#idk where its from or if its 100% legit but honestly i dont care

[doctapuella]

based on this post

[wri0thesley]

Asfjfkdkf okay so, advice anon here again (sorry, I just got out of a meeting!) and like, I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know why I can’t do more than write one thing once a year. I feel like I don’t deserve to call myself a writer because I haven’t written a real fic since last May, honestly. And it’s not lack of ideas that are keeping me in this hellhole, it’s just that the instant I go to put them into proper words, I lose steam immediately and it doesn’t translate from thought to word document. And I know my mental health is fried because of the last year and some personal and work stressors that I’m sure have me burnt out, but it’s still like…I’ll think I’ll have motivation to write when I get home and done with the day and then it’s like pulling teeth to even so much as make a note so I remember my own idea to write later (which ends up being never). It doesn’t help seeing some of my closest friends having all kinds of free time on their hands and going out and joining rp servers and getting to hone their style and evolve and be great, and I’m happy for them, but I keep beating myself up about it because I feel like I can’t do it too. I’m a writer who can’t fucking write and I hate feeling like this.

And it feels like a double slap in the face with how much the writing community is popping off and flourishing too because it feels like unless I’m constantly engaging and putting out a headcanon post to remind people I’m not dead, no one cares. My blog is on the small side already and no one gives me any kind of feedback either and like, I don’t care if I have a few hundred or a few thousand followers, honestly. I’m so grateful to any person who’s read my work and thought that hey, maybe they’d like to stick around. It floors me that there are actual people who would do that over my work and I treasure each of them. But it also just feels like a lot of people don’t care to actually interact at all unless you have a substantial following.

Idk it all kind of builds up and like, I’m already feeling burnt out and then the combination of knowing I’m falling behind and that I’m not even someone who can call herself a has-been because I’m a never-was, it all just feels like a rock I’m trapped under. It’s really snowballed at this point and the more I think about it, the more frustrated I get, which only makes it worse. Legit I can’t think of a better metaphor for it than not being able to get or keep my writerly dick up enough to make any kind of content asbfkzg

Sorry, I know that was kind of a lot and I hope it isn’t overwhelming to read all that. You’re someone I really look up to as a creator and your input means a lot to me though, so if you have any words of wisdom, it would be immensely appreciated. But again, if this is like, too much, plz feel free to just ignore this, I don’t want to be a bother. Thank you for taking time to read this, I hope you have a wonderful day.

my response is long so its under the cut! <3

ah, anon! i have definitely experienced being burnt out and being unable to put anything down on paper - i'm very lucky that my main job is caring for my fiancee so i have a lot of spare time to do things with, so i can't say i know how you feel there - but that dread of having ideas that just don't translate? i know that very well. it's actually one of the reasons i like tumblr so much; it's so easy to just throw a paragraph or two together of headcanons in response and feel accomplished, if that makes sense? lots of my own personal favourite writers aren't people who are posting things every day, but i one hundred percent understand the fear of 'if i'm not posting, people won't care' (i must have written well over 300 fics at this point and i still feel like it).

i don't know what fandoms you're in; jojo seems to be quiet, but the other fandoms i've found myself in really very much are popping off. honestly, i think half the time popularity is just writing for the right character and it being seen by the right person who'll reblog it and everything will snowball. lack of interaction in notes doesn't mean lack of talent. i consider myself very lucky to have any kind of 'following' and it blows my mind people stick around, but i know a lot of that is because i post a lot, i write a lot, i don't shut up. i think a lot of anons/people are scared to interact with someone they haven't seen interacting with anons before. (as a side note, if you feel comfy sharing your url with me i would love to follow u ;_;. i think a big part of the writing community on tumblr is having the 'network' of people and i LOVE reblogging and reading and supporting other writers, and i know i'm in a fairly fortunate place that whilst i dont have a fuck-off huge following, i have a reasonable one who are very interactive and lovely!).

sorry i'm getting distracted! i'm not going to be like OH ANON YOU SHOULD WRITE FOR LOVE OF WRITING because that's ridiculous; we're all posting because we are small children presenting fics to an audience and saying 'please tell me if you liked it!'. i think most artists of any medium want validation and feedback and just to know they're being heard. it can be frustrating to work so hard on something and feel like you're getting nowhere; it's extra frustrating to know you have something in you that just isn't coming out.

a lot of advice i feel like i could give you might not even be that useful if you're too exhausted to do anything. i'm lucky that i'm one of those people who starts typing and doesn't stop. when i get bad writer's block, i just force myself through it. sometimes i use drabble prompts or alphabet prompts to force myself through it, or random generators (i know some writers who do drabbles that are exactly 100 words which seems like a fun idea but i'm so needlessly verbose it would never work for me). if you can find ten minutes of your day even to write a couple of words (maybe a morning might be better for you if you're tired in the evening?), it's amazing how quickly they build up.

anyway, i appreciate you feeling like you could come to me!!! i'm sorry if any advice i give sounds condescending or is just plain useless, i'm not actually that good at it but i very much understand where you're coming from and i hope things get better <3.

[fuzzbuns]

Im in a bad mood because american education system is hell so im gonna ramble about stuff no one cares about for that sweet serotonin aka atsutodo* tho really just Mr Atsushi... Sir Joned arbuck-

*?... like i mean its lowkey atsutodo i will not front but realistically speaking im just gonna talk about thier relationship and whether you see it as platonic or not it is up to you but like just know in my minds eye MY GOD these bitches GAY.... good for them tho... good for them

I just legit don’t understand people who either think/ characterize atsushi as someone who is mean or doesn’t like todomatsu. Like the only person who legitimately should ever feel that way is totty but we will get there. like, i get not everyone stans atsushi and has been following him ever since that one tweet after ep 22 where he is shown baking a totty themed meal (srsly look at this. the second i saw this tweet back in like 2016 i was like “oh i love this dude”)

LIKE.... LOOK AT THAT.......

Ok so back to the point : like i get most people do not care to keep up with the guy who had 19 seconds of screen time in ep 22 LIKE I GET THAT but literally the very second you look at his characterization in literally anything it is just so clear that he genuinely likes totty and seeks out his company!

And like i know some people saw how totty reacted to him in the movie and went “uh.” But you guys are literally forgetting that todomatsu is a matsuno.... plus totty literally tried to maul his own siblings? IDK to me it just kinda shows to todomatsu clearly feels close enough to atsushi in order to treat him like his siblings because totty is the kind of person who values what people think of him (including atsushi. In ep 7 season 2 he literally is apologizing to atsushi even when atsushi isnt even there which means he clearly cares about whether he is on good terms with him or not) so like....? If he really didnt like atsushi he just wouldnt hange out with him. He just got pissed off,,,, not very deep. Plus atsushi didnt even react.... which to me is just like.... he is close enough to totty to know he is dramatic and is use to having totty be a drunk menace to society. Also? People think he was being mean with the whole ‘neetville’ thing WHICH LIKE..... WHAT ABOUT IT.... like im not even convinced he meant it like that but even if he did, he is just teasing them....it really not that deep..... it is one negative interaction out of the many postitive ones they have had and its is mostly totty who is making a stink (which is a common theme.... BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN HE HATES ATSUSHI WE WILL GET THERE)

Back to atsushi, i feel like seeing him in highschool made me kinda get his character more (tho its just my interpretation so idk. I literally do not know how they characterize him in tabi or the spin off because i just havent seen translations for that stuff? Tho i know i heard that in one of the tabi events he was in people said he was nice to totty (aka he was a good guy... like we have known this.) but thats like.. it.) We barely see him talk! He is super quiet! Which is... going back to the last part.... kind makes the lines he has make sense? I feel like he isnt really the best at taking the lead in conversations and isnt really even that good of a conversationalist but he knows what people what to hear so he just says that and it usually works out fine? Like he can fake it well, like when i write a paper and think “idk what im talking about” and then i get it back and the prof is like “wow..... this was.... breathtaking...” like thanks my head is empty! idk if that makes sense but he just seems like the kind of person who was forced to get good at conversing when he finished highschool in order to network and shit but like deep down he would rather not. Like he is friendly! He has friends and he likes being with them but i feel like if it was up to him he would be a bit more reserved. And the fact he likes totty kinda speaks to this?

Before we get to that i should probably prove he likes totty but i feel like it is so obvious i shouldnt have to..... he set totty up with the girls in ep 7, he apparently goes to the gym with totty every now and then and like. Looks forward to it. The hesowars sprite where he is waving totty as if totty was some kind of celebrity (in front of the girls who clearly dont want to see him. Like atsushi is so oblivious to the fact the atmosphere is awkward because he is too busy being.... gay??? Sorry homies i decided it is gay.) also the offical art of totty and atsushi on a totally-not-a-date.... even if you take the subjective gay subtext i put on there off its still obvious atsushi and totty hang out and atsushi puts effort in in order to do so. I feel like the fact he is still in touch with totty after highschool speaks to just how much effort atsushi put in to keep him around because lets be 100%. Todomatsu seems like a NIGHTMARE to actually have a stable friendship that lasts more than a year with. This is the guy who literally does not get the concept of friendship... and yet here atsushi is.....very much being his friend

I feel like unless you are someone who is very good at reading inbetween the lines/a good listener, it would be impossible to be todomatsus friend just because of the front he puts up. I honestly think since they are highschool friends, totty doesnt put up as much of a front with atsushi cuz like... he saw totty at his most baby..... like you cant come back from that. But totty puts up fronts even with his own siblings so he definitely still has to put up some kind of front with atsushi. So i think atsushi being this quiet kid in highschool gave him the skills to deal with totty. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS MEAN I PROMISE I LOVE TOTTY IM JUST BEING REALISTIC. when you arent doing the talking and you are just listening and taking in what people are saying you start to pick up on a lot of little things. And because atsushi knows what totty was like in highschool i feel like he genuinely understands todomatsu as a person. Like totty can act self assured and dismissive but we (and atsushi) know that deep down he really craves affection and validation. Which is why atsushi sticks around with him and even goes as far as setting him up on dates. Atsushi is a quiet dork at heart. I will not budge on this.

So like where does the asshole rich man idea of atsushi even come from?? Because atsushi isnt really like that (tho i will admit it is very funny... rich asshole atsushi is very funny i can not lie)? The line about him having a car never came off as snobbish to me tbh it just seems awkward (like you know... a quiet kid who is forced to converse). Remember how i said we would come back to that? We are finally doing it. Todomatsu matsuno has too many insecurities and he projects them on the people around him. Notice how we always see atsushi from todomatsu perspective! Totty see atsushi as the guy who always one ups me and takes girls from me.... the guy who said neetville,,,, the guy who likes to look down on commoners..... but .... totty isnt a reliable narrator. Todomatsu has a hard time seeing other people as being genuine because he himself cant be genuine. So when atsushi hangs around him, he assumes that he must be looking down on him, because why else would someone like atsushi wanna be around someone like totty :( (i suggest “because he is gay” but like-) i think totty genuinely likes atsushi but he is so self sabotaging that he cant accept the idea that anyone who knows who he is could ever want to connect with him so he tries to keep atsushi at a distance and lashes out whenever atsushi unknowingly proves his warped perspection of him (an asshole rich guy) right because the idea of someone using ur misery as entertainment is upsetting to say the least.

Its 2020 and i cant believe i just rambled about atsutodo but i was thinking about atsushi recently plus...... i dont keep up with the oso fandom but i saw shit about people who thought atsutodo was.... bad??? And like I genuinely just cant see how you could get to that conclusion? It doesnt have to be ur thing but to reach and say its somehow “Problematic” ??????? The only messy thing about it is just totty being a matsuno like..... atsushi is genuinely such a chill guy i just... its not clicking for me.

Anyway atsushi is a dork man. Quiet highschool kid rep. Coconut head king. jon arbuckle. And if he wants to hold hands with todomatsu matsuno?? Who am i to stop him.... insert image of fma love is love thumbs up

In fact after all the effort he has put in? He deserves to hold his hand..... AND TOTTYS HAND DESERVES TO BE HELD/??/

Ok i have work to do bye

[og-doubletrouble-kinnie]

SPOP Season 4 notes

Spoilers obvi

Gonna be a bit different from my s3 notes, as I’m p much just gonna liveblog stuff here- Since I dont wanna spoil my friends... Rip 😔

Ep 1:

Mom: Icecream cake :-D me, sobbing: Mom I love you

Every time my mom does something I cry. I love and miss her sm

YALL JUST HURTIN PERFUMA LIKE THIS-

WHY CAN THE SWORD BE A MOP-

Ya know I always thought Hordaks red teeth were fuckin weird af

GRANDMA GRANDMA GRANDMA GRANDMA

GO GET MY GIRLFRIEND YOU UGLY KITTY

EMILYYYYYYYYY AWAAAA

They really out here just reusing the princess prom outfits huh?

Really though I swear if Entrapta doesnt come back I’ll scream. You cant just trade in my beautiful amasing gf for me. I know I’m great but I swear.

Rip Auntie Angella.... 😔

I wasn’t even there for the corrination- I kinda feel bad for that but... I was alittle busy... With somethin- Hell if I know what.

HELL YEAH QUEEN GLIMMERRR

Oh hot diggity Catra-

Look I may not like her but I can really respect her tactics....

EP 2:

Okay what does Perfuma have against the crimson wastes- Hopefully its (Rightful) fear!

Oh nooo the gooooo

One does not simply call Adora soft

Aweeee Perfuma and Bow bonding...

Perfuma is cacti-phobic hahahaha

O.O Wheres the ship

Huntara eats sand and theres nothing you can do about it.

OOOO NEW TOWN NEW TOWN NEW TOWN

MEMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEME

AH YES MY FIRST WORDS ARE BEING SCORPIA AND FLIRTING WITH CATRA. HOW FITTING.

God im so dramatic I love it

Perfuma Im so proud of you bb

Hot take? Perfuma x Huntara

AWEEE IM SO HAPPYYYYYYYY

Honestly being Catra was always fun

Ep 3:

Pajamas Catra? Catra without her headband? Wild shit. Wild shit.

She cute tho ngl

Oh hecc its time to fuck with the rebels-

I s2g its rly lookin like my tl may just be flip flopped on which side I helped- Idk... its only ep 3 jfkbgf

Wittle moth society... so cute...

Flutterina... Adorable

SHE RA CAKE

The moth town leader is adorable. Precious old lady. I love her. her design is amazing. 10/10 I love her

Wait what-

Ohhhh my god what happened-

Catra if you dont start appreciating Scorpia right this second I swear to god I will appreciate her myself.

Flutterina is so precious. All her fangirling...

Are we gonna explorer the whole.. reaction catra has every time someone mentions the Portal??

