#idk my melatonin is kicking in

[circuscountdowns]

@lambment it’s their foolish day!!!! fr fr

[corpsentry]

there’s something so epic about hetero chinese period dramas and i think one part of it is that there is absolutely nowhere in the narrative i could exist.

lately i’ve been on a western media detox— i’ve cleaned english language music out of my playlists and have never been able to stomach western dramas anyway, so that part is easy— which might seem funny, because if i’m in singapore and i hate it and i won’t touch american music then what’s left? the answer is the false binarism of chinese period dramas, at least for me. the badly written ones are misogynistic and stupid and the better ones are less of those things, but regardless the world that emerges is clean-cut and easy to parse. there’s someone to root for and someone to hate. there’s a girl and a boy. there’s the comedy and the drama, the sheer thick drama, the music that signals to you precisely how to feel before the scene even starts going

try to jam a fifth culture transnational transgender they/them with 2 mental illness and 1 autoimmune disease into this world and it simply doesn’t work. and that’s kinda epic lolzers! it’s like watching high fantasy, or super hardcore sci-if. it both represents a simulacrum of the real world and is so far from the reality you know that you understand it as a hypothetical universe, one that disincludes you on principle. i exclude myself from the story and in doing so fangfei from moyuyunjian’s steely gaze becomes all the more important. i give so many shits and laugh and yell and spectate. but i am safe from the eyes of its inhabitants. if i entered the story it would break. so i sit outside of it, clapping by myself

in other news, we gave up on mysterious lotus casebook 16 episodes in. there are many character archetypes in these shows that i can no longer stand; the salacious sexy seductive supervillain lady is not necessarily one of them but the way they did miss ‘this man didn’t even Look at me when all men fall at my knees so i hated him’ ‘no one is allowed to steal buttchin from me’ jiao was way up there. surely a woman can have multiple personality traits and yet you would think from this drama that that is not at all true. and the strange harem that grew around li lianhua despite his absolute loser attitude— like i get it, he’s the gintoki of this show, that’s hot, but the way the women who were into him were written made me want to Eat Horse. it bothered me that di feisheng and lianhua’s homo as fuck dynamic was so intriguing and them + fang duobing was a winning trio but all the women in the show were written like complete fucking ass, and one of the big antagonists being a woman, the stakes throughout were not only lost to me but also Pissed Me Off. also, that case about the corpse flowers dragged on forever and all my pocky wilted

I Just Think, women deserve better in these damn stories. make them slutty as hell, sure, but make them other things too and i mean this in the most generous sense. slutty and proud. slutty and weird. slutty and oblivious. literally anything at all so they don’t come out cardboard flat from all angles. this is why i have a personal vendetta against the ditzy clueless female protagonist as well because if everything stems from the fact that she doesn’t know shit it’s like please someone Please tell her shit i’m on my hands and knees begging. give her more to chew on she’s dying of boredom over there

this is why i liked the so called antagonist of blossoms in adversity best (spoilers ahead). he was cruel as hell to huazhi and gu yanxi’s only parental figure. he was paranoid and selfish and lonely and craved a son’s love from the one person he couldn’t hold onto. in the end he is pushed further and further by huazhi, who won’t give in, to isolate yanxi from the people he loves and to lash out at those people as a way of punishing yanxi. and when he dies it’s because of his own distrust, his own negligent parenting, his absent cruelty from decades of insomnia and lack of faith in his people. but he cries for yanxi, and there’s something so human about that. to think of evil not as a first principle but rather an adjective for a verb that is set in motion by other events. to be honest, i haven’t seen such thoughtful writing in any chinese period drama before or after that and i strongly suspect i will never see such writing again in this genre but man, it was so fucking good (spoilers end).

in the meantime, i’ve dragged my mother to moyuyunjian/the double for the return casting of liu xiening and wang xingyue who are Eating so hard. they’ve got wang xingyue done up with the sluttiest makeup and liu xiening is breaking my heart with her pout and her Sassy Mean constitution and this is a revenge story, yes, but it’s a double revenge story. it’s a grief story. and fangfei is carrying more on her shoulders than lingbuyi imo, and doing so with much more grace too. her step mom’s a dick but she’s a smart, 5d chess playing dick who wears hot shades of green so i’m personally interested enough to keep watching (something lotus casebook DID NOT accomplish with their epic female antagonist…. mein gotte). and the princess too. unhinged as hell but god, so charismatic. and beautiful, with scary big eyes and the sweetest head tilt. fun fun fun! that’s fun character writing right there. the comedy might be too straightforward for my tastes but everything else is kind of hot and sexy And after the coming of age ceremony when jiangli appeared amidst the flowers i felt my throat close up even though we saw her for all of one (1) episode). i was like yes. they got me alright. i Care now

really that’s all that matters isn’t it. we want stories about people we care for. we want to give a shit. why else would we listen to the stories of other people. we are looking for us and the people we love in them

oh also moyuyunjian soundtrack goes hard as hell i love a little three step waltz. here’s a pic from the ‘gym’ for ur time. guten night

