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shineemoon · 2 years

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KEY ✨ “Gasoline” Preview

#SHINee #key #kim kibum #kibum #gasoline #shineeedit #IDK WHO TF I AM ANYMORE #THE WORLD WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AFTER THIS

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shmingleping · 11 months

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I'm in the mood to be self-destructive. I wish I had the means to do so. I hate having to just sit with this discomfort and all these thoughts and memories I desperately don't want to be reminded of. Fuckin. Hate. This.

#drugs tw #sobriety attempt #kill me #self destruction #personal #want to use so badly #to the point where ill almost use anything #almost...#fuck this shit #bad thoughts #bad memories #want to escape myself #thoughts #lost #idk who tf i am anymore #but then again #did i wver actully know myself #fuck this shit typoes for life #i cant rype for shit when in a mood

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piplupod · 1 year

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oh we fucked our metabolism up bad huh

IF YOUR BLOG IS ABOUT ENABLING YOUR EATING DISORDER, DON'T FUCKING INTERACT WITH THIS!!! GET HELP!!! STOP INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO RECOVER FROM THEIR OWN EATING DISORDERS!!!

#took a thc capsule yesterday at 4pm. been feeling it kick in on and off all day still. jesus christ oh god lmao #it is now 9pm and i am in and out of being high again what the fuck. we fucked up baaad.#we're not in any danger or trouble lol im just chilling. but goddamn juno fucked our metabolism BAD.#tfw the eating disorder causes issues lmfaoooo whoda thunk it #ed mention #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #its Cal again maybe lmao who tf knows anymore #also disclaimer idk if this shit is even possible its been over 24 hours since we swallowed the capsule #but this is what I'm experiencing lmaooo and I did some googling and can't find anything to blame other than metabolism

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gunkbaby · 1 year

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gang im not back but this is urgent.

so one of my favourite bands is pulp but i can’t listen to them anymore so does anyone have any similar music recs?

im having something of a mental breakdown rn and my other fave music is not doing it rn. like i still love my other music but thats not what i wanna listen to rn so um. if anyone has any similar recs pls lmk????

music is normally what calms me down and it’s very important to me, so im kind of freaking out a bit lol…

#me living off of song recs rn #i just wanna listen to pulp theyre my comfort band like dude what do i do #gunk #also the only reason im on tumbli is bc i have left other social media lmao #ppl who send me song recs my beloved #dont ask why i cant listen to pulp just dont #no they didnt do anything wrong #i just no longer feel like im allowed to #dont ask #how tf am i supposed to find something to replace pulp its fucking pulp jesus #literally my comfort song and i cant listen anymore urgh #anyway #vent in tags #kind of #music gunk #idk what i do when my dad listens to it???#i feel so guilty man

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airbenderedacted · 2 years

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I really need to make a DNI sometimmMMEE

#/nbh (i wrote this post and the following tags hours ago while getting distracted from hoemwork lol)#like im fine without one bc it's not like i ever take a magnifying glass to the ppl in the notes of anything i post that does numbers #and im not super active on here anymore so like. it's whatever. just blocking anyone i notice who's super gross & fucked up is fine #(or anyone who just makes me uncomfortable bc duh)#BUT BRUHH!! THE ONE GROUP OF PEOPLE I WANT TO KEEP THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME BC I'M A WOY FAN & ALSO BC THEY GROSS ME THE /FUCK/ OUT.........#YEAH. YEAH I NEED TO PUT A DNI SOMEWHERE FOR IT. I WANT STRAIGHTWASHERS AND THEIR SUPPORTS NOWHERE NEAR MEEEE. EUAUHGHH 🤮#KEEP UR MUSTY HOMOPHOBIC P.ROSHI.TT.ER ASSES AWAY FROM MY BLOG LMAO PLEASE GOD. FREAKS ME TF OUT. YALL R SO UGLY.#obvi there's ppl who disgust me a million times more but for the most part it's not like i have 2 worry abt them being attracted to my blog #and also Worse People who fall into the 'proud of being morally bankrupt human beings' category generally won't follow a DNI lmao so #that's like. very unnecessary.#but yeah when it comes to boundaries that *I* PERSONALLY HAVE. yeah i need a DNI sisters. auoigughh.#that's so annoying man like where even am i going to put it. how do i go about it. do i just forget it & continue on how i have been #IDK but blaghh