MAGICAL SACRED BOND TIME

FLUTTERINA IS A PRECIOUS BABY AND I LOVE HERRR

SCORPIAAAA SIS GET OVER HERE LEMME HUG UUUU

Oh....

OH

O H

OKAY

I AM ON BOARD WITH THIS

Ep.4

Spinerella and nettossa are precious 100%

Okay but I’m right. tiny cute and pink. I didnt even catch it. I done fooled myself.

Am cutie

GRANDMAS BA C K BOIISSSSS

god I love shadow weaver. I miss her sm

B O BB N O

OKAY SPOT ON BO IMPRESSION!

IM SO CUUUTTTEEE

Yaaayyyyy Catras having fun!

WEAVER LIKES DAISIES. PRECIOUS. AWA. GWANDMAAAA

She makes great bait and u know it.

Oh no are the gfs fighting-

Catra legit thought glimmer was me I love this-

CATRA WHY DO YOU KNOW WHAT GLITTER TASTES LIKE-

..... Okay literally as I type thet I get mems of her eating glitter okay cool

Ohhh That was cool-

Hey Catra dont hide your grateful attitude you dick

God I love these girlfriends

LET WEAVER BE GOOD ADORA

This is cute

Ep 5

Kyle you precious little boy

Oh are they finally gonna develop these three?

Ditzy light hope is cute light hope

SHES ALL SMILEYYYY

I love Kyle launie and roheleo... Precious

“I made a crystal :-D”

“I know what will help!” “no dont-”

Kyle I love you

“Oh trust me the information is never gonna load for you.”

Lookit these... three siblings.... Blessed babes

COMPUTER MOM HAS EMOTIONS

AWA

KYLE BABY NOOO

HARD SQUINTING AT LIGHT HOPE

EP 6

Oh boi Scoria episode here we go

God I love that she kept Emily....

Scorpia is too bright and cheery for the hoarde. Redeem her damnit

Hecc I hate that Im being so mean to the best friend squad but oooog its so fun to watch

Emily’s personality is so cuuuteee -w-

Emily scared of Catra.. precious

SCORPIA YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER-

I wanna hug her so bad

Hehehehehehe >:)

Damnit Bo, ruining my work-

CRYING

Scorpias entrapta impression tho

SCORPIA YOU TOUCH THAT GARNET GOD DAMNIT

Im gonna cry, emilys recordings....

GOD I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND-

..... Whats goin on with the Garnet...

LET GLIMMER BE DARK

THE GREATEST HUGS, SCORPIA. GREATEST HUGS

Emily youre so smart.

SCORPIA FINALLY KNOWIN SHES WORTH BETTER HELL YEAH YOU GO SISTER

Catra rly needs a hug tbh

OHHHH HELL YESSSSSS

God I wanna know more about the scorpion kingdom....

Ep 7

Mermista you are too happy when holding everyone in a room against their will

OH OKAY THAT WOULD EXPLAIN WHY

SPOILERS MERMISTA

Ohhh hohoho I am lovin this story~

Shadow weaver bein an embarassing mom to Adora, adorable

Adora was absolutely suspicious of Weaver in my tl 100% Sure I made her more trusted, but Adora is stubborn

BFDJKGBFJKD ENTRAPTAS HELPERS ARE IN THE CASTLE

Ooooooo This is a great ep...

Ohh Im having fun arent I~

Ohhhhhhh Shiiiiiiiiiiit Rip selenious

Ep8

I hope yallre keepin an eye on me, Or I’ll get out >:-)

Awee depressed baby :-(

SHANTYYYY

OH THIS IS PRECIOUS

Seahawk this is a terrible idea....

This better be a musical episode

BDHJFBD WRONG KIDNAPPERS

I love depressed mermista

Return of the she-mop!

Oooo seahawk past....

Awee Catra misses Scorpia

And is finally realizin shes gone

O u c h poor Seahawk

OW GLIMMER

HELL YEAH MERMISTA

“A SEAGULL TOLD ME!”

Oooo Catra, a natural born killer~

I love bein able to finally see Octavia in action

Low key musical Ep, hell yesssss

I already shipped mermista and seahawk but this ep... Is just makin me ship it more....

SCORPIA HAS MOMS

The fact that it took this long for Catra to finally go to scorpias room and check on her

How the fuck do the boats work

Ep 9

OHHHHH Razz gets the sheras mixed up thats honestly so cute-

Razz... I lov u

I love her refrences to the old charas

Razzzz awe precious.. The first time...

Oooo I love seein Mara

AWEE LIGHT HOPE SOFT FOR MARA

Good I feel bad for Razz tbh??? hoppin back and forth between Sheras

MARAS TRANSFORMATIONNNNN

God she looks so much better than Adora holy fuck

NOOO RAZZ DONT CRYYY

HOLY FUCKING SH I WHAT THE F U CFDHFDJBKJGBSKED

Hot fucking damn I didnt expect this what the sh iiiiiii

I STILL WANNA HUG RAZZ-

Ep 10

DAMN IM SO COLD XD

That fuckin POOF

PLEAAASSEE LET ME AND WEAVER BOND PLZ I WANT MY GRANDMAAAAA

Let Frosta nap 2020

SCORPIAAAA

DONT SNEAK UP BEHIND SCORPIA

Daaaamn Catra... Go take a nap hun, you look terrible

Oh sweetie.....

Glimmer please you didn’t see what they saw.

Aaaannnnd Okay the queenliness is goin to her head cool

SCORPIA BABYYYY

Caaaatttrrraaaaa

LOOPY LOOP BETRAYAL

God I love them learning the ship

FBHJSDBFSJHVFD OH MY GOD FAKE TEARS

SHE DID IT IM SO PROUD OF HERRR

Ep11

Eeeeee I hope they find my blessed gorl.....

Whats swifty hearin..

OH SHIT SHERA DOESNT WORK-

I cant believe the first ones just have a fucking dump

MICHA MICHAM ICHA ITS MY UCLE I KNOW IT

HELL YEAH BAEBEEEEEE

I KNEW HE WAS ALIVE

Sweet my uncles just a lil crazy haha

MICHA I LOV YOU

Awaaaaaa

Glimmer loses one parent and gains the other. Girl only gets one parent at a time. Hahahaha

The world has to nerf her lmao

Hell yeah hes cool!

Okay cool proof that Lighthope just wants to activate the weapon

Guys just tell him she’s a teenager omfg

Hoooooly hecc

NOOOOOOOO aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

SHE RAAAAA

MY WIIIFFFEEEE

AAAAAAAA

YAASSSS

EEEEE

Ohhhh Scorpia is the key.....

Interesting.......

Ep 12

EVEN WEAVER IS CONFUSED

You bet you ass Ive escaped bitches >:)

-cries- I’ve missed my wife

Awaaa she never changes!

Someone hug Catra I s2g

DT nooooooo

SHE SHOWS NO CONNECTION BECAUSE YOU TOOK IT WEAVER-

I adore Weaver in this season- Who am I kidding, I adore Weaver in every season

THe hoarde is led by two kids who just need some tender love and care

God Ive missed her...

SWEETIE WHY ARE YOU SO CHEERY ALL THE TIME- AAA I LOVE YOU

squinty

Uhhhggggg I now hate that I remember having a runestone of my own

Tho I DO wanna know what kinda powers Scorpia will get....

Sweetie no non onononononononononononononoono

BABY NOOO NO NO O NONONONONONONONONONO

IM GONNA CRY SHE BETTER BE OKAY-

YESS BABY

AWAAA ENTRAPTA I LOVE YOUUUU

bdhsvfbjskbfd I can only do her hair bjkvfdbgfkd

OWO IM SO SMART YET SO DUMB

HORDAK TEARS?!

Hehehehehe YES I HELPED GLIMMER

Ep 13

Nobodies followin Catra anymore lmao

Ohhhh shit Catras gonna d i e

Rip in pieces Hordak

Ohhh shiiiiiiii

SEAHAWK LIL HEART EYES

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I love callin Catra out ohhhh my g o d

OOoooooo Lightning!

I gotta question that rn Glimmer...

Damnit Hordak aint dead...

Ohhh hecc hecc hecc hecc

OH SHIT THE SWORD-

Ya rly just teleport a whole room like that-

I like horde prime-

His eyes are cool and his palette is so much nicer aaaa

Fffffuck

Fave season so far

And not just cause I’m finally in it xD

Expect more posts when the mems really start pouring... Gotta figure out how all this changed in my TL since it DEFINITELY wasn’t just like this-

[lovedeluxe92]

okay so i started working at jimmy johns in early febuary of this year. i needed a job rlly bad and money desperately, just something to keep me afloat and to afford food. what i experienced...i was not at all prepared for lmao. i was sexually harassed, verbally harassed, had my hours fucked with, had management and even the owners of the company who could give a fuck less about their employees, had to deal with my fellow coworkers AND managers being on k2 and other drugs, and the final fucking straw which was getting my tip money stolen from me OUT OF THE SAFE BY A MANAGER. i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

traffic, pedestrians NOT LOOKING WHERE THE FUCK THEY WERE GOING DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PPL I ALMOST KILLED CAUSE /THEY/ DID NOT LOOK, we have ‘parking police’ and i legit got about 15-20 tickets during my time there bc that asshole was out for blood and anytime he saw my car, even if i wasnt parked illegally (oh did i mention we had like 3 parking spots all on the street and all with a 2 hour limit (: ) or hadnt been parked in a spot for the full 2 hours. so there was that. 

see when i first started everything was fine. we had good employees who worked hard and did what they had to do. they were all stoners, but whatever i could care less about that. SO. our assistant manager, he was a mess. racist, homophobic, rude, loud. the worst. we would do dabs out in his car (yeah i know but i worked at a fucking jimmy johns) and he would just say the most questionable shit. i remember this one time he saw my phone background was a pic of me and my bf and was like ‘oh you like black guys? what’s your sex like? i bet it’s really good’ and im not gonna go into too much detail here, bc it upset me and its racist,  but he kept going and said some REALLY creepy shit i was like wtf and told him to never speak to me like that again or i would report him for sexual harassment (side note: one time he thought i did report him for sexual harassment and was like “who are you gonna buy weed from now?” LITERALLY ANYONE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.) he would always be like “DAMN THICK’ whenever i would bend over and do everything. I TOLD MY MANAGER AT THE TIME. she  didn’t do anything. AND the owners of the franchise definitely knew bc like...there’s cameras and they can hear everything we say? but no one did fucking anything. and i needed the money bad so i had to stay. of course i told him off constantly. he was white and always saying the n word. just a piece of fucking shit. 

i think the happiest day of my life was when he FINALLY got fired. my manager had to go to another city for a week and help out that jimmy johns bc i guess ALL the employees and managers did a walk out (yeah this happens at all the jimmy johns owned locally in my area i wish i was kidding) and left his inept ass in charge. it took him 5 mins to make sandwiches (FREAKY FAST hello????) he was just a poor manager. but THEN he started using k2 again. and he was a zombie. there was no point of him even being there bc like he would just go to the back of the store and just stand in front of the freezer door staring for like 10-15 mins at a time.i was a driver and didnt know how to make sandwiches yet and this bitch seriously was just standing there cracked out of his mind on k2 in FRONT of customers (and i will say our customers were SO nice at least) takking phone calls slurring his words. it was embarrassing. i rememeber i had 2 customers who had waited almost a HALF HOUR for ONE sandwich bc i was having a panic attack and losing my fucking mind trying to make their sandwiches while he was in his truck getting high and refusing to come in. one of the customers actually gave me a tip and told me i was doing great and the other one was like ‘im so sorry this is happening to you, that guy is  fucked up’. anyway, he passed out on k2 in his truck one night and got the cops called on him and got banned from the property :) i still saw him from time to time and he looked disgusting & miserable and it made me so happy. 

mostly we just had grown ass employees, fucking 30 year olds, just acting like children. always on drugs. i had one coworker pretend to slap my ass and i called him out and he was like ‘it’s a joke im not apologizing’. people would try to take deliveries from me. AND LET ME JUST SAY, not even to fucking brag even slighly but i was the best worker there my entire time there bc regardless of where im working i am giving my 100% every day and no one else there would. but ppl always tried to step over me and did not respect me. we had one coworker who had 3 felonies and one day like 4-5 cops came to our store to tell us to call the cops the next time he showed up for work (surprise surprise he fled bc they took an hour to get to the store despite the fact we were literally like not even 4 blocks from the police station) and he was always high on k2. forever late. day after day no call no show. he had his friend get hired on who would go down to subway and talk shit about subway in his uniform??? lmao and subway called us one day and was like ‘can yall not?’ he also threatened to burn down the store and then my manager (who was always on a power trip if we’re being honest) purposefully withheld his paycheck to fuck with him, because he was fucking with her, so we dealt with him WAY longer than we should have? 

then this one bitch that became manager, SOMEHOW, we were seriously always that desperate for staff and we hire anyone bc the managers are overworked af and just want to take the load off. anyway, SHE was always high on k2 as well. and she would always overshare rlly traumatic personal things from her life to me and all the customers and its like....girl we dont wanna hear that pls try and get some help. she was not currently being abused, i wanna specify. she was talking about things from her past. i sympathized with her but like im a victim of dv too lmao i dont wanna see your bruises without being asked first. and then i remember one day i left my money bag there (i kept my tips in it and had like $37 in there or something) and this bitch who was making MORE MONEY THAN ME seriously fucking went into the safe (we caught her on camera lmao) and stole that money out of my bag and left a few bills to make it seem less suspicious i guess??? lied about it to my face? then quit bc she ‘wasnt gonna sit there and be accused of something i didnt do’ like ok lmao

then to top it all off at one point my old manager just stopped giving a fuck and the store went to shit and we got complaint after complaint and she started being so rude to all of her staff, including myself (and we were like besties so i was devastated) and she cut my hours when she was submitting our work times for the checks because i would clock in early to help out....LIKE SHE ASKED? and it was just everything i said to her...her response was just the most rude and hateful voice and just....it was so rude. i cried every single day after work. she eventually got replaced and then quit 

but then this new manager, whom i loved, was very depressed and just had a lot wrong with him mentally but he was still very....drama starting and attention seeking. he would talk about suicide nonstop 24/7 and not to be callous but it just made me so uncomfortable and triggered me so much? they did overwork him and i will attest and agree to that and he had a lot on his shoulders but he couldve gone to mcdonalds literally any day and gotten a job with better hours, better pay, and better benefits. i kept telling him over and over to leave bc he had so much managerial experience he couldve been hired anywhere! all resteraunts down here are perpetually hiring, especially for managers! i would know bc i was looking for another job lmao. but he’d text me every night saying things like ‘well lets hope i drink myself to death’ ‘suicide is painless’ etc. and it was just......VERY uncomfortable for me, as someone who has attempted suicide and still struggles with ideation from time to time lmao it was just the most triggering environment ever 

like idk how i lasted that long but i worked my ass off, saved up my money, have a good paying job and im trying my best to forget this entire experience (honestly i did have some good times) but i really dont....think i can lmao 

ON A POSTIVE NOTE: we had some of the kindest and most caring customers ive ever had in my life. i was shocked. but the amount of times i had a shitty customer in my entire time there i can count on one hand lmao like....even when they were shitty they were like ‘im sorry i know yall work hard and everything’ like i miss my customers SO MUCH because we actually had relationships with them and shit and ugh god. if the customers were shitty tho i would never have kept this job lmfao 

i stayed at this job simply bc i made enough money for rent and my bills perfectly and it was one of the few jobs where i was paid an hourly wage + tips. and i wanted my next job to be a job in my field. that’s why i stuck around so long, it took some time to do that.

so yeah theres my mess i love anyone who read this and you can have my first born and be the beneficiary to my life insurance when i die

[patchworktail]

ITS 4:30 AM AND I DONT FEEL LIKE SLEEPING so I’m gonna do this meme that i got tagged for twiCE and totally forgot to do til now!!!! (i had 2 dig through your blogs to find them omg)

ANYWAY i was tagged by both @mooitstimdrake​ and @cynessie​ (I MISS U BOTH BTW ❤)

RULES: Share 11 facts about yourself, answer 11 questions provided by the tagger, tag 11 awesome people and leave 11 questions for them to answer!

