regularly)... - Hulk goes to the far dystopic future?? He gets back I guess. - Hulk goes to Asgard! This is arguably the most interesting place to put him because all Odin’s warriors try to fight him and then decide lol this guy’s cool let’s go hang out. Meanwhile, Loki keeps fucking with him. But then the Enchantress and the Executioner become the villains and things get kinda boring again. - The Leader (that’s actually the name of a villain) makes a big robot and Hulk throws it into a volcano and then activates said volcano with his FISTS to fuck it up. Then he manually diverts a nuclear missile into the atmosphere after suddenly caring about people even though he has no reason to. Shrug! - Hulk goes to Attilan, the hidden nation of the Inhumans! There’s potential for interesting stuff here, but it’s mostly wasted by a full cast of extremely uninteresting one-off characters. This is all in a double length annual issue with a gorgeous cover by Jim Steranko, but the issue itself is drawn by Marie Severin. She does good stuff! But Steranko’s work is gorgeous.

Whatever!

The Mighty Thor (Journey into Mystery)

Thor’s winged helmet is really dumb, goodnight everybody!

Okay but yeah Thor started out in the Journey into Mystery magazine, and I guess I’d describe his stuff as... Dungeons and Dragons by Marvel? I struggle with it aesthetically but I like some of the ideas. Mjolnir is fucking cool, Asgard is both a real place and an planet (a flat one, even?), fucking Olympus is also a place and Hercules exists, Loki is... well, Loki hasn’t come into his own yet, but we’ll get there one day. On the other hand, some of the villains are dull as dishwater and a number of the good guys took their time getting interesting. Clearly there was some appeal, because he did eventually get his own magazine starting with Thor #126, I think? There’s that bad numbering again.

A big weird problem with Thor is that originally he has a secret identity. Like. Donald Blake is a surgeon who needs to use a cane to walk, and he goes hiking by himself and gets lost I guess and finds a stick and it turns out oops it’s Mjolnir and he becomes Thor! And Thor is not just a new identity, but also a person that is both the Thor of Norse myth, and the actual son of Odin up in Asgard and has been so forever and aaaaaaa

Donald Blake is not super important. He mostly exists to give Thor a weakness in that he can’t let go of his hammer for 60 seconds or he’ll turn back into a guy with a PhD. Eventually, in the latter half of the 60s, they add on to his backstory in a way I like, by saying “oh no no, he was always Thor. At one point Odin punished him by sending him to Earth with amnesia and in the guise of a handicapped guy getting through medical school. For some reason.” Which really only makes his dual identities more confusing, and I actually dig that. The MCU does not fuck with this at all, and I’m assuming the comics throw it out in the decades to come. Also, this semi-retcon was not included in the reading guide, I found it on accident. Anyway.

Highlights: - Thor joins the Avengers! I mean, duh, of course he does. He eventually leaves because he’s too popular and needs his own series or something. He occasionally pops back in to do cool stuff. - Thor accidentally ends up on Olympus and gets into a big sweaty fight with Hercules. They decide they are pals. This was an annual issue. - Thor goes into space! This is where things get good, and I really like Thor’s archaic ass as a cosmic sci-fi hero. Great juxtaposition. - Thor meets/fights Ego, the Living Planet! Okay, I said Galactus was the weirdest thing, and I was wrong. Ego is. Ego is almost as described on the tin, because he is actually described as an entire “bioverse”, and capable of changing the entirety of his physical makeup at any time. It is intensely cool. He’s also kind of evil and wants to spread out to control everywhere. Also, Thor makes friends with a nice recording robot and becomes an ally of robot rights. - Thor dies! A guy with a giant crowbar is accidentally given asgardian power by Loki, and then kills Thor because Thor has lost his power because Odin is punishing him again. And then Hela shows up as the goddess of death and says hey Thor. And he says hold on I got this and gets back in his body and saves the day and it’s fine. Hela does what she does best, stand there and look cool and do nothing else.

god she’s hot

- Thor rescues Ego from Galactus? Kind of on accident, he’s just trying to save the people inbetween who got their planets ate. Actually though, this arc fucking kicks, and he hangs out with the recorder bot too. In the end, Ego is grateful and lets the planetless nomads live on him. - Thor hangs out with Galactus and listens to his tragic backstory! Then Thor decides he’s gonna hit him anyway, and Odin decides “that’s enough for this story arc” and whisks Thor off to fight a robot instead. - Volstagg. - Volstagg.