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hellpupp · 1 year

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Big Sad

#kicks dirt #idk how many times i can openly ask for what i need & just. not get it. before i've just gotta Stop bc it starts feeling pathetic #and potentially even bordering on emotionally manipulative.#debating the Morality of even tag-venting on my own blog bc i don't want anyone to assume this is targeted #i just feel Deeply Lonely and like i have absolutely nothing going on in my life except work #and just lowkey like.... Unseen.#sometimes i try So Fucking Hard to have a conversation with people only to have 100% of what i say completely ignored me #* in favor of a random meme.#it starts to fuck with you after a while! makes you feel Uninteresting and Foolish and Annoying #idk.#i mean i also ran out of my (Extremely Rough Withdrawal) SNRI last week so like. that isn't helping.#but it's more than that. i've been feeling like this for a while.#it just. really sucks when you move & have no irl friends. no energy to make any new ones.#and all of your long distance friends have A Lot of shit on their plates so you feel shitty and inconsiderate for even thinking of asking #for. well Anything really. let alone some of their extremely limited time & energy & attention.#like who tf am i to ask anyone #let alone people who are all Very busy and struggling w/ their own shit #for their undivided attention for a chunk of time they could be using to take care of themselves #i don't want to feel invisible anymore #but i also don't want to be a drain on the people i care about #i hate Needing things #i wish the depth of my love and devotion to the people i've chosen to care for was fulfilling enough on its own #so i'd never need to ask for things #having emotional needs is like. sooo gross & selfish of me tbh. :/' go the fuck to therapy holy shit u would Never say this abt Anyone else #anyway. watch me delete this in 5 seconds bc the need to be seen & the mortification of being Perceived can & do coexist #χ.txt

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woonierkiz · 1 year

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when fanfic writers are like having drafts for their fics, smaus, oneshot. wat ever chu chu

THEY GOT TO BE THE MOST DETAILED THING EVER

WHILE MY BITCH ASS IS THIS-

#WHO WON? @woonierkiz #tf am i doing #jay being spiderman #EYYYYYYYYYY #idk anymore <3

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koumeowkami · 8 months

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stumbles out of the 2wink climax event covered in blood (and tears)

#i can't wait to read a more decent translation but #the ending got me soooooo 😭😭😭😭😭#yuta is so fucking cute but i wish he said those things in front of hinata. poor bby needs to know his lil bro doesn't hate him at all #and then um... they didn't really put a proper end to the whole thing which bothers me a bit cause GUYS. sit tf down and talk omg #like they just acknowledged each other's povs. and that's it. they're just gonna fight to see who loses first #and only THEN they will fight together again. sighs #idk how to feel abt this but i just hope we get no angst anymore cause please i am really tired i wanna see them happy </3 #🌸 ; lyn rambles about stuff

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constellation-falchion · 9 months

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why on earth do I always have future-life-crisises on random ass weekdays

#i dont know what i want to do or where i want to live or go or work and i hate it #ik “no one knows this!!” but like i literally. i dont even know my own brain fjdjdksk i feel like im not a real person #disassociation!! amazing!!#do i want to go to uni? work more? move somewhere else? never move out at all? travel? idk!! my brain is just fluff 24/7!#let alone the logistics of shit #like im settled in work now so have no reason to move ig but i dont wanna live where i live now forever even if i moved out #but do i actually want a masters? or should i just keep earning more through my current job? can i even study anymore? what about my car?#will i ever be able to keep up with the 20 different hobbies i have that i never have any motivation to do?#will i ever be able to reliably have more friends than my uni 3 or am i doomed to never be able to hold a conversation?#what about dating? is that something i want to do? or have i idealised it too much? what even is attraction?#why cant i have any passions or interests or opinions on things #and why do i have so many unfinished games n books n projects?!?!?!#and how do i move out without relying on other people still??#im going fucking insane i want to run into the woods #and thats before the gender thoughts!!#i hate it here who tf am i. what do i want.