(I’m gonna skip tagging people/asking 11 questions - 1) because I’m lazy 2) because a lot of people who I would tag either have already been tagged or woN’T DO IT and 3) I have to answer two sets of 11 questions anyway so I’ll let one of those sets take the place of my 11 questions!!)

11 Facts

I was supposed to leave to move into my college 3 days ago but since my college is in Savannah they pushed off move-in/orientation for a weEK BECAUSE OF HURRICANE IRMA AND I’M STILL UPSET/DISAPPOINTED

That being said I’m about to start as a college freshman at art school, planning on majoring in animation! :D

I binged all of Buzzfeed Unsolved in like 2 days and I fuckin LOVE IT

Also BNHA is like my current main obsession???? I fell in love w that anime and uhhhh I’d Die For My Kids

I almost never use skype anymore - I’m always on Discord now (mutuals may add me just message me if you want my tag :3c)

I loooove creating OCs and my main OC is a forest elf named Rally and he’s precious and I LOVE HIM AND COULD TALK ABOUT HIM FOR HOURS (also my best friend @/harpxer and I have a huge ongoing rp with him and her mountain elf oc, Kahl!! they’re really gay)

Hmmm fun fact I guess I’ve been involved with internet communities since I was 10 years old and I made my very first internet friend when I was 10 and we’re still great friends and talk p much every day to this day (hi @/fiishr)

I want a tattoo super bad but idk what I’d geT

I worked at a jewelry engraving stand at an amusement park this summer and one night I accidentally gave myself a 1st degree burn on my finger from the hot glue gun and it hurt So Bad

I had my graduation party this July and it was really fun but the best part was when 14 of us played this giant game of spoons and it got really intense, made worse by people randomly screaming during it, and then we collectively decided to blast hardcore rap music from the speakers and Let Me Tell You i have not been involved in a more stressful card game in my LIFE

I’ll always always always fall for the hero/happy character/protagonist basically....idk what it is about me but I’m so Predictable...I love cute optimistic brave characters who just wanna do Right.....I don’t cARE IF PEOPLE THINK THEY’RE BORING I THINK THEY’RE PERFECT AND AMAZIGN AND I LOVE THEM

AS FOR AN EXTRA 12TH FACT ABOUT ME AS U CAN SEE I WRITE WAY TOO MUCH AND ALSO I’M THE BIGGEST OVERSHARER E V E R IT’S SO BAD SOMEONE STOP ME

ANYWAY ONTO THE QUESTIONS :3c

@mooitstimdrake​‘s Questions:

If you were to make a new blog dedicated to one single thing (fandom, hobby/activity, etc) what would it be? Honestly, right at the moment probably BNHA!!!! it’s legit my most recent big obsession and I love it?? so much???

If you could have any kind of animal as a pet, what would you have? A RACCOON!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THEM SOSOSOSOSOS MUCH and some people actually do have them as pets! They can be difficult though but WORTH IT

Who was your favorite teacher and why were they your favorite? OH BOY......I’m gonna say it’s a tie between my AP studio art teacher and my AP US government teacher from this past year, my senior year! My AP art teacher because our class was super tiny, 12 kids, and it really felt like a family?? She was a-okay with letting us all goof around and say weird shit, she was really chill and funny and like. part teacher, part friend, which was always nice. As for my AP gov teacher, he was SO. FUCKING. FUNNY. OH MAN. NOT EVEN ON PURPOSE he just like? put up with SO MUCH? we had some real character kids in that class and my teacher’s reactions were HILARIOUS. he had a sarcastic streak too so his responses were equally as funny when someone did something weird. He would say the funniest stuff just ask @/harpxer I would tell her so many stories from that class sohboshrb. Aside from the humor that class was really interesting, and he’s a really good, invested teacher - he wanted us to learn, he’s super passionate about government and history, and he always started off each class with 2 current events which was really nice and helped me learn more about things happening in the world too!!! overall that was like my fav non-art class I’ve ever taken!!!!

What’s your guilty pleasure (and I’m challenging you not to say some kind of food)? HMMMMM. Honestly I’m gonna go ahead and say really cheesy or lame movies/shows (like, Disney channel movies, dumb shows - like the one summer I watched all of Glee LOL, stuff like that). Like yeah I know 90% of it is terRIBLE but it’s still amusing/lighthearted stuff that makes me happy KLSDJVLSDHB

Favorite pizza topping? EXTRA CHEESE IF THAT COUNTS, if not then pepperoni!!

What’s the last thing you bought (that wasn’t food)? I’ve actually been buying a lot the past few weeks in prep for college/spending a little money for ONCE since I worked all summer. I got a bunch of boring stuff but the things I’m most excited about are: two posters I got for my dorm (The Office is one and one is Lord Huron), a giant wall tapestry (it’s Up themed!!!), tWO BNHA/POKEMON CHARMS THAT CAME TODAY AND EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THEM I START CRYING BC THEYRE SO CUTE, and oh my GOD I BOUGHT THIS GIANT PILLOW FROM TARGET AND IT IS THE SINGLE SOFTEST THING I’VE EVER FELT AND IT’S HUGE AND IT IMMEDIATELY BECAME MY #1 COMFORT OBJECT AND TOP FIVE FAV THINGS IVE EVER BOUGHT!!!!!! I guess MOST recently though I just bought Clip Studio Paint online today (art program) since it’s on sale for 50% off and I’ve heard great things about it!

What upcoming movies/tv shows are you looking forward to? UHHHHH as for movies... justice league part 1, the incredibles 2, kingsman 2, the neW POKEMON MOVIE I CHOOSE YOU, probably a lot more I can’t remember rn. AS FOR SHOWS HMMM I’m...excited for the next season of the good place and izombie, and oh I’m excited for the punisher netflix show!! and the next season of voltron of COURSE!!! and next season of stranger things!! probably more I’m forgetting too tbh

Any recommendations (this could be anything just throw your best pitch at me)? JFISDJKLBJ I DON’T KNOW OMG tbh rachel you watch a lot of the same things I do already LMAOOO

What’s your favorite thing to wear that you own? OH FUCK I DUNNO HMMM I really like wearing my various leggings and scarves, but as like a Single Item....I like wearing....uhhhh I have this giANT sweater like it’s WAY too big for me but it’s so COMFY and I love it. I also love wearing my Star Labs sweatshirt bc it’s soft and comfortable

What was your first pet? my cat!!! we took her in as a stray kitten living in our backyard when I was like. 2 or 3 and so we’ve basically had her my whole life!!

If you could learn any language, what would it be? UHHHHHH honestly probably spanish - I took it 4 straight years and was okay at it in class but one year went by with me not taking it and I forgot everything LOOOL I’m...bad....at languages....

@cynessie‘s Questions:

Where is the coolest place you’ve ever been? I haven’t been many cool places :( I guess the coolest isssss I dunno it depends? Lake George is where I go on vacation every year, I LOVE NYC, I love Savannah too and it’s where I’m gonna be for college so?? ?? ?  ? I’VE NEVER BEEN OUT OF THE COUNTRY AND I’M SAD BUT I’M POOR AND CAN’T AFFORD IT

What was the first thing you remember wanting to be when you grew up? veterinarian!! 

Look to your right. What do you see? a dirty plate on my desk, my bed just past that, and my CHARMS THAT CAME TODAY THAT ARE SO CUTE I CRY EVERY TIME I SEE THEM

What are you procrastinating on? ajkldjboidj lik e 4 art commissions,,,, and 7 MAP parts,,,, and my pre-work for 2 of my classes,,,,,,,and cleaning my room,,,, and sending thank-you notes to relatives,,, SOMEONE KICK MY ASS AND MAKE ME DO SHIT

Which family member are you closest too and what is their name? UHHHH.... I guess my younger brother Luke? or maybe my mom? I’m not on bad terms with anyone though, I love both my older brothers too and we all have a good sibling relationship I just talk more with my younger bro I think - second closest would be with my second older brother Connor!

What’s the last song you listened to? I’m listening to Ultralife by Oh Wonder right now :3c I’ve been on a huUUGE Oh Wonder kick lately!!

What do you generally carry in your bag/pockets when you go out? my wallet (w my license and money and debit card and all), travel size lotion, phone, and chap stick!!

What is one thing you are excited for? FINALLY GETTING TO COLLEGE NEXT WEEK AND STARTING CLASSES FJIODFHINBDFHBNSBO

Do you believe in ghosts? I’m gonna hesitantly say YES but I’m not 100% convinced I don’t think

What is a skill you want to learn? MAYBE THIS IS WEIRD but I think learning how to act would be kinda neat. On a more realistic note I wish I could learn to exercise without dying

Tell me a joke. I’M BAD AT JOKES DON’T DO THIS TO ME NESSIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO YEAH THAT’S ALL FOLKS it’s 5am now...Nice..... :’) I love my ability to stay up obscenely late while also getting Nothing Done JLSDNVDHAGHVDLAK

[briteboy]

MORE ASKS I’VE BEEN IGNORING!!!!!!!

GET ‘EM WHILE THEY’RE HOT

P.S. ALL OF U WHO SENT ME THE CHAIN THINGY ILYSOMUCH 

Why is her step-douche such a foken piece of shit? omg i hate him

some mysteries are never meant to be explained tbh. why is he so ugly and evil? who wronged him? but also who cares he’s in jail forever now good riddance ugly

I know this is probably really bad, but after I saw the newest molly posts, I thought of that video where the little girl is yelling "MISS KEISHA, MISS KEISHA, oh my fukin gosh she fukin dead"

OMFGFD I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THAT VIDEO WAS SO I JUST WATCHED IT AND I’M LAUGHIN

i don’t blame u i bet when it happens i’m gonna be like “u know she ded”

(To the previous anon) i agree with you so, so much! In Poland, these dumbass politicians are letting shooting pregnant bisons (?? Im not sure how they're called) become legal. Like BITCH WHAT. Can you imagine??? A fucking pregnant lil' cow getting shot????? I feel Molly's pain on an emotional level rn (sorry if this is too nsfw, just needed to get that outta my system...)

i think this was in response to someone saying that hurting pregnant women is one of the worst crimes but um WTF shooting animals at all makes me itchy but pregnant ones..............nah that’s......nah

it’s ok get it outta ur system i’m here 4 u

the first thing I check in the morning is your account.... you have me whipped! ;|

OMG WHA LMAO REALLY that’s wild. i feel like i’m the only one who looks at my page which is dumb but like idk i still feel like a little kid that no one cares about lmao. but then you guys exist and amaze me with your responsiveness every day and i just ;____________; ily all

hi Sunny. first of all i'm gonna say i love your story and your editing style so much! your blog is goals like literally. i need an advice if you don't mind. you always find such amazing angles for your pictures while mine are so boring. any tips or tricks you can share?

HI thank you so much ;-; sooooo i’ve been thinking about this question the past couple of times i went in game, trying to figure out how to describe how i take pictures. for one thing i live in tab mode lmao. meaning you press the tab button on your keyboard to go into camera mode and get all these sexy angles and super zoom and stufffff. i almost always zoom in super far idk why. so there’s one tip. i honestly just play around with going up and down with the q and e keys (i think?) until i find angles i like. i take a lottttt of pictures with so many different angles just so i have a lot to choose from. basically i try to focus on different things in each picture in order to get a mix of the most diverse and dynamic shots possible. you just need to experiment and get creative. i know that’s the most vague advice ever but really just try a new angle that you’ve never considered before and i bet you’ll get cool results. an interesting setting is also the biggest factor, because certain objects and their placements will give you interesting results. 

i honestly want to print out your reaction pic to that one post and just hang it on my wall, put it in my heart locket necklace, stamp it on people's faces, start an email thread with it. i love it.

an add on to the last ask i sent about your reaction pic. i've been looking at it religiously since it was posted, and i dont regret a minute of it. LMAO I'LL STOP NOW.

SAKJDLJKGKSDAF STOPPPP LMAOOO i looked so ugly but that was my pure unadulterated reaction to that question and i trust you all to not judge my ugliness and instead share this reaction with me. i’m glad u liked it that much, i just printed it out and i’m cutting it into a small heart to put inside ur locket ok

everytime i hear cigarette daydreams by cage the elephant i think of a serious case of the novembers like its so fitting and then i get all emo when i listen to it lmao rip

OMMMMGGGGGGG YESSSSS how have i never made that connection before honestly. cage the elephant is one of my faves and i’ve seen them perform twice actually!! i’m watching the music vid for that song now and even that reminds me of my story ;-; i cry

thank you for sending this, and also i cry @ the fact that you used the actual title *dies* now this song is gonna make me emo til the end of time thx

i might sound like some crazy stalker fan but i just want to say you are so freakin awesome and nice and funny and cute and (i can go on forever) so caring! i love your blog so much and all the hard work and care you put into all your posts and followers. thanks for making my day and making me smile so much. you have no clue how much i look forward to seeing your posts and your hilarious hashtags and answers from asks and AMAZING story posts. im sorry i just wanted to let you know ur awesome ily

OFMG WHAT!!!!!! I AM ONLY AN EEL!!!!!! but no you don’t sound like a crazy stalker, i actually love this, you’re too sweet, thank you ;-; i’m just blushin so much reading this omg. YOU EVEN LIKE MY TAGS WOW that’s true love. ily ;-; <333

how do you get your sims' facial expressions to line up with your scenes? I feel like my sims' faces are never right :(

tbh i just use a lot of the same neutral poses...my go-to’s are @helgatisha‘s poses lol. they’re the easiest to work with when i do just plain talking scenes, and often i tweak my sims’ eyebrows and mouths with the liquify tool if i want them to look a bit more concerned, sad, mad, happy, etc., it works like a charm!! i also tend to play around with angles, you’d be surprised how much a different angle can enhance a scene.