[stormywormy]

i need hrt, but to turn me into cthulu

[zevrans-remade]

[clippy]

I need to go to bed but my brain is firing on all cylinders rn thinking about clockboy (as always) 😔

[oh-gh0st]

anyways we deleted that. ummm i said nothing

[thesoupisburning]

cant write essay head too full of fnaf and bad financial ideas

[ssparksflyy]

Hey Hello! I would like to request some headcanons of Leo V. With a children of Hypnos or Dionysus, thank you!

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

leo valdez dating hcs "(っ- ‸ - ς)ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

pairing: leo valdez x child of hypnos!reader warning(s): swearing probably idk i just put it in case now an: honk mimimimimimimi

yall remember that scene in frozen where anna is like "the sky's awake, so im awake, so we have to playyyyyy" and shes trying to wake up elsa? yea. thats leo.

he CANNOT sleep. ever.

his hyperactive ass is always trying to gogogogogogogo!

and youre just like lemme sleep ;(

you try your best to stay awake to be out and about with him

he greatly appreciates it and downs like four melatonin gummies with a cup of coffee so he can finally knock out with you

( coffee reduces hyperactivity for people with adhd 👍👍 )

but ohmygod those days when he gets ideas early in the morning ugh

TURN THE SELENA OFF IT IS SIX IN THE MORNING YOU CAN CLEAN YOUR WORKBENCH LATER

has taken quite a few pillows to the head

but hes fineeeee hes still livingggggggg

mmmm he snores.

leo frickin snores

usually thats a normal human thing

but hes got that latino dad snore

house shaking, earth shattering, loud enough to make you deaf

( my friends and i call it the mexican dad snore because all our dads snore like that 😭)

as of right now its still developing

it still hasnt reached full dad snore

its like in lion king when simba cant roar

it comes with age okay

when his melatonin gummies kick in they kick IN okay

passed out no return

(god i need sleep like that)

im telling you hes either bouncing off the walls or dead

he tries to fight the sleep so badly sometimes

and hes GOOD at it

i honestly dont know how some of yall go days without sleep but hes one of those people

literally falling asleep as hes walking talking about "im fine!!"

NO YOURE NOT GO TO SLEEP

but then like one hug from behind and a small kiss on his neck from you is enough to make him give in

hes literally so weak when it comes to neck kisses bye

folds like a blanket

leo sleeps without a shirt but then has some of the funkiest pajama pants ever

all different kinds of designs and stuff

he REFUSES to be basic and wear those christmas checkered red pants whatever theyre called

but that entire genre of pants.. disowned. refuses to wear them

(no hate btw im literally wearing those pants as i write this)

has made sure u have the COMFIEST bed EVERRRR

hes installed like heaters, a cooler, the mattress is flexible (like in those commercials), the pillows are super soft, everything! absolutely everything!

honestly he doesnt seem too much like a plushies guy but at the same time he does

he has like one and its matching with you but like he stays loyal to that plushie and that plushie only

best cuddler tho ♡

he loves being able to hold you but sometimes he wants to be held too :(

a literal godsend during the winter honestly

no need for a heater when youve got mcshizzle over here

you gotta tough it out during the summer though

he feels so bad cause he doesnt want you to be warmer than it already is

but then you tell him you dont mind, just gotta have the ac on full blast !!

oh how i love leo valdez

[iamthunderhearmehowl]

BG3 HeadCannons that WONT LET ME SLEEP

I have to share the headcannon that is living rent free in my head rn otherwise I will NEVER go tf to sleep bruh.

Okay so like WHAT IF - hear me out, WHAT IF, Halsin did have a child?? What if he - during the time he was held a prisoner in the underdark (as basically a sex slave) actually sired a daughter. He said he broke out during an altercation and didn't know what happened to his captors. He obviously wouldn't about his kid.

WHAT IF he had a daughter who was half drow - who grew up and was raised in the underdark; maybe she's the bastard child of a princess? Who knows. But what if she realizes that something is up - she's different than the other drow. She has his eye color, she has his kindness/ gentleness - she is unlike her mother who is cruel and abuses her power of position.

She is more than likely just as beautiful as her father, if not more. A flirt? 100% this kid would have Halsin's rizz.