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kisshim · 1 year

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and the only man that went above and beyond to hit on me this past semester was a FUCKING GUY IN HIS MID TWENTIES (ik im an adult wild shit but like i’m aware ok. i could easily pass off as 16) and he found me ON FUCKING LINKEDIN AND STALKED ME AND THEN found me ON CAMPUS and gave me his number and instagram and snapchat and told me i was sooo pretty (all written on a slip of paper whatever) and i’m so lucky i was with a group of friends bc i seriously don’t know what i would’ve done in that situation because why is that fucking creepy oh . i don’t know just a master’s student who is like 24/25 years old stalking me because he saw me somewhere (he’s one of the cs TAs and i took cs but i stopped showing up to lecture) and finding out where on campus i live and somehow running into me and trying to hit on me bye he knew i was a freshman too because he STALKED ME ON FUCKING LINKEDIN

#he was a fob too and i know that’s technically derogatory but like there’s a reason why 😭 it’s such a specific genre #anyway if anyone was wondering i was fucking creeped tf out and didn’t go to specific on campus restaurants/stores alone for a while #also like how does one explain this to their parents i never have the heart to like #my mom will be like ‘aw why don’t u go here’ like haha mom i can’t bc a guy literally stalked me and i’m scared he might kill me #also yes i blocked him everywhere including fucking linkedin but i am also still very very scared #he’s literally like a 24 year old guy why is he hitting on undergrad students like what the fuck #idk maybe some girls are into that but like not me😭#and also like i have to say he hit on me twice on two different occasions while i was with two different friend groups #and both times i was very … i didn’t like it but thankfully even if he did see me after that he didn’t hit on me #but idk men are fucking insane they might try to kill u or smth i rlly wish i was joking #because who stalks you and finds out where u are thru linkedin i fucking hate that site now i literally never accept invitations anymore #i was like oh a masters student in a similar field that i’m interested in but naww he’s just stalking u girlie !!#anyway #goodnight now #vee rants

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just-jammin · 1 year

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got out of the uni i was applying to

holy fuck i am NOT gonna pass lmao (not disappointed, not surprised)

#that was stupid #<= (a tag for me speaking)#idk anymore #<= (also a tag for me speaking)#dude the ppl who were in the exam hall w me are MILES better than i am #we had two tests: pencil sketch and painting #we had to use one of the two statues in the room as reference #i chose an Artemis statue bc i don’t wanna draw Apollo’s dick #so i started drawing the head #and i look to my left (i was at a side seat) and HE’S ALREADY SKETCHING THE TORSO WGAT #i had a glance of some of the others too and their shading… man…#and the painting part...#the PAINTING PART #topic choosing was fine but doing the art?#man‚ compared to the others i've seen‚ mine's just like an art class project in middle school!#an amateur's work compared to WHATEVER THE FUCK THE OTHERS HAVE COOKED #like... dude i thought vis-com has some fkin digital elements where tf are they—

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snekdood · 1 year

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I accept that ill probably be alone forever. I just wish it wasnt because people were so manipulated by someones fake narrative abt me.