Hey smol bean, I'm sent you an ask and now I feel bad that it probably made you feel anxious because you didn't answer it. It was the one about you not liking my posts, I have anxiety too so I'm sorry If I made you feel sad. I think I'm just looking for validation from people I look upto you get me? Anyway sorry again, don't worry about it! Love you!

hiya bb, i know you saw my answer to your original post (and i’m sorry it got some negative attention, i didn’t mean for that to happen by any means) anyway don’t sweat it, and i really appreciate this follow-up message. you didn’t make me feel sad, i just wanna know what i can do. it’s just a hard question y’know. i understand what you mean, i think everyone wants validation to some degree. tbh you can just come off anon and message me, i promise it’s not as nerve-wracking as it seems! ily

How did you make Santi's tattoos? I want some like that for my Sims but idk how to do it

boop

I HAVE A FEELING THAT MOLLY IS GOING TO DIE DURING THE BIRTH OF THE BEAN OR IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH HER STEPFATHER FINDING OUT ABOUT THE BEAN

WELP U WERE RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING

how did you make your characters page on your blog like that?

uoohhh like what?? i used this theme (monolog) if that’s what you mean aheh. here’s a guide on how to use custom page themes

okay so THIS IS MY THEORY: they might keep the baby and molly might actually carry it to full term, but then the kid dies in childbirth and either molly also dies or maybe kills herself or gets killed later? or maybe she's still alive but just won't speak to santi anymore cause she like can't look him in the eye after all of that or idk?? since ppl were sending theories i wanted to add mine lmao. another possible theory is that the stepdad finds out and kills her but thats TOO DARK omg

TOO DARK U SAY...WELL!!! it’s not AS dark as you guessed but only marginally

If Molly turns out to be alive and raising their kid alone (though from what I'm seeing in response to most questions I think that may not be the route) am I allowed to slap Santi (unless Molly didn't give him the option to help) because raising a child alone is not easy I've watched my mom do it for years.

YEAH i would give you permission to slap him lmao he would be a grade A piece o’ shit if that were the case. i would never ever write that tho because santi does own up to his actions if they’re that detrimental. his altruistic nature, no matter how backwards, would never allow him to do that.

There will be complication with the abortion so she will not be able to carry a baby anymore and she's going to kill herself OR her step dad is going to find out and he'll beat her to death. And in both situation Santi his blaming himself because he wasn't there at the right time... Okay I really really hope I'm wrong now !

I don't even follow your story very closely but every time I see your posts my heart hurts.

OMFG...that’s how u know the pain is real

but like wow my stuff is really so visceral that even my apathetic followers can feel the hurt...that’s real...that’s real my guy

omg!! you should 100% play or at least watch a playthrough of life is strange! legit the best game ever made, its so beautiful. the storyline kills you a thousand times over (much like your beautiful story) <3333

yaaaa i’ve heard lots of good things about it!! my bf played it actually, maybe he’ll revisit it again someday and i’ll watch him do it (i’m only a fan of video games if i can watch them like a movie lmao) thank you btw <3

I am shook and I worship you and your story and you are amazing WOW BYE

WORSHIP LMAO WHAT!!! PLS I AM UNDESERVING...ily tho don’t worship false gods

Do you let Molly and the younger versions of your characters frolic around your main save or do they have a separate one?

UM YES LMAO because i didn’t even know you could have separate saves until after i started the flashbacks lmao i’m...a noob. i don’t want separate saves anyway because 1) it’s too much of a hassle switching back and forth and 2) it gets too confusing for me and i’d be afraid of overwriting one save with another and NOPE too much anxiety for that soooo yeah there’s three santis in my game: child, teen and adult lmfao (fun fact: teen santi’s name is literally just Lil Santi)

I made it to my senior year with 6 A's and 1 B ... Be proud of me too? 😂 Lmao I told this to people and some of them were just like .. okay cool?! LMAO it's so funny but also kinda sad

I AM PROUD OF YOU TOO!!!!!!!!! my smart childrens

“okay cool” UM PLEASE that’s a feat...at my school if you got an A in a class in senior year you were allowed to be exempt from the final. so yeah that rules. ily

[knifenymph]

1,2,3,4,5,8,10,11,13,14,15,18,19,20,21,22,24,25,26,27,28,29,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,47,48,49,50,51,52,53,55,56,57,58,59,60,61,62,63,64,65,67,68,70,71,72,73,74,75,76,77,78,79,80,81,82,83,84,85,86,87,88,89,90,92,93,96,97,98,99

aria youre such a dork lol i love u

putting all of these under the cut bc lord have mercy

1. What is you middle name?

jumbotron

2. How old are you?

7 and a half

3. When is your birthday?

jan! 

4. What is your zodiac sign?

capricorn

5. What is your favorite color?

pink! or yellow

8. Where are you from?

georgia! born and raised

10. What shoe size are you?

i range from 6-7 depending on the brand lol but if its adidas,,, then like 4 and a half ngl

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

legit like 3 bc i really don’t care abt shoes in the slightest

13. What talents do you have?

i can fit my whole fist in my mouth.

14. Are you psychic in any way?

LOL……hmm….i don’t know….

15. Favorite song?

IT HURTS UNTIL IT DOESNT BY MOTHERS !!!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH !!!

18. Do you want children?

if i want to, then ill def adopt! i want to adopt a teen tbh bc teens don’t get adopted ever really 

19. Do you want a church wedding?

i have no idea lol

20. Are you religious?

yep

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

never for myself

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

nope im not wild

24. Baths or showers?

showers are more ideal

25. What color socks are you wearing?

the left one is purple and the right one is blue

26. Have you ever been famous?

yes i’m famous right now as we speak

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

nope

28. What type of music do you like?

alternative for sure

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

LOL yea when i was like nine

32. How big is your house?

a pretty decent size

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

i don’t like eating breakfast

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

nuh uh

35. Have you ever tried archery?

yep when i was in like girl scouts

36. Favorite clean word?

dove

37. Favorite swear word?

i dont swear

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

38 hours lol coincidentally

39. Do you have any scars?

yep yep but theyre all from falling or tripping or something like that LOL when i was younger

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

probably

41. Are you a good liar?

no clue

42. Are you a good judge of character?

for sure

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

heck no!!! except for when i speak in french then yea

44. Do you have a strong accent?

at times, i sound really really country and it freaks me out LOL

45. What is your favorite accent?

im not sure tbh

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

like, i really don’t buy expensive clothes at all bc i see it as a waste of money. but my most expensive piece of clothing is probably a dress or something

48. Can you curl your tongue?

yep in 4 diff ways

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

a little bit of both

50. Left or right handed?

righty ftw

51. Are you scared of spiders?

not overtly so but cockroaches and palmetto bugs can suck it i fricken hate those guys

52. Favorite food?

fruit

53. Favorite foreign food?

i haven’t traveled out of the country in a very long time lol idk

55. Most used phrased?

probably “what the heck?”

56. Most used word?

probably “mega”

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

around 20 mins

58. Do you have much of an ego?

its a healthy size lol

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

a little bit of both

60. Do you talk to yourself?

if I’m reading something out loud that is hard to understand then yea

61. Do you sing to yourself?

oh heck yea who doesnt

62. Are you a good singer?

id like to think so lol

63. Biggest Fear?

no idea but i don’t want to find out lol

64. Are you a gossip?

i really try my best not to be

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

wonder woman was so good

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

i used to be able to, idk if i still can!

68. Favorite school subject?

french for sure

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

i have!

71. What makes you nervous?

the idea of ppl twisting my words

72. Are you scared of the dark?

nope

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

usually yea but it depends on the mistake for sure

74. Are you ticklish?

a little bit lol

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

i really prefer to not talk abt ppl so not to my knowledge i don’t think

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

oh yep for sure. i always assume the leader role when i’m in groups for the most part

77. Have you ever drank underage?

yea bc it was a dare and i wanted to look cool in front of my online friends but it could’ve been really bad and in the future, i don’t want to drink ever. plus, it didnt help that it tasted like cold pee

78. Have you ever done drugs?

absolutely not

79. Who was your first real crush?

there was this boy in 6th grade who i really liked named Ethan but he was a douche to me and stood me up which sucked 

80. How many piercings do you have?

my ears are pierced but i might be getting a belly button piercing with my mom in the future LOL

81. Can you roll your Rs?

i sure can 

82. How fast can you type?

somewhere around 70-100 words per min give or take a few. i can’t remember the number i got when i took a test for it

83. How fast can you run?

i can run really fast but i don’t have good endurance bc i don’t exercise

84. What color is your hair?

red! but i plan on dyeing it again

85. What color is your eyes?

brown!

86. What are you allergic to?

nothing to my knowledge

87. Do you keep a journal?

yep

88. What do your parents do?

my mother works for an exhibition company and my dad has his own counseling company 

89. Do you like your age?

i have mixed feelings abt it

90. What makes you angry?

i dont really get angry, more just annoyed but like, when ppl talk behind your back but then try to pretend like they like u to your face. it just,,, really irks me

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

i truly love the name Michael for a boy but i don’t know for a girl

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

preferably a girl i think

96. How did you get your name?

i was actually going to be named jalyn but then my parents saw my name somewhere in a restaurant/store of some sort and just loved it for me

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

no idea but probably. i’m so mixed there honestly is a really good chance

99. Color of your bedspread?

pink comforter, pink loose sheet, yellow stretchy sheet lol

[everything-in-particular]

1-100 also 😘

Honestly I deserve this payback. This is gonna take forever to answer.

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

More cereal

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

I don’t know what winter is I live in Texas

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

I use literally whatever I have in my hand at the time, paper clips, snickers wrappers. There’s no cute bookmarkes It’s all dog ears and trash.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

In large quantities and in many different ways. Coffee, black with some sort of flavor. If not that then just coffee and creamer, no sugar. Tea is usually chai or black just with milk.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

No! And No one should be! Smiles to me are the most attractive thing about people.

6: do you keep plants?

I’ve had a succulent for six months and I have not watered it nor cared for it and it’s still alive so…

7: do you name your plants?

I have another succulent that has five stems and my friend named them all after the scooby doo gang.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

I don’t have feelings. But I have literally exhausted all artistic mediums.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

My favorite thing to do is belt out songs when I’m home alone or driving in a car so yeah.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

Trick question I don’t sleep

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

I have too many. With my best friend sometimes we just scream old people names at each other in text.

Example:

Bff: ALFRED

Me: BERNARD

Bff:  ALTHEA

Me: KEITH

Bff: KEITH!!!

And then with a couple other friends we have one where we yell the “Where are you” from Blink 182’s “I miss you”

12: what’s your favorite planet?

This one. Its really nice. lov the oxygen. having rings lik saturn here would be neato but its cool.

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

I was planning to make brownies tonight and then I gave up half way through so I just ate brownie batter and it was great, college is great.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

It’d be one of those open industrial plans with lofts and spiral stair cases and wooden frames on the ceiling. Big windows

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

if two untreated metals in space touch they will bond permanently bc there is no oxygen to form an oxidized layer around the metal. Dont wear earings in the vaccum of space i guess. You’ll never be able to take the backings off

6: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

All.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

Green

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

We had the cops called on us because on of my friends barked at my neighbors dog.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

I have my notes on my phone and in it are about 807 entries ranging from random shit like a single word “zoo” with no context or explanation. Entire novels that I was writing and gave up on the last chapter, also conversations with no context between characters that I made up that have no names. Also, recipes for stupid things like Mac and cheese balls, ideas for artwork/stories/products. Essentially nothing is finished. I also have around 10 sketchbooks that have never been completed.

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

All of them but the ones that are like brown and then transition to blueish greenish at the edges at trippy and cool.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

I struggle with bags and purses. I always leave them places. This is why I am a very passionate advocate for womens clothing to have bigger pockets

22: are you a morning person?

If by morning do you mean when I wake up at 2pm? Because even then no. Don’t talk to me when I’ve woken up.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

Sleep

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Yeah it’s really nice.

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

Not weird just a new house that hadn’t been bought yet.

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

See I get a pair like that once a year and  I’ll wear the shit out of it then they get holes and I have to get rid of them.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Mint. I hate the taste of bubble gum flavor bubble gum

28: sunrise or sunset?

If I’m awake to see a sunrise I am not a happy person that shits too early. Sunset all the way

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

Exist

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

Yeah. I’ve been absolutely freaking terrified.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

I like cool socks and I enjoy wearing socks but also I cannot be bothered to actually find a pair to put on in the morning so I never wear socks.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

Literally every fun story happens after 3 am, id be here all day. 

33: what’s your fave pastry?

I fucking love Pillsberry Crescent croissants. Like don’t give me legit croissants made in France, I won’t like it as much as pillsberry.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

It’s name is Chicky and it’s actually I think supposed to be a stuffed duck, but I was 2 so I called it Chicky. Fun fact, my mom and everyone would ask me if Chicky was a a boy or a girl because I would call it he and she interchangeably and usually just Chicky. And my response would always be. “It’s just Chicky” and then they would ask “but is it a boy or girl?” And my three year old self was just like “??? Are you not paying attention? It’s a Chicky” so yeah I was fighting gender normatively at a young age, I was a pretty woke 3 year old.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I’m hella picky about nice pens but I don’t care how they look just how they write.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

Of Monsters and Men

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

It’s not that I like keeping it messy but it will always always always be untidy.

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

When people speak for me. Like when someone asks me a question and then someone else goes “Well Annaleise doesn’t want to-” or something along the lines of that. Like I’m right here and I can speak for myself thanks.

39: what color do you wear the most?

Gray.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

I gotta small silver rose necklace that I got for my 16th birthday. And I haven’t taken it off since. I used always love painting and drawing and making a doodling roses. And my mom picked up on it and gave me the necklace.

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

Always Harry Potter.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

I’m a slave to Starbucks but there’s a cute place on our campus called The Nook and it’s super hipster and they have huge chalk board walls for people to draw on which I love and of course they have great coffee.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

Fourth of July a couple years ago with my cousins. My aunts house is on a lake and the sky is super clear and we could see satellites orbiting. First time I’ve ever seen satellites. Super cool.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

Spring break when I finally got back home from college I took a heavy dose of Benadryl because of allergies and I woke up in my own bed feeling soft and sleepy and I had not responsibilities at the moment and it was great.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

Do people not?