- VOLSTAGG.

- Thor’s dudes go to the human world and there are shenanigans. It is good.

The Amazing Spider-Man

We all knew this was coming. Marvel’s own Pikachu. Possibly the most popular superhero alive (well, second to Batman anyway). And probably the hero I cared about the most growing up. We got associated a lot because we share a name. Spidey is probably the coolest idea for a superhero anyone has ever had, and they better CGI gets, the better his fights look. I do not care how many QTEs are gonna be in that new videogame, I wanna look at Spidey swing. Spider-man is just cool cool cool cool.

Early Spider-Man comics are fucking boring! Goodnight everybody!

Okay just kidding sort of. Spider-Man takes a while to pick up, in my opinion, and I’m 100% positive part of that is because I’ve seen these early stories retold in better and better definition so many times. I watched the cartoon as a kid, but the Sam Raimi movies are probably what comes to mind when I think of Spider-Man. Steve Ditko nailed a fucking iconic costume design, and did a great job of visually communicating Spidey’s agility on paper. But, in the earliest issues there was rarely any variation in panel size and shape, and action scenes were laid out like diagrams. Both those factors, along with the fact that each panel had dialogue because Peter kind of never shuts up, meant that pacing slowed to a crawl, and I had to chew through those issues. Also sometimes he just fought, like, mobsters with lassos. Jesus christ that’s boring. As the decade goes on, we start getting some good stuff, and to be completely honest, I’m looking forward to the weird dumb 90s stuff the most?

Highlights: - Peter has a persecution complex and uses his secret identity to be an asshole! Even after Peter’s iconic and still very well written origin story, he spends a lot of time harassing people, good and bad. He regularly breaks into JJ’s office in costume and makes fun of him, he crashes the Torch’s party to beat him up and flirt with his girlfriend, he breaks into the Baxter building to fight the FF in hopes they’ll recruit him with pay, he...gets into an argument with black students who are very passionate about affordable housing? He wasn’t even in costume for that one. Jesus, Peter, go to a therapist. - Nobody likes Spider-Man! Kind of makes sense why he’s got those personality issues, though those start with jocks calling him a nerd (he’s a nerd). Half the city doesn’t trust him, he works for a newspaper that is dedicated to anti-Spidey propaganda (Peter, you’re partially at fault for this), even the X-Men just assume he’s a bad guy, and that’s usually a problem they have to deal with. - Really appropriate villains! Wow! The Vulture matches his high up action, Doc Ock is both another victim of weird science and an intellectual rival. Also, like, their namesakes have a lot of legs. The Lizard is...Florida Man. Maybe the better argument is that many of these villains are memorable, in a decade that featured a concerning amount of “large humanoid monster/robot” baddies in all of the running series. - Like the Green Goblin. Who knew that would be Spider-Man’s Joker? Maybe that’s a bad comparison. Also bats and clowns aren’t usually connected with each other. Where was I going with this. - Spider-Man tries to quit the superhero gig twice, I think? He’s the only Marvel hero to consider this, as far as I know. Part of Peter’s appeal is that not only is he a young adult, unlike the rest of Marvel’s adult cast, but he’s also financially disadvantaged, has a non-nuclear model family, and has to look out for his often ailing Aunt. He has to work a side job while going to school while fighting bad guys, and it’s a lot more interesting than what Tony Stark’s doing up to this point. This has all been said so many times by so many people, but it’s an obligatory mention. - Peter donates blood to Aunt May at one point and accidentally gets a radioactive particle in her body. OOPS. Spider-Man goes on a rampage to find an antidote and tears a metal stairwell off its hinges. He also, like, completely destroys a villain’s underwater base and nearly doesn’t get out himself. - The Green Goblin discovers Peter is Spider-Man! Most of the Marvel heroes have this anxiety, but it never ends up a problem, so this is pretty big. The Goblin kidnaps him in broad daylight, ties him to a chair in a secluded place, and infodumps his origin story that he’s actually the father of Peter’s college roommate and is kind of very unhinged and obsessed with Spider-Man? In the end, Gobby gets amnesia and forgets the whole supervillain and mental illness thing and turns back into a good dad. - Spidey goes to the Casbah! Yeah, go figure. He learns his parents were traitors to America, and it fucks him up so much he flies there to find the truth. He ends up exploding the Red Skull and learns his parents were actually double double agents and were spying for America and so things are a-okay!