She's a druid for sure - doesn't quite know it yet. You think Halsin is a mf tank as a cave bear???? I have reason to think that his child - can turn into an ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE OF A BEAST. I'm talking like a Carnotauros.

While she is gentle and kind, she also has her mother's temper. Do not cross her, do not trust her little doe eyes. If you were ever to hurt someone she loved or double crossed her she wouldn't think twice about gutting you like a fish.

Another thing:

We all know that Halsin's heart is made of gold - he sees nature as a thing of beauty, bountiful, warm, fertile, prosperous. He sees balance.

His daughter sees nature as survival; chaos. She understands that there is thriving and then there is SURVIVING.

He is the warm mountain breeze and she is the tempest of the storm.

(forgive me - I can see in my head what I'm speaking of but typing it out and explaining it in words is difficult)

I would think that as different as they are Halsin would love her fiercely (that's his kid after all), though she would be a young adult at this point

Maybe be a little over protective??

ANOTHER THING:

in BG3 you're supposed to be able to have a companion of each class - what if you have:

Mol as your Rogue (young adult)

Arabella as your Sorceress (young adult)

Halsin's Daughter as your druid

BUT THEYRE LIKE BEST FRIENDS. IT WOULD JUST BE SO CUTE.

maybe they're a polycule? Maybe they're like idk the powerpuff girls? Maybe they're 3 best friends who - constantly get into mischeif ?

Would Halsin not approve of TAV romancing his daughter????

Can his daughter romance Dammon?? (I'm still butthurt that I can't romance him in game)

WILL I EVER FUCKING SLEEP? I CAN'T STOP THINKING THAT THIS IS A MOVIE/GAME I WANNA WATCH/PLAY

anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk. Hope my melatonin kicks in soon <3

[smaeemo]

Midnight, sitting in my bathtub because I’m like 100% there is a mountain lion that will parkour up to my room and eat me, thinking about destiel and how Cas like fell for Dean (lol). Like I saw this edit, idk who the editor was (Ill reblog with @) that was like when Dean knocks over angel in that weird liminal place that jebadiah or whatever locked him in when Deano wouldn’t surrender to mikey or whatevs. And then cas spawns behind him right before having that homoerotic wall slam, but instead of dean turning around to Cas its him

SPOILER ALERT FOR 15x18.

It’s him turning around to Cas after the empty showed up and before the empty gobbled that bitch whole. And Cas looks all sad and goopy and Dean is like “Wha” and then the sound behind it is that one song that’s like “Should’ve known better,” and I just had a moment of reflection sitting my weirdly yellow bathtub??? (my house was built in the 60s) and then I got so sad because I realized that the brutal fight between these wild animals that I ear witnessed was the real deal. Like what if in this raccoon society I just witnessed like another Dramatic Destiel Death TM, but like Raccoon Version.

Anyways, can someone please draw that?? Like the 15x18 scene but they are all raccoons. I will pay apple cash, idk where that shit comes from, but apple cash is so stupid and I live laugh love it. #apple cash. Lol

Also, like, I was watching pretty little liars and I heard that one Florence and the Machine song at the end of season 1 and I was like “eargasm” and then I went back to moping in my bathtub with no lights on, fully dressed with no water, because like any another rational person I decided that the very real mountain that just had an extremely dramatic destiel death, but raccoon world (or like animal world ig) would specifically climb up to my window in particular to eat just me, because I was the only one with my lights on, and then it would just like leave afterwards because I was definitely the tastiest snack or whatever, so for some reason I would be the safest in my scary ass bathroom instead of my comfy bed.

Then I just got out of the bathtub because wtf. And the 4 melatonin gummies I ate are kinda kicking in and I am gonna catch that z’s like they aint everr been caught before.

XOXO,

Leenya

[dreamerwriternstargazer]

Okay so

I have just realised that I have less than a week to be ready to go on holiday, I have to be ready by SATURDAY and the panic is kicking in

Kicking movie night I’m putting on Studio Ghibli while I get stuff done (suggestions please for nice, soothing anime to put on while I get things done?)

I need to put a checklist here because it has literally been years since I’ve gone anywhere and my mum was the one who did most of the organising for me

Contact lenses + sunglasses ✅

Sleeping pills (I’m not entirely sure how I get these my aunty offered me some though? But they’re not melatonin they’re like proper sleeping pills)

Crocs ✅

Sew 2 dresses + 1 shirt/1 shirt + some skirts (ideally today and/or tomorrow)

Get smaller bag for money/essentials

Order insulated water bottle

Get Saudi eSIM (do I do this now or like… the day before I go, I feel like I can buy it now in advance and activate it so I can use it as soon as I land)

Pack on…. Idk I don’t know when you pack the suitcase, I’m assuming Friday morning so I can get the last of the laundry in because I’m only bringing my most worn stuff, so like yeah I’ll pack Friday and be ready in the morning. Probably.