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

No puns are the worst. but what do you call a cat who bought a house? A hoMEOWner

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Coleslaw and coconut water

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

I used to be terrified of lava and tornadoes and while I can’t say I’ve ever seen lava I now go outside whenever there’s a tornado siren so see if I can spot the tornadoes. Now my biggest fear is failure. Isn’t that fun?

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

I like the aesthetic of record players but I do not have the patience to actually go out and buy one, pull out a record, and put it on to listen to the music. 1) because I’m all about instant gratification bc I have like no self control so if I can play it in two seconds on my phone then why would I go through all the trouble of a record and 2) I rarely like all the songs from an album. My music taste is all over the place so even if I like a band I like maybe 3 of there songs and they’d be from different albums.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

I collected coke cans and bottles. Like any special/old/limited edition coke cans or bottles I would keep them. I have a whole shelf in my closet. I now collect mugs.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

My brother and Kid Cudi’s “Mr. Rager”

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

The funniest and most random to me has been the “Cask of Amontillado” meme. Also Bone apple tea and student athlete memes kill me idk why.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

I fuck with Heathers (but the musical) and I have seen beetlejuice but it’s been a while. Not seen the others tho.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

My mom.

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

When I was younger I saw in a movie that trick where you put a chair against a door handle to block people from getting in so I used to do it whenever I got mad at my mom.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

I like when people get in a silly mood.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

I can’t not dramatically reenact the lyrics and I don’t trust people who don’t.

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

In all groups of friends I’m usually the vodka aunt.

59: what’s your favorite myth?

The Trojan Horse has always been hilarious to me because sneaking a whole army into a city through a wooden horse they made sounds like something I would come up with. It’s ridiculous but it still worked.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

Yes, and not to be mainstream but Edgar Allen Poe is my bro and according to my grandma we’re related to him through his cousin. But in middle school I had a really awesome English teacher who was obsessed with him and I basically know “The Raven” “Tell Tale Heart” “The cask of Amontillado” and “Annabelle Lee” memorized because of her.

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

I once gave a kids bop CD wrapped in candy canes for a white elephant. At another white elephant I recieved fabric sleeves that had tattoo graphics on them but it didn’t match my skin color. It was great.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

TBH I don’t eat or drink until like 3 pm

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

Nothing in my life is organized.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

Black

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

Many people.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

It’d have a bunch of different kinds of flowers that don’t match.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

Super peaceful and chill.

68: what’s winter like where you live?

What is winter?

69: what are your favorite board games?

I loved Candyland as a kid.

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

FUCK.THAT.

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

Chai and Black tea

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

Yes I do need to jot everything down because I will forget. But do I? No.

73: what are some of your worst habits?

Touching bad skin on my face.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

A super brave and bad ass who also has deep feelings and really cares a lot. Super creative and really hilarious. hot shit. coolest person i know

75: tell us about your pets!

I have a Maltipoo named Poppy and I love her. She’s super sassy and really smart. And yells at me through howling when she wants to play, usually with a toy in her mouth so it sounds super muffled and anything but intimidating.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

Yeah actually I have a huge fucking project. I gotta make 3 vases for my Studio but instead I’m answering 100 questions. It’s my own fault tho. I started it.

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

Pink

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

Minions need to die

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

If anyone ever says “I was thinking about you the other day and-” it’s my favorite thing

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

White because it came with the house. I hate it.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

a cool pillow

82: are/were you good in school?

I tested well and was good at essays but I was bad about turning in shit. So yes and no.

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

Fleet Foxes

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

In theory I love tattoos and in theory I really want one. Will I ever be able to decide on a design? We shall see. Also my mom told us that if any of us got tattooed she’s dissown us.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

I don’t like buy comic books but I’m obsessed with all things marvel and D.C. And so I’ll read online stuff.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

Idk what this is so i googled it and i still don’t have an opinion of it.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Forest Gump, The Princess Bride, Star Wars.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

Impressionism, specifically Monet, specifically “The Magpie”

89: are you close to your parents?

I tell them a lot but I also have to withhold a lot. My mom is pretty, uhh strict, conservative and you could say narrow minded. My dad is a little more relaxed but he always goes along with whatever my mom says so I’m careful.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

I’ve literally only been once but I really loved Pittsburgh. I liked the industrial vibe. I liked how it felt like a small town and a big city at the same time.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

My family’s trying to go to Canada so I’m excited for that.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

Drowns in cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

Ponytail, bun, in a hat, in a beanie, basically any way but down. I have a limited attention span and any time my hair gets in the way I go crazy.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

My sister! She’s thirteen! Its ridiculous yesterday she was 6!

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

Working my ass off to finish this project and then little party I’m throwing in my dorm. The party I can already tell is a bad idea. Still gonna happen tho. 

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

I have not updated my phone nor computer in years (not really but it takes a fucking while)

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

ENTP, Taurus, Ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

A few years ago and yes I wish I lived somewhere where I could do it all the time.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

Float on by Modest mouse is my life’s theme song

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

Future. It’d be awesome to skip four years of this brutal program and arrive with a degree and a job. Five Years in the past means i gotta go through highschool again. Fuck That shit.

OKAY DONE SORRY FOR THE LONG ASS POST BLAME @jak

[survivingjapan]

EPISODE 5 “Can’t we just bring the crazy 15 year old in? Why is that so hard?” - Sarah

The internal struggle is real rn. Do I throw Alex under the bus and secure my safety? Or do I try to sit back and hope a new target emerges?

I don't know how many people know this, but I try to write a big piece of bullshit before every tribal to release if I'm the one voted out. Here's the one from tonight.... First of all I just want to say thank you to the hosts and to my fellow competitors. Now I'm going to expose some snakes. (Please don't hate me people, I just want to blow the game up while I'm leaving). -Linus, Alex, and Tommy are in an alliance -Jonathan HATES Richie and Alex -Jaiden has told me that he has an idol -Crow, Sarah, and Brian have an alliance -Of the 3 mentioned above, Crow and Sarah have a F2 -Tommy is by far playing the best strategic game -Junior is playing an extremely well social game -Brian is connected to the heroes on MANY levels and he'll flip to them at a tribe swap -Linus also has a good social game -Jaiden is messy as fuck

hi my name is im fucked how r u?

BIIIIIITCH I'M GOING FOR MY OTTNN5 EDGIC I'M NOT FUCKING AROUND RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!! (but hopefully i at least get a CPM) The vote was 4 votes Alex. 4 votes Kage. 1 vote ME. 1 vote tommy. 1 vote Jon. theres a tie, brian gets the rock drawn and my stupid ass was like wait my names not on the list and that alone should make me a hero for being an honest bitch but then redo and jaiden leaves and bam i ERUPT.  in the main chat i'm like YO WHO VOTED WHO LETS GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT!!! Jon/Crow/Junior all say they voted for alex, Linus says he voted for Kage and I say i voted for kage so thats 5/11 votes accounted for and i cant believe anyone actually listened to me and revealed their vote in the tribal chat lmao WILD i was completely left out of this vote and everything thats been happening on this tribe so its clear im on the bottom and with my name being thrown around at this vote whether i was actually a possible target or a decoy that shit isnt okay im not in the long term plans for ANYONE on this tribe so i have nothing to lose worst case scenario i put a big target on my back and i go out next and if that happens at least i didnt go out as a useless pawn in anyones game and its because i did something but what im hoping is to gain information (which i did because i found out how everyone voted within an hour after tribal) and 2. i wanted chaos so everyones mad at someone like kage voting jon was a big win bc that furthered their fight thats been alive since day 1 after that i went on a bit of a pity tour where i went to everyone and like was like "i feel so alone and isolated and no one trusts me and i just feel like i havent done anything to prove that you shouldnt trust me i just want to be included" just trying to make people feel bad lmao im so worked up its been 2 hours since tribal and i literally havent stopped ive been at a 100 out of 10 with everyone and im going to need to cool down and lay low but while i have momentum i caaaaant just sit around and do nothing so i guess we'll see what consequences my outbursts have had???? 

idk how to explain what just happened

I've wrote myself a hit list of people who ARE going home before me.... Jonathan Richie Linus Alex Tommy Brian

So after a few hours of info gathering I think I have bits and pieces of what happened in that last vote.... So the alliance of 7 (Myself, Jonathan, Sarah, Tommy, Brian, Jaiden, & Junior) were supposed to vote for Alex. However, Jaiden, being bored with the game or feeling outcast at the bottom decides that this is merely a ploy to get us to throwaway our votes. Then, he approaches various people, which I know to be Brian, Linus, and Junior (at least) about the possibility of still voting Kage. Whether this was to insight chaos or division for entertainment or strategy, I don't know.... Meanwhile, Alex is feeling on the outs as he's a smart player and observed it so he threw a vote at Tommy. Whether this was because he knew it would force the vote to tie or simply because he didn't like Tommy and wanted to give him a parting gift, I also don't know.... Jonathan, Tommy, myself, and Sarah stuck to the plan to vote out Alex (however, Sarah doesn't want to expose her vote in public and cause a confrontation between her and Junior considering Junior lied about his vote too....) Kage voted Jonathan in the same regard that Alex did. (Again, I don't know if it was planned or not or if either had connections to Jaiden's plans, but they both threw away their votes despite them being clear targets.....sketch....) Which means that someone threw a vote at Richie and is not fessing up about it. Richie voted Kage because I'm sure that's what everyone told him to do (as we were supposed to) and he was just alone. The vote for Richie, in my opinion, was likely Jaiden, given his rep for paranoia and throwing votes away to avoid rocks/idol plays (ironic, huh?) and that Junior voted for Kage as a part of Jaiden's plan considering there's a strong possibility that him and Linus are connected.... So right now, I trust Tommy, Jonathan, Alex, Sarah (but I'm also a little worried as to why she doesn't want to tell the truth to everyone....) and honestly, still Brian because I can relate to his position.....I want to build trust with Richie but we're not there quite yet. My targets would be Kage and Junior as of now. Kage just....just needs to go and Junior is a massive rat with a few too many strings on this tribe. Either or, I don't care which one goes first.... Or I'm totally wrong and still aligning myself with rats =)

I got REALLY lucky yesterday, however I also lost my closest ally in the process.  And I told him I would slay the rest of this game for him, so I must avenge Jaiden (who I will confessional-ize about all the time!).  I had some major damage control and I just pushed over and over again that I voted Kage, the truth, so that people would trust me more.  I hope they do still trust me, and I do think they realize that I'm still useful to most of them.  I grew insanely close to Richie after that happened, and the two of us will most definitely be working together.  Linus still trusts me, and I think Alex might still trust me to an extent.  Kage and I are probably done which is fine.  Junior is a snake or so I think.  Tommy doesn't not trust me, he just probably won't trust me as much.  But he did know about the Kage vote, so I didn't completely shock him.  Sarah and Crow need me, I think.  Jonathan needs me.  I hope my thoughts on all this are right djskahsd.

OK LISTEN THE FUCK UP HUNTIES!! IM ABOUT TO SPILL ALL THE GOOD TEA AND HONESTLY I WOULD HAVE DONE IT ON A VIDEO BUT MY PHONE! IS A POS AND apparently i have too many videos already? ANYWAYS SO I HAVENT MADE A CONFESSIONAL AND WEVE GONE TO TRIBAL COUNCIL THREE TIMES VILLAINS ARE A MESS HONESTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so the first vote was between brian and pat and then i messaged brian and i was like heheh i wannt to keep u so crow and i went around talking to ppl to see how they felt (crow and i didnt plan this out btw i guess we both just wanted to keep him?) SO THEN PAT WENT HOME! on a 9-3-1 vote ash self voted kage(mess), tommy and pat voted brian and the rest of us voted pat so anyways then WE FUCKING LOSE AGAIN!?!? are these heroes on steroids? idk? anyways! we gotta go to tribal council again and at this point im kinda like ok i feel fine.....AND DO U WANNA KNOW WHY??? crow and brian and I have an alliance jaiden and jr and I have an alliance tommy felt bad about being in minority and not listening to me for the pat vote so we have pledged our f2 together and he is literally the light of my life...i cant tell if he feels the same but boy do i love this boy...hes my ned pt 2 anyways so jonathan decided that he wanted a majority alliance with crow, brian, me, him, jaiden, jr andDD TOMMY !!! LEGIT ALL THE PPL IM ALLIGNED WITH SO IM IN THE FUCKING MIDDLE AHHHH SCREAM SCREAM BITCH THE FUCK CREAM CHEESE SCREAM so that works out ...obv i dont like jaiden or jr bc they fucking suck anyways so we all vote together to vote out ashley ... and kage and richie and linus and alex are just there i heard there have been an alliance with alex, kage, linus and tommy -which tommy doesnt like btw i know jr and linus are a thing richie and alex are prob a thing everyone is connected and tbh i dont really care for any of these players except for tommy...and Id like to add crow to that list but we all know hes a mastermind so ...i aint a dumb bitch SO ANYWAYS NOW ONTO THE THIRD VOTE...WE HAVE MAJORITY AND WE DECIDE TO VOTE OUT ALEX well DOESNT THAT GO ASTRAY jaiden decided to vote out kage, brian voted with him so basically heres how the voting went (hopefully im correct) crow-alex jon-alex tommy-alex sarah-alex kage-jon richie-kage brian-kage jaiden-kage linus-kage jr-richie alex-tommy but everyone thot i voted out ....richie..and I KNOW IN THE BOTTOM OF MY FUCKING HEART THAT JR IS LYING!! AND HE WONT ADMIT IT and heres why i know hes lying and hes a snake a rama 1) he put ashleys name out there on the second vote-he got scared it was gonna come to bite him in the ass so he told ppl "hes hearing ashleys name" 2) he has a clear alliance with kage and has been trying to keep him this entire time when its obvious no one likes him !?!? 3) he told kage that ashley went around saying kages name LOL which is funny so now kage hated ashley and they both hated eachother and tbh idrc if jr wants to make stupid obvious moves like this to pit two idiotic players against one another but hey ! like ...as long as u aint trying ur shit with me then idfc about u bitch 4) he voted richie and hes lying...like fucking stop? so anyways BECAUSE JAIDEN AND JR ARE UGLY AF INSIDE AND OUT I NOW NEED TO AMEND TIES WITH FUCKING ALEX bc him and i had an agreement of f2 :c so i tell him i voted him and that i didnt want to lie and then he wants a majority alliance with me, crow, brian, linus and richie !!! which im down for like bitch im not gonna turn down an alliance!?! but i will tell tommy about this bc i like that alex and tommy both dont like eachother hehe but alex is def playing middle but ill just let him think hes being slick BUT ANYWAYS I WAS BORED AT 1 AM LAST NIGHT SO GUESS WHAT I DECIDED TO DO ... look for the idol... so it went a little something like this me: josh i know ur online LET ME SEARCH FOR IDOL josh: yes hello wanna search me: YES josh: ok! me: josh pls give me an idol pls josh *crickets* josh: Congratulations! You have found the Modoru idol. This is a special idol with special powers. This idol, when played, will restart the round to before the last immunity challenge, halting the tribal council, resulting in no elimination from the game. The immunity challenge will be reconducted, and the game will continue as normal. It is important to note that is idol must be played before the votes are read, at the same time as a normal idol. If any other idol is played in addition to this idol, it shall be returned to it’s owner. me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HAVE A FUCKING FISH IDOL anyways ya so thats what u missed on glee