also peter kills a dude with a missile

- That aforementioned thing about affordable housing happens! Some black college students are unhappy that the university is taking old dorms that could be used as low rent housing for students and instead giving it to visiting alumni, and start a big protest and the narrative actually pins them as sympathetic even when they get overzealous and physical? I’m...kind of surprised, to be honest. Not used to seeing this at all.

Ant-Man, and...other identities. (Tales to Astonish)

ima keep it real with u founding member of the avengers hank pym, this will not improve marvel’s declining sales

This guy is a goddamn mess.

People like to say “pfffft there’s an ant-man? that’s goofy! that’s the weirdest thing ever! that’s a bad idea!” and buddy let me tell you, Hank Pym has a career specializing in bad ideas. Let’s list them!

- Adopt a young woman while she is grieving over the loss of her father and take her in as both a crime-fighting ward (The Wasp!) and also a love interest. Feel bad about it for about five minutes so it’s okay. - Develop a “growth capsule” that allows you to turn huge and decide to adopt two super hero identities, Ant-Man and Giant-Man. Assume this will not confuse anyone. - Eventually do weird science to make it so you can grow and shrink at will. Assume this will not have negative repercussions on your body. - Change the name Giant-Man to Goliath because you feel like Giant-Man is a dumb name. Confuse everyone for multiple issues. - Get stuck as a twelve-foot tall 90s beverage mascot lookin ass motherfucker (you are terrible at costume design, hank) and get real mad at everyone all the time about it. - Create an evil robot called Ultron and forget about it. Oops! Surely this will be fine.

IT’LL BE FINE

- Fail to relate to your robot-grandson-turned-avenger The Vision. Be a bad grandpa. - Inhale chemicals and get all fucked up on temporary schizophrenia (???), adopting a second personality. Call yourself Yellowjacket, claim to have killed Hank, and kidnap your girlfriend and force her to make out with you. - When assaulting your girlfriend makes her, uh, somehow realize that you are Hank, she will rope you into marrying her, thereby...uh...legally cuckolding yourself I guess? Realize you are Hank during/after the wedding, and be perfectly fine with this egregious violation of consent. Nothing about this will have lasting negative consequences. - Adopt the identity of Yellowjacket, and abandon Goliath. Continue to confuse people. On the bright side, finally have a nice costume. - Make a new Goliath costume in celebration of refusing to ever be Goliath again (WHY), and store it and a beaker of growth serum (WHY) in an unlocked locker out in the open (WHY). Hawkeye will steal it and become the new Goliath II.

So far that’s everything about Hank-Man! Stay tuned to see more of this trainwreck.

Iron Man (Tales of Suspense)

YO THIS DUDE SUCKS

I really like Iron Man’s origin story and his overall concept but the tech culture would not advance far enough to match it for a while. Also this was in the era of the Vietnam War and so Tony’s greatest enemy is The Mandarin, an extremely awkward asian stereotype and I! Ain’t! Got! Time! For! That!