#i wish it was bc i burned half the city down ir smthn #something to actually make me sit there and reflect on the actions i did #rather than trying to sit there and reflect on the actions my abuser said i did knowing damn well i didnt #but feeling like if i dont analyze it the ppl around me will think i dont care about anything #even. though. i. didnt. fucking. do. anyytthingnngggsnahehws i want to strangle you.#like i cant sit here and analyze actions i didnt do bc idk why someone would do that stuff bc i fucking didnt. i can sit here and try to #figure out why someone might do that shit but ultimately idfk because im not them.#im sorry im not this ultimate abuser you want to paint me as. im sorry its kot as simple as 'this person holds views i think are #problematic so that means theyre the abuser'#im sorry that you look at my blog. see someone you think is cringe. and decide my weird awkwardness is enough evidence.#idk wtf to tell you dude. your fave is the one who did it. idk what tf to tell you.#i also dk how you can see all their 'rape is fun' drawings and not even SUSPECT FOR A SECOND that it could be them lmao.#but whatever. ppl gonna listen to the most popular ppl bc thats how ppl are in abusive smear camapigns like this.#ppl will always side w the more popular person. thats just a fact like thats something i learned early about #emotionally abusive ppl like them.#i cant sit here and pretend for you to make it so easy. that im the bad guy and its just seewww obvious bc of whatever politics you think #i have. i cant sit here anymore letting you believe that. i cant sit here anymore letting you believe the world is black and white and #you can just sort people into boxes of good and evil.#im mot what you think i am and thats my final answer. if you cant deal with that reality then idk wtf to tell you.

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noahthegrailkeeper · 1 year

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"A love is only as good as the lover. Wicked people love wickedly, violent people love violently, weak people love weakly..."

fucks severely with my brain.

#In this weird mindspace rn where....ya'll idk who tf I am anymore #I've grown so insecure and unstable and just....weak #and it fucks with just everything I thought or wished I was #And idk what to do #I shouldn't need constant validation that people still like me and still want me to be around and yet #I need to work on my self worth but tbh ya'll it's terrifying #especially in the eyes of the fact that this will take a long time and I don't even know If I can do it #like....how do I navigate my relationships like this? Should I prioritize that I need intimacy from certain people as a form of selfcare #knowing that I cannot give as much as I would like #and knowing that I cannot be enough #is it even ethical of me to engage with and burdern others with my need for compassion and love #with no realistic timeframe I can give or not even any knowledge of if I will be able to get better and become someone worthy of this love #or am I using this as an excuse for distancing myself as another form of self harm #and bc. i don't think in the events of when I leave the choice to stay or leave me to the other person and they choose to leave #I could be able to handle such a rejection #so instead I isolate myself to protect myself from such an outcome #I'm scared that this is all there is to me #that underneath all that scar tissue there's nothing left anymore #Nothing will be enough to make me feel loved or make me loveable because I am inherently broken #and every moment I spent with another person brings them closer to this revelation #....i need a hug #or a straight up punch in the face cause i deserve it

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angelhound · 1 year

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.

#people who eat other peoples leftovers are going to hell #i would say who tf does that but apparently everyone does #i am having an Unfortunate Evening and my saving grace was that i can go eat my silly little mac n cheese i left in the fridge #but no. now i have nothing to live for #dramatic yes but it really is very emotionally distressing to me #to plan to eat something and then it isnt there anymore i cry usually lmfao. i like my plans to go as i hve invisioned #if i know i left My Coffee in the fridge it should be still there when i come back. i love sharing i rlly do but people who finish things #that they didnt buy and dont say anything and dont replace it #going to hell #evil and malicious behavior actually #i am very. disappointed. i didnt cry this time but it is upsetting. yes crying bc i cant eat pasta i thought i could is very 5 year old of #me #but im also right #everyone ive lived with has been like this i am very sad #i wanted to finish my movie to destress but now i cannot bc i have been disrupted and idk what to do w myself i have to replan #i dont have other pastas it is increasingly distressing #it was in there for less than a day there are no reasons why this should have occurred #u r all hearing my woes bc i have to tell someone but its not important enough to call a friend probably #my fridge related horrors #mac n cheese disasters #idk i am considering just eating bread i cannot in these conditions meal plan #bread it is goodbye thank u for listening

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fandom-asylum · 2 years

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Right so being at the point of -theres zero communication within organisations and nothing can ever happen quickly but external people are expecting it to happen quickly and pressuring me to make it happen faster as if I have any control- is fucking exhausting