The Heroes showing up to slay the villains in the challenge honestly I dont know whats my more favorite thing, winning immunity or watching the villains descend into madness

We won immunity again out of luck..... woopdy freakin doo. I feel kinda bad for the heroes because the Villains are having all the FUN and I wanna be included in on the fun, but I do have to keep reminding myself that no matter how eager I am, it's good that I've been immune these few times because, eventually, if I make it there, I'll have to go to every single tribal council, and knowing how horrific I am under pressure when it comes to individual immunities, I probably won't win many of those. But one good thing did come out of this round, and it's the fact that Kendall painted a bigger target on her back if we were to go to tribal, and it's to get her the fuck out of here. I know she's a strong player, and taking this opportunity to take her out, without even cutting the legs off of her body (and by that I mean taking out Ruthie first, so she feels safe and then stabbing her in the throat), but since Kendall is making it so easy to just target her dumb ass, I guess that'll work too and maybe I can now look into using Ruthie as an asset in this game, especially since she's so nice, she seems really loyal and doesn't have many social skills going around according to what I'm hearing from the tribe. Maybe it's time to start building that final relationship in our tribe, so I can use it in case we swap tomorrow, which I'm highly speculating

I also think it's about that time where I start picking up those strong relationships with those Villains like I had night one, especially if we're swapping tomorrow. I want to keep conversations raw and not too deep. Like a "Good Luck at tribal" and see if it'll spark anything. I've been consistently talking to Tommy, Linus and Crow, but I also know Tommy has been having consistent conversations with members of our tribe, and honestly, there's a chance I might slip this information to Crow to see if he can take out Tommy, especially because he's a winner. OMG THIS CONFESSIONAL JUST GAVE ME A BRILLIANT IDEA. Let's see if I can low-key just plant the seed to get him the fuck out of here and see what's up :)

Drew and Alex C. hosting a main season TOGETHER during Japan? Mood. This is from after me winning the duel. Oops forgetting to submit it from last round

BY THE MOTHERFUCKING GRACE OF JESUS CHRIST I SOMEHOW GOT THE IDOL CLUE WITH AN 8% CHANCE OF IT POTENTIALLY GOING TO ME (ya know.... 1/12 #math). I know it's in the meadow based off of the clue, and lucky for me I already searched there once, so I've got a 1/3 shot of finding it........ AND I FUCK IT THE FUCK UP. Essentially I have two options here, either go to one of my closest allies (Steffen or Trace) to search for the idol as well in the space I told them to, and then they hopefully will it over to me, OR I just wait until next round and HOPE I'm still on Heroes beach (despite the high speculation of a swap), and just hope that I can search again to better my odds. I decided there's no time like the present, so I run to Steffen and Trace, but Steffen answers first, so lucky for Steffen, and I tell him the predicament, and he goes to look for the idol and nada. Now at this point, I just gotta wait it out because I think there's a decent chance we won't be swapping, and that would be incredible for my game because then I can actually go for it now and find out if it has been found or not. I'm getting the feeling that at the fifth round of this game, either someone got a secret idol clue during their search (which is very possible) or that someone got DUMB lucky. Either way, I'm keeping optimistic at this point and praying that shit goes my way. ~Cheers to not a swap~

Also, fucking Tommy keeps messaging me about swapping tribes and wanting to abandon ship with the villains because it's essentially him and Kage vs everyone else. I'm not really sure if this is true, especially because he has fucking won this game before, but I'm going to assume, based on what's been told to me, that it is actually Tommy and Kage vs the tribe, and I think it'll be an interesting tribal tonight, with it being likely that Kage goes home. On a totally different note, I decided to try to utilize my relationship with Crow on the villains tribe, and let him know that A LOT of Heroes have been getting messages from Tommy nonstop, and as much as I think he's nice, the second I found out about Tommy messaging ALL the heroes, and not just me, it made me realize that I don't really think I can trust him and that he's gotta go. I wonder if Crow is going to be taking my advice, or maybe cutting the legs off of Tommy, but Tommy can be a huge tool for me that I can use against the Villains if I end up on a swapped tribe that could fuck me over in numbers, but with Tommy, I've got a shot. As of now, I think Kage is going from what Tommy told me, which means that Tommy is likely next on the chopping block, and he's been talking to me A LOT about mutinying, but I'm not really sure he can do that, but if he can, and he chooses to, there probably won't be much stopping me from booting him out of our tribe almost immediately. We'll see how tonight goes because I'm HIGHLY skeptical about it, but I've got faith that we're not swapping because our tribe declared that Dom is competing in this duel for our tribe, and idk if the hosts are fucking with us or not, but if they are, then kudos to them because I don't know what to think at this point

https://youtu.be/6yiILcktIqo

[i-amusemyself]

Every and all countries.

HEY ITS MY FAVE ANON!!!! 😄😄😄💕 Thankies!!!! (Sorry for the delay, ive barely had internet)

America: What is your favourite place to eat?I’m not really sure 😂 I dont ever really go out to eat and if I do I just end up going to McDonalds or Nandos tbh

Australia: Do you have any quirks when speaking? ….I don’t know, I don’t pay much attention! I know if my head is somewhere else I’m terrible at keeping eye contact. Besides that I basically just laugh for one reason or another and say sorry 24/7.

Austria: already answered

Belarus: Is there anyone that you love? Family/friends/romantic interest etc.Oh hell yeah definitely!! I love my family one way or another ig. My friends, even the ones I don’t see often, I absolutely adore! I have like 5 people I would legit die for 😂

Belgium: What do you think of your siblings?I dont have any. I wish I did tho.

Botswana: Do you like to sing? Why?Yeah, I like singing since it sometimes helps when my mood gets down. I only really do it when I’m alone tho bc im shy

Bulgaria: Who do you consider close to you?I have 3 close friends tbh and id trust them with just about anything

Cameroon: Describe your culture.Lmaoooo what culture? 😂 I’m basically english and i dont even know if the things associated with that would be considered cultural? Idk we just drink tea, say sorry and are supposed to have a stiff upper lip at all times

Canada: Favourite wintertime activity?Not having to go to school 😂 idk tbh, sledging is kinda fun from what i remember?

China: already answered

Cuba: What sort of grudges do you hold if any?I very rarely hold grudges tbh, I let 99% of things go even if people don’t apologise. It’s hard to say where the line is without sounding overdramatic. I guess if they made my life so bad I considered ending it I wouldnt like someone too much (or if others saw that and continued to stay friends with them).

Cyprus: already answered

Denmark: Do you wish for something of your past?Nah, not really. I try my best to look forward, not back.

Egypt: Do you stand up for what you believe in? How?Ummmm, I’m not sure I could say I’m that active in it. I once wrote a long, anonymous letter to the headteacher or my school wrt the treatment and education of lgbt people. Besides that? I havent dont much. I’d go to a protest if there was one nearby that I supported.

England: Are you controlling?That’s hard to answer? Because when things happen my initial instinct is to control them. But I’m a lot more chilled out than I used to be, and continuing to try to improve on it. So the amount of things I actively try to control are very slim. The issues lies more with my hatred of vague plans tbh 😂

Estonia: Do you think people often misunderstand you?I don’t open up to that many people, not really. Most the therapists I’ve seen have never got me at all. In terms of friends, some do get it, though it depends upon what specifically I’m trying to explain/show etc.

Finland: What do you prefer; kindness, sternness or apathy?Kindness, for sure. It’s nice to know other people might look out for you when you’re not necesarily in a place to look out for yourself. Sternness is just,, hard to communicate with and apathy can put me on edge.

France: How do you share love for those you care for?Most the time I just send them memes 😂 I try to make sure I’m honest and I don’t hold back with compliments. I also try to show then that I really am interested in them/their life, tho sometimes I worry I’m annoying them.

What is the hardest thing you have ever had to do?4 A levels whilst also juggling 3 jobs at one point.

Germany: Do you have a hard time forgiving yourself?I rarely forgive myself for something without outside help, and even then it isnt guaranteed

Ghana: What is your favourite sport?Basketball, its the only one I understand 😂

Greece: Do you let others help you when in need?I do sometimes tell my closest friends if I’m in a really bad patch and out of options. Although, I become more focused on making them feel helpful than actually being honest when I can’t believe them etc.

Hungary: Who is the person you trust the most?My closest friends probably. Although there are different kinds of trust, so it varies with what I’m trusting and who I go to etc.

Hutt River: What is the most memorable dream or nightmare you’ve had?I remember most of my dreams tbh, and for months too. Nightmares especially, but i wont share those bc theyre really horrific tbh. I had a dream a few months back that I died and went to heaven, that was nice. Like, it just felt so calm, I didnt want to wake up.

Hong Kong: Do you fear death?I dont so much fear death as fear excessive pain and suffering tbh. I’m okay with not knowing what, if anything, happens after we die.

Iceland: Do you hide your real personality? Why?Not reaaally 😂 when I’m with people I know and trust I can pretty much be myself. But different people bring out different parts of me.There is a small part I crush right down bc I hate it, but it might slowly be fading.

India: How important is family to you?Idk, I’ve never felt super close to a lot of my family. I just sort of seem to find my own family, and theyre hella important to me.

Japan: Tell us a secret about yourself.I dont have that many secrets????? At all??? And the ones I do have I don’t tell for a reason 😂 lets go with: i have 2 moles and a shoulder dimple that look like a blob fish.

Kenya: What is your favourite wild animal?I love so many of them?!?!?!?! I love capybaras but also elephants and also gorillas???

Korea: What is one thing you accomplished by yourself?Ah, I never do anything completely by myself 😂 Idk, managing to get to america on my own was pretty scary, but I did it.

Kugelmugel: Is there anyone you have a love hate relationship with?I mean according to my anxiety, everyone I love hates me 😂But erm, the only person who I can really think of is my old geography teacher. He was a legend and I loved him, but for sure he hated me.

Latvia: Do you believe you are brave?Eh, idk. I don’t think I’m a coward, but it would depend on the situation.

Ladonia: What is the internet site you visit most often?Tumblr. I cant deny it.

Liechtenstein: How do people underestimate you most often?I have no idea, they usually overestimate me, though I don’t pay much attention to peoples expectations 😂 I genuinly have no idea, maybe I should ask my friends or something

Lithuania: Do you desire power?My initial answer is no, I’m not that interested in being powerful on a large scale. But I guess there are different kinds of power? Like, it would be nice to have the power to change other peoples lives for the better. Or the power that comes with being in government, which has always been something I’ve been interested in.

Macau: What is your favourite festival or celebration?Halloween. Without a doubt.

Molossia: Do you consider yourself strong?I used to think I was strong, given some of the things I’ve been through. Now though I realise I just supressed all the emotions that came with them, which are all coming back, and honestly I’m a weak mess.

Monaco: Do you think you are a lucky person?No, not really. 😂 I mean, there might have been 100 times ive narrowly escaped death, but I wouldnt know it.

New Zealand: Would you rather be an elf, dwarf, hobbit or wizard?I’ve never seen lotr/the hobbit ngl so just based on what I know I’ll say wizard bc magic

North Italy: What is your least favourite part of your personality?All of it. Idk, jealousy. Awkwardness. Inability to make conversation. Just who I am as a person.

Norway: What was the most disappointing time in your life?Idk, Ive been disappointed a lot 😂 my dad let me down p bad once, though i dont really wanna share the deets

Netherlands: Most generous thing someone has ever done for you?My best friend bought me a necklace with “you are the light of my life” on it and I still can’t get over how cute that is 😄

Poland: Hardest thing you’ve been through?The thing that comes to mind was the longest and most stressful night of my life. I’d just broken up from school for summer that day and we had an estate agent coming to value the house the next day so we could move out of the Flood Zone. That evening it rained and rained and I ran around the village asking council people to help us but no one came so we stayed up till 2am pouring water from around the house into wheelie bins to try and stop it coming in. Then I had a breakdown in the bath and just remember feeling so trapped. I never want to go through that again.

Prussia: Would you prefer to live forever or die alone?Oooooh thats a tough one! Bc living forever would surely involve a lot of time alone. I think I’d hate it tbh, 80 years is enough for me 😂 but dying alone is like, my greatest fear tbh. So I’ll say live forever.

Roman Empire: How would you like to be remembered?Idk, just as a good person that maybe helped a few people out, I suppose. I mean, sure I’d love to find a cure for cancer and change the world etc but gotta be realistic

Romania: What is something you are very ashamed of?There are parts of my body I hate so much I’ve genuinly considered taking a knife to them myself. I also struggle to deal with the whole gender/sexuality thing, no matter how much people tell me its okay.

Russia: Have you ever suffered from low self esteem? Do you still?For sure, yeah. I really struggle to love myself in any way, it’s an alien concept to me and I’ve always been taught to keep my mouth shut about anything I actually do like.

Sealand: Who is your best friend?My bro @only-slightly-dangerous lmao

Seborga: What is your favourite beverage?I absolutely looove milkshakes (despite being lactose intollerant 🙄), especially oreo ones

Seychelles: How do you handle people being rude to you?Lmaooo I don’t 😂 if they say anything personal, I take it to heart. I might try to talk back but I’d just screw it up.

South Italy: What is your favourite part of your personality?Ummm, idk, I don’t really think about the words I could use to describe my personality? I guess I quite like my sense of humor. Idk.

Spain: What would you tell to the person or people you hurt most if you had a second chance?I don’t want to sound like,,, a twat,,, but I don’t really think I’ve ever really badly hurt someone (not knowingly or intentionally anyway). The only person I can think of is someone I cut off for being a bad friend… so I don’t really feel too bad about that.

Sweden: Are you a leader, follower or independent?Lmao all of the above, depending on the circumstances 😂 I don’t mind leading things and taking charge, Im quite good at being organised. But equally I don’t mind following other people if I agree with their plans. I also love being independent and doing things alone, bc it feels free and you don’t have to worry about anyone else.