Avengers

The Avengers are, at their most interesting, characters already in their own magazines. At their worst, they’re a bunch of characters no one cares about, fighting villains no one cares about, with last second ass-pull victories. There was a brief period there were I suspected the Avengers magazine was going to be true gristle of Marvel I was gonna have to chew on for hours to get through. Thankfully we are eventually given Marvel’s goodest boy, Vision. After that, things start to pick up a lot.

bless him and his little intangible heart

Highlights: - Captain America is found frozen in an ice cube! He’s been in cryo for twenty years, wow how the world has changed. I guess. Another case of time passing eventually making an origin story better. At this point Marvel has revived three 1940s comics properties: Cap, Namor, and the Human Torch (the lattermost in this case being an entirely different person). - Kang the Conqueror! Kang is a hell of a villain concept. He’s a time traveler who once ruled ancient Egypt as a pharaoh named Rama Tut and, uh, will eventually rule over Earth in the 41st century. He keeps harassing the 20th century for some reason. Also he is hint hint maybe related to Doctor Doom, I guess. - Hawkeye joins, having previously been a one-off villain, and proceeds to be an asshole to everyone forever. Eventually he becomes Goliath II because why not I guess. - Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver join, having recently bailed on Magneto’s Brotherhood, and they are...kinda boring, tbh. Wanda’s “hex power” isn’t very well defined (it makes unlucky things happen), and neither of them have much personality yet. At one point they fight Doctor Doom and he uses a machine to cancel out the hex power (???) and outpaces Quicksilver without using any enhancements (???). Some of these issues really blow. Quicksilver’s costume is lazy as hell. - Hercules joins for some reason, even though he says he doesn’t wanna be part of a team.  - Magneto does some sneaky bullshit and tricks Quicksilver into thinking someone at the UN shoots at Wanda on purpose. Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch join Magneto again because fuck normies. - The Avengers are killed (sort of) by the Grim Reaper! Their newest member, the Black Panther, rescues them.

Pick a color you trilobite.

- The Vision joins, Ultron-5 is introduced, and things finally settle in for the good stuff. - Ultron rebuilds himself in adamantium as Ultron-6 and replaces his legs with a rocket chariot thing. No one is brave enough to tell him it looks dumb.

no shut up its cool and i can fit still fit through doorways

immediately the next chapter he re-rebuilds himself with legs and calls himself Ultimate Ultron. mmmhm.

sounds like somebody was havin some self esteem issues about their body. sounds like a talk that ultron and their dad hank pym could probably relate to each other over.

- The decade ends with an arc where Kang abducts the Avengers and ends up himself wrapped up in a proxy wargame with the Grandmaster. Kang uses the Avengers as his pawns, and the GM creates four superhumans that he totally didn’t get from DC no sir. Perfectly original characters, do not steal.

I just...I just really feel like that last one could have used a few more minutes in the boardroom.

- Even better, the second half of the arc pits the avengers against Captain America, Namor, and the Human Torch...in their 1940s renditions!

Hank even comments on the fact that Namor’s diction is different. It’s great.

The Uncanny X-Men

So I grew up in the 90s, and despite never really engaging with comics, I was quite aware that Marvel’s hottest shit at the time was Spider-Man and X-Men. The X-Men had a slow start, but once they caught on, they never really dropped off. Actually, I think they might be less popular now? They’re at least not the ever-present icons they used to be, and I suspect that is partially to do with middling-quality movies diluting the brand.

But, the appeal is there from the start. Children born unique but feared by society are adopted by Patrick Stewart and spirited away to a special boarding school that is secretly dedicated to teaching them to use their powers for the sake of fighting evil. This was the proto-Harry Potter, though Snape’s gonna win no contests against Wolverine.

Unfortunately, we don’t have Wolverine, yet. We’ve got...these guys!

(Not pictured: Marvel Girl/Jean Grey)

The creative potential in mutant design has not quite picked up yet, so the main team (of five teens and an old man) includes such marvels as Guy With Wings, and Guy What Got Big Feet. Seriously, Beast’s feet get way too much attention.