Make a note of everything I’m bringing so I don’t lose anything (yes I am writing an itemisation including clothes)

…..I have an iced coffee and I’m feeling the panic attack coming already I’ve only had two sips

[thatonekreachur]

hhhhh finally I have time to now post this hshshshshhshs

anyways au

so um, yeah, so um uh...

Some days ago I decided to listen to a song for the first time, Symbiotic by Starset, and then i thought "wow. this is absolute broppy material." until it came to me.

guys, hear me out... in this au the trolls have glowy markings all over their body, and the bergans are giant machines that feed on their energy.

Also, the colors of the glowy bits on the pop trolls are like the colors of stars... they can be blue, like a hot blue star, or red, like a cool red star, or yellow, like our sun (even though it's kinda white...). Just a little detail of think is cool, and it's gonna be overall space and glowy themed and such!

And it will of course focus on our famous duo over there! Some things under the cut

The perks of this au includes:

Space and glowy themed ofc

Adding in to the worldbuilding

It will cover all three movies, and I will rewrite the story of each

More interaction between characters

Extra action and suspense and violence

So I am like torn between turning this au into a ao3 fanfic or a comic, or maybe both... idk... let me explain.

So, for comic, which is what I am really leaning into more, my art would look a little... flat at the start, and I would improve and advance as I work on it a little more. One disadvantage is how long the comic will take to complete. One other comic that I read on Deviantart literally took ten fucking years to complete, and for something that's going to cover three whole movies, I don't really think it's gonna be plausible.

Like, the comic will have an introduction chapter, and will be divided into three parts, each representing the three movies, with more being added with future installments. Like, if it will take ten fucking years to complete one part, then I will literally grow old and die before I even start one that will cover the potential fifth or sixth movie, not to mention the high chance of hitting artist's block. So my solution is to keep this short, but not too short to not make the plot feel rushed, and not too long so it won't literally take more than 2 years to complete...

So, for fanfic, it will take a lot less time to complete, and I get to learn how to write, but not how to draw. And for doing both, I get to learn how to draw and write but then I might overstimulate myself doing a buncha things at the same time.

But one thing for both of them is that I have to overcome the fear of writing the characters names on there, so you guys have to help me out on this one. I have no idea why I am afraid of putting the names on there, like its a bunch a words... what harm can they do?

I might've made the conclusion, I will do the comic one better. Guys if this feels a little rushed and the grammar feels broken is because I am writing this at the point where I need to go asleep and the melatonin is kicking in. so, yeah goodbye

[validwarriorcatsnames]

Portal warrior cats: gladedose, wheatleak, atlaspaw and peapaw (…dy. lol), and chillwhisper (chell + whisper since girl cant talk)

idk im tired and waiting for my melatonin to kick in sorry for bothering you

not sorry enough. when i was in middle school i put portal inserts into a completely unrelated warriors fanfiction. which i never finished. grassnose and wheatleaf i abandoned you and i'm not sorry

[cherry-heart-nsfw]

my pretty little pump has calmed down now I’ve had some rest, a warm long shower, and have a nice full stomach lol and I’m cosy in my bed. she’s still beating hard, as I expect there’s still drugs in my bloodstream oof. but she’s slower and steadier now. I will protect my heart don’t worry, will be doing drugs a lottt less frequently because of my physical and mental wellbeing.

I wish I had someone with me rn to ear steth me and tell me in detail about every beat they hear, with a hand placed gently on my chest to feel my heart contract and expand, pumping blood through my body with every beat, keeping me alive. hearts are so fascinating and magical and I wish I had someone irl to enjoy this with me :( also I want someone to cuddle me with their head on my chest or belly, so they can hear my heartbeat and breathing (and belly sounds but that’s not something that turns me on at all, its it’s relaxing sometimes maybe idk I’m weird)

anyway, long ass ramble over. my melatonin is staring to kick in and I’m very sleepy. goodnight <3

[raemeh]

uhmm polly darton. Basically he’s an adopted kid along with his brother Vince and they grow up happy with their grandma (their guardian) until she got kicked by a horse uhhhh (the urge to say L everytime i say that pollyyyy i’m so sorry lmao) but besides from that he’s a clean slate for trauma :] that my dm will smack me in the face with/hj