Switzerland: Would you consider yourself evil, good or neutral?Good, I think. I try to be a good person. Sometimes my initial reaction or thoughts might not be good, but I always want to do the right thing.

Thailand: How good is your poker face?If I’m just pissing about, not great. I just laugh. But if I’m serious it’s pretty good, if I can say that 😂 I’m good at acting when I want to be.

Tibet: What do you value most?What?? As in a quality? Or objects?? Idk. People with good intentions, I’ll say that.

Taiwan: What do you think of the people or person who raised you?I have a lot of feelings towards them, not all of them good. I’d rather not talk/think about it rn though.

Turkey: Would you ever want children?Without a doubt, yeah. I’m not sure if I’d have my own or adopt, maybe both. I’m not that naturally maternal; I love kids but knowing how to talk/react to them doesnt come naturally. Im probs more of a dad 😂

Uganda: How would you like others to see you?I dont know???? Just as a kind and trustworthy person that genuinly cares and will always try my best to help when I can.

Ukraine: What is one thing that has made you stronger in life?I have no idea. I don’t feel like a very strong person at all. My life just feels like a long string of events I’ve had to cope with.

Vietnam: What is something you are proud of about yourself?I don’t really,,, feel pride 😂😂😂 like I honestly can’t think of a time I’ve felt like that. I guess I’m pleased I did well in my A levels? But even then I wouldnt say I’m proud.

Yemen: What kind of art do you like?Its hard to describe? I know it when I see it 😂 I’m not too bothered about portraits and paintings of dull landscapes, but equally some modern art is barely Art. I quite like paintings that are bright, or tell a story. I also like sculptures if theyre based on cool stuff like, the human body ooor dragons idk. Mosaics are p nice too

Zimbabwe: Who is your favourite character from any folklaw?I’m not sure I know many folklaws 😂 The person that comes to mind is rumplestiltskin, but I think thats only bc I love his chacter in Once Upon a Time

[survivor-hosts]

Ep. #1: “Back Into the Groove of Things” - Scott

The cast was announced and both tribes started calls in their tribe chats.  Some early alliances started based on past relationships.  The first twist was that the tribes had to elect a Tribe Captain.  Regan took charge on Naicha demanding she be captain.  On Jinsei, they strategized about it for hours with Lydia using Sam and Scott to help make her Tribe Captain.  The first challenge was Winterbells and MJ lead Naicha to a hefty win.  After losing, The Alliance of Sam, Scott, and Lydia (The Three Muskequeers) tried to decide whether to vote out Austin or Catherine.  They decided to go with Cat due to her poor challenge performance and her connections on the other tribe. Connah figured it was him who was going home and ultimately self voted.

Tbh I’m really bored so I’m gonna make a pre-game confessional before the game starts. I really am excited to be back and playing my official last season of Tumblr Survivor (and ORG) ever. I want more than anything for this season to end on a good note, so I plan on giving it my all and hoping for the best. I think the timing for me to come back is especially perfect, mainly because in the past my personal life was mixing in with the ORGs and it got to the point where I had a big mental breakdown in front of the family dinner table. That’s why I took a break; I just had so much going on personally that I had to stop using ORGs as an escape from my problems and actually face them. It’s been about a year and a half since I was involved with ORGS and I’m really happy with the person that I am today and to say that I resolved most of my personal dilemmas that I had. There’s been so many seasons that I was considered for since Ancient Greece, but honestly the timing in my personal life didn’t work out and I would drop out in order to take care of myself (Easter Island, Sri Lanka, Generations [not 100% sure about this one], India, and Solomon Islands). This time the only conflict I may have is that I work night shift some nights, but lately I’ve been scheduled on day shifts so hopefully it stays like that so it doesn’t interfere with challenges and the game itself. But honestly I think I can work around it game wise plus many people talk during the day and late at night so it can benefit me. This season is actually really scary for me going into it mainly because I don’t know who to really expect. It’s an all-host season, so obviously it’s going to be all retuning players but I really haven’t been involved with this community in a long time. I could see a lot of familiar faces, or I could see a lot of newbies from the seasons I didn’t follow. I think I’m honestly going to be such a huge target coming back into the game. I say this mainly because lately I’ve noticed there’s a trend where guys who disappear for a long time and come back will end up winning (Jake B, Simon, Tommy, Stoner, and  Mitchell to name a few). So to be coming back after two years could put me in danger and others may see me as a threat, which is why I need to be extremely cautious. Plus I personally have a huge reputation that I refuse to destroy. Every time I’ve played I’ve never been pre-merge/pre-jury, and I don’t want to know what that feels like. Plus I haven’t played Tumblr Survivor in 2 years, and I know a lot has changed when it comes to the game format. Hopefully I can adapt to it quickly and be conscious the entire time. I’ve only spoken to like maybe 6 people from the community after Malaysia ended. I don’t really have anyone to possibly pregame an alliance with. The only reason why I applied is because Regan convinced me to and I spoke to Trevor about it to make sure it was legit. I know she applied, but if she’s cast I don’t think it would be in my best interest to keep her around (I’m sorry Regan I love you). I just feel like everyone would know how close we are and it would put a huge target on my back, or make it bigger along with everything else. I haven’t spoken to her about possibly being on this season, and I plan on keeping it that way. But other than her, I don’t know anyone who could possibly be on this season which could be a good thing or a bad thing for me. Good thing is that I’m a single person and if there’s a big group/pre-game then I can be a part of a group to go against the pre-game. However, if people are like “let’s go with the pre-game group over the individuals” than I could be screwed early on in the game and possibly be the first boot. Honestly my biggest fear is just being pre-merge and doing worse than ever in my Tumblr survivor career. Idk, maybe things can all work out for the best for me, I’m remaining optimistic about all of this and I really can’t wait to get back into the groove of things.

i literally wrote the saltiest jury speech ever towards lydia when we were in riau together and now she is on my tribe fjdkafjdskalfjkldjafdfs. we got along well enough in riau and in hindsight i definitely was way too salty towards her but hopefully no bad blood carries over from riau into this game.

Can't wait to be first boot

[2017-06-07 8:34:48 PM] Jessy: first impression? josh icon [2017-06-07 8:34:56 PM] Jessy: i feel like he's the only person getting invested in my convo. [2017-06-07 8:34:57 PM] Jessy: SKLJSLSJK [2017-06-07 8:35:17 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Am I gonna have to copy all this into a confessional or will you write one later :p [2017-06-07 8:35:23 PM] Jessy: i'll write one later [2017-06-07 8:36:04 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Thank you !

HI Trevor. It's your fave mom, Sam McCanada. Look at my son doing his momma proud 

i am god awful at winterbells.  i am god awful at every single flash game. this will be fun. the first night is always weird because i keep having tons of tiny conversations and they're all just small talk. everyone knows that these conversations are just small talk at the beginning of the game and yet we have these conversations anyway, fully well knowing that they mean almost nothing at this point. i feel like ive been out of the tumblr survivor community for so long that i am so disconnected from everyone here, and that immediately makes me feel like im in trouble. they all know each other so well, and while i know almost everyone here on a very basic level, i'm not particularly close with anyone here. ive played with a few people here before. in riau i essentially yelled at lydia in my jury speech and then proceeded to not vote for her in FTC. the one and only time i played with andrew, i voted him out. i'd like to think that feelings from previous games dont carry over, but i know that they do for some people. i don't know. i dont feel safe. 

why is connor so impulsive? i love the kid but 5 minutes into the game i'm already in an alliance with him and drew when drew and i haven't even talked yet sjhfsdkjfa. More detailed confessional later~

[2017-06-07 9:11:49 PM] Jessy: NO ONE IS talking to me. [2017-06-07 9:11:52 PM] Jessy: Can't wait to be on the bottom [2017-06-07 9:43:24 PM] Jessy: i like josh.. [2017-06-07 9:43:30 PM] Jessy: regan rlly tried me.. [2017-06-07 9:43:35 PM] Jessy: mj is a snake... [2017-06-07 9:43:38 PM] Jessy: matt is a snake... [2017-06-07 9:43:52 PM] Jessy: connor seems like a person who's gna be in a good position... [2017-06-07 9:44:08 PM] Jessy: allison and i idk her yet that well [2017-06-07 9:44:18 PM] Jessy: drew idk her yet that well [2017-06-07 9:44:18 PM] Jessy: KLSSJKL [2017-06-07 9:44:20 PM] Jessy: *him. [2017-06-07 9:44:31 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Lol [2017-06-08 1:26:44 PM] Jessy: i just wanna make an alliance that can watch shit on rabbit and have a fun time. [2017-06-08 2:35:32 PM] Jessy: regan wants a girls alliance [2017-06-08 2:35:34 PM] Jessy: BKLMSLKMFSDKLM [2017-06-08 2:38:45 PM] Jessy: its a concept yeah. [2017-06-08 2:57:07 PM] Jessy: im just tryna be utr. [2017-06-08 2:57:14 PM] Jessy: wide the waves. [2017-06-08 2:57:23 PM] Jessy: find my crew and watch tv shows on rabbit. [2017-06-08 2:57:48 PM] Jessy: mi opciones es no grande :/

Hey I'm back who wants to see me get 12th again??????? Or worse. BUT YEAH. I'M FUCKING BACK IN A MAIN SEASON YA'LL. Third times the charm I guess, but honestly I'm so scared. Pumped, but scared. This is - like I said - third time playing, and my first 2 times I got 12th. So fuck me in the ass amirite? Like, if I get 12th or worse I'll probably casually go into a major depressive episode for a little bit. So I have a LOT riding on these first impressions. First impressions are everything, and I don't really know these people very well? So it is VITAL to me if I even want to have a game in this mess to have a good social game right off the bat. And everyone seems cool at the moment? I'm just nervous about preexisting relationships and all that jazz and mumbo jumbo. I mean, I am the newest person on the tribe I think in terms of how long I've been here? In fact, I think only person younger to the community in this game than me is Connor Wubbenndjfm on the other tribe. Preexisting relationships are just scary. Like, I was on the call tonight with a few of the people. And they were all nice! But I kinda felt like a high schooler volunteering at an old person's home. ASDFGHJK I'm SORRY OKAY it's just that literally everyone was sharing war stories of like 2 plus years ago and I've been here for a year and a half so. Not a lot I could have contributed! But like I said, everyone seems cool. For not at least. And that's what I like. Keep the discourse at a minimum for the time being please! But yeah I guess if I had to give a quick opinion on everyone just from tonight: Scott: Super cool! Very easy to talk to. Bonded over our love for Isaac McDicksucc. I'm hoping he's not just doing some "be this social to everyone thing" and actually found a better-than-average connection with me because if so, I would like to work with him. David Robb: Person I actually know! Hosted me in TAR and shit and I've voted him out of a side. But I'm hoping we can work together? At least for now. I know I'm gonna sound hypocritical, but I feel like this is the only preexisting relationship I might need. I probably know the least amount of people here so gimme a break okay? Bitches... Sam McCanada: Cool girl! Remembered watching her host Transylvania. Know she's done super good and has slayed in CYS which is super threatening because I've heard that's a hard as ORG. If she tries to be the controlling type then it'd be best to be with her as opposed to against her - at least for premerge. Connah: He seems chill. He was on the call but didn't talk much and we kinda talked RRN. I know he's close to Lydia and MJ so I gotta watch out for that. If we go to tribal first I would go for him or Lydia only if someone voiced wanting to break up potential alliances first. Other than that I wanna keep my head down. Lydia: Same alliance type deal word vomit thing I just said above. But she seemed nice even though I only talked to her for a little. I'll try talking to her more tomorrow to feel things out. Austin: GOOD. BYE. I do NOT want to play with Austin Trevino. No sir. Goodbye Spongebob goodbye goodbye. Like he's a damn mess to play with and to watch play. He quit a side premerge the second things weren't going his way. And I know he's gonna try kissing my ass and kiss up to everyone and think he has this AMAZING social game. Like... no... sweety... no. But ya know what? Seemingly easy first boot cannon fodder. If need be. Catherine: Yay! Honestly love Cat. She won my first ever ORG (a side) a year and a half ago and I got 6/24 there so I spent a lot of time with her there. But then she kinda died? But now she's back! Out of herself, Austin, and Lydia - she didn't have an excuse for not being around. Idk how social she'll be but I wanna at least have her for myself. Okay whew. Other than all this nonsensical shit I just typed above, there's the other tribe which I can go more in depth about a little later once I sleep and process everything. Drew? Love him but farewell. Regan? Other tribe's Austin. Matt fucking Summers? I gtg suddenly. MJ? Could kill me but I wanna kill him first. Allison? My mom and one of my best friends but tbh this isn't Pacific Islands and I'll vote her out if I have to. Etc. Etc. There was Conner Wubben who's cool but I don't really know. 2 others I can't remember right now asdfghj oops. Oh we also have a challenge and I suck at desktop Winterbells so there's that too. If we coulda used the mobile app well :~) that woulda been fun. But Trevor apparently hates fun and friendship. Oh yeah and fuck this twist. It's 2:30 am and I'm tired and I'll talk more in a video confessional tomorrow so gnight and wish my flop ass luck because I'll need a little if I wanna get past that 12th placement hehe. *Takes a shot or 4*