I cannot wait until you are a blue cat instead of this.

I wish I could comment on the political commentary on the series, but it hasn’t quite started up yet, whether that is intentional or not. The rampant fear of mutants is there, we’ve even had a Sentinels arc, but it’s mostly just surface stuff. I had a lot to say about Spider-Man, so I feel kind of silly coming up short here!

Highlights: - Magneto. Despite the slow start this series is going through, Magneto is immediately introduced and has his wonderful costume design and his super threatening magnetism powers. I am a bit confused as to how his magnetism affects all things, not just metal, but magnets are an irl mystery and I’m willing to let it slide. - The Juggernaut. The two-issue arc introducing Juggz himself are effectively told, if not sliiightly silly in structure. The first issue has the X-Men building up defenses because he’s coming, and later, as he tears through each single one, unseen to both the kids and the reader, Xavier explains his and the Juggernaut’s tumultuous childhood together. It builds the tension really well, but it’s a bit funny by the fourth time the X-Men are saying “we gotta go meet him before he breaks in here where we are!” and Xavier’s like “I’M NOT DONE TELLING MY ORIGIN STORY.” - The Sentinels. This is probably the last interesting arc in the 60s, published as early as ‘65. It’s almost the last material in the reading guide, next to an issue where they all get into a fight with Spider-Man for no reason. If I understand correctly, the Sentinels are later depicted as humongous robots, where here they’re closer to ten feet tall or so. I’d always thought the idea of “a bunch of mass produced robots designed to kill mutants” seemed uncreative growing up, especially given that they don’t, like, have an x-gene suppressing ray or anything, but it works well enough in the moment. - Wholly unnecessary amounts of sexual harassment towards Jean Grey. All the boys have the hots for her (well, maybe not Iceman (pun not intended)), including even Xavier saying that she’s attractive when she first arrives. What the fuck, dudes.

X-MANS IS CANCELED

Doctor Strange (Strange Tales)

The reading guide included a ton of Strange Tales to read, including an 11-issue arc at one point. Good grief it was a lot.

Steve Ditko, of early Spider-Man, did the art for Strange for a good while, and I found that contrast between the diagram like action of Spider-Man, and the much more fantastic illustrations of Strange to be the most interesting thing. Eventually Marie Severin would take over as the penciller, and it would take a bit of time to adjust, but the more abstract it got, the better. Also, I don’t really like the footie pajamas Severin draws him in.

This is Steve Ditko. He has thin lines and exact shapes and while you don’t see it here, his magic fights are very clear and easy to follow.

This is Marie Severin. In comparison her lines are thick and smudged (well, okay, we have to give credit to the inkers for these as well, though I think she did her own inking?), but is capable of uniquely evocative images like this. Her action scenes are harder to follow, but she is equally capable of the kind of surreality that appears in Doctor Strange’s comics.

Also, while the topic has been touched on a lot, especially around the time the movie came out, it still bears repeating that Doctor Strange is built on a foundation of cultural appropriation and mystic eastern boogie woogie nonsense. I’m parroting the words of people that know this much better than me, but it’s a problematic and somewhat common trope that media will depict a white protagonist in a foreign setting who not just excels but surpasses everyone else, particularly peers who are native to the setting. At best it’s well-meaning and oblivious, at worst it perpetuates a narrow worldview where everything has to revolve around white people.

Anyway, when the comics focus more on the dread dark dimension of Dormammu, most of these problems aren’t around, and you get lots of fun and bizarre imagery and goofy spell casting.

Highlights: - Dormammu. He’s a prideful otherworldy being who refuses to be caught explicitly going back on his word when beaten at a game of skill, but easily breaks down and claws at loopholes with which he can attempt his petty revenge against Strange. He is also portrayed as a necessary evil, in that he uses his power to erect a barrier that keeps his servants safe from mindless laser-eye cyclops monsters that are just perpetually punching each other. That conflict makes for complicated situations where usurping him may be more harm than help. Also his head is always on fire, and that’s cool. - Trippy visuals. Ditko’s backgrounds lean closer to pop art with abstract shapes, bright colors, and twisting pathways. Severin’s art, if I can remember (there hasn’t been a lot yet) leans closer to mysterious and somewhat vague settings. I’m describing it very poorly.