AND ALSO!! The unrequited love/crush he has is on another band member (all the pcs in this campaign are all bards-we are so dumb-and all are diffrent music genres) called Eddie/Lovebug Eddie who seems cool and mysterious but is actually just a silly guy hehhee he made a cake out of melatonin and polly smacked him in the face to get him to spit it out ahdhsks

also polly and eddie are sad since eddie pushes away everyone he loves (a LOT of one night stands on this adventure) and polly sees this happen everytime and is like ‘i don’t want to go through that its ok” but he is STRUGGLING/hj/silly go for it polly kiss that guy!!!

idk if you wanted to know about polly but ahdhsj yeah thats him

AWE AUGH I love him already

[iantimony]

twoweeker tuesday: redux

im really making a trend of two-weekin these huh. gonna try to Not do that bc it makes me way less likely to actually do it lol. speed-posting this before bed (and before the melatonin kicks my ass, i'm trying to reset my sleep sched a bit)

listening: hozier unreal unearth. sammy rae & the friends. leaving this pretty sparse because i don't want to dig back through my history for the past two weeks and that's definitely the bulk of it. some notes from the Release Radar(tm) that i like: good luck, babe! - chappell roan bell - rob blivion waiting. - pater ...all (feat jake clemons, live) - grouplove i had not my hat - tom rosenthal april 8, 2024: the great north american eclipse - sleeping at last (!!!) too sweet - hozier flea - st vincent lil' freak - bbno$

reading: finished the main bit of scum villain! i'm reading the extras now. officially read all three mxtx books

watching: FINISHED SERIAL EXPERIMENTS LAIN. i have so many thoughts. i was in delta-orionis' dms about it a bit but my ass has so many Notes. many thoughts. gnosticism mostly but also the obvious tech-as-extension-of-self throughline. idk it was a very weird show and i definitely need to re-watch it to let it sink in a little more.

playing: no games but a lot of horn! i have an audition tomorrow for the fall's campus ensembles, i am...not super confident about it tbh, unsurprisingly i am not back to where i was pre-pandemic so my upper range and endurance is still really crunchy.

making: i keep forgetting to charge my phone before pottery so it keeps. dying. so i made quite a few new things the past few weeks but no photos of those - i did Crack the Code a bit, so now i can more reliably get things shaped in a conscious way. basically i was sitting too far forward so when i was pulling the walls up i was actually doing it at an angle, if i sit with my nose over the center of the pot it's all *chef kiss* beautiful. anyways here's a few glaze related pics. a lot of disappointment unfortunately.

1. my fucked up teacups. god im so mad about these. they were supposed to be a cool grey-green with a white flower, and matte. it is None Of These Things. idk will get redone. big mad.

2. bowl and mug that both got bubbles because i misread the glaze labels - they're both mayco glazes that are optimized for cone 05, not cone 5, so the both the color is not as good as i thought and also the surface variation is. not great. the bowl is acceptable, it's mirror blue, it went through the kiln again and the bubbles evened out (pic is from before), and plus it's on the outside - i just put plain white on the inside - so it's fine. the mug is a little more problematic. it was green slip sgraffito with evergreen fir over top, and i really love the color effect, but there's some small bubbles along the rim...this glaze was marked as food safe in a way that the mirror blue is Not so i thought it would be fine but. well. i'm hoping nuking it in the kiln again will smooth those out.

3. One Good Thing: trying a new glaze technique! someone in my studio does this gorgeous thing where she paints on flowers with underglaze, then covers them with liquid latex to paint on the background, and finally peels off the latex. it always comes out sooo nice, so when i ordered some more underglaze i went ahead and added liquid latex to cart too :3 this is just the flowers, i will be adding the background tomorrow!

eating: uhhh good cauliflower vegetarian shawarma thing that i refused to make unless we added a can of chickpeas because where in the fuck is the protein. tonight was a miso-butter chicken with radishes that we added potatoes and onions to. both sheetpan recipes so im def a fan of those now.

misc: ouuuugh. augh. oughghghg. i need to be done with homework forever please god. i have like...7? 8? total hws left between my two classes. and then i am Done With Classes. mentally gearing up to do my preliminaries at the end of the summer. not to doxx myself but ouch. basketball yesterday. Pain. the eclipse yesterday WAS unreal. oh my god. i drove to [redacted] very small town about 40 minutes from me and it was perfect. so glad i avoided the Big City, although that's where my roommate and her mom went and apparently the traffic was fine, but i'm definitely glad to have been in a less crowded zone. i get it now. i want to take that feeling i had watching totality and eat it and keep it with me forever. i was with friends. the weather was perfect. it was beautiful.