I'm back for my 3rd go, and I feel as though I have a lot to prove not only to myself but to the community as well. It's been well over a year since I last played Tumblr Survivor, and I do think I've grown a lot as a game player. Coming into this season, I felt flattered by the shape and size this cast has been brought about. I'm standing here with castaways from All-Stars, multiple winners, and well-known players all in the same season. To me, this is both a curse and a blessing. A blessing because I'm the unknown of this season. The wildcard if that. I'm here coming off a mess that I played in Bhutan, and a lackluster performance in R&R. Not many people know my gameplay or how I evolved into what has become my playstyle. A lot of these players are "Old School" (characterized by the grouping from Generations), and I'm not well known inside the community. The curse for me this season comes with the realization of outside bonds formed from the casts' older seasons. These people know each other. They know how they play, and in order for me to win with the likes of Summers and MJ playing then I'm going to need to play to the absolute best of my ability. I need to play a game that is true to myself that can only represent why I, Austin Trevino, am the best possible outcome for a winner this season. Something I know I'm weak on is my social gameplay. For me, this season, I need to overhaul my playstyle to focus my strategic game SOLEY on my social gameplay. Play smart, not hard. I need to realize that I'm in this for 39 days, and not just round by round. My physical gameplay is lackluster at that, so I need to be able to make up for it by spreading awareness to my tribemates as to why I am an ideal candidate in benefiting their game. In doing so, I've already worked to the best of my ability to find 1 thing I can use as a reminder that I'm not some "nobody" they've never met before. So far I've reached out to the entire tribe and connected with each of them on the following: Andrew - We played Comoros together. I've also been talking to him about some Solomon reps for Cutthroat, but he is someone I genuinely like. I need to go deeper in getting to know HIM as a person, but I do believe he is someone I would like to work with in the future. Him and I are both pre-merge flops, so I do think we can see eye-to-eye in allowing ourselves that window of opportunity to take over. Scott - Scott is nice, supportive, and relatable. He is someone that is coming back into these ORGs for the first time in a long while, and I do think I can relate to him in the fact that this is something we haven't done in a while. He's going back to school to major in psychology because he wants to become a school psychologist. I've taken AP Psych in high school (LOL), so I do see myself working a friendship over with him through various small talks which could transform into something larger. Lydia - Lydia doesn't remember this all too well, but we played Storybook: Neverland together. She knows how willing I was to give my game for her and be loyal, so I do think she is someone that would gladly look to keep me. I reminded her of all this when I brought up voting out Jordan Pines on Jordan Pines Day. She's smart, and no one can deny that. Her placements are BY FAR the best average placements in this entire cast. It's threatening to see her on this season, but it's comforting to know that I can bring up a fond moment from a past game in order to share my expression of loyalty towards a person. David - David and the entire cast of BBHell2 hated my gameplay. That was 2 years ago, however. David knows and called me out on my horrific social gameplay in jury, so I need to prove to David that my social gameplay isn't an issue anymore. To start, I brought up some things about David's job as a cashier and found a way to relate to his job with mine (I'm a cashier as well). I think it really shows a lot when, after 2 years, you can remember something about someone even when they criticized your social gameplay. (See, I do listen to people >.>). I like David. Connah - Literally he was my host for R&R, so I immediately had something to open up with. I didn't last long in R&R, so the window of opportunity is wide open when it comes to establishing something. Cat - OK LITERALLY I LOVE HER, JOSH, AND CONNOR (who are all in this game and I need to immediately make a mental note that they're a trio in my books), BECAUSE THEY ALL HOSTED ME IN PERU AND THAT SEASON SUCKED BUT THEY WERE LIT. Cat hasn't been around all that much for me to talk to (or maybe I'm being ignored?), but I do hope to connect with her again by bringing up Peru and some friends we do have in common. Sam - Sam I've probably spoken to the most. She's "fresh" off of an Okinawa victory, and I do see myself trusting her. I voted for her as tribe captain and I would definitely like to see her place some level of trust in me. I just find it easier to talk to her over most others. I like Sam. This season I need to prove to myself that I can outlast the 3rd tribal council. Both seasons I've played have seen me voted out then. I can't OVERPLAY. Building relationships is what matters most here. As for the twist(s) of the season, I do think it's bittersweet. Trevor has turned this into a hunger games for Hosts. We created our own Weapons of Murder. I don't see this turning into a Redemption Island season with a cast of 16, so I do think this season is going to be idol heavy in terms of the various idols. Most of these hosts have held their unique idol twists, so when idol searching does come about, I need to be on the lookout for anything and everything imaginable.

im in a super weird position here because im super close with connor and josh on the other tribe. the thing that makes it an awkward position is that EVERYONE knows how close we are. we started our own survivor platform together and we're currently on the hosting chart for another main season. connor, josh, and i literally hosted austin in a season together. i definitely know that i'm a target because of this. the votes for tribe captain are due in 15 minutes and no one has talked to me about it. im just going to vote for some random person and hope that its with the majority, however i (ONCE AGAIN) dont feel safe.

i'm trying to stay on the down low but i don't know if that's helping me or hurting me. on the one hand, it helps because it keeps me out of the spotlight a bit. but on the other, it might hurt because i might not be bonding with people as much as i could be. fjdksaljfdsaklj i dont know what's happening

i love jake gyllenhaal

So, things are going kind of well, I think. First off, Josh and I are together, which is great, but Cat is alone on blue. Frankly, out of the three of us, Cat being alone was worse case scenario. I knew if I was alone that I would have been able to finagle my way into things and build relationships because the game I play is very social. Cat says that talking to people is a chore. So.... rip cat? I know Drew and Josh very well going into this game, MJ fairly well as he hosted me in RnR and Palawan, and Regan was technically in RnR with me and we played a storybook season together. Im also fairly good friends with Matt, so I definitly think there is room for me to pull some strings and get some control over this mess before it turns around too quick and gets me. Regan being tribe leader is good for me I think. She's very easily influenced, or she has been in the past, and I think she will be good for my game as long as she doesn't pull a Regan and do something crazy. And lets be real, we all know she will. Drew, Josh, and I do have an alliance, although there has been little to no talk in that chat. Rip. Also, Drew probably knows that if it were a f2 and it came down to the three of us, Josh and I would choose each other, so I need to do some work there to make him feel more comfortable in that three than he is now. I love Allison. Day 1 there was a tribe call and it ended up just being the two of us, and we watched a performance of Hamilton we did for show choir, and she is SO fun. I like her A LOT. Jessy? I like because she likes my dog. That's really all I have to say about her right now, yikes.

Me, looking at the wiki for the first time since premiere night: who the FUCK is Jessy???????

Well I’m really bored right now waiting for a call to happen so I better start one of these. I’m really happy to be back here and I like the tribe. Sam and I spoke on the first minute of the game and reconnected due to previous relationship. I like her and definitely want to work far. I don’t think it’s in my best interest to go all the way with her but I think it’s a smart idea to keep her around for the current moment. She wanted to make an alliance between Lydia and us and I was okay because I find Lydia to be quite comical. We spoke on who could possibly be the tribe captain and Lydia agreed she would. I think working with Sam and Lydia short term is ideal mainly because they both have gone far in multiple seasons and know how to do it, so sticking with them can benefit me significantly. I consider them to be my #1 alliance for now just because I usually respect the first alliance I ever make. I also have a good relationship with Andrew. The two of us talked and agreed we would work together. I want him to do well in this game just because he’s never made merge (and I think hes really cute rip) and I think he would be someone to benefit me as an easy #1 ally. I’m not sure what long term plans are but all I know is I want him around and I will riot to whomever to ensure he stays. David I like as well. We both spoke and agreed we don’t want the other to be the first boot. Sam and Lydia seem to really like him so we know he can be the easy #4 to our alliance. The only people I’m not really aligned with so far are Austin, Catherine, and Connor, and ideally I want one of the three to be the first boot when we lose because MJ is too good at winterbells for us to possibly win. Austin kinda annoys me so far just because he reaches out to me every single day. And like I know hes been doing the same to others just by communicating with them and I find that to be messy. Like its one thing to talk to people once in a while, but to do so every day like that is a bit sketchy. And like he hasn’t even talked game with me, it’s all just personal talk. Which is nice, but I don’t want to be the first to talk game with everyone because it makes me a threat. Catherine I only spoke to once because I messaged her. We talked about her flopping in Galapagos. I know she has a relationship with Josh so she could be an easy boot, but at the same time that connection could help long term. As for Connor, I personally think he shouldn’t be here.  He’s going through a lot personally losing someone close to him and I think he should take time off to grieve and stuff. But I can’t make that decision for him. Other than that, he hasn’t reached out to me so idk how to feel about him. A plus to aligning with Sam and Lydia so early on is that Lydia gave me the idol map for being the captain. I felt obligated to share it with them because I couldn’t lie and be like “Oh Lydia gave me this” early on. So now we’re all hunting for the idol. During this idol hunt I found the Amulet of Abduction. I plan on keeping this for the swap, that way if im in the minority I can get an alliance member over to my side and either screw their game over or regain majority on my tribe. But the Amulet stays to myself for now. And because we lost immunity, I gotta discuss the vote. So far I am loyal to Lydia and Sam, and I can get Andrew to do whatever Lydia, Sam, and I want to do. And they like David so I’m sure I can convince them to vote out one of the three ppl I haven’t spoken to. But yeah, I’ll update this later tonight cause I can’t flop playing for my first time in two years. It’s game on bitches, and I’m ready to play.

literally no one talks in this game and im so annoyed cause we lost the challenge and these people are acting like nothing even happened... oh well, hopefully i dont become the first boot cause my paranoia is getting me. like its really odd that no one is talking. in Ancient Greece no one really spoke to me, and i found out i was in the minority after that season ended. The only reason why i got far was because we ended up not losing challenges until swap and we just lost our first challenge so i hope it isnt me. i can't varner my ass out of this game cause its been 2 years and i just wanna play but no one wants to play which sucks!!!

So I'm gay and this tribe is a bunch of mutes. Basically I was on a call with Scott that ended up being 2 and a half hours? And now we're supposedly closest allies. Which is fun! Scott is really cool and I really AM hoping I'm his closest ally and he's not just pulling generic social game bullshit. But we also talked about the vote and he said Austin's name first. Not me! So I really want Austin to go home because he's a shady fuck. Like... Okay so he keeps talking about all of this shit that comes off as so fake. He says we have to break our curses and I'm like what's this "we" you heterosexual potato. Like he ain't good at these games and if he stays over me? I riot the streets. So yeah I talked to Sam a bit too and she - like Scott - told me I'm the person she's talking to the most. Which! Might be a lie. But ya know what I'll run with it. I'm also making a point to talk to Cat on the side because I love Cat and if she's not being super social then I wanna make a point to talk to her. My talks with David and Lydia are kinda spotty, and then I don't talk to Connor much. But he is going through some personal things right now and I hope he's okay so I'll obviously let him deal with that. Personal things prioritize these games for sure. TL;DR - I want to kick Austin's ass back to str8 lakes where it belongs. Just as long as I'm not the person bringing up his name first :~)

[2017-06-08 6:37:55 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: What is happening [2017-06-08 6:38:04 PM] Jessy: LITERALLY NOTHING WHICH IS WHY I'M SHOOK!! [2017-06-08 6:38:21 PM] Jessy: matt and i had a convo and he told me about regan giving him the advantage [2017-06-08 6:38:25 PM] Jessy: and i lied and acted like she didnt give it to me either [2017-06-08 6:38:32 PM] Jessy: and now im scared regan told him i got it too [2017-06-08 6:38:37 PM] Jessy: [6:02:22 PM] Jessy: hi [6:02:25 PM] Jessy: matt told me that [6:02:35 PM] Jessy: you gave him an advantage LKJBLKMASDLFKM and he shared the clue with me [6:02:41 PM] Jessy: i dont think he told anyone else tho so its not a big deal but [6:02:51 PM] Jessy: i want him to propose a f3 to u tonight w us [6:31:05 PM] Regan: Omg [6:31:10 PM] Regan: He said he guessed r [6:31:12 PM] Regan: And got it wrong [6:31:31 PM] Jessy: same [6:31:32 PM] Jessy: KLJSJKLS [6:31:45 PM] Jessy: can we pls f3 tbh [6:32:36 PM] Jessy: he doesnt know that i got the clues too right [6:32:36 PM] Jessy: SKLJSJKL [2017-06-08 6:38:59 PM] Jessy: i saw her go away and online within a min [2017-06-08 6:39:01 PM] Jessy: SO LIKE IM SHOOK SIS REPLY! [2017-06-08 6:39:15 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: I love receipts [2017-06-08 6:39:39 PM] Jessy: if nothing is actually happening this is proof of my paranoia [2017-06-08 6:39:40 PM] Jessy: LSKJKLSJ

they're gonna vote me out first and it's so extremely obvious. how are these people considered all stars of the game when they make it so ridiculously obvious who they're voting for???

[2017-06-10 1:55:26 AM] Jessy: btw mj will be first boot on this tribe [2017-06-10 1:55:27 AM] Jessy: know tht [2017-06-10 1:55:52 AM] Jessy: im not letting mj connor josh catherine go far. [2017-06-10 1:56:23 AM] Jessy: oh nd lydia [2017-06-10 2:34:50 AM] Jessy: r u gna make an edgic [2017-06-10 2:35:56 AM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: I am, yes [2017-06-10 2:38:14 AM] Jessy: when im ottn>

Ok, so I think I proved my social game to be effective. This tribe is VERY quiet. No one is talking, and if they are it's very forced. Lydia kind of baited me into giving a name, but with that came no repercussions. Honestly, me name dropping Cat has spiraled into a FAST frenzy of game talk. It seems like Lydia spread it quick, so I do know now that she's taking full advantage of the trust our tribe has in her. David pointed out that he heard a Connah name drop, but I haven't heard that? I don't know if Lydia gave him that name or if someone else did, but I do enjoy knowing that there are 2 people my tribe sees as disposable over me. It's kind of nice not having to work my ass off to keep my name out of others' mouths. The social game isn't all that bad.

Fuck MJ and winterbells

So update after the first late night fiasco Lydia, Sam, and I agreed on Catherine as a target. I was okay with this just because she really hasn't approached me (or anyone) and hasn't made an effort to really want to play this game. We only spoke once (I reached out to her) and all we spoke about was how she flopped at Galapagos. Oh well, hopefully she actually goes tonight. As for how this game is going, I think I am in a good position. I think one thing I need to watch out for is how close David and Sam are. I need to keep Andrew close to me, and I think he is going to be a huge help to me. So far he's been trusting in informing me on whats going on. I am worried since Sam and Lydia contemplated sending him home first. Now as awful as this may sound, I think its best for my game to keep Austin close to me too. Even though I see him doing lots of damage since hes kinda on the outs, keeping him close to me and making him think he controls me is ideal for me. Just as long as he doesn't catch on to this all should be good... right? I'm definitely not as worried about the vote, however I think I need to try and get a sub-group going with people that aren't Sam and Lydia so that way if they become a sinking ship I have other lifeboats getting me out of heavy waters. I want to solidify something with David and Andrew, but part of me worries he will tell Sam and she'll think I'm trying to go against (plz say this in her Canadian accent) her. I think I can do well this season, just gotta hope someone's dumb twist doesn't screw me over

I'm stress eating Dairy Queen and I guess the vote is Cat idk why it wasn't Austin but whatever I just don't want it to be me thank you and goodnight

Catherine and Connor never spoke to me about the vote and the vibe at camp is really sketchy so if i leave tonght rip me... but i had a good time and it was fun. Hopefully this isn't my last confessional

[2017-06-10 6:17:56 PM] Jessy: dw im gna send the most iconic conf ever! [2017-06-10 9:11:40 PM] Jessy: oh fuck i need to write it [2017-06-10 9:11:40 PM] Jessy: KLBVKLMSADFMKLDS [2017-06-10 9:11:52 PM] Jessy: if i submit it and someone already left can it still be counted for ep 1 [2017-06-10 9:16:34 PM] Trevor [Host of Hosts]: Submit it quick :|