That’s kind of it for Strange, I guess!

Daredevil

oh my god how many of these have I done now im so tired

I haven’t read much Daredevil yet! The reading guide has given me some seven issues so far out of the full decade, and while there has been some good stuff, I don’t know if I can draw a big mental picture.

DD is, theoretically, in that same category as Captain America, where rather than being a super powerful character, he is merely very very good at what he has. DD got hit in the face with a radioactive dildo or something and it blinded him but enhanced his other senses so intensely that if you sneeze he can tell what brand of nasal spray you use. Also, he’s super acrobatic and has a swiss army walking cane that he can use to do just about anything. And he’s a working attorney. Fuck you and your eyeballs, Batman.

Marvel has not begun to embrace noir, and as I understand it, that seems to be the genre most people know DD for aligning with. As a result, things are kinda silly! DD’s first outfit was yellow and he fought a man who had robot stilts in broad daylight.

Highlights: - Killgrave, the...Purple Man.

I can’t believe this is how Jessica Jones starts.

Uhh, Killgrave got some pheromones or something embedded in his skin on accident and now everyone just does what he says to no matter what. He’s purple now, too. This has not been taken to its terrifying possibilities yet, but I’m very excited to see where it goes. - Daredevil fights Namor. Okay, seriously? Seriously? This is my favorite issue, no joke. Namor busts out of the ocean demanding a lawyer (Matt himself) so he can sue the human race. Shenanigans ensue, and a trial is attempted, but ultimately falls apart when Namor decides “you know what? fuck this I’m gonna start breakin shit”. Matt changes into the DD costume and takes on Namor with everything he can think of, including construction equipment, but fails.

Out of respect, Namor leaves.

- Stilt-Man.

Stilt-Man. (Stilt-Man eventually shrinks into a quantum state that he remains trapped in for months until he suddenly isn’t.)

- And finally, Mike Murdock. In an attempt to ward off suspicion that he might be Daredevil, Matt...pretends to be his twin brother who is never in the same room at the same time as him. As Mike, he is a cocky jerk to everyone and insists that he is Daredevil. And people believe him.

As you would expect (for once), this nearly gets people killed.

Nick Fury (Strange Tales, Agent of Shield)

NICK FURY IS THE BEST GOD DAMN SONNUVA BITCH IN THE WHOLE MARVEL LINE UP

Nick Fury is like if you took James Bond and made it not suck. You get to keep all the gadgets and world traveling but swap out the “ooh, I’m so cool and serious” with kicking open doors and telling fascists to go fuck themselves. Most importantly, it’s a near-parody of the overwrought machismo that the series runs on. It’s so busy getting from point A to point B in as fun a way as possible that it’s impossible to take seriously.

Actually, it might be like if Battle Tendency was less sympathetic to real world fascists. Which is to say, it’s the pinnacle of evolution.

Look me in the eye and tell me this isn’t a JJBA action scene. (Also, Jim Steranko blessed us with a shirtless Fury in latex pants.)

A highlights list would be ridiculously long because I love these comics, so I’ll instead focus on one thing in particular.

- Jim Steranko’s art is gorgeous

Yes, these are all Nick Fury title pages.

Captain America (Tales of Suspense)

Steve is just now starting to get interesting, mostly through his own series, but he’s had plenty of time for notable moments throughout his screentime (pagetime?) in Tales of Suspense and Avengers. While talking about Daredevil I mentioned Captain America and how he’s less of a nigh-supernatural being like most heroes, and more of a particularly exceptional human. He hits really hard, but more impressive is his stamina and agility. Something that I’ve liked in the MCU is how they’ve portrayed him as always capable of what is just one step beyond what people think is possible of him. He can’t fly, but he’ll do as many impossible leaps as necessary. He’s not super strong (well, not to the degree of Spider-Man), but he sure can run for miles, and he knows his way around that shield.