#i sleep more hours and wake up more tired than i was #i just had a melt down over the fact that i had to boil water to make pasta #i dont even want this anymore bc its so stressful #like if i had kmown i would hvae said fuck it who cares about loving what you do for your life #like at least my hr contact is a sweetie but my dept head has ridiculous expectations #esp for a student who has NEVER DONE ANY OF THIS BEFORE #im 21! tf am i supposed to know how this works??#and most others have the same thing i bet #so like idk maybe be HELPFUL and stop being angry about emails asking for clarification #fr i get generational differences but maybe send more than one shortly worded sentence and no farewell to indicate that youre not pissed #ughhhhhhh im so done #tag rant #corwyn talks #corwyn rants

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chappellroansdreamgirl · 2 months

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officer!els<3

author's note - meow i love this woman.

content warnings - black!coded!reader ig????, fluff, els i love u ellie williams pls handcuff me to ur bed and police-brutalize me! , text msgs from reader that are very me-coded! , mostly just based off every grumpy but cool cop i've seen in media, lots of notes from me i'm going insane I NEED HER!!!!! , there's a white man in a pic i put... you have been warned, smut/suggestive shit at the end!

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- def wanted to be a cop when she was a kid and then was a total fucking juvenile as a teen. (duh!)

- always loved the police officers who barely ever gave troubled kids a hard time. (this is coming from a troubled kid. acab all the way except for u guys. well, still acab, but y'all r cool!) would refuse to talk to anyone except her favorites. i fully believe that's one of the reasons she would go into this workforce.

- when she got approved to start training to be a cop, u were home with her favorite strand of weed and she gave u a look like, "🤨🤨" , "can't be doing that no more baby, i'm gonna be a cop." , "...stfu and take the first hit before you piss me off..." , she's wearing a SHIT-eating grin before she takes it. (don't ask me how she passes her drug-tests!) (probably gets jesse to do it or someone idk maybe joel if she's lucky!) (def not joel...)

- ADDING ONTO THIS!^^ : every single time you smoke when she can't she'll look so sad or just side-eye tf out of you... "really?" , "what do you want me to do ellie..." u stopped smoking around her when she couldn't...

- this woman is so intimidating but once those cop dogs come on the scene she's so cute<3 . she's so smiley and happy they love her AND SHE LOVES THEM. she definitely sent u a picture of her with the group of the babies and was like, "can we adopt them all pls i love them ):" . you guys adopted a rescue pup shortly after...

- whenever you're doing ANYTHING EVER she flashes her badge at you and says something so loser of her , "don't make me handcuff you..." or makes finger guns with the sounds and GOD I LOVE THIS WOMAN.

- speaking of badges, she always has her badge on her. ALWAYS. it is EMBARRASSING!

- when she got her first arrest she was so happy:3 . i FEEL like she took a picture with the fucker and everything and she looked so proud of herself. "good job baby now pls get to the station before that mf breaks out of those handcuffs he looks like he's gonna murder u..."

- this is a headcannon of mine (and canon so why am i saying hc maybe it's just bcs it's more in-depth in my head.) but she loves kids and whenever she sees a younger person at the station, she makes sure that they're ok and have everything they need.

- with that being said, she HATES the teens who don't have a valid reason to be such delinquents. lovable delinquents are her soft-spot but those... THOSE ONES😧.

- definitely is a kitten-saver-cop. hates getting the call but she responds every time.

- sends u this pic anytime u say something mildly threatening to her in text msgs:

suggestive/NSFW!

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- the day she got her uniform, you wanted to jump her bones. she came back home, poor girl was so tired and all you could think about is how good she looked in that shit.

- like i said... the badge is with her at all times... maybe this is too feral but i feel like she put IT in ur mouth and took a polaroid of it after u were done eating her out or SSAAAWWWWMMMMTHHHIIIIING. (pls let me wear ur badge baby i'm on my knees BEGGING YOU!)

- definitely joked about role-playing jailer/jailed and then it wasn't a joke anymore. y'all tried it once and couldn't stop laughing.

- has definitely used her handcuffs on u or vice versa. she gets so excited when u pull that shit out.

- ggggg...g-g-gu-....gggggggggguuuunnn ki-

- definitely has fucked u in the uniform. u two probs have had a quickie in the station bathroom on multiple occasions.

bonus round - police!els edit<3 :

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