I feel like a lot of what I’m writing is surface level readings of these comics, but the characteristics of Steve that really identify him haven’t quite shown themselves yet, I think. When I think of him, what always comes to mind is that his “american good boy” values take priority over allegiances, and so you’ll see Captain America himself abandon his title if America no longer represents the values of protecting the weak. Steve Rogers is kind of a perfect flawless human (when not written terribly), but that’s pretty okay at the end of the day, when a superhero is more of an icon than a person.

Highlights: - That time the Red Skull got the Cosmic Cube (not the Tesseract), and became a god for like five minutes.

- That time Cap fought a giant baby.

- That time Cap pretended to be dead and then stopped Hydra from burying all the avengers alive even Vision who would...be able to just phase out of the grave. I’m not really sure what the plan there was. - That other time the Red Skull got the cosmic cube and then switched bodies with Cap and they made a lot of facial expressions.

- That time Rick Jones thought Captain America didn’t like him, meanwhile Cap was stranded on a desert island and hanging out with The Falcon and it was cool. Nobody cares about Rick Jones.

Namor, The Sub-Mariner (Tales to Astonish)

I didn’t read a fuck shit about this dude! Sorry!

Captain Marvel

we’re so close to being done

The reading guide gave me nearly nothing on this dude. Issues #1-3 and then #17. He’s a Kree (whoa!) named Mar-Vell (lol) who should be helping to fuck up Earth but ends up liking it and chooses to defend it. He’s got a jet pack and a laser and a really shit costume and he’s NOT BLUE.

Marvy, I need you to move over, the more interesting hero is behind you.

He’s got an asshole commanding officer who keeps trying to get him killed because he wants to fuck his girlfriend and SNORE, I do not care. Come on dude. I have been psyched to learn about 

At some point in-between chapters #3 and #17, and...shit, I’ll just quote wikipedia for this:

After aiding humanity several times, Mar-Vell is found guilty of treason against the Kree Empire and sentenced to death by firing squad. Mar-Vell escapes in a stolen rocket, but becomes lost in space. After drifting for 112 days, he is weak and on the verge of madness. He is manipulated by Ronan the Accuser and Kree Minister Zarek into helping them overthrow the Supreme Intelligence. To better help them, Mar-Vell is given a new costume and enhanced abilities. After the conspiracy is foiled, Mar-Vell tries to return to Earth. On the way, he is hit by a blast of radiation that traps him in the Negative Zone.[16]

The Supreme Intelligence enables Mar-Vell to telepathically contact Rick Jones, which he uses to lead Jones to a set of "nega-bands" at an abandoned Kree base. When Jones puts on the bands and strikes them together, he trades places with Mar-Vell and is encased in a protective aura in the Negative Zone. The pair discover they are able to maintain telepathic contact. Using this method, Mar-Vell can remain in the positive universe for a period of three hours.

well what the fuck that might have been worth reading, thanks reading guide

Anyway, so yeah, Rick Jones! Both of these characters were pretty boring, and mayyybe this will help the both of them. Or not. At least the new costume is cool.

Silver Surfer

IT’S THE LAST ONE THANK GOD

Once again, I don’t have much to say here! I wrote all my thoughts on the surfer up in the Fantastic Four section, so you can read that if you haven’t. The reading guide only gave me three issues to read, though they were quite good. The first was his origin story, which I already wrote about above. The second one was about invisible aliens that manipulated the surfer and people’s distrust of him (part of this is because he keeps occasionally attacking humans because he thinks it’ll make them be nicer to each other). And in the third issue, Mephisto kidnaps his long lost girlfriend from his home planet. It works out kind of badly for everyone involved.

begone, thought

And that’s everything for the 60s. Phew! This took a long time and I don’t know if it was worth it. Let me know if you read it, if you enjoyed it, if you pity me, whatever. I got more comics